Every Addiction

[krafty]

Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain. Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain. Whatever the substance you are addicted to - alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person - you are using something or somebody to cover up your pain.
That is why, after the initial euphoria has passed, there is so much unhappiness, so much pain in intimate relationships. They do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you. Every addiction does that. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever.
This is one reason why most people are always trying to escape from the present moment and are seeking some kind of salvation in the future. The first thing that they might encounter if they focused their attention on the Now is their own pain, and this is what they fear. If they only knew how easy it is to access in the Now the power of presence that dissolves the past and its pain, the reality that dissolves the illusion. If they only knew how close they are to their own reality, how close to God.
Avoidance of relationships in an attempt to avoid pain is not the answer either. The pain is there anyway. Three failed relationships in as many years are more likely to force you into awakening than three years on a deserted island or shut away in your room. But if you could bring intense presence into your aloneness, that would work for you too.

Eckhart Tolle, Practicing the Power of Now

[MajestyJo]

Just got off the phone with a friend who I was reminding her that the body manufacturers the pain to say that you need more. If one doesn't work, more doesn't make it better.

Just realized while talking to her, that the symptoms I have been having are a result of the new medication I have been given by my doctor. I haven't been able to get into see him, and the staff at the clinic aren't allowed to deal with medication. I am just going to quit it. When I checked it out online, the side affects were the flu symptoms I have been having along with dry mouth, which has started to cause welts on my tongue.

I don't have much faith in doctor's and hospitals, which are understaffed or over booked, so have been looking at alternative medicines. i.e. Drinking cranberry juice or taking cranberry pills are better for me, than going on an antibiotic, which leads to more medication. I can't take anti-inflammatory because of an enlarged kidney.

I prefer to go to nature and my God for the healing, as well as the strength and courage to put up with the pain without taking a narcotic.

[MajestyJo]

Sorry, don`t know how to access the older posts and will try to start again in November.

Not sure if it was a much needed time out, my disease trying to block me, or my God having me look elsewhere, for my disease is all encompassing. It makes itself known in many ways. Like making the chocolate `diabetic`pudding and eating all of it, even though I ate 3 bowls, during the course of the evening. It was gone by the time I went to bed.

In looked at my account at the library and found that I had 30 books out. I had found an author I like, ordered everything I hadn`t read, and they all came in at once. This was after, I had ordered another author the week before.

As they say, it isn`t the drinking and drugging, it is the thinking behind my dis-ease. Sometimes I let some static in, and I disrupt the air waves. I block my direct line to my Higher Power and my disease, keeps looking for that door of opportunity to sabotage my recovery.