Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - April

[bluidkiti]

April 1

Step by Step

Today: Faith in the program and my higher power to work by offering to someone else what I think I need or want for myself. Today, I will relinquish all that is selfish and impedes or blocks my progress, my growth, and extend a hand of service to someone in need. Borrowing from Mother Teresa: If I grieve, I will find someone who needs consoling; if I am hungry, I will find someone to feed; if I am thirsty, I will quench another’s thirst; and, if I am cold, I will give warmth to someone else. If someone seeking release from active alcoholism calls on me, I will not turn him away and instead offer what I have – hope, promise and rebirth in a program that has been passed on to me through grace. Today, I will accept that I can keep what I have only by sharing it with someone else. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HUMOR

Rule 62: Don’t take yourself too seriously.

~ Anonymous ~

Once we get the God problem figured out, it’s easier to lighten up on ourselves. When we play God, we’re serious about ourselves because, after all, we’re God and God is serious. Besides carrying the world around on our backs is heavy stuff, and it’s hard to laugh when we’re so weighted down.

Once we work our Steps, we see things from a clearer point of view. We get a sense of humor back. The slogan “Easy Does It” speaks to us.

We watch the old-timers and how they handle situations. There is usually little fuss or hassle. They don’t frown or look worried. Those who have been on the Program for a long time know that things come and go; God’s will will be done. Life has a lot more to do with acceptance than with being serious.

Let me learn to accept that God’s in charge. Then I can stop taking myself so seriously.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

We carry problems and discrepancies within us, quandaries that are not easily answered—and we have bigger questions about life and the world. Why did I act as I did in my younger years? Can my life partnership be happy again? How should I handle a secret that I carry? What is this thing we call Higher Power and God?

We are on a journey and in some ways, this journey is a quest for answers. The questions give energy and direction to our seeking. We cannot expect to get quick or easy answers. And some questions will always remain just that: questions. But we can learn to be patient with ourselves, tolerant of our incompleteness, and always curious about how it will all turn out.

Today I will practice patience with myself and embrace my unsolved questions as crucial elements in my quest.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Take a risk. Being absolutely safe can also be lonely. I might get hurt or rejected, but I might also find a new friend—and that’s worth a risk.

~ Mary Timberlake ~

Having a Higher Power who is here to help us is the most important gift of this recovery program. Perhaps for the first time in our lives we no longer feel alone with our fears and problems. We know that we can quietly ask our Higher Power to walk us toward the solutions for problems that have snarled our lives. We are learning quickly that within each situation is an opportunity for a lesson we have needed to learn.

Whenever we fail to remember that God is with us, we dread taking even the small risks of everyday life. Meeting someone new at work or being paired up with a new partner at cards can undermine our confidence when we feel alone and conspicuous. Being obsessed with how we are being perceived rather than remembering that God is always with us is part of our disease. Risk taking, with the help of our Higher Power, is part of our healing. Every time we take a risk, we strengthen our willingness to take another.

With God’s help today I will know a new level of confidence and peace with each risk I take.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to learn what pushes my buttons

Not so long ago I felt trapped in a self-destructive cycle. One day I thought I was fine. The next day I’d end up in detox with psychiatric symptoms. What was worse is that I couldn’t recall what got me to take that first drink. It was frustrating. I felt guilty and ashamed.

At group I’m learning about slips, relapse, and getting my buttons pushed. I know now I need to find out what things upset me and how I “build up to drink.” I’m, finally learning how to stop this cycle when it starts and then get back on track.

I will ask my counsellor or sponsor to help me figure out the most common things that lead up to a slip for me.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.

~ Edgar A. Guest ~

We have finally come to terms with many unpleasant things in our lives. The pain of our addiction led us away from who we really were. Now, as we become more firmly entrenched in our Twelve Step program, we learn how important it is to be true to ourselves. We know now that in order to be truly happy we must be happy with ourselves. At the end of the day if we can look in the mirror and honestly say, “Today I’m happy with me,” we are one step further in our recovery.

We can never be so sure of ourselves that there is no room for improvement. When we find ourselves becoming disillusioned and unhappy, we can do an inventory, asking, “Am I the best me I can be?” Maybe our minds need to be stretched and stimulated. Maybe it’s time for a modest exercise program. Maybe we need to spend more time with God. Doing one small thing can help us feel better about ourselves.

Recovery is a lifelong journey; each day we take another step. When we do the small things to grow, one day, perhaps today, we’ll look up and feel the happiness gathering in our lives.

Today let me do the things I know are right for me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

~ Step Four ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weak-ness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Four.

Step Four Prayer Higher Power, because of my addiction I have made many mistakes. I have committed many wrongs. I have hurt others. I have not lived up to my potential. There is no one to blame, for I alone have done these things. But I am ready to embark on a journey that will bring me deeper into myself. I am filled with purpose, even though I know I will see many things for which I am not proud.

Through your help, Higher Power, I will also see the good in me. I will see that I am a human being with (laws and imperfections. But I will also strive to see my strengths and talents. I am ready to make an inventory of myself. I ask for the honesty and the strength to complete this task. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There’s sometimes a good hearty tree growin’ right out of the bare rock, out o’ some crack that just holds the route; right on the pitch o’ them bare stony hills where you can’t seem to see a wheel-barrowful o’ good earth in a place, but that tree’ll keep a green top in the driest summer.

~ Sarah Orne Jewett ~

When our meetings end, we join hands or place our arms around each other in a circle of prayer. This circle gives us nourishment for our growth, even in adverse conditions.

Without this circle of strength and nourishment, we would be like we were before the program: a tree growing sallow roots, searching far for nourishment. The program grounds us and helps us grow deep and secure roots.

Whether we choose to grow in a forest or out on our own, we’re never alone. We can survive because of the spirit that flows through the hearts of program members into our hearts. Within the protection of the circle and outside, our needs for growth are answered and provided for by the program.

Tonight I can push my own roots down deeply and hold securely onto my space. I’ve found the place that provides for my needs.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Changing our fate

Perhaps we feel that life has played a trick on us: Fate has made us different from other people. We are chemically dependent and may feel life has made fools out of us. If we really examine ourselves, however, we’ll find it was not just life but our self-will that helped us get into trouble.

Most of our problems were of our own making, not something fate dealt out. The only remedy we know is to align our will with our Higher Power. We can choose not to be fools of fate.

Am I changing my fate?

I pray that I may take responsibility for my recovery.

I will align my will to God’s will today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I want to change things. I want to see things happen. I don’t want just to talk about them.

~ JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH ~

Newcomer

I feel as if I should be doing so much more than just staying in recovery and going to meetings. And yet, when I have free time, I’m not accomplishing much these days. I go to a meeting and then to coffee—“the meeting after the meeting,” I’ve heard it called—and I get home and feel too tired to do any more. When I have a big block of time, I don’t know how to use it. I feel confused and discouraged.

Sponsor

This point in recovery is a time to be especially gentle with ourselves. When we look back at how we were feeling and what we were doing just before we entered recovery, we can see that “just staying in recovery and going to meetings” is a major change. To be free from our addictive behavior, to keep a commitment to a program of recovery—this is nothing short of a total revolution in our lives. We have made a commitment to live, not to punish ourselves for not doing it faster and more perfectly.

“The meeting after the meeting” is not a waste of time. It’s important to get to know our peers in recovery. We can learn from one another, support one another. The changes we’re experiencing are mirrored back to us by others who are undergoing similar transformations. It gives us experience, too, at being with people without the “help” of our addictive substance or behavior.

We don’t have to worry about wasting time in early re-covery. It is a miracle that we can simply be.

Today, I let myself be.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

What exists in the life to come we can leave the theologians, but the actual existence of Heaven and Hell here on earth is indisputable to us who have lived in both.

If most of the Bible thumpers that continually rave about the treats of Hell could know the Hell the poor practicing alcoholic is going through, it would scare them to death.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Act the way you want to be, so that one day you will be the way you act.

2) Detach, don’t desert

3) When you have gratitude, you don’t have attitude.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

First Step Prayer

Today, I ask for help with my addiction. Denial has kept me from seeing how powerless I am and how my life is unmanageable. I need to learn and remember that I have an incurable illness and that abstinence is the only way to deal with it.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHO SHALL SEE GOD

… for they shall see God. In this wonderful Beatitude we are told exactly
how this supreme task is to be accomplished and who they are who shall do it.
They are the pure in heart. Purity, in its full and complete sense, is
recognizing God alone as the only real Cause, and the only real Power in
existence. It is what is called elsewhere in the Sermon “the single eye.”

Note that Jesus speaks of the pure in heart. The word heart in the Bible
usually means that part of man’s mentality that modern psychology knows under
the name of the “subconscious mind.” This is exceedingly important because it
is not sufficient for us to accept the Truth with the conscious mind only. At
that stage it is still a mere opinion. It is not until it is accepted by the
subconscious mind, and thus assimilated into the whole mentality, that it can
make any difference in one’s character or life.

… as he thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Divine Fool

’Tis a gift to be simple, ‘tis a gift to be free.

~ Shaker Song ~

In the Tarot deck, The Fool Card depicts a young man walking along gaily as he smells a flower. Unbeknownst to him, he is about to step over a cliff. The card has a dual interpretation: on one level, it is a lesson to pay attention; on the other hand, it is a celebration of holy foolishness—the innocent vision of a child who knows no bounds, obstacles, or dangers. Sometimes what appears to be foolishness is divine wisdom.

In the film Being There, Peter Sellers portrays Chance, a simple- minded man who grew up in such a sheltered environment that his mind never developed beyond that of a five-year-old. When he is suddenly cast into a cold and wily world, Chance retains his delightful innocence. No one who meets him knows quite what to make of him, but they really like him. Through a strange series of events, Chance meets the President of the United States, who is attracted to his earthy, unpretentious wisdom and makes him an advisor. Although Chance knows nothing about politics, he discusses the natural cycles of life in his garden, and the application of these principles makes Chance a national hero.

The final scene of Being There shows a group of politicians speculating about Chance being the next President. As they are debating the merits of his nomination, Chance wanders off to a nearby park and walks over a lake—no one ever told him that he couldn’t!

Sometimes we are wisest to play the fool. Go with your sense of childlike innocence and wonder, and doors will open that intellectual manipulation could never force. Not only that, but you’ll have a lot more fun as you play.

I pray to return to my innocence and see the beauty of life as You created it.

I give myself permission to live in childlike wonder.

[bluidkiti]

April 2

Step by Step

Today, I will not carry the pattern of compulsive and habitual behavior I perfected in my drinking days to other areas of my life. As a drinking alcoholic, I established the pattern of feeling and taking everything to an unhealthy and inappropriate extreme – all or nothing. That pattern is not necessarily in remission simply because my active alcoholism is. To shift the habitual and compulsive nature of my drinking to work, play, service or any other activity can be almost as self-defeating. And it is through the steps of character rehabilitation that I need to tame unhealthy behavioral patterns. Today, I will seek a balance between giving everything, taking all and retaining what I need for myself by seeking the guidance of my higher power and reciting the program’s mottoes: “A Day at a Time,” “First Things First,” “Keep It Simple” and “Easy Does It.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

DEDICATION

We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.

~ Anonymous ~

The best thing for us to do in our 12 Step Program is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.

We can’t think for others, and they can’t think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. We often hear, “Take what you need and leave the rest.”

As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won’t be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people’s ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can’t be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them.

Am I dedicated to the beliefs that are best for me in my recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.

~ Italian proverb ~

We may feel that we are less than other men, or greater than someone else, but in the big picture we are all created equal. In our low self-esteem, we may feel less worthy than the next guy. Some of us have built defenses against our shame and guilt by thinking we are superior, but that is still the flip side of the shame coin. No matter what we have done, no matter what has happened to us, no matter what anyone else says, our behavior and our experiences are not the same as who we are.

The way to step out of the shame and blame problem with our self-esteem is to accept our humility. The word humility has the same root as human and humus. We all are of the earth. Humility is in contrast with humiliation, however. Humility helps us outgrow our self-absorption and see our connection with all people. In recovery, no matter what our social status is, we all deal with addiction and codependency. Our humility shows us how to be respectful of everyone, including ourselves.

Today I accept my humility and equality with all other people.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

~ Muriel Rukeyser ~

Our stories give the universe depth, vibrancy, color, meaning. Yet we often forget our value to this planet, and we ignore the stirrings around and within us.

Most of us didn’t grow up feeling appreciated. Our value to our family or to the universe was seldom celebrated. We just existed, and we did what we had to do with little understanding of how we fit into the big picture of the universe.

We’re learning now that our stories, our presence, have always been necessary to the life of the universe. This gives us reason to pause and feel special. We may have been unaware of the life force around us, but we’ve always participated in the unfolding universe.

I am special, and my life, my story, is a necessary part of the universe. That I am here by design means I am watched over.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I let in faith when I let go

It has taken quite a while, but I can now admit that there is a power greater than myself – my dual disorder of addiction and psychiatric illness. I tried to overcome this disability as best I could with the tools I had, but I could not. Now, instead of fighting my illnesses as I did for so long, I am working on accepting them.

And in the process of accepting my illnesses, I have discovered an even greater power – my higher power. By taking Step One and admitting that I cannot recover on my own, I leave the door open to receive help. I have faith that my higher power will give me the help, the tools, I need.

Today, I will pray the Serenity Prayer and practice accepting one person or thing I would otherwise want to change.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The mind can’t soar if the body’s been grounded for repair.

~ Dale E. ~

When we were young, we could stay up late at night often with no major problems. In active addiction, we could stay out all night and still function the next day, though usually not as well as we could fimc- tion sober.

Now, though, most of us need a good night’s sleep on a regular basis. As we grow and age, we lose the ability to bounce back after little or no sleep. Also, like any other people recovering from a life- threatening illness, we need even more sleep than usual, at least in the early stages of recovery.

Getting a good night’s sleep regularly doesn’t make us boring people. To the contrary, it makes us alert and well-rested so we can get the most out of the next day.

We honor our bodies when we pay attention to our physical needs. When we are well-rested, we feel better about ourselves. Recovery is a lifelong journey. It doesn’t just take place during the day, when we’re awake. A good night’s sleep, a nap when we’re tired during the day, or just a few moments of peace or quiet time taken from a busy schedule, are often the best things we can do for ourselves. This is one way we can take healthy control of our lives.

Today let me get the rest that I need.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

An ice-packing plant in Chicago burned down years ago. This building had all the material inside capable of extinguishing the fire, but it was in unavailable form; it was frozen.

~ Allen Unruh ~

Experiencing any form of loss—of a job, a habit, a loved one, health, financial stability, and more—can be traumatic. But how you react to the trauma determines how long you will feel its effects. When you deny or suppress painful feelings, you keep the misery deep within you. In essence, you freeze your emotions, but you also freeze that moment. So when you suppress sadness rather than openly grieve, you may experience emotions from the loss for a longer period of time.

You may justify emotional freezing because you feel you need to be strong for others or because you think you will not be able to handle those feelings. But emotional pain is normal to feel with any loss. The more deeply you care, the more profoundly the loss will affect you.

First acknowledge that it does hurt like hell to lose someone you love or something you treasured. It is healthy to admit you cared so much. Then, you must grieve. You need to let your tears flow and allow yourself to feel.

I respond to the pain of my loss in a healthy way—by expressing, not suppressing, my grief.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

A well timed silence is more eloquent than words.

~ Our Daily Bread ~

How do we handle ourselves when someone is yelling for things we consider inconsequential? Do we turn away from words delivered in anger or sarcasm? Do we go to another room or leave the scene?

Many of us find it easy to feed into arguments generated by another. Our buttons can easily be pushed by others, and they know it. They expect us to react, screaming at them in anger or crying or defending ourselves. When we’re not in the heat of the situation, it’s easy to say we’ll make changes. But once the scene has started again, our best-laid plans are forgotten.

We can strengthen this change in behavior by learning the power of silence. Responding to a harmful comment with silence, turning away from another’s ire without a word, or walking quietly away from one who is on a tirade can be quite effective. Instead of adding more fuel to an already raging fire, we can cool ourselves off by walking away from the heat without comment. Silence can truly speak louder than words.

I can practice silence in the face of anger or outrage. I can turn away from an unhealthy situation.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding competition

In our using days, we needed to know who had what job, what house, what car, who made more money, and so on. Yet learning to turn our lives over to God is not a spiritual contest.

Our spiritual quest should be to carry out God’s will for us. It should not be to spiritually outdo others. God knows our capabilities and gives us a place that we can suitably fill.

Have I stopped competing?

May I stop competing and leave the measurement of this day to my Higher Power.

I will avoid competing today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

To be alive at all is to have scars.

~ JOHN STEINBECK ~

Newcomer

At a recent meeting, I heard someone sharing as if she’d solved every problem she’d ever had. She was smiling the whole time she spoke, talking about how great everything is. I don’t know why, but I felt angry afterward. She sounded so glib and self-satisfied and know-it-all. If that’s recovery, I don’t know if I want it.

Sponsor

I can identify with your anger. I, too, sometimes find it irritating to hear someone chattering about his or her happiness and success, especially when my own life seems to be full of messy problems. But it may not be the contrast between her situation and your own that got you upset. Perhaps you intuited that she may not, in fact, “have it all together.” Few humans do. I love hearing people talk about the ways this program has helped them, but recovery doesn’t make us perfect.

It won’t help my own recovery if I judge the quality of someone else’s. I know, though, that when I hear people sharing at meetings, I’m drawn far more deeply to some sharing than to others. Oddly enough, I sometimes get more spiritual sustenance from hearing someone who is having to cope with immense difficulties than from someone who appears to have none at all.

Recovery doesn’t require perfection. In fact, perfection isn’t possible.

Today, I have unconditional love for myself, whatever my scars or difficulties.
I extend this unconditional love to all those around me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Reduced to its simplest form, the only true worship is to love God, and the only way to demonstrate this love is to serve your fellow man.

We in AA show the extent of our moral growth in the extent of our service to others. It is the only true spiritual experience. The flash of light that some of us experience could be only the first ray of intelligence that finally penetrated the alcoholic fog and dazzled our minds.

The true spiritual experience is evidenced by a passion to do those things which delight the spirit. By their works shall ye know them.

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~ POCKET SPONSOR ~ (Back to the Basics for Addiction Recovery) ~

As our addiction struggles to maintain its power over us, it presents many false claims trying to pull us back into the mire of destruction. When you are in a meeting, your disease is in the parking lot doing push-ups.

My fear is not a fact. My FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Second Step Prayer

I pray for an open mind so I may come to believe in a Power greater than myself. I pray for humility and the continued opportunity to increase my faith. I don’t want to be crazy any more.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

INSUFFICIENCY OF KNOWLEDGE

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

Most people, and learned people especially, have all kinds of knowledge that
does not in the least affect or improve their practical lives. Doctors know all
about hygiene, but often live in an unhealthy accumulated wisdom of the ages,
and assent to most of it, continue to do foolish and stupid things in their own
personal lives. Now, knowledge such as this is only opinion, or head
knowledge, as some people call it. It has to become heart knowledge, or to be
incorporated into the subconscious, before it can really change one. The modern
psychologists in their efforts to “re-educate the subconscious” have the right
idea, though they have not yet discovered the true method of doing so, which is
by single-minded prayer, or the Practice of the Presence of God.

Jesus, of course, thoroughly understood all this, and that is why he stresses
the fact that we have to be pure in heart.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Man Who Planted Trees

In a gentle way you can shake the world.

~ Gandhi ~

I saw an extraordinary film about the life of Elzeard Bouffier, a humble shepherd who turned a wilderness into a lush forest. In a lifetime spanning two World Wars, while madmen killed each other for worldly power, this individual quietly and anonymously brought his world back to life, planting one acorn at a time. He not only created natural beauty, but contributed to healing an entire town that had fallen into despair—one man, working gently, living day to day, seeding love wherever he went.

Each of us has a forest we can plant to bring our world back to life. Our trees may not be spruces; they may be children, songs, art, ideas, massage, repairs, writing, or any other gift that comes to us and through us.

What impressed me most about Elzeard Bouffier was the humility with which he conducted his forestry ministry. He was silent most of the time, he did not seek acknowledgment and never asked anyone to follow him. He simply knew what he had to do and went about the business of doing it.

I met Scott and Helen Nearing, the famous couple who initiated the back-to-the-land movement in the 1930s. Although the Nearings had well-paying jobs and comfortable city lives, they moved to the mountains of Vermont, grew organic food, heated with wood, and nurtured their land. At the time, they were laughed at and criticized. Now they are considered pioneers and virtual saints. I asked Helen, “How do you feel now that so many are doing what you began?”

“It’s wonderful,” Helen answered, “but that’s not why we did it. We did what we had to because it was right for us. If no one else ever followed, it would have been just as right.”

What is your forest? How can you bring your world back to life? Begin today, one acorn at a time.

I pray to restore my world with color and beauty;

I bring my world to life.

[bluidkiti]

April 3

Step by Step

Today, I will not let selfishness, any problems I have and lack of empathy to blind me to someone else’s needs and problems. Human nature, and especially so with the recovering alcoholic, is to retreat into self and worry with our own problems – sometimes out of a misplaced intention not to unload on others. But by withdrawing we may lose someone’s helpful advice or, if nothing more, give voice to what we fear. But, sometimes unintentionally, I risk alienation of others who interpret my lack of interaction as apathy to them and their own problems. Today, I break down my self-erected boundaries to understand that, with others, there can be sharing without dumping and there can be something I might be able to offer them in their own recoveries. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

STICKING TO IT

I shot an arrow into the air. It fell to earth, I knew not where.

~ Longfellow~

When we’re working hard on something, and we’re not sure how it’s going to turn out, we sometimes feel hopeless. But we never let that hopeless feeling make us unsure of our goals. As long as we keep trying to help ourselves or others, we can’t fail.

Friends always tell us to look past our goals because we can’t tell when or where our message will find its mark. We tell ourselves every day that there is no shame in falling down. The shame comes when we fall and don’t get up again to make another try.

Our strength doesn’t come from winning easily. Our strength comes from winning over hopelessness. If we quit today, tomorrow will be impossible.

May I be strong and stick to my efforts at personal and spiritual progress.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Solitude is the furnace of transformation.

~ Henri Nouwen ~

This path is an alternative to the lifestyles portrayed by Hollywood and the popular media. It is about finding happiness on a deeper level than immediate gratification. It is about a bigger, fuller kind of happiness than we can find in a new car or an erotic one-night stand. No hit TV program shows the way. No commercial touts the joy that can be found in peace of mind.

Solitude is quiet. It is not loneliness and it is not neediness. Solitude is the way we meet ourselves; it is the place where we first get honest and finally accept the truths we have been avoiding. It is the place where we are alone with God. Many of us don’t know how to be alone. We have never actually accepted our own companionship or taken on the role of self-care. We can start by taking a few minutes of quiet, in a room or on a park bench. In that quiet moment we might simply make a fist of what we are grateful for, or speak to God about what we want help with. In solitude we learn to reach down into our inner well of knowing, where we find guidance.

Today I will seek the solitude that transforms my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If there were no others to share ourselves with, life would be meaningless.

~ Carlotta Posz ~

We often hear at meetings and from sponsors the saying “There are no accidents.” But what does it mean? That wars are necessary? That a suffering parent is God’s will? That our disease is our destiny? We can worry ourselves sick over the answers, or we can accept these mysteries and try instead to appreciate the lessons they offer us. It’s the lessons that aren’t accidental.

We are here for a purpose. We may not yet understand what our contribution was yesterday or will be today, but we can come to believe that the people we’re living among are necessary to the contribution that is ours to make.

We grow and change through our acceptance of the unexplainable in our lives. The more willing we are to let God be in charge, the more meaning we’ll see in the small details of our lives. Finally, we’ll come to understand the depth of meaning in those four simple words “There are no accidents.”

I can trust that God is part of every detail of my life today. I can either be peaceful about what happens or hr resistant and miss my opportunity to contribute.

************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am looking forward to the future

The most important thing in my life today is staying abstinent and stable. But being in recovery from a dual disorder does not define me for all time. My illnesses are only part of me.

Before I got sick, I was dating and working to advance my career. Now I feel strong enough to get back on track. The track may take a different route – my goals in life have changed some with my illnesses – but I still feel I have a lot to contribute o the world – perhaps more now than before.

I will ask my sponsor or therapist to help me as I make a plan for my future.

***********************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I never realized something so good could knock me for a loop.

~ Frederick G. ~

We expect to be upset by bad news, or at least to be blown off course for a while. But good things take a toll on us too, especially if they mean big changes. We’re creatures of habit, and change is hard, even a change to something better. We don’t prepare for good things the way we do for bad ones and may not have any support to help us cope. So we sometimes flounder, not sure what to do next. We can take a long time regaining our balance.

Change doesn’t have to upset us anymore; we can prepare ourselves. When seeking a promotion or a better job, we can think through how it might affect us. Taking on more responsibility can be scary sometimes. A new relationship, even a new friend, involves more responsibility, too, and more time from us. We need to think about how we’ll handle our feelings and get our needs met.

With each change, the most important constants in our lives will be our recovery and the presence of our Higher Power. With the strength and support of our Twelve Step program, we can face change with serenity.

Today help me accept change and grow from it.

************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Rough weather makes good timber.

~ Appalachian adage ~

When you journey up a mountain path, you see many types of tree growth. In the lower part of the mountain are small saplings just starting their growth as well as towering trees. Higher up, trees are smaller. Some cling precariously to the side of the mountain, growing out of a small patch of earth between cracks in a rock.

Journey up the same path after a spring snowmelt and you may see a different view. In the lower regions, once towering trees have been felled by the power of raging water, and small saplings have been snapped at their base. But up higher, small trees are still firmly in place, stead-fast in their grip between the rocks.

The lesson in this is that the strongest can survive. Like the trees, you are ever-exposed to the storms and difficulties of daily life. Will you be overwhelmed by life’s adversities, easily felled by such things, or will you develop an inner strength and resiliency that will enable you to work through each difficulty? Today recognize that challenges in life are inevitable. Brace yourself for them, hold firm to your position, and never let them dislodge you.

I am a survivor who can withstand the difficulties in life. I do this with strength and with dignity.

************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Sometimes we need to look hard at a person and remember he is doing the best he can. He’s just trying to find his way. That’s all.

~ Ernest Thompson ~

Sometimes we need to look hard at ourselves at the end of a day and give ourselves credit for doing our best. We need to look at our actions and reactions as objectively as possible. Now is the time to review and focus on the positive outcomes, not the negative.

The mere fact we got out of bed, got dressed, and faced the day are sometimes acts of courage and strength. We didn’t run from the day; we faced it, even with feelings of anxiety or sadness or fear. What matters is this – that we tried to do the best we could.

Let’s look back over the day and remember we did the very best we could to find our own way today.

How did I do the best I could today? What good things have I learned about me?

************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Rediscovering love

We know that in each of us, a fountain of love lies buried ready to be discovered. If we practice our newfound principles and con-tinue searching we’ll uncover our treasure, little by little, beneath our resentments, un-healthy style, and shame.

Our Higher Power and the Twelve Step program give us the guidance, strength, and tools necessary to uncover it.

Am I finding love?

Higher Power, help me use the tools you give me so that I may reconnect with my reservoir of love.

I will make myself open to love today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

~ FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT ~

Newcomer

Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I’m not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.

Sponsor

What you’re experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a “honeymoon” phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.

Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that’s not accurate. What’s really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we’ve heard is really true—that “our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction.” We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer, after all.

Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.

Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and all things therein contained. There is nothing on earth that God didn’t put here.

True, we have manufactured things by changing sizes, shapes or chemical combinations but all things made by man can be reduced to those elements that God originally put here on earth. All things therefore are God’s and he put them here for our use. He did not intend that we should hoard up surpluses and thus deprive others of their use.

Our responsibility begins in our use of these surpluses. It’s God’s not ours, remember? And some of God’s loved ones are in want.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) HEART: Healing, Enjoying And Recovery Together

2) Act, don’t react.

3) A meeting a day keeps the detox away.

************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Third Step Prayer

God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.

May I do Thy Will always.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PEACEMAKERS

Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of god
(Matthew 5:9).

To the casual reader this Beatitude might sound like a mere conventional
religious generalization, even a sententious platitude. Here we receive an
invaluable practical lesson in the art of prayer—and prayer is our only means
of returning to communion with God. As a matter of fact, prayer is the only
real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that
changes one’s character. when such a change takes place, you become a different
person and, therefore, for the rest of your life you act in a different way. If
you should get a very strong realization of the Presence of God with you, it
would make a very great and dramatic change in your character, so that, in the
twinkling of an eye, your outlook, your habits, your whole life would completely
change. Many such cases are on record, including cases of what used to be
called “conversion.” Because the change is radical, Jesus refers to it as being
“born again.”

The great essential for success in obtaining that sense of the Presence of God
is that we first attain some degree of true peace of mind.

************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Worth It

If you had but the faith of a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, “Be thou moved,” and so it would be.

~ Jesus Christ ~

While I was writing my first book on a borrowed electric type-writer, I saw a similar one at a yard sale for $50. I questioned if the project was really worth it, and I passed. But the thought of the typewriter nagged at me until I decided to return to the (regular) yard sale a month later. The typewriter was still there (a sign!), and I purchased it.

The book became a bestseller, and along with my subsequent writing has created millions of dollars in sales. As I look back now on my hesitancy to purchase the typewriter, I laugh at how small I was thinking—a $50 investment eventually returned itself a hundred thousand times over!

Now I realize that it was not the worth of the typewriter I questioned, but my own worth. If I had known that such seeds of service and success lay within me and my writing, I would have gone out and bought the best typewriter on the market.

Every decision you make reflects what you believe about yourself. If you know your worth, you will act in ways that reflect your gifts.

Help me honor who I am and what I am here to do.

God inspires me to do great things. I joyfully act on the guidance I receive.

[bluidkiti]

April 4

Step by Step

Today, unconditional trust in my higher power for what I need and not what I think I want, and to understand that my recovery cannot be on my time schedule. In my impatience for the promises of the program, I must remember that the damage to myself and others as an alcoholic in the making and, later, as a drinking alcoholic, was not inflicted overnight. Thus, I can’t expect recovery overnight. I need patience to thwart impatience, and I need only remember the damage caused by impatience in rushing toward what I thought I wanted and realize that a rushed recovery will likely lead, as it has in the past, to a train wreck. If through this day I encounter something I do not want, I will reign fight an emotional reaction like anger or self-pity or indignation and ask my higher power only for His knowledge and will to handle it so as not to threaten my progress or inflict injury on anyone. His time table, not mine. His knowledge of my needs, not my selfish wants. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SLIPPERY PLACES

If you sit in the barber chair long enough, you’re bound to get your hair cut.

~ Anonymous ~

In recovery, we stay aware and keep in contact with our Higher Power. We keep our addictions in check with our Step work. We now know the difference between what is right and wrong for us. We know we are weak and powerless over our addictions. We know it is only by the grace of our Higher Power that we can keep ourselves clean and sober.

So we learn to stay away from slippery places and slippery people. We know we are always just one step away from relapse. We have learned how are wills, uncontrolled, will always look for shortcuts to happiness. When our contact with our Higher Power is weak, we begin to listen to the voices that call us back into the dark days before the Program. Our minds play tricks on us. They only let us remember the true and beautiful moments, not the dark and ugly days and nights before the Program.

I will stay clear of slippery people and places.

************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.

~ The Talmud ~

As we look at our own life history and begin to under-stand how we reached this point, we have to examine what was passed on to us by our parents and then realize that they were doing the best they could with what they had been given. We talk about the chain of trans-mission through generations who had problems with addictions and codependency. Many of us know that we want to break that chain so that our children don’t inherit the negative patterns.

How do we break the chain of generation after generation of addiction and abuse? We become the best father we know how to be. We develop genuine relationships with our children, letting them truly know us; we tell them about our lives and listen to them talk about their lives. It isn’t all about discipline; it’s about having a bond and being honest in telling our children that we love and care for them. Certainly setting limits and being consistent are important tenets, but the most important thing a father can give his child is letting his child know him.

Today I will be engaged with my child in a genuine and open relationship.

************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The Twelve Steps have powerfully guided me from just surviving to living.

~ Elizabeth Farrell ~

All questions can be answered and all conflicts resolved through our reliance on the Twelve Steps. Every relationship we have, no matter how insignificant, is enhanced when we accept the Twelve Steps as our philosophy for daily living. What powerful tools we have at our disposal!

The irony, of course, is that we resist using these Steps on occasion. We’d rather be miserable some days, resentful toward bosses or lovers. Or we’d rather be obsessed with controlling a friend, even when our friend clearly wants, and will get, her own way! We mar our journey, give up real living, because we revert to our old selves.

What a blessing our program friends are at times like these. Their questions about our behavior can jolt us into awareness of how far we have strayed from the Steps that safeguard our journey.

I survived many experiences and lots of pain before getting clean and sober. Yet I want more than survival now; I want a real life. The Steps are my guide today.

************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have a dual disorder

I don’t want to admit it, but my therapist is right: I have a dual disorder. I’ve used street drugs and alcohol (although I’m clean and sober now), and for the past several months, I have felt depressed, guilty, and exhausted most of the time. I’ve been sleeping more than usual. I am losing weight. I fact, I’m losing interest in my world.

My dual disorder is very hard to accept. It still scares me to admit it. And yet, in a way, I feel better admitting to these problems. Maybe it’s because I’m no longer lying to myself, telling myself these problems aren’t problems. Maybe it’s because I now stop fighting and get some relief. And maybe it’s because I can now work on recovery instead of covering up.

I will tell my therapist that I am ready to accept my addiction and emotional problems.

***********************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

To be powerless is to be empowered.

~ Jerry K. ~

“Empowerment” — what a powerful word — what a scary idea! Some days we can’t get “out of the driver’s seat.” We feel frustrated and helpless. Other days we find it easy to admit we’re powerless, and instantly feel ourselves becoming more powerful. We find we can make decisions in our lives. We can do it!

But we can’t do it alone. This life of recovery is a “we” proposition. We need to involve other recovering people in our lives. We need to become acquainted with a Higher Power. Together, we will be able to make good decisions and be directed to do His will — the next right thing.

The challenge is to learn we can’t change other people, places, or things. But we can play an important role in life’s plan if we open ourselves up to the guidance and love of the recovering community and our Higher Power.

Today help me trust in my Higher Power and open myself up to the “we” of my fellow recovering friends.

************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it . . . lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again . . . but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

~ Mark Twain ~

Think about a time when you became sick after eating something. How soon after you felt better did you choose to eat the same thing? Maybe it was weeks, months—or perhaps you have never eaten it again. Your experience convinced you to avoid that food, even though it may have been harmless.

Abstinence from your addiction does not necessarily translate into abstinence from all of the things associated with it. You may have engaged in your addiction at par-ties, but that does not mean you can never attend another party or that you can no longer go out with friends and have a good time. A former habit of gambling on sports does not mean you can never enjoy watching another game.

While it is important to make choices that support your need to be free of your addiction, be sure that the choices you make are not too all-encompassing.

I will reflect on what experience has taught me to make choices that will be inclusive, rather than exclusive.

************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Sometimes the readiness to be sorry can appear in a flash of insight; other times it may cost a sleepless night or a long sulk. Either way, you’ve got to go through the process.

~ Laurence Shames ~

Making amends – admitting a wrong or apologizing to someone – is never easy. If we are not ready, it really doesn’t accomplish much. ln order for us to become willing to make an amend, we need to do some work.

We need to feel our way through anger, bitterness, or guilt. We need to recognize and try to put aside our ego issues. We need to become ready to shift from a defensive, battle-ready position to one that is open and honest and sincere.

Sometimes a good night’s sleep will help us through even the most difficult of amends. The time spent in quiet rest may help energize us and give us courage and strength to effectively communicate out amends without traces of leftover negative feelings.

Tonight I can let rest and quiet contemplation prepare me to make an amend.

************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Working for peace of mind

To stay clear of mood-altering chemicals, we must keep our thoughts close to our Higher Power. If we stay close, we will know peace but not necessarily leisure.

The work of recovery is hard, but our rewards are many and much more lasting than the immediate gratification we sought in the past.

Am I finding peace of mind?

Higher Power, help me stay close to you and remember why I must work on my recovery.

Three ways I can work for peace of mind today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Try this bracelet: if it fits you, wear it; but if it hurts you, throw it away no matter how shiny.

~ KENYAN PROVERB ~

Newcomer

I hear some people in meetings who talk about having strict sponsors and doing everything “by the book.” There are others who say that they follow the suggestions more loosely. I heard one person say that she “sort of got recovery by osmosis”—she’s only dimly aware that she’s been applying a particular Step to a situation in her life. I don’t know if all this diversity is such a good thing.

Sponsor

Diversity is a fact of life in recovery. We come in many shapes and sizes, and from many different backgrounds and histories. It stands to reason that our paths in recovery aren’t going to be carbon copies of one another. We share the desire for recovery and the willingness to work at it. Though we do have addiction in common, methods of recovery may vary. One size definitely doesn’t fit all.

Some of us crave a great deal of structure and feel insecure without it. Some feel safer being told exactly what action to take, when, and how. Others rebel against overly detailed directions, feeling safe only if we sense we’re being given room to make our own mistakes. We’re intuitively drawn to people who have what we want, whose paths offer the combination of supportiveness and challenge that feels appropriate to our own needs. If our preferred way hasn’t been working, we may need to try switching for a while to a stricter or looser approach.

Today, I trust my experience and gut feelings about what will strengthen my recovery most effectively.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It was very hard for us alcoholics to realize that God has a big world on His hands and that He has other chores than just to give us rain and sunshine when we want sunshine. We always thought the Universe revolved around us.

That He knows His job is evidenced by the regular return of days and seasons, by His distribution of weather in such a manner that the world has never been devoid of food Think what chaos would exist if He had allowed us to run it our way.

God has given us many controls over Nature, but He knows the limits of human intelligence and the extent of human selfishness.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) When you’re filled with regrets of yesterday and worries about tomorrow, you’ve lost today in which to be grateful.

2) From Narcotic’s Obvious to Narcotic’s Anonymous.

3) Highs are short lived. Serenity is a long-distance runner.

************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Fourth Step Prayer

Dear God,
It is I who have made my life a mess.
I have done it and I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a searching and fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs, but I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PEACE OF SOUL

Peace I leave you, my peace I give unto you… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27)

The true, interior soul-peace was known to the mystics as serenity, and they are never tired of telling us that serenity is the grand passport to the Presence of God—the sea as smooth as glass that is round about the Great White Throne. This is not to say that one cannot tackle even the most serious difficulties by prayer without having any serenity at all. But before you can make any true spiritual progress you must achieve serenity; and it is that fundamental tranquility of the soul that Jesus refers to as the word peace—the peace that passes all human understanding.

The Peacemakers are those who bring about this peace in their own souls; they surmount limitation and become actually, not merely potentially, the children of God. This condition is the objective at which Jesus aims.

Of course, to be a peacemaker in the usual sense of composing quarrels of other people is an excellent thing, as all practical people know, an excessively difficult role to fill. But once you understand the power of prayer, you will be able to heal many quarrels in the true way; probably without speaking at all. The silent thought of the All-Power of Love and Wisdom will cause the trouble to melt almost imperceptibly. You will become a peacemaker.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Scars into Stars

Every minus is half a plus, waiting for a stroke of vertical awareness.

~ Alan Cohen ~

On a shoestring budget of $150, Jim opened a clothing store with some sundry garments. Soon after the store opened, a wealthy woman came in to browse and soon walked out, complaining, “This place is nothing but a bunch of odds and ends.” Her phrase rang like a bell in Jim’s head, and he decided that that description would make a good name and theme for his store. He had a sign painted, proclaiming “Odds and Ends,” and set out on an advertising campaign with that motif. After a number of years, Jim owned five successful Odds and Ends stores, and eventually sold them for $475,000.

What seems to be a setback or an insult may be a gift from the universe, pointing you in a direction of greater good. When a phrase or idea resonates within you, it is probably the voice of Spirit trying to get your attention to act upon it.

Think and act as if everything that shows up in your field of consciousness is for your good. Imagine there is only one power—love— and it is the force behind every experience. Even if something seems painful or insulting in the moment, use it as raw material with which to grow. Even repulsive manure is good fertilizer, when put in its proper place and recycled for the farmer’s purpose.

Today let me recognize Your voice behind every voice.
Help me to take Your signs and signals and build a life of beauty and abundance.

I receive the word of God and use it to grow my life.

[bluidkiti]

April 5

Step by Step

Today, live just for today. While I cannot and should not ignore my past, I don’t live there anymore, nor can I bring into today yesterday’s regrets and guilt that no longer serve any useful purpose. Nor can I look into tomorrow and anticipate or fret over its uncertainty and if it will bring something I may not want to deal with. To the extent that my past has any use today, it is to learn from its mistakes so they are not repeated. As for tomorrow, what I might anticipate may never come – and I will have wasted today dreading what isn’t there. Bit if it comes, I will deal with it in its own time – tomorrow. Today requires my immediate attention. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

INTOLERANCE

I’m slipping when I accept certain faults in myself, but I don’t accept them in other people.

~ Anonymous ~

Our Fellowship can pull good deeds out of people who have normally acted badly. Our Steps suggest ways to greatly change our behavior.

We are careful to separate what we say we are going to do and what we actually do. When we go to meetings and start talking about what wonderful things we are going to do rather than sharing what we have already done, we roll up our sleeves and get to work, because we have a lot to learn. Our friends and sponsor can suggest ways of getting started.

The Fellowship doesn’t want to hear sermons or judgements on past behavior. That’s what happens when we judge ourselves and others and talk about how we’re going to change everybody and everything. We can’t just “talk the talk.” We need to “walk the walk.”

I don’t want to judge anybody, including myself. Let me learn to be forgiving and tolerant.

************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.

~ John Bunyan ~

Prayer starts with openness in our heart and with self-honesty. We don’t sit down to ask special favors from God to achieve our ego’s rewards. We quiet our mind. For a brief time we release all the particular details, the worries and tasks that have been rushing in on us. In this quiet space we consciously focus our attention on our relationship with our Higher Power. This is a very private, personal relationship which is known intimately only by us. Even our search for this relationship, even the question, “Where are you, God?” is a prayer.

This healing journey has two aspects. One aspect is fellowship with others, the healing of our separation from our fellow men. The other aspect is a deeply private relationship with our Higher Power. When we have spent some quiet time in prayer, echoes of that prayer stay with us in the back of our mind, no matter how busy and focused we become on our daily tasks.

Today I open my heart with honesty to my Higher Power.

************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Loving, like prayer, is a power as well as a process. It’s curative.

~ Zona Gale ~

We tend to focus on ourselves too much. While we don’t strive to be self-centered, we easily achieve it. And the more we obsess about ourselves, the less we measure up to our expectations. Then the shame of failure dogs our steps.

We can attack this condition from two angles. First, we can acknowledge our gratitude for even the tiniest of blessings: a reliable car, an inspiring book, a call from a friend. These small blessings help us to remember that God is always present. Second, we can intentionally focus our attention on the people we share today with. They are in our lives for a purpose. We can learn from them what we need to know about ourselves. What’s more, we can be certain they are blessings from God.

My life is filled with the evidence that I am lovable. God has not forgotten me. Everywhere I look today, I’ll see a gift.

************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am listening to my higher power

I used to fear being alone in a room. It was especially frightening if I was me and my thoughts – no drugs or alcohol, no books or TV.

But in recovery, I have been learning a way to be by myself: it’s called meditation. I go to my quiet place, get comfortable, and then I stop. Thoughts pass through my mind and I hold on to none of them; I let them come and I let them go. And as my thoughts get quieter, I hear my higher power like never before. When meditating, I feel calmer and more accepting.

I will set aside five minutes today to sit quietly in a quiet place.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Friends are treasures.

~ Horace Bruns ~

Valuing our friends, we come to value our-selves. Accepting and enjoying the goodness of special people in our lives is an adventure in getting to know the depth of our own hearts. Friends teach us about our own capacity to care for and love other human beings.

We stretch our own goodness by listening to a troubled friend when we’re tired. We grow when we go out of our way to give our friend a ride when their car breaks down. We cherish another and ourselves when we find a card to send on an anniversary. We learn acceptance when we love others in spite of their failings and remind them of their special value when they feel guilty or down.

For many of us, being vulnerable and receiving friendship might be the best gift we can give. It can also be the most difficult. As with other problems in recovery, though, we find patience can be the solution. When we extend our patience and tolerance to others, we find a new inner calm and serenity. And we feel more worthy of love. Learning to be a friend is a two- way street that challenges us to love, and to let others love and care for us.

Today let me enjoy the wonder of friendship.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.

~ Judith Martin ~

A comedian tells a story about a dying man who calls his wife to his side. “Honey, I have something to confess,” he tells her. “For many years I have not been faithful to you. I needed to tell you that before I died.” The wife smiles down at him. “Baby, I know you have not been faithful to me.”

“You knew?” the man asks. “Yes,” she replies. “That is why I have poisoned you.”

As laudable as honesty is, it does have a downside. The truth can be hurtful and even harmful. Before you choose to be honest with another, first consider whether your words will make only you feel better. Do you need to say something simply to get it off your chest, or will you convey helpful information for the person receiving the information? When you think before you speak, you may discover that leaving something unsaid might be the best option. But if you are confronted with a direct question, it is best to answer with honesty even if the truth may end up hurting the other person. Lying will not serve you well if, in the future, the truth comes out.

I will be honest with others, but will temper my honesty with compassion.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe

~ Larry Eisenberg ~

How much did we try to control today? Perhaps on our way to work we shouted in frustration at how other people drove. Later we may have attempted to control our boss, co-workers, bank teller, children, or spouse, telling them to do what we wanted. Perhaps now we’re ready to collapse in exhaustion from a day of trying to be director of everyone else’s play.

Instead of managing everyone else, we should be managing only ourselves. First we have to catch ourselves when we feel the urge to control others. We have to discover what is best for us, instead of someone else, and do it. We have to stop focusing on people’s problems, even if they want us to. We have to look in the mirror and see ourselves for who we are.

Tonight we need to realize our director is our Higher Power who gives us the play we’re in and the ability to act. Although many other people may share the stage with us, it’s not up to us to direct them. They have their own direction.

I asked my Higher Power for direction, and I will not control others.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Unlearning old ways

In this program we are not asked so much to learn new ways as to unlearn our old ones. We are not asked so much to adjust to new values as to see the folly of our old ones. How we will live our new lives is between us and our Higher Power, and surely there is room for diversity.

We are not asked to adopt the lifestyles or thinking of fellow addicts; we are asked only to live with honesty, an open mind, and a willingness to learn. We all use the program for sobriety, but what sobriety and a spiritual program lead us to is individual.

Am I unlearning the futile old ways?

Higher Power, may the way of life I am now living help me let go of old ways and grow closer to you.

The old habit I will work at releasing today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Through prayer we may lose some of our arrogance and resistance.

~ OH SHINNAH ~

Newcomer

I’ve struggled with this addiction for so long. I think I’m finally ready to defeat it. I really want to do it right this time.

Sponsor

The program saying “The war is over” comes to mind when I hear you talking about struggle and defeat. In my experience, addiction doesn’t respond well to force. In fact, it counters force with a force of its own. Addiction is stubborn. When we approach it with “white-knuckle” discipline, confusing willfulness with strength of character, we may be setting ourselves up for eventual relapse.

The alternative is an attitude of surrender. I begin each day acknowledging that I have a disease. I ask for help in living with it, not acting on it. I use the tools of the program and the support of the fellowship, replacing old habits with new ones that help maintain recovery. I used to keep the paraphernalia of my addictive life around me; now I keep reminders of recovery around me. I approach recovery with enthusiasm, gratitude, joy. If I feel the urge to fight, I know it’s time for a meeting. Recovery is a journey I pray to continue, with the help of my Higher Power—one day at a time.

Today, I humbly ask for recovery to be given to me.
I don’t have to do it alone.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You can eat yourself to death as quickly as you can drink yourself to death. Working unreasonable overtime will bring on extreme fatigue that you may think “necessitates” a stimulant.

Too much zeal is fanaticism and Twelve Stepping without due regard to your own welfare can land you in trouble up to your neck.

Easy does it.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) We all have the same last name, “Alcoholic!”

2) HIT: Hang In There

3) Action alleviates anxiety.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Fifth Step Prayer

Higher Power, my inventory has shown me who I am, yet I ask for Your help in admitting my wrongs to another person and to You. Assure me, and be with me in this Step, for without this Step I cannot progress in my recovery. With Your help, I can do this, and I will do it.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

REJOICE IN PERSECUTION

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you (Matthew 5:10-12).

In view of what we know about the teaching of Jesus, that the will of God for us is harmony, peace, and joy, and that these things are to be attained by cultivating right thoughts, or “righteousness,” this is a very startling statement. Jesus tells us again and again that it is our Father’s good pleasure to give us the Kingdom, and that the way in which we are to receive it is by cultivating serenity, or peace of soul. He says that the peacemakers who do this, praying in “meekness” shall inherit the earth, have their mourning turned into joy, and that, in fact, whatever they shall ask the Father in the manner of this teaching, that will he do. Yet here we are told that it is blessed to be persecuted as the result of our “righteousness” for by this means we shall triumph; that it is cause for rejoicing and gladness to be reviled and accused; and that the prophets and Illumined Ones suffered these things too.

All this is indeed very startling, and it is perfectly correct. However, persecution only becomes an occasion for rejoicing when we are deeply aware of our real nature, our true immortality, and know that the suffering of our bodies can be transcended and even transmuted by our state of consciousness. Persecution can be for us a blessed condition when we realize that in such moments we are really advancing…be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life (Revelation 2:10) is a promise that may become a reality right here on this earth.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Divine Discontent

Lord, let me always desire more than I think I can do.

~ Michelangelo ~

There is a part of us that will not let us be content until we become all that we are capable of being. Life is not about resting on our laurels and hanging out in our comfort zone; it is an adventure from good to better to best.

Rev. Jack Boland urged, “Do not let good be the enemy of better.” Your current situation may be good, but if a greater opportunity presents itself, you must be open to expand. This does not mean you are to run away or violate your integrity. If, however, you can step ahead with honesty, honor, and peace, you will enjoy the benefits of living in a larger universe.

Muscles stay strong and flexible only by use and stretching, and so does our mind. Challenge is the universe’s way of showing us that we are bigger than we thought we were.

Bless your dreams, your desires, and your sense that there must be more. There is more because you are more.

Give me the courage to ask for it all.

I leave behind my limits and step forward to live as large as God.

[bluidkiti]

April 6

Step by Step

Today, gratitude for the freedom that I have found in sobriety and that the physical and emotional sickness of active drinking exists no more. Drunk, I had no choice but to feel bad physically, mentally and spiritually. I had no choice but to do everything my way because there was no other way. I had no choice but to lie, if even sporadically, to hide or dodge the consequence of some misdeed. I had no choice but to feel self-loathing, pity, shame and guilt because I didn’t know there could be something better. Sober, I have the choice to feel good instead of bad. I have the choice to understand my way isn’t always the best and seek the guidance of something stronger. I have the choice not to lie because I don’t have to anymore. I have the choice to let go of self-deprecation because I have the beginning of a worthy self-image. Today, in sobriety, I have the freedom not to be jailed in the physical, emotional and spiritual cell of intoxication and, God granting, my path to freedom is built on the 12 Steps. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHARACTER

Character is what you are in the dark.

~ Dwight L. Moody~

We’re not born with character. We have to build it through patience, self-esteem, and humility. Character is never revealed by what we think or say. No matter how wise our thoughts or our words may be sometimes. Character is what we are underneath all the layer of our defences that we show the world.

Character is an outer show of an inner glow that reaches others or pleases ourselves. It is a reserve force for all of us. Its usefulness goes beyond talent. Its greatest energy comes from personal relations with others.

Character permits us to welcome healthy criticism. It is a force that respects truth and develops will and spirit. It is positive. It stresses action and makes all of these clear to others

Let me examine my character and develop it with patience, self-esteem, and humility.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To age with dignity and with courage cuts close to what it is to be a man.

~ Roger Kahn ~

The healing journey requires courage. We are walking a path that is somewhat off the mainstream. We seek to become better men, better friends, better intimate partners, and better fathers. We seek to grow out of our self-centeredness to be more generous and caring. It takes courage to give up the pursuit of greater and greater control, to give up the empty pursuit of happiness through more material possessions. Courage comes forward when we refuse to use our old escapes and accept our problems so we can deal with them.

Nothing is so bad that it can’t be talked about. When we choose a trustworthy friend to tell our truth to, we see our situation from new angles. We can then have a dialogue with our friend and within ourselves that leads to a new outlook and new solutions. This kind of connection with other men creates new integrity within ourselves and gives us genuine dignity.

Today I will continue to have courage on my journey of healing.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We can say yes to life even at its darkest moments if we can see it as part of the greater reality.

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

We glimpse only the opportunities that bear our name during any experience. We have heard many times in this program that we are never given more than we can handle. We can trust that this is true. We have also heard that God tells us only what we need to know right now; the rest will come to us when we are ready, when the time is right. That too we can count on as truth.

It goes without saying, then, that every moment’s experience is part of the bigger design for our lives, a design that always has a positive outcome. If we feel scared or confused by the changes in our lives, it’s only because we have forgotten that God is in charge of the plan for our lives. We can say yes and be at peace.

I know that what comes to me today is a tiny part of God’s big plan for my life. I am not alone.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel a new emotion: joy

When I was using and having symptoms, it was even hard for me to walk with anyone. I felt too fragile. I feared I would not be understood or accepted. In my struggle, I further isolated myself.

But all that has changed. These days I feel a new freedom. I am sober and stable. My medication is helping (and I can deal with the minor side effects). I feel cared for by my sponsor and therapist. I trust them. In fact, I look forward to my next meetings, where I can talk about my new sense of joy. To me, it seems like a new and wonderful word: joy.

I will say a prayer of thanks to my higher power and share my joy.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If the only prayer you say in your life is “thank you,” that would suffice.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

Sincere gratitude is the only attitude that always lifts our spirits. Being grateful for the good things in life can pick us up on days when we seem to be speeding downhill.

Gratitude restores and heals because it lets us stand outside our own small circle of worry to view the bigger picture. It puts us in touch with our Higher Power and the wide-angle view of life. In the light of eternity, how important is our problem of the moment?

Finding something to be grateful for and saying “thank you” gives us hope and a better understanding of our blessings and resources. Some days we may find little to be grateful for, so we start with small things. We start with the ability to get up in the morning and go to bed at night, flowers, sunsets, and the scent of the earth. If we are willing, we will always find an abundance of things to be grateful for.

Today let me cultivate an attitude of gratitude and hope for my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say that I felt younger at sixty than I had felt at twenty.

~ Ellen Glasgow ~

The aging process has been described as a “slippery slope,” “all downhill from here,” and “the beginning of the end.” But such phrases are not necessarily negative. Imagine that the slippery slope represents an ascent rather than a descent. Climbing to the top of a vista enables a much clearer view. So perhaps aging can be seen as a time to rise up and see all that is around you.

“It’s all downhill from here” can represent a time of smooth sailing—one that is free from the anxiety, in-experience, and confusion of youth, when you experience life with less angst and greater gusto. “It’s the beginning of the end” can offer a time for new opportunities and challenges. As one decade of your life draws to a close, a new decade opens up before you.

There are those who, as they age, seem to fade away and others who seem to have more spring in their step and a brighter twinkle in their eyes. You are, as another phrase conveys, “Only as old—or as young—as you feel.”

I will not act my age or behave in ways that others think I should. I will embrace my years with a positive outlook.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.

~ Vittorio Alfieri ~

‘Against all odds” is an apt phrase for survival despite the worst conditions. For those of us who have lived in an alcoholic home or with abuse or emotional starkness or poverty or handicap, it has been courageous for us to survive despite the difficulties. Yet many times we may feel it would be easier to give up.

But isn’t courage survival – despite the odds? When we listen to the stories of our program’s members, we need to think of each person as courageous. To live is to grow. To grow well is to strengthen our faith. To have faith is to see beyond ourselves to the completeness of life and our part in it. To be a part of life is to accept what we have and strive to bring what we want into it. To do so is to survive by using the beautiful tools that give us life: hope, faith, and trust.

I am grateful for all I have survived and all I will survive because of my trust and faith in a Higher Power.

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

… and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own.

~ MARY OLIVER ~

Newcomer

I’m royally confused. At one meeting I hear people say how important psychotherapy is; at another, I hear people say that it’s bad—all you need is the Twelve Steps. A speaker I heard mentioned antidepressant drugs and how they’ve changed her life; meanwhile, the man next to me was muttering that that’s not a sober thing to do. I’m wondering what I should do. Maybe I need more than just this program.

Sponsor

The program doesn’t offer professional or scientific advice. Instead, we share our experiences: what got us here, how we’ve stayed clean and sober so far. Once we’ve established new habits in place of old ones, it’s perfectly appropriate to assess our individual needs. Some of us have medical, financial, or legal problems. A few have severe emotional problems. Some of us choose to seek professional help. For me, just plain recovery—staying away from substances one day at a time—had to come first; without it, I couldn’t begin to address the ways I’d neglected my health and well-being. Surprisingly, some of the decisions I struggled hardest with eventually became clear and simple.

As your process of recovery continues, you’ll gain confidence in your intuition and judgment. Many questions that are causing you to experience conflict today will resolve themselves easily in time.

Today, I set controversial questions aside while I learn to stay sober.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Can you imagine a state of mind absolutely free of fear? It is extremely hard for us who have had Fear, Worry and Uncertainty as constant companions most of our lives. To attain such a state of mind is only possible where there is complete Faith in God. Somehow, too, it would appear that it would mean complete faith in our fellow man and in ourselves.

Maybe this is too much to expect but you can try to cultivate more faith day by day and as you do, you will find more and more peace of mind and less and less worry, fear and uncertainty. It works.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Detox: Spin Dry

2) Write a gratitude list and count your blessings.

3) If you lose, you lose.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Sixth Step Prayer

Dear God,

I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character which I now realize are obstacles to my recovery. Help me to continue being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental health.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TEMPLE OF SOLOMON

GOLD

We know that the spiritual consciousness which we are all engaged in building is spoken of in the Bible as the Temple of Solomon. The name Solomon means peaceful, and symbolizes wisdom. This is logical, for peace of mind is the foundation of all spiritual building, the hallmark of understanding.

The Bible states five things were to be found around the temple—for the king had at sea a navy of Tharshish with the navy of Hiram,: once in three years came the navy of Tharshish, bringing gold, and silver, ivory, and apes, and peacocks (1 Kings 10:22)

This scriptural manner of telling us that there are five principal temptations that may come to the soul that is striving to build the spiritual temple. The particular form that each temptation takes will vary according to the soul that is striving to build the spiritual temple. the particular form that each temptation takes will vary according to the temperament and circumstances of the subject, but in principle will be the same.

First comes the gold, and this stands for personal power over other people, the desire to regulate lives, to make them toe the line—our line, naturally—and even to make use of them. Many people on the spiritual path have given way to this temptation. They must dominate other people’s souls. They tell themselves that it is being done for the good of the victims, of course, but it is really a craving for personal power and glorification. It is not an ignoble sin like that connected with the silver, but for that very reason it is far more dangerous, far-searching, and enduring.

The thing that gold symbolizes when rightly understood is the omnipresence of God; and of course religious tyranny is a denial of this. You should do all you can to help, to enlighten, and to inspire others, as far as your own understanding will permit, but you must never try to dictate their convictions; or to hold to your own opinions. Religious tyranny is poisonous to the victims; but it is absolutely mortal to the tyrant.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Reading Skills

The quality of mercy is not strained; it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven.

~ William Shakespeare ~

I approached the desk anxiously and handed the tickets to the reservations agent. We needed to change our airline tickets at the last minute, and they were clearly marked “non-changeable, non-refund- able.” While waiting in line, I had considered various excuses, but decided to just go with the truth.

“We would like to delay our return several days,” I explained. “My friend needs to stop in Los Angeles, and I need to stay here in San Francisco.” The agent studied the tickets and went into the computer record. After a few moments, he told us, “This record says that these tickets cannot be changed.” My heart tightened. “It says here that if you want to make these changes, it will cost you an extra $900.” Whoa. Then he looked at me and smiled. “But I’m not a very good reader. I don’t see why you should have to pay all of that.” He issued me a new ticket with my desired date and gave my partner a free ticket to Los Angeles. “Have a nice flight,” he added.

Sitting on the airplane, tears welled up in my eyes. That man didn’t have to be so kind. He could have quoted chapter and verse and enforced the extra payment penalty. But he didn’t. I began to consider the situations in which I might give someone a similar gift by reducing my reading skills, or overlooking what the rules said in favor of mercy and forgiveness. I remembered Jesus telling the Pharisees that they were caught up in every jot and tittle of the law while completely overlooking the spirit.

Take a few moments to consider your reading skills. Whose day or life could you brighten by letting go of punishing laws and extending a little extra kindness? As you release, so will you be released.

Help me to grow beyond smallness. Inspire me to show mercy.
Help me to overlook and forgive, that I may be forgiven.

My acts of mercy build a forgiving world.

[bluidkiti]

April 7

Step by Step

“Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.” – The Fifth Tradition

Today, ask if I am a positive contributor to my home group’s mission as commanded in the Fifth Tradition, or if I fail and even bring dissension and division to my group. There is little to interpret in the Third Tradition that the only requirement of an individual member is “a desire to stop drinking.” Carrying that into the Fifth Tradition, I need to work on any hidden prejudices against individuals to the point that I impose my own “requirements” on them. Have I ever been guilty of talking critically or gossiping about a member because of his gender, religion, socioeconomic class, sexual orientation or gone so far as to doubt or challenge his claim to length of sobriety or moral inventory? If I have, I have breached the Fifth Tradition and, in so doing, I have perverted the Steps and Traditions into something they are not intended to be. Today, I will work with and not against and do what is required – “carry (the) message to the alcoholic who still suffers.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SEXUALITY

Our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

~ Alcoholics Anonymous ~

What comes from our higher power is to be honoured and treated with respect. Our sexuality has unlimited potential for good. We have so often turned this power in on ourselves and been destroyed by it, or allowed it to destroy others.

The Steps let us change our feelings our feelings about sex so that these new feelings can encourage wholesome relationships. When we walk with our Higher Power, our self-will doesn’t run riot over our sex lives. Our spiritual awakening washes over all our relationships, even our most tender and personal.

We gain a new sense of respect. We learn we can love deeply. We find that sexuality is a powerful, life-giving force that enriches, bonds, and commits us to a special person. We no longer have to face remorse and guilt from uncontrolled desires.

May I rediscover the joy in my God-given sexuality by treating myself and others with honor and respect.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.

~ Hebrews 13:2 ~

Recovery is a very democratic thing. No matter how far down a man has fallen, no matter how bad his life choices have been or how much he has given up for his addiction and codependency, he deserves our basic human respect. We all are created in the image of God. There is something of God within everyone.

When we go to our meetings, we meet many kinds of people. Some of them we have more in common with than others. Some of them we will feel closer to than others. But we are all creatures of the universe and we are all equally loved by God. We may feel critical of someone’s behavior, but ultimately we are called to respect everyone as fellow human beings seeking a path through life.

Today I accept the love of God and pledge to show respect to everyone I meet.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We are likely to blunder from one crisis to another if we haven’t learned to act responsibly.

~ Jan Pishok ~

Before we got clean and sober, we lived in perpetual crisis. Few situations unfolded exactly as we planned. We generally overreacted, and repeated crises were born. But no more, as long as we utilize the principles of this program. Acting responsibly means being in charge of our thoughts and our attitudes, which will avert the crises.

Surely adult women like us don’t have a problem being responsible! But alas, that’s not always the case. In years past, we seldom did the right thing. Now we may flirt with disaster because we let the addict loose in our heads. The tools we’ve learned from our sisters in this program can get us back on track, but we have to want to steer the right course. No one plucks thoughts from our mind or pushes ones in that we don’t want. We’re in charge, so let’s accept the challenge.

Acting responsibly is no harder than I choose to make it today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning it’s OK to cry

I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I know I’ve been blue for a while now, but I have always felt better sooner or later. These days, when my mood picks up, it is short lived. Soon, I’m weeping again. I’m afraid, and I feel like I’m losing control.

I called my therapist about this again and got some reassurance. I need to keep reminding myself of her message: It’s OK to cry. It’s part of healing. While it can be frightening to feel so deeply and to feel such deep pain, the feeling alone won’t hurt me.

I will make a flash card that reads, “It’s OK to cry and feel the pain.”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If you are willing to open yourself to the miracles of each day, each day toill be a miracle.

~ Katherine L. ~

The morning light trips into the room and gently warms us. Slowly, we return from the world of dreams and begin a new day. How can we doubt that there is a Power greater than ourselves? Each day, there are a multitude of little miracles that remind us — if we take the time to notice.

During recovery we learn to wrap our minds around the idea of a Higher Power. It truly is an awakening, a “coming to,” after years of fog and blackouts. Our grandiose, self-centered life was like a dream. Then sobriety, a gift from God, slowly crept into our world. Very much like waking from sleep, we began to open our eyes, see the real world, and open ourselves to the joys and opportunities that awaited.

Now that we have been awakened, we need to keep our eyes open, to listen to the direction and guidance from this Power greater than ourselves. The answers are there if we’re willing to stop, look, and listen. We feel these answers every day.

Today help me look at the miracles around me, especially in Twelve Step meetings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Solitary shots should be ignored, but when they come from several directions, it’s time to pay attention. As someone once said, “If one calls you a donkey, ignore him. If two call you a donkey, check for hoof prints. If three call you a donkey, get a saddle

~ Marshall Shelley ~

You may have grown up in a home where a parent frequently said, “You’re stupid” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” But did every single person in your life—all of your family members, your teachers, your neighbors, and your friends—say the same things? Chances are the negative messages came from one or two sources.

Such negative statements, especially from people whose acceptance and approval are important to you, can have a lasting impact. But remember, such statements do not define who you are unless you let them. Chances are those saying such things have low self-esteem and feel more comfortable by criticizing you than by taking a look in the mirror.

Focus on doing things to help you feel better about yourself. Work toward strengthening a healthy level of self-esteem so you are better able to prevent outside influences from shaping or dictating how you feel.

I will not adopt negative messages. I will not give them the power to define who I am or to destroy who I am becoming.

Each morning the day lies like a fresh shirt on our bed.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I have to laugh at the times I’ve knocked myself out over a tough spot only to find out afterwards there was an easier way through.

~ Robert Franklin Leslie ~

We receive messages throughout the day that tell us ways of doing things. The door to the store says “pull.” The red light tells us not to drive through the intersection. The cereal box says “lift tab and open.” Our car gas gauge tells us “empty.” With these messages, we are given the guidance on which to base our decisions.

We can choose not to pull the door. Then we’ll spend a lot of time and energy pushing until we finally read the sign. All that effort expended, just because we couldn’t stop to get some guidance!

The Twelve Steps offer guidance for an easier way through life. We don’t have to knock ourselves out over these Steps; all we have to do is follow the direction they give us.

How can I use the Steps to make my life easier?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Turning it over

It is true that if we turn our wills and our lives over to God, our problems will be lifted. It is easier to speak this truth than to live it.

Looking back, we see that following our own will has caused serious problems in our lives. Let’s give this truth a chance. Let’s pray, meditate, listen, and believe.

Am I turning it over?

God, help me to stop holding on so tight and to have faith.

Today I will turn my will over to God by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Surrender sooner.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

I’ve been working so hard to do everything I’m supposed to, in recovery and in the “real” world. But something in me wants to slow down, cry, and scream, maybe even collapse. The timing couldn’t be less convenient. I should have waited to come into recovery.

Sponsor

How much choice do we really have about timing, about when we enter recovery? Hitting bottom is a spiritual crisis; like any other crisis, we have to address it when it occurs. We don’t get to negotiate the terms. Similarly, we don’t get to choose the nature or timing of the emotions we experience. We can stop our tears, but not our grief. If we don’t try to resist or block feelings, they flow through us surprisingly quickly.

Falling down doesn’t mean we’ll never get up again. We may need to let some things fall apart before we can move on. Those of us who were brought up to believe that we should be able to manage several things simultaneously, ignore our personal needs, and come through every crisis with a smile may have trouble letting go of our old ideas. It’s okay to be imperfect in our recovery process. The sooner we let go, the better.

Today, I accept my Higher Power’s timetable for me.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many of us, when we get over the Big Trouble, whiskey, sit back complacently and begin to enjoy our sobriety.

To work the Program successfully, we must remember that whiskey is only the first. There are many other conflicts ahead and we must press on to successive victories over our many character defects to achieve a new way of living.

The conflict will never end until you arrive at perfection, or still more probably, the grave.

When you began to rest complacently on your oars, you will find your boat is drifting downstream.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) My expectations are inversely proportional to my serenity.

2) We are all special cases.

3) HOPE: Hang On, Peace Exists.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Seventh Step Prayer

My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do Your bidding.
Amen.

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TEMPLE OF SOLOMON – SILVER

Next comes the silver. This stands for greed of money or money’s worth, for material objects that can be bought, and even for riches themselves. Or it may be that the offender is not interested in riches themselves but in their ability to give him honor in the eyes of the world. He wants to be considered important and to have adulation or applause. Often he wants to be a “leader,” not because he has a message to give but to be important. He is the victim of egotism. Now this is a base and ignoble sin; an insurmountable barrier across the spiritual path.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while coveted after, they have erred from faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows (1 Timothy 6:10)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get Real

In a dream I saw myself as a great and colorful butterfly; now I am not sure if I am Chuang-Tsu dreaming I was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming I am Chuang-Tsu.

~ Chuang-Tsu, Chinese Patriarch ~

Over the past decade, the word real has come into vogue. Coca- Cola insists that it is “the real thing.” Our friends tell us to “get real.” Before entering into business ventures, we do a “reality check.” We can’t help avoiding the questions, “What is real?” and “Who is the real me?”

At the completion of nearly every one of my retreat programs, someone wistfully notes, “Too bad we have to go back to the real world now.”

I always respond by saying, “This is the real world. The world of loving, honest communication and genuine caring reflects our true identity much more than the world we usually call ‘real.’”

What world is real to you? The world that most people consider real is fraught with illusions. Money, fame, power, sex, and material security do not offer true reward and substance, they dissolve as soon as the tiniest light is shed on them. While the “real world” tells us that these commodities are worth living and dying for, those who have them are often desperate for love, relationships, communication, community, and peace of mind.

The real world is the world of kindness, caring, vision, and service. All of these qualities are attributes of our divine nature. As children of God, we can only be what God is, and that is everything that is good. We are born of light, and we return to the light. To live in light is to live in the real world.

Show me the real world. Let me not forget my nature and my origin.

I live in the real world of love.

[bluidkiti]

April 8

Step by Step

Today, absolute and unquestionable faith in a higher power that He will give me what I need when He, not I, decides when I should receive. I can reach into my yesterdays to cement my faith that, in my darkest days, I saw no hope but was delivered from active alcoholism and the damage to others. But it was only when I “admitted (I am) powerless” and “came to believe” that I began to emerge from the alcoholic fog and only when I reached the point when I was able to begin to live as an alcoholic in recovery. Today, sober, if I am anxious, angry, frustrated or resentful that I do not have what I think I deserve or need, let me be reminded that it was only when I was taken to the point of hopelessness that my higher power delivered me. And in recovery I’ve learned to be careful not to get what I wish for: I might get it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

WISDOM

He who would distinguish the true from the false must have an adequate idea of what is true and false.

~ Spinoza~

Wisdom is really no more than common sense. It will help us make the right choices in our attitudes and behavior. That way we can continue our spiritual progress.

Sometimes, wisdom is simple willingness to accept with faith the things we don’t know from personal experience. We must receive, with an open mind, the messages of those who have lived through the problems we are facing for the first time.

We need to look for and listen to the wisdom in others. If we do, we will gain confidence in our own ability to tell the true from the false. We will begin to practice the principles of our recovery program in all parts of our lives.

Wisdom is earned. Wisdom is precious. The wise need simply to stand in silence for their wisdom to reveal itself. Let me learn wisdom.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To “be” means to be related.

~ Alfred Korzybski ~

In our using and codependent days, loneliness was ever-present. We could be with a crowd but we felt alienated and alone. Many of us grew up in families where no one really knew how to feel close. We often longed for a closer connection with our fathers. As adult men we learned to be self-sufficient, and we thought it was always superior to be able to do something without help. If we got help to accomplish something, it was somehow not quite as good as if we did it alone.

Now we are part of a fellowship with other men and women who know what it’s like to be where we have been; they are on the same journey. We may have very different lives in some ways, but we have our common goal: to become better people. The true basis for our humanity, the real fulfillment of our potential, is in relationship with others. We no longer have to be locked in our isolated world. Through our friendships and our spiritual path we are free to be ourselves.

Today I am grateful for my friends.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Silence should be used sparingly. But used, nonetheless.

~ Stephanie Ericsson ~

When we want to control another’s actions, being quiet is difficult. Our ego screams to take charge! When we bite our tongue instead, remembering the Serenity Prayer, we are spared an unnecessary confrontation. Occasionally quieting our mouth, if not our mind, promises big payoffs in our relationships with others.

Silence wears many guises, however. We have all experienced the punishing silent treatment from lovers or friends. And our attempts to engage others in conversation are occasionally met with a silence that confuses us. Another’s quietness may not be easily understood, but we must accept it.

Silence, particularly our own, is requisite to receiving guidance from our Higher Power. Being silent is often the most valuable action we can take.

I will consider being silent each time an opportunity to respond offers itself today. Doing the right thing may well mean doing and saying nothing.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I must stay free of all addictive substances

I remember when I finally could admit I had a dual disorder – but was still afraid to stop using alcohol and street drugs. It meant I would have to go through withdrawal. It meant I couldn’t manage my emotions the way I used to. Even though it was my choice, I felt defenceless and angry.

Fortunately, I remembered to call my psychiatrist and get some support. First, he reassured me that if I needed it, he would help me weather withdrawal. Then he said he would help me find a Twelve Step meeting where I felt comfortable. He emphasized that abstinence is so important to recovery from a dual disorder: if I didn’t stop using, I could relapse to my addiction and perhaps to my psychiatric disorder as well. If I used while taking medication, I could cause serious medical problems. His knowledge and care helped me to remain stable by getting sober and staying sober.

I will find a Twelve Step meeting to attend today.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Peace, peace is what I seek, and public calm;
Endless extinction of unhappy hates.

~ Matthew Arnold ~

Anger is healthy, telling us something’s wrong with our world. But hate is anger out of control. When we hate, we can’t think clearly. All our attention is focused on the feelings and needs of the moment. The “big picture” is forgotten. All our senses are turned inward to our most primitive feelings and the needs of the moment. We’re blind to the pain of others and deaf to the words of others. Our minds can’t work well; messages are going out, but none are coming in. Hate is a dangerous state of being for us; we’re likely to lash out and say or do things that hurt another person. Some of these things we’ll regret later, and grieve over. Hate hurts others, and it hurts us too.

With our recovery program, we can learn to avoid the frustration and feelings of impotence that bring on hate. Prayer and meditation help the most. Contacting our Higher Power can help cool the feelings and bring peace and serenity. With His help, hate doesn’t have to keep burning in us, endangering other people and our own recovery. We can vent our anger honestly when it is appropriate. With His help, we can find calm and serenity.

Today help me understand my feelings. Help me keep anger small and tame, and avoid the fires of hatred.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The happiness of the next twenty-four hours depends upon our ability, on waking, to pick it up.

~ Walter Benjamin ~

At times you may need to look back and reflect upon your actions and behaviors of the past, or look ahead so you can develop goals for the future. But the only place where you truly exist is in the here and now.

To fully appreciate each day, begin by having few expectations. While it is important to consider what you need to do at work or at home, and to plan ahead to fulfill certain projects or responsibilities, strive to be flexible about how you expect the day to go. This will help alleviate disappointment from unmet expectations and make you more open to new discoveries.

Start your day with a prayer—one of thankfulness for the day’s beauty, freshness, and promise. Do what needs to be done to prepare for your day. Then head out the door in a positive frame of mind. Take on the day as if it were your last on earth. Embrace it fully. Live it fully. What lies ahead of you is a gift for you to unwrap and enjoy.

I will begin the day with a positive attitude and with an openness to experience all that lies ahead.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Each one of us has walked through storm and fled the wolves along the road; but here the hearth is wide and warm, and for this shelter and this light accept, O Lord, our thanks tonight.

~ Sara Teasdale ~

We made it through another day. Sometimes we may feel relief at this statement, other times disappointment, still other times peace.

Tonight we can be grateful for this day. This doesn’t mean just giving thanks or recognition for getting something we wanted. Being grateful means recognizing all the events and the people who came our way. It means seeing through disappointments or pain in order to gain understanding of its meaning in our lives. It means trusting everything that happened was given by our Higher Power. We can trust there was a reason for it all.
Giving thanks begins now. We can replay today’s events like a tape – watching, listening, and feeling. And at the end of the tape, we can thank our Higher Power for our day, for the people in it, and for the knowledge and experience we gained.

Thank you, Higher Power, for this day. I trust everything in my life today was a gift from You.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Keeping it simple

Keep it simple. What seems complex in our minds may not be complex in reality. We may not really be in the mess we think we are in. Serenity is available today if we accept today as it is, setting aside both yesterday and tomorrow. If we do what we need to do today, we will be in harmony and at peace.

What we need to be doing “out there” is right here, right now; it is as close as our spouse, children, job, and fellows in recovery. Am I keeping it simple?

Higher Power, help me let go of everything that interferes with simply doing what I need to be doing right now.

I will simplify my life today by tending to what is mine to do, right here, right now by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Never take anything for granted.

~ BENJAMIN DISRAELI ~

Newcomer

What is a “dry drunk”?

Sponsor

This expression may have first sprung up in AA. It’s used to describe one of us who is abstaining from the use of alcohol but isn’t thinking or behaving in a way that is sober. If we’re full of self-will, if we constantly blame and rage at others, if we’re controlled by our fears and resentments, we are prob-ably “on a dry drunk.” This expression might also be used to describe those of us with addictions other than alcohol when our lives are not sober. Our addictions are a package deal: certain attitudes and behaviors come with the compulsion to numb ourselves with particular substances or acts.

A “dry drunk” sometimes focuses on others and their addictive problems. Gossip, blame, argument, manipulative behavior, obsessive worrying, neglect of responsibilities— these are some common “dry drunk” behaviors. We may not be abusing a substance, but our attitudes and behavior qualify us as “dry drunks.”

Today, my participation in this program helps me to maintain physical, mental, and spiritual recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Look back, my friend, on the interminable nights of sweating, shaking, pacing the floor, praying for the dawn, yet dreading what the day would ring. That stretch in the “can” when “every day was like a year, a year whose days were long.” Days that lasted a lifetime and nights that lasted an eternity.

Those days and nights are gone, through the Grace of God, and now there are not enough hours in each day, not enough nights in each week and the span of life seems insufficient to accomplish the goals we have set for ourselves.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Action Not Distraction

2) Forgiveness detoxifies.

3) You can’t be grateful and hateful at the same time because you can’t serve two masters.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Eighth Step Prayer

Higher Power, I ask Your help in making my list of all those I have harmed.
I will take responsibility for my mistakes, and be forgiving to others just as You are forgiving to me.
Grant me the willingness to begin my restitution.
This I pray.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TEMPLE OF SOLOMON

IVORY, APES, AND PEACOCKS

Then comes the ivory. This stands for undue attachment to a particular textbook, or a particular church or other organization. It is a mistaken loyalty. It is an unselfish error, but a deadly one. Any religious teacher or writer, however eminent any church or center, however much beloved, is still but a means to an end. The end itself is spiritual growth.

Recognize with gratitude all the help you receive from any source, but remember that your loyalty is due to God, through your own spiritual development. You must feel free at any time to go wherever you get the most help, irrespective of personal considerations.

The ape stands for bodily temptations such as sensuality, addiction to drink, drugs and so forth. These things are so obvious that the victim cannot deceive himself about them, so that at least he knows where he stands. They can, of course, be overcome by systematic prayer.

The peacock stands for vanity. Vanity may take the form of intellectual pride, or of a snobbish attitude, or the desire to stand in with what is fashionable and powerful. It also includes spiritual pride on the part of those who really are in Truth, and this is worse than any of the other forms.

But thou, O man f God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness (1 Timothy 6:11)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

How Much Do You Want It?

Thy strength shall be according to the measure of thy desire.

~ Arab proverb ~

A young man came to a guru and asked him what he would need to do to become enlightened. The master took the student to a lake and pushed his head under water for a long time. Finally, the man became desperate for air and forced his way to the surface, shouting, “Are you trying to kill me?”

The guru calmly replied, “When you want God as much as you wanted air, you will find enlightenment.”

While this world seems to be a place of haphazard results, each of us is getting exactly what we are asking for at any given moment. If we truly want freedom, we shall find it, and if we’re not ready, so shall we remain bound.

If you seem stuck in any situation that is less than fulfilling, ask yourself if you are receiving any perceived benefits from staying where you are. While no one would reasonably choose illness, the subconscious perceives many hidden benefits: it gets us out of work, we get sympathy, we do not have to face the issues in our life that trouble us, we may be receiving some kind of monetary reward for our disability, and on and on. While no one would consciously admit to choosing illness, on some level we do.

Many people complain about their dysfunctional relationships, yet staying in them often seems to outweigh the benefits of leaving. One thing is for sure: The moment leaving becomes more attractive, staying will not have its way. We are free to choose, and we always are.
Place within my breast the burning desire for You alone: You are all I want, and You are all I shall have.

I am determined to have my dreams come true.

[bluidkiti]

April 9

Step by Step

Today, experience freedom from resentments and feel relief from the weight of carrying them. Focus today primarily on the one character defect that can be as catastrophic as alcohol, sometimes moreso. If we can be resentment-free for just one day, we may learn that continuing to harbor grudges is not worth their weight from the relief and freedom that come when we let them go – and not take them back. Today, ask our higher power that we feel freedom from resentments and all their residual garbage – anger, isolation, revenge. For these 24 Hours, a resentment-free zone. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SERVING

Serenity or piece of mind is accomplished by very few people in the world. True happiness will come to the person who seeks and finds how to serve others.

~ Anonymous ~

We are overjoyed that our giving and sharing is called volunteering. If, in carrying the message of hope, we are volunteers, we are happy to be among those who are volunteers in its purest form. We welcome a chance to serve.

There are no honor rolls, awards, money, or trophies. We give for the pure joy of helping. Our greatest rewards come in the form of a firm handshake or a hug from someone to whom we’ve given. Sometimes it’s the gratitude in the eyes of a family member. That is enough.

I want to practice the advice not to seek glory for kindness I perform. I can never be happy if I depend on material rewards for what I have given.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The coining to consciousness is not a discovery of some new thing it is a long and painful return to that which has always been.

~ Helen Luke ~

When a few guys in Ohio first developed the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, they didn’t just sit down to devise a way to help alcoholics. The Steps were born out of the pain and desperation of men in the grips of a disease that seemed hopeless and terminal. By trial and error they wrestled with this grip of addiction, slowly uncovering an approach that was helping them to stay sober. It was only after awakening in their new life of sobriety that they started to define and write down the steps they had taken.

In some ways, to reach our awakening we all must pass through the same process of pain and challenge that those men in Ohio did. No life is free of pain. The best of us take our pain and seek to use it as a learning tool. We ask how we can make something positive out of our distress. We take stock of where we are and accept it as our starting point for moving forward. When we awaken to consciousness through the Twelve Steps, it is a unique and personal story, and yet it is a universal human story.

Today I give thanks for my growing consciousness.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Two new beings are brought forth during child-birth: a newborn and a mother.

~ Anne Marie Nelson ~

Whether or not we have given birth to a child, we can certainly appreciate the miracle. The opportunity that we now have to give birth to a new self through recovery is comparable.

It is empowering to realize that we can create, or rather re-create, ourselves through the help of this detailed, yet simple program. Who could have imagined that we, while in the midst of a chaotic, drug-infested world, were capable of taking on a new persona, becoming a new woman?

But here we are, charting a new course for our lives. Just as women need and deserve assistance in childbirth, we can rely on the help and guidance of other women who, like us, seek to sustain their rebirth. Together we will bring new women into this world, women who are eager to make a healthy difference in the lives of others.

I have the tools to create whoever I want to be. I am an artist at work.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am grateful for my life

I was married. We had a child. I was successful at my job. I felt fulfilled. But then I developed serious mental health problems and addictions. It wasn’t long after I started to recover from my dual disorder that my wife and I got divorced.

I don’t know how I’ve managed these life changes, but I now have my feet on solid ground. And I only know that regularly I have called on my higher power, and regularly I have called on the combined experience, strength, and hope of my helpers in my Twelve Step and support groups. For giving me hope, for saving my life, I am deeply grateful to them all.

Today I will work Step Twelve and carry the message of dual recovery with gratitude and humility.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Seize the day!

~ Horace ~

During active addiction, everything was going to happen “tomorrow.” We’d give up our addiction, get a good job, make up with our families and friends, call someone for help, go to that meeting, get a new apartment, become honest and decent and proud, learn a new trade, find a better life…tomorrow. For today, we’d do the same old things in the same old way.

Now we know today is all we have: the past is over and tomorrow may never come. All we can count on, all we can control, is just one day: today.

But what a world is contained in that one day! We can be abstinent for one day. We can be the best person possible for one day. We can be loving and giving and caring for one day.

In this one day, we can stop to smell the roses and really see the wonders around us. We can give thanks to our Higher Power for the beauty in the world. We can reach out to a newcomer and find support with our sponsor. In this one day, we can be all we ever dreamed we’d be.

Today let me be grateful for all I have, and be the best “me” possible.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The little reed, bending to the force of the wind, soon stood upright again when the storm had passed over.

~ Aesop ~

Plants flourish in a garden that receives the right amount of sunlight and water, as well as a well-balanced soil. Manure and compost can be excellent fertilizers, although it is ironic that something so repellent is vital to sustaining life. The same holds true with misfortunes, failures, and disappointments. Such things are as beneficial to you as manure and compost are to a garden. They facilitate the growth of positive things. Fortune can arise out of misfortune, success can rise up from failure, and fulfillment can be more fully appreciated through the experience provided by disappointment.

In Chinese language the symbol for the word crisis de-notes a duality: “a moment of danger and of opportunity.” This symbol conveys that every crisis can be viewed as both an enemy—a threat to your vital resources—and an ally—an experience that challenges you to make change.

Whenever you feel intimidated by any of life’s crises, accept the challenge. Greet it like a reed in the wind. Bend through the adversity until it has passed. Then stand up-right once again, a stronger person for the experience.

I will accept the challenges during times of adversity so I may weather them and grow stronger in the process.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We struggle after ideas. We read this book and that, and go from place to place … instead of pausing to make our own the few great but profoundly simple laws and truths of the spirit.

~ Dr. Horatio Dresser ~

Right now, all we have to remember is that the program teaches us many slogans: Easy Does It, Keep It Simple, Let Go and Let God, Live and Let Live. These slogans are more than simple statements. They are truths for our spiritual well-being.

Today may have been a day of intense activity. We may have worked at a frantic pace, but felt we accomplished little. We may then have rushed home to eat a quick meal only to rush somewhere else.

Now is the time to slow down, to stop our frantic pace, if only for a few minutes. We can breathe deeply, let go of all the worries and tensions of the day, then think of a slogan. We can picture how simple it is, yet how truthful its meaning. Now is the time to rest and feel some serenity.

What is my favorite slogan? How can this slogan help me relax tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Rewriting the program

People who abuse mood-altering chemicals fall into three categories with respect to the Twelve Step program: those who neglect the program entirely, those who try to put the program right, and those who want the pro-gram to put them right. Needless to say, those in the first two categories do them-selves little good.

If we expect to recover strictly on our own or feel the need to rewrite the Steps, arrogance and self-centeredness will block us every time. But when we accept the fact that something bigger than us can help, we are well on the road to recovery.

Am I living the program as prescribed?

Higher Power, help me believe that if I can’t, you can, and if I let you, you will.

I will practice accepting the program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Other people don’t always dream your dream.

~ LINDA RONSTADT ~

Newcomer

When people at meetings use the words “control” and “con-trolling,” the tone is always negative. What’s so bad about control? I’m glad that I have more control over my life, now that I’m not active in my addiction. I grew up hearing about “self-control” all the time. I assumed it was a good thing.

Sponsor

There are different ways in which people in recovery use the word “control.” One of them, in the phrase “controlled drinking” or “controlled drugging,” describes a state that’s neither drunk nor sober. It’s an attempt to use an addictive substance or behavior only in carefully measured amounts— the “I can handle it” approach. Those who engage in it cheat themselves both of the oblivion of addictive behavior and the joy of recovery. I can’t imagine a grimmer form of denial; it means never being free of obsession with a drug.

We also use the word “control” to name the illusion that we’re responsible for all the outcomes of our actions. The Serenity Prayer makes a distinction between things we can and can’t control. It helps me to remember that I have control over my actions, but not over those of others. I can control what I eat, but not how my body processes the food and what I weigh. I can choose my words, but not how people will respond to them. We may expend a lot of energy trying to manipulate others to feel and behave as we wish. It may even seem to work sometimes—but that’s an illusion. I don’t deliberately do things that I think may offend people or hurt their feelings; but what they feel, do, or say in reaction to me is not in the realm of my control.

Today, I accept my powerlessness over addictive substances and my powerlessness over other people’s thoughts and feelings.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many Groups and Clubs permit a little “friendly game” in the clubrooms. Far be it from us to criticize anyone for anything, as we like a little game occasionally ourselves, but we have all known of cases where the games got out of control. We have well deserved reputations for intemperance.

Card games can be the breeding place for a grand emotional upset and, incidentally, it does not help a fellow’s chance of sobriety to send him home broke to the wife and kids.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) If you think you are an NA watchdog, just remember that watchdogs have to bark and bite

2) My serenity, my pace, my choice

3) We didn’t all arrive on the same ship, but we are all in the same boat.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Ninth Step Prayer

Higher Power, I pray for the right attitude to make my amends, being ever mindful not to harm others in the process. I ask Your guidance in making indirect amends. Most important, I will continue to make amends by staying abstinent, helping others, and growing in spiritual progress.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE BIBLE HAS THE ANSWER

Don’t try to straddle the fence. If you wish to accomplish anything, you must be single-minded. It will be going the long way around if you first turn left and then right when you really want to go straight ahead. Let nothing turn you from the path. The Bible says,

A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8)


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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Love You

Love always answers, being unable to deny a call for help, or not to hear the cries of pain that rise to it.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Half an hour into healer Patricia Sun’s lecture, a man stood and announced, “I came in late—would you please tell me what happened?” This interruption seemed rather rude, considering that Patricia had spent time developing her theme for a thousand eager listeners. But Patricia did not play the judgment game. She smiled at the man and told him, ‘‘I love you—that’s what happened.” Patricia paused for a moment for him to receive the gift; then he replied, “Thank you,” and sat down.

The man was not really seeking information, but love and acknowledgment. He felt left out and wanted to be included. Giving him the love he sought cut past the game he was playing to get it, and everyone was served to observe the gift Patricia gave him.

One of the most powerful ways to deal with irritating behavior is to reinterpret it as a call for love. I am fascinated by teenagers who drive up and down city streets blasting car stereos so loud that one can hardly carry on a conversation within a hundred feet. With each passing year, the speakers grow larger, now to a point where many of these aficionados have removed their back seats to fit in two giant speakers. When I hear one of these cars passing, I translate the gross noise into, “Please pay attention to me! Please listen to me! Please know that I am here!” I am certain that a sociological study would reveal these car owners to be children who have felt unseen and unheard by their parents or society. If we gave our kids more love and attention at home, they would not need to buy huge speakers to demand attention from the world.

The next time someone asks you for attention in an inappropriate way, stop, take a breath, and sincerely tell them, “I love you.”

I pray to give only love today. I know I can meet all needs by giving love.

Love is my answer, no matter what the question.

[bluidkiti]

April 10

Step by Step

Today, faith that my higher power will open one door if another is shut, be it the door to that job I hoped for but didn’t get, to a reconciliation of a relationship that cannot be mended despite my sincerest efforts, or to anything that I thought I needed and wanted but didn’t get. The higher power replaces what He takes with something else, maybe not what we think we want or need, to be treated grudgingly as a “consolation prize.” I must hold onto the reality that my higher power will provide me with what I need, not necessarily what I want – and I must have faith that He knows better than I that I may not necessarily need what I want. Today, if a door shuts on me, I will not feel trapped or hopeless and instead will seek the door that my higher power is opening. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GUILT AND WORRY

With the Past, as past, I have nothing to do; nor with the Future as future. I live now.

~ Emerson~

We discover a truth about the past and future in our recovery. There are areas over which we have no control, so it’s useless to feel guilty about the past or worry over the future. Our Steps have allowed us to clean the slate and make amends for the mess of the past. We receive a generous and loving forgiveness from our Higher Power.

We ask our Higher Power to accept our past mistakes and to free us from the garbage those mistakes have produced. The future is in God’s hands. There is nothing we can do about what might happen except to pray for acceptance of God’s will. These prayers produce plenty of work for the present. When the future comes, we will be ready.

The amount of time I spend right now feeling guilty or being worried only uses time that I could spend thanking God for the moment I am living. Gratitude will always make mincemeat of guilt and worry.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The problem is this: skills learned in danger require the presence of danger to be effective.

~ Wayne Muller ~

Many of us had stressful childhoods. Some of us lived in chaotic households. Some of us were badly treated by the people we relied on to take care of us. Life often felt dangerous, but we developed skills to deal with the chaos. Some of us learned to keep all our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, some of us learned to please those around us, and some of us learned to avoid all confrontation or disagreement.

These childhood skills, learned through hard lessons in the presence of danger, may have become fixed in our immature minds as the best answers for a lifetime. But in our adult lives, those dangers may no longer be present. No one is beating us up anymore, but we are still flinching. The door is open for us to walk out, but we now must learn the skills of living in a safer world. We can take small steps by saying how we feel, by opening our hearts to trusted friends, and by asking for what we would like and being generous with others. These skills can be learned, just as our childhood skills were learned, and as we gain this knowledge, we have more and more rewarding fives.

Today I will take some risks that are my privilege as an adult, even if they seem risky.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We learn from every experience, in retrospect, that everything has turned out perfectly.

~ Robbie Rocheford ~

We can all look back on troubling times and understand how they contributed to our growth as women. At the time, we couldn’t imagine how we would survive. Terror and hopelessness were our companions then. What relief the program has given us! We have a new companion now. And we are growing in wisdom about how perfectly our lives are unfolding. Every experience is giving us new understanding and the strength to go on. More important, we are becoming better prepared to help other women survive similar experiences.

We are being guided on this journey by a Higher Power. Each of us has a place to go, a job to do. Because we suffer from “self-will run riot,” we can take wrong turns. Then we suffer the consequences. Fortunately, our Higher Power is always close at hand, ready to help us when we become willing to ask for help. This is likely the most important lesson we are here to learn: ask our Higher Power for help and we will be shown the way.

I can trust that anything I experience today will benefit my growth. If I ask my Higher Power for help and strength, I will feel peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can call my doctor when I need to

After being assessed for medication, I was given the prescription, told how to take it, and told to check with my doctor if I had any problems. I took the medicine as prescribed, but after a day or two, my hands got shaky, my mouth got dry, and I felt nauseated.

I wasn’t sure if I should call. My psychiatrist is very busy, has many patients, and I didn’t want to cause a fuss. But eventually I did call and sure enough he thanked me for the report. He prescribed a change in the dosage and asked me to call back if things dint improve. Fortunately, the adjustment helped, and in this process, I learned another way to take care of myself.

If I have any questions about my medication, or if things don’t seem right, I will call my doctor or therapist.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one’s self.

~ Philip James Bailey ~

Clearly, achieving serenity requires rigorous honesty, especially when it comes to our feelings. We are so adept at masking our vulnerability and imperfections, pretending to know what we can’t possibly know, pretending we have no limits. In this way we often remain untrue to ourselves.

Although it may take many months or even years, we are equal to the difficulty and challenge of rigorous honesty. We can practice openness and avoid using defenses. We can learn to avoid using rage to cover fear and hurt, and avoid using smiles to cover sadness and pain.

In recovery we can learn to know, and tell, our real feelings. We can find harmony with ourselves.

Rigorous honesty can become one of our character traits, particularly when we feel that we no longer have to fear sharing who we really are.

Today help me overcome my fears of being vulnerable and imperfect. Help me achieve serenity by honestly sharing my feelings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

True solitude is the din of birdsong, seething leaves, whirling colors, or a clamor of tracks in the snow.

~ Edward Hoagland ~

For most people, the first and only choice in life is to be with someone or to have someone be there for you. There is no second choice or any “second-best” scenario. You are either in the Land of We, or you are alone. And who wants to be alone? Who chooses to be in the Land of Me?

Many important paths presented to you during your journey in recovery and in life are narrow, winding, steep, and hard to negotiate. They cannot be traveled by walking hand-in-hand with another. These paths must be explored walking single file—in solitude, silence, and singular contemplation. To avoid these paths simply because they require solitude prevents you from developing self-reliance. Without them, you cannot test your wings.

Recovery teaches you not only how to be alone, but also how to choose to be alone. Choosing to be alone builds self-reliance. No one else can do this for you. You must learn to explore your own visions and expand your personal horizons on your own—and when you are alone. In doing so, you become vitally connected to understanding your own capabilities.

Today I will choose moments of solitude so I may test my wings.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

“And this, too, shall pass away.” How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! “And this, too, shall pass away.”

~ Abraham Lincoln ~

Sometimes, when we’re in a dark hour, we may believe time has suddenly stopped. Forever after, we shall always have this pain or sadness or despair. From here on, we think, this is how it’s going to be-minute after minute of pain.

But we need to remember time passes quickly when we’re enjoying ourselves. When we’re in the midst of a negative feeling, every hour seems like two. But this present hour will not endure. Nor the next. Sorrows pass, just as happiness does. Pain passes, just as pleasure does. Nothing really stays the same, nothing ever stands still.

All we need to do, right now, is endure this moment. It, too, shall pass. We need to have strength, patience, faith, and a strong belief that this moment – and the feelings in this moment – will not endure. Time passes, and so will the pain.

Tonight I may need help remembering that this, too, shall pass. How can I let my Higher Power help me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Improving the way we feel

It is hard to see that we lay the groundwork for all our emotions. It’s also hard to accept the fact that we tend to blame our pain on anything or anyone else. That way, we placed all responsibility outside ourselves.

We are the source of most of our troubles, but we can also be the source of our happiness. If we make conditions inside ourselves conducive to joy and happiness, joy and happiness will be a part of us as well. Through God, we can change the conditions inside ourselves.

How am I feeling inside?

Higher Power, help me to make the conditions inside myself a place for good things and not just troubles.

I will improve the way I feel today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I think the one lesson I have learned, is that there is no substitute for paying attention.

~ DIANE SAWYER ~

Newcomer

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I often sit in a meeting just looking at everyone’s shoes and trying to decide which ones I like. Or I may be sort of half listening while looking at what people are wearing or how their hair is cut, trying to figure out whether the same thing would look okay on mo. I guess I sound pretty superficial.

Sponsor

Sometimes the intensity of recovery feels overwhelming. We drift, thinking there’s something wrong with the meeting or with us. Our thoughts are elsewhere, racing a mile a minute, or else we fall asleep. The problem isn’t that we’re easily bored or unwilling to concentrate. More likely, we’re trying to get some relief from feelings that are surfacing within us. A lot happens at meetings. Some people are sharing stories that remind us of our own, and some are sharing their experience of a new way of life that challenges beliefs and habits we’ve held for a long time. It sometimes feels like too much. The experience itself of sitting in a room with other people uses mental and emotional energy, and may raise anxieties for some of us. It takes getting used to. The good news is that in time we do find it easier to be fully present.

Today, I gently let go of concerns about my rate of progress, as I remain consistent about attending meetings and working the program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When the wife would take me to task in my drinking days, I would soon show her who was boss of the establishment. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that “When I ceased being Captain of the ship, I would sink it.”

Oh, yes, I was Captain but somehow the ship was continually on the rocks. It wasn’t my fault, understand, the wind and the waves were always against me.

Now I have resigned my commission as Captain, I have a new Navigator and my ship keeps pretty well on its course. I’m only a deck hand now but I’m happier with less responsibility and I am confident it’s much safer.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) HOPE: Hang Onto Power Everyday

2) Action: Utilize, don’t analyze.

3) New Level; New Devil.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Tenth Step Prayer

I pray I may continue;
To grow in understanding and effectiveness;
To take daily spot-check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and behaviors;
To keep my wilfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love and tolerance of others as my code;
And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my Higher Power.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NO SUPERSTITIONS

Don’t harbour superstitions of any kind, big or little. People often make a fetish of a number or a date, or a keepsake; or they believe certain things bring “bad luck.” This is denying God. The Bible says,

Thou shalt have no other gods before me (Exodus 20:3)

Because thou hast made the Lord . . . thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee . . . (Psalm 91:9 – 10)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Integrity

Have a purpose in life, and having it, throw into your work such strength of mind and muscle as God gives you.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

The telephone repairman showed me the cause of the terrible static on my line. “Do you see where all these wires come together?” he asked, pointing to the junction of wires from my four house telephones. “This one wire is faulty, and it is polluting the rest of the circuits.” He removed the one wire and let me listen to the other lines, which became perfectly clear.

When one area of our life is out of integrity, it affects all the others. When you compromise or live a lie in an important relationship, it will create static in your career. When you clean up one area that is out of harmony, the other areas will advance at rocket speed.

Purify any parts of my life out of alignment with Your purpose, so I may live as a whole and powerful being.

One with God, I am united with my purpose. My life must succeed in every way.

[bluidkiti]

April 11

Step by Step

Today, seek new friends, acquaintances and relationships that sobriety holds and turn away from the bittersweet memories of what was lost in our drinking days. Instead of languishing in regret or mourning what is gone and cannot be replaced, remember that we are sober, and sober thinking opens itself to working for what can be and not pining for what was and never again will be. If attending meetings is the extent of our participation in AA, we can spring into service as a 12th-Stepper, or sponsor or simply talking and listening to a co-member to lay the foundation of a new life with new friends, new acquaintances and new relationships. And should we be blessed with someone who today takes us out of the emotional baggage of yesterday, we can start to believe that a new and better life in sobriety is indeed possible. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BEAUTY

Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.

~ George Santayana ~

Beauty is among our most useful and most used words as we progress towards spiritual goals. The kind of beauty that guides our thinking in recovery does not lie on the outside, but rises from within. When we learn to see that beauty in the words, actions, and attitudes of others as well as in the principles we follow, we are choosing well.

Our friends have beauty because of who they really are, not what they appear to be. The emotions we feel and the living guides we follow are beautiful simply because we need them.

I will have no trouble finding spiritual beauty in our Program. True beauty never dies. It is found in all thoughts, attitudes and emotions, if only I seek it,

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Where there is fear, we lose the way of our spirit.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

We don’t like to admit that we are afraid. But when we won’t admit the feeling, we can’t deal with it. By denying our fears, we don’t get stronger, we weaken ourselves. Denying fear doesn’t get rid of problems, it only reinforces them. In the end, if we don’t handle fear well, it rules us.

Fear is a universal human emotion, and we cannot eradicate it. We must learn how to handle the hot coals of fear. When we learn how, they don’t have to be destructive. Handling fear begins with self-knowledge. We first learn that the unsettling feeling we have may be fear. Our desire to run away, or the tight knot in our gut, may be fear. That admission to ourselves can be followed by talking about it to a friend or a sponsor. Sometimes just speaking the fear out loud to someone we trust is enough to put it back in perspective. We have handled it.

Today I will notice my feelings and respond to feeling of fear in constructive ways.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I can have my way more often if I have more than one way.

~ Stephanie Abbott ~

We find ourselves doing battle with the world if we turn every dispute into a confrontation. Seldom do any two of us see something in exactly the same way. This diversity is what makes life interesting— rich and educational. If any one ego dominated how all of us perceived every incident, life would be boring at best.

We all want our own opinion to dominate, whether it’s over when to eat or what movie to see. Perhaps it’s merely human to want our ego in charge. Or maybe that’s only true of people as insecure as us. In the program, at least, we’re in the right place. We can change. We can learn to let others be right too.

There are many reactions to any situation. Our own way will serve occasionally. We have the opportunity to learn alternative responses too.

There are many ways to interpret my experiences today. I will be flexible and occasionally look from another’s vantage point.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I Can Handle My Changes

I’m not using alcohol or drugs these days and I’m getting help for my depression. Overall I feel much better (although the side effects of the medication are a nuisance). But so much is changing. Sometimes I don’t feel like myself or I wonder about who I am. (Is this due to the medication?) I feel in a word, unsettled.

It helped when I brought this up with my doctor. She understood and supported me, saying that recovery is very unsettling and uncomfortable for everyone. It will get better over time, she added, especially once the medication is optimized. Knowing how normal I am makes this stage much easier for me to accept.

I will talk with two members of my support group today about how they handled all the changes of my dual recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Turn it over.

~ Program Saying ~

“How do you ‘turn it over?’” We often hear this question in meetings. The struggle isn’t as much with the “turning over” as with making a decision. When something happens and we feel confused, it generally boils down to one simple question: Are we going to do it our way (again), or follow the lead of our Higher Power?

Deep down, we know the right thing to do. It may not be easy or familiar, but we need to do it. Resisting change and getting caught up in managing our own lives, the lives of other people, places, or things is the start of our problems. That way, we take a simple task and turn it into a major chore. But if we keep it simple and do the next right thing, we are “turning it over.”

We need to listen to our inner voice. Sometimes it is easy to hear; other times it’s difficult, because we don’t like what it’s saying. We need to sit quietly, become peaceful and open. The answer will come. If we can’t quiet ourselves, we can go to others in the program and listen to them. They will often tell us what we need to hear.

Today I pray for the courage to accept direction and the courage to follow through into action.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the action stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.

~ Anais Nin ~

Steve Ross, who put together the Time Warner merger and left millions in his estate when he died, structured his life around being a dream maker. When he was a teenager, he was summoned to his father’s deathbed and given this advice: There are those who work all day, those who dream all day, and those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. “Go into the third category,” his father told him, “because there is virtually no competition.”

The biggest roadblock to realizing a dream is the fear you will fail. The second biggest roadblock is the fear you will succeed. Both can keep you mired in the same spot, neither advancing nor retreating from your dreams. But dreams are your hopes and desires for the future. They are symbols of your commitment to who you can become.

So today, go ahead and dream—and then take the steps that will help you to move closer to your dream. You have the power to make a dream come true, but only if you try.

Today I will focus on one of my dreams. I will do at least one thing that will help make this dream a reality.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We need the courage to start and continue what we should do, and courage to stop what we shouldn’t do.

~ Richard L. Evans ~

What is courage? Many of us think it involves surviving against all odds. Some of us believe courage is personified by an individual like Helen Keller, who coped with many physical defects to vastly change her life and the lives of those around her. Others of us believe courage is personified by people like astronaut John Glenn, who took risks trying something new knowing he could fail.

Are we courageous? Compared to those people we would probably say no. Yet we are because we have taken risks to change our lives. Being willing to change is an act of courage. Believing in change and forging ahead on the new, uncharted path is an act of courage.

We are the only ones who can change ourselves. Just as Helen Keller and John Glenn made decisions to alter their lives, so do we make decisions to risk changes. Whether we started on our new way of life years ago, days ago, or even hours ago, we are filled with courage because of the decisions we made.

I can say the Serenity Prayer and remember my courage.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being free

Some psychologists believe that some people don’t want to be free. In the middle of our addiction, we certainly had no freedom. We lost it all to the call of that fix, pill, or drink. We lost our freedom because we lost the power to decide how we wanted to behave. We had no choice.

Now we have a choice, and although we can never be free from our addiction, we can be free in our addiction! We can never be a former alcoholic or an ex-addict, but never again must we take those chemicals and de-stroy our being. The choice is ours.

Am I choosing to be free?

I pray to realize that if I let go and let God, I will be free.

I will honor my freedom today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Say what you mean and mean what you say, hut don’t he mean when you say it.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

At a meeting I went to, the chairman made comments every time someone shared. Isn’t that what they call “cross talk”?

Sponsor

Certain customs vary from meeting to meeting. I’ve heard more than one definition of “cross talk” and seen some differences in whether or not it’s considered permissible to respond when others are sharing.

At most meetings, it’s not customary to respond directly to what another person shares by offering opinions or advice. It’s fine, though, to identify with what’s been said and to share our own experience on a related feeling or topic. At some meetings the speaker responds to sharing, but rarely interrupts, even with a brief, good-humored comment. At others, the speaker simply says “thank you”—or nothing at all. Limiting cross talk promotes the habit of tolerance and helps create an atmosphere in which it’s safe to share openly and honestly.

Other customs, too, vary from fellowship to fellowship, from place to place throughout the country, even from meeting to meeting in the same city or town. Some meetings give out chips to mark anniversaries; some celebrate them with cakes and presentations. Some meetings sell raffle tickets; the prize is usually program literature. Some meetings prohibit smoking. Such policies may be dictated by local custom or decided at business meetings or “group conscience” meetings.

Recovery keeps offering us opportunities to become more flexible and tolerant.

Today, I am open and flexible. I cultivate lightness as I look and listen.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics have learned that if we fight liquor we are bound to lose. We always have. Our only hope is a complete abandonment of any ideas that we might have once entertained that we can drink. We must get sober and learn to like it. We should throw ourselves into all group activities, read all AA literature and other spiritually inspiring books we can get, brush up on our praying.

As you practice this you will find that whisky will get further and further from your minds and when you do think of it you will regard it as a beverage for some guys, but poison for yourself.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) From Rave to Grave

2) If you used enough to get to NA, you used enough.

3) Serenity comes when you stop expecting and start accepting.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Eleventh Step Prayer

Higher Power, as I understand You, I pray to keep open my connection with You and to keep it clear from the confusion of daily life. Through m prayers and meditations I ask especially for freedom from self-will, rationalization, and wishful thinking. I pray for the guidance of correct thought and positive action. Your will, Higher Power, not mine, be done.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LOOSEN UP!

Loosen up. To be tense is the surest way to fail in any undertaking great or small.

To desire success is a splendid thing but to pursue success too tensely is to make certain of missing it. The carefree approach in any endeavour is a shortcut to success. In music, in sport, in study, in business life, many people fail, or advance very slowly, because they make hard work of it.

Treat your work as fun. Regard the difficulties as part of the game, laugh off the annoyances. This, of course, is the real difference between work and play.

Take it easy. Loosen up!

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:30).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

My Invisible Partner

You and God are a majority.

~ Anonymous ~

After Mr. Taylor experienced several business failures, in exasperation he turned to God and declared, “Okay, I give up trying to do it all by myself. I invite You to be my partner in all future endeavors. If You want something to be, I trust You to manifest it; if it is not Your will, I will not struggle.”

Mr. Taylor’s next venture was a small department store. True to his promise, this time he proceeded with ease and peace, knowing that with God as his partner, he would not have to fight for his good. As a result, the store flourished, and Mr. Taylor went on to create a hugely successful chain—Lord and Taylor.

Trying to do it all yourself leads to frustration, exhaustion, and failure. While it is important to be responsible and self-reliant, it is equally important to be open to receive support. Everything in nature gives to other living beings; we cannot do it all alone. All good things are overseen and supported by a higher power. Do all you can without anxiety or struggle, and trust Spirit to do the rest.

I invite You to be my partner. I allow You to do for me what I cannot do for myself. I let go of fear and struggle, and step onto the path of joy.

I am empowered by Spirit. Together we must succeed.

[bluidkiti]

April 12

Step by Step

Today, I can believe my worst days are behind and not ahead of me if I don’t drink in the current 24 Hours and not think in terms of a lifetime, a year, a month or even a week without alcohol. If I can be honest about remembering that moment when I knew alcohol had made my life unmanageable and why I came to AA, I might also remember that my days as a drinking alcoholic were the darkest and toughest of my life. And if that is true, I can look no further than those people who are in recovery to know that sobering up will be nowhere near as tough as continuing to drink. Today, if I am teetering and preoccupied with how many tomorrows will be without alcohol, I will live only in the current 24 hours, just one day at a time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

VALUES

By accepting God’s help we learn to think clearly, to play fairly, and to give generously.

~ Anonymous ~

Our values change in recovery as we become less and less selfish. The value screen through which we see life is changed. We no longer ask what everyone can do for us; w ask what we can do for them. We no longer seek out situations that only comfort us; we discover ways to comfort. We find that we feel better about ourselves when we help others. We learn from our Program that what we have been searching for our whole lives is wrapped up in service to others.

The valuable relationship is the one that creates a closer contact with our Higher Power, so we seek out situations and people that bring us into closer contact.

The values we show in the work of recovery look different from the ones we once held. Every day brings a new chance to become a conductor of life.

My values no longer change with every passing fancy. My life is beginning to mean something and to count for things that are good.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

~Stephen R. Covey ~

Ancient wise men first identified that crucial gap in time between the moment we first sense something and the response we give. They taught meditation principles focusing on this distinction and spent hours in contemplation that led to deep inner peace and serenity. Most of us, in our busy lives, do not devote hours and days to that focus, but we can learn to practice the crucial wisdom of chosen response instead of instant reflex.

Reactivity is like a knee-jerk response. It comes from a primitive part of our brains. If we haven’t learned of that brief gap between the stimulus and our response, then we don’t even know we have a choice. We might say, “I couldn’t help it. If he hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have done what I did,” At that point we are still immature and weak. When we gain awareness of this tiny bit of time to choose the best response, we step from immaturity into the strength of a grown man.

Today I will become more aware of that moment of choice between a stimulus and my response.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Taking responsibility for the part I play in the cause of my problems frees me to do something about them.

~ Kathy McGraw ~

We used to love to blame other people for the burdens and hurdles in our lives. That someone else was to blame for our personal upset was as obvious to us as rain splashing against the windshield. Yet the longer we looked at others rather than at ourselves, the more stuck we became in old behavior.

We’ve since come to understand that we simply cannot grow, we cannot harvest the fruits of this recovery program, unless we develop a willingness to take responsibility for who we are at every instant of our lives. As we begin taking responsibility for our actions, we feel empowered. We realize that we are who we have chosen to be. And we will be who we decide we want to be. As that reality permeates our consciousness, we will begin to know that our hopes can become real, because the promises in the Big Book are real.

I will feel strengthened by claiming responsibility for all that I am today. Before taking action, I can pause and consider whether I will feel good about my choice.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am OK when I make a mistake

Growing up I learned that it was important to look strong at all times. I even learned not to apologize. Yet sometimes I did things that I felt bad about. But to acknowledge them was to look weak and perhaps to risk attack.

In recovery I am learning new ideas, new ways. I am learning that it’s OK to acknowledge mistakes. I’m finding out that if I say “I’m sorry,” my guilt diminishes. When I make a mistake in recovery, I no longer feel angry at myself or assume that I’m bad or weak. Instead, I see myself as someone who can make a mistake, learn from it, and then be willing to change. It’s good to know I’m human.

I will pray for strength to accept myself and admit my mistakes.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Leave room for God to surprise you!

~ Ernie K. ~

If we always get what we want, and things always go our way, and people always do what we want them to do, we have no need for God. When we know what’s going to happen, we become God, all-knowing.

It is human to be disappointed when we don’t get what we want. But when we dwell on our disappointment, as if we should have gotten what we wanted, then we forget to trust that God may have something different in store for us. Many of us pray, “Thy will be done,” but more often than not, when we don’t get what we want, we forget it may be God’s will that we not get it!

We can only know the present moment. This is our life — all of it. When we worry about future wants and past disappointments, we don’t leave room in ourselves for the present. When we let God take care of the future and live the best we can right now, we can feel assured we’ll be ready for the better things that are in store for us.

Today help me to trust in Your will.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

They also serve who only stand and wait.

~ John Milton ~

Volunteers at the Grupo Ecologico de la Costa Verde in Mexico know the value of patience as they guide hatchling turtles back to the sea from their sandy beach nests. Crossing the sand is a crucial part of the imprinting pro-cess that brings the turtles back to lay their eggs at the place of their birth.

Moonlight illuminates the course the turtles must take, but they can easily become misdirected by the lights of civilization. Yet they must get to the ocean on their own to complete the imprinting process. So as the time of hatching draws near, volunteers stand and wait for hours near the nests at night until the turtles break free from their shells and slowly emerge from the sand. Then volunteers gently turn the turtles in the right direction and follow their progress, inch by inch, over a period of several hours until the turtles make it to the sea.

The same process can be applied to your recovery. Skimming through the Big Book and rushing through the Twelve Steps will not hasten the restoration of your sanity, health, and wholeness. Your rebirth takes time and requires dedicated patience.

Today I will resist rushing and instead take my time in all that I do. Having patience with myself and with others can be directly applied to the process of my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I have wept in the night
For the shortness of sight
That to somebody’s need made me blind;
But I have never yet
Felt a tinge of regret
For being a little too kind.

~ Anonymous ~

We have only to turn on the evening news to be deluged by all the unkindnesses in the world. Natural disasters destroy and kill. People murder. Governments oppress and torture. People discriminate against others. But if we turn off the evening news and take a look at our own lives – at our relationships – we can see that unkindness is just as prevalent.

Kindness is like a beautiful flowering plant. Pay attention to it, water it, nourish it, tend to its needs, and it will flourish. One flower will open, then another, with a reward of brilliant colors. Show it no kindness, and it will close up its beauty and die.

There are flowers all around me. I need to cultivate my garden with kindness.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting God’s will

Step Eleven concludes “. . . praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” This tells us that when we pray for “whatever is right,” the best will happen for all concerned, including our-selves. We may even receive more than we asked for.

In times of crisis, when we feel that things must go our way or we’ll lose faith in God, do we stop to remember that God works in mysterious ways? Nothing, not even death, is without a purpose. Accepting whatever comes as God’s will avoids blame and anger, and keeps us present and focused.

Am I learning acceptance?

Higher Power, help me understand that disasters are not punishments, and they can make your purpose clear.

I will practice acceptance today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Happiness is a way-station between too little and too much.

~ CHANNING POLLOCK ~

Newcomer

I’m in a bind. Someone asked me to attend an event, and I said yes. I think I should be doing more than just going to meetings. Now that the date’s almost here, I wish I’d said no; I don’t really want to go. But I don’t think I should let people down at the last minute any more—I did that too much when I was active in my addiction.

Sponsor

When I was new in recovery, I had a serious case of what we call “people-pleasing.” It’s taken time to sort out my own needs and desires. I’ve found that I need to spend time with people and that I also need time for solitude and rest. Chances to try new things are among the gifts of recovery, but I don’t have to do everything that comes along. It still takes effort to plan ahead for activities I care about and to leave room for spontaneity.

Making choices that please and nurture us is healthy. If we need to, we can change our minds and our plans—it’s not the same thing as picking up our addictions. We need to be clear about our motives, however. If we find that we’re consistently waiting until the last minute, then backing out of commitments, perhaps we’re letting fear make our decisions. And sometimes, it’s just plain easier to go ahead and keep a commitment we’re less than thrilled about. If we’ve made a mistake, it’s not the end of the world; our mistakes are our teachers. Through trial and error, we eventually learn how to choose good company and make appropriate commitments.

Today, I’m showing up for my life.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When we alcoholics arrived at that point in our drinking careers that we commonly call “our bottom”; when difficulties were pouring in from every side; when there was no longer any room left to retreat and all our defenses had crumbled – we found that we had no other alternative but take the last desperate effort of the totally beaten.

AA proved, as history has often done, that the best defense is a strong offense.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) We may not have it all together, BUT together we have it ALL!

2) HOPE: Happy Our Program Exists

3) Actions speak louder than words.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Twelfth Step Prayer

Dear God,

My spiritual awakening continues to unfold. The help I have received I shall pass on and give to others, both in and out of the Fellowship. For this opportunity I am grateful.

I pray most humbly to continue walking day by day on the road of spiritual progress. I pray for the inner strength and wisdom to practice the principles of this way of life in all I do and say. I need You, my friends, and the Program every hour of every day. This is a better way to live.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A DOOR OPENS

Change is the law of the universe. Without change, the world would not merely remain in a static state, but it would soon become stale and stagnant. Without change there would be no progress, for change is the essence of betterment. It is obvious that to do anything in a new and better way there must be a change.

Many people look upon change with dread and foreboding. But for those on the spiritual path—for those who believe in God and the power of prayer—change is a fuller expression of life.

When a problem or condition arises in your life that indicates a change, rely upon God, and realize that it is not so much as a door has closed on a chapter of your life, but rather that a door has opened on new and more interesting things.

Behold, I make all things new (Revelation 21:5)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

A Touch Can Change a Life

Never underestimate the power of a kind act.

~ Anonymous ~

In the midst of a long meditation retreat, Rick was feeling tired, bored, and discouraged. Waking up to a cold, dark morning, he decided he would leave today. As Rick joined the line of students for the morning walking meditation practice, the man behind him placed his hand comfortingly on Rick’s shoulder. “With that touch I felt renewed,” Rick explained. “Although the man did not speak a word, I felt him tell me, ‘It’s okay. I know you are having a hard time; hang in there.’ From that moment on, my attitude was transformed, and I went on to complete the retreat.”

Kindness is powerful, contagious, and transformative. Never underestimate the potential of a friendly smile, gentle touch, or supportive word. So many people walk the world in pain and self-doubt. Your simple gift could make all the difference in a friend’s or stranger’s day, and even save their life. You are the light of the world—let it shine!

Let me be a positive influence on everyone I meet.
I offer myself to make a difference in the lives I touch.

God blesses the world through my words and hands.
I am a messenger of love.

[bluidkiti]

April 13

Step by Step

Today, I detach to be objective and see and accept myself for what I am and not what I hope I am. Because I am asked by AA to work through my emotional and character defects, I must first see them honestly before I can correct them. Here, I look to Step 4 to identify those flaws and, instead of rationalizing or justifying them, I have to see and accept them for what they are – defects that I cannot afford to carry into recovery. And, after reviewing my Fourth, I must look to the Serenity Prayer for the “courage to change the things I can.” Today, when I look in a mirror, I need to see the man in it. I won’t see him if I look at him through rose-colored glasses. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

COURAGE

God, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I together can’t handle.

~ Anonymous ~

Courage is what makes us do the right thing even when nobody else is doing it. We can find happiness while surrounded by darkness; we can be loving in the middle of hate and envy, and serene when surrounded by chaos, fear, and anger.

The principles of our Program help us face impossible odds. We learn that any act of courage may produce future victory for ourselves and others. The courage which we want takes its strength from faith, not from bravery or physical strength.

Foolish, unthinking courage, though, can be destructive to us or to others. Sensible courage never fails because it is made up of truth and faith.

Let truth and faith give me courage, so that when fear knocks, no one is there.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

~ Coco Chanel ~

Why are we working so hard? What are we striving to-ward? Do we want to achieve some important accomplishment, or do we want to be someone we respect? Naturally we don’t have just one aim. We have many goals and hopes, but what are the most important ones?

When we focus on becoming the best kind of person we know how to be, we leave behind all our anxieties about how well we can perform. We still need to accomplish tasks and do our work, but the important thing now is the kind of person we are while we are doing them. Are we honest? Are we considerate of others? Is our heart open to the world? Do we take responsibility for our actions? When we fulfill the personal qualities that we admire, we can allow our-selves some slack for mistakes and imperfection in our achievements.

Today I am grateful that I am becoming someone I respect.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The child in me says “Hold on”; the adult in me says “Let go.”

~ Harriet Hodgson ~

Learning to let go is growing up. Whether we’re twenty-five or sixty-five, we have to learn to let go. We don’t do it automatically. The principles of this program can serve as our guide.

Perhaps we learned in childhood that if we didn’t want to lose our toys, we had to hold on to them. A pattern was set; we began hanging on to everything. But now it’s time for new training, for learning to let go of everything: possessions, people, attitudes, opinions. Patience and practice accomplish the growth we seek.

We must be prepared for backsliding. Some situations cry for us to hold on rather than let go. We have to be vigilant and forgive ourselves when we give in to the old urge to control. Being adult takes desire and consistent effort. The child in us doesn’t give in easily.

I have a choice today. I can handle all circumstances as an adult and feel free, or my “child” can trigger a confrontation. What will I do?

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am trying to accept my medication.

I’m not yet comfortable with my psychiatric medications. But I don’t know which is worse—feeling sad and anxious without the medication or feeling out of touch, thirsty, and constipated due to the side effects. It seems that there are problems either way. I guess I thought the medication would just take care of everything.

So my doctor and I talked again about the side effects. We also talked about how this medication helps—much like a pair of eyeglasses—but does not cure, and how I still have to do my part to recover. I trust my doctor. Working together with her, I believe that slowly, things will improve all around.

I will ask my higher power for willingness and for patience.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Great opportunities to serve God are rare, little opportunities happen every day.

~ Anonymous ~

We often read or hear about people who have made major contributions to the well-being of others. Some donate large sums of money to build schools or hospitals. Others perform acts of great heroism or skill in saving others’ lives. If only we could do one of these things! If only a great opportunity presented itself so the world could see we really do care.

The problem with waiting for “The Great Opportunity” is that it may never come. And even if it did, the desire to perform great acts often has its roots in a large ego, not a large heart!

If we really want to serve God and others, there are opportunities every day. Like giving a genuine compliment to someone, or offering to take someone to or from a meeting if they otherwise can’t go, or some small kindness to a stranger.

We don’t need to wait for a great opportunity. Serving others in little, everyday ways can bring great joy.

Today may I be willing, in attitude and action, to reach out and help others, as I continue to help myself and accept help from others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.

~ Harrison Ford ~

Imagine you have a map in your hands, one you have used to guide you through the years. It shows all of your old routes of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Recovery provides you with a new map, with an un-familiar destination and different routes. Rather than discard your old map, you may still bring it out from time to time and think how much easier it would be to follow. But until you set forth on the course provided by the new map, you will never know what opportunities await you. You will never understand that your new destination may be more promising and enjoyable than the old one.

Take, for example, the story of Jill Elikann Barad. She wanted to be a surgeon, but fainted her first time in the operating room. After wandering from job to job, she ended up at Mattel where she refashioned a toy that had seen better days. She recreated Barbie and ended up president of the company. “The idea of trying everything is important,” she said. “Your experiences come together and make you multidimensional.” When you change your map, you change yourself and transform your world into something better.

Today I will trust the map of recovery to guide me in all that I do.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

~ Thomas Jefferson ~

We see our true selves when we don’t resculpt our bodies, change the style of our hair, or try to imagine someone else instead of us. If we see ourselves as we honestly are, then we will see the imperfections that make us who we are: perhaps too much weight or not enough, a not-so-clear complexion, or being too short or tall. We will never look the way we really want because our desires are usually impossible to attain. We can certainly make some changes, but we need to learn to see an honest picture of ourselves.

The first step to get to know who we are is to know what we look like. We can start by taking off our clothes and standing naked in front of a mirror. That’s us, no matter how much we may want to look away or cry or laugh out loud. We may wish that wasn’t what we looked like, but that’s because we’ve learned to look at others rather than ourselves. We can take the first step toward wisdom and maturity by seeing our honest reflection, and accepting it.

I will gather up courage to really look at my reflection. I will accept the good as well as the bad.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Growing

We all perform on two stages, one public, one private. The public stage is what we do and say. The private stage is what we think and what we rehearse in our minds to do on the public stage. Even though we may never perform it, what we rehearse in our minds helps mold our characters and guide our actions.

Are we rehearsing anger, fights, and what we’re going to tell that SOB next time? Are we rehearsing drug use, the old ways of living? If so, we are risking the recovery we have achieved.

To keep growing and to keep building character, we need to rehearse kindness, patience, and love. We need to practice aware-ness of our Higher Power in our lives.

Am I growing?

May I practice kindness, patience, and love in all my affairs today.

Today I will seek to grow by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Creating intimacy is a skill.

~ LAUREL MELLIN ~

Newcomer

The so-called suggestion not to have relationships in the first year makes me angry. The rest of the world falls in love, and people get together. Why can’t I?

Sponsor

Let’s remember that there are many, many kinds of relationships, including friendships, professional relationships, and relationships like ours, the sponsor-sponsee relationship. All of them offer valuable experience and practice at something we addicts don’t know much about: the gradual process, over time, of sharing ourselves with fellow human beings.

As a newly recovering person, you still have a lot to learn about yourself. Why rush the process? The person you are today and the person you will be after several months in recovery may not have much in common. You may quickly outgrow a romantic relationship that you enter into this early in your journey. Other newcomers, like you, are involved in a revolutionary process of growth and change. If you risk getting involved with a newcomer, you may find yourself unceremoniously dumped or vulnerable to the person’s unreasonable demands or unthinking behavior. Instead, you can choose to allow yourself a luxury during these early months—that of creating a sensitive, loving relationship with yourself.

Today, I cherish my new, growing relationship with myself. I look and listen lovingly to my needs and wants.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many persons look upon AA as something new and revolutionary whereas it is just the reverse. We have no new thoughts or doctrines and we have certainly discovered no new cures.

Our medications are those administered two thousand years ago. Our philosophies were borrowed, not word for word but in substance, from the Great Book our mothers read to us as children.

While science experimented for new and certain cures, we dug out the old but still potent prescription and administered it with sympathy and understanding. We can attest to the fact that it still works.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) What the devil presents to you is always a real pretty picture. But there is always one hellava price to pay.

2) Share with your sponsor the “take it to the grave” stuff.

3) Life sucks! (But in NA, life sucks one day at a time).

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Meeting Prayer No. 1

Our Father, we come to you as a friend.

You have said that, where two or three are gathered in Your name, there You will be in the midst. We believe you are with us now.

We believe this is something You would have us do, and that it has Your blessing.

We believe You want us to be real partners with you in this daily business of living, accepting our full responsibility, and certain that the rewards will be freedom, and growth, and happiness.

For this, we are grateful.

We ask You, at all times, to guide us.

Help us daily to come closer to you, and grant us new ways of living our gratitude.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GET BACK ON THE BEAM

Today most commercial flying is done on a radio beam. A directional beam is produced to guide the pilot to his destination, and as long as he keeps on this beam he knows that he is safe, even if he cannot see around him for fog, or get his bearings in any other way. As soon as he gets off the beam in any direction he is in danger, and he immediately rises to get back on the beam.

Those who believe in the Allness of God, have a spiritual beam upon which to navigate.

You are off the beam the moment you are angry or resentful or jealous or frightened or depressed; and when such a condition arises you should immediately get back on the beam by turning quietly to God in thought, claiming His Presence, claiming that His Love and Intelligence are with you, and that the promises in the Bible are true today. You are back on the beam and you will reach port in safety.

Keep on the beam and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

For this God is our God for ever and ever. He will be our guide even unto death (Psalm 48:14)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Active Ingredient

Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels and have not love, I am a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal.

~ Corinthians 13:1 ~

Have you ever read the list of ingredients on a tube of toothpaste or patent medicine? There is usually a long roll of chemicals, colorings, and additives, followed by bold letters: “Active Ingredient”—the one that really gets the job done and makes the item worth buying. Everything else is a filler or enhancer. Without the active ingredient, the stuff would be useless.

Love is the active ingredient of life, the chemical that makes everything else worthwhile. You can have all the other amenities, but if love is absent, you are lost. You can feel victimized or abandoned, but if you add love, suddenly life has meaning again.

I met a woman who owned a booming ski resort. “I have done very well financially for many years,” she told me. “But lately I have felt bored and irritable; my life and job seem to have no meaning. I meditated on my situation, and the answer that came was ‘more caring.’ I realized that my work had become distasteful because I had gotten caught up in the mechanics rather than the essence, which is taking care of people. So I rededicated myself to making my clients happy, regardless of the financial outcome. I even found ways I could reduce rates. Now my work is a delight, and I am even more successful.”

Have you retained the active ingredient, or has it slipped away? If so, ask yourself how your work, relationships, or spiritual path could be enhanced by bringing more heart to them. Rearrange your priorities to give care first, and all else will follow.

Show me how to truly care, that I may bring Your peace to my daily activities.

Love is my function. I am a servant of the heart.

[bluidkiti]

April 14

Step by Step

Today, Step Four to identify destructive and good character components, although this alone is insufficient. I also need to understand the reason for them, especially the bad, so that the behavior will not trigger actions of my character defects. It is not enough to say I am sorry that I thought ill of my father and that I failed to respect him. I need to ask why I did not respect him. Was I so selfish that I blamed him when he didn’t get me the new car when I got my driver’s license, or was it because he beat me when he was drunk – which might have been a lot? Similarly, if I identify a positive character trait, why do I think it is good? Is it because I sincerely want to be good or is it because I expect something in return, a marker to be called in down the road? Today, if I take my Fourth, I will try to understand it is not enough to name and ask my higher power to take away my character defects and hold onto the good without first knowing the reasons for them. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FEAR

F.E.A.R. = Frustration, Ego, Anxiety, and Resentment.

~ Anonymous ~

We don’t want to return to the life we led before recovery, but fear should never be the reason why we don’t. Fear keeps us from being open to the Program. If we’re only in the Program because we’re afraid of the old way of life, we’ll never pay attention and open our souls to learn about the new. We’ll be too busy looking back over our shoulders to make sure the old life isn’t creeping up on us.

We have to want the Program out of a desire for a new life, not out of a fear of the old. Positive thinking and behavior will be in charge if we are to make any character growth. Every fear encourages negative thinking that can destroy us. Guilt and shame come from the past, just like fear. If those feelings are what drive us, we will never grow.

I will make it a practice to take note of my fears. I will take an inventory of each fear until I understand what caused it. Then I will be able to find a way to work through them.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

God should be sought, but we cannot find God. We can only be found by God.

~ Henri Nouwen ~

In our spiritual development, we get to know the mysteries and paradoxes in our own lives that great thinkers have written about. True spiritual development is an ever-deepening lesson in powerlessness and letting go. We seek God, but our seeking is really only our preparation to receive God. We don’t make the willful decision to find God. We only decide to be open and to stop standing in the way of God’s purposes in our lives.

When a man falls asleep, sleep doesn’t come when he works at it. It comes only when, in his mind, he stops working at anything. He decides to go to bed and fall asleep but then he simply lies back and allows it to happen. If, in his mind, he is still busy working, he will not sleep. Something like that is true in all matters of letting go. We must learn how to stop getting in the way of spiritual influences in our lives, and our only power is to become entirely ready to receive them.

Today I will let go of my self-centered willfulness and be open to die greater powers at work.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Letting go of old hurts makes room for new joys.

~ Sefra Kobrin Pitzele ~

Dwelling on the painful past gets tiresome eventually, but some of us hang on to it longer than others do. However, seeing women move from the bondage of the past to the freedom of living in the present gives us hope. Once we let go of the pain, we discover far more joy in even ordinary experiences. That’s the real surprise.

We have heard sponsors say that when old doors close, new doors open. Letting go of old hurts in order to appreciate new joys falls into the same category. Why not fill our voids with joys rather than recollections of pain?

None of us know how long a life we’ll be blessed with. Accepting how tentative life is helps us decide to seek more joy and less pain. The decision is only the first step, however. Taking control of how we think is the necessary action.

I will experience more joy if I give less thought to old hurts today. The decision is mine, and I can make it and remake it if necessary.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am grateful for a good night’s rest

I had not been sleeping well for a while. Every night I would toss and turn. Then I’d wake up and try to fall back to sleep by watching TV or reading. It was hard to relax when I was so frustrated.

But I’m sleeping better now. I’ve made progress in therapy and got some good tips from my doctor—for example, get some exercise, take your meds at bedtime, avoid caffeine or cigarettes before bedtime.

Sometimes it still takes a while to fall asleep, and sometimes I still have troubling dreams. But usually I make it through the night without waking up. And for this I am deeply grateful. It sounds simple, but getting a good night’s sleep means a lot to me in my recovery.

I will than my higher power for my rest and carefully follow my doctor’s tips to improve my sleep.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Life is a grindstone. But whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.

~ L. Thomas Holdcroft ~

Self-destructive attitudes keep us stuck. Most of us develop destructive attitudes as children; as adults, we don’t know how to change. We repeat the same patterns over and over, each time feeling more out of control.

But now, in recovery, we’re learning to stop hurting ourselves. We’ve found people who’ve “been there” and can help us learn a new way to live. With our Higher Power’s help, we can turn over our fears and let go of old anger and depression. We’ve found a new beginning.

Making this change requires change in body, mind, and spirit. We’re beginning to take care of our physical needs, changing our mental attitude, and, with the help of our Higher Power, setting out for spiritual growth. We’re replacing self-destructive attitudes with new ones — one day at a time.

Today let me graciously ask for help to change my attitudes. Help me begin to believe in myself.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Living our pre-AA active daily lifestyle was akin to switching seats on the Titanic.

~ Anonymous ~

Instinctively, every living thing struggles to survive in a world that is not always pleasant and often falls short of being ideal. Even those who stood on the decks of the sinking Titanic, who knew in their heads and hearts that their deaths were imminent, clung desperately to any floating object in the hope that they would be rescued.

Recovery presents challenges that can seem over-whelming. You may ask, “How can I survive this?” You may feel, especially in the first few days, as if you are going to die. You may feel that you will fail. You may feel circumstances will never change for the better. But you have survived stressful and difficult times in the past. Although you used drugs or alcohol to numb traumas, past events taught you that you are physically, emotionally, and spiritually much stronger than you think.

Progress in recovery is not made by staying in the same circumstances and expecting them to change, but by changing yourself in order to change your circumstances. You are going someplace, and it may not always be easy to get there. But you have within you the strength to take you there.

The tools of the program give me the tools I need to be strong and to endure.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When they are alone they want to be with others, and when they are with others they want to be alone. After all, human beings are like that.

~ Gertrude Stein ~

We may get discouraged with ourselves because our moods change from one minute to the next. We may make plans for some event we really want to attend, then come right down to the time we’re supposed to leave and not want to go. We may feel content with our job one day, then want to quit and go back to school the next. “What’s going on?” we ask ourselves in frustration.

Because we’re happy and content one minute doesn’t mean we’re going to feel the same way later. When we’re starting on our recovery, our mood swings will be very dramatic. We aren’t accustomed to expressing our feelings, so it’s only natural that they all want to be heard at once.

It’s okay to change our feelings or opinions about something. As time goes on, our mood swings will lessen. But tonight, we need to remember we are growing and experiencing in a way we never have before. Patience with ourselves and our conflicting feelings will help us accept where we are.

I need to remember it’s okay for me to feel.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Discovering beauty

When we were using drugs we had only artificial vision, artificial experiences. We did not care how beautiful life was around us; we cared only about getting high and staying high. Now, as we grow in awareness, we are like little children discovering the world all over again.

We find there is more excitement in each discovery we make than there ever was in any high. We find that this excitement is real and that it cannot be taken from us.

Am I rediscovering the world around me?

Higher Power, I pray to stay clean and sober so that I can be present and fully aware.

Today I will look for the beauty in

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Showing up for life. Being blessed with the rebirth that recovery brings. One day at a time.

~ BETTY FORD ~

Newcomer

Chronologically, I’m a grown-up, but in some ways I’m far behind. It feels as if I’m growing up all over again.

Sponsor

Some people in the program say that our emotional devel-opment stopped at the point when we became active in our addictions: if we abused drugs beginning at age sixteen, then we’ve entered recovery with the emotional development of a sixteen-year-old.

That’s an oversimplification, but it points the way to a truth. Most of us enter recovery inexperienced at whatever aspects of our lives we avoided through addiction. We may feel awkward in social contexts; we may have missed out on education; we may not have found appropriate, fulfilling work. Some of us still have to learn the basics of self-care; others have numerous adult-world accomplishments, but no dependable sense of self-esteem. At times we may feel as if we’re part child, part adolescent, part mature person rolled into one.

We’re not stupid or shallow. We’re complex people, each with our own histories, strengths, and needs. We’re capable of profound change. Happily, we’re not alone in our struggles to mature and become integrated individuals.

Today, I have patience with myself as I learn more about who I am and how to live.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In Step Eight we “made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

It is a lot easier to list those persons whom we have harmed by some intentional and direct action than it is to list those whom we have hurt by acts of omission.

We have not only done those things which we ought not to have done, but we have left undone those things which we ought to have done.

Carelessness, neglect, lack of appreciation, and thoughtlessness can hurt as much as a kick in the teeth.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Serenity is God’s garden. The entrance is though our hearts.

2) We together can do what I alone cannot.

3) HOPE: Hearing Other Peoples’ Experiences

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Meeting Prayer No. 2

Our Heavenly Father, we ask Your blessings on this meeting.

Please bless the spirit and the purpose of this group.

Give us strength to follow this Program according to Your will and in all humility.

Forgive us for yesterday, and grant us courage for today and hope for tomorrow.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CLAIM YOUR NOURISHMENT

I had an amusing experience when I first came to America. Passing an attractive-looking restaurant, I went inside, and selecting a table, sat down and waited. Nothing happened. I continued to wait. All around me, people were enjoying their food, and only I was left out. After a while the truth dawned on me—I was in a cafeteria. (This system had not yet made its appearance in England.) I then realized that while there was plenty of food to be obtained, one had to go forward and claim it for oneself, or go without.

The universe is run exactly on the lines of a cafeteria. Unless you claim—mentally—what you want, you may sit and wait forever.

Ho, everyone that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat . . . (Isaiah 55:1)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Perfect

Heaven is not a place, and it is not a time. Heaven is being perfect.

~ from Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach ~

I used to think I was a perfectionist,” Larry confessed. “I was constantly finding flaws and errors that other people overlooked. If there were many aspects of a job that were well done and one that wasn’t, I would point out that one. But now I realize I was an imperfectionist. If I was a perfectionist, I would have found perfection everywhere I looked; instead, I saw only imperfection.”

Whatever we focus on, we will find more of. The world we live in is the one we choose by virtue of the vision we use. Are you a perfectionist or an imperfectionist?

Jack and his wife Elaine were waiting in a lineup of cars on the Cross Bronx Expressway, sandwiched in an alternate merge at a construction zone. “This is hell!” Jack complained inwardly. “We’re creeping along at a snail’s pace.”

Then Elaine pointed out, “Isn’t this wonderful!”

“What’s so wonderful about this?” Jack asked.

“It’s really inspiring to see how people are cooperating here. One car goes ahead from this lane, and then one from the other lane. It shows me that people know how to work together when there is a challenge.” We can discover good in any situation if we choose it.

Help me find You in the events of daily life.

I am committed to beauty, and I find it everywhere I look.

[bluidkiti]

April 15

Step by Step

Today, focus on rebuilding a positive and realistic self-esteem if I doubt or fear moving on because I think I may fail. In recovery, there is little to fear because we have already been through the most fearful place of all. But if I am afraid that I will stumble, fall short of a goal or cannot do what I must, I risk not only stagnation but possibly relapse if my self-confidence is so poor that I deceive myself into thinking sobriety offers little more than what drinking provided. And I cannot compare myself and where I am in recovery to anyone else, either to reinforce my poor self-esteem or to mitigate it. If I need more than the guidance of my higher power to overcome reluctance or fear to move ahead, I can compare myself to where I was before recovery. Today, fear and worry will not disable me from progressing. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LESSONS FROM PAIN

The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.

~ Anonymous ~

Today we are living free from compulsions and addictions, but that happiness won’t ever let us forget the times we cried from pain. We went through a lot of suffering in order to surrender. All that suffering wouldn’t matter if we hadn’t become willing to make a spiritual change. We learned valuable lessons from the pain.

In recovery, we learn that pain changes our lives. We gain an understanding of honest values from our suffering. Until we stopped hurting, we couldn’t make progress toward a richer life and appreciate the gift of love and service.

I have learned that happiness is getting away from suffering. Even to crave happiness is painful. Finding happiness helps me get rid of pain and find peace of mind.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

~ Doug Larson ~

Life is never just one thing. It is quite possible to feel optimistic and happy even when some things are not right with us. An optimistic outlook gives us energy to handle the harder things that we have to deal with. Research shows that people who have a positive attitude have a stronger immune system, are healthier, live longer, and are even more likely to recover from serious illness.

To believe in hopeful outcomes is largely a matter of choice. Many of us have experienced big disappointments and defeats in life. But having come this far, we can look back and see that somehow we had the capacity to deal with it. The Second Step guides us to believe in hopeful possibilities. We can’t say that things will al-ways turn out just the way we hope, but that we can cope with whatever happens.

Today I choose to believe that a Power greater than myself can help me deal with life, and I have reason to be optimistic.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Work for justice. Struggle for forgiveness.
Choose love.

~ Patricia Benson ~

Justice, forgiveness, and love sound far loftier than they are. Developing these qualities requires only that we live as we think God wants us to live. It’s as simple as that. Admittedly, when we have wanted to punish a significant person in our lives, we have often preferred “justifiable” anger or resentment over love. However, the emotional hangover that has followed the expression of our outrage has diminished any pleasure we might have gained.

Our inclination to forgive other people and our-selves, coupled with our decision to love rather than punish those who irritate us, seems to grow daily. Our changed perspective comes from our willingness to grow in recovery. We can be as peace-filled and as loving as we want. We’re in charge!

I will stay in control of who I am today. I can fulfill God’s wishes.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to channel my anger

I have a short fuse again these days. Suddenly I feel like I want to explode, like I want to smash things. I wish I knew what sets me off—work? My illnesses? I don’t feel like myself. It scares me and I wish I could cool off.

When I told my therapist I was concerned about my strong feelings, she began by assuring me that it’s OK to be angry, for whatever reason. She explained that anger itself is not an issue, it’s what I do with it. Then we explored ways to release my anger in order to stay balanced, safe, and strong. Dealing with resentment and anger are important issues in my recovery.

I will ask my higher helper for courage to accept my anger and deal with it in a healthy way.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I know all except myself.

~ Francois Villon ~

We’ve all had friends who give wonderful advice to everyone but themselves, and we all have a little of that in ourselves, too. It’s so easy to sit back and see what other people do wrong with their lives. The missteps and mistakes are so clear, the triumphs so obvious to us. Sometimes we give advice; other times we simply observe.

When it comes to our own lives, we’re often masters of denial. We can’t see what we’re doing at all. We bumble along thinking we’re doing one thing, only to discover when it’s too late that our real behavior has been quite different.

But we’re luckier than most people; we have a program of recovery that helps us realize what we’re doing before it’s too late. With the help of our Twelve Step program, our Higher Power, and our sponsor, we can get a “bird’s-eye-view” of where we are, how we’re doing, and how we can change to live a better life. With help from our Higher Power, we can risk taking a clear look at ourselves. And one day at a time, we’ll come to understand ourselves, our motives, and our behavior better. We may never know ourselves as well as we’d like, but now we can begin the exciting search for self-awareness, honesty, and serenity.

Today help me seek the truth about myself without fear or denial.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Mercury and the Woodsman

A woodsman was chopping trees for firewood, but lost his grip and watched the axe sail into a nearby river. He began to weep, for without his axe he could not keep his house warm or cook food.

Mercury decided to help and dove into the river. He brought up a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” Mercury asked, but the woodsman shook his head. Mercury dove again and brought up a silver axe. “Is this your axe?” he asked, but the woodsman again shook his head. Then Mercury brought up a weather-beaten wooden axe. The woodsman told him, “That is my axe,” Mercury rewarded the woodsman’s honesty by giving him two more axes.

The next day, the woodsman told his story to a friend.

The friend went to the river, tossed in his axe, and began to weep. Mercury dove into the river and brought up a golden axe. The man eagerly held out his hand for the axe. But Mercury knew the man was lying and returned the golden axe to the water, leaving the man with none.

The moral of the story: Honesty is the best policy.

When you embellish the truth or make up stories, the less trust others will have in you.

I will be truthful in my words and actions at all times.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way. A Higher Intelligence than the mortal sees the road before us. We do not have to strive for good, but only to go forward and possess it. Good awaits us at every step.

~ Charles B. Newcomb ~

Remember how energized we feel after a good night’s sleep, and how a sunny morning helps us forget the bad thoughts of yesterday? We can feel that same energy and sense of hope right now even though the night is here. The Higher Power we prayed to this morning for strength, hope, and guidance for the day is with us right now, ready to help us relax tonight.

Take a moment to look upon nightfall as a new beginning. Think of new things to do tomorrow. Try a new meeting or volunteer for a group activity. Resolve to start a Fourth Step inventory or ask someone we respect to be our sponsor. New beginnings can happen, if we keep our eyes and ears and hearts open to the messages of our Higher Power.

What good things would l like to have happen to me? How can I use my Higher Power to help me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Relying on faith

With our newfound recovery, we may find ourselves facing new situations with confidence. Our confidence must be supported by faith, however.

When trials arise, we realize how power-less we are and our confidence may crumble. Only faith can rescue us. Confidence is men-tal and emotional; faith is spiritual. Let us examine ourselves and see whether we are relying on confidence or on faith.

Is my faith strong enough?

Higher Power, increase my faith and courage so that I may face life’s trials.

I will seek to deepen my faith today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The readiness is all.

~ WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ~

Newcomer

I went to two different Step meetings this week, in different parts of town, and both of them were on the Fourth Step. I keep hearing that “there are no coincidences.” Does this mean I’m supposed to start the Fourth Step now? How do I know if I’m ready?

Sponsor

First of all, I’m glad to hear that you’re going to Step meet-ings, and I encourage you to keep it up. Your willingness has brought you a long way already, and it continues to be the key.

In approaching a new Step, I find it useful to ask myself if I’ve taken the Steps that precede it in a complete, whole-hearted way.

I review Step One and remember why I’m on this path of recovery in the first place: addiction brought me to spiritual depths I don’t want to sink to again.

Reviewing Step Two reminds me that I’m not alone, and that I have faith that I’ll be given what I need to become a whole and free person again.

Step Three reminds me that I’ve made a decision. I’m willing to do what’s necessary for recovery and to trust the process. I remember that I only have to do my part; my progress in recovery isn’t entirely up to me. My Higher Power will do the rest. When I reach Step Four, I trust that in the process of writing about the events of my addictive life, I’ll be taken care of.

Today, I bring willingness and an open mind to the next step in my recovery. I relax and trust that I am not alone.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Men may call themselves atheists, agnostics, unbelievers, or what have you, but the fact still remains that man must believe in something.

If he thinks his own presence here on earth is simply an accident in the forces of nature, then he must believe that the forces of nature are able to create him with all his delicately adjusted organism. To do this the forces of nature would need to have intelligence in a very high degree and in addition there must be a tremendous creative force to carry out the dictates of that intelligence. He, himself, could not do this so this force of nature is superior in a vast degree to himself. Bingo! He has found the God of his understanding, let him call Him what he may.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Align your actions so they are in agreement with the picture you paint of yourself at meetings.

2) AA: Experience the difference, where the difference is experience.

3) The difference between a rut and a grave is its depth.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Meeting Prayer No. 3

God bless this meeting and the members gathered here tonight.

Help us to make this group a haven of strength and comfort, giving to all who seek help here the beauty and friendliness of home, which shall be as a shield against temptation of all kinds and against loneliness and despair.

Bless those who are going forth from this house to fight the gallant fight, to know suffering, and bless those who come here to rest, those who must readjust themselves to face life once more.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CLAIM YOUR WINGS

To me the butterfly teaches the most important lesson that we human beings ever have to learn. You all know his story. He lived what seemed to him a very long time as a worm—what we call the humble caterpillar. Now the life of a caterpillar could be taken as the very type and symbol of restriction. He lives on a green leaf in the forest, and that is about all he knows.

Then one day the little caterpillar finds certain stirrings going o within himself. The old green leaf, for some reason, no longer seems sufficient. He becomes moody and discontented, but—and this is the vital point—it I a divine discontent. He feels the need for a bigger, finer, and more interesting life. His instinct tells him that where there is true desire there must be fulfillment.

And so the wonderful thing happens: the butterfly emerges beautiful, graceful, now endowed with wings, and instead of crawling about on a restricted leaf, he can soar above the trees, above the forest itself—free, unrestricted, his own True Self.

. . . Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the thing which God hath prepared for them that love him (Corinthians 2:9)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

How to Bless the IRS

Love is the only power. Love is the only way.

~ Rabbi David Zeller ~

As Alice was writing checks to pay her bills last April, she penned a note of blessing on the memo line of each check, as is her custom. When Alice came to the check due to the Internal Revenue Services (IRS) for her tax payment, she asked herself, “Do I really want to bless the IRS? Would anyone there receive the gift?”

After some reflection, Alice decided that there are no exceptions to the law of love. “Perhaps,” she reasoned, “the IRS is in greater need of blessing than most of the other people and companies I am paying.” On the memo line of her check, Alice inscribed, “Peace and joy be with you.”

Several months later as Alice was going through her canceled checks, she noticed the check she had sent to the IRS. On the back of the check, below the institutional stamp, she read these words, written by hand: “And with you, too!”

Somehow Alice’s blessing found its way to someone’s heart. Consider what a gift this was to the person who received it! The IRS is probably not the most delightful place to work. Hardly anyone enjoys paying taxes, and I expect that IRS employees are not the recipients of many blessings from their constituents. Can you imagine the pleasant surprise of the person who processed that check? Perhaps it changed her entire day. Perhaps that person went on to offer some extra kindness, caring, or forgiveness to the next person she dealt with. I am certain that Alice’s blessing went a long way.

Any activity in life can be elevated to the level of blessing. The situations we encounter are templates upon which we imprint our heart’s intentions. Every moment we make the choice between love and fear. Nothing in this world is outside the power of transformation by way of a loving heart. When we choose love, we bring the world closer to heaven. Fear makes the world hell. The choice is ours.

Help me to remember that everyone I encounter is a child of God who will respond to pure love.

I use all situations as opportunities to prove and celebrate the power of love.