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[ashm1234567]

Hi I am struggling with addiction I feel very sad and disappointed. God has been so good to me and I continue to let him down. I believe in his grace, love and mercy I know he forgives me but I'm having a hard time forgiving myself.

[MajestyJo]

Welcome to the site ashm. Thank you for sharing. There is a lot of recovery material here and I hope you will continue to come and share with us.

For me, it was one day at a time. Just for today, I choose not to use, no matter what and praying for the good orderly direction to see me through the next twenty-four hours. Give thanks for a day clean and sober and wake up and start a new day. It wasn't about the past, it was about who I wanted to be in today. I had to deal with the path as it came up, with the help of a sponsor and working the 12 Steps. I did what was suggested, go to meetings, get a home group, get a sponsor (a temporary one until I connected with one I could relate to), and learn to apply the Steps to my life one day at a time.

If you are new, you need to work on Step One. Forgiveness, defects of character, and past issue come in Steps 4-9. The program worked for me. I still live it one day at a time. Each day is a new beginning, a start toward who my God would have me be in today.

[bluidkiti]

ashm, So glad to have you join us here. I hope you will continue to come and share with us. We are here for you.

[markala]

Originally Posted by ashm1234567

Hi I am struggling with addiction I feel very sad and disappointed. God has been so good to me and I continue to let him down. I believe in his grace, love and mercy I know he forgives me but I'm having a hard time forgiving myself.

Just work the 12 steps as they are outlined in the first 164 pages of the big book and I promise you -- no I will give you my personal commitment -- that your struggle with addiction will no longer exist and you will learn how to forgive yourself.

[MajestyJo]

Hope you have continued to come to the site. A lot of it is willingness, and if we can't find it, we pray for the willingness to be willing.

I was in big denial about my alcoholism, and always knew I was an addict. I didn't realize that one drug will take me to another one and substitution doesn't work.

The program suggestions, go to meeting and when you are sick and tired of going to meetings, run don't walk to the nearest one. Keep coming back.

[jfreeman]

God Knows your Heart, just be open and willing and desire... delight yourself in Him and He will give you the desire of your heart. In Him is no condemnation .... He is for you not against you to good and a new life and future just on step first today and then another one day at a time welcome and give your self a break and keep coming back...people here love and help each other .... you will not be disappointed have faith and trust in the Lord and He will do great things in your life more than you could ever think above and beyond your imagination.