Today's Thought - December

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December 1

A.A. Thought for the Day

What makes A.A. work? The first thing is to have a revulsion against myself and my way of living. Then I must admit I was helpless, that alcohol had me licked and I couldn't do anything about it. The next thing is to honestly want to quit the old life. Then I must surrender my life to a Higher Power, put my drinking problem in His hands and leave it there. After these things are done, I should attend meetings regularly for fellowship and sharing. I should also try to help other alcoholics. Am I doing these things?
Meditation for the Day

You are so made that you can only carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more. If you weigh yourself down with the years behind and the days ahead, your back breaks. God has promised to help with the burdens of the day only. If you are foolish enough to gather again that burden of the past and carry it, then indeed you cannot expect God to help you bear it. So forget that which lies behind you and breathe in the blessing of each new day.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may realize that, for good or bad, past days have ended. I pray that I may face each new day, the coming twenty-four hours, with hope and courage.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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December 2

Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.

~Ursula K. Le Guin

Our relationships are alive. We don't control them and neither do the other people involved. We certainly influence our relationships—and if we are aware, we see they also have their own yeast. Whether we are talking of a love relationship with our spouse, lover, children, friends, or parents, it is a very fluid and dynamic affair. If we are actively involved with the other person and give time and nourishment to the relationship, it will grow. But if we are passive and only waiting, the relationship will grow stale.

God speaks to us through other people. Our relationship with our Higher Power influences our relationships with all the people in our lives. Today we can nurture our relationships with time, tolerance, and honesty. In turn, we will be nourished.

May this day be one in which I give attention to those I love.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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December 3

…and, when the time comes to let it go, …let it go.

~Mary Oliver

If we all let go of one thing we like, and take instead each other's hand; if we all let go of three minutes each day, and find instead a few perfect words for someone in the house; if we all withhold our judgments for one hour, and reveal during that time one of our own small secret sins; if we all skip the same meal each week, and spend the time together in the park; would we have less or more than what we started with?

It is one of the great and pleasing mysteries of life that we gain by giving things up. Instead of grabbing things or demanding from others if we give something up, we leave a space for something new to enter our lives.

Can I get more out of life by expecting less today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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December 4

Accepting Help

Some of us have felt so alienated that we've forgotten we're not alone. We've come to believe that we have to do it ourselves. Some of us have been abandoned. Some have gone without love. Some of us have gotten used to people never being there for us. Some of us have struggled, had hard lessons to learn.

God's there, always ready to help. There is an ample supply of people to care about us too. We will, if we want it, receive love and support, comfort and nurturing. If we take the risk to ask for it, help is there. We can draw on the strength of our recovery group and allow ourselves to be helped and supported by our Higher Power, Friends will come, good friends.

We aren't alone. And we don't have to do it ourselves. We're not doing it ourselves. There is no shortage of love. Not anymore.

Today, God, help me let go of my need to do it alone and my belief that I am alone. Help me tap into Your Divine Power and Presence, and your resources for love, support, and friendship. Open my eyes and heart so I can see the love, help, and support that's there for me. Help me know I am loved.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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December 5

There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.

~Evelyn Mandel

Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.

We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another—and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us.

Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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December 6

A.A. Thought for the Day

When temptation comes, as it does some times to all of us, I will say to myself: "No, my whole life depends on not taking that drink and nothing in the world can make me do it." Besides, I have promised that Higher Power that I wouldn't do it. I know that God doesn't want me to drink and I won't break my promise to God. I've given up my right to drink and it's not my decision any longer. Have I made the choice once and for all, so that there's no going back on it?
Meditation for the Day

In silence comes God's meaning to the heart. I cannot judge when it enters the heart. I can only judge by results. God's word is spoken to the secret places of my heart and, in some hour of temptation, I find that word and realize its value for the first time. When I need it, I find it there. "Thy Father, who sees thee in secret, shall reward thee openly."
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may see God's meaning in my life. I pray that I may gladly accept what God has to teach me.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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December 7

In wildness is the preservation of the world.

~Henry David Thoreau

Nature confronts us with its beauty in a flower or a furry animal. The awesomeness of nature is in a lightning bolt or a majestic mountain. Every variety of tree has its own uniquely textured bark. Each annual ring in a tree trunk is a natural record of the growing conditions in each year it grew. These things remind us we are not in charge, and we are moved by the experience.

This wildness is everywhere around us, and we are renewed by it when we interact with it. At night, in the city, we look up and see the ancient moon. When we live with a pet, it reminds us we are creatures too. We are part of this larger whole. We don't just appreciate nature—we are nature. When we open our eyes and learn to be a part of it, it renews and lifts our spirits.

Today, I will notice my relationship with the sun and moon, with the plants and animals in my world.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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December 8

Life gives us so much time to collect bizarre thoughts and feelings.

~Sebastian R. N. Champort

As we go through life, we run into all kinds of negative messages: teasing on the school bus, insulting nicknames, and other put-downs. Pretty soon we may discover that some of these messages stick in our minds, repeating themselves over and over like broken records. These messages can make us feel bad about ourselves.

But when we hear one of these tapes playing inside us, we have the power to push the STOP button. Then we can record a new message. We can even say it out loud, so that our voice settles emphatically into our thoughts. We can't make others stop saying these things, but we can stop listening to them. They only have power over us when we give it to them. We have the ability and freedom to let negative thoughts float by us, like water going downstream.

What positive message can I send to myself?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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December 9

Fear

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fear can be a big stopper for many of us: fear of fragility, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of what others might think, fear of success. We may second-guess our next action or word until we talk ourselves out of participating in life.

"But I failed before!" "I can't do it good enough!" "Look at what happened last time!" "What if… .?" These statements may disguise fear. Sometimes the fear is disguising shame.

After I finished the first two chapters of a book I was writing, I read them and grimaced. "No good," I thought. "Can't do it." I was ready to pitch the chapters, and my writing career, out the window. A writer friend called, and I told her about my problem. She listened and told me: "those chapters are fine. Stop being afraid. Stop criticizing yourself. And keep on writing."

I followed her advice. The book I almost threw away became a New York Times best seller.

Relax. Our best is good enough. It may be better than we think. Even our failures may turn out to be important learning experiences that lead directly to—and are necessary for—an upcoming success.

Feel the fear, then let it go. Jump in and do it—whatever it is. If our instincts and path have led us there, it's where we need to be.

Today, I will participate in life to the best of my ability. Regardless of the outcome, that makes me a winner.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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December 10

Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness—the false sense of isolation that exists only in your imagination.

~Jeraldine Sounders

We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die.

It is often said we learn who we really are by closely observing our behavior toward the people in our lives. We meet ourselves in those others. They are our reflections. They are, perhaps, parts we ourselves have not yet learned to love. The program's message is to trust, to have faith; our higher power is in control. We are faced with no person, no situation too big to handle if we trust the program, if we remember the connections among us all.

I will look around today at others, with knowledge of our oneness. Fearing not, I will smile upon the wholeness of life.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

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December 11

A.A. Thought for the Day

The longer we're in A.A., the more natural this way of life seems. Our old drinking lives were a very unnatural way of living. Our present sober lives are the most natural way we could possibly live. During the early years of our drinking, our lives weren't so different from the lives of a lot of other people. But as we gradually became problem drinkers, our lives became more and more unnatural. Do I realize now that the things I did were far from natural?
Meditation for the Day

I will say thank you to God for everything, even the seeming trials and worries. I will strive to be grateful and humble. My whole attitude toward the Higher Power will be one of gratitude. I will be glad for the things I have received. I will pass on what God reveals to me. I believe that more truths will flow in, as I go along in the new way of life.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be grateful for the things I have received and do not deserve. I pray that this gratitude will make me truly humble.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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December 12

If I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?

~Hillel

Some of us were treated badly as young boys and never learned how to live for ourselves. We can see only two choices: either be submissive and caretaking or be abusive and demanding. Many of us have so much guilt and shame that we feel we don't deserve to stand up for ourselves. This program demands that in recovery we be for ourselves. If we don't know how, we learn. If we are unsure, we must experiment. When we make mistakes, we must admit them and know we have a right to be imperfect learners. And we can't be only for ourselves, because that keeps us small and turns us back to where we came from.

As we accept ourselves and come to know our imperfections and weaknesses, we can understand others better. We are stronger in giving to others and more effective because we have a place to stand.

Today, even if I don't feel good about myself, I will stand up for my dignity as a man.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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December 13

The universe is made up of stories, not atoms.

~Muriel Rukeyser

There was once a storyteller who told many people of her life. They listened and heard their own stories in hers. Hearing her story, they didn't feel so lonely anymore. Hearing about someone else who had lost things and people she loved, who had felt lonely, scared, and unsure of herself, let them feel less crazy when similar things happened to them.

Because of the healing they felt through hearing someone else's story, some of the listeners decided to become storytellers themselves. As they recounted their stories, they found that letting out secrets that had bothered them for years freed them to feel good about who they were and who they had always wanted to be.

What secrets can I share today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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December 14

Standing Up for Ourselves

We learn some behaviors have self-defeating consequences, while others have beneficial consequences. We learn we have choices.

~Beyond Codependency

It is so easy to come to the defense of others. How clear it is when others are being used, controlled, manipulated, or abused. It is so easy to fight their battles, become righteously indignant, rally to their aid, and spur them on to victory.

"You have rights," we tell them. "And those rights are being violated. Stand up for yourself, without guilt."

Why is it so hard, then, for us to rally to our own behalf? Why can't we see when we are being used, victimized, lied to, manipulated, or otherwise violated? Why is it so difficult for us to stand up for ourselves?

There are times in life when we can walk a gentle, loving path. There are times, however, when we need to stand up for ourselves—when walking the gentle, loving path puts us deeper into the hands of those who could mistreat us.

Some days, the lesson we're to be learning and practicing is one of setting boundaries. Some days, the lesson we're learning is that of fighting for our own rights and ourselves.

Sometimes, the lesson won't stop until we do.

Today, I will rally to my own cause. I will remember that it is okay to stand up for myself when that action is appropriate. Help me, God, to let go of my need to be victimized. Help me appropriately, and with confidence, stand up for myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

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December 15

I feel we have picked each other from the crowd as fellow-travelers, for neither of us is to the other's personality the end-all and the be-all.

~Joanna Field

We must look around at the people in our lives today, and know that we have something special to offer each of them, and they to us. We do travel separate paths together. We may need to learn tolerance; perhaps a friend's behavior pushes us to be more tolerant. Impatience may be our nemesis, and everywhere we turn are lines, slow cash registers, traffic jams. Our experiences with others aren't chance. Fellow travelers are carefully selected by the inner self, the spiritual guide who understands our needs in this life.

We are both the teachers and the pupils. We need both our friends and those we may label our enemies for what they can help us learn.

I will carefully look about me today with gladness at the travelers I've selected to learn from.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning