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March 16

Step by Step

Today, if I believe that alcohol plunged me to depths deeper than I have ever been, I can also believe that AA can lift me to heights I have never known. The journey begins with the first four words of the program: “Admitted (I am) powerless …” Although the program is there for the taking, what I take from it will be only as good as I put in it, and the work of investing in my recovery starts when I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired, when I can’t live with myself any longer because all I have done won’t let me forget, when I accept responsibility for what I have done to myself and others, when I understand that sobriety means more than abstinence and when I understand that there is no easier or softer way to get sober. Today, I am ready to begin achieving a height I have never experienced, and the beginning is in the words, “Admitted (I am) powerless.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ATTENDING MEETINGS

Three suggestions for speaking at meetings: be interesting, be brief, be seated.

~ Anonymous ~

The meetings we attend are like stones for the foundation of recovery. Some meetings we give more than we take; others, we take away more than we give. We always win either way. We remember that when we are called on to speak, we are but a fellow traveler. What makes us unique is not our pretty face, interesting voices, or important jobs. It is our story, the exact way we are experiencing our recovery.

Our lives are much more interesting than our opinions. When we share our actual experiences, people take much more away than if we just shared an idea. We are normally long-winded with an opinion and short-winded with an actual illustration. When we address a group we are humble. It is only by the grace of God that we are asked to share with the group.

At meetings I will share my recovery experiences and not my opinions.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We are who we are, shaped and molded by the times, by the events, and by the persons we encounter on our way, and no one ever changes very much or escapes entirely from that mold.

~ Ruth Casey ~

Everything we experience today is woven with all that has gone before. We are a tapestry in progress. We grow and change, heightening some of our patterns, successfully diminishing others, and maintaining still others. We need feel no shame for this person we’ve become; we’ve done our best. From this point forward, with the help of the program, our Higher Power, and the wonderful friendships that sustain us, we will add many new colors and stronger threads to the tapestry that continues to be us.

Even though there is often much we want to change in ourselves, there is much that will and should stay the same. Let’s trust that God will guide our efforts in changing those traits that deserve our attention now, leaving the rest for another time. We have been loved, guided, and protected even though we are not perfect. That will be true always.

All that has gone before will help me handle whatever today offers. I am in God’s keeping now and forever.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can start a list of people I have harmed

I find it hard to acknowledge that I’ve hurt other people through my dual disorder. It seems I can remember only my own pain, whether due to my addiction or my emotional illness.

But in working the first seven Steps, I see more clearly that, indeed I have hurt loved ones and others. It’s just hard to admit it. I’m afraid that if I start thinking about my past behaviour I’ll get depressed again or I’ll feel guilty enough to drink. I know that I need to be strong and stable when I begin writing the list. And I will trust my higher power to help me.

Today I will start my Eighth Sep by putting just one name on the list.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

No one has ever done anything too bad to be forgiven.

~ Ruth Sheppard ~

When we learn to forgive ourselves, we grow, spiritually and emotionally, in leaps and bounds. As we loosen our noose of self-loathing, we begin to breathe with a new sense of energy and purpose. No longer tied by the shackles of self-hate, we are able to see the world as friend instead of foe.

We each have a choice about how we view the world. Do we see it as friendly or unfriendly? Do we expect people to be safe or unsafe? Wounded by life, we may find it difficult to forgive ourselves and others. A willingness to forgive ourselves for real and imagined wrongs is like taking a fresh drink of water. Nothing parches and dries out the heart faster than the shame of self-loathing. Nothing refreshes and rejuvenates like self-love.

Living in today we begin with the simple wish to love ourselves better. Nurturing a friendship with ourselves gives the world a friendlier feel.

Today let me trust that I am lovable and worthy of the same forgiveness I would wish for others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else—you are the one who gets burned.

~ Buddha ~

Anger is, in its essence, a protective response to a perceived hurt. The key word is perceived. More often than not, there is no need to protect yourself. But that does not mean your anger should be ignored. When you have a hard time going with the flow, you can say or do hurtful things. When you feel sensitive and others offer advice, you may push them away. When you are at a heightened level of stress or worry, anything that happens or is said to you can be like a match lit to your short fuse. All these things create a life of chaos—both for yourself and for others.

Deal with your anger by talking about what makes you feel angry. Be aware of what can spark anger, and practice a mental countdown during such times. Take a deep breath and count backwards from ten. When you do this, you can replace anger with calmness and focus.

Until you acknowledge there is a price you pay from the fallout caused by your anger, you will not seek ways to effectively change your behavior.

Today I will use a mental countdown whenever I feel angry.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Few begin with anything like a clear view of what they want to do, and the fortune they seek may come in a very different form from that which they have kept in view.

~ The Independent, August 1898 ~

Take a look at the most focused and purposeful people we know, and we’ll find one common trait. Al-though most worked toward some goal, they all simply began without knowing what would happen. Christopher Columbus set out to prove the world wasn’t flat, not to discover the New World. Alexander Graham Bell was fascinated with recording and projecting human voices, not creating a worldwide communications network.

What those people share is the fact that they started. They didn’t just sit back and dream. They chose an objective and had faith to begin and follow through, despite repeated failures and years of work. We can dream and fantasize to our heart’s content. But we will never realize our aspirations until we take that first step.

What would I like to achieve? Higher Power, I ask for faith to take the first step toward this achievement.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Giving up possessiveness

Gradually we begin to see that everything be-longs to God. As long as we strive to possess, we are not free. It is possible to simply use things without possessing them. Ownership is really only stewardship, and whatever is in our care must be used for the good.

But this doesn’t mean we won’t have what we need. If we first seek the spiritual in life, we will not go wanting, and we will discover that less is more.

Am I giving up my possessiveness?

Higher Power, help me to keep in mind that the air which sustains me is not mine.

Today I will select two of my possessions to give to charity; they are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Falling in love.. .is as much a drug as any that people swallow, snort, smoke, or shoot.

~ ANDREW WEIL ~

Newcomer

I’m attracted to another newcomer who goes to some of the meetings I go to. I can’t help it; I just can’t get this person out of my mind. My heart pounds when we’re in the same room, and I can barely concentrate.

Sponsor

More than once in early recovery, I became intensely pre-occupied with thoughts of another person. In each case it was someone I didn’t know well, but felt attracted to. Like you, I could hardly think about anything else. Though I was certainly distracted, I stayed sober. I went to lots of meetings—not always for the best reasons! These intense romantic preoccupations were something I have since learned to call obsession. Obsession doesn’t have much in common with the process of getting to know others and letting them get to know me.

We can learn something about ourselves by paying attention when an obsession starts taking over our mental space. Is some feeling—anger, fear, or sadness, for example- making us uncomfortable? Obsession can function to keep us “safe” from the present reality. Our addictions served the same function when we were active.

Today, I practice staying in the moment. I reach out to other newcomers in the spirit of friendship.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The dollar is worth but about half its value of only a few years ago. Capital gains taxes have depreciated all properties by twenty-five percent. Moneys invested in stocks and bonds can be swept away between dawn and dark. The sound investment of today can be a white elephant on your hands tomorrow.

Your dollars invested in the rehabilitation of human souls are the only investment that can’t lose. The dividends are paid whether the project fails or not. This way you can’t fail to win.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) HALT: Horny, Arrogant, Lazy, and Tragic

2) We’re responsible for the effort, not the outcome!

3) My gratitude speaks when I care and share the NA Way

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Prayer for Healing

Higher Power,

You have told us to ask and we will receive, to seek and we will find, to knock and You will open the door to us.

I trust in Your love for me and in the healing power of Your compassion. I praise You and thank You for the mercy You have shown to me.

Higher Power, I am sorry for all my mistakes. I ask for Your help in removing the negative patterns of my life. I accept with all my heart Your forgiving love.

I ask for the grace to be aware of the character defects that exist within myself. Let me not offend You by my weak human nature, or by my impatience, resentment, or neglect of people who are a part of my life. Rather, teach me the gift of understanding and the ability to forgive, just as You continue to forgive me.

I seek Your strength and Your peace so that I may become Your instrument in sharing those gifts with others.

Guide me in my prayer that I might know what needs to be healed and how to ask You for that healing.

It is You, Higher Power, whom I seek. Please enter the door of my heart and fill me with the presence of Your spirit now and forever.

I thank You, God, for doing this.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LETTER OR SPIRIT

Jesus made a special point of discouraging the laying of emphasis upon outer observances; and, indeed, upon hard-and-fast rules and regulations of every kind. What he insisted upon was a certain spirit in one’s conduct, knowing that when the spirit is right, details will take care of themselves. Yet, in spite of this, the history of orthodox Christianity is largely made up of attempts to enforce all sorts of external observances upon the people.

Who also hath make us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit; for the letter kelleth, but the spirit giveth life (2 Corinthians 3:6).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

ILVU4FR

The trick, according to Chiang, was for Jonathan to stop seeing himself as trapped inside a limited body with a forty-two inch wingspan….The trick was to know that his true nature lives, as perfect as an unwritten number, everywhere at once across space and time.

~ from Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach ~

Robert signed Janet’s senior yearbook in the above personal shorthand, meaning: “I love you forever.” Shortly after graduation, the two married and bore a beautiful son, Teddy. Robert was offered a good job and flew to New York for the interview, from which he called with the exciting news that he had been hired. Tragically, he never arrived home; he was killed by a drunk driver. Several months later, Janet’s funds were dwindling and her life looked hopeless. Four-year-old Teddy was drawing with crayons one day when he said, matter-of-factly, “Daddy,” and wrote “ILVU4FR,” followed by “MDTNBK34STBX1142.”

Janet took the paper to Robert’s business partner and the two decoded: “Midtown Bank on 34th St.” Remembering Robert’s business trip, Janet dipped into her small savings and flew to New York. There she found Midtown Bank and learned that Robert had taken a safe deposit box, in which she found a life insurance policy for $200,000.

A very thin veil separates the physical world from the world of spirit. While everything on earth seems solid, it is interpenetrated with other dimensions that we can perceive with higher vision. If necessary, we can communicate with those in spirit, and they with us.

Love has the power to span dimensions. If you have a dream or the sensation of departed loved ones, it is likely that they are in your field of consciousness and wish to communicate with you. There is nothing spooky about interdimensional communication; it is as real and natural as two people on different parts of the globe communicating via telephone.

Open your mind and heart to a greater universe, and be blessed by love from all dimensions.

Open my eyes, mind, and heart to the highest communication in spirit.

Everyone I love is always with me.