Today's Thought - December

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December 1

There is an end to grief if we have the courage to accept our personal goodness and our ongoing right to happiness.
-- Justin Langley

Making peace with our losses takes time and trust. In the past, we may have acted in ways that were heartbreaking to ourselves and others. But now we have a new choice; we can walk the road of self-forgiveness and stop punishing ourselves for past deeds, or we can decide that we don't deserve to feel good, that clinging to our pain, guilt, and self-loathing will somehow make up for some of the damage.

Believing our wrongs are too great to be righted leaves us in a perpetual state of mourning. It's a risk, but we can choose to believe that change is possible, not all at once but slowly, one day at a time.

Believing that God loves us and wants us to be happy gives us the courage to make amends and face our past head on. When we take the leap of faith necessary to grieve and let go of the past, we take back our best selves, and the lives we were meant to live.

Today give me the strength and the courage to grieve my losses.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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December 2

Developing ourselves

We must realize in our hearts that we are becoming better people. We do this by using our highest standards and making our best efforts. We do this, in part, by turning our lives over to God, who will guide us if we sincerely ask.

As we develop, we find we're offering much more to life than just avoiding mood-altering drugs. We are coming to love others and to help them by thinking, feeling, and behaving maturely in all situations.

Am I developing into a better person?

Higher Power, help me realize that my new life is not just about changing my past but about developing my future as well.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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December 3

To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves.
--Virginia Woolf

Freedom is a funny thing. In a way, it makes life harder. We are free to do what we want, but every choice makes a difference in our lives. Some choices make us happy, and some bring trouble.

We can make good choices. We can control our actions. We can start by having control in little ways - follow the law, pay the rent, make the bed every day. These choices put order in our lives. Eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep. These choices make us strong enough to live each day to the fullest. These kinds of choices set us free.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, when I was drinking and drugging, I couldn't enjoy my freedom. I had no control over the little things in my life. Help me stay sober today.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll be grateful for having some control. I will list five ways I am more free because I can control my actions.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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December 4

Happiness consists of a solid faith, good health, and a bad memory.
--Clare Boothe Luce

Resentments are guaranteed to hinder our growth. We can never know full happiness when resentment clouds our vision. Why is it so hard for us to "forget" the small injuries of life? We have never been promised freedom from pain. Many of the lessons we are destined to learn will scuff our egos. But we will know happiness, completely, if we free our minds of resentments.

The formula for happiness is simple. We don't need material wealth, a perfect job, or an exceptional relationship. In fact, it's possible to know happiness with no job, very little money, and no significant other. Happiness is a by-product of a healthy attitude. And a healthy attitude is one that takes the normal turmoil of life and mixes it with a belief in God's presence. The result is an acceptance of God's will and a certainty that, in spite of appearances, all is well.

I am in charge of my attitude today. Happiness is a choice I can make regardless of what the people around me are doing.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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December 5

Truth is the daughter of time.
--Anonymous

When we were drinking or using, sometimes we loved the feeling we had when we were high. Our fear fell away. We could stand in a room and not want to rush for a corner or the door. We felt all-powerful or attractive. And when we crashed later, no matter how bad we felt, we still believed that our drug of choice could take us back to that place.

In recovery our truths and beliefs change. So do our feelings. Now we can have feelings lined with love and serenity instead of lies, feelings that little by little teach us the exact words to say whenever we need to say them, feelings that we can share.

Today help me realize one truth about my past and help me let go of it.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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December 6

Hatred is never anything but fear - if you feared no one, you would hate no one.
--Hugh Downs

On those occasions when we find the bigger person within, we are more generous in spirit toward others. But sometimes we think too much about what is wrong with others and how they ought to change. That is a form of hate. If we are searching for what we have power to change in our families, in our friendships, in the world, we can learn to be big enough to set aside our fears.

Do we bear ill will toward someone today? When we are honest with ourselves, do we feel a sense of fear in relation to this person? What are we really afraid of? Perhaps the same person fears us. When we can do something about our fear, the hatred melts with no further effort. Then we are in touch with the bigger person within.

I have the inner strength to face my fears today. I will not send them outward as hatred.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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December 7

Pray to God but row to shore.
--Proverb

There exists a Divine partnership between God and man that is wonderfully depicted in the following story. A young minister was driving through the countryside when he spotted a farmer tilling 40 acres of magnificent farmland. The minister pulled over and addressed the farmer, "God has certainly blessed you with a wonderful piece of land." The farmer replied, "Yes, but you should have seen the mess it was in when God had it to Himself!"

A well-known entrepreneur was asked the secret of her business success. She answered, "I pray as if everything depends on God, but act as if everything depends on me." It is not enough just to pray for and affirm our good. Like the farmer and businesswoman, we must also take concrete steps to make our dreams a reality.

Working together, we and spirit form an unbeatable combination. Neither can succeed without the other. Just as nature provided the land but needed the farmer to till the soil, spirit needs us to bring about heaven on earth. Let us work together as Divine partners to fulfill this promise.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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December 8

People Pleasers

Have you ever been around people pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety producing.

People pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self trust.

People pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others.

Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.

Help me, God, work through my fears and begin to please myself.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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December 9

True expressions of love are said to come from a source which lies beneath words and thoughts.
--W. Timothy Gallwey

Remember when we just knew Grandmother loved us, even if she didn't say anything? Her smile or hug said it all. We can always feel another's love - when it's real.

Likewise, the words of love, when they come from a heart that's cold, don't ring true to our ears. We hear them, but our hearts can't feel them. So the gulf between us widens and we remain two lonely people.

Feeling true love for another may be foreign to us, and we may have to practice thinking loving thoughts and saying loving words to become familiar with the feelings love engenders. But real love lies deep within our center and only awaits our knowledge of it.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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December 10

Self-Help or Mutual Aid?
Assisting Others

The Twelve Step movement is sometimes called a self-help program. This falls short of describing what it really is. Mutual aid might be a better term.

Self-help implies that an individual will help himself or herself. Mutual aid is a much different sort of thing. With mutual aid, we do help ourselves, but we have found that the best way to do this is by helping each other. Self-help says, "I can do it," whereas mutual aid says, "We can do it."

We should not dismiss the idea of self-help or of doing one's best in achieving self-improvement. We must know, however, that we need the assistance and loving help of others for our highest growth. There are times when we will feel helpless and alone. That's when mutual aid will carry the day for us and perhaps even save our lives.

I'll realize today that I have a bond with others, and that I can achieve my highest good only in mutual service with them.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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December 11

The price of wisdom is above rubies.
--Job 28:18

Our program is founded on wisdom, and the wisdom of the program is the light of our lives. It shines into the dark comers of the spirit where the myths lurk that would degrade rather than create, entrap rather than set free. Wisdom lets us see what and whose game is being played. Is it my game or yours? Not to know the difference is to dangle like a puppet from a set of strings hooked to head and limbs.

It may be a game of guilt, of taking responsibility for someone else's life, of accepting peace at any price - or any number of enslaving games. Without the wisdom of the program, how could we know? Without wisdom, how could we learn to give ourselves credit for how far we have come rather than berate ourselves for how slow we are moving? What a relief and a comfort to be able to rely on our wise Steps and Traditions for fail-safe guidance.

Today, I am grateful for the program's teachings.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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December 12

. . . what we want more deeply than winning.

When our relationship is in conflict, we may think that our partner always has the last word. We think it would feel good, just once, to come out on top. If our relationship is like a poker game, the winner takes all. We scramble to be the winner at almost any cost. If our partner wins, we feel like the loser. If we score a point, then our partner feels like the loser. In the end, if either one has lost, what have we won? Certainly not serenity.

What do we really want in our relationships? Do we want to stay in the fight until we score the final knockout? No. We want companionship and connection. To get beyond the game, one partner must stand up and say what she or he wants more deeply than winning. When we stand in favor of communication, our relationship improves.

Name what you really want in your relationship.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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December 13

You have to live on this 24 hours of daily time. Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your mortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of highest urgency.
--Arnold Bennett

We have 24 hours to accomplish all we need tor mental, physical, and spiritual growth. Just because morning meditations have been read, the work or school day is completed, and the day is waning doesn't mean growth time is over.

The first 12 hours of a day are usually spent housecleaning, raising children, working, running errands, and so on. By the time the activities have ended, we're ready for the second 12 hours: contemplation, relaxation, communication with family and friends, socializing, eating dinner, going to a meeting, sleeping.

Our most effective use of each day means believing we can accomplish something. There is time to be grateful for each day's experiences. There is time to build relationships with ourselves and others. Each day there is time to grow.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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December 14

Connection is not just about making time for family and friends. It's about a sense of caring for other people. It's about connecting with the human spirit even when there is no national crisis. The other day I was walking down the street when a woman ahead of me tripped and fell on the sidewalk. Two people walked by her as if she weren't there. Others just stared without offering help; I stopped to help, as did another person. We both waited for an ambulance to arrive and then we left. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed: a human being was in need of assistance and most people walked on by.

If we give lip service to love, how can we not be kind to the individuals we meet along our journey, regardless of their race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation? What happened to the connection?

This week is about making the connection. It's about making the time to connect with others.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

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December 15

Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree - they bear no fruit.
--Frances Marion

The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power--strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.

We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.

No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.

My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey