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Daily Recovery Readings - March
March 1
Daily Reflections IT WORKS It works -- it really does. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 88 When I got sober I initially had faith only in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Desperation and fear kept me sober (and maybe a caring and/or tough sponsor helped!). Faith in a Higher Power came much later. This faith came slowly at first, after I began listening to others share at meetings about their experiences -- experiences that I had never faced sober, but that they were facing with strength from a Higher Power. Out of their sharing came hope that I too would -- and could -- "get" a Higher Power. In time, I learned that a Higher Power -- a faith that works under all conditions -- is possible. Today this faith, plus the honesty, openmindedness and willingness to work the Steps of the program, gives me the serenity that I seek. It works -- it really does. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When I find myself thinking about taking a drink, I say to myself. "Don't reach out and take that problem back. You've given it to God and there's nothing you can do about it." So I forget about the drink. One of the most important parts of the A.A. program is to give our drink problem to God honestly and fully and never to reach out and take the problem back to ourselves. If we let God have it and keep it for good and then cooperate with Him, we'll stay sober. Have I determined not to take the drink problem back to myself? Meditation For The Day Constant effort is necessary if I am to grow spiritually and develop my spiritual life. I must keep the spiritual rules persistently, perseveringly, lovingly, patiently, and hopefully. By keeping them, every mountain of difficulty shall be laid low, the rough places of poverty of spirit shall be made smooth, and all who know me shall know that God is the Lord of all my ways. To get close to the spirit of God is to find life and healing and strength. Prayer For The Day I pray that God's spirit may be everything to my soul. I pray that God's spirit may grow within me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Brain Power Alone?, p. 60 To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too smart for our own good. We loved to have people call us precocious. We used our education to blow ourselves up into prideful balloons, though we were careful to hide this from others. Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone. "Scientific progress told us there was nothing man couldn't do. Knowledge was all powerful. Intellect could conquer nature. Since we were brighter than most folks (so we thought), the spoils of victory would be ours for the thinking. The god of intellect displaced God of our fathers. "But John Barleycorn had other ideas. We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-time losers. We saw that we had to reconsider or die." 12 & 12, pp. 29-30 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Danger in excitement____Mood alterations The lure of excitement is hard to understand. While we may think of ourselves as sensible, practical people, the hard truth is that many alcoholics have a strong need to feel excited. This excitement can take many forms, and some of them are dangerous. One lure of excitement comes through the impulsive need for change. Some of us have had weird habits of suddenly quitting jobs and pulling up stakes for no reason other than being bored. An even more destructive attraction is the belief that a new romance can restore our zest for living and bring new joys and happiness. The sober truth is that nobody can live sensibly and sanely by seeking continuous excitement and stimulation. We are better off with steady growth in the patterns we know best than with seeking excitement that finally leads to destruction. At the same time, we should not belittle the pleasures and joys we get through ordinary living. If we earn those pleasures and joys through responsible actions, they will give us far more happiness than momentary feelings of excitement. In quietness and confidence is our strength. I do not need to be excited in any way today. I am more effective and more in control when I am not being swayed by feverish emotion that distorts my judgment. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Made the decision to turn our will and lives over to God as we understand Him.--Step Three Care. This is what turn our will and lives over to care of our Higher Power. What peace follows! We see our God as caring, as loving. We turn everything over to this Higher Power, who can take better care of us than we can by ourselves. Care can guide us. If we want to do something, we can ask ourselves, "Would my Higher Power see this as an act of care?" If the answer is yes, then we go ahead. If the answer is no, we don't it. If we can't be sure, we wait and talk it over with our friends and sponsor. We wait until we know whether it would be an act of care or not. What wonderful guidance! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I give to You my will. I give to you my life. I gladly jump into Your loving arms. Action for the day: Today, I'll care about others. I'll find as many as I can to care for others. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave. --Frances Marion Each experience we have plays its part in the total picture of our lives. The steps we have taken, the path we travel today, and our direction tomorrow are not by chance. There is a pattern. We each have a destiny. We may have veered off the path in the past, and we may veer off it again. But we'll be guided back, and our paths intersect. None of us is traveling alone. We have each other and the creative force that is at the helm. When we look around us and reflect on how our lives are influenced by the persons close to us, we become aware that our presence affects their lives as well. Most of us could never have predicted the events that have influenced us. Nor can we anticipate what the future may hold. We can be certain, however, that we are safe; a power greater than ourselves is orchestrating our affairs. There were times we feared we'd never survive an experience. Perhaps we still struggle with fears about new experiences. But every experience adds a necessary thread to the pattern our life is weaving. We have the gift of reflection. We can understand, today, the importance of particular events of the past. Next month, next year, we'll understand today. I shall enjoy the richness of today. My life is weaving an intricate, necessary pattern that is uniquely mine. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Let him tell you about it: “I was much impressed with what you fellows said about alcoholism, and I frankly did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again. I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned. I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that I would therefore be successful where you men failed. I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard. p. 40 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. For the last four years I lived alone in a small house. The ceiling of one room had collapsed, and plaster dust was everywhere, coating the garbage and newspapers littered the floor. Empty food cartons, beer cans, bottles, and dirty clothes lay where they were tossed. I had gotten a cat because the mice were out of control. But I was not conscientious about cleaning up after the cat. It is not surprising that I had few visitors and neighbors tended to avoid me. p. 363 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." But when we have taken a square look at some of these defects, have discussed them with another, and have become willing to have them removed, our thinking about humility commences to have a wider meaning. By this time in all probability we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or anxiety--in other words, to all of us--this newfound peace is a priceless gift. Something new indeed has been added. Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity. p. 74 ************************************************** ********* Those who laugh...last. --Cited in BITS & PIECES Don't give up before the miracle happens. "When I dig another out of trouble, the hole from which I lift him is the place where I bury my own." --Chinese proverb "Winners do what they have to do and losers do what they want." Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind. --Bruce Lee "The spiritual journey, the path of recovery and personal growth, is a detoxification process in which we bring up and out the negative beliefs we have carried with us from the past and that now poison the present." --Marianne Williamson "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -- Blaine Lee Sometimes there are no answers, there are only examples. --Mark Kostew Part of intimacy with God is listening. --Lori Sweety ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation UNDERSTANDING "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, but believe that thou mayest understand." -- Saint Augustine Today I understand that God is love and that it makes more sense to live my life with love than with anger, resentment and despair. I know that the answer to life, with all the problems that may arise, is love. Not simply loving those people who love me, but beginning to love and understand those who dislike or hate me. Being imperfect people in an imperfect world produces enemies. Today I love my world by listening to my critics, changing unreasonable attitudes, growing in the humility that comes from silence. Change is part of God's blessing of love. This I believe. This I understand. And step by step it is beginning to work in my life. May my love for the world give me an understanding of self. ************************************************** ********* "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord." Psalm 31:24 "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15 "Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31. But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Matthew 4:4 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you look for things that make you happy, those are the things that you'll find. Lord, help me remember how lucky I am to be alive and how much goodness surrounds me. Determination and faith will carry you through to your goals. Lord, You and I together can accomplish my dreams. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Anxiety Attack? "[The] Power that brought us to this program is still with us and will continue to guide us if we allow it." Basic Text, p. 26 Ever had a panic attack? Everywhere we turn, life's demands overwhelm us. We're paralyzed, and we don't know what to do about it. How do we break an anxiety attack? First, we stop. We can't deal with everything at once, so we stop for a moment to let things settle. Then we take a "spot inventory" of the things that are bothering us. We examine each item, asking ourselves this question: "How important is it, really?" In most cases, we'll find that most of our fears and concerns don't need our immediate attention. We can put those aside, and focus on the issues that really need to be resolved right away. Then we stop again and ask ourselves, "Who's in control here, anyway?" This helps remind us that our Higher Power is in control. We seek our Higher Power's will for the situation, whatever it is. We can do this in any number of ways: through prayer, talks with our sponsor or NA friends, or by attending a meeting and asking others to share their experience. When our Higher Power's will becomes clear to us, we pray for the ability to carry it out. Finally, we take action. Anxiety attacks need not paralyze us. We can utilize the resources of the NA program to deal with anything that comes our way. Just for today: My Higher Power has not brought me all this way in recovery only to abandon me! When anxiety strikes, I will take specific steps to seek God's continuing care and guidance. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next. --Ursula LeGuin The world around us changes constantly. Trees turn from green to beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and brown in the fall. Yet, even if we watched the trees carefully, every minute of the day, we could not actually see the colors change. Change requires time, preparation, and patience. To make the changes we want, we need to let go of unhealthy but comfortable patterns that we're stuck in, the way the trees let their colors change and finally let go of their leaves altogether. We can't have total change right now, no matter how much we want it. It's important to accept both who we are now and who we are becoming. Just as the tree trusts without question that its leaves will grow and lets go of them when the time comes, we can believe in our own power to grow and let go of our accomplishments when the time is right. When we do, we can be assured that our lives will blossom again, like trees in the spring coming to life after a cold winter. Do I have any new blossoms today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. As my fathers planted/or me, so do I plant for my children. --The Talmud The first seeds of this spiritual program were planted years ago by men who also were desperately in need. Rather than restrict their attention to their own painful circumstances, they broke through to a new creative idea - it is in helping others that we help ourselves. They reached out eagerly to help fellow men and women in need. In the process they carried the message to others and found new healing relationships for themselves. This program, which is saving our lives, is here because men before us were willing to reach out and pass it along. We inherit countless resources and teachings from both our biological and our "foster" fathers in this program. The gift of a spiritually full life inspires and requires us to do as they did - pass it on. We keep the benefits of our recovery, not by holding on to them, but by planting new seeds from our harvest for those who come after us. I will give freely of my time and resources because the giving enriches me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Letting Go of Anger In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, its an emotion were all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, its okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe. . .. Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. Its also a beneficial one if its not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish or abuse people. Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes, its the final burst of energy before letting go, or acceptance, settles in. And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesnt have to be justified. It usually cant be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle our energy or ourselves. We don't have to feel guilty whenever we expense anger. We dont have to feel guilty. Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for our behaviors. I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that appropriately and safely. Today I will feel good about myself and accept myself just the way I am. I am open and ready to discover all the miracles of this day. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************ Journey to the heart for March Find Healing and Magic Within Yourself She was an Osage shaman. Her land, next to Cathedral Rock in Sedona, Arizona, was landscaped with a totem pole, a fire pit, a bridge leading to her house, and a garden of flowers and rocks. A river ran across her property, singing to all who quieted themselves enough to listen. A teepee stood close by, one used to house the sweat lodge ceremonies. It was during one such ceremony I had met her. I returned later to talk with her for a while. She welcomed me back, welcomed all who visited her to return to her land. She didn’t call it her land, she called it the land. She said it belonged to us all. “You don’t have to take this journey,” she said. “You don’t have to travel around searching for spiritual spots. All the wisdom, the experiences, the spiritual places you seek on this quest are within you.” While it’s fun to go on a trip, and trips often coincide with going to new places in our personal lives, we don’t have to load up the car and hit the road to find what we’re looking for. The places of power we seek are within us. Places of comfort, joy, wisdom, silence, healing, peace. The places we visit often reflect those qualities, reinforce them, remind us that they’re there. But the places, the locations we visit, are only mirrors, extensions of ourselves. The healing and magic we seek are not someplace else. They are within each of us. ************************************************ More Language Of Letting Go Learn to say whatever “Do you have issues with drama addiction?” I asked my daughter one day, in a serious interviewer kind of voice. “Of course I do,” she said. “I’m the original drama queen.” “Can I interview you about it?” I asked. There was a long pause on the phone. “I’ve got a better suggestion,” she said. “Why don’t you interview yourself?” I’ve been addicted to many things this lifetime– alcohol, heroin, morphine, Dilaudid, cocaine, barbituates, Valium, and any other substance that physically or psychologically promised to change the way I feel. I’ve been addicted to caffeine, tobacco and nicotine– cigarettes and Cuban cigars– and opium and hashish,too. I’ve been caught up in other people’s addictions to these substances as well. Some people might say I have an addictive personality. I don’t know if I agree with the concept that we can become addicted to people, but if the folks say you can are right. I’ve probably been addicted to certain of those,too. But of all the addictions possible on this planet, I’ve found my addiction to drama absolutely the hardest to recognize, accept, deal with, and overcome. The rush of emotional energy I feel from drama at the theater, on television (small or big screen), in a book, and most preferably acted out in real life (mine) is the last legal, legitimate jones that society allows. It’s not politically correct to smoke, act out sexually, be a nonrecovering alcoholic, or shoot drugs. But despite all the evolution in consciousness that’s unfolded and gotten us to this point, drama addiction is more than politically correct. Drama addiction is in. Right now, for many people, it’s one of the only things giving meaning to life. Potential guests line up, volunteering to have their relationship and court battles– things which once were guarded secrets– broadcast on international cable and satellite TV. Our society can’t wait to peek and snoop into their lives. Broadcasting real-life soap operas guarantees the ratings will soar. In 1999, I wrote the above words in a chapter on drama addiction in my book called Playing It By Heart. But the concept of drama addiction, and transcending it, has been around for a long, long time. In 1937, author Emmet Fox wrote an essay in Find and Use Your Inner Power. The essay’s title was “Don’t Be a Tragedy Queen.” “Self pity, by making us feel sorry for ourselves, seems to provide an escape from responsibility, but it is a fatal drug nevertheless,” he wrote. “It confuses the feelings, blinds the reason, and puts us at the mercy of outer conditions. … Don’t be a tragedy queen– whether you are a man or a woman, for it is not a question of gender but of mental outlook. Absolutely repudiate a crown of martyrdom. If you cannot laugh at yourself (which is the best medicine of all), at least try to handle the difficulty in an objective way, as though it concerned somebody else.” Maybe the antithesis to being a drama king or queen has been around even longer than that. Three tiny Buddha statues sit before me on my writing desk. One is Serene. One is Smiling. One is Sorrowful, doubled over in compassion for the world. All you can see is the top of his head. “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you,” Jesus said. “Nirvana is a state of consciousness,” wrote Anne Bancroft, in an introduction to the Dhammapada, a book containing the teachings of Buddha. Enlightenment and paradise aren’t places we visit. They’re within our hearts and heads. Say, “It’s a nightmare,” if you must. Even say, “Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening, much less happening to me.” But whether you say the words with calmness and serenity, bursting with laughter or a mere giggle, or doubled over with compassion for the pain of the world, learning to speak the language of letting go in the days, months, and years of the millennium ahead means learning to say whatever,too. ************************************************ Decorating Life The World as Home by Madisyn Taylor Each day we choose to decorate our life just as we do our homes. There are few things more thrilling than having a new house or an empty room to decorate. Our imaginations soar as we consider the many possibilities. In the same way, our lives offer us the opportunity to express ourselves within various contexts, to ask ourselves questions about what we want to see as we move through our days and how we want things to flow. Some people do this instinctively, moving through the various environments they inhabit and shifting the energy with their presence. These people have a knack for decorating life. This can be as simple as the way they dress, the way they speak, or the fact that they always bring a bouquet of wildflowers when they come for a visit. As we move through the world, we make a statement, whether we intend to or not. We shift the energy one way when we enter a room dressed elegantly and simply, and another when we show up in bright, cheerful colors and a floppy hat. One is not better than the other. It is simply a question of the mood we wish to create. What we wear is just one choice we can focus on. The way we speak to people, or touch them, shifts the energy more profoundly than almost anything else. The words we speak and the tone in which we say them are the music we choose to play in the world that is our home. Some of us fill the space with passionate arias, others with healing hymns. Again, one is not better than the other. We are all called to contribute. Just as we consciously create an environment within our homes, we can consciously choose to decorate life itself with our particular energy. Ideally, in doing so, we express our deeper selves, so that the adornments we add to the world make it more meaningful, more beautiful, and as welcoming as a beloved home. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Now that we’re free and no longer chemically-dependent, we have so much more control over our thinking. More than anything, we’re able to alter our attitudes. Some members of Alcoholics Anonymous, in fact, choose to think of the letters AA as an abbreviation for “Altered Attitudes.” In the bad old days, I almost always responded to any optimistic or positive statement with “Yes, but…” Today, in contrast, I’m learning to eliminate that negative phrase from my vocabulary. Am I working to change my attitude? Am I determined to “accentuate the positive…”? Today I Pray May I find that healing and strength which God provides to those who stay near Him. May I keep to the spiritual guidelines of The Program. Considering the Steps, taking the Steps — one by one — then practicing them again and again. In this is my salvation. Today I Will Remember To practice at least one Step. ************************************************ One More Day There is no way to peace. Peace is the way. – A. J. Muste So often we look for the easy answers and quick remedies. We want to reach our goals — now. Whatever we’re looking for (peace, love, acceptance) we may be making the mistake of seeing these qualities as concrete, hold-in-my-hand goals. Gradually, we’re coming to the understanding that those qualities we seek are not destinations; they are paths and directions; we can consiously take. We can’t go out and find love, but we can choose to be loving. There is no path to peace or to acceptance or to understanding, but we can base our lives on these qualities, and by doing so we claim them. What I seek may already be within my soul. ************************************ Food For Thought Other People's Problems Sometimes we wear ourselves out trying to solve another person's problem. Is this not perhaps a form of egotism? We feel that somehow we should have all the answers and be able to find a solution to every problem, especially when someone close to us is in trouble. We may be sympathetic and supportive and helpful, but we cannot play the role of God in another person's life. Even our children must learn from their mistakes, just as we continue to learn from our own. If I trust my Higher Power to lead and direct me, then surely He will also direct my family and friends. The best thing I can do for anyone else is to maintain my own sanity and sobriety. If I eat over a problem--whether it is mine or yours or ours--then I am less able to deal with it. There are times when no solution seems forthcoming, when an unfortunate or tragic circumstance must be accepted and lived with in the best manner possible. We may not be able to change the circumstance, but we can be sure that God will give us the strength to deal with it. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ANONYMITY Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. Albert Camus When I first joined OA, the tool and tradition of Anonymity seemed a little strange to me. What’s wrong with people knowing what members do for work? I’m not ashamed of my career, why should I not talk about it? What’s with this cult-like behavior around initials for names? And what do they mean by Anonymity being the spiritual foundation of recovery? And then, bit by bit, it dawned on me. When we don’t talk about our jobs, when we don’t care about our last names, three very important things happen. First, we don’t get distracted. Second, it makes us all equal. Third, it starts us on the road of leaving judgment behind. An Elizabeth is just an Elizabeth, whether she’s a queen, a unemployed single mother or an actress. The equality that comes with that means that I am not more or less, not better or worse than you. This equality strengthens our unity. We are all in the same boat. And with this equality we can row in unity towards recovery. One day at a time ... I will remember that my fellow OA members are my equals, that I can let go of judgment, and that the freedom that comes with this helps me concentrate on recovery. ~ Isabella ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that's exactly what this book is about. It's main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. - Pg. 45 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote You transform into your own best ally as you face your fears. Humanity's greasiest fear is the fear of death, physiologists tell us. The death of your addiction is forcing you to confront how close you brushed by death and in this confrontation an equally potent force will rise up to meet your fear and demonstrate your courage. Even in the face of fear and death my true ally inside arises to demonstrate my courage. Healing Light I am surrounding myself with healing light. I am inviting a warm, yellow/white light to surround me. I breathe it in deeply into all parts of me and I breathe out any lingering fear or darkness. Healing energy is quietly pulsing in and around me, imbuing me with a feeling of well being. I allow this energy to fill each pore of my body. This healing energy has its own intelligence and I become one with it and direct it towards those parts of me that need healing. I rest in this vibrating yellow-white light and let it fill me, surround me and make me well. Even the act of allowing this lifts me up. I am filled with healing energy - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Even when it hurts like hell, hold fast. The pain is the arrow coming out, not the arrow going in. Faith is not about trusting a God who will rescue you from arrows but trusting in the process. Faith will center you, not rescue you. As the pain and fear pass, I hold fast. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you believe the Big Book, live it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will feel good about myself and accept myself just the way I am. I am open and ready to discover all the miracles of this day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It takes a whole lot of medicine darlin', for me to pretend I'm somebody else.- 'Guilty' Randy Newman. |
March 2
Daily Reflections HOPE Do not be discouraged. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 60 Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat. Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Over a period of drinking years, we've proved to ourselves and to everybody else that we can't stop drinking by our own willpower. We have been proved helpless before the power of alcohol. So the only way we could stop drinking was by turning to a Power greater than ourselves. We call that Power God. The time that you really get this program is when you get down on your knees and surrender yourself to God, as you understand Him. Surrender means putting your life into God's hands. Have I made a promise to God that I will try to live the way He wants me to live? Meditation For The Day Spirit-power comes from communication with God in prayer and times of quiet meditation. I must constantly seek spirit-communication with God. This is a matter directly between me and God. Those who seek it through the medium of the church do not always get the joy and the wonder of spirit communication with God. >From this communication comes life, joy, peace, and healing. Many people do not realize the power that can come to them from direct spirit-communication. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may feel that God's power is mine. I pray that I may be able to face anything through that power. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Resolving Fear, p. 61 Fear somehow touched about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did we not often set the ball rolling ourselves? << << << >> >> >> The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 67-68 2. Grapevine, January 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Do we need some Fear? Courage It's easy to get into an argument about the role of fear in our lives. Some say that we need some fear…. It helps us get out of the path of an oncoming truck. Is that really true? If it is, it's still not like the fear that was present with alcoholism. This fear was more likely to make us freeze and lose all power of action in the face of a threat. It was the sort of fear that paralyzes us, making us unable to move out of the way when the truck is bearing down on us. Fear is even more destructive when it keeps us from doing the simple things we need to function in our lives. Fear certainly can't be helpful when it makes us unable to face a new customer or ride in an airplane for necessary business travel. Some people even put off medical exams simply because they fear bad news… and thus delay treatment, so that their condition becomes worse. We might not need to get rid of all fear, but we do need to dispose of the unhealthy kind that keeps us from necessary actions on our own behalf. A really strong sense of the program can help me deal with fear today. One good idea for coping with fear is to remember that if God is for us, nobody can really be against us. Keeping that thought in mind can help stabilize our feelings in the face of threatening situations. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Love conquers all; let us surrender to love.---Virgil In Step Three, we turn our lives over to God's care, God love. If we turn our lives over to a loving God, we can conquer all. If you need proof, look around at your next meeting. The room will be full of people who know that love conquers addiction. Like them, we've surrendered to love. Once we've done this, we can't use again. For us, using alcohol or others drugs is an act of hate, not love. To Face the hard things in life, we'll need a lot of love. We'll find love in our Higher Power, groups, and friends .We're all working at turning our lives over to love. Prayer for the Day: There was a time that love scared me. It still does, at times. Higher Power, help me see that You are love, and I must follow where love takes me. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. --Erica Jong There was a time when we didn't believe we had any talents. We couldn't imagine we had any purpose or any gift to give to the world. But it's true: We all have talents, many of them. If we each haven't yet discovered ours, we soon will. With time and the Steps and friends, we will be encouraged to recognize them, to celebrate them, to cultivate them, to dare to give them away. Utilizing our talents fully, which is part of life's bigger plan, may lead us to new jobs, new friends, to places presently unknown. The prospect of new horizons may excite us. It may also elicit dread. We can trust that, just as we are given no problems too big to handle, we are given no talents too great to develop. The strength to move ahead will always be available if we have faith. And the program offers us faith. I will look for my talents today. I will also look for talents in my friends. I can celebrate them, and soon the way to use them will become clear. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “In this frame of mind, I went about my business and for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about that. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. pp. 40-41 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. The last few months were filled with fear and self-pity. I began to comtemplate suicide with increasing regularity, yet I was afraid of dying. I remember thinking that this life would go on and on, never getting better and slowly fading away to nothing. p. 363 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." This improved perception of humility starts another revolutionary change in our outlook. Our eyes begin to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as from a plague. We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was always our solution. Character-building through suffering might be all right for saints, but it certainly didn't appeal to us. p. 74 ************************************************** ********* The alcoholic is in no greater peril than when he takes sobriety for granted. God, help me remember that letting go is a powerful behavior, one that can change my life and impact the lives of others. Help me be patient with others and myself as letting go becomes a way of life. --Melody Beattie Laughter, like a drenching rain, settles the dust, cleans and brightens the world around us, and changes our whole perspective. --Jan Pishok A big part of my "conversion" has been full acceptance of myself, warts and all. --Mary Zink God is all around us, all the time. --Martha Leonard "Let us always be open to the miracle of the second chance." --Reverend David Stier ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation INTEGRITY "Men of integrity, by their very existence, rekindle the belief that as a people we can live above the level of moral squalor." -- John Gardner I understand integrity to be a willingness to make sacrifices for what we believe to be true. The living of a spiritual program must lead to integrity. Not so many years ago integrity was not an understood word in my vocabulary because of my unwillingness to make sacrifices. I was so selfishly preoccupied with my "wants" that I gave little thought to the needs of others. The more I lost myself in "self", the greater was the emotional pain. Today I live the paradox that it is only in giving that I truly receive. May I daily express the paradox of sacrifice in my life. ************************************************** ********* But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Of Him 1 Peter 2:9 "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalms 27:14 "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4 In quietness and in trust shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15 [God] is not far from each of us. Acts 17:27 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Speak to God openly and honestly from your heart and then do not allow yourself to worry. Lord, You are my protection and my provider when I put my trust in you. Keep yourself young in spirit always by thinking new thoughts and getting rid of old habits. Lord, may my spirit never become frail and my abilities never become barren. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Success "Any form of success was frightening and unfamiliar." Basic Text, p. 14 Before coming to NA, few of us had much experience with success. Every attempt to stop using on our own had ended in failure. We had begun to give up hope of finding any relief from active addiction. We had grown accustomed to failure, expecting it, accepting it, thinking it was just part of our makeup. When we stay clean, we begin to experience success in our lives. We begin to take pride in our accomplishments. We start to take healthy risks. We may take some knocks in the process, but even these can be counted as successes if we learn from them. Sometimes when we fulfill a goal, we hesitate to "pat ourselves on the back" for fear that we will seem arrogant. But our Higher Power wants us to succeed, and wants us to share with our loved ones the pride we take in our accomplishments. When we share our successes with others in NA, they often begin to believe that they can achieve their goals as well. When we succeed, we help lay the groundwork for others who follow in our path. Just for today: I will take time to savor my successes. I will share my victories with an "attitude of gratitude." ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a balloon ready to burst. If not released, it can make us depressed, or even physically ill. When we give ourselves permission to feel anger, we are better able to get rid of it in a healthy way. Our inner voice can tell us how to let go of our anger. And once we've released it, we can easily get in touch with the feelings that caused it. When we recognize our anger for what it is--one feeling among many others that makes us unique--it loses its significance, and we can prevent it from consuming us. Indira Ghandi said, "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." When we let go of our anger we can honestly embrace each other with open arms. Am I carrying around anger which could be released today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The fir tree has no choice about starting its life in the crack of a rock.... What [nourishment] it finds is often meager, and above the ground appears a twisted trunk, grown in irregular spurts, marred by dead and broken branches, and bent far to one side by the battering winds. Yet at the top ... some twigs hold their green needles year after year, giving proof that - misshapen, imperfect, scarred - the tree lives. --Harriet Arrow We often wish we had been born into better circumstances or blame our parents for our problems. Like the fir tree we could say, "If only I had taken sprout in a fertile meadow, life would be easier." "If only I had had a better life as a boy . . ." "If only I didn't have my particular hardships . . ." By accepting the facts of our own lives, we mature into feelings of joy and pleasure alongside our griefs. Every man has to struggle with his own unique set of circumstances, even if they are not fair. Fairness is not an issue. Reality is what we have to deal with. I will accept life on its own terms and rejoice in it. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Feelings on the Job Im furious about my job. Another man got a promotion that I believe I deserve. Im so mad I feel like quitting. Now my wife says I should deal with my feelings. What good will that does? He still got the promotion. --Anonymous Our feelings at work are as important as our feelings in any other area of our life. Feelings are feelings - and wherever we incur them, dealing with them is what helps us move forward and grow. Not acknowledging our feelings is what keeps us stuck and gives us stomachaches, headaches, and heartburn. Yes, it can be a challenge to deal with feelings on the job. Sometimes, things can appear useless. One of our favorite tricks to avoid dealing with feelings is telling ourselves its useless. We want to give careful consideration to how we deal with our feelings on our job. It may be appropriate to take our intense feelings to someone not connected to our workplace and sort through them in a safe way. Once we've experienced the intensity of the feelings, we can figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves on the job. Sometimes, as in any area of our life, feelings are to be felt and accepted. Sometimes, they are pointing to a problem in us, or a problem we need to resolve with someone else. Sometimes, our feelings are helping to point us in a direction. Sometimes, they're connected to a message, or a fear: Ill never be successful. . .. Ill never get what I want. . .. Im not good enough. . . . Sometimes, the solution is a spiritual approach or remedy. Remember, whenever we bring a spiritual approach to any area of our life, we get the benefit. We wont know what the lesson is until we summon the courage to stand still and deal with our feelings. Today, I will consider my feelings at work as important as my feelings at home or anywhere else. I will find an appropriate way to deal with them. Today I am letting go of all energy that is resisting the truth about me. That energy is being replaced with positive and loving energy, and I am accepting that I am okay just the way that I am. I am now open to see the miracle of love in my life. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************ Journey to the Heart Value Your Past Value your past and all the lessons you have learned. How easy it is to diminish the importance of our past and look on our history with a critical eye. We see the mistakes, we see what we think we should have known, we see what we could have done better. What we forget is that the reason we are able to see so clearly is because of the past and because of what we have learned. Often, it is the very experiences we regret that have created this clear vision. Value what you’ve learned in your past. Each lesson has led to the next. Every person and event in each part of your life has been invaluable in shaping and forming you– in creating the person you are today. Each part of your past, each person who has come into your life and shared experiences with you has helped you to open your heart more to life, love, God, others, and yourself. Even those experiences you think of as wrong, or mistakes, have been an important and necessary part in creating you. Sometimes, those experiences formed the most important parts of you because they created in you compassion and understanding for others. Often the most painful events of your life are the ones that opened you to your ability to bring healing, help, and hope to others. Your past taught you to love– others and yourself. It has helped you become a channel for Divine love and a force for good in this world. When you look back at your past, look tenderly and gently at all you have been through. Look with the eyes of the soul. See that each experience was necessary to bring you home to your heart. ************************************************ More Language Of Letting Go Don’t stir the emotional pot “My bill collector called today,” a friend said to me one day. “I love it when she calls. Every time she does, we have a good fight. She tells me that I owe her company money. Then I say I know. She tells me that my balance is due. I tell her I know that,too. Then she asks why I haven’t sent a payment. I tell her that the reason I didn’t send a payment is because I told her last month I could send only twenty dollars a month and she said not to send it, because that wasn’t enough. That’s when the screaming starts. Then she yells at me to get a job. I scream back that I’m trying and she ought to get a better job herself. Then we both slam down the phone and don’t talk to each other until she calls again next month.” Some of us intentionally stir up drama to release emotions, get the pot brewing, and add a little energy to our lives. Sometimes we can cause trouble in areas where we’d be better off without it. Turning our home into a battleground doesn’t leave us a good place to live. Sometimes when we’re stressed, we just like to get those emotions out. And what better way to get them out than by engaging in a good, old-fashioned fight. Just make sure you’re not making an enemy out of someone whom you’d rather have as a friend. And check to see that you’re not taking your stress out on an innocent bystander, a lover, family, or friend. God, help me let go of my need for dysfunctional drama in my life. Help me make sure I’m not taking my stress out on the people I love. If I am, show me another way to release my emotions. ************************************************ That Which Sustains You Home and Land Meditation Just as we take care of our friends and families, our homes and Mother Earth take care of us. Our homes give us a place of refuge—a sanctuary that stands between us and the elements of nature and the rest of the world. The earth is an unselfish giver of life and the steward of our physical and spiritual needs. The earth’s bountiful plant life nourishes us, gives us air, and offers us cooling shade. Her waters quench our thirst, and her beauty stirs our souls. Yet it is easy to take both of these wonderful sources of our blessings for granted. Expressing the gratitude you feel toward your home and the earth for the blessings each provides you can help you stay conscious of where many of the gifts in your life come from. Each time you give thanks, you’ll be reminded of the importance of caring for your home and for Mother Earth. There is a simple and beautiful meditation you can perform to show your gratitude. Begin by finding a quiet place where you can be alone. Sit comforta! bly and breathe deeply until you feel relaxed and then read the following out loud: "Thank you, home, for allowing me to live within your walls. Thank you for giving me shelter, warmth, and security. Thank you for allowing me to live my life in your womb, for staying strong and sturdy, for supporting me, and for your beauty. Thank you, earth, for the land that I live on and for allowing me to steward life with you. Thank you for allowing me to walk upon your soil, cultivate you, and live in partnership with you. Thank you for supporting my home and my family. Thank you, plants, minerals, and animals that dwell on the land that I steward. Thank you for allowing me to experience your beauty, share in your wonderment of life, and for the honor of living with all of you on this earth. Thank you for the wisdom and joy you bring to humanity. I honor you." You can perform this meditation as often as you like and anytime you feel particularly thankful for the many blessings that you have received. Each time you do, you’ll reaffirm and strengthen your connection with all that protects, supports, and sustains you. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Why don’t I spend part of today thinking about my assets, rather than my liabilities? Why not think about victories, instead of defeats — about the ways in which I am gentle and kind? It’s always been my tendency to fall into a sort of cynical self-hypnosis, putting derogatory labels on practically everything I’ve done, said or felt. Just for today, I’ll spend a quiet half hour trying to gain a more positive perspective on my life. Do I have the courage to change the things I can? Today I Pray Through quietness and a reassessment of myself, may I develop a more positive attitude. If I am a child of God, created in His image, there must be goodness in me. I will think about that goodness, and the ways it manifest itself. I will stop putting myself down, even in my secret thoughts. I will respect what is God’s. I will respect myself. Today I Will Remember Self-Respect is Respect For God. ************************************************ One More Day Bitterness and anger seem to be very closely related and are interchangeable words for the same emotion. – Robert Lovering Why me? We may rage with anger or disbelief when we finally realize we may never fully regain good health. In the beginning, while we are still getting used to our new situation, this happens to most of us. And then we ask, “Why me?” Having a chronic medical condition is not as likely to create bitterness as much as making poor choices about how to respond to it. If we choose loneliness or a lifestyle which allows no room for laughter, we choose bitterness. By making healthier choices, we affirm our belief in ourselves, in the possibilities life has to offer. We feel more loving toward the people around us and in doing so, are more loving toward ourselves. I can learn to balance my negative feelings with contentment and happiness. I can gain strength from my illness. ************************************ Food For Thought Changing As we lose weight, we adjust to a new self. Part of the body we had is disappearing, and this can be frightening. As our physical appearance changes, others may react to us differently. Along with the physical changes come new attitudes and expectations. Though for years we may have wished to be rid of the fat, when it actually begins to go we may fear the change. What is new and unknown is often frightening. We may have used food and fat to retreat from uncomfortable situations. We may have spent so much time eating that there was little left for anything else. We may have expected all our troubles to vanish with the excess pounds. Now we can no longer hide behind fat or kill time with food, and our troubles may very well still be with us. What do we do? It takes courage to change, to become a new person. We may decide at age forty to learn to play tennis. That takes lots of courage. New activities, new attitudes, changes in relationships with others--all require courage. Change is frightening, but it is also an adventure. We are not alone. We have OA. Others have gone through the same changes and can reassure us, one step at a time. May I not be afraid to change. ***************************************** One Day At A Time EXPERIENCE "I'm not afraid of storms . . . for I'm learning how to sail my ship." Louisa May Alcott We spend our youth living and experiencing life. At some point our experiences become lessons. We who are compulsive eaters weren't aware of that when we began to eat out of control. Deep down, however, we were living and experiencing food issues. These issues later would become our lessons. I am so grateful that the Twelve Steps made it possible for me to look at my past experiences and see the reality they presented. If not, I may have continued life in denial. One Day at a Time . . . I will use the lessons I have learned to make the quality of my life better. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. - Pg. 19 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote During crisis, we must not act as isolated persons with nothing gained from fellowship. We stick together. If one of us pulls away, we pull them back. WE recover as WE, not as an I. As I walk this road of recovery, let me know I don't walk alone. In fact I march in an army of WE. Being Authentic I will stop fighting with myself and give my mind, body and heart the rest and inner quiet that they are craving. I'm not going to rush myself into wellness or force my thoughts into a phony sort of gaiety. I will accept myself as I am and feel what I feel. Thoughts and feelings won't kill me. Resisting the ones I don't want to experience puts me in a constant struggle with my own insides. My random thoughts and feelings are trying to tell me something. If I turn away and refuse to listen, I only hurt myself. Instead I will let the adult in me listen to those younger, fearful or anxious selves that are bubbling up inside of me just as a loving parent would allow a child who is hurt to pour out all of their feelings knowing that the simple act of pouring, it in itself, the cure. I am willing to know myself - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If people don't agree with you, so what? If people do agree with you, so what? Our program is one of suggestions, not conformity. I do not need to conform to be comfortable. 'Comfortable' is conscious contact, not conscious copycat. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Change your behavior to meet your goals, not your goals to meet your behavior. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am letting go of all energy that is resisting the truth about me. That energy is being replaced with positive and loving energy, and I am accepting that I am okay just the way I am. I am now open to see the miracle of love in my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If everyone approached getting their driver's license like they approach the Twelve Steps, I'd have the highways to myself. - Ted H. |
March 3
Daily Reflections OVERCOMING SELF-WILL So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62 For so many years my life revolved solely around myself. I was consumed with self in all forms-- self-centeredness, self-pity, self-seeking, all of which stemmed from pride. Today I have been given the gift, through the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, of practicing the Steps and Traditions in my daily life, of my group and sponsor, and the capacity--if I so choose--to put my pride aside in all situations which arise in my life. Until I could honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem in many situations and react appropriately inside and out; until I could discard my expectations and understand that my serenity was directly proportional to them, I could not experience serenity and sound sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day After we've made a surrender, the drink problem is out of our hands and in the hands of God. The thing we have to do is to be sure that we never reach out and take the problem back into our own hands. Leave it in God's hands. Whenever I'm tempted to take a drink, I must say to myself: "I can't do that. I've made a bargain with God not to drink. I know God doesn't want me to drink and so I won't do it." At the same time I say a little prayer to God for the strength needed to keep the bargain with Him. Am I going to keep my bargain with God? Meditation For The Day I will try to grow in this new life. I will think of spiritual things often and unconsciously I will grow. The nearer I get to the new life, the more I will see my unfitness. My sense of failure is a sure sign that I am growing in the new life. It is only struggle that hurts. In sloth--physical, mental or spiritual--there is no sense of failure or discomfort. But with struggle and effort, I am conscious not of strength but of weakness, until I am really living the new life. But in the struggle, I can always rely on the power of God to help me. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may see signs of my growth in the new life. I pray that I may always keep trying to grow. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It A Different Swinging Door, p. 62 When a drunk shows up among us and says that he doesn't like the A.A. principles, people, or service management, when he declares that he can do better somewhere else--we are not worried. We simply say, "Maybe your case really is different. Why don't you try something else?" If an A.A. member says he doesn't like his own group, we are not disturbed. We simply say, "Why don't you try another one? Or start one of your own." To those who wish to secede from A.A. altogether, we extend a cheerful invitation to do just that. If they can do better by other means, we are glad. If after trial they cannot do better, we know they face a choice: They can go mad or die or they can return to A.A. The decision is wholly theirs. (As a matter of fact, most of them do come back.) Twelve Conceptions, p. 72 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places What will this change bring? ____ Change When facing change, it's not unusual to feel both apprehension and expectancy. We are apprehensive because we know that change includes risk. We feel expectancy, however, because we know that improvement can come only through some kind of change. The way to handle change is to see it as part of the higher plan working in our lives. If we believe that our lives are in the care and keeping of our Higher Power, we have to know that everything is in good hands. As change occurs, it is simply part of a plan that is unfolding in order to bring more good into our lives. We should not expect change without temporary disruptions or even surprises that appear to be setbacks. All that's necessary is to know that change is good if we maintain the right attitude toward it. It's also helpful to review the past changes that have been so important in our lives. Once change has occurred, we come to accept it as normal, forgetting that it involved a lot of anxiety at one time. So it is with any change that is unfolding now. It's part of a wonderful plan that cannot fail. I accept change without fear or superstition. Change is built into the nature of things, and will always be part of our lives. I accept it as readily as I accept change of the seasons. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple But the alcoholic . . . will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. Alcoholics Anonymous Our program says three things are more important than knowing ourselves: (1) admitting we have no control over our addiction, (2) believing in a Higher Power, and (3) turning our lives over to the care of that Higher Power. knowing ourselves makes our lives better in recovery. But it does not give us sobriety. Sobriety starts with surrender to our Higher Power. We now know we need faith and strength we get from a Higher Power. We also need the support of others in our program. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thanks you for my sobriety today. Teach me what I need to know about myself to do Your will today. Action for the Day: Today, I'll talk with my sponsor about the change in my spirit that keeps me sober. ************************************************** ********* Each Day A New Beginning Most kids hear what you say; some kids do what you say; but all kids do what you do. --Kathleen Casey Theisen We are role models for many people: our children, our co-workers, other women in the program. Step Twelve encourages us to set good examples for anyone who might be looking on. Living a principled life takes practice, and progress, not perfection, is hoped for. Abstinence has offered is a new set of tools for shaping our behavior. No longer must we regret what we did yesterday or last week. We are learning to monitor our actions, but even more importantly, we are defining our values. They, in turn, influence what we say and do. Thoughtful responses to the situations we encounter require conscious attention to those events. We need reminding, perhaps, that our behavior is continuously telling others who we are, what we value, and how we view people close to us. All of us, consciously or otherwise, imitate behavior patterns of persons we admire. Unfortunately, we sometimes mimic unfavorable behavior, too. There are those casting their attentions our way. The opportunity to model favorable behavior awaits us. People will follow my lead. I shall walk softly, humbly and lovingly. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dinning room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail. After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. I remember having several more that night and plenty next morning. I have a shadowy recollection of being in a airplane bound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife. The driver escorted me for several days. I know little of where I went or what I said and did. Then came the hospital with the unbearable mental and physical suffering. p. 41 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. Then I began to hear whispers. I became convinced that there were people living in my house. I couldn't see them, except for occasional glimpses out of the corner of my eyes, and so I concluded that they were small and somehow living in the walls or under the stairs. I could hear them plotting to kill me. There were nights when I went to bed with a knife in hand to protect myself. Other nights I locked myself in the bathroom so they couldn't get me. One night I left a shot of vodka on the mantelpiece so they would go after that and leave me alone. pp. 363-364 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." Then, in A.A., we looked and listened. Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. We heard story after story of how humility had brought strength out of weakness. In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. We began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever. p. 75 ************************************************** ********* Let us always love the best in others - and never fear their worst. "In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth." --Mahatma Gandhi Whenever you fail or miss out on something you always have tomorrow. Every dawn is a symbol of renewal, telling you to get up, go out and try again. The night of fear has passed, the light of God defines my pathway. God, help me let go of my unreasonable fears, the ones that are preventing me from living my life. --Melody Beattie Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. We surrender to win. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GENIUS "The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers." -- Arthur Koestler I need to remember that genius is often simplicity itself. The original thought need not be abstract, intellectual or technical; the thought exists to transmit the message. In the slogans "Keep it Simple", "One Day at a Time", and "Don't Pick up the First Drink", wisdom combines with simplicity to produce sobriety. God is at work outside of His church and the spiritual message always brings healing. A.A. is more than a "fellowship of genius", it is divinity set to a program. What began with a group of alcoholics will cross new frontiers into the healing of the world. Lord of Truth, let us always be open and receptive to Your voice. ************************************************** ********* The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Isaiah 57:1 "Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths." Psalms 25:4 Physical birth only gains us physical life. Spiritual life, the eternal life Christ promises to those who come to Him, is only gained through spiritual birth. John 3:36 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Know that you make a difference, so choose to make your contribution one of goodness. Lord, help me to touch my world in a positive manner. Each day has a new door. It is up to you to open it. Lord, help me to remember that my life is my choice. Bless me with wisdom and give me guidance as I make my choices. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Relapse "There will be times, however, when we really feel like using. We want to run, and we feel lousy We need to be reminded of where we came from and that it will be worse this time. This is when we need the program the most." Basic Text, p. 78 If we're contemplating a relapse, we should think our using through to the bitter ends. For many of us, those ends would include severe medical problems, imprisonment, or even death. How many of us have known people who relapsed after many years clean, only to die from their disease? But there is a death that accompanies a return to active addiction that may be worse than physical death. That is the spiritual death we experience when we are separated from our Higher Power. If we use, the spiritual relationship we have nurtured over the years will weaken and perhaps disappear. We will feel truly alone. There is no doubt that we have periods of darkness in our recovery. There is only one way we can make it through those troubling times: with faith. If we believe that our Higher Power is with us, then we know that all will be well. No matter how badly we may feel in our recovery, a relapse is never the answer. Together, we find recovery. If we stay clean, the darkness will lift and we will find a deeper connection to our Higher Power. Just for today: I thank my Higher Power for the gift of NA. I know that relapse is not the way out. Whatever challenges I face, I will face them with the God of my understanding. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly. --Thomas Jefferson Some of the necessary things we do are tiring and annoying. Many of these things we must do regardless of how we feel about them. Doing dishes day after day can be a tiresome job but, no matter how much we hate it, it must be done sooner or later. We might discover, if we look hard enough, how chores like this can actually be enjoyable, if we do them right. Perhaps dish washing is a time for listening to music and singing along, or an opportunity for conversation between family members as we help one another. Our willingness to look for the hidden treasure and opportunities in tasks we might otherwise consider dreary will never fail to reward us. What opportunity can I see in my next chore? You are reading from the book Touchstones. "Why are you rushing so much?" asked the rabbi. "I'm rushing after my livelihood," the man answered. "And how do you know," said the rabbi, "that your livelihood is running on before you, so that you have to rush after it? Perhaps it's behind you, and all you need to do is stand still." --Tale about Rabbi Ben Meir of Berdichev Most of us accept the standard ideas we were taught. "Men should be good providers." "We will get self-esteem from hard work." "It is a virtue to be productive." "It's better now to have too much time to think." A major crisis can quickly change our perspective. Perhaps someone close to us dies, and we are faced with how temporary life is. Or we have a health crisis, or a relationship crisis, or an addiction crisis. The standard ideas come crashing down. We look closely at the rush of our lives and ask deeper questions: Are we hurrying to a worthwhile goal? Or are we losing out in our great rush? These doubts can teach us personal things that society can never teach us. Wisdom comes out of pain and the willingness to learn from it. Today, I will allow some time to stand still and reflect. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Accepting Ourselves While driving one day, a woman's attention focused on the license plate of the car ahead. The license read: "B-WHO-UR." How can I? she thought. I don't know who I am! Some of us may have felt confused when people encouraged us to be ourselves. How could we know ourselves, or be who we are, when, for years, many of us submerged ourselves in the need of others? We do have a self. We're discovering more about ourselves daily. We're learning we're deserving of love. We're learning to accept ourselves, as we are for the present moment--to accept our feelings, thoughts, flaws, wants, needs, and desires. If our thoughts or feelings are confused, we accept that too. To be who we are means we accept our past--our history--exactly as is. To be ourselves means we are entitled to our opinions and beliefs--for the present moment and subject to change. We accept our limitations and our strengths. To be who we are means we accept our physical selves, as well as our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves, for now. Being who we are in recovery means we take that acceptance one step further. We can appreciate ourselves and our history. Being who we are, loving and accepting ourselves, is not a limiting attitude. Accepting and loving ourselves is how we enable growth and change. Today, I will be who I am. If I'm not yet certain who I am, I will affirm that I have a right to that exciting discovery, Today I am open to all the powers of the universe. I am letting them work for me and carry me to my next step...JOY! --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Treasure Your Experiences Gather experiences. Treat them as precious jewels. The purpose of the journey is not to guard and restrain yourself. The purpose is to learn. You do not teach and lead your soul. Your soul leads and teaches you. It takes you wading across streams, strolling through meadows, deep into valleys, and high onto mountaintops. It takes you down winding, narrow roads and long fast-moving four-lane highways. It takes you into tiny cafes, bustling cities, and out-of-the-way hostels where people break bread and tell what they have learned. Let yourself have all your experiences. Don’t limit or judge yourself or the adventure you have had. All were necessary, all were important, all have helped shape and form you. Your heart will lead you, guide you where you are to go. Don’t worry about getting lost or off track. Don’t worry about being wrong, or in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gather experiences. Go through them. Select the gems from each. Listen while others tell their stories, their adventures, and show you their jewels, the triths that they have learned. Then, when your friends break and sip soup with others, open your heart and joyfully share what has happened to you along the way. Having experiences is called living. Sharing experiences is called loving. Let yourself enjoy both. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t take storms personally Somewhere out in the Pacific, a storm brewed and swirled and thrashed and died without ever touching the land. Three days later, under a clear blue sky, the storm surge reached the California coast near Los Angeles. The sea threw rocks at my house, and the waves stacked up and crashed down against the pilings of the foundation. Farther up the street, the ocean ate the back porch of two houses. All night the shoreline trembled and shook from the power of the sea. The next morning the tide pulled back, the swells calmed, and the sky stayed blue. I walked down the beach, impressed at the way the ocean had littered it with huge chunks of driftwood and rocks. Then I walked back upstairs and drank my morning coffee. Sometimes, storms aren’t about us. Sometimes, friends or loved ones will attack us for no apparent reason. They’ll fuss, fume, and snap at us. When we ask them why, they’ll say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I had a bad day at work.” But we still feel hurt and upset. Hold people accountable for their behavior. Don’t let people treat you badly. But don’t take the storms in their lives personally. These storms may have nothing to do with you. Seek shelter if necessary. Get away from curt friends until they have time to calm down; then approach when it’s safe. If the storm isn’t about you, there’s nothing you need to do. Would you stop the ocean waves by standing in the surf with your arms outstetched? Say whatever. Let the storms blow through. God, help me not to take the storms in the lives of my friends and loved ones too personally. ****************************************** Quiet Please! Taming Monkey Mind In Meditation It’s been called the monkey mind – the endless chattering in your head as you jump in your mind from thought to thought while you daydream, analyze your relationships, or worry over the future. Eventually, you start to feel like your thoughts are spinning in circles and you’re left totally confused. One way to tame this wild creature in your head is through meditation – although the paradox is that when you clear your mind for meditation you actually invite the monkey in your mind to play. This is when you are given the opportunity to tame this mental beast by moving beyond thought – to become aware of a thought rather than thinking a thought. The difference is subtle, but significant. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can let your thoughts rise and float away without letting them pull you in different directions. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allows you to slow down your thought process and focus on observing your thoughts. To develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on the breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath. Fire can also be mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the color, shape, and movement of the flame, and try not to blink. Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head. Chanting, devotional singing, and mantras also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I’ve begun to better understand myself since I’ve come to The Program. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that opinions aren’t facts. Just because I feel that a thing is so doesn’t necessarily make it so. “Men are not worried by things,” wrote the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “but by their ideas about things. When we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves. That is: our ideas about things.” Do I believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned during my recovery? Today I Pray May I learn to sort out realities from my ideas about those realities. May I understand that situations, things, — even people — take on the colors and dimensions of my attitudes about them. Today I Will Remember To sort the real from the unreal. ****************************************** One More Day People, by and large, will relate to the image you project …. If you project the image of a sick, dependent person, that’s how you’ll be treated. – Chyatte Accepting chronic illness is not easy. Our whole lives are different. We can’t do all the things we used to do. We may feel changed and be afraid of the changes our illnesses will bring. But as we learn to project a strong, positive image, we feel better about ourselves. For the benefit of ourselves, we must act as if we are doing all right. When we act as if we are strong, our new behavior can become a new habit, and that habit can actually develop greater emotional strength within us. We can put illness into perspective as being just one of the changes that occur during a lifetime. Today, I will allow myself the right to change. I can survive my health change and live a worthwhile life. ************************************ Food For Thought Precision For the success of our program, many of us have found that it is important to be precise when we weigh and measure our food. It has been our experience that carelessness and sloppiness lead to cheating and bingeing. An extra spoonful or ounce here and there may not seem important, but it can soon become an extra portion. Then it is easy to think that since we have not followed our plan exactly, we might as well go ahead and really indulge. There are circumstances when weighing and measuring is impossible; then we estimate as best we can. However, for most of us, most of the time, precise measurements are possible and are a valuable aid in maintaining abstinence. Each time we put back the extra spoonful of carrots and cut away the extra ounce of meat, we are stronger. It is always the first extra bite that is the downfall of the compulsive overeater. If we are careful and precise in our measurements, we will not take it. Accuracy is honesty. Make me honest with myself, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time A Disease? "Doc! What do you mean - nothing! What? An incurable disease? Doc, you're kidding me! You're trying to scare me into stopping! What's that you say? You wish you were? Why are there tears in your eyes, Doc?" The Big Book, The Unbeliever, Page 196 For a very long time I scoffed at those who said my overweight was because I had a disease. Yes, my body had doubled in size ... but it was because I ate more calories than my body burned. My doctor said so ... he didn't say I had a disease. His "treatment" was to tell me to go on a diet and join a gym. The diet lasted for a few months and I believe I used the gym about six or seven times. I know now without a single doubt that I have a disease ... a serious one. I know that it is incurable and that I will have to live with this disease for the rest of my life. Dieting made me fat. Somewhere along the way I didn't "get it." One day at a time... I will resist thinking that being a compulsive eater is not a disease. I will aggressively and tenaciously do the footwork necessarily to combat it. A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking -- 'What do I have to do?' It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done. - Pg. 20 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We have been known to think that dishonesty with others was OK as long as it didn't 'hurt' them. We really don't know what will hurt another or not. Being dishonest with other people deprives them of the information they need to run their own lives. Honesty is honesty. Let me understand that 'little' dishonesties are a disservice to others as well as myself. Accepting Caring from Others I will soak up any extra attention that I get while I'm not feeling up to par. Even if I don't need it at the moment, I will soak it into my pores and store it up for a time when I do need it. I will let the attention feel good. I will allow it to restore my faith in and affection for people. I enjoy the little things people are willing to do for me, going a bit out of their way, worrying about how I'm doing. It feels good if I let it. It restores me if I willing to feel good. Feeling grateful for what is coming my way has a healing power all its own. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote All of us chemical dependents have come from the same place, no where. We all enter the world of recovery by changing our place to now here. No Where to Now Here. It works. NOW is the working unit of my life. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You used to be good at being bad. Now you're going to get good a being good. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will stop and ask, 'How important is it?' When I find myself defending or trying to prove my point, I am in the process of learning to trust my own truth. When it feels right inside, I am seeing that it is all I need. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Alcoholics Anonymous has the best record for recovery from alcoholism in the world. Why not avail yourself of the best. - Bede. |
March 4
Daily Reflections WEEDING THE GARDEN The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115 By the time I had reached Step Three I had been freed of my dependence on alcohol, but bitter experience has shown me that continuous sobriety requires continuous effort. Every now and then I pause to take a good look at my progress. More and more of my garden is weeded each time I look, but each time I also find new weeds sprouting where I thought I had made my final pass with the blade. As I head back to get the newly sprouted weed (it's easier when they are young), I take a moment to admire how lush the growing vegetables and flowers are, and my labors are rewarded. My sobriety grows and bears fruit. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Having surrendered our lives to God and put our drink problem in His Hands doesn't mean that we'll never be tempted to drink. So we must build up strength for the time when temptation will come. In this quiet time, we read and pray and get our minds in the right mood for the day. Starting the day right is a great help in keeping sober. As the days go by and we get used to the sober life, it gets easier and easier. We begin to develop a deep gratitude to God for saving us from that old life. And we begin to enjoy peace and serenity and real quiet happiness. Am I trying to live the way God wants me to live? Meditation For The Day The elimination of selfishness is the key to happiness and can only be accomplished with God's help. We start out with a spark of the Divine Spirit but a large amount of selfishness. As we grow and come in contact with other people, we can take one of two paths. We can become more and more selfish and practically extinguish the Divine Spark within us or we can become more unselfish and develop our spirituality until it becomes the most important thing in our lives. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may grow more and more unselfish, honest, pure and loving. I pray that I may take the right path every day. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Free Of Dependence, p. 63 I asked myself, "Why can't the Twelve Steps work to release me from this unbearable depression?" By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer: "It is better to comfort than to be comforted." Suddenly I realized what the answer might be. My basic flaw had always been dependence on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and confidence. Failing to get these things according to my perfectionists dreams and specifications, I fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my depression. Reinforced by what grace I could find in prayer, I had to exert every ounce of will and action to cut off these faulty emotional dependencies upon people and upon circumstances. Then only could I be free to love as Francis had loved. Grapevine, January 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Don't feed the Habit _____ Enhancing Sobriety We quickly learn that it's wrong to do anything that "feeds" a drinking habit. A recovering person would be foolish, for example, to spend time in a drinking environment simply to "be with friends." It's constructive to take that same approach toward other problems we'd like to get out of our lives. If gossip has been my problem, I should not feed it by listening to gossip or even by reading gossipy articles and books. IF I have accumulated debts through overspending, I should cut off window shopping and other practices that may bring on more unnecessary debt. And if I want to rid my life of self-pity, I should not spend a single moment brooding over the bad breaks I have had in the past. Bad habits have a life of their own. They are somewhat like rodents that have found their way into the house and have become star borders. One way to control rodents is to eliminate their food supply. That same principle applies to bad habits we want to eliminate from our own lives. I'll make a strong effort to cut off any line of thinking that feeds my bad habits, whatever they are. This might include avoiding practices that others see as harmless and trivial. However, nothing is harmless or trivial if it has become destructive in my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Better bend than break.-------Scottish proverb Our program is based on bending. We call it "surrender." We surrender our self-will to the care of God. We do what we believe our Higher Power want us to do. We learn this as an act of love. Many of us believed surrender was a sign of weakness. We tried to control everything. But we change as we're in the program longer and longer. We learn to bend. We start to see that what is important is learning. We learn to do what's best for us and others. To learn, we need an open mind. To bend, we must stay open. Love and care become the center of our lives. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me that strength comes from knowing how and when to bend. Action for the Day: Today, I'll check myself. How open am I? Do I bend when I need to? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end. --Ursula K. LeGuin Goals give direction to our lives. We need to know who we are and where we want to go. But the trip itself, the steps we travel, offer us daily satisfaction moment by moment--fulfillment, if we'd but realize it. Too often we keep our sights on the goal's completion, rather than the process--the day-to-day living that makes the completion possible. How often do we think, "When I finish college, I'll feel stronger." Or, "After the divorce is final, I can get back to work." Or even, "When I land that promotion, my troubles are over." Life will begin "when"--or so it seems in our minds. And when this attitude controls our thinking, we pass up our opportunity to live, altogether. Looking back on goals already completed in our lives, what so quickly follows the end of a job well done is a let-down. And how sad that the hours, the days, the weeks, maybe even the months we toiled are gone, with little sense of all they could have meant. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink. This time I had not thought of the consequences at all. I had commenced to drink as carelessly as thought the cocktails were ginger ale. I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come—I would drink again. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was the crushing blow. pp. 41-42 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. Then a miracle occurred. An evening came when I decided to have one drink outside and then go straight home. I had that drink and left for my house. The next thing I remember is waking up the next morning with a stranger I had picked up in a bar. Apparently I had gone on autopilot and, in a blackout resulting from just one drink, had gone on a tear. The look of disgust and pity on the face of the stranger was the jolt I needed. I suddenly realized that my life was totally insane, that my drinking was out of control, and that I was either an alcoholic or a candidate for committal to the local asylum. Not wanting to be locked up, I decided to try Alcoholics Anonymous. p. 364 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God. And this was true whether we had been believers or unbelievers. We began to get over the idea that the Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning. p. 75 ************************************************** ********* God, help me find and create true joy and peace in my world. --Melody Beattie I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine. It doesn't matter what we have done in the past. --Melody Beattie Learning and maturation in the life of the spirit cannot be hurried, and as in physical and intellectual development, a great deal depends on our readiness. --Mary McDermott Shideler God's will never takes me where his grace will not sustain me. --Ruth Humlecker Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to everlasting love. Antidote for stress: Take a deep breath and think of something that pleases you. An argument had with a spouse is a loving moment lost forever. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation HELL "The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those, who in time of great moral crises, maintain their neutrality." -- Dante Alighieri Each human being makes a personal hell here on earth. Often we do it not by what we perpetrate but in what we allow to happen. So much of the loneliness and isolation that many addicts and their families experience is caused by them remaining hidden and silent. The pretense that everything is okay is not only untrue but deadly. Silence and compliance kills more addicts than a thousand needles! Today I choose not to be neutral in my life. I speak about my alcoholism so that I can on a daily basis make war on the disease that nearly killed me. I speak out about the disease of addiction so that society cannot say that it did not know what was happening. I speak up for treatment and recovery because I know it can work in the vast majority of cases. I am not neutral when it comes to addiction because I am fighting for my life. God, give me the courage to speak up in the crowd; let me live the message I was privileged to receive. ************************************************** ********* "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 God is not unjust, he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Life isn't always fair, but don't let that stop you from making the world a better place every chance you get. Lord, help me to serve You where I am right now. The first and most powerful commandment is love. Through love we unite ourselves together with God and with each other and bring ourselves closer to our desired goal. Lord, I love You with all my heart and soul and mind. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Process "This program has become a part of me.... I understand more clearly the things that are happening in my life today I no longer fight the process." Basic Text, p. 78 In active addiction, things happened seemingly without rhyme or reason. We just "did things"; often without knowing why or what the results would be. Life had little value or meaning. The Twelve Step process gives meaning to our lives; in working the steps, we come to accept both the dark and the bright sides of ourselves. We strip away the denial that kept us from comprehending addiction's affect on us. We honestly examine ourselves, picking out the patterns in our thoughts, our feelings, and our behavior We gain humility and perspective by fully disclosing ourselves to another human being. In seeking to have our shortcomings removed, we develop a working appreciation of our own powerlessness and the strength provided by a Power greater than we are. With our enhanced understanding of ourselves, we gain greater insight into and acceptance of others. The Twelve Steps are the key to a process we call "life": In working the steps, they become a part of us—and we become a part of the life around us. Our world is no longer meaningless; we understand more about what happens in our lives today. We no longer fight the process. Today, in working the steps, we live it. Just for today: Life is a process; the Twelve Steps are the key. Today, I will use the steps to participate in that process, understanding and enjoying myself and my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume, you shall assume. --Walt Whitman Some of us may think Walt Whitman must have been terribly conceited to have written words like that. But he wasn't. He knew himself well, and accepted himself, even his darker side. He could laugh at himself and celebrate his humanness. And because he loved and accepted himself just as he was, others could do the same. That's difficult to understand sometimes, but it's true: no one else is going to love and accept us until we come to love and accept ourselves. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves, so perhaps it makes sense to apply a variation of the Golden Rule: "Do unto ourselves as we would have others do unto us." Can I allow my kindness to myself overflow to another person today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Heaven ne'er helps the men who will not act. --Sophocles Growing into masculine wholeness is a journey into greater responsibility for our lives. We have choices to make every day. Taking responsibility means choosing between the options we have and then accepting the consequences. Sometimes both choices are undesirable, but we have to choose anyway. Do I expect to be perfect in my choices? Do I demand that someone else take responsibility for me? Do I defiantly refuse to accept the options I have? This program seems like a paradox- the First Step asks us to accept our powerlessness, then we are expected to go on and stop being passive in our lives. The Serenity Prayer speaks to us about this dilemma. We ask for the serenity to accept what we cannot change and the courage to change what we can. Fully admitting our powerlessness sheds a burden and frees us to go on from there, actively doing what we can. If something is awaiting my action today, may I have the courage to move forward with it. Even small movement is progress. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Higher Power as a Source I've learned I can take care of myself, and what I cant do, God will do for me. --Al Anon member God, a Higher Power as we understand Him, is our source of guidance and positive change. This doesn't mean were not responsible for ourselves. We are. But we aren't in this alone. Recovery is not a do it yourself project. We don't have to become overly concerned about changing ourselves. We can do our part, relax, and trust that the changes well experience will be right for us. Recovery means we don't have to look to other people as our source to meet our needs. They can help us, but they are not the source. As we learn to trust the recovery process, we start to understand that a relationship with our Higher Power is no substitute for relationships with people. We don't need to hide behind religious beliefs or use our relationship with a Higher Power as an excuse to stop taking responsibility for ourselves and taking care of ourselves in relationships. But we can tap into and trust a Power greater than ourselves for the energy, wisdom, and guidance to do that. Today, I will look to my Higher Power as a source for all my needs, including the changes I want to make in my recovery. I will not forget that every moment of every day I can be God-centered and joyous. The goal I'm striving toward will carry with it a special gift; it will offer the growing person within me an extra thrill, if I've attended to the journey as much as its end. Today I will stop and ask, "How important is it?" When I find myself defending or trying to prove my point, I am in the process of learning to trust my own truth. When it feels right inside, I am seeing that is all that I need. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart One Step at a Time One step at a time. That’s all you can take, That’s all you have to take, Yes, you have visions you’ve created of where you want to go. But you don’t get there in one leap. You get there one step at a time. That’s how you receive your guidance. That’s how you respond to the guidance you’ve received. Let your faith be strong. Your faith will keep you going through those moments in between steps. When your faith is strong, you don’t look in fear at the journey ahead, wondering if you will get all the guidance you need, or if you will get to where you’re going. You know you will, so take the simple steps, one at a time, that lie ahead. You take them in joy, because you know you’re being guided. You have faith that the simple steps you are led to do will take you to your destination. One step at a time. That’s how you will get where you are going. You are being led, each step of the way. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Allow for differences He’s rational. He wants examples of the problem and wants to focus on and find a solution. She wants to talk about how she feels. He wants to sit in front of the television and click the remote control. She wants to cuddle on the couch and look into his eyes. He deals with his stress by playing basketball with his friends, tinkering with the car or going for a hike. She wants to go to a movie, preferably one that makes her cry. I spent much of my life thinking that men and women– and generally all people– should just be the same. It took me a long time to realize that while we have much in common with other people, we’re each unique. It took me even longer to realize that the practical application of this meant I had to learn to allow for differences between the people I loved and myself. Just because we have something in common with someone, and might even think we’re in love, doesn’t mean that each person is going to respond and be the same. So often in our relationships, we try to get the other person to behave the way we want. This forcing of our will on them will ultimately become a great strain. It can also block love. When we’re trying to change someone else, we overlook his or her gifts. We don’t value the parts of the person that are different from us, because we’re too busy trying to change the person into someone else. Allow for differences, but don’t just allow. Appreciate the differences. Value what each person has to offer and the gifts each person can bring. Learn to say whatever, with a spark of amusement and curiosity, when someone isn’t the same as you. Try getting a kick out of the unique way each person approaches life. God, help me understand the rich gifts that letting go of control will bring to my life. ****************************************** The Energy of an Embrace Hugs The need to touch and be touched is established early in our lives, as we develop and grow in the omnipresent embrace of our mother’s womb. Once we are born, separated from that sanctuary of connectivity, we begin to crave the physical embrace of our parents. As we age, we become more independent. Yet during times of triumph or trouble and during those moments when we are in need of reassurance, we can’t help but long for a hug. Because a hug requires two active participants, each individual taking part in the embrace experiences the pleasure of being embraced and the joy that comes from hugging someone. As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken. A heart hug is when you put your left arm over someone’s shoulder and your right arm around their waist. As they do the same to you, your hearts become aligned with one another other and loving, comforting energy flows between the two of you to flood your souls with feelings of love, caring, and compassion. A hug is a pleasurable way to share your feelings with someone who is important to you. Depending on your relationship with the other person and the kind of message you wish to send to them, a hug can communicate love, friendship, romance, congratulations, support, greeting, and any other sentiment you wish to convey. A hug communicates to others that you are there for them in a positive way. In an instant, a hug can reestablish a bond between long lost friends and comfort those in pain. The next time you hug someone, focus all of your energy into the embrace. You will create a profound connection that infuses your feelings and sentiments into a single beautiful gesture. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We may not know any specifics about the activities of today; we may not know whether we’ll be alone or with others. We may feel the day contains too much time — or not enough. We may be facing tasks we’re eager to complete, or tasks we’ve been resisting. Though the details of each person’s day differ, each person’s day does hold one similarity: We each have the opportunity to choose to thing positive thoughts. The choice depends less on our outside activities than on our inner commitment. Can I accept that I alone have the power to control my attitude? Today I Pray May I keep the fire of inner commitment alive through this whole, glorious day, whether my activities are a succession of workaday tasks or free-form and creative. May I choose to make this a good day for me, and for those around me. Today I Will Remember Keep the commitment. ****************************************** One More Day Whatever limits us, we call fate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson We like to plan ahead, but w cannot plan for the ravages of chronic illness. No one expects to travel down the winding road of an unhidden, unwanted trip. Unused to the whims of a chronic illness, we may at first try to chart, plan, and control its course. We may dwell too much on the medical conditions. We cannot change the course of illness, but we can influence its twists and turns by keeping a positive frame of mind. Rather than being obsessed with how our medical conditions are affecting us, we can focus on the many things we can still do. Can we enjoy a sunset? Watch a child smile? Can we listen to music or pursue a handcraft? Our angry, dour thoughts can be replaced so easily with pleasant dreams, fond memories, and hope for the future. I am feeling comfortable once again as I finally realize that I can still make choices in how I want to live my life. ************************************ Food For Thought Doing What Feels Good Doing anything as long as it feels good is a trap. We like to eat for the sheer sensual pleasure of the experience, and we would like to continue long after our need for nourishment has been met. Once our appetites are out of control, we cannot stop, not even when the pleasure has turned to pain. Unbridled, uncontrolled sensuality will destroy us. Rational knowledge of when to stop is not enough. We may know with our minds that we should not be eating, but still be unable to stop the action of our bodies. If we are unable to control our sensuality with our minds, then how is it to be done? OA members testify that there is One who has all power, including the power to enlighten our darkness and prevent our self destruction. Through daily contact with this Higher Power, we develop spiritual strength which will control and direct our physical drives so that they do not control and destroy us. Take my sensuality, Lord, and control it. ***************************************** One Day At A Time March "March is the month of expectation, the things we do not know, The 'Persons of Prognostication' are coming now." ~ Emily Dickinson I'm not sure whether it's because I'm embroiled at the moment in working the Steps I love so much ... or whether the beginnings of Springtime are beginning to happen ... but there is a feeling that I have that "something" is beginning. The long winters of life have taken their toll on me and when I experience this awesome feeling of hope I am grateful. If there were doubts of the promises coming true, March overshadows them. If the Spring and Summer times of program loomed large in the distance, they are no longer. Just the smell of a new Spring morning is enough to know that hope for spiritual, emotional and physical wellness abounds. One day at a time ... I must forget the winters of my life and hold on to the promises of March ... and of my Twelve Step program. ~ A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. - Pg. 100-101 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Are we remembering the so-called 'good times' right now? How nice a 'high' would be? We use this hour to REALLY think about what got us to this fight for sobriety. It wasn't because we were having a lot of fun! Thank you, God, for the beautiful day I'm going to have if I can just get rid of my attitude. Recall a Pleasant Moment: Soothe the Heart and You Soothe the Self You can calm and nourish your heart by regularly meditating or praying. These activities produce the 'relaxation response' - a physiological state that is exactly the opposite of stress - a state that reduces blood pressure and increases blood flow to the heart. Many forms of meditation and prayer organically incorporate feelings of love, appreciation and forgiveness. Some traditional Buddhist practice use 'loving-kindness meditation,' during which they focus their attention on the heart and generate feelings of loving kindness for others and themselves. Not only does this create the feelings in your mind, but it creates them in the body as well. A form of such 'intentional heart focus' has been found by the HeartMath researchers to create greater coherence in the heart in as little as one minute. To experience the benefits of this 'intentional heart focus,' try the following next time you're feeling stressed: Take a break and mentally disengage from the situation. Bring your attention to the area of your heart. Recall an experience with a loved one in which you felt happiness, love or appreciation or just meditate for a moment on those kinds of thoughts and feelings. Re-experience these feelings while keeping your attention on your heart. Let your breathing be relaxed and regular. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There are no victims, only volun-teers. When we cry, 'They did this to me. They did that to me.' what we are really saying, is I placed myself in a position for this or that to happen. I volunteered for it. I volunteer for sobriety today. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book What if there is no God? Believe anyway. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Where I am at this moment is perfect. My past is my friend today as I take the lessons that I can learn from it and say thank you. Everything that has brought me to this moment is a gift and I am a stronger and wiser person because of it. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote We're all here because we're not all there.- Fr Joe M. |
March 5
Daily Reflections A LIFELONG TASK "But just how, in these circumstances, does a fellow 'take it easy?' That's what I want to know." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26 I was never known for my patience. How many times have I asked, "Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now?" Indeed, when I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial "kid in a candy store." I couldn't wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely just a few months' work, or so I thought! I realize now that living the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Sometimes we try too hard to get this program. It is better to relax and accept it. It will be given to us, with no effort on our part, if we stop trying too hard to get it. Sobriety can be a free gift of God, which he gives us by His grace when He knows we are ready for it. But we have to be ready. Then we must relax, take it easy, and accept the gift with gratitude and humility. We must put ourselves in God's hands. We must say to God: "Here I am and here are all my troubles. I've made a mess of things and can't do anything about it. You take me and all my troubles and do anything you want with me." Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself? Meditation For The Day Fear is the curse of the world. Many are our fears. Fear is everywhere. I must fight fear as I would a plague. I must turn it out of my life. There is no room for fear in the heart in which God dwells. Fear cannot exist where true love is or where faith abides. So I must have no fear. Fear is evil, but "perfect love casteth out all fear." Fear destroys hope and hope is necessary for all of humanity. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have no fear. I pray that I may cast all fear out of my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Search For Motives, p. 64 Some of us clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn't suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn't suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations didn't suffer, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man's fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies. This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can be changed only by a deep and honest search of our motives and actions. 12 & 12, p. 79 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places A vision for you___A Positive attitude One of the methods that helps in recovery is to see yourself as a sober person living a clean life. This is the "vision for you" that society's founders offered in AA's early days, and it's still powerful today. While being careful to avoid self-will, we can use this method with great success in living each day. Along with seeing ourselves sober, we can see ourselves living and working according to the best principles we know. We can see a business relationship improving. We can see some long-standing problems being solved. We can see a brighter side to negative situations that have persisted in spite of our best efforts to change them. One author also talked about "seeing God on both sides of the table in any business negotiation." We desire success, of course, but it's also important to know that any negotiation ought to be successful for both parties. If we're really practicing spiritual principles in all our affairs, there should be no desire to outmaneuver another person in any negotiation. There is always a price that is fair and satisfactory for both parties, and there are always terms suitable for both sides. I will go through this day visualizing it as I think it should be according to the highest and best principles I know. I will put aside self-will and see everybody benefiting fro any negotiations in which I am involved. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.---William Allen White Big changes are happening to us, but we can trust that changes will bring good things. After all, what have we got to lose? We have lived through the days and years of our addiction. Now, with the help of our Higher Power, the pain of those days has ended. We have no reason to worry. Yet, recovery won't make our lives perfect. Hard things still happened. But we never have to lose hope again. We never have to feel alone with our problems. What will come next? We don't know the details, but we can be sure the future will be good if we stay on our path of recovery. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I know life holds many new things for me. Help me and protect me as I live in Your care today. Action for the Day: Today, I'll trust that each day of my life will bring me good. I will share this idea with one friend. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Loving, like prayer, is a power as well as a process. It's curative. It is creative. --Zona Gale The expression of love softens us and the ones we love. It opens a channel between us. It invites an intimate response that closes the distance. It feels good to express love, whether through a smile, a touch, or a prayer. It heightens our sense of being alive. Acknowledging another's presence means that we, too, are acknowledged. Each of us is familiar with feeling forgotten, unnoticed, or taken for granted, and recognition assures us all that we haven't been overlooked. Knowing we are loved may be the key to our doing the things we fear. Love supports us to charge ahead, and we can support others to charge ahead. We know that if we fail, we have someone to turn to. Love heals. It strengthens, making us courageous both when we receive it and when we give it. Knowing we are loved makes our existence special. It affirms that we count in another's life. We need to honor our friends by assuring them of their specialness, too. I need others. I need to strengthen my supports, my connections to others for the security, even success, of each of us. I can express my love today, and assure my loved ones that they are needed. Then, they and I will surge ahead with new life. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me. They grinned, which I didn’t like so much, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time. I had to concede both propositions. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was hopeless condition. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself. p. 42 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. I called my former lover, and he put me in contact with an individual who took me to my first meeting. Although I can barely recall anything about that meeting, I heard two things I have never forgotten. The first was "You don't have to drink again." This was a total revelation to me. For a long time I had believed that alcohol was one of the few positive things left in my life. I looked forward to my first drink every evening and thought that alcohol was holding my life together. I had to drink to survive, let alone to have any comfort. Yet here, people who had been in the same boat were telling me that I didn't have to drink. I don't think I believed them that night, but it gave me enough hope to avoid drinking the rest of the day. pp. 364-365 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering. A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have. It marked the time when we could commence to see the full implication of Step Seven: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." p. 75 ************************************************** ********* Today I will ignore "what might have been," and concentrate on "what is..." "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." -Jonathan Larson It is never too late to be what you might have been. --George Eliot God, help me welcome all the new experiences in my life. Give me the courage to calmly walk my path today, knowing I'm right where I need to be. --Melody Beattie When hate, anger, fear, attack, victimization is thrown at us, we find solace in returning to Spiritual sanity. These emotions only harm us if we embrace them, rather than embrace Gods love. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt The past and the future are great places to visit, but you don't want to live there. --Tom Payne ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DENTITY "Without freedom, no one really has a name." -- Milton Acorda Part of my identity involves my disease. I am an alcoholic and my name is . . . And with this recognition of who I am comes the liberty and freedom to live and create in God's world. Who I am involves what I am; in the fusion of the two is my spiritual identity. For years I ran from myself because I wanted to be different. I felt that I would not be acceptable or good enough for you. In running from me, I lost my identity; the seed of low self-esteem was sown. With the spiritual recognition that I can only be who I am came the freedom of existence and identity. I am what I am! Lord, You said once, "I am who I am." Well, so am I! ************************************************** ********* Turn your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding. Proverbs 2 : 2 "But surely, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life." Psalm 54:4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Shine and give praise and it will encourage others to do the same. Lord, may my actions show those in my life that I appreciate and love them. When we give in to fears and worries they will take charge of our lives. Lord, I place my trust in You so that I may experience every opportunity and not miss in life that which is meant for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today From Rude Awakening To Spiritual Awakening "When a need arises for us to admit our powerlessness, we may first look for ways to exert power against it. After exhausting these ways, we begin sharing with others and find hope." Basic Text, p. 79 We've sometimes heard it said in our meetings that "rude awakenings lead to spiritual awakenings." What kind of rude awakenings do we have in recovery? Such an awakening might occur when some undesirable bit of our behavior that we thought safely hidden away is suddenly revealed for all the world to see. Or our sponsor might provoke such an awakening by informing us that, just like everyone else, we have to work the steps if we expect to stay clean and recover. Most of us hate to have our covers pulled; we don't like being laid naked in full view. The experience delivers a strong dose of humility. Our first reaction to such a disclosure is usually shock and anger, yet we recognize the truth when we hear it. What we are having is a rude awakening. Such awakenings often disclose barriers that block us from making spiritual progress in our recovery. Once those barriers are exposed, we can work the steps to begin removing them from our lives. We can begin experiencing the healing and serenity which are the preludes to a renewed awakening of the spirit. Just for today: I will recognize the rude awakenings I have as opportunities to grow toward spiritual awakening. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The farmer may only be planting a seed, but if he opens his eyes he is feeding the whole world. --Omaha Bee A traveler journeying through a small village came upon some workers building an impressive structure. "What are you doing?" he asked. The first worker, a young, impatient man, replied in disgust, "I am making three dollars an hour and I'm getting very tired!" The visitor asked another man the same question. "I'm mixing concrete, as you can plainly see," came the sarcastic reply. Finally, a woman working nearby left her wheelbarrow full of bricks and approached the stranger. "We are building a hospital," she said with pride. "Now we will be able to care for all the region's people. Babies will be born here. Lives will be saved." The stranger looked at the woman with admiration and spoke directly to her. "I know, for this is my hospital. Only you hold the vision of what it is you are creating." The wealthy benefactor then put the woman in charge of construction so his hospital would be built by one who truly understood. Will I see the importance of even the small things I do today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If not for the beast within us we would be castrated angels. --Hermann Hesse Let's not confuse the surrender, humility, and serenity of this program with the perfection of angels. Today we are more alive because we are no longer destroying ourselves, or numbing ourselves, or shaming ourselves. We are men with the strength we need to meet the problems and excitements of the day. We may also get ourselves into trouble by our shortsightedness or mistaken ideas. That is why we need to continue to take inventory of ourselves and continue to be accountable. We are on a spiritual path that leads toward fuller manhood. We accept the beast within. More than that, we like him and take pleasure in him. He has the same source as our spiritual strength. As we get better acquainted with him, he brings a sense of awe and mystery about the untamed parts of ourselves. He instills us with zest and vitality that we release as explosions of energy and power. He is in the music we love and in our dancing. He comes out in our daydreams and night dreams - in our labor and sweat. And he is in our trickery and humor. I am filled with gratitude for the beast within. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Be Who You Are When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I cant have my feelings. Cant have my wants and needs. Cant have my history. Cant do the things I want, feel the feelings Im feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionistic robot, instead of being who I am: Me. --Anonymous Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself. Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else. The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are. We may think others wont like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think. But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. Were fun to be around. If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us? Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and its enough. Its fine. Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need. Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself. Today I will accept what I have and what I am and what I see in this moment. I will be fully alive in this moment and feel the joy of knowing that it is all that there is right now. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Operate from Desire, Not Will There are times when we need to force ourselves to put one foot in front of the other and do what needs to be done. But when we operate that way for too long, we can be separated from our heart, separated from our desres, instincts, and healthy inclinations. Separated from that part of us that lives and loves naturally. Separated from joy. After years of grieving the loss of my son, I needed to come back to life. To do that, I had to force myself through the motions of living, those acts that I knew would create a good life for myself and my daughter. I was operating from sheer will, and that will was struggling hard to overcome the desire to give up. After a time of doing that though, I noticed that forcing myself forward had come habitual. Somewhere along the journey, I had forgotten about relaxing, trusting my heart, trusting my desires to carry me through. I became tired. Tired of forcing myself. Tired of pushing through. I realized something else. It was safe to let go of willing my way through life. I had climbed the mountain. I was over the top. I was coming alive again. I had survived the toughest time. It was okay to relax and trust the guidance and desires of my heart. It was safe to relax and enjoy life again, to celebrate being alive. If you’ve been operating from will, that was probably what you needed to do at that point in your life. It helped you survive, learn the lessons, get to the place you are now. But it no longer fits, not on a journey of joy. Not on the journey to the heart. Let desire and inclination replace will. Let your heart and soul lead you forward. Then trust that they will, and trust where they lead. Let living from your heart’s desires reconnect you to joy. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t let anger run your life Cheryl’s husband was a tyrant. His anger controlled most of her moves. He didn’t get angry often, but when he did, he exploded in a rage. He broke things; he carried on. His rage terrified her. “I’ve never done well with anger,” Cheryl said, “either my own, or someone else’s. I spent my childhood walking on eggshells, trying not to annoy my dad. Then I married a man whom I allowed to completely control me by the mere threat of his rage.” Whether we call them rageholics, tyrants, or bullies, a lot of people in our world get their way by being mean. We may find ourselves instinctively walking on eggshells around these people, praying to God we don’t set them off. Anger is a powerful emotion. But we don’t have to let anybody else’s rage take control of our lives. If somebody you know or love is a bully or a tyrant, don’t take it on yourself. Stop walking on eggshells and letting their rage control your every step. Instead of taking on their problem, try something different. Give their problem with being a bully back to them. How do you deal with anger? Does somebody in your life use anger as a way of controlling you? It may be time to let go of your fear of setting off people. If you are in a dangerous situation, then by all means, get out. If you are just allowing yourself to be controlled by the fear of an emotional outburst, then learn to say whatever when someone spouts off. God, please don’t let anyone’s anger, including my own, be the master of my life. ****************************************** Positivity Revisited Keeping a Diary with Purpose by Madisyn Taylor A diary that is kept for a specific purpose can be a great way to focus on a specific issue that you want to work through. A diary can play many roles. It can be a confidant, a vehicle of self expression, a tool that facilitates clarity of thought, or a repository of dreams. A diary can also be a powerful source of comfort during challenging or traumatic periods. When you record those insights and incidents that clearly demonstrate you are on the right track, you can return to your words days, weeks, or months later and find uniquely soothing reassurance. A diary with a specific purpose can be a good tool for keeping track of experiences before the passage of time can skew your perception of events. It reflects the immediacy of your life and thus provides you with a landmark to return to when you begin to doubt yourself. If doubt does arise, simply open your diary to reaffirm your experiences. The confidence, surety, passion, and bravery you felt in a single moment is preserved, giving you a means to recapture those feelings in any place, at any time. Your diary serves as a repository of personalized encouragement. Since a diary is, by its very nature, as individual as you are, you should give some thought to the type of diary that will serve you best. A synchronicity-and-connections diary might describe those instances where seemingly random occurrences came together in a meaningful way, propelling you forward. Or you may find strength in the pages of a pride diary that makes note not only of those times you felt proud of yourself but also precisely why you were pleased with your efforts. And a cause-and-effect diary can help you become more decisive by reminding you of all the wise, life-affirming choices you have made. Your diary should be small enough to be readily portable and on hand whenever possible because the faster you put your thoughts down on paper, the more authentic your declarations are apt to be. Regardless of the type of focused diary you choose to keep, your recollections will create a positive feedback loop that helps you cope with doubt in a constructive way. Reading through your diary when life seems uncertain can show you that your misgivings are unfounded. As you draw consolation from your uplifting words, you will know without a doubt that you are indeed living your purpose and following the path that you committed to before birth. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Before I became sober in The Program, I blamed all my problems on other people, or on places and things. Now I’m learning to look squarely at each difficulty, not seeking whom to “blame,” but to discover how my attitude helped create my problem or aggravate it. I must also learn to face the consequences of my own actions and words, and to correct myself when I’m wrong. Do I practice the Tenth Step by continuing to take personal inventory? When I am wrong, do I promptly admit it? Today I Pray May I know the blessed relief and unburdening that comes when I admit I have done something wrong. May I learn — perhaps for the first time in my entire life — to take responsibility for my own actions and to face the consequences. May I learn again how to match actions with consequences. Today I Will Remember To take responsibility for my own actions. ****************************************** One More Day Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts. – Percy Bysshe Shelley Our inner messages are much like tuning a radio; we choose what we want to hear. With a turn of the radio dial, the music changes from mellow and happy to sad and lonely and back again. The inner messages we choose to hear may fill our days with memories that are difficult to hear. But we can tune our minds to more positive thoughts, by noticing the beauty of our surroundings, by focusing on more pluses and on fewer minuses. We can, willingly, switch our minds to thoughts that are better for us and for our health. Why should we listen to the sad, lonely sounds when we have other choices? We can choose a daily program to suit our goals and needs, one that enhances desires and improves general well-being. Today, I will turn my personal dial to more positive messages. ************************************ Food For Thought Old Tapes In the recesses of our minds, each of us has old tapes stored away which tend to be played over and over again. These tapes may have been recorded so long ago that they have little if anything to do with our present situation. The tapes, which are recordings of positive thoughts and experiences, can be helpful when replayed. Unfortunately, we each possess many tapes which are negative and self-destructive. They include resentments, fears, and hates. When one of these negative tapes begins to play, we may find ourselves opening the refrigerator or going out to buy food which we should not have. Often the tapes continue to play while we are eating. Taking an inventory each day makes us increasingly aware of our negative emotions: anger, envy, irrational anxiety. Admitting mistakes and making amends relieves us of the guilt associated with our character defects. By giving our lives to God and staying in contact with Him, we are able to turn off the negative tapes. We receive new thoughts and positive feelings: hope, faith, love. I pray that my thoughts and feelings may be purified. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ IMPULSIVENESS ~ "It is especially important not to make major life changes when you are guided by emotions. If you are emotionally excited (either in the positive or negative), wait until you calm down before taking action." Rabbi Zelig Pliskin When I first entered into recovery this was one of my main character defects. Since my life was out of control and spiraling downward, I acted impulsively and rarely did any thinking before acting. I wouldn't even admit that my actions were impulsive. I would get so mad at people if they said I was impulsive. Thanks to the steps I now have the tools that allow me to look at my actions in a new light - one of sanity and direction. Step One allowed me to admit that I was addicted to food and my life was unmanageable. Step Two allowed me to let others in to help with my problem. I was not in this alone. Step Three gave me a loving G-d to take care of growing me up and helping me with all my problems. Step Four brought things into perspective, Step Five brought healing from the shame of making those irreparable mistakes. Steps Six and Seven helped me look at what in me could be prayed about and improved. They taught me that this character defect was just a character asset being used improperly. Steps Eight and Nine brought me back into a right relationship with others. Step Ten keeps me focused in the now not the "what if's" or "you need to's" of the past. Sanity seemed to be coming from that awareness of living in today. Step Eleven gave me the gift of a G-d that is ever caring and always present to help me if I just do my side of the work. As a result I have a spirit of love today rather than a spirit of resentment and self-pity. Step Twelve might be the most important one because it is what keeps me in recovery and living a productive life. Today I do not have to react immediately to every thing that happens, I can even go to my sponsor and ask for guidance. If my sponsor doesn't have experience in that area I have a world full of people like me to go to who understand what I am experiencing. The tools give me a way to handle life on life's terms. One Day at a Time . . . I will chose to live and recover in the 12 steps. ~ Judith ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives , as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. - Pg. 19-20 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The first few months are the hardest task we'll ever have to complete. Anyone who tells us how 'wonderful' it is, has lost touch with the pain and agony of beginning recovery. Although it is not wonderful in these first hours, first weeks, we can say, IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I sometimes feel this sucks, but grant me the ability to go clean and sober into the next hour. Inside My Mind I am changing, I can feel it. I am learning and growing just by being still. I am sensing more than I normally sense and feeling more than I normally feel. I am grateful to feel alive and to recognize that life is a spiritual journey. All my life circumstances are spiritual challenges, opportunities to see new sides of myself, new sides of life. Life surrounds me; it is inside, outside and everywhere. If I am open and still inside, life is there. If I am not lost in a million unnecessary distractions, life is there, spirit is there-waiting to be seen and felt. I allow my mind its freedom. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote He who laughs, lasts! 'But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered.' (P 132, AA Big Book) My laughter is good medicine. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Count your blessings so your blessings count. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will accept what I have and what I am and what I see in this moment. I will be fully alive in this moment and feel the joy of knowing that it is all that there is right now. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I look inside these bars and know that seconds and inches are between me and that girl sitting on that bar-stool, or that person vomiting on their shoes, or that one getting beat up around the corner. It's just seconds and inches. - Sharon B. |
March 6
Daily Reflections THE IDEA OF FAITH Do not let any prejudice you might have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47 The idea of faith is a very large chunk to swallow when fear, doubt and anger abound in and around me. Sometimes just the idea of doing something different, something I am not accustomed to doing, can eventually become an act of faith if I do it regularly, and do it without debating whether it's the right thing to do. When a bad day comes along and everything is going wrong, a meeting or a talk with another drunk often distracts me just enough to persuade me that everything is not quite as impossible, as overwhelming as I had thought. In the same way, going to a meeting or talking to a fellow alcoholic are acts of faith; I believe I'm arresting my disease. These are ways I slowly move toward faith in a Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A., we must surrender, give up, admit that we're helpless. We surrender our lives to God and ask Him for help. When He knows that we're ready, He gives us by His grace the free gift of sobriety. And we can't take any credit for having stopped drinking, because we didn't do it by our own willpower. There's no place for pride or boasting. We can only be grateful to God for doing for us what we could never do for ourselves. Do I believe that God has made me a free gift of the strength to stay sober? Meditation For The Day I must work for God, with God and through God's help. By doing all I can to bring about a true fellowship of human beings, I am working for God. I am also working with God, because this is the way God works, and He is with me when I am doing such work. I cannot do good work, however, without God's help. In the final analysis, it is through the grace of God that any real change in human personality takes place. I have to rely on God's power and anything I accomplish is through His help. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may work for God and with God. I pray that I may be used to change human personalities through God's help. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Growth By The Tenth Step, p. 65 In the years ahead A.A. will, of course, make mistakes. Experience has taught us that we need have no fear of doing this, providing that we always remain willing to admit our faults and to correct them promptly. Our growth as individuals has depended upon this healthy process of trial and error. So will our growth as a fellowship. Let us always remember that any society of men and women that cannot freely correct its own faults must surely fall into decay if not into collapse. Such is the universe penalty for the failure to go on growing. Just as each A.A. must continue to take his moral inventory and act upon it, so must our whole Society if we are to survive and if we are to serve usefully and well. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 231 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Example, not exception___Helping Others. It's always heady stuff when others congratulate us on our victory over alcohol. Fair-minded people will have considerable admiration for what appears to be a bootstrap effort to make a comeback from despair and defeat. We can accept this praise with grace and modesty. At some point, however, we should emphasize that our recovery was an example of spiritual principles at work and that thousands have been able to follow in the same path. Sober AA members are not exceptions; they are examples of what the program can do in people's lives. It is important to emphasize that we are ordinary people. The marvelous thing about the program is that it works for ordinary people like ourselves. Many people in the fellowship have great talent and ability, but those gifts have nothing to do with staying sober. The gifted person gets sober the same way anybody does..... by admitting powerlessness over alcohol and by accepting the program. We are also helped most by people who can serve as examples in our lives. It is always inspiring to know that we can follow in their paths and find what has been given to them. I want to provide a good example for others today. I will go through the day remembering that my sobriety is a gift that can be bestowed on anybody___it was not an exception just for me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck. Remember how we tried to make others think we were not in trouble? We walked and talked like addicts. We acted like addicts. Most everyone knew the truth but us. We were like ducks pretending to be eagles. We see ourselves as we really are. But sometimes we can't see ourselves that way. This is normal. That's why we need others to help us see what we can't. We were addicts. We are now recovering addicts. We need friends, sponsors, and family members to tell us when we may be acting like addicts again. It may save our lives. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, give my friends and family members the strength to tell me when I'm acting like an addict. Action for the Day: I'll go to people whom I trust and ask them to tell me when I'm acting like an addict. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Life is made up of desires that seem big and vital one minute, and little and absurd the next. I guess we get what's best for us in the end. --Alice Caldwell Rice It is often said that we will be granted our heart's "pure desires." When we have many unmet desires, maybe we should be grateful. Wants, ultimately not for our good, can open the way to many unneeded and painful experiences. How often we sit, wishing for a better job, a more loving relationship, a different weather forecast. How seldom we take positive advantage of what is at hand, not realizing that whatever is, right now, is the ticket to the next act in the drama of our lives. We have before us a very limited picture. We cannot possibly know just what we need to travel the distance that's in store for us. Our desires, when they are pure, will carry us to the right destination. They are inspired. But the desires that are motivated by our selfish egos will lead us astray. Many times in the past we did not give up those desires. And the painful memories linger. Desiring God's will is my most fruitful desire. It's also what is best for me; thus, what I need. All things are working for good when I let my higher power determine my desires. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be. p. 42 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. The second thing I heard was "You don't have to be alone anymore." This too was a revelation. For years I had rejected or been rejected by friends, lovers, family, and God. I was alone and afraid. My life had narrowed to work and the bottle, and work remained in the picture only because it was necessary to enable me to buy the bottle. The isolation and loneliness that alcoholism brought weighed heavily on me, and those words lifted an immense burden of fear. Again, I'm not sure that I completely believed, but I felt hope for the first time in years. p. 365 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. " As we approach the actual taking of Step Seven, it might be well if we A.A.'s inquire once more just what our deeper objectives are. Each of us would like to live at peace with himself and with his fellows. We would like to be assured that the grace of God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We have seen that character defects based upon shortsighted or unworthy desires are the obstacles that block our path toward these objectives. We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon God. p. 76 ************************************************** ********* We surrender to win. A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. --Basil (329-379 A.D.) "What we see depends mainly on what we look for." --John Lubbock "Age is a matter of feeling...not of years." --George William Curtis "The future comes one day at a time." --Dean Acheson Sharing love and life with someone is the one of the greatest gifts of all. Take the time to appreciate it and enjoy it. "Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside." --Dr. Melba Colgrove ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation HYPOCRISY "Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo." -- Ambrose Bierce As a religious person I could be such a hypocrite. I thought that my "goodness" was dependent upon my judging others to be inferior. I was always putting other people down so that I could appear terrific. But a part of me always knew this was wrong. I ignored the religious teaching that emphasized forgiveness and acceptance and instead focused on judgment and condemnation. It was all part of my sickness. Inside I was hurting and feeling guilty but I hid these feelings with a mask of hypocrisy and respectability. Today I do not need to do this. I have a religion that can accept the non-religious and rejoice in the different cultures and creeds. I do not fear those who are different, and I am slowly beginning to accept my many imperfections. You, who have loved me through forgiveness, help me to forgive. ************************************************** ********* "Put away your former way of life, your old self ... be renewed in the spirit of your minds ... according to the likeness of God." Ephesians 4:22-24 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:22-26 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Repeatedly remind yourself what a wonderful person you are. Lord, help me to believe in myself as You believe in me and focus on my goodness. God's plans for you are beyond your imagination. Lord, may I not limit myself to my past experiences, but be willing to accept new opportunities and challenges into my life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Rationalizing Away Our Recovery "As a result of the Twelve Steps, I'm not able to hold on to old ways of deceiving myself." Basic Text, pg. 176 We all rationalize. Sometimes we know we are rationalizing, admit we are rationalizing, yet continue to behave according to our rationalizations! Recovery can become very painful when we decide that, for one reason or another, the simple principals of the program don't apply to us. With the help of our sponsors and others in NA we can begin to look at the excuse we use for our behavior. Do we find that some principals just don't apply to us? Do we believe that we know more that everyone else in Narcotics Anonymous, even those who have been clean for many years? What makes us think that we're so special There is no doubt, we can successfully rationalize our way through part of our recovery. But, eventually, we must squarely face the truth and start acting accordingly. The principals in the Twelve Steps guide us to a new life in recovery. There is little room for rationalization there. Just for today: I cannot work the steps and also continue deceiving myself. I will examine my thinking for rationalizations, reveal them to my sponsor, and be rid of them. ************************************************** ********* This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow. --Hyemeyohsts Storm There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals. Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle." Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential. How can I look at things differently today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A boy must be initiated into the world of men. It doesn't happen by itself; it doesn't happen just because he eats Wheaties. And only men can do this work. --Robert Ely Many of us grew into manhood with a surface picture of what it means to be masculine. We had images of tough guys playing rough, but we weren't emotionally close enough to another man to really know him. Many of us never knew our fathers' strengths, passions, and weak points. It left us with a distorted picture of masculinity and not with an inner knowing. Getting close to other men is a new experience, and it may feel frightening or threatening. We can develop close friendships with other males and let them know us as we are, rather than as this picture we try to imitate. This kind of relationship in play and work and troubled times is a central part of our spiritual recovery. Close relationships with other men teach us confidence in ourselves and give us inner security. I will be aware today of men with whom 1 can develop a friendship and will take one small step toward them. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Peace Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, Ill worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying. Our best problem solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help. Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace. Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God. I am learning to trust my instincts and move away from unpleasant and stressful people, places and things. I no longer have to stay in situations that bring me unhappiness and pain. I am turning around today to see the joy. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Let Your Sexuality Be Connected to Your Heart He was a handsome man. An acotr. “Something happened to me lately,” he shared. “It’s about my sexuality. I used to be sexual when and where I felt like it. No more. And it’s not connected to fear of disease, although that’s certainly a concern. What happened to me is that my sexuality has become connected to my heart.” Let go of sexual shame. Embrace your sexuality. Value your senses, all of them– touch, smell, taste, seeing, and hearing. Value your other senses,too– your intuition, your spirituality, your spirit’s reaction to the world that dances around you. Open up to colors, textures, scents, and sounds. Open up to your energy, all of it, including your sexuality. Let yourself see that all expressions of your love and your being are beautiful. Let yourself learn to express and receive love in sensual ways, ways that work for you. Be done with sexual shame. Trust your body and what it likes. We aren’t disconnected parts. Open up. Discover your sexuality. Let it be connected to your heart. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Neutralize conflicts Unless you want a fight or an argument, don’t give people anything to push against. Here is a key to harmonizing with people who are upset or have a point of view different from your own. Stay so relaxed when you talk to them that you allow yourself to empathize with how they think and feel. That doesn’t mean that you give in to people’s every whim. It means, instead, that you are so clear and focused that you can genuinely let other people be who they are, too. It’s both naive and egotistical to think that everyone thinks and feels the same as us. It’s ridiculous to beliieve that everyone will agree with our point of view. One of the true signs of a person who is growing in consciousness is that he or she recognizes that each person has individual motives, desires, and feelings. “Instead of meeting a verbal attack with a verbal conterattack you respond first by coming around to your attacker’s point of view, seeing the situation from his or her viewpoint,” wrote George Leonard in the Way of Akido. He was talking about using a concept called “blending” to deal with verbal confromtations in our daily lives. “The response, whether physical or verbal, is quite disarming, leaving the attacker with no target to focus on. It’s a means by which you can multiply your options in responding to any kind of attack.” If the person espousing his or her point of view is just trying to get us to react or has no desire for reconciliation, we can still neutralize the conflict by staying relaxed, letting the other person be, and responding by saying “hmmmm.” It’s a polite way of saying whatever, when expressing your disagreement would only lead to a senseless fight. At the least, you’ll become a great conversationalist, a respectable art to be acquired. At best, you’ll bring about world peace, at least in your corner of the world. God, help me be so clear on who I am that I can generously afford to let other people be who they are,too. Help me to set aside my defensive behavior, and teach me to blend with other people and see their point of view while not relinquishing my own. ****************************************** Exploring an Alternate Universe What Makes People Tick? by Madisyn Taylor Interacting peacefully with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. All people have their own way of being in the world. It is easiest to comprehend this basic yet profound fact when we consider that every human being on the planet occupies a distinct role in the universe. We grow up in different environments, affected by a unique range of influences. The preferences, values, and beliefs we embrace are frequently related intimately to our origins. And the need to individualize our experiences is instinctive, as doing so enables us to cope when we must face challenges on our own. Consequently, each of us has developed a perspective that is uniquely ours. Interacting peacefully and constructively with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. Then we can adjust our expectations so that we avoid making undue assumptions about what they are about. In the face of emerging interpersonal conflict, it is easy to assume that others are being difficult, unreasonable, or stubborn. We are apt to grow frustrated when someone in our environment does not share our opinions or feel compelled to support us in our endeavors. It is likely that the individual or individuals before us may simply possess differing notions with regard to what is and what is not important in this life. We can ease the tension that exists between us by reaffirming our belief in the fundamental right of all beings to determine their own destinies. To foster a harmonious relationship, we need to do our best to relate to the unique universes they inhabit. And as we discover what makes them tick, our ability to find a mode of interaction that is pleasing to both of us is enhanced. When there are barriers keeping you from connecting with someone else, think of questions you can ask them to gain a more thorough understanding of their point of view. You may discover that in addition to the differences in perspective dividing you, they are subject to insecurities and other personal issues that influence their way of seeing the world. It is likely that you will never fully grasp the myriad complexities embodied by humanity, but you can go a long way toward encouraging mutually satisfying relations by reaching out to others in the spirit of sympathetic comprehension. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day There is no advantage, no profit and certainly no growth when I deceive myself merely to escape the consequences of my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I’ll be making progress. “We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us,” wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is An Island. “But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we set it.” Am I true to myself? Today I Pray May I count on my Higher Power to help me carry out the truth as I see it. May I never duck a consequence again. Consequence-ducking became a parlor game for chemically addictive persons like me, until we lost all sense of relationship between action and outcome. Now that I am healing, please God, restore my balance. Today I Will Remember Match the Act with the consequence. ****************************************** One More Day The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones. –Somerset Maugham Old habits often die hard, especially bad ones. We may need to be tactfully silent when we become irritated with the behavior or habits of our loved ones. It may seem at times as though everyone around us is either nail biting, smoking, cussing, or overeating. When illness enters the scene, or any other stressor for that matter, bad habits tend to resurface. We may be less tolerant of others’ faults and even of their good health. It’s hard to put away old habits, especially the old pattern of being critical, but we can learn to let go. Even with extra stress in our lives we can begin to work on developing new habits. We can learn to recognize the growth we’ve achieved and to feel proud. I can begin today to develop strong, new habits and to hold on to my old, strong habits. ************************************ Food For Thought Living Now When we were eating compulsively, we left the here and now. We escaped into fantasy, and we were often unaware of how much we were eating. By some strange mental quirk, we were able to forget that we should have been burning up our excess fat, not adding more. God is now. To make contact with Him is to bring ourselves in touch with what is real. When we first came to OA, we may have had doubts, if not downright disbelief, about the reality of God, but concrete experience has convinced most of us that a Higher Power is indeed in control. In order to be rid of the mental obsession which drives us to the insane behavior of compulsive overeating, we practice being constantly tuned in to our Higher Power. He can restore us to sanity and keep us living in the present. By giving Him our past resentments and future fears, we become free to focus on the here and now. Without resentment and fear, we can see the beauty of the present moment. Lord, keep me living in the here and now. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Scars "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~ Kahlil Gibran I’ve lived most of my life filled with bitterness towards people, God and myself. My mind, soul, and body were consumed by hatred, self-pity, pain, hopelessness, and a complete sense of powerlessness. I focused my energy on reviewing my scars. I counted them, checked them, nurtured them, and flaunted them. They were proof of all the wrongs I’d endured. They were my source of energy. They were my identity. They were my badge of sorrow. As I work my recovery, I am beginning to see everything from a new perspective. Gradually my head is lifted and my eyes are turned away from my once-beloved scars. The more I allow myself to accept that my powerlessness is not a prison of doom, the more I discover that it is my doorway to faith, surrender, and serenity. My scars are still here. There is no magic potion to remove them. What is magical, however, is that I see them so differently. I find that I have a choice to make every day: I can cherish my scars as proof of the pain I have suffered, or I can be thankful for them as evidence of things I have survived. Scar tissue forms and creates a stronger, thicker skin in its place. I can either pick at it and make it bleed, or I can welcome the lessons and endurance it has built into my life. One day at a time... I will choose to see my scars as proof of the difficulties I have survived. I will choose to appreciate them as evidence that God has brought me through suffering and has used all things to strengthen my faith in Him, my hope for tomorrow, and my serenity for today. Lisa A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote This fourth edition of 'Alcoholics Anonymous' came off the press in November 2001, at the start of a new millennium. Since the third edition was published in 1976, worldwide membership of A.A. has just about doubled, to an estimated two million or more, with nearly 100,800 groups meeting in approximately 150 countries around the world. - Pg. xxiii - Forward To Fourth Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Even in the confusion and chaos of beginning sobriety, a place exists for spiritual promise and character. Freud once remarked, gazing on a crystal, that the place where that crystal is broken is the very place where we can see its structure. The place where you are broken is the very place that reveals your character. I use my broken places to show what I am made of--integrity, courage, and determination. Prayer Prayer helps me to heal. Study after study scientifically prove that prayer is beneficial to my health. I will pray for my healing throughout my day when ever it occurs to me. I will accept and be grateful or the prayers of others knowing that they are being carried to me by unseen hands. Just as radio waves pulse through the air and become voices, prayers come to me in an inner voice. I will ask my body to hear the prayers that are coming toward me and to invite them into each and every cell. I accept the power of prayer to heal - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You certainly are not good at every aspect of service to your group. You may be good at opening meetings, emptying ash trays, remembering to contact people, or going out on Twelve Step calls. Maybe you are lousy at greeting people at the door, holding office, getting birthday cakes, or paying the rent. Whatever you lack skills for, others can pick up; whatever you are good at, recognize! For my shortcomings, I delegate; for my strengths, I congratulate. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am learning to trust my instincts and move away from unpleasant and stressful people, places and things. I no longer have to stay in situations that bring me unhappiness and pain. I am turning around today to see the joy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Being a speaker is not the measure of an alcoholic. Some of the finest speakers I've heard in AA died drunk. And some of the finest AA members I've ever known never spoke from podiums. - Gayle W. |
March 7
Daily Reflections THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35 The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over my problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God's will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day There are two important things we have to do if we want to get sober and stay sober. First, having admitted that we are helpless before alcohol, we have to turn our alcoholic problem over to God and trust Him to take care of it for us. This means asking Him every morning for the strength to stay sober for that day and thanking Him every night. It means really leaving the problem in God's hands and not reaching out and getting the problem back to ourselves. Second, having given our drink problem to God, we must cooperate with Him by doing something about it ourselves. Am I doing these two things? Meditation For The Day I must prepare myself by doing each day what I can to develop spiritually and to help others to do so. God tests me and trains me and bends me to His will. If I am not properly trained, I cannot meet the test when it comes. I must want God's will for me above all else. I must expect to have what I am not prepared for. This preparation consists of quiet communion with God every day and gradually gaining the strength I need. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may really try to do God's will in all my affairs. I pray that I may do all I can to help others find God's will for them. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It For Emergencies Only?, p. 66 Whether we had been believers or unbelievers, we began to get over the idea that the Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning. 12 & 12, p. 75 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places First things First Order The struggle to bring order into our lives starts with lots of little things. One recovering person discovered that it was a good exercise simply to put the cap back on the toothpaste tube in the morning. This was a reminder that things should be put in their proper place, and the discipline helped later in organizing larger matters. It is very easy to overlook orderly procedures in the haste to get things done, or to avoid anything that seems unpleasant or demanding. But such oversight always carries a heavy price later on. When we don't return things to their proper place, for example, we lose them or waste hours looking for them. We may bungle a job simply because we were too lazy to look up the right information or to read directions. That's why "First things First" is much more than just a slogan. It's actually a principle for living, a guide that tells us there is an orderly approach to everything. If we can find that order without becoming slavishly compulsive about it, we'll find that it simplifies lots of things later on. I'll try to do things in an orderly manner today. When I find myself taking short cuts or becoming too hurried, I'll regain control by remembering to establish priorities. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple To make the world a friendly place One must show it a friendly face.---James Whitcomb Riley We are beginning to learn that we get what we expect. Why? If we believe that people are out to get us, we'll not treat them well. We will think it's okay to "get them" before they "get us." Then, they'll be angry and want to get even. And on it goes. It's great when we can meet the world with a balance. We are honest people. We can expect others to be fair with us. We get the faith, strength, and courage to do this because of our trust in our Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I put my life in Your care. Use me to spread Your love to others. Action for the Day: Today, I'll spread friendliness. I will greet people with a smile. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. --Anne Frank We must take responsibility for ourselves, for who we become, for how we live each day. The temptation to blame others may be ever present. And much of our past adds up to wasted days or years perhaps, because we did blame someone else for the unhappiness in our lives. We may have blamed our own parents for not loving us enough. We may have labeled our husbands the villains. Other people did affect us. That's true. However, we chose, you and I, to let them control us, overwhelm us, shame us. We always had other options, but we didn't choose them. Today is a new day. Recovery has opened up our options. We are learning who we are and how we want to live our lives. How exhilarating to know that you and I can take today and put our own special flavor in it. We can meet our personal needs. We can, with anticipation, chart our course. The days of passivity are over, if we choose to move ahead with this day. I will look to this day. Every day is a new beginning. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.” pp. 42-43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. I did not fall in love with A.A. at first glance. The man who took me to my first meeting later became my first sponsor, and he had to put up with objections, arguments, questions, and doubts--everything a trained but very muddled legal mind could throw at him. He was gentle with me. He did not push his opinions on me. He had the sense to see that I was so afraid and so used to being alone that I could not face a "hard sell" approach. He listened to my questions, answered some, and suggested that I could best answer others myself. He refused to argue but was willing to explain and share his own experiences. I had asked him to be my sponsor before I knew what he did for a living and felt I could not back out of the relationship when I discovered he was a minister. p. 365 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. " The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. p. 76 ************************************************** ********* "I used to say, 'I sure hope things will change.' Then I learned that the only way things are going to change for me is when I change." --Jim Rohn Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. --Henry Ward Beecher Expecting the world to be fair to you because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. Today I will do something I should have done yesterday. --Nelle Bruner Weddington It's so important to treat others like you would expect to be treated. It's a universal law that the hurt and pain you have caused on others will come back and affect you, but the love and joy you have inspired in others, will also inspire you. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation IDEALS "An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." -- H.L. Mencken The spiritual program teaches me to be an idealist with my feet on the ground. People will continue to hurt, get angry and tell lies; wrestling with imperfections is not just my problem. I need to accept that I live in an imperfect world and recovery involves reality, not illusion. My responsibility in recovery is for my life. I cannot change other people, events or relationships --- I can only change me. I am not God. Each time I forget this fact, I risk another hurt. Help me to aspire for ideals that are within my grasp. ************************************************** ********* "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalms 46:1 For the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezek 36:26 Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is not in the good times, but rather in the times of stress and misfortune, that our faith is tested. Lord, remove my doubts as they creep in and help me turn my times of turmoil into times of spiritual growth. No matter what you must confront today, know that God is with you. Lord, today is part of Your plan for me. I do not doubt You and therefore I will not doubt You within me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Priorities "The good times can also be a trap; the danger is that we may forget that our first priority is to stay clean." Basic Text, p. 42 Things can get really good in our recovery. Perhaps we've found our "soul mate" built a rewarding career, started a family. Maybe our relationships with our family members have healed. Things are going so well, we barely have time to attend meetings. Perhaps we begin to reintegrate into society so successfully that we forget that we don't always react to situations like others do. Maybe, just maybe, we've put some priorities ahead of themselves. Is meeting attendance still a priority with us? Do we still sponsor? Do we phone our sponsor? What step are we working? Are we still willing to drag ourselves out of bed at some ungodly hour for a Twelfth Step call? Do we remember to practice principles in all our affairs? If others in NA reach out to us, are we available? Do we remember where we came from, or have the "good times" allowed us to forget? To stay clean, we must remember that we are only one drug away from our past. We stay grateful for the good times, but we don't let them divert us from our continuing recovery in Narcotics Anonymous. Just for today: I'm grateful for the good times, but I've not forgotten from where I've come. Today, my first priority is staying clean and growing in my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. He who distributes the milk of human kindness cannot help but spill a little on himself. --James Barrie We like ourselves best when we like those around us. When we smile at them, they smile back; when we ask them, they tell us about themselves. When we scowl at people, they'll frown back; when we ignore them, they'll walk away. It's true that we get back what we put into things, whether it's work, play, love, or gardening. We decide by the extent of our commitment how valuable or enjoyable or depressing an experience can be for us. Our actions toward others come right back to us. When we smile at people, they smile back, and we feel good. Sometimes feeling good about ourselves depends on feeling good about others. When we send out that smile of ours, those who get it pass it on, and we have added power to the happiness of the world. What can I do to show my fondness for others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as controlling ourselves or controlling how people respond to us. We may be worried about a loved one's behavior or safety, but not realize our hovering over that person is a controlling activity. We may be keenly aware of other people's controlling behavior with us, but unaware we have equaled their control by monitoring them and trying to change their behavior. What a moment of spiritual adventure it is to risk living through the pain! When we do not seek an escape or a quick fix but have patience with the process, new possibilities often do develop. We can only let go of our control - or turn it over to our Higher Power. And we will do it and forget, taking control back within minutes or within an hour. Then we let go again. Today, I will submit to the insecurity of a changing universe and have faith that 1 can live through the process and grow. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Fulfillment Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything. Say it, until you believe it. Say it at the beginning of the day. Say it throughout the day. Sometimes, it helps to know what we want and need. But if we don't, we can trust that God does. When we ask, trust, and believe that our needs will be met, our needs will be met. Sometimes God cares about the silliest little things, if we do. Today, I will affirm that my needs will be met. I will affirm that God cares and is the Source of my supply. Then I will let go and see that what I have risked to believe is the truth. It is exciting to know that my thoughts and my actions in the present moment condition the next moment. I am responsible for my future. Today I am bringing awareness to my self-talk and replacing all negative thoughts with positive thoughts as soon as they appear on my mindscape. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Redefine Service Service is a key, an important one. It’s a key to joy, to love. And a gold key to the journey. How long we thought service meant doing everything for everyone. How long we thought service had to be hard, taxing, boring– that it meant doing something we didn’t want to do to help someone who didn’t want to be helped. Now, we’re defining service differently. Service is joyful. It’s an attitude, a belief, a way of looking at ourselves and our lives. Our very life is service. Our being is service. Service arises and springs naturally out of self-love. It arises from being who we are and from doing the things we want to do and are led to do. The things that bring us the most joy will bring the most service to the world. Doing things we don’t want to do will leave us and the world around us cold, untouched, unmoved. Service is love and joy. Service is being who you are. Bask in self-love. Service will flow naturally from that. It will be freely given and freely received. And now what you do will really help. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Recognize manipulations Herein lies an irony: the person who is trying to manipulate you views you as having greater strength or power than he or she does. –George H. Green and Carolyn Cotter Stop Being Manipulated George Green and Carolyn Cotter describe manipulation as an encounter in which someone else attempts to control how you feel, behave, or think– without your permission– and it causes you discomfort as a result. Most of us use manipulation, from time to time, to get what we want. Sometimes our manipulations are harmless’ even cute. Both people know a low-grade manipulation is at hand. Both people basically want what the manipulator is working so hard to get– dinner out, a movie, a walk through the park. It’s not a big deal. Other times, the stakes are higher and the people involved don’t agree. That’s when manipulations can be harmful. When we don’t know what we want, when we’re not clear with others and ourselves about how we feel, a manipulation is in the air. Sometimes manipulationx are conscious and deliberate. Other times they’re unconscious, foggy attempts to get what we want. “Let’s simplify our definition of manipulation,” suggest Green and Cotter. “If an encounter leaves you feeling crummy, it probably involves manipulation of some sort.” Isn’t it ironic that sometimes the very feeling we’re trying to deny is exactly what we need to be feeling to take care of ourselves? Next time you’re faced with a situation that leaves you feeling crummy, take a moment to see if a manipulation was involved. Remember that whenever others try to manipulate you, they perceive you as having something they want and as being more powerful than they are. If you’re powerful enough to be a target for a manipulation, you’re powerful enough to take care of yourself. God, help me let go of my belief that I need to manipulate other people to get what I want. Help me stop letting others manipulate me. ****************************************** Letting Go of Understanding Deeper Meanings by Madisyn Taylor We don't always need to know the deeper meaning of everything that happens in our lives. All of us who seek to be conscious and aware regard our experiences as teachers, and we try to discern what lessons we are learning from the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes the lesson is very clear from the get-go, and other times we have to really search to understand the deeper meaning behind some event. While this search often yields results, there also comes a point in the search where what we really need to do is move forward. It is possible that we are not meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences. Answers may come later in our lives, or they may come as a result of letting go, or they may never come. We are all part of a complex system of being, and things work themselves out in the system as a whole. Sometimes we are just playing a necessary part in that process with a result larger than we can understand. It may have very little to do with us personally, and while that can be hard to understand, it can also free us from overthinking the matter. Sometimes it is best to see it in terms of karma, a past debt we have been able to repay in this way, or as the clearing of energy. We can simply thank the event for being part of our experience and let it go. This completes the process that the occurrence has made possible. To make this letting go official, we can perform a ritual, make a final journal entry on the subject, or sit in meditation with the intention of releasing the event from our consciousness. As we do so, we summon it one last time, honoring it with our attention, thanking it, and saying good-bye. We then let it go out the door, out the window, out the top of our heads, or into the earth through the bottoms of our feet, liberating ourselves from any burden we have carried in association with it. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day It’s time for me to realize that my attitude — toward the life I’m living and the people in it — can have a tangible, measurable and profound effect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to me. And If I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation, I know it will change all the circumstances of my life for the better, too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent on my spiritual condition? Today I Pray since my illness was spiritual — as well as physical and emotional — may I mend spiritually through daily communion with God. May I find a corner of quiet within me where I can spend a few moments with Him. May He make His will known to me. May I worship Him from that inner temple that is in myself. Today I will Remember To spend a quiet moment with God. ****************************************** One More Day Life if you will, is a work of art, and if we have paid loving attention to its details, we will be able to take pride in the finished product. – Harold Kushner Without even realizing it, we often do things that are good for us and make us happy. We do something that creates well-being, and we have a successful day. When we pay attention to actions that create well-being we can have a successful week. Taking good care of our homes makes us feel proud and so does helping a fellow human being in need. Making volunteer work a part of how we live, showing kindness to others and ourselves, reaching out — all these choices enhance our well-being. When we pay attention to those around us, a transformation occurs within our spiritual selves. Then we shall have given ourselves the gift of a meaningful life. I will pay loving attention to the details of my day. ************************************ Food For Thought Accepting Abstinence Abstinence is not so much something we achieve as it is a gift from our Higher Power. It is given to us constantly, from the time we wake up in the morning through every minute of the day. If we think of abstinence as something we have to acquire through great effort, we will be afraid that we will fail. We will think of weeks and months and years stretching ahead of us and say, "I'll never make it." Abstinence is given to us now, each day, and all we need to do is accept it. It is not something we do only in order to lose a certain number of pounds. By abstaining, we will lose the pounds, but when we are at our desired weight we continue to maintain abstinence. Abstinence is our freedom from compulsive overeating and the gift of new life. Thank you, Lord, for abstinence. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Perseverance To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil on it. Mother Teresa As a child I can still remember being terribly stubborn, and would even have a temper tantrum if I didn't want to do something. As I grew up, the trait of stubbornness remained, and it would be hard to get me to budge if I had decided I didn't want to do something. After coming into the program, I realized that stubbornness is actually a character defect of mine, and whilst I am praying to be relieved of it in its negative form, I also know that that same character defect in its positive form has helped me tremendously in the program, especially seeing my journey has been one which has been characterized with many slips along the way. But one of the things that I've never stopped doing is coming back, and I know that it is this very character defect of stubbornness, turned into perseverance, that has made me keep working at the program, even when it would be easier to just give up. So I have kept coming to meetings, and working the steps and the tools even when I was struggling, because I know that it is only when I do that, I have a chance of recovery. It has been said that this is a program of action, and so I repeat on a daily basis the actions that have brought recovery to thousands. Some days it is harder than others, especially when the willingness is not there, and on those days my old pattern of wanting to block out the feelings with food resurfaces. But I also know that when I use the tools and work the steps, I can deal with the feelings without resorting to food, because my Higher Power will help me to get through the daily struggles when I turn them over to Him. So what I need to do on a daily basis is to ask for help from my Higher Power with my unmanageable life, instead of turning to food, and even on days where I'm struggling, I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and persevering with working the program. One Day at a Time . . . I will persevere with working the program, so that I can recover from this disease of compulsive overeating and be restored to sanity on a daily basis. ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt -- and one more failure. - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Right now, whatever is bothering you, set it aside. Turn to the next person you see and smile. Tell them hi and wish them well for the moment. That is the first step to getting out of self. When I am tempted to obsess on myself, please show me the way to be kind to someone else. Letting My Body Speak I will let my body have a voice today and I will listen to what it's trying to say to me. If my body's voice has tears in it, I will allow those tears to come out. If my body is holding anger, I will allow myself to experience that anger so that it can dissolve and my cells no longer have to hold it for me. If my body wants to shiver and shake I will let it, knowing that it just needs to release something it doesn't want to hang onto any more. I allow my body to let go of the emotions it is holding - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Being angry at God won't hurt God, and neither will it provoke Him to take measures against us. If it makes us feel better to vent our anger at Him over a painful situation, we are free to do it. The only thing wrong with doing it is that what happened to us was not really God's fault.' -Harold S. Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People Usually, things don't happen TO make me angry; things happen THAT make me angry. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You may be the only copy of the Big Book some people ever see. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I feel so good knowing that I am a power of example for future generations today as I walk on my new path of truth. I am making a difference not only in my own life but in the lives of those who follow me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I had an open mind; everything went right through. - Anon. |
March 8
Daily Reflections TURNING IT OVER Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn't it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous? . . . Any willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is the only safe harbor for the foundering vessel he has become. Now if this is not turning one's will and life over to a newfound Providence, then what is it? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35 Submission to God was the first step to my recovery. I believe our Fellowship seeks a spirituality open to a new kinship with God. As I exert myself to follow the path of the Steps, I sense a freedom that gives me the ability to think for myself. My addiction confined me without any release and hindered my ability to be released from my self-confinement, but A.A. assures me of a way to go forward. Mutual sharing, concern and caring for others is our natural gift to each other and mine is strengthened as my attitude toward God changes. I learn to submit to God's will in my life, to have self-respect, and to keep both of these attitudes by giving away what I receive. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day A.A. Thought For The Day We must go to A.A. meetings regularly. We must learn to think differently. We must change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. We must reeducate our minds. We must try to help other alcoholics. We must cooperate with God by spending at least as much time and energy on the A.A. program as we did on drinking. We must follow the A.A. program to the best of our ability. Have I turned my alcoholic problem over to God and am I cooperating with Him? Meditation For The Day The joy of true fellowship shall be mine in full measure. I will revel in the joy of real fellowship. There will come back a wonderful joy, if I share in fellowship now. Fellowship among spiritually minded people is the embodiment of God's purpose for this world. To realize this will bring me a new life-joy. If I share in humanity's joy and travail, a great blessing will be mine. I can truly live a life not of earth, but a heaven-life here and now. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be helped and healed by true spiritual fellowship. I pray that I may sense His presence in spiritual fellowship with His children. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Thousands of "Founders", p. 67 "While I thank God that I was privileged to be an early member of A.A., I honestly wish that the word 'founder' could be eliminated from the A.A. vocabulary. "When you get right down to it, everyone who has done any amount of successful Twelfth Step work is bound to be the founder of a new life for other alcoholics." << << << >> >> >> "A.A. was not invented! Its basis were brought to us through the experience and wisdom of many great friends. We simply borrowed and adapted their ideas." << << << >> >> >> "Thankfully, we have accepted the devoted services of many nonalcoholics. We owe our very lives to the men and women of medicine and religion. And, speaking for Dr. Bob and myself, I gratefully declare that had it not been for our wives, Anne and Lois, neither of us could have lived to see A.A.'s beginning." 1. Letter, 1945 2. Letter, 1966 3. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places What Do I project? ___ Personal Relations. Were we ever told that our problems with other people really started within ourselves? If we have trouble getting along with another person, for example, is it because we are projecting mixed signals of fear and suspicion toward that person? We tend to reap what we sow----- we get back the attitudes we project. At the same time, however, we can't take total responsibility for the way others treat us or behave toward us. We cannot reform or control impossible people. When dealing with impossible people, we have control over our own feelings and responses. This helps us avoid potential trouble and enables us to deal with difficult situations. But the principle of sowing what we reap….. that is, getting back what we project… can really be proved by the person whose resentments and bitterness have driven away most of his or her friends. A simple change of attitude on our part can bring startling change for the better in there responses of others. With practice, the principle also applies to the broad area of human relations in many ways. For purposes of inventory, therefore, we should always look first at ourselves and our own thoughts and feelings when we find ourselves in a bad situation with others. …….I will take care today to see that my thoughts and feeling toward others reflect what I want in my own life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We lose the fear of making decisions, great and small, as we realize that should our choice prove wrong we can, if we will, learn from experience.---Bill W. As our disease grew, we often felt like any decision we made was wrong. We felt like wrong people. We lost self-respect, because deep inside we knew that, for us alcohol and other drugs was wrong. We went against our spirit. Now we go with our spirit. We follow what we think our Higher Power want for us. Now we learn from our mistakes. Another wonderful gift has been given back to us: the gift of learning. From that gift, we stop playing God. How free it feels! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You have taken away my illness and replaced it with many wonderful gifts. I thank You for everything, even my mistakes. Action for the Day: Today, I'll share with a friend my mistakes of the past week. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning To create is to boggle the mind and alter the mood. Once the urge has surged, it maintains its own momentum. We may go along for the ride, but when we attempt to steer the course, the momentum dies. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh A sense of spiritual well-being warms us when we are selfless, when we step away from our obsessing egos, when we let our pure, unfettered desires direct our thoughts and our steps. Our egos may be keeping us caged in old behavior, old fears. Egos struggle for self-preservation; unfortunately, it's our old, unhealthy self the ego is preserving. The Steps make it possible for us to unload our baggage from earlier days, baggage that intrudes on our perceptions of today's events. The Steps clear the path so we can move responsibly forward. Living creatively is living in the thick of the flow, trusting the flow, spontaneously moving with the flow, not controlling the flow. We are Spirit-full when we let ourselves roll forward, resisting not, doubting not. And our greatest contributions will be discovered when our ego takes a rest. My creativity awaits my discovery. It's there. I will release it from the clutches of my ego. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Fred’s story speaks for itself. We hope it strikes home to thousands like him. He had felt only the first nip of the wringer. Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems. p. 43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. My alcoholism and my lifestyle had led me to reject the religion and the God of my upbringing; I had never replaced them. Instead, I was an agnostic, doubting the existence of God but afraid to say so in case I was wrong. My self-pity and sense of victimization led me to doubt that a caring God could exist; if He did, why had He given me so many problems? I was very wary of the members who talked of their spiritual lives. pp. 365-366 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have. p. 76 ************************************************** ********* There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. --John Andrew Holme Keeping hearts happy is a lot like keeping bodies happy. We need to feed our hearts well through reading, prayer, and meditation, and to exercise them by loving. --Jane Nakken The Twelve Steps have powerfully guided me from just surviving to living. --Elizabeth Farrell God's gifts are slowly revealed. --Michele Fedderly God is with us in every problem we face. --Naoko Ezaki ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DOUBT "Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." -- Will Durant Spirituality is the art of knowing that we do not know. It is waking up in the morning with our eyes fully opened and awaiting the adventure of the new day. New things, new theories, new facts are being discovered every day and it makes for a glorious, confusing and exciting world. There was a time when I could not say this; a time when knowledge and facts were collected and regurgitated. I used knowledge to protect myself from the challenge and inconsistencies of life. God had to be not only a proven fact but evidenced in theories and dogmas --- the mystery was lost. Today I believe that God cannot be contained by dogma and rules. The doubts have become part of my faith. The state of "not knowing" becomes creative and stimulating. My relationship with God today is real. To "not know" is the beginning of wisdom. You, who have spoken through the wind and the fire, speak through my doubts. ************************************************** ********* God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5 The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Often times the happiness you seek is already near at hand. Lord, help me to appreciate what I already have because You never stop blessing me even when I don't notice. When you can't seem to be a shining example, at least twinkle a little. Lord, when I am weary, You are there. When I am weak, You are there. When I stumble, You are always ready to pick me up. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Learning To Love Ourselves "What we want most is to feel good about ourselves." Basic Text, p. 97 "We'll love you until you can learn to love yourself!" These words, heard so often in our meetings, promise a day we look forward to eagerly - the day when we'll know how to love ourselves. Self-esteem, we all want this elusive quality as soon as we hear about it. Some of us seem to stumble upon it accidentally, while others embark on a course of action complete with affirmations made to our reflections in the mirror. But fix-it-yourself techniques and trendy psychological cures can only take us so far. There are some definite, practical steps we can take to show love for ourselves, whether we "feel" that love or not. We can take care of our personal responsibilities. We can do nice things for ourselves, as we would for a lover or a friend. We can start paying attention to our own needs. We can even pay attention to the qualities that we cherish in our friends - qualities like intelligence and humor - and look for those same qualities in ourselves. We're sure to find that we really are lovable people, and once we do that, we're well on our way. Just for today: I will do something today that helps me recognize and feel love for myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Laughter by definition is healthy. --Doris Lessing A hearty laugh can warm a cold room and make our spirits soar. But many of us are afraid to laugh, especially when we make mistakes. We think we're supposed to be perfect, and we don't allow ourselves to make mistakes. However, we're not a mold punched out by a machine. We're human beings, with all our wonderful flaws. It is those flaws that make our lives interesting and surprising. Who knows when we might accidentally bump into a chair or catch our sweater on a doorknob? We needn't feel self-conscious, it happens to many of us. The ability to laugh at ourselves is a gift from God. All we need to do is grab it and use it. Then we will see how healthy and powerful laughter can be. Can I find the humor in my mistakes today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Before the rain stops we hear a bird. Even under the heavy snow we see snowdrops and some new growth. --Shunryu Suzuki The signals that new growth is underway are often very small at first. It's sometimes discouraging when we are trying to remake our lives and all we can see for our efforts is minor growth. That is how the natural world works, and we are part of this world. When the little sprouts of growth first develop under the snow in spring we don't even see them unless we search. Yet, they signal the beginnings of a total transformation. Time will bring vast changes, but only little signs are showing first. Today, we may search for signs of progress in our lives. The little things we see may signal bigger transformations yet to come. To be true to them in the long run we must accept them - even welcome them - as they are today. I will notice the subtle movements toward health and renewal in my life. Welcoming them will encourage them. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Surrender Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. --Step Three of Al Anon Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered. We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible. Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe. And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided. It will be good. Understand that it is good, now. Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none. Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered. Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours. Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power. I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive. With every breath that I take, healing is taking place. I relax safely in the knowledge that positive, healing energy is working in my life today. I am being renewed and refreshed and energized. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Your Dreams Are Important A woman told me about a dream she had, one that was bothering her deeply. “What do you think it means?” she asked. “I don’t know,” I replied. “Besides, it doesn’t matter what I think. The important thing is what you think. What’s it telling you?” We dream two kinds of dreams– waking dreams and sleeping dreams. Both are powerful forms of consciousness. Our sleeping dreams, the images that dance in our minds while we sleep, hold many clues to life, growth, the future, the past, healing, and our connections with others. They may reveal suppressed emotions. They may be bits and pieces of prophecy. They may be symbols of truths we’re about to learn. Our waking dreams are important,too. We go about daily with our expectations, wants, desires, hopes– our heart’s plan for the future. We may not express these dreams. We may not even realize we are superimposing them on our lives, much the same way we can forget what we dream when we sleep. There’s power in allowing ourselves to become conscious of our dreams. What are our dreams telling us about what we want, fear, hope for, desire? Expressing our dreams will connect us to our consciousness and a higher consciousness. Expressing them will connect us to the creative force. Tapping into our dreams helps us tap into creativity– creativity for our lives, creativity for projects, the powerful creative force of the universe. There’s power in dreaming, whether we’re asleep or awake. Take time to honor and express your dreams. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn to deal with manipulations Even if you understand and follow all of the rules for more effectively engaging manipulators, life with them is not likely to be easy. –George K. Simon Jr. Sometimes they want something. Sometimes they want someone. Sometimes they want someone to give them something or to feel a particular way. They want power, in some way, shape, or form. Manipulators prey on our weak spots. Obsession and guilt are weapons. Manipulators get us to use these weapons on ourselves. Sometimes we can disengage from manipulators– walk away, set a clear limit, be done with them. Other times, it’s not that easy. We may be at least temporarily stuck with a boss or authority figure who indulges in heavy manipulation. One of our children may be going through a relentlessly manipulative period. We may have a parent whom we care about deeply who has adapted manipulation as a way of life. Learn how to effectively deal with manipulators. Not everyone means what they say. People fling words about to hit our guilty, vain, or frightened spots. Recognize that tinge of guilt or coercion you feel when other people are trying to force you to do it their way. Learn to recognize when others are telling you what they believe you want to hear. Learn to not react, stay clear, practice nonresistence, and stay true to yourself. Be gentle with yourself, if you have a manipulator in your life. You’re not responsible for the other person’s attempts at manipulation. You’re responsible for staying clear. God, help me let go of the weak spots in myself that allow me to fall prey to manipulations. Help me stay clear of guilt and obsession so I can decide what’s best for me. ****************************************** Defense Mechanisms Beyond Behavior by Madisyn Taylor We can let go of our defense mechanisms when we are ready to be truly honest with ourselves. We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. Such behavior is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because we are spiritual beings as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to work directly from that place of truth within us. Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. Passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defenses can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us. When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, then we can connect our desires to the creative power of the spirit within us. Knowing that we are one with the energy of the universe allows us release any need for defense. Trusting that power, we know that we are exactly where we are meant to be, and that challenges bring gifts of growth and experience. When we can put down arms raised in defense, then we are free to use our hands, minds, hearts and spirits to mold and shape our abundant energy to create and live our lives. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Merely to change my behavior, and what I say and do, doesn’t prove there’s been a change in my actual inner attitude. I’m deceiving myself if I believe I can somehow completely disguise my true feelings. They’ll somehow come through, prolonging the difficulties in my relationships with others. I have to avoid half-measures in getting rid of the trouble-some emotions I’ve been trying to hide. Have I taken an honest inventory of myself? Today I Pray May I know that feelings will come out somehow — sometimes barely disguised as behavior that I cannot always understand. But that perhaps in more acceptable to me than the root emotion that caused it. May I be completely and vigilantly honest with myself. May I be given the insight that comes through depending upon a Higher Power. Today I Will Remember Feelings can come out “sideways.” ****************************************** One More Day We cannot learn without pain. – Aristotle It is said that pain and experience are life’s two greatest teachers. What good would it be if we felt pain each day but never learned from it? And what good would it be if we coasted through life without experiencing joy along with sorrow? There can be no depth of personality or depth of character if our lives have been perfect. Experience etches our hearts and souls, gives us depth, and deepens the horizon of our days. No individual has lived a life completely without pain, without sorrow. We can move beyond our pain and sorrow to grow in new directions. I can accept the lessons I am learning of tolerance to living a less-than-perfect life. These lessons help me grow. ************************************ Food For Thought "Normal" Eating The idea that we will one day be able to eat spontaneously, like normal people, is a delusion. We compulsive overeaters tend to think that once we lose our excess pounds, we can go back to "normal" eating. Not so. It is our experience that once a compulsive overeater, always a compulsive overeater. There is no way we will ever be able to eat spontaneously without eventually getting into trouble. When we reach our desired weight, we continue to eat three measured meals a day with nothing in between, and we continue to avoid entirely our personal binge foods. When we accept our permanent need to abstain, when we accept the fact that we can never return to what we thought was normal eating, then we can stop making irrational attempts at experimentation which always fail. By accepting our disease and learning to live with it, we become sane and free. We see that our new eating plan is really very normal. It was the old compulsive overeating habit which was abnormal in the extreme. Thank you, Lord, for sanity. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FEELINGS ~ We honor ourselves and our friends when we can tell them how we feel. Theodore Isaac Rubin I always felt that if I didn't rob a bank or tell a lie that I was being honest. But when I began working the Twelve Steps, I learned what honesty really meant. Expressing my negative thoughts and feelings in the fast-moving world I found myself caused problems ... or I imagined it would. Therefore, I tried to pretend everything was wonderful and right and perfect. One of the great blessings of my life is to know that I can now "feel" my emotions, express them to others who understand and somehow always feel better for having done so. Of course, I am still selective in choosing to whom I express my deepest feelings, but I do not pretend anymore that things are right when they're wrong. I do not gloss over bad things and make them good. One day at a time... I feel my feelings and express them honestly, knowing that they're neither right nor wrong ... and I rejoice at the feeling of freedom I experience when I allow my emotions to flow from me. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. - Pg. 145 - To Employers Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Living life on life's terms,' just what does this mean to us? It doesn't mean we will get a brownie button for every day we stay abstinent. It simply means life can be tough and we can still stay sober if we chose to live by principle. Help me live life on life's terms by accepting the good along with bad realizing that 'realities' are not good excuses to use mind-affecting chemicals. My Feelings Have Force Today, even though I am feeling out of sorts I will take responsibility for what I am putting out to others. Am I appreciating the efforts people are making for me. Am I looking into and beyond their faces as they are looking into mine. Am I giving them half a chance to help me and am I giving myself half a chance to be helped? As I move through the experiences of my day, I will try to remain conscious of others efforts and well as my own. I will appreciate what is being done for me. I let good in - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Life begins right outside your comfort zone. Start changing. If I fail to change the person I was when I came in, that person will take me out! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Prayers that get answered are Prayers with feet. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I trust all that comes up for me today. I now know there is no value in hiding the truth from myself. I choose today to know everything about me and I am excited about this new adventure. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Serenity is being able to stand still and sit amidst the storms and conflicts of life - And we're going to have plenty. If we're not having storms and conflicts, we're not living. - Kate B. ( Quoting Fr. Barney. ) |
March 9
Daily Reflections SURRENDERING SELF-WILL Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 34 No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can one turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for the answer to this question, I became aware of the wisdom with which it was written: that this is a two-part Step. I could see many times where I should have died, or at least been injured, during my previous style of living, and it never happened. Someone, or something, was looking after me. I choose to believe my life has always been in God's care. He alone controls the number of days I will be granted until physical death. The matter of will (self-will or God's will) is the more difficult part of the Step for me. It is only when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God's will for my life. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line with God's will for me, there is peace within. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day If we had absolute faith in the power of God to keep us from drinking and if we turned our drink problem entirely over to God without reservations, we wouldn't have to do anything more about it. We'd be free from drink once and for all. But since our faith is apt to be weak, we have to strengthen and build up this faith. We do this in several ways. One way is by going to meetings and listening to others tell how they have found all the strength they need to overcome drink. Is my faith being strengthened by this personal witness of other alcoholics? Meditation For The Day It is the quality of my life that determines its value. In order to judge the value of a man's life, we must set up a standard. The most valuable life is one of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. All men's lives must be judged by this standard in order to determine their value to the world. By this standard, most of the so-called heroes of history were not great men. "What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, if he loseth his own soul?" Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be honest, pure, unselfish and loving. I pray that I may make the quality of my life good by these standards. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Renew Your Effort, p. 68 "Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please do not worry about a temporary loss of your inner peace. As calmly as you can, just renew your effort in the A.A. program, especially those parts of it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis. "Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is? Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine. But guilt--no. "Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for better things." Letter, 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places The Best outcome is just and equitable. Principle over personality. Looking ahead to this day, I may face a possible conflict with another person over a certain issue. How should I respond to this? If I'm to follow my principles, I should hold to the idea of seeking the best outcome for everybody concerned. It may be very harmful to look at these conflicts as a case of winning or losing. If I seem to win when I'm wrong, I will lose in the long run. If I seem to lose even when I'm right, I can know that there's just resolution of everything in time. I will always win, however, if I keep my thinking straight and take care to avoid resentment and bitterness. It's not surprising that the world is beset by conflicts. Millions of people have conditioned themselves to selfish ways of thinking and behaving that are bound to cause such conflicts. Much harm is done by people who are absolutely sure they are right at all times. As human beings, we cannot expect to be excluded from these conflicts simply because we have a Twelve Step program. We do, however, have a means of dealing with such conflicts effectively when we respond according to principle. This makes us privileged people in a way, but it is good to know that any person can have the same privileges by following the right principles. Unpleasant as any conflict may seem, it does give me an opportunity to learn and to grow. I will seek to benefit from any such conflict today. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.---Irish Proverb Each of us has been given recovery. Now it's up to each of us what we do with it. At times, we'll work hard to grow quickly. At other times, our growth will be slower. This is okay. We're not in a race. Our pace is not important. What is important is that we're always working on our recovery. We're all part of a fellowship, a caring group. We're one of many. But we're each important. Each of us will have a special way to work our programs through our readings, friends, meetings, and what we know of how life works. each of us puts together a miracle of recovery. We than take our miracle and share it with others, so they can build their miracle. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me work at growing. Help me be a person who is an important part of a group. Action for the Day: Today, I'll work at seeing myself as very important. I'll remind myself that other's recovery also depends on my recovery. I am needed. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I want to get you excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now. --Virginia Satir Deciding to recover was our first step. That decision meant we did want to go beyond where we were. We did want something better for ourselves. And at times, in fleeting moments, we have been excited about who we are and our prospects for a better life. The excitement and the inspiration come and go; they are seldom stationary. We can actively create the excitement and the inspiration. We need not wait for them to come to us. That's one of the choices we have as human beings, as women. Passively waiting for "the good life" is past behavior. Each day, this day, we can set our sights on reaching a goal--we can take a step, or two, toward that goal. Progress is there for the making--achievement is there for the taking. Whatever our hearts' pure desires, we can move toward that goal. We are what we need to be. We have what we need to move ahead. Today, I will let my excitement for life's possibilities spur me on. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: “What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholics’ plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.” p. 43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. My sponsor was a living damper on my intolerance. But even more, he told me that it would be all right for me to doubt God, that A.A. was not a religious program and, to belong, I did not have to adhere to any set of beliefs. p. 366 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Steps Eight and Nine are concerned with personal relations. First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know. p. 77 ************************************************** ********* Speaking without thinking is shooting without aiming. --French Proverb Help your brother across the stream and you'll find yourself on the other side. "You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him." --Leo Aikman Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. --Leo Buscaglia Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart. --Anthony J. D'Angelo Make the most of your life by choosing to enjoy everything you do. God, help me open my heart to the full potential of every moment in my life. --Melody Beattie "We aren't bodies at all; who we are is the love inside us, and it is that love alone that determines our value. When our minds are filled with light, there is no room for darkness." --Marianne Williamson Whether our sins are known or not, God offers us forgiveness. --Charles P. Axe ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GREED "Not he who has little, but he who wishes more, is poor." -- Seneca (4 B. C. -- A. D. 65) In my recovery I must still deal with that compulsive side of my nature that always wants more. I forget to be grateful for what I have. I ruin relationships because I have a code of behavior that I expect from others but not myself! I miss the fun of the moment because I am preoccupied with what I am missing elsewhere. I miss the comfort of my own home as I fantasize about country mansions owned by millionaires. Always I want more --- and yet in my own experience more has always been less. Today I work hard on a spiritual program of gratitude. I have a checklist of things I need to be grateful for; I work on my disease of greed by talking about it. Thank You for that part of me that must remain "poor". ************************************************** ********* "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted to the earth!" Psalms 46:10 God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5 Accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. Romans 15:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We all need time for ourselves and time to be with our friends in order to be joyful. Lord, help me to balance my day and renew my spirit. Keep yourself young in spirit always by thinking new thoughts and getting rid of old habits. Lord, may my spirit never become frail and my abilities never become barren. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Small Things "In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills." Basic Text, p. 87 Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who forget all pretense of principle when confronted with a bad driver? And what about that can opener that won't work—you know, the one you just threw out the second story window? We can relate when we hear others share, "God, grant me patience right now!" No, it's not the major setbacks that drive us to distraction. The big things—divorce, death, serious illness, the loss of a job—will throw us, but we survive them. We've learned from experience that we must reach out to our Higher Power and others to make it through life's major crises. It's the small things, the constant day-to-day challenges of living life without the use of drugs, that seem to affect most addicts most strongly in recovery. When the little things get to us, the Serenity Prayer can help us regain our perspective. We can all remember that "turning over" these small matters to the care of our Higher Power results in peace of mind and a refreshed perspective on life. Just for today: I will work on patience. I will try to keep from blowing things out of proportion, and walk with my Higher Power through my day. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start. --Charles Baudelaire A big assignment can be scary to face. We may start to think that how we do on the assignment will determine if we're good or bad people. The more we think about it, the harder that task seems. The key to overcoming our negative feelings is to say to ourselves that we are capable of finishing our projects. We must say it over and over until we start believing it's true. Then we can attack the assignment with vitality and positive energy we didn't know we had. We can make up our minds to do our best and accept that from ourselves. We say Edison was a genius, but our light bulbs still burn out regularly. Even Einstein was wrong once in a while, and he knew it, but that didn't stop him from trying. When we feel afraid to start something because it seems too big a job, let's stop and think what the first step would be, and do each small step in its own time. What can I start that I've been putting off? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own shin. --Andre Berthiaume The masks men wear are as varied as those who wear them, but their purpose is quite simple. We wear masks to hide our real faces from those around us and even from ourselves. There are seductive masks, innocent masks, white knight masks, tough guy masks, black sheep masks, lone wolf masks, and many more. Sometimes we want to take on another identity so others won't see our insecurities. Or we think taking the form of someone else will give us power over others, or they will like us better, or we can escape ourselves. The cost of wearing a mask is not getting a chance to develop our real personalities. What masks are we attached to? Are we willing to give them up in the interest of our spiritual growth? May I have the courage to drop my phony masks in order to grow stronger in self knowledge. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Taking Care of Ourselves We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another persons feelings. Its impossible; the two acts contradict. What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries! Its good to care about other people and their feelings; its essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take good care of ourselves, we need to make a choice. Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about never hurting other peoples feelings. We can replace that message with a new one; one that says its not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings. That's okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allows others to be responsible for themselves. Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two. Today, I will set the limits I need to set. I will let go of my need to take care of other peoples feelings and instead take care of my own. I will give myself permission to take care of myself, knowing its the best thing I can do for others and myself. Today I know that I am in charge of the quality of my life. I am growing in the ability to become aware of the thoughts that have been controlling me. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Let Your Visions Guide You Visions are different from dreams. A vision is a picture that comes from the soul and comes out through the heart. A vision is a small glimpse of light that shines and shows us our path. It is a quick flash of something that hasn’t happened yet. It may tell us something about today or ten years from now. Visions occur when our souls look at the map for our lives, get a sense of where we’re going, and tell our hearts how to find that place. The more conscious and clear and direct we are, the more we can tune into and help create the highest vision for our lives. What do you want? What would feel right? What do you see yourself doing? Be clear and concise, then let it go. Sometimes when we run out of dreams, we have to rely on our visions, these small glimpses of light, to lead the way. Learn to see the visions in your heart. Learn to trust them. Learn to help create them. Allow them to manifest themselves. When the path is dark, learn to be comfortable with these small bursts of light. Let your visions guide you home. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Know your limits While it’s good to be compassionate, we can become overly compassionate,too. Don’t work so hard at not judging other people that you forget to pay attention to what you don’t like. “I know what it feels like to be abandoned and left. I don’t like the feeling, so I’m not going to leave my boyfriend,” Clara says. She’s living with a man who abuses her, emotionally and physically. “I’m not going to judge her,” Ralph says about his new wife. She’s using cocaine and stealing money from him to get high. “She’s had a hard life, and I haven’t walked in her shoes.” “I need to be compassionate and nonjudgemental with my son,” Robert says about a child who’s driving him to distraction with his manipulations and lies. “He’s had a hard life. His mother died when he was three. And I’m the only person he’s got left.” You can set boundaries with someone, without judging that person. You can decide that behaviors are inappropriate and hurt you, without condemning that person. Don’t forget, you have a right to say “ouch.” We can say whatever with compassion and still take care of ourselves. God, help me set appropriate limits with the people in my life. ****************************************** Capturing Life’s Flavor Taking a Field Trip When we were children, few words were more exciting to hear than the phrase "field trip." Field trips were a break from schoolwork and an opportunity to go on an adventure with friends. Now that we are grown ups, taking a field trip can be just as fun and memorable – if only we were willing to sign our own permission slips so we could go on one. Allowing yourself to get stuck in your routine can make life seem boring. Adding a touch of variety to your life in the form of a field trip can break up the monotony of your days and lead you to adventure. Unlike the jaunts that were regulated by teachers or monitored by parents, taking a field trip as an adult can lead you anywhere you want. You can go on a daylong retreat or spend just a few hours at your destination. A field trip can be an opportunity to explore a new landscape or discover something about yourself. Taking a day trip to another town or visiting an unfamiliar spot in your neighborhood can be educational and fun. There is also much to be said for finding a beautiful spot under a tree where you can read a book. You can even go to one of your favorite spots and allow yourself to experience it as if you were visiting there for the first time. Going on a field trip is as much a state of mind as it is a change in the scenery. During a “grown up” field trip, schedules, clocks, and duties are put aside so you can focus wholeheartedly on mindfully enjoying yourself. Planning a field trip can be almost as fun as going on one. A field trip is an excursion to look forward to and an experience to be savored after the fact. Wherever you decide to go and whatever you decide to do, going on a field trip can add much pleasure and excitement to your life. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We learn in The Program and its Twelve Steps that as we grow spiritually, we find that our old attitudes toward our instinctual drives need to undergo drastic revisions. Our demands for emotional security and wealth,for personal prestige and power, all have to be tempered and redirected. We learn that the full satisfaction of these demands cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives. But when we’re willing to place spiritual growth first — then and only then do we have a real chance to grow in healthy awareness and mature love. Am I willing to place spiritual growth first? Today I Pray May my development as a spiritual person temper my habitual hankerings for materil security. May I understand that the only real security in life is spiritual. If I have faith in my Higher Power, these revisions in my attitudes will follow. May I grow first in spiritual awareness. Today I Will Remember Value the life of the spirit. ****************************************** One More Day Don’t waste today regretting yesterday instead of making a memory for tomorrow. – Laura Palmer Our youthful dreams were filled with grand expectations of our impact on the world. Some of those goals were reached; many were not. Now, it’s easier to accept that not all our plans will come to pass. In accepting that, we are able to set new goals that better reflect our dreams and ideals today. For a while it may seem as though we are “just surviving,” but we can have more. At our stage of life we are capable of making mature decisions, of setting more realistic goals. Each day we can reflect upon our accomplishments and upon the joy of family, friends, and job. Finally, we can feel comfortable with ourselves, and we can look forward to our tomorrows. Yesterday is gone and unchangeable, but today is real and is mine to use. ************************************ Food For Thought No Ultimate "ah" When we were overeating, we sought an ultimate experience of satisfaction from food. No matter what kind of food we ate, or how much, we never found that moment of satisfaction, that ultimate "ah." It was always just ahead, in the next bite. Have we finally realized that the ultimate "ah" which we looked for in food does not exist? No matter what we eat, or how much, it will always elude us. Whatever we are looking for--happiness, success, peace, and fulfillment--it is not to be found in the refrigerator. We do not promise that working the OA program will bring instant gratification or constant happiness. What we do know is that through the Twelve Steps we are given positive experiences which we did not have before OA. We are happier, more successful, more at peace, and more fulfilled than we ever were before we found this program. By realizing that food holds no ultimate "ah," we can stop destroying ourselves by chasing a rainbow which does not exist. May I stop searching for happiness where it is not to be found. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER ~ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." Frank Herbert, Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune Recently in our meeting room we had a new ‘member’. He was HUGE – well, we thought so, but who are we to judge? He was hairy, well maybe we’re not perfect...He strode into the room like he owned the place. Well certainly he had as much right to be there as we all did. We shrieked. Maybe it was those 8 hairy legs, maybe it’s because he ran towards us like a streak of lightening, who knows. Whatever he must have thought watching us giants leaping around the room we can only guess. He certainly seemed far more scared of us than we of him. It got me thinking of the insanity of some fears. After all what could this fragile little hairy thing do to me? He didn’t have 8 giant slippers to hit ME on the head. I was the one with the power, yet, through my fear I was giving HIM the power he really didn’t have. Instead of using the Power to give myself more confidence and behave rationally, I was wasting it away, GIVING it away. So many times I seem to repeat this same pattern. Of course some fears are rational, but most aren’t. This program gives ME the freedom to ask my Higher Power to take away my shortcomings. To relax and step back and make a fresh start. I need never be afraid again of irrational things, not if I truly work the program. Itsy Bitsy Spider scuttled out of the meeting in rather a hurry that night. Was he trying to avoid participating in the 7th Tradition? Or did he have a genuine rational fear? Maybe he was quite simply restored to sanity. One Day at a Time . . . I will not be afraid ... I will not empower anything to cause me to be fearful. ~ Marlene ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. - Pg. 133 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Now is the time to get into action and into the solution and stop being a part of your problem! Do this by remembering your last high, your last run, your last hopeless desperation. Then share that story with the next person you see and tell them how it led you to this new path of sobriety. Show me the next person I am to share my story with. Giving My Body a Voice Today I will write in my journal as a part of my body. I might say something like, 'I am your back and I want to cry. I am tired o being silent and this is what I want you to hear. Or maybe I'll say, 'as your stomach I want to rebel. I want to relax, and let go of all this'..'Or I am your legs and I wish you appreciated me. I carry you all around the world but you are constantly wishing I were different.' I will let my body parts have a voice and scribble their thoughts onto paper them I will read what they have said to me and wonder about what they have told me. I will put pen to paper - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you are not happy with what you have, what makes you think you would be happy with more? Happiness is not having what I want but wanting what I have. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you meet more than three assholes in one day, you need a meeting. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know that I am in charge of the quality of my life. I am growing in the ability to become aware of the thoughts that have been controlling me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote God washed my eyes with tears until I could finally see. - Anon. |
March 10
Daily Reflections TODAY, IT'S MY CHOICE . . . we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.62 With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action--or inaction--whatever the consequences may be. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We also strengthen our faith by working with other alcoholics and finding that we can do nothing ourselves to help them, except to tell them our own story of how we found the way out. If the person is helped, it's by the grace of God and not by what we do or say. Our own faith is strengthened when we see another alcoholic find sobriety by turning to God. And finally we strengthen our faith by having quiet times every morning. Do I ask God in this quiet time for the strength to stay sober this day? Meditation For The Day My five senses are my means of communication with the material world. They are the links between my physical life and the material manifestations around me. But I must sever all connections with the material world when I wish to hold communion with the Great Spirit of the universe. I have to hush my mind and bid all my senses be still, before I can become attuned to receive the music of the heavenly spheres. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may get my spirit in tune with the Spirit of the universe. I pray that through faith and communion with Him I may receive the strength I need. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Giving Without Demand, p. 69 Watch any A.A. of six months working with a Twelfth Step prospect. If the newcomer says, "To the devil with you," the twelfth-stepper only smiles and finds another alcoholic to help. He doesn't feel frustrated or rejected. If his next drunk responds, and in turn starts to give love and attention to other sufferers, yet gives none back to him, the sponsor is happy about it anyway. He still doesn't feel rejected; instead he rejoices that his former prospect is sober and happy. And he well knows that his own life has been made richer, as an extra dividend of giving to another without any demand for a return. Grapevine, January 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Ousting the Green Demon___Victory over Jealousy. We hear of successful people who drop their old friends after moving up the ladder. Maybe, however, it wasn't their choice. Maybe they were driven to do so because their friend's jealousy made the friendship unworkable. We have little trouble accepting a stranger's good fortune; it's a different feeling, however, when friends and co-workers move ahead of us. If the green demon of jealousy strikes during the day, we can come to terms with it in several ways. First, accept no guilt that it happens, because jealousy is part of the human condition. Next, depersonalize it by remembering that good fortune comes to all people in various ways. Then check your own gratitude level to make sure that it hasn't been sinking. This serves as a reminder that there's no shortage of the things that really make for happiness and personal well-being in life. We can easily tell when we've been able to oust the green demon. We'll be able to be relaxed and gracious while extending congratulations for another person's good fortune. And months down the road, we'll be genuinely sympathetic…. Not vindictive… if the other person's luck turns sour. While I don't expect to feel jealousy today, I accept the fact that it can happen. Should it appear, I'll work calmly to deal with it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Little things affect little minds.---Benjamin Disraeli Before recovery, we liked things our way. We thought every new thing we tired should go right the first time. Little problems could really upset us. We let little things spoil our day. We let little things affect big things---our entire lives. And our bad moods affected people around us. Funny how we have fewer of those problems now. The program is teaching us to let go. What a relief when we know we don't have to control every little thing. How nice when things get done without our "expert advice"! We are starting to see what's really important, and what's not. One promise of the program is coming true: we know how to handle situations better. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see what is really important for me today. Help me to stop worrying about what's not. Action for the Day: When I'm upset, I'll ask myself, Is this problem really so bad? If I can't change it. I'll let go. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It is healthier to see the good points of others than to analyze our own bad ones. --Francoise Sagan Looking for the good in others is good for one's soul. Self-respect, self-love grows each time we openly acknowledge another's admirable qualities. Comparisons we make of ourselves with others, focusing on how we fail to measure up (another woman is prettier, thinner, more intelligent, has a better sense of humor, attracts people, and on and on) is a common experience. And we come away from the comparison feeling generally inadequate and unloving toward the other woman. It is a spiritual truth that our love for and praise of others will improve our own self-image. It will rub off on us, so-to-speak. An improved self-image diminishes whatever bad qualities one has imagined. Praise softens. Criticism hardens. We can become all that we want to become. We can draw the love of others to us as we more willingly offer love and praise. We have an opportunity to help one another as we help ourselves grow in the self-love that is so necessary to the successful living of each day. I will see the good points in others today. And I will give praise. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. p. 43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. He suggested that for me a good starting point would simply be recognition of the fact that I had failed in running the world--in short, acceptance of the fact that I was not God. He also suggested that I might try occasionally to act as if I believed. Somewhere I had heard that it is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way acting, and this made sense in the context of "acting as if." p. 366 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." This is a very large order. It is a task which we may perform with increasing skill, but never really finish. Learning how to live in the greatest peace, partnership, and brotherhood with all men and women, of whatever description, is a moving and fascinating adventure. Every A.A. has found that he can make little headway in this new adventure of living until he first backtracks and really makes an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage he has left in his wake. To a degree, he has already done this when taking moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt, and in what ways. This reopening of emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and some still painfully festering, will at first look like a purposeless and pointless piece of surgery. But if a willing start is made, then the great advantages of doing this will so quickly reveal themselves that the pain will be lessened as one obstacle after another melts away. pp. 77-78 ************************************************** ********* We are prisoners of our own resentments. Forgiveness unlocks the door and sets us free. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. --Will Rogers H E A R T = Healing, Enjoying, And Recovering, Together. "The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." --Sydney J. Harris "The time is always right to do what is right." --Martin Luther King, Jr. A smile is your most magnetic and attractive characteristic. Wear one today and see how many people it draws to you. My doubts and fears, will drive me back into the wilderness. I must trust God. When God calls, God makes a way. --Lynn Sloan Barnes ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SCIENCE "We have to live today by what truth we can get today and be ready tomorrow to call it falsehood." -- William James To change is to be imperfect and to be imperfect is to be wrong --- at times! As an alcoholic I have a problem with ego; always wanting to be right, hating to say, "I am sorry", not wishing to appear out of control. In sobriety I must wrestle with my ego on a daily basis. However, although I find it difficult to accept that I am imperfect, I know that I am! I know that I need to make amends. I know that I produce most of the pain in my life. Today's facts are stepping stones to tomorrow's falsehoods --- and I grow with this knowledge. Spirituality is growing in the knowledge that I do not have all the answers. Let me experience joy and growth in the dilemmas of life. ************************************************** ********* "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act." Psalm 37:4-5 Accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. Romans 15:7 For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Proverbs 2 : 10 "And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers." Ephesians 4:11 Commit your way to the Lord; trusting Him, and He will act. Psalm 37:5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Home is a place where we can have a bit of heaven on earth. Lord, bless our home and help make it a place of love and kindness. It is you, not where you are or what you have, that makes the difference. Lord, may I always blossom where I am planted. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Our Own Recovery "The steps are our solution. They are our survival kit They are our defense against addiction, a deadly disease. Our steps are the principles that make our recovery possible." Basic Text, p. 19 There's lots to like in Narcotics Anonymous. The meetings, for one, are great. We get to see our friends, hear some inspiring stories, share some practical experience, maybe even hook up with our sponsor. The campouts, the conventions, the dances are all wonderful, clean fun in the company of other recovering addicts. But the heart of our recovery program is the Twelve Steps—in fact, they are the program! We've heard it said that we can't stay clean by osmosis—in other words, we can't just attend meetings, no matter how many, and expect to breathe recovery in through the pores of our skin. Recovery, as another saying goes, is an inside job. And the tools we use in working that "inside job" are the Twelve Steps. Hearing endlessly about acceptance is one thing; working the First Step for ourselves is something very different. Stories about making amends may be inspiring, yet nothing will give us the freedom from remorse that taking the Ninth Step ourselves will give. The same applies to all twelve steps. There's much to appreciate about NA, but to get the most from our recovery we must work the Twelve Steps for ourselves. Just for today: I want everything my personal program has to offer. I will work the steps for myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The older you get the more you realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness. --Lionel Barrymore Once in a while, we forget about the kind things people have done for us. Do we remember the next-door neighbor who helped us get our kite out of a tree, or the brother who helped us finish a project for school? If we think about these kindnesses, we will remember how happy we were to receive them. These people and others may need a kindness we can give. Our next-door neighbor may get sick and need us to go to the store, a brother or sister may need to borrow a radio, or the elderly person down the street may need the lawn mowed. Whenever we take the time to give a kindness, we will find that like the boomerang, it returns to us in the form of happiness. Will I be alert to my chances to give kindness today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. --Helen Keller The human race is a huge mixture of dignity and degradation and every man inherits the blend. We can respect the slave in us for his endurance and suffering. And the king in us earns our respect for his leadership and justice. Are we ashamed of who we are or where we have come from? Then we may have to look deeper and ask if we are really different from any other man. Do we believe we must conform to some mold of acceptability, some proper appearance? Are we so focused on the surface that we miss the deeper values of our humanness? Sometimes we take on a reverse smugness and become judgmental of the person who looks successful or speaks well. We think, "I can't like him, he's in a different class." We all need acceptance and respect, and in this program we are equals from the first day. God, grant me the self esteem to accept the whole mixture that comes together in me and in the people around me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Living with Families I was forty-six years old before I finally admitted to myself and someone else that my grandfather always managed to make me feel guilty, angry, and controlled. --Anonymous We may love and care about our family very much. Family members may love and care about us. But interacting with some members may be a real trigger to our codependency - sometimes to a deep abyss of shame, rage, anger, guilt, and helplessness. It can be difficult to achieve detachment, or an emotional level, with certain family members. It can be difficult to separate their issues from ours. It can be difficult to own our power. Difficult, but not impossible. The first step is awareness and acceptance - simple acknowledgment, without guilt, of our feelings and thoughts. We do not have to blame our family members. We do not have to blame or shame ourselves. Acceptance is the goal - acceptance and freedom to choose what we want and need to do to take care of ourselves with that person. We can become free of the patterns of the past. We are recovering. Progress is the goal. Today, Higher Power, help me be patient with myself as I learn how to apply recovery behaviors with family members. Help me strive today for awareness and acceptance. I am open and willing to take a step forward in a new direction. I am no longer allowing myself to stay stuck by old thoughts and feelings. This new place is exciting and energizing. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Beware of Gossip Gossip is a seductive pastime that can be harmful to others, harmful to ourselves. Some gossip is innocent.We chatter about the experiences of others lightly, joyfully, in a way that doesn’t hurt. Other gossip isn’t so innocent. It’s rooted in anger, jealousy, betrayal, and sometimes hatred. We feel deprived and cheated– hurt-so we want to hurt another. Would you stand and throw darts at someone? Would you pick up a knife and stab that person in the back? I think not. Yet, when we gossip, we do the same thing. Words, especially those coated with emotion, carry energy, sometimes potentially damaging energy. When we hurt another, we hurt ourselves. Both are injured. We need to deal with our feelings of anger, hurt, betrayal, or jealousy before they wound through gossip. While walking this journey, you must learn of the dangers. Gossip is one of them. Heal the feelings underneath so you can speak lightly with words of love. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let it be Life is a series of letting go’s– an “infinite” series of letting go’s. All things in life are given us on loan. Stand face-to-face with life, learn to let go, and whatever comes our way– success or failure, joy or sorrow, support or betrayal, light or darkness– it all blesses us. Once we have learned to let go, we are prepared for whatever life gives us. And death itself is nothing to be feared. –Matthew Fox For many years, I resisted the concept of letting go. I resisted mostly because I didn’t understand what people were talking about. I’d be loudly obsessing about something. “Just let go,” they’d say. “Okay,” I’d say. Then I’d walk away and wonder what they meant, and mostly how to do it. Soon, I caught on. If I didn’t want people harping on me about letting go, I needed to obsess silently. Privately. Or at least in the presence of someone who wouldn’t lecture me about letting go. As the years wore on, I was forced into letting go. Eventually I even wrote a book called The Language of Letting go. I thought it was the end of my need to practice letting go. When my son died, I learned that writing the book was only a prelude, an introductory course in letting go. Over the years that followed, I gradually began to learn a new respect for this behavior called letting go. Letting go is a behavior we can practice each day, whatever the circumstances in our lives. It’s a behavior that benefits relationships we want to work. It’s a helpful behavior in insane relationships, too. It’s a useful tool to use when we really want to bring something or someone into our lives, and in accomplishing our goals. It’s a helpful tool to use on outdated behaviors such as low self-esteem and manipulation. Letting go takes the emotional charge, the drama, out of things and restores us to a sense of balance, peace, and spiritual power. Letting go works well on the past and the future. It brings us into today. Paraphrasing the mystic writer Matthew Fox, everything that comes, comes to pass. Denystify letting go. It’s not as complicated as it sounds. Learning the art of letting go really means learning to calmly let things be. God, help me learn to let go. ****************************************** You Deserve To Have Your Dreams Come True Personal Power Many of us have do not understand what personal power means. We have been given the false notion that power is bad—that it is something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realize that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power. In the chakra system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualize a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power. Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day In a letter to a friend, AA’s co-founder Bill W. once wrote, “Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging an d abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped-for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left alone — either to grow up or to disintegrate.” We discover, in The Program, that the best possible source of emotional stability is our Higher Power. We find that dependence upon His Perfect justice, forgiveness and love is healthy, and that it works where nothing else will. Do I depend on my Higher Power? Today I Pray May I realize that I am a dependent person. I have depended upon chemicals to alter my moods and attitudes. I have also developed parasitic attachments for others. May I stop making unrealistic emotional demands on others, which only serve to choke off mature human relationships and to leave me bewildered and let down. Only God can provide the kind of whole-heated love which I, as a dependent person, seem to need. May I depend first upon God. Today I Will Remember God offers perfect love. ****************************************** One More Day You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him find it within Himself. – Galileo We can’t avoid the crises, large or small, that are a normal part of living. Automobile accidents, spending more money that we can afford, stubbed toes, rain on vacations — these things happen to everyone. No one is exempt. But we can learn from our negative experiences. We learn to be more careful, to hold our tongues, to be more responsible. No one can teach us how to live. We have to learn by ourselves. And eventually we’re better able to handle our own problems, sometimes even with grace and finesse. We can share what we have learned with others, we can help pave the way for them, but invariably they too will have to do it for themselves. Life hands me situations. I have the ability to make them into positive experiences. ************************************ Food For Thought Fellowship Compulsive overeating is a lonely activity. The more we eat, the more we isolate ourselves from other people and the more alienated and different we feel. We need people, but we do not like ourselves, and we fear that others will reject us. What a relief to find a group of other people with the same problems and feelings! We are accepted, understood, and loved. We find that we are not so different after all. The OA fellowship exudes a sense of warmth and support. It is a safe place to put aside masks and express honest feelings. There is healing and strength. Meetings and retreats have given many of us a deeper experience of belonging than we have found anywhere else. We are all accepted as we are and where we are in our personal development. No one tells us what to do in OA. Through the fellowship, we learn what has worked for others and we find relief from our loneliness. Bless our fellowship, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time THE WHOLE PICTURE “It should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture.” Big Book Alcoholics of Anonymous; Page 143 Looking around a gallery recently my friend and I were looking at a mosaic picture. We pondered on what we thought of it, and each of us had our own ideas. Then as we chatted a thought popped into my head. Now this doesn’t happen often, so make the most of it. The mosaic, of course, is made up of lots of tiny tiles, each one seemingly insignificant on it’s own. In fact if you found one in the street, you probably wouldn’t look at it twice, never mind pick it up. Yet together with all the other tiny tiles, pieced together it forms an unusual and beautiful work of art. I don’t expect that all of the tiles are perfect, but together they are whole. Together they appear to be as one in unison with each other. Then came the second thought (yes, two in one day). Some days for me are pretty awful. I feel sick, or saddened. I turn on the TV and the news is all depressing stuff, and I think, where is HP while all this is happening? A few years ago, I lost my baby and nearly my own life. Where was my HP then? Losing my nephew at age 8 a few years later, I really doubted that any God of anyone’s understanding could help me with a weight problem. But today I see the wonderful days, the glowing wonderful comforting days that make life worthwhile. Who am I to say that this life I’m living is good or bad? Only HP has the ‘whole mosaic’ picture of Life. Not just my life, but my life touching another life. The events happening in the world – again, only HP sees the whole picture. He has the lid of the jigsaw puzzle with the main picture on it; we only have one piece, just like the tile. After I lost the baby, HP helped the surgeons to heal me. I certainly didn’t feel worthy; in fact I felt at the time that I wasn’t even good enough to die. Yet HP has stuck by me and has given me so much. I doubt I’ll ever know whose life or lives I may have touched as a result of me being saved, but it doesn’t matter. HP knows. HP cares. One Day at a Time . . . I must remember that you and I are one in the eyes of our Creator. Not one of us is less than, or more than each other. Together we are one. Together we watch HP work miracles in our lives. Together, we are perfect as long as we are under HP’s direction. Mind boggling isn’t it? ~ Marlene ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. - Pg. 8 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Where you're at and where you're going are up to you. But if you want some peace in your spirit and freedom from the obsession to use, you are in the right place to begin. I know that there are no guarantees, but thank You for bringing me this far. Giving Today I give with both hands. Giving for its own sake is the spiritual way and actually releases the gift. When I give with one hand and take with the other, I give only half of what I have and receive only half of what might be given to me. I limit myself intwo ways. Somehow the universe responds to clear intention. When I fully release a gift, it goes to where it is supposed to go and what returns to me comes when and how it is right. I am able to give with both hands - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote One way to tell how well you are practicing the principles in all your affairs is to notice how you treat people who can be of no service to you. I go out of my way to be kind to the very next person I encounter, regardless of what they can or cannot do for me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you treat people badly today, you get to reap the benefits tomorrow. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am open and willing to take a step forward in a new direction. I am no longer allowing myself to stay stuck by old thoughts and feelings. This new place is exciting and energizing. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'd drink to get relaxed but by the time I got relaxed enough I was unconscious - Dave. |
March 11
Daily Reflections GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us. To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 40 All I have to do is look back at my past to see where self-will has led me. I just don't know what's best for me and I believe my Higher Power does. G.O.D., which I define as "Good Orderly Direction," has never let me down, but I have let myself down quite often. Using my self-will in a situation usually has the same result as forcing the wrong piece into a jigsaw puzzle--exhaustion and frustration. Step Three opens the door to the rest of the program. When I ask God for guidance I know that whatever happens is the best possible situation, things are exactly as they are supposed to be, even if they aren't what I want or expect. God does for me what I cannot do for myself, if I let Him. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day By having quiet times each morning, we come to depend on God's help during the day, especially if we should be tempted to take a drink. And we can honestly thank Him each night for the strength He has given us. So our faith is strengthened by these quiet times of prayer. By listening to other members, by working with other alcoholics, by times of quiet meditation, our faith in God gradually becomes strong. Have I turned my drink problem entirely over to God, without reservations? Meditation For The Day It seems as though, when God wants to express to men what He is like, He makes a very beautiful character. Think of a personality as God's expression of character attributes. Be as fit an expression of Godlike character as you can. When the beauty of a person's character is impressed upon us, it leaves an image which in turn reflects through our own actions. So look for beauty of character in those around you. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may look at great beauty of souls until their beauty of character becomes a part of my soul. I pray that I may reflect this character in my own life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Truth, the Liberator, p. 70 How truth makes us free is something that we A.A.'s can well understand. It cut the shackles that once bound us to alcohol. It continues to release us from conflicts and miseries beyond reckoning; it banishes fear and isolation. The unity of our Fellowship, the love we cherish for each other, the esteem in which the world holds us--all of these are products of the truth which, under God, we have been privileged to perceive. << << << >> >> >> Just how and when we tell the truth--or keep silent--can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all. Step Nine emphatically cautions us against misusing the truth when it states: "We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." Because it points up the fact that the truth can be used to injure as well as to heal, this valuable principle certainly has a wide-ranging application to the problem of developing integrity. Grapevine, August 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Living with Bad Vibes____Human Relations Some of us are sensitive to the feelings we pick up from people in the immediate environment. The feelings we sense from the people around us can be as powerful as odors and sounds. We can feel tense in the presence of domineering people, and we can be uncomfortable around people who seem resentful. Acceptance and knowledge help us retain mastery of ourselves in these situations. But we don't have to tune in to another person's bad feelings, just as we wouldn't tune in to a radio station whose music bothers us. We can also detach from the situation in thought, just as Al-Anon trained spouses detach from alcoholics in a spirit of love and understanding. The less we try to resist such a situation, the less power it has to disturb us. And the less involved we become with such situations, the sooner they seem to change. People in Twelve Step programs sometimes report miraculous changes when they adjust their own feelings. One frequently hears of outcomes such as this: "I learned not to let this person bother me, and two weeks later he was transferred to another department." My own sensitivity makes me vulnerable to good or bad feelings in the atmosphere. Recognizing them for what they are, I'll enjoy the good feelings and refuse to e disturbed or upset by those that seem bad. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If it ain't broke, don't fix it.---AA saying Before recovery, we never thought we had enough alcohol or other drugs. More would make us feel better, we thought. Sometimes, we are like this in recovery too. We know we need to change, so we want to do it all right now. If we can just change ourselves totally, we'll feel better, we think. But we can't change all at once. If we ask our Higher Power to take charge of our lives, we'll have the chance to change a little at a time. We'll learn the right things when we need to know them. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me fix what needs fixing today. Action for the Day: I'll make a list of what is broken. Which things on my list can I fix today? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The influence of a beautiful, helpful, hopeful character is contagious, and may revolutionize a whole town. --Eleanor H. Porter We have met certain people who inspired laughter, hope, or changes in us, or those close to us. We look forward to seeing them. We leave their presence believing in ourselves, aware that we can tackle whatever problems had us immobilized. That special gift to inspire is ours for the taking, too. The inspiration comes from God. We can look to God for the strength we need. It will come. We can look also to God for direction, for the steps we need to take today. And then wait. Those persons who inspire us have developed a secure connection to their God. And it's their connection that comes through them to inspire us. We can take some time today, before the demands overwhelm us, to weave our connection to our higher power. When that contact is secure, we won't have to await inspiration from another person to forge ahead with our plans. The inspiration will live within us, and it will beckon us onward. Our way will be illuminated. I shall meditate upon this. Conscious contact with God is only a prayer away. My life will be brightened. My burdens will be lifted. My hopes will become realities, whenever I look to God for the gift of inspiration. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS IN THE PRECEDING chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. I also thought that the people in meetings sometimes seemed too standoffish and overly concerned with their friends and acquaintances rather than with me, the newcomer. Well on my way toward developing a resentment, I expressed this to my sponsor. He suggested that I might find people more communicative if I took the coffee-making commitment for the group I had joined. Although I thought I was far too special to make coffee, I did figure that as coffee maker I would have a chance to select decent cookies, and so I agreed. My sponsor was right again. People did start to speak with me--if only to complain about the coffee and cookies. But once a conversation starts, communication frequently continues. p. 366 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." These obstacles, however, are very real. The first, and one of the most difficult, has to do with forgiveness. The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. This is especially true if he has, in fact, behaved badly at all. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. p. 78 ************************************************** ********* Sometimes we are so eager to give our children what we didn't have that we forget to give them what we did have. If today offers a challenge, be grateful. Challenges are gifts of awareness and growth. The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you hear what is sounding outside of you. --Dag Hammarskjold Nothing hath separated us from God but our own will, or rather our own will is our separation from God. --William Law Never ask the question you don't want to know the answer to. Pureness in your heart will provide you with fullness in your life. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PROFIT "In freeing people . . . our country's blessing will also come; for profit follows righteousness." -- Senator Albert Beveridge Profit is more than financial benefit or material well-being. Profit, for the recovering alcoholic and drug addict, is being aware of life, feeling feelings and having the capacity for a relationship with God, self and others. But a financial benefit is also part of spirituality; the blessing of money and financial stability are part of God's love and trust. His gift of freedom involves our responsibility and stewardship of money. With money and profit we are not only able to have creative comforts, but we can also make the lives of others creative. A responsible use of money is part of my recovery program and has become one of the joys of the "spiritual awakening". Let Your blessing of money in life help me to bless others. ************************************************** ********* When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken." Psalms 30:6 "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matthew 21:22 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Sometimes we search for God in the wrong places. To help someone in need is the quickest way to touch His hand. Lord, in my ordinary day in my ordinary ways may I come to know and understand You more. Our words are powerful tools and can influence even when we are not aware. Lord, help me to speak with kindness and sensitivity and to be a positive source of encouragement and support to others. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Lightening The Load "It will not make us better people to judge the faults of another It will make us feel better to clean up our lives." Basic Text, p. 37 Sometimes we need something tangible to help us understand what holding a resentment is doing to us. We may not be aware of how destructive resentments actually are. We think, "So what, I have a right to be angry;" or, "I might be nursing a grudge or two, but I don't see the harm." To see more clearly the effect that holding resentments is having in our lives, we might try imagining that we are carrying a rock for each resentment. A small grudge, such as anger at someone driving badly, might be represented by a pebble. Harboring ill will toward an entire group of people might be represented by a enormous boulder. If we actually had to carry stones for each resentment, we would surely tire of the weight. In fact, the more cumbersome our burden, the more sincere our efforts to unload it would be. The weight of our resentments hinders our spiritual development. If we truly desire freedom, we will seek to rid ourselves of as much extra weight as possible. As we lighten up, we'll notice an increased ability to forgive our fellow human beings for their mistakes, and to forgive ourselves for our own. We'll nourish our spirits with good thoughts, kind words, and service to others. Just for today: I will seek to have the burden of resentments removed from my spirit. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Being a healthy parent means being firm but nurturing, giving children a decent sense of the boundaries along with lots of unconditional love. --Karen Shaud In a healthy family, life goes along and everybody pitches in to do the housework. Some people wonder why housework is such a big deal. It is because people need to contribute to a group in order to feel they belong to it. Housework makes us part of the same group--our house, our family. We make our house comfortable so we can feel comfortable and safe in it. We show love for ourselves by making our surroundings likeable. And when we do physical work, we can do our inner housekeeping, letting go of negative feelings that pile up during the day. On days when life feels out of control, we feel good when we do one simple job: clean the messy desk, wash dirty dishes, shovel the snowy walk. In this way we regain control of our feelings as well as a perspective on those things within our control. What simple work do I need to do to feel better today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. One must not hold one's self so divine as to be unwilling occasionally to make improvements in one's creations. --Ludwig van Beethoven We addicted and codependent men too often feel ashamed of our mistakes. It pains us to admit there is room for improvement in what we have done. When we do see that our work can be improved, shame overwhelms us. Our oversensitivity to flaws puts us in a kind of competition with God. We are not yet resigned to letting ourselves be fully human - and letting God be God. Life is much calmer when we remember that who we are and what we do are not the same. We are deeper and richer than any object we create or any job we hold. A genius like Beethoven could see he needed to make occasional improvements in his composition, and we can follow his model. Allowing for imperfection, we are better prepared to deal with it, and we are liberated to do our jobs and live our lives more fully. I will be content to let God be God and accept my life with all its need/or improvements. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Letting Go of Confusion Sometimes, the way is not clear. Our minds get clouded, confused. We aren't certain what our next step should be, what it will look like, what direction we are headed. This is the time to stop, ask for guidance, and rest. That is the time to let go of fear. Wait. Feel the confusion and chaos, and then let it go. The path will show itself. The next step shall be revealed. We don't have to know now. We will know in time. Trust that. Let go and trust. Today, I will wait if the way is not clear. I will trust that out of the chaos will come clarity. Today I continue to let go of all thoughts that continue to pull me out of the present and bringing me to the past and the future. I am becoming more and more open to letting the power of good and love into my life. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Enjoy the Changing Scenery How easy it is to think, I will be feeling like this forever. But look at how quickly the scenery changes! In the space of a few hours while driving down the highway, we can see mountains, deserts, a petrified forest, and iron-rich mesas. In the space of a day we can see courage, faith, despair, desolation, anger, healing, and joy. If there’s one thing that’s true, it’s this: the universe is always changing. It is constant, continual evolution. The same holds true for the minutes, hours, and days of our lives. We are continually changing and shifting. Each emotion, attitude, and experience– each piece of scenery– leads into the next. Put them all together and what do you have? A grand journey– an exciting trip that leads to someplace worth going and someplace worth being, each moment you are here. Look at how quickly the scenery changes. Learn to enjoy the view. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting God Things happen A healthy friend dies participating in a sport she loves. A husband works hard on his marriage only to come home one day and find his wife in bed with another man. A knock at the door, and a starving family opens it to find bags of groceries piled anonymously on the porch. A large order comes in just as a company is getting ready to close its doors, and the owner’s dream is given new life. Sometimes life twists. Sometimes it goes the other way,too. Things happen. Sometimes we label these events good, sometimes bad. We cannot always see the reason or purpose in them, but most of us choose to believe there’s a Divine plan. I don’t know why I’ve received some of the blessings I’ve been given. I don’t know why some of the sorrow has come my way. All I can do is trust that whatever comes my way, there’s a lesson at hand. Are you focusing on the circumstances of your life instead of the lessons? The circumstances are the tools. Be involved in them. Feel the pain of loss and the elation of victory. Let compassion work its way into your soul. Learn caring and kindness for others and yourself,too. Instead of asking why, learn to ask what the lesson is. The moment you become ready to accept it, the lesson will become clear. God, help me accept all the twists and turns along my way. Help me learn to say whatever to the good and the unfortunate incidents that come my way. ****************************************** Set Yourself Free Letting Go of Perfection It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead. This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness. In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Since I came to The Program, I’ve begun to recognize my previous inability to form a true partnership with another person. It seems that my egomania created two disastrous pitfalls. Either I insisted upon dominating the people I knew, or I depended on them far too much. My friends in The Program have taught me that my dependence meant demand — a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me. Do I still try to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others? Today I Pray May I turn first to God to satisfy my love-hunger, knowing that all He asks from me is my faith in Him. May I no longer cast emotional nets over those I excessively dependent upon them — which is just another form of domination. May I give others the room they need to be themselves. May God show me the way to mature human relationships. Today I Will Remember To havve faith is His Love. ****************************************** One More Day The hopeful man sees success where others see failure, sunshine where others see shadows and storm. – O.S. Marden Once in a while we lose sight of the world around us and get caught up in how miserably we are feeling. We may be in physical or emotional pain and become self-absorded. Or we may be unhappy because things are not going exactly the way we want. But we can imagine, just for a moment, a beautiful watercolor picture of a sunrise — the promise of a brand-new day. The hues are gentle pastels. The colors blend together subtly, gently, with no perceptible break from one section to another. We can relax in the beauty and serenity of the scene. We can enjoy it with no other motive than pleasure. Positive imagery can help us enhance the beauty of the moment. I am overwhelmed by nature’s beauty and by the great joy I feel. I can call back these same feelings by visualizing them in my mind. ************************************ Food For Thought Sharing In our fellowship, we share our troubles and we share our joys - our faults as well as our assets. We will be accepted and understood, because we are with people who are like us. We may seem very different on the surface, but underneath we are all amazingly alike. Someone has said, "I can only know that much of myself which I have had the courage to confide to you." As we reveal ourselves to others, they act as mirrors so that we may see and understand who we are. All of us have hidden fears and buried guilts. Before we joined OA, we had no place to go with these negative emotions, and so we turned to unnecessary food. Instead of rationally facing our worries and our hurts, we ate. Even when we were happy, we found it easier to eat than to express our joy to someone else. Sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with other people shows us who we are and helps us to accept ourselves. Those with whom we share also benefit. Grant me courage and trust so that I may share. ***************************************** One Day At A Time INSANITY "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ..... Albert Einstein (1879-1955) Everyday I get up and fight the fight of 'I am not good enough.' Nevertheless, I know I am who I am and that's what counts. I may never be what others expect me to be and many times those expectations were so great that I used to beat myself up over my failures. That is the insanity of the compulsion that I am being healed from. I now have a mirror in my bedroom! I now can go without cleaning my house compulsively for those who visit me and now I can stand up for myself. Why? Because I love ME! Program has given me back who I am. The person I love. My welfare comes first! Above all I am grateful for my sponsor, my Higher Power and this program. I am also grateful to the many men and women who have inspired my life because if it were not for all of these, I would still be in that insanity. One day at a time ... I will not require everyone's approval; I will not continually beat myself up when I expect more of myself than I can give; I will continue to love ME and all the good things about me. ~ Rosehips ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. - Pg. 44 - We Agnostics Note: It doesn't say 'may' or 'could' conquer. Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Stick with the winners and hang with the gods' and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sticking with the winners means to only associate with clean and sober people in the program and going to meetings is hanging with the gods. Grant me the good sense to go to a meeting every day for 90 days and socialize with people on the path of recovery. Co-Creation I live in a world of possibilities. I live in a world in which my imagination walks ahead of me. What I can see in my mind's eye can manifest. First, I have to see it, feel it, experience it as real. Then I open a door within me through which my vision can manifest in God's time. I am limited only by what I am willing to accept as possible. Life is a creative process in which I am the co-creator. God and I work together to make this world a better place to be. I co-create a beautiful world. If not now, when? If not you, who? If not here, where? - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It is our experience in recovery that a Power greater then ourselves places the answers before us that we need to hear when we need to hear them. Often we don't like the answers and practice self-will by trying to force our solution. Forcing solutions is the same as ignoring Step Three. When I force the solution, the solution becomes the problem. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Ya gotta wanna. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I continue to let go of all thoughts that continue to pull me out of the present and bringing me to the past and the future. I am becoming more and more open to letting the power of good and love enter my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote You may be the only copy of the AA Big Book that someone ever reads. - Unknown origin. |
March 12
Daily Reflections A DAY'S PLAN On awakening let us think of the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86 Every day I ask God to kindle within me the fire of His love, so that love, burning bright and clear, will illuminate my thinking and permit me to better do His will. Throughout the day, as I allow outside circumstances to dampen my spirits, I ask God to sear my consciousness with the awareness that I can start my day over any time I choose; a hundred times, if necessary. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The Prodigal Son "took his journey into a far country and wasted his substance on riotous living." That's what we alcoholics do. We waste our substance with riotous living. "When he came to himself, he said: I will arise and go to my father." That's what an alcoholic does in A.A. He comes to himself. His alcoholic self is not his real self. His sane, sober, respectable self is his real self. That's why we're so happy in A.A. Have I come to myself? Meditation For The Day Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the simple things always. Life can become complicated if you let it be so. You can be swamped by difficulties if you let them take up too much of your time. Every difficulty can be either solved or ignored and something better substituted for it. Love the humble things of life. Reverence the simple things. Your standard must never be the world's standard of wealth and power. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may love the simple things of life. I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "How Can You Roll With A Punch?", p. 71 On the day that the calamity of Pearl Harbor fell upon our country, a great friend of A.A. was walking along a St. Louis street. Father Edward Dowling was not an alcoholic, but he had been one of the founders of the struggling A.A. group in his city. Because many of his usually sober friends had already taken to their bottles that they might blot out the implications of the Pearl Harbor disaster, Father Ed was anguished by the thought that his cherished A.A. group would probably do the same. Then a member, sober less than a year, stepped alongside and engaged Father Ed in a spirited conversation--mostly about A.A. Father Ed saw, with relief, that his companion was perfectly sober. "How is it that you have nothing to say about Pearl Harbor? How can you roll with a punch like that?" "Well," replied the yearling, "each of us in A.A. has already had his own private Pearl Harbor. So why should we drunks crack up over this one?" Grapevine, January 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Popular Gossip____Higher Thinking The newsstands are full of publications that seem to delight in exposing the sins and foibles of celebrities and prominent officials. Think of the excitement that's been generated just over the sexual misadventures of important people running for public office. While some of these disclosures may be true, we don't help ourselves by reveling in them or reading them. We may even harm ourselves if we get secret enjoyment over the fall of a celebrity. It's never beneficial to find ourselves thinking, "it serves him right." Reading such trash, even in the daily newspapers, is a form of gossip. We can use our time in better ways if we wish to enhance our sobriety. If this sounds a little too stringent, we should remind ourselves that growth in sobriety calls for better management of our thinking and attitudes. Nobody ever got drunk simply because he or she read gossipy trash. But neither did that person make progress over the general problem of gossip. I'll have no interest in the weaknesses or shortcomings of those who might be in the news. Popular gossip can be just as harmful as personal gossip. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The Twelve Step program is spiritual, based on action coming from love . . . Martha Cleveland To be spiritual means to be an active person. It means spending time with others. It means sharing love. It means looking for ways to be more loving to others. It means looking for ways to make the world a better place. Step Three helps us to look at the world better. We turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power. So Lets allow care to direct our lives. Let's always be asking ourselves, "Is what I'm doing something that shows care?" Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, let me be active in a loving, caring way. Let the love in my heart be my guide. Action for the Day: Today, I'll do something good for someone and keep it a secret. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Love is not getting, but giving. It is sacrifice. And sacrifice is glorious! --Joanna Field How easily we mistake attention for love. Even more easily, we trick ourselves into thinking our ability to control someone signifies love - especially theirs for us. But love is something far different from either attention or control. Far different. Love frees others from our grasp--and lets them return on their own. Love is placing another's personal needs above our own, without regret. Love is selfless, yet it exhilarates the self. Giving love softens our edges, completes us, and connects us to the people with whom we are fulfilling our destinies. Wanting love is a normal human desire, not one we should deny. And we shall receive love, the less our emphasis is on getting it, the more on giving it. We invite love when we freely and honestly give it. Another invitation for love comes from loving ourselves; self-hatred, which trapped many of us for years, hampers us no longer. Love inspires--ourselves and those we give it to. It brightens our way, lessens our burdens, makes possible our rightful unfolding. I won't look for love today. I will just give it. It will bless me tenfold. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. I started to work on the steps, and even with my difficulty over the Third Step and "the God concept," I began to develop a sense of trust in the A.A. group and in the ideas of the Fellowship as a manifestation of a Power greater than myself. Although for many years I did not come to an acceptance of a God who intervened personally and directly in the lives of individuals, I was able to accept the idea of a force that moved in the rooms and animated A.A. members with a sense of unconditional love. That satisfied my spiritual needs for a long time. pp. 366-367 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. It doesn't make much sense when a real tosspot calls a kettle black. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. Moreover, it is usually a fact that our behavior when drinking has aggravated the defects of others. We've repeatedly strained the patience of our best friends to a snapping point, and have brought out the very worst in those who didn't think much of us to begin with. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased. If we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all? p. 78 ************************************************** ********* "Take time for solitude. How else can you contemplate the blessings of recovery," --Abby Warman "What we must realize is that we cannot see everything. We do not know everything. More important, we must understand that it is impossible for us to control anything. The process of life is a spiritual one, governed by invisible, intangible spiritual laws and principles." --Iyanla Vanzant "Everyone who has been mistreated by another has mistreated others at one time or another." --Paul Ferrini "Deep faith eliminates fear." --Lech Walesa It's not the burdens of everyday that drive men mad. It is the regret of yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today. --Unknown I completely, and whole heartedly trust Gods love, it will never fail me. --SweetyZee God's grace can turn pain into joy and blessing. --Isabelle Zeigler Ross ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DREAMS "I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." -- Henry David Thoreau Drugs brought me nightmares, never dreams. For years I lived in fear. In the night I imagined horrible shapes, strange colors and sounds, experienced unspeakable tortures and awake in tension and sweat. Today in sobriety my dreams are serene and tranquil; I remember friends and loved ones and those I most admire. I imagine God in the beauty of His creation. He breathes His love through me. My dreams are part of my wellness. God, who created men to dream their dreams, help me to live mine. ************************************************** ********* Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5, 6 "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer." Psalms 19:14 I sought the Lord , and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:4-5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you count your blessings and answered prayers, there is less time for grumbling and complaining. Lord, may I always appreciate the wonders of my life and celebrate Your presence in it. You cannot be discouraged for long if you are close to our Heavenly Father, the giver of all hope and blessings. Lord, I will spend time daily with You and strengthen my faith. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Getting Out Of The Rut "Many times in our recovery, the old bugaboos will haunt us. Life may again become meaningless, monotonous, and boring." Basic Text, p. 75 Sometimes it seems as though nothing changes. We get up and go to the same job every day. We eat dinner at the same time every night. We attend the same meetings each week. This morning's rituals were identical to the ones we performed yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. After the hell of our addiction and the roller-coaster craziness of early recovery, the stable life may have some appeal—for a while. But, eventually, we realize we want something more. Sooner or later, we become turned off to the creeping monotony and boredom in our lives. There are sure to be times when we feel vaguely dissatisfied with our recovery. We feel as though we're missing something for some reason, but we don't know what or why. We draw up our gratitude lists and find literally hundreds of things to be grateful for. All our needs are being met; our lives are fuller than we had ever hoped they'd be. So what's up? Maybe it's time to stretch our potential to its fullest. Our possibilities are only limited by what we can dream. We can learn something new, set a new goal, help another newcomer, or make a new friend. We're sure to find something challenging if we look hard enough, and life will again become meaningful, varied, and fulfilling. Just for today: I'll take a break from the routine and stretch my potential to its fullest. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Gentleness is not a quality exclusive to women. --Helen Reddy Each of us has our soft side: maybe it's when we're petting a kitten, caring for a baby robin with an injured wing, or soothing a crying child who is afraid. Behaving in a gentle way toward others gives us warm feelings inside. It also encourages others to treat us gently, too. We don't always feel like being gentle. If we're sad or worried about school or a friend, we might not even notice the people around us who need our gentleness. But when we remember gentleness, it lifts our spirits. Two people will always be happier when we're gentle--the person we've been gentle to and ourselves. Who can I share my gentleness with today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in. --Gail Sheehy We usually think of children going through stages. If we talk about a man going through a stage, there is usually a tone of a put down in it. But adults go through stages in their lives too. We have different drives and needs at 22 than we had at 16. Age 40 brings a different experience than 30. It would be sad to reach age 60 or 70 and have no more wisdom than we had twenty years earlier. An adult life crisis can come anytime. We may have grown out of a formerly comfortable job. Perhaps we feel new urgings for a more satisfactory relationship than we have settled for. From our recovery experience we know that crisis can bring growth. Courage is required of us from the cradle to the grave. Change continues throughout life With courage, we can face our crises and the changes that come, and eventually we find the gift of new growth. Help me find courage enough to live this day and meet the challenges it brings. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Love is not getting, but giving. It is sacrifice. And sacrifice is glorious! --Joanna Field How easily we mistake attention for love. Even more easily, we trick ourselves into thinking our ability to control someone signifies love - especially theirs for us. But love is something far different from either attention or control. Far different. Love frees others from our grasp--and lets them return on their own. Love is placing another's personal needs above our own, without regret. Love is selfless, yet it exhilarates the self. Giving love softens our edges, completes us, and connects us to the people with whom we are fulfilling our destinies. Wanting love is a normal human desire, not one we should deny. And we shall receive love, the less our emphasis is on getting it, the more on giving it. We invite love when we freely and honestly give it. Another invitation for love comes from loving ourselves; self-hatred, which trapped many of us for years, hampers us no longer. Love inspires--ourselves and those we give it to. It brightens our way, lessens our burdens, makes possible our rightful unfolding. I won't look for love today. I will just give it. It will bless me tenfold. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Timing If we could untangle the mysteries of life and unravel the energies, which run through the world; if we could evaluate correctly the significance of passing events; if we could measure the struggles, dilemmas, and aspirations of mankind, we could find that nothing is born out of time. Everything comes at its appointed moment. --Joseph R. Sizoo Timing can be frustrating. We can wait and wait for something to happen, and it seems to be forever until it comes to pass. Or, suddenly, an event or circumstance is thrust upon us, catching us by surprise. Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect. Today, I will trust and work with Divine Order. I will accept the timing in my life today and in my past as being perfect. I can be centered and at peace inside when the world is going my way, as well as when things are happening that are not my choice. I am learning to focus on this newly found inner peace, especially at times of confusion and stress. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** In God’s Care God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. ~~Isaak Dinesen When our addictive behaviors had control of us, we probably would have laughed if someone told us we would be in a Twelve Step program someday. We spent a lot of our time trying to control and predict the future, and we fought anything that threatened the delusion that we could. When we were ready, our program was there. We discovered that this is a daily program, that by letting God unfold our life twenty-four hours at a time we are released from our obsession to control everything. One of the best gifts of our program is discovering that our Higher Power is in charge of every situation. And as a result, our obsessive need to control no longer controls us. So now we are free to fully experience this moment. We can trust we will benefit somehow because each moment is a gift from God. Whatever God wants me to know today is sufficient. ****************************************** Journey to the Heart You Have the Power to Redefine Your World One power we gain on our journey to the heart is the ability to redefine what we believe. We learn to see things in a new way. We usually have a definition for most areas of our lives, particularly important areas such as work, love, money, and ourselves, but we’re not always conscious of it. The experiences we go through can help our definitions surface, help us see more clearly how we define these areas. That’s called growth. This growth, this process of redefining, will happen naturally on our path. But we can also consciously, actively work on our definitions. Ask yourself if you’re defining something or someone right now in a way that you’d like to change. Perhaps a work relationship, a love relationship, a project, or an issue is causing you distress. You may find you have the power to redefine this area in a way that minimizes or reduces your pain. A healing professional and friend once taught me a technique that can be used on any subject you’re trying to define. On a sheet of paper write down everything you currently believe, including and especially everything negative, about the subject or issue. Include all the “I Can’t's” and the “Wny Nots.” That’s your current definition. On a clean sheet of paper write down how you want to redefine this area, and your involvment in it. Write down everything you want it to be, what you wish for it, what you think the highest truth possible about this subject could be. Burn the paper with the old definitions. Let the smoke clear away from your eyes. Save your new definition. Then watch how the new definition comes to life and take shape. You don’t have to let past definitions of life, love, God, and yourself limit you anymore. You are free to redefine and help create the life you choose; you’re free to see life in a new way. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t cut yourself on your gifts Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or by the handle. –James Russel Lowell Success rains down for no apparent reason. Tragedy strikes like a freight train. We’re left to deal with the results. We can allow our egos to swell over our sudden good fortune, or we can humbly accept the fruit of our labor and continue to better ourselves. We can lie down and give up after a tragedy, or we can grieve, get up, and begin taking steps to move on with our lives. Look at the situations in your life. Have you been given success? Are you learning the lessons of loss? Perhaps yours is the gift of the ordinary. Don’t walk too boastfully through your successes, nor remain too long in your grief. And don’t sleep through an ordinary life. You’ll lose your sense of wonder and awe, and when it ends, you won’t know where you’ve been. We cannot always control what will happen to us. We need to let go of any false thoughts that we can. We can choose how we’ll handle the situation just like we choose how we’ll pick up a knife– by grabbing the handle or the blade. Watch out for the cutting edge. What you do with what you have been given is important. God, thank you for what I’ve been given. ****************************************** Cause, Effect, and Transformation Feeling Depleted by Madisyn Taylor If you are feeling depleted, your body is asking you to take time to make some real changes in your life. There are times in our lives when it seems our bodies are running on empty. We are not sick, nor are we necessarily pushing ourselves to the limit—rather, the energy we typical enjoy has mysteriously dissipated, leaving only fatigue. Many people grow accustomed to feeling this way because they do not know that it is possible to exist in any other state. The body’s natural state, however, is one of energy, clarity, and balance. Cultivating these virtues in our own bodies so that we can combat feelings of depletion is a matter of developing a refined awareness of the self and then making changes based on our observations. A few scant moments of focused self-examination in which you assess your recent schedule, diet, and general health may help you zero in on the factors causing your depletion. If you are struggling to cope with an overfull agenda, prioritization can provide you with more time to sleep and otherwise refresh yourself. Switching to a diet containing plenty of nutritious foods may serve to restore your vigor, especially when augmented by supplements like B vitamins or ginseng. Consider, too, that a visit to a healer or homeopath will likely provide you with wonderful insights into your tiredness. But identifying the source of your exhaustion will occasionally be more complicated than spotting a void in your lifestyle and filling it with some form of literal nourishment. Since your earthly and ethereal forms are so intimately entwined, matters of the mind and heart can take their toll on your physical self. Intense emotions such as anger, sadness, jealousy, and regret need fuel to! manifest in your consciousness, and this fuel is more often than not corporeal energy. Conversely, a lack of mental and emotional stimulation may leave you feeling listless and lethargic. Coping with and healing physical depletion will be easier when you accept that the underlying cause might be more complex than you at first imagined. A harried lifestyle or a diet low in vital nutrients can represent only one part of a larger issue affecting your mood, stamina, and energy levels. When you believe that you are ultimately in control of how you feel, you will be empowered to transform yourself and your day-to-day life so that lasting fatigue can no longer gain a foothold in your existence. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If we examine every disturbance we haved, great or small, we’ll find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its cnsequent unhealthy demand. So let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these crippling liabilities. Then we cna be set free to live and love. W may then be able to Stwlfth-Step ourselves, as well as others, into emotional sobriety. Do I try to carry the message of The Program? Today I Pray Ma I first get my emotional and spiritual house in order before I seek to carry out serious commitments in human relationships. May I look long and thoroughly at “dependency” — upon alcohol or other drugs or upon other human beings — and recognize it as the source of my unrest. May I transfer my dependency to God, as I understand Him. Today I Will Remember I am God-dependent. ****************************************** One More Day Never bend your head. . . Look at the world straight in the face. – Helen Keller Pride is elusive when we’re hurting emotionally. We may act and feel overwhelmed. It is very difficult to be mindful of all we can accomplish and we may focus on what is out of our reach. Or we may tend to hide from our problems by withdrawing from social gatherings or by isolating ourselves emotionally. feeling ashamed that we are hurting makes asking for help very hard. Now, as we hide less often from our feelings we find it easier to face the world straight on. We may not have made this transition easily or even by ourselves, but we are making it with the help of loving friends. Increasingly we accept our limitations, make the effort to do what we can, and ask for help when we must. And with this, we raise our heads with pride. I need not be ashamed when I must ask others for help. ************************************ Food For Thought Nourishment or Drug? During our overeating days, many of us used food as an all purpose drug. It was a pep pill when we were depressed and a tranquilizer when we were uptight. We turned especially to refined carbohydrates as uppers and downers. As a result, we spent most of our time either artificially stimulated or lethargic. When we stop using food as a drug and eat only what our bodies need for proper nourishment, we experience emotions which had been buried by overeating. We feel anxiety, fear, and anger. We also feel joy, enthusiasm, and love. We are alive instead of doped up. We need to express and share our emotions, and in OA we find people who will help us do that. We no longer have to bury our true feelings with food. As we learn to rely on our Higher Power for support in the little things that come up as well as the big things, then we are able to face the day without a drug. By abstaining, we learn who we really are and what we really feel. May I not be afraid to live without a drug. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SEASONS OF OUR SOUL "You will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither and whatever you do prospers." ..... Psalms 1:3 For much of my life I have felt rootless, insecure, lost, ineffectual, and scattered by the seemingly-unforgiving winds of chaos, confusion, change, and pain in my life. I certainly do not feel the sense of strength, stability, and solidity that I imagine I’d feel as a “firmly planted tree.” Many of my choices and behaviors add to the storms and fruitlessness of my life…yet I consider again the Tree. The Tree bears its fruit “in its season”. The Tree participates in the work of its Creator by patiently standing strong through the winds, snow, and barrenness of winter…and the Tree knows that winter is only for a Season. The Tree does not rail against God, nor demand that it produce fruit in its season of barrenness; rather, the Tree patiently rests and knows that Spring will return, as it always does and always will. Working our program calls us to trust God – to believe that which we might not yet see, feel, or experience. We can choose to accept with Serenity the seasons of our lives. One day at a time ... I will choose to believe that my Higher Power is at work in me through every season of my life. I will remember that He brings the Life of Spring after the “death” of winter. In trusting Him, I will be stable and fruitful, even when I feel overwhelmed by the winds of life. ~ Lisa ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Unmindful of his welfare, I thought only of recapturing the spirit of other days. There was that time we had chartered an airplane to complete a jag! His coming was an oasis in this dreary desert of futility. The very thing -- an oasis! Drinkers are like that. - Pg. 9 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Nothing comes easy for us right now. A lot of energy goes into just staying put and accepting this new way of life. We say that when the going gets tough, we hang tough! We know that it will pass, we make that promise to you. But it will be in God's time, not yours. Guide my faith, in this program and in You, my Spiritual Source. Staying with Myself Today, I see that taking care of myself begins inside of me. It is not just a function of what I do, but the attitude with which I move through my day. Having my own life is about checking in with myself to see how I'm doing. It's wearing a sweater if I'm cold and taking a break if I'm tired. It's making sure that I'm having enough fun in my life, paying attention to what I enjoy doing, doing more of that and finding ways of reducing what doesn't feel good. Having a life that is well suited to me is letting myself have my own unique likes and dislikes, and acting on them in constructive ways. It is not organizing my life so that it is good enough for everyone else, forgetting that it needs to be good enough for me as well. I occupy the center of my own life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Whatever spiritual values you adopt are unique to you. You may adopt a strong religious stance or a more intimate spiritual philosophy from within. In any case, the spiritual path you seek is up to you and not those around you. Be comfortable with your spiritual choices and don't try to please others. The more I have on the inside, the less I need on the outside. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Detach, don't desert Time for Joy - Book - Quote I can be centered and at peace inside when the world is going my way, as well as when things are happening that are not my choice. I am learning to focus on this newly found inner peace, especially at times of confusion and stress. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's clean and sober across the board. I don't get to take chips in AA for 60. or 90 days or a year, if I'm smoking pot or doing a little social heroin between meetings. Even if pot wasn't my drug of choice. - - Earl H. |
March 13
Daily Reflections A WORLD OF THE SPIRIT We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 The word "entered" . . . and the phrase "entered into the world of the Spirit" are very significant. They imply action, a beginning, getting into, a prerequisite to maintaining my spiritual growth, the "Spirit" being the immaterial part of me. Barriers to my spiritual growth are self-centeredness and a materialistic focus on worldly things. Spirituality means devotion to spiritual rather than worldly things, it means obedience to God's will for me. I understand spiritual things to be: unconditional love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and humility. Any time I allow selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear to be a part of me, I block out spiritual things. As I maintain my sobriety, growing spiritually becomes a lifelong process. My goal is spiritual growth, accepting that I'll never have spiritual perfection. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We've got rid of our false, drinking selves and found our real, sober selves. And we turn to God, our Father, for help, just as the Prodigal Son arose and went to his father. At the end of the story, the father of the Prodigal Son says: "He was dead and is alive again, he was lost and he is found." We alcoholics who have found sobriety in A.A. were certainly dead and are alive again. We were lost and are found. Am I alive again? Meditation For The Day Gently breathe in God's spirit, that spirit which, if not barred out of selfishness, will enable you to do good works. This means rather that God will be enabled to do good works through you. You can become a channel for God's spirit to flow through you and into the lives of others. The works that you can do will only be limited by your spiritual development. Let your spirit be in harmony with God's spirit and there is no limit to what you can do in the realm of human relationships. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may become a channel for God's spirit. I pray that God's spirit may flow through me and into the lives of others. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Dependence--Unhealthy or Healthy, p. 72 "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped-for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left alone--either to grow up or to disintegrate." << << << >> >> >> We discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows, nor would we feel the urge to rely wholly on human protection and care. 1. Letter, 1966 2. 12 & 12, p. 116 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Believing In Justice____Justice "What goes around, comes around," is a popular saying. It's often used to suggest that certain arrogant, unprincipled people will eventually receive their comeuppance. It conveys the idea that there's a hidden justice at work in human affairs that assures all injustice will eventually be punished. But if it works to punish, this hidden justice also rewards right actions, and this is more important in our working of the program. If we act from good motives, we'll always find that our work is rewarded in some way. No alcoholic who performs a service in the fellowship goes unrewarded. Quite often the reward is simply a personal sense of well-being and growth in character, but these may be more important than money or recognition. Justice is one of the cardinal virtues--a Godlike attribute that human beings strive to understand. Believing in justice is believing in the Hidden Power that orders justice in all things. I'll view my world today as something that is controlled and ordered by a Just Power. Reward and retribution are built into the scheme of things, but I'll focus more on actions that bring the right kind of rewards. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple God loves the world through us---Mother Teresa In Step Three, we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. How do we feel God's care, God's love? We feel God's care and love through how people treat us. Our Higher Power works through people who love us back to life. With time, we begin returning this care and love to others. We feel this warm love flow right through us and out to others. We're kind without trying to be. We smile at others for no reason. We comfort those who hurt just by holding them. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, use me to make Your love real to someone today. Action for the Day: Fear sometimes keeps me from loving. I'll list three things I'm afraid will happen if I'm "to loving." I'll share these fears with my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more. --Margaret Collier Graham Life is not without pain and travail. They are necessary to new awareness which prompts growth. And the gift of growth is joy. Pain and joy are thus intertwined. It is possible to feel only the burden of pain and not the exhilaration of joy, however. Before seeking help to change our lives, many of us were heavily burdened by pain. But we were unable to open ourselves to the knowledge made possible by that pain. We were on a treadmill, accumulating painful experiences at every step, unable to capture the joy that was ever present. We can have hope. Joy does await each of us today. We must open our eyes to it, just as we must open our hearts to one another. We must be willing to peel away the layers of pain to expose the core, the seedling of joy. And we need joy in our lives, just as surely as we need rest and a good diet. We need the light heart that joy fosters for a better perspective on the many experiences we'll face today, and every day. Recovery has given me this new option. It guarantees me that every hurdle will be lightened. The knowledge that joy is inherent, within every experience, is mine, now and forever. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS But it isn’t so difficult. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life—or else. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. But cheer up, something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. A later sponsor took me through Steps Eight and Nine and provided me with support during some trying times. In my third year of sobriety, I was bedridden for over a month as a result of that earlier injury to my spinal discs, my father died, a relationship ended, and the AIDS epidemic started to hit home among my friends and acquaintances. Over the course of that and the next few years, almost half of my gay friends died. I learned in that year that if I ask for help, my Higher Power will never give me anything I can't handle. p. 367 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." When listing the people we have harmed, most of us hit another solid obstacle. We got a pretty severe shock when we realized that we were preparing to make a face-to-face admission of our wretched conduct to those we had hurt. It had been embarrassing enough when in confidence we had admitted these things to God, to ourselves, and to another human being. But the prospect of actually visiting or even writing the people concerned now overwhelmed us, especially when we remembered in what poor favor we stood with most of them. There were cases, too, where we had damaged others who were still happily unaware of being hurt. Why, we cried, shouldn't bygones be bygones? Why do we have to think of these people at all? These were some of the ways in which fear conspired with pride to hinder our making a list of all the people we had harmed. pp. 78-79 ************************************************** ********* The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual. You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. --Jim Rohn "Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves." --John B. Sheerin "Nothing is worth more than this day." --Goethe "It is a sign of strength, not of weakness, to admit that you don't know all the answers." --John P. Lougbrane ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BALANCE "There are two ways to slide easily through life: To believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking." -- Alfred Korzybski This statement is so true for me. I was so compulsive and obsessive not only about the things that I believed in but also about the things I didn't believe in. I was extreme. Everything I did was exaggerated. I either raced through life at ten thousand miles an hour or was in neutral. Balance was absent. Today I am developing balance in my life, more patience and more tolerance. I have discovered that my extremism was a mask by which I hid from life; I did not have to think, consider or ponder --- I simply reacted. Now I know that to believe in everything is to believe nothing; and to doubt everything is not to think. Life is "a many splendored thing" but it has a variety of options. God of the many, help me to discover You in the myriad of thoughts that life produces. ************************************************** ********* "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another." John 15:9-17 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Take care of your own emotional and spiritual needs first and it will become natural to reach out lovingly to others. Lord, I depend on Your help in every situation. Delighting in the happiness of others will make your heart too big for your body. Lord, help me set aside my jealousies and celebrate the blessings of others. Their blessings will then be a blessing for me too. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today That One Special Person "A sponsor is not necessarily a friend, but may be someone in whom we confide. We can share things with our sponsor that we might not be comfortable sharing in a meeting." IP No. 11, "Sponsorship, Revised" We've asked someone to sponsor us, and the reasons we have for asking that particular person are as many as the grains of sand on a beach. Perhaps we heard them share at a speaker meeting and thought they were funny or inspiring. Perhaps we thought they had a great car and we would get one by working the same program they work. Or maybe we live in a small town and they were the only person who had the time available to help. Whatever our initial reasons for getting the sponsor we have, we're sure to find that our reasons for keeping them are quite different. Suddenly they'll amaze us with some stunning insight, making us wonder whether they've been sneaking peeks at our Fourth Step. Or maybe we're going through some sort of life crisis, and their experience with the same problem helps us in ways we never dreamed possible. We call them in pain, and they come up with a special combination of caring words that provide genuine comfort. None of these remarkable feats on the part of our sponsor are mere coincidence. They've simply walked the same path before us. A Higher Power has placed that one special person in our lives, and we are grateful for their presence. Just for today: I will appreciate that one special person in my life — my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling. --Hans Christian Andersen The ugly duckling was not really ugly at all, he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked and even bit him until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water--he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful. Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These are painful and lonely times, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will help us fully appreciate the acceptance when we find it. How can I treasure the ways I am different from others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more. --Louis L'Amour How much fuller each day feels when we can be patient and accept the inches we have progressed. Yet, we are aware of large problems which require miles of progress. We may want others in our lives to change quickly, we may be impatient with a work situation, or we may feel angry about an addiction. Perhaps the spiritual message to us is we need to surrender to time. We are on the road moving in the direction of recovery. The forces of progress are at work. Our growth now may come in learning patience and trusting this process. Looking back we might see a mile of progress. It was made an inch at a time. Today, I will accept my progress. There are many rewards already. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more. --Margaret Collier Graham Life is not without pain and travail. They are necessary to new awareness which prompts growth. And the gift of growth is joy. Pain and joy are thus intertwined. It is possible to feel only the burden of pain and not the exhilaration of joy, however. Before seeking help to change our lives, many of us were heavily burdened by pain. But we were unable to open ourselves to the knowledge made possible by that pain. We were on a treadmill, accumulating painful experiences at every step, unable to capture the joy that was ever present. We can have hope. Joy does await each of us today. We must open our eyes to it, just as we must open our hearts to one another. We must be willing to peel away the layers of pain to expose the core, the seedling of joy. And we need joy in our lives, just as surely as we need rest and a good diet. We need the light heart that joy fosters for a better perspective on the many experiences we'll face today, and every day. Recovery has given me this new option. It guarantees me that every hurdle will be lightened. The knowledge that joy is inherent, within every experience, is mine, now and forever. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Clarity and direction In spite of our best efforts to work our programs and lean on Gods guidance, we sometimes don't understand what's going on in our life. We trust, wait, pray, listen to people, listen to ourselves, and the answer still does not come. During those times, we need to understand that we are right where we need to be, even though that place may feel awkward and uncomfortable. Our life does have purpose and direction. We are being changed, healed, and transformed at levels deeper than we can imagine. Good things, beyond our capacity to imagine, are being prepared and brought to us. We are being led and guided. We can become peaceful. We do not have to act in haste or urgency just to relieve our discomfort, just to get an answer. We can wait until our mind is peaceful. We can wait for clear direction. Clarity will come. The answer will come, and it will be good for us and those around us. Today, God, help me know I am being guided into what's good about life, especially when I feel confused and without direction. Help me trust enough to wait until my mind and vision are clear and consistent. Help me know that clarity will come. I have a purpose today. As I let go and let God, This purpose is becoming more and more clear. My heart is full of joy and love as I move towards God's Will for me. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Connect to Creativity The more open and connected you are to the world around you, the more creative you will become. You will become more creative in your own growth and in how you live your life. You will be more creative in problem solving in work and play. You’ll be more willing to try new things– whether it’s learning to play a flute, build a stone fence, ride a horse, or create a Japanese garden in your front yard. You’ll find yourself more open in solving problems with loved ones, trying less traditional approaches than you might have considered in the past. You’ll find yourself gaining insights, information, and healing from sources you may have previously overlooked. Your participation in all your activities will be less controlled and more spontaneous. You will hear the universe prompting you more. You will imagine more. You will recognize the quiet voice of intuition, the voice of your heart. You will see possibilities. And because you are open to your heart, the guidance of your inner voice, you will know what to do, and when to do it. The more connected you are to the universe, to life, to yourself, the more creative you will be. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say whatever when it’s out of your hands We cannot control everything that happens to us. But we can control our response to those things. We cannot control the feelings of others– their fear, their power trips, their issues. All that we can choose is how we want to respond. Maybe you have been wronged. Maybe you have had a dream taken from you due to the actions of another. What are you going to do about it? You can give up and give in, or you can make the best of the situation, move on if you can, or make a life where you are. Say whatever. Learn to live and let live. You can start over, again and again, if necessary. God, give me the strength to stand up when the actions or thoughts of others drag me down. Help me practice right thought and right action. Help me walk the path that is set before me, no matter what it may bring. ****************************************** The Question of Worthiness Shifting into Gratitude by Madisyn Taylor When we question whether or not we are worthy of something it is important at that time to shift into gratitude. We all know what it’s like to finally get something we want, only to find ourselves feeling as if we don’t deserve it. Whether it’s a car, a new job, or a date with someone wonderful, we suddenly feel as if we are not up to it. Something in us wants to reject this gift from the universe, perhaps because it requires that we think of ourselves in a new way or makes us question why we should have something that others don’t have. If these feelings of unworthiness are not consciously acknowledged, they can lead us to sabotage ourselves out of the gift being offered. Perhaps the best way to avoid rejection and sabotage is to simply shift into a state of gratitude, bypassing the question of worthiness altogether. The question of whether we or anyone else deserves something is not really in our jurisdiction. These themes play themselves out in ways we can’t fully comprehend—on the level of the soul, over the course of many lifetimes. What we do know is that the universe has its own way of shifting the balance over the course of time so that all things are ultimately fair. We can trust in this process and understand that when a gift comes our way, it is because we are meant to have it. Otherwise, it would not be available to us. Accepting the gift with gratitude and using it to the best of our ability is true humility. When we receive a gift and find that feelings of unworthiness crop up, we can simply acknowledge the feelings and then remind ourselves that they are beside the point. We might say to ourselves, “I am meant to have this.” As we allow ourselves to accept the gift, we might feel tenderness in our hearts that naturally shifts into a deep feeling of gratitude. As we sit for a moment, consciously holding the gift in our hands or in our hearts, we say “yes” to the universe’s many blessings, and we also say “thank you.” Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day All my life, I looked to others for comfort, security and all the other things that add up to what I now call serenity. But I’ve come to realize that I was always looking in the wrong place. The source of serenity is not outside, but within myself. The kingdom is within me, and I already have the key. All I have to do is to be wiling to use it. Am I using the tools of The Program on a daily basis? Am I Willing? Today I Pray God gave me the courage to seek out the kingdom inside myself, to find that well-spring within me which has its source in the never-ending, life-giving river of God. May my soul be restored there. May I find the serenity I seek. Today I Will Remember To seek the inner Kingdom. ****************************************** One More Day The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. –Frank Lloyd Wright When we were younger, day and night were two separate entities. Day was when we played and night was when we slept. The distinction is not that sharp as we get older, especially if we have any problems with disturb our sleep. Worry and pain have a tendency to make nights much longer — and lonelier. What looked hopeless the night before can take on a whole new light in the morning. It would be wonderful if we could learn to treat each new day with the same freshness we had as children. We can learn, once again, to experience and to savor each each moment. Once we separate the more likely we are to allow ourselves wonderful days again. My expectations are that I will achieve the best of reach day has to offer. ****************************************** In God’s Care Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. ~~Brendan Francis God speaks to us in many ways at many times. If we are spiritually alert, we will know it when it happens. A stray thought occurs; we overhear a bit of conversation; a passage in something we are reading suddenly stands out–and we know we have connected. A feeling of assurance and peace comes over us. The trouble is that we might acknowledge this contact only briefly, and then it slips away. The time to act passes. The favor we could have done; the advice of support we could have offered; the help we could have given or received–all are missed opportunities. When God speaks, we must do more than listen. Today I will act when inspired. ************************************ Food For Thought No More Diets OA is not another diet club. Abstinence is not something we go on for a while, until we achieve a desired weight goal, and then go off. We are through with diets. In the past, they may have worked for a time, but sooner or later we became bored with them, quit, and regained the weight we had lost. OA is a program of recovery. We discover that what we eat is not the most important thing in our lives. Each day we plan what is necessary for the nourishment of our bodies, and then we are free to forget about food and go on with our living. Instead of following a diet for a certain length of time, we maintain abstinence from compulsive overeating every day of our lives so that we may feel good and function effectively. We work the program, live the Twelve Steps, and enjoy each day as never before. We are recovering. Thank You for the gift of recovery. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Love "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu As we explore our twelve step program and peel away the onion that is us, we find many parts of ourselves that we had never known before. Those parts have always been there ... we just weren't aware of the importance of them. Suddenly, as though it were a light bulb flashing, it hits us full in the face and we find ourselves seeing what our deepest need in life is. It took practically a lifetime to realize that my deepest need was to love and to be loved. How could I have lived so long and not realized that before? I am grateful that the twelve step program gave me the ability to feel love, perhaps for the very first time. I am also grateful that this beautiful way of living also gave me the ability to give love. One day at a time ... I will keep my heart open for opportunities to love ... and quietly but expectantly to be loved. ~ A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote This seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no nonalcoholic could. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery. - Pg. xvi - xvii - 4th. Edition - Forward To Second Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Some people's missionary zeal in helping us is quite annoying. They tell us what to do, know what's best for us, get preachy. We, however, can be charitable as we know: they preach best what THEY most need to learn! My Spiritual Source helps me tolerate the 'preachers' of the program, as one day I may act like that too! Forgiveness I forgive myself for being less than perfect, that's how I will love myself and others today. Perfection is that myth that I carry around in my head to beat myself up with and to make it seem others fall short. That celluloid image against which I measure myself and come out feeling lacking, that yard stick with which I hit my own back side. Today, I will see perfection and beauty in what is. I will have an attitude of forgiveness toward myself and others for being other than what is expected. We're all just bumbling along mostly doing the best we can, sometimes worse than we should, sometimes better. Just for today, I won't get hung up on imperfection. I forgive imperfection - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Prayer does not change what you are praying about. Prayer changes you. I learn to 'hit' it with a prayer, not a chair and I change! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I have a purpose today. As I let go and let God, this purpose is becoming more and more clear. My heart is full of joy and love as I move more towards God's Will for me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I didn't think my sponsor could read for the first six months. I'd say; 'John, I need a better paying job.' and he'd say: 'Read page 127, what does it say on page 127?' I'm expecting to find a credit card application there or something, and it says; 'Material well-being always follows spiritual progress, it never preceded. - Chris C. |
March 14
Daily Reflections THE KEYSTONE He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62 A keystone is the wedge-shaped piece at the highest part of an arch that locks the other pieces in place. The "other pieces" are Steps One, Two, and Four through Twelve. In one sense this sounds like Step Three is the most important Step, that the other eleven depend on the third for support. In reality however, Step Three is just one of twelve. It is the keystone, but without eleven other stones to build the base and the arms, keystone or not, there will be no arch. Through working of all Twelve Steps, I find that triumphant arch waiting for me to pass through to another day of freedom. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Can I get well? If I mean: "Can I ever drink normally again," the answer is no. But if I mean, "Can I stay sober?" the answer is definitely yes. I can get well by turning my drink problem over to a Power greater than myself, that Divine Principle in the universe which we call God, and by asking that Power each morning to give me the strength to stay sober for the next twenty-four hours. I know from the experience of thousands of people that if I honestly want to get well, I can get well. Am I faithfully following the A.A. program? Meditation For The Day Persevere in all that God's guidance moves you to do. The persistent carrying out of what seems right and good will bring you to that place where you would be. If you look back over God's guidance, you will see that His leading has been very gradual and that only as you have carried out His wishes, as far as you can understand them, has God been able to give you more clear and definite leading. Man is led by God's touch on a quickened responsive mind. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may persevere in what seems right. I pray that I may carry out all of God's leading, as far as I can understand it. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Two-Way Tolerance, p. 73 "Your point of view was once mine. Fortunately, A.A. is constructed so that we need not debate the existence of God; but for best results, most of us must depend upon a Higher Power, and no right-minded A.A. would challenge your privilege to believe precisely that way. We should all be glad that good recoveries can be made even on this limited basis. "But turnabout is fair play. If you would expect tolerance for your point of view, I am sure you would be willing to reciprocate. I try to remember that, down through the centuries, lots of brighter people than I have been found on both sides of this debate about belief. For myself, of late years, I am finding it much easier to believe that God made man, than that man made God." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Living with depression___Mood management Getting sober is often only a first small step in getting well. Many recovering alcoholics must also face an underlying depression that seems to mock their efforts to attain real serenity. But sobriety does not cause the depression. It simply lays bare a condition that was present all along, but had been masked by repeated binges. It's probably true, too, that many of us used alcohol partly as a drug to combat depression because it temporarily lifted our mood and relieved our pain. One fact about depression is that it comes and goes; we can endure it partly by knowing that "this too shall pass." Another fact is that physical activity helps in copying with it. AA co-founder Bill W., victimized by profound depression even in his sober years, found that walking provided some relief, though he had to force himself to do it at times. A third fact about depression is that we can usually alleviate its effects by helping others and by staying close to AA circles, even when we're too depressed to contribute much. It's also helpful to discuss the problem with understanding friends and sponsors, or a therapist, if necessary. I'll believe today that I can maintain a good mood level that continues to build as I carry out my responsibilities and make AA first in my life. Depression may challenge me, but I don't have to give in to it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Archie doesn't know how to worry without getting upset. --- Edith Bunker Most us are like Edith's television husband, Archie. When we worry, we get upset. Problems seem too big for us. We get afraid. We feel powerless. What does the program tell us to do when we feel powerless and our life is upset? We look at the problem honestly . Than we ask our Higher Power to help us with the problem. We take it One Day at a Time. We believe our Higher Power will take care of us and help. We'll have problems. That's life! But we can get through them with care and support. We don't have to get crazy. We don't have to make things worst. We can be kind to ourselves and live through problems just fine---with our Higher Powers help. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me do what I can today about my problems. Help me stop worrying. Action for the Day: If I have problems today, I'll do what I can---and leave the outcome to my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The child is an almost universal symbol for the soul's transformation. The child is whole, not yet divided. . .when we would heal the mind. . .we ask this child to speak to us. --Susan Griffin Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps, "the child" is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance. "I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent," writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses, we give them too much important, too much power. Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. pp. 44-45 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. It was in this period that I started to turn to service beyond the group level. I had helped in founding the first gay A.A. group in my part of town and was elected general service representative after having served in other group offices. I knew nothing of general service at that time, and I decided to learn what it was all about so I could do a decent job and be able to pass it on to a successor as quickly as possible. After two years I went on to a number of other service jobs for A.A. p. 367 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn't suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn't suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations hadn't suffered, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man's fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies. p. 79 ************************************************** ********* "Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." --Anon. Courage can't see around corners, but goes around them anyway. --Mignon McLaughlin I have a capacity in my soul for taking in God entirely. I am as sure as I live that nothing is so near to me as God. God is nearer to me than I am to myself; my existence depends on the nearness and the presence of God. --Meister Eckhart Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive injury. --Edwin Hubbel Chapin The gift of the Spirit is that we are God's children. --Rita Jorgensen ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation WINE "Wine that maketh glad the heart of man." -- Psalm 104:15 Every good thing can be abused and alcohol is no exception. Although most people are able to enjoy the fruits of the grape and the quality of their lives are enriched by good wine, not a few are destroyed by wine! Millions of people in this world are alcoholic. They did not want to be alcoholic but they are. Their lives and relationships are destroyed by alcohol. They need to stop drinking if they are to find "gladness" in their lives. Alcoholism is a disease that cannot be cured, but it can be arrested by giving up the grape! God can be appreciated in the grape, but He can also be experienced in the soda. We need to find new ways to be happy. Thank You for the precious gift of choice. ************************************************** ********* "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me." Psalms 50:15 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalms 51:10 Every word of God is pure: He is a shield unto them that put their trust in Him. Proverbs 30:5 "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Treat your family as you would treat a best friend. Lord, help me to treasure my family with all of their imperfections as well as my own and cherish the time we have together. Do not act as though you are watching a parade because we are each one of the marchers. Lord, things change so quickly. Help me to celebrate the constant newness of my life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Relationships "Also, our inventories usually include material on relationships." Basic Text p. 29 What an understatement this is! Especially in later recovery, entire inventories may focus on our relationships with others. Our lives have been filled with relationships with lovers, friends, parents, co-workers, children, and others with whom we come in contact. A look at these associations can tell us much about our essential character. Often our inventories catalog the resentments that arise from our day-to-day interactions with others. We strive to look at our part in these frictions. Are we placing unrealistic expectations on other people? Do we impose our standards on others? Are we sometimes downright intolerant? Often just the writing of our inventory will release some of the pressure that a troubled relationship can produce. But we must also share this inventory with another human being. That way, we get some needed perspective on our part in the problem and how we can work toward a solution. The inventory is a tool that allows us to begin healing our relationships. We learn that today, with the help of an inventory, we can start to enjoy our relationships with others. Just for today: I will inventory the part I play in my relationships. I will seek to play a richer, more responsible part in those relationships. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Each man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. --Mark Twain What does it mean to be different? How does it feel? Is it okay to act or look or be different from everyone else at times? Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, it feels safer to blend into the crowd. We don't want to stick out like a sore thumb. But sometimes it's when we are different that we discover new things no one has ever thought of or done before. We don't want to spend our whole lives doing only what others do. And there are times when we must take a stand if what others are doing is wrong. Perhaps it's good practice to try to do some little things differently once in a while, to stand out from the crowd, just to get use to it. After all, if no one ever dares to be different, how would our world ever change for the better? What little thing can I do to stand out from the crowd today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing. --Margaret Atwood Men have often become victims by seeing themselves as saviors. We forgot that we have needs too. We thought if we gave enough, our needs would eventually be met. In the process we became great controllers, not for the sake of power, but to make everything okay. We turn ourselves inside out to make our mates happy or to please our children or friends. But being a savior is a disrespectful role to play. When people became angry with us for it, we absorbed their anger and felt misunderstood. No relationship is healthy for either person if one is victim. We must do our loved ones the favor of letting them see our strength--let them bump up against it--even when that means we say a loud and strong no! After we have said no, our yes is much more believable. Today. I will take responsibility for my own life and try not to be a savior for others. I won't undermine my relationships by being a victim. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The child is an almost universal symbol for the soul's transformation. The child is whole, not yet divided. . .when we would heal the mind. . .we ask this child to speak to us. --Susan Griffin Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps, "the child" is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance. "I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent," writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses, we give them too much important, too much power. Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Trusting Ourselves Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery. Who do we trust? For what? The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that's happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn't trust ourselves. There will be some who tell us we cannot trust ourselves, we are off base and out of whack. There are those who would benefit by our mistrusting ourselves. Fear and doubt are our enemies. Panic is our enemy. Confusion is our opposition. Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves. How do we acquire it? We learn it. What do we do about our mistakes, about those times we thought we could trust ourselves but were wrong? We accept them, and trust ourselves anyway. We know what is best for us. We know what is right for us. If we are wrong, if we need to change our mind, we will be guided into that--but only by trusting where we are today. We can look for others for support and reinforcement, but trust in ourselves is essential. Do not trust fear. Do not trust panic. We can trust ourselves, stand in our own truth, stand in our own light. We have it now. Already. We have all the light we need for today. And tomorrow's light shall be given to us then. Trust ourselves, and we will know whom to trust. Trust ourselves, and we will know what to do. When we feel we absolutely cannot trust ourselves, trust that God will guide us into truth. God, help me to let go of fear, doubt, and confusion--the enemies of self-trust. Help me go forward in peace and confidence. Help me grown in trust for myself and You, one day at a time, one experience at a time. I will value myself today both for my perfections and especially for my imperfections. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Observe Yourself Watch yourself. That’s not a grim admonition. It’s a call to observe yourself and is a helpful tool on the journey. When you get stuck in a behavior, stuck in a pattern, stuck in a place, a thought, a feeling, a job, or a relationship and you don’t know how to get unstuck, watch yourself. When you’ve tried everything you know and your feelings and old ways of reacting still come to the fore– even when you don’t want them to and especially when you’ve made an effort to do things differently– watch yourself. When it feels hopeless, when it seems things will never change or shift, when you can’t help yourself and it doesn’t look like those around you can either, look at yourself. The act of watching ourselves, neutrally observing ourselves without judgement or reproach, can be a powerful tool for change. If you’ve tried and tried to change but it hasn’t worked, then watch yourself. Watch what you say, what you think, how you feel, how you act, how you react. Don’t try to stop yourself. Don’t judge. Just observe. Do it as long as you need to, although it may not take long. Watch yourself. Then watch how you grow and change. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn something new about yourself Wildfires scorch large chunks of the Western United States every summer. It’s part of the natural cycle of things. After a while, nature decides that it’s time to start over and a patch of the woods goes up in smoke. This year, one fire burned near Mesa Verde National Park in southwesten Colorado. I read the news wires with interest, hoping that the archeological sites there wouldn’t be destroyed. The crews worked on the fires, and though there was damage in the area, the main ruins were left unharmed. While the fires had burned thousands of acres around the park, they had also done something else– they had burned away the undergrowth that had sprung up around twelve perviously undiscovered sites. Sometimes life sends fires raging through our lives,too. Those fires are also part of the natural cycle of things. Life, nature, our Higher Power says it’s time to start over again. Use misfortune as an opportunity. Who knows? That fire rampaging through your life just might clear away the brush of the past. Keep your heart open and stay aware. You might learn something new and previously undiscovered about yourself. God, help me stay alert to the lessons of today. ****************************************** In God’s Care We are all special cases. ~~Albert Camus We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others and far too frequently end up feeling inferior. Perhaps someone at work is more articulate than we are or an acquaintance always seems more striking and self-assured. And most of you know couples who seem to have the perfect relationship while we continue to struggle in ours or have no significant other. On occasion we might even feel superior to some people–like the gruff man in line ahead of us at the bank or the rude cashier at the grocery store. But in all cases, the moment we compare and thus create a separation between ourselves and others, we deny the blessing of God’s all-encompassing plan for each of us. We are all one in God. When we realize our connection to one another, we learn our task is to care for each other rather than artificially set ourselves apart. I will look around me carefully today and notice how I’m connected to others rather than how I’m separate. ****************************************** Giving Your Gifts to the World Being Happy with Your Job In our search to define ourselves, we often look to our job to show us our worth. Society does not judge all professions equally, however, and it is not uncommon for the individuals who hold what others may consider to be ordinary or menial jobs to feel that they themselves are ordinary or menial. Yet, in truth, many wonderful and wise people throughout history have held what have typically been perceived as ordinary jobs, and this in no way has had any bearing on whether or not they have managed to contribute their skills and talents to the world. Whether you work in business, education, medicine, retail, or another profession, you worth is inherent to who you are and not what you do for a living. A job that you enjoy, lets you meet your needs, and allows you to live in accordance with your values will always be more gratifying than a high-status job that you dislike. But while experiencing professional satisfaction can be a vital part of being fulfilled by your work, it is important to remember that it is possible to find happiness in any job. This is because what you do is often less important than how you do it. Your attitude and intention can turn a mediocre job into work that fulfills you because of the way that you approach it. If you do your job well and what you do benefits others, then you are doing work that is making this world a better place. If you are happy in your current line of work and feel that it allows you to be yourself and live authentically while meeting your emotional and physical needs and allowing time for you to enjoy the fruits of your labor, then you have found a job that adds value to your life. If you are a waitress, then be the best waitress you can, take pride in your work and others will notice your passion. You can contribute your talents and skills to this world while doing any job. It is not the kind of work you do that allows you to be of service. It is you who must choose to be of service through the work that you do. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day One thing that keeps me on the right track today is a feeling of loyalty to other members of The Program, no matter where they may be. We depend on each other. I know, for example, that I’d be letting them down if I ever took a drink. When I came into The Program, I found a group of people who were not only helping each other to stay sober, but who were loyal to each other by staying sober themselves. Am I loyal to my group and to my friends in The Program? Today I Pray I thank God for the loyalty and fellowship of the group and for the mutuality of commitment that binds us together. May I give to the group in the same proportion that I take from it. Having been a taker during so many of my years, my giving used to be no more than a commodity, for which I expected to be paid in approval or love or favors. May I learn the joy of pure giving, with no strings attached, no expectations of reward. Today I Will Remember A perfect gift asks nothing in return. ****************************************** One More Day A cheerful face is nearly as good for an invalid as healthy eather. –Benjamin Franklin Health changes, like other changes in life circumstances, cna undermine friendships. When we are dealing with chronic pain or discomfort or when we have become impaired with illness, some friends just aren’t sure how t act under the new circumstances. People who love us want to help us; they want to be with us. The hard part for u is how to let them. Visits won’t be easy for us or them at first because our lives and relationships are changed by illness. But soon we realize that we still care for and need these special people and that we want to show our affection, during the trying times as well as during the better times. I can find comfort and stability by maintaining my friendships. ************************************ Food For Thought Power Our group is infused with a Power that changes lives, the Power of love and fellowship. So many of us can attest to the daily miracles that God has performed and is performing as we live this program. The changes and miracles may happen slowly, and our spiritual growth may be gradual; nevertheless, the Power is real. As we become aware of this Power, we see how weak and unnecessary were the false supports we had relied on in the past. We probably sought strength in material possessions, personal achievement, social status. These supports all failed us, and we ate to hide our weakness. Now that we have experienced the Power of the OA fellowship, we no longer have to rely on false supports. We can grow in the program and in closer contact with the One who creates and sustains us. May I rely more completely on You. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Cease Striving "Cease Striving – Let Go, Relax – And Know that I Am God” . . . . Psalms 46:10 I can count on one hand the times in my life in which I’ve been able to feel truly relaxed. Our disease is often driven by our efforts to control our lives: we labor to control our emotions, our relationships, our image, and our “masks” which we wear in a valiant effort to control how other people see and respond to us. This effort to control ourselves and our lives is a ruthless taskmaster and a double-edged sword. It cuts like a knife through our very souls and requires that we forsake who we are in a misguided – and fruitless – attempt to be who we believe we “should be.” I have worked so hard at trying to mold myself into an Acceptable Person that I have lost who I truly Am. All of my ceaseless efforts to mold myself into who I thought I Should Be have cost me my very sense of Self, and has been a painful eroding of my own Identity – it is a tragic self-imposed suicide of my Soul. Like many of us, in order to enter recovery I had to come to the End of Myself and lose any sense of Control I had over my life. This was terrifying for me – I believed that even without a false sense of control, my life would implode and leave only ruined remnants in its place. But I have not imploded. I have not been destroyed. With the crumbling of my masks and my frantic efforts to control everything, I have found a surprising sense of peace and safety – even in the midst of the chaos in my life. I am convinced that had God not brought me to the end of my own efforts, I would not be in a place in which I can hear His Voice. My ears would have remained deaf to His promise to never forsake me. Had He not firmly – yet gently – gotten my attention, my unsettled Mind would have continued to shout warnings and commands into my withered soul. Hitting Bottom is the best thing that could have happened to me, for I landed not in destruction, but in His eternal loving arms. One Day at a Time . . . I will choose to cease my own striving and efforts to control my life. I will practice being still and knowing that my Higher Power is with me at all times, in every circumstance of my life ~ Lisa ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. - Pg. 35 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Don't jump ship five minutes before the miracle is going to happen in your life. Stick around long enough to see that miracle grow for you day by day. Right now you are a champion of sobriety and we see you as a miracle. Soon you will see the miracle yourself. I can only do my best. Please God, as I understand You, do the rest. Today I will live in the present grateful to be alive and in this radiant world for one more day. Living in the present brings its own perspective. What is not worth getting preoccupied about falls away while what is truly meaningful and important rises up and into focus. I am here to appreciate and live life, to grow, to share my heart and soul with those around me. If I miss today, I will not get it back. If I allow it to work its beauty inside of me, it will fertilize tomorrow's garden. Today is what I know I have. All of life is here, woven into the atoms of the world that surrounds me. If I am with this day, I am with all of life. I am part of an alive universe. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote All our suggestions are free. The ones you don't take are the ones you end up paying for. When all else fails, I take the suggestions. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Maybe you didn't die because of H & I. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I will value myself today both for my perfections and especially for my imperfections. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I hear some say that their best thinking got them into AA. My best thinking didn't get me here - A power greater than myself did. - Al A. |
March 15
Daily Reflections THE GOD IDEA When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52 Like a blind man gradually being restored to sight, I slowly groped my way to the Third Step. Having realized that only a Power greater than myself could rescue me from the hopeless abyss I was in, I knew that this was a Power that I had to grasp, and that it would be my anchor in the midst of a sea of woes. Even though my faith at that time was minuscule, it was big enough to make me see that it was time for me to discard my reliance on my prideful ego and replace it with the steadying strength that could only come from a Power far greater than myself. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We alcoholics were on a merry-go-round, going round and round, and we couldn't get off. That merry-go-round is a kind of hell on earth. In A.A. I got off that merry-go-round by learning to stay sober. I pray to that Higher Power every morning to help me to keep sober. And I get the strength from that Power to do what I could never do with my own strength. I do not doubt the existence of that Power. We're not speaking into a vacuum when we pray. That Power is there, if we will use it. Am I off the merry-go-round of drinking for good? Meditation For The Day I must remember that in spiritual matters I am only an instrument. It is not mine to decide how or when I am to act. God plans all spiritual matters. It is up to me to make myself fit to do God's work. All that hinders my spiritual activity must be eliminated. I can depend on God for all the strength I need to overcome those faults which are blocks. I must keep myself fit, so that God can use me as a channel for His spirit. Prayer For The Day I pray that my selfishness may not hinder my progress in spiritual matters. I pray that I may be a good instrument for God to work with. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Breach The Walls Of Ego, p. 74 People who are driven by pride of self unconsciously blind themselves to their liabilities. Newcomers of this sort scarcely need comforting. The problem is to help them discover a chink in the walls their ego has built, through which the light of reason can shine. << << << >> >> >> The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each A.A.'s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. Nearly all A.A.'s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required just for sobriety, they still haven't much chance of becoming truly happy. Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency. 12 & 12 1. p. 46 2. p. 70 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places The Secret of Detachment___Dealing with others. "Detaching with love" is what those close to alcoholics do when they realize they can't change them. The same principle should apply to any distressing situation, but how does it work? How can I detach from people who really bother me____ especially fellow workers, or perhaps a boss or customer? The secret of detachment is expressed in the biblical charge, "Resist not evil." We don't fight or resist the other person, or even try to change their behavior. We stop believing that the other person's behavior can really control us in the future. We become impersonal about something that was once highly charged with resentment and bitterness. At no point, however, do we say that the others' wrong behavior is all right, nor do we lie to ourselves about what the other is doing. Detachment does not mean that the outcome will be recovery or change for the other person. That sometimes happens, and we're grateful when it does. If we detach in the right way, however, the outcome will always be better than anything we could bring about by fighting the situation. We have to count an outcome favorable if we stay sober and under control in the midst of an insane situation. I will detach myself from conflicts with others if they arise today. I am not going to fight anything or anybody, and I know this will bring me closer to the ideal of living at peace with everybody. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I never loved another person the way I loved myself.---Mae West This sums up how we used to live. We were in love with ourselves. We had to be on center stage. Our self-will ran riot. Recovery pulls us out of that world. We learn to focus on others. We learn to reach out to them with love. This is the best way to love ourselves. This doesn't mean that we live our lives through others. It means we invite others into our lives. It also means we ask to be invited into their lives. Recovery breaks down our self-will. It makes room for others in our lives. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I give You my self-will. I know You'll do better with it than me. Action for the Day: I'll list three ways my self-will has messed up my life. How am I doing at turning over these things to my Higher Power? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Flattery is so necessary to all of us that we flatter one another just to be flattered in return. --Marjorie Bowen We are all deserving of unconditional love and acceptance. And all the people in our lives, past and present, deserve our unconditional love and acceptance, too. However, it's doubtful that we either feel it all of the time from others or give it away. It's human of us to find fault--to have expectations that are too high. But for this we pay a price. Instead of experiencing our lives serenely, contentedly, flowing with what is, we often criticize, judge, and feel generally disgruntled throughout the day. What a waste! We do have another choice, fortunately. We can let go and let God, and live and let live. Also we can recall, today and every day, that we are all special individuals in this world who are loved, fully, by our Creator. The greatest contribution we can make to the lives of others is to be affirming. We can let our spouse, children, and friends know we care about them. That we love and accept them. The love that we also long for will come back to us. We thrill at being affirmed. And we will thrill at affirming. It feels good to help another feel appreciated. Love and acceptance is my lifeline, from God around us all. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Lack of power, that was our dilemma. we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. p. 45 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. In all these positions I never felt obligated to conceal or deny my sexuality. I have always felt that the representatives of groups in my area were concerned only with how we carried the message of recovery, not with what I might do in my personal life. pp. 367-368 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can only be changed by a deep and honest search of our motives and actions. p. 79 ************************************************** ********* Joy isn't the absence of pain - it's the presence of God. I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself. --Walter Anderson "Remember the difference between a boss and a leader; a boss says 'Go!' - a leader says 'Let's go!'" --E.M. Kelly God backs me up, there is no greater power. I am safe. --SweetyZee If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don't know the answer, I'll tell them I don't know. --Bill Cosby ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation THOUGHT "By thought I embrace the universal." -- Blaise Pascal My ability to think and communicate enables me not only to live in this world, but also to understand this world. Relationships are dependent upon me understanding my responsibilities --- and when I do not think, I am usually very irresponsible. Alcohol stopped me from thinking and behaving responsibly and created dishonesty in my life. Instead of feeling I belonged, I felt I was on the outside; instead of enjoying relationships, I was forever fighting and involved in bitter disputes; instead of enjoying the peace that comes from being a "child of God", I felt like an abandoned creature. My problem was alcohol, and I needed to do something about it. I did --- I stopped taking the first drink. Today I am alive in my life, alive in God's world and enjoying this universe. When I think clearly, I know I belong. ************************************************** ********* He [God] Himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I Corinthians 10:13 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 1:4 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To be rich is to have good friends, good health, and the energy to experience the many things that life offers. Lord, I rejoice in the true and most meaningful riches of my life. God will give you strength because He gives of Himself. Lord, bless us, deliver us from all evil, and bring us to everlasting life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Feeling A "Part Of" "The get-togethers after our meetings are good opportunities to share things that we didn't get to discuss during the meeting." Basic Text p. 29 Active addiction set us apart from society, isolating us. Fear was at the core of that alienation. We believed that if we let others get to know us, they would only find out how terribly flawed we were. Rejection would be only a short step away. When we come to our first NA meeting, we are usually impressed by the familiarity and friendliness we see other recovering addicts share. We, too, can quickly become a part of this fellowship, if we allow ourselves to. One way to start is by tagging along to the local coffee shop after the meeting. At these gatherings, we can let down the walls that separate us from others and discover things about ourselves and other NA members. One on one, we can sometimes disclose things that we may be reluctant to share at the group level. We learn to make small talk at many of these late-night gatherings and forge deep, strong friendships as well. With our newfound friends in NA, we no longer have to live lives of isolation. We can become a part of the greater whole, the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. Just for today: I will break free of isolation. I will strive to feel a part of the NA Fellowship. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The difficulty in life is the choice. --George Moore How we choose to spend our time says much about what is important to us. If we have no goals, we may try to kill time. If we have too many goals, there may not be enough time in the day to do all we set out to do. We must make some choices based on our values. We may need to take more time for some things, and let go of others. For example, this year will we try to learn to play the guitar? Perhaps we have finally decided to drop out of that club which seems to have little purpose. Will we give more time to work, or less time? With each of these choices, we shape our lives. We can do it with the touch of an artist if we pay attention to the choices we are making. What is truly important to me today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. --Antoine de Saint Exupery It has been said that intuition is a talent of women, but in this program we, as men, are learning to listen to our own inner feelings. This is a strength which has nothing to do with gender. Many times we have a quiet inner knowing of something, but in the past we developed insensitivity to these messages. Our growing self respect includes the ability to stand up for what simply feels right. We don't have to prove anything to ourselves. If we dismiss our own private feelings, all we have left to go on is someone else's idea of reality. This realm of inner feeling is the realm of wisdom. It is the creative part, the mysterious part, the spiritual part. It is the foundation of honesty with ourselves. In these quiet moments, we are more able to perceive what we know in our hearts. As we grow, we respect and trust it more. Help me respect my private messages from within. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Flattery is so necessary to all of us that we flatter one another just to be flattered in return. --Marjorie Bowen We are all deserving of unconditional love and acceptance. And all the people in our lives, past and present, deserve our unconditional love and acceptance, too. However, it's doubtful that we either feel it all of the time from others or give it away. It's human of us to find fault--to have expectations that are too high. But for this we pay a price. Instead of experiencing our lives serenely, contentedly, flowing with what is, we often criticize, judge, and feel generally disgruntled throughout the day. What a waste! We do have another choice, fortunately. We can let go and let God, and live and let live. Also we can recall, today and every day, that we are all special individuals in this world who are loved, fully, by our Creator. The greatest contribution we can make to the lives of others is to be affirming. We can let our spouse, children, and friends know we care about them. That we love and accept them. The love that we also long for will come back to us. We thrill at being affirmed. And we will thrill at affirming. It feels good to help another feel appreciated. Love and acceptance is my lifeline, from God around us all. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Removing the Victim Dont others see how much Im hurting? Cant they see I need help? Dont they care? The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, its because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had. It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change. Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself. My Higher Power guides me in directions that fills positive needs in my life today. I have grown to see that my true needs are love and peace and joy. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Learn to Say Good-Bye Sometimes we need to say good-bye. Some good-byes come suddenly, without warning. Others are anticipated. Sometimes they’re a relief. And sometimes they hurt deeply. We say good-bye to things, people, and places. We say good-bye to beliefs and behaviors that become outdated. Occasionally along the journey we need to say good-bye to something else,too– our dreams. Dreams are precious. They become embedded in our minds and our hearts. When they die, it can be painful to let go of them. But if we’re not careful, dead dreams we haven’t released can sabotage our lives and hearts. We will continue to try to place people and things in the vacant roles in our dreams. Our dead dreams will, in fact, be controlling our lives and blocking our hearts. Living with dreams that are dead closes the door to finding new visions and creating new dreams. If you can’t see today or tomorrow clearly because of yesterday’s dreams, it may be time for a funeral. Tenderly take your dearest dreams, your highest hopes and aims– the ones from yesterday that are now never to be– and place them gently in the ground. Tell them how dear they were, and are. But tell them also, it’s time to say good-bye. Cover them up. Dry your eyes. And open yourself to the new hopes and dreams of today. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of the controls “You have the controls,” my fllight instructor says. “No, you have the controls,” I say back. “No I don’t,” he says. “You do.” My banter with my flight instructor can be amusing at times. It’s not so funny when we fight about issues of power and control in our lives. And usually it goes the other way. We don’t want to give the controls to someone else; we want those reins ourselves. We want to get our way. And we get upset when things don’t work out. Sometimes, after we’ve been working on ourselves and our control issues for a while, we begin to get complacent. Because we’ve been so effectively using and directing our power, we rarely get in battles we can’t win. Things work out smoothly. We mostly get our way, because we’re not trying to control what we can’t. That’s when it’s easy to think we’re more powerful than we are. Are you engaged in a power struggle with someone or something you can’t change? Spend a moment thinking about it. Is that really the way you want to use your energy and power, trying to do the impossible, creating rifts, and fighting battles you can’t win? When we try to control someone else or events beyond the scope of our power, we lose. When we learn to discern the difference between what we can change and what we can’t, we usually have an easier time expressing our power in our lives. Because we’re not wasting all our energy using our power to change things we can’t, we have a lot of energy left over to live our lives. Learn to say whatever when you don’t get what you want. Learn to let things be the way they are. God, help me let go of my need to control and to be open to the flow of the universe. ****************************************** In God’s Care You should practice humility first toward man, and only then toward God. He who despises men has no respect for God. ~~Paracelsus It is easier for us to be humble before God than before people. When we have to admit we need help, we are swallowing a a dose of humility, but if it’s just between us and God, it’s not as hard to take. Being humble with our fellow human beings is different. An act of humility before a visible, breathing, thinking witness may be frightening. The witness, after all, could be judgmental. Are we afraid to be vulnerable? More importantly, can we afford not to be? When we can face fellow suffers and admit the need for help, recovery begins. Humbling ourselves in this way is our introduction to Divine power: through the compassion our brothers and sisters show for us, we come to know the love of God. I receive help for all my spiritual needs by being open, first to my brothers and sisters. and then to God. ****************************************** The Valley of Despair Seeds of Light by Madisyn Taylor Even in our darkest times, there are seeds of light within ourselves, we need only call them forward. Anyone who has walked through the valley of despair and come out the other side knows that even in that darkness, seeds of light can be found. Often their tendrils reach out of the gloom and into the daylight alongside the journeyer who emerges from that deep sorrow. When we find ourselves in a place of despair, it can help us to know this, so that we don’t give up. We can stop, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves that we will find ourselves on the other side of this troubled time, and that we may even emerge with something new to offer. It seems that despair has been around for as long as humans have been able to express themselves, and many of the great artists, teachers, and visionaries have labored through times of depression and hopelessness. Their words, images, and lives can serve as beacons in the darkness, even if they can’t always immediately lead us out. In the end, we must find our own way, and this is why despair often overwhelms us when it comes; we doubt that we have the resources to contend with such a formidable presence all by ourselves. This is when we must come to our own aid and know in our hearts that we have what it takes to keep moving forward in the general direction of the light. Even though we must ultimately rely on ourselves, this doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help. Our friends and families can help us, as can our inner guides and helping spirits. They can serve the purpose of a fire that burns throughout the night, keeping us warm, and providing a light by which we might see the changes we may need to make in order to move forward. In addition, there truly are seeds of light inside us, however small, waiting to unfurl their green shoots, if only we will give them the time. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day There have been days during my recovery when just about everything seemed bleak and even hopeless. I allowed myself to become depressed and angry. I see now that it doesn’t matter what I think, and it doesn’t matter how I feel. It’s what I do that counts. So when I become anxious or upset, I try to get into action by going to meetings, participating, and working with others in The Program. If God seems far away, who moved? Today I Pray May I not be immobilized by sadness or anger to the point of despair. May I look for the roots of despair in my tangle of emotions, sort out the tangle, pulll out there culprit feelings, acknowledge that they belong to me. Only then can I get into gear,m take action,m begin to accomplish. May I learn to make use of the energy generated by anger to strengthen my will and achieve my goals. Today I Will Remember To sort out my feelings. ****************************************** One More Day A man without a plan for the day is lost before he starts. – Levis K. Bendele Some mornings we are tempted, especially when we are having more than our usual share of pain, to resist the demands and responsibilities of the day before us. We are enticed by the thought5 of making a cup of coffee, climbing back into bed with the newspaper, and hiding from the world. Although emptying, this is usually not a good plan for us, and what we need is a plan that encourages us to live the day fully. We may actually have to contrive a plan to push us into action. Personal care, chores needing to be done, letters or phone calls to friends, a trip to the store for groceries — these emphasize our importance and the importance of the day. Without a plan, we risk wasting twenty-four hours in loneliness and self-pity. I and this day are important, and my plan reflects this. ************************************ Food For Thought Keep Planning Maintaining our abstinence means that we continue to plan our three measured meals each day. To leave them to chance is to invite trouble, since compulsive overeaters do not learn how to eat spontaneously, no matter how long they try. Planning means that we have the food we need available when we need it. We make decisions about what we will eat when we are rested and strong, not when we are in a rush, overtired, or over hungry. Preparing meals ahead for busy days, shopping for food after a meal rather than before, remembering to allow time for defrosting - there are many ways to make it easy to follow a food plan. When we are convinced that abstinence is the most important thing in our lives, we are able to find ways to maintain it no matter how difficult the circumstances. Help me to remember to plan. ***************************************** One Day At A Time LOYALTY “We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea, and we owe each other our loyalty." ~ G. K. Chesterton As is often typical of a compulsive overeater, the more I struggled to be loyal in my relationships with others, God, and myself, the more I found myself to be capable of loyalty only to food, shame, hiding my secrets, and despairing of any hope for recovery. It was my shame that drove me to ineffectual attempts at loyalty – and shame breeds loyalty only to shame. My relationships were in chaos, my mind was my enemy, and my emotions were tumultuous. When my pain overcame my attempts to be loyal, and my addiction to shame led to broken relationships, I had to finally admit that my efforts to control my life were fruitless – and would remain fruitless – unless I sought help. When I entered recovery I feared the honesty and transparency that loyalty to self, others, God, and the truth would require of me. Among others who struggled with the same disease, however, I found that there can be no loyalty without taking a fearless inventory of my life and making a faithful accounting of my legacy. I found that I must surrender my loyalty to my disease, and place my loyalty in the hands of my Higher Power and in the open sharing of my reality. Only then could I cultivate loyalty in my relationships. One day at a time ... I will choose loyalty to healthy relationships with others, God, and myself – and I will resist the temptation to be loyal to my disease. Lisa ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else? - Pg. 37 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It is easy to 'beat ourselves up' when we are lonely, scared, and feeling rejected by those we love. But if we go to meetings every day, find a sponsor and use him/her, read our literature, and follow the suggestions being give to us now, we really don't have much time to dwell on 'lonely, scared, and rejected.' Show me right now what I need to do to live this hour through, clean and sober. Opening to the New Each new day is a gift. Today I will open the day slowly, like a present that's wrapped in hours. I will be open to what my world offers me. The world comes to greet me like an old friend each morning. My daily habits comfort and ground me. The thought of moving into my day pleases me. Life unfolds one second at a time and today I will be present to witness it. How much of my life do I let pass by unnoticed? How many of my feelings go unfelt? Today I will recognize that my time on earth is limited. I choose to value my life a day at a time and embrace it while I have it. I am open to life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We find that the winners do what they have to do and the losers do what they want to do. The winners are stuck with me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Denial is not a river in Egypt, but you can drown in it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My Higher Power guides me in directions that fills positive needs in my life today. I have grown to see that my true needs are love and peace and joy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I was a functioning alcoholic; I had a wife who worked. - Sean A. |
March 16
Daily Reflections AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea . . . "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?" That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 12 I remember the times I looked up into the sky and reflected on who started it all, and how. When I came to A.A., an understanding of some description of the spiritual dimension became a necessary adjunct to a stable sobriety. After reading a variety of versions, including the scientific, of a great explosion, I went for simplicity and made the God of my understanding the Great Power that made the explosion possible. With the vastness of the universe under His command, He would, no doubt, be able to guide my thinking and actions if I was prepared to accept His guidance. But I could not expect help if I turned my back on that help and went my own way. I became willing to believe and I have had 26 years of stable and satisfying sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Before we decide to quit drinking, most of us have come up against a blank wall. We see that we're licked, that we have to quit. But we don't know which way to turn for help. There seems to be no door in that blank wall. A.A. opens the door that leads to sobriety. By encouraging us to honestly admit that we're alcoholics and to realize that we can't take even one drink, and by showing us which way to turn for help, A.A. opens the door in that blank wall. Have I gone through that door to sobriety? Meditation For The Day I must have a singleness of purpose to do my part in God's work. I must not let material distractions interfere with my job of improving personal relationships. It is easy to become distracted by material affairs, so that I lose my singleness of purpose. I do not have time to be concerned about the multifarious concerns of the world. I must concentrate and specialize on what I can do best. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not become distracted by material affairs. I pray that I may concentrate on doing what I can do best. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Losing Financial Fears, p. 75 When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence looked more important than a right independence upon God, we were the victims of unreasonable fears. And these were fears which would make a serene and useful existence, at any financial level, quite impossible. But as time passed we found that with the help of A.A.'s Twelve Steps we could lose those fears, no matter what our material prospects were. We could cheerfully perform humble labor without worrying about tomorrow. If our circumstances happened to be good, we no longer dreaded a change for the worse, for we had learned that these troubles could be turned into great values, for ourselves and for others. 12 & 12, pp. 121-122 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Anger…. A dangerous weapon Self-control One reason some of us have trouble overcoming anger is that we've used it too often as an offensive weapon. It can be employed as an excuse to leave the house, it can bring an argument to an explosive end, and it can make others fearful and defensive. In the past this brought results of a sort, and helped reinforce the idea that anger works. The trouble with anger, though, is that it's destructive. Once angry, we hurt ourselves and we hurt others. Terrible things said in anger leave wounds that never heal, creating problems that lead to more anger. The AA program can show us that there is virtually no justification for anger, under any and all circumstances. If we sense it coming on, we have the choice of taking charge of our feelings. If we're angry over another's behavior, we can remember that anger might be a way of reacting, but it's not necessary in our lives. I'll make it through this day without a trace of anger. I'll frequently remind myself that anger is destructive and that my real purpose is to build a better life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.---Oscar Wilde We all change. We learn, and change, and grow. We once made alcohol or other drugs our Higher Power. Perhaps we had other higher powers too---like money, gambling, food, or sex. But, it's never too late to be in touch with a true Higher Power. Each day we follow a false higher power, we aren't. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me put my life and will in Your hands today. Help me be a saint, just for today. Action for the Day: How have my ideas about saints and sinners changed since I got into a Twelve Step program? I'll talk with my sponsor about it today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning True intimacy with another human being can only be experienced when you have found true peace within yourself. --Angela L. Wozniak Intimacy means disclosure--full expression of ourselves to another person. Nothing held back. All bared. There are risks, of course: rejection, criticism, perhaps ridicule. But the comfort we feel within is directly proportional to the peace we've come to know. Each day we commit ourselves to recovery, we find a little more peace. Each conversation we have with our higher power brings us a little more security. Each time we turn our full attention to another person's needs, we feel our own burdens lightened. Peace comes in stages. As we continue to accept our powerlessness, the depth of our peace increases. Turning more often to a power greater than ourselves eases our resistance to whatever condition prevails. Forgiving ourselves and others, daily, heightens our appreciation of all life and enhances our humility. Therein lies peace. We each are a necessary part of the creative spirit prevailing in this world. The details of our lives are well in hand. We can be at peace. Who we are is who we need to be. Intimacy lets me help someone else also live a full and peace-filled life. I will reach out to someone today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word “God” brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism, We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, “Who, then, make all this?” There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. pp. 45-46 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories TIGHTROPE Trying to separate worlds was a lonely charade that ended when this gay alcoholic finally landed in A.A. When I first came to this Fellowship, I had lost my health and sanity, my friends, much of my family, my self-respect, and my God. In the years since, all of these have been restored to me. I no longer have the sense of impending doom. I no longer wish for death or stare at myself in the mirror with loathing. I have a dozen years in the A.A. Fellowship, I was able to join a religious group and have now become active in the organization. I have a full, happy life, with friends and loving family. Recently I retired and have begun to travel throughout the world. I have attended and felt welcome at A.A. meetings wherever I have gone inside and outside the United States. Even more important, I have returned to my home group and am still asked to make coffee. I now have an extended family that is international in scope, all the members of which are joined by bonds of shared pain and joy. pp. 368 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Though in some cases we cannot make restitution at all, and in some cases action ought to be deferred, we should nevertheless make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life as it has affected other people. In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness. At the time of these occurrences, they may actually have given our emotions violent twists which have since discolored our personalities and altered our lives for the worse. pp. 79-80 ************************************************** ********* Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." --Carl Jung No matter how long a room is dark, turn on a light and the room brightens. Today marks a new beginning. You can claim a clean slate with God. --Mary Manin Morrissey The principle we are working with today is STILLNESS. It is accomplished through the act of meditation, which is stilling of the physical/conscious mind to all external stimuli. Continuous, contemplative thought given to truth. A steady effort of the mind to know and hear the voice of God from within the being. The act of not doing in an attempt to expand the awareness of being. When we quiet the conscious mind to hear the Divine presence. --Iyalna Vanzant Is my way of handling anger pleasing to God? --Marilyn Watson I Am Responsible . . . When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible. --Declaration of 30th Anniversary International Convention, 1965 As Bill Sees It, p. 332 ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation RISK "A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular." -- Adlai Stevenson Tough love requires that at times I must say or do things that make me "unpopular". That is part of the spiritual risk of loving: to be popular is not always to be right! As an alcoholic I was a people-pleaser; concerned with saying what people wanted to hear, do what people expected, remain silent rather than cause upsets. I was afraid that if I said what I really thought, I might be rejected. My self-esteem was secondary to what other people thought of me. Today in my sobriety I love myself enough to say what I believe and do what I consider right. I refuse to remain silent when confronted with injustice or the addictions of others. My spiritual program risks the possibility of being unpopular. Teach me to always say and do what I believe to be true. ************************************************** ********* "For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does." Psalm 33:4 Thine, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty. 1 Chronicles 29:11 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. Ephesians 4:26 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Prayer turns the attention from ourselves to God and helps us see His hand working in our lives. Lord, You give me reasons for a daily commitment to achieving a full and energetic life. Allow the power of God to work within you because He is able to accomplish far more than we can dream. Lord, Your spirit empowers me. May I do Your Will and always give glory to You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Inventory "The purpose of a searching and fearless moral inventory is to sort through the confusion and the contradiction of our lives so that we can find out who we really are." Basic Text p. 27 Using addicts are a confused and confusing bunch of people. It's hard to tell from one minute to the next what they're going to do or who they're going to be. Usually, the addict is just as surprised as anyone else. When we used, our behavior was dictated by the needs of our addiction. Many of us still identify our personalities closely with the behavior we practiced while using, leading us to feel shame and despair. Today, we don't have to be the people we once were, shaped by our addiction; recovery has allowed us to change. We can use the Fourth Step inventory to see past the needs of the old using life and find out who we want to be today. Writing about our behavior and noticing how we feel about that behavior helps us understand who we want to be. Our inventory helps us see beyond the demands of active addiction, beyond our desire to be loved and accepted—we find out who we are at the root. We begin to understand what's appropriate for us, and what we want our lives to be like. This is the beginning of becoming who we really are. Just for today: If I want to find out who I am, I'll look at who I've been and who I want to be. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. 'Tis God gives skill, but not without men's hands. He could not make Antonio Stradivarius violins without Antonio. --George Eliot When she was four years old, she climbed onto the piano stool. To her parents' astonishment, a simple prelude she'd heard on the radio flew across the keys from her fingers. That very week they found her a teacher, and the house was filled with the music of her developing talent. While other girls played, made the honor roll, starred on the basketball team, and dated boyfriends, she sat inside at her beloved piano and practiced. At seventeen, when she made her debut, the critics said, "She's a natural. A genius!" We know she was no natural, but through hard work, she made her piano playing part of her nature. When we put love into our labor, our own dreams grow into being. Am I willing to make some sacrifices today to do the things I really want to do? You are reading from the book Touchstones. When a man's self is hidden from everybody else ... it seems also to become hidden even from himself, and it permits disease and death to gnaw into his substance without his clear knowledge. --Sidney Jourard A man's recovery is in knowing himself honestly and learning to have loving relationships with others. Many of us have had close calls with death as the consequence of our addictions or codependency. We ignored the dangers in our lives and many of us neglected our health. We wore ourselves out and wasted our energies. Spiritual recovery and physical health go hand in hand. In recovery, moving toward fullness in life, our selves are returned to us. We leave behind our old learning and habits because they were lethal. We are becoming men who tune in to ourselves and to others around us. We are looking at ourselves and saying, "I'll work with it!" I will not hide myself; I will continue to be open with myself and others. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. True intimacy with another human being can only be experienced when you have found true peace within yourself. --Angela L. Wozniak Intimacy means disclosure--full expression of ourselves to another person. Nothing held back. All bared. There are risks, of course: rejection, criticism, perhaps ridicule. But the comfort we feel within is directly proportional to the peace we've come to know. Each day we commit ourselves to recovery, we find a little more peace. Each conversation we have with our higher power brings us a little more security. Each time we turn our full attention to another person's needs, we feel our own burdens lightened. Peace comes in stages. As we continue to accept our powerlessness, the depth of our peace increases. Turning more often to a power greater than ourselves eases our resistance to whatever condition prevails. Forgiving ourselves and others, daily, heightens our appreciation of all life and enhances our humility. Therein lies peace. We each are a necessary part of the creative spirit prevailing in this world. The details of our lives are well in hand. We can be at peace. Who we are is who we need to be. Intimacy lets me help someone else also live a full and peace-filled life. I will reach out to someone today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Positive Energy Its so easy to look around and notice what's wrong. It takes practice to see what's right. Many of us have lived around negativity for years. We've become skilled at labeling what's wrong with other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, our conduct, our recovery, and ourselves. We want to be realistic, and our goal is to identify and accept reality. However, this is often not our intent when we practice negativity. The purpose of negativity is usually annihilation. Negative thinking empowers the problem. It takes us out of harmony. Negative energy sabotages and destroys. It has a powerful life of its own. So does positive energy. Each day, we can ask what's right, what's good - about other people, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, ourselves, our conduct, our recovery. Positive energy heals, conducts love, and transforms. Choose positive energy. Today, God help me let go of negativity. Transform my beliefs and thinking, at the core, from negative to positive. Put me in harmony with the good. Choosing positive thoughts and making positive choices fill me with new strength, confidence and excitement. I can feel positive energy flow through me with every positive thought I choose. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Become Willing to Heal Your Heart We don’t open our hearts by being a tower of strength. We don’t open our hearts by glossing over things in our head. We open our hearts by feeling what we feel. We open our hearts by being vulnerable, honest, and gentle. We’ve become so strong, so self-sufficient. I can deal with that we say. No big deal. I’ll keep moving on. Yet many circumstances we’ve been through, and some we’re going through now, cause break lines in our heart. Some of the fractures are small. Some are big. They really hurt. Maybe certain people in our lives weren’t there for us, aren’t there for us now in a way we’d like them to be. Maybe some deceived us unconsciously or betrayed us deliberately. I can deal with that we say. I understand. They have their own issues. I forgive. Yes, people do have their own issues. And we do forgive. But now it may be time to learn gentleness, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness for ourselves as well. We don’t open our hearts by ignoring the break lines. We take our hand, knowing it’s held by God, and gently run our fingers across each crack. Yes, it’s there. Yes, I feel it. Yes, I’m ready to heal my heart. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t be a back seat driver I was walking through a toy store one day when I saw a little toy steering wheel attached to the tray of a stroller. The child could play with the wheel and pretend that he or she was controlling the direction of the cart. The steering wheel wasn’t attached to anything; someone else was behind the stroller, pushing it here or there. The child could steer all he or she wanted to, but if Mom was going to the hardware department, then the child was going there,too. What a good lesson to teach children at such an early age: no matter where you steer, something bigger than you is going to push you wherever it wants. We soon outgrow the stroller and then burst into adulthood. First we learn to drive– finally a wheel that does something! Now we’ve got real freedom! But the car needs gas, we have a curfew, and there are speed limits and driving laws. Or we graduate from school and move into the real world. Finally no more parents controlling our every move. But then there is rent, and the boss, and the roommates, or a spouse and children to consider. No matter how much we grow, where we go, or how old we get, there is someone else above, someone bigger, pushing us in this direction or that. Sorry, no new car this year, you’ve got a different lesson to learn. We can want things, pray for things, and hope that things will come to pass. But ultimately, we’re not in control. Instead of spending our time and energy trying to get someplace else, we can learn the lesson and enjoy the beauty of the life we’ve been given. ****************************************** In God’s Care As the ripples caused by a flung stone stir the surface of a whole pond, so your joy-making shall spread in ever-widening circles. ~~God Calling, March 10th We might all have friends who stir up bubbles of joy within us. We love being in their presence. A gloomy day doesn’t darken their mood, as it might ours, and we wonder where their joy comes from. The answer is simple. Somehow, they have discovered that they have some choice as to their mood, and in most situations they decide to experience joy. We can choose the same for ourselves. Our feelings, actions, and attitudes are within our personal realm of control. To pretend that only people and circumstances are what make us happy or angry is denying what God has given each of us: the power to make choices about who we are every moment. To feel joy is often a decision no more difficult than to feel sorrow. Choosing to see our blessings, even in the wake of turmoil, will bring us joy. And then we, too, can encourage joy in others. My joy can be my decision. I’ll make joy my mood of choice whenever possible today. ****************************************** Answering the Call Taking Responsibility for Your Destiny by Madisyn Taylor Each and every day you have the opportunity to answer your own call and take action toward creating the life you want. There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality. Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside. Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The Program teaches us that we are bodily and mentally different than our fellows. We are reminded that the great obsession of every abnormal drinker — and every one of us who is otherwise addictive — is to prove that somehow, some day, we will be able to control our drinking,, eating or gambling. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing, we are told, and many pursue it to the gates of insanity or death. Have I conceded to my innermost self that, for me, “One is too many and a thousand not enough..”? Today I Pray May I have no illusions about someday becoming a moderate drinker or drug-user after being an obsessive one. May I muffle any small voice of destructive pride which lies to me, telling me that I can now go back to my former addiction and control it. This is a Program of no-return, and I thank God for it. Today I Will Remember My goal must be lifelong abstinence — a day at a time. ****************************************** One More Day Time ripens all things. No man’s born wise. – Cervantes One moment in time, a phrase from an old song that still rings true. In a single moment we could decide the balance of how we will live our lives. Split-second decisions, not all good ones, permeate the fabric of our lives, of everyone’s lives — regardless of medical problems. Sometimes we are very sorry about a decision we made too quickly, a decision which may alter the course of our lives for a short while or even permanently. Perhaps the car we insisted on having is a lemon, or we may not like the new community into which we impulsively moved. We have to learn to live with our decisions, at least until we make a decision to change. Ponder a decision just a moment longer. Each experience can deepen our wisdom. I will attempt to take my time when making decisions. ************************************ Food For Thought Difficult Times When we have hard things to do, we especially need our abstinence. We know from experience that maintaining it is the only way we can feel good and cope effectively. Formerly, we turned to food to strengthen us and prop us up during difficult times. We invariably ate too much and were less able to manage the troublesome situation. Food then became an escape, and we sometimes ended up doing nothing at all about a problem, since we had eaten ourselves into oblivion. We know now that instead of strengthening us, extra food incapacitates us. No matter how difficult the situation we face, we know that eating unnecessary food will eventually make it worse. We have come to believe that whatever happens, our Higher Power will give us the strength we need if we will rely on Him. May I rely on You, Lord, instead of food. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Serenity "Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm." Anonymous Quote Why is serenity so important to our recovery? Because darkness cannot exist where there is light! If we can maintain a serene state of mind as established through our faith in HP and the BB Promises, negative emotions and behavior will have no power over us. Stress, fear, compulsiveness, obsessiveness, resentment, guilt, shame, willfulness, doubt, distrust, greed and envy, have no power over a mind that is kept in serene repose. Serenity allows us to see situations clearly and make wise decisions. Most importantly, by maintaining a serene mind, we keep the door to our High Power open. One Day at a Time . . . I will face each challenge with grace and serenity. ~ Rob R. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. - Pg. 62 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We always wanted our image to be so good, yet we always seemed to come off bad. No amount of mind-affecting chemicals ever made us come off good, either. They just made us think we were OK. But there is nothing so bad right now, that a fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort won't make it worse. May I clearly see that drugs only provided an illusion of good time, not the real thing. Each Day is a Day of Birth I am being continually reborn. Each day life renews itself transforming from one state to another. Flowers bloom and then their petals drop to the ground and become fertilizer for new growth. Seasons change. The sun comes up and at the end of each day it disappears for the night only to reappear bright, strong and warm the next morning. I am part of this natural and daily renewal of life. Everything I experience becomes part of my process of personal growth. I refine my learning each day, I drop what I don't need to the ground where it becomes fertilizer for tomorrow's renewal, tomorrow's rebirth, into my ever expanding sense of life. Each day gifts come and go, each day they are renewed. I am born each day into more of myself. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There are two times when you need to go to a meeting, when you think you need one and when you know you don't. Rather than thinking about going to a meeting, I go to the meeting, and then think about it. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You can't change reality, but you can change your attitude towards it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Choosing positive thoughts and making positive choices fille me with new strength, confidence and excitement. I can feel positive energy flow through me with every positive thought I choose. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Fear is a darkroom where negatives are developed. - Anon. |
March 17
Daily Reflections MYSTERIOUS WAYS . . . out of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does "move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105 After losing my career, family and health, I remained unconvinced that my way of life needed a second look. My drinking and other drug use were killing me, but I had never met a recovering person or an A.A. member. I thought I was destined to die alone and that I deserved it. At the peak of my despair, my infant son became critically ill with a rare disease. Doctors' efforts to help him proved useless. I redoubled my efforts to block my feelings, but now the alcohol had stopped working. I was left staring into God's eyes, begging for help. My introduction to A.A. came within days, through an odd series of coincidences, and I have remained sober ever since. My son lived and his disease is in remission. The entire episode convinced me of my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Today my son and I thank God for his intervention. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day A. A. also helps us to hang onto sobriety. By having regular meetings so that we can associate with other alcoholics who have come through that same door in the wall, by encouraging us to tell the story of our own sad experiences with alcohol, and by showing us how to help other alcoholics. A.A. keeps us sober. Our attitude toward life changes from one of pride and selfishness to one of humility and gratitude. Am I going to step back through that door in the wall to my old helpless, hopeless, drunken life? Meditation For The Day Withdraw into the calm of communion with God. Rest in that calm and peace. When the soul finds its home of rest in God, then it is that real life begins. Only when you are calm and serene can you do good work. Emotional upsets make you useless. The eternal life is calmness and when a man enters into that, then he lives as an eternal being. Calmness is based on complete trust in God. Nothing in this world can separate you from the love of God. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may wear the world like a loose garment. I pray that I may keep serene at the center of my being. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Only God Is Unchanging, p. 76 "Change is the characteristic of all growth. From drinking to sobriety, from dishonesty to honesty, from conflict to serenity, from hate to love, from childish independence to adult responsibility--all this and infinitely more represent change for the better. "Such changes are accomplished by a belief in and a practice of sound principles. Here we must needs discard bad or ineffective principles in favor of good ones that work. Even good principles can sometimes be displaced by the discovery of still better ones. "Only God is unchanging; only He has all the truth there is." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Is it Easy? Practicing principles There's no "softer, easier way," we're told. If so, why are we also urged to embrace the slogan "Easy Does it?" Which is right? Both are right, because they express two different ideas. The softer, easier way doesn't work because it grows out of self-deception and falls short of a thorough working of the program. "Easy Does it" works because it describes an approach to action that is relaxed, confident, and careful. The person seeking an easier, softer way usually avoids taking some of the steps that are considered necessary in maintaining sobriety. It's a way of trying to win without doing sufficient work. The person following the "Easy Does it" principle pays attention to every detail, but carries on without reasonable haste or excessive loafing. In a spiritual sense, "Easy Does it" also means letting the Higher Power carry the load. At all times, however, we must continue to make choices and bear responsibility for our actions. I'll be relaxed and confident while carrying on a full day's activity. There is always time to do things the right way. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Skill to do comes of doing.---Ralph Waldo Emerson Often, we just want to sit and do nothing. And why not. We go to meetings, work the Twelve Steps, read, make new friends. All this takes energy and means taking risk. Haven't we earned the right to just sit and take it a break from it all? No! In the past, we avoided life. Now we're becoming people of action. We take risk. We're becoming people who get involved in life. We practice caring about people and caring about ourselves. At times, we may complain, but we do what is needed to stay sober. We gain skills by doing. why? We do it to save our lives. How? By trusting. We now trust that our Higher Power and friends will be there for us. They will help us push past our fears. As we practice daily how to stay sober, our skills grow. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, Yours is a spirit of action. Allow me to become skilled at being active. Action for the Day: Today, I'll work at being active and alive. Maybe I'll start a new friendship or try a new meeting. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning. A woman who is loved always has success. --Vicki Baum Being loved, and knowing that we are loved, assures us of our connection to the world outside of ourselves. It affirms us as participants in the bigger picture. And all of us need to know that we count--that what we say and do matters to others--that we are contributing in an important way. Often we feel unloved, however. And we search for love. We may have begged for love and still didn't feel it. We have probably become very self-centered in our search. Fortunately, the program helps us to give love to others; the paradox is that love is returned, tenfold. The wonders of love are many. Love is a healing balm for wounds. And it nurtures, both the one loving and the one loved. Love is an energizer. It spurs us on to successes in work and in play. Love multiplies. If we aren't feeling loved, we can love someone else--and love will visit us, too. We can help the women in our lives find the successes they deserve. The confidence to tackle new situations is packaged in the gift of love. We need to help one another count. My love of another is a contributing factor in her success. Her loving gratitude will enhance my own endeavors. I will take a moment, today, with a friend who needs my love. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. Let us make haste to reassure you. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. p. 46 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories FLOODED WITH FEELING - When a barrier to God collapsed, this self-described agnostic was at Step Three. When I first came to A.A., I thought everybody had drunk more than I had, that everybody had gotten into more trouble. But I kept coming to meetings, and after a while, I began to hear the beginnings of their stories. I came to realize that I was on the same road. I just hadn't gone as far--yet. p. 369 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." While the purpose of making restitution to others is paramount, it is equally necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can. Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one. Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations can deepen our insight. We can go far beyond those things which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives. Thoroughness, we have found, will pay--and pay handsomely. p. 80 ************************************************** ********* He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe. --Marcus Aurelius I have learned what a heart full of gratitude feels like. If you make yourself a doormat, you will be stepped on. --American Proverb The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. --Marcel Proust The Way isn't something that can be put into words. You have to practice before you can understand. You can't force things, including practice. Understanding is something that happens naturally. It's different for everyone. The main thing is to reduce your desires and quiet your mind. --Master Hsueh Within man is the soul of the whole; the wise silence; the universal beauty; to which every part and every particle is equally related; the eternal One. --Ralph Waldo Emerson ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SAINTS "The saints are the sinners who keep on going." -- Robert Louis Stevenson At times I do not want to carry on; I do not want to fight anymore for truth and freedom; it seems so much easier to "give up " and agree with everybody --- but I know, deep inside myself, this is not true. At times the disease speaks to me and tells me to "give up" and everything will be okay --- perhaps have one drink, don't rush off to so many meetings, get what you can when you can! It all sounds so tempting, but I know that it does not work. Sobriety works! The struggle and pain to act responsibly in my life is paying off and it does get better. I am not going to give up. My life is worth more than a quick fix! Lord, let me know that true courage is working through the pain. ************************************************** ********* "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalms 55:22 "Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You." Psalms 56:3 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 Jesus said, "Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:12-13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We have been given a treasure of talents which should be accepted with responsibility and gratitude. Lord, may my gifts flourish in great faith and charity so that they may also benefit others. Love who you are, for who you are, God loves. Lord, help me to never abuse myself with self pity or excess, emotionally or physically, so that I may live my life to the fullest according to Your Will. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today True Courage "Those who make it through these times show a courage not their own." Basic Text p. 82 Before coming to NA, many of us thought we were brave simply because we had never experienced fear. We had drugged all our feelings, fear among them, until we had convinced ourselves that we were tough, courageous people who wouldn't crack under any circumstances. But finding our courage in drugs has nothing to do with the way we live our lives today. Clean and in recovery, we are bound to feel frightened at times. When we first realize we are feeling frightened, we may think we are cowards. Were afraid to pick up the phone because the person on the other end might not understand. We're afraid to ask someone to sponsor us because they might say no. We're afraid to look for a job. We're afraid to be honest with our friends. But all of these fears are natural, even healthy. What's not healthy is allowing fear to paralyze us. When we permit our fear to stop our growth, we will be defeated. True courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the willingness to walk through it. Just for today: I will be courageous today. When I'm afraid, I'll do what I need to do to grow in recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Love is always open arms. --Leo Buscaglia There is a story about a boy who left home and dishonored his father by spending a large amount of money on fast and reckless living. When the boy's money ran out, he was faced with the prospect of returning home to face his father, knowing the father had every reason to be disappointed in him. Filled with fear and shame he approached his home, his mind racing with words of apology. Before the boy could say a word, his father rushed to him with open arms and hugged his lost son in joy and love. Have we done this? Have we found it in our hearts to approve whatever a loved one does, even if we would have wanted something different? Love like this is the highest kind of love. It finds joy in others no matter what, because it recognizes the freedom of those we love, and doesn't chain them to our own wants. It is the same kind of love God has for us. Are my arms open today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The reward of friendship is itself. The man who hopes for anything else does not understand what true friendship is. --Saint Ailred of Rievaulx The comfort of a true friend in a time of trouble, the strength we sense in being with someone who truly knows us, the affirmation of life that comes with enduring friendships - no other experience is like these. Recovery, once our addictive behaviors end, is mostly through relationships. In this program we are developing a friendship with ourselves, with other men and women, and with our Higher Power. True friendship happens when we lower our guard and let our feelings show. It happens when we listen without judgment. It accumulates over time in many little experiences with someone. There is friendship in returning to someone when we feel offended or hurt so the relationship can be repaired - and in returning to him when we have been the offender. Sometimes friendship means humility, or accepting our worthiness to be forgiven. The development and deepening of our friendships, with other men, with women, and with ourselves sustains us in recovery. Today, I will be true in my friendships. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. A woman who is loved always has success. --Vicki Baum Being loved, and knowing that we are loved, assures us of our connection to the world outside of ourselves. It affirms us as participants in the bigger picture. And all of us need to know that we count--that what we say and do matters to others--that we are contributing in an important way. Often we feel unloved, however. And we search for love. We may have begged for love and still didn't feel it. We have probably become very self-centered in our search. Fortunately, the program helps us to give love to others; the paradox is that love is returned, tenfold. The wonders of love are many. Love is a healing balm for wounds. And it nurtures, both the one loving and the one loved. Love is an energizer. It spurs us on to successes in work and in play. Love multiplies. If we aren't feeling loved, we can love someone else--and love will visit us, too. We can help the women in our lives find the successes they deserve. The confidence to tackle new situations is packaged in the gift of love. We need to help one another count. My love of another is a contributing factor in her success. Her loving gratitude will enhance my own endeavors. I will take a moment, today, with a friend who needs my love. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Empowering You can think. You can feel. You can solve your problems. You can take care of yourself. Those words have often benefited me more than the most profound and elaborate advice. How easy it is to fall into the trap of doubting others and ourselves. When someone tells us about a problem, what is our reaction? Do we believe we need to solve it for the person? Do we believe that that persons future rests on our ability to advise him or her? Thats standing on shaky ground - not the stuff of which recovery is made. When someone is struggling through a feeling, or a morass of feelings, what is our reaction? That the person will never survive that experience? That its not okay for someone to feel? That he or she will never get through this intact? When a person is faced with the task of assuming responsibility for their life and behaviors, what is our response? That the person cant do that? I must do it myself to save him or her from dissipating into ashes? From crumbling? From failing? What is our reaction to ourselves when we encounter a problem, a feeling, or when we face the prospect of assuming responsibility for ourselves? Do we believe in others and ourselves? Do we give power to people - including ourselves - and their abilities? Or do we give the power to the problem, the feeling, or the irresponsibility? We can learn to check ourselves out. We can learn to think, and consider our response, before we respond. Im sorry youre having that problem. I know you can figure out a solution. Sounds like youve got some feelings going on. I know youll work through them and come out on the other side. Each of us is responsible for ourselves. That does not mean we dont care. It does not mean a cold, calculated withdrawal of our support from others. It means we learn to love and support people in ways that work. It means we learn to love and support ourselves in ways that work. It means that we connect with friends who love and support us in ways that work. To believe in people, to believe in each persons inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others. Today, I will strive to give and receive support that is pure and empowering. I will work at believing in myself and others - and our mutual abilities to be competent at dealing with feelings, solving problems, and taking responsibility for ourselves. Today I know I have a right to be alive and happy and full of joy. Today I trust that I am where I am supposed to be, and am moving in the right direction. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Cherish Hope It was a beautiful city in Idaho. The lake that ran alongside the highway was so clear and blue, I pulled the jeep to the roadside just to stop and stare. The air was clear. The city felt light, airy, buoyant. It’s name was hope. I didn’t stay long. I didn’t need to. But I needed to drive by, drive through, pause for a moment to remember another important power to discover and cherish on our journey. Hope is airy, almost intangible, yet if we don’t have it, we know it. Hope is simple. Clear. Light. Our hearts, our souls, need a good glimpse of it every so often, just to keep us going. Even those times we can’t have what we want, we can be open to seeing its light shining unexpectedly in another direction, like this small town that caught my eye. Cherish hope. It adds buoyancy to the spirit, lightness to the day. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t avoid the void I was sitting at dinner with a group of friends in a restaurant one evening. Everyone but one person was done eating. Feet were shuffling under the table. We were ready to go. One member of the group, an older woman, was picking at her meal. She had ordered dessert, but hadn’t eaten it yet. Instead, she slowly sipped her coffee. “I don’t eat my dessert until I’ve finished coffee,” she said. when the waiter asked if he could take her plate. All eyes at the table watched as she took a tiny sip, placed the cup down, and chattered, telling stories and jokes, making meaningless conversation. We watched eagerly as she started to pick her fork up to take a bite of dessert, then sighed quietly as she changed her mind, set the fork down, and began to tell another story. She was alone, widowed, and her children lived in another state. It was obvious that she was trying to stretch dinner out with her friends as long as she could. She was trying to fill up that empty, silent place we call the void. There’s a lot of talk in life and in this book about doing, achieving, and going for what we want. There’s much spurring on to activity that shouts, “Yes, I’m alive. And I’m fully and richly living my life the best I can.” In all the busyness and living, there needs to be mindfulness and careful attention paid to another part of life, too. That part is the repetitive and natural cycle that some people call “the void.” It’s an empty space in our lives. The void can be a small space in our lives– lasting a few days or weeks. Or it can go on longer. That relationship has ended. We’re alone. We don’t know what to do next. Or that cycle in our lives has ended– maybe we’ve graduated from school or college, and we don’t know where to go next. Maybe our time as a parent has ended. Maybe someone we loved, a roommate or best friend, who was an important part of our lives has moved away. Don’t be afraid of the void. Postpone it for a while, if you must. Linger at dinner with friends, refusing to finish your dessert. As dark, cold, and empty as it feels, the void is a friendly place. Its rhythms are slower and often more confusing than other cycles in our lives, but the rhythms of this cycle are still there. Remember those quiet times in your life, the ones you’ve gone through before, when one cycle has ended and another has not yet begun. Remind yourself when that void comes along that you don’t have to be frightened of it. It’s not the end. It’s only a creative and necessary pause, a cycle of its own, in the cycles and rhythms of life. God, give me the courage to step into the void in my life with dignity, faith, and a sense of humor. Help me cherish the unknown as much as I enjoy activity and clarity. ****************************************** In God’s Care You have to have a talent for having talent. ~~Ruth Gordon Each of us brings different gifts along on our journey. We all have a variety of talents We don’t however, always know how to use them. Some people seem to know how to put their talents to good use. Many of us botch them until we get help from God, who gave them to us. Each of our talents has a purpose. We weren’t given them by accident. We all have talents. And, of course, combinations of talents. But we don’t live up to our potential without God’s direction. I put my talents in God’s hands so that I can live at full capacity. ****************************************** Permission To Feel Pushing Away Emotions Throughout our lives, we may experience emotions that disturb or distress us. Often, our first reaction is to push our feelings away. We may say, “I don’t want to think about that right now, I’ll think about it later” and we bury our emotions, deny the validity of our feelings, or distract ourselves with other concerns. But the diverse emotions you experience are neither good nor bad—they are simply a part being human. Choosing not to experience pain, anger, or other intense feelings could cause those feelings to become buried deep into your physical body. There, they may linger unresolved and unable to emerge, even as they affect the way you experience the world. Allowing yourself to experience all of your emotions rather than push the more painful ones away can help you come to terms with your feelings so you can experience them and then move on. It is possible to bring forth the old feelings you have pushed aside and experience them in a safe and enriching way. It may sound silly to set aside time to feel your old wounds that you haven’t dealt with, but this can be a very beneficial healing experience. Find a safel place and pick a time when you can be alone. Make sure that you feel secure and comfortable in your surroundings. Bring to mind the circumstances that originally triggered the emotions you’ve been pushing away. You may need to revisit these circumstances by reading relevant entries in your journal or using visualization to relive your past. Once you have triggered your long-denied emotions, let yourself feel your feelings, and try not to judge your reactions. Cry or sound your emotions if you need to, and don’t block the flow of your feelings. Allow any thoughts that are connected to your emotions to surface. As you release the feelings you have pushed inside of you, you will find yourself healing from ! the experience associated with these emotions. When you deal with your feelings directly, they can move through you rather than staying stopped up in your body as emotional blocks that can sometimes turn into disease. Acknowledging your emotions, instead of pushing them away, allows you to stay emotionally healthy and in touch with your feelings. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “Lead us not into temptation,” we pray, for we know with certainty that temptation lurks around the corner. Temptation is cunning, baffling, powerful — and patient: we never know when it will catch us with our guard down. Temptation could come in the siren song of a four-color advertisement, the fragment of a half-remembered song or, more obviously, in the direct urgings of another person. We must remain forever vigilant, remembering that the first drink gets us drunk, that the first obsessive bite will likely trigger an overeating orgy, that the first roll of the dice could well destroy our lives. Am I aware of my number one priority? Today I Pray God, lead me out of temptation — whether it is the jolly-but-alcoholic abandon of my peers at a special-occasion celebration, the pressure from my friends to “get in the spirit” of a party, the familiar aura of an apartment where joints are passed around, the sound of rattling dice, the smell of a bakery. May I know the limits of my resistance and stay well within them. May my surrender to the will of God give a whole new meaning to that old phrase, “Get in the spirit.” Today I Will Remember Get in the spirit. ****************************************** One More Day Time is lost when we have not lived a full of human life, time enriched by experience, creative endeavor, enjoyment, and suffering. – Dietrich Bonhoeffer “I’ll never make it through today!” While we all may have had that thought from time to time, we did live through that day to rise the next morning and greet the new day. Time can go by very slowly when we are thinking of one but ourselves. Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by fear of an uncertain future. We may even feel that we have been deserted by our friends and family in a time of need. When overwhelmed with these helpless feelings, we can turn to our Higher Power for comfort and understanding. Knowing we don’t have to work through the details of our lives alone not only comforts us, it fills our minutes and days with positive thoughts and actions. My Higher Power lends me strength to carry me through. ************************************ Food For Thought Vulnerability When we stop doping ourselves with unnecessary food, we become vulnerable. We have been using extra food as a defense against our feelings. Without it, fears and anxieties surface and new energies are released. Instead of retreating into the refrigerator, we can learn day by day how to live with our exposed selves. Making an overture of friendship to someone we would like to know better involves the risk of rejection. Saying no to a family member when a request conflicts with our program may make us feel guilty. Asking for help when we need it means admitting our weakness. Exposing our needs destroys our facade of self-sufficiency. To be vulnerable requires courage, but only as we are able to live without the defense of overeating are we able to grow emotionally and spiritually. When we stop turning to food to cover up our feelings and needs, we are able to be more open with other people. We are nourished by them and by the Higher Power who allays our fears and directs our new energies. May I not fear being vulnerable. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PAIN AND PRETENDING "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." Friedrich Nietzsche I love to walk in the woods. The silent serenity of shadowed sunlight; the soft bounce of scattered needles under my feet; and the cool, clear air breathe peace into my soul. I’ve long been fascinated by “nurse logs” – those aged, fallen pines who serve as fertile sustenance for younger, healthy trees. When I look back at my life I see so much death. I see wasted years of hiding, lying, pretending -- years of wrapping myself in my sickness. I have held my disease close to me. At first it seemed to bring safety, but I came to find that it was actually a death shroud. I wondered how any good could ever come from my years of pain. After entering Recovery and working the Program, I have come to see that Nothing Is Wasted. Every sorrow, every injury, and every failure have brought me to this fruitful forest of New Life. Had I never suffered, I would never have found the Serenity that comes from choosing Gratitude. Had my life been easy, I would not have the appreciation I have gained for each new day. No one values safety, peace, and growth quite so profoundly as do those who have lived without them for so very long. As I keep my mind, heart, and perspective focused on God, growth, and life, I find that my pain has become a nurse log; rich with all that is needed to bring life where once was only death. One day at a time . . . I will remember that nothing is wasted. I will choose to appreciate the pain and wisdom of the God-given nurse log which feeds me with hope and peace. Lisa V ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within. - Pg. 95 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote You have a monumental task ahead to set your world in order at the same moment that it has completely changed. Setting your world in order does not mean to 'fix' everybody around you and take care of their affairs. It means to improve and tend to yourself and your affairs. Do not confuse 'setting things in order' with controlling the world around you. I do not attempt to control what is clearly beyond my sphere. I let my Higher Power tend to the world around me. I affect change from within. Gathering Wisdom I am on a spiritual journey. And on this journey I am my own best pilot and my own best philosopher. No one knows me as I know me and no one can synthesize all of the information that I receive each day into a coherent picture of my life as well as I can. If I don't take charge of my journey, no one else will, no one else can. God has given me to me to take care of. I have been put in charge of my own self. I am the one who steers me through my day, who makes a myriad of tiny decisions that add up to a life. I am the eyes and ears behind each hour. I am the choice maker. My life is up to me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Opportunities are often disguised as problems and this is why we miss them. With the next problem you encounter, ask, 'What can I learn from this?' I watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book When you see 'CRAZY' coming, hurry up and cross the street! Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know I have the right be alive and happy and full of joy. Today I trust that I am where I'm supposed to be, and am moving in the right direction. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I know I've been spared from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. I know today that it's a miracle standing up here in front of you. I know it. - JoJo S. |
March 18
Daily Reflections REAL INDEPENDENCE The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 36 I start with a little willingness to trust God and He causes that willingness to grow. The more willingness I have, the more trust I gain, and the more trust I gain, the more willingness I have. My dependence on God grows as my trust in Him grows. Before I became willing, I depended on myself for all my needs and I was restricted by my incompleteness. Through my willingness to depend upon my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, all my needs are provided for by Someone Who knows me better than I know myself - even the needs I may not realize, as well as the ones yet to come, bring me to be myself and to help me fill the need in someone else that only I am meant to fill. There never will be another exactly like me. And that is real independence. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When alcoholics first come into A.A. and we face the fact that we must spend the rest of our life without liquor, it often seems like an impossibility for us. So A.A. tells us to forget about the future and take it one day at a time. All we really have is now. We have no past time and no future time. As the saying goes: "Yesterday is gone, forget it; tomorrow never comes, don't worry; today is here, get busy." All we have is the present. The past is gone forever and the future never comes. When tomorrow gets here, it will be today. Am I living one day at a time? Meditation For The Day Persistence is necessary if you are to advance in spiritual things. By persistent prayer, persistent firm and simple trust, you achieve the treasures of the spirit. By persistent practice, you can eventually obtain joy, peace, assurance, security, health, happiness and serenity. Nothing is too great, in the spiritual realm, for you to obtain, if you persistently prepare yourself for it. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may persistently carry out my spiritual exercises every day. I pray that I may strive for peace and serenity. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It R.S.V.P.--Yes or No?, p. 77 Usually, we do not avoid a place where there is drinking--if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, night clubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary parties. You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere?" Then go or stay away, whichever seems better. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. If you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 101-102 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Should everybody like me? Personal Relations. In AA discussions, the term "people pleasers" doesn't fare very well. When people say they are people-pleasers, they're acknowledging that it's also a problem It's a problem because it reflects a desire to have everybody's acceptance and approval…… to be universally liked. But from what we know about human relationships, this is not possible. No matter how hard we work to be pleasant and likable, some people may still detest us for reasons we cannot understand. When that happens, we should not blame ourselves or step up our efforts to them and to avoid giving offense in any way, while accepting the fact that they do not like us. If our own behavior is mature and reasonable, even the people who don't like us will at least respect us. That may be the best we can hope for , and it is certainly far better than shameless people pleasing. In the end, people-pleasers don't please anybody and, as a famous comedian notes about himself, they "get no respect." I'll try hard to be pleasant and cordial to everyone I meet today. If some people do not respond in the same way. I'll accept this without feeling hurt or betrayed. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Money cost to much.---Ross MacDonald Many people are poor and really need money to live better. But we're in trouble if we think money will solve all our problems. If money solved all problems, all rich people would be happy. Consider this: A man talks about his shortcomings in a Twelve Step meeting. He says his main shortcoming is to think being happy means having enough money. But then he says that he has over a million dollars! This man is lucky---not because he has money, but because he knows greed is a shortcoming. He knows he has a spiritual problem. He doesn't need money; he needs faith in a Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to really believe I'll be given what I need. This will free me to get on with life. Action for the Day: Today, I'll read over the promises of the program. They are found at the bottom of page 83 at the top of the page of page 84 in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression. --Dodie Smith Depression feeds on itself. With attention it worsens, but there are places for our attention. We can move our focus to a woman who is close by, a woman who is struggling to determine her direction in life. We can offer our ears. Or we can observe attentively, today, all the women, children, and men we see on the streets. When we notice their expressions, we realize they, too, may be suffering. Doing something for someone else will lessen our own problems, no matter what the cause. In fact, just doing something will lift our spirits. Depression becomes habitual, and habits, even those that are detrimental, are easy to hang onto. When we take an action, even a small one, we can note the change: Action that benefits another is guaranteed to benefit us as well. Depression does get worse with self-pitying attention; however, attention to ourselves that is nurturing has its place. We can pamper ourselves, but not pity ourselves. Pampering reflects approval, caring, self-respect; three attitudes inconsistent with depression. Even more than inconsistent, pampering and depression are incongruent. Depression must be coddled to maintain it. It's my choice to move beyond it at any moment. I can put something besides my problem at my center today and enjoy the results. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach. That was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin somewhere. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories FLOODED WITH FEELING - When a barrier to God collapsed, this self-described agnostic was at Step Three. I had my first drink in my senior year of high school. That first night, I slipped out of the window so my parents wouldn't hear me leave. There were four of us, and we only brought four bottles of home brew. I never made that mistake again! p. 369 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we say that we have "harmed" other people. What kinds of "harm" do people do one another, anyway? To define the word "harm" in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people. If our tempers are consistently bad, we arouse anger in others. If we lie or cheat, we deprive others not only of their worldly goods, but of their emotional security and peace of mind. We really issue them an invitation to become contemptuous and vengeful. If our sex conduct is selfish, we may excite jealousy, misery, and a strong desire to retaliate in kind. p. 80 ************************************************** ********* Today, God, help me know I am being guided into what's good about life, especially when I feel confused and without direction. Help me trust enough to wait until my mind and vision are clear and consistent. Help me know that clarity will come. --Melody Beattie "The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own." -- Disraeli I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship. -- Louisa May Alcott We can be whole persons, even if we are not physically healthy. --Bonnie Marie Tincher I am always willing to learn, however I do not always like to be taught. --Winston Churchill Faith and Love mixed with Works is so important for a person to not lose Hope. --Sprintin ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation HUMOR "Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life and the artistic impression thereof . . . The essence of humor is human kindliness." -- Stephen Leacock Humor for me is a key to balance. In the joke I am able to release some tension or frustration and cope with my disease of alcoholism. When I drank, I did not have a genuine sense of humor --- rather it was sarcasm, cruel "put-downs" or insane expressions of my manic personality. My fun was created at the expense of others. It was a form of violence. It kept people away from me and created a loneliness in my life. Today I seek to use humor as an expression of acceptance, tolerance, understanding and forgiveness. Humor is an aspect of my spiritual program. In humor I experience God. Give me the gift of humor that reflects the dignity and hope for us all. ************************************************** ********* In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalms 56:4 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. Psalms 57:1 Paul wrote, "I can do all things through [Christ] who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When God answers prayer, He gives us the right answer. Lord, my greatest strength comes when I trust in You. Have the strength to do what is right regardless of the consequences. Lord, show me Your way so that I may walk in Your truth. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Full Message "There is a special feeling for addicts when they discover that there are other people who share their difficulties, past and present." Basic Text p. 53 The wealth of our recovery is too good to keep to ourselves. Some of us believe that when we talk in meetings, we should "remember the newcomer" and always try to carry a positive message. But sometimes the most positive message we can carry is that we are going through difficult times in our recovery and are staying clean in spite of them! Yes, it's gratifying to send out a strong message of hope to our newer members. After all, no one likes a whiner. But distressing things happen, and life on life's terms can send shock waves even through the recovery of long-time members of Narcotics Anonymous. If we are equipped with the tools of the program, we can walk through such turmoil and stay clean to tell the tale. Recovery doesn't happen all at once; it is an ongoing process, sometimes a struggle. When we dilute the fullness of our message by neglecting to share about the tough times we may walk through on our journey, we fail to allow newcomers the chance to see that they, too, can stay clean, no matter what. If we share the full message of our recovery, we may not know who benefits, but we can be sure someone will. Just for today: I will honestly share both the good times and the difficult times of my recovery. I will remember that my experience in walking through adversity may benefit another member. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Tyger, Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night; What immortal hand or eye, Could frame thy fearful symmetry? Did He who made the Lamb make thee? --William Blake Is there a lamb and a tiger inside us? Is there any commandment, written on the sky or a stone tablet, denying us our perfect right to be both tiger and lamb? The tiger, beast made of fire and night, shows its teeth when it blazes with love; the lamb, orphan wrapped in soft blanket of cloud, weeps to receive that same love. So we give and take, are strong and weak, guilty and innocent, wrong and right. So we are balanced, even when we seem to be in conflict. When we learn to accept all the things we can be, we will be able to love all the ways the world outside us can be. What conflict is helping me grow today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Oh, that one could learn to learn in time! --Enrique Solari A mark of genuine change, after the pleasure of newfound growth, may be the regret a man feels that he didn't learn sooner. When we learn something new, we see how it could have made our life better at an earlier time. We regret being stubborn, immature, or impulsive. Now we see our mistakes in a new light and it hurts. This is one of the pains of change. Some people turn away from growth because they refuse to tolerate the pain of honest hindsight. We need to face these regrets, but not indulge in them. We take a bow to the past and move on to live in the only place we can - the present. We can acknowledge our guilt and remorse and then turn them over to the care of God. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it. Healthy recovery means an ever lighter load of regrets. Getting stuck in guilt over past deeds only repeats our mistakes by failing to use our learning today. May I acknowledge and let go of my griefs and regrets so I can attend to life here and now. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression. --Dodie Smith Depression feeds on itself. With attention it worsens, but there are places for our attention. We can move our focus to a woman who is close by, a woman who is struggling to determine her direction in life. We can offer our ears. Or we can observe attentively, today, all the women, children, and men we see on the streets. When we notice their expressions, we realize they, too, may be suffering. Doing something for someone else will lessen our own problems, no matter what the cause. In fact, just doing something will lift our spirits. Depression becomes habitual, and habits, even those that are detrimental, are easy to hang onto. When we take an action, even a small one, we can note the change: Action that benefits another is guaranteed to benefit us as well. Depression does get worse with self-pitying attention; however, attention to ourselves that is nurturing has its place. We can pamper ourselves, but not pity ourselves. Pampering reflects approval, caring, self-respect; three attitudes inconsistent with depression. Even more than inconsistent, pampering and depression are incongruent. Depression must be coddled to maintain it. It's my choice to move beyond it at any moment. I can put something besides my problem at my center today and enjoy the results. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Safety One of the long-term effects of living in a dysfunctional family - as children or adults - is that we don't feel safe. Much of what we call codependency happens because we don't feel safe in relationships. This can cause us to control, obsess, or focus on the other person, while neglecting ourselves or shutting down our feelings. We can learn to make ourselves feel safe and comfortable, as part of a nurturing, loving attitude toward ourselves. Often, we get a feeling of safety and comfort when we attend Twelve Step meetings or support groups. Being with a friend or doing something nice for ourselves helps us feel protected and loved. Sometimes, reaching out to another person helps us feel safe. Prayer and meditation help us affirm that our Higher Power cares for us. We are safe now. We can relax. Perhaps others haven't been there for us in a consistent, trustworthy way, but we are learning to be there for ourselves. Today, I will concentrate on making myself feel safe and comfortable. Today I will be part of the mainstream of life. I will share what I have when it can be useful, looking for opportunities to give to others the best of who I am. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Heart Connections I went into the office at the lodge where I stayed in Sedona. I turned in my room key, then pulled out my camera and took a picture of Marianne. We had only known each other for eight days, but I felt deeply connected to her. We had been through a series of experiences that would probably stay with me for life. They had changed my life. When we hugged and said good-bye, I told her not to cry– but she did anyway. So did I. “Call me whenever you want,” she said. “I’ll be there for you.” I knew what she meant. She didn’t mean for me to call her on the phone, although that was okay,too. She meant call her in my heart, call her to me in spirit. For a long time, our connections to people and places may have come from someplace other than our hearts. We may have been connected out of need, fear, unfinished business, or simply the unwillingness to leave– to know there was any other way to be connected. Or we may not have even felt particularly connected to the people around us. Now is a different time. It is time now to let your connections come from your heart. Open up. Listen. Does someone have something to say, maybe only a sentence or two, that’s just what you need to hear? As you’re going through your day, does someone come to mind, someone you think about getting in touch with? Don’t shrug off the things you know and sense. Be open to your inner voice. Do what it leads you to do. Love isn’t bound by time or space when our connections come from our heart. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Prayer helps “Sometimes I talk myself out of praying,” Sheila said. “I convince myself that it’s just more work, because even if I pray about something, I have to do all the work,too.” I sit down to write. The energy’s not there, but the deadline is. God, please help. I remember a joke I heard from someone, somewhere: “I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.” I write anyway, putting one word in front of another. Then, from out of nowhere, comes a string of words I didn’t plan on, a new idea, a fresh perspective, a story, complete with ending. Wow! Where’d that come from? An issue comes up in a relationship with a friend. He’s hurt and angry. His hurt and anger evoke more hurt and anger in me. I try to reason things out, listen to him, get him to see things my way. He feels justified. So do I. day after day, we work on the relationship. The strain continues. I don’t know what to do next. “God, please help me with this situation. Show me what to do next.” I keep talking to my friend. He keeps talking to me. Then one day, I feel less defensive and guilty. A new feeling surrounds the relationship. “I’m sorry,” I say one day. “So am I,” he says,too. Wow, I think. Where did that come from? I stand on the scale, glaring at the numbers. I want to lose ten pounds. I start eating less, exercising more. A few days later, I get on the scale again. Dang. Gained a pound. I continue to eat less; the numbers don’t move. God, please help me drop this weight. Why am I holding on to it? I continue to watch my caloric intake and pay attention to exercise. One morning I get on the scale. Wow! I’ve lost five pounds. How did that happen? Pray. let go. Then act as if you need to do all the work. Don’t plan on magic and miracles. But leave room for them,too. God, help me remember that when I run out of myself, I run right into you. ****************************************** In God’s Care The most exhausting thing in life…is being insincere. ~~Anne Morrow Lindbergh The time-worn statement “Honesty is the best policy” holds special meaning to those of us in the program. Being honest with ourselves and with others is paramount to our recovery. But it’s also important for us to define our honesty. Should we tell people that we don’t like them? Should we confess trangressions from past years if it hurts a loved one today? We each have to decide what honest means in different situations. Not acting or responding in accordance with our anxiety, particularly if we let that wisdome guide us in one instance and not the next. We’ll know a deeper level of serenity when we decide to be consistently honest and sincere with our companions. A moment’s pause to let our Higher Power guide us will help us decide the best response for each situation. I will seek God’s guidance as I learn to be more honest today. ****************************************** Detoxing Your Body Inner Spring Cleaning by Madisyn Taylor All of our bodies need to detox once in a while and is a wonderful gift to your body, mind and spirit. When you want to start with a clean slate in life, one way is to cleanse your body. Detoxifying can be done in many ways and for many reasons, depending on your specific goals. You may feel a physical need for cleansing, or a spiritual one where you would cleanse the areas of the body that correspond to your current life challenges. If you feel, for instance, that your inner self is not shining through as you would like, you may want to do a bathing detox to clean the skin of impurities so that you can radiate your inner health like a newly washed stained-glass window that lets the light shine through more brilliantly. No matter how healthy and conscious our habits are, our bodies move with the cycles of life, which means that our cells sometimes need to fall like leaves from the trees before they can regenerate and be renewed. Just as we need to wash our bodies to remove the buildup of natural processes and contact with the world around us, we need to clean our bodies from the inside as well. So you may want to detoxify your blood or digestive system, or target specific buildup such as plaque or metals. Our bodies are the vessels that allow us to move through life, but we can treat them like wild gardens that need our attention to reach their full potential of beauty and balance in their ecosystem. The first days of a detoxification process may bring to mind an image of the dust that gets stirred up during spring cleaning. You may feel a little worse before you feel better, but that may indeed be the universe’s way of showing us the benefits by contrast. We live in a world of dualities, so we may need to experience both sides of a situation in order to find our perfect balance. Once the impurities have been cleansed, you could experience a sense of lightness or clarity of vision and purpose. You will know it worked when you feel enhanced ease as you move through the world toward your goals. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day In the old days, we often had such devastating experiences that we fervently swore, “never again.” We were absolutely sincere in those moments of desperation. Yet, despite our intentions, the outcome was inevitably the same. Eventually, the memory of our suffering faded, as did the memory of our “pledge.” so we did it again, ending up in even worse shape than when we had last “sworn off,m” Forever turned out to be only a week, or a day or less. In The Program, we learn that we need only be concerned about today, this particular 24-hour period. Do I live my life just 24 hours at a time? Today I Pray May the long-term requirements of such phrases as “never again, ” “not on your life,” “forever,” “I’ll never take another..” not weaken my resolve. “Forever,” when it is broken down into single days — or even just parts of days — does not seem to impossible long. May I awake each day with my goal set realistically at just 24 hours. Today I Will Remember Twenty -four hours at a time. ****************************************** One More Day An ordinary man can surround himself with two thousand books … and thenceforward have at least one place in the world in which it is possible to be happy. – Augustine Birrell A flashlight. A winter storm. Secretly reading under the covers. As children, most of us escaped into books from time to time. Books were a private experience shared with no one. They could also be a warm family time of sharing. Books will provide a window to the world, to adventures and faraway places that few people ever experience firsthand. Regardless of physical ability — or disability — we can generally find a way to read or listen to a book. We can shed, for a short while, some of the frustrations we experience. We can forget the ravages of illness. We can travel. We can dream. Reading is a true gift which I can give myself. ************************************ Food For Thought A New World Being abstinent puts us into a new world. Instead of trying to cheat ourselves and get away with it, we learn to be straight with ourselves and others. Instead of escaping problems, we learn to face them honestly. Instead of despair, we feel self-respect and a developing self-confidence. As we get rid of our obsession with food, we get in touch with our feelings and abilities so that we are able to function calmly and efficiently. All of this does not happen overnight. We take the Twelve Steps under the guidance of a program sponsor. We work our program every day. We continue to use the telephone and go to meetings so that we may learn from other members. Above all, we maintain contact with our Higher Power, since it is by His grace that we have entered this new world. Thank You, Lord, for leading me to a new world. ***************************************** One Day At A Time EXAMPLE "Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another. It is the only means." Albert Einstein Program's philosophy dictates that we gain new members by attraction rather than promotion. We should be striving to become living embodiments of Program principles in order that we might attract and inspire those in need whom we may encounter in our daily lives - just as we were fortunate enough to find our way here because of the amazing effort, inspiration and example of the Program founders. Because of their blood, sweat and tears, Program has grown in leaps and bounds over the years . Now - its future growth rests with us. Are you prepared for this responsibility? One Day at a Time . . . I will diligently work the tools of my program and be a shining example of recovery to others. Rob R. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. - Pg. 17 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote At times we get sudden feelings of fear and apprehension. They seem to spring from nowhere. This is a common reaction to the chemicals leaving our body--it often is purely biological and nothing to be concerned with. Simply call a clean and sober friend. Let me know that not all fear and apprehension come from deep-seated traumas. Some are simply physical reactions to withdrawal. Lighting My Own Lamp I will learn to light my own lamp today. I will go within for the deepest sort of experience of joy, of ecstasy in being alive. I will get in touch with the deeper pulse of living - the thread that connects me with the divine experience. I will recognize that in order to be lit from within I need to drop down inside of myself and be in the presence of inner light. Life itself has a purpose apart from any individual task or stage. Life itself is the experience. All of the things I have been trying to accomplish are both inner and outer goals. They are meant to bring me closer to myself, to develop me in ways that allow me to experience life more fully - to be more capable of pleasure. Today I will give myself these gifts of inner sight. I will find and live from my own inner light. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote They say you need newcomers to tell you where you came from, old-timers to tell you where you could go, and a sponsor to tell you where you are at. The most important word in my Steps is the first one... 'WE'. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book The bigger the secret, the more dangerous. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will be part of the mainstream of life. I will share what I have when it can be useful, looking for opportunities to give to others the best of who I am. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote A smooth sea never made a good sailor. - Anon. |
March 19
Daily Reflections PRAYER: IT WORKS It has been well said that "almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 97 Having grown up in an agnostic household, I felt somewhat foolish when I first tried praying. I knew there was a Higher Power working in my life -- how else was I staying sober? -- but I certainly wasn't convinced he/she/it wanted to hear my prayers. People who had what I wanted said prayer was an important part of practicing the program, so I persevered. With a commitment to daily prayer, I was amazed to find myself becoming more serene and comfortable with my place in the world. In other words, life became easier and less of a struggle. I'm still not sure who, or what, listens to my prayers, but I'd never stop saying them for the simple reason that they work. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we were drinking, we used to be ashamed of the past. Remorse is terrible mental punishment: ashamed of ourselves for the things we've said and done, afraid to face people because of what they might think of us, afraid of the consequences of what we did when we were drunk. In A.A. we forget about the past. Do I believe that God has forgiven me for everything I've done in the past, no matter how black it was, provided I'm honestly trying to do the right thing today? Meditation For The Day God's spirit is all about you all day long. You have no thoughts, no plans, no impulses, no emotions, that He does not know about. You can hide nothing from Him. Do not make your conduct conform only to that of the world and do not depend on the approval or disapproval of others. God sees in secret, but He rewards openly. If you are in harmony with the Divine Spirit, doing your best to live the way you believe God wants you to live, you will be at peace. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may always feel God's presence. I pray that I may realize this Presence constantly all through the day. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Clearing A Channel, p. 78 During the day, we can pause where situations must be met and decisions made, and renew the simple request "Thy will, not mine, be done." If at these points our emotional disturbances happens to be great, we will more surely keep our balance provided we remember, and repeat to ourselves, a particular prayer or phrase that has appealed to us in our reading or meditation. Just saying it over and over will often enable us to clear a channel choked up with anger, fear, frustration, or misunderstanding, and permit us to return to the surest help of all--our search for God's will, not our own, in the moment of stress. 12 & 12, pp. 102-103 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Where is God? Guidance. AA members have always had a difficult time explaining the "God business". We didn't want to be considered religious, but at the same time we've always believed some contact with a Higher Power is necessary for real personal growth. There's nothing wrong… for our purposes… in simply visualizing God as a Higher Power that has always been within us and around us. "Before they call, I will answer," goes an old saying, and that was true even in our darkest days. Many of us also believe that a higher power helped bring AA into being and move it along to become a worldwide force for good. But God works in ways that can seem to come from change or coincidence. Quite often, we'll find that little events had far-reaching results in our lives. When we review how such things happened, we should not conclude that this happens only to certain "special" people. All human beings are part of God's creation and can avail themselves of guidance and direction. The more serious problem is that guidance and direction are sometimes ignored or rejected. I'll go about my affairs today with the knowledge that my Higher Power is making the important decisions in my life. I'll come out about where God wants me to be. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. Lawrence J. Peter When we used alcohol or other drugs, most of us were hotheads. We thought we were right. If we were proven wrong, we may have made life hell for everyone. People knew enough to stay away from us. In recovery, things will still go badly at times. We'll get hurt. And we'll get angry. But now, we turn our anger to our Higher Power. In our groups, we talk about what makes us angry. Then we leave the anger behind when the meeting is over. We find that being at peace is now more important than getting even. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, when I'm angry, help me slow down, Help me remember it's okay to be angry, but its not okay to abuse people. Action for the Day: I will remember a time when I turned anger, into rage and hurt someone. I will also remember a time I was angry in a respectful way. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I realized a long time ago that a belief which does not spring from a conviction in the emotions is no belief at all. --Evelyn Scott >From pillar to post we bounced, most of us not knowing what we actually believed about nearly any situation before getting to this program. Perhaps we believed what was most convenient at the time because of the people we were with. And maybe we jumped the fence quickly when in a new setting. Values were sometimes talked about but not defined, and certainly not adhered to. It's difficult to develop a strong sense of self, to have a very secure self-image when the parameters offered by a value system are lacking. Our values define who we are. They offer us direction when making choices. They quietly demand that we behave responsibly. Living in concert with our values brings peace to our souls. Gone are the days when we rode first one fence and then another, never knowing what side of any issue we honestly believed in. The program has offered us a plan for living, a plan that erases the many uncertainties, the inner turmoil of past years. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.* * Please be sure to read Appendix II on "Spiritual Experience." p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories FLOODED WITH FEELING - When a barrier to God collapsed, this self-described agnostic was at Step Three. The next week, a bunch of us went camping, and we brought cases of beer. We finished it all. The others drank a lot too, but I was the one who woke up in the middle of the night and started wandering around the countryside by the light of the moon. I was the one who walked for miles searching for something. I know now what I was looking for. Unlike the rest of them, I wanted another drink. p. 369 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Such gross misbehavior is not by any means a full catalogue of the harms we do. Let us think of some of the subtler ones which can sometimes be quite as damaging. Suppose that in our family lives we happen to be miserly, irresponsible, callous, or cold. Suppose that we are irritable, critical, impatient, and humorless. Suppose we lavish attention upon one member of the family and neglect the others. What happens when we try to dominate the whole family, either by a rule of iron or by a constant outpouring of minute directions for just how their lives should be lived from hour to hour? What happens when we wallow in depression, self-pity oozing from every pore, and inflict that upon those about us? Such a roster of harms done others--the kind that make daily living with us as practicing alcoholics difficult and often unbearable could be extended almost indefinitely. When we take such personality traits as these into shop, office, and the society of our fellows, they can do damage almost as extensive as that we have caused at home. p. 81 ************************************************** ********* "All of us, at certain moments of our lives, need to take advice and to receive help from other people." -Alexis Carrel, Reflections on Life Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. --Helen Keller "If you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself." --Fyodor Dostoyevsky "A closed mouth gathers no feet." --Anon. We cannot think our way into sober living. We live our way into sober thinking. We in AA don't carry the alcoholic; we carry the message. Listening feeds the spirit. When I am too busy to pray - I am just too busy. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation MADNESS "Sanity is madness put to good use." -- George Santayana I heard the phrase "make the disease work for you". It made a great deal of sense to me and still does. I am a recovering alcoholic. My alcoholism is still within me and every day I take the necessary steps to stay sober. My disease is that "mad" part of me that wants to destroy my life, relationships and understanding of God. What I need to do is accept my "madness" and turn it around so that it works for me. My suffering is the key to my spiritual growth. My anger and manipulation helps me to understand the imperfections of others. My powerlessness over alcohol give me an understanding of humility that is based on reality. The acceptance of my "madness" keeps me sane! O God, give me the sanity to accept my imperfections so that I can grow into the "best" that I can be. ************************************************** ********* "From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalms 61:2 Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalms 141:3 Jesus said, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. John 14:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When you meet God in prayer, everything becomes new. Lord, may I be humbly joyful in my faith. Take less for granted and you will become very busy enjoying all that you have. Lord, thank you for my blessings and for all those that I am able to share them with. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Something Valuable To Share "A simple, honest message of recovery from addiction rings true." Basic Text p. 50 You're in a meeting. The sharing has been going on for some time. One or two members have described their spiritual experiences in an especially meaningful way. Another has had us all rolling in the aisles with entertaining stories. And then the leader calls on you.., gulp. You shyly introduce yourself, apologetically stammer out a few lines, thank everyone for listening, and sit out the rest of the meeting in embarrassed silence. Sound familiar? Well, you're not alone. We've all had times when we've felt that what we had to share wasn't spiritual enough, wasn't entertaining enough, wasn't something enough. But sharing is not a competitive sport. The meat of our meetings is identification and experience, something all of us have in abundance. When we share from our hearts the truth of our experience, other addicts feel they can trust us because they know we're just like them. When we simply share what's been effective in our lives, we can be sure that our message will be helpful to others. Our sharing doesn't have to be either fancy or funny to ring true. Every addict working an honest program that brings meaningful recovery has something of immense value to share, something no one else can give: his or her own experience. Just for today: I have something valuable to share. I will attend a meeting today and share my experience in recovery from addiction. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Where is the yesterday that worried us so? --Joan Walsh Anglund In the fairy tale The Last Dream of the Old Oak Tree, the oak tree felt sorry for the day-fly. The day-fly only lives for one day, and the tree was already 365 years old. But the day-fly was so enjoying his one day that the tree's sympathy puzzled him. The day-fly said to the tree, "You may have thousands of my days, but I have thousands of moments to be pleased and happy in." And so the day-fly continued to dance in the sun and smell the clover and honeysuckle. His day ended as happily as he spent it, and he settled down on a blade of grass. If all of us could approach our day the way the day-fly does, as though this were our only day, we would spend less time worrying about yesterday and tomorrow. How can I show my gratitude for the gift of this day? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There seemed not to be another living thing in all the world. There was something of bliss in this stillness, and something ominous too. It was the kind of stillness that beckons us to turn inward, toward the beginnings of our existence. --Paul Gruchow We cannot create profound stillness. We can allow it. We can move into it. We can receive it. Many of us have been frightened by such a stillness because we are not familiar with the spiritual moment. We felt moved, awestruck, and we may have run to escape that inward moment. Some men are endlessly busy just keeping the stillness at a comfortable distance. Many recovering men have unwittingly thrown themselves into a workaholic life because they were frightened by their emerging spirits. We can change this pattern by allowing ourselves a little quiet at a time. At first, it may be just a few minutes alone. We may be more able to meet the stillness outdoors, or we can learn to be still in the presence of someone else. The stillness is a moment of meditation. It is contact with God. God, give me the courage to allow spiritual experiences to be part of my life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I realized a long time ago that a belief which does not spring from a conviction in the emotions is no belief at all. --Evelyn Scott >From pillar to post we bounced, most of us not knowing what we actually believed about nearly any situation before getting to this program. Perhaps we believed what was most convenient at the time because of the people we were with. And maybe we jumped the fence quickly when in a new setting. Values were sometimes talked about but not defined, and certainly not adhered to. It's difficult to develop a strong sense of self, to have a very secure self-image when the parameters offered by a value system are lacking. Our values define who we are. They offer us direction when making choices. They quietly demand that we behave responsibly. Living in concert with our values brings peace to our souls. Gone are the days when we rode first one fence and then another, never knowing what side of any issue we honestly believed in. The program has offered us a plan for living, a plan that erases the many uncertainties, the inner turmoil of past years. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Staying Out of the Middle I don't want to get in the middle, but . . . is a sign that we may have just stepped into the middle. We do not have to get caught in the middle of other peoples issues, problems, or communication. We can let others take responsibility for themselves in their relationships. We can let them work out their issues with each other. Being a peacemaker does not mean we get in the middle. We are bearers of peace by staying peaceful ourselves and not harboring turmoil. We are peacemakers by not causing the extra chaos created when we get in the middle of other peoples affairs and relationships. Don't get in the middle unless you want to be there. Today, I will refuse to accept any invitations to jump in the middle of others affairs, issues, and relationships. I will trust others to work out their own affairs, including the ideas and feelings they want to communicate to each other. Today will have a clarity about it that I can appreciate. I know who I am. I know what I believe. All I need do is act accordingly. Today I dare to openly express my needs and find healthy ways to get them met. I like feeling good today. I like myself today. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Learn to Heal Yourself Sometimes we trick ourselves. If we feel unhappy, troubled, or scared, we race toward what we think will make us feel better. In desperation, in fear, we grasp for something, anything to stop our pain. Finding that job. Making more money. Getting married. Having a relationship. If I get that one thing I need, then I’ll be happy. Then my pain will stop. Sometimes it’s true that finding the solution to a problem improves the quality of our lives. Having enough money enables us to fix the furnace when it breaks. Having people in our lives we love and who love us can be an important part of our happiness. Having work to do that we enjoy and that we feel is worthwhile helps us feel good about ourselves. But when we’re in pain– no matter what’s causing it– the way to heal that pain doesn’t come from outside of ourselves. External circumstances don’t make internal emotions disappear. Even if we get what we think we want, the painful emotion we haven’t had the strength or courage to face will still be there. The way to heal pain, the only way, is to feel and release it. Your pain is your pain. Your fear, desperation, and resentments are yours, too. All these emotions belong to you. Feel them, learn from them, and let them go. Walk courageously each step of the path on the journey to the heart. Emjoy when the universe sends you its gifts– a lover, some money, a good job. But know the ultimate key to happiness lies not in external things, but within you. Feel all your feelings. Learn to heal yourself. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Lighten up The matter at hand is serious. It’s grave. We need to get serious about the relationship. We need to get serious about the task. Maybe what we really need to do is learn to lighten up. Nations rise and fall, heroes are born and die, the sun rises and sets, and you want me to take seriously the notion that arriving to church wearing the right clothes is going to make any difference at all. What matters is what’s in our hearts. “The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly,” G.K. Chesterton once wrote. Once you stop taking yourself so seriously and let go of the gravity of all that you do, you can learn to fly,too. God, help me lighten up. ****************************************** Working with Space Intuit Your Home’s Decor by Madisyn Taylor When decorating spaces in your home, allow the space to speak to you by being still and observing each room. When we decide the time has come to change the look or feel of our personal spaces, it is the spaces themselves that can provide us with the most useful guidance. Working with a single room, an apartment, or an entire house allows us to unearth the innate potential of these spaces and also better understand how we want to relate to them. To be conscious of the possibilities of a space, we need to listen to, look at, and bond with that space in a deep and personal way. Just as no two people are alike, no two rooms, however similar, are identical. The more we know about the spaces we wish to change, the better equipped we are to make them both beautiful and functional. Before you contemplate colors and layouts, spend some time in the rooms you plan to modify. Observe the way light moves through each space at different times of day. In the course of a week or so, note those times when you feel drawn to a particular space. You may naturally gravitate toward one room when you want to relax and toward another when you want to socialize. Also, remember that not all rooms have to be used as originally planed, for example a dining room may make a wonderful sitting area. As you make these observations, think about whether the spaces under consideration remind you of anything or bring certain thoughts to mind. Writing your thoughts down can make the process of examination simpler. The discoveries you make regarding the rooms in your home can help guide you as you choose color schemes, furniture layouts, and decorative styles, so that you bring out the natural qualities of each using your creativity and eye for detail. Using the cues you pick up, yo! u can design a beautiful room that is bright and exciting, or one that calms the soul and invites meditation. By treating the layout and décor of your personal spaces in this mindful way, you can honor their natural rhythms while creating a cohesive and comfortable home through which energy can flow unencumbered. The design elements you subsequently choose will work together like the diverse instruments that come together to form a symphony orchestra. Each will resonate harmoniously with the next, ensuring that your home resounds with a lasting message of beauty, serenity, reassurance, and comfort. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I know today that “stopping in fo9r a drink” will never again be — for me — simply killing a few minutes and leaving a luck on the air. In exchange for the first drink, what I’d plunk down now would be my bank account, my family, our home, or car, my job, my sanity, and probably my life. It’s too big a price, and too great a risk. Do you remember your last drunk? Today I Pray May I be strong in the knowledge that God’s spirit is with me at all times. May I learn to feel His presence. May I know that nothing is hidden from Him. Unlike the world which approves or disapproves of my outward behavior, God sees all that I do, think or feel. If I seek to do His will, I can always count on His reward for me — peace of mind. Today I Will Remember God Knows all. ****************************************** One More Day Faith is a holy cause is to a considerable extent a substitute for the lost faith in ourselves. – Eric Hoffer Busy! Busy! Busy! We might feel as though we’re living our lives on a treadmill — always on the go, helping, and giving our time to people and causes. Service and volunteerism can be wonderful ways to help, but only if they augment an already full life. We truly are living on a treadmill if our involvement is an escape from facing our inner-most thought and fears. We are getting nowhere if our outside activities are all we have to wake up for each morning. We begin to change when we honestly face our greatest fears. We can search our personalities to find our vulnerable points and then strive to correct what defects we can. It is then that we regain faith in ourselves and in our abilities. Once I regain faith in myself I can open my heart to help others. ************************************ Food For Thought Strength In the past, we relied on our own strength to get us where we thought we wanted to go. We were afraid, since deep down we knew how weak and undependable our own strength really was. When we turn our lives over, we no longer have to go it alone. We have tapped the limitless reservoir of strength provided by our Higher Power, and when we are operating under His guidance we feel confident. What we could not do ourselves can be done when we admit our weakness and ask for help. Through working the OA program and through closer contact with our Higher Power, we may find that we are going in a new direction. The things we thought we wanted may turn out to be unnecessary, and we may have new goals. Wherever our journey leads, we will have the strength we need, since it does not come from ourselves but from a Power greater than ourselves. I need Your strength, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Commitment Shallow men believe in luck ~ Strong men believe in cause and effect. Ralph Waldo Emerson Abstinence did not happen for me until I made a commitment to it. I realized that I would have abstinence until something was a bit too uncomfortable for me to face or feel. Then I would have a slip. So it became a game for me. Was this event or circumstance enough to justify another slip? Sure, why not? That's the nature of the disease. Everything and anything was an excuse to eat. It wasn't until I made a commitment to abstinence that I was forced to find my solutions in the Twelve Steps and really let go of my addiction. I'm grateful to my Higher Power that I hit the bottom I did. By accepting the truth about myself and my food addiction, I am now free to live in the solution. One Day at a Time . . . I will renew my commitment by receiving the gift of abstinence and practicing my program to the best of my ability. Christine S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet. - Pg. 31 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Nothing comes easy for us right now. A lot of energy goes into just staying put and accepting this new way of life. We say that when the going gets tough, we hang tough! We know that it will pass, we make that promise to you. But it will be in God's time, not yours. Let me believe in myself, in this program, and in You, my Spiritual Source. Looking Toward What is Good I am a creative being. I have the power of reason, the ability to think, hope and dream. I can envision my life not only as it is, but as I might wish it to be. I can then think through the steps I might need to become more of who I am. I have the power to think my way into a happy point of view, to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. My mind can be my greatest enemy or my greatest ally. It depends on how I choose to use it. I hold a beautiful vision of life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Grateful addicts don't drink and drug and drinking and drugging addicts aren't grateful. My gratitude is not the word but my desire to say the word. My desire to say the word is a corner stone of my recovery. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Is it odd or is it God? Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I dare to openly express my needs and find healthy ways to get them met. I like feeling good today. I like myself today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote My sponsor says 'Mark the places where you find God and go there often.' AA meetings are a place where I find God - I think that the power of God is in the group. - Chris C. |
March 20
Daily Reflections LOVE AND TOLERANCE Love and tolerance of others in our code. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 I have found that I have to forgive others in all situations to maintain any real spiritual progress. The vital importance of forgiving may not be obvious to me at first sight, but my studies tell me that every great spiritual teacher has insisted strongly upon it. I must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter of form, but in my heart. I do this not for the other persons' sake, but for my own sake. Resentment, anger, or a desire to see someone punished, are things that rot my soul. Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other problems that have nothing to do with my original problem. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we were drinking, we used to worry about the future. Worry is terrible mental punishment. What's going to become of me? Where will I end up? In the gutter or the sanitarium? We can see ourselves slipping, getting worse and worse, and we wonder what the finish will be. Sometimes we get so discouraged in thinking about the future that we toy with the idea of suicide. In A.A. have I stopped worrying about the future? Meditation For The Day Functioning on a material plane alone takes me away from God. I must also try to function on a spiritual plane. Functioning on a spiritual plane as well as on a material plane will make life what it should be. All material activities are valueless in themselves alone. But all activities, seemingly trivial or of seemingly great moment, are all alike if directed by God's guidance. I must try to obey God as I would expect a faithful, willing servant to carry out directions. Prayer For The Day I pray that the flow of God's spirit may come to me through many channels. I pray that I may function on a spiritual plane as well as on a material plane. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Whose Responsibility?, p. 79 "An A.A. group, as such, cannot take on all the personal problems of its members, let alone those of nonalcoholics in the world around us. The A.A. group is not, for example, a mediator of domestic relations, nor does it furnish personal financial aid to anyone. "Though a member may sometimes be helped in such matters by his friends in A.A., the primary responsibility for the solutions of all his problems of living and growing rests squarely upon the individual himself. Should an A.A. group attempt this sort of help, its effectiveness and energies would be hopelessly dissipated. "This is why sobriety--freedom from alcohol--through the teaching and practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, is the sole purpose of the group. If we don't stick to this cardinal principle, we shall almost certainly collapse. And if we collapse we cannot help anyone." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Think, Think, Think Prudence. It's hard to believe, but some AA members insist that newcomers shouldn't think. "Whoever said you should think?" some members are told. The newcomer is apparently supposed to suspend all thinking for several months until reaching a certain level of recovery. This is nonsense, and it also contradicts AA teaching. If we don't want people to use their heads, why do we have printed cards on meeting room walls that say, "Think, Think, Think"? We are always capable of thinking, even in moments of deep despair. Indeed, we could not keep from thinking. A constructive approach to thinking is to form complete sentences from the slogan on the wall: THINK what might happen if I take one drink. THINK of the wonderful new life that awaits me in sobriety. THINK about ways of improving myself and following a more satisfactory lifestyle. It's also important to remember that good thinking will drive out bad thinking…. But good thinking has to be cultivated. I'll keep my thinking centered today on the good things that can be done in life. I'll focus my attention only on matters that are under my control, and I know that better thinking will bring better conditions. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you. ---Dale Carnegie We wanted friends, but our addiction wanted all our attention. We had no time to be close to others. Well, stand aside, addiction! The program has taught us that others are important. Our purpose is to help others. People have become what’s important to us. Now we listen to others. We help them do what they want to do, not what we want them to do. We help people instead of use them. Friendship is now a way of life. And another promise of the program becomes a part of us. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to know that I’m here to help others, not just myself. Through others, I find myself. Today’s’ Action: Today I’ll help someone the way he or she wants to be helped. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning There's a period of life where we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. --Pearl Bailey For too many of us, feelings of shame, even self-hatred, are paramount. No one of us has a fully untarnished past. Every man, every woman, even every child experiences regret over some action. We are not perfect. Perfection is not expected in the Divine plan. But we are expected to take our experiences and grow from them, to move beyond the shame of them, to celebrate what they have taught us. Each day offers us a fresh start at assimilating all that we have been. What has gone before enriches who we are now, and through the many experiences we've survived, we have been prepared to help others, to smooth the way for another woman, perhaps, who is searching for a new direction. We can let go of our shame and know instead that it sweetens the nuggets of the wisdom we can offer to others. We are alike. We are not without faults. Our trials help another to smoother sailing. I will relish the joy at hand. I can share my wisdom. All painful pasts brighten someone's future, when openly shared. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS That was great news to us, for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe. When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, “I wish I had what that man has. I’m sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes. But I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him.” So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level. p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories FLOODED WITH FEELING - When a barrier to God collapsed, this self-described agnostic was at Step Three. I had a great time that summer between high school and college. It revolved around drinking; drinking and football, drinking and hunting, drinking and playing pool, drinking and driving. Nothing really bad happened, but it could have. I nearly got arrested. A friend just missed being shot. The car I was riding in stopped just before it crashed. pp. 369-370 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Having carefully surveyed this whole area of human relations, and having decided exactly what personality traits in us injured and disturbed others, we can now commence to ransack memory for the people to whom we have given offense. To put a finger on the nearby and most deeply damaged ones shouldn't be hard to do. Then, as year by year we walk back through our lives as far as memory will reach, we shall be bound to construct a long list of people who have, to some extent or other, been affected. We should, of course, ponder and weigh each instance carefully. We shall want to hold ourselves to the course of admitting the things we have done, meanwhile forgiving the wrongs done us, real or fancied. We should avoid extreme judgments, both of ourselves and of others involved. We must not exaggerate our defects or theirs. A quiet, objective view will be our steadfast aim. pp. 81- 82 ************************************************** ********* "There is only one small letter between the words CAN and CAN'T...and that one letter will TOTALLY change your destiny." -–Doug Firebaugh Happiness is intrinsic, it's an internal thing. When you build it into yourself, no external circumstances can take it away. That kind of happiness is a twenty-four-hour thing. --Leo F. Buscaglia God, if I can't see the joy in life, help me look again. --Melody Beattie Now and then I like to lift my eyes up from the details of daily life and remember the bigger picture, and take a breath of God, and feel and remember that ultimately, it's all okay. --Dan Millman God wants us to give from the heart when we see a need. --Nancy Shelton ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation APATHY "Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all --- the apathy of human beings." -- Helen Keller I read today of a woman who ate herself to death. Friends and family when interviewed said, "She simply didn't seem to care." She had stuffed her feelings for so long that she had forgotten what they were; she had lost her spirituality. Apathy kills people. So long as people do nothing, the disease of addiction gets worse and more victims are claimed. Apathy feeds ignorance because it stops activity; apathy stops life. The antidote for apathy is spirituality. The spiritual person is alive with positive attitudes and creative hope --- he is infectious. People are challenged to discover a meaning to life in their own lives. Hope produces recovery; recovery produces a message that must be shared; in the message is the miracle of life. I pray that in the face of apathy I can discover hope. ************************************************** ********* "He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be greatly moved." Psalms 62:2 "For we walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7 When you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets. Matthew 6:2 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To run the life's race successfully we must run toward life, not away from it. Lord, bless me with the courage to meet my challenges as they happen and never allow fear to set up roadblocks. No one can live for himself alone for then he will have no purpose in life. To give of self is one of life's greatest joys and blesses us with a full and rich life. Lord, help me to be selfless and loving to those around me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Higher Power "Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point, we realized that we needed the help of some Power greater than our addiction." Basic Text p. 24 Most of us know without a doubt that our lives have been filled with destruction. Learning that we have a disease called addiction helps us understand the source or cause of this destruction. We can recognize addiction as a power that has worked devastation in our lives. When we take the First Step, we admit that the destructive force of addiction is bigger than we are. We are powerless over it. At this point, our only hope is to find some Power greater than the force of our addiction—a Power bent on preserving life, not ending it. We don't have to understand it or even name it; we only have to believe that there could be such a Higher Power. The belief that a benevolent Power greater than our addiction just might exist gives us enough hope to stay clean, a day at a time. Just for today: I believe in the possibility of some Power that's bigger than my addiction. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. --Katherine Mansfield Growing up to be the best people we can be is a lifelong process. As teenagers, we may have thought that twenty-one would be a magic year for us because then we would become adults. We'd be grown up and able to handle any problems that came along, if any did. But the older we get, the more we realize that growing up is a process that never ends. We are always becoming the people we are capable of being. We're always learning new things about ourselves, and in that process, we're always coming to new understandings about other people and how we can get along with them. How wonderful that life always offers us room to grow! It makes new discoveries possible all through our lives, and ensures us that we will always have something to offer. What discovery have I made just today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. New life comes from shedding old skins and pressing through the darkness toward the light. Spring is the season of new beginnings and of growth. --Karen Kaiser Clark All of us in this program have had great turning points in our lives. In these new beginnings we have pressed onward or groped through the darkness, hoping to find the light, much like a new sprout arising from the cold soil in spring. Our recovery has pointed us toward the light. As spiritually alive men, we also have smaller beginnings all the time. Spring exists for us on the inside regardless of the time of year. On this particular day, we can think about the changes we see growing in our lives. It may be unclear to some of us just what is changing or how. We may not be able to name the change or describe it until it's in the past. Springtime brings a feeling of liberation, and our growth in this program frees us from muddled thinking, denial, addictions, and codependency. I am thankful for new beginnings in the world and the eternal spring within my being. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There's a period of life where we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside. --Pearl Bailey For too many of us, feelings of shame, even self-hatred, are paramount. No one of us has a fully untarnished past. Every man, every woman, even every child experiences regret over some action. We are not perfect. Perfection is not expected in the Divine plan. But we are expected to take our experiences and grow from them, to move beyond the shame of them, to celebrate what they have taught us. Each day offers us a fresh start at assimilating all that we have been. What has gone before enriches who we are now, and through the many experiences we've survived, we have been prepared to help others, to smooth the way for another woman, perhaps, who is searching for a new direction. We can let go of our shame and know instead that it sweetens the nuggets of the wisdom we can offer to others. We are alike. We are not without faults. Our trials help another to smoother sailing. I will relish the joy at hand. I can share my wisdom. All painful pasts brighten someone's future, when openly shared. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Releasing Let fears slip away. Release any negative, limiting, or self-defeating beliefs buried in your subconscious too. These beliefs may be about life, love, or yourself. Beliefs create reality. Let go. From as deep within as your fears, resentments, and negative beliefs are stored, let them all go. Let the belief or feeling surface. Accept it; surrender to it. Feel the discomfort or unrest. Then let it go. Let new beliefs replace the old. Let peace and joy and love replace fear. Give yourself and your body permission to let go of fears, resentments, and negative beliefs. Release that which is no longer useful. Trust that you are being healed and prepared for receiving what is good. Today, God, help me become willing to let go of old beliefs and feelings that may be hurting me. Gently take them from me and replace them with new beliefs and feelings. I do deserve the best life and love has to offer. Help me believe that. I am becoming more open to look within me today for my solutions. I trust that I will find the right answers if I go quietly within and follow my inner guide. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Learn to Heal Yourself Sometimes we trick ourselves. If we feel unhappy, troubled, or scared, we race toward what we think will make us feel better. In desperation, in fear, we grasp for something, anything to stop our pain. Finding that job. Making more money. Getting married. Having a relationship. If I get that one thing I need, then I’ll be happy. Then my pain will stop. Sometimes it’s true that finding the solution to a problem improves the quality of our lives. Having enough money enables us to fix the furnace when it breaks. Having people in our lives we love and who love us can be an important part of our happiness. Having work to do that we enjoy and that we feel is worthwhile helps us feel good about ourselves. But when we’re in pain– no matter what’s causing it– the way to heal that pain doesn’t come from outside of ourselves. External circumstances don’t make internal emotions disappear. Even if we get what we think we want, the painful emotion we haven’t had the strength or courage to face will still be there. The way to heal pain, the only way, is to feel and release it. Your pain is your pain. Your fear, desperation, and resentments are yours, too. All these emotions belong to you. Feel them, learn from them, and let them go. Walk courageously each step of the path on the journey to the heart. Emjoy when the universe sends you its gifts– a lover, some money, a good job. But know the ultimate key to happiness lies not in external things, but within you. Feel all your feelings. Learn to heal yourself. ****************************************** More Language of Letting Go Let go of what others think We had gone for a walk in the snow down into the bowl of Bryce Canyon in Utah earlier that day. After a quick shower in the hotel room, we headed down to the restaurant for dinner. Our boots were soaked from the snow, so we wore our flip-flops to the restaurant. The hostess was the first to notice. "Hey, you've got the wrong shoes on!" she admonished. "There's snow outside!" "Yeah, I know. We're from California," Chip replied. "Humph," the hostess sniffed, as she showed us our table. When our server approached our table, the hostess was right there again, quick to point out our inappropriate footwear to him. We tried to explain that we had been hiking and our boots were wet, but it only set her off more. "I certainly hope you didn't wear those," she said. "There's snow on the trails." Then she trotted back to her station. Our server didn't care. He listened to the story about our hike, told us one of his own, and kept our glasses full. Later during the meal, the hostess guided another couple past our table and pointed at our feet. "Look at these people," she said. "They're from California and they're wearing the wrong shoes!" We giggled all through dinner that night, all because our hiking boots got soaked. Sometimes what's appropriate for a situation just doesn't work for you and you're forced to improvise. Wear the wrong shoes if you must, but don't miss the party because of what someone else might think. God, help me remember that the important thing is how I live, not how I look. ****************************************** A Separate Reality Disconnecting from the Source by Madisyn Taylor We can all experience times when we feel disconnected from the universe, but you have never been abandoned. We all experience periods where we feel separated from the loving ebb and flow of the universe. These times of feeling disconnected from the source may occur for many reasons, but self-sabotage is the most common cause for us choosing to cut ourselves off from the flow of the universe. We purposefully, though often unconsciously, cut ourselves off from this flow and from the embrace of humanity so we can avoid dealing with painful issues, shun the necessary steps for growth, or prevent the success that we are afraid of achieving from ever happening. When you choose to disconnect from the source, you block the flow of the universe’s energy from passing through you. You become like a sleepwalker who is not fully awake to life, and your hopes, plans, and dreams begin to appear as distant blurs on a faraway horizon. Universal support has never left you, but if you can remember that you became disconnected from source by choice, you can choose to reconnect. Reconnecting with the universe grounds you and is as easy as you making a concerted effort to become interested in the activities you love or responding to what nurtures or stimulates you. You may also want to make a list of the activities and kinds of experiences that touch your soul. Try to pinpoint the times when you have felt fully engaged and aware and ask yourself what you were doing. But one of the easiest ways to reconnect is simply by stating the intention of doing so. When you disconnect from the universe, your sense of purpose, creativity, and ability to be innovative are not as easy to access. You may also experience a deep and empty sense of longing or feel devoid of ideas or unworthy of love. It’s important, however, to recognize that being disconnected from the universe is never a permanent state, and it can be reversed any time you decide that you are ready to reconnect. When you are connected to the universe, all aspects of your being will feel alive as the flow of the universe pours through your being and into your life. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The longer I’m in The Program, the more important becomes the slogan “First Things First” I used to believe that my family came first, that my home life came first, that my job came first. But I know today, in the depths of my heart, that If I can’t stay sober I’ll have nothing. “First Things First.” to me, means that everything in my life depends on my sobriety. Am I grateful fo be sober today? Today I Pray May my first priority, the topmost item on my list of concerns, be my sobriety — maintaining it, learning to live comfortably with it, sharing the tools by which I maintain it. When other things crowd into my life and I am caught up in the busyness of living, may I still preserve that first -of-all goal — remaining free of chemicals. Today I Will Remember First Things First. ****************************************** One More Day Understanding human needs is half the job of meeting them. – Adiai Stevenson We may have needed constant reminding to do our chores when we were children. We expected to be told what to do. Today we are adults and are chronically ill, and we find ourselves giving reminders to the people around us. Now, however, the suggestions have to be extremely delicate and carefully given. We can gently guide the behavior of spouse, friends, parents, and children regarding our medical problems. Our comments can be honest and direct: “It would help me if your would let me try to do things for myself before offering me your help.” Or “Please sweep the floor.” Or “Would you put the towels into the dryer?” Those around us are not able to read our minds. We can lear to say “I need” or “I want.” Our needs will be met if we ask directly. Learn to ask for help is hard, but I can learn. ************************************ Food For Thought Peeling Off Layers As we work our program, we peel off layers of old, worn out thoughts and habits. OA gives us a place to share old hurts and fears so that we are able to get rid of them. Our OA friends accept us and give us the benefit of their experience. With their help, we are able to leave the old layers behind and move ahead. We never stop learning and growing. When we are ready to accept it, our Higher Power reveals just as much truth to us as we can assimilate. He directs our progress through the Steps of this program as we are prepared to take them. If we are sincere in our efforts, the right help will come when we need it. It may come through another member, a piece of literature, a new insight, or even a difficult experience. Peeling off and discarding worn out layers of ourselves is hard work and is often painful. But when we look back and see how we have grown, the satisfaction more than outweighs the pain. Guide me as I peel away and leave behind the useless thoughts and habits I have accumulated. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Maintenance "Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance." Kurt Vonnegut Jr. With the help of our Higher Power, sponsors, and fellow Program members we have completed the 12 Steps, studied the Big Book, hit regular meetings, worked the loops, given service, etc .... and finally were able to achieve abstinence and reach our recovery goals! Reaching our goals is one thing, but now we must maintain what we've struggled so hard to achieve. As COE's, we never truly lose our addiction for food. Relape is only a heartbeat away. Therefore, we must diligently strive to continue working the Program tools to guard this precious gift that we have earned. One Day at a Time . . . I will diligently maintain the recovery goals I have worked so long and hard to achieve. Rob R. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. - Pg. 73 - 74 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It seems insane that we have to be brought to our knees before we seek help, but for most of us that's the way it is. Whatever crisis got us here, we will eventually see as a blessing in disguise. Thank You Higher Power, of my understanding, for the crisis--the one that brought me to my knees, because it also bought me this hour of clean and sober time. Seeing Clearly Today I will use my mind to actually visualize what I want my life to look like. I will give myself the gift of seeing my life through this beautiful lens. My thoughts have a creative power, they reach out, shape and template my experience. What I see as true for me, can be true for me, if I am willing sustain my vision and do the work I need to do to get there. Today I will picture doors opening for me where there were none before. I will take my thoughts seriously. I'll decide on what I'd like to see manifest in my life and I will carry it in my mind's eye and take daily steps toward actualizing it. I will see it as if it is already a reality. Then I'll let it go again and again and again and allow the wisdom of the universe to bring those experiences and opportunities toward me that allow me to take the next right action. I have faith in my own vision - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection.' -Jules Henri Poincsre I question myself, 'Am I a nay sayer to all suggestions?' or equally destructive 'Am I a disciple of a God Squad, blindly following a hard and inflexible line of thought?' "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Honesty without kindness is cruel and kindness without honesty is co-dependence. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am becoming more open to look within me today for my solutions. I trust that I will find the right answers if I go quietly within and follow my inner guide. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's ironic; when I looked like an alcoholic I wasn't one. Now I am an alcoholic I don't look like one. - Anon. |
March 21
Daily Reflections MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING Fear... of economic insecurity will leave us. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economic circumstances improve, are two different things. When I was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused. I thought fear would leave me only when I started making money. However, another line from the Big Book jumped off the page one day when I was chewing on my financial difficulties: "For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded."(p. 127). I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee. I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears. Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit others. I've found that is what others valued all along. I try to remember that I no longer work for myself. I only get the use of the wealth God created, I never have "owned" it. My life's purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A. we forget about the future. We know from experience that as time goes on, the future takes care of itself. Everything works out well, as long as we stay sober. All we need to think about is today. When we get up in the morning and see the sun shining in the window, we thank God that He has given us another day to enjoy because we're sober. A day in which we may have a chance to help somebody. Do I know that this day is all I have and that with God's help I can stay sober today? Meditation For The Day All is fundamentally well. That does not mean that all is well on the surface of things. But it does mean that God's in His heaven and that He has a purpose for the world, which will eventually work out when enough human beings are willing to follow His way. "Wearing the world as a loose garment" means not to be upset by the surface wrongness of things, but to feel deeply secure in the fundamental goodness and purpose in the universe. Prayer For The Day I pray that God may be with me in my journey through the world. I pray that I may know that God is planning that journey. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Debits and Credits, p. 80 Following a gossip binge, we can well ask ourselves these questions: "Why did we say what we did? Were we only trying to be helpful and informative? Or were we not trying to feel superior by confessing the other fellow's sins? Or, because of fear and dislike, were we not really aiming to damage him?" This would be an honest attempt to examine ourselves, rather than the other fellow. << << << >> >> >> Inventory-taking is not always done in red ink. It's a poor day indeed when we haven't done something right. As a matter of fact, the waking hours are usually well filled with things that are constructive. Good intentions, good thoughts, and good acts are there for us to see. Even when we tried hard and failed, we may chalk that up as one of the greatest credits of all. 1. Grapevine, August 1961 2. 12 & 12, p. 93 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Living One Day at a Time Time management It's surprising that some alcoholics learn how to "live one day at a time" while drinking. It had to work that way, or their drinking life would have been even more intolerable. It was convenient to shut off thoughts of tomorrow if one had enough money to drink today. It was also convenient to blot out thoughts of yesterday, which only meant remorse. In sobriety, living one day at a time is an excellent way to focus our minds so we can pour our energies into the work at hand. In reviewing the wasted yesterdays, we can always find ways that we could have been more productive and effective. But we missed opportunities because we were still struggling with regrets or fearing what might happen in the future. It's never too late to change all that. We need neither regret the past nor fear the future. The AA secret is to make the best of today's challenges. It may mean just chipping away at a massive problem that seems insurmountable. Living just for today, we can do today's job well. I'll live comfortably and happily in the here and now. This means releasing the past and accepting the future as something I'll deal with at the proper time. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple With each sunrise, we start anew. ----Anonymous Like a tree, our life depends on new growth. There are many ways to bring new ideas and growth into our lives. We can attend Twelve Step retreats. We can study books and tapes on spirituality. We can attend different Twelve Step meetings. But our spiritual newness may not just come from the Twelve Steps. We can do volunteer work or be active in other types of groups. We need to invite new ideas into our lives. We need to stay open to change. It doesn’t matter what renews our spiritual growth. What matters is that we keep our spiritual lives fresh and growing. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, spring is one of the four seasons. Help me feel like spring. Help me to be strong but not stuck Help me be firm yet open to spiritual growth. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll try to do something new. When I get stuck or stubborn, I’ll see that it’s due to my fear of trying new ideas. ************************************************** ********* Each Day A New Beginning Children are surely one of God's greatest gifts and truest challenges. To share your life with a child is to humble yourself so that you may learn from them and discover with them the beautiful secrets that are only uncovered in searching. --Kathleen Tierney Crilly Humility accompanies every experience wherein we let ourselves fully listen to others, to learn from them, to be changed by their words, their presence. Each opportunity we take to be fully present to another person, totally with them in mind and spirit, will bless us while it blesses them. Offering and receiving the gift of genuine attention is basic to the emotional growth of every human being. Before recovering, many of us so suffered from obsessive self-centered pity that we seldom noted the real needs or pain of the people close to us. We closed ourselves off, wallowing in our own selfish worries, and our growth was stunted. Some days we still wallow. But a new day has dawned. The Steps offer us new understanding. They are helping us look beyond ourselves to all the "children of God" in our daily lives. From each of them we have many secrets to learn. I will be joyous today. Many secrets about life are mine to learn if I will stay close to all the people who cross my path. I will be mindful they are there because they have something to give me. I will be ready to receive it. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things make us bristle with antagonism. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will prejudiced for as long as some of us were. pp. 47-48 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories FLOODED WITH FEELING - When a barrier to God collapsed, this self-described agnostic was at Step Three. I don't think most moderate, social drinkers remember so clearly the night they had their first drink. I'm sure that very few of them make that date into an annual celebration by getting as drunk as possible. It was in my second year of drinking that I started saying that if you can still feel your face, you're not drunk enough. In my third year I drank homemade peach wine, and when it was gone, I had some whiskey. That night, I vomited, in a blackout. p. 370 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." Whenever our pencil falters, we can fortify and cheer ourselves by remembering what A.A. experience in this Step has meant to others. It is the beginning of the end of isolation from our fellows and from God. p. 82 ************************************************** ********* Don't go through life, grow through life. --Eric Butterworth "You see what you choose to see, because all perception is a choice. And when you cease to impose your meanings on what you see, your spiritual eyes will open, and you will see a world free of judgment and shining in its endless beauty." --Paul Ferrini To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else. --Bernadette Devlin God is the architect. I am the builder. "Stop talking about the problem and start thinking about the solution." -–Brian Tracy The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it. --John Ruskin ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BROTHERHOOD "I love my country better than my family; but I love humanity better than my country." -- Francois Fenelon We need to think "big". We need to escape from those little concepts that keep us small. Life is more than we can ever perceive. We need to see it in its totality. The nuclear family can be restrictive if taken as the center of our loyalty. Even our national citizenship needs to be placed in the context of the world. Our freedom rests in our universal humanity. Spirituality is about thinking "big". It is finding God in the richness of His creation. Our insistence on our shared humanity is the path to world peace and serenity. Divisions should not exist for the humanitarian who seeks acceptance for all men simply because they are men. May I seek to find the One in the many --- and the many in the One. ************************************************** ********* "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalms 84:11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration God not only answers prayer, but He has all the answers to the prayers that we haven't bothered to ask. Lord, when you said "ask and you shall receive", may I keep in mind that no request is too small. It is far wiser to ask God for what He thinks is good for us, than for what we think is good for us. Lord, Your Will not mine be done. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A Treatable Illness "Addiction is a disease that involves more than the use of drugs." Basic Text p. 3 At our first meeting, we may have been taken aback at the way members shared about how the disease of addiction had affected their lives. We thought to ourselves, "Disease? I've just got a drug problem! What in the world are they talking about?" After some time in the program, we began to see that our addiction ran deeper than our obsessive, compulsive drug use. We saw that we suffered from a chronic illness that affected many areas of our lives. We didn't know where we'd "caught" this disease, but in examining ourselves we realized that it had been present in us for many years. Just as the disease of addiction affects every area of our lives, so does the NA program. We attend our first meeting with all the symptoms present: the spiritual void, the emotional agony, the powerlessness, the unmanageability. Treating our illness involves much more than mere abstinence. We use the Twelve Steps, and though they don't "cure" our illness, they do begin to heal us. And as we recover, we experience the gift of life. Just for today: I will treat my illness with the Twelve Steps. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. --Mother Goose Poor Humpty ended up such a scrambled egg. Maybe that's what comes from sitting too long in one place, choosing neither this way nor that, playing both sides against the middle. Maybe he played too much politics, got too much advice, had too much to think about. When the centipede was asked which leg he first moved when setting out on a stroll, he got those legs all tangled in his mind and couldn't walk at all. It is better to be simply moved by those around us, or by our Higher Power, with faith and love. When our thoughts fail, their hearts, hands, and eyes will show the way. Do I sometimes decide my fate by refusing to decide? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If I Had My Life to Live Over ... I'd relax.... I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.... I'd start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry go rounds. I would pick more daisies. --Nadine Stair "Letting go" is a theme with many variations. When we live with gusto and are released to experience the full excitement of life, we are letting go. When we turn our lives and wills over to the care of our Higher Power, we are freed of many cares. If we orient our lives with a compass that always points to fear and insecurity, or to power and success, we are giving ourselves over to those forces. But we can orient our lives to our Higher Power's care and support. That makes it possible to drop our guard, allow for some mistakes, and delight in the pleasures of creation. Today, let me forget my worries and enjoy the fullness of life. You are reading from the book Each Day A New Beginning Children are surely one of God's greatest gifts and truest challenges. To share your life with a child is to humble yourself so that you may learn from them and discover with them the beautiful secrets that are only uncovered in searching. --Kathleen Tierney Crilly Humility accompanies every experience wherein we let ourselves fully listen to others, to learn from them, to be changed by their words, their presence. Each opportunity we take to be fully present to another person, totally with them in mind and spirit, will bless us while it blesses them. Offering and receiving the gift of genuine attention is basic to the emotional growth of every human being. Before recovering, many of us so suffered from obsessive self-centered pity that we seldom noted the real needs or pain of the people close to us. We closed ourselves off, wallowing in our own selfish worries, and our growth was stunted. Some days we still wallow. But a new day has dawned. The Steps offer us new understanding. They are helping us look beyond ourselves to all the "children of God" in our daily lives. From each of them we have many secrets to learn. I will be joyous today. Many secrets about life are mine to learn if I will stay close to all the people who cross my path. I will be mindful they are there because they have something to give me. I will be ready to receive it. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Considering Commitment Pay attention to your commitments. While many of us fear committing, its good to weigh the cost of any commitment we are considering. We need to feel consistently positive that its an appropriate commitment for us. Many of us have a history of jumping- -leaping headfirst- -into commitments without weighing the cost and the possible consequences of that particular commitment. When we get in, we find that we do not really want to commit, and feel trapped. Some of us may become afraid of losing out on a particular opportunity if we don't commit. It is true that we will lose out on certain opportunities if we are unwilling to commit. We still need to weigh the commitment. We still need to become clear about whether that commitment seems right for us. If it isn't, we need to be direct and honest with others and ourselves. Be patient. Do some soul searching. Wait for a clear answer. We need to make our commitments not in urgency or panic but in quiet confidence that what we are committing to is right for us. If something within says no, find the courage to trust that voice. This is not our last chance. It is not the only opportunity well ever have. Don't panic. We don't have to commit to what isn't right for us, even if we try to tell ourselves it should be right for us and we should commit. Often, we can trust our intuitive sense more than we can trust our intellect about commitments. In the excitement of making a commitment and beginning, we may overlook the realities of the middle. That is what we need to consider. We don't have to commit out of urgency, impulsivity, or fear. We are entitled to ask, Will this be good for me? We are entitled to ask if this commitment feels right. Today, God, guide me in making my commitments. Help me say yes to what is in my highest good, and no to what isn't. I will give serious consideration before I commit myself to any activity or person. Ii will take the time to consider if the commitment is really what I want. God is guiding me in peace and calm today. I know that everything that upsets this feeling is not permanent and will pass. I no longer allow upsets to keep me from seeing the good in others. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Nurture the Seasons of Your Soul Study nature’s ways. Learn her rhythms, her seasons, her cycles. See how she hibernates and rests during the cold winter, using that time to replenish and heal. See how she bursts forth in a slow crescendo of green and bright colors over the spring, rejoicing in the inevitable new growth. See how she gives her all, her grandest performance, over the summer months before gradually descending into a final burst of changing colors in autumn. Watch her cool down, return to her depths, and again take time to replenish. These same seasons are within us. There are times to take action, to be busily involved with creating and doing and participating and giving. There are quieter times when we are being prepared for those times of activity. We cannot give and give without taking time to replenish ourselves. There are times of gentle growth when the first blades of grass, the first signs of spring begin to emerge in our lives– whether those signal a new stage of personal growth, a new stage in a love relationship, or the first buds of life on a project we’re creating. And each season, each time, leads into the next. There is purpose and value in each day of your life, in each season of your life. Nurture your times of action, of creating, of doing, and value your quieter times of going within. The more you study nature, the more you will learn about yourself. Nurture and trust the seasons of your soul. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Letting go of finances Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. It’s about having faith that things will work out. Let’s take a look at how letting go applies to the issue of money. John had been an alcoholic for years. Over time, the disease destoyed his life, including his financial health. He hit bottom and finally began recovery. After a while, he was able to start making progress in life. But his finances were in terrible shape. For a while, he hid all the bills in a drawer. Then one day, he took out the bills and started to make a plan. Instead of feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, he applied the Twelve Steps to this area of his life. He called his creditors. He gave himself a budget. He did the best that he could and he let go of the rest. Slowly, over the years, he began to rebuild his credit. He paid off his debts, a little at a time. He applied for a credit card, the kind you have to pay in advance. Then after a year, his limit was raised. He doesn’t use the card for credit; he uses it for a credit rating. He’s now got a checking and savings account. He pays his taxes and manages to save a little every week. Sometimes things happen. Cars break down. People get sick. The rent gets raised. That unexpected expense comes up, out of the blue, just when you thought you were ahead. Worry never helped. An attitude of taking responsibility for myself did. What we cannot do for ourselves, God will do for us. And God knows we need money to live here on earth. What was that the Bible said? Seek money first, and then you’ll have peace? Nope, I got that backwards. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all else shall be added unto you.” Manifest what you need from a place of responsibility, trust, and peace. God, teach me to let go of worrying about money. ****************************************** Remembering Who We Are Brave Spirits Most of us are familiar with the idea that we are not human beings having spiritual experiences; instead, we are spiritual beings having human experiences. We hear this and even though we may experience a resounding yes in our bodies, we may not take the time to really acknowledge the truth of these statements. Integrating this idea into how we view ourselves can broaden our sense of who we are and help us appreciate ourselves as brave spirits on an important mission to learn and grow here on earth. As spiritual beings, we are visitors in this physical realm. The fact that we came here and lost all memory of what happened to us before we were born is one of the many reasons that it takes so much courage for a soul to incarnate on earth. This is why spiritual inquiry so often feels like a remembering—because it is. Remembering that we are spiritual beings is part of the work that we are here on earth to do. When we operate from a place of remembering, we tap into the wisdom that our spirit accumulated even before we stepped into this lifetime. Remembering who we are can give us the patience to persevere when we become overwhelmed or frustrated. It can give us the courage to work through the most daunting challenges and help us trust the ancient wisdom we carry that is offered to us by our intuition. We have chosen to be on earth because there is something we want to learn that can only happen by inhabiting a body. Some of us are here to repay a debt, learn about love, or teach forgiveness. Most of us are here for a combination of reasons, we carry this information in our souls, all we have to do is remember. As you go through your journey, try not to forget how brave you are, being here now. Honor yourself. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The Program teaches us that we have an incurable illness. We alwys get worse, never better. But we’re fortunate in that our incurable illness can be arrested, so long as we don’t tkae the first drink one day at a time. Hightoned academic rsearch and ivory tower studies to th contrary, we know rom experiece that we can no more control our drinking than we can control the ocean tides. Do I have any doubt that I am owerless over alcohol? Today I Pray May I never fall prey to any short-term research sresults which tell me that alcoholism can be cured, that I would be safe to bbegin drinking again, suppoosedly, in a responsible manner. My experience — and the experience of those in The Program — will outshout such threories. May I know thaat my disease is arrestablke, but not curable. May I know that if I took up my active addiction again, I would begin whre I left off — closer than ever to possible death or insanity. Today I Will Remember Be wary of new theories. ****************************************** One More Day It is a happy talent to know how to play. – Ralph Waldo Emerson As the carefree days of childhood give way to adulthood, we sometimes forfeit too much of the child. We become what we think is mature — serious and busy. Quite unintentionally we might become caught up in the importance of being married, working hard at our jobs, raising children, or paying off the mortgage. Even at home we might be rushing here and there – mowing the lawn, getting a haircut, buying clothes or groceries, and performing all the small household chores which need doing regularly. Where is the time we need for ourselves, to spend with friends, or just to play? We can find time, right now, if we want to. We can momentarily shrug off the demands of home or career and lend ourselves to carefree play. It’s sometimes easy to be too serious. Today, I will let myself participate in play. ************************************ Food For Thought Letting Go By admitting that we are unable to manage our own lives, we become ready to let a Higher Power take over. Before we can fully benefit from God's direction, we must let go completely of the idea that we are in control. We say that we are grateful compulsive overeaters, because if it had not been for our inability to control what we ate and the resulting turmoil in our lives, we might never have realized our need to "let go and let God." When we turn our problems over to our Higher Power, we leave them with Him and move as He directs. If we take the problems back, we are like a child who has given his or her parent a broken toy to fix, but snatches it back before the parent can make the repair. If we had been able to fix our problems ourselves, our way, we would not be in this program. Since we know we need help, let's be willing to let go and try God's way. May I let go of my problems so that You may direct my life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PATIENCE "Patience is the companion of wisdom." Saint Augustine Patience is an area that I have had some REAL problems with in the past. I had a tendency to want - what I want - NOW! That included recovery. Gaining recovery, as I would eventually realize, is not the same as earning a university credit. It is a process not an end result. You have to be willing to learn to do things in HP's time and manner rather than your own. What began to happen was - the more impatient I became - the more life tended to resist my efforts. It took a long time for me to realize this. Instead of calming down, I would get even more impatient and struggle even harder. Eventually, I would have a big meltdown and feel like a fool afterwards. The end result was absolutely no different for having done this. It took time for me to muster the willingness to do things in HP's time and manner. But when I did - life became much more peaceful and things had a tendency to work themselves out - without all the dramatics. One Day at a Time . . . I will learn to patiently and willingly do things in HP's time and manner. Rob R. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The terms 'spiritual experience' and 'spiritual awakening' are used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms. - Pg. 567 - 4th. Edition - Appendices II - Spiritual Experience Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Take the name of the person who has caused you the most trouble today and say: ______________, I don't have to use you as an excuse to drink or take drugs right now, because I know chemical dependency is a disease, not a reaction to people, places, or things. Thank You for showing me that people are not good excuses for practicing a chronic and deadly disease. Living the Segments of My Day Intentionally I will divide my day into segments of intention. When I wake up in the morning I will picture feeling good as I go about my early routines. When I move into the next part of my day I will see my morning going smoothly, whatever I have to do I will picture doing with ease and a happy feeling. I will be intentional about each segment of my mid day, seeing myself operating effectively, competently and enjoying my interactions with those I encounter and interact. As afternoon approaches, I will imagine, in my mind's eye, a pleasant and peaceful evening. And as evening gives way to night, I will imagine myself enjoying a peaceful and restful sleep. I will be intentional about how I live each part of my day. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right. The state of my world is a reflection of the state of my mind. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book To belittle is to be little. Time for Joy - Book - Quote God is guiding me in peace and calm today. I know that everything that upsets this feeling is not permanent and will pass. I no longer allow upsets to keep me from seeing the good in others. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote God stands for; Group Of Drunks. - John L. |
March 22
Daily Reflections NO MORE STRUGGLE And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -- even alcohol. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 When A.A. found me, I thought I was in for a struggle, and that A.A. might provide the strength I needed to beat alcohol. Victorious in that fight, who knows what other battles I could win. I would need to be strong, though. All my previous experience with life provided that. Today I do not have to struggle or exert my will. If I take those Twelve Steps and let my Higher Power do the real work, my alcohol problem disappears all by itself. My living problems also cease to be struggles. I just have to ask whether acceptance -- or change -- is required. It is not my will, but His, that needs doing. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We're all looking for the power to overcome drinking. A fellow comes into A.A. and his first question is: How do I get the strength to quit? At first, it seems to him that he will never get the necessary strength. He sees older members who have found the power he is looking for, but he doesn't know the process by which they got it. This necessary strength comes in many ways. Have I found all the strength I need? Meditation For The Day You cannot have a spiritual need which God cannot supply. Your fundamental need is a spiritual need, the need of power to lead the good life. The best spiritual supply is received by you when you want it to pass on to other people. You get it largely by giving it away. God gives you strength as you pass it on to another person. That strength means increased health; increased health means more good work, and more good work means more people helped. And so it goes on, a constant supply to meet all spiritual needs. Prayer For The Day I pray that my every spiritual need will be supplied by God. I pray that I may use the power I receive to help others. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "Selfish"?, p.81 "I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, 'A.A. is a selfish program.' The word 'selfish' ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits. "What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation--however we may define this--he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency. "If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first--a right and necessary kind of self-concern." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Let Go and Let God Guidance. Though it came from outside AA, the idea of "letting go and letting God" has taken root in the fellowship. The trouble comes when we try to decide what it really means. We obviously need to continue working and we still have to make important decisions. SO how d o we let God take charge? Surrendering to God's will is a shift that takes place in our attitude. We take whatever actions seem reasonable and proper according to our view of things. We remember, however, that a better plan may be unfolding in every situation. In many cases, it can even be a case of wanting too little rather than too much. One member, for example, sought guidance in a business decision. He was disappointed when the deal feel through, but discovered, only a few weeks later, an even better opportunity that worked out perfectly. "Letting God" is really a form of working Step Eleven.. Seeking "Knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." As we do that, our lives must become enriched and improved in every way. I'll approach the day with the idea that God is working it out for the highest good of everybody. Temporary setbacks won't bother me if I know that God's plan is unfolding in my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If anything, we have tended to be people who wanted it all now. To hope is not Not to demand. --- On Hope Maybe we were a bit demanding. Maybe we were a bit impatient. Maybe that’s why we had such little hope. Hope is believing good will come even in bad time. Hope is knowing that “this, too, shall pass.” Hope is knowing that no matter how afraid we are, God will be with us. Hope is knowing we never have to be alone again. It is knowing that time that time is on our side. Hope is giving up control. Hope is knowing we never had control in the first place. Hope is believing in ourselves. Hope is what our program is all about. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, in our program we share our experiences, our strengths, and our hopes. Thank you for giving all three of these to me to share. Action for the Day: I will share my hope for the future with myself, my Higher Power, and my friends. I also will share this with someone who has lost hope. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Reared as we were in a youth and beauty oriented society, we measured ourselves by our ornamental value. --Janet Harris Rare is the woman who doesn't long for a svelte body, firm breasts, pretty teeth, a smooth complexion. Rare is the woman who feels content, truly satisfied with her total person. We are often torn between wanting to be noticed and yet not wanting eyes to gaze upon us. We are all that we need to be today, at this moment. And we have an inner beauty, each of us, that is our real blessing in the lives of others. Our inner beauty will shine forth if we invite it to do so. Whatever our outer appearance, it doesn't gently touch or bring relief where suffering is--like our words which come from the heart, the home of our inner beauty. Perhaps a better mirror for reflecting our true beauty is the presence or absence of friends in our lives. We each have known stunning women who seemed to cast only cold glances our way and handsome men who arrogantly belittled others. It's our inner beauty that is valued by others. The surprise in store for each of us is discovering that the glow of our inner beauty transforms our outer appearance too. My beauty today will be enhanced by my gentle attention to the other people sharing my experiences. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS The reader may still ask why he should believe in a Power greater than himself. We think there are good reasons. Let us have a look at some of them. The practical individual of today is a stickler for facts and results. Nevertheless, the twentieth century readily accepts theories of all kinds, provided they are firmly grounded in fact. We have numerous theories, for example, about electricity. Everybody believes them without a murmur of doubt. Why this ready acceptance? Simply because it is impossible to explain what we see, feel, direct, and use, without a reasonable assumption as a starting point. p. 48 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories FLOODED WITH FEELING - When a barrier to God collapsed, this self-described agnostic was at Step Three. Soon I found that I didn't get as sick on vodka. Drinking vodka was like something out of science fiction--I could be someplace one moment and instantly transported to somewhere else the next. I could never seem to find that happy balance. I remember going to a party. I started drinking, and suddenly I could talk to anybody. Soon I could barely walk. A friend drove me home that night, but I sometimes drove a car when I was to drunk to walk. p. 370 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Nine - "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." Good judgment, a careful sense of timing, courage, and prudence--these are the qualities we shall need when we take Step Nine. p. 83 ************************************************** ********* God, please show me how to put ideas like fun and joy back into my life. Show me how to have more fun in work, in love, and in play. --Melody Beattie "There are lessons to be learned in every place. The mark of spiritual mastery is the ability to remember God wherever we go, and through whatever we experience." --Alan Cohen "A friend will see us at our worst, as well as our best. A friend will not close his or her heart when we have made a mistake. A friend will not condemn us but will compassionately support our return to a state of grace." --Marianne Williamson Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. --Les Brown However I pray, God hears my prayers. --Katrina Cassel ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FORGIVENESS "God will forgive me; that's his business." -- Heinrich Heine It took me a long time to accept that God had forgiven the deeds done in my addiction. It took me a long time to comprehend that God is forgiveness, "forgiving love". Forgiveness unites us with God because it is His nature to forgive. When I am living the spiritual life, I can unite myself with Him by my acts of forgiveness. And when I forgive others, I am doing a kindness, an act of forgiveness, to myself. Hate used to drain me of energy and it still can if I get caught up in resentments. Forgiveness restores energy and peace. When I forgive, I am at one with God. In the forgiveness of others I discover me. ************************************************** ********* "But You, O GOD the Lord, Deal with me for Your name's sake; Because Your mercy is good, deliver me" Psalm 109:21 He that followeth after righteousness and mercy findeth life, righteousness, and honor. Proverbs 21:21 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Think often of your friends and seldom of your enemies and you will surround yourself with good thoughts, leaving little or no room for darkness. Lord, help me search for goodness so that it is goodness that I find. We take for granted so much of what God has planned for us. Lord, may I have sufficient preparation to meet the challenges of today and rejoice in the person that I am. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Principle Of Self-Support "In our addiction, we were dependent upon people, places, and things. We looked to them to support us and supply the things we found lacking in ourselves." Basic Text pg. 67 In the animal kingdom, there is a creature that thrives on others. It is called a leech. It attaches itself to people and takes what it needs. When one victim brushes the leech off, it simply goes to the next. In our active addiction, we behaved similarly. We drained our families, our friends, and our communities. Consciously or unconsciously, we sought to get something for nothing from virtually everyone we encountered. When we saw the basket passed at our first meeting we may have thought, "Self-Support! Now what kind of odd notion is this?" As we watched, we noticed something. These self-supporting addicts were free. By paying their own way, they had earned the privilege of making their own decisions. By applying the principle of self-support in our personal lives, we gain for ourselves the same kind of freedom. No longer does anyone have the right to tell us where to live, because we pay our own rent. We can eat, wear, or drive whatever we choose, because we provide it for ourselves. Unlike the leech, we don't have to depend on others for our sustenance. The more responsibility we assume, the more freedom we'll gain. Just for today: There are no limits to the freedom I can earn by supporting myself. I will accept personal responsibility and pay my own way today. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Real men don't vacuum. --Anna Genich Once, not so long ago, there was a family who tried to divide up housework equally. The father signed up for vacuuming, but he never got around to doing it. One morning he told everyone about his dream the night before. He was lined up in the dining room with an entire football team, and they all ran in a line through the house, pushing the clutter and dirt up against the walls and out of the way. They came to a finish at the picture window, where the father turned and raised his arms in victory. Then he saw his wife watching him, so he explained, "Heroes don't vacuum." Perhaps each of us is a hero at one time or another. In that case, we might take turns at different chores, rewarding the day's hero with a day off from vacuuming or dishwashing. When we work together to get the chores done, we become a family of heroes, and can feel a healthy pride in our warm, loving, and clean home. How can we share housework more equally? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other. --M. C. Richards Recovering men know this path is not always easy. We usually talk about the benefits of recovery and the many promises of the program. Today, in our fellowship, we talk of the challenges we must face in order to recover. Honesty may be the greatest challenge. It is frightening to be honest with ourselves about things we have never really admitted or faced before. Sometimes we have new and confusing feelings and think something must be wrong with us. But we may be just experiencing the logical outcome of our earlier commitment to be honest. No one recovers by thinking about it. We must actively take each Step and meet the challenges presented. We are not alone with our difficulties. We are part of a large movement of men committed to recovery, and this quiet moment is one way in which we are simply putting one foot in front of the other. Today, I pray for the courage to remain faithful when the fears and pains of my transformation are overwhelming. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Reared as we were in a youth and beauty oriented society, we measured ourselves by our ornamental value. --Janet Harris Rare is the woman who doesn't long for a svelte body, firm breasts, pretty teeth, a smooth complexion. Rare is the woman who feels content, truly satisfied with her total person. We are often torn between wanting to be noticed and yet not wanting eyes to gaze upon us. We are all that we need to be today, at this moment. And we have an inner beauty, each of us, that is our real blessing in the lives of others. Our inner beauty will shine forth if we invite it to do so. Whatever our outer appearance, it doesn't gently touch or bring relief where suffering is--like our words which come from the heart, the home of our inner beauty. Perhaps a better mirror for reflecting our true beauty is the presence or absence of friends in our lives. We each have known stunning women who seemed to cast only cold glances our way and handsome men who arrogantly belittled others. It's our inner beauty that is valued by others. The surprise in store for each of us is discovering that the glow of our inner beauty transforms our outer appearance too. My beauty today will be enhanced by my gentle attention to the other people sharing my experiences. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Letting Go of Being a Victim Its okay to have a good day. Really. Its okay to be doing okay and to feel like our life is manageable and on track. Many of us have learned, as part of our survival behaviors, that the way to get the attention and approval we want is to be victims. If life is awful, too difficult, unmanageable, too hard, unfair, then others will accept, like, and approve of us, we think. We may have learned this from living and associating with people who also learned to survive by being a victim. We are not victims. We do not need to be victimized. We do not need to be helpless and out of control to get the attention and love we desire. In fact, the kind of love we are seeking cannot be obtained that way. We can get the love we really want and need by only owning our power. We learn that we can stand on our own two feet, even though it sometimes feels good to lean a little. We learn that the people we are leaning on are not holding us up. They are standing next to us. We all have bad days- -days when things are not going the way wed like, days when we have feelings of sadness and fear. But we can deal with our bad days and darker feelings in ways that reflect self-responsibility rather than victimization. Its okay to have a good day too. We might not have as much to talk about, but well have more to enjoy. God, help me let go of my need to be a victim. Help me let go of my belief that to be loved and get attention I need to be a victim. Surround me with people who love me when I own my power. Help me start having good days and enjoying them. As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At any time during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I will bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Don’t Be Controlled by Love Using love to control and manipulate is heartbreaking. It can break the heart of the person doing it, it can break the heart of the person it’s being done to. So often, controlling through love is done almost unconsciously. It’s a dance people do out of habit to get their needs met. Their reasons don’t matter, although it’s easier to have compassion for those who control unknowingly than those who use the power of love maliciously and viciously. What matters is how you respond if it’s being done to you. What matters is that you don’t do it to other people. Open your heart and see the truth. Set yourself free. If someone is controlling you by using your love for them or your need to be loved, acknowledge it. If you are doing it to someone else, acknowledge that,too. Once you see the truth, you can set yourself free. So much of what we need to do to free our hearts and souls is simply to acknowledge the truth. The rest will happen naturally. Love has no price. It’s only love if it’s free. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of the future Many years ago, in ancient times, Moses led a group of slaves out of Egypt and back to their homeland. Along the way, they had to wander for many years through the Sinai Peninsula, a barren, rocky, lifeless stretch of land. During their extended stay in the wilderness, God provided them with manna, a food that appeared out of nowhere and sustained the people with the nourishment they needed each day. The trick to this rhythm of trusting God, and receiving what they needed, was that any manna they received had to be used that day. Manna couldn’t be hoarded. It could not be stored or saved up for a rainy day. If the people hoarded their manna, it would spoil and rot away. Or it would mysteriously disappear as magically and certainly as it had appeared. Most of us know what it means to receive our daily bread. It’s the love, the guidance, the grace, and the material things we need each day on our journey. Sometimes, we can sit down and anticipate the times to come. We can look at our money, our strength, our abilities, our stamina, and say wearily, “There just won’t be enough.” That’s because we’re looking too far ahead. Look around at what you have available, this moment or this hour. Use the resources and gifts you’ve been given. Tomorrow’s manna will come at its appointed hour. ****************************************** Yellow Miracles Daffodils by Madisyn Taylor Almost nothing else represents the emergence of spring as the beloved yellow daffodil happy and bright after a long winter's nap. Some things on this earth look as if they were designed to bring happiness to the hearts of humans. The daffodil, with its bright yellow coloring and green stem, is one such creation. The daffodil makes its appearance in the spring, abundant and inexpensive, bringing gladness as sure as sunshine itself to whoever is lucky enough to receive a single stem, or a bunch, of these delicate yellow miracles. It is as if the sun has shed a layer of skin and fashioned a flower out of it. Color psychologists suggest that too much yellow can be too stimulating, but in small doses it inspires hope and good cheer. The daffodil is a perfect-sized package of yellow for anyone feeling glum or energetically low. It can spur us to action or simply imbue us with a feeling of optimism as it vibrantly glows in our homes or on our desks at work. The daffodil’s presence is ideal in any region where sunshine is scarce as it seems to carry the sun in the soft flesh of its petals. The bulbs are not expensive, and the flowers give so much that you may decide to plant a few in your yard or in a window box. Then again, you may simply wait until they arrive in neat little bundles in the grocery store or flower shop. They are usually very reasonably priced, so you can afford to spoil yourself, and those you love, with a large bouquet. A daffodil placed under the windshield wiper of a loved one’s car says, “Be happy! Spring has sprung! I love you!” A collection of stems gathered and placed in a Mason jar can be left on someone’s doorstep to remind them of the simple beauties that abound in this life. Don’t forget to bless yourself with a vase of these bright blossoms on your kitchen table or nightstand. Every time you see them, you will be filled with the happiness and warmth of the sun. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Once in a great while, I find myself thinking that perhaps things weren’t quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me in to denying that I am. In fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of The Program is that we give our illness to God as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power. Do I believe that the grace of God can do fo rme what I could never do for myself? Today I Pray May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time — or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us – and through others who have found new life in The Program — it is all the evidence we need to know that He exists. Today I Will Remember The Big Wheel runs by faith. ****************************************** One More Day Courage is the resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. – Mark Twain So many of us suffer from flagging self-esteem. This may occur for many reasons, all complex. When we finally decide we are going to create change in our lives, we may be uncertain as to how to make the change. How do we start? One of the best starting places is to adopt on premise of the Twelve Step Programs and begin to act “as if” we have all the confidence in the world, “as if” we have great faith in ourselves. We start to spend time thinking about the possibilities, rather than the impossibilities. We all fear the unknown, but to act “as if” helps us deal with the things we can’t see. Eventually, contrived as it feels, our new behavior will become new habits, and we won’t need to act “as if” – because we truly “are.” I am willing to try to act “as if” I can create change. ************************************ Food For Thought Abstinence Is a Way of Life Each morning when we wake up, we give thanks for another day of abstinence. Our bodies feel good, function well, and look better. To go back to our old ways of eating compulsively would be to give up the new health and peace of mind, which we have acquired through OA. We do not want to go back. We are learning a new way of life, one that is infinitely preferable to our old ways. In order to maintain our abstinence and continue to make progress, we need a program. For most of us, this involves working the Twelve Steps each day. Program sponsors can help us with this new way of life. Other OA members share their experience and tell us what has worked for them. Most of us find that we need the spiritual part of the program if we are to maintain our abstinence. Abstaining purely for weight control is usually not enough. If we are to keep what OA has given us, we have to share it with others. We find that the more we give it away, the more progress we make with our own program. To abstain is no sacrifice; it is growth and life. I am grateful for this new life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PUSHING BUTTONS & PATIENCE "Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is Patience." Ralph Waldo Emerson When I first came to Program, I didn't really know what abstinence was. I thought it was a diet. It turned out to be far more than I ever imagined. Since beginning, I've gained abstinence, I've lost weight and my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being has changed more than I ever thought possible. I've come so far ... beyond my wildest dreams ... yet, sometimes it feels like it's still not enough. I'll get in a row with my 12 year old daughter over some minor issue. She has a way of pushing my buttons which sends me into "fingerpointing" and "lecture" mode - good intentions gone totally awry! She'll ultimately tune me out - and I'll walk away feeling like a bad parent. The guilt will set in and I'll deride myself for lacking patience and having bad judgement! But once I've calmed down - I'll remind myself that my intentions were good and - as in my food plan - progress not perfection has to apply to my parenting just as it does to my any other aspect of my recovery. This requires me to be patient with MYSELF as well as with others. One Day at a Time . . . I will learn to be patient with myself as well as with others. Rob R. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day 'Thy will be done.' We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. - Pg 87-88 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Reliance for our recovery must be placed upon spiritual faculties and not objective things. People, places, and things are transitory, flitting through our lives at different speeds. We can trust no person, no place, and often not even our own best intentions. We can only trust our spiritual foundation. I know that staying clean and sober is a gift based on the spiritual foundation I lay hour to hour, one day at a time. Actualizing the Gifts that are In Me I will actualize that gifts that are in me today. I will be less preoccupied with who I'm not and more occupied with who I am. When I spend all of my time looking outside of me or wanting what others have, I forget that I have my own special gifts. God has placed gifts within me that I am meant to develop and share. My responsibility is to come to know what my gifts are, then to cultivate and strengthen them as I share them with the world. I look for the gifts that are in me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'It is time to speak your Truth. Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader. This could be a good time!' Oraibi, Arizona Hopi Nation I enjoy the Fellowship of the Spirit. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you are clean and sober, the miracle has already happened. Stick around, the impossibilities take a little longer. Time for Joy - Book - Quote No matter how busy I am today, I will begin and end my day with quiet time. I look forward to that time when I stop all outward activity, rest and look within for my peace and truth. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'm definitely an alcoholic. My friend asked; 'If they discovered a pill that if you took one you could drink safely, what would you do?' I said; 'I'd want to know what happens if you take two.' - Larry S. |
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