[bluidkiti]

December 21

Daily Reflections

LISTEN, SHARE AND PRAY

When working with a man and his family, you should take
care not to participate in their quarrels. You may
spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100

When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I've given in
to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that's
inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong
reaps its own benefits. The best I can do - and it
sounds easier than it is to put into practice - is to
listen, share personal experience, and pray for others.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Have I ceased being inwardly defeated, at war with
myself? Have I given myself freely to A.A. and to the
Higher Power? Have I got over being sick inside? Am I
still wandering mentally or am I "on the beam?" I can
face anything, if I am sure I am on the way. When I am
sure, I should bet my life on A.A. I have learned how
the program works. Now will I follow it with all I
have, with all I can give, with all my might, with all
my life? Am I going to let A.A. principles guide the rest
of my life?

Meditation For The Day

In this time of quiet meditation, follow the pressure of
the Lord's leading. In all decisions to be made today,
yield to the gentle pressure of your conscience. Stay or
go as that pressure indicates. Take the events of today
as part of God's planning and ordering. He may lead you
to a right decision. Wait quietly until you have an inner
urge, a leading, a feeling that a thing is right, a
pressure on your will by the spirit of God.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that today I may try to follow the inner pressure
of God's leading. I pray that I may try to follow my
conscience and do what seems right today.

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As Bill Sees It

Neither Dependence nor Self-Sufficiency, p.265

When we insisted, like infants, that people protect and take care of
us or that the world owed us a living, then the result was
unfortunate. The people we most loved often pushed us aside or
perhaps deserted us entirely. Our disillusionment was hard to bear.

We failed to see that, though adult in years, we were still behaving
childishly, trying to turn everybody--friends, wives, husbands, even
the world itself--into protective parents. We refused to learn that
overdependence upon people is unsuccessful because all people
are fallible, and even the best of them will sometimes let us
down, especially when our demands for attention become
unreasonable.

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Walk In Dry Places

Keeping the Faith with Guidance
Good Orderly Direction
Does guidance from our Higher Power always come through? We must believe that it does, even when we don't seem to receive a visible answer.
Spiritual guidance usually doesn't come as we think it should. What we're likely to find instead is that over time, a number of unrelated events come together for a good purpose. Although this appears to be chance or coincidence, very important outcomes often develop from simple happenings___ maybe just from meeting someone on the street.
We can never really determine how any chain of events will play out. The best we can do is to continue seeking guidance while following the highest principles in our program. Many chance happenings will be recognized as guidance when we look back at an entire chain of events.
My best way to seek guidance is simply to remember today that my life and affairs are in God's care and keeping. The highest good will come from this.

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Keep It Simple

Don't give your advice before you are called upon. Desiderius Erasmus
If someone wants your advice, the person will ask for it. That's one reason why in Twelve Step programs we don't go around trying to talk people into joining. But people will ask us for advice. They'll see how we've changed, and they'll want what we have. All we have to do is tell them where we found it--in AA, NA or another Twelve Step group. We don't tell them what to do. We tell them our own story--what it was like, what happened, and where we are now. And we invite them to join us.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me carry the healing message of the program to these who ask for advice.
Action for the Day: I'll make a decision to spend time with the next person who ask for my help.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of her abilities, and no more . . . --Gail Hamilton
We have been given the gift of life. Our recovery validates that fact. Our pleasure with that gift is best expressed by the fullness with which we greet and live life. We need not back off from the invitations our experiences offer. Each one of them gives us a chance, a bit different from all other chances, to fulfill part of our purpose in the lives of others.
It has been said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. Full encounter with each moment is evidence of our trust in the now and thus our trust in our higher power. When we fear what may come or worry over what has gone before, we're not trusting in God. Growth in the program will help us remember that fact, thus releasing us to participate more actively in the special circumstances of our lives.
When we look around us today, we know that the persons in our midst need our best, and they're not there by accident but by Divine appointment. We can offer them the best we have--acceptance, love, support, our prayers, and we can know that is God's plan for our lives and theirs,
I will celebrate my opportunities for goodness today. They'll bless me in turn.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

BILL'S STORY

The real significance of my experience in the Cathedral burst upon me. For a brief moment, I had needed and wanted God. There had been a humble willingness to have Him with me---and He came. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. And so it had been ever since. How blind had I been.

pp. 12-13

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

Because I'm An Alcoholic

This drinker finally found the answer to her nagging question, "Why?"

I needed a drink to go anyplace--to the theater, a party, a date, and later, to work. I would leave my apartment, lock the door, and start down the stairs, and then turn around and go back in for another drink to get me where I planned to go. I needed a drink to do anything--to write, to cook, to clean the house, to paint the walls, to take a bath.

p. 341

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

But in A.A. we slowly learned that something had to be done about our vengeful resentments, self-pity, and unwarranted pride. We had to see that every time we played the big shot, we turned people against us. We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.

p. 47

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Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When
you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
--Arnold Schwarzenegger

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
--Buddha

In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes
the circle and comes back to us.
--Flora Edwards

As long as I am willing, God will always provide the answers. No one said I would like
them, but I accept them.
--Shelley

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo the fatigue of
supporting it."
--Thomas Paine

Sobriety is a journey of joyful discovery.

Recovery is not a race.

Every recovery from alcoholism began with one sober hour.

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

ORIGINALITY

"Originality exists in every
individual because each of us
differ from the others. We are all
primary
--numbers divisible only by
ourselves."
Jean Guitton

For too many years I tried to be "the same" as other people; matched their styles,
repeated their words, did what they wanted, lived to please a crowd of people I did
not really know and they certainly did not know me! I said other people's prayers,
quoted other people's opinions and memorized the ideas of others and I felt
empty.

Today I value the lives of others but I am slowly beginning to explore my place in this
universe. Today I accept the "specialness" that is me; that uniqueness makes me
God's miracle. Now others are listening and benefiting from my life.

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For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light
(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out
what pleases the Lord.
Ephesians 5:8-10

On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what
must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you
read it?" He answered: "`Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your
soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, `Love your neighbor as
yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
Luke 10:25-28

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Daily Inspiration

Growth is not easy. It comes from fully experiencing each situation and mastering it with understanding. Lord, Your presence in my life dispels my fears and guides me through all of life's circumstances.

Today be cheerful when it is difficult and patient when that, too, is difficult. Lord, I will let Your love for me flow through me and touch those around me.

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NA Just For Today

Acceptance And Change

"Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves."
Basic Text pg. 56

Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there's no chance of becoming the people we'd like to be. That's when our defense mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite extreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change.

Whether we are long-time NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don't have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we've found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change.

Just for today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance needed to change.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I came to see the damage that was done and the treasures that prevail. --Adrienne Rich
It takes great courage to face ourselves--to look honestly and fearlessly at our behavior, especially if we have done and said things we are not proud of. We may have caused a lot of sadness in our own and others' lives. It's not easy to look at.
But let's remember, too, that what we do and say is not all of who we are. And let's also look at the treasures in ourselves--those things we have said and done that have brought great comfort, joy, and love into the lives of others.
Beneath the negative parts of ourselves, deep within us, is a kernel of good. Let's look for that as well, and water it so it can grow--so we can grow into the persons we are meant to be.
What is the best part of me, and how can I share it today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
He not busy being born is busy dying. --Bob Dylan
An old story has been told of men in the program asking an alcoholic who had a slip, "What Step were you working on at the time?" The man who slipped was not working on any Step, and that is part of how he lost his sobriety. The message of the story is that when we are not busy being born spiritually, we are losing ground. It is essential to always be focusing our attention on one of the Steps. Each time we work a Step again, we are at a new place in life, and the Step will inspire something new in us just as it did the first time.
Although we may know the program well, keeping it as our center protects us from being reactive to the events and pressures in our lives. We are less likely to feel overwhelmed by situations or react with shame or anger. As long as we live, we are in need of being renewed.
Today, I will choose one of the Steps and think about its meaning for me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of her abilities, and no more . . . --Gail Hamilton
We have been given the gift of life. Our recovery validates that fact. Our pleasure with that gift is best expressed by the fullness with which we greet and live life. We need not back off from the invitations our experiences offer. Each one of them gives us a chance, a bit different from all other chances, to fulfill part of our purpose in the lives of others.
It has been said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. Full encounter with each moment is evidence of our trust in the now and thus our trust in our higher power. When we fear what may come or worry over what has gone before, we're not trusting in God. Growth in the program will help us remember that fact, thus releasing us to participate more actively in the special circumstances of our lives.
When we look around us today, we know that the persons in our midst need our best, and they're not there by accident but by Divine appointment. We can offer them the best we have--acceptance, love, support, our prayers, and we can know that is God's plan for our lives and theirs,
I will celebrate my opportunities for goodness today. They'll bless me in turn.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Balance
Strive for balanced expectations of others. Strive for healthy tolerance.
In the past, we may have tolerated too much or too little. We may have expected too much or too little.
We may swing from tolerating abuse, mistreatment, and deception to refusing to tolerate normal, human, imperfect behaviors from people. Although it's preferable not to remain in either extreme too long, that is how people change - real people who struggle imperfectly toward better lives, improved relationships, and more effective relationship behaviors.
But if we are open to ourselves and to the recovery process, we will, at some time, begin another transition: it becomes time to move away from extremes, toward balance.
We can trust ourselves and the recovery process to bring us to a balanced place of tolerance, giving, understanding, and expectations - of others and ourselves.
We can each find our own path to balance as we begin and continue recovery.
Today, I will practice acceptance with others and myself for the way we change. If I have had to swing to the other extreme of a behavior, I will accept that as appropriate, for a time. But I will make my goal one of balanced tolerance and expectations of others and myself.


Today I seek spiritual understanding beyond everything else. I choose peace and love and joy as my goals. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Reduce Your Stress

“Stress can be caused by many things,” a man, a healing professional, said. “It can be caused by toxins in the air, by food, work, money, or love. And sometimes tension and stress are caused by reacting to old beliefs– the messages in your mind.”

We can’t always eliminate the situations that produce stress. Some stress in life is inevitable; it is part of being alive. Stress is often the impetus that moves us forward into growth, into emotional release and healing, into awareness and change.

While we can’t and don’t want to eliminate all the stress in our lives, we can reduce its impact. We can eat foods we respond well to. We can monitor the quality of the air we breathe in many situations. We can leave a work or love situation that has become too stressful, or we can take better care of ourselves in those situations we choose to stay in.

And we can work on changing stress-producing beliefs within ourselves. I can’t measure up. I can’t get the job done. I won’t be liked. I can’t trust myself. Many of these beliefs are outdated reactions to other times in our lives, and now we know we have the power to change them.

What’s causing stress in your life? Do the things you can to reduce stress in your life. Reduce as much toxicity in your environment and in yourself as you can.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Lose those expectations

So you meet someone, become infatuated, date, and allow your mind to create an exaggerated image of that person. Soon you find that he’s your soul mate. You don’t want to live without him; he means everything to you. And then he stumbles, somewhere around three months, maybe six months. He fails to meet your expectations.

He loses soul mate status.

“You just aren’t the person I thought you were,” you say, walking out the door.

Of course he isn’t. He’s a person, not a figment of your imagination. Lighten up. Let each person be themselves.

When we’re with someone, either as a friend or as a lover, a good deal of the success or failure of the relationship can be traced to our expectations. We get angry when we expect someone to behave in a certain way and he or she doesn’t. We feel cheated, lied to, and disappointed. Here we stacked all of our chips on a certain number coming up, and when it doesn’t, we get mad.

Lose those expectations. If you enjoy another person’s company, then enjoy it cleanly and without expectations. People are people. They will stumble, they will get back up again– or not. You cannot control them. All you can do is learn from them, love them, and enjoy their company when they’re around.

Drop the expectations. Allow people to just be themselves. Appreciate them for why they are. Let the love that you have for them grow out of that appreciation, instead of out of what you expect in what writer Natalie Goldberg calls “your monkey mind.”

God, help me remember that when I lose my expectations I just might find real love.

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Listening with Your Heart
Less Thinking and More Feeling by Madisyn Taylor

When we begin to listen with our hearts rather than our heads, our whole world changes and becomes softer.

Most of us were born and raised in cultures that value the head over the heart and, as a result, we place our own hearts below our heads in a sort of inner hierarchy of which we may not be conscious. What this means is that we tend to listen and respond from the neck up, often leaving the rest of our bodies with little or no say in most matters. This is a physical habit, which sometimes feels as ingrained as the way we breathe or walk. However, with effort and awareness, we can shift the energy into our hearts, listening and responding from this much deeper, more resonant place.

The brain has a masterful way of imposing structure and order on the world, creating divisions and categories, devising plans and strategies. In many ways, we have our brains to thank for our survival on this planet. However, as is so clear at this time, we also need the wisdom of our hearts if we wish to continue surviving in a viable way. When we listen from our heart, the logical grid of the brain tends to soften and melt, which enables us to perceive the interconnectedness beneath the divisions and categories we use to organize the world. We begin to understand that just as the heart underlies the brain, this interconnectedness underlies everything.

Many agree that this is the most important work we can do at this time in history, and there are many practices at our disposal. For a simple start, try sitting with a friend and asking him to tell you about his life at this moment. For 10 minutes or more, try to listen without responding verbally, offering suggestions, or brainstorming solutions. Instead, breathe into your heart and your belly, listening and feeling instead of thinking. When you do this, you may find that it’s much more difficult to offer advice and much easier to identify with the feelings your friend is sharing. You may also find that your friend opens up more, goes deeper, and feels he has really been heard. If you also feel great warmth and compassion, almost as if you are seeing your friend for the first time, then you will know that you have begun to tap the power of listening with your heart. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Each of us in The Program can, in our own time and own way, reach the triumphant spiritual awakening that is described in the Twelfth Step. The spiritual awakening is a deep-down knowledge that we are no longer alone and helpless. It’s also a deep-down awareness that we’ve learned certain truths which we can now transmit to others so that perhaps they, too, can be helped. Am I keeping myself in constant readiness for the spiritual awakening which is certain to come to me as I practice The Steps and surrender my will to God’s will?

Today I Pray

May I be steady, not expecting that my spiritual awakening will startle me like an alarm clock into sudden awareness of a Higher Power. It may settle on me so quietly that I may not recognize precisely when my money of awareness comes. The clue may come in my desire to Twelfth_Step others. May I realize, then, that I have accepted the principles of The Program and am at home with the spiritual transformation I feel in myself.

Today I Will Remember

My spiritual awakening is my first private moment with God.

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One More Day

To know after absences the familiar street and road and village and house is to know again the satisfaction of home.
– Hal Borland

Home is a word that carries all kinds of meanings for us. For the majority, home has always been our anchor — the place where we can go even when we have had the worst possible of all days. Home usually means love, but it certainly means security and comfort.

As the years go by we understand that home has little to do with a physical structure. It can be a tiny apartment or an elaborate mansion. Or — better still — it can be the special comfort and security we feel within ourselves. It is , after all, what we bring to it and to the people around us. Home is, and always has been, where our heart is.

My home acts as one of the roots of my life, and it has all the qualities that I bring to it.

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Food For Thought

Paradoxes

Our program contains some surprising paradoxes. When we admit that we are powerless, we can receive Power. When we accept what we do not like, it begins to change. As long as we remember we are sick, we can continue to recover.

The key to these paradoxes is our willingness to believe in a Higher Power. By ourselves, we are weak, ineffectual, and sick. When operating in accordance with the will of the Power greater than ourselves, our potential is limitless.

Until we admit defeat, we will not succeed with the OA program. The biggest defeat is the one that is dealt to our illusions of self-reliance and self-sufficiency. As long as we insist on trying to control our lives by ourselves, we will be confused. It is by relinquishing control that we gain strength and are freed from our compulsion and obsession. We save our lives by giving them away.

May I accept the paradoxes that I do not understand.

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One Day At A Time

BABY STEPS
"I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble."
Helen Keller
(born Helen Adams Keller (1880 – 1968)
American author, activist and lecturer
and the first deafblind person to graduate from college).

From as far back as I can remember, I believed that, in order to be worthy or loved, I had to achieve great things. It didn't matter what it was but I set out to be the best at whatever I did, hoping that would make me feel better. Whether it was academic or one of the many diets or diet clubs I tried, it was the same story, and failure was totally unacceptable. Delayed gratification was definitely not part of my vocabulary, and so things had to be done or achieved in record time. If I wanted something done, it had to be done today, if not yesterday. Everything I did was done compulsively. I was, as one person in a meeting described, a "human doing," not a "human being".

Of course the things I could never really achieve were permanent weight loss and the serenity that comes with recovery. These seemed to elude me when I first came into the program, mainly because I expected to do it perfectly and in a very short time. After all, I had lost weight before, and quickly too. I had to realize that recovery is not a race, that this is a journey, not a destination. I don't have to do it all in one day, nor do I have to be the best at it. All I need to do is to take baby steps, one day at a time, and I will recover as God wills me to do. I just need to put one foot in front of the other and do what is before me. Recovery is cumulative and I build on it, day by day.

One Day at a Time . . .
I do the footwork and put my trust in my Higher Power, believing that, as I do what I need to do for today, God's healing power will come to me in the form of recovery.
Sharon S.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. - Pg. 59 - How It Works

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

There is a certain universality to the truths taught in our 12 step programs. They are nothing new. These principles are derived from eons of experience and spirituality. What is new is our personal understanding that living these principles gives us a reprieve from our addiction.

Thank you God, as I understand You, for my daily reprieve from addiction based on my sincere attempt to practice these principles.

Standing in Self

Today, I own the truth of my recovery. If I am to stand centered and strong within my life and self, I will need to plant a garden within my own soul. A garden for me to nurture and to nurture me. A haven of beauty. I will find my own voice and sing my song because if I don't sing it, it will not be sung. It is all I have and it is enough. I do not need to prove anything to anyone anymore. I have come home - to me. The truth is, I was here all along, only I forgot to look for myself. Instead, I searched for me in other people's meaning and became lost in their stories. I am not lost today. I know that there is nowhere to look for me but within myself, and no one to lead me there but me.

Thank you, life, for letting me see this.
- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

When working Steps Six and Seven we honestly have to ask ourselves 'Do I really want to give up the defect? Or do I just want to give up the result of the defect?'

Being an alcoholic does not give me the excuse to act alcoholically.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

You can be a human being-you don't have to be a human doing.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I trust God's plan for me today. I know that I am being guided at all times. I know all I need to know in any given moment.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Knowing why I was an alcoholic doesn't help. The ship hits an iceberg, it's sinking, everyone is rowing away. But you're on the deck saying; 'I'm not leaving this baby until I understand what happened.' - Clancy I.