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Daily Recovery Readings - June
June 1
Daily Reflections A CHANGED OUTLOOK Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 When I was drinking, my attitude was totally selfish, totally self-centered; my pleasure and my comfort came first. Now that I am sober, self-seeking has started to slip away. My whole attitude toward life and other people is changing. For me, the first "A" in our name stands for attitude. My attitude is changed by the second "A" in our name, which stands for action. By working the Steps, attending meetings, and carrying the message, I can be restored to sanity. Action is the magic word! With a positive, helpful attitude and regular A.A. action, I can stay sober and help others to achieve sobriety. My attitude now is that I am willing to go to any length to stay sober! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Some things I do not miss since becoming dry: that overall awful feeling physically, including the shakes, a splitting headache, pains in my arms and legs, bleary eyes, fluttering stomach, droopy shoulders, weak knees, a three-day beard, and a flushed complexion. Also, facing my loved one at breakfast. Also, composing the alibi and sticking to it. Also, trying to shave or put on make-up with a shaky hand. Also, opening up my wallet to find it empty. I don't miss these things, do I? Meditation For The Day You were born with a spark of the Divine within you. It had been all but smothered by the life you were living. That celestial fire has to be tended and fed so that it will grow eventually into a real desire to live the right way. By trying to do the will of God, you grow more and more in the new way of life. By thinking of God, praying to Him, and having communion with Him, you gradually grow more like Him. The way of your transformation from the material to the spiritual is the way of Divine Companionship. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may tend the spark of the Divine within me so that it will grow. I pray that I may be gradually transformed from the old life to the new life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Miraculous Power, p. 152 Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that Power in human lives are facts as old as man himself. << << << >> >> >> "Faith may often be given through inspired teaching or a convincing personal example of its fruits. It may sometimes be had through reason. For instance, many clergymen believe that St. Thomas Aquinas actually proved God's existence by sheer logic. But what can one do when all these channels fail? This was my own grievous dilemma. "It was only when I came fully to believe I was powerless over alcohol, only when I appealed to God who just might exist, that I experienced a spiritual awakening. This freedom-giving experience came first, and then faith followed afterward--a gift indeed!" 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 55 2. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Selfish is always wrong Inventory It's unfortunate that members sometimes refer to the Twelve step idea as a SELFISH program. If selfishness is considered a human shortcoming, why should we describe our wonderful program as selfish? What we're really trying to say, it seems, is that our true self-interest lies in the direction of helping others and sharing our experience and strength with them. To do this is to lose the "bondage of self" that is so destructive in the life of every compulsive person. In this process, we'll probably also discover that too much self-concern has made us unhappy and ill. Selfish, we're likely to learn, is always bad. When people say that ours is a selfish program, they really intend to convey the idea that it's a "self-improvement" program. It's our concern about others that leads to the higher forms of self-improvement. Though exercising prudence and good judgment, I'll take a healthy interest in helping others and sharing with them today. I know that my Higher Power will be with me in all my actions. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.---Step Six Character defects include being stubborn, feeling self-pity, and wanting to always be in control. We must be ready to give up these defects, or they will hurt us. Being ready is our part of Step Six. Our Higher Power will remove these defects. We don't need to know how. We just need to be ready to give them up when God asks for them. We don't need to know when. We just have to be ready. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, take away my self-pity, fears, anger, and anything else that hurts my recovery. Help me make room for peace. Action for the Day: Today, I'll get ready to have my character defects removed. I will list them and ask myself, "What do I get from keeping them?" ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach; one can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Being selective in choosing activities, in choosing friends, in choosing material possessions fosters unexpected appreciation. Too much of any one thing negates whatever specialness might have been realized. If we surround ourselves with acquaintances, we never fully share in knowing a few people well. If we surround ourselves with "toys," we never learn how we really want to spend our time. When we don't take life slowly, piece by piece (one shell at a time), we avoid the greatest discovery of all, the person within. When our attention to persons, places, things is deliberate and steady, the beauty within the object of our focus shines forth, and we, too, are made more beautiful in the process. Today, I will take time to smell the flowers. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself. p. 55 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. When they came to wake me, I was very belligerent and threatening. I scared them. They were afraid I would hit them. That was it. I could see that something had to be done. My wife's sister-in-law, who is a social worker, suggested we seek a counselor. I thought that might be a good idea. I was having anxiety attacks for no reason. I used to be able to demonstrate products to high-level executives of the corporation I worked for with no problem; now even minor product showcases were becoming difficult. pp. 398-399 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." When A.A.'s Traditions were first published, in 1946, we had become sure that an A.A. group could stand almost any amount of battering. We saw that the group, exactly like the individual, must eventually conform to whatever tested principles would guarantee survival. We had discovered that there was perfect safety in the process of trial and error. So confident of this had we become that the original statement of A.A. tradition carried this significant sentence: "Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group provided that as a group they have no other affiliation." pp. 146-147 ************************************************** ********* Two step formula for handling stress: 1. Don't sweat the small stuff. 2. Remember that it's all small stuff. --Anthony Robbins People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges. --Joseph Fort Newton The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. --unknown "God does not ask your ability or your inability. He asks only your availability." --Mary Kay Ash When I find myself exhausted, I can rest, in knowing God is unlimited strength. --SweetyZee Life's most rewarding gifts are those that don't look like presents at all. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation OLD "Old age is when you realize other people's faults are no worse than your own." --Edgar Shoaff Age is a great leveler! I am on a journey to God and this involves many stages of experience - some good and some bad, some painful and some exceedingly joyful, some confusing and others understandable. These experiences will take me into a period of life called "old age". Many people fear this period of life because it is connected with poor health, helplessness and death. I was afraid of age because a part of me feared the "mystery" of death. The "uncertainty" of death brought with it a lack of control! I am sure that guilt and fear of God were also involved. Today I realize that we all have similar fears and concerns. Mystery brings with it a sense of awe! Today I have a loving God. Today God is involved in my life. Today, in my recovery, I have a perspective in my life - I am not all bad! Age is bringing balance. Thank You for the balance that comes with personal forgiveness. ************************************************** ********* A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Proverbs 15:1 "Love is patient." I Corinthians 13:4a "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31 Rekindle the gift of God that is within you. 2 Timothy 1:6 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration You will be more effective and get to the next thing that you want to do if you concentrate on what you are doing right now. Lord, help me recognize when my mind is jumping forward so that I can refocus. Do not act as though you are watching a parade because we are each one of the marchers. Lord, things change so quickly. Help me to celebrate the constant newness of my life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Keep Coming Back "We don't have to be clean when we get here but, after the first meeting, we suggest that newcomers keep coming back and come back clean. We don't have to wait for an overdose or a jail sentence to get help from Narcotics." Basic Text, p. 10 Very few of us arrive in NA brimming with willingness. Some of us are here because we are court-ordered to attend. Some have come to save our families. Some come in an effort to salvage a career teetering on the brink of ruin. It doesn't matter why we are here. It only matters that we are. We have heard it said that "if we bring the body, the mind will follow." We may come to meetings with a chip on our shoulders. We may be one of those who sits in the back of the rooms with our arms folded across our chest, glaring threateningly at anyone who approaches us. Perhaps we leave before the final prayer. But if we keep coming back, we find that our minds begin to open up. We start to drop our guard, and begin to really listen when others share. We may even hear someone talking with whom we can relate. We begin the process of change. After some time in NA, we find that more than our minds have arrived in our meeting rooms. More importantly, our hearts have arrived, too. After that happens, the miracles really begin. Just for today: I will strive to listen with an open mind to what I hear shared. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. --Helen Keller Close observation of small children playing, ants moving across a dirt mound, a bird building a nest, a plane flying overhead, tomatoes ripening in a garden are quiet reminders of the many miracles surrounding us at any moment. Often we may wonder just how a carrot grows from a small seed. What enables a robin to fly south in the winter without getting lost? And then we remember the power of the Creator, and the presence of that power everywhere. Just as the squirrel knows to collect nuts for winter, each of us knows we're always being watched over by God. When we remember that, we feel safe and happy wherever we are, at school, a new friend's house, home alone in the evening. Every moment is full of wonder, and God is always present. What small things will I share with God today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. In music, in the sea, in a flower, in a leaf, in an act of kindness... I see what people call God in all these things. --Pablo Casals The Third Step refers to "God as we understood Him." The pathways to meeting our Higher Power and to our spiritual awakening are all around. Every tree and every leaf on every tree, as it rustles in the wind, expresses God in our lives. When the little bird flies overhead or when it comes to visit the feeder, we are being visited by a spirit. When the sky boils with a storm, when lightning and thunder crash, we are witness to power greater than ourselves with a history beyond the centuries. The beautiful works of art created by our fellow human travelers on this journey through life are expressions of their courage to reach out and create something. A line of music moves us and we feel the spirit. A child makes a drawing and gives it away. A neighbor helps you start your car. You treat the clerk at the checkout counter like a real person. Whatever word we use for God, if we decide to be open and receptive, we find God in the little details of our lives. Spiritual awakening is a wonderful daily occurrence. God, open my senses to take in your presence more fully. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach; one can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Being selective in choosing activities, in choosing friends, in choosing material possessions fosters unexpected appreciation. Too much of any one thing negates whatever specialness might have been realized. If we surround ourselves with acquaintances, we never fully share in knowing a few people well. If we surround ourselves with "toys," we never learn how we really want to spend our time. When we don't take life slowly, piece by piece (one shell at a time), we avoid the greatest discovery of all, the person within. When our attention to persons, places, things is deliberate and steady, the beauty within the object of our focus shines forth, and we, too, are made more beautiful in the process. Today, I will take time to smell the flowers. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Directness We feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them. Indirect people, people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they're feeling, cannot be trusted. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. And it may catch everyone by surprise. Directness saves time and energy. It removes us as victims. It dispenses with martyrdom and games. It helps us own our power, It creates respectful relationships. It feels safe to be around direct, honest people. Be one. Today, I will own my power to be direct. I do not have to be passive, nor do I need to be aggressive. I will become comfortable with my own truth, so those around me can become comfortable with me. Today I know my Higher Power gives me all the strength that I need to move forward. I can feel this strength growing within me as I dare to take one new step at a time. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Your Body Lead You Our bodies can help provide us with direction. Many of us have heard the expression I’m leaning toward that or I’m leaning away from that. When we’re centered and balanced, our body will help show us what we really want to do. We will literally lean toward or away from what we like or don’t like. We’v spent much of our lives forcing our body into situations, into energy fields and circumstances that it leaned away from, resisted, moved back from. Then we wondered why we hurt and felt uncomfortable. The more we honor our body, the more it will help lead us. And the more it will become a natural guide helping us on our path, reflecting the desires of our heart and soul. The more we learn to trust our body, the more we’ll come into harmony with our natural rhythms, the cycles and movements of our lives. Learn to open to the subtle guidance and messages your body sends to you about what it likes, what it dislikes, what it leans toward, and what it leans away from. Learn to see where it’s leading you. Talk to your body. Ask it what it wants. Then let it show you. Respect it enough to listen. The more we connect to our bodies, the more we will live connected to our hearts, our souls, and be guided by the Divine. The more we practice listening to our bodies, the more naturally and easily this guidance and connection will flow. Trust the wisdom of your body, for it often reflects the wisdom of your soul. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn to say relax In skydiving, there is a position called the arch. It is a body position where the body is specifically arched from the neck down. The theory behind this is that gravity always works, and if the hips are arched, the sky diver will fall facedown toward the earth in a balanced, stable body position. The trick to this body position is that it must be maintained in a relaxed way. If the sky diver doesn’t relax enough, the body will bounce around, maybe even flip over. Or, legs and arms won’t be in the right position, and the sky diver may start spinning out of control. It is a deliberate, assertive, yet relaxed posture. It’s a place sky divers call “home.” “You have to practice your arch,” my jump master had instructed. “And you have to learn to relax.” “How,” I said quietly and sincerely, “do you expect me to relax when I’m falling through the air at 120 miles an hour to my certain death if everything doesn’t work out right?” “Practice,” he said. “Get out of your head and let your body remember how it feels.” During free fall, I was stable. I grinned at my instructor. This was fun. Then for a second, I tensed up. I started wobbling through the air, feeling like I was out of control. Finally, I took a deep breath and let myself relax. There it was again. I had finally found home. Whether we’re chasing our dreams, trying to let go of a relationship, trying to raise our family, trying to get to know ourselves better, recovering from a dependency, healing from a loss, or just plain going about our lives, we can find that place called home,” too– even when it feels like we’re falling to the ground at 120 miles an hour. Part of the language of letting go is learning to say relax. God, teach me to relax inside, even when it feels like the last possible thing I can do. ************************************************** Recognizing Happiness Analyzing the Path by Madisyn Taylor When we take the time to recognize when we are happy and what that feels like, it becomes easier to recreate. Those of us on the path of personal and spiritual growth have a tendency to analyze our unhappiness in order to find the causes and make improvements. But it is just as important, if not more so, to analyze our happiness. Since we have the ability to rise above and observe our emotions, we can recognize when we are feeling joyful and content. Then we can harness the power of the moment by savoring our feelings and taking time to be grateful for them. Recognition is the first step in creating change, therefore recognizing what it feels like to be happy is the first step toward sustaining happiness in our lives. We can examine how joy feels in our bodies and what thoughts run through our minds in times of bliss. Without diminishing its power, we can retrace our steps to discover what may have put us in this frame of mind, and then we can take note of the choices we’ve made while there. We might realize that we are generally more giving and forgiving when there’s a smile on our face, or that we are more likely to laugh off small annoyances and the actions of others when they don’t resonate with our light mood. Once we know what it feels like and can identify some of the triggers and are aware of our actions, we can recreate that happiness when we are feeling low. Knowing that like attracts like, we can pull ourselves out of a blue mood by focusing on joy. We might find that forcing ourselves to be giving and forgiving, even when it doesn’t seem to come naturally, helps us to reconnect with the joy that usually precedes it. If we can identify a song, a picture, or a pet as a happiness trigger, we can use them as tools to recapture joy if we are having trouble finding it. By focusing our energy on analyzing happiness and all that it encompasses, we feed, nurture, and attract more of it into our lives, eventually making a habit of happiness. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day Slowly but surely, I'm becoming able to accept other people's faults as well as their virtues. The Program is teaching me to "always love the best in others - and never fear their worst." This is hardly an easy transition from my old way of thinking, but I'm beginning to see that all people - including myself - are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong. Am I approaching true tolerance? Am I beginning to see what real love for my fellows actually means? Today I Pray May God give me tolerance for any shortcomings or sick symptoms or insensitivities of others, so that I can love the qualities that are good in them. May God instruct me in the truest meaning of love - which must also include patience and forgiveness. May I not overlook the faults of those I love, but may I try to understand them. Today I Will Remember Love is understanding. ************************************ Food For Thought Take an Idea Break When we are bored or tired, it has been our habit to reach for something to eat or drink. Food has been our number one stimulant. There are many sources besides the refrigerator to which we may turn for refreshment. We may stimulate our minds instead of our appetites by reading something worthwhile and thought provoking. We may listen to music or simply take a good look out the nearest window. In addition to intellectual stimulation, there are many sensory feasts besides food, which we may have been neglecting. During our recovery from compulsive overeating, we grow less obsessed with food and more interested in the world around us. When our brains are no longer dulled with refined sugar, we take pleasure in new thoughts and ideas. The next time we find ourselves thinking about something to eat, let's try consuming something pleasant with our eyes, ears, or minds instead of our mouths. May I enjoy fully all of the senses and abilities You have given me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PERFECTION “My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet.” Mahatma Gandhi I don't know why I used to think that if something wasn't done perfectly, it wasn't worth doing. I was an all-time overachiever and to fail at anything was totally unacceptable. Since I set such impossibly high standards, it was hardly surprising that I couldn't love -- or even like -- myself. I was constantly pushing to excel at those things I was good at, and I would beat myself up if I failed to meet my high expectations. I was especially critical of my body. I thought that if I had the perfect body, my life would be perfect. When I came into the program I had to learn to not be so hard on myself. For the first time I began to realize that I was human and could still be loveable and worthy ~ even with all my imperfections and character defects. I am lovingly reminded by my sponsor and my friends in the fellowship to be gentler with myself. They remind me that I don't even have to do the program perfectly. I just need to do the best I know how for that day; then I can see progress one day at a time. I don't have to push myself to be perfect all the time in order to win approval or gain love. What a relief that is! One day at a time... I don't have to be perfect all the time. I just need to be the best me that I can be for today…and that's the way God intended me to be. ~ Sharon S. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We never, never try to arrange a man's life so as to shield him from temptation. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. Make him feel absolutely free to come and go as he likes. This is important. If he gets drunk, don't blame yourself. God has either removed your husband's liquor problem or He has not. If not, it had better be found out right away. Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals. - Pg. 120 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The reality of our illness is simple, we have it! Once we see that we have the disease of chemical dependency, then we can admit that we are addicted to whatever, and then we can accept the help we are offered. I accept my humanness and accept my non-perfection in order to accept the help of those in recovery. Responsibility Today, I see that I can't release something just because someone tells me that it is the right or nice thing to do. Until I have moved through an internal process of identifying honestly what is going on with me, I can't really let it go. Honesty means that I am willing to be responsible. Whatever negative characteristics may have become a part of me from living with unhealed pain are, unfortunately, mine to deal with now. Projecting and blaming will not get me closer to getting rid of them. If I do not own my feelings, they will own me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you meet more than three assholes in one day, you need a meeting. If you meet more than four, you need a meeting and to call your sponsor. Any more than that and you better be reviewing Steps One, Two and Three real hard. When too many assholes get in my way, it means I need a check-up from the neck up. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book At the start of meetings we always ask, 'Is there anybody new or coming back?' We should also ask, 'Is there anybody old and going out?' Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know my Higher Power gives me all the strength that I need to move forward. I can feel this strength growing within me as I dare to take one new step at a time. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I got so depressed at being a guru in AA that I came home from a meeting, left the car running in the garage, went in the house wrote three suicide notes, went back out, laid in the back seat of the car. Then I discovered I had to go to the can- I'm not going to be found with wet pants. While I'm there, the phone rings - on my death bed I will answer the phone, I'm nosy. And it was a newcomer in depression - He's interrupting my suicide. Naturally I had to tell him how wonderful life was...So you see they do save your life. - Serenity Sam. |
June 2
Daily Reflections THE UPWARD PATH Here are the steps we took. . . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59 These are the words that lead into the Twelve Steps. In their direct simplicity they sweep aside all psychological and philosophical considerations about the rightness of the Steps. They describe what I did: I took the Steps and sobriety was the result. These words do not imply that I should walk the well-trodden path of those who went before, but rather that there is a way for me to become sober and that it is a way I shall have to find. It is a new path, one that leads to infinite light at the top of the mountain. The Steps advise me about the footholds that are safe and about chasms to avoid. They provide me with the tools I need during the many parts of the solitary journey of my soul. When I speak of this journey, I share my experience, strength and hope with others. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Some more things I do not miss since becoming dry: wondering if the car is in the garage and how I got home; struggling to remember where I was and what I did since my last conscious moment; trying to delay getting off to work, and wondering how I will look when I get there; dreading the day ahead of me. I'm quite sure that I don't miss these things, am I not? Meditation For The Day You cannot believe in God and keep your selfish ways. The old self shrivels up and dies, and upon the reborn soul God's image becomes stamped. The gradual elimination of selfishness in the growth of love for God and your fellow human beings is the goal of life. At first, you have only a faint likeness to the Divine, but the picture grows and takes on more and more of the likeness of God until those who see you can see in you some of the power of God's grace at work in a human life. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may develop that faint likeness I have to the Divine. I pray that others may see in me some of the power of God's grace at work. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Without Anger, p. 153 Suppose A.A. falls under sharp public attack or heavy ridicule, having little or no justification in fact. Our best defense in these situations would be no defense whatever--namely, complete silence at the public level. If in good humor we let unreasonable critics alone, they are apt to subside more quickly. If their attacks persist and it is plain that they are misinformed, it may be wise to communicate with them privately in a temperate and informative way. If, however, a given criticism of A.A. is partly or wholly justified, it may well be to acknowledge this privately to the critics, together with our thanks. But under no conditions should we exhibit anger or any punitive intent. << << << >> >> >> What we must recognize is that we exult in some of our defects. Self-righteousness anger can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us; it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority. 1. Twelve Concepts, p. 69 2. 12 & 12, pp. 66-67 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Why admitting we're wrong is right Right action Sometimes it's painful or almost impossible to admit that we've been wrong. This means we'll probably go on making the same mistakes until we're forced to face the truth. Why does this happen? The problem lies with what we call the EGO in our Twelve step program discussions. We commit ourselves in defending this ego at al times, especially around people who seem to put us down. Far from being a minor correction, any admissions of wrong feels like total defeat, at least in our warped way of looking at things. We can release ourselves from this bondage simply by coming to see that admitting and facing our wrongs is essential to growth. A store manager who overstocks a certain item "admits" the mistake by putting the goods on a clearance sale and getting rid of them. We can cut any loss in the same way by admitting a mistake and going on to a better course of action. I'll not plan to make any mistakes today, but I'll hold myself in readiness to admit them if they occur. This is no threat to my ego. I am much more than my mistakes. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I have come to realize that all my trouble with living has come from fear and smallness within me. --Angela L. Wozniak We create problems for ourselves because we think we need to be more than we are. We fear that we are inadequate to the task before us, fear that another woman is more attractive, fear that the friends around us are bored by our presence. Fear hinders us; it prevents full involvement with the experiences we are given to grow on. When we withdraw from a situation in order to save ourselves from failure, we have chosen instead another kind of failure: failure to take all we can from life; failure to be all that we can be. Every experience can move us forward in the understanding of ourselves. When we withdraw, we stay stuck in a world we need to leave behind. I will not fear whatever looks like trouble today. Nothing I can't handle, in fact, nothing I can't grow from will come my way today. My inner strength can see me through. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.---Eleanor Roosevelt Most of us want to be happy. We just don't know how. We aren't sure what happiness is. We've learned the hard way that some things we wanted didn't make us happy. We're learning that happiness comes when we live the way our Higher Power wants us to live. That's when we’re honest. When we do our best work. When we are a true friend. We make happiness; we don't find it. Sometimes we don't even know we're happy. We're too busy with our work, our recovery program, our friends and family. We need to slow down and know that when we do what we need to, happiness comes. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know that I'm most happy when I listen to You and do Your will. You know better than I do what makes me happy. Action for the Day: What parts of my program am I most happy about? Today I'll think of these and enjoy myself. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. p. 55 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. Also, I was having trouble getting technicians to work for me. In the past I had had my pick because I was good to work for and the projects were fun, with interesting new ideas. I always had a quick temper, but now things were getting out of hand. I would do things like beat up my desk with my chair. p. 399 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." This meant, of course, that we had been given the courage to declare each A.A. group an individual entity, strictly reliant on its own conscience as a guide to action. In charting this enormous expanse of freedom, we found it necessary to post only two storm signals: A group ought not do anything which would greatly injure A.A. as a whole, nor ought it affiliate itself with anything or anybody else. There would be real danger should we commence to call some groups "wet," others "dry," still others "Republican" or "Communist," and yet others "Catholic" or "Protestant." The A.A. group would have to stick to its course or be hopelessly lost. Sobriety had to be its sole objective. In all other respects there was perfect freedom of will and action. Every group had the right to be wrong. p. 147 ************************************************** ********* Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. --Helen Keller I came to this program to save my butt and found out it was attached to my soul. --Anonymous "How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside of us." --Park Cousins "I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." --Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965) "What we do in these rooms is we share our experience, strength, and hope. The worse it gets, the more we laugh and the better it gets, the more we cry. We call it Alcoholics Anonymous." --thanks to Norm A. for this wonderful quote In this world, nothing is permanent except change. --American Proverb All things change, and we with them. --American Proverb ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation TIME "Everything one does enough of eventually generates its own interest and one then begins to believe in it. " --Alan Dunn I never thought that I could stay sober. For years I tried to abstain with no success. It was not the act of stopping that was different ( I could stop three times in one week!). It was staying stopped. Then a man said, "Try stopping for twenty-four hours. If that proves too long, try stopping until the morning or for one hour or even for one minute . . . If the cravings gets too severe, call me but don't take that first drink!" My abstinence began in periods of twenty-four hours. Life is made up of days and we live in periods of twenty-four hours, so I live a day at a time. I was successful. I am successful. Today I have a number of years that are based on the simplicity of "don't drink today ". I believe in it. I believe in me. And it gets better. Lord of time, thank you for giving me the simplicity of days, hours and minutes. ************************************************** ********* You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3 He saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. Titus 3:5-6 You aren't alone in your trials and struggles. God is your help and strength in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Sometimes it is better to remove things from your "to do" list rather than adding to it. Lord, give me the courage to say no to the things that cause me to feel overwhelmed. Imagine that you were paid for every kindness and charged for every unkindness. Would you be rich or poor? Lord, I often pray for material wealth. Let me not neglect my soul by now praying for the ability to build my spiritual wealth also. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Sick And Tired "We wanted an easy way out.... When we did seek help we were only looking for the absence of pain." Basic Text, p. 5 Something's not working. In fact, something's been wrong for a long time, causing us pain and complicating our lives. The problem is that, at any given moment, it always appears easier to continue bearing the pain of our defects than to submit to the total upheaval involved in changing the way we live. We may long to be free of pain, but only rarely are we willing to do what's truly necessary to remove the source of pain from our lives. Most of us didn't begin seeking recovery from addiction until we were "sick and tired of being tired and sick." The same is true of the lingering character defects we've carried through our lives. Only when we can't bear our shortcomings one moment longer, only when we know that the pain of change can't be as bad as the pain we're in today, are most of us willing to try something different. Thankfully, the steps are always there, no matter what we're sick and tired of. The irony is that, as soon as we make the decision to begin the Twelve Step process, we realize our fears of change were groundless. The steps offer a gentle program of change, one step at a time. No single step is so frightening that we can't work it, by itself. As we apply the steps to our lives, we experience a change that frees us. Just for today: No matter what prevents me from living a full, happy life, I know the program can help me change, a step at a time. I need not be afraid of the Twelve Steps. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Thoughts, rest your wings. Here is a hollow of silence, a nest of stillness, in which to hatch your dreams. --Joan Walsh Anglund There is silence in the nest before an egg is hatched. The mother robin must sit quietly and warm them enough to be hatched. During this time, the mother concentrates only on her eggs. She does not let herself be distracted. There is a time of silence before anything creative is born. And there is silence in the mind before an idea is discovered. A nest is a safe place birds can always return to and be at home. We all need such a nest of silence--a place where we can be quiet and safe, where we can let ourselves be held, and rest. Often, our best ideas come out of these quiet moments. Times of silence are good for our souls. Just like the robin eggs hatching, so will dreams and solutions grow out of our own nest of stillness. How well will I use my quiet time today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. 'Remember! You're two different animals. Men and women cannot totally unite. --Pierre Mornell As we relate to women, we are often driven by needs, which no person could meet, and hampered by ignorance of what the opposite sex is really like. Perhaps we want to lose ourselves in a romantic closeness as we once lost ourselves in addiction and codependency. Then we get hurt and angry when the impossible doesn't happen. Or we fail to understand that one woman's reactions are different from our own. The dialogue between the sexes is as old as the generations. It will always be a mixture of fascination, mystery, frustration, and new understandings. When we realize we cannot merge with a woman, take her over, or be taken over by her, we will meet her as a separate person, and our relationships will become vastly more peaceful. Thanks to God for the differences. Let me learn more about them and accept them. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I have come to realize that all my trouble with living has come from fear and smallness within me. --Angela L. Wozniak We create problems for ourselves because we think we need to be more than we are. We fear that we are inadequate to the task before us, fear that another woman is more attractive, fear that the friends around us are bored by our presence. Fear hinders us; it prevents full involvement with the experiences we are given to grow on. When we withdraw from a situation in order to save ourselves from failure, we have chosen instead another kind of failure: failure to take all we can from life; failure to be all that we can be. Every experience can move us forward in the understanding of ourselves. When we withdraw, we stay stuck in a world we need to leave behind. I will not fear whatever looks like trouble today. Nothing I can't handle, in fact, nothing I can't grow from will come my way today. My inner strength can see me through. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Owning Our Power We don't have to give others so much power and ourselves so little. We don't have to give others so much credit and ourselves so little. In recovery from codependency, we learn there's a big difference between humility and discounting ourselves. When others act irresponsibly and attempt to blame their problems on us, we no longer feel guilty. We let them face their own consequences. When others talk nonsense, we don't question our own thinking. When others try to manipulate or exploit us, we know it's okay to feel anger and distrust and to say no to the plan. When others tell us that we want something that we really don't want, or someone tells us that we don't want something that we really do want, we trust ourselves. When others tell us things we don't believe, we know it's okay to trust our instincts. We can even change our mind later. We don't have to give up our personal power to anyone: strangers, friends, spouses, children, authority figures, or those over whom we're in authority. People may have things to teach us. They may have more information than we have, and may appear more confident or forceful than we feel. But we are equals. Our magic is not in them. Our magic, our light, is in us. And it is as bright a light as theirs. We are not second-class citizens. By owning our power, we don't have to become aggressive or controlling. We don't have to discount others. But we don't discount ourselves either. Today, I will own my power with people. I will let myself know what I know, feel what I feel, believe what I believe, and see what I see. I will be open to changing and learning from others and experience, but I will trust and validate myself too. I will stand in my own truth. Today I choose to go with the flow. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Why Hurry Through? Why hurry through a day, an hour, a life? Hurry never catches up with itself. It misses out. It strains. It stresses. It doesn’t trust the natural rhythm, the natural order, of the universe. Slow down. Tap into the rhythm of the world. Tap into your rhythm as you dance through life, as you dance through eternity. When you hurry, it is as if we are dancing out of step to the music. We become out of sync. Our body strains and stresses. We stop enjoying life. We are too busy hurrying, racing blindly to somewhere, anywhere. We hurry so fast that when we get there, we don’t take the time to enjoy it. We simply hurry on to the next moment. Step in time to the music– the rhythm of our soul. The rhythm will lead you where you want to go. It will take you through all the tasks that need doing. It will take you down the road to spiritual growth, healing fulfillment, and joy. And you’ll have more fun going there because you weren’t in a hurry. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Practice peace I think that change often slips in when we’re relaxed inside of ourselves. –Sark Relax. Calm yourself down. Breathe consciously. You don’t have to take a nap to relax, but sometimes it helps. So does taking a hot shower, walking through a forest, wading in a stream, drinking a cup of tea, going for a swim, watching a movie, listening to music, saying a prayer, meditating, getting a back rub, looking at the moon, or hearing a good joke. Become conscious of how your body feels when you’re rrelaxed inside. How do you stand, walk, sit, breathe? Become conscious of how you feel and what you think when you’re relaxed, It’s almost like nothingness, only you’re awake and aware. There are no angry thoughts and feelings. No frightened thoughts and feelings. Practice relaxing until you can take that relaxed feeling with you no matter where you go or what you’re doing. When’s a good time to relax? When you can’t do anything about whatever’s bothering you. When you’re afraid. When you’re certain that you have to do something, but you don’t know what that something is. When you’re meeting someone for the first time, obsessing, feeling guilty, grieving, feeling lonely, telling someone how you feel, balancing your checkbook, falling in love, getting a divorce, climbing a mountain, or learning to do something new. When you practice relaxing inside, you’re practicing peace. Practice peace until you can do it perfectly. God, help me learn to consciously relax inside of myself. ************************************************** Sharing Space and Energy Cohabitating with Others Our homes are our havens. These places where we come to rest, recharge, and dream in safety and comfort allow us to better face the challenges of the world outside our doors. When sharing a living space with others, an awareness of the thoughts and feelings of everyone involved is essential in creating the peace we all desire. Regardless of where we lived before, each time we cohabitate with others it is important that we make the effort to share the space in a way that supports everyone. We need to remember that in a shared space, everything we sense can also be sensed by another person. Peace will not likely be the result when the senses are filled with the sight of unwashed plates, intrusive sounds, unpleasant smells, the feel of a foreign substance beneath bare feet, or the taste of food tainted by an uncovered onion in the fridge. But if we communicate and listen with respect to those with whom we share a space, we may find that one enjoys washing dishes to end the day, while the other can take out the garbage during their evening walk. Working with another’s schedule, you can still meditate or exercise to your favorite music while the other is out, and save reading for the times when they are trying to sleep. Being thoughtful of the energy that is required for something to be cleaned up may make everyone aware of being neater, whether that means taking off your shoes at the entrance or wiping up juice spilled on the kitchen floor. In the same way, pent up resentment toward your living partners is just as easily felt. Keeping the energy clear requires the effort of communication, the awareness of another’s feelings, and courtesy toward the space you share. While that sometimes requires changing your schedule or habits, there are many times when having a caring someone nearby is worth all the effort. Living with others can help us learn to mingle our energies at home as well as at work and in the world at large in a way that benefits us and everyone around us. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day In the process of learning to love myself and, in turn, to love others freely with no strings attached, I've begun to understand these words of St. Augustine: "Love slays what we have been, that we may be what we were not." More and more, I feel this enormous power of such love in The Program; for me, the words, "we care," also mean, "we love." Just for today, will I try to be loving in every thought and action? Today I Pray I pray that I may feel the enormity and the power of the love I find in The Program. May my own caring be added to that great energy of love which belongs to all of us. May I care with my whole heart that my fellow members maintain their sobriety and are learning to live with it comfortably and creatively. May I never doubt that they care the same way about me. Today I Will Remember Caring makes it happen. ************************************************** One More Day All our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling. – Blaise Pascal In all our endeavors it is apparent that success is possible only with persistent effort. We must all pay the price to achieve any worthwhile goal. We shouldn’t be surprised when negative thoughts enter our minds. These thoughts do not go away easily. We have human frailties, so our thoughts are often disorganized and feelings are to subdued or excessive. Perfection is not possible no matter how hard we try. But we can search for answers. We can’t have things both ways, so we have to make choices. We can think through the trade-off before we make a choice. Whatever our choice, we should make it and accept it. Squandered chances to solve problems may be lost forever. I struggle with the same problems over and over again. Today, I resolve to start my search to find some answers. ************************************ Food For Thought Different Strokes Though we are all very much alike as compulsive overeaters, we are also individuals with individual differences. We may work the OA program differently and we may define abstinence differently. The only requirement for OA membership is the desire to stop eating compulsively. Each of us takes a separate path to that goal. Through the program, we grow more tolerant of the people who think and act differently from ourselves. We share what has worked for us, and someone else is free to take it or leave it. Our attention and concern is of value to those we would help, but we cannot prescribe for them. Some of us follow a doctor's guidelines for our eating plan. Some of us are not always willing to weigh and measure. Some of us eat smaller, more frequent meals instead of three a day. What is a binge food for one person may be perfectly fine for someone else. We are all learning how to be responsible for ourselves. No one forbids us this or gives us permission for that. Our differences are God given, and we accept each other in love. I need to be more tolerant. ***************************************** One Day At A Time STEP ONE “Well begun is half done.” Aristotle The first time I took step one I knew that I was beat. Because I knew that I was beat, I knew I had to have help to survive. I sought and accepted that help in OA. I put the program into action. I completed the twelve steps and tasted recovery. Over the years I have had to renew my step one, and each time I was convinced that I was not going to make it without the help in program. That spurred me on to complete the 12 steps many times. Step one is essentially what made me complete all twelve steps and go on to a fuller and fuller life in recovery. Without step one, there really was no need or motivation for steps two through twelve. Recently I realized that step one is particularly necessary to do step twelve. I cannot help anyone without my Higher Power. I cannot control another's program. I cannot carry the message on my own, nor can I practice the principles in all my affairs by myself. Step one -- my powerlessness and my inability to manage -- is a great blessing. It is what spurs me on to turn to my Higher Power in all tasks great and small; it is what helps me to gain more and more ground in recovery. One day at a time... I will admit my powerlessness and my inability to manage, then I will turn to God Who will take me through my program and my life - with His power and His ability to manage. ~ Q ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, psychiatrist: 'As a psychiatrist, I have thought a great deal about the relationship of my specialty to A.A. and I have come to the conclusion that our particular function can very often lie in preparing the way for the patient to accept any sort of treatment or outside help. I now conceive the psychiatrist's job to be the task of breaking down the patient's inner resistance so that which is inside him will flower, as under the activity of the A.A. program.' Pg. 569 - 4th. Ed. - Appendices III - The Medical View On A.A. Hour To Hour - Book - Quote An understanding of the false 'benefits' of mind-affecting chemicals is required so we can begin anew. An understanding of the 'tricks' of the mind to get us to use is also needed. Then we can enter into the truth. God, as I understand You, bring the light of truth to my eyes. Patience with Myself Today, I will be patient with myself. When I do not do as well as I wish I would, I will not make that a reason to get down on myself. I will instead recognize that the fastest way to bring myself out of a painful funk is through understanding and being good to myself. I needn't get caught in my own cycle of shame, resentment and blame. If a child is upset, I comfort the child because I understand that is what will makes things better. I give myself the same comfort that I would extend to a hurt child knowing that it will help me have the strength to forgive and move on. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote What comes after ninety days? Ninety-one! 'Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.' ~Will Rogers There are only two times I have to diligently work this program, the first 90 days and every day after that! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" -Book Try to live life without adding to your 8th Step list. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I choose to go with the flow. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I drank to feel comfortable with being uncomfortable. - Anon. |
June 3
Daily Reflections ON A WING AND A PRAYER . . . . we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76 Steps Four and Five were difficult, but worthwhile. Now I was stuck on Step Six and, in despair, I picked up the Big Book and read this passage. I was outside, praying for willingness, when I raised my eyes and saw a huge bird rising in the sky. I watched it suddenly give itself up to the powerful air currents of the mountains. Swept along, swooping and soaring, the bird did things seemingly impossible for mortal birds to do. It was an inspiring example of a fellow creature "letting go" to a power greater than itself. I realized that if the bird "took back his will" and tried to fly with less trust, on its power alone, it would spoil its apparent free flight. That insight granted me the willingness to pray the Seventh Step prayer. It's not easy to know God's will in each circumstance. I must search out and be ready for the currents, and that's where prayer and meditation help! Because I am, of myself, nothing, I ask God to grant me the knowledge of His will and the power and courage to carry it out - today. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Some more things I do not miss since becoming dry: running all over town to find a bar open to get that "pick-me-up"; meeting my friends and trying to cover up that I feel awful; looking at myself in a mirror and calling myself a dam* fool; struggling with myself to snap out of it for two or three days; wondering what it is all about. I'm positive I don't miss these things, am I not? Meditation For The Day Love is the power that transforms your life. Try to love your family and your friends and then try to love everybody that you possibly can, even the "sinners and publicans" everybody. Love for God is an even greater thing. it is the result of gratitude to God and it is the acknowledgment of the blessing that God has sent you. Love for God acknowledges His gifts and leaves the way open for God to shower yet more blessings on your thankful heart. Say "Thank you, God," until it becomes a habit. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may try to love God and all people. I pray that I may continually thank God for all His blessings. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Relapses--and the Group, p. 154 An early fear was that of slips or relapses. At first nearly every alcoholic we approached began to slip, if indeed he sobered up at all. Others would stay dry six months or maybe a year and then take a skid. This was always a genuine catastrophe. We would all look at each other and say, "Who next?" Today, though slips are a very serious difficulty, as a group we take them in stride. Fear has evaporated. Alcohol always threatens the individual, but we know that it cannot destroy the common welfare. << << << >> >> >> "It does not seem to pay to argue with 'slippers' about the proper method of getting dry. After all, why should people who are drinking tell people who are dry how it should be done? "Just kid the boys along--ask them if they are having fun. If they are too noisy or troublesome, amiably keep out of their way." 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 97 2. Letter, 1942 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Self-help or Mutual Aid? Assisting others. The Twelve step movement is sometimes called a self-help program. This falls short of describing what it really is. Mutual Aid might be a better term. Self-help implies that an individual will help himself or herself. Mutual aid is a much different sort of thing. With mutual aid, we do help ourselves, but we hve found that the best way to do this is by helping each other. Self-help says, "I can do it," where as mutual aid says... "WE can do it." We should not dismiss the idea of self-help or of doing one's best in achieving self-improvement. We must know, however, that we need the assistance and loving help of others for our highest growth. There are times when we will feel helpless and alone. That's when mutal aid will carry the day for us and perhaps even save our lives. I'll realize today that I have a bond with others and that I can achieve my highest good only in mutual service with them. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When I have listened to my mistakes, I have grown.---Hugh Prather Everyone makes mistakes. We all know that. So why is it so hard to admit out own? We seem to think we have to be prefect. We have a hard time looking at our mistakes. But our mistakes can be very good teachers. Our Twelve Step program helps us learn and grow from our mistakes. In Step Four, half of our work is to think of our mistakes. In step Five, we admit our mistakes to God, ourselves, and another person. We learn, we grow and become whole. All by coming to know our mistakes The gift of recovery is not being free from mistakes. Instead, we do the Steps to claim our mistakes and talk about them. We find the gift of recovery when we learn from our mistakes. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to see my mistakes as changes to get to know myself better. Action for the Day: Today I'll talk to a friend about what my mistakes taught me. Today I'll feel less shame. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Follow your dream . . . take one step at a time and don't settle for less, just continue to climb. --Amanda Bradley Dreams are common to us all. Dreams are special as well. We probably keep to ourselves many of our dreams for fear of derision or misunderstanding. Oftentimes we may have selectively shared some dreams, those we figured would get approval. The ones closest and dearest to us, the ones we feel most vulnerable about, we may choose to treasure to our hearts only, sometimes thinking, "If only you knew," sometimes wondering if we are being silly. We are coming to believe that our dreams are spirit-filled. They are gifts to encourage us. Like a ship at sea needing a "heading" to move forward, our dreams lend direction to our lives. Our frustration may be that we can't realize a dream without many steps and much time. But life is a process of steps. Success in anything comes inch by inch, stroke by stroke, step after step. My dreams today are meant to guide me. I will take a first step toward making the dream a reality. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS We can only clear the ground a bit. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail. the consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you. p. 55 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. And the most serious thing to me was that I was contemplating suicide. I had an actual plan--a plan for an accident that would raise no question in the minds of the insurance company. So in a moment of sanity, I decided it would be a good idea to seek help. If I hadn't lost my marbles, they were at the least very loose. p. 399 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." When A.A. was still young, lots of eager groups were forming. In a town we'll call Middleton, a real crackerjack had started up. The townspeople were as hot as firecrackers about it. Stargazing, the elders dreamed of innovations. They figured the town needed a great big alcoholic center, a kind of pilot plant A.A. groups could duplicate everywhere. Beginning on the ground floor there would be a club; in the second story they would sober up drunks and hand them currency for the back debts; the third deck would house an educational project - quite noncontroversial, of course. In imagination the gleaming center was to go up several stories more, but three would do for a start. This would all take a lot of money - other people's money. Believe it or not, wealthy townsfolk bought the idea. p. 147 ************************************************** ********* What we give to others, we give to ourselves. What we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves. In any moment, when we choose fear instead of love, we deny ourselves the experience of Paradise. --Marianne Williamson When we're facing challenges, the ego is very seductive in trying to get us to think thoughts about "look what's happening to me." It is our spiritual work to keep returning again and again to God and asking, "Is my heart clear? Can I see this with love? I want to go through this with God's presence." And over time, Spirit can make any mess into a miracle. --Mary Manin Morrissey Many of us grew up in dysfunctional families, because modern society is a dysfunctional place. But the spiritual journey, the path of recovery and personal growth, is a detoxification process in which we bring up and out the negative beliefs we have carried with us from the past and that now poison the present. --Marianne Williamson "Don't just do something, sit there! Sit there long enough each morning to decide what is really important during the day ahead." --Richard Eyre You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips. --Oliver Goldsmith ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DREAMS "I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." --Thomas Jefferson I am an optimist. I believe that things are getting better day by day. Today I believe that what happened yesterday need not happen today or tomorrow. Dreams can come true. I know this to be true. Today I have dreams. Today I have a hope for my life and on a daily basis it is coming true. My life is becoming more meaningful. Today my dreams have coincided with God's dream for me. Now I love myself enough to speak out for me - and it feels good. Now my decision to embrace the spiritual life is not dependent upon others. Today I can dream to be me. Help me to dream with my feet firmly on the ground. ************************************************** ********* Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11 28-30 He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Job 8:21 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The more peaceful you become, the easier time you will have living. Lord, bring my life back into perspective. You can never sincerely help others without also helping yourself. Lord, Your generosity touches every part of my life even when I least expect it. May I not let it go unnoticed and not give thanks. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Direct And Indirect Amends "We make our amends to the best of our ability." Basic Text, p. 40 The Ninth Step tells us to make direct amends wherever possible. Our experience tells us to follow up those direct amends with long - lasting changes in our attitudes and our behavior - that is, with indirect amends. For example, say we've broken someone's window because we were angry. Looking soulfully into the eyes of the person whose window we've broken and apologizing would not be sufficient. We directly amend the wrong we've done by admitting it and replacing the window - we mend what we have damaged. Then, we follow up our direct amends with indirect amends. If we've acted out on our anger, breaking someone's window, we examine the patterns of our behavior and our attitudes. After we repair the broken window, we seek to repair our broken attitudes as well - we try to "mend our ways." We modify our behavior, and make a daily effort not to act out on our anger. We make direct amends by repairing the damage we do. We make indirect amends by repairing the attitudes that cause us to do damage in the first place, helping insure we won't cause further damage in the future. Just for today: I will make direct amends, wherever possible. I will also make indirect amends, "mending my ways," changing my attitudes, and altering my behavior. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Men will find that they can prepare with mutual aid far more easily what they need and avoid far more easily the perils which beset them on all sides, by united forces. --Baruch Spinoza Three travelers stopped in a small town on their way to the city. They had tents to sleep in, but no food or money. They knocked on doors asking for a little food, but the people were poor, with little to eat and nothing to spare. Cheerfully, they returned to their camp and built a fire. "What are you doing?" asked a bystander, "Building a fire with nothing to cook?" "But we do have something to cook!" they said. "Our favorite dish, stone soup. We only need a pot." "I think I can find one," said one of the bystanders, and she ran home to fetch it. When she returned, the travelers filled the pot with water and placed two large stones in it. "This will be the finest soup we've ever made!" said the first traveler. "I agree," said the second, "but don't you think it would taste better with a cabbage in it?" "I think I can find one," said another bystander. And so it went the whole afternoon until, by evening, the travelers had a hearty, fragrant feast, which they shared with the hungry townspeople. What can I do with help today, that I couldn't do alone? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Almost anything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. --Mohandas Gandhi Looking back at yesterday, looking at today, what sense do we have of progress in our growth? Probably nothing very significant. Sometimes it is amazing how little a person can accomplish in a day's efforts. Yet, what alternative do we have? Only that we could do nothing. Or worse, we could return to our old ways. Gandhi, one of the greatest spiritual leaders of the twentieth century, said he felt that almost anything one can do will be insignificant. Yet to do something is very important. Each day, each chance is small but takes us in a direction. When we look back over the last month or last year, we may see that only remaining faithful to our program, one day at a time, has carried us a very long way. The kind of person we each become is just as important as what we accomplish in the world around us. May I learn to have patience with the insignificant moments in the present. They are very important indeed. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Follow your dream . . . take one step at a time and don't settle for less, just continue to climb. --Amanda Bradley Dreams are common to us all. Dreams are special as well. We probably keep to ourselves many of our dreams for fear of derision or misunderstanding. Oftentimes we may have selectively shared some dreams, those we figured would get approval. The ones closest and dearest to us, the ones we feel most vulnerable about, we may choose to treasure to our hearts only, sometimes thinking, "If only you knew," sometimes wondering if we are being silly. We are coming to believe that our dreams are spirit-filled. They are gifts to encourage us. Like a ship at sea needing a "heading" to move forward, our dreams lend direction to our lives. Our frustration may be that we can't realize a dream without many steps and much time. But life is a process of steps. Success in anything comes inch by inch, stroke by stroke, step after step. My dreams today are meant to guide me. I will take a first step toward making the dream a reality. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Charity We need healthy boundaries about receiving money, and we need healthy boundaries about giving money. Some of us give money for inappropriate reasons. We may be ashamed because we have money and don't believe we deserve it. We may belong to an organization that uses shame as a form of control to coerce us out of our money that the organization wants. We can get hooked into giving money to our children, family members, or friends because we have earned or unearned guilt. We allow ourselves to be financially black mailed, sometimes by the people we love. This is not money freely given, or given in health. Some of us give money out of a sense of caretaking. We may have exaggerated feelings of responsibility for others, including financial responsibility. We may be giving simply because we have not learned to own our power to say no when the answer is no. Some of us give because we hope or believe people will love us if we take care of them financially. We do not have to give money to anyone. Giving money is our choice. We do not have to allow ourselves to be victimized, manipulated, or coerced out of our money. We are financially responsible for ourselves. Part of being healthy is allowing those around us to be financially responsible for themselves. We do not have to be ashamed about having the money that we earn; we deserve to have the money we have been given--whatever the amount, without feeling obligated to give it all away, or guilty because others want what we have. Charity is a blessing. Giving is part of healthy living. We can learn to develop healthy boundaries around giving. Today, I will strive to begin developing healthy boundaries about giving money. I understand that giving is my choice. This morning and evening I will take the time I need to be still and hear God's will for me. This thought alone brings me peace. This commitment brings me serenity. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Transcend Your Judgements “Not judging people is really a practical issue,” a friend explained. “Everybody does something they could be judged for. If we start judging, we’ll spend all our time doing that.” My friend was right. But not judging is more than a practical matter, it is a spiritual issue as well. I used to spend a lot of time judging other people. I used to think the world was divided into right and wrong. I thought judging others would help me stay clear on the difference; I thought judging was my job. Now I’ve learned something new about judgements and about myself. Judging others is what I do when I feel afraid, insecure, and limited. Judging others is something I do when I am afraid to love, when I can’t accept love because I can’t accept myself. And most important, I’ve learned that judging others is not my job. When I judge others, I judge myself. Yes, there are issues we need to work on. Many of us have quirks we may live with most or all of our lives. But judging doesn’t help. Judgements limit us. Judgements condemn. They say, My past is not as it should be. I’m wrong. My life is wrong. Judgements put us in prison, no matter where we are. Judgements come from the head. Freedom and love come from the heart. Transcending judgements will set you free. Learn to look at yourself in love– who you are, where you are, where you’ve been. Learn to look at others with love,too. When we accept others with freedom and love, we accept ourselves. Judgements put up barriers. Transcend your judgements, and you’ll be free. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say relax when you start to worry Sometimes we tire ourselves out before we have even begun. We struggle and wrestle with our spirit before finally consenting, giving in, and deciding to walk our path. Then when we start, we wonder why we’re so tired. Why do these things happen to me? What will happen if I try this idea? Where will I go if she leaves me? How will I live without him? What if I don’t do it right? What if? The path is sometimes uphill. Walk up the hill. Sometimes we have to go around an obstacle. Go around it. When we spend time and energy fussing, complaining, and questioning the road before us, we rob energy from ourselves– energy that could be better spent on the journey. Relax. Accept the path before you. A flat path would be boring. If we could see all the way to the end of the road from where we are standing, then what would be the point of walking it? Quit fighting the journey and start enjoying it. God, keep me from the exhausting practice of worry and resentment. Let me trust in you and the universe. ************************************************** Focusing Our Energy Fulfilling Energetic Investments by Madisyn Taylor Being fully present with all that we are, we can experience each choice fully and make the most fulfilling choices. As modern life makes a wealth of information and opportunities available to us, we may find ourselves torn between a wide variety of interests and projects. Our excitement may entice us to try all of them at once, but doing so only diffuses our energy, leaving us unable to fully experience any of them. Like an electrical socket with too many things plugged into it, we may be in danger of overheating and burning out. But if we can choose one thing at a time to focus all of our attention upon, we can make the most of our life-force energy, engaging ourselves fully in the moment so that it can nurture us in return. Our attention can be pulled in many directions, not only in our own lives, but by advertising, media, and the hustle and bustle of our surroundings. But when we take the time to listen to our inner guidance and focus our thoughts on the goals that resonate the most strongly within us, the rest of the world will fade away. This may mean focusing the spotlight of our attention upon developing one aspect of our work, one course of study, or one hobby to pursue in our free time, but it doesn’t mean that we have to stay focused on only one thing forever. We may never know which of our interests is best suited to our abilities and heart’s desires unless we give it a proper chance. By being fully present with all that we are and all that we have, we can experience each choice fully and make the most fulfilling choices for our energetic investments. Because we are multi-faceted beings, we are perpetually involved in many aspects of life in every moment. Our work in the world is necessary to attend to our physical needs, and our relationships are important for our emotional needs, but when we engage our spirit as well, we can choose the area that will nurture body, mind and soul. Staying focused in each moment allows us move with the rhythmic flow of the universe and harmonize all aspects of our being into balanced whole. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** One More Day There are no gains without pain. – Adlai Stevenson Parents often are surprised that their children seem to change before their very eyes. The same is true in how we deal with each day. It was frightening when we experienced the toppling of many parts of our lives which had given us comfort and which we had expected to continue to comfort us. We may have initially thought that we’d never be able to reconstruct a productive life. But we have been able to rebuild our lives. Like toddlers, we have taken a few small steps forward each day. Day after day, we’ve strengthened ourselves by making steady, but small, advances. Step by step we’ve re-created our lives, often without recognizing our growth. Then, suddenly, we look at our lives, and we are amazed at how far we’ve come. Amazed — and proud. Today, I will take time to measure my growth, both emotionally and spiritually. ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, “wrote Thomas Merton, “we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” As I replace my self-destructive addictions, with a healthy dependence on The Program and its Twelve Steps, I’m finding that the barriers of silence and hatred are melting away. By accepting each other as we are, we have learned again to love. Do I care enough about others in The Program to continue working with them as long as necessary? Today I Pray May I be selfless enough to love people as they are, not as I want them to be, as they mirror my image or feed my ego. May I slow down in my eagerness to love — now that I am capable of feeling love again — and ask myself if I really love someone or only that someone’s idea of me. May I remove the “self” from my loving. Today I Will Remember Love is unconditional. ************************************ Food For Thought A Democratic Disease There is nothing snobbish about our disease. It attacks individuals of every social and economic group. In OA, we meet the young and the old, male and female, rich and poor. One of the amazing things about an OA meeting is that it brings together in meaningful communication people from very disparate backgrounds. Even the generation gap closes when a common problem is the focus of genuine concern. Thanks to OA, we experience warm fellowship. Perhaps for the first time, we come together with other people in a situation where game playing and ego building are at a minimum. To be accepted for what we are and as we are is a healing experience. We may take off our masks and let down our defenses since we do not need to try to impress anyone in OA. As children of God, who happen to be compulsive overeaters, we are all equal. We give thanks for OA. ***************************************** One Day At A Time EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE “Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.” Aldous Huxley Every day is filled with experiences. I can choose to let them pass me by, or I can allow myself to learn lessons from them. It is easy to let the day pass by quickly and virtually unlived. If I refuse to stay in the present moment and choose rather to be filled with resentment, stuck in the past, filled with fear, or stuck in the future, life truly does pass me by. My experience truly has no value. But if I choose to learn lessons, stay in the present moment, and remain connected to my Higher Power, my day becomes experience, strength and hope. Since coming to the program I have learned that I can share my experience, strength and hope in so many ways. A call to or from an OA friend gives me an opportunity to give and receive experience, strength and hope. I hear experience, strength and hope shared daily as I attend meetings. People share not only what has happened to them, but the great lessons that they have allowed their Higher Power to teach them. This is such an honor to be part of, an honor that I would not want to miss. I give and receive my experience, strength and hope on the loops where I share -- and receive shares -- on a daily basis. I am blessed to be a part of strong loops with great recovery and sharing. My sponsors frequently share their experience, strength and hope with me. I am privileged to have two sponsors with quality recovery who are members of The Recovery Group. I am so grateful for their input in my life and recovery. They have been such an important part of my life lessons. Every source of experience, strength and hope in my life gives me more encouragement to learn new lessons with every experience I have every day. One day at a time... I will find every opportunity to share my experience, strength and hope. ~ Carolyn H. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Many could recover if they had the opportunity we have enjoyed. How then shall we present that which has been so freely given us? We have concluded to publish an anonymous volume setting forth the problem as we see it. We shall bring to task our combined experience and knowledge. This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem. - Pg. 19 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The whole of our first year is a withdrawal period. This is a condition of chaos: chaotic emotions, chaotic thoughts, chaotic family situations, chaotic desires. But we take one step at a time, one hour at a time and the chaos eventually calms. I know everything changes and the chaos will pass in these changes as long as I don't use mind-affecting chemicals. Blaming Others Today, I understand that dumping blame on someone else does not relieve pain or make my life better in any way. If I reach out to others by attacking and blaming them, how can I expect them to hear anything that I say? If I want to be heard, I need to risk being see -- not as I wish to be seen but as I am. I ask too much of someone else when I say obnoxious things and yet insist on being heard. If I really want someone to understand me, I need to risk being vulnerable and let me feelings show. Pointing a finger at someone else will only make them want to point a finger at me. It is hard to feel vulnerable, but with practice, it will become easier. I will be left with more of my real self if I don't tear at the self of someone else. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Rather than getting even with those that hurt you, the challenge is to get even with those that help you. I can't be resentful and grateful at the same time. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book One way to tell how well you're practicing the principles in all of your affairs is to notice how you treat people who can be of no service to you. Time for Joy - Book - Quote This morning and evening I will take the time I need to be still and hear God's will for me. This thought alone brings me peace. This commitment brings me serenity. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote You take alcohol out of my life and living with my mind is like traveling cross country in a van full of eight year olds who have overdosed on sugar.. and none of them like you. - Bob D. |
June 4
Daily Reflections LETTING GO OF OUR OLD SELVES Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. . . . Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 75, 76 The Sixth Step is the last "preparation" Step. Although I have already used prayer extensively, I have made no formal request of my Higher Power in the first Six Steps. I have identified my problem, come to believe that there is a solution, made a decision to seek this solution, and have "cleaned house." I now ask: Am I willing to live a life of sobriety, of change, to let go of my old self? I must determine if I am truly ready to change. I review what I have done and become willing for God to remove all my defects of character; for in the next Step, I will tell my Creator I am willing and will ask for help. If I have been thorough in the preparation of my foundation and feel that I am willing to change, I am then ready to continue with the next Step. "If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76) ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Some things I like since becoming dry: feeling good in the morning; full use of my intelligence; joy in my work; the love and trust of my children; lack of remorse; the confidence of my friends; the prospect of a happy future; the appreciation of the beauties of nature; knowing what it is all about. I'm sure that I like these things, am I not? Meditation For The Day Molding your life means cutting and shaping your material into something good, something that can express the spiritual. All material things are the clay out of which we mold something spiritual. You must first recognize the selfishness in your desires and motives, actions and words, and then mold that selfishness until it is sublimated into a spiritual weapon for good. As the work of molding proceeds, you see more and more clearly what must be done to mold your life into something better. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may mold my life into something useful and good. I pray that I may not be discouraged by the slow progress that I make. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Built by the One and the Many, p. 155 We give thanks to our Heavenly Father, who, through so many friends and through so many means and channels, has allowed us to construct this wonderful edifice of the spirit in which we are now dwelling--this cathedral whose foundations already rest upon the corners of the earth. On its great floor we have inscribed our Twelve Steps of recovery. On the side walls, the buttresses of the A.A. Traditions have been set in place to contain us in unity for as long as God may will it so. Eager hearts and hands have lifted the spire of our cathedral into its place. That spire bears the name of service. May it ever point straight upward toward God. << << << >> >> >> "It is not only to the few that we owe the remarkable developments in our unity and in our ability to carry A.A.'s message everywhere. It is to the many, indeed, it is to the labors of all of us that we owe these prime blessings." 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 234 2. Talk, 1959 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Needing to receive credit Humility "Is it wrong to want credit for the good things I do?" a person asked at a 12 Step meeting. "Why do people say my ego is showing just because I feel I should get proper credit?" We should, indeed, receive the right amount of praise and recognition for the good things we do. We have to remember, however, that we're trying to get this from human beings... many of whom are poorly informed or indifferent. Whatever credit we receive will be influenced by others perceptions. Sometimes we will be praised too lavishly: at other times, insufficiently. But the real question is not whether others give us the right amount of praise or credit. The question we should really ask is why we need such recognition. If we are doing a good thing or have made progress, isn't that sufficient reward? What can receiving credit do for us that we do not already have? I'll take as my guide today the belief that right action is its own reward. I do not need credit or recognition from others, although I'll appreciate it if it comes. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We cannot solve life's problems except by solving them.---M. Scott Peck Before getting into the program, we ran from problems at all costs. As time went on, we had more problems. As our problems grew, we became afraid of life. The program---the Twelve Steps---teaches us how to face and solve our problem. We stop running and stand up to problems. That way, life's problems scare us less and less over time. In fact, life's problems help us better know our Higher Power and ourselves. We now know our Higher Power is with us every step of the way. Prayer for the Day: I pray for the courage to stand and face life's problems. I pray for the wisdom to ask my Higher Power for help. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list all problems I now have. I will talk about them with friends and with my Higher Power. I will make plans to solve them (sometimes solving problems means accepting them). ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. --Anne Frank Happiness feels so close and yet so far away. Perhaps we look to a person for it, or to a job, or a new winter coat. We deserve happiness, we know. Yet, we learn so slowly that happiness can only be found within. The person leaves; the job goes sour; the new coat is quickly out of style. Elusive, all of them. But the happiness that comes from knowing who we are and how our lives fit in the grand design of the Creator, never eludes us. We are one of a kind. And there is no other who can offer to the world of friends just what each of us can. We are needed, and knowing that, really knowing it, brings happiness. Before we found this program, we no doubt failed to realize our worth. We can celebrate it now. We can glory in our worth, our specialness, and we can cherish the design. We can cherish our parts and cherish the part each other person plays. Combined, we are as one big orchestra. The conductor reads the music and directs the movements. Being in tune with the conductor feels good. I can call it happiness. All I need do is play my part. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist. His story is so interesting that some of it should be told now. His change of heart was dramatic, convincing, and moving. Our friend was a minister’s son. He attended church school, where he became rebellious at what he thought an overdose of religious education. For years thereafter he was dogged by trouble and frustration. Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide—these calamities in his immediate family embittered and depressed him. Post-war disillusionment, ever more serious alcoholism, impending mental and physical collapse, brought him to the point to self-destruction. pp. 55-56 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. So my wife and I found a psychiatric social worker at the local Jewish Family Services agency. She saw us as a couple, then individually, then together, and so it went. When we were together, we worked on our interpersonal problems. When I saw her by myself, she would talk about drinking. I don't know why she kept bringing it up. I drank, but not that much. I never even mentioned my drinking except maybe to say, "Yes, I do drink," when she asked. It wasn't the problem--the other things were. One day she read me some questions from a pamphlet, which I answered honestly. She concluded that maybe I drank too much, and we talked about that for several sessions. p. 399 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." There were, though, a few conservative dissenters among the alcoholics. the wrote the Foundation*, A.A.'s headquarters in New York, wanting to know about this sort of streamlining. They understood that the elders, just to nail things down good, were about to apply to the Foundation for a charter. These few were disturbed and skeptical. *In 1954, The name of the Alcoholic Foundation, Inc. was changed to the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous, Inc. and the Foundation office is now the General Service Office. p. 148 ************************************************** ********* You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle. --Paulo Coelho You're never fully dressed without a smile! --Anon God gets our attention in a lot of different ways. For a great many of us, it was through accident or illness, coming close to death. All of us come to this program frightened for our life or our sanity or both. God has our attention. And now we are learning about the spiritual aspect of our life, the one we had so long neglected. Now we are partaking of God's love---soul food---and discovering that the spiritual life is fuller and more rewarding than anything we thought possible. Nothing we do to please our body can compare to the joy of unconditional love. When we lend a loving hand to anyone, we realize once again that the pain we suffered was worth it to bring us to this awareness. Today I will look for ways to help others----and bless my soul! --Passing It On "We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery." --Samuel Smiles Some tension is necessary for the soul to grow, and we can put that tension to good use. We can look for every opportunity to give and receive love, to appreciate nature, to heal our wounds and the wounds of others, to forgive, and to serve. --Joan Borysenko A life lived in love, goodness, and oneness with God is a life full of joy. A soul that lives such a life is a soul that grows ever more beautiful. May your life be joyous then and may your soul’s beauty shine on forever. --Joseph J. Mazzella The soul is made of love and must ever strive to return to love. Therefore, it can never find rest nor happiness in other things. It must lose itself in love. By its very nature it must seek God, who is love. --Mechthild of Magdenburg ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PROFIT "What is a man to profit if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" --Jesus (Mt. 16:26) Spirituality brings with it a sense of priority in my life: first things first. Unless I discover me and have a love and respect for me, I have nothing to offer in this world. I am the center of my universe and through my life God is radiated. I am a part of God's creative plan and the pleasures of this world must be seen as secondary to my developing a right relationship with God. My disease of obsession and compulsion wants me to place other things at the center of my life: food, alcohol, drugs, people, money, success, achievement and ego. My spiritual program reminds me that my love of self is shown in my refusal of the first drink. If I am healthy, I can have the world; without me, I can have nothing! Let me find Your Kingdom that is within. ************************************************** ********* Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help." You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:1-3;10-12 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The more you think about the little difficulties in life, the bigger they become and still nothing is resolved. Lord, may I let go of those problems that I cannot solve and resolve quickly those things that I can. It is important to remember that different can be better. Lord, as I resist change and cling to the familiar, help me to remember that Your plan is perfect and will truly make me happy. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Build, Don't Destroy "Our negative sense of self has been replaced by a positive concern for others." Basic Text, p. 16 Spreading gossip feeds a dark hunger in us. Sometimes we think the only way we can feel good about ourselves is to make someone else look bad by comparison. But the kind of self-esteem that can be purchased at another's expense is hollow and not worth the price. How, then, do we deal with our negative sense of self? Simple. We replace it with a positive concern for others. Rather than dwell on our low self-esteem, we turn to those around us and seek to be of service to them. This may seem to be a way of avoiding the issue, but it's not. There's nothing we can do by dwelling on our low sense of self except work ourselves into a stew of self-pity. But by replacing our self-pity with active, loving concern for others, we become the kind of people we can respect. The way to build our self-esteem is not to tear others down, but to build them up through love and positive concern. To help us with this, we can ask ourselves if we are contributing to the problem or to the solution. Today, we can choose to build instead of destroy. Just for today: Though I may be feeling low, I don't need to tear someone down to build myself up. Today, I will replace my negative sense of self with a positive concern for others. I will build, not destroy. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. "Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round! Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by everybody minding their own business. Ah well! It means much the same thing." --Lewis Carroll No one helps a caterpillar become a butterfly. First it must crawl through the leaves as a many-legged creature, and then it weaves its own cocoon. Nature does its slow, daily work inside the cocoon and one day a butterfly emerges--and each butterfly is a different shape and color. No other creature can step in and speed up this process without hurting the butterfly. Sometimes we humans confuse love with playing the part of God. We think we can speed up the natural growth of people around us. We interfere by telling them to do what we think best. Sometimes the greatest love we can offer is to accept our loved ones the way they are. We need to remember that each caterpillar weaves a cocoon in its own time and becomes a butterfly in its own way. The wisdom of the universe is greater than our own. How will I show my acceptance of others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I will thank you because I am marvelously made; your works are wonderful, and I know it well. ---Psalms 139:14 Some days we feel bad about ourselves. Perhaps there is no real reason except a mood has come over us. Moodiness is a remnant of our past. Or perhaps we feel guilty or ashamed or hurt. We feel blue. We feel grouchy toward ourselves or toward others around us and the world. This is a time to turn it over to our Higher Power. We are children of the universe. We are loved. Our Creator has endowed us with marvelous strengths and potentials. Today may be a day we allow ourselves to be carried along by the love of our Higher Power. If we reach out we will feel the presence of the spirit in our contact with other people. We need not try so hard. We only need to pray for openness within ourselves to feel the love of God. I pray for help today to renew the feeling within that God loves me and never abandons me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. --Anne Frank Happiness feels so close and yet so far away. Perhaps we look to a person for it, or to a job, or a new winter coat. We deserve happiness, we know. Yet, we learn so slowly that happiness can only be found within. The person leaves; the job goes sour; the new coat is quickly out of style. Elusive, all of them. But the happiness that comes from knowing who we are and how our lives fit in the grand design of the Creator, never eludes us. We are one of a kind. And there is no other who can offer to the world of friends just what each of us can. We are needed, and knowing that, really knowing it, brings happiness. Before we found this program, we no doubt failed to realize our worth. We can celebrate it now. We can glory in our worth, our specialness, and we can cherish the design. We can cherish our parts and cherish the part each other person plays. Combined, we are as one big orchestra. The conductor reads the music and directs the movements. Being in tune with the conductor feels good. I can call it happiness. All I need do is play my part. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Trusting God A married couple, friends of mine, decided to make some changes in their living situation. They had always lived in the city, and now they decided they wanted to live in the country, on a lake. They found a small, lake home. It wasn't the house of their dreams, but when they sold their city home, they would have money to remodel it. They had saved some money, so they moved into their lake home before selling their city home. One year passed, and the city home didn't sell. My friends went through many changes during this time. They had times of patience and impatience. Some days they trusted God; other days they couldn't figure out why God was making them wait so long, why God wouldn't let them move forward with their plan. The doors just wouldn't swing wide open. One day, a neighbor came to visit my friends. His home on the lake was my friends' dream home - everything they wanted, plus more. The first time my friends saw this house, they admired it, wishing they could have a home just like it, but then they forgot about the idea. They didn't believe it could ever be possible. The reason the neighbor came to visit my friends was that he and his wife had decided to move. He offered my friends the first option on purchasing his home. My friends accepted his offer, and signed a purchase agreement. Within two months, they sold their city home and their small but adequate lake home. A short time later, they moved into the home of their dreams. Sometimes, we experience times of frustration in our life. We believe we're on track, trusting God and ourselves, yet things don't work out. We have false starts and stops. The door refuses to swing wide open. We may wonder if God has abandoned us, or doesn't care. We may not understand where we're going, or what our direction is. Then one day we see: the reason we didn't get what we wanted was because God had something much better planned for us. Today, I will practice patience. I will ask, and trust, my Higher Power to send me His best. This day is full of miracle. They are right in front of me on my path. Today I have all the courage to let go of all that is holding me back so that I can step forward and experience each miracle that is waiting for me. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Joy Find You Somewhere along my journey it happened. Quietly, imperceptibly, almost without my knowing it. I relaxed. Got comfortable with myself. I began enjoying myself, accepting life. Liking life. I found joy. Somewhere along your journey it will happen to you. Joy is a gift. It appears imperceptibly, without warning, like a morning sunrise lighting our bedroom while we sleep. And it is almost as predictable. Keep doing the activities that bring healing and growth into your life. Keep loving yourself. Keep walking your path. Continue loving. Don’t worry about finding joy. Because somewhere along your journey, joy will find you. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Stop trying so hard Stop trying to force and make things happen. Don’t you see that by pushing so hard, you’re sabotaging yourself. There’s another way, a better way. Surrender– not to the way you want things to be, but to the way things are, right now. Sometimes that means we surrender to loneliness, defeat, confusion, and helplessness. Sometimes that means we don’t get what we want today. Instead we get what we have today. We’re not in control of many things and circumstances in this world. By forcing things, we often disconnect from our true power, instead of aligning with it. Maybe something has to happen first, before you can get what you want or do what you want. Maybe there’s an important lesson you’re trying to skip. Maybe it’s not time. Stop trying so hard to push and force, to make it happen. Stop trying to do the impossible, and instead do what you can do– surrender to the way things are. Then watch how naturally the impossible falls into place. God, help me stop trying so hard to force things into place. Help me remember that all is well. ************************************************** Growing Your Own Food Flavors of Life by Madisyn Taylor When we grow our food, we participate more fully in nature’s cycles and form a closer bond with Mother Earth. Growing a garden of food at home is an experience anyone can enjoy. Even a hanging basket of rosemary or a cherry tomato plant in a pot on the windowsill can enhance your connection with the cycle of life. If you have space outdoors, the green and blooming colors of the edible delights you are growing will decorate any view while tempting you to enjoy the outdoors. The edible plants we nurture allow us to literally taste the fruits (or vegetables or herbs) of our labor while helping us more consciously participate in the circulating energy of nature. Allow yourself to begin slowly and simply, so that you can learn to dance with nature’s intricate orchestrations. There are many experienced gardeners out there to assist you as you choose seeds or small plants to start your garden. As you learn to heed the seasons, soil, sun, frost, and shade, you become more than a mere spectator of life’s cycle. Instead, you step into the role of cocreator and enhance what you nurture. No matter how large or small the size of your garden, you can benefit from growing your own organic, fresh, and nutritious food while also reveling in the depth of flavor and texture that comes from plants that have been well-tended, nurtured, and loved. As we appreciate the food we’ve grown, we can recognize the care that farmers put into the produce most of us buy at the supermarket. With this new understanding, we can acknowledge the roles other living creatures fill as participants in cultivating the cycle of life. We may even learn to peacefully coexis! t with the animals and insects that share perhaps too great an interest in our garden. When we grow our food, we participate more fully in nature’s cycles and form a closer bond with Mother Earth. Knowing how to grow your own food allows for a sense of freedom and pride that you can feed and provide for yourself, one of the most basic necessities. Gratitude may fill us as we marvel at the beauty of nature and the majesty of the universe that orchestrates such natural wonders. When we allow our appreciation of life to expand, we harvest so much more than food and the taste is that much sweeter. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day "It seems to me," wrote AA co-founder Bill W., "that the primary object of any human being is to grow, as God intended, that being the nature of all growing things. Our search must be for what reality we can find, which includes the best definition and feeling of love that we can acquire. If the capability of loving is in the human being, then it must surely be in his Creator." Will I pray today not so much to be loved, as to love? Today I Pray God grant me the patience of a lifetime in my search for the best answer to the question, "What is love?" May I know that the definition will come to me in snatches as I live life's several roles - as child, lover, parent, teacher, friend, spiritual being. May I be grateful for my experience as a chemically dependent person, which adds a special dimension to the meaning of love. Today I Will Remember All love reflects God's love. ************************************ Food For Thought Avoiding Extremes The Greek ideal of the golden mean is a concept, which we would do well to ponder. Most of us are extremists, as evidenced by our compulsiveness. We are all or nothing people, and our histories are full of times when we "couldn't believe we ate the whole thing." Before coming to OA, many of us alternated between starving and bingeing. Either we attempted a diet so limited and stringent that it was impossible to follow for very long, or we indulged our appetites by eating everything that did not move. OA endorses the practice of moderation. Learning it is difficult for most of us and something, which we have been unable to do by ourselves. The members who maintain their abstinence and have a strong program serve as guides and sponsors for those of us who are beginners. Old and new, all of us rely every day on our Higher Power to lead us in the way of moderation. May I avoid extremes and learn moderation. ***************************************** One Day At A Time FOURTH STEP SECRETS “These are weighty secrets and we must whisper them.” Sarah Chauncey Woolsey (Susan Coolidge) When I came to the Recovery Group, I was wearing the pain of a lifetime of well-kept secrets - secrets about a childhood of poverty and secrets about a difficult marriage. No one ever saw my secret pain; I never shared it with anyone. But all could see the effects of the food I used as a coping mechanism. Because of my willingness "to do whatever it takes," I shared these secrets with the person who took my 5th step. I later shared it with my sponsor and some of them later with a sponsee during her 5th step. Sharing this pain the first two times was like the bursting of a painful abscess, with poison being released. The poison that kept me living in resentful, negative thinking has been gradually replaced with gratitude for what I had and now have, and with the ability to experience joy in my many, many blessings. One day at a time... I will experience gratitude for the gifts I was given in my 4th and 5th steps and for the gifts of this program. ~ Karen A. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. - Pg. 34 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Vengeance sometimes seems the only way to get back at who've hurt us. But we've found the best vengeance is living well, practicing our principles, and letting our Higher Power take care of the offenders. May I recognize and internalize that vengeance is an attribute of addiction, not recovery. Releasing of Perfectionism Today, I will not demand that my life be perfect in order for me to love it, nor will I demand that all my relationships be perfect for me to value and respect them. If I try to make my life and relationships perfect, I will be constantly engaged in a neurotic battle with my transitory illusion of perfection. There is no such thing as an ideal, and to insist that life be ideal is to miss the forest for the trees. I will not condemn myself to the constant feeling that I have drawn the short straw. Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder -- it is subjective. I will not ask the moment to be more than the moment -- I will not be conditional in my love. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Humility is not so much thinking less of yourself as it is thinking of yourself less. True humility is accepting myself without embellishment and without embarrassment. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You need newcomers to tell you where you came from; old-timers, to tell you where you could go, and a sponsor to tell you where you are at. Time for Joy - Book - Quote This day is full of miracle. They are right in front of me on my path. Today I have all the courage to let go of all that is holding me back so that I can step forward and experience each miracle that is waiting for me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I was half Irish and half Scot. It was A real dilemma in my life; one half of me wanted to get drunk all the time and the other half didn't want to pay for it. - Tom M. June 4 Daily Reflections LETTING GO OF OUR OLD SELVES Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last. . . . Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 75, 76 The Sixth Step is the last "preparation" Step. Although I have already used prayer extensively, I have made no formal request of my Higher Power in the first Six Steps. I have identified my problem, come to believe that there is a solution, made a decision to seek this solution, and have "cleaned house." I now ask: Am I willing to live a life of sobriety, of change, to let go of my old self? I must determine if I am truly ready to change. I review what I have done and become willing for God to remove all my defects of character; for in the next Step, I will tell my Creator I am willing and will ask for help. If I have been thorough in the preparation of my foundation and feel that I am willing to change, I am then ready to continue with the next Step. "If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76) ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Some things I like since becoming dry: feeling good in the morning; full use of my intelligence; joy in my work; the love and trust of my children; lack of remorse; the confidence of my friends; the prospect of a happy future; the appreciation of the beauties of nature; knowing what it is all about. I'm sure that I like these things, am I not? Meditation For The Day Molding your life means cutting and shaping your material into something good, something that can express the spiritual. All material things are the clay out of which we mold something spiritual. You must first recognize the selfishness in your desires and motives, actions and words, and then mold that selfishness until it is sublimated into a spiritual weapon for good. As the work of molding proceeds, you see more and more clearly what must be done to mold your life into something better. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may mold my life into something useful and good. I pray that I may not be discouraged by the slow progress that I make. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Built by the One and the Many, p. 155 We give thanks to our Heavenly Father, who, through so many friends and through so many means and channels, has allowed us to construct this wonderful edifice of the spirit in which we are now dwelling--this cathedral whose foundations already rest upon the corners of the earth. On its great floor we have inscribed our Twelve Steps of recovery. On the side walls, the buttresses of the A.A. Traditions have been set in place to contain us in unity for as long as God may will it so. Eager hearts and hands have lifted the spire of our cathedral into its place. That spire bears the name of service. May it ever point straight upward toward God. << << << >> >> >> "It is not only to the few that we owe the remarkable developments in our unity and in our ability to carry A.A.'s message everywhere. It is to the many, indeed, it is to the labors of all of us that we owe these prime blessings." 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 234 2. Talk, 1959 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Needing to receive credit Humility "Is it wrong to want credit for the good things I do?" a person asked at a 12 Step meeting. "Why do people say my ego is showing just because I feel I should get proper credit?" We should, indeed, receive the right amount of praise and recognition for the good things we do. We have to remember, however, that we're trying to get this from human beings... many of whom are poorly informed or indifferent. Whatever credit we receive will be influenced by others perceptions. Sometimes we will be praised too lavishly: at other times, insufficiently. But the real question is not whether others give us the right amount of praise or credit. The question we should really ask is why we need such recognition. If we are doing a good thing or have made progress, isn't that sufficient reward? What can receiving credit do for us that we do not already have? I'll take as my guide today the belief that right action is its own reward. I do not need credit or recognition from others, although I'll appreciate it if it comes. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We cannot solve life's problems except by solving them.---M. Scott Peck Before getting into the program, we ran from problems at all costs. As time went on, we had more problems. As our problems grew, we became afraid of life. The program---the Twelve Steps---teaches us how to face and solve our problem. We stop running and stand up to problems. That way, life's problems scare us less and less over time. In fact, life's problems help us better know our Higher Power and ourselves. We now know our Higher Power is with us every step of the way. Prayer for the Day: I pray for the courage to stand and face life's problems. I pray for the wisdom to ask my Higher Power for help. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list all problems I now have. I will talk about them with friends and with my Higher Power. I will make plans to solve them (sometimes solving problems means accepting them). ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. --Anne Frank Happiness feels so close and yet so far away. Perhaps we look to a person for it, or to a job, or a new winter coat. We deserve happiness, we know. Yet, we learn so slowly that happiness can only be found within. The person leaves; the job goes sour; the new coat is quickly out of style. Elusive, all of them. But the happiness that comes from knowing who we are and how our lives fit in the grand design of the Creator, never eludes us. We are one of a kind. And there is no other who can offer to the world of friends just what each of us can. We are needed, and knowing that, really knowing it, brings happiness. Before we found this program, we no doubt failed to realize our worth. We can celebrate it now. We can glory in our worth, our specialness, and we can cherish the design. We can cherish our parts and cherish the part each other person plays. Combined, we are as one big orchestra. The conductor reads the music and directs the movements. Being in tune with the conductor feels good. I can call it happiness. All I need do is play my part. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS In this book you will read the experience of a man who thought he was an atheist. His story is so interesting that some of it should be told now. His change of heart was dramatic, convincing, and moving. Our friend was a minister’s son. He attended church school, where he became rebellious at what he thought an overdose of religious education. For years thereafter he was dogged by trouble and frustration. Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide—these calamities in his immediate family embittered and depressed him. Post-war disillusionment, ever more serious alcoholism, impending mental and physical collapse, brought him to the point to self-destruction. pp. 55-56 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. So my wife and I found a psychiatric social worker at the local Jewish Family Services agency. She saw us as a couple, then individually, then together, and so it went. When we were together, we worked on our interpersonal problems. When I saw her by myself, she would talk about drinking. I don't know why she kept bringing it up. I drank, but not that much. I never even mentioned my drinking except maybe to say, "Yes, I do drink," when she asked. It wasn't the problem--the other things were. One day she read me some questions from a pamphlet, which I answered honestly. She concluded that maybe I drank too much, and we talked about that for several sessions. p. 399 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." There were, though, a few conservative dissenters among the alcoholics. the wrote the Foundation*, A.A.'s headquarters in New York, wanting to know about this sort of streamlining. They understood that the elders, just to nail things down good, were about to apply to the Foundation for a charter. These few were disturbed and skeptical. *In 1954, The name of the Alcoholic Foundation, Inc. was changed to the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous, Inc. and the Foundation office is now the General Service Office. p. 148 ************************************************** ********* You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle. --Paulo Coelho You're never fully dressed without a smile! --Anon God gets our attention in a lot of different ways. For a great many of us, it was through accident or illness, coming close to death. All of us come to this program frightened for our life or our sanity or both. God has our attention. And now we are learning about the spiritual aspect of our life, the one we had so long neglected. Now we are partaking of God's love---soul food---and discovering that the spiritual life is fuller and more rewarding than anything we thought possible. Nothing we do to please our body can compare to the joy of unconditional love. When we lend a loving hand to anyone, we realize once again that the pain we suffered was worth it to bring us to this awareness. Today I will look for ways to help others----and bless my soul! --Passing It On "We often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery." --Samuel Smiles Some tension is necessary for the soul to grow, and we can put that tension to good use. We can look for every opportunity to give and receive love, to appreciate nature, to heal our wounds and the wounds of others, to forgive, and to serve. --Joan Borysenko A life lived in love, goodness, and oneness with God is a life full of joy. A soul that lives such a life is a soul that grows ever more beautiful. May your life be joyous then and may your soul’s beauty shine on forever. --Joseph J. Mazzella The soul is made of love and must ever strive to return to love. Therefore, it can never find rest nor happiness in other things. It must lose itself in love. By its very nature it must seek God, who is love. --Mechthild of Magdenburg ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PROFIT "What is a man to profit if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" --Jesus (Mt. 16:26) Spirituality brings with it a sense of priority in my life: first things first. Unless I discover me and have a love and respect for me, I have nothing to offer in this world. I am the center of my universe and through my life God is radiated. I am a part of God's creative plan and the pleasures of this world must be seen as secondary to my developing a right relationship with God. My disease of obsession and compulsion wants me to place other things at the center of my life: food, alcohol, drugs, people, money, success, achievement and ego. My spiritual program reminds me that my love of self is shown in my refusal of the first drink. If I am healthy, I can have the world; without me, I can have nothing! Let me find Your Kingdom that is within. ************************************************** ********* Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help." You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:1-3;10-12 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The more you think about the little difficulties in life, the bigger they become and still nothing is resolved. Lord, may I let go of those problems that I cannot solve and resolve quickly those things that I can. It is important to remember that different can be better. Lord, as I resist change and cling to the familiar, help me to remember that Your plan is perfect and will truly make me happy. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Build, Don't Destroy "Our negative sense of self has been replaced by a positive concern for others." Basic Text, p. 16 Spreading gossip feeds a dark hunger in us. Sometimes we think the only way we can feel good about ourselves is to make someone else look bad by comparison. But the kind of self-esteem that can be purchased at another's expense is hollow and not worth the price. How, then, do we deal with our negative sense of self? Simple. We replace it with a positive concern for others. Rather than dwell on our low self-esteem, we turn to those around us and seek to be of service to them. This may seem to be a way of avoiding the issue, but it's not. There's nothing we can do by dwelling on our low sense of self except work ourselves into a stew of self-pity. But by replacing our self-pity with active, loving concern for others, we become the kind of people we can respect. The way to build our self-esteem is not to tear others down, but to build them up through love and positive concern. To help us with this, we can ask ourselves if we are contributing to the problem or to the solution. Today, we can choose to build instead of destroy. Just for today: Though I may be feeling low, I don't need to tear someone down to build myself up. Today, I will replace my negative sense of self with a positive concern for others. I will build, not destroy. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. "Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round! Somebody said," Alice whispered, "that it's done by everybody minding their own business. Ah well! It means much the same thing." --Lewis Carroll No one helps a caterpillar become a butterfly. First it must crawl through the leaves as a many-legged creature, and then it weaves its own cocoon. Nature does its slow, daily work inside the cocoon and one day a butterfly emerges--and each butterfly is a different shape and color. No other creature can step in and speed up this process without hurting the butterfly. Sometimes we humans confuse love with playing the part of God. We think we can speed up the natural growth of people around us. We interfere by telling them to do what we think best. Sometimes the greatest love we can offer is to accept our loved ones the way they are. We need to remember that each caterpillar weaves a cocoon in its own time and becomes a butterfly in its own way. The wisdom of the universe is greater than our own. How will I show my acceptance of others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I will thank you because I am marvelously made; your works are wonderful, and I know it well. ---Psalms 139:14 Some days we feel bad about ourselves. Perhaps there is no real reason except a mood has come over us. Moodiness is a remnant of our past. Or perhaps we feel guilty or ashamed or hurt. We feel blue. We feel grouchy toward ourselves or toward others around us and the world. This is a time to turn it over to our Higher Power. We are children of the universe. We are loved. Our Creator has endowed us with marvelous strengths and potentials. Today may be a day we allow ourselves to be carried along by the love of our Higher Power. If we reach out we will feel the presence of the spirit in our contact with other people. We need not try so hard. We only need to pray for openness within ourselves to feel the love of God. I pray for help today to renew the feeling within that God loves me and never abandons me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same. --Anne Frank Happiness feels so close and yet so far away. Perhaps we look to a person for it, or to a job, or a new winter coat. We deserve happiness, we know. Yet, we learn so slowly that happiness can only be found within. The person leaves; the job goes sour; the new coat is quickly out of style. Elusive, all of them. But the happiness that comes from knowing who we are and how our lives fit in the grand design of the Creator, never eludes us. We are one of a kind. And there is no other who can offer to the world of friends just what each of us can. We are needed, and knowing that, really knowing it, brings happiness. Before we found this program, we no doubt failed to realize our worth. We can celebrate it now. We can glory in our worth, our specialness, and we can cherish the design. We can cherish our parts and cherish the part each other person plays. Combined, we are as one big orchestra. The conductor reads the music and directs the movements. Being in tune with the conductor feels good. I can call it happiness. All I need do is play my part. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Trusting God A married couple, friends of mine, decided to make some changes in their living situation. They had always lived in the city, and now they decided they wanted to live in the country, on a lake. They found a small, lake home. It wasn't the house of their dreams, but when they sold their city home, they would have money to remodel it. They had saved some money, so they moved into their lake home before selling their city home. One year passed, and the city home didn't sell. My friends went through many changes during this time. They had times of patience and impatience. Some days they trusted God; other days they couldn't figure out why God was making them wait so long, why God wouldn't let them move forward with their plan. The doors just wouldn't swing wide open. One day, a neighbor came to visit my friends. His home on the lake was my friends' dream home - everything they wanted, plus more. The first time my friends saw this house, they admired it, wishing they could have a home just like it, but then they forgot about the idea. They didn't believe it could ever be possible. The reason the neighbor came to visit my friends was that he and his wife had decided to move. He offered my friends the first option on purchasing his home. My friends accepted his offer, and signed a purchase agreement. Within two months, they sold their city home and their small but adequate lake home. A short time later, they moved into the home of their dreams. Sometimes, we experience times of frustration in our life. We believe we're on track, trusting God and ourselves, yet things don't work out. We have false starts and stops. The door refuses to swing wide open. We may wonder if God has abandoned us, or doesn't care. We may not understand where we're going, or what our direction is. Then one day we see: the reason we didn't get what we wanted was because God had something much better planned for us. Today, I will practice patience. I will ask, and trust, my Higher Power to send me His best. This day is full of miracle. They are right in front of me on my path. Today I have all the courage to let go of all that is holding me back so that I can step forward and experience each miracle that is waiting for me. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Joy Find You Somewhere along my journey it happened. Quietly, imperceptibly, almost without my knowing it. I relaxed. Got comfortable with myself. I began enjoying myself, accepting life. Liking life. I found joy. Somewhere along your journey it will happen to you. Joy is a gift. It appears imperceptibly, without warning, like a morning sunrise lighting our bedroom while we sleep. And it is almost as predictable. Keep doing the activities that bring healing and growth into your life. Keep loving yourself. Keep walking your path. Continue loving. Don’t worry about finding joy. Because somewhere along your journey, joy will find you. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Stop trying so hard Stop trying to force and make things happen. Don’t you see that by pushing so hard, you’re sabotaging yourself. There’s another way, a better way. Surrender– not to the way you want things to be, but to the way things are, right now. Sometimes that means we surrender to loneliness, defeat, confusion, and helplessness. Sometimes that means we don’t get what we want today. Instead we get what we have today. We’re not in control of many things and circumstances in this world. By forcing things, we often disconnect from our true power, instead of aligning with it. Maybe something has to happen first, before you can get what you want or do what you want. Maybe there’s an important lesson you’re trying to skip. Maybe it’s not time. Stop trying so hard to push and force, to make it happen. Stop trying to do the impossible, and instead do what you can do– surrender to the way things are. Then watch how naturally the impossible falls into place. God, help me stop trying so hard to force things into place. Help me remember that all is well. ************************************************** Growing Your Own Food Flavors of Life by Madisyn Taylor When we grow our food, we participate more fully in nature’s cycles and form a closer bond with Mother Earth. Growing a garden of food at home is an experience anyone can enjoy. Even a hanging basket of rosemary or a cherry tomato plant in a pot on the windowsill can enhance your connection with the cycle of life. If you have space outdoors, the green and blooming colors of the edible delights you are growing will decorate any view while tempting you to enjoy the outdoors. The edible plants we nurture allow us to literally taste the fruits (or vegetables or herbs) of our labor while helping us more consciously participate in the circulating energy of nature. Allow yourself to begin slowly and simply, so that you can learn to dance with nature’s intricate orchestrations. There are many experienced gardeners out there to assist you as you choose seeds or small plants to start your garden. As you learn to heed the seasons, soil, sun, frost, and shade, you become more than a mere spectator of life’s cycle. Instead, you step into the role of cocreator and enhance what you nurture. No matter how large or small the size of your garden, you can benefit from growing your own organic, fresh, and nutritious food while also reveling in the depth of flavor and texture that comes from plants that have been well-tended, nurtured, and loved. As we appreciate the food we’ve grown, we can recognize the care that farmers put into the produce most of us buy at the supermarket. With this new understanding, we can acknowledge the roles other living creatures fill as participants in cultivating the cycle of life. We may even learn to peacefully coexis! t with the animals and insects that share perhaps too great an interest in our garden. When we grow our food, we participate more fully in nature’s cycles and form a closer bond with Mother Earth. Knowing how to grow your own food allows for a sense of freedom and pride that you can feed and provide for yourself, one of the most basic necessities. Gratitude may fill us as we marvel at the beauty of nature and the majesty of the universe that orchestrates such natural wonders. When we allow our appreciation of life to expand, we harvest so much more than food and the taste is that much sweeter. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day "It seems to me," wrote AA co-founder Bill W., "that the primary object of any human being is to grow, as God intended, that being the nature of all growing things. Our search must be for what reality we can find, which includes the best definition and feeling of love that we can acquire. If the capability of loving is in the human being, then it must surely be in his Creator." Will I pray today not so much to be loved, as to love? Today I Pray God grant me the patience of a lifetime in my search for the best answer to the question, "What is love?" May I know that the definition will come to me in snatches as I live life's several roles - as child, lover, parent, teacher, friend, spiritual being. May I be grateful for my experience as a chemically dependent person, which adds a special dimension to the meaning of love. Today I Will Remember All love reflects God's love. ************************************ Food For Thought Avoiding Extremes The Greek ideal of the golden mean is a concept, which we would do well to ponder. Most of us are extremists, as evidenced by our compulsiveness. We are all or nothing people, and our histories are full of times when we "couldn't believe we ate the whole thing." Before coming to OA, many of us alternated between starving and bingeing. Either we attempted a diet so limited and stringent that it was impossible to follow for very long, or we indulged our appetites by eating everything that did not move. OA endorses the practice of moderation. Learning it is difficult for most of us and something, which we have been unable to do by ourselves. The members who maintain their abstinence and have a strong program serve as guides and sponsors for those of us who are beginners. Old and new, all of us rely every day on our Higher Power to lead us in the way of moderation. May I avoid extremes and learn moderation. ***************************************** One Day At A Time FOURTH STEP SECRETS “These are weighty secrets and we must whisper them.” Sarah Chauncey Woolsey (Susan Coolidge) When I came to the Recovery Group, I was wearing the pain of a lifetime of well-kept secrets - secrets about a childhood of poverty and secrets about a difficult marriage. No one ever saw my secret pain; I never shared it with anyone. But all could see the effects of the food I used as a coping mechanism. Because of my willingness "to do whatever it takes," I shared these secrets with the person who took my 5th step. I later shared it with my sponsor and some of them later with a sponsee during her 5th step. Sharing this pain the first two times was like the bursting of a painful abscess, with poison being released. The poison that kept me living in resentful, negative thinking has been gradually replaced with gratitude for what I had and now have, and with the ability to experience joy in my many, many blessings. One day at a time... I will experience gratitude for the gifts I was given in my 4th and 5th steps and for the gifts of this program. ~ Karen A. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. - Pg. 34 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Vengeance sometimes seems the only way to get back at who've hurt us. But we've found the best vengeance is living well, practicing our principles, and letting our Higher Power take care of the offenders. May I recognize and internalize that vengeance is an attribute of addiction, not recovery. Releasing of Perfectionism Today, I will not demand that my life be perfect in order for me to love it, nor will I demand that all my relationships be perfect for me to value and respect them. If I try to make my life and relationships perfect, I will be constantly engaged in a neurotic battle with my transitory illusion of perfection. There is no such thing as an ideal, and to insist that life be ideal is to miss the forest for the trees. I will not condemn myself to the constant feeling that I have drawn the short straw. Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder -- it is subjective. I will not ask the moment to be more than the moment -- I will not be conditional in my love. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Humility is not so much thinking less of yourself as it is thinking of yourself less. True humility is accepting myself without embellishment and without embarrassment. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You need newcomers to tell you where you came from; old-timers, to tell you where you could go, and a sponsor to tell you where you are at. Time for Joy - Book - Quote This day is full of miracle. They are right in front of me on my path. Today I have all the courage to let go of all that is holding me back so that I can step forward and experience each miracle that is waiting for me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I was half Irish and half Scot. It was A real dilemma in my life; one half of me wanted to get drunk all the time and the other half didn't want to pay for it. - Tom M. |
June 5
Daily Reflections ENTIRELY READY? "This is the Step that separates the men from the boys.". . . the difference between "the boys and the men" is the difference between striving for a self determined objective and for the perfect objective which is of God. . . . It is suggested that we ought to become entirely willing to aim toward perfection. . . . The moment we say, "No, never!" our minds close against the grace of God. . . . This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God's will for us. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 63, 68, 69 Am I entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character? Do I know at long last that I cannot save myself? I have come to believe that I cannot. If I am unable, if my best intentions go wrong, if my desires are selfishly motivated and if my knowledge and will are limited -- then I am ready to embrace God's will for my life. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We alcoholics are fortunate to be living in a day and age when there is such a thing as Alcoholics Anonymous. Before A.A. came into being, there was very little hope for the alcoholic. A.A. is a great rebuilder of human wreckage. It takes men and women whose personality problem expresses itself in alcoholism and offers them a program that, if they are willing to accept it, allows them not only to get sober, but also to find a much better way of living. Have I found a better way of living? Meditation For The Day Very quietly God speaks through your thoughts and feelings. Heed the Divine voice of your conscience. Listen for this and you will never be disappointed in the results in your life. Listen for this small, still voice and your tired nerves will become rested. The Divine voice comes to you as strength as well as tenderness, as power as well as restfulness. Your moral strength derives its effectiveness from the power that comes when you listen patiently for the still, small voice. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may listen for the still, small voice of God. I pray that I may obey the leading of my conscience. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Perception of Humility, p. 156 An improved perception of humility starts a revolutionary change in our outlook. Our eyes begin to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. Escape via the bottle was always our solution. Then, in A.A., we looked and listened. Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. << << << >> >> >> To those who have made progress in A.A., humility amounts to a clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be. 12 & 12 1. pp. 74-75 2. p. 58 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Looking at the long term. Living Today. Though we’re encouraged to live one day at a time, we must also be aware of the future. We should not knowingly do anything today that creates unneeded risks and penalties further down the road. We should not, for example, take on unreasonable debt simply to live well today. We should not put off things that will get worse with time. We should not avoid unpleasant decisions that will have to be made sooner or later. Living one day at a time really means planning to do our best each day. While we cannot predict or control the future, we do have a responsibility to act so that our tomorrows will also be good days for living. I'll face today with the confidence that all my actions will be good for the long term as well as for today. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Life is only this place, this time, and these people right here and now.---Vincent Collins Staying in the present can be hard. This busy world pulls our focus from the present. We often wonder if the future will bring good times or bad times. Life is right before us. Look around. Life is happening---now! The more we live in the moment, the better we feel. Why? Because we can do something about the present. We can't do anything about the future. We have choices in the present, and we can do something with our lives. Addiction ran our lives before. Now with the help of others and our Higher Power, we run our lives again. This give us peace of mind. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for giving back my life. Teach me how to run my life. Have me seek others when I need help. It's okay to ask for it. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list five things I do well. Then I'll list three things I don't do well. I'll think of people who can help me, and I'll call them. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The level of anxiety I feel when an attractive woman enters the room is the cue informing me of my closeness to God at that moment. --Anonymous Our security lies now and always in our relationship with God. When we are spiritually connected, we don't lack confidence, self-assurance. We don't doubt our value to those around us. Having an active friendship with our God keeps us ever aware that whatever is right for each of us at this time will be given us, that each other person in our life is also on a divinely ordained path going somewhere special to her growth. It's unfortunate, but true, that many of us had painful experiences with other women earlier in our lives. Maybe we lost a lover or a husband to someone we knew. And it's difficult to believe that what is right for us will come to us, that we need never fear another woman. The program offers us daily opportunities to take stock of our assets in order to know that we count. And more importantly, it promises security and serenity if each day we invite our higher power to be our companion. We need never fear someone else's presence. Nor need we fear any new situation. With God at our side, all is well. And we'll know it! I will make God my friend today and enjoy the ease of living. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS One night, when confined in a hospital, he was approached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual experience. Our friend’s gorge rose as he bitterly cried out: “If there is a God, He certainly hasn’t done anything for me!” But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: “Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong?” While pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in hell. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came. It crowded out all else: “Who are you to say there is no God?” This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his knees. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the Presence of God. It poured over and through him with the certainty and majesty of a great tide at flood. The barriers he had built through the years were swept away. He stood in the Presence of Infinite Power and Love. He had stepped from bridge to shore. For the first time, he lived in conscious companionship with his Creator. Thus was our friend’s cornerstone fixed in place. No later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem was taken away. That very night, years ago, it disappeared. Save for a few brief moments of temptation the though of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity. pp. 56-57 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. One day she asked if I could limit myself to five drinks in a day. I said, "Sure." Was I surprised when I found that I couldn't. That should have been my first clue that she might be right, but it didn't occur to me. p. 399 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." Of course, there was a promoter in the deal - a super-promoter. By his eloquence he allayed all fears, despite advice from the Foundation that it could issue no charter, and that ventures which mixed an A.A. group with medication and education had come to sticky ends elsewhere. To make things safer, the promoter organized three corporations and became president of them all. Freshly painted, the new center shone. The warmth of it all spread through the town. Soon things began to hum. to insure foolproof, continuous operation, sixty-one rules and regulations were adopted. p. 148 ************************************************** ********* People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway. --Mother Teresa "The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment." --Dorothy Nevill God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. --unknown When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking of something better to give you. --unknown Five rules to be happy. 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation REASON "I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use." --Galileo Galilei An essential part of being human is the ability to think, reflect and reason. Spirituality is involved in our ideas and perceptions because that is historically how man has grown and been able to change. As Descarte said, "Cogito ergo sum - I think therefore I am." The tragedy is that few people experience the freedom to think and create because of the stifling addictions that are epidemic in our society: food, alcohol, drugs, religion, work, money and sex. We are so afraid of what others might think or say that we never fully experience our spiritual selves and everybody suffers. It is the "risks" in life that make man great. Help me to challenge what I do not believe in order to discover what I do believe. ************************************************** ********* "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. So we may boldly say: The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Hebrews 13:5-6 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Much stress comes from focusing on things over which you have no control. Lord, may I let go of useless worry and enjoy today. Regret nothing, not even your failures. Take in the richness of only today because to carry any more will only weigh you down. Lord, You have promised to help me with the burdens of today. I will not look backwards. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Honest Prayer "Although honesty is difficult to practice, it is most rewarding." Basic Text, p. 92 How difficult we find it to be honest! Many of us come to NA so confused about what really happened in our lives that it sometimes takes months and years to sort it all out. The truth of our history is not always as we have told it. How can we begin to be more truthful? Many of us find it the easiest to be honest in prayer. With our fellow addicts, we sometimes find that we have a hard time telling the whole truth. We feel certain that we won't be accepted if we let others know us as we really are. It's hard to live up to the "terminally hip and fatally cool" image so many of us portrayed! In prayer, we find an acceptance from our Higher Power that allows us to open our hearts with honesty. As we practice this honesty with the God of our understanding, we often find that it has a ripple effect in our communications with others. We get in the habit of being honest. We begin to practice honesty when we share at meetings and work with others. In return, we find our lives enriched by deepening friendships. We even find that we can be more honest with ourselves, the most important person to be truthful with! Honesty is a quality that is developed through practice. It isn't always easy to be totally truthful, but when we begin with our Higher Power, we find it easier to extend our honesty to others. Just for today: I will be honest with God, myself, and others. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. To render ourselves insensible to pain we must forfeit also the possibilities of happiness. --Sir John Lubbock A caterpillar knows instinctively that it must spin a cocoon. When finished it will use the protection it has made to turn itself into a beautiful butterfly. When the time is right, the butterfly will break through the cocoon and stretch its wings to meet the world. We sometimes protect ourselves by withdrawing into a cocoon of our own. We stop talking to others and find ourselves growing lonely and longing for our friends. Perhaps it was some pain that made us retreat, but the pain of loneliness is greater. When we have the courage to break out of our cocoon, knowing and accepting the fact that we will experience both pain and happiness, we will change. We will become, for that moment, something new and beautiful like the butterfly. What fearful thing do I have the courage to face today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Where there is no strife there is decay: "The mixture which is not shaken decomposes." --Heraclitus Transitions and changes are often painful, sometimes frightening. Often the most troubled lives are those most unyielding to change. When we become so committed to stability that we cannot flow with the never- ending river of life, we wither and die spiritually. Every one of us has changes moving within our lives. Some changes are beneath the surface and we only vaguely sense them. Others are obvious and we are dealing with their effects. When we see change only as a problem or as pain, we have a harder time getting on with our lives. Looking back, we can see other changes we would never have chosen or planned for ourselves. We can see now that we grew with them. Change forced us into new realms, and we found sides of ourselves we hadn't known before. Through whatever strife and difficulty of change we face today, we have a stable program to fall back on. And we have our relationship with our Higher Power which is with us through all times. I will try to have a lighter grip upon life today so that as the river of change flows, I can flow with it. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The level of anxiety I feel when an attractive woman enters the room is the cue informing me of my closeness to God at that moment. --Anonymous Our security lies now and always in our relationship with God. When we are spiritually connected, we don't lack confidence, self-assurance. We don't doubt our value to those around us. Having an active friendship with our God keeps us ever aware that whatever is right for each of us at this time will be given us, that each other person in our life is also on a divinely ordained path going somewhere special to her growth. It's unfortunate, but true, that many of us had painful experiences with other women earlier in our lives. Maybe we lost a lover or a husband to someone we knew. And it's difficult to believe that what is right for us will come to us, that we need never fear another woman. The program offers us daily opportunities to take stock of our assets in order to know that we count. And more importantly, it promises security and serenity if each day we invite our higher power to be our companion. We need never fear someone else's presence. Nor need we fear any new situation. With God at our side, all is well. And we'll know it! I will make God my friend today and enjoy the ease of living. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Combating Shame Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet. -- Beyond Codependency Watch out for shame. Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame. We don't have to fall into their shame. Instead, we'll take the good feelings - self-acceptance, love, and nurturing. Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors. If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed. It's inevitable. We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame. Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed "original shame" upon us, may try to put shame on us. This can happen when we're all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life. Don't think. . . . Don't feel. . . . Don't grow or change. . . .Don't be alive. . . . Don't live life. . . . Be ashamed! Be done with shame. Attack shame. Go to war with it. Learn to recognize it and void it like the plague. Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world. If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, and then be done with it as quickly as possible. God, help me know that it's okay to love myself and help me to refuse to submit to shame. If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love. Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take. I am complete in this moment. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart What Are You Trying to Prove? You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Not even to yourself. A subconscious desire to prove ourselves may be hiding at the root of our fears, the root of our tension, the root of our need to do and be more. Accompanying it can be a burning belief that we aren’t good enough, that we need to compensate for some deficiency in ourselves in order to take our place on this planet. We may feel like we have to earn our place, earn our right to be here. Like we’re being watched and judged, graded. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You’re fine just the way you are. You have energy, vitality. You have particular gifts and talents. You have been learning your lessons just right in your life. Let go of the need to prove yourself to others– to parents, people from the past, people in your life today. Could it be the one you’ve really been trying to prove something to is yourself. The answer is simple: learn to approve of yourself. Love and accept yourself the way you are today. Then step right up and take your place in the universe. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go You don’t have to exert that much control “Hey killer, how about relaxing the old death grip there.” Why did he always say that? Probably because I always got nervous and held the yoke too tightly. Rob, my flight instructor, was teaching me basic maneuvers in the little Cessna 172 trainer again. He wanted me to put the plane into a steep turn. The only problem was that every time I tried, I felt as though the little plane would fall out of the sky. I know. It’s crazy. But knowing didn’t help my feeling very much. “Here, watch this. I have the controls,” Rob said. And taking the controls, my instructor put the plane into a sharply banked turn. Then he let go of the yoke.” “Aaaah!” I yelled. Nothing happened. The little airplane kept turning with no further input from anyone. “You see,” Rob explained, “when you have the trim setting adjusted right, the airplane will do what you tell it to do. There’s no need to force it. Now relax and try again.” I did, and the turn was better this time. Maybe the plane wouldn’t fall out of the sky after all. And another small piece of the puzzle got filled in. There are many things that we can do to keep our lives on course. We can talk to our mentors and sponsors, read positive books, attend support groups, listen to positive music, pray, meditate, work a recovery program if we’re in one, and grow. We don’t want to become complacent. Safety consciousness is important. But once we have set ourselves on course, it isn’t necessary to constantly be worried about falling out of the sky. Set your plan in motion. Get on the right track. But remember that if saving your life is important, it is also important to have a life worth saving. Relax a little. The plane will keep on flying as long as you give it the right input. God, grant me the grace to relax, to let go of worry and self-doubt, and to let myself enjoy life and the experiences that it has to offer. ************************************************** Coming out of a Haze by Madisyn Taylor We cannot predict when a fog will come or when it will lift, but we can center ourselves in the haze and wait for guidance. When we feel muddled and unfocused, unsure of which way to turn, we say we are in a fog. Similar to when we are in a fog in nature, we may feel like we can’t see where we’re going or where we’ve come from, and we’re afraid if we move too quickly we might run into something hidden in the mists that seem to surround us. Being in a fog necessarily slows us down by limiting our visibility. The best choice may be to pull over and wait for the murkiness to clear. If we move at all, we must go slowly, feeling our way and keeping our eyes open for shapes emerging from the haze, perhaps relying on the taillights of someone in front of us as we make our way along the road. By and large, most of us prefer to be able to see where we are going and move steadfastly in that direction, but there are gifts that come from being in a fog. Sometimes it takes an obstacle like fog to get us to stop and be still in the moment, doing nothing. In this moment of involuntary inactivity, we may look within and find that the source of our fogginess is inside us; it could be some emotional issue that needs tending before we can safely go full steam ahead. Being in a fog reminds us that when we cannot see outside ourselves, we can always make progress by looking within. Then again, the fog may simply be teaching us important lessons about how to continue moving forward with extreme caution, harnessing our attention, watching closely for new information, and being ready to stop on a dime. We cannot predict when a fog will come, nor can we know for certain when it will lift, but we can center ourselves in the haze and wait for guidance. We may find it inside ourselves or in a pair of barely visible taillights just ahead. Whether we follow the lights out of the fog, wait for a gentle breeze to lift it, or allow the sun to burn it away, we can rest certain that one way or another, we will move forward with clarity once again. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day The Program teaches me that not too many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us have to admit that we've loved but a few and that we've been quite indifferent to the many. As for the rest, well, we've really disliked or hated them. We in The Program find we need something much better than this in order to keep our balance. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many and can continue to fear or hate anyone at all, has to be abandoned - if only a little at a time. At meetings, do I concentrate on the message rather than the messenger? Today I Pray May I understand that there is no place in my recovery - or in my entire life as a chemically dependent person - for toxic hatred or lackadaisical indifference. One of the most important positive ideas that I must carry with me is that all humans, as the children of God, make up a loving brother-and-sisterhood. May I find it hard to hate a brother. Today I Will Remember Hear the message. Don't judge the messenger. ************************************ Food For Thought Good Spirits Many of us find that we need to avoid alcohol as well as refined sugars and starches if we are to maintain abstinence. The resemblance between compulsive overeating and alcoholism is striking. Frequently, alcoholics are compulsive overeaters and vice versa. Both alcohol and sugar induce an artificial high which, in order to be maintained, requires increasing quantities of the addictive substance. Both food and drink may be used as escapes from the unpleasant realities of living, and the abuse of both involves similar character defects. The spirits found in alcohol and sugar let us down. They are no substitute for faith in a Higher Power and the peace and joy, which that faith brings. Alcohol distorts our perception of reality and eventually acts as a depressant. God's Spirit in our hearts clarifies our understanding and gives us enthusiasm and deep joy. I need Your Spirit, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time HONESTY “Our lives improve only when we take chances ~ and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” Walter Anderson After the initial shock and realization that I am a compulsive overeater, it transpired that in order to recover, I had to get honest. This was -- and still is -- a painful process for me, yet it is an essential step towards my recovery. First I had to admit that I wasn't in control of my life and that recovery couldn't be achieved unaided. As with most revelations, this was an uncomfortable truth to behold. I was also prompted through honesty to stop blaming everyone else for my unwillingness to help myself. I had to find conviction in my actions and not just emptiness in my words. I conceded that I am not as perfect as I would like to think. I make mistakes and sometimes slip from the path of recovery, but with honesty comes acceptance that I am only human. This disease would deceive me into thinking that I am a failure when in fact it's my actions that have failed me. Like a magician who performs illusions for the crowd, this disease would have me think I have committed unforgivable sins. Honesty is the key to my recovery; it unlocks the chains that have imprisoned me for so long. It allows me to recognize my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. It turns simple existence into life ~ and inner-conflicts into outward serenity. One day at a time... I will be honest with myself. ~ Sue G. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker. - Pg. 135 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote When we describe recovery as 'accepting a fate worse than death,' we don't understand the true nature of acceptance. This is called the 'sigh and die' syndrome. Rather than dwell on what can't be changed, we learn to do what is right at this moment, in this hour. I don't want to be a part of the 'sigh and die' syndrome. Right this moment, I will pick up another book on recovery and read one page, any page, and that will break the spell. A Healthy Heart Today, I will pray for help in forgiveness. My prayers have power in unseen realms. Research has borne out over and over again that prayer can be as effective a healer as medication at times. I will rely on the deep truth of the power of the unseen; invisible hands will guide my prayer. There is a peace within me that surpasses all understanding. Today, I will cultivate that peace by taking time to go within. The world within me is as real as anything I see. It sustains and nurtures me. It is of more value to me than I can imagine. I need this part of me to be alive and well. I need a healthy heart. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Don't get 'seeking serenity' con-fused with 'seeking utopia.' The Twelve-Step programs do not open the gates of heaven to let us in, they open the gates of hell to let us out. I feel lighter and better about myself when I don't expect a perfect world simply because I am clean and sober. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Sponsors: they won't let you, get you. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take. I am complete in this moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I never had it so good. And if I'd had it my way I'd have short-changed myself, because all I wanted out of this deal was to stay out of jail. - Patti O. |
June 6
Daily Reflections ALL WE DO IS TRY Can He now take them all -- every one? ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76 In doing Step Six it helped me a lot to remember that I am striving for "spiritual progress." Some of my character defects may be with me for the rest of my life, but most have been toned down or eliminated. All that Step Six asks of me is to become willing to name my defects, claim them as my own, and be willing to discard the ones I can, just for today. As I grow in the program, many of my defects become more objectionable to me than previously and, therefore, I need to repeat Step Six so that I can become happier with myself and maintain my serenity. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Drinking is the way we alcoholics express our maladjustment's to life. I believe that I was a potential alcoholic from the start. I had an inferiority complex. I didn't make friends easily. There was a wall between me and other people. And I was lonely. I was not well adjusted to life. Did I drink to escape from myself? Meditation For The Day According to the varying needs of each person, so does each person think of God. It is not necessary that you think of God as others think of Him, but it is necessary that you think of Him as supplying what you personally need. The weak need God's strength. The strong need God's tenderness. The tempted and fallen need God's saving grace. The righteous needs God's pity for sinners. The lonely need God as a friend. The fighters for righteousness need a leader in God. You may think of God in any way you wish. We usually do not turn to God until we need Him. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may think of God as supplying my needs. I pray that I will bring all my problems to Him for help in meeting them. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Imagination Can Be Constructive, p. 157 We recall, a little ruefully, how much store we used to set by imagination as it tried to create reality out of bottles. Yes, we reveled in that sort of thinking, didn't we? And, though sober nowadays, don't we often try to do much the same thing? Perhaps our trouble was not that we used our imagination. Perhaps the real trouble was our almost total inability to point imagination toward the right objectives. There's nothing the matter with truly constructive imagination; all sound achievement rests upon it. After all, no man can build a house until he first visions a plan for it. 12 & 12, p. 100 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places My opportunities are in change Personal Growth. It’s common to hear a recovering person voice apprehensions about an impending change. This apprehension only results from our fear that change will mean loss. There can never be any permanent loss if we are solidly anchored in our spiritual program. Our Higher Power is the guiding force in all change and will make all things right as events unfold. We should also remember that change brought us to our present situation. Any good we now enjoy came to us by a certain process. Even painful experiences have been valuable lessons. There is no way we can avoid change; it is a built-in condition of life. We can accept it more gracefully if we view it as God’s way of bringing us opportunity. Any change that I sense today is just a signal for the arrival of new opportunities. Even if changes seem uncomfortable, I'll welcome all such change. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Fortunate are the people whose roots are deep.---Agnes Meyer A tree's roots seek water and minerals. Though the roots can't be seen easily seen, they are there. The life of the tree depends on them. The stronger a tree's roots, the higher a tree can grow. We need to set deep roots into the soil of recovery. The soil of recovery is made up of the Twelve Steps, fellowship, and service to others. We'll have to get through storms and high winds in our return to health. In so doing, we'll become beautiful, strong, and spiritual. We'll be able to live with both the gentle breezes and the heavy winds of life. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me believe in what I can't see. Just as I believe that the roots of a tree are there because I can see the leaves. I believe in a Higher Power because I can see the results. Action for the Day: I will ask myself, "Which Step do I need to work on the most right now?" I will volunteer to give a meeting on that Step. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning From early infancy onward we all incorporate into our lives the message we receive concerning our self-worth, or lack of self-worth, and this sense of value is to be found beneath our actions and feelings as a tangled network of self-perception. --Christina Baldwin Lifting our self-esteem is not a particularly easy task for most of us. It's probable that again and again our confidence wavered before we sought help from the program. It's also probable that our confidence still wanes on occasion. The old fears don't disappear without effort. But each day we can do some one thing that will help us to feel better about ourselves. All it takes is one small act or decision, each day. The program can give us the strength we need each day to move forward one step. Today, I will do one thing I've been putting off. A whole collection of "one days" will lay the groundwork for the person I'm building within. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made him willing to believe. He humbly offered himself to his Maker—then he knew. Even so has God restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it more slowly. But He has come to all who have honestly sought Him. When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us! p. 57 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. Then I hit on a clever solution. I have several academic degrees, and someone as smart as I was could solve this problem. The idea was to put off the first drink as long as possible and go to bed after the last drink. That worked out okay, and I told the counselor I was able to keep it to five a day with little or no problem. But she said if you had to control something, it was out of control. p. 400 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." But alas, this bright scene was not long in darkening. Confusion replaced serenity. It was found that some drunks yearned for education, but doubted if they were alcoholics. The personality defects of others could be cured maybe with a loan. Some were club-minded, but it was just a question of taking care of the lonely heart. Sometimes the swarming applicants would go for all three floors. Some would start at the top and come through to the bottom, becoming club members; others started in the club, pitched a binge, were hospitalized, then graduated to education on the third floor. It was a beehive of activity, all right, but unlike a beehive, it was confusion compounded. An A.A. group, as such, simply couldn't handle this sort of project. All too late that was discovered. Then came the inevitable explosion - something like that day the boiler burst in Wombley's Clapboard Factory. A chill chokedamp of fear and frustration fell over the group. pp. 148-149 ************************************************** ********* Live to learn and you will learn to live. --Portuguese Proverb It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities. --Sir Josiah Stamp You cannot raise a man up by calling him down. --William Boetcker "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." --Dennis Wholey Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. --Will Rogers Realize the acts of others are not for or against you. They are experiences in his or her life. --unknown We do not have to be perfect, self assured, and untarnished, to be accepted and loved. --SweetyZee Anxiety separates us from experiencing a great life. So caught up are we in our worry, we may even cut ourselves off from giving and receiving love. God invites us into a fuller life in which we recognize that there is no anxiety that our Creator cannot handle, if we only remember to ask. --Mary Manin Morrissey Nothing can separate us from God's love. --Luis Aramayo ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SCIENCE "As long as men are free to ask what they must - free to say what they think - free to think what they will - freedom can never be lost and science can never regress." --J. Robert Oppenheimer We need to press on in this wonderful journey of life because new discoveries await us in our tomorrows. Spirituality always brings joy in the journey. In the traveling is the fun for we will never reach our destination in this life. The freedom to question is the discipline of science, and science is involved in the treatment and recovery of addiction. We must always be looking for better ways of treatment, more vivid ways of teaching and creative aids to recovery. Science, and every other creative discipline, should be used in the treatment of addictions: God is to be found in the many. Lord, let us remember that You gave mankind a scalpel and a prayer book. ************************************************** ********* "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything. 1 John 3:18-20 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Even the most difficult of trials is God's way of preparing us for something else. Lord, may I view my challenges as an opportunity to grow rather than as an opportunity to fail. Jesus said, "Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.". Lord, I pray, I believe, and I thank you even before it is fulfilled. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Recovery Doesn't Happen Overnight "The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous are a progressive recovery process established in our daily living." Basic Text, p. 96 After some time in recovery, we may find we are faced with what seem like overwhelming personal problems, angry feelings, and despair. When we realize what's going on, we may wail, "But I've been working so hard. I thought I was..." Recovered, maybe? Not hardly. Over and over, we hear that recovery is an ongoing process and that we are never cured. Yet we sometimes believe that if we just work our steps enough, pray enough, or go to enough meetings, we'll eventually... Well, maybe not be cured, but be something! And we are "something." We're recovering-recovering from active addiction. No matter what we've dealt with through the process of the steps, there will always be more. What we didn't remember or didn't think was important in our first inventory will surely present itself later on. Again and again, we'll turn to the process of the steps to deal with what's bothering us. The more we use this process the more we'll trust it, for we can see the results. We go from anger and resentment to forgiveness, from denial to honesty and acceptance, and from pain to serenity. Recovery doesn't happen overnight, and ours will never be complete. But each day brings new healing and the hope for more tomorrow. Just for today: I will do what I can for my recovery today and maintain hope in the ongoing process of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. A good anger acted upon is beautiful as lightning and swift with power. A good anger swallowed clots the blood like slime. --Marge Piercy How does it feel when someone tells us we should play basketball when we don't want to? Often, it angers us that someone else is telling us what to do. After we have been told we should do something many times, we begin to believe it and forget how we really feel. Even though we have forgotten what we wanted to do, we feel angry, often without realizing it. Such hidden anger can leave us feeling bad without knowing why. It is important to know when we are angry, and to say so. There are healthy ways of expressing anger without blaming others. Saying we are angry, and thereby claiming it as our own feeling and not something others force on us, is a way to express it which also affirms our right to be angry. If there is anger in me today, can I express it correctly? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Words and magic were in the beginning one and the same thing, and even today words retain much of their magical power. --Sigmund Freud We shape our experiences with the words we use to describe them. Word images create expectations and we naturally move toward them. When a man says, "I can't!" he is commanding his unconscious self to be helpless. When he has a picture in his mind of moving toward his goal, he may say, "It's hard, but I'm going to give it my best effort." If, every time he makes a mistake, he mutters berating statements to himself like, "You idiot! You can't do anything right," he is teaching himself to be inadequate. It's our responsibility in recovery to use respectful, honest, health- giving words. We can no longer use defeating, shaming, or derogatory words. Our language has a hypnotic effect on us and the people around us. So let's look at our resources today and name them. Let's meet our difficulties with our strength, our patience, and the backing of our Higher Power. Today, I will call forth images and use words to show I respect myself and others. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. >From early infancy onward we all incorporate into our lives the message we receive concerning our self-worth, or lack of self-worth, and this sense of value is to be found beneath our actions and feelings as a tangled network of self-perception. --Christina Baldwin Lifting our self-esteem is not a particularly easy task for most of us. It's probable that again and again our confidence wavered before we sought help from the program. It's also probable that our confidence still wanes on occasion. The old fears don't disappear without effort. But each day we can do some one thing that will help us to feel better about ourselves. All it takes is one small act or decision, each day. The program can give us the strength we need each day to move forward one step. Today, I will do one thing I've been putting off. A whole collection of "one days" will lay the groundwork for the person I'm building within. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. The Gift of Readiness Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. --Step Six of Al-Anon We progress to the Sixth Step by working diligently, to the best of our ability, on the first Five Steps. This work readies us for a change of heart, openness to becoming changed by a Power greater than ourselves - God. The path to this willingness can be long and hard. Many of us have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. We need to see, over and over again, that the coping device that once protected us is no longer useful. The defects of character referred to in Step Six are old survival behaviors that once helped us cope with people, life, and ourselves. But now they are getting in our way, and it is time to be willing to have them removed. Trust in this time. Trust that you are being readied to let go of that which is no longer useful. Trust that a change of heart is being worked out in you. God, help me become ready to let go of my defects of character. Help me know, in my mind and soul, that I am ready to let go of my self defeating behaviors, the blocks and barriers to my life. I know that I cannot be hurt by anyone if I consistently look for their best. Today I continue to search out the best in all my relationships, looking for something I can love in everyone. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Learn to Change Your Energy The simple act of moving around can change your energy. When your mind starts to flag, move your body around. Go for a walk, take a bath, get a drink of water, work out at the gym. You’re doing more than moving your body, you’re changing and rearranging your energy field. Listen to your body. It will say what it needs, what it would like, what would be helpful. If you let it, it will even move quite naturally to what would do it good. Stretch your legs. Stretch your arms. Go outside. Do some deep breathing. Call a friend. Meditate. Tell a joke to a co-worker. You don’t have to stay stuck in the energy you’re in. You don’t have to be a victim to the way you feel right now. One of the powers we learn we have is the ability to shift, refocus, and rearrange our energy. When we get stuck in a particular emotion or reaction or mind-set, when we get bogged down or too fired up, we can save ourselves a lot of time by changing our energy, instead of hammering away at a change in the situation. Learn to tell when it is time to do that. Then discover what works for you– the little acts as well as the big ones. Be gentle with yourself when you get stuck, when you need a fresh viewpoint. Learn to change and rearrange your energy as needed. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of tension In Find and Use Your Inner Power, author Emmet Fox used the metaphor of trying to force a key into the lock to unlock the door. When we’re tense and afraid, Fox explained, we fumble. Sometimes the very key that is the right key doesn’t work because we’re trying to force it, because we’re so tense and uptight. Relax. See! The less control and force you use, the better. Maybe the key you’ve been trying to use all along is the right one. Maybe it was your fear and panic that was keeping you from unlocking the door. Maybe you were trying to force it, after all. See how easily and naturally things work out when you just simply relax and let go. You will tap into your true power and the power of the universe when you move, love, work, and play from a place of relaxed and calm inner peace. Move from your center. Let things work out. God, help me stay serene, confident, and joyful as I go through my day. ************************************************** Staying Grounded Foot Cleansing Rituals by Madisyn Taylor Our feet are our primary means of connecting with the earth but remain so neglected confined to shoes. In most contemporary cultures, where there aren’t many opportunities to go barefoot, few acts are as intimate as touching the feet of another person. Our feet are our primary means of connecting with the earth, yet they usually remain confined in shoes or sandals. Cleansing the feet of a friend or loved one is a sign of trust, closeness, and openness. Cleansing your own feet can be a relaxing interlude that can help you feel refreshed. Foot cleansing also has become a popular stress reliever and beautification ritual. Ritual foot cleansing has a long and intricate history involving many methods and motivations. It has been used as an initiation, a welcoming gesture, a purification ceremony, and as a means to demonstrate humbleness. Cleansing ceremonies involving the feet are performed in many different parts of the world. In many cases, the meaning of the ritual was twofold. It was a way of cleaning a guest’s feet before entering a home and a sign of hospitality. In Buddhism, clean water mixed with sandalwood to clean the feet is one of the eight typical offerings. By cleansing the feet of an enlightened being, it is possible to cleanse one’s own karma. You can perform a foot washing ritual on yourself or a companion as a ceremonial activity or as a way to unwind. You may want to start by trying a traditional ritual, or you might feel comfortable inventing your own. Try mixing elements like traditional flower infused water with something more modern like a sugar scrub. Take the time to set your intention for the foot washing ritual. Perhaps you would like to cleanse away old energies in your life so you may step freely toward your future. Or, maybe soaking your feet in warm water will help you relax after a long day at work. Remember to thank your feet for their support. Whether done with pleasure or as an offering, a foot cleansing ritual is a sacred act that honors the divine in you and others. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Adjusting myself to things as they are, and being able to love without trying to interfere with or control anyone else, however close to me — that’s one of the important things I search for and can find in The Program. The learning is sometimes painful; however, the reward is life itself — full and serene. Is The Program helping restore me to a sane and reasonable way of thinking, so I can handle my interpersonal relationships with love and understanding? Today I Pray May I respect those that I love enough to set them free — to stop controlling, manipulating, scheming, balling them out of trouble. May I love them enough to let them make their own mistakes and take responsibility for them. May I learn to let go. Today I Will Remember Love is letting Go. ************************************************** One More Day Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. – Mohandas Gandhi Some people have suggested that we shouldn’t ask for something in prayer. Yes our need to pray is often fueled by emotional or physical pain or by confusion or doubt. Certainly we can’t — certainly we shouldn’t — wait for distressing situations to pass before we pray or meditate. Our soul long for balance and serenity, and we find this when we turn our pain, doubts, and fears over to the comforting presence of our Higher Power. Often what we seek is not an answer to a question as much as a sense of being loved and understood. When we can’t find these in our physical world, we reach out with our spiritual selves to a balancing presence that understands our deepest pains and fears and our greatest joys. No matter what I express in prayer, I am comforted in knowing I’m understood. ************************************ Food For Thought A New Boss When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him, we have a new employer. From now on, we are working first of all for our Higher Power. Before, we were probably motivated by egotism, the desire for personal power, prestige, and superiority. Since we were number one, we used our appetites to serve ourselves with the inevitable result that no amount of food, sex, or material wealth was enough. God did not create us to satisfy ourselves; He created us to serve Him. Recovering a sense of stewardship may take time for those of us who have spent many years trying to gratify our own desires. We need to pause often each day to ask for God's guidance, so that the work we do, the activities we enjoy, and the thoughts we think may all serve Him. Under His direction, our talents and abilities develop and our appetites serve His purpose. May my thoughts, appetites, and activities serve You. ***************************************** One Day At A Time HUMAN EMOTION "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved." Helen Keller While traveling through life, I have made choices that have injured myself and others. Others have made choices that have hurt me. Remembering and writing about my past has proved to bring up a plethora of negative emotions. At this moment I feel pain, remorse, anger, frustration, and am overwhelmed. Every human on earth experiences these same feelings at one time or another. This is part of what I am here for. How could I ever comprehend bliss without experiencing misery? How could I enjoy inspiration without suffering depression? How could I appreciate peace without encountering turmoil? I am grateful for the problems life gives me -- partnered with the emotions they bring -- because without the bad I could not understand the good. Everything has its opposite. Things will always change. Things will always get better, just like the sun shines after each storm. The good news is that even though I may be experiencing negative feelings, I am learning empathy and I am gaining wisdom. And how much more will I value the rays of sunshine that break through the gray clouds? One day at a time... I will allow myself the honor of feeling human emotion. I will ask my Higher Power to give me comfort in my hardships and to help me remember why I am here. I will ask my Higher Power to open my heart to the lessons I am learning. For today, with hope and faith, I will look for the sunbeams shining through the haze. ~ Susanne ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is needed or wanted. The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track. - Pg. 97 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Compulsion is a word you will hear a lot now that you have made the decision to begin recovery. You may often feel compelled to drink or use drugs again even when you don't want to. Compulsion is a symptom of our disease and we use all the new tools of our program to counteract compulsions. Please help me understand that compulsion is a symptom of my disease and as such need not be acted upon. I offer my compulsive behavior to God, as I understand God. Entering the Darkness Today, I will allow myself to enter into the dark and searing painful experiences of my past, and cry it all out. If I can bring emotional literacy and forgiveness into the 'occupied territory' of my inner world, I can give myself the freedom I desire. I have a world within me that is deep and peaceful. The grief that I carry hidden in silence has great feelings in the present, and I release them. There is no longer any safety for me in hiding. My security comes from full awareness and acceptance of who I am. Until I understand my grief and allow myself to know it, I will not be free of its grip. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You must be prepared to make some unpopular decisions when you live by principle. You will not be able to please everyone. Be firm with others as you chose the principle and not the personality; be firm with your personality as it butts heads with your principles. By practicing principles in all my affairs, I learn not to 'people please' but to 'Higher Power Please.' "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If a solution isn't practical, it isn't spiritual. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I know that I cannot to hurt by anyone if I consistently look for their best. Today I continue to search out the best in all my relationships, looking for something I can love in everyone. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's amazing how much we can learn after we think we know it all. - Anon. |
June 7
Daily Reflections LONG-TERM HOPE Since most of us are born with an abundance of natural desires, it isn't strange that we often let these far exceed their intended purpose. When they drive us blindly, or we willfully demand that they supply us with more satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or due us, that is the point at which we depart from the degree of perfection that God wishes for us here on earth. That is the measure of our character defects, or, if you wish, of our sins. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 65 This is where long-term hope is born and perspective is gained, both of the nature of my illness and the path of my recovery. The beauty of A.A. lies in knowing that my life, with God's help, will improve. The A.A. journey becomes richer, the understanding becomes truth, the dreams become realities and today becomes forever. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcoholism is a progressive illness. We go through the three stages of social drinking, trouble drinking, and merry-go-round drinking. We land in hospitals and jails. We eventually lose our homes, our families, and our self-respect. Yes, alcoholism is a progressive illness and there are only three ends to it--the insane asylum, the morgue, or total abstinence. Will I choose not to take the first drink? Meditation For The Day You not only can live a new life but you also can grow in grace and power and beauty. Reach ever forward and upward after the things of the spirit. In the animal world, the very form of an animal changes to enable it to reach that upon which it delights to feed. Your whole character changes as you reach upward for the things of the spirit for beauty, for love, for honesty, for purity, and for unselfishness. Reaching after these things of the spirit, your whole nature becomes changed so that you can best receive and delight in the wonders of the abundant life. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may reach forward and upward. I pray that my character may be changed by this reaching upward for the things of the spirit. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Tolerance in Practice, p. 158 "We found that the principles of tolerance and love had to be emphasized in actual practice. We can never say (or insinuate) to anyone that he must agree to our formula or be excommunicated. The atheist may stand up in an A.A. meeting still denying the Deity, yet reporting how vastly he has been changed in attitude and outlook. Much experience tells us he will presently change his mind about God, but nobody tells him he must do so. "In order to carry the principles of inclusiveness and tolerance still further, we make no religious requirement of anyone. All people having an alcoholic problem who wish to get rid of it and so make a happy adjustment with the circumstances of their lives, become A.A. members by simply associating with us. Nothing but sincerity is needed. But we do not demand even this. "In such an atmosphere the orthodox, the unorthodox, and the believer mix happily and usefully together. An opportunity for spiritual growth is open to all." Letter, 1940 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Deciding outcomes Guidance No matter how limited our opportunities may be, we always have choices and decisions to make. With any choice or decision, it’s only good sense to make the one that seems likely to have the best outcome. If we’re following our program, however, we should not be dismayed when outcomes turn out to be unfavorable or take turns that disappoint us. We can see only dimly into the future, and we have no way of knowing what will eventually come about as a result of our choices. We do know that the meeting of the first two AA members actually came about as a result of a business disappointment. We can always find other examples of disappointing outcomes that proved to be good breaks as time passed. This is not an attempt to rationalize bad situations, if God is in charge of our lives, we need not fear what each outcome might be. Though I will choose and decide as sensibly as possible, I'll not be excessively concerned about outcomes. My long-term good is assured as I follow God's plan in my life. "For those who love God, all things work together for good." ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Forgiveness is the way to true health and happiness.---Gerald Jampolsky We can't afford to hold grudges. We have all felt hurt by others at times. But when we stay angry at another person, it hurts us. It keeps our wounds open. It takes our energy away from healing. We can forgive now. We know that living our program of honesty and love make us safe. We don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be angry. We don't have to let old hurts stand in our way. We let them go. We empty the angers from the hearts to clear the way for love. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me forgive the people I'm still angry with. Help me see that each of those people taught me something about myself. Action for the Day: Am I holding on to anger and resentment? If so, I'll make a list today, and I'll talk with my sponsor about ways to let go of them. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Without discipline, there's no life at all. --Katharine Hepburn Procrastination is habitual. It's perhaps a habit we've struggled with over the years, and not one that can be willed away. It eats at us, no doubt. How many times have we gone to bed at night depressed, discouraged, angry with ourselves for not finishing a job we promised ourselves, or someone else, we'd do! Sometimes it feels hopeless. The tasks awaiting our attention pile up, seem impossible to complete. But there is hope. The program has offered us an easy solution. We have only this day to concern ourselves with. We can break the spell of procrastination, lethargy, immobility, if we choose. We can pick a task that needs attention, any task, preferably a small one for today. Maybe it's writing a letter, or fixing a hem, or making an appointment to see a doctor. Deciding to do something, and then doing it, breaks through the barriers that have caged us. Immediately we will sense the surge of freedom. In this moment we can always act. And any act will free us. When procrastination blocks us, our senses are dead to the friends close to us. It's as though we have stepped outside of the circle of life. The real gifts of sobriety are beyond our reach when we choose inaction. I will get free. I will tackle a small task today. It will bless me in special ways. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. p. 58 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. During one session she suggested that I try not drinking at all one weekend. "Okay," I said. She also suggested that I send the kids off somewhere for the weekend because I might be irritable. p. 400 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." When that lifted, a wonderful thing had happened. The head promoter wrote the Foundation office. He said he wished he'd paid some attention to A.A. experience. Then he did something else that was to become an A.A. classic. It all went on a little card about golf-score size. The cover read: "Middleton Group #1. Rule #62." Once the card was unfolded, a single pungent sentence leaped to the eye: "Don't take yourself too dam* seriously." p. 149 ************************************************** ********* God's gracious gifts can be experienced by all who believe, and we can fully enjoy its blessings without diminishing their enjoyment by others. Knowing God and His limitless provisions, we are never deprived, even though others are drawing on them, too. Joy, assurance, peace and the awareness of God's presence are just a few of the many benefits that are given without measure for everyone to enjoy. We need only accept our gifts. Remember, the well of God's blessings will never run dry. --Our Daily Bread We must be the change we wish to see in the world. --Mahatma Gandhi Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. --Confucius (551 - 479 B.C.) Philosopher Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. --Khalil Gibbon (1883 – 1931) Poet Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. --Oliver Goldsmith "We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more." --Codependent No More ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GREED "One of the weakness of our age is our apparent inability to distinguish our needs from our greeds." --Don Robinson I was a greedy drunk. A greedy man. Spoiled, selfish and demanding. I felt that the world owed me a living and if I did not get my way, I sulked, cried or tried to hurt people. And this greedy attitude to life only made me sad, dull and boring. Greed, in this sense, could not work because what I was craving would never satisfy me. Then I learned how to "let go". Instead of demanding, I learned how to wait. Instead of consuming large amounts of alcohol, I practiced abstinence. Instead of expecting life on my terms, I went with the natural flow of life. I became happy, joyous and free. A miracle? Yes. I accepted my "needs" and with the acceptance came the satisfaction. Lord, only when I accept my hunger for You am I truly satisfied. ************************************************** ********* Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain. Philippians 2:14-16 "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another." John 1:16 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Your thoughts can be your worst enemy if you let them run away with you. Lord, free me to enjoy each moment of my day no matter what circumstances surround me. Be honest with yourself in every situation. Lord, help me recognize that my needs, feelings and my being are important just as they are in all others. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Someone Who Believes In Me "Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery." Basic Text, p. 96 Not all of us arrive in NA and automatically stay clean. But if we keep coming back, we find in Narcotics Anonymous the support we need for our recovery. Staying clean is easier when we have someone who believes in us even when we don't believe in ourselves. Even the most frequent relapser in NA usually has one staunch supporter who is always there, no matter what. It is imperative that we find that one person or group of people who believes in us. When we ask them if we will ever get clean, they will always reply, "Yes, you can and you will. Just keep coming back!" We all need someone who believes in us, especially when we can't believe in ourselves. When we relapse, we undermine our already shattered self-confidence, sometimes so badly that we begin to feel utterly hopeless. At such times, we need the support of our loyal NA friends. They tell us that this can be our last relapse. They know from experience that if we keep coming to meetings, we will eventually get clean and stay clean. It's hard for many of us to believe in ourselves. But when someone loves us unconditionally, offering support no matter how many times we've relapsed, recovery in NA becomes a little more real for us. Just for today: I will find someone who believes in me. I will believe in them. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The human brain forgets ninety percent of what goes on. --Jan Milner There were two women who shared a house and raised their daughters, two toddlers, together. Then one of the women got transferred to another city and moved with her daughter. Ten years later, they had a reunion. The mothers asked their kids what they remembered about living together. Did they remember all the books? No. Did they remember a mom in the kitchen every morning, fixing eggs and toast? No. What they remembered was playing in the pink bathtub for hours, pulling the pink shower curtain shut for privacy. And the morning the mothers sneaked in, turned off the lights, threw plastic cups and spoons over the curtain and cried, "It's raining spoons!" They laughed and laughed. We are lucky in this life--our minds think laughter is what's worth remembering. What laughter from yesterday can I remember today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A shortcut is often the quickest way to some place you weren't going. --Classic Crossword Puzzles We try shortcuts when we are in a hurry. The founders of this program tell us many people tried to find an easier, softer way because this one seemed too hard and too slow. Shortcuts to growth lead to dead ends and detours. Many men have experimented with shortcuts like "the geographical cure," "controlled use," "get rid of this partner and try someone else," "abstinence without the spiritual part of recovery," or "selecting some of the Steps and bypassing others." The shortest road to one's own spirituality is the long road we see before us. We may wish for something more to our liking. But that is not an option for those of us who choose to grow toward full manhood. We deal with one day's - or one hour's - part of the road at a time. Maybe we see a job we have to do, a challenge to face, an unfinished talk with someone. Our task is to take this day and, in partnership with our Higher Power, see it in the light of our spiritual path. I pray for faithfulness to this program. I will avoid shortcuts, allowing my spirituality to grow and deepen. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Without discipline, there's no life at all. --Katharine Hepburn Procrastination is habitual. It's perhaps a habit we've struggled with over the years, and not one that can be willed away. It eats at us, no doubt. How many times have we gone to bed at night depressed, discouraged, angry with ourselves for not finishing a job we promised ourselves, or someone else, we'd do! Sometimes it feels hopeless. The tasks awaiting our attention pile up, seem impossible to complete. But there is hope. The program has offered us an easy solution. We have only this day to concern ourselves with. We can break the spell of procrastination, lethargy, immobility, if we choose. We can pick a task that needs attention, any task, preferably a small one for today. Maybe it's writing a letter, or fixing a hem, or making an appointment to see a doctor. Deciding to do something, and then doing it, breaks through the barriers that have caged us. Immediately we will sense the surge of freedom. In this moment we can always act. And any act will free us. When procrastination blocks us, our senses are dead to the friends close to us. It's as though we have stepped outside of the circle of life. The real gifts of sobriety are beyond our reach when we choose inaction. I will get free. I will tackle a small task today. It will bless me in special ways. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Into Orbit It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER. --Codependent No More I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreciated him before. I'll be the one to do that, and then he'll change. . . . She's never been with anybody trustworthy before. I'll prove how trustworthy I am, and then she'll be able to love. . . . Nobody's been able to get to her, to conquer her, before. I'll be the one to do that. . . . Nobody's ever really given him a chance. . . . Nobody's ever really believed in him before. . . . These are warning signs. Red lights. Red flags. In fact, if we're thinking these thoughts, they need to be stop signs. If we have gotten hooked into believing that somehow we will be the one who will make the difference in someone's life, if we are trying to prove how good we can be for someone, we may be in trouble. This is a game. A deception. It won't work. It'll make us crazy. We can trust that. We're not seeing things clearly. Something's going on with us. It will be self-defeating. We may be "the one" all right - the one to wind up victimized. The whole thought pattern reeks of codependency, of not being responsible for oneself, and of victimization. Each person needs to do his or her own work. Nobody in the past has really understood him. . . . Nobody has seen what I see in her. . . . It's a set up. It sets us up to stop paying attention to ourselves while we focus too much on the other person. It takes us away from our path and often puts us in orbit. Nobody has appreciated him enough. . . . Nobody has been good enough to her, or done for her what I can do. . . . It's a rescue. It's a game move, a game we don't have to play. We don't have to prove we're the one. If we're out to show people we're the best thing that ever happened to them, it may be time to see if they're the best thing that ever happened to us. We have not been appointed as guardian angel, godmother, godfather, or "the one who will." The help, support, and encouragement that truly benefits others and ourselves emerges naturally. Let it. God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships. Today I am willing to experience all my feelings without hiding or running away. I am feeling alive in all moments and I am living this day to the fullest. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Never Say Never On my trip, I stayed at several parks. The lodging was usually fine, but the ambiance and setting often weren’t what I wanted. I needed smaller, quieter places. At one point in my journey I said, Never again will I stay in a state park. Shortly after, I found myself nestled in a room at Olympic Park in Washington. It was one of the finest, quietest, most healing places I had ever encountered. I laughed at myself. By saying never, I had nearly cheated myself out of this experience. Please don’t say never. It sets up resistance. Challenges life. Challenges fate. And closes doors. Never is dogmatic and judgemental. Never means limited thinking. And never usually means probably. When we say never it is sometimes because we have prejudged a thing without experiencing it. Other times, we say never because in the past a particular experience with a place or person was unpleasant. To say never means we’re expecting all similar experiences to be unpleasant. It doesn’t leave room for change or new and different experiences. Learn from the past. Trust yourself. Trust your experiences, even the ones that haven’t worked for you. But please don’t say never. Stay open to all the universe holds. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go You’ve got all the time you need If we believe our relationships or jobs are finite situations, then it becomes easy to feel stressed if things don’t go the way we planned in the time frame that we expected. The promotion doesn’t come in time, and now our career plan is off track. And relationship problems become huge, dramatic monsters– a series of issues– that eat away every spare minute. But if we believe that we are living in an infinite time frame, stress begins to dissipate. If I don’t get the promotion this week, maybe it will come next month and who knows, I may not even want it by then. Some of those big, monstrous relationship issues just sort themselves out if they’re not constantly held under a magnifying glass. And the moments spent with our loved ones become more enjoyable because we’re not continually working on the relationship. When we behave on a finite scale, we can get so wrapped up in the details of a few moments that we cannot free ourselves to enjoy the next moment. When we start living on an infinite plane, it is easier to relax and let the universe carry us down the river, bringing us to all the lessons and joy that we need. God, help me relax and know that if a situation doesn’t come to pass today, eventually it will work itself out. And I’ve got all the time I need. ************************************************** Putting Power in Perspective Always Be for Something by Madisyn Taylor There is more power in being FOR something rather than AGAINST something. As human beings, we cannot help but be subject to our preferences. However, we do have control over the manner in which these manifest themselves in our lives. Every value we hold dear is an expression of either support or opposition, and it is our perspective that determines whether we are for something or against it. As an example of a situation we are all familiar with at this time: We can direct our energy and intentions into activities that promote peace rather than using our resources to speak out in opposition of war. On the surface, these appear to be two interchangeable methods of expressing one virtue, yet being for something is a vastly more potent means of inspiring change because it carries with it the power of constructive intent. When you support a cause, whether your support is active or passive, you contribute to the optimism that fuels all affirmative change. Optimistic thoughts energize people, giving them hope and inspiring them to work diligently on behalf of what they believe in. Being for something creates a positive shift in the universe, which means that neither you nor those who share your vision will have any trouble believing that transformation on a grand scale is indeed possible. To be against something is typically easy, as you need only speak out in opposition to it. Standing up for something is often more challenging, because you may be introducing an idea to people that may scare them on a soul level. Throughout your life, you have likely been told that the actions of one person will seldom have a measurable impact on the world. Yet your willingness to stand up for what you believe in instead of decrying what you oppose can turn the tides of fate. The thoughts you project when you choose to adopt a positive perspective will provide you with a means to actively promote your values and, eventually, foster lasting change. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Few of us are entirely free from a sense of guilt. We may feel guilty because of our words or actions, or for things left undone. We may even feel guilty because of irrational or false accusations by others. When I’m troubled by a gnawing feeling of guilt, obviously I can’t put into my day all I’m capable of. So I must rid myself of guilt — not by pushing it aside, or ignoring it, but by identifying it and correcting the cause. Have I finally begun to learn to “keep it simple…”? Today I Pray May I learn not to let myself be “guilted,” made to feel guilty when I don’t consider that I am. Since I doubtless have the dregs of guilt left over from my addictive behavior, I do not need the extra burden of unreasonable blame laid on me. I count on God to help me sort out and get rid of these twinges and pangs of guilt, which whether justified or not, need to be recognized and unloaded. Today I Will Remember The verdict of guilty is not for life. ************************************************** One More Day To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. – Henri Frederic Amiel We often strive to imitate people we admire — special teachers, our parents, or friends. Many older people we choose to emulate have remained productive members of their communities and have found significant ways to help people. If we can be active, busy, and helpful we will not only enhance our lives, we become the role models for those younger than we are. There are some people who seem to age so gracefully that they have the ability to make everyone around them feel special. We all appreciate friends like that, and we can become that way too. I will live my life so well that I am a role model for young people. ************************************ Food For Thought Perfectionism Part of the ego reduction necessary to our recovery is the acceptance of the fact that we are not and never will be perfect. Perfectionism gets in the way of recovery because it imposes impossible, unrealistic goals which guarantee failure. If we do not think we have to be perfect, then we can accept our mistakes as learning experiences and be willing to try again. Deepening acquaintance with our Higher Power is good insurance against perfectionism. We come to believe that He accepts and loves us as we are, and this gives us the courage and humility to accept ourselves. We are not perfect, but we are growing. In spite of our weaknesses, we can serve others according to God's plan for our lives. Accepting our own limitations makes us more tolerant of the faults and weaknesses of those around us. Together, we progress. I am thankful that I don't need to be perfect. ***************************************** One Day At A Time COMPASSION “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because sometime in your life you will have been all of these." ~ George Washington Carver This Twelve Step program works wonders on many levels. But one of the most noticible changes I've seen in my life has been in the area of compassion. Eating disorders can really mess a person up. All of us who have the disease of compulsive eating, in no matter what form, have been laughed at, discriminated against, or generally overlooked by those who don't suffer from our disease. So, one would think that compulsive eaters would be more loving and understanding to their fellows. For the most part this is true. But I have seen compulsive eaters be just as cruel as our more normal-weight counterparts. If we can mistreat each other, how can we ever expect others to treat us differently? We need to remember where we were in our disease, for there are others in that same situation. We need to see ourselves in the newcomers to our program, because we run the risk of returning to where they are now. "There but for the grace of God go I" takes on a whole new meaning when we apply that phrase to our situation. Sometimes we see varying degrees of success in this program of recovery. We must each work our program, and allow our fellows to work their program. It's not up to us to take someone else's inventory concerning the success or failure of their program. We need only to keep our own side of the street clean, and to show compassion to those of our fellows who are struggling. After all, compassion was what prompted the founding of our fellowship in the first place. One day at a time... I will consciously practice compassion toward those who still suffer, because I remember where I came from on this path, and realize I could return there. ~ JAR ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Next day found the prospect more receptive. He had been thinking it over. 'Maybe you're right,' he said. 'God ought to be able to do anything.' Then he added, 'He sure didn't do much for me when I was trying to fight this booze racket alone.' On the third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his Creator, and said he was perfectly willing to do anything necessary. His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she saw something different about her husband already. He had begun to have a spiritual experience. - Pg. 158 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The darker the shadow, the brighter the Light. As we stop using and leave the shadow of drug addiction, we slowly begin to see the new light of our life. Sometimes it is so bright, it hurts. We are not used to it. God, as I understand You, as I clean up and the Light of recovery hurts, help me understand, adjust, and be grateful to leave the shadow. Prayer and Miracles Today, I will pray for a miracle in a situation that seems too much for me to handle or understand. There are times when I just don't have what it takes to work out a situation. I'm too loaded up with fears and anxieties. What could it hurt to pray for a little divine guidance or intervention? At the very least, it will help ease my burden; and at best, it will aid in a genuine shift in perception that might truly help my situation. When I feel stuck and as if I have explored every option and am still nowhere, I will pray for a miracle. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We need special people in our lives so that we can travel the path of recovery. The special people are easy to find, they are right in front of you. They are called 'winners.' I stick with the winners and win with the stickers. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You're not responsible for your disease, but you are responsible for your recovery. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am willing to experience all my feelings without hiding or running away. I am feeling alive in all moments and I am living this day to the fullest. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote People talk about an invisible line that you cross and become an alcoholic. Some of us were born on the other side of that line. - Danny T. |
June 8
Daily Reflections OPENING UP TO CHANGE Self-searching is the means by which we bring new vision, action, and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. With it comes the development of that kind of humility that makes it possible for us to receive God's help. . . . we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life -- the one that did not work -- for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever. AS BILL SEES IT, pp. 10, 8 I have been given a daily reprieve contingent upon my spiritual condition, provided I seek progress, not perfection. To become ready for change, I practice willingness, opening myself to possibilities of change. If I realize there are defects that hinder my usefulness in A.A. and toward others, I become ready by meditating and receiving direction. "Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely" (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 58). To let go and let God, I need only surrender my old ways to Him; I no longer fight nor do I try to control, but simply believe that, with God's help, I am changed and affirming this belief makes me ready. I empty myself to be full of awareness, light, and love, and I am ready to face each day with hope. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. We always get worse, never better. We are never cured. Our alcoholism can only be arrested. No matter how long we have been sober, if we try liquor again, we're as bad or worse than we ever were. There is no exception to this rule in the whole history of A.A. We can never recapture the good times of the past. They are gone forever. Will I try to recapture them? Meditation For The Day Your life has been given to you mainly for the purpose of training your soul. This life we live is not so much for the body as for the soul. We often choose the way of life that best suits the body, not the way that best suits the soul. God wants you to choose what suits the soul as well as the body. Accept this belief and a wonderful molding of character is the result. Reject it and God's purpose for your life is frustrated, and your spiritual progress is delayed. Your soul is being trained by the good you choose. Thus the purpose of your life is being accomplished. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may choose what is good for my soul. I pray that I may realize God's purpose for my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Between the Extremes, p. 159 "The real question is whether we can learn anything from our experiences upon which we may grow and help others to grow in the likeness and image of God. "We know that if we rebel against doing that which is reasonably possible for us, then we will be penalized. And we will be equally penalized if we presume in ourselves a perfection that simply is not there. "Apparently, the course of relative humility and progress will have to lie somewhere between these extremes. In our slow progress away from rebellion, true perfection is doubtless several millennia away." Letter, 1959 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Quality Of Sobriety Self-Improvement There is such a thing as length---or quantity---of sobriety, and there is also quality. It's generally accepted that sobriety ought to be something more than the single process of staying free from alcohol or drugs. We're on shaky ground, however, when we begin passing judgment on another person's quality of sobriety. We only have responsibility for the quality of our own sobriety, and it is not for us to decide how another should think or live. We may not be able to avoid noticing others' actions that we consider to be wrong, but we can keep our thoughts and opinions to ourselves. If we do wish to voice any opinions, it should be in terms of our own inventory---not the other person's. Some old-timers in Twelve Step programs develop crankiness that borders on resentment. Out of this crankiness come complaints about the way newcomers work the program. Our only responsibility is to treat these complaints with good humor and to avoid becoming cranky ourselves. Recovery alcoholics must continue to have the freedom to select any quality of sobriety they choose. Today I'll strive for a high-quality sobriety that includes cheerfulness, confidence, patience, and good humor. I won't be responsible for monitoring another's sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple It's not enough to talk to plants, you also have to listen.---David Bergman Sometimes, we find ourselves doing all the talking. When this happens, we need to stop, think, and listen. When we do all the talking, we're trying to control what happens. But when we listen, we get better results. No one has to be in control. What a relief! And we're learning to listen better every day. It's great---the care, love, and help we find---just by listening. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me learn the "give-and-take" of talking and listening. Action for the Day: Today, I'll focus on listening, not only to other people but to my Higher Power's voice. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The process of living, for each of us, is pretty similar. For every gain there is a setback. For every success, a failure. For every moment of joy, a time of sadness. For every hope realized, one is dashed. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh The balance of events in our lives is much like the balance of nature. The pendulum swings; every extreme condition is offset by its opposite, and we learn to appreciate the gifts . . . of the bad times as well as the periods of rest. On occasion we'll discover that our course in life has changed direction. We need not be alarmed. Step Three has promised that we are in caring hands. Our every concern, every detail of our lives will be taken care of, in the right way, at the right time. We can develop gratitude for all conditions, good or bad. Each has its necessary place in our development as healthy, happy women. We need the sorrows along with the joys if we are to gain new insights. Our failures keep us humble; they remind us of our need for the care and guidance of others. And for every hope dashed, we can remember, one will be realized. Life is a process. I will accept the variations with gratitude. Each, in its own way, blesses me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it--then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. p. 58 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. I used to watch a lot of late-night movies--it was my time to relax by having a few drinks, a habit that started in night school when I had a full-time job and was studying chemistry at night. I had seen movie versions of what happened to people who had drinking problems The Lost Weekend, Days of Wine and Roses, and others. And so I was nervous about raging, losing control, and maybe being violent as my wife has said I was. So we picked up the kids and the booze (all of it) and took all to my wife's parents. p. 400 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Four - "Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole." Thus it was that under Tradition Four an A.A. group had exercised its right to be wrong. Moreover, it had performed a great service for Alcoholics Anonymous, because it had been humbly willing to apply the lessons it learned. It had picked itself up with a laugh and gone on to better things. Even the chief architect, standing in the ruins of his dream, could laugh at himself - and that is the very acme of humility. p. 149 ************************************************** ********* "Love does not measure; it just gives." --Mother Teresa We do not let things change us, we change things. --Joyce Meyer Well done is better than well said. --Benjamin Franklin "Worry is rehearsing fear about a made-up, fabricated event in the future that most of the time never happens." --Jeff Alexander "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." --Jonathan Larson "When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself." --Louis Nizer ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DOUBT "I respect faith but doubt is what gets you an education." --Wilson Mizner It is okay to question things. It is okay to say that I do not agree. Today I have the freedom to doubt opinions and attitudes. In my childhood I was never allowed to do this. I had to accept the Bible because the preacher said it was God's word. I had to accept that only Christians went to Heaven because Grandma said so! I had to believe that Jews and Blacks were "inferior" because family and friends said so - and to doubt them was to be different. I was dependent upon an attitude towards life that I was uncomfortable with. It brought me pain, anger, loneliness and guilt in later life. Then I learned that growth comes to those who are prepared to doubt or disagree with an existing system. God is to be found in the questions. Spirituality is discovered in the shades of life. O God, part of Your glory and splendor is Your unending mystery. ************************************************** ********* My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to accomplish His work. John 4:34 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. James 1:19-20 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Little acts of kindness throughout the day will make your life so much better and bring a little sunshine to others as well. Lord, may I make a habit of being gentle and loving with those around me. Everything we need to deal with life's problems lies within us. Our trials are tests to see if we can discover the solution. Lord, I call out Your name when I face my difficulties and together we will overcome them. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Only Requirement "This program offers hope. All you have to bring with you is the desire to stop using and the willingness to try this new way of life." IP No. 16, "For the Newcomer" From time to time we wonder if we're "doing it right" in Narcotics Anonymous. Are we attending enough meetings? Are we using our sponsor, or working the steps, or speaking, or reading, or living the "right" way? We value the fellowship of recovering addicts - we don't know what we'd do without it. What if the way we're practicing our program is "wrong?" Does that make us "bad" NA members? We can settle our insecurities by reviewing our Third Tradition, which assures us that "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using." There aren't any rules that say we've got to attend this many meetings or these particular meetings, or work the "steps" this way at this pace, or live our lives to suit these people in order to remain NA members in good standing. It's true that, if we want the kind of recovery we see in members we respect, well want to practice the kind of program that's made their recovery possible. But NA is a fellowship of freedom; we work the program the best way for us, not for someone else. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using. Just for today: I will look at the program I'm working in light of my own recovery. I will practice that program to the best of my ability. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Caring is everything; nothing matters but caring. --Baron Friedrich Von Hugel The caring we receive from someone we love when we're sick can heal us just as much as the medicine we take. For children, Mom is usually the one who makes sure we get enough rest by having us stay in bed. By bringing us juice and aspirins she helps us keep our fevers down. She also lifts our spirits when she tells us a funny story. Perhaps the next time a loved one is sick we can do the special and caring things. We can bring a favorite magazine or a cold glass of water, tell a joke, or just sit and be there for a while. Whether the sick person is a parent or a brother or sister, when we help care for another, we complete a circle of caring begun by a parent so long ago. Does someone need my care today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Come, Love! Sing On! Let me hear you sing this song - sing for joy and laugh, for I the creator am truly subject to all creatures. --Mechtild of Magdeburg Recovery without joy and song and playfulness is incomplete. The beauty of music uplifts our spirits and shows us the face of our Creator. For many men, music is their means of meditation and conscious contact with their Higher Power. When we experience the creativity of a musical piece, as it speaks to us, we take a step beyond the practical world, into the profound level of creation. Some people say, "How can you celebrate when there is so much suffering, so much to grieve about?" We have grieved; we continue to grieve alongside our joy. But we need not pour all our energies into the painful and sad. Life is also wonderful. Music and dance and the joy of good fellowship enrich our lives and strengthen us to go on. Praise the spirit of our Creator for all that is given to us! You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The process of living, for each of us, is pretty similar. For every gain there is a setback. For every success, a failure. For every moment of joy, a time of sadness. For every hope realized, one is dashed. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh The balance of events in our lives is much like the balance of nature. The pendulum swings; every extreme condition is offset by its opposite, and we learn to appreciate the gifts . . . of the bad times as well as the periods of rest. On occasion we'll discover that our course in life has changed direction. We need not be alarmed. Step Three has promised that we are in caring hands. Our every concern, every detail of our lives will be taken care of, in the right way, at the right time. We can develop gratitude for all conditions, good or bad. Each has its necessary place in our development as healthy, happy women. We need the sorrows along with the joys if we are to gain new insights. Our failures keep us humble; they remind us of our need for the care and guidance of others. And for every hope dashed, we can remember, one will be realized. Life is a process. I will accept the variations with gratitude. Each, in its own way, blesses me. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Fun Have some fun - with life, with the day. Life is not drudgery; that is an old belief. Let go of it. We are on an adventure, a journey. Events will come to pass that we cannot now fathom. Replace heaviness and weariness of spirit with joy. Surround yourself with people and things that bring lightness of spirit. Become sensitive to lightness of spirit. The journey can be an exciting adventure. Let yourself enjoy it. God, help me let go of my need to meet dysfunctional challenges in my relationships. Today I do all the footwork I can to make my life work. I trust the results to God and know that they will be just what is good and right for me. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Be Gentle and Loving As I drove into Utah, past Zion National Park. I began to feel the oddest sensation emanating from the earth, emanating from me. It was soft. Lovely Light. All evening, deer had been crossing my path, coming to me from out of the woods. That’s when I remembered. In the Medicine Cards, deer are the symbol for gentleness and love. The feeling coming from the ground, through the air was gentleness, kindness, and love. The universe was reminding me of something. Iy was a place inside me, one I had discovered before, a place of gentleness and love. Somewhere along my life’s journey, with all its trials, moving about, business, and experiences, I had let the gentleness slip away. Now it was time to go there again. It was a reminder to be gentle and kind to others, be gentle and kind to myself. Gentleness, kindness, and love are more than places to visit. They are places we can take with us wherever we go. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of judgements We can’t relax when we’re being judgemental. As soon as we decide that a thing or situation is either good or bad, we place ourselves in the situation of having to do something about it. For example, if someone is good, we begin to compare ourselves to that person. Am I better or worse? What can I do to improve? If we decide that a thing is bad, then our conscience tells us that we must try to get rid of it. Either way, we get so busy thinking about our judgements and allowing our minds to create scenarios that we cannot relax and enjoy things the way they are. Drop your judgemental mind today and relax. If blessings or good people have come into your life, let them be. You do not have to be better or worse than they are. If a thing is damaging or hurtful to you, you will know that and you can deal with it when the time comes. Be aware of the people and things in your life. Relax and enjoy them without passing judgement on them. God, help me learn to enjoy the people and experiences in my life. ************************************************** Sitting with Our Sadness The Heart of Humanity by Madisyn Taylor Sitting with our sadness takes the courage to believe that we can bear the pain and we will come out the other side. The last thing most of us want to hear or think about when we are dealing with profound feelings of sadness is that deep learning can be found in this place. In the midst of our pain, we often feel picked on by life, or overwhelmed by the enormity of some loss, or simply too exhausted to try and examine the situation. We may feel far too disappointed and angry to look for anything resembling a bright side to our suffering. Still, somewhere in our hearts, we know that we will eventually emerge from the depths into the light of greater awareness. Remembering this truth, no matter how elusive it seems, can help. The other thing we often would rather not hear when we are dealing with intense sadness is that the only way out of it is through it. Sitting with our sadness takes the courage to believe that we can bear the pain and the faith that we will come out the other side. With courage, we can allow ourselves to cycle through the grieving process with full inner permission to experience it. This is a powerful teaching that sadness has to offer us—the ability to surrender and the acceptance of change go hand in hand. Another teaching of sadness is compassion for others who are in pain, because it is only in feeling our own pain that we can really understand and allow for someone else’s. Sadness is something we all go through, and we all learn from it and are deepened by its presence in our lives. While our own individual experiences of sadness carry with them unique lessons, the implications of what we learn are universal. The wisdom we gain from going through the process of feeling loss, heartbreak, or deep disappointment gives us access to the heart of humanity. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day A friend in The Program taught me to look at excessive guilt in an entirely new way, suggesting that guilt was nothing but a sore of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine, he said. But guilt, no. I’ve since learned that condemning ourselves for mistakes we’ve made is just as bad as condemning others for theirs. We’re not really equipped to make judgments, not even of ourselves. Do I still sometimes “beat myself to death” when I appear to be failing? Today I Pray May I be wary of keeping my guilty role alive long after I should have left it behind. May I know the difference between regret and guilt. May I recognize that long-term guilt may infer an exaggerated idea of my own importance, as well as present self-righteousness. May God alone be my judge. Today I Will Remember Guilt may be pride in reverse. ************************************************** One More Day Sometimes what we think is so impossible turns out to be possible after all. K. O’Brien The pure joy of imagination is that it holds no bounds. Even if we are tethered by poor health we can still believe there are better days ahead. And in truth, we can find worthwhile ways to spend our precious time and energy if we wish. Time spent lost in thought is not wasted, for these precious moments let us remember wonderful times gone by and allow us to rehearse our role in the future. We should imagine ourselves as proud and fully capable. This may, of course, not be true, but the more we try to the better we will be able to present ourselves in public. The easier it is for us to be in public, the more often we will go out. I am not wasting time when I daydream, for my dreams help me accept the changes in my life and allow me to practice for the future. ************************************ Food For Thought Trick or Treat Our devious minds have a way of enticing us with visions of sugar plum "goodies" which can trick us into forgetting that we are compulsive overeaters. What may once have been a treat is now, for us, poison. The so-called treat can trick us into taking the first compulsive bite, which we know is always our downfall. We need to change our thinking so that we no longer consider refined sugars and starches and former binge foods to be treats. Eating them has caused us great unhappiness in the past, and we will not be deluded into thinking that another time will be different. Through the OA program, we are gaining the self-knowledge which arms us against the assaults of temptation. Our enemy is clever. We need the protection of our Higher Power and the strength that comes from working the Twelve Steps. Protect me, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time TOGETHERNESS "The Praying Hands – let them be your reminder, if you need one, that no one ever makes it alone." Anonymous "I don't need a sponsor; God and I walk alone." "Why do I need to go to a meeting tonight? I'll be OK; I've got other things I need to be doing." "I can't sponsor, I haven't worked enough of the Steps yet, and besides, I haven't got time; it takes all my time to do MY program." When my thoughts drift in these directions, I am reminded of an old picture my grandfather had of "The Praying Hands" and of the story of two brothers, Albrecht and Albert Durer, both gifted in art. The Durer family was poor and only one brother could go to art school, so they tossed a coin; Albrecht went to art school while Albert worked hard to pay his brother's tuition at the Academy in Nuremburg. After a few years, the artist, Albrecht, said to his brother Albert, "I can afford for you to go to art school now, so I will finance YOUR education." But Albert, who had worked so hard in the dangerous mines, looked down at his work-worn, arthritic hands which had been smashed numerous times, and knew it was too late for him. He would never be an artist. So Albrecht painted his brother's hands and they are the hands we now see in copies of the painting ... two hands lifted up towards a Power Greater. I know that I, too, have my Higher Power waiting to help me if only I seek the help I need. I am reminded of the friends I have found in the fellowship. I remember how it feels to hold the hand of a shaky newcomer at the end of their first meeting, or the hand of my sponsor who reaches out to give me comfort when I share a personal hurt. One Day at a Time . . . Alone I have proved again and again that I am defenseless over my disease, but together – TOGETHER - with my Higher Power and all of my fellows, I have a Power and Strength I never believed possible. ~ Marlene ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. - Pgs. 72-73 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The worst form of blindness is emotional blindness. We say 'love is blind' but we must recognize that 'hate is blind', 'fear is blind', and 'anger is blind' as well. Intense emotions obscure our sight and in this first month, our emotions run amuck. We must accept this and use our program, treatment center, counselor, sponsor, and meetings as our 'seeing eye dog.' My Spiritual Source helps me recognize that my emotions are more intense now then usual. I may not be seeing life as clearly as I will in the future. Our Own Good Today, I accept that I do not always know what is best for me. There are times when I am completely confused about what to do for myself and for those around me, because I can't see how my own issues are surfacing and coloring my present. These are the days when I need to pray and to understand that my prayers are heard. I never whisper to God that I am not heard. Prayer is my medium for change and growth. It is with me all the time, and there is no moment when I can't elevate my consciousness and conscious contact through it. It is my way of talking to my higher self and turning over my lower self to the loving, compassionate care of a Higher Power. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Progress, not perfection-- No matter how long you have been in recovery, no matter how long you have worked the steps, you will never raise above the level of human being. I claim spiritual progress today, not spiritual perfection. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Take the First Step, not the Thirst Step Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I do all the footwork I can to make my life work. I trust the results to God and know that they will be just what is good and right for me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Robert Louis Stevenson nailed alcoholism with 'Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde'. He was either an alcoholic or he did very extensive research. Trip S. |
June 9
Daily Reflections LIVING IN THE NOW First, we try living in the now just in order to stay sober -- and it works. Once the idea has become a part of our thinking, we find that living life in 24 hour segments is an effective and satisfying way to handle many other matters as well. LIVING SOBER, p. 7 "One Day At A Time." To a newcomer this and other one-liners of A.A. may seem ridiculous. The passwords of the A.A. Fellowship can become lifelines in moments of stress. Each day can be like a rose unfurling according to the plan of a Power greater than myself. My program should be planted in the right location, just as it will need to be groomed, nourished, and protected from disease. My planting will require patience, and my realizing that some flowers will be more perfect than others. Each stage of the petals' unfolding can bring wonder and delight if I do not interfere or let my expectations override my acceptance -- and this brings serenity. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We finally came to the bottom. We did not have to be financially broke, although many of us were. But we were spiritually bankrupt. We had a soul-sickness, a revulsion against ourselves and against our way of living. Life had become impossible for us. We had to end it all or do something about it. Am I glad I did something about it? Meditation For The Day Faith is not seeing, but believing. I am in a box of space and time and cannot see spacelessness or eternity. But God is not within the shell of time and space. He is timeless and spaceless. He cannot be fully comprehended by our finite minds. But we must try to make a union between our purposes and the purposes of God. By trying to merge our minds with the mind of God, a oneness of purpose results. This oneness of purpose puts us in harmony with God and others. Evil comes from being in disharmony with God and good comes from being in harmony with Him. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be in harmony with God. I pray that I may get into the stream of goodness in the universe. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Rationalizers and the Self-Effacing, p. 160 We alcoholics are the biggest rationalizers in the world. Fortified with the excuse that we are doing great things for A.A., we can, through broken anonymity, resume our old and disastrous pursuit of personal power and prestige, public honors, and money--the same implacable urges that, when frustrated, once caused us to drink. << << << >> >> >> Dr. Bob was essentially a far more humble person than I, and anonymity came rather easily to him. When it was sure that he was mortally afflicted, some of his friends suggested that there should be a monument erected in honor of him and his wife, Anne--befitting a founder and his lady. Telling me about this, Dr. Bob grinned broadly and said, "God bless 'em. They mean well. But let's you and me get buried just like other folks." In the Akron cemetery where Dr. Bob and Anne lie, the simple stone says not a word about A.A. This final example of self-effacement is of more permanent worth to A.A. than any amount of public attention or any great monument. A.A. Comes Of Age 1. pp. 292-293 2. pp. 136-137 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Do I feel uneasy? Serenity When facing difficult situations, we can expect to feel a certain amount of discomfort. What's more often a problem for compulsive people is being tense and apprehensive even when things seem to be going well. Although many explanations are offered for this unpleasant feeling, the solution is to be found in the 12 Steps. The more secure we feel in our program, the less apprehension we'll have in facing the problems of living. With the program as our foundation, we will continue to develop more self-assurance as we go along. We may not immediately find this self-assurance, yet we should not hold back from normal duties and responsibilities. Most of the world's work and accomplishments are undertaken by people who do not necessarily feel confident and self-assured all the time. Why should it be any different for us? Whether I feel confident or not, I'll do my best today. I know that my fellowship, my program, and my Higher Power are fully supporting me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Anyone can blame; it takes a specialist to praise.---Konstantin Stanislawski Are we blamers? We sure were blamers when we were using alcohol and other drugs. Then everything was someone's fault. Some of us did our blaming out loud. And some of us blamed others silently. It's harder to praise than to blame people. Faults stand out like street signs, but the good things about people may be harder to see. We can see the good in people when we slow down, watch, and listen. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me pay attention to people around me. Help me praise them. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list three people who mean a lot to me. I'll write what I like about each of them. I'll talk to them and tell them what I wrote. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The process of living, for each of us, is pretty similar. For every gain there is a setback. For every success, a failure. For every moment of joy, a time of sadness. For every hope realized, one is dashed. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh The balance of events in our lives is much like the balance of nature. The pendulum swings; every extreme condition is offset by its opposite, and we learn to appreciate the gifts . . . of the bad times as well as the periods of rest. On occasion we'll discover that our course in life has changed direction. We need not be alarmed. Step Three has promised that we are in caring hands. Our every concern, every detail of our lives will be taken care of, in the right way, at the right time. We can develop gratitude for all conditions, good or bad. Each has its necessary place in our development as healthy, happy women. We need the sorrows along with the joys if we are to gain new insights. Our failures keep us humble; they remind us of our need for the care and guidance of others. And for every hope dashed, we can remember, one will be realized. Life is a process. I will accept the variations with gratitude. Each, in its own way, blesses me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Remember that we deal with alcohol--cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power--that One is God. May you find Him now! pp. 58-59 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. Much to my surprise the weekend went well--no problems--and in the next session I told my counselor so. She said, "What about the meeting?" I said, ,"What meeting?" She said, "The A.A. meeting." I said, "What A.A. meeting? We never talked about that." She said I had agreed to go to an A.A. meeting. So out came a meeting list. She explained about open and closed meetings. I decided on one I thought would be okay for me--a men's discussion group. They would be my kind of people, and the time fit into my schedule. The meeting list started on Sunday. I never started a project or anything else on Sunday. Monday was my M.A.S.H. night. Tuesday was Tuesday Night at the Movies, and I am a big old-movie fan. So Wednesday is when I decided to try this A.A. meeting. pp. 400-401 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." "Shoemaker, stick to thy last!" ... better do one thing supremely well than many badly. That is the central theme of this Tradition. Around it our Society gathers in unity. The very life of our Fellowship requires the preservation of this principle. p. 150 ************************************************** ********* Love should never be a conditional emotion. It should be a gift where you expect nothing in return. --unknown Take the program seriously, not yourself. --unknown We all have within us the capacity to be happy and to suffer. It all depends on which one our mind chooses to feed. --unknown Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." --James Baldwin "There is no greater treasure than the respect and love of a true friend." --Anonymous "Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have." --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation IDEALS "Every dogma has its day, but ideals are eternal." --Israel Zangwill For too long I lived in a box of rules and dogma. Life had to have definable answers and everything needed to be structured. Then the answers didn't seem to work. Nobody seemed interested in the answers I was giving. The world had moved on! I realized that life had to be lived, not simply talked about. Having the answers to questions that nobody was asking (including myself) seemed a waste of time. I was uncomfortable. I was living in the past. Spirituality is reality. It is okay to benefit from a tradition and then move on. I was not disloyal or a traitor because I had changed my mind. God and truth live in a changing world and if we are to grow, our perception of ourselves and life must change. Today I can accept this. Give me the willingness to change in my life. ************************************************** ********* I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:1-2 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 "I will save you; you will not fall by the sword but will escape with your life, because you trust in me, declares the LORD." Jeremiah 39:18 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Seek God's guidance, but know that the responsibility to act on it is yours. Lord, may I not be lazy because I have prayed and expect You to do everything for me. It is a bigger mistake to fear making a mistake than to actually make one. Lord, give me the confidence to live a full life and the ability to try again if I stumble. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Old Dreams Needn't Die "Lost dreams awaken and new possibilities arise." Basic Text, p. 88 Most of us had dreams when we were young. Whether we dreamed of a dynamic career, a large and loving family, or travels abroad, our dreams died when our addiction took hold. Anything we ever wanted for ourselves was cast away in our pursuit of drugs. Our dreams didn't go beyond the next drug and the euphoria we hoped it would bring. Now in recovery, we find a reason to hope that our lost dreams could still come true. No matter how old we are, how much our addiction has taken from us, or how unlikely it may seem, our freedom from active addiction gives us the freedom to pursue our ambitions. We may discover that we're very talented at something, or find a hobby we love, or learn that continuing our education can bring remarkable rewards. We used to put most of our energy into spinning excuses and rationalizations for our failures. Today, we go forward and make use of the many opportunities life presents to us. We may be amazed at what we're capable of. With our foundation of recovery, success, fulfillment, and satisfaction are within our reach at last. Just for today: Starting today, I'll do whatever I can to realize my dreams. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. We never know how high we are 'Til we are called to rise; And then, if we are true to plan, Our statures touch the skies. --Emily Dickinson We are all capable of far more than we think we are. It's in the tough times, however, that we discover the depths of our strength, and it's then that we know that some power has enabled us to do what we thought we could not. Whatever we call that power, it is there for us when we need it. To do what seems impossible, all we need to do is ask for the help we think we need. And we can look within, too, and summon our whole selves to the task at hand. With all that going for us, how can we fail? And when the tough work is over, we'll look back and know we've grown from the experience. And yes, our statures will have touched the skies. When I am faced with a tough task, how do I respond? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I believe our concept of romantic love is irrational, impossible to fulfill, and the cause of many broken homes. No human being can maintain that rarified atmosphere of "true love." --Rita Mae Brown What the popular media teach us about marriage and love is poor preparation for the real thing. When we enter a relationship we may be filled with a feeling of magic and excitement of new love. But that is not a good basis for a lifelong commitment. Love at first sight is no reason for marriage. Many of us, upon meeting difficulties in our relationships, said to ourselves, "Maybe it wasn't true love after all, because now I don't feel in love with my mate anymore." Honesty and learning how to resolve difficulties provide a solid foundation for durable love. Some relationships do not survive the honesty of recovery. Sometimes the development of honest love only begins with recovery. The love that endures, the love of real intimacy, comes when we know the real person. Loyalty to our loved ones may deepen as we deal more and more with reality. As I grow in this program, married or single, I become more able to have an enduring love. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Many of us achieve only the semblance of communication with others; what we say is often not contingent on what the other has just said, and neither of us is aware that we are not communicating. --Desy Safn-Gerard When we don't listen fully to each other, when we don't revere the Spirit within others that's trying to talk to us, we destroy the connection that wants to be made between our Spirits. Our inner selves have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all. Our ego selves often keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives. How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person. How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue--our own ongoing continual assessment of another's personhood at the very time our higher power is trying to reach us through them. There really are no wasted words. Messages are everywhere. We can learn to listen. I will hear just what I need to hear today. I will open myself fully to the words. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Panic Few situations - no matter how greatly they appear to demand it - can be bettered by us going berserk. --Codependent No More Don't panic! If a swimmer was crossing a great lake, then suddenly focused too heavily on the distance remaining, he might start to flounder and go under--not because he couldn't swim, but because he became overwhelmed by panic. Panic, not the task, is the enemy. Many of us have moments when we feel crowded and overwhelmed. We have times when we feel like we cannot possibly accomplish all that needs to be done. We may be facing a task at work, an improvement in ourselves, or change in our family life. For a moment, it is helpful to look forward and envision the project. It is normal, when we look ahead at what need to be done, to have moments of panic. Feel the fear, then let it go. Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task. If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours. We do not have to do everything today, or at once. Focus on today. Focus on the belief that all is well. All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today. We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow. Panic will stop this process. Trust and guided action will further it. Breathe deeply. Get peaceful. Trust. Act as guided, today. We can get back on track by treading water until we regain our composure. Once we feel peaceful, we can begin swimming again, with confidence. Keep the focus simple, on one stroke, one movement at a time. If we can make one movement, we have progressed. If we get tired, we can float - but only if we are relaxed. Before we know it, we shall reach the shore. Today, I will believe that all is well. I am being led, but I shall only be led one day at a time. I will focus my energy on living this day to the best of my ability. If panic arises, I will stop all activity and deal with panic as a separate issue. I am discovering who I am with joy today! --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Believe in Life, Not Loss Believing in life means we can trust– trust in the nature and rhythm of life with all its constant change. We believe in transformation, change, and purpose. Believing in life means we’re not in bondage to the past. No matter what we’ve done, what decisions we’ve made, we set ourselves free to trust ourselves now. We trust what we feel, we trust what we know, we trust what we think we need to do next. Belieivng in life means we trust that the lessons we’re learning are real. They’re valuable and Divinely ordained– even when learning a lesson means feeling pain. Believing in loss means we focus on the grief, on the pain, on the tragedy, on the inescapable reality of certain events. Belieivng in loss means we get fixated on what was taken from us, what we did wrong. We judge ourselves and our lives harshly. Believing in loss often means we stay stuck. We’re afraid to let go of a person, place, or thing that’s no longer right for us because we’re afraid to lose anything more. Do you believe in loss? Or do you believe in life? Believing in life means it’s okay to let go. We can trust where we’ve been. We trust where we’re going. And we’re right where we need to be now. Believe in life. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Manifest your life Today, try this activity. Go down to the local harware store and buy a patio stone. Get one of the nice flat round ones, one that will fit into your briefcase or backpack. Take that patio stone home and look at it. Then take out a marker and start to think about one of your goals that you wrote on the list at the start of the year. Think about all that is keeping you from reaching that goal– all your fears, excuses, and prerequisites. Each time you think of a reason why you are not walking down that path, write it on the stone in marker. Keep writing until you can’t think of another reason. Then carry the stone with you. You did write down a fear of looking ridiculous, didn’t you? Carry the stone to dinner– hold it on your lap while you eat. Hold it while you watch TV, while you go to the bathroom, in the shower, and even to bed this evening. Tomorrow, spend the day with your stone. Let it be a reminder of both your dream and your fear. Feel how rough, heavy, cumbersome it is. Makes it kind of difficult to get anything done, doesn’t it? Now, at the end of the day, sit down again with your stone. Look at all of your excuses written there. Make a conscious decision to let them go. Put down the stone– put it right next to the front door. Feel how much lighter your step is, how much easier it is to do things. Now, as you leave for your day each morning, look at the stone sitting there on the step– heavy, rough, cumbersome– and leave it there. Let life and the elements wear your fears away. You have dreams, hopes, ambitions. All of your fears and excuses are stones, which fill your hands and weigh you down. Leave them behind. Start to manifest your dreams in your life. God, help me let go of everything that is blocking me from fully and joyfully living my life today. ************************************************** Generosity of Spirit Being Happy for Others We all want to be the kind of people who are happy for others when they experience success or a cause for celebration in their lives, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes powerful, dark feelings come up at times when decorum dictates that we should be feeling the opposite. Instead of reaching out and celebrating for our loved one, we may feel the rising up of our own pain. This pain may arise because we feel jealous of our friend for having something we don’t have. It may arise because our friend’s success will lead to us losing them in some way. And it may arise for reasons we don’t yet understand. The important thing is not to brush it under the rug, but to take it seriously and look at it; suppressing it will only make it worse. At the same time, we need to be sure to find a way to congratulate our friends and celebrate their successes as if they were our own. The struggle with being happy for others presents itself early in life. If a child wants a toy and another child has it, the child will try to get it or will break down in tears. Those primal feelings are still present in most of us, and we have to acknowledge them when they arise. At the same time, it is when we care enough for someone to let go of what we want for ourselves that we grow as people. It can be a difficult dance to find ourselves suspended between wanting the toy and throwing a party for our friend who got the toy. Yet, it is in throwing the party that we share in the joy—and, to some extent, the toy—rather than cutting ourselves out of it. Extending ourselves to celebrate the happiness of others requires a generosity of spirit that we sometimes find only in the process of doing it. So when your best friend moves to Spain with the person you had a crush on, tend to your broken heart but throw them a going away party too. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Some of us, new in The Program, couldn’t resist telling anyone who would listen just how “terrible” we were. Just as we often exaggerated our mdest accomplishments by pride, so we exaggerated our defects through guilt. Facing about and “confessing all,” we somehow considered the widespread exposure of our sins to be true humility, considering it a great spiritual asset. Only as we grew in The Program did we realize that our theatrics and storytelling were merely forms of exhibitionism. And with that realization came the beginning of a certain amount of humility. Am I starting to become aware that I’m not so important after all? Today I Pray May I learn that there is a chasm of difference between real humility and the dramatic self-put-down. May I be confronted if I unconsciously demand center-stage to out-do and “out-drunk” others with my “adventrue” stories. May I be cautious that the accounts of my addictive misdeeds do not take on the epic grandeur of heroic exploits. Today I Will Remember I will not star in my own drunkologue (or junkologue). ************************************************** One More Day No man is an island, entire of itself. John Donne It’s sometimes easy to develop a sense of aloneness. During our emotional an physical lows, we might sadly or bitterly isolate from other people because we feel so different from them. Our lives seem so much more complicated than theirs. Usually, though, we do not choose to be completely independent of others. As we go through the motions of our day, our lives are touched by many people. They are part of the normal rhythm and flow of our experience. And we are part of theirs. In hundreds of ways, we all support and nurture each other. We share their joys and pains because we care, because we’re human. When I am in need, caring people surround me. I will make sure that I am available for others when they need me too. ************************************ Food For Thought Greedy Thinking, Greedy Eating Contentment comes from being satisfied with what we have. Since "bread" is a symbol for material things, it is easy to use food as a substitute for the money and possessions we may avidly desire. Overeating can be a form of compensation for the enticing worldly wealth, which seems so attractive, yet is out of our grasp. When we desire abstinence more than we desire material things, we are able to maintain it. When we allow material cares and concerns to obscure our spiritual goals, then our abstinence is in danger! Each of us is confronted with the choice of striving to satisfy physical cravings or working toward spiritual ideals. We cannot serve two masters. We may have thought that we could get rid of our greed for food and continue to indulge our greed for other material things. Our Higher Power does not work that way. He demands nothing less than complete allegiance. May I serve You without reservations. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PROMISES "Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." Oscar Wilde Before program, I would dwell in my mistakes. Experience, feh! I was all about self-abuse and feeling rotten about mistakes. My mistakes would certainly lead to overeating, since there was no other option in my mind. Even with years of therapy – with the same therapist – I still used eating as a soothing tool for those times when the mistake was enough to send me into a tailspin. Time and time again people would tell me I was too hard on myself, or that I should just relax and smile. Another mistake for me to internalize -- I couldn't even make a mistake right. I wonder now if I sometimes looked for things to call mistakes so I’d have a reason to feel as rotten as I did most of the time. Having been abused as a child wasn't enough, blaming other people for my pain never satiated me. In my first OA meeting, I heard the promises and I started to feel something melt away. Some of the shame and self-pity evaporated into the room of men and women who also felt this lack of satisfaction. A room of men and women loved me because I struggled with the same addictive behaviors. I don't think I'd ever been loved for my weakness, and there is something powerful in that. When I make a mistake, I can think about my friends in OA who tell me that there is no wrong way, just another way. One day at a time... I can know that there are people who love me because I share in their weakness, and I can read the promises to realize that recovery is possible. ~ AJ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Perhaps you have a husband who is at large, but who should be committed. Some men cannot or will not get over alcoholism. When they become too dangerous, we think the kind thing is to lock them up, but of course a good doctor should always be consulted. The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves. But sometimes you must start life anew. We know women who have done it. If such women adopt a spiritual way of life their road will be smoother. - Pg. 114 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. We are not suggesting we are stupid, but our disease is. It will do anything it can to keep us using even though it ultimately means death of itself along with the body. But through following a few SIMPLE suggestions we can release ourselves from the stupidity. May I understand that my stupid disease will argue and complicate simple procedures so it can gain a foothold in the confusion it creates. KISS off addiction. Freeing Me Today, I understand that in forgiving someone else I free myself. I held back on forgiveness because it seemed too kind an act for those who had hurt me. Why should I make them feel good? Why should I let them off the hook? I understand now that forgiving someone else and letting go - when I am truly ready - dissolves the resentment that is stored within me. I will not jump to forgiveness too quickly, forcing myself to do what I am not sincerely able to do. I will not forgive because it is the right thing to do. I will fully feel and acknowledge all that blocks me, and I will give myself the time I need to do this. When I do forgive, it will be to set myself free, to let go of the past and move on. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote People in our fellowships who think they are too big to do little things are perhaps too little to be asked to do big things. I remember where I came from. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You can't be fired for on-the-job sobriety. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am discovering who I am with joy today! Alkiespeak - Book - Quote When I was new, I was sure that what was wrong with me was that I was not loved enough. A lot of people tried but what I didn't know about me, is that there isn't enough. I'm the Black Hole of Lovedom. My little sponsor knew that my problem was I never loved enough. And he knew that I didn't know how to start to love. So he made me do loving things; go pick up members, stand at the door and greet everybody: 'Hi there, I'm Cliff. What's your name - (under breath) like I really give a ...' And somewhere along the way I learned to love newcomers. - Cliff R. |
June 10
Daily Reflections IMPATIENT? TRY LEVITATING We reacted more strongly to frustrations than normal people. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 111 Impatience with other people is one of my principal failings. Following a slow car in a no-passing lane, or waiting in a restaurant for the check, drives me to distraction. Before I give God a chance to slow me down, I explode, and that's what I call being quicker than God. That repeated experience gave me an idea. I thought if I could look down on these events from God's point of view, I might better control my feelings and behavior. I tried it and when I encountered the next slow driver, I levitated and looked down on the other car and upon myself. I saw an elderly couple driving along, happily chatting about their grandchildren. They were followed by me--bug eyed and red of face--who had no time schedule to meet anyway. I looked so silly that I dropped back into reality and slowed down. Seeing things from God's angle of vision can be very relaxing. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day If we have had some moral, religious, or spiritual training, we're better prospects for A.A. When we reach the bottom, at this crucial moment when we're thoroughly licked, we turn instinctively to whatever decency is left in us. We call upon whatever reserves of morality and faith are left down deep in our heart. Have I had this spiritual experience? Meditation For The Day The world wonders when it sees a person who can unexpectedly draw large and unsuspected sums from the bank for some emergency. But what the world has not seen are the countless small sums paid into that bank, earned by faithful work over a long time. And so is the bank of the spirit. The world sees the person of faith make a demand on God's stores of power and the demand is met. The world does not see what that person has been putting in, in thanks and praise, in prayer and communion, in small good deeds done faithfully, steadily over the years. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may keep making deposits in God's bank. I pray that in my hour of need, I may call upon these. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Whose Inventory?, p. 161 We do not relate intimate experiences of another member unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule aimed at someone else often produces the contrary effect. << << << >> >> >> A continuous look at our assets and liabilities, and a real desire to learn and grow by this means are necessities for us. We alcoholics have learned this the hard way. More experienced people, of course, in all times and places have practiced unsparing self-survey and criticism. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 125 2. 12 & 12, p. 88 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Expecting quick results Acceptance Most human progress comes slowly, though we see exciting breakthroughs at various times. The same is true in the lives of individuals. Though a few people do make exciting leaps forward, most of us must be content with gradual, steady improvements. Our problem as compulsive people is in wanting quick results all the time. In fact, one of the things that reinforced our addition was the continuous need for a quick fix. We saw life as something that should be taken in frantic gulps. When a sudden break or advantage appeared, it never really satisfied us. There was always the hunger for more. We can find real satisfaction, however, in accepting progress in small stages. If we are having small gains here and there, we are on the road to improvement. A surprising amount can be accomplished when we are moving continuously ahead, one small step at a time. The old fable of the tortoise and the hare still applies in human affairs. If we continue to move ahead, even at a slow speed, we will reach our goals. I'll be content today with whatever progress I can make. If I'm expecting too many quick results, I might be setting myself up for disappointment. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.---Clementine Pappleford At meetings, we meet people who have what we want. Our old way is to think these people are better or luckier than us. Our old way is to wish we were like them. But our program tells us how to work to change, not just wish for it. There is a big difference! There are many ways to work for recovery. We practice the Steps. We attend meetings, and we help out at meetings. We welcome new members. We call our sponsor often. And we sponsor others when we're ready. It takes more than a wishbone. It takes courage and hard work, with the help of our Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know that wishing is lost energy. I must work at recovery. As I do today's work, guide me. Action for the Day: Today, I'll do an extra bit of work on my recovery. I'll call a group member. I'll read. I'll spend extra time in prayer and meditation. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning When we start at the center of ourselves, we discover something worthwhile extending toward the periphery of the circle. We find again some of the joy in the now, some of the peace in the here, some of the love in me and thee which go to make up the kingdom of heaven on earth. --G. F. Sear Perhaps we have feared discovering our center; perhaps we have feared finding nothing there. The struggle to believe in ourselves, to know we have an important part to play in the circle of life, the circle encompassing all life, is a hard-fought struggle for many of us. But we are learning. We are finding treasures within ourselves. Others are helping us to find those treasures. Sharing special moments in time with loved ones and ones we are learning to love reveals many treasures. All we have is here--now--us. We are all we ever need to be--here and now. We are, at every moment, what we need to be if only we'd trust revealing our true selves, our centers, to one another. Our centers each need that of another. This program needs each of us for what we add to it. The worthiness of the program, of the whole circle, is enhanced by the inclusion of our centers. I will share my center today with you. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. we asked His protection and care with complete abandon. Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than our-selves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. pp. 59-60 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. The meeting went okay. We talked about somebody's problem with an anonymity break at his doctor's office. The people at the meeting were telling him stuff that made no sense to me, like "Live and Let Live," "Easy Does It," "One Day at a Time," "use the Serenity Prayer," "talk to your sponsor," and as we went around the table it came my turn. Since they were all saying they were alcoholics, it wasn't too hard for me to say my name and, "Hi, I'm an alcoholic," and suggest that the man should go to another doctor. He thanked me very much, and after the meeting he said to be sure and come back next week. p. 401 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." Alcoholics Anonymous can be likened to a group of physicians who might find a cure for cancer, and upon whose concerted work would depend the answer for sufferers of this disease. True, each physician in such a group might have his own specialty. Every doctor concerned would at times wish he could devote himself to his chosen field rather than work only with the group. But once these men had hit upon c cure, once it became apparent that only by their united effort could this be accomplished, then all of them would feel bound to devote themselves solely to the relief of cancer. In the radiance of such a miraculous discovery, any doctor would set his other ambitions aside, at whatever personal cost. p. 150 ************************************************** ********* The quieter we become, the more we hear. --unknown There are glimpses of heaven in every act, or thought, or word that raises us above ourselves. --Arthur Stanley When everything seems to go wrong, just P.U.S.H.! When the job gets you down, just P.U.S.H.! When people don't react the way you think they should, just P.U.S.H.! When your money looks funny and the bills are due, just P.U.S.H.! When you want to give up because it looks hopeless, just P.U.S.H.! P.U.S.H - Pray Until Something Happens!!!!! --Randy Walker "Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are." --Marianne Williamson "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in Gods hands, that I still possess." --Martin Luther ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation LAUGHTER "God cannot be solemn, or he would not have blessed man with the incalculable gift of laughter." --Sydney Harris I think the way to understand God is to begin to understand man! Sometimes we forget that we bear the "image" of God - and this is not so much physical as emotional, our inner selves, the soul. So much of what I feel, what hurts me, what causes me distress and pain I believe also affects God. Also the gifts, the creative intelligence and spiritual sacrifice that has characterized so many people in history reflects something of God. Involved in this is "laughter". I believe that laughter is derived from God and is part of the spiritual gift He has bequeathed to every one of us: we need only discover it. "Let go - and let God." Sometimes we need to get out of our own way so that we can begin to laugh. You gave the gift of laughter to be used. May it be used in the precious art of healing. ************************************************** ********* "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1 The joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is not as significant to have a good life, but rather to do good things with your life. Lord, I am grateful for the talents with which You have blessed me and I pray that they will not go unused. Gossip betrays trust. The harm done is often irreparable. Lord, may I never be responsible for hurting anyone through my conversations. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Changing Motives "When we finally get our own selfish motives out of the way, we begin to find a peace that we never imagined possible." Basic Text, p. 44 As we examine our beliefs, our actions, and our motives in recovery, we'll find that sometimes we do things for the wrong reasons. In our early recovery, we may have spent a great deal of money and time on people, wanting only for them to like us. Later on, we may find that we still spend money on people, but our motives have changed. We do it because we like them. Or perhaps we used to get romantically involved because we felt hollow inside and were seeking fulfillment through another person. Now our reasons for romantic involvement are based in a desire to share our already rewarding lives with an equal partner. Maybe we used to work the steps because we were afraid we'd relapse if we didn't. Today we work the steps because we want to grow spiritually. We have a new purpose in life today, and our changing motives reflect that. We have so much more to offer than our neediness and insecurities. We have developed a wholesomeness of spirit and a peace of mind that moves our recovery into a new realm. We extend our love and share our recovery with complete generosity, and the difference we make is the legacy we leave to those who have yet to join us. Just for today: In recovery, my motives have changed. I want to do things for the right reason, not just for my personal benefit. Today, I will examine my motives. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Whoever I am or whatever I am doing, some kind of excellence is within my reach. --John W.Gardner It's easy to forget how important we each are -- to our parents, to other family members, to our friends. We are in this world, even in our particular family, because we are important and necessary in the lives of others. It's easy to feel not so important though, especially when we think we're not good enough at anything we try. School or work comes easy for some. Maybe not us. Athletics come easy to others. May it's helping around the house that's easiest. Each of us is very good at some things. And it's okay to not be good at everything. How can I show my talent today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We learn more by seeing someone play good tennis than by reading a book about how to play good tennis. --W. Timothy Gallwey In our program we learn from each other. Most of us would rather have thought our problems through on our own or read about them without having to ask for help. Recovery requires us to break this old habit. We can no longer say at a meeting, "I had some problems this week, but I've worked them out now" or "I know what I have to do." The change for us is to ask for help from other men in this program. We need to say, "What do you think about my problem?" or "Would you be willing to talk to me for a while?" Having a sponsor is an important way of getting to know how another man applies his program to his life. We need to select a sponsor we admire, who has learned the Steps well and who truly lives them. Then we need to spend time with our sponsor outside of meetings, perhaps while drinking a cup of coffee or going for a walk. By associating with others who are diligent about recovery, we will learn more than we could any other way. Today, I will make personal contact with others in this program. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. When we start at the center of ourselves, we discover something worthwhile extending toward the periphery of the circle. We find again some of the joy in the now, some of the peace in the here, some of the love in me and thee which go to make up the kingdom of heaven on earth. --G. F. Sear Perhaps we have feared discovering our center; perhaps we have feared finding nothing there. The struggle to believe in ourselves, to know we have an important part to play in the circle of life, the circle encompassing all life, is a hard-fought struggle for many of us. But we are learning. We are finding treasures within ourselves. Others are helping us to find those treasures. Sharing special moments in time with loved ones and ones we are learning to love reveals many treasures. All we have is here--now--us. We are all we ever need to be--here and now. We are, at every moment, what we need to be if only we'd trust revealing our true selves, our centers, to one another. Our centers each need that of another. This program needs each of us for what we add to it. The worthiness of the program, of the whole circle, is enhanced by the inclusion of our centers. I will share my center today with you. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Responsibility Self care means taking responsibility for ourselves. Taking responsibility for ourselves includes assuming our true responsibilities to others. Sometimes, when we begin recovery, we're worn down from feeling responsible for so many other people. Learning that we need only take responsibility for ourselves may be such a great relief that, for a time, we disown our responsibilities to others. The goal in recovery is to find the balance: we take responsibility for ourselves, and we identify our true responsibilities to others. This may take some sorting through, especially if we have functioned for years on distorted notions about our responsibilities to others. We may be responsible to one person as a friend or as an employee; to another person, we're responsible as an employer or as a spouse. With each person, we have certain responsibilities. When we tend to those true responsibilities, we'll find balance in our life. We are also learning that while others aren't responsible for us, they are accountable to us in certain ways. We can learn to discern our true responsibilities for ourselves, and to others. We can allow others to be responsible for themselves and expect them to be appropriately responsible to us. We'll need to be gentle with ourselves while we learn. Today, I will strive for clear thinking about my actual responsibilities to others. I will assume these responsibilities as part of taking care of myself. Today my heart brings me to new places of giving and sharing that I have not yet experienced. I am a friend today and get great satisfaction when I put the needs of others first because I want to, not because I think I have to do so. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Enjoy Summer Learn to enjoy summer, that wonderful warm time when everything is in full bloom. Summer isn’t forever, but don’t ruin it by fussing. Forget about the winter just past, the autumn that lies ahead. Immerse yourself in the good times, the fullness of summertime. We may have gotten so used to the other times, the colder times, that we’ve forgotten how to enjoy the sun, the warmth, the play times. The good times. Each moment of our lives is important. Each moment of our lives is a spiritual experience. To live fully in joy, we need to learn to enjoy the good times as well as weather the storms. Most of us are proficient at hunkering down and getting through the winters of our lives. Now it’s time to learn something different. Take off your heavy wrap. Grab your straw hat and go bask in the sun. Tomorrow’s lessons will take care of themselves. Today the lesson is learning to enjoy summer. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of guilt Guilt is a rock. It lies in the pit of our stomachs and keeps us awake at night. All of our muscles work overtime just to carry it around, and yet we still hold on to it. Yesterday, you stumbled. That was yesterday. But you also righted your wrong and vowed to do better today. So why are you still carrying that guilt around with you? If you’re in recovery, you probably did some terrible things before you got sober. How can you ever move on? But you got sober. You made amends. What happened yesterday belongs to yesterday. Today, you can let go of your guilt and relax in the peace that comes from walking a path with heart. Have you made a list of people you have harmed and made amends to them, as suggested in the Eighth and Ninth Steps of the Twelve Step programs? That’s an excellent way to begin clearing and releasing guilt. If you’re not in a Twelve Step program, there are other options. Most religions offer rituals to clear guilt. Sometimes, we’ve taken all these steps and we still feel guilty. What’s wrong? We’re hanging on to our guilt, and we’re being hard on ourselves. You will find it easier to relax and flow through the experiences of your life if you let go of the weight of yesterday’s guilt. God, today I give you all of the guilt from my past. Take it from me, and allow me to begin fresh right now. Help me make the amends I need to make, then let my guilt go. Activity: If you’ve taken steps to make amends and clear away your legitimate guilt, and your guilt is still haunting your every move, try this: First thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, look in your mirror. Look yourself in the eye. Then say out loud seven times, “I now release all my guilt, earned and unearned.” Try this for a week. See if your guilt doesn’t disappear. ************************************************** Meeting of the Minds Fragments of the Self by Madisyn Taylor We all have many fragments of self which need attention to help make our whole selves better. Sometimes it feels as if we have many different people living inside of us, expressing themselves in voices that seem distinct from one another. There is the inner child with its wants and needs, the angry voice that expresses its opinion and probably several more as well. With all these different parts of ourselves express differing desires and needs and opinions, we may begin to feel as if we have no clarity. It is difficult to know which voices to pay attention to and which ones to ignore or dismiss. Even if we manage to move forward amidst the confusion, doubts and concerns may linger in our psyches simply because they have not been fully expressed and examined. As a result, we may have trouble being at peace with the decisions we do make. One way to handle this dilemma is to consciously make time for a meeting of the minds within our psyche. This can be done as a guided meditation or as a journaling exercise. In both we can summon the many fragments that make up the whole of who we are and give them each a chance to speak. This can be a helpful tool in the face of a decision we need to make, and it can also be a fruitful path to take in the interest of self-exploration and self-care. When we gather the many fragments of our psyche together, the health and power of the whole is greatly increased. We can imagine a roundtable in which we gather all the various representatives of our being, allowing them to name themselves and giving them a chance to speak. We allow each one to weigh in, fully expressing the perspective they represent, and we listen without comment. As we listen, we may be amazed at the wisdom and energy stored in these fragments of our self. This gathering brings the fragmented pieces of our psyche into a closer relationship, enabling us to move forward as a unified whole. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I least expect it, my keen addictive mind will try to divert me back toward my old ideas and old ways. My mind is expert, in fact, at planting and nourishing negative feelings within me — feeling such as envy, fear, anxiety, or guilt. The minute I spot any of these poisonous feelings rising up, I have to deal with them. If not, the more I think about them, the stronger they’ll get; the stronger they get, the more I’ll think about them — to the point of obsession. When negative feelings arise, do I “name the, claim them, an dump them…”? Today I Pray I should know — and may I please never forget — that a sure way to let my feelings get the best of me is to pretend they aren’t there. Like spoiled offspring, they act up when they are ignored. But also like when they are ignored. But also like offspring’s, they are here, they are mine and I am responsible for them. May I learn to pay attention to my feelings, even if sometimes I would rather make-believe they didn’t belong to me. Today I Will Remember Name them, claim them, dump them. ************************************************** One More Day Pain is hard to bear…. But with patience, day by day, Even this shall pass away. – Theodore Tilton When emotional or physical pain becomes unbearable, the duration of each day seems longer than twenty-four hours. Any movement is intolerable; any attempt to begin the day is met with the shrilling objections of the voice of pain. It is at this exact moment, each time it occurs, that we are tempted to give up the fight and become invalids. Then something prods us to try just one more time — just one more day. And so we struggle, and we are amazed to discover that we have successfully met and conquered another sunrise and another sunset. The strength to go on was there all the time, deep within us. When my pain becomes greater than i can ever remember, I must draw on my inner resources to keep going. ************************************ Food For Thought Procrastination This is a particularly dangerous habit for compulsive overeaters, since when we put off unpleasant or difficult tasks, we may revert back to our old escape route - eating. The result is that the unpleasant situation is still with us, and we are less able to deal with it. The longer we procrastinate, the larger the difficulty looms. Even small responsibilities left undone weaken our self-respect. Often we procrastinate because of fear that we are inadequate for the job to be done. Sometimes we are simply rebelling against doing something we do not want to do. If we are taking a daily inventory, we will examine our motives and use the subsequent self-knowledge for constructive action. Whatever it is that we are putting off, it will rarely become easier to do later. This is especially true if we are procrastinating about our abstinence! The time is now. Since today is all I have, may I use it wisely. ***************************************** One Day At A Time GROWTH "You will either step forward into growth, or you will step back into safety." Abraham Maslow In my early years in program, one of my sponsors told me, "You're in a very well-decorated rut. You even have wall-to-wall carpeting and curtains in it." As I continued trudging my road to happy destiny, her words would crop up in my head any time I got "stuck." I could see how far I had come each time, so I persevered and kept turning my fear into faith. As I continued to work the steps, I was led to new levels of recovery. One day at a time... I put one foot in front of the other, keep taking the next right action and continue working the steps. I live the promises of the program. Safety or growth? My choice is clear. ~ Rory ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray. William D. Silkworth, M.D. - Pg. xxxii - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Many times we thought we used chemicals because we were unhappy, but coming to this program, we discovered that using too many chemicals is what made us unhappy. Now is the time to break the old unhappy pattern. This hour, I am beginning the new clean and sober pattern of my life. Suffering Today, I will not hide my pain and suffering from myself or from my Higher Power. When I bring my most honest and pure self to the fore and understand my essential powerlessness over situations, when I am truly willing to turn over this angst to a power greater than myself, something changes. I let go and create space for a shift in perception. I experience a quiet awakening in my life, and forces that did not have room to enter are coming in to heal me. It is in letting go that I have a chance of achieving what I desire in my life. Holding on pushes away what I want, while releasing lets it all have enough breathing room so it can stay alive. I open my heart to my Higher Power. - Tian Dayton PhD ' Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody... I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.... We must find each other. ' - Mother Teresa Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Many problems will be averted with a very simple code for behavior. This is called 'kindness.' Kindness is more then politeness; it means a warm concern for the other person's feelings. I let my kindness be a gift to another and the tag reads, 'Please handle with tender loving care.' "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Live today as you want to remember your life. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today my heart brings me to new places of giving and sharing that I have not yet experienced. I am a friend today and get great satisfaction when I put the needs of others first because I want to, not because I think I have to do so. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote We have fought this fight as long, and as well as we know how. We have been defeated There is but one course to pursue; We must accept the situation. - Robert E Lee. |
June 11
Daily Reflections FAMILY OBLIGATIONS . . . a spiritual life which does not include . . . family obligations may not be so perfect after all. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 129 I can be doing great in the program--applying it at meetings, at work, and in service activities--and find that things have gone to pieces at home. I expect my loved ones to understand, but they cannot. I expect them to see and value my progress, but they don't--unless I show them. Do I neglect their needs and desire for my attention and concern? When I'm around them, am I irritable or boring? Are my "amends" a mumbled "Sorry," or do they take the form of patience and tolerance? Do I preach to them, trying to reform or "fix" them? Have I ever really cleaned house with them? "The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it." (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 83). ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We alcoholics have to believe in some Power greater than ourselves. Yes, we have to believe in God. Not to believe in a Higher Power drives us to atheism. Atheism, it has been said before, is blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. That's practically impossible to believe. So we turn to that Divine Principle in the universe that we call God. Have I stopped trying to run my own life? Meditation For The Day "Lord, we thank Thee for the great gift of peace, that peace which passeth all understanding, that peace which the world can neither give nor take away." That is the peace that only God can give in the midst of a restless world and surrounded by trouble and difficulty. To know that peace is to have received the stamp of the kingdom of God. When you have earned that peace, you are fit to judge between true and false values, between the values of the kingdom of God and the values of all that the world has to offer. Prayer For The Day I pray that today I may have inner peace. I pray that today I may be at peace with myself. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "Let's Keep It Simple", p. 162 "We need to distinguish sharply between spiritual simplicity and functional simplicity." "When we say that A.A. advocates no theological proposition except God as we understand Him, we greatly simplify A.A. life by avoiding conflict and exclusiveness. "But when we get into questions of action by groups, by areas, and by A.A. as a whole, we find that we must to some extent organize to carry the message--or else face chaos. And chaos is not simplicity." << << << >> >> >> I learned that the temporary or seeming good can often be the deadly enemy of the permanent best. When it comes to survival for A.A., nothing short of our best will be good enough. 1. Letter, 1966 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 294 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places What can we change ? Handling limitations. There's always danger that resignation will masquerade as acceptance. In 12 Step programs, we must learn the difference between the two. Resignation refers to putting up with conditions that we should actually change; it regards self-imposed limitation. Acceptance meansx recognizing reality and becoming comfortable with it. We might resign ourselves to bad treatment that is unacceptable, or we might put up with personal shortcomings that we could change. When someone points this out, we defend ourselves by asserting points this out., we defend ourselves by asserting that we're practicing acceptance. As human beings and children of God, we are entitled to live with dignity and to receive fair treatment. We should never resign ourselves to anything that robs us of this basic humanity. Our Higher Power will show us how to eliminate resignation if we have been practicing it. The message of the program is that we never have to accept the things we can and should change. Today if I am uncomfortable with something, I'll ask myself if I've been practicing resignation instead of acceptance. There may be many things in my life that can and should be changed. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Who is the bravest hero? He who turns his enemy into a friend. --- Hebrew Proverb In recovery we take our worst enemy, addiction, and turn it around. We were ashamed of our addiction. Over time we become proud of our recovery. We were our own worst enemy. Now we're our own best friend. We are brave people. Being brave is about facing our fears. Often we think brave people don't get afraid, but this isn't true. Brave people learn to stay put, even when their knees are shaking. Many times in recovery, we will want to run when we should stay put. We may even think about using chemicals again. We need to remember our bravery and how we turned our worst enemy into a friend. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me when to run and when to stay put. Help me be brave. Action for the Day: I will claim bravery today. I'll hold my head up high and be proud of how far I've come. I now have nothing to be ashamed of. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning My lifetime listens to yours. --Muriel Rukeyser Our experiences educate us to help show each other the way. Others' experiences, likewise, will help still others. We need to share our histories. And the program offers us the way. There is no greater honor we can give one another than rapt attention. We each want to be heard, to be special, to be acknowledged. And recognition may will be the balm that will heal someone's hurt today. A new day faces us, a day filled with opportunities to really listen to someone who needs to be heard. And the surprise is that we will hear a message just right for us, where we are now. A message that may well point us in a new, better direction. Guidance is always at hand, if only we listen for it. But when we are trapped in our own narrow world of problems and confusion, we scramble whatever messages are trying to reach us. And we miss the many opportunities to make another person feel special and necessary to our lives. My growth is enhanced every time I give my attention fully to another person. And this process is multiplied over and over and over. I will be there for someone today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: (a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism. (c) That God could and would if He were sought. p. 60 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. During the meeting, somebody mentioned spending too much time at discussion tables when we should have been spending more time at First Step tables for newcomers. So I went to the First Step table the following week. The discussion was very interesting. I didn't think I was "powerless over alcohol," but I knew "my life was unmanageable." p. 401 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." Just as firmly bound by obligation are the members of Alcoholics Anonymous, who have demonstrated that they can help problem drinkers as others seldom can. The unique ability of each A.A. to identify himself with, and bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon his learning, eloquence, or on any special individual skills. the only thing that matters is that he is an alcoholic who has found a key to sobriety. These legacies of suffering and of recovery are easily passed among alcoholics, one to the other. This is our gift from god, and its bestowal upon others like us is the one aim that today animates A.A.'s all around the globe. pp. 150-151 ************************************************** ********* "No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." --Abraham Lincoln "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." --Ralph Waldo Emerson The right time for the journey is when you begin it. Why not today? God, motivate me to live a fuller, richer life. --An excerpt from Melody Beattie - (More Language of Letting Go) "There is a very little difference between people; it is called attitude; and it makes a really big difference. The big difference is whether it's positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone "Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind." --Eric Hoffer Look past the body, past the personality, past the behavior, into the window of one another's souls. There we make a connection. The God in me recognizes and honors the God in you. --Mary Manin Morrissey God, grant me the serenity to not try to force outcomes and solutions too soon. --Melody Beattie Wish not so much to live long, as to live well. -- Benjamin Franklin It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. --Epictetus *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation SOLITUDE "Everyone should try to find a spot to be alone." --Queen Juliana (Netherlands) Greta Garbo was reported to have said, "I want to be alone." Life brings its pressures, but we all need to find a place where we can be "alone". Alone - not to "think" or "do" - simply to be. We need time to simply rest in our lives. A time in the day which we can call our own, to have a visit with the most important person we have got in our lives - ourselves. To rest in self is to experience "spiritual selfishness" - the joy of self-love. And how much we look forward to setting aside a time just for heart and mind to center on the pathway to listening to God. ************************************************** ********* And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man. Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice. Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes. He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor, his righteousness endures forever; his horn will be lifted high in honor. Psalm 112:4-9 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is laughter that helps us cope with the upsets and chaos of everyday living. Lord, lighten my spirit so that I will not take myself so seriously and be able to find more moments to laugh. Take care of yourself so that you may give care to others. Lord, may I never totally ignore myself and my feelings for the sake of others and fit in time daily to refresh my spirit. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Living Clean "As we recover; we gain a new outlook on being clean.... Life can become a new adventure for us." Basic Text, p. 88 The using life is not a clean one-no one knows this better than we do. Some of us lived in physical squalor, caring neither for our surroundings nor ourselves. Worse, though, than any external filth was the way most of us felt inside. The things we did to get our drugs, the way we treated other people, and the way we treated ourselves had us feeling dirty. Many of us recall waking too many mornings just wishing that, for once, we could feel clean about ourselves and our lives. Today, we have a chance to feel clean by living clean. For us addicts, living clean starts with not using - after all, that's our primary use for the word "clean" in Narcotics Anonymous. But as we stay "clean" and work the Twelve Steps, we discover another kind of clean. It's the clean that comes from admitting the truth about our addiction rather than hiding or denying our disease. It's the freshness that comes from owning up to our wrongs and making amends for them. It's the vitality that comes from the new set of values we develop as we seek a Higher Power's will for us. When we practice the principles of our program in all our affairs, we have no reason to feel dirty about our lives or our lifestyles - we're living clean, and grateful to be doing so at last. "Clean living" used to be just for the "squares." Today, living clean is the only way we'd have it. Just for today: I feel clean because I'm living clean - and that's the way I want to keep it. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength. --A. J. Cronin There is always something to worry about. What if it rains tomorrow on the family picnic? What if the baby gets sick and we can't go? What if we can't find a shady spot for our lunch table? Will the water be too cold for swimming? Will the boat motor conk out in the middle of the lake? What if we forget the charcoal? Or the lighter fluid? Today, while preparing the potato salad for tomorrow's picnic, all we need to know is whether the potatoes are cool enough to peel and slice. Our worries about tomorrow change nothing but ourselves, and they have nothing to do with what we are doing right now. Tomorrow will become today soon enough, and today is the day we have. Which of my worries belong only to tomorrow, and should be left alone until then? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We are each so much more than what some reduce to measuring. --Karen Kaiser Clark Our society places great emphasis on how well each person is doing. It makes us judgmental and competitive. As children we may have thought that our real value was measured by the grades we got in school or the scores of our baseball games. As grown men we continue measuring our worth by things like the size of our wages, the model of the car we drive, or even how many months or years we have in recovery. We can't stop the measuring, but we are in a program that helps us step outside this system. We seek to know and do the will of our Higher Power, which is beyond the limitations of such measurements. Submitting our own will to our Higher Power releases us from the competition and the judgments in these games of measurement. Our loyalties are to values like honesty, respect, peace, and wholeness. Today, I will remember that my value as a man isn't measured on a man-made scale. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. My lifetime listens to yours. --Muriel Rukeyser Our experiences educate us to help show each other the way. Others' experiences, likewise, will help still others. We need to share our histories. And the program offers us the way. There is no greater honor we can give one another than rapt attention. We each want to be heard, to be special, to be acknowledged. And recognition may will be the balm that will heal someone's hurt today. A new day faces us, a day filled with opportunities to really listen to someone who needs to be heard. And the surprise is that we will hear a message just right for us, where we are now. A message that may well point us in a new, better direction. Guidance is always at hand, if only we listen for it. But when we are trapped in our own narrow world of problems and confusion, we scramble whatever messages are trying to reach us. And we miss the many opportunities to make another person feel special and necessary to our lives. My growth is enhanced every time I give my attention fully to another person. And this process is multiplied over and over and over. I will be there for someone today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Moving Forward Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them. It doesn't help. It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us. Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow. Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me. Today I have the courage to look within without fear at what needs to be changed in my life. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Be Honest with Yourself What are you feeling deep down inside? Under the anger. Under the rage. Under the numb I don’t care, it doesn’t matter. Are you really feeling scared? Hurt? Abandoned? Go more deeply into yourself and your emotions than you have ever gone before. The way to joy, the way to the heart is tender, soft, gentle, and honest. The way to the heart is to be vulnerable. You don’t have to be so brave. You don’t have to be so strong. You don’t always have to walk away with your head held high saying, I can handle this. Ive been through worse before. Become angry if you must. Feel your rage if it’s there. Go numb once in a while, if you must. Then take a chance, and go a little deeper. Go way down deep inside. See what’s there. Take a look. Risk being vulnerable. Love yourself and all your emotions. Be as honest with yourself as you can be. Say how you really feel. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Stop defending yourself Do you walk around wearing a suit of armor? Often, if we were hurt as children or hurt frequently as adults, we put on a suit of emotional armor to protect us from being hurt more. We lower our visor to avoid seeing the pain and block out all hurtful sights. We pick up weapons, sharp words, manipulative behaviors, acting out– anything to help us defend ourselves against those who would hurt us again. We get used to being in battle and soon all of life is a struggle. Stop fighting. Yes, you have been hurt. Many of us have. But when you project the characteristics of one person onto everyone you know, you don’t allow their true selves to shine through. All you can see is the limited view from your visor. You are growing and gaining strength every day. You’re safe now. Why not put down the weapons for a little while, lift the visor on your suit of armor, and see the people around you for who they are– mostly kind, good-hearted ordinary people just like you. They have been hurt and healed, they have won and lost. They laugh and they cry. Open up to them, and allow the sharing to begin to heal you and your heart. God, help me to lower my defenses today, to be open to the good in the people around me and to the good that I have to offer them. ************************************************** In God’s Care “What do you think of God,” the teacher asked. After a pause, the young pupil replied, “He’s not a think, he’s a feel.” ~~Paul Frost If our approach to God rested on how much brain power we could summon, a lot of us would be in trouble. We can’t think our way to God. We have to feel our way there. We have to need God so much, love God so much (or love the idea of God so much) that we just find ourselves in communion with God. It’s our feelings that bring us there. Our reaching out to God usually comes as a last resort. It’s the result of finally realizing that everything else we’ve tried has failed to bring us peace of mind. It doesn’t say much for our good sense that we have a tendency to approach God only when we’re desperate, but then it isn’t intellectual power that brings us to our knees. Let’s face it, we need God, not in our head, but in our gut. I don’t have to use my intelligence to get to God. I only have to want God in my life ************************************************** Friends Gifts We Give Ourselves by Madisyn Taylor Friends give us the gift of helping us learn more about our selves while also being a mirror for the other. Good friends enrich our lives in so many ways. Through a magical combination of similarities and differences, friends offer us the opportunity to know ourselves as we are and help us grow into who we want to be. Our similarities attract us to each other, comforting us with familiarity when we see ourselves in them. When we are drawn to those we admire, the same recognition is at work, unconsciously acknowledging that these people possess qualities that we ourselves possess. By acting as mirrors, friends help us define who we are by reflecting our selves back to us. Friends also help us know ourselves through our differences. Differences allow us to see other options and make choices about who we want to be. Sometimes we are drawn to those who appear to be our opposites, and we learn to accept the parts of them we love and the parts of them that don’t resonate with us, thus allowing us a valuable learning experience. By expanding our understanding to include others’ experiences, friends help us accept others. By understanding when someone’s life differs from our own, we can learn about ourselves in contrast. There are times when we see in friends what we don’t like about ourselves. That mirror reflection may be hard to take, but a good friend helps us find ways we can change and supports us in that choice. Part of the joy of friendship is the feeling that we are accepted just the way we are, with no need to change. It is a gift they give us, and one we can give back every day. Ultimately, we choose friends because they make us feel good about ourselves and life. Through tears and difficulties, friends help us find the laughter. When we find those special people who offer us that perfect combination of comfort and stimulus to grow, we are very fortunate. Friends, those wonderful companions that walk with us through life, help us define and refine who we are and who we choose to be every day. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Guilt is a cunning weapon in the armory of the addictive person which continues to lurk patiently inside each of us. We can use the weapon against ourselves in many subtle ways; it can be deftly wielded, for example, in an attempt to convince us that The Program doesn’t really work. I have to protect myself constantly against guilt an d self-accusations concerning my past. If necessary, I must constantly “re-forgive” myself, accepting myself as a mixture of good as well as bad. Am I striving for spiritual progress? Or will I settle for working less than the human impossibility of spiritual perfection? Today I Pray May I look inside myself now and then for any slow-burning, leftover guilt which can, when I’m unwary, damage any purpose. may I stop kicking myself and pointing our my own imperfections — all those leaser qualities which detract from the ideal and “perfect” me. May I no longer try to be unreachable, inhumanly perfect, but just spiritually whole. Today I Will Remember I am human — part good, part no-so-good. ************************************************** One More Day What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. – George Eliot Sometimes a painful ending can be the beginning of a new way of life which is a happy reality. The end of grief brings us new acceptance and balance. The end of a bad relationship might be a welcome beginning. An ending? Or a beginning? Often the answer depends on how we choose to see it. Grown children leaving home can be a sad end, or it can be an exciting opportunity to begin living more for ourselves. A move can mean leaving old friends or meeting new ones. Almost every event in life — marriage, a new job, graduation, even a vacation — means an ending of some sort. As we face each ending, we can choose to see a new beginning. Today, I will remember that life is made of many new beginnings. ************************************ Food For Thought Our Security Blanket Turning to food when we are afraid is a tendency shared by many of us. Since being fed reassured us as infants and children, we compulsive overeaters reach for something to eat when we are anxious or apprehensive. When the anxiety does not disappear, we eat more. The desire for security is basic to all of us. Unfortunately, we often look for it in the wrong places. A fortress of fat is not much protection against the hurts and dangers to which we are all vulnerable as human beings. Overeating does not keep us safe from real or imagined threats. We need to accept the fact that there is no such thing as absolute security. All of us are mortal and subject to hazards and destruction. Paradoxically, our security consists in relinquishing our lives to the care of our Higher Power. When we feel safely centered in Him, we have the courage to take risks and give up our worn-out security blankets. I trust You to care for me, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PAIN “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain." Kahlil Gibran There was much to be unhappy about in my childhood. There was also a lot of unhappiness in my adult life. Until I found The Recovery Group online, that unhappiness was the driving force in my life. That force robbed me of the ability to see and enjoy the many wonderful things that I had experienced. I wore a cloak of sadness, bitterness and resentment ~ I had been short-changed. It was the old glass-half-empty, glass-half-full story....poor me. Being able to share the pain and unhappiness I have known has freed me from the power it had over me. Clearing away the wreckage is enabling me to see my part in some of the unhappiness I've known. It has enabled me to see more clearly that there is so much for which I can be grateful. It has enabled me to see that I truly AM the person of value which I had represented myself to be towards others. I am integrating that person into the "unacceptable" being I carried within. I have seen others here endure challenge, pain and hardships with so much grace. I have learned that pain is, indeed, inevitable. I have the choice whether to dwell on the pain morbidly, or to instead focus on the joy of this day. One day at a time... I will live in the joy of this day and I will strive to share this wonderful gift of self-acceptance to others in program. ~ Karen A. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote All changes made over the years in the Big Book ( A.A. members' fond nickname for this volume ) have had the same purpose: to represent the current membership of Alcoholics Anonymous more accurately, and thereby to reach more alcoholics. If you have a drinking problem, we hope that you may pause in reading one of the forty-two personal stories and think: 'Yes, that happened to me'; or, more important, 'Yes, I've felt like that'; or, most important, 'Yes, I believe this program can work for me too.' - Pg. xii - 4th. Edition - Preface Hour To Hour - Book - Quote When we feel like we can't hold on for a whole day, we get a clock and hold on for an hour. When an hour is too long, we hold on for 10 minutes. At the end of 10, do another 10, and another and another, until it's OK. Help me make it from hour to hour, or minute to minute if need be! Truth Today, I accept that without truth there is nothing. Truth is the soil out of which sustenance grows and nourishment comes, so that we can move in healthy directions. Lies have no food value and starve my spirit; but truth though it can hurt, has a way of hoeing and tilling the soil so that some new growth can occur. Even though knowing the truth may seem unnecessary somewhere inside, I know it anyway. Bringing truth out into the open gives me a chance to lift the veil of secrecy that has made a wound feel like a dark hole. It allows angst to transform and break into a thousand little somethings that each contain usable and illuminating information that can again nurture health and life. I am willing to live with truth. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth- applies to the old-timer as well as the beginner-anyone who is too fond of their own voice. I listen to learn and learn to listen. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You must go within or you go without. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I have the courage to look within without fear at what needs to be changed in my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote They've got me stretched out - the paramedics who are dedicated to saving your life when you don't want your life saved - and next to the bed are two nuns; one old, one young. The old one walked away, she's had me because I was giving her a lot of lip - I always gave a people a lot of lip when I was the most afraid - but the young nun stayed. She looked down at me, so beautiful. I've come to believe in earth angels. She had on a white habit, and all I could see was her face. Her eyes were a blue as the heavens. And this young nun started to cry over me as she looked down at me, the spiritual being that she was. She had never seen me before. The tears were falling on the covers of that bed. And she said, ' How did you ever let your life get into such a state?' and I heard her. No one had ever asked that before. They'd always told me how I should stop drinking; do this, do that, do this.... - Clara S. |
June 12
Daily Reflections FORMING TRUE PARTNERSHIPS But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53 Can these words apply to me, am I still unable to form a true partnership with another human being? What a terrible handicap that would be for me to carry into my sober life! In my sobriety I will meditate and pray to discover how I may be a trusted friend and companion. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we came into A.A., we made a tremendous discovery. We found that we were sick persons rather than moral lepers. We were not such odd ducks as we thought we were. We found other people who had the same illness that we had, who had been through the same experiences that we had been through. They had recovered. if they could do it, we could do it. Was hope born in me the day I walked into A.A.? Meditation For The Day "He that heareth these sayings and doeth them is like unto a man who built his house upon a rock and the rain descended and the floods came and the wind blew and beat upon that house and it fell not for it was founded upon a rock." When your life is built upon obedience to God and upon doing His will as you understand it, you will be steadfast and unmovable even in the midst of storms. The serene, steadfast, unmovable life - the rock home - is laid stone by stone - foundation, walls, and roof - by acts of obedience to the heavenly vision. The daily following of God's guidance and the daily doing of His will shall build your house upon a rock. Prayer For The Day I pray that my life may be founded upon the rock of faith. I pray that I may be obedient to the heavenly vision. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Release and Joy, p. 163 Who can render an account of all the miseries that once were ours, and who can estimate the release and joy that later years have brought to us? Who can possibly tell the vast consequences of what God's work through A.A. has already set in motion? And who can penetrate the deeper mystery of our wholesale deliverance from slavery, a bondage to a most hopeless and fatal obsession which for centuries possessed the minds and bodies of men and women like ourselves? << << << >> >> >> We think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have helped others to recover. What greater cause could there be for rejoicing than this? 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 44-45 2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 132 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Being right or wrong____ Honesty Step Ten advises us to promptly admit it when we're wrong. Perhaps there should be another Step warning us not to be too confident when we're sure we're right. It's true that there are many times when we are right. It's also possible, however, that we might be only 99 percent right, and that tiny fractions of error could mean our downfall. Something is also wrong when we find ourselves vigorously asserting that we're right. We don't have to "admit it" when we're right because being right speaks for itself. In the long run, truth and right action don't really have to be defended. Part of being right is the willingness to believe that we may be wrong, however hard that is to accept. If I'm wrong today, I'll admit it. If I'm right, I'll refrain from announcing it with too much assurance. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The lust for power is not rooted in strength, but to weakness. We believed Alcohol or other drugs could help us control our happiness. But now we’re learning to rely on faith for our happiness. Faith is about leaving things to our Higher Power's control. Instead of wanting the control ourselves, we trust our Higher Power will help us handle things that come along. In recovery, we work at having more faith. Faith in a Higher Power. Faith in the Steps. Faith in our groups. Faith that our lives will get better, if we don't use chemicals and we work an honest recovery program. Faith makes life a lot easier. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature's greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal. --Catherine Ponder Feeling joy may not come naturally to us most of the time. We may, in fact, have to act "as if" with great effort. We may not even recognize genuine joy in the beginning. A technique for finding it is living fully in the present and with gratitude for all we can see, touch, and feel. The open and honest expression of gratitude for the presence of the ones closest to us now creates a rush within our breasts, a rush that will be shared by our friends, too. Joy is contagious. Joy is freeing. Joy brings into focus our distorted perceptions. Greeting life with joy alters every experience for us and for those we share it with. I will bring joy wherever I go today. I will give the gift of joy to everyone I meet. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Being convinced, we were at step three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do? p. 60 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. One night we were talking about when we started drinking, and I was saying that I drank all my life. Actually I was given my first drink at my bris. That is usually done when a boy is eight days old. So I said all Jewish boys starting drinking early. I had to admit that after that it was the usual milk and juice until I could sit up at the table with the family, and then there would be kiddush wine every Friday night. Not great stuff--what we got was sweet wine and seltzer, so I didn't drink very much of it. I didn't like it. Later I learned the definition of a social drinker: someone who could take it or leave it. pp. 401-402 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." There is another reason for this singleness of purpose. It is the great paradox of A.A. that we know we can seldom keep the precious gift of sobriety unless we give it away. If a group of doctors possessed a cancer cure, they might be conscience-stricken if they failed their mission through self-seeking. Yet such a failure wouldn't jeopardize their personal survival. for us, if we neglect those who are still sick, there is unremitting danger to our own lives and sanity. Under these compulsions of self-preservation, duty, and love, it is not strange that our Society has concluded that it has but one high mission - to carry the A.A. message to those who don't know there is a way out. p. 151 ************************************************** ********* It is not enough to love those who are near and dear to us. We must show them that we do so. --Lord Eric Avebury Never say more than is necessary. --Richard Brinsley Sheridan "The power behind me is greater than the problem in front of me." --unknown The surest sign of wisdom is constant cheerfulness. --Montaigne Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, but only saps today of its strength. --A. J. Cronin "... when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present--love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure--the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth." --Sarah Ban Brethnach *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation POTENTIAL "There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives his life by the unfolding of his powers." --Eric Fromm My life was powerless when I was drinking. The drug alcohol stopped me from reaching my full potential - I was depressed, tired, angry, lonely and confused. Incredible as it may sound, I was the enemy to my life. By drinking alcohol, I fed the disease and made my life unmanageable. Then I had a "moment" when I saw what I was doing to my life. The pain caused by drinking outweighed any advantages. I had hit my bottom. I began to change my life by refusing the first drink, and I began to experience a new vitality and potential. A new and creative life dawned. Friendships and relationships were possible again. God became understandable in His world. My power as a human being was unleashed in my sobriety. Master, may I discover my potential in the loving decisions I undertake. ************************************************** ********* "For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Luke 18:25 Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it. 1 Peter 3:9 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 The LORD will continually guide you. Isaiah 58:11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The more generous and kind we are, the more thoughtful and forgiving, the closer we come to awareness of God's powerful love. Lord, let Your love take over in me and lead and guide me to goodness. You cannot ask too much if you use your blessings ceaselessly. Lord, help me to reflect on and live in Your spirit. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A Vision Of Hope "Yes, we are a vision of hope..." Basic Text, p. 51 By the time we reached the end of our road, many of us had lost all hope for a life without the use of drugs. We believed we were destined to die from our disease. What an inspiration it was, then, coming to our first meeting and seeing a room full of addicts who were staying clean! A clean addict is, indeed, a vision of hope. Today, we give that same hope to others. The newcomers see the joyful light in our eyes, notice how we carry ourselves, listen to us speak in meetings, and often want what we have found. They believe in us until they learn to believe in themselves. Newcomers hear us carry a message of hope to them. They tend to see us through "rose-colored glasses," They don't always recognize our struggle with a particular character defect or our difficulties with improving our conscious contact with our Higher Power. It takes them time to realize that we, the "old-timers" with three or six or ten years clean, often place personalities before principles or suffer from some other unsightly character defects. Yes, the newcomer sometimes places us on a pedestal. It is good, though, to openly admit the nature of our struggles in recovery for, in time, the newcomer will be walking through those same trials. And that newcomer will remember that others walked through that difficulty and stayed clean. Just for today: I will remember that I am a beacon to all who follow in my path, a vision of hope. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The more a diamond is cut the more it sparkles. --Anonymous There is something of value to be found even in the worst of things. Consider the oyster. When a grain of sand penetrates an oyster's shell, it irritates the oyster, making it uncomfortable. The oyster relieves the pain by coating the sand with a soothing liquid. When this liquid hardens, a pearl is formed. The very process that healed the oyster creates a precious jewel for others to cherish and admire. The way in which we deal with our own frustrations--painful though they may be--can make a difference. Pearls can be formed from our experiences, making us wiser and stronger, or grains of sand--anger, bitterness, resentment--can remain imbedded inside us. The choice is ours. How can I turn my irritations into pearls today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Originality is unexplored territory. You get there by carrying a canoe - you can't take a taxi. --Alan Alda We are on an adventure trip in this program. Each of us is a wilderness that is only partly explored and mapped. We can't know exactly what we will find along the way, but we can expect to find some great and moving beauty, some spectacular experiences, as well as awesome and frightening ones, and some soft, pleasant rest spots. Any day will have a mixture of various feelings. This program is not a map of the uncharted territory. It is a guide for survival in the wilderness. It tells us how to orient ourselves when there are no familiar landmarks and how to learn and grow from the experience. The more time we spend in this wilderness, exploring the mystery of living, the more comfortable we become with it and the greater appreciation we have for its unique beauty. Today, I pray for the courage to explore the original person I was created to be. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature's greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal. --Catherine Ponder Feeling joy may not come naturally to us most of the time. We may, in fact, have to act "as if" with great effort. We may not even recognize genuine joy in the beginning. A technique for finding it is living fully in the present and with gratitude for all we can see, touch, and feel. The open and honest expression of gratitude for the presence of the ones closest to us now creates a rush within our breasts, a rush that will be shared by our friends, too. Joy is contagious. Joy is freeing. Joy brings into focus our distorted perceptions. Greeting life with joy alters every experience for us and for those we share it with. I will bring joy wherever I go today. I will give the gift of joy to everyone I meet. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Spontaneity and Fun Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun. The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don't have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like. Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation. One of the "normal" experiences many of us have been deprived of is having fun. Another one is being spontaneous. We may not have the foggiest notion what we would like to do for fun. And we may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn't allow ourselves to try something fun, anyway. We can let ourselves go a little now and then. We can loosen up a bit. We don't have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are. Take some risks. Try some new activities. What would we like to do? What might we enjoy doing? Then, take another risk. Pick out a movie we'd like to see; call a friend, and invite him or her to go along. If that person says no, try someone else, or try again another time. Decide to try something, then go through with it. Go once. Go twice. Practice having fun until fun becomes fun. Today, I will do something just for fun. I will practice having fun until I actually enjoy it. Today I will honor my own values and be open to change as a result of growth. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Recharge Your Battery Rest when you’re tired. Take a break when life stales. Take time to recharge your battery. Energy isn’t something you have– it’s something you are. To give and give, to put out without taking in, depletes your battery. It drains you, runs you down. Running on a low battery is no longer necessary, because now we know how to live differently. Taking time to rest, renew, and refresh yourself isn’t wasted time. Recharge. Choose what energizes you. Nature. A song. The voice of a friend. A nap. A hot bath. A cup of tea. A favorite program. A movie that makes you laugh or cry. A walk. A run. A prayer. A poem. A book that speaks to your soul. Actions that emerge from an energized source are easier, go further, accomplish more. Let your work and love come from a vital spirit. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relaxing will help you work Joe is a professional chef. He started working in kitchens before he was in his teens. Gradually, he worked his way up from washing dishes until he found himself running a successful catering operation. The only problem was, the more successful the business became, the less time Joe had for the rest of his life. Joe reveled in the knowledge that he was the hardest-working guy he knew. In his mind, the company existed solely because he was there. Joe was surprised when his wife left him for someone less successful. “How could she do that to me?” he moaned to friends. “I worked my tail off so she could have nice things and this is how she repays me?” Then one day while catering a wedding, he realized what happened. He hadn’t been present for his marriage. He had fallen victim to his own success, imprisoned by the company he had created. He took a day off. Then a weekend. Then he trained an assistant to help run the company. It cost him money at the outset, but he discovered life in the process. “I was so busy being a success,” he says, “that I didn’t realize how miserable I was.” When he took a vacation to the Southwest, his culinary instincts got the best of him and he spent half of the vacation learning new recipes, but he had fun.”For the first time in years, I was playing in the kitchen again rather than just working,” Joe says. Today Joe has discovered the joy of balance. He no longer feels that he alone must bear the weight of the world, and is stronger for it. His business is growing and he has gotten a reputation as an innovator, largely due to things he has learned while not in the kitchen. When we’re successful, it’s difficult to take time away from our work; it feels like the success that we worked so hard for will slip away if we’re not there tending to it every moment. The truth is, we get so busy earning a living that we forget to have a life. Take some time to see if you could spend a little less time at the office and a little more time with yourself and the ones you love. You might be pleasantly surprised at the effect a break can have on your motivation and the joy you have for what you do. God, teach me– and help me learn– to have fun in my life, my work, and my relationships with the people I love. ************************************************** In God’s Care When a person is concerned only with giving, there is no anxiety. ~~Gerald Jampolsky Whatever we give away returns to us, many-fold. When we show love or understanding, when we are gentle or express genuine concern, usually the same will come right back to us. Perhaps not in kind, maybe not in ways we expected, nevertheless our gifts bear fruit. Many of us have longed for love and security to come from others with a promise of forever; inevitably, we became anxious that, in time, that love or security would disappear. When we view life from such a narrow perspective, no amount of love can bolster our sense of worth. How different the world looks when we unselfishly give out love rather than longingly await the love, attention, or understanding of others. We guarantee receiving the good feelings we crave every time we share those feelings with a fellow traveler. I am in charge of what I receive from others today. I will get back what I willingly give. ***************************************** Wherever You Are Home Is Where the Heart Is by Madisyn Taylor Allow HOME to be a feeling you carry inside yourself, wherever you are. The word “home” has a wide variety of connotations. To some, home is merely a place where basic needs are addressed. To others, home is the foundation from which they draw their strength and tranquility. Still, others view home as a place inexorably linked to family. Yet all these definitions of home imply somewhere we can be ourselves and are totally accepted. There, we feel safe enough to let down our guard, peaceful enough to really relax, and loved enough to want to return day after day. However, these qualities need not be linked to a single space or any space at all. Home is where the heart is and can be the locale you live in, a community you once lived in, or the country where you plan to live someday. Or home can be a feeling you carry inside yourself, wherever you are. The process of evolution can require you to undergo transformations that uproot you. Moving from place to place can seem to literally divide you from the foundations you have come to depend on. Since your home is so intimately tied to the memories that define you, you may feel that you are losing a vital part of yourself when you leave behind your previous house, city, state, or country. And as it may take some time before you fashion new memories, you may feel homeless even after settling into your new abode. To carry your home with you, you need only become your own foundation. Doing so is merely a matter of staying grounded and centered, and recognizing that the pleasures you enjoyed in one place will still touch your heart in another if you allow them. Your home can be any space or state of being that fulfills you, provided you are at peace with yourself and your surroundings. A person can feel like home to you, as can seasons and activities. If you feel disconnected from what you once thought of as home, your detachment may be a signal that you are ready to move one. Simply put, you will know you have found your home when both your physical environment and energetic surroundings are in harmony with the individual you are within. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the ravages of guilt. In my own case, during the early days in The Program, I either misunderstood certain of the Steps, or tried to apply them too quickly and too eagerly. The result was that I increased my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself as The Steps intend. Soon, though, I became at least willing to forgive myself, and I made a new beginning. I undertook all the soul-searching and cleansing Steps in our Program as they were intended to be taken, and not from a below-ground position of crippling hate and guilt. Have I made amends to myself? Today I Pray May I forgive myself, as God has forgiven me. May I know that if I am hanging onto an old satchel full of guilt, then I am to following the example He has shown me. If God can forgive me — and He has demonstrated His forgiveness by leading me to this healing place — then so can I. May I not begrudge myself what He has so generously offered. Today I Will Remember God forgives; so must I. ************************************************** One More Day Develop an expanding sense of wonder at the world at yourself, at God. The world will never starve for wonders — only for the want of wonder. – Bernard S. Raskas A crisis in our lives can make us cruel and bitter but can also cause us to do some soul-searching. Those of us who take inventory, who soul-search, may have a personal awakening to our capacity for joy and giving. Being aware of the beauty and symmetry that constantly surround us allows the horizons of our minds to expand. As our sense of spirituality becomes whole again, we are aware of our impact upon others and upon nature. A spiritual sense of self is important in my quest to find out who I am and what kind of person I want to be. ************************************ Food For Thought More Than Bread Without a Higher Power, we grasp at material things for security and inspiration. Since they do not give us the ultimate satisfaction we seek, we are left in despair. We need more than bread, but we do not know how to go about getting it. OA leads us back to the spiritual basis of our lives, which we may have lost. All we have to do is be willing to believe in a Power greater than ourselves. When we see what has happened to others who have suffered from the same hunger that plagues us and who have found meaning and fulfillment, we let go of some of our doubt and cynicism. Lack of faith is perhaps our greatest impediment to spiritual progress. We have been thing-oriented for so long that it is difficult to change. We can agree, however, that the food we overate was not enough to satisfy us. That there is a spiritual source of nourishment, which will be adequate for our needs, is a conviction, which grows stronger the longer we work the OA program. I pray for the spiritual food which satisfies. ***************************************** One Day At A Time EXPECTATIONS “It’s astonishing in this world how things don’t turn out at all the way you expect them to.” Agatha Christie My life has been strangled by expectations ~ expectations I’ve held for myself; expectations others had of me; expectations I had of others; expectations I had for my life; and expectations I had of the God of my understanding. Again and again, my expectations were not met ~ and I was angry. I felt grossly let down and I was filled with resentment and shame. Eventually I became consumed by a toxic sense of angry and depressing apathy. If nothing turned out as I expected, why bother? I’d held so tightly to my expectations that they choked the life out of my soul. They condemned me to an existence of futility, frustration, selfishness, and despair. I thought that my expectations were realistic and “right”; therefore each variance from my expectations seemed a violation of the natural order of things. Since beginning my Recovery work, I’ve come to recognize that I virtually believed that I was God. I thought I knew what was “best”, what was “right”, and what was “supposed” to happen. Though I am sometimes resistant, I am learning to let go of my expectations. I am learning to change my focus from my finite understanding to the mysterious and omniscient plan held safely and sanely in the hands of God. As I work my steps and learn from others, I find that I am relieved that my earlier expectations did not come to fruition. One day at a time... I surrender my former expectations and now expect only one thing: that as I work my steps, God will bring me increasing depths of sanity. ~ Sharon ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith? For did we not believe in our own reasoning? Did we not have confidence in our ability to think? What was that but a sort of faith? Yes, we had been faithful, abjectly faithful to the God of Reason. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time! - Pgs. 53-54 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Just as we begin to learn that others are not responsible for us using or drinking, we learn that they are not responsible for keeping us clean and sober. Only we can not pick up that first fix, pill or drink. Only we can lay the foundation of our recovery -- abstinence. When I am tempted to use again, let me see the excuses as the mental tricks they are. I will talk to a sober person first! Healing Sometimes, healing doesn't feel good. Sometimes, it involves deep pain. The effect of healing is gentle, freeing and wonderful, but the road leading to it can be hellish. Now, I understand what the Psalms mean by, 'valley of the shadow of death.' They were referring to a spiritual enlightenment involving a death and a rebirth. In order to be born into enlightenment, it is necessary that I face and clear out the dark and scary parts of myself. I need all of me for a life of spiritual freedom. Today, I know that I was never alone along the way, and that I need never feel alone again. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If there is someone weaker than you, be kind to them. If there is someone stronger than you, be kind to yourself. What kind of person am I? The kind, kind. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book There is no situation so bad that a compulsive action can't make it worse. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will honor my own values and be open to change as a result of growth; ok once more. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote A lot of alcoholics say: 'Well there's us, and then there's normal people.' Read my lips: There are no normal people. There are just people who haven't shared with you yet. - Ken D |
June 13
Daily Reflections LIVING OUR AMENDS "Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is to some extent, ill." ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 122 It is important for me to realize that, as an alcoholic, I not only hurt myself, but also those around me. Making amends to my family, and to the families of alcoholics still suffering, will always be important. Understanding the havoc I created and trying to repair the destruction, will be a lifelong endeavor. The example of my sobriety may give others hope, and faith to help themselves. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A. we have to reeducate our minds. We have to learn to think differently. We have to take a long view of drinking instead of a short view. We have to look through the glass to what lies beyond it. We have to look through the night before to the morning after. No matter how good liquor looks from the short view, we must realize that in the long run it is poison to us. Have I learned to look through the bottle to the better life that lies ahead? Meditation For The Day If you are honestly trying to live the way you believe God wants you to live, you can get guidance from God in times of quiet communion with Him, provided your thoughts are directed toward God's will and all good things. The attitude of "Thy will, not mine, be done' leads to clear guidance. Act on this guidance and you will be led to better things. Your impulses seem to become less your own and more the leading of God's spirit acting through your thoughts. Obeyed, they will bring you the answers to your prayers. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may try to think God's thoughts after Him. I pray that my thoughts may be guided by His thoughts. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It A Saving Principle, p. 164 The practice of admitting one's defects to another person is, of course, very ancient. It has been validated in every century, and it characterizes the lives of all spiritually centered and truly religious people. But today religion is by no means the sole advocate of this saving principle. Psychiatrists and psychologists point out the deep need every human being has for practical insight and knowledge of his own personal flaws and a discussion of them with an understanding and trustworthy person. So far as alcoholics are concerned, A.A. would go even further. Most of us would declare that without a fearless admission of our defects to another human being, we could not stay sober. It seems plain that the grace of God will not enter to expel our destructive obsessions until we are willing to try this. 12 & 12, pp. 56-57 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places The Boredom Battle Acceptance and Patience. All of us have times when we don=t enjoy our sobriety as much as we feel we should. Thought we're still grateful, we sometimes feel bored and depressed. What we have to remember at such times is our bleak history of using alcohol as a quick fix for boredom. However ruinous and false it proved to be, alcohol did temporarily bring the miraculous change we sought. We thought of alcohol as a means of uplifting our mood. We were very surprised to learn that it's a really a depressant. Maybe it lifted us up by depressing our self-doubt and self-criticism. Whatever the nature of our drinking, we need to stay sober while fighting our battles with boredom. We can do that by accepting a bit of boredom without succumbing to it. Meanwhile, we can look for ways of easing boredom that don=t get us into trouble or lead back to the bottle. I'll not feel guilty or unworthy if boredom strikes me now and then. Today I'll help manage my long-term boredom tendencies by practicing acceptance and patience for twenty-four hours. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. ---Robert Frost Worry---it's a lonely activity. It puts distance between us and others. Our program is full of ideas about what to do with worry. On Step Three, we turn our will and our lives over to God. This includes worry. Our slogans also suggest what to do with worry. One Day at a Time. Live and Let Live. Easy Does It. Let Go and Let God. Their main message is stop worrying. Trust the program. Trust your Higher Power. Everything will be okay. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I give You my worries. Teach me how to trust again. I want to trust in You, my program, and myself. Action for the Day: I'll write the program slogans listed above on a piece of paper, and I'll read them over today. I'll let myself live them today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Everyday . . . life confronts us with new problems to be solved which force us to adjust our old programs accordingly. --Dr. Ann Faraday Facing the day straight on is occasionally difficult to do. There are those days we feel like crawling under the covers and staying there, certain that we can't handle whatever might be asked of us. Maybe today is one of those days. Perhaps we feel 12 years old, instead of 42. To consciously behave like a responsible 42-year-old is out of the question. Acting "as if" is the next best thing, the program tells us, and it is. Acting "as if" also comes in handy when only a minor kink interferes with the day's progression. Most problems don't fit an easy solution or a familiar one. However, most problems are dispensed with by seeing them as opportunities for creative response, calmly seeking guidance and then moving ahead slowly, being aware of the effects of our actions. Today, and every day, I will have an opportunity to think creatively and to rely on my inner guide. Instead of dreading the unfamiliar, I will be glad for it. It's moving me ever closer to understanding life's mysteries. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits. pp. 60-61 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. When I was about ten years old, we all came back from my cousin's bar mitzvah services to celebrate at my grandmother's house. All the adults went over to the table for a schnapps. There were all these little tiny glasses in front of various liquor bottles and everybody was having one, so I had one too. It was good. It was smooth and warm and wonderful. I liked it and went back for another one. This one wasn't smooth--it was hot going down, not as wonderful. p. 402 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." Highlighting the wisdom of A.A.'s single purpose, a member tells this story: "Restless one day, I felt I'd better do some Twelfth Step work. Maybe I should take out some insurance against a slip. But first I'd have to find a drunk to work on. "So I hopped the subway to Towns Hospital, where I asked Dr. Silkworth if he had a prospect. `Nothing too promising,' the little doc said. `There's just one chap on the third floor who might be a possibility. But he's an awfully tough Irishman. I never saw a man so obstinate. He shouts that if his partner would treat him better, and his wife would leave him alone, he'd soon solve his alcohol problem. He's had a bad case of D.T.'s, he's pretty foggy, and he's very suspicious of everybody. Doesn't sound too good, does it? But working with him may do something for you, so why don't you have a go at it?' pp. 151-152 ************************************************** ********* A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. --unknown The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. --Martin Luther King, Jr. Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. --Helen Keller Laughter is God's sunshine. --Anonymous "A fear faced is a fear erased." --unknown When we step off the path it is up to us to step back on it. --SweetyZee Faith can take us to a place beyond time and space where God dwells. --SweetyZee Faith relieves worry and cares, brings peace and harmony, gives us all the strength we need. --SweetyZee *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation WORLD "We are citizens of the world; and the tragedy of our time is that we do not know this." --Woodrow Wilson In recovery I have learned to "go home" to who I am - and part of this involves my understanding my place in this vast universe. I am a child of God and my "family" is not just my immediate blood relatives, but also the millions of other people that inhabit this planet. God did not just make me. God does not just love me. God is concerned for all His children. As an alcoholic I did not have this attitude and I was always feeling lost and different. I became selfish and narrow in my lifestyle. Other people were tolerated. Today I have a "big" God and He has enabled me to grow not only in my acceptance of self but also in my acceptance of others. Today I am a citizen of the world and it feels good. Lord, today I know what it is to belong to the human family. And with this awareness comes responsibility. ************************************************** ********* "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a lamp to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to observe thy righteous ordinances." Psalm 119:105-106 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. Romans 8:18 If we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7 "And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you." Romans 8:11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The phrase "Never Again" is too large a commitment and too easily discarded when we stumble. Lord, help me to work on being a better person today, so that in time, my good habits will require little or no effort. Tragedy and suffering often opens the soul to the heights of spiritual growth. Lord, let the hardships of my life be my prayer and work to draw You closer and closer. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A Full Life "The program works a miracle in our lives....We become free to live." Basic Text, p. 11 Most of us-if we've been in recovery for any length of time at all-have heard some member complaining in a meeting about being terribly overworked, too busy for meetings or sponsorship or other activities. In fact, we may have been the complaining member. The days seem so full: job, family and friends, meetings, activities, sponsorship, step work. "There just aren't enough hours in the day;" the member complains, "to get everything done and meet everyone's demands on my time!" When this happens, usually there's soft laughter from some of the other members-probably members who had planned to grumble about the same sort of thing. The laughter stems from our recognition that we are complaining about the miracle of the life that is ours today. Not so long ago, few of us were capable of having any of these "problems" in our life. We devoted all of our energy to maintaining our active addiction. Today we have full lives, complete with all the feelings and problems that go with living in reality. Just for today: I will remember that my life is a miracle. Instead of resenting how busy I am, I will be thankful my life is so full. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Let the gentle bush dig its root deep and spread upward to split one boulder. --Carl Sandburg There is a fable about the sun and wind having a contest to see who can get the old man to take his coat off first. The wind blows fiercely, but the old man just pulls his coat tighter around him. Finally, the wind gives up and the sun comes out. The sun shines a steady warm light down on the old man, who soon takes his coat off. More and better things are accomplished in this world by kindness and gentleness than by force. When we find ourselves most frustrated, it is often because we are trying to force certain things to happen. Our own patient and steady desire to grow, fed by the love and kindness of others, will not be stopped by anything or anyone. Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is like the gentle bush that grows through granite. What can I gain by gentleness today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. You must fight off a "bad luck" way of thinking as if you were dealing with an invasion of hostile forces for that is precisely what you are dealing with. --Maxwell Maltz Life is an ongoing experience with two opposing forces. One force is constantly building up, and the other is constantly tearing down. We have successes and accomplishments, and we have failures and defeats. We finally get our house in order, and it immediately begins to become disordered again. There are forces supporting our self-esteem and forces tearing us down. Friends who wish us well, goodwill and generosity among people, and the momentum of our healthy actions are constructive forces in our lives. Destructive forces are the pull of old habits, bad luck, accidents, and negative thoughts. We must choose on which side we will put our energies. Are we men who hate ourselves, believe in bad luck and despair, and thereby join the forces that would tear us down? Or will we choose to be on the side that builds us up? Today, by the grace of God, I will join the forces that are on my side. I will stand up for myself and my worth. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Everyday . . . life confronts us with new problems to be solved which force us to adjust our old programs accordingly. --Dr. Ann Faraday Facing the day straight on is occasionally difficult to do. There are those days we feel like crawling under the covers and staying there, certain that we can't handle whatever might be asked of us. Maybe today is one of those days. Perhaps we feel 12 years old, instead of 42. To consciously behave like a responsible 42-year-old is out of the question. Acting "as if" is the next best thing, the program tells us, and it is. Acting "as if" also comes in handy when only a minor kink interferes with the day's progression. Most problems don't fit an easy solution or a familiar one. However, most problems are dispensed with by seeing them as opportunities for creative response, calmly seeking guidance and then moving ahead slowly, being aware of the effects of our actions. Today, and every day, I will have an opportunity to think creatively and to rely on my inner guide. Instead of dreading the unfamiliar, I will be glad for it. It's moving me ever closer to understanding life's mysteries. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Hanging on to Old Relationships We want to travel baggage free on this journey. It makes the trip easier. Some of the baggage we can let go of is lingering feelings and unfinished business with past relationships: anger, resentments; feelings of victimization, hurt, or longing. If we have not put closure on a relationship, if we cannot walk away in peace, we have not yet learned our lesson. That may mean we will have to have another go around with that lesson before we are ready to move on. We may want to do a Fourth Step (a written inventory of our relationships) and a Fifth Step (an admission of our wrongs). What feelings did we leave with in a particular relationship? Are we still carrying those feelings around? Do we want the heaviness and impact of that baggage on our behavior today? Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago? It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. It may be time to put past relationships to rest, so we are free to go on to new, more rewarding experiences. We can choose to live in the past, or we can choose to finish our old business from the past and open ourselves to the beauty of today. Let go of your baggage from past relationships. Today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships. I am open to experience my connection with God and all the people I meet on my path today. There is new joy each time I realize our sameness rather than our separateness. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Trust the Process of Growth Be patient with yourself. It takes time to work out issues, to work through things. It takes time to learn lessons. The more important the lesson, the longer the cycle to work it out and work it through. We may live in a technical age, but our souls aren’t technical. They’re still connected to nature. We grow and change as nature does. Learn her ways. Study her seasons and cycles, and know those same seasons and cycles are in each of us. The process of change is like planting a seed and watching it grow and bloom into a flower. What are you trying to develop? A project? A change in yourself? Is there something new you’re learning, trying to do? Are you trying to adjust to a major change in your life? Is there an old habit you’re struggling to let go of? A love relationship or friendship you’re hoping to begin or attempting to end? Each stage of the process of growth and change is important. From those first moments when we see the idea, or the change begins, to those long moments of nurturing and nourishing the idea, each stage counts. Is there a change in your life that’s begun, one you’ve started to notice? Are you thinking about it a lot, talking about it a lot, but not quite ready to take action? That stage is important too. You’re nurturing and nourishing the seeds of change. It takes time for nature to change things into what they’re becoming. It takes time for things to develop. Be patient with yourself and life. Trust the process of growth. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax and flow I visited the Hoover Dam in Nevada some time ago and marveled at its construction and purpose. Here was a huge structure that had been built into a canyon to harness the power of thousands of tons of moving water. The water flows through the machinery, and the energy of the moving water is transformed into electricity that powers thousands of homes and businesses. But it wouldn’t work if you dammed up a lake, because the water has to be moving for it to have power. The secret to the power is in the flowing. How often we try to stifle the flow of events in our lives with control. We think that if we could only get things to go the way we want, then everything would be all right. We take the energy of the universe and bottle it up. And we kill its energy. Let go of control. Let the energy of life flow through and around you. You can learn to direct the flow, but you don’t need to control it. Become open to the energy that is flowing around you, and rather than trying to bottle it up, let it flow. Energy is useful only when it is flowing. Relax and go with the flow of the universe. You’ll be better able to harness its power. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me let go of my fear. ************************************************** In God’s Care Who can control his fate? ~~William Shakespeare We often think we are in control when we’re not. For instance, the place we live, our friends, our co-workers, the amount of money we have, our spare time – how much can we really control these? How many people are in our life as a result of our own control? Were we able to control the outcome of situations we cared about? Why, then, should we be reluctant to relinquish our questionable control to a Higher Power who knows far better how to handle our life? Questions about our work, how to spend our money, who our friends are, where we go, and what we do – these are not decisions we have to make alone. Even when we think we’re in control, we’re getting guidance from God. Acknowledging God’s presence is the surest way to accept who really is in control of our life. Today I will exercise the greatest power I have – my decision to ask God for help. ************************************* Coming Full Circle A New Level of Mastery by Madisyn Taylor Often the reappearance of an old pattern is a sign that it has come full circle ready to be released. Life is a circular journey through our issues and processes, and this is why things that are technically new often seem very familiar. It is also why, whenever we work to release a habit, change a pattern, or overcome a fear, we often encounter that issue one last time, even after we thought we had conquered it. Often, when this happens, we feel defeated or frustrated that after all our hard work we are still dealing with the same problem. However, the reappearance of a pattern, habit, or fear, is often a sign that we have come full circle, and that if we can maintain our resolve through one last test, we will achieve a new level of mastery in our lives. When we come full circle, there is often the feeling that we have arrived in a familiar place, but that we ourselves are somehow different. We know that we can handle challenges that seemed insurmountable when we began our journey, and there is the feeling that we might be ready to take on a new problem, or some new aspect of the old problem. We feel empowered and courageous to have taken on the challenge of stopping a pattern, releasing a habit, or overcoming a fear, and to have succeeded. At times like these, we deserve a moment of rest and self-congratulation before we move on to the next challenge. Coming full circle is like stepping into a clearing where, for a moment, we can see where we came from and where we are standing at the same time. Remembering that we will be tested again is important, but it’s also important to pause and take a look at the ground we’ve covered, honoring our courage, our persistence, and our achievement. Then we can begin the next leg of our circular journey with a fuller understanding of where we are coming from. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I don’t believe that The Program and Twelve Steps work because I read it in a book, or because I hear other people say so. I believe it because I see other people recovering and because I know that I, too, am recovering. No longer do I believe that I am “helpless and hopeless.” When I see the change in other people and in myself, I know that The Program works. When a television reporter once asked the philosopher Jung if he believed in God, Jung replied slowly, “I don’t believe — I know” Do I know that The Program works? Today I Pray Show me the happy endings, the mended lives, the reconstituted selves, the rebuilt bridges, so I will not have to accept on faith the fact that The Program works. May I see it working — for others and for me. May I be grateful for the documented reality of The Program’s success. May this certainty help me find the faith I need to follow the Twelve Steps. Today I Will Remember The Program works. ************************************************** One More Day A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy. – Guy Fawkes Safety is important to all of us, but sometimes it is so important that we refuse to take risks. We may stay in unhealthy relationships or ignore our own or others’ bizarre behavior because we’re afraid of leaving the safety of our routine. We become more willing, however, to take risks when things become desperate. The we might take desperate measures. We might seek counseling or file for divorce in order to rescue or end a hurting relationship. If we feel emotionally upset, we might as for professional help. That, too, involves taking a risk. These decisions don’t come lightly. There is much soul-searching involved but we’re able to make the decision when we realize that safety is sometimes more dangerous than risk. I can make choices that are good for me, even if they threaten my safe routine. ************************************ Food For Thought Research In OA meetings, we sometimes hear reports of "research" done by a member who breaks abstinence in order to find out whether he or she is still a compulsive overeater. The experiment invariably proves that once a compulsive overeater, always a compulsive overeater. Among the results are remorse, regained weight, and weakened control. It has been said that we are like someone who has lost a leg. We do not grow a new one. We can, nevertheless, learn to live with our disability if we are willing to abstain and follow the OA program. Most of us find that we cannot go back to eating binge foods moderately, but we can avoid them. We are like the alcoholic who can lead a normal, satisfying life as long as he or she stays away from alcohol. Further research is not necessary. By accepting our need for a disciplined eating plan, we can benefit from the experience of those who have been in the program longer than we. May I remember that further research is unnecessary. ***************************************** One Day At A Time LONERS "I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude." Henry David Thoreau When I am physically, emotionally or spiritually unfit, I find myself isolating. On the other hand, I also find there are differences between solitude and isolation. Granted, sometimes those differences are subtle; nevertheless, they are different. It only takes abstinence to clearly see the difference and unless one has experienced that state, I doubt if this can really be understood. Isolation shuts us off, not only from other people, but from God Himself. We tuck in our tails and busy ourselves with whatever comes to mind and our sole purpose is to avoid human contact. Isolation is not good. When I am isolating, I feel shame and I risk overeating. While I may not do this consciously, I run a risk of depression. I also feel guilty and the negative thoughts run amok. Solitude is not hiding from others as isolation can be. On the contrary, I can nourish myself by being in solitude. Because I have a creative nature, solitude allows me the freedom to explore and be as creative as God intends for me to be. If I don't allow myself solitude on occasion, I am in essence damming up the gifts God has given me. These gifts need the freedom of solitude to make them materialize and be all they can be. Because I have experienced the disease of compulsive eating and all the manifestations of this disease, I can clearly see the differences between solitude and isolation. I learned that I can be in a crowd of people and still be isolating. I can also be in a crowd of people and be in solitude. If I have spiritually and emotionally shut down, I would be going through the motions but deep down in my soul I would know that I'm isolating. When my spirit is free and I am working the program, one might glance at me and see me drifting off to a room where there is a piano and recapturing a moment of music ... or staring out a window at a view so beautiful that it takes my breath away ... or sipping a cup of coffee and observing those around me but not actively participating in their small talk but wondering who they really are. One day at a time... let me remove myself from the pain of the seclusion of isolation and substitute the wonderful state of solitude that brings me such great joy and peace of mind. ~ Mari ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish. - Pg. 34 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Today we begin the greatest journey of our life. Before we lived to the dictates of that first fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort. Today we begin living to the dictates of spiritual law. It is our most challenging task. This will take everything we have and it will be worth a thousand times more then that. Take my hand God, as I understand You, and lead me in this most important task. Resentment Incoherence The incoherence that results from holding onto resentments and unforgiving attitudes keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It can block you from your next level of quality life experience. Metaphorically, it's the curtain standing between the room you're living in now and a new room, much larger and full of beautiful objects. The act of forgiveness removes the curtain. Clearing up your old accounts can free up so much energy that you jump right into a whole new house. Forgiving releases you from the punishment of a self-made prison where you are both the inmate and the jailer. - Doc Childre and Howard Martin submitted by Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You don't have to eat, breathe, and bathe in our fellowship, but you do need to eat, breathe, and bathe in program. This is because you must practice these principles in all your affairs. The only way to do it in all your affairs is to DO IT in all your affairs. If I'm working my program, I needn't worry about others working theirs. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book In NA, there are no losers--just slow winners. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am open to experience my connection with God and all the people I meet on my path today. There is new joy each time I realize our sameness rather than our separateness. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I was so full of fury and I loathed people but I wanted everybody to like me ...which really creates torque. - Charlie C. |
June 14
Daily Reflections WHEN THE GOING GETS ROUGH It is a design for living that works in rough going. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 15 When I came to A.A., I realized that A.A. worked wonderfully to help keep me sober. But could it work on real life problems, not concerned with drinking? I had my doubts. After being sober for more than two years I got my answer. I lost my job, developed physical problems, my diabetic father lost a leg, and someone I loved left me for another - and all of this happened during a two-week period. Reality crashed in, yet A.A. was there to support, comfort, and strengthen me. The principles I had learned during my early days of sobriety became a mainstay of my life for not only did I come through, but I never stopped being able to help newcomers. A.A. taught me not to be overwhelmed, but rather to accept and understand my life as it unfolded. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A. we have to learn that drink is our greatest enemy. Although we used to think that liquor was our friend, the time came when it turned against us and became our enemy. We don't know just when this happened, but we know that it did because we began to get into trouble - jails and hospitals. We realize now that liquor is our enemy. Is it still my main business to keep sober? Meditation For The Day It is not your circumstances that need altering so much as yourself. After you have changed, conditions will naturally change. Spare no effort to become all that God would have you become. Follow every good leading of your conscience. Take each day with no backward look. Face the day's problems with God, and seek God's help and guidance as to what you should do in every situation that may arise. Never look back. Never leave until tomorrow the thing that you are guided to do today. Prayer For The Day I pray that God will help me to become all that He would have me be. I pray that I may face today's problem as with good grace. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "Success" in Twelfth-Stepping, p. 165 "We now see that in twelfth-stepping the immediate results are not so important. Some people start out working with others and have immediate success. They are likely to get cocky. Those of us who are not so successful at first get depressed. "As a matter of fact, the successful worker differs from the unsuccessful only in being lucky about his prospects. He simply hits newcomers who are ready and able to stop at once. Given the same prospects, the seemingly unsuccessful person would have produced almost the same results. You have to work on a lot of newcomers before the law of averages commences to assert itself." << << << >> >> >> All true communications must be founded on mutual need. We saw that each sponsor would have to admit humbly his own needs as clearly as those of his prospect. 1. Letter, 1942 2. A.A. Today, p. 10 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places True Satisfaction Contentment True satisfaction never comes from feeding addition. Nothing is ever enough. The only possible outcomes for those who do not seek recovery from their additions will be complete breakdown and untimely death. St. Augustine explained why it’s impossible for humans to find true satisfaction in pursuing pleasure. “Thou hast made us for thyself and our hearts are restless until they repose in thee,” he wrote, with reference to the Divine. As we come to understand that true satisfaction comes from the Spirit, we will, surprisingly, receive more satisfaction from the worldly things we use. We will begin to look upon our possessions for the service they give rather than as things that should make us happy. A new car should give us comfortable satisfactory transportation, but it cannot give us peace and true self-esteem. New clothes can please us, but they will not do anything for our spiritual depression. Why didn't we know this all along? Probably because we falsely believed that certain possessions would bring fulfillment. They can't do that, but when we are thinking right, our appreciation of everything should increase. I'll not expect true satisfaction in this world, although I'll get more out of it if I put things in right order. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.---unknown Time always seems to pass too slowly or too quickly for us. .We want the fun times to last longer. We want the boring or painful times to go faster. But times goes at just the right pace. Any faster, and we wouldn't have enough time to learn as we go. Any slower, and we'd lose interest. In our program, we learn to respect the pace of time. We let go, and we let time go at it's own pace. We call this patience. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for patience. Help me look forward to the future without rushing. Help me live fully in the here and now. Help me make today a good one by doing Your will. Action for the Day: I'll list five ways I can use time to be more healthy---in body, mind and spirit. Which of these five things can I do today? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning All of us have unique talents and gifts. No obstacle, be it physical, mental or emotional, has the power to destroy our innate creative energies. --Liane Cordes Believing this fully is difficult at times; for some of us, most of the time. But it is true. What each of us can contribute to the world is unlike every other contribution. Each talent is slightly different from every other talent. And they are all needed. We are all needed. Creativity--any kind--writing, photography, cooking, child care, weaving, managing, woodworking--nourishes the self that feels isolated and worthless. And as the self is nourished, it grows; it recovers. Recovery means changing our lifestyle. It means reaching out to others and being there for one another. It means rejoining the human race by giving of ourselves. Our talents are the gifts the human race awaits, needs, in fact. Do we know our talents? I will search out my secret dreams today. In them lie my talents. I will develop them. Help awaits me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS What usually happens? The show doesn’t come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony? p. 61 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. After that I drank what I could, when I could, where I could. Not much, not often, not as a ten-year-old. At that First Step table we figured out, or they did anyhow, that that was alcoholic drinking--having one and going back for a second right away. I know now I never had just one drink, ever. p. 402 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." "I was soon sitting beside a big hulk of a man. Decidedly unfriendly, he stared at me out of eyes which were slits in his red and swollen face. I had to agree with the doctor - he certainly didn't look good. But I told him my own story. I explained what a wonderful Fellowship we had, how well we understood each other. I bore down hard on the hopelessness of the drunk's dilemma. I insisted that few drunks could ever get well on their own steam, but that in our groups we could do together what we could not do separately. He interrupted to scoff at this and asserted he'd fix his wife, his partner, and his alcoholism by himself. Sarcastically he asked, `How much does your scheme cost?' "I was thankful I could tell him, `Nothing at all.' p. 152 ************************************************** ********* The memories of tomorrow depend on your attitude today. --Dave Weinbaum "Make sure the thing you're living for is worth dying for." --Charles Mayes "I have a special purpose!" --Steve Martin "When we become aware of our humility, we've lost it." --Anonymous We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. --Joseph Campbell Injure others, injure yourself. --Chinese Proverb "I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do." --Helen Keller "I've never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn't appreciate the grind, the discipline... I firmly believe that any man's finest hour - this greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear – is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle, victorious." --Vince Lombardi *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation LIFE "To be free is to have achieved your life." --Tennessee Williams Yesterday's tapes: I need a drink. I can't exist without a fix. How will I get through the morning without taking something? Do people see me shake? Are people watching me? Where can I get money? The prison of addiction! Today I am free because I took courage and asked for help. Today I am free because I still ask for help. Today I have learned to say "no" to the first drink and life is more comfortable and less painful. Freedom is a precious spiritual gift that I work for on a daily basis. God is involved - but so am I. The freedom from alcoholism is only guaranteed by the creative choices I make and in the choice is the freedom. God, my memory is the key to today's freedom; may I continue to remember. ************************************************** ********* "Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your inquiry, who heals all your diseases." Psalm 103:1-3 "For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 "I will praise You, O LORD, among the peoples, And I will sing praises to You among the nations." Psalms 108:3 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To be successful in the projects you undertake today, you must believe in yourself and your abilities even if you are walking on new ground. Lord, guide me in my endeavors and open my mind to new solutions if things aren't going as I have planned. The smallest kindness is worth more than the greatest intention. Lord, help me not to overlook the opportunities that I have to enrich the lives of others or think I am too busy to reach out with a word or even a smile. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Maintaining Our Faith "If we maintain our spiritual condition daily, we find it easier to deal with the pain and confusion." Basic Text, p. 92 When we first began searching for a Power greater than ourselves, many of us got stuck in old beliefs or ideas. These ranged from the fear of a punishing or vengeful God to no belief at all. Some of us felt we had done such terrible things that a loving Power would never have anything to do with us. Others were convinced that the "bad" things that happened to us would not have occurred if a loving Power had actually existed. It took time, effort, open-mindedness, and faith to acquire a working belief in a loving Higher Power that would guide us through life's challenges. Even after we come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, our old ideas can come back to haunt us. Major setbacks in our lives and the insecurity such events can trigger may give rise to the return of our old, inadequate ideas about God. When this happens, we need to assure ourselves that our Higher Power has not abandoned us but is waiting to help us make it through the hard times in our recovery. No matter how painful our loss may be, we will survive our setback and continue to grow if we maintain the faith our program has given us. Just for today: I have worked hard to build my faith in a loving, caring Higher Power that will guide me through life's challenges. Today, I will trust that Power. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. --J. H. Newman Our fears lock us up if we let them. They can prevent us from tasting adventure, from experiencing new wonders. We are often terrified of unknowns and fret about what might happen if we try something new. We worry if new people will like us--if we'll fit in. It is natural to be cautious about the unknown, and anything new is just that. But we can keep our caution from becoming fear by taking action, with the faith that we never encounter anything we can't handle in some way. Unknowns are merely joys we haven't met. We hold the keys to our own cages and can free ourselves when we use our courage and inner strength to overcome our fears. What new joy can I discover beneath my fear today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. --Max Lerner When we consider all of the troubles and crises in our lives and all of the scrapes we've gotten into, we might feel overwhelmed. With what we have gone through, it seems miraculous for many of us to be here today. When we stop feeling sorry for ourselves and when we stop complaining about the unfairness of it all, we may get a new insight: "I have survived!" We see the strength and persistence, which brought us through the toughest times we have known. Even when some of us did not know it, we were being carried along by our Higher Power. We can draw strength from that knowledge. We can remind ourselves today that, knowing what we have lived through with the help of our Higher Power, we can deal with anything to come. I am grateful to my Higher Power for help in surviving the hard times in life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. All of us have unique talents and gifts. No obstacle, be it physical, mental or emotional, has the power to destroy our innate creative energies. --Liane Cordes Believing this fully is difficult at times; for some of us, most of the time. But it is true. What each of us can contribute to the world is unlike every other contribution. Each talent is slightly different from every other talent. And they are all needed. We are all needed. Creativity--any kind--writing, photography, cooking, child care, weaving, managing, woodworking--nourishes the self that feels isolated and worthless. And as the self is nourished, it grows; it recovers. Recovery means changing our lifestyle. It means reaching out to others and being there for one another. It means rejoining the human race by giving of ourselves. Our talents are the gifts the human race awaits, needs, in fact. Do we know our talents? I will search out my secret dreams today. In them lie my talents. I will develop them. Help awaits me. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of Timing When the time is right, child. When the time is right. How often have we heard those words - from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power? We want things so badly - that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change. So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously, wondering all the while: When will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then? We try to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don't hold the answers. The answers come from God. If we listen closely, we'll hear them. When the time is right, child. When the time is right. Be happy now. Today, I will relax. I am being prepared. I can let go of timing. I can stop manipulating outcomes. Good things will happen when the time is right, and they will happen naturally. Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Learn the Power of Respect I watched as my journey unfolded this spring. Each place I visited gave me a lesson. People would show up at the right time and place with exactly the words I needed to hear. Sometimes the lesson would be announced loudly, clearly. Sometimes an awareness would surface softly when I least expected it, when I was beginning to wonder if any lesson or purpose was there at all. Everything I saw and experienced ultimately reinforced my trust in God, the universe, and the power of my heart to lead me on. After all, I had taken this trip on just a moment’s notice with no itinerary, and a magical adventure had unfolded. By the time the journey ended and I pulled into the driveway at home, I had learned more than just to trust the process, I had learned to respect it. Do more than trust the process, the journey you’re on. Become so awestruck by it that you respect it,too. Respect your feelings and the timely manner in which they surface, heal, and lead you into new discoveries. Respect your experiences, the places you’ve been, the scenarios you’ve been through. Respect the way you’ve gained gold and jewels, the treasures of the soul, from each one. Respect the darker moments, the more difficult times when you’re uncertain and don’t know what to do next. Respect the timing as your life and journey unfolds. Don’t murmur about why such and such has to be the way it is. Don’t limit how your growth can happen. Learn to respect the path of others. Learn to respect your own. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Your attitude is contagious “I like skydiving with Todd,” Pat said. “He’s got such a good attitude. When you’re in the air with him, no matter what happens, you just get the feeling that everything’s okay.” Being relaxed is contagious. Just as someone who’s miserable, frightened, and negative can affect the people around him or her, being relaxed, clear, and humbly confident can affect the people we touch,too. Have you ever known anyone like that– someone with a sense of humor, someone who’s surrendered, full of joy, and at peace with himself or herself? This is someone who not only knows things are going to be okay– that person knows things are okay now. Today, if you are going to spread anything, let it be joy and goodwill. God, help me lighten up. Make my joy contagious. Activity: Today, watch yourself as you go through your day. If you were a neutral observer of yourself, how would you describe yourself? What words would you use? Which words would you like to use to describe yourself? Watch your interactions with other people– people you know and strangers, such as clerks in stores and banks. Don’t judge yourself, just observe. Awareness is the key. Become aware of who you are, how you respond to other people, and how they react to you. Decide what attitude you’d like to share with the people in your world. ************************************************** In God’s Care The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. ~~John Berry In time we’ve come to understand that we are only responsible for ourselves. Many of us have had to rediscover this many times. How often we’ve fooled ourselves into thinking that we know what’s best for others, better even than they know for themselves. Perhaps the most meaningful lesson any of us has learned is that every person’s perspective has value and validity for that person. When we withdrow our opinions as to who people should be, we loosen our grasp and give ourselves the opportunity to know people for who they are. We are then free to truly know ourselves and share what we learn with others. Holding tightly to the past – the known – can shut us off from God’s invitations to grow. Our openness to the unfamiliar, whether ideas or people or new opportunities, will enrich us imeasurably. I will loosen my grip today and enjoy people for who they are. I will regard all that is new and unfamiliar as God’s invitations to grow. ******************************************** Providing Support Fathers by Madisyn Taylor In a time when the sacred feminine is being honored strongly, let's not forget fathers. The idea of fatherhood is both personal and universal. We all have ideal concepts surrounding fatherhood, and we also have our real fathers—fathers who were there or not there for us, fathers who provided financial support for our families or failed to do so, fathers who loved or neglected us, fathers who were our role models or gave us someone to rebel against. Our father may have been there for us sometimes and not there for us at other times. The process of reconciling the ideal father that resides in our minds with the father that we actually have is a fertile one that can teach us a great deal about ourselves. Our relationship with our father will often affect our relationships with the other men who will come into our lives. You may have learned to behave and think in certain ways because those were the ways that your father acted and thought. Certain talents that you possess may have been passed down to you by your father. There also may be personal issues that you inherited by virtue of who your father is. Understanding how your relationship with your father has influenced you can help you better understand yourself and the life that you have created. In a time when mothers, the sacred feminine, and female energy are being honored, it is important not to forget the importance of fathers. Father energy and mother energy are the two complementary energies necessary to bring a healthy human being to fruition in the world. Many of the ideas surrounding fathers are changing in the wake of more modern parenting styles and the more egalitarian roles that are evolving between the sexes. More men are embodying the mother energy these days, and a woman can provide father energy for her children. Either way, we can all benefit from thinking about our fathers and how they have influenced who we’ve become and the ways that we walk through this world. Let us remember to honor our fathers. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Refection For The Day Somewhere along the lines as we become more involved in The Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth-value of honesty and condor. When this happens, on of the first things we’re able to admit is that our past behavior has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we can make this admission — without shame or embarrassment — we find still another dimension of freedom. In my gradual recovery, am I expectant that life will become richer and even more serene? Today I Pray May I know, even as I take that mighty First Step, which may be the first really honest move I have made in a long time, that honesty takes practice. My old, deluded, head-tripping self is as different from the honest self that I must become as night is from day. May I realize that it will take more than just one gray dawn to change me. Today I Will Remember Honesty takes practice. ************************************************** One More Day Do not sit long with a sad friend, When you go to a garden, do you look at the flowers? Spend more time with roses and jasmines. – Jelahuddin Rumi Sometimes we slip over the boundary line of a close friendship. Up to that point, it may have been a real union, a true meeting of the minds. But then we might not only share our thoughts and our problems, but that on each other’s problems as if they were our own. We may become obsessed with finding answers for our friends. Just as we don’t focus on the weeds in our garden, we can’t see only the negative aspects of our friends’ lives. We can be supportive, but we serve our friends and ourselves best when we let them confront their own problems. I will remember that friends can comfort each other, but cannot carry the other’s burdens. ************************************ Food For Thought Positive Addiction Since we seem to have addictive types of personalities, we can make this characteristic work for us, rather than against us. We can develop life-enhancing habits - positive addictions. The OA program is an example of positive addiction. We become habituated to writing down a food plan, attending meetings, making phone calls, and working the program. We replace the negative addiction to compulsive overeating with a positive commitment to abstinence. Other activities, which we perform regularly take on the character of positive habits. Exercise is a healthy routine. Hobbies and creative self-expression can be habitual parts of our daily schedule. Whenever we choose a life-enhancing activity and perform it regularly until it becomes an ingrained habit, we are using our addictive tendency to build ourselves up rather than tear ourselves down. Thank You, Lord, for positive addictions. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PEACE "If you do not find peace in yourself, you will never find it anywhere else." Paula A. Bendry No outside reality can bring me peace. In the past, I tried to find it in many things, including relationships, ownership, and my vocation. But none of these externals brought me real peace. I had the opportunity of having all of them stripped away by a crisis in my life. I had surgery and got an infection that required a long period of recovery and resulted in disability. Many of my relationships ended, my income was reduced drastically, my capacity for ownership was decreased greatly, and I could no longer work. Although it was a painful lesson, it has been good for my spiritual condition. I have been forced to look inside myself and realize that true peace and joy are found within. It is not about externals. Once I realized that, I found a relationship with my Higher Power that was deeper and more intimate than before, and the peace in my life settled inside of me in even greater measure. One day at a time... I will look inwardly for the peace that I long for. ~ Carolyn H. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. - Pgs. 31-32 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We've heard people say, 'Be humble and you will not stumble.' There's more truth in this then its simplicity implies. May the God of my understanding enable me to be humble without being humiliated. Ego Death When I begin to experience real love, I go through an ego death. On my road to spiritual freedom, which is nothing more than learning to love, I go through what has long been called a dark night of the soul. This is a death of the ego, not in the Freudian sense, but in the way ego is defined in Eastern philosophy. I have a small 'I' and a large 'I.' Part of my path toward expansion into my larger external self, which is of God and Love, is a death of my smaller self, which sees the world as here only to feed my needs. Really it is through the recognition of giving and receiving and of loving that we become full. I allow and understand my ego death. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote This too shall pass. Sometimes it passes like a gentle breeze and sometimes it passes kinda like a kidney stone. Whichever, we can promise that whatever vexes you now, shall pass. I give time, time because I know that when God made time, He/She made plenty of it. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If resentment is not relinquished entirely, it is not relinquished at all. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am open to experience my connection to God and all the people i meet on my path today. There is new joy each time I realize our sameness rather than our separateness. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Detach = Don't Even Try To Change Him/Her. - Anon. |
June 15
Daily Reflections MAKING A. A. YOUR HIGHER POWER ". . . . . You can . . . make A. A. itself your 'higher power.' Here's a very large group of people who have solved their alcohol problem. . . . .many members . . . . have crossed the threshold just this way. . . . .their faith broadened and deepened. . . . transformed, they came to believe in a Higher Power. . . . ." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 27-28 No one was greater than I, at least in my eyes, when I was drinking. Nevertheless, I couldn't smile at myself in the mirror, so I came to A.A. where, with others, I heard talk of a Higher Power. I couldn't accept the concept of a Higher Power because I believed God was cruel and unloving. In desperation I chose a table, a tree, then my A.A. group, as my Higher Power. Time passed, my life improved, and I began to wonder about this Higher Power. Gradually, with patience, humility and a lot of questions, I came to believe in God. Now my relationship with my Higher Power gives me the strength to live a happy, sober life. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A. we have three things: fellowship, faith, and service. Fellowship is wonderful, but its wonder lasts just so long. Then some gossip, disillusionment, and boredom may come in. Worry and fear come back at times and we find that fellowship is not the whole story. Then we need faith. When we're alone, with nobody to pat us on the back, we must turn to God for help. Can I say "Thy will be done" - and mean it? Meditation For The Day There is beauty in a God-guided life. There is wonder in the feeling of being led by God. Try to realize God's bounty and goodness more and more. God is planning for you. Wonderful are His ways - they are beyond your knowledge. But God's leading will enter your consciousness more and more and bring you ever more peace and joy. Your life is being planned and blessed by God. You may count all material things as losses if they prevent your winning your way to the consciousness of God's guidance. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may earn the rewards of God's power and peace. I pray that I may develop the feeling of being led by God. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Fear No Evil, p. 166 Though we of A.A. find ourselves living in a world characterized by destructive fears as never before in history, we see great areas of faith, and tremendous aspirations toward justice and brotherhood. Yet no prophet can presume to say whether the world outcome will be blazing destruction or the beginning, under God's intention, of the brightest era yet known to mankind. I am sure we A.A.'s will comprehend this scene. In microcosm, we have experienced this identical state of terrifying uncertainty, each in his own life. In no sense pridefully, we can say that we do not fear the world outcome, whichever course it may take. This is because we have been established to deeply feel and say, "We shall fear no evil--Thy will, not ours, be done." Grapevine, January 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Keeping Sobriety Rolling Continuing to Follow A child learning to ride a bicycle discovers that it only takes gentle pedaling to keep the bike in motion. The more difficult task was getting on the bike and maintaining a straight course in the right direction. Staying sober in AA seems to be the same kind of thing. It may take a lot of effort and self-honesty to establish sobriety, but a routine of simple steps can keep it going on a daily basis. For most people, daily meditations and regular attendance at meetings are enough to maintain a straight course in the right direction. The danger comes when people become too lazy or careless to take even these simple steps. Then, like a bike losing forward momentum, they can wobble and fall. Even at the point of wobbling, one can get a bike up to speed again and gain stability. This is something to remember if we find our own sobriety becoming wobbly. Nothing can be so important today that it keeps me from doing the simple things needed for continuous sobriety. I'll remember the bike. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple He who laughs, last.---Mary Pettibone Poole It feels good to laugh again! Our disease took away our sense of humor. Recovery gives it back. That's why there's so much laughter at our meetings. By seeing the funny side of things, we ease up. A person in treatment was talking about the Higher Power he had come to believe in. The counselor asked, “Does God have a sense of humor?" The group had fun talking about this idea for a while. The next day, the counselor came to work and found a note on her door. It read: “Of course God has a sense of humor. He made you, didn't He? Laughter helps us heal. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me ease up today. Let me see the funny side of things. Action for the Day: I'll let myself laugh today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning For many years I was so flexible I didn't know who I was, and now that I'm discovering who I am, I think "OK, I know where I stand on that issue. Now on to the next one." But I have to remind myself that all issues are interrelated--no one is separate. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Today flows from yesterday, the day before, the day before that. Tomorrow repeats the pattern. What we are given on any one day will have its beginning in the past and its finale in the future. No incident is isolated entirely; no issue is self-contained. Maturity is being able to let go of outgrown attitudes, stifling opinions, no matter how good and right they were at one time. Our egos often get too attached to some of our opinions, and new ideas can't filter in. Some will try to get our attention today. We are ready for new growth. The choice not to hamper it is ours to make. The opinions we held certain yesterday may not be adequate to the problems of today. They need not be. They served us well. They are not for naught. Today's issues need today's fresh responses. I will be unafraid. Today flows from yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. Tomorrow follows suit. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Our actor is self-centered- -ego-centric, as people like to call it nowadays. He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all would be Utopia if the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? pp. 61-62 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. One night they were talking about how much they drank, and one guy said he had so many beers, the next guy talked about shots, one about mixed drinks I never heard of, another about so many pints, and on it went around the table. When my turn came, I said I didn't know. "Wow, that much," they said. "No," I said. I meant I didn't no the amount. I drank mostly at home and poured some in a tall glass and drank that and did it several times. "Well, how many times did you refill?" "I don't know." Somebody asked it another way. He wanted to know, how many did I buy? "Well," I said, "I stopped in the package store every day and bought one." "Oh," he said. "How many did you have left at the end of the week?" Well, he had me there. "None," I said. He said, "a bottle-a-day man." I never got to say another word--it was settled over my objections. p. 402-403 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." "His next question: `What are you getting out of it?' "Of course, my answer was `My own sobriety and a mighty happy life.' "Still dubious, he demanded, `Do you really mean the only reason you are here is to try and help me and to help yourself?' "`Yes,' I said. `That's absolutely all there is to it. There's no angle.' p. 152 ************************************************** ********* Adventure is not outside a man. It is within. --David Grayson "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." --William Arthur Ward "When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade." --Dale Carnegie Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. --Marcus Aurelius Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." --Groucho Marx *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation FEAR "Nothing is so much to be feared as fear. " --Henry David Thoreau Fear is a killer. It stops the God-given spirituality in our lives from taking shape and making life enjoyable. Fear is connected with doubt - doubt of self. Low self-esteem develops along with fear and in order for confidence to develop, the fear must be faced, confronted and talked about. Fear is not going to go away because we wish it away or hope it sway or even pray it away. Fear needs to be identified, located and seen for what it is - or, as in most cases, what it isn't. Fear of people, things, tomorrow or life itself grows so long as we forge that we are creatures of God. There is nothing that cannot be faced or overcome - as long as we remain drug-free. God is on our side - but we need also to be on our side. Fear is never stronger than our spirituality. We need to bring our fear into the light; then it can be overcome. I ask to stay in the light of sobriety, not the darkness of alcoholism. ************************************************** ********* "The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy." Psalms 145:8 "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." I Peter 2:24 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Ask yourself if what you are spending your thoughts and energy on will matter in a week, a month, or a year. Lord, help me select my priorities wisely and use my time in ways that will make my life and those around me better and happier. The more cheer you give, the more that remains. Lord, may I show my love for You through a happy face and may my presence be a joyful experience to all that I encounter. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Resistance To Change "Many of us cling to our fears, doubts, self-loathing, or hatred because there is a certain distorted security in familiar pain. It seems safer to embrace what we know than to let go of it for the unknown." Basic Text, p.33 We have often heard it said that "when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of changing, we will change" Our fear can keep us from growing, afraid to end relationships, change careers, attend new meetings, begin new friendships, or attempt anything out of the ordinary. We stay in situations that are no longer working far longer than we have to simply because what is familiar feels safer than the unknown. Any change involves overcoming fear. "What if I'm alone forever?" we might think if we consider leaving our lover. "What if I find out I'm incompetent?" we may wonder when we contemplate changing careers. We may balk at attending new meetings because we will have to reach out. Our minds manufacture a hundred excuses for remaining right where we are, afraid to try something new. We find that most of our pain comes not from change but from resistance to change. In NA, we learn that change is how we move forward in our lives. New friends, new relationships, new interests and challenges will replace the old. With these new things in our lives, we find new joys and loves. Just for today: I will release the old, embrace the new, and grow. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Bad moments, like good ones, tend to be grouped together. --Edna O'Brien Once in a while, we have days when we think the whole world is against us. A parent has reprimanded us, a brother broke our new game, or the teacher at school disciplined the whole class. We sometimes let our thoughts center on a cluster of bad moments and forget the good moments of the day. We shouldn't forget about the two ducks we fed part of our sandwich to, the friend who made us laugh, or the gym teacher who praised the whole class. Deciding to think about these good moments can allow our spirits to rise and make the bad moments fade away. After all, if life were all good moments, we would take them for granted. Let us accept the bad ones gratefully, then, as opportunities to appreciate the good. What good moments can I remember right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A father is a thousand schoolmasters. --Louis Nizer We carry our fathers within us in ways we may not notice. When we do notice this in our thoughts and actions, we can use this relationship as a source of strength. When we hear a critical mental message saying we didn't perform well enough, is it a father's voice? When we feel a sense of strength and peace, are we in touch with our childhood knowledge of fatherly love? When we doubt our ability to get along with any woman, are we relying on what we learned in our childhood homes? Perhaps we can recast our father-son relationship in adult terms. Were our fathers too removed from our lives for us to know them? Maybe we can see now that a father's love was there but was overshadowed by the demands of survival or by a misguided life. If we are forever seeking our fathers' approval, we may need to find the ways in which they are truly human and imperfect like us. Making peace with them - whether face to face or in the memory of a relationship - empowers us with their strengths and grants us the adulthood we deserve. I will make peace with my father in my mind, and his strength and that of his father will be a well-spring, in my life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. For many years I was so flexible I didn't know who I was, and now that I'm discovering who I am, I think "OK, I know where I stand on that issue. Now on to the next one." But I have to remind myself that all issues are interrelated--no one is separate. --Kathleen Casey Theisen Today flows from yesterday, the day before, the day before that. Tomorrow repeats the pattern. What we are given on any one day will have its beginning in the past and its finale in the future. No incident is isolated entirely; no issue is self-contained. Maturity is being able to let go of outgrown attitudes, stifling opinions, no matter how good and right they were at one time. Our egos often get too attached to some of our opinions, and new ideas can't filter in. Some will try to get our attention today. We are ready for new growth. The choice not to hamper it is ours to make. The opinions we held certain yesterday may not be adequate to the problems of today. They need not be. They served us well. They are not for naught. Today's issues need today's fresh responses. I will be unafraid. Today flows from yesterday, the day before, and the day before that. Tomorrow follows suit. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Competition Between Martyrs "Yes, I know your spouse is an alcoholic, but my son is an alcoholic, and that's different. That's worse!" My pain is greater than yours! What an easy trap that can be for us. We are out to show others how victimized we have been, how much we hurt, how unfair life is, and what a tremendous martyr we are. And we won't be happy until we do! We don't need to prove our pain and suffering to anyone. We know we have been in pain. We know we have suffered. Most of us have been legitimately victimized. Many of us have had difficult, painful lessons to learn. The goal in recovery is not to show others how much we hurt or have hurt. The goal is to stop our pain, and to share that solution with others. If someone begins trying to prove to us how much he or she hurts, we can say simply, "It sounds like you've been hurt." Maybe all that person is looking for is validation of his or her pain. If we find ourselves trying to prove to someone how much we've been hurt or if we try to top someone else's pain, we may want to stop and figure out what's going on. Do we need to recognize how much we've hurt or are hurting? There is no particular award or reward for suffering, as many of us tricked ourselves into believing in the height of our codependency. The reward is learning to stop the pain and move into joy, peace, and fulfillment. That is the gift of recovery, and it is equally available to each of us, even if our pain was greater, or less, than someone else's. God, help me be grateful for all my lessons, even the ones that caused me the most pain and suffering. Help me learn what I need to learn, so I can stop the pain in my life. Help me focus on the goal of recovery, rather than the pain that motivated me into it. It is exciting to know I am in charge of my life today. God gives me all the faith and courage I need to be present and aware in each moment and the wisdom to see what needs to be done. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart It’s Okay to Not Know Sometimes we don’t know what we want, what’s next, or what we think our lives will look like down the road. That’s okay. If the answer is I don’t know, then say it. Say it clearly. And be at peace with not knowing. Sometimes the reason we don’t know is that what’s coming is going to be very different from anything we’ve experienced before. Even if we knew, we couldn’t relax to it because it’s that new and that different. It’s a surprise. Sometimes the reason we don’t know is that it would be too difficult, too confusing for us right now. It would take us out of the present moment, cause us to worry and fuss about how we could control it or what we have to do to make it happen. Knowing would make us afraid. Put us on overload. Take us away from now. Sometimes our souls know, but it’s just not time for our conscious minds to know yet. Sometimes knowing would take us out of the very experience we need to go through to discover the answer we’re looking for. And sometimes the process of learning to trust, the process of going through an experience and coming to trust that we will ultimately discover our own truth, is more important than knowing. The process of moving from what we don’t know to what we are to learn is a process that can be trusted. It’s how we grow and change. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to let ourselves move into knowing. The lesson is trusting that we’ll know when it’s time. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Live in harmony When I began practicing aikido– a martial art based on nonresistance and harmony– I discovered how much resistance I still had. The more I tried to relax and practice, the more resistance I experienced. I lived, moved, breathed, worked, lived, and loved from a place that was not relaxed. My immediate reaction to any feeling I had was, “Oh no. I can’t feel that.” My first reaction to any problem that arose was, “No, this can’t be taking place.” If someone disagreed with me, I responded with an attack or by trying to force my will. And if I had a task to do, I prepared myself by getting tense and afraid. One of the biggest challenges and biggest rewards we can discover in our lives is to live in harmony with ourselves and the people in our world. We do this by learning to tell oursleves, “Just relax.” From that relaxed place, which some call surrender, we’ll tap into our true power. We’ll know how to deal with our feelings. We’ll be guided into what to do next. God, show me the areas of my life where I’m in resistance. Help me let go and learn to consciously relax as I go through my life. ************************************************** Day By Day Being different Some of us feel so different that we think no person or group could help us or even understand us. We feel alone and isolated. Whatever these differences are they can be lessened by concentrating on the purpose common to us all: we are learning to live a life free of alcohol or other drugs by connecting with a power greater than ourselves. Our Higher Power does not want us to be alone. It would help if we would accept that we are all more alike than defferent. It would help if we could recognize the love that is available to us in our brothers and sisters. Are we looking for what we have in common, or are we looking for ways to be alone and different? Do I realize that our common purpose can outweigh all differences? Higher Power help me feel connected by looking for what I share with my fellow members. Today I will overlook all differences or look for what we share in… **************************************** In God’s Care There is nothing the body suffers the soul may not profit by. ~~George Meredith Adversity comes in many forms, and it is sure to come to everyone. This might seem unfair to those of us who are recovering and trying to live our faith. But it helps us to know there is some benefit in everything we experience. God’s help is always available to us, but sometimes it seems we seek God’s help only when we are in physical or emotional pain. When we were in the grips of our addictions, we thought nothing good could come from the suffering. Yet, it is common to hear our friends in the program say how grateful they are for the experience because it brought them to where they are now. God always shows us the way out of adversity and makes it an occasion for growth – if we are willing to listen to God. Adversity that comes my way can be an opportunity to learn. ****************************************** Giving Away Power Repressing the Inner Voice by Madisyn Taylor We can avoid giving away our power on a daily basis by listening to our own voice of knowing. In many ways, we are taught from the time we are children to give away our power to others. When we were told to kiss and hug relatives or friends of the family when we didn’t want to, for example, we were learning to override our inner sense of knowing and our right to determine for ourselves what we want to do. This repression continued, most likely, in many experiences at school and in situations at work. At this point, we may not even know how to hold on to our power, because giving it away is so automatic and ingrained. To some degree, giving our energy to other people is simply part of the social contract, and we feel that we have to do it in order to survive. It is possible to exchange energy in a way that preserves our inner integrity and stability. This begins in a small way: by listening to the voice that continues to let us know what we want, no matter how many times we override its messages. Other examples of how we give away our power are buying into trends, letting other people always make decisions for us, not voting, and not voicing an opinion when an inappropriate joke is made. But with not giving our power away we must also be aware of the opposite side, which is standing in our power but being aggressive. Being aggressive is a form of fear, and the remedy is to let our inner balance come back into play. As we build a relationship with our power, and follow it, we begin to see that we don’t always have to do what we’re being asked to do by others, and we don’t have to jump on every trend. All we have to do is have the confidence to listen to our own voice and let it guide us as we make our own decisions in life and remember the necessity for balance. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Learning how to live in peace, partnership and brotherhood — with all men and women — is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each of us in The Program has found that we’re not able to make much headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to make an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage we’ve left in our wake. Have I made a list of all persons I have harmed, as Step Eight suggests, and become willing to make amends to them all? Today I Pray May God give me the honesty I need, not only to look inside myself and discover what is really there, but to see the ways that my sick and irresponsible behavior has affected those around me. May I understand that my addiction is not — as I used to think — a loner’s disease, that, no matter how alone I felt, my lies and fabrications spread our around me in widening circles of hurt. Today I Will Remember Lies spread to infinity. ************************************************** One More Day Not the power to remember, but the power to forget is a necessary condition for our existence. – Sholem Asch To live happily in a relationship we can not repeatedly dredge up the past, using it as a brickbat to pound another human being into submission. Yet we all have a tendency to do just that. “I told you so,” and “You should have listened when I gave you advice,” and “You were wrong” are phrases we may catch ourselves uttering. We can learn to give up that final piece of control, that part which attempts to manipulate another human being with guilt. We can’t change another human being. Our willingness to forgive errors, large and small, will mark our own personal growth. Forgiveness is in our own self-interest; we aren’t free until we forgive. Today, I will let go of one grudge. As I grow in understanding, I will grow in forgiveness. ************************************ Food For Thought Our Barometer When we find ourselves preoccupied with thoughts of food, we know that something is wrong. Our obsession acts as a barometer, which measures emotional pressure. If we are out of tune with our Higher Power, if doubt, resentment, and egotism are taking over, then our disease symptoms begin to surface. It is time to stop and take inventory. The experiences, which other compulsive overeaters share with us, give insight into our own behavior. We gain a sharper awareness of our own defects and are less prone to blame external circumstances for our hurts and difficulties. If we are becoming obsessed with food again, or if we are rationalizing deviations from our eating plan, we need to carefully examine our emotional and spiritual life. Something is out of gear. Concentration on Steps Ten and Eleven is especially important when compulsive thoughts and behavior indicate that all is not well. Make me sensitive to the state of my emotional and spiritual health, I pray. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PERFECTIONISM "The wise man, the true friend the finished character we seek everywhere and only find in fragments." Ralph Waldo Emerson Like a spider, perfectionism builds its web through every fiber of my life. My perfectionism leads me to a host of other character defects. When I expect people to be perfect, I can be plagued with self-absorption. When I think of myself as "better than them," I practice being judgmental towards others ~ especially when I see behaviors that I'd never do. It also leads to my defects of self-criticism and self-loathing. I begin to hate myself for all the things that I can't do perfectly. I'm afraid to try things for fear of not doing them perfectly and looking like a failure. Perfectionism leads me to procrastination and sometimes paralysis. This obsession for my wanting something to be just right -- or put in just the right place -- causes all sorts of feelings that can overwhelm me. Mostly it's a fear of what another might think of me if I owned this thing or put it in that illogical place. I learned as a child that being perfect meant that I was validated as a human; therefore my perfectionism is hard for me to be willing to let God remove. One day at a time... I will become willing to let God remove my defect of perfectionism. I will forgive myself and others for not being perfect. I will focus on a person's best moment instead of zeroing in on a person's defects. ~ Pam ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Drinking isolates most homes from the outside world. - Pg. 131 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Whether we choose a treatment facility, are in a lock up ward, or are using a 12th step program to begin recovery, we are embarking on the most challenging, but rewarding, journey of our lives. May I recognize that whatever doubts I have now, will dissolve as I work my way toward recovery. The Mystery Today, I accept that part of myself that will never be satisfied, and I comfort and tame it. There is a place in me that knows it will never necessarily solve the eternal questions of life: Who am I and where do I come from, and where do I go when I die? At times, I can get depressed about that and feel that there's no real point to life. But I am beginning to feel that to accept and love this side of myself is what also gives life beauty and meaning. Perhaps meaning is not knowing and understanding, but an acceptance of mystery, an embracing of the unknown. After all, it is that mystery that gives even the most ordinary circumstance an eternal sort of glow - a sense of depth, a feeling that there is more. I accept that I will never fully understand - I embrace the mystery. - Tian Dayton Phd 'The soul is restless and furious; it wants to tear itself apart and cure itself of being human.'- Ugo Betti Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote In the ups and downs of life, remember that the most productive ups and downs are getting up for a meeting and down to the steps. When I'm down, I take a Step and then the Step takes me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you come here and are done using, you can't work the program bad enough; if you're not done using, you can't work the program good enough. Time for Joy - Book - Quote It is exciting to know I am in charge of my life today. God gives me all the faith and courage I need to be present and aware in each moment and the wisdom to see what needs to be done. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'd call him up and say; Norm, my program ain't working.' He'd say, 'Yea, why don't you try ours.' - Johnny H. |
June 16
Daily Reflections OPEN-MINDEDNESS We have found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 7 Open-mindedness to concepts of a Higher Power can open doors to the spirit. Often I find the human spirit in various dogmas and faiths. I can be spiritual in the sharing of myself. The sharing of self joins me to the human race and brings me closer to God, as I understand Him. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day But even faith is not the whole story. There must be service. We must give this thing away if we want to keep it. The Dead Sea has no outlet and it is stagnant and full of salt. The Sea of Galilee is clear and clean and blue, as the Jordan River carries it out to irrigate the desert. To be of service to other people makes our lives worth living. Does service to others give me a real purpose in life? Meditation For The Day Seek God early in the day, before He gets crowded out by life's problems, difficulties, or pleasures. In that early quiet time gain a calm, strong confidence in the goodness and purpose in the universe. Do not seek God only when the world's struggles prove too much and too many for you to bear or face alone. Seek God early, when you can have a consciousness of God's spirit in the world. People often only seek God when their difficulties are too great to be surmounted in any other way, forgetting that if they sought God's companionship before they need it, many of their difficulties would never arise. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not let God be crowded out by the hurly-burly of life. I pray that I may seek God early and often. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Progress Rather than Perfection, p. 167 On studying the Twelve Steps, many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. << << << >> >> >> "We recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them." 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 60 2. Letter, 1946 ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple AA states that resentments is the "number one offender" among our members, that it puts more alcoholics in the graves than any other thing.---Stools and Bottles We can get high on anger. That's why it's dangerous. We get a false sense of power from being angry. Our anger turns into resentments. Resentments turn into hate. Hate eats at our spiritual core. We can get rid of resentments and hate through prayer and helping others. That's why we we're to pray for those who have wronged us, so our hearts don't fill with hate. This why, we use our energy in a healthy way. And our serenity will grow as we see that anger no longer has so much power over our actions. Prayer for the Day Higher Power, help me stop using anger, resentments and hate for control over other people and advents I don't like. Action for the Day I'll list all the people I'm angry at. I'll say a simple prayer for each of them. ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Solving our common problem Recovery Twelve Step programs bring together people who admit certain behaviors that society often views with pity or contempt. Some of these behaviors, such as alcoholism and gambling, are heavily stigmatized. Though we often talk about "our common problem", the thing we have most in common with each other is that we're human beings who share the human condition. No one is really immune from the similar problems that beset us. That's why somebody once remarked, only in half-jest, that "alcoholics are like normal people, only more so." We have to remember that the people around us are no different from us in that they are subject to such feelings as pride, resentment, self-pity, and discouragement. Our common problem is really that we're human beings who need a spiritual life in order to become our true selves. This can turn a problem into a new life if we accept the program. Today I'll look upon all people with understanding and acceptance. Everyone shares the same feelings that drive me, and everyone deserves my warmth and understanding. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Wisdom never kicks at the iron walls it can't bring down. --Olive Schreiner God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times--yesterday, last week, today, and even tomorrow--we'll come face-to-face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation, is great. What a hard lesson it is, to learn we can change only ourselves! The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do, too. Acceptance, after a time, smooths all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will "loosen" love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish. As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this program, we'll stand ready, as women, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help our sisters become wise through our example. My lessons are not easy. But they will ease my way. Better days begin, today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. p. 62 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. I saw the counselor once a week, and I went to this men's meeting once a week, and everything was getting better. Once I saw somebody get a ninety-day pin. I decided not to get one. Even though I couldn't see it from where I was sitting, I wasn't going to wear an A.A. sign. One day somebody got a ninety-day pocket piece that he could rub for luck, and I decided to get one of those. After my three months were up, I went to the literature guy and bought one. He said it would be nice if it was presented to me in front of everybody. I wasn't too keen on getting up in front of everyone. He said it would be good for the newcomers; it would show them that the program worked. So I told him okay and asked the leader of the First Step table to give it to me. They were paying him to run the meeting, or so I thought at the time. (Later, I found out that they were reimbursing him for the snacks.) So the following week I got my pocket piece and thanked everybody for giving me the power over alcohol. Now I was more powerful than alcohol because for the first time in a long time I could choose not to use it. p. 403 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." "Then, hesitantly, I ventured to talk about the spiritual side of our program. What a freeze that drunk gave me! I'd no sooner got the word `spiritual' out of my mouth than he pounced. `Oh!' he said. `Now I get it! You're proselytizing for some **** religious sect or other. Where do you get that "no angle" stuff? I belong to a great church that means everything to me. You've got a nerve to come in here talking religion!" pp. 152-153 ************************************************** ********* "The secret of self-confidence and courage hinges on the kind of thoughts you think. In the long run, your subconscious will send up to you what you send down to it. Take charge of your mind and begin to fill it with healthy thoughts." --Norman Vincent Peale Act on God's will, and you will be led to better things. --SweetyZee Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. --Albert Einstein "Don't talk about what you have done or what you are going to do --do it and let it speak for itself." --Martin Vanbee Thank God For What You Have, TRUST GOD For What You Need. If every man would sweep before his own doors, the city would soon be clean. -- Italian Proverb Those who dance are thought to be quite insane by those who cannot hear music. -- Maggie Erotokritou *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation LEARNING "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young." --Henry Ford My life is exciting today because I am learning and creating so much in recovery. Even things that I thought I understood have a new "ring". Words, ideas, relationships and the awareness of God are forever changing - usually for the better. Sobriety is not boring. It is not stuffy, rigid or restrictive - and discussions (not arguments) within the fellowship of recovering people produces fresh insights. Today I am involved in the life of God. I am creating, healing and forever learning more about the mystery of love. O Teacher of the Universe, let me seek beyond that which I understand. ************************************************** ********* There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Nothing is more important than your own peace of mind and ability to be happy. Lord, help me to remember that I must take care of myself because only then can I care for others. Confront your problems so they don't gather like weights upon your back. Lord, help me to handle my concerns of today and lay them to rest. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Accepting Life "Some things we must accept, others we can change. The wisdom to know the difference comes with growth in our spiritual program." Basic Text, p.92 It's relatively easy to accept the things we like-it's the things we don't like that are hard to accept. But remaking the world and everyone in it to suit our tastes would solve nothing. After all, the idea that the world was to blame for all our problems was the attitude that kept us using-and that attitude nearly killed us. In the course of working the steps, we begin to ask ourselves hard questions about the roles we ourselves have played in creating the unacceptable lives we've lived. In most cases, we've found that what needed changing was our own attitude and our own actions, not the people, places, and things around us. In recovery, we pray for wisdom to know the difference between what can and can't be changed. Then, once we see the truth of our situation, we pray for the willingness to change ourselves. Just for today: Higher Power, grant me the wisdom to know the difference between what can be changed and what I must accept. Please help me gratefully accept the life I've been given. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Being alive is being creative. You need do nothing but affirm your aliveness. --Gay Bonner What does it mean to be alive? Does it mean merely breathing, eating, and moving around, or is there more to it? Being alive can mean different things to different people. To some, it's sewing a baby quilt for a new life about to be born. To others, it's singing, or walking, or running. Still others find it in the exhilaration of skiing, or the tropical splendor they find when scuba diving. Each of us has our own favorite activity that lets us feel our creativity and vitality, that lets us feel a part of the larger world. Two gifts these activities leave us with are joy and energy. Joy is one of the most creative forces we can call on, and energy gives us the power to do it well. What will my creative activity be today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It's not hard. When I'm not hittin', I don't hit nobody. But when I'm hittin', I hit anybody! --Willie Mays It seems like some days everything goes our way. Everything falls together in a way that makes life easier for us. Other days are just the opposite; on a bad day we seem to be all thumbs. In our spiritual practice we know we don't control all that goes on around us. We all are vulnerable to accidents, random misfortune, and illness. Yet, when we don't fight against the events of our lives, somehow things go better for us. We can remember that as difficult as a day may be, we are never alone because nothing can separate us from our Higher Power. When we accept the bad things that come, even though they are unfair, we give them less power in our lives. Then we are free to go forward and leave more room for the good things. Today, I'll accept the problems I must confront and leave room for the good things. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It's a perpetual wound. --Maureen Duffy We live in one another's company. We grow to yearn for one another's company at a deeper level. The yearning reciprocated, opens the way to a love relationship, a relationship both blessed and torn by intimacies. It's human to long for love, to want to shower it and receive it. But the pain of waiting for it doesn't match the pain that accompanies its arrival. Love heightens our sensitivities. Any separations, any discrepancies, physical or emotional, wound the partners in love. The pain that accompanies never having something is less than the pain of projected loss after its arrival. Love should bring only happiness, we mistakenly think. But love, giving it and receiving it, beckons us to bare our souls, to expose our hidden selves. The fear of rejection, the anxiety that we'll be rejected "when they know the real me" is large and looms over our shoulders. How lucky we are to have this program, these Steps, which if practiced in all our affairs will prepare us for love and loving. They will help us to live with the pain of love, knowing that it increases our humanity - that it deepens our awarenesses and thus, heightens our appreciation of all of life. The pain of love increases my rapture. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Feeling Good Having boundaries doesn't complicate life; boundaries simplify life. --Beyond Codependency There is a positive aspect to boundary setting. We learn to listen to ourselves and identify what hurt us and what we don't like. But we also learn to identify what feels good. When we are willing to take some risks and begin actively doing so, we will enhance the quality of our life. What do we like? What feels good? What brings us pleasure? Whose company do we enjoy? What helps us to feel good in the morning? What's a real treat in our life? What are the small, daily activities that make us feel nurtured and cared for? What appeals to our emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical self? What actually feels good to us? We have deprived ourselves to long. There is no need to do that anymore, no need. If it feels good, and the consequences are self-loving and not self defeating, do it! Today, I will do for myself those little things that make life more pleasurable. I will not deny myself healthy treats. Today I choose to see myself well and whole. Today I put all my energy into positive thoughts, knowing that my body is healthy and strong. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Seek Freedom and Equality in Love Are you deferring to someone in your life? When we relinquish control of our lives to someone else, we also relinquish responsibility for our happiness, our well-being, our joy, our growth, and our choices. It’s healthy and normal to want to be nurtured. A partner can make our lives easier, take some of the load off. We are sent helpers, friends, and lovers. The Divine arm of love reaches out through people, through our loved ones, to bring us the support we need. Opening to and receiving that support are essential to well-being, to joy, to happiness. But there’s a difference between receiving help and support and being controlled. There’s a difference between surrendering to love and surrendering to control. Relinquishing control can happen subtly, but its effects are powerful. We begin to believe we’ve lost our freedom. We begin to believe that someone has taken it away. We feel stifled, repressed. Don’t make other people responsible for delineating your boundaries. It’s your job to take responsibility for your choices, your comings, your goings, your well-being, your path. If you feel you’ve relinquished your power, your freedom, take it back. Take responsibility for yourself. You don’t have to defer to anyone. The times of being controlled are past. You can accept nurturing without being manipulated. You can accept love without being controlled. Set yourself free. Love exists only where freedom exists. Create relationships that are equal. There you will find love. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Deal with manipulation A few years ago I was in Jordan on an excursion through the Middle East. I wanted to go to Pakistan, but when I got to the Pakistani embassy in Jordan, an official ordered me to go to the American embassy, miles away, saying, “You have to get a piece of paper from your government vouching for you. That’s the only way the government of Pakistan will even consider your request.” I went to the American embassy in Jordan and stood in line there all day. Finally, when it was my turn, I told the gentleman why I was there. “That’s ridiculous,” he said. “There’s no such thing as an international voucher for people in the United States. That’s what a passport does. It says the American government is vouching for you, declaring you worthy and reliable to travel abroad.” He began to speak more quietly. “He’s just messing with you,” he said, of the government official at the other agency. “Sometimes they like to play games with people, show them how much power they really have.” I went back to the Pakistani embassy. When I returned, there was an elderly Muslim man sitting in the waiting room. He wore a turban. His head was bowed. He was reciting the Koran and rubbing his string of prayer beads. He helped set the tone and reminded me of what I needed to do: calm down, be peaceful, stop resisting, and harmonize with the situation. It didn’t matter if the visa man was wrong and I was right. he had the power. I needed to go to him. I sat quietly waiting for my turn. When I went up to the counter, I deliberately acknowledged his point of view. Then I gently explained that I didn’t get the piece of paper he asked for from the American embassy, because that paper didn’t exist. I explained it was probably the only time in my life. I’d be in this area of the world. I pointed to the poster on the wall. “The Himalayas are so beautiful there,” I said. “If I don’t go now, I don’t know that I ever will. You have the power to say yes or no. And I have no choice but to go along with whatever you say. It’s in your hands.” He told me to go sit down. I did. Five minutes later, he called me back to the stand. “Here,” he said, handing me my passport. “Enjoy your visit in Pakistan.” We have a right to get as mad as we want, but sometimes harmonizing can achieve so much more than yelling in indignation or even fighting back. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you’re being manipulated, let go of your resistance and practice harmony instead. God, teach me the power of moving gently, with humility and respect, through the world. ************************************************** In God’s Care Once you accept the existence of God – however you define Him, however you explain your relationship to Him – then you are caught forever with His presence in the center of all things.~~Moris West Having our Higher Power is an integral part of how we experience all the hours of a day (whether they hold burdens or blessings) heightens our awareness of the fullness of our life. Believing that God exists for us and in us profoundly changes how we see every aspect of our day. The day and our place in the drama that unfolds take on new meaning and purpose. A number of us didn’t believe in God when we joined a Twelve Step program. Or if we did, many of us believed in a demanding or punishing God who had no relevance to our daily life. What a difference it makes to let a loving God take charge of our thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, and plans for the future. Nothing can stir much fear in us when we remember that God is right here, now, always. Today God will be the center of all my activities. *************************************** Day By Day Taking off the masks We’re not much different from other people (except that we couldn’t stop abusing mood-altering chemicals). Like other people, we, too, wear masks. We’re afraid that others will find out who we really are, especially since we no longer hide behind chemicals. But if we work the program, we will get stronger, If we work the program, we won’t need our masks because we will accept ourselves (and others) more. Can I stop wearing my masks? Higher Power, help me work the Steps and to accept myself and my recovery. Today I will practice treating myself well. I will practice being myself with… *************************************** Start with the Heart Checking in with Your Heart Daily Every day we experience a magical twilight between our dreams and waking state. During this brief period of time, our minds still remember that all things are possible. We can smoothly transition into our physical world without losing a sense of hope when we check in with our heart center first, before we even get out of bed. Our heart center is the link between body and spirit, instinct and inspiration. It doesn’t take long to hold a thought of loving gratitude for the heart that beats within us. In a mere moment we can review all that we want to accomplish in the light of love. When we get into the habit of beginning our day from the heart, all of our activities glow with the infusion of conscious intent and all interactions are done with compassion. We can restart our day right now by imagining how love and inspiration feel. As light glows from our heart center, radiating out through our bodies into the space around us, any feelings of stress or frustration seem to melt away. Now, we see each person we encounter as fellow travelers in the journey of life, and every activity becomes part of a spiritual partnership. As conscious participants in the cycle of giving and receiving, we share our light with others as we become enlivened ourselves, with our heart leading the way. In the intersection where our body and soul meet, our physical heart beats in time with the rhythm of the universe. It does the physical work of supplying our body with life force without our attention, but for its spiritual work, we need to be conscious. When we concentrate on its rhythm and glowing light, we remember that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Then we know that we can choose any time to check in with our heart center, and in doing so, experience the joy of being in love with life. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The Ninth Step of The Program is: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” To make restitution for the wrongs we’ve done can be extremely difficult, to say the least; if nothing else, it deflates our egos and batters our pride. Yet that in itself is a reward, and such restitution can bring still greater rewards. When we go to a person and say we’re sorry, the reaction is almost invariably positive. Courage is required, to be sure, but the results more than justify the action. Have I done my best to make all the restitution possible? Today I Pray May I count on my Higher Power to stop me if I start to crawl out from under my Ninth Step responsibility. May I feel that blessed, liberating wash of relief that goes with saying out loud, to someone I have harmed, “I was wrong. I made mistakes. I am honestly sorry.” May I not worry about cracking the brittle, cover-up crust of my ego, because the inside will be more mature. Today I Will Remember Restitution is blessed. ************************************************** One More Day We do not live an equal life, but one of contrasts and patchwork; now a little joy, then a sorrow, now a sin, then a generous or brave action. – Ralph Waldo Emerson As our life experience unfolds, we live some days to the fullest and others in a very minimal way. If we focus too much on the less productive days or if we use them only as substandard comparisons to our best days, we may lose sight of the real value and meaning of the time we’ve been given. A wholesome life, a productive life, a good life — whatever we call it — is not a shimmering length of perfectly woven cloth. It’s more like a patchwork quilt set together by resourceful hands. We cannot choose to discard a bad experience or a poor decision; instead, we piece it into the total colorful work that is life. Today, I will be more aware of how the contrasts of my life create a unique and beautiful pattern. ************************************ Food For Thought Satisfaction Comes from Inside Why do we continually expect to be satisfied by taking in and possessing things from the outside? Amassing material goods and possessions more often than not stimulates rather than satisfies our appetite. What we do and contribute satisfies us more than what we have and consume. When we are at peace within ourselves and in contact with our Higher Power, we make fewer demands on the outside world. When we are able to use our abilities in productive work and can give of our emotional and spiritual strength to other people, we feel replete. Nothing from the outside can bring us happiness if we are at war with ourselves. Chronic dissatisfaction indicates that we have not turned our will and our lives over to God's care, but are still trying to run the show egotistically. Complete surrender opens the way to satisfaction. I want to surrender to the inner needs of my spirit. ***************************************** One Day At A Time MIRROR, MIRROR "Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.” Kahlil Gibran As a child, I often looked in the mirror and wished I were a boy. I thought I was ugly, had a deep voice, and was a disappointment as a girl. Even as a young woman I could never enjoy my appearance. I never saw the truth in the mirror. I would always focus on my “problem areas” and feel devastated that this had happened to my body. I felt totally helpless and wanted to cry; but I didn’t cry ~ I ate instead. Compulsive overeating stripped me of my true self. It made me incapable of seeing the truth, feeling the truth, and perceiving the truth. Since coming to OA the scales have fallen from my eyes. By reading the Big Book, going to meetings, interacting with my sponsor, and working the steps, I have been able to see things as they are. Now I see my true self in the mirror and I can deal with life as it is. I can feel my feelings and know that they are neither right nor wrong and they will pass and change with the wind. This healing has cleared space in my mind and spirit for me to connect with my Higher Power. It has made room for me to grow, to love and care for myself, and to appreciate the body God gave me. When I doubt my perceptions, my feelings, or what I’m seeing in the mirror, I just surrender and remind myself that God has given me new eyes and new tools for living my life. The 12 Steps of OA shine a light into my soul and show me the truth in all areas of my life and recovery. One day at a time... I will look at myself ~ in all areas of my recovery ~ and know that what I am seeing is the truth because the light of OA and the 12 steps are guiding my life today. ~ Karen ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power. If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success. - Pg. 34 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Tomorrow is not a day to worry about. Yes, there are possible adversities, burdens, and fears but the sun will rise without our control and we know not whether it rises in splendor or behind a mask of stormy weather. Therefore, we leave tomorrow to tend itself. Tomorrow is a day I will never meet so I stay focused in this hour and tend to my needs now--not project about unknown needs tomorrow. Anger and Blame Today, I accept my feelings of anger and blame without beating myself up for them. Feelings aren't facts; they are meant to inform me of what is going on inside me. When I constantly judge myself for what I feel, I make my difficult emotions much more complicated, and they last ten times as long. There is nothing inherently wrong with any feelings - so what if I am angry and feel like getting mad? Accepting this allows the feeling to pass through me. Fighting it keeps me tangled up inside with no way out. Judging myself doesn't help anyone, least of all me. Frightening feelings are just frightening feelings. I do not have to overreact to them. My own feelings need not toss me in every direction. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There are many times when crying is the appropriate thing to do. Tears let us know that you need to be supported and consoled. Do not be afraid to cry. Do not be afraid to support others when they cry. Tears are liquid prayers. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book A good listener is not only popular everywhere but after awhile he knows something. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I choose to see myself well and whole. Today I put all my energy into positive thoughts, knowing that my body is healthy and strong. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The world is so full of a number of things, I'm sure we should be as happy as kings. - Robert Louis Stevenson. |
June 17
Daily Reflections "DEEP DOWN WITHIN US" We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. . . . search diligently within yourself . . . With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 55 It was out of the depths of loneliness, depression and despair that I sought the help of A.A. As I recovered and began to face the emptiness and ruin of my life, I began to open myself to the possibility of the healing that recovery offers through the A.A. program. By coming to meetings, staying sober, and taking the Steps, I had the opportunity to listen with increasing attentiveness to the depths of my soul. Daily I waited, in hope and gratitude, for that sure belief and steadfast love I had longed for in my life. In this process, I met my God, as I understand Him. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We in A.A. have the privilege of living two lives in one lifetime. One life of drunkenness, failure, and defeat. Then, through A.A., another life of sobriety, peace of mind, and usefulness. We who have recovered our sobriety are modern miracles. And we're living on borrowed time. Some of us might have been dead long ago. But we have been given another chance to live. Do I owe a debt of gratitude to A.A. that I can never repay as long as I live? Meditation For The Day Thinking about God in love and worship drives away evil. It is the thought before that the hosts of evil flee. The thought of a Power greater than yourself is the call for a life-line to rescue you from temptation. The thought of God banishes loneliness and dispels gloom. It summons help to conquer your faults. Think of God as often as possible. Use the thought prayerfully and purposefully. It will carry your thoughts away from material things and toward the spiritual things that make life worthwhile. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may think of God often. I pray that I may rest in peace at the thought of His love and care. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Accepting God's Gifts, p. 168 "Though many theologians hold that sudden spiritual experiences amount to a special distinction, if not a divine appointment of some sort, I question this view. Every human being, no matter what his attributes for good or evil, is a part of the divine spiritual economy. Therefore, each of us has his place, and I cannot see that God intends to exalt one another. "So it is necessary for all of us to accept whatever positive gifts we receive with a deep humility, always bearing in mind that our negative attitudes were first necessary as a means of reducing us to such a state of that we would be ready for a gift of the positive ones via the conversion experience. Your own alcoholism and the immense deflation that finally resulted are indeed the foundation upon which your spiritual experience rests." Letter, 1964 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Is the Golden Rule Applicable? Inventory Some people say the Golden Rule is impractical or believe it can work only if everybody begins following it at the same time. We learn in 12 Step programs that the Golden Rule does work. We start by taking our own inventory, whether nor not others do. We make amends for our own wrongs, even when amends are not made to us. We think rightly about others, no matter how they think about us. >From time to time, we also receive a cosmic hint that the Golden Rule is far more than a mere human ideal expressed in an ancient time. It really appears to be one way of stating a law of life. We should treat others as we want to be treated because, in time, this is how we will be treated. Nothing will help me more with my program today than to practice the Golden Rule, even in the face of trying situations. This will show me, more than word ever can, that God is really in charge of my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Each day provides its own gifts. ---Ruth D. Freedman Life is full of wonderful gifts. Recovery is life's greatest gift to us. If we're not excited about being sober, we need to check ourselves. Are we keeping something secret? Is there a sadness we need to talk about? Are we stuffing anger? These things eat away at our excitement for life. Many addicts never get the gift of recovery. Those of us in recovery are special. We've been given a new life. There will be hard times. But the joy of getting a second chance will be stronger. Am I grateful that I've been given recovery? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see recovery as a gift. I deserve this gift because I'm human. Help me to always accept this gift. Action for the Day: At the end of the day, I'll list three gifts that this day has given me. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning . . . we could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. --Helen Keller We chase after joy, like a child after a firefly, being certain that in joy all problems are solved, all questions are answered. Joy has its rewards, and we deserve them. But life has more to teach us. We need to learn patience; through patience we come to respect time and its passage, and we are mellowed. We need to learn tolerance; through tolerance our appreciation of another's individuality is nurtured. We need to learn self-respect; self-respect prepares us to contribute more freely to our experiences, and we find wholeness. Life's travails are our opportunities for lasting, enriching joy. The rough spots deepen our understandings. And these help us to bring joy to the lives of the friends near and dear. I need not turn my back on joy. But I will be glad for all life's experiences. The panorama will sustain me more fully. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help. p. 62 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. A couple of weeks later the large company I was with, which had relocated me and my family at their expense, had a large staff cutback, and I was cut back--fired. I thought I was fire-proof. I was in a very important position, doing important work. I was the chief of researcher in developing a new product; I was sitting in on strategic planning meetings. I was very upset. After all, I was better now and back to being a good employee and team player again, but to no avail. p. 403 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Five - "Each group has but one primary purpose - to carry it's message to the alcoholic who still suffers." "Thank heaven I came up with the right answer for that one. It was based foursquare on the single purpose of A.A. `You have faith,' I said. `Perhaps far deeper faith than mine. No doubt you're better taught in religious matters than I. So I can't tell you anything about religion. I don't even want to try. I'll bet, too, that you could give me a letter-perfect definition of humility. But from what you've told me about yourself and your problems and how you propose to lick them, I think I know what's wrong.' "`Okay,' he said. `Give me the business.' "`Well,' I said, `I think you're just a conceited Irishman who thinks he can run the whole show.' "This really rocked him. But as he calmed down, he began to listen while I tried to show him that humility was the main key to sobriety. Finally, he saw that I wasn't attempting to change his religious views, that I wanted him to find the grace in his own religion that would aid his recovery. From there on we got along fine. "Now," concludes the oldtimer, "suppose I'd been obliged to talk to this man on religious grounds? Suppose my answer had to be that A.A. needed a lot of money; that A.A. went in for education, hospital, and rehabilitation? Suppose I'd suggested that I'd take a hand in his domestic and business affairs? Where would we have wound up? No place, of course." Years later, this tough Irish customer liked to say, "my sponsor sold me one idea, and that was sobriety. At the time, I couldn't have bought anything else." pp. 153-154 ************************************************** ********* When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. --Edward Teller Take time each day to seek out stillness, to find that sacred spot. Let your mind and soul be at ease. Don't grasp and grab for the magic and miracles. When you reside in that place of stillness, the joy, miracles, and magic you're seeking will find you. --Melody Beattie "Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think." --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow I only have to be what I am, no more, no less. --Robbie Rocheford Higher Power, help me to be open, flexible, and accepting in my recovery. *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation SELF-LOVE "Only a person who can live with himself can enjoy the gift of leisure." --Henry Greber As an addict I could not tolerate my own company for long. I was forever telephoning somebody, going over to a friend's house, inviting people in, creating an "occasion" so I did not have to think or, at least, think about myself. Being alone terrified me. I was terrified because I would begin to think about what was happening in my life and I did not want to face it. Spirituality is reality. Some years ago I decided to encounter the "real" me, painful but necessary. I began to develop an awareness of who I am. Acceptance followed: I am an alcoholic. Today I know me; today I like me; today I can love me - and this awareness brings with it a knowledge of God, self and my neighbor. Today I can be alone without feeling lonely. ************************************************** ********* Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. "Honor your father and mother." This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, "you will live a long life, full of blessing." And now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22, 23 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." Colossians 3:15 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration The best thing to let go of is your past. Lord, the goodness of my past is part of whom I am now, but the rest only serves to pull me away from You. Help me to keep my thoughts only on this moment. Imagine that you were paid for every kindness and charged for every unkindness. Would you be rich or poor? Lord, I often pray for material wealth. Let me not neglect my soul by now praying for the ability to build my spiritual wealth also. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Walls "Reaching out is the beginning of the struggle that will set us free. It will break down the walls that imprison us." Basic Text, p.80 Many of us came to NA emotionally shattered. Years of using people and allowing them to use us had taken their toll on our ability to trust anyone, ourselves included. But the love and acceptance we found in Narcotics Anonymous encouraged us to reach out and get close to others. The longer we stayed clean, the more we began to long for greater intimacy with our loved ones. We began reaching out in deeper, more meaningful ways, even though we might get hurt. Despite our fears of rejection, we decided to risk revealing ourselves, our beliefs, and our needs. We decided to let down our defensive walls. The freedom we've found has been worth the risk involved. We know there is still work to do before we will be completely free of the barriers built by years of active addiction. But by reaching out to other addicts and allowing them to reach out to us, despite our human failings, we have come to know that we have a great capacity for love and intimacy. When set free of their restraining walls, our hearts hold great power. Just for today: I will let down my personal walls and reach out to others. I will allow my heart the freedom to love and be loved. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. You will jump to it someday. Then you'll fly. You'll really fly. After that you'll quite simply, quite calmly make your own stones, your own floor plan, your own sound. --Anne Sexton A young man sat beside a whispering creek all day for years, never moving. The townsfolk who watched him wondered whether he heard the gurgling creek sounds, or felt the sting of insects, or saw the raccoons when they came at night to sip from the cool, dark waters. One day the young man rose and dashed up the hill above the creek. There, using all the healing strength of the stream which he had quietly absorbed over the years, he gathered stones. He arranged them layer by layer to fit the plan he had thought out by the creek, and feverishly he built his home. When done, he let out a brassy, booming holler of joy. Imagine the townsfolk's surprise when they turned their eyes to that lonely spot by the creek and saw a huge castle of stone above the place where the young man once rested. What plans can I make during my idle hours today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The loneliness each man feels is his hunger for life itself.... It is the yearning that makes fulfillment possible. --Ross Mooney Many different journeys have been taken by the men who finally entered this program in search of hope. Most of us have known our own brand of desperation, but we have one thing in common - the loneliness we felt. Some of us felt left out of our families and other groups. We were appalled by what was happening in our lives, alone with our secrets, as if no one truly knew us. Some of us even romanticized our loneliness as a form of heroism. As we gave up our controlling behaviors, false pride over-competitiveness, and striving for power, we made our weak spots and secrets more obvious. We became more accessible to friends. As we count the blessings of recovery, high on our list is that we are no longer lonely. In part, what kept me going and led me to this program was my hunger for life. I'm grateful for the friends who truly know me now, and still accept me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Wisdom never kicks at the iron walls it can't bring down. --Olive Schreiner God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times--yesterday, last week, today, and even tomorrow--we'll come face-to-face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation, is great. What a hard lesson it is, to learn we can change only ourselves! The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do, too. Acceptance, after a time, smooths all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will "loosen" love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish. As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this program, we'll stand ready, as women, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help our sisters become wise through our example. My lessons are not easy. But they will ease my way. Better days begin, today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Surrender Master the lessons of your present circumstances. We do not move forward by resisting what is undesirable in our life today. We move forward, we grow, we change by acceptance. Avoidance is not the key; surrender opens the door. Listen to this truth: We are each in our present circumstances for a reason. There is a lesson, a valuable lesson that must be learned before we can move forward. Something important is being worked out in us, and in those around us. We may not be able to identify it today; but we can know that it is important. We can know it is good. Overcome not by force, overcome by surrender. The battle is fought, and won, inside ourselves. We must go through it until we learn, until we accept, until we become grateful, until we are set free. Today, I will be open to the lessons of my present circumstances. I do not have to label, know, or understand what I'm learning; I will see clearly in time. For today, trust and gratitude are sufficient. I am learning new ways to deal with all that comes up in my life today. I am letting go of all negative ways of dealing with stress and anxiety that are harmful to my mind and my body. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Learn to Report Instead of Judge There is a world of difference between reporting and judging. When you report, you merely say what happened. I am going through this. I did this. She did that. I feel this. But when you judge, attitudes and feelings are added on. I am going through this; therefore I’m deficient. I did this; therefore I’m wrong. She did that; therefore there’s something wrong with her. I feel this; so I must be bad. Reporting brings clarity and helps move us forward. Report on what is happening in your life as often as you like. But try not to judge. Judgment limits, confines, brings condemnation down on others and ourselves. It says who you are, where you are, what you are doing is wrong. That leaves little room to move, and even less space for acceptance. Ir diminishes the freedom to grow and evolve. Reporting without judgment doesn’t mean we approve of what’s going on or that we don’t have feelings about the situation. Nor does it mean we have to tolerate whatever comes our way. But when we can report without judgment, we can accept. And acceptance sets us free. Acceptance is the place from which all growth and change occurs. When there is truth and acceptance without fear of judgement, there is love. Create your own world of love. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax when things don’t go as you planned So, the boyfriend calls, says he’s going hiking with his buddies for a week, cancels his date with you, says he hopes you won’t be mad. Or the bank calls and says you’re overdrawn, and you don’t know how that can be. You’ve been trying to carefully watch your deposits and checks. You’ve gone out of your way not to mess up. This can’t be right. What do you do when life seems to force you to react? You can panic, become anxious, yell, and respond with a counterattack. But that probably won’t solve the problem. And it may turn things into a brawl. Or you can calm down. Breathe deeply. Tell yourself to relax. Say as little as possible, if that’s possible, while you’re upset and disturbed. If a problem or disturbance that’s not fair interrupts your life, try responding by saying “hmmm.” Then calm down and decide what you need to do. There’s a time to get upset, yell, scream, and shout. But that time isn’t when you’re trying to sort out problems. Before you take action, get centered, calm, and clear. You will discover that when you’re centered and calm, you’re more powerful than you think. God, help me start sailing through life with more ease by learning to relax and let life be. ************************************************** In God’s Care One can survive anything these days except death. ~~Oscar Wilde Perhaps we remember the pain of discovering that a loved one had betrayed our trust. The hurt and shame might have felt unbearable. Maybe we suffered a devastating blow when a dream of ours was lost forever. At the time, our pain may have consumed and immobilized us. But it finally went away and we did survive. We are survivors or we wouldn’t still be on this journey. All of us have lived through some tragic and overwhelming circumstances. At times we may have felt we were being pushed to the edge of sanity. But we didn’t topple over. And we are still on our journey of recovery. We can continue to find purpose in every situation that claims us, with the knowledge that our Higher Power will be there for us. I will be able to handle even the most difficult situation today with God’s help. ***************************************** A New Level of Mastery Coming Full Circle by Madisyn Taylor When we come full circle there is the feeling that we have come to a familiar place but we are somehow different. Life is a circular journey through our issues and processes, and this is why things that are technically new often seem very familiar. It is also why, whenever we work to release a habit, change a pattern, or overcome a fear, we often encounter that issue one last time, even after we thought we had conquered it. Often, when this happens, we feel defeated or frustrated that after all our hard work we are still dealing with the same problem. However, the reappearance of a pattern, habit, or fear, is often a sign that we have come full circle, and that if we can maintain our resolve through one last test, we will achieve a new level of mastery in our lives. When we come full circle, there is often the feeling that we have arrived in a familiar place, but that we ourselves are somehow different. We know that we can handle challenges that seemed insurmountable when we began our journey, and there is the feeling that we might be ready to take on a new problem, or some new aspect of the old problem. We feel empowered and courageous to have taken on the challenge of stopping a pattern, releasing a habit, or overcoming a fear, and to have succeeded. At times like these, we deserve a moment of rest and self-congratulation before we move on to the next challenge. Coming full circle is like stepping into a clearing where, for a moment, we can see where we came from and where we are standing at the same time. Remembering that we will be tested again is important, but it’s also important to pause and take a look at the ground we’ve covered, honoring our courage, our persistence, and our achievement. Then we can begin the next leg of our circular journey with a fuller understanding of where we are coming from. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine. A casual apology, on the one hand, will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed; a true change of attitude, in contrast, can do wonders to make up for past unkindness. If I’ve deprived anyone of any material thing, I’ll acknowledge the debt and pay it as soon as I’m able. Will I swallow my pride and make the first overtures toward reconciliation? Today I Pray God show me the best ways to make “direct amends.” Sometimes simply admitting my mistakes may make it up to someone and unload my own simmering guilt. Other times restitution may take some creative thought. May I be wholly aware that I cannot take this Ninth Step unless I develop some caring, some real concern about how others feel, along with changes in my behavior. Today I Will Remember First I care, then I apologize. ************************************************** One More Day Variety is the mother of enjoyment. – Benjamin Disraeli Ideally, we anticipate awakening in the morning, not sure what the day is going to bring, but looking forward to it anyway. Sometimes this eagerness comes more easily, for we have places to go and people to see. At other times, we’re unable to recapture our previous joy. What took away our excitement for life? What can we do to reclaim it? Life does not end at retirement or when the children move away or when our good health is diminished. It just changes. We can develop some new interests and hobbies. We can reexamine old attitudes and come up with new perspectives. Music and-good fellowship with others can enrich our lives and strengthen us to go on. We can turn to our spiritual natures, and we will know joy. I am aware of the wonders and opportunities around me. I will share the joy I find. ************************************ Food For Thought Conflicts To be alive is to have conflicts. We find ourselves in disagreement with other people and in conflict with ourselves. Often, the things we want seem mutually exclusive, such as more money and more free time, more food and fewer pounds. Our Higher Power does not promise us freedom from conflict, at any rate, not in this life. Like all growing organisms, we struggle with opposing forces. Frequently, our overeating is an attempt to escape the conflicts, which we should be facing. Sometimes we need to be more self-assertive with those around us instead of futilely trying to suppress justifiable indignation with food. There are times when we need to fight for our legitimate requirements. We cannot always resolve our internal conflicts without a long and difficult battle. Time and maturity are often necessary before a problem is seen in its proper perspective. Some problems we may expect to wrestle with as long as we live. Having faith in the light, even when we cannot see it, makes our darkness bearable. Lighten our darkness, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time VICES AND VIRTUES "It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues." Abraham Lincoln In doing a tenth step daily, I am faced with my character defects -- and yes, even vices. While I may not be compulsively eating, I may over-indulge in any number of other things like talking, whining, or frenetic busy-ness. I have been told that in life I must learn to "take my foot off the gas." I have also been told that I am "too intense" or just "too much." I guess this means I am not moderate in all things (by a mile.) This thought comforts me in all of this: at least I am in the game. If someone asks for my opinion, he or she will get it ~ straight from the heart or the hip, as they say. If someone needs a favor, I am apt to be excessive in performing it. If someone needs a friend, he or she often gets much more than a casual acquaintance in me. In essence, my being "too much in general" has its good side -- at least I am not asleep at the wheel. I am fully engaged in life. One day at a time... I will not forget that my zest for overindulging and overdoing-it-in-general has its counterpart in my zest for goodness and service. I am alive and kicking. I will not hate myself for being fully alive. ~ Q ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. Though you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks. - Pg. 34 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It is a good idea to take five minutes to reflect on our situation while we go through the beginning stages of abstinence. For many of us the battle is acute withdrawal, pain and confusion. 'Taking five to revive' can be very important to our focus on survival. As I 'take five' give me the thoughts necessary to carry me forward. The Witness Today, I will become aware of that part of me that is separate and observes all that I say, do, think and feel. I have a witness within me that can become a very useful part of my life. Watching my behavior with a little bit of objectivity will help me to see myself as I really am. I will look with a compassionate eye. Just as I know it is not right to hurt others intentionally, it is equally not right to hurt myself. I recognize the godlike nature within me and others - we are all a part of the same Higher Power. By allowing my mind to watch itself with no thought of controlling or participating, I can learn a great deal about the way I work. I am an uncritical observer of my own inner workings. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There will always be people who did worse than you and always people who do better. You can use comparison to prove anything you want: that you lack thus and such or that you are better than so and so. We learn not to compare our selves and our stories, but to identify. I identify, I don't compare. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book No matter how much sobriety you have, you will never rise above the level of human being. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am learning new ways to deal with all that comes up in my life today. I am letting go of all negative ways of dealing with stress and anxiety that are harmful to my mind and my body. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'm never going to forget about self, but the Big Book tells me that I'm supposed to be of maximum service to God and my fellows - I'm not even mentioned. And in that process, I'm of maximum service when I'm focused on others; folding chairs, emptying ashtrays, making coffee, a commitment at my home group. As it says: 'Our very lives as ex problem drinkers depends on our constant thought of others.' What do they mean by that? They can't possibly mean that we're supposed to constantly think of others. Could they? Who's going to think about me? - Chris C. |
June 18
Daily Reflections A FELLOWSHIP OF FREEDOM . . . if only men were granted absolute liberty, and were compelled to obey no one, they would then voluntarily associate themselves in the common interest. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 50 When I no longer live under the dictates of another or of alcohol, I live in a new freedom. When I release the past and all the excess baggage I have carried for so very long, I come to know freedom. I have been introduced into a life and a fellowship of freedom. The Steps are a "recommended" way of finding a new life, there are no commands or dictates in A.A. I am free to serve from desire rather than decree. There is the understanding that I will benefit from the growth of other members and I take what I learn and bring it back to the group. The "common welfare" finds room to grow in the society of personal freedom. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The A.A. way of living is not an easy one. But it's an adventure in living that is really worthwhile. And it's so much better than our old drunken way of living that there's no comparison. Our lives without A.A. would be worth nothing. With A.A., we have a chance to live reasonably good lives. It's worth the battle, no matter how tough the going is from day to day. Isn't it worth the battle? Meditation For The Day The spiritual life has two parts. One is the life apart, the life of prayer and quiet communion with God. You spend this part of your life apart with God. Every day your mind can be set in the right direction so that your thoughts will be of the right kind. The other is the life impart--imparting from others what you have learned from your own meditative experience. The victories you have won over yourself through the help of God can be shared with others. You can help them by imparting to them some of the victory and security that you have gained in your life apart. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may grow strong from my times apart with God. I pray that I may pass on some of this strength to others. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Learning Never Ends, p. 169 "My experience as an oldtimer has to some degree paralleled your own and that of many others. We all find that the time comes when we are not allowed to manage and conduct the functional affairs of the groups, areas, or, in my case, A.A. as a whole. In the end we can only be worth as much as our spiritual example has justified. To that extent, we become useful symbols--and that's just about it." << << << >> >> >> "I have become a pupil of the A.A. movement rather than the teacher I once thought I was." 1. Letter, 1964 2. Letter, 1949 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places AA is an Automatic sprinkler system Emotional emergencies Wise managers install automatic sprinkler systems to protect their businesses. The system's great value is that it goes into action during the first few minutes of a fire, before it gets out of control. This gives the fire department precious time to arrive and put the fire out. Our AA program gives us something like an automatic sprinkler system. We never know when the flames of resentment might leap up, seemingly our of nowhere. If we've been working our program, something takes over automatically to being dealing with resentment. This gives us time to bring more of our valuable spiritual tools into use. Knowing that resentment is burning away, we can try one thing and then another until it is brought to rest. Perhaps we will try prayer. We might also discuss our problem with a close friend or sponsor. Maybe we'll attend a meeting and lay the matter out for the group attention. We may help somebody, even in a small way. An amazing healing of resentment can come from any helpful action. Even a simple action like helping a person in a stalled automobile can work wonders in deflecting the pain of ongoing resentment. I need not fear the sudden appearance of resentment if I have been following my program. I already have within myself the methods for holding resentment at bay while I deal with it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. Rodin When we first start our recovery, it hurts a lot to look at our past. We feel sad. It feels like our life was a waste. But it wasn't a waste. The program promises that if we practice the Steps, we'll not reget the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Hard to believe? Just look at all the happy old-timers in AA. Their lives were just as messed up as ours. Because of our addiction, we're learning a new way to live. We are getting to know ourselves, our Higher Power, and other people. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thanks for helping me into recovery. Help me learn from my addiction. Action for the Day: I'll list three important things I've learned about life because of my addiction. I'll talk to my sponsor about them. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning One receives only that which is given. The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words, return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy. --Florence Scovel Shin Each of us can attest to the truth of this passage. During the difficult times, however, it is not uppermost in our minds that "what goes around, comes around." It feels all too easy to be justifiably resentful or to gossip, or to ignore another's presence. And the repercussions are seldom immediate. They will come, though. Goodness is likewise repaid. Giving love, attention, respect to the individuals who share our lives and to the people who cross our paths by chance, will smooth our own passage day by day. The effects of our goodness will often be felt quickly. A smile elicits a smile. Kind thoughts bless us as well as the receiver. Life events do come full circle. With a bit of effort, I can smile at someone today, even though I'm frowning inside. Both will be better for it. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. p. 62 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. We were able to stay on site in special offices set aside for us to conduct our job search. As part of this job search, I was allowed to go to a professional convention being held in the Southwest. p. 404 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." THE moment we saw that we had an answer for alcoholism, it was reasonable (or so it seemed at the time) for us to feel that we might have the answer to a lot of other things. The A.A. groups, many thought, could go into business, might finance any enterprise whatever in the total field of alcoholism. In fact, we felt duty-bound to throw the whole weight of the A.A. name behind any meritorious cause. p. 155 ************************************************** ********* "If we've been fighting something or someone, we can try gratitude & acceptance." --Melody Beattie "My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." --Oprah Winfrey "Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions." --Earl Gray Stevens "Whatever your problem, no matter how difficult, you can release spiritual power sufficient to solve your problem. The secret is--pray and believe." --Norman Vincent Peale "When you focus on what might have been, it gets in the way of what can be." --Patricia Fripp *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation ACCEPTANCE "Less is more." --Mies van der Rohe As a gambler, I always wanted more. I wanted to win more, get more, have more, spend more - always my energy was in getting "the more". But this constant and demanding lifestyle only gave me less. I could never stop to smell the roses. Activity robbed me of satisfaction. I was running through my life and missing it. Then somebody told me to stop and rest awhile. Don't chase life; enjoy it. The gambling had become a compulsive and obsessive disease that was ruining my life. I was losing. I was not only losing money - but family, intimacy, life. I was so busy trying to win that I missed the pain and loneliness of my daily losses. Today I choose not to do this. I accept that the "less" in my life is giving me more. I take responsibility for me, and I share freely with other recovering gamblers. God, teach me to see Your power and beauty in what I can give up. ************************************************** ********* For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10 Do not love sleep or you will grow poor; stay awake and you will have food to spare. Psalm 20:13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Live with gratitude for all that you are and all that you have because often what looks good on the outside is not really what it seems. Lord, remind me to spend a few moments each day appreciating my life and becoming aware of how good it really is. Worse than being a quitter is the one who is afraid to begin. Lord, grant me the courage to believe in myself and the ability to focus on what I can do, not what I can't do. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Indirect Amends "Indirect amends may be necessary where direct ones would be unsafe or endanger other people." Basic Text, p.40 When we used, we allowed nothing to stand in the way of that next high. As a result, many of us didn't always know precisely whom we had injured, either financially or emotionally. When it came time to make amends through our Ninth Step, we found that there were so many people we had victimized that we might never remember them all. With the help of our sponsor and other recovering members of NA, we found a solution to this obstacle. We vowed to complete these nameless amends by making restitution to our communities. We focused our service efforts on helping the still-suffering addict. In this manner, we found a way to give back to society. Today, with the love and guidance of members in NA, we are giving back to the world around us rather than taking. We are making our communities better places to live by carrying the message of recovery to those we encounter in our daily lives. Just for today: I will make indirect amends by reaching out to an addict who may need help. I will strive in some small way to make my community a better place in which to live. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Let your conscience be your guide. --Jiminy Cricket Crickets sing on summer nights because it's their nature to do so. They don't think about whistling or trumpeting or sleeping or changing the world. They've figured out their role on earth, and they do it. We are a bit more complex than crickets, and most of the time that's lucky. In most of our affairs it's our conscience more than sheer instinct that helps us choose those thoughts and acts and feelings that are right for us. Each of us has that little voice inside, relentless as a chirping cricket, telling us what to do. Even in the middle of our toughest decisions, we always have within us the solution that is right for us. All we have to do is listen--and trust. What does my inner voice say about today's decisions? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Choice of attention - to pay attention to this and ignore that - is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases, a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences. --W. H. Auden Many of us have said, "I can't help myself!" when we tried to stop our constant thinking about other people or their behavior. "I know it's not good for me, but what can I do when they keep acting that way?" Let us think of ourselves as living in a house with many windows. At each window is a different view, and within each view are many things to catch our attention. Perhaps there are some people, some traffic, some buildings, a horizon, and some trees. If we always go to the same window and focus on the same object, we are not using all our choices. We may have overlooked some things in our lives that need attention. There are many things we are totally powerless over. Our power exists in changing the focus of our attention. Today, I will notice where I am choosing to pay attention. I pray for guidance in being aware of my options. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . we could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. --Helen Keller We chase after joy, like a child after a firefly, being certain that in joy all problems are solved, all questions are answered. Joy has its rewards, and we deserve them. But life has more to teach us. We need to learn patience; through patience we come to respect time and its passage, and we are mellowed. We need to learn tolerance; through tolerance our appreciation of another's individuality is nurtured. We need to learn self-respect; self-respect prepares us to contribute more freely to our experiences, and we find wholeness. Life's travails are our opportunities for lasting, enriching joy. The rough spots deepen our understandings. And these help us to bring joy to the lives of the friends near and dear. I need not turn my back on joy. But I will be glad for all life's experiences. The panorama will sustain me more fully. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Being Vulnerable Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing. Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed. Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away. We learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us. Today, God, help me learn to be appropriately vulnerable. I will not let others exploit or shame me for being vulnerable, and I will not exploit myself. I am learning new ways to deal with all that comes up in my life today. I am letting go of all negative ways of dealing with stress and anxiety that are harmful to my mind and my body. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Don’t Worry Worrying doesn’t help. Our worries haven’t prevented one disaster along the way. At times, the only thing they’ve prevented is our joy. Our worries are fear. We say, I will worry and be fearful until things have worked out; only then can I relax and enjoy. Our worries are self-punishment, a form of not forgiving ourselves, not loving ourselves, not trusting. We may think that worrying helps ward off trouble, but that’s an illusion. Sometimes worrying brings trouble upon us, because we’re so caught up in our fear that we don’t take the responsible steps we need to take. By neglecting our lives due to worry and fear, we may bring needless consequences upon ourselves. The lesson is trust. When we’re trusting, we let go of our fear, confident that what we want and need will come. We trust that if what comes appears to be trouble or hardship, we will get what we need to get through that,too. When we trust, we get peaceful first, before we get what we want, before we see what the future brings. Worry and fear are the opposite of love. Love yourself more that you ever have. Love yourself enough to stop worrying. Love yourself enough to give yourself the gift of peace. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax even when you’re being attacked Attacks can come in many shapes and forms. They can be emotional attacks, when someone pelts us with anger and rage. We can be attacked physically,too. Self-defense is important. But ti’s easy to get confused when we’re being attacked, about what it means to take care of and protect ourselves. It may be a boss, a spouse, a child, or a friend who turns on us in anger and rage. We might be dating someone, someone we don’t know well, who suddenly starts spewing venom and rage. Instinctively, we may attack back. If someone yells at us in anger, says something mean, or physically hurts us, we usually don’t think twice. We tense up and fight back. Then the situation escalates. The other perosn’s fear and anger contaminate us. We become afraid, angry, and mean,too. Our intense and volatile emotions feed and fuel the situation. Things can easily get out of control. Instead of escalting the situation into an all-out brawl, try harmonizing and restoring the situation to peace. You might be surprised with the results that learning to relax and harmonize brings. And you’ll be closer to connecting with your true power. God, fill me up with so much peace that my presence neutralizes and deflects attacks, no matter where I might be. ************************************************** In God’s Care One can survive anything these days except death. ~~Oscar Wilde Perhaps we remember the pain of discovering that a loved one had betrayed our trust. The hurt and shame might have felt unbearable. Maybe we suffered a devastating blow when a dream of ours was lost forever. At the time, our pain may have consumed and immobilized us. But it finally went away and we did survive. We are survivors or we wouldn’t still be on this journey. All of us have lived through some tragic and overwhelming circumstances. At times we may have felt we were being pushed to the edge of sanity. But we didn’t topple over. And we are still on our journey of recovery. We can continue to find purpose in every situation that claims us, with the knowledge that our Higher Power will be there for us. I will be able to handle even the most difficult situation today with God’s help. ************************************** Clearing Our System Food Allergies by Madisyn Taylor Understanding how our bodies react to food, and making adjustments can have a profound effect on our energy system. In this day and age we know so much more about our relationship to food than our predecessors, and the way we eat and think about food has become almost unrecognizable to our grandparents’ generation. One example of this is our awareness of food allergies, a condition that has recently entered the collective consciousness. Most of us know someone who is allergic to such commonplace foods as wheat and dairy, and we may even be prone to such an allergy. Understanding how our bodies react to food, and making the necessary adjustments in our diet, can have a profound effect on our whole energy system, and can be the key to shifting our mind into a state of greater clarity. When we are continuously exposed to a food that gives us an allergic reaction, we feel lethargic, foggy-headed, or as if we always have a low-grade sinus infection. Other symptoms can include nausea, digestive difficulties, skin problems, and difficulty breathing. Many of us have been fighting these symptoms our whole lives without realizing that getting relief could be as simple as cutting a particular food out of our diet. When we do, we feel as if we are waking up out of a fog, and our whole system, cleared of substances that work against it, benefits. Many people see skin improvements, they sleep better, have more energy, and feel able to think more clearly. When we feel less than well, testing ourselves, or getting tested by someone else, for food allergies may be a good place to start. If you know how to do kinesiology, or if you work with a pendulum or have access to clear signals from an inner guide, you can test yourself. If these modes of gaining information are unfamiliar or uncomfortable, you can get tested through a doctor of your choice. However we go about it, exploring our relationship to the foods we eat can be the first step to a more optimal state of health, well-being, and clarity of mind. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I believe today that I have a right to make spiritual progress. I have a right to be emotionally mature. I have a right to take pleasure in my own company, and that makes me more pleasant to be with. I also have a right to become willing — deeply willing, entirely willing – to make amends to all those I’ve harmed. Because I can now accept myself the way I am, I can accept other people the way they are — no entirely, but to a much greater degree than in the past. Have I begun to make friends with God, and thus with myself? Today I Pray May God show me that it’s okay to like myself, even while trying to repair old wrongs and rebuild from splinters. May I keep telling myself that I am different now, I have changed. I am a better and wiser and healthier person, I have made some good choices. As this “new person,” may I find it easier to make atonement for what happened long ago and in another spiritual place. May those I have wronged also find it easier to accept my amends. Today I Will Remember It’s okay to like myself. ************************************************** One More Day Never believe in faith, see for yourself! What you yourself don’t learn, you don’t know. – Berolt Brecht While faith seems to be the watchword here, this quotation also extols the value of learning. Learning is not the opposite of faith. In fact, it supports and builds our faith. We often can trust our intuitions to guide us through all the lessons life provides us. It’s up to us to pick and choose, to decide what lessons would be particularly pertinent to us, and to incorporate that knowledge into our own spirituality. We learn firsthand, of course, from our own day-to-day lessons in living, but we also learn from the experiences of others, and these are equally beneficial to us. We can see for ourselves. Learning strengthens my faith — in my Higher Power, in others, and in myself. I can use that greater faith to enhance and strengthen the quality of my life. ************************************ Food For Thought Homesickness There are certain foods, which we will always associate with home and which make us nostalgic to recapture the past. No matter how much we eat, we cannot go back home and again be the babies and little children we were. No food will satisfy our longing for the love, care, and safety most of us associate with home. Even (and especially) if our dependency needs were not met when we were young, eating unnecessary food now will not help. As we grow in relationship with our Higher Power, we begin to believe that home lies ahead, rather than behind us. We begin to see that our homesickness is for a spiritual state instead of a physical place. Wherever we are, we are pilgrims and travelers, not sure of our final destination but drawn toward something more than what we know in this world. We sense that though we are in the world, we are not of it, that we are homesick for a spiritual fulfillment. May our homesickness bring us closer to You. ***************************************** One Day At A Time GUILT “The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.” Ayn Rand I think that I was fed on guilt from the minute I was knee-high to a grasshopper. My mother's favorite saying was, "After all I've done for you..." I'd immediately feel guilty because of all that I perceived my mother had given up for me. As a result, I was given the message that love had to be earned and that as far as my mother was concerned, I had to do something to be worthy of her love. I felt like I had to be the perfect daughter my mother wanted. No matter what I did, it never seemed to be good enough. My guilt grew even more. Of course I know now that I didn't deserve that guilt and that I chose to take it on ~ but as a child I didn't know that. Thank goodness for the program which is enabling me to see what I deserve -- and what doesn't belong to me. I am realizing that most of the time it's other people's stuff and that I don't have to take that on. One day at a time... I will remember to only take on what is rightfully mine and I don't need to feel guilty if I don't deserve to. ~ Sharon ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all; and once having formed the habit and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve. Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives. - Pg. xxviii - 4th. Editon - The Doctor's Opinion Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The origin of our disease mystifies us -- genetic, societal, environmental, or all three? But we can't wait on science or medicine to untangle the addiction web. We must work on recovery today! That means no mind-affecting chemicals in this 24 hours! May I stay clean and sober this day, this hour. Separation Today, I see that some of my anger towards my parents or their generation is about my need to separate from them and seek an individual identity. Even if my parents were wonderful, it would be natural to want to become my own person. Healthy parents have an easier time allowing this process because they have their own identity and intuitively understand what their children are doing. Less healthy parents take separation as a personal indictment and tend either to hold on tighter or to reject the relationships altogether. It is difficult to separate under these circumstances because it becomes so threatening. It is difficult to establish an individual identity without fearing either great loss or engulfment. I see separation for what it is. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Take heart. There is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened. This is because the spiritual tools you require reside within-within that heart you 'take.' What lies in front of me and what lies behind me is insignificant compared to what lies within me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Not asking for support is a sign of weakness. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I look honestly at what is real without denial or judgement. I accept my reality without struggle and this gives me all the courage I need to deal with what needs to be done. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote They say there are no 'musts' in AA, that it's a 'suggested program'. That's right. The same way that when you jump out of a plane, it's suggested you take a parachute. Unknown origin. |
June 19
Daily Reflections "A.A. REGENERATION" Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46 A thousand beatings by Barleycorn did not encourage me to admit defeat. I believed it was my moral obligation to conquer my "enemy-friend." At my first A.A. meeting I was blessed with a feeling that it was all right to admit defeat to a disease which had nothing to do with my "moral fiber." I knew instinctively that I was in the presence of a great love when I entered the doors of A.A. With no effort on my part, I became aware that to love myself was good and right, as God had intended. My feeling set me free, where my thoughts had held me in bondage. I am grateful. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We have this choice every day of our lives. We can take the path that leads to insanity and death. And remember, our next drunk could be our last one. Or we can take the path that leads to a reasonably happy and useful life. The choice is ours each day of our lives. God grant that we take the right path. Have I made my choice today? Meditation For The Day Your real work in life is to grow spiritually. To do this you must follow the path of diligently seeking good. The hidden spiritual wonders are revealed to those who diligently seek this treasure. From one point to the next, you have to follow the way of obedience to God's will until finally you reach greater and greater spiritual heights. Work on the material plane should be secondary to your real life's work. The material things that you need most are those that help you to attain the spiritual. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may keep growing spiritually. I pray that I may make this my real life's work. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Whose Will? p. 170 We have seen A.A.'s ask with much earnestness and faith for God's explicit guidance on matters ranging all the way from a shattering domestic or financial crisis to a minor personal fault, like tardiness. A man who tries to run his life rigidly by this kind of prayer, by this self-serving demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting individual. To any questioning or criticism of his actions, he instantly proffers his reliance upon prayer for guidance in all matters great or small. He may have forgotten the possibility that his own wishful thinking and the human tendency to rationalize have distorted his so-called guidance. With the best of intentions, he tends to force his will into all sorts of situations and problems with the comfortable assurance that he is acting under God's specific direction. 12 & 12, pp. 103-104 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Open minded but concerned. Responsibility Open-mindedness is a quality that helps us attract new ideas for our self-imporovement. Oddly, many of us though we were open-minded long before we ever considered a 12 Step program. We learned that what we considered open-mindedness was really indifference based on self-justification. It follow that people who are deep into selfish, compulsive behavior will appear to be open-minded and even very tolerant. This attitude is really the result of a desire to be accepted in spite of questionable behavior. It reflects no concern for others. In living the program, we seek to cultivate true open-mindedness. This means being open to new ideas and opportunities, but also being concerned about others and taking care not to harm them. Today I'll be open to what people are thinking and saying. I will be careful not to let my own prejudices keep me from viewpoints that will help me and others. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If you tell the truth, you don't need to remember anything.---Mark Twain One thing is a lot easier in life now is this---we can keep our story straight! We are learning that there's one really good way to get along with people. Keep It Simple. Just tell the truth. It's hard to do at first. We might think, "If people see the real me, what will happen?" We might be afraid of what will happen if we don't lie or make excuses. But telling the truth works! We find out we never did fool anyone anyway! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, make me honest. Action for the Day: I'll list all the ways honesty will help me in recovery. I'll sign-up to give a meeting on honesty. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning There were deep secrets, hidden in my heart, never said for fear others would scoff or sneer. At last I can reveal my sufferings, for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power. --Deidra Sarault There is magic in sharing ourselves with someone else. We learn from Steps Four and Five that what we thought were heinous acts are not unusual. Our shameful acts are not unique, and this discovery is our gift when we risk exposure. Realizing how much we are like others gives us strength, and the program paves the way for us to capture that strength whenever and wherever we sense our need. Secrets block us from others and thus from God too. The messages we need to hear, the guidance offered by God, can't be received when we close ourselves off from the caring persons in our lives. They are the carriers of God's message. How freeing to know we share the same fears, the same worries. Offering our story to someone else may be the very encouragement she needs at this time. Each of us profits from the sharing of a story. We need to recognize and celebrate our "sameness." When we share ourselves, we are bonded. Bonding combines our strength. Silence divides us. It diminishes our strength. Yet all the strength we need awaits us. I will let someone else know me today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn. p. 63 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. Now somehow; between the time I lost my job and my flight to the convention, I decided maybe I was not an alcoholic and I needed to test that theory. After all, I was a researcher, and things had to be tested. I decided that on the plane (it seemed like a safe place) I would put the question to the test. If I could have one drink and no more, I was not an alcoholic--alcoholics can't do that. So when the stewardess came by to ask me if I wanted a drink, I said, "Yes." She put two little bottles' worth in a glass ("No ice, thank you very much") and went up the aisle. On her way back she asked if I wanted another, and I said, "Yes." I drank for the whole flight--before dinner, during dinner, and after dinner. As we approached our destination, I searched my pocket for a pen to fill out the in-flight magazine response card. I found this large coin. I took it out to see what it was. It was my ninety-day pocket piece, and I was reminded of what I was doing. And the thought came to me: Wow, those guys at the meeting were right--I am powerless over alcohol. I put that coin back in my pocket and from that day to this, some 15 1/2 years later, I have had no urge to drink. p. 404 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." Here are some of the things we dreamed. Hospitals didn't like alcoholics, so we thought we'd build a hospital chain of our own. People needed to be told what alcoholism was, so we'd educate the public, even rewrite school and medical textbooks. We'd gather up derelicts from skid rows, sort out those who could get well, and make it possible for the rest to earn their livelihood in a kind of quarantined confinement. Maybe these places would make large sums of money to carry on our other good works. We seriously thought of rewriting the laws of the land, and having it declared that alcoholics are sick people. No more would they be jailed; judges would parole them in our custody. We'd spill A.A. into the dark regions of dope addiction and criminality. We'd form groups of depressive and paranoid folks; the deeper the neurosis, the better we'd like it. It stood to reason that if alcoholism could be licked, so could any problem. pp. 155-156 ************************************************** ********* "Praying is asking God for help, meditating is listening for God's answer." "Keep trying" is the rule that must be followed to become successful in anything." It isn't "me" and "you" anymore; it's "we" and "us." I get drunk. We stay sober! It's a we program..... "The way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement." --Charles Schwab As thou valuest thyself, others will esteem thee. --Gaelic Proverb *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation PREJUDICE "A great many people think they are thinking when they are only rearranging their prejudices." --William James An aspect of prejudice in my life is my refusal to listen. I tend to stay with my own thinking and I "shut off" people or ideas I do not want to hear. The problem with this attitude is that it does not lead to discussion, growth or change. Spirituality is having the capacity to hear what others are saying, even people you may not like or respect, and also being prepared to live with and alongside confusion and "difference". Truth is a many-sided diamond, and it cannot be comprehended from one viewpoint. I need to remove my prejudices if I am ever to move towards an understanding of God's truth. I need to learn in my heart that there is that "image" of God in every person I meet. Teach me to listen so that I may hear, so that I may grow. ************************************************** ********* For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 "So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom." Luke 12:32 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Trust yourself more than you trust the pressures of society and the ways other people try to influence you. Lord, strengthen me and continue to bless me with wisdom so that I can stand firm on my beliefs and know that how I feel is very important to me. It is not making a mistake, but repeating it that is cause for concern. Lord, may I use my mistakes to guide me to better choices. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A Sense Of Humor "We find that when we lose self-obsession, we are able to understand what it means to be happy, joyous, and free." Basic Text, p.103 The laughter in our meetings often surprises the newcomer. As a group, we appreciate the healing that healthy laughter brings. Even if we are deeply troubled, the joy that often fills the meeting rooms allows us, for a time, to have some fun with our recovery. Through humor, we can be temporarily relieved of our obsession with self. Life on life's terms is often anything but funny. But if we can keep a sense of humor about us, things that might overwhelm us can be made bearable. How often have we allowed ourselves to be upset by incidents that, taken with a bit of humor, are not all that intolerable? When we become annoyed with people and events, a search for the humor in the situation can put things in a brighter perspective. An ability to find humor in a difficult situation is a gift to develop. Just for today: I will look to find the humor in adversity. When I make mistakes, I will find a way to laugh at the humor of my imperfections. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Jealousy is cruel as the grave. --Song of Solomon Most bushes and small trees need trimming every year. They have branches that hang out over the sidewalk and get in people's way. Sometimes the branches grow so long and low to the ground that the tree looks weighted down. Jealousy is like an overgrown branch--it weighs us down. It is one of those feelings all of us deal with. We may be jealous of someone's looks or talent, or maybe even their good luck. Like the overgrown branches, jealousy sticks out all over and gets in other people's way as well as our own. It is a part of us we need to keep cutting back. If we are good gardeners, we will get out the clippers. Seeing and talking about our jealousy is the best way to start using those clippers. If we do this, our own leaves will be healthier, and our blossoms will grow. Is there someone I am jealous of? Can I use my clippers today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. --Helen Keller When a man looks at his life and at the lives of others, it is clear that pain is part of life. We cannot escape this tragic truth; our growth and our wholeness must include it because our recovery stresses honesty. In our old way of living, we may have been bitter. Many of us felt sorry for ourselves. Some of us cursed God and wasted time in our self-centeredness, thinking life was especially unfair to us. Life is not fair; it just is. It is left to us to choose how we will respond. People's responses to life inspire us. We not only acknowledge the pain, but we see the heroic lives of others around us. They met their limitations and went forward with a willing spirit and faith. Today we can be grateful for the progress we have made in overcoming our suffering. We have friends who give us the joy of human contact. We have choices and possibilities where we never saw them before. We have a growing self-respect as men. I accept the reality of life, and I will respond with faith in the choices I make today. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. One receives only that which is given. The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words, return to us sooner or later, with astounding accuracy. --Florence Scovel Shin Each of us can attest to the truth of this passage. During the difficult times, however, it is not uppermost in our minds that "what goes around, comes around." It feels all too easy to be justifiably resentful or to gossip, or to ignore another's presence. And the repercussions are seldom immediate. They will come, though. Goodness is likewise repaid. Giving love, attention, respect to the individuals who share our lives and to the people who cross our paths by chance, will smooth our own passage day by day. The effects of our goodness will often be felt quickly. A smile elicits a smile. Kind thoughts bless us as well as the receiver. Life events do come full circle. With a bit of effort, I can smile at someone today, even though I'm frowning inside. Both will be better for it. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Making Life Easier Life doesn't have to be hard. Yes, there are times we need to endure, struggle through, and rely on our survival skills. But we don't have to make life, growth, recovery, change, or our day-to-day affairs that hard all the time. Having life be that hard is a remnant of our martyrdom, a leftover from old ways of thinking, feeling, and believing. We are worthy, even when life isn't that hard. Our value and worth are not determined by how hard we struggle. If we're making it that hard, we may be making it harder than it needs to be, said one woman. Learn to let things happen easily and naturally. Learn to let events, and our participation in them, fall into place. It can be easy now. Easier than it has been. We can go with the flow, take the world off our shoulders, and let our Higher Power ease us into where we need to be. Today, I will stop struggling so hard. I will let go of my belief that life and recovery have to be hard. I will replace it with a belief that I can walk this journey in ease and peace. And sometimes, it can actually be fun. I trust that I have all that I need in every moment of this day. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Your Heart Will Guide You Through If you feel confused, alone, unsure of what to do next, go back to a place you can trust– your heart. In matters of work, money, love, play, go back to your heart. The issues that arise in your life can be dealt with from the heart. You will be guided through gently, safely, with love and truth, along the path that’s best for you. Are you feeling upset? Do you wonder why things aren’t working out? Are you unsure of the map, uncertain of the next step, wondering how to untangle the mess of the past? The answer isn’t in your head, it’s in your heart. It’s not outside of you, although sometimes we receive guidance from others. The answer you’re seeking, the guidance you’re looking for needs to feel right to you. It needs to resonate with your heart. Your heart is the center, the balance point for your emotions, your intellect, and your soul. Your heart is safe. Go back to your heart. It will always lead you home. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax enough to face reality when life twists and turns Sometimes in life, no matter how deeply we intend to make the best decisions possible for ourselves, things happen. Marriages end, jobs turn sour, friends wane. For reasons outside our control or understanding, the situation twists and turns into something other than what we bargained for. Have you been waiting for a situation to revert to what it originally was–or what you hoped it would be when you got in? Are you telling yourself that there’s something wrong with you, when the reality is, the situation has changed into something other than what you thought it was? Things often don’t go as smoothly as we planned. Sometimes, we need to endure amd get through the rough spots. But I’m talking about those grindingly difficult moments when life suddenly twists on us. These are the times we need to quit torturing ourselves. Let go of what you thought would happen. If life has twisted on you, don’t turn on yourself. Don’t try to make things be the way they were. Come up to speed. Return to now. Let yourself accept the new situation at hand. The road isn’t always a straight course. Sometimes, even a path with heart unexpectedly twists and turns. God, help me relax and trust myself enough to deal with reality, not my fantasy of what I hoped it would be. ************************************************** In God’s Care Our immediate temptation will be to ask for specific solutions to specific problems, and for the ability to help other people as we have already thought they shoud be helped. In that case, we are asking God to do it our way. ~~Bill W. As much as we say we want God’s will to be done, we often find ourselves asking God to do what we think is best. Always, of course, with the best intentions. Who would not want a sick friend to get well, a spouse to earn a raise in pay? And what about our own needs? What’s the harm in a specific request? Surely we all do this. But isn’t it a bit presumptuous of us to decide what is best for ourselves or anyone else? Love and compassion may motivate our prayers, but only God knows what each or us needs to experience and learn. If we insist on seeing things happen our way we’re not trusting God’s plan for us. A loving God will see that our needs are supplied without instructions from us. Instead of asking for what I want, I will pray to be open to God’s will. ************************************ Day By Day Doing the footwork We often ask our Higher Power for spiritual assets without recognizing the work we need to do to get them. To grow strong, we must learn to carry burdens; to gain patience, we must learn to handle stress; to follow God’s will, we must become willing to let go. To be courageous, we must practice faith in the face of fear; to be right, we must learn to admit wrongs; to be loved, we must learn to be loving. Our Higher Power gives us opportunities to grow. The footwork is up to us. Am I doing my part? Higher Power, help me to recognize, and do, my part in recovery. Today I will do the footwork necessary to… ************************************ Just for Fun Remembering Childhood Joys by Madisyn Taylor Fun isn’t something that is given or done to you, it is something that you allow yourself to experience. As adults, we often get so caught up in “grown up” business that we can forget how to have pure fun. This isn’t the kind of fun that comes from doing a specific kind of activity or being in a specific mood for fun. Rather, this is the fun born from the state of pure being. You see this kind of fun in small children who are so busy being fully present to their lives and in their own bodies that the glow of fun radiates from them just because they are alive: the delight that flashes across the eyes of a child who discovers that water flows with the turn of the tap knob or the squeal of pleasure from a young baby whose tongue is being tickled by cold ice cream; then there’s the full, infectious laughter of a child watching the same hat trick for the fiftieth time. Back when we were children, this experience of pure delight didn’t have to come from a heightened, heady event in order for us to feel like our day had been made; and it can be that way for us again - if we are willing to remember and reconnect with that part of ourselves that knows how to be in the flow of fun. You can begin this process by reminiscing on what was fun for you as a child. Think about what caused you to giggle in delight or wriggle in pleasure or burst into endless laughter that you couldn’t sit up straight no matter how much you wanted to. Try to spend a few moments with each memory, and really feel what it was like to be in those experiences – allowing that feeling of pure fun to wash over you. It lives, in you – that feeling. It can’t be bottled, manufactured, or sold. You just have to call it back up in order to experience it again. Pure fun happens when we are fully engaged with ourselves and our world in each moment. It is the spontaneous delight that bubbles out of us when we let go long enough to bring it through; it is the experience of natural, organic pleasure that springs up from our bellies, through our souls, up through our faces, and down to our toes. We’ve naturally known how to have pure fun since we were babies and the flicker of lights caused us to jump to attention from the sheer enjoyment of being able to see. Approach your life today with the knowledge that pure fun isn’t something that is given or done to you; rather, it is something that you allow yourself to experience. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Refection For The Day The Program teaches us that only one consideration should qualify our desire to completely disclose the damage we’ve done. And that’s where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we’re making amends. Or, just as important, other people. We can hardly unload a detailed account of extramarital misadventures, for example, on the shoulders of an unsuspecting wife or husband. When we recklessly make the burdens of others wavier, such actions surely can’t lighten our own burden. Sometimes, in that sense, “telling all” may be almost a self indulgence for us. So in making amends, we should be tactful, sensible, considerate, and humble — without being servile. As a child of God, do I stand on my feet and not crawl before anyone? Today I Pray May God show me that self-hatred has no role in making amends to others. Neither has the play-acting of self-indulgence. I ask most humbly for His guidance as I strive to maintain a mature balance in interpersonal relations, even in the most casual or fragile ones. Today I Will Remember Making amends is mending. ************************************************** One More Day We can either change the complexities of life… or develop ways to enable us to cope more effectively. – Herbert Benson Our illnesses have brought many new complexities into our lives, and our reactions may become much more intense as time goes on — especially if we feel helpless or pity ourselves. All people have crises in their lives. Our medical conditions don’t give us immunity from the normal problems, pains, and disappointments that all of us must face. If anything, we may have an advantage over people who have never had health problems; we have learned some coping skills in dealing with our medical conditions. Also, we have become more open to advice and support from others. We can be proud of how far we’ve come; we can be optimistic of how far we can go. I will gladly exchange help and support with my friends. ************************************ Food for Thought Taking Inventory Blaming circumstances and other people for our difficulties, including compulsive overeating, is counterproductive. We cannot control external circumstances or other people, but we can work on changing ourselves. In order to change, we first need to be aware of the attitudes and characteristics, which get us into trouble. If we overeat or have a tantrum when we do not get our own way, then we need to learn how to function without demanding that everything should go according to our personal schedule and preference. We take inventory in Step Four and we continue to take it in Step Ten. It is a valuable tool for our growth. The amazing result is that as we recognize and begin to correct personal defects, our relationships with others improve tremendously. With a positive change in our attitude and behavior, there is a corresponding change in the way other people respond to us. Taking inventory involves recognizing our good qualities as well as our weaknesses. In OA, we measure our wealth not by what we have but by what we have given. Teach me to give. ***************************************** One Day At A Time KIND WORDS “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” Mother Teresa How many times are we gifted with newcomers to our meetings? They are so easy to see as they huddle in the back of the room -- usually as close to the exit as possible. Their oversized coat is a good giveaway, especially in July. Their eyes show the fear and anxiety that we all felt. Sure, we made it, and so can they. I remember the elder who first said those magical words to me -- those two simple words -- "Welcome Home." The warmth and safety those words held were immense. I felt that my body was huge, and I was embarrassed in a room full of people who looked very similar to me…but my eyes could not see that. They were filled with tears because of those two words. Welcome home. Whoever that person was, I have two words for you, "Thank you.” What can you do to make a newcomer feel welcome to your meeting? Let us not forget that all-important first hug. I remember mine; do you remember yours? It felt good, I'll bet. So welcome the newcomer and let them know they are home. One day at a time... I will do my part to welcome the newcomer into our fellowship. ~ Danny ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Some day we hope that every alcoholic who journeys will find a Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination. - Pg. 162 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One hour at a time leads to one day at a time in our recovery program. Each hour is one of 24 building blocks of each day of our sobriety and clean time. My current building block is to raise above fear and practice faith this hour. Projection Today, I understand that when I project my feelings outward and see them as belonging to other people and not to me, I postpone my own self-awareness. The only way I can deal with difficult feelings is first to claim them as my own. Sitting with anxiety, anger, rage and jealousy is not pleasant, but actually experiencing my own feelings is the only way to get through them. I own my feelings and am willing to experience them. - Tian Dayton PhD 'Self-forgiveness brings your mental and emotional energy systems back into balance. That's all. No big deal. It's not necessarily religious or spiritual, it's just good ol' street sense - the missing link in intelligence that scientists are looking for. Once you practice forgiving and releasing yourself, you'll realize the benefits soon in the way you feel overall.' - Doc Childre Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Ramana Marhrshi talks about life's journey and likens it to a train trip. He says that you can carry your baggage on your head or set it on the floor beside you. Either way, both you and your baggage arrive at your destination. This is because the train carries your baggage, not you. If you prefer to carry your burdens on your head, it doesn't change the destination, it simply gives you a head ache. I chose to let my Higher Power carry my baggage and my burdens. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You woke up this morning clean and sober. That's your spiritual awakening. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I trust that I have all that I need in every moment of this day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote A sober alcoholic is like a turtle on a fence post - You know it had help. - Anon. |
June 20
Daily Reflections RELEASE FROM FEAR The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 61 Most of my decisions were based on fear. Alcohol made life easier to face, but the time came when alcohol was no longer an alternative to fear. One of the greatest gifts in A.A. for me has been the courage to take action, which I can do with God's help. After five years of sobriety I had to deal with a heavy dose of fear. God put the people in my life to help me do that and, through my working the Twelve Steps, I am becoming the whole person I wish to be and, for that, I am deeply grateful. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day You should be ready and willing to carry the A.A. message when called upon to do so. Live for some purpose greater than yourself. Each day you will have something to work for. You have received so much from this program that you should have a vision that gives your life a direction and a purpose that gives meaning to each new day. Let us not slide along through life. Let us have a purpose for each day and let us make that purpose for something greater than just ourselves. What is my purpose for today? Meditation For The Day To see God with eyes of faith is to cause God's power to manifest itself in the material world. God cannot do His work because of unbelief. In response to your belief, God can work a miracle in your personality. All miracles happen in the realm of personality and all are caused by and based on belief in God's never-failing power. But God's power cannot manifest itself in personalities unless those personalities make His power available by their faith. We can only see God with the eyes of faith, but this kind of seeing produces a great change in our way of living. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may see God with the eyes of faith. I pray that this seeing will produce a change in my personality. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Dividends and Mysteries, p. 171 "The A.A. preoccupation with sobriety is sometimes misunderstood. To some, this single virtue appears to be the sole dividend of our Fellowship. We are thought to be dried-up drunks who otherwise have changed little, or not at all, for the better. Such a surmise widely misses the truth. We know that permanent sobriety can be attained only by a most revolutionary change in the life and outlook of the individual--by a spiritual awakening that can banish the desire to drink." << << << >> >> >> "You are asking yourself, as all of us must: 'Who am I?' . . . 'Where am I?' . . . 'Whence do I go?' The process of enlightenment is usually slow. But, in the end, our seeking always brings a finding. These great mysteries are, after all, enshrined in complete simplicity. The willingness to grow is the essence of all spiritual development." 1. Letter, 1966 2. Letter, 1955 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Estrangements Amends A number of alcoholics become estranged from members of their family. Sometimes these estrangements continue into sobriety and fester as a source of resentment. Where estrangements have occurred, we are always responsible for any wrongs on our part. We need to check carefully to make sure that pride and bitterness on our part aren=t prolonging the estrangement. But some of these estrangements have been chosen by others. We need to accept them if we've done everything possible to correct the problem. Honesty will be our guide as we look carefully at any estrangements in our rives. All that's ever necessary is that we use our best principles in dealing with any estrangements. If I find today that an estrangement is bothering me or others in the program, I'll examine it carefully with the thought that either making amends or acceptance might be required. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Order is heaven's first law.---Alexander Pope We need order in our lives. It makes life simpler for us. Life without order would be like driving in a large city without traffic signals. Our lives as addicts were like this. We lived with no plan, no order. Now that we're sober, we can put some order in our lives. We can get up every morning. We can make our beds and be on time for work. These things make life so much easier and nicer. we need this order. It allows us to depend on ourselves. We now look at the Twelve Steps to bring order to our lives. The Steps follow each other as summer follows spring. Do I allow myself to follow the natural order or do I fight it? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You've put order in this world. Please put order in my life. Let me flow within this order instead of being on my own. Action for the Day: The Twelve Steps have a natural order. Today I'll take time to read each Step and think about the order found in them. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning There were deep secrets, hidden in my heart, never said for fear others would scoff or sneer. At last I can reveal my sufferings, for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power. --Deidra Sarault There is magic in sharing ourselves with someone else. We learn from Steps Four and Five that what we thought were heinous acts are not unusual. Our shameful acts are not unique, and this discovery is our gift when we risk exposure. Realizing how much we are like others gives us strength, and the program paves the way for us to capture that strength whenever and wherever we sense our need. Secrets block us from others and thus from God too. The messages we need to hear, the guidance offered by God, can't be received when we close ourselves off from the caring persons in our lives. They are the carriers of God's message. How freeing to know we share the same fears, the same worries. Offering our story to someone else may be the very encouragement she needs at this time. Each of us profits from the sharing of a story. We need to recognize and celebrate our "sameness." When we share ourselves, we are bonded. Bonding combines our strength. Silence divides us. It diminishes our strength. Yet all the strength we need awaits us. I will let someone else know me today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: “God, I offer myself to Thee--to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!” We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him. p. 63 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. When I got back to my meeting. I told them what had happened. I don't know why--it was not like the old me to 'fess up to anything. They were concerned only whether I was still drinking. And I said, "No, I'm not." I was worried they were going to take my coin back. All they wanted to know was what I was going to do now. I had no idea. They did, however. They said I needed a sponsor--so I found a sponsor. They said I needed more meetings. "How many?" I wanted to know. They said I only had to go to meetings on days I would have had a drink. They said I needed to identify, not compare. I didn't know what they meant. What was the difference? Identifying, they said, was trying to see how I was like the people I was with. Comparing, they told me, was looking for differences, usually seeing how I was better than others. pp. 404-405 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." It occurred to us that we could take what we had into the factories and cause laborers and capitalists to love each other. Our uncompromising honesty might soon clean up politics. With one arm around the shoulder of medicine, we'd resolve their differences. Having learned to live so happily, we'd show everybody else how. Why, we thought, our Society of Alcoholics Anonymous might prove to be the spearhead of a new spiritual advance! We might transform the world. p. 156 ************************************************** ********* Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God; so precious that it's only given to us moment by moment. --Amelia Barr "Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die." --unknown Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind. --Anonymous The human contribution is the essential ingredient. It is only in the giving of oneself to others that we truly live. -- Ethel Percy Andrus A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. --Jonathan Swift "You can't fly a kite unless you go against the wind and have a weight to keep it from turning somersaults. The same with man. No man will succeed unless he is ready to face and overcome difficulties and is prepared to assume responsibilities." --William J. H. Boetcker *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation THOUGHT "Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought are commonly the most valuable." --Francis Bacon My mind sometimes races with ideas: What should I do? What should I write? Where should I go? Phrases that could prove useful in an article. People I need to get in contact with, etc., etc. Many of these ideas come late at night and so today I have a note pad and a pencil at the side of my bed so that I can write down the thought and then go back to sleep. I am not God. I know that if I say I will remember the thought tomorrow, it would be unrealistic. As an imperfect human being I take any help I can get. The pad at the side of the bed is invaluable! Let me employ discipline as an aid to joyful and creative living. ************************************************** ********* Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7 And in Him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. Ephesians 2:22 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:5-8 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Don't allow yourself to live in constant anticipation because the time for your happiness is right now. Lord, help me to see that no matter what, there is no better time for me than right now. Everywhere we turn, there is so much need and so little time. Lord, give me the desire to reach out to just one person in Your name and share my blessings. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Meditation For Beginners "For some, prayer is asking for God's help; meditation is listening for God's answer. Quieting the mind through meditation brings an inner peace that brings us into contact with the God within us." Basic Text, pp.44-45 "Be patient when you're learning to meditate," many of us were told. "It takes practice to know what to ‘listen’ for." We're glad someone told us that, or many of us would have quit after a week or two of meditating. For the first few weeks, we may have sat each morning, stilled our thoughts, and "listened", just as the Basic Text said-but "heard" nothing. It may have taken a few more weeks before anything really happened. Even then, what happened was often barely noticeable. We were rising from our morning meditations feeling just a little better about our lives, a little more empathy for those we encountered during the day, and a little more in touch with our Higher Power. For most of us, there was nothing dramatic in that awareness - no bolts of lightning or claps of thunder. Instead, it was something quietly powerful. We were taking time to get our egos and our ideas out of the way. In that clear space, we were improving our conscious contact with the source of our daily recovery, the God of our understanding. Meditation was new, and it took time and practice. But, like all the steps, it worked - when we worked it. Just for today: I will practice "listening" for knowledge of God's will for me, even if I don't know what to "listen" for yet. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The most valuable thing we can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room, not to try to do or be anything whatsoever. --May Sarton A whole world can be seen through even the smallest window. Knowing this can help us slow down and enjoy everyday events. We can listen to the regular rhythms of letter carriers and school children, dogs and delivery trucks, city buses and song birds playing out a piece of their daily lives outside the window. We can greet the letter carrier who comes up the walk, feed the robin who lands on the sill, wave to the kids who've found a shortcut through our backyards on their way home from school. It is not necessary, today, for us to fill our lives with important meetings, gala parties, expensive treats, toys, or outings to be happy. There is a whole world to be discovered just outside the nearest window. What worlds lie on the other side of my window today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. "Wait'll next year!" is the favorite cry of baseball fans, football fans, hockey fans, and gardeners. --Robert Orben Hope was a casualty for many of us in our life of chaos and extremes. Some of us said to ourselves, "Life is just drab, I'd better get used to it." We may have slowly changed our definition of normal to mean a hopeless existence. Others of us held onto some shred of hope that said "Better times are just around the comer," but it only kept us from confronting how disastrous our lives had become. We are brothers in that we truly have been men on a dead-end path. Our new lives have seen the dawning of true hope that has a solid base upon reality. We have the reality of friendships with our brothers and sisters. They provide comfort and support which are reliable and durable. We have the reality of our clearer thinking and our amended lives. We may not have everything we could desire, but we are actually on the road and progressing in directions we wish to go. We are engaged in the adventure of increasing our conscious contact with God. Our hope is founded in what we already feel in our lives. Today, nothing is perfect, but hope underlies everything. With the return of hope, I have my life back again. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There were deep secrets, hidden in my heart, never said for fear others would scoff or sneer. At last I can reveal my sufferings, for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power. --Deidra Sarault There is magic in sharing ourselves with someone else. We learn from Steps Four and Five that what we thought were heinous acts are not unusual. Our shameful acts are not unique, and this discovery is our gift when we risk exposure. Realizing how much we are like others gives us strength, and the program paves the way for us to capture that strength whenever and wherever we sense our need. Secrets block us from others and thus from God too. The messages we need to hear, the guidance offered by God, can't be received when we close ourselves off from the caring persons in our lives. They are the carriers of God's message. How freeing to know we share the same fears, the same worries. Offering our story to someone else may be the very encouragement she needs at this time. Each of us profits from the sharing of a story. We need to recognize and celebrate our "sameness." When we share ourselves, we are bonded. Bonding combines our strength. Silence divides us. It diminishes our strength. Yet all the strength we need awaits us. I will let someone else know me today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Relationship Martyrs Many of us have gone so numb and discounted our feelings so completely that we have gotten out of touch with our needs in relationships. We can learn to distinguish whose company we enjoy, whether we're talking about friends, business acquaintances, dates, or spouses. We all need to interact with people we might prefer to avoid, but we don't have to force ourselves through long term or intimate relationships with these people. We are free to choose friends, dates, and spouses. We are free to choose how much time we spend with those people we can't always choose to be around, such as relatives. This is our life. This is it. We can decide how we want to spend our days and hours. We're not enslaved. We're not trapped. And not one of us is without options. We may not see our options clearly. Although we may have to struggle through shame and learn to own our power, we can learn to spend our valuable hours and days with the people we enjoy and choose to be with. God, help me value my time and life. Help me place value on how I feel being around certain people. Guide me as I learn to develop healthy, intimate, sharing relationships with people. Help me give myself the freedom to experiment, explore, and learn who I am and who I can be in my relationships. My past experience no longer take up room and live in my mind and body. I am free to live in today. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart You Are a Perfect Balance of Yin and Yang I trudged to the top of the mesa in Sedona. A woman I’d met had told me what to look for. There it was: a rock formation, a naturally formed statue. On the left side, the formation looked like a woman, an Egyptian goddess with necklace and breasts. On the right, it had taken the shape of a male. I found it immediately. A statue with two sides– one male, one female. For many years, I denied the feminine part of God, of the universe, of myself. I thought my strength and my power had to come from other parts, other sides. I resented my femininity, raged about it, because I thought being feminine meant being helpless and powerless. But I’ve learned something along the way. There is power in the feminine and power in the masculine. Both parts are in us. Both parts are valuable. Our strength, courage, protectiveness and feminine energy, the yin and the yang in yourself, the universe, the people around you. Both parts are important. Both can be trusted. Learn to let them work together in harmony. Climb to the top of the mountain. Look around. See the perfect balance of masculine and feminine. Let that balance come alive in you. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax and face the truth Sometimes, we have to face things we’d rather not see. That person we’ve been dating just isn’t someone who is good for us. Our spouse isn’t just a social drinker, he or she has a serious problem with alcohol. Our child isn’t just being a cute little child anymore, making up silly stories; that child is lying and stealing from us. Sometimes, these moments of truth are big bombs in our lives. Other times, we run from those smaller moments of truth– we’ve done something that hurt someone, no matter how defensive and innocent we pretended to be, and we need to face up to that. Maybe our children have grown up and left home and we;ve been running from that truth, pretending that we still need to center our lives around them. Or maybe the truth is, we are feeling angry, abandoned, or hurt. We all have moments of truth in our lives. I was talking to a friend one day. He had been complaining that his air purifier didn’t work. I was going to the repair shop, so I offered to take his machine in and get it fixed. “It’s plugged in,” he said. “I got it to turn on, and I can’t afford to be without it.” “You’ve got it turned on, but it’s not working right?” I asked. “You’re without it now.” Relax. Let your illusions go. Turn and face whatever you’re running from. Not facing the truth doesn’t make the truth go away, no matter how much we hope it will. If you’ve been running from the truth in some area of your life, gently begin to face what you’ve preferred to avoid. The power is in the truth. God, help me let go of my illusions. Help me understand the power that comes when I take the time to see clearly and have my moments of truth. ************************************************** In God’s Care The crucial task of old age is blance. ~~Florida Scott Maxdwell Finding balance is important at any age, not just when we’re old. We need balance in our diet, between work and rest, in our emotional life – any activity is more rewarding, more life enhancing when done in moderation., Most of us developed a belief that if a little of something is good, then a whole lot is better. Had we been able to practice moderation, we would not be sharing this fellowship today. It’s paradoxical that our drive to live on the edge, doing everyting to extreme, has rewarded us with a program for living quite a distance from the edge. Many a friend or sponsor has suggested Easy Does It; Let Go and Let God; One Day at a Time. These slogans are simple and yet profound reminders to find balance and quiet moderation in all our activities. We can only fully know and appreciate this moment if we’re participating in it, not racing to the next thought, hour, or day. Today I can enjoy moderation with the knowledge it will enhance my life. ************************************************** ************** Day By Day Looking for beauty It is important that we look for beauty. There are beautiful things in the world each and every day, if we only know how to see. In recovery, in serenity, beauty is everywhere – even in pain and suffering – if we only know how to see. How good am I at seeing all the beauty there is to see? Higher Power, help me to use my recovery, my new vision, to see beauty. Today I will practice looking for beauty in… ************************************************** ************** Food for Thought Head Hunger Those of us who overeat are responding to distorted signals. When we consume food that harms rather than helps our bodies, we are eating in response to some irrational demand in our head rather than because of legitimate physical hunger. The mental obsession with food is an illusion, but one to which we cling with great tenacity. When we feel “hungry,” we need to stop and evaluate the signal. Is it coming from our stomach or from our head? Often, it is after a meal that we most strongly crave something more to eat. This is either because we ate so fast that our stomach has not had time to register satisfaction or because eating has awakened a giant, insatiable appetite for more. It is frequently our mind that wants more, even after our body has had quite enough. Emotions such as fear, anger, and anxiety can trigger “head hunger.” We need perception and insight to know whether the hunger comes from our body or our mind. May I learn to respond to the legitimate needs of my body. ************************************************** ************** Technology as Distraction Choosing True Connections by Madisyn Taylor By always using our cell phones, texting and surfing the Internet, we actually become less connected and more distracted. We are often lured by the promise of new technologies to make our lives easier and help connect us to others. While they do so in many ways, they also present each of us with opportunities to make new choices about how we spend our time and invest our energy. Most gadgets are generally meant to improve the quality of our lives, but it is when we spend too much time with them that they actually do the opposite. By always using our portable emailers, cell phones, video games, and surfing the Internet, we actually become less connected and more distracted. By becoming aware of these tendencies, we harness the power to overcome them and make better choices for ourselves and our families. Once we decide to consciously put our gadgets to work for us, we become masters of our time. We can give our full attention to whatever we are doing and not let phone conversations and other distractions take the place of human contact. Each of us has the ability to consciously choose to be more present in our lives. We can decide at any time to leave our gadgets behind and become aware of the sights and sounds around us in order to expand our awareness and be fully present in our bodies and our surroundings. When we use our discernment about how we invest our personal energy, we can be sure that we choose only the best for ourselves and those we love. Our gadgets can be useful tools for our journey in the material world, but we must not forget that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and that means interacting with people on a personal level. Choices that enliven us and help us feel connected to our world and our loved ones always deserve our full attention and presence of mind, body, and spirit. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be absolutely honest. Obviously, though, indiscriminate “absolute honesty” would blow the roof off many a house and entirely destroy some relationships. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we may need to hold something back by discretion and consideration of others. Just when and how we tell the truth — or keep silent — can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all. Am I grateful for the products of truth which, through the grace of God, I have been privileged to receive? Today I Pray May I have the wisdom to know the fine-line difference between tact and dishonesty. In my eagerness to make restitution, may I not be the charmer, the flatterer or the crawler who insists, “You’re so good, and I’m so bad.” All are forms of dishonesty and hark back to the role-playing days of my active addiction. May I recognize them. Today I Will Remember Tact is honest selectivity. ************************************************** One More Day Be content to grow a little each day. If the improvement is the sort of thing which is very slow, do not measure it too often. Do a self-comparison every two weeks, or every six months — whatever is appropriate. – Lewis F. Presnall It’s now easy to change the way our minds have been set, but sometimes we really need to sit back and tak3e stock of how we have chosen to live — in both large and small ways. We may realize that we are racing about without so much as a moment for our own well-being. We might even delude ourselves that we enjoy what we are doing so much that it is for our well-being. What matters most is that we vary the pace of our days. We need the fast times, but the slower, easier times are essential for our total health — emotional, physical, social, and spiritual. I will slow down and spend some quiet time with myself today. ***************************************** One Day At A Time STRUGGLE “Our way is not soft grass, it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upward, forward,toward the sun.” Ruth Westheimer I've been in a Twelve Step program for a while now. When I look back, I sometimes think how easy the journey has been to find the peace, serenity and love I've been given -- thanks to the program. I brought a lot of denial with me when I joined the program, and apparently I'm still in some denial. I'm so grateful to be where I am today that I have forgotten the struggles I've faced to get here. No wonder some newcomers look at longtimers and think they'll never be able to get there! When I stretch my memory, I remember running headlong into the Fourth Step and thinking it the scariest thing I'd ever faced in my life. I know that first one was traumatic--holding my pencil to do it, getting the first page down, and admitting so many things that had been shaming me for decades. I usually don't think about that today. Now I know firsthand the cleansing of a good Fourth Step and I look forward to them as I peel the onion and find more defects. When I look back over my journey, I can remember sitting in an emergency room using the slogan "One Day at a Time" for the first time. I changed "one day" to "five minutes" because it was all I could handle. But it got me through that day and the next two days. A few years ago I read that the slogans are the handrails to the Steps. I wish I'd known that before. For me to use that slogan when I did was an act of faith ~ and at the time my faith was shaky. After having proved to my satisfaction that there is a Higher Power out there who wants the best for me, I have faith now. Maybe this is why I look back on my journey and have a hard time finding the struggles. Maybe it's my new attitude of gratitude that keeps me looking to the positive rather than the negative. Whatever the reason, I'd like to say that I struggled in the program, but it was worth it. One day at a time... I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity,especially through the bad times. ~ Rhonda ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken. - Pg. 86 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The best decision you have ever made is to opt for the health that sobriety and clean time will give you. If the decision was someone else's then your decision to accept it was the best one ever made. You will gain a new perspective on life and for this you need to thank yourself. As I thank myself, I also thank any others, including a Higher Power, as I understand Him / Her, for giving me another hour without mind-affecting chemicals. Inner Belief I believe in this world; it is the place that I have been born into. I love the breeze and the grass, the sky and the water. I have an intimate exchange with nature - like a lover. I feel held and nourished by it. I believe in people; they are the species to which I belong. I recognize that, underneath our superficial differences, we all want and need the same things. I believe that truth and goodness will prevail. I have experienced and seen more healing than I thought would ever happen. I feel good with small gains. I see deep meaning in quiet things, and I am moved by a power that I cannot explain but that I sense inside and out. Today, I feel good. I believe in life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Trying to pray is praying, even when we aren't sure exactly what God wants from us. Trying means we have the desire to communicate with the Divine Source. Even if no words come, just hitting your knees means a prayer has occurred. My healing begins in kneeling. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Pray and wait for the answer. If you don't get an answer, that's the answer. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My past experience no longer take up room and live in my mind and body. I am free to live in today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote 'When you think that you've lost everything. You find that you can always lose a little more.' - Bob Dylan. Tying To Get To Heaven' |
June 21
Daily Reflections FEAR AND FAITH The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other condition of insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion - well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263 Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith. There are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I'm experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart. Faith--and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -helps me endure tragedy and ecstasy. When I choose to give all of my fears over to my Higher Power, I will be free. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Intelligent faith in that Power greater than ourselves can be counted on to stabilize our emotions. It has an incomparable capacity to help us look at life in balanced perspective. We look up, around, and away from ourselves, and we see that nine out of ten things that at the moment upset us will shortly disappear. Problems solve themselves, criticism and unkindness vanish as though they had never been. Have I got the proper perspective toward life? Meditation For The Day A truly spiritual man or woman would like to have a serene mind. The only way to keep calm in this troubled world is to have a serene mind. The calm and sane mind sees spiritual things as the true realities and material things as only temporary and fleeting. That sort of mind you can never obtain by reasoning, because your reasoning powers are limited by space and time. That kind of a mind you can never obtain by reading, because other minds are also limited in the same way. You can only have that mind by an act of faith, by making the venture of belief. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have a calm and sane mind. I pray that I may look up, around, and away from myself. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It This Matter of Honesty, p. 172 "Only God can fully know what absolute honesty is. Therefore, each of us has to conceive what this great ideal may be--to the best of our ability. "Fallible as we all are, and will be in this life, it would be presumption to suppose that we could ever really achieve absolute honesty. The best we can do is to strive for a better quality of honesty. "Sometimes we need to place love ahead of indiscriminate 'factual honesty.' We cannot, under the guise of 'perfect honesty,' cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Always one must ask, 'What is the best and most loving thing I can do?'" Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Remember the Golden Key Living in the Spirit Whenever trouble arises, the first thing to do is to turn it over to our Higher Power. We can take all necessary practical steps to solve a problem, but we don't need to decide what the answer may be. Do this, and you'll soon be out of your difficulty. This is essentially the formula of the Gold Key as taught by Emmet Fox. It is also the core idea os Steps three and Eleven. It is a manner of living one's life iwht the constant knowledge that a Higher Power is always part of it. We should also condition ourselves to believe that our Higher Power has been with us all along and will continue to show us the way. Nothing depends on our being "spiritual" or "saintly" or perfect in behavior. With all our shortcomings, we are and ever will be children of God. My Higher Power is always with me today, supplying whatever I need for the accomplishment of any good purpose. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The future is much like the present, only longer.---Dan Quisenberry In many way we don't know what the future holds. But in terms of recovery, we know the future holds the Twelve steps. They will be with us for life. We should never fall into the trap of thinking we "know" the program. We'll never know all the truth and love the Steps hold for us. "Knowing the Steps" is a project we'll never finish. As we change , the Steps change. As the seasons come and go, the same field or the same tree becomes a different picture. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I pray for Your help as I work the Steps and continue my recovery. Help me discover new treasures. Action for the Day: I will ask long-time members of my program how they keep the program fresh and alive. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are interesting monologues, that is all. --Rebecca West How often we want to be heard, to be truly listened to by our spouse, our children, friends and co-workers. And we deserve to be fully attended to. So do the other persons in our lives who come to us to be heard. We let our minds wander in the midst of important messages. And we may miss the very phrase that we need to hear--the answer to a problem, perhaps. Our minds wander, randomly, looking for a place to light, unconsciously searching for peace, the serenity promised by the Twelve Steps. Living fully in the present, soaking up all the responses of the life we are immersed in for the moment, is the closest we can get to our higher power, our God. Being there--fully--is conversation with God. How can we know all that God intends for us to know if we don't take advantage of God's many messages? Every moment of every day offers us information, divine information. Each time we turn our minds away to self-centered thoughts, we're refusing the chance to grow. As I come together with friends and family today, I will remember to listen for God's message. I will hear what I need to hear if I will but listen. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand. The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once. p. 63 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. One day we were talking about spiritual awakenings. Everyone talked a little about what happened to them and when and how and all that. Then it came my turn. I said hadn't had one yet, but I was open to it. pp. 405 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." Yes, we of A.A. did dream those dreams. How natural that was, since most alcoholics are bankrupt idealists. Nearly every one of us had wished to do great good, perform great deeds, and embody great ideals. We are all perfectionists who, failing perfection, have gone to the other extreme and settled for the bottle and the blackout. Providence, through A.A., had brought us within reach of our highest expectations. So why shouldn't we share our way of life with everyone? p. 156 ************************************************** ********* Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out. --Art Linkletter It is in the silence of the heart that God speaks. --Mother Teresa "Our entire life--consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are." --Jean Anouilh "You are infinitely lovable, infinitely desirable, because the One who most desires and loves you is also infinite." --Deepak Chopra You will find that the spiritual energy will permit you to perform tasks far beyond your conditioned capacity in terms of time and accomplishment. --John-Roger Gratitude is the memory of the heart. --Italian Proverb God, help me stay serene, confident, and joyful as I go through my day. --Melody Beattie *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation LIES "The cruelest lies are often told in silence." --Robert Louis Stevenson In treatment I said that I did not "tell" many lies - and although this was not true (hence a lie), it missed the fact that most of my lies were "lies of silence". It was what I did not say that produced the confusion; the pretended self-confidence that hid the pain and shame; the half-spoken truth that harbored the disease. Communication is the key to any spiritual relationship and a sick silence creates the ultimate blasphemy. God created you and me to relate. In the interchange of our ideas is the miracle born. A sick, angry and ego-centered silence is our shouted "no" to God. O Lord of the paradox, let me see how the lie of silence can be used to destroy my world. ************************************************** ********* "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." Ephesians 6:11 "For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." I John 3:20b You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13 "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you." Luke 6:27-28 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Set aside time for quiet because it is here that you will come to know yourself and to know God. Lord, the distractions and interruptions of my day are many, but for a few moments each day we will talk. When life seems hard and filled with troubles, look for reasons to be thankful. Lord, Your beautiful presence is always with me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today New Levels Of Honesty "We have been experts at self-deception and rationalization." Basic Text, p. 27 When we come to our first meeting and hear that we must be honest, we may think, "Well now, that shouldn't be too difficult. All I have to do is stop lying." To some of us, this comes easily. We no longer have to lie to our employers about our absence from work. We no longer have to lie to our families about where we were the night before. By not using drugs anymore, we find we have less to lie about. Some of us may have difficulty even with this kind of honesty, but at least learning not to lie is simple - you just don't do it, no matter what. With courage, determined practice, the support of our fellow NA members, and the help of our Higher Power, most of us eventually succeed at this kind of honesty. Honesty, though, means more than just not lying. The kind of honesty that is truly indispensable in recovery is self-honesty, which is neither easy nor simple to achieve. In our addiction, we created a storm of self-deception and rationalization, a whirlwind of lies in which the small, quiet voice of self-honesty could not be heard. To become honest with ourselves, we first must stop lying to ourselves. In our Eleventh Step meditations, we must become quiet. Then, in the resulting stillness, we must listen for truth. When we become silent, self-honesty will be there for us to find. Just for today: I will be quiet and still, listening for the voice of truth within myself. I will honor the truth I find. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. To be able to invite pain to join in my experience and not have to control my life to avoid pain is such a freedom! --Christina Baldwin If we really stopped to think about it, we would be astounded to discover how much of our time is spent trying to avoid pain. We are afraid to say what we think or tell others our needs because we fear rejection. We are afraid to face the pain of our own anger. We are afraid of telling others who we are. When we are afraid of opening up to others for fear they will hurt us, we are not free, we are prisoners of our own fears. Pain is a natural part of life, and we are gifted with the ability to feel it. Pain teaches us, makes us work harder sometimes, and it helps us appreciate pleasure. When we accept pain, and stop exhausting ourselves trying to avoid it, we will be free to live life more fully and without so much worry. How has my own fear limited my freedom? You are reading from the book Touchstones. In the life of the Indian there is only one inevitable duty - the duty of prayer - the daily recognition of the Unseen and Eternal. He sees no need for setting apart one day in seven as a holy day, since to him all days are God's. --Ohiyesa, Santee Dakota Some of our past troubles came from our naive arrogance. We failed to acknowledge anything beyond ourselves. Whatever was unseen or eternal remained invisible to us. We were skeptical, scientific, task-oriented, self-centered, and unreflective. It's like we had been racing down a country highway at top speed, hardly tuned in to the rich vitality of life that surrounded us. When we stopped the car and explored the road banks, we could suddenly smell the grasses, hear birds singing, perhaps see a whole community in an anthill, or watch a darting squirrel. Coming to believe in a Power greater than ourselves is not something we create on our own. It is largely a matter of shifting our attention, of being open to the spiritual. We don't need to force it. We need only be willing to quiet ourselves and notice. Ultimately, every moment is sacred. Today, may I live from moment to moment. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are interesting monologues, that is all. --Rebecca West How often we want to be heard, to be truly listened to by our spouse, our children, friends and co-workers. And we deserve to be fully attended to. So do the other persons in our lives who come to us to be heard. We let our minds wander in the midst of important messages. And we may miss the very phrase that we need to hear--the answer to a problem, perhaps. Our minds wander, randomly, looking for a place to light, unconsciously searching for peace, the serenity promised by the Twelve Steps. Living fully in the present, soaking up all the responses of the life we are immersed in for the moment, is the closest we can get to our higher power, our God. Being there--fully--is conversation with God. How can we know all that God intends for us to know if we don't take advantage of God's many messages? Every moment of every day offers us information, divine information. Each time we turn our minds away to self-centered thoughts, we're refusing the chance to grow. As I come together with friends and family today, I will remember to listen for God's message. I will hear what I need to hear if I will but listen. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. The Good Feelings Let yourself feel the good feelings too. Yes, sometimes-good feelings can be as distracting as the painful, more difficult ones. Yes, good feelings can be anxiety producing to those of us unaccustomed to them. But go ahead and feel the good feelings anyway. Feel and accept the joy. The love. The warmth. The excitement. The pleasure. The satisfaction. The elation. The tenderness. The comfort. Let yourself feel the victory, the delight. Let yourself feel cared for. Let yourself feel respected, important, and special. These are only feelings, but they feel good. They are full of positive, upbeat energy - and we deserve to feel that when it comes our way. We don't have to repress. We don't have to talk ourselves out of feeling good--not for a moment. If we feel it, it's ours for the moment. Own it. If it's good, enjoy it. Today, God, help me be open to the joy and good feelings available to me. "Faith is the thread we hang on to when our life is falling apart" --Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse Sometimes faith is right there, holding us up, keeping us light so that hard times feel manageable. And other times we have to 'act as if' we have faith to get through the tough times. We have to pray for faith. It feels so good to know that no matter what is going on today, I have the faith to know that my Higher Power is guiding and supporting me. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart You’re Right Where You Need to Be You’re right where you need to be– on your path, guided, in just the right place for you today. Many times on my journey I stopped short, convinced I would never find the place I was trying to find, only to discover that it was right in front of me all the time. I had gone there instinctively. Gone right where I needed to go, right where I was heading. There is a part of us that knows where we need to be and understands where we really want to go. There’s a place in us that has the map, even if our eyes and conscious mind can’t see it, can’t figure it out, or aren’t certain it’s there. If you’re spinning in circles, feeling lost and confused, trying to figure out where you need to be and not all that certain where you’re going,stop. Breathe deeply. Look around. You’re right where you need to be. Maybe you’ve been there all along. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Calm yourself first Calm yourself. Many incidents will come to pass in our lives. Sometimes, things happen to get our attention, to point the next lesson out, to help guide us along our path. Sometimes, things just happen. Our emotional responses to the world are important. How do you feel? What do you like? What don’t you like? Have you been denying something, something taking place before your eyes? What we sense, what we feel, and, more important, what we know deep inside is an important part of our spirit, our connection to the Divine. It’s important not to underreact. It’s important not to overreact. When something comes up, calm yourself. Feel your emotions. Don’t move into denial. Feel each wave of each feeling. Allow your thoughts to pass through you. But the key is not to act on these emotions. Let them pass through you first. Your power comes from being centered and clear. That’s where your answers, insights, and lessons will come from,too. The first thing to do when something happens is feel what you feel. The second is calm yourself. From that place of calm, you’ll be guided into your next step. God, teach me to take guided action, not action motivated by turbulent emotions. ************************************************** *********** In God’s Care It is well, when one is judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality. ~~Arnold Bennett It’s amazing how well we know our friends and how we think they should behave. And isn’t it interesting that what we want others to do always benefits us in some way? When we are upset with people, it’s usually because they have failed to fulfill an assignment we have mentally given them – or because their errors are a little too much like our own. We couldn’t fairly or accurately judge people without knowing an infinite number of things about them. And we would have to know how those things influenced their judgment. Too, we would have to be sure that our perception was without flaw before we could judge fairly. God, of course, is the only competent judge of anyone. Only God knows everyone’s past, present, and future. Only God can be fair. What, then, are we doing in the judge’s chair? My only judgment is that I’m not competent to judge anyone. ************************************************** ************ Day By Day Dealing with problems Eventually we reach a point in recovery where one trying incident doesn’t have to ruin the whole day. We reach a point where we’re less sensitive or emotional. We learn to take each day with everything in it. We learn to take each day with humor, acceptance, and love. This is not to say that we become doormats; it just means we’re going to find ways to calm down and not complicate existing problems. Just for today, let’s leave all our trials and complications to our Higher Power. Am I learning to be less sensitive or emotional? Higher Power, when I start to feel the pressure of today’s tribulations, help me remember that you can handle anything. My plan for handling problems today is… ************************************************** ********** The Day the Sun Stands Still The Summer Solstice by Madisyn Taylor Summer solstice represents a time to reflect upon the blessings we have received in seasons past and look toward new growth. On the longest day of the year, the sun, which has on the days preceding seemed to rise higher and higher into the sky, reaches its zenith and rises no more. This day, which in the Northern Hemisphere can occur between the 20th and 23rd of June, marks the start of summer and is known as the summer solstice. From time immemorial, the coming of summer’s light and warmth has been a time of gladness and celebration. In June, the snows had long since melted, the ground had thawed, the first fruits were ripening on their vines, and Mother Nature had once again renewed herself. Though most of us have turned away from our agricultural heritage, the summer solstice remains a time of new beginnings and life-enriching endings. It is the day the sun reaches the peak of its power as well as the day that heralds the shorter days that eventually bring with them autumn’s chills. For ancient peoples of the Americas and Europe, the summer solstice was a particularly joyous day—and one auspicious for those seeking year-long luck, fertility, abundance, and prosperity. Men and women on two continents would gather to pay tribute to the sun’s magnificence, to pray for a bountiful harvest, and to bolster the sun’s energy with bonfires and fireworks. Today, the summer solstice represents an optimal time to reflect upon the blessings we have received in seasons past and visualize the new bounties we hope to receive in the season just beginning to flourish. At noon, when the sun is at its highest point, we can pay reverence to its incredible strength and its ability to create life while also musing on the impermanence of life as represented by the impermanence of the season. You can reestablish your innate connection to nature on the summer solstice by spending time outdoors; following the sun’s procession as the day passes; burning sun oils such as orange, be! nzion, or juniper; or decorating an altar with solar images, summer greens, or colorful blossoms. Just as the summer solstice is symbolic of agricultural growth, so is it symbolic of personal growth. It is a wonderful time to nurture your potential as you would nurture a tiny seedling and let your creative energy express itself fully. On the summer solstice, you may feel compelled to emulate the noontime sun and be at one with the world around you or to let your inner brilliance shine forth at full strength, if only for a single day. Your life, like the seasons, follows a cycle of birth, death, and rebirth, and summers, whether literal or figurative, can always be celebrated. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “Direct” is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times, unfortunately, where many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrong-doings of the past. It shows that we’re still trying to defend something that isn’t worth defending, hanging on to conduct that we ought to abandon. The usual reasons for sidestepping direct amends are pride and fear. As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me? Today I Pray May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own. But may I avoid making amends purely for my own benefit — to be forgiven, to be reinstated, to flaunt the “new me.” Ego-puffing and people-leasing are not part of the real “new me.” God save me from opportunism. Today I Will Remember No puffery or people-pleasing. ************************************************** One More Day One cloud is enough to eclipse all the sun. – Thomas Fuller Sometimes a beautiful day suddenly falls to pieces because of a criticism from a friend or being stuck in traffic before an important appointment. Later we may have wondered why one small happening could overshadow other happy events. Quite possible the answer lies within us and our expectations. if we expect each day and all our relationships to be without mishaps or misunderstandings, we set ourselves up to be disappointment. If we direct our energies toward pleasing our friends and relatives at the expense of our own needs and values, we are placing too much responsibility in their hands. We can have more rewarding days when our expectations are realistic. Each day will have unexpected delays or unappreciated remarks, but they are just a scattering of clouds in a bright, wide, wonderful sky. I will have more realistic expectations. ************************************************** Food for Thought. Discipline If we think of discipline in terms of punishment, we miss the more constructive meanings of the word. Discipline is order, training, practice, study. Without it, our lives are ineffective and full of chaos. Before we came to OA, our eating patterns were probably chaotic. We may have been short of order in other areas, too. Discipline is a tool which produces self-respect and a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. When we discipline ourselves to eat three measured meals a day, we achieve physical and emotional results which make our spirits sing! The discipline of the OA program liberates us from the tyranny of self-will and self-indulgence. As we develop trust in our Higher Power, we begin to see that the hardships and difficulties we face are means to spiritual development. Through them, we acquire self-discipline and strength. Our lives become ordered according to God's plan. Make me willing, Lord, to accept the discipline of an ordered life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time A Person of Worth “It is funny about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it.” W. Somerset Maugham Upon entering recovery, I found it ironic, even strange, that I was so very good at taking care of others and helping them secure the help that they needed, yet often in my life I have not done this for myself. I would grow depressed and very frozen in anger, grief, and fear. Why wasn’t I ever able to care properly for myself? At what point did I begin to expect the worst as my own allotment in life? It is possible that I dreamed of a “rescue” or an intervention of some kind that would “save me.” It is likely that my Higher Power knew of my tendencies for magical thinking. He caught my attention by the introduction of someone who knew of a program that would point me in a realistic direction. In this program, I would be taught to take small actions -- “One day at a time” -- that would encourage and re-build my shattered self-esteem. I now am in possession of a wonderful program that has given me tools for recovery and change so that I can learn to treat myself as well as I treat others. One day at a time... I no longer accept anything but the best, as it will indirectly affect my recovery. This is my new mindset: that I am a person of worth. ~ January K. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote In the spring of 1940, John D. Rockefeller, Jr. gave a dinner for many of his friends to which he invited A.A. members to tell their stories. News of this got on the world wires; inquiries poured in again and many people went to the bookstores to get the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous.' By March 1941 the membership had shot up to 2,000. Then Jack Alexander wrote a feature article in the SATURDAY EVENING POST and placed such a compelling picture of A.A. before the general public that alcoholics in need of help really deluged us. By the close of 1941, A.A. numbered 8,000 members. The mushrooming process was in full swing. A.A. had become a national institution. - Pg. xviii - 4th. Edition - Foreward To Second Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote As we learn to accept our disease, our circumstances and what we must do to recover, we come to realize that although we may not have control over these situations, we do have control over how we react to them. Bill W., co-founder of 12-step programs, wrote 'We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we were free.' I chose to accept this wonderful opportunity to grow spiritually and know this 'new freedom and new happiness' of which they speak. Personal Truth Today, I know that no one from my past needs to see things the way I do for me to get better and move on. Trying to convince others of what I have learned through my own journey can be an exercise in futility and delay my progress. First of all, each of us has our own truth that is unique unto itself. Second of all, each of us is at a different level of understanding and acceptance of who and where we are in life. Each member in my family had different experiences. That I thought we somehow matched up was an illusion. We each experienced our childhoods in our own way and have a right to our own perceptions. I do not have to get anyone to see it my way in order for me to feel comfortable. My truth is my truth, theirs is theirs. I honor my own experiences and personal truth, as well as those of others. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There is a difference between sharing our experience and imposing our opinions on someone. A sure way to set yourself up for a 'slip' is to be convinced that others will slip if they don't listen to your opinion. When my opinion means more to me than my sobriety, I set myself up for a SLIP (Sobriety Loses Its Priority). "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book In AA, we surrender to win, not to whine. Time for Joy - Book - Quote 'Faith is the thread we hang on to when our life is falling apart' - Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse Sometimes faith is right there, holding us up, keeping us light so that hard times feel manageable. And other times we have to 'act as if' we have faith to get through the tough times. We have to pray for faith. It feels so good to know that no matter what is going on today, I have the faith to know that my Higher Power is guiding and supporting me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote For an alcoholic, drinking alcohol is like dancing with a gorilla; you're only finished dancing when the gorilla says so. Tom W. |
June 22
Daily Reflections TODAY, I'M FREE This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal power--that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 114 I am learning to practice acceptance in all circumstances of my life, so that I may enjoy peace of mind. At one time life was a constant battle because I felt I had to go through each day fighting myself, and everyone else. Eventually, this became a losing battle. I ended up getting drunk and crying over my misery. When I began to let go and let God take over my life I began to have peace of mind. Today, I am free. I do not have to fight anybody or anything anymore. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day If you have any doubt, just ask any of the older members of the A.A. group, and they will readily tell you that since they turned their lives over to the care of God as they understand Him, many of their problems have been banished into the forgotten yesterdays. When you allow yourself to be upset over one thing, you succeed only in opening the door to the coming of hundreds of other upsetting things. Am I allowing myself to be upset over little things? Meditation For The Day I would do well not to think of the Red Sea of difficulties that lies ahead. I am sure that when I come to that Red Sea, the waters will part and I will be given all the power I need to face and overcome many difficulties and meet what is in store for me with courage. I believe that I will pass through that Red Sea to the promised land, the land of the spirit where many souls meet in perfect comradeship. I believe that when that time comes, I will be freed of all the dross of material things and find peace. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may face the future with courage. I pray that I may be given strength to face both life and death fearlessly. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Roots of Reality, p. 173 We started upon a personal inventory, Step Four. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock in trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. We had to do exactly the same thing with our lives. We had to take stock honestly. << << << >> >> >> "Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic underbrush, will hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves." 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64 2. Letter, 1949 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Faking it, and then making it Finding the Spirit of the Thing. We’re sometimes advised to “fake it until you make it.” But how can anything false really lead us to recovery? Aren’t we told that this is an honest program? We’re not being dishonest by pushing ourselves to become actively involved in AA. The self-help movements have told us for years that we have to form an image of what we want to be in order to reach our goals. We are forming an image that corresponds to the sober people we want to be. We are actually rehearsing sober living and working to accept a picture of sobriety in our heart of hearts. There’s also much to be said for “faking it” enough to attend meetings and try to benefit from association with people….. even those we don’t like. This puts us in line for the change we really need. A lot of members say that they “white-knuckled it” during the first months or years of sobriety. If this worked to bring recovery, it had to be the right approach. Even if there is rebellion within, today I’ll talk and act like the sober person I want to be. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works.---St. Augustine. We started recovering the minute we admitted we were powerless over our illness. We crossed over from dishonesty to honesty. Often, we don't see what power honestly has. Maybe we still aren't sure that being honest is best for us. It is! This is why the authors of the Big Book ask us to be totally honest from the start. Just as denial is what makes addiction work, honesty is what makes recovery work. Honesty means self-respect. Honesty heals. Honesty let us look people in the eyes. What comfort we'll feel as we deeper into our program. Prayer for the Day: I pray that I'll let go totally. I pray that I'll keep no secrets that could put my sobriety at risk. Action for the Day: Today, I'll read the first three pages of "How It Works" in the Big Book. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others. --Amelia Earhart Fear of failure plagues many women, not just those who get into trouble with drugs, alcohol, food. Those of us in this recovery program may still fear failure. Halting our addiction doesn't solve all our problems, but it does allow us to realistically take stock of our assets. Knowing our assets and accepting them provides the confidence we need to attempt a project, to strive for a goal. Another plus of this recovery program is the help available from our groups and our higher power. All things become possible when we understand we are not alone. Seeing other women strive and succeed or strive, fail, and strive again, undefeated, creates an energy flow that can spur us on, if we choose. Feeling good about others' accomplishments can motivate each of us. Today, I will pay particular attention to the accomplishments of other women, those close to me and those I read or hear about. I will believe their example and feel the forward push. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. pp. 63-64 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. Well, two people were trying to talk at the same time. "What have you been telling us about the airplane flight all this time?" "Well," I said, "I was drinking and the coin reminded me of what I did. And I decided I was powerless and couldn't drink anymore and stopped." One man said, "Well, that's it. What more do you want?" I said, "What about the blinding white flash?" "What about it?" he said. "Read the Big Book. The Appendix explains the concepts of a sudden change and a gradual change, and that not everybody has a blinding flash." "Oh," I said, "That was it--that was mine?" "Yes," I was told. "What more do you want?" Actually I wanted something more dramatic, and my sponsor said what he so often did: "So?" And I found myself saying, "Well, if that's it, it will have to to." "Have to do?" he replied. "It was bigger and better than most, and more importantly, it worked. You stopped and didn't start again." p. 405 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." Whereupon we tried A.A. hospitals - they all bogged down because you cannot put an A.A. group into business; too many busybody cooks spoil the broth. A.A. groups had their fling at education, and when they began to publicly whoop up the merits of this or that brand, people became confused. Did A.A. fix drunks or was it an educational project? Was A.A. spiritual or was it medical? Was it a reform movement? In consternation, we saw ourselves getting married to all kinds of enterprises, some good and some not so good. Watching alcoholics committed willy-nilly to prisons or asylums, we began to cry, "There oughtta be a law!" A.A.'s commenced to thump tables in legislative committee rooms and agitated for legal reform. That made good newspaper copy, but little else. We saw we'd soon be mired in politics. Even inside A.A. we found it imperative to remove the A.A. name from clubs and Twelfth Step houses. pp. 156-157 ************************************************** ********* As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. --Ben Hogan "Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." --Oscar Wilde When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. --Harriet Beecher Stowe My partnership with God is steady, strong and certain. --SweetyZee I let go of everything that is unkind and seek to enter the spirit of kindness, and compassion. --SweetyZee "The measure of our life is not whether others know our name, but whether we have touched the lives of others." --author unknown *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation INDIVIDUALITY "You'll never really know what I mean and I'll never really know exactly what you mean." --Mike Nichols There is a certain loneliness in life with which we must all live; perhaps this is the price of individuality. I am not always sure that I know what I am feeling or thinking and so I know I cannot be absolutely sure of what you are feeling or thinking. Today when I say "I know how you feel", it is with this reservation. Another problem I face daily is finding words to express what I feel -- language seems so inadequate. Words, although bridges to meaning, are often barriers to understanding. What I mean by what I say is often misunderstood. This awareness provides me with the stimulus to be more precise, explicit and creative in my methods of communication and understanding. Today I consider more seriously what the other person is trying to say, rather than just listening to the words. Because I am sensitive to my difficulties in being understood, I am becoming patient with my neighbor. Teach us never to become victims of our language. ************************************************** ********* "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and ONLY Son, so that whoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16 Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Continue your love to those who know you, your righteousness to the upright in heart. Psalms 36:5-10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We will live life fully only when we become aware of our own inner power which is our connection with God. Lord, the more I rely on You, the more I am able to accomplish. When you need to calm your emotions, stop and turn to God. Lord, I know that You are my help right now and will show me simple answers to what seems complicated and impossible. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Accepting Life As It Is "In our recovery, we find it essential to accept reality. Once we can do this, we do not find it necessary to use drugs in an attempt to change our perceptions." Basic Text, p. 87 Drugs used to buffer us from the full force of life. When we stop using drugs and enter recovery, we find ourselves confronted directly with life. We may experience disappointment, frustration, or anger. Events may not happen the way we want them to. The self-centeredness we cultivated in our addiction has distorted our perceptions of life; it is difficult to let go of our expectations and accept life as it is. We learn to accept our lives by working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. We discover how to change our attitudes and let go of character defects. We no longer need to distort the truth or to run from situations. The more we practice the spiritual principles contained in the steps, the easier it becomes to accept life exactly as it comes to us. Just for today: I will practice self-acceptance by practicing the Twelve Steps. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make lemonade. --Dale Carnegie Good fortune is built on misfortune. By losing a race we learn what mistakes to avoid next time we run. A burglar may make us install the lock that will keep out a murderer. Each time a toddler falls is a lesson in how to walk. We can never assume that, because things are not going the way we want, they are not following a better plan. God is a better manager than we can hope to be. If things aren't shaping up the way we like, let's wait with curiosity to see that better things are in store for us. Let's look for lights in the darkness and follow them to the bright day that always will follow. We will remember our lessons of misfortune with gratitude. What can I learn from delay today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. --Clarence Budinton Kelland We learn much of what we need to know about being men from models we have in other men. Some of us have fond memories of being next to our fathers and imitating their ways. Many of us also have the feeling of a gap in our models. Perhaps our fathers weren't around enough, or we may have rejected some of their habits and values, creating an uncertainty about masculine roles. We may feel unsure of ourselves, or we may berate ourselves for what we don't know. It is well to remember how much we have already learned in our adult years. It is never too late. No man ever reaches adulthood having learned everything from his father that he will need to know about masculinity. We can look around us for more models in the men we know. For a man to be our model, we first choose someone we admire and then get to know him well. In this way, we carry on the human tradition of one man learning from another. I am continuing to grow, and I can learn from the men I know now. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others. --Amelia Earhart Fear of failure plagues many women, not just those who get into trouble with drugs, alcohol, food. Those of us in this recovery program may still fear failure. Halting our addiction doesn't solve all our problems, but it does allow us to realistically take stock of our assets. Knowing our assets and accepting them provides the confidence we need to attempt a project, to strive for a goal. Another plus of this recovery program is the help available from our groups and our higher power. All things become possible when we understand we are not alone. Seeing other women strive and succeed or strive, fail, and strive again, undefeated, creates an energy flow that can spur us on, if we choose. Feeling good about others' accomplishments can motivate each of us. Today, I will pay particular attention to the accomplishments of other women, those close to me and those I read or hear about. I will believe their example and feel the forward push. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Work Histories Just as we have relationship histories, most of us have work histories. Just as we have a present circumstance to accept and deal with in our relationship life, we have a present circumstance to accept and deal with in our work life. Just as we develop a healthy attitude toward our relationship history - one that will help us learn and move forward - we can develop a healthy attitude toward our work history. I have worked many jobs in my life, since I was eleven years old. Just as I have learned many things about myself through my relationships, I have learned many lessons through my work. Often, these lessons run parallel to the lessons I'm learning in other areas of my life. I have worked at jobs I hated but was temporarily dependent on. I have gotten stuck in jobs because I was afraid to strike out on my own and find my next set of circumstances. I have been in some jobs to develop skills. Sometimes, I didn't realize I was developing those skills until later on when they become an important part of the career of my choice. I have worked at jobs where I felt victimized, where I gave and gave and received nothing in return. I have been in relationships where I manufactured similar feelings. I have worked at some jobs that have taught me what I absolutely didn't want; others sparked in me an idea of what I really did want and deserve in my career. Some of my jobs have helped me develop character; others have helped me fine tune skills. They have all been a place to practice recovery behaviors. Just as I have had to deal with my feelings and messages about myself in relationships, I have had to deal with my feelings and messages about myself, and what I believed I deserved at work. I have been through two major career changes in my life. I learned that neither career was a mistake and no job was wasted time. I have learned something from each job, and my work history has helped create who I am. I learned something else: there was a Plan, and I was being led. The more I trusted my instincts, what I wanted, and what felt right, the more I felt that I was being led. The more I refused to lose my soul to a job and worked at it because I wanted to and not for the paycheck, the less victimized I felt by any career, even those jobs that paid a meager salary. The more I set goals and took responsibility for achieving the career I wanted, the more I could decide whether a particular job fit into that scheme of things. I could understand why I was working at a particular job and how that was going to benefit me. There are times I have even panicked at work and about where I was in my employment history. Panic never helped. Trust and working my program did. There were times I looked around and wondered why I was where I was. There were times people thought I should be someplace different. But when I looked into myself and at God, I knew I was in the right place, for the moment. There were times I have had to quit a job and walk away in order to be true to myself. Sometimes, that was frightening. Sometimes, I felt like a failure. But I learned this: If I was working my program and true to myself, I never had to fear where I was being led. There have been times I couldn't survive on the small amount of money I was receiving. Instead of bringing that issue to a particular employer and making it his or her fault, I have had to learn to bring the issue to my Higher Power and myself. I've learned I'm responsible for setting my boundaries and establishing what I believe I deserve. I've also learned God, not a particular employer, is my source of guidance. I've learned that I'm not stuck or trapped in a job no more than I am in a relationship. I have choices. I may not be able to see them clearly right now, but I do have choices. I've learned that if I really want to take care of myself in a particular way on a job, I will do that. And if I really want to be victimized by a job, I will allow that to happen too. I am responsible for my choices, and I have choices. Above all else, I've learned to accept and trust my present circumstances at work. That does not mean to submit; it does not mean to forego boundaries. It means to trust, accept, then take care of myself the best I'm able to on any given day. God, help me bring my recovery behaviors to my career affairs. Today I know I am not the best or the worst. I am just me. God is guiding me to become the best me I can be and that is very exciting. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Forgive Your Inner Child for Being So Afraid No matter how much work we’ve done on ourselves, no matter how committed we are to healing, there may be part of us that’s four years old when we deal with certain people. There may be a part of us that feels frozen, frightened, powerless, and abandoned when we face certain situations. We may be all dressed up, look grown up, have our professional hat on. But the person wearing it is four. And scared. Afraid to speak up, relax, be who we are– a powerful, sensitive, creative, competent, intelligent, wise adult. Watch for these four-year-olds. Be gentle, kind, compassionate. Forgive them for being so frightened. They have reasons that are valid, understandable, and sometimes noble. But their reasons come from a long time ago. This is now. We’ve grown now. We’re strong. We’re free. We can walk away, speak up, laugh, say how we feel. And we can’t be abandoned anymore, because we know how to live on our own. Watch for your four-year-old. This child may never completely leave you, but you don’t have to let him or her run the show. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relaxing is how we heal Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing. When animals in the forest are wounded they find a place to lie down and rest completely for many days… They just rest, and get the healing they need. –Thich Nhat Hanh We hurt. We suffer. We wrong our loved ones and they do wrong by us. Reaching desperately for an answer will not help us. Pretending we’re not hurt doesn’t help, either. When we are wounded, the wound needs rest in order to heal. So it is with our souls. If we poke at our hurt, pick at the sore, rub it in the dirt of others’ opinions, we do not allow it time to heal. If you’ve been hurt, accept that. Feel the hurt. Be aware of it. Let it heal. Maybe it would be better if you didn’t talk to that person for a while. Maybe you need to let go of the relationship. Maybe you just need some quiet time. Whatever the answer is, find a safe place and allow yourself to heal. If you’re feeling pain, be aware of it. Feel the pain, and then quit picking at the wound. Lie low. Quit fighting. Relax. Give your wounds time and enough rest to heal. God, help me relax enough to stop, calm down, and heal. ************************************************** In God’s Care There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse. ~~Washington Irving It’s important to trust that change can be positive even when it looks otherwise. Change is part of God’s plan for our life. Change holds unexpected opportunities and spiritual lessons even though it may cause fear in us now. We can look back to our using days for evidence of changes that we may have feared. For example, we may have lost jobs, or relationships may have ended and we struggled with being alone. But with time we’ve come to realize that nurturing relationships don’t end; new people come into our life, and we help each other grow. We can trust that God will provide opportunities in our life that enhance our growth, our recovery, and in particular, our spiritual development. Change will occur and it is seldom easy. But we can be certain that all change will be beneficial to us in the future. I’ll rely on the Third Step if I fear change today. God is in charge and all is well. ************************************************** Day By Day Overcoming loneliness Chances are, we considered ourselves loners when we came into the program. Some of us had divided the world into the people who hated us and the people who didn’t like us very much. Some of us felt very alone even though we knew people liked us. We never have to be alone again, however. By staying sober and clean, the walls we built around ourselves gradually come down. Have I stopped being a loner? Lord, help me to do what I need to do to never be alone again. I will avoid loneliness today by… ************************************************** Food for Thought God Is a Verb We cannot contain our Higher Power at a fixed point or in a closed system. However we may understand God, our understanding is always limited. The Power that rescues us from compulsive overeating is an active force, which constantly beckons us to move on. What we were to do yesterday is past; a new day brings new challenges and opportunities. Our compulsion had us trapped in a pattern of self-destructive repetition. We did the same dumb thing over and over again. When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand Him, we are linking up with the source of newness and creativity. God moves, and if we are linked with Him, we also move. His spirit changes us, and what we thought and did yesterday is not adequate to the demands of today. Trusting our Higher Power means acting according to His promptings. We follow Him as He leads us into new tasks and activities and ideas. We learn from experience that He is always more than adequate for our needs. May I follow where You lead. ************************************************** Saying Yes to the Universe Making the Decision by Madisyn Taylor Saying Yes to the universe opens the gate to receiving what your soul really wants. The hardest thing about saying yes to the universe is that it means accepting everything life puts in front of us. Most of us have a habit of going through our days saying no to the things we don’t like and yes to the things we do, and yet, everything we encounter is our life. We may be afraid that if we say yes to the things we don’t like, we will be stuck with them forever, but really, it is only through acknowledging the existence of what’s not working for us that we can begin the process of change. So saying yes doesn’t mean indiscriminately accepting things that don’t work for us. It means conversing with the universe, and starting the conversation with a very powerful word—yes. When we say yes to the universe, we enter into a state of trust that whatever our situation is, we can work with it. We express confidence in ourselves, and the universe, and we also express a willingness to learn from whatever comes our way, rather than running and hiding when we don’t like what we see. The question we might ask ourselves is what it will take for us to get to the point of saying yes. For some of us, it takes coming up against something we can’t ignore, escape, or deny, and so we are left no choice but to say yes. For others, it just seems a natural progression of events that leads us to making the decision to say yes to life. The first step to saying yes is realizing that in the end it is so much easier than the alternative. Once we understand this, we can begin examining the moments when we resist what is happening, and experiment with occasionally saying yes instead. It might be scary at first, and even painful at times, but if we continue to say yes to every moment through the process, we will discover the joy of being in a positive conversation with a force much bigger than ourselves. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking at the wrongs we’ve done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her slightest misbehavior as perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. We have to remember that we’re not the only ones plagued by sick emotions. Often, we’re really dealing with fellow sufferers, including those whose woes we’re increased. If I’m about to ask forgiveness for myself, why shouldn’t I start out by forgiving them? Today I Pray When I blame or fault-find, may my Higher Power tell me to look under the rug for my own feeling of guilt, which I have neatly swept under it. May I recognize these behavior clues for what they really are. Today I Will Remember Resentment, inside-out, is guilt. ************************************************** One More Day Disability usually puts a strain on a good marriage and exposes a bad one. – Robert Lovering The strain on relationships of chronically ill people is clearly shown in the fact that their divorce rate is higher than the national average. Perhaps this is not so strange, since any stressful situation only serves to point out any preexisting deficits. Suffering is a personal and lonely state even though others have been where we are now. We can share some of our pain with others. We can perhaps be an inspiration to them because of how well we handle our suffering. We still can choose our attitudes and our responses. Even though there are some situations we can not control, there is always hope and help. We can receive relief and understanding. I will try to stay aware, in all my relationships, of the added stresses caused by illness. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SUNLIGHT OF THE SPIRIT “Trust God and buy broccoli.” Author Unknown I heard that quotation in an OA meeting years ago. “What an odd thing,” I thought. “Why does God care what I buy?” But as years have gone by and my abstinence continues one day at a time, I see the meaning of that phrase and have deep respect for its principle. I can trust God 'til the cows come home, but there is work to be done. A more familiar quote is: “Trust God but continue to row toward shore.” Abstinence for me is not only refraining from compulsive overeating, but abstaining from what I call my “alcoholic foods.” They block that beautiful contact between me and the Sunlight of the Spirit. It is my responsibility to purchase, prepare, weigh and measure the best foods for my peace of mind ~ and to open the channel to a Power Greater than Myself. Now I live this way, with thanks to the twelve steps. One day at a time... I will be grateful that food does not have power today. ~ Gerri ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote And acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. - Pg. 417 - 4th. Edition - Personal Stories - Acceptance Was The Answer Hour To Hour - Book - Quote There have been many disappointments, trials, and tribulations for you, but you don't have to get loaded. There will be many more, but you don't have to get loaded. There is nothing so bad that getting loaded won't make it worse! Higher Power, of my understanding, show me that picking up will only make my life more painful in the long run. No matter how high the immediate high, the low will be more than I can bear. Learning Today, I do not accept other people's truth as my truth. Even if what they believe seems better or more obvious, I need to give myself credit for feeling and seeing what I feel and see. Learning is meaningful to me as it relates to or is understood within the workings of my own mind. Without something in me making it relevant, learning is very disconnected. I am the learner behind the information; I am the seer behind the seen. I learn by direct experience. I learn to trust the perceptions that I gain from my own observation of life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Almost all anger is some form of control-either you trying to control people, places, or things or them trying to control you. If it's you controlling them, stop it. If it's them controlling you, stop it. I can't do HP's will, my way. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Embrace the power of love. Reject the love of power. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know I am not the best or the worst. I am just me. God is guiding me to become the best me I can be and that is very exciting. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote He said he was going to kill himself. He owed these heavies some big gambling debts. I suggested he approach them with an amends deal; offer to pay them back a bit at a time. He said, no he couldn't, if he went to them, they'd kill him. I said; 'Well, nothing to lose, at least you wouldn't have suicide on your mind.' - Chuck C. |
June 23
Daily Reflections TRUSTING OTHERS But does trust require that we be blind to other people's motives or, indeed, to our own? Not at all; this would be folly. Most certainly, we should assess the capacity for harm as well as the capability for good in every person that we would trust. Such a private inventory can reveal the degree of confidence we should extend in any given situation. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 144 I am not a victim of others, but rather a victim of my expectations, choices and dishonesty. When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my expectations, I am hurt. When my choices are based on self-centeredness, I find I am lonely and distrustful. I gain confidence in myself, however, when I practice honesty in all my affairs. When I search my motives and am honest and trusting, I am aware of the capacity for harm in situations and can avoid those that are harmful. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day No chain is stronger than its weakest link. Likewise, if you fail in the day-by-day program, in all probability it will be your weakest point. Great faith and constant contact with God's power can help you discover, guard, and undergird your weakest point with a strength not your own. Intelligent faith in God's power can be counted on to help you master your emotions, help you to think kindly of others, and help you with any task that you undertake, no matter how difficult. Am I master of my emotions? Meditation For The Day You need to be constantly recharged by the power of the spirit of God. Continue with God in quiet times until the life from God, the Divine life, by that very contact, flows into your being and revises your fainting spirit. When weary, take time out and rest. Rest and gain power and strength from God, and then you will be ready to meet whatever opportunities come your way. Rest until every care and worry and fear have gone and then the tide of peace and serenity, love and joy, will flow into your consciousness. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may rest and become recharged. I pray that I may pause and wait for the renewing of my strength. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Constructive Forces, p. 174 Mine was exactly the kind of deep-seated block we so often see today in new people who say they are atheistic or agnostic. Their will to disbelieve is so powerful that apparently they prefer a date with the undertaker to an open-minded and experimental quest for God. Happily for me, and for most of my kind who have since come along in A.A., the constructive forces brought to bear in our Fellowship have nearly always overcome this colossal obstinacy. Beaten into complete defeat by alcohol, confronted by the living proof of release, and surrounded by those who can speak to us from the heart, we have finally surrendered. And then, paradoxically, we have found ourselves in a new dimension, the real world of spirit and faith. Enough willingness, enough open-mindedness--and there it is! A.A. Today, p. 9 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Walk in Dry Places The ONLY reason to drink Staying Sober There's only one real reason I can ever have for taking a drink, ant that's because I want to. This remark at a meeting sums up AA's position on why we drink. We never really drink because of pressures and troubles. We drink because we want to, because we feel like taking a drink. It's true that a serious crisis, like going into bankruptcy may make us conscious of an urge to drink. But we know that we're also likely to have such urges in the face of good fortune. The alcoholic who would drink over a bankruptcy would also probably get drunk if he or she won the lottery. By refusing to accept all of these alleged reasons for drinking, AA simplified our problem so we can deal with it. We either want to drink or we don't want to drink, period. Even if we want to drink..... and some members do.... AA can show us how to stay sober and eventually lose such desires. Nothing has the power to make me drink today. It is only my own willfulness that can destroy my sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Words are sacred, we must use them wisely. . . . They are a gift from God. Burton Pretty-On-Top We use words to bring peace to others. We can use words to tell God and others how much we care. Or we can use words to hurt others. We can curse them and scare them away. We often did when we used alcohol and other drugs. In recovery, we learn to use words in a kind, wise way. We treat words as a gift from God. We use words to build our relationships. Do I always use words in a kind way? Do I treat words as a powerful gift from God? Do my words make the world better or worse for those who hear me speak? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, when I speak words, help me think about their power. Help me speak to others in a kind way. Action for the Day: Today, I'll speak to others with respect. My words will add a little kindness, honesty, and love to the world today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning . . . How much bondage and suffering a woman escapes when she takes the liberty of being her own physician of both body and soul. --Elizabeth Cady Stanton If we listen to ourselves, to the innermost voice of our Spirits, we know that we have the power to heal ourselves. Self-healing begins with making our own decisions--about what we wear, what we do, who we are--and deciding that we will be true to ourselves. With the help of our spiritual guide, we can resist the temptations to betray ourselves, for these temptations are born of fear; the fear that we are not good enough to be our "own physicians." To give away our powers bind us and cause us to suffer. But we can go to others for help without losing our own strength. Today and every day, I will pray for the wisdom to choose wise counselors and the strength to love and heal myself. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. p. 64 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. Well, that worked for me. I have stayed in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous long enough to find the program in the Big Book and to practice all its principles in all my affairs on a daily basis. pp. 405-406 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." These adventures implanted a deep-rooted conviction that in no circumstances could we endorse any related enterprise, no matter how good. We of Alcoholics Anonymous could not be all things to all men, nor should we try. p. 157 ************************************************** ********* Remember how we'd talk every night at bedtime? I miss that. --God If you think clothes make no difference, try walking down the street without any. --unknown "The greatest treasures of your life are associated with the people you love and who love you in return." --Brian Tracy Half the failures of this world arise from pulling in one's horse as he is leaping. --Augustus Hare The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth and delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that your world is transformed. -- Krishnamurti The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. --Buddha "Tis grace that brought me safe thus far. Tis grace will lead me home." --John Newton ("Amazing Grace") *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation REALITY "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." --Elbert Hubbard When I used to take life too seriously, I was always miserable. I missed so much. I placed a disproportionate amount of energy on my own importance. I am not saying that I am not important, but I must learn to live within the structures of this imperfect world. For so long I made myself the "victim" of this world. Every airplane I missed was seen as a personal abuse. I could not wait in a line without getting angry and developing a resentment to everybody around. Everybody was expected to revolve around my world and I felt the world owed me a living! The result: unhappiness. I needed to change or remain unhappy. Today I am learning to change and I am working on patience. Thank You for the spiritual gift of balance in my life. ************************************************** ********* The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalms 23:1-6 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Integrity is one of our most valuable assets. Lord, may I live responsibly and never have the need to make excuses for my behavior. Kindness can accomplish that which force won't. Lord, may I pause when I am about to react to irritations and respond as though it is You to whom I speak. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Surrender "We didn't stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness....When we were beaten, we became willing." Basic Text, p. 20 Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some clean time and wonder why on earth we fought so hard to deny our powerlessness when surrender is what finally saved our lives. As we recover, new opportunities to surrender present themselves. We can either struggle with everyone and everything we encounter or we can recall the benefits of our first surrender and stop fighting. Most of the pain we experience comes from fighting, not surrendering. In fact, when we surrender, the pain ends and hope takes its place. We begin to believe that all will be well and, after some time, realize that our lives are much better as a result. We feel the same way we did when we gave up the illusion that we could control our using-relieved, free, and filled with fresh hope. Just for today: Is there a surrender I need to make today? I will remember my first surrender and remind myself that I don't need to fight anymore. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job. --Erwin T. Randall What kind of friends do we have? Are they people who complain a lot? Are they people who laugh at us or put others down? The kind of people we want to be will decide what kind of friends we have. If we want to feel sorry for ourselves, we will choose friends who will tell us how rotten their lives are. If we want to think we're better than others, we will hang around people who laugh at others' mistakes. But if we want to be the best we can be, we will pick friends who see the good in life, people who will encourage us to be ourselves and who will help us try harder at things that are difficult for us. How can I be a better friend today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. He who conceals his disease cannot expect to be cured. --Ethiopian proverb Concealment and secrecy have been second nature to some of us. We may have felt that our masculinity kept us loners. Perhaps we said we were covering the truth for someone else's good. Maybe we could not bear to expose the truth because we feared the consequences. For some of us a lie came more automatically than the truth. Now we are learning to be open with our friends, and we are finding the healing effect of fresh air for our secrets. Although it's frightening to stop tampering with the truth, it's also exciting to feel the power of honesty and to deal with the consequences of uncovering it. Perhaps we still have some secrets that erode our wellbeing. If so, we need to bring them into the open so we can live completely honest lives. When we let others know us as we really are, we are casting our lot with good health and recovery. Today, I will make progress in my recovery by letting myself be fully known. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . How much bondage and suffering a woman escapes when she takes the liberty of being her own physician of both body and soul. --Elizabeth Cady Stanton If we listen to ourselves, to the innermost voice of our Spirits, we know that we have the power to heal ourselves. Self-healing begins with making our own decisions--about what we wear, what we do, who we are--and deciding that we will be true to ourselves. With the help of our spiritual guide, we can resist the temptations to betray ourselves, for these temptations are born of fear; the fear that we are not good enough to be our "own physicians." To give away our powers bind us and cause us to suffer. But we can go to others for help without losing our own strength. Today and every day, I will pray for the wisdom to choose wise counselors and the strength to love and heal myself. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Letting Go of Old Beliefs Try harder. Do better. Be perfect. These messages are tricks that people have played on us. No matter how hard we try, we think we have to do better. Perfection always eludes us and keeps us unhappy with the good we've done. Messages of perfectionism are tricks because we can never achieve their goal. We cannot feel good about ourselves or what we have done while these messages are driving us. We will never be good enough until we change the messages and tell ourselves we are good enough now. We can start approving of and accepting ourselves. Who we are is good enough. Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too. We can be who we are, and do it the way we do it - today. That is the essence of avoiding perfection. God, help me let go of the messages that drive me into the crazies. I will give myself permission to be who I am and let that be good enough. Today I'm learning to release my stress and anxiety in positive and healthy ways. My body is becoming free from all negative experiences. My past no longer lives in my body. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Discover the Power of Stillness I will forever remember Yellowstone Glacier Lake at midnight. A large full moon– the biggest I have ever seen– was resting atop the lake. The lake was frozen over, a still mirror between the mountains. Even the pines stood motionless. At that moment, I saw stillness– quiet, motionless stillness– I began to understand its power. Be still and know that I am God. How often I heard that verse from the Bible. How well I knew it, but how little I understood stillness. Stillness is different from aloneness, different from turning off the stereo or speaking softly. Stillness is a place. You can find it in the desert or in the mountains. You can find it when you’re alone or when you’re in the midst of people. You can find stillness wherever you are, whatever you’re going through. Stillness is a place within you. Slow down. Breathe deeply. Get quiet. Become familiar with stillness. Take time to learn its power. From that place of stillness, the right action will emerge and you will find your next step. From that place of stillness, you can move into the present moment. There you will find your power, and there God will find you. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax and enjoy the ride One of the good things about jumping out of airplanes is that there is at least one aspect of the sport that is impossible to mess up. When you choose to open the door and get out of the plane, one thing is certain. You will fall. There will be wind that you can use to control your movement through the air, and you will get back to the ground. So relax. Enjoy the ride. Some things in life are that way,too. We can be as tense or as relaxed as we want to and the thing will not change– other people, the weather, the driver in front of you on the freeway. Often there is nothing that we can do to affect a situation, and yet we will fight with the universe, tense up, and try to control things rather than just relaxing and learning to use what is to the best of our ability. There is no need to change the universe. It was before this lifetime, and it will be long after you have passed. You can choose to spend your life fighting it, or you can relax, let go of your control, and learn to work with and within it. Have you been fighting against gravity, trying to get back into the plane? Let go of the uncontrollable situations in your life. Let them be what they are. Relax and learn to work with them rather than against them. You will have more strength and success when you do. You might even have some fun. God, show me the areas of my life where I’m still trying to exert control over the impossible. Help me let go and enjoy the ride. ************************************************** In God’s Care Someone who knew what he was talking about once remarked that pain is the touchstone of all spiritual progress. ~~Bill W. It’s perplexing that we don’t always seem able to live up to our own expectations. When we find ourselves snapping at our loved ones, belittling our friends, insulting strangers, or generally withholding our love, we can’t understand what came over us. It’s painful to realize that, even with the best intentions, we are hurting others. Perhaps, though, this pain we feel is exactly what we need to bring us to our senses. God gave us the help we needed when our addictions had us licked, but not until we were really hurting. The help didn’t come until we hit bottom and surrendered. Our harmful character defects couldn’t be removed until we were ready to admit that our own efforts failed and we need God to show us the way. If I feel mental pain today, I may need to take inventory and humbly ask God to remove my character defects. ************************************************** Day By Day Becoming patient Let us not rush and demand perfection all at once; it would only blind us. If we are impatient, it is impossible to work a daily program; but if we are patient, we can learn to see our daily opportunities for growth. We can’t develop a new relationship with our Higher Power overnight. It is worth waiting for, striving for. Let us not go too fast but simply count each day as an opportunity. Am I learning patience? Higher Power, I pray that I may be patient as I work my program and develop a relationship with you. Today I will practice patience with… ************************************************** ************** Food for Thought The Everlasting Arms God moves, and yet He is always here. “Underneath are the everlasting arms.” Our former support systems failed us or proved inadequate. We overate because we had no firm ground of support to rely on. Now we see that since our lives belong to a Higher Power, there is nothing temporal which can remove us from His care and protection. Whatever happens, the everlasting arms are there to uphold us. Knowing that, we no longer need to overeat. We are able to endure whatever comes, whether it is physical hunger, emotional anguish, or spiritual depression. To experience God’s support, all we need to do is admit that we are powerless to sustain ourselves by our own efforts. What a relief not to have to depend on our own ego! If, when we are perplexed and upset, we will stop struggling and take time to be quiet, we will feel the inner peace and support which comes from our Higher Power. The everlasting arms are always here, underneath us. I need You, Lord. ************************************************** ************** Gut Response In Touch with True Emotions Our bellies can be wonderful monitors of our emotional health and the truth can always be found there. So often, emotions that we long to express get stored in our bodies instead. The space where this most often happens is in our bellies. Rather than telling people, our even ourselves, the way we truly feel, we may stuff our true feelings deep inside of us, where they take up space until we are ready to let them go. Stuffing our feelings in our bellies may feel like the “safe” response, since we then don’t really have to deal with our emotions. Yet, doing so can actually be detrimental to our emotional well-being and physical health. One way to connect with and release your emotions is to do a focused exercise with your stomach area. Take a moment to center yourself with some deep breathing and quiet meditation, relaxing your body fully and turning off the chatter in your brain. With your right hand on your stomach, tell yourself three times: “Please reveal to me my true emotions.” Listen for the answers. Repeat the exercise as many times as you would like, allowing yourself to drop deeper into your body each time. Notice any physical response in the stomach area, whether you have a warm, relaxed feeling in the middle of your body or if you feel tight knots in response to any emotions that do come up. You may even want to write down any answers that come to you. Remember that the body doesn’t lie. Releasing our pent up feelings from our bellies can prevent disease and allow us to live more authentic and expressive lives. Sometimes, if too much emotional energy builds up inside of us, a blowout can result that can cause discomfort. You can help to alleviate this compression by doing the same exercise and adding sound to your emotional release. The more guttural the sounds released through your mouth, the more emotions you are likely letting go. Releasing your emotions from your belly doesn’t have to be painful and hard; rather, it can be organic and effortless. It’s important not to judge whatever comes up for you. We tend to stuff our feelings in our bellies when we are ashamed of them or not ready to express them. There is nothing wrong with having feelings, whatever they may be. You can’t help your feelings; if anything, you can help yourself by acknowledging the truth of your emotions so you can set yourself free. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Complacency is my enemy, easy to recognize in others, but difficult to identify and accept in myself. Complacency simply means being sure we’re right — taking it for granted that we couldn’t possibly be wrong. It means, moreover, judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and seems to justify qualities in ourselves that we’d find wholly intolerable in others. Do I tend to assume that my views are always correct? Today I Pray God, please steer me past complacency, that state of being on dead center. When I am smug, I am no longer a seeker. If I assume I am always right, I am never on guard for my own mistakes, which can run away with me. Keep me teachable. Keep me growing, in heart, mind and spirit. Today I Will Remember Complacency stunts growth. ************************************************** One More Day Quote: The degree and kind of sexuality of a human being reaches up into the ultimate principle of his spirit. – Friedrich Nietzsche Having a long-term medical problem presents new problems, which we have to cope with as part of our total picture. One area that may present difficulties is sexuality. Sexuality is how we think about ourselves, of how we present ourselves, of all that makes us unique. Our self-image may bottom out as we undergo the daily rigors of a medical problem, and we may for a time feel unsexual and unsensual. It takes us a while to realize that we still have the same needs we always had — to be touched and to feel good about ourselves. We don’t have to be silent or passive. We need love and support, and sometimes we have to ask before our needs can be met. I will remember that the quality of a relationship depends on both people involved. ***************************************** One Day At A Time MIRACLES “Miracles are instantaneous, they cannot be summoned but come of themselves, usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them.” Katherine Ann Porter I never believed that we live in an age of miracles. As far as I was concerned, those happened only in the days of the Bible -- with burning bushes and the red sea opening up. When I first came into the program and heard people talking about miracles, I was skeptical. As I became more open to the possibility, things began to happen which I can only consider to be miracles. They may not have seemed large to my old closed mind, but being able to give up certain trigger foods -- or having a fellow member in the program call me when I most needed a call -- have become miracles in my life today. Being able to maintain my weight, rather than losing and gaining weight every few months, is a miracle. Most importantly, my transformed relationships with my children and other loved ones are miracles. One day at a time... I will open my mind to the possibility of miracles occurring in my life…and they will come. ~ Sharon ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote I will never know all the people I hurt, all the friends I abused, the humiliation of my family, the worry of my business associates, or how far reaching it was. I continue to be surprised by the people I meet who say,'You haven't had a drink for a long time, have you?' The surprise to me is the fact that I didn't know that they knew my drinking had gotten out of control. That is where we are really fooled. We think we can drink to excess without anyone's knowing it. Everyone knows it. The only one we are fooling is ourselves. We rationalize and excuse our conduct beyond reason. - Pg. 351 - 4th. Edition - Personal Stories - It Might Have Been Worse Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The world is not consistent, you are not consistent, and those around you will not always be consistent. We don't have to be. We only have to remember not to use mind-affecting chemicals right now and our world will improve. When inconsistency scares or annoys me, let me understand that to remain always constant would be like a plastic plant, never to grow and change! Higher Power Within Me Today, I recognize that a Higher Power lives and breathes inside me, through me, as me. I used to think that God was the chairperson of somebody else's board, and I spent my time in search of another person's version of a Higher Power. But really, there is no searching - it is more like an acceptance. That is the well-kept secret: that God lives, not in the heavens or inside special buildings, but within my very self. My direct access to myself is my direct access to my Higher Power, and my estrangement from myself is my estrangement from my Higher Power. We are co-creators, hand-in-glove, a team. Today, I see allowing God into my life as an act of surrender, acceptance and love.I love my Higher Power and my Higher Power loves me - we are one. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There may be some people who want you to be perfect. But thanks to our fellowship, to God, and the Twelve Steps, you don't have to be one of them! I claim progress, not perfection. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Don't put a question mark where your sponsor puts a period. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I'm learning to release my stress and anxiety in positive and healthy ways. My body is becoming free from all negative experiences. My past no longer lives in my body. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Weird things they tell you; 'How do you do this?' 'Hold on.' 'How do you surrender?' 'Just let go.' - Bea. |
June 24
Daily Reflections A SPIRITUAL KINDERGARTEN We are only operating a spiritual kindergarten in which people are enabled to get over drinking and find the grace to go on living to better effect. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 95 When I came to A. A., I was run down by the bottle and wanted to lose the obsession to drink, but I didn't really know how to do that. I decided to stick around long enough to find out from the ones who went before me. All of a sudden I was thinking about God! I was told to get a Higher Power and I had no idea what one looked like. I found out there are many Higher Powers. I was told to find God, as I understand Him, that there was no doctrine of the Godhead in A.A. I found what worked for me and then asked that Power to restore me to sanity. The obsession to drink was removed and--one day at a time--my life went on, and I learned how to live sober. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcohol is our weakness. We suffer from mental conflicts from which we look for escape by drowning our problems in drink. We try through drink to push away from the realities of life. But alcohol does not feed, alcohol does not build, it only borrows from the future and it ultimately destroys. We try to drown our feelings in order to escape life's realities, little realizing or caring that in continued drinking we are only multiplying our problems. Have I got control over my unstable emotions? Meditation For The Day When I let personal piques and resentments interfere with what I know to be my proper conduct, I am on the wrong track and I am undoing all I have built up by doing the right thing. I must never let personal piques interfere with living the way I know God wants me to live. When I have no clear guidance from God, I must go forward quietly along the path of duty. The attitude of quiet faith will receive its reward as surely as acting upon God's direct guidance. I must not weaken my spiritual power by letting personal piques upset me. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not let myself become too upset. I pray that I may go quietly along the path I have chosen. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Aspects of Tolerance, p. 175 All kinds of people have found their way into A.A. Not too long ago, I sat talking in my office with a member who bears the title of Countess. That same night, I went to an A.A. meeting. It was winter, and there was a mild-looking little gent taking the coats. I said, "Who's that?" And somebody answered, "Oh, he's been around for a long time. Everybody likes him. He used to be one of Al Capone's mob." That's how universal A.A. is today. << << << >> >> >> We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. All of us, whatever our race, creed, or color, are the children of a living Creator, with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. 1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 102 2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 28 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Expressing gratitude Self Improvement How can we express gratitude when we feel it? We can begin by simply using the proper forms of courtesy at all times; this reminds us that we can't live without other people. The best way to express gratitude, however, is to "ass on" the good that has come to us. This is more effective when we share ideas and experiences that have helped us on the way to self-improvement. It's also a good idea to dismiss thoughts and statements that are forms of prideful boasting. Even telling people how hard we've worked for the 12 Step program can detract from our gratitude. And never, under any circumstances, should we put others under obligation to us. I'll discover ways to express my gratitude today. I'll know that my best way of doing it is to pass on good ideas to others. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Beauty is gift of God.---Aristotle In our addiction, we often went after what was ugly in life. Maybe we hung out in bad places. Maybe we saw people's defects instead of their beauty. Addiction is ugly, painful disease. The worst part of addiction is how it doesn't let us see beauty in the world. There is much beauty in each of us. Recovery is beautiful. Our stories are beautiful. The way we help each other is beautiful. The way we become loving family members is beautiful. But sometimes, we may still see the world as ugly. At these times, we need to turn to our program. Maybe we need to help someone by working Step Twelve. Maybe we need ask to give the Step at our meeting. Maybe we just need to read the Big Book. Whatever we do, one thing is sure--- if we turn to our program, we'll see how beautiful the world is. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see beautiful today. Help me be beautiful today. Action for the Day: Today I'll let myself feel beautiful. I'll see recovery as beautiful. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning If you attach yourself to one person, you ultimately end up having an unhealthy relationship. --Shirley MacLaine Needing people in our lives is healthy, human and natural. Needing a single person to love at a very deep level, is also soothing to the soul's well-being. Love and attachment are not synonymous, however. They are close to being opposites. If we "attach" ourselves to others, our movements as separate individuals are hampered. Attachment means dependency; it means letting our movements be controlled by the one we are "hooked" to. Dependency on mood-altering chemicals, on food, on people, means unmanageability in our individual lives. Many of us in this recovery program, though abstinent, still struggle with our dependency on a certain person or a certain friend. The tools we are learning apply in all cases of dependency. It is healthy independence we are striving for--taking responsibility for our own lives--making choices appropriate for our personal selves. Loving others means letting them make their own choices unhampered by our "attachment." Are my relationships attachments or are they based on love? I will take an inventory of them today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations. p. 64 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. The last big hurdle was closing the meeting with the Lord's Prayer. As a Jew, I was uncomfortable with it and decided to talk to my sponsor about it. So I said, "The Lord's Prayer bothers me." Oh," he said, "what's the problem?" "Well, I'm Jewish and it's not a Jewish prayer." "Well, then," he said "say it in Jewish." I said, "It would still be the Lord's Prayer." "Right," he said. "Then say something else that you like. Your Higher Power, whatever you call it, is helping you, and you need to say thank you." p. 406 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." Years ago this principle of "no endorsement" was put to a vital test. Some of the great distilling companies proposed to go into the field of alcohol education. It would be a good thing, they believed, for the liquor trade to show a sense of public responsibility. They wanted to say that liquor should be enjoyed, not misused; hard drinkers ought to slow down, and problem drinkers--alcoholic s--should not drink at all. p. 157 ************************************************** ********* God, today I give you all of the guilt from my past. Take it from me, and allow me to begin fresh right now. Help me make the amends I need to make, then let my guilt go. --Melody Beattie "Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury." -- E. H. Chapin The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs. --Vance Havner Trust, faith, love of God, makes light all my burdens. --SweetyZee "It's not the load that breaks you down...it's the way you carry it." --unknown Worry about tomorrow saps today of its strength. --unknown *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation PERFECTION "I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have." --Leonardo da Vinci How I used to beat myself up! I was not good enough. I was not attractive enough. I could not speak properly. I was too small. My family was not prestigious enough. I was boring. My breath smelled, etc., etc. I never saw my value in life. I could never see beyond my failings into my God-given virtues. Sin was all too evident in my life! Today I catch an egotism in my past criticism of self and others! Who was I to think I should be perfect? I could find fault with the Archangel Gabriel if he came to be my neighbor. My compulsive disease extended beyond drugs to negative attitudes about life. Today I see my value. Sobriety has restored my dignity. Today I am in touch with that part of me that is noble. Today in my sobriety I am a spiritual somebody, not a nobody. Let my desire for "perfection" be tempered by reality. ************************************************** ********* "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, `I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." Jeremiah 1:5-10 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful. Jeremiah 31:3-4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration You will have an easier time keeping your thoughts positive if you look for good in every situation. Lord, help me change my focus and develop an awareness that situations often have more good in them than bad. If you live in the light of God, He will bless the work of your hands and you will see your efforts flourish. Lord, I am your servant. I do my daily work for You and I am filled with peace. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Tolerance "...ever reminding us to place principles before personalities." Tradition Twelve Sometimes it's hard to accept others' character defects. As we recover together, we not only listen to others talk in meetings, we also watch how they walk through their recovery. The more we get to know other members, the more we become aware of how they live their lives. We may form opinions about how they "work their program." We may find that certain members upset us, or we may even hear ourselves say, "If I worked their program, I would surely use." We have found tolerance to be a principle that not only strengthens our own recovery but also our relationships with individuals who are a source of irritation to us. It becomes easier to accept other members' frailties when we remember that we ourselves rarely turn over our own character defects until we become painfully aware of them. Just for today: I will strive to accept others as they are. I will try not to judge others. I will focus on the principles of love and acceptance. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment. --Maxwell Maltz The way we think about ourselves determines how we behave and who we become. If Eileen believes she is good at baseball, she will swing the bat more confidently and catch fly balls more easily. And her extra effort will generally pay off. At math, Steve thinks he's a whiz and it makes him proud. He studies so he'll continue to be a whiz. The image we have of ourselves is like the blueprint the contractor follows when building a house. When we see ourselves sad or angry, our behavior and personality will match it. When we see ourselves withdrawn and afraid, we seem to avoid activities that involve others. How wonderful that we can change our behavior and thus ourselves by changing the picture we carry in our minds. Do I have a good picture of myself today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The only intrinsic evil is lack of love. --John Robinson When we have feelings of guilt or self-hate, we have spiritual problems. It is a time to turn to our program for help. In the early stages of recovery we may, at times, feel more shameful than we ever did before, simply because we are becoming honest about how we feel. We may even become ashamed of our guilty feelings, and then the problem escalates. Lack of love for ourselves is at the heart of our problem. We cannot become self-loving by force of will, but we can stop being so willful by simply yielding to the care of a loving God. At those moments we do not feel deserving of love, but we can stop fending it off. Perhaps God's love is coming to us in the concern of a friend or partner. Maybe it comes in the warm sunshine or in the smile of a child. As we yield to it, we take a spiritual leap into a world we don't control and we didn't create, but we can be healed by it. Today, I will surrender to the love which comes from the world around me and let it teach me how to love myself. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. If you attach yourself to one person, you ultimately end up having an unhealthy relationship. --Shirley MacLaine Needing people in our lives is healthy, human and natural. Needing a single person to love at a very deep level, is also soothing to the soul's well-being. Love and attachment are not synonymous, however. They are close to being opposites. If we "attach" ourselves to others, our movements as separate individuals are hampered. Attachment means dependency; it means letting our movements be controlled by the one we are "hooked" to. Dependency on mood-altering chemicals, on food, on people, means unmanageability in our individual lives. Many of us in this recovery program, though abstinent, still struggle with our dependency on a certain person or a certain friend. The tools we are learning apply in all cases of dependency. It is healthy independence we are striving for--taking responsibility for our own lives--making choices appropriate for our personal selves. Loving others means letting them make their own choices unhampered by our "attachment." Are my relationships attachments or are they based on love? I will take an inventory of them today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Detachment Detachment doesn't come naturally for many of us. But once we realize the value of this recovery principle, we understand how vital detachment is. The following story illustrates how a woman came to understand detachment. "The first time I practiced detachment was when I let go of my alcoholic husband. He had been drinking for seven years --since I had married him. For that long, I had been denying his alcoholism and trying to make him stop drinking. "I did outrageous things to make him stop drinking, to make him see the light, to make him realize how much he was hurting me. I really thought I was doing things right by trying to control him. "One night, I saw things clearly. I realized that my attempts to control him would never solve the problem. I also saw that my life was unmanageable. I couldn't make him do anything he didn't want to do. His alcoholism was controlling me, even though I wasn't drinking. "I set him free, to do as he chose. The truth is, he did as he pleased anyway. Things changed the night I detached. He could feel it, and so could I. When I set him free, I set myself free to live my own life. "I've had to practice the principle of detachment many times since then. I've had to detach from unhealthy people and healthy people. It's never failed. Detachment works." Detachment is a gift. It will be given to us when we're ready for it. When we set the other person free, we are set free. Today, wherever possible, I will detach in love. I love me because of all that I am, not just a part of me. I fully accept myself just as I am today and that feels so good. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Restore Your Natural Balance Seek healing, a refilling of energy and spirit, as soon as you see that you need it. You don’t have to push yourself to give, do, or perform when what your body, mind, soul, and emotions need is to heal. Seek and support your natural balance. Listen to your body, listen to your soul, and both will tell you what they need and when. If you aren’t certain what you need,ask. Ask your body what you need. Ask your heart what to do next. Ask God and the universe to help. Find the balance that’s right for you. Become sensitive to your needs. When you become stressed, depleted, out of sync, in need of healing, seek help immediately. Nurture and care for yourself until you’re in balance again. Inhale, receive. Exhale, give back. Your natural balance is as necessary as breathing. The inhaling is the breathing in of life’s energy. The exhaling is the sharing of your resources. You wouldn’t expect to exhale if you hadn’t inhaled. So it goes with healing, with our life force, with our energy. You cannot give it out if you don’t take it in. Find the balance of receiving and giving, of the taking in of energy and the giving out of energy, that works for you. Let the balance become natural. See how much more you do and are. See how much better you feel when you keep your life force vital. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Find ways to relax Recovering alcoholics– and many people who choose not to drink or use drugs– need to find ways to relax that don’t involve alcohol, drugs, or medications. Many of us remember daily that we are choosing not to drink or use drugs. But we may forget that it’s important to learn ways to relax our bodies and our minds. Maybe it’s time to assertively pursue options for helping us to unwind. I can tell you things that help me: Hot water– whether it’s taking a long shower, sitting in a hot tub, or resting in a bathtub, meditation and visualization being near a large body of water and if that’s not possible, looking at a good picture of the ocean or a beautiful sea; drinking hot herbal tea; massage; music; meditation tapes; a good movie; laughter, deep, conscious breathing; playing the piano; and being outside in the sun. We each have our own needs, our own methods of calming ourselves down. Do you have a list of what works for you? If you don’t, today is a good day to make one. Today and each day do at least one thing deliberately that relaxes you. Begin allowing your body to memorize how it feels when it’s relaxed; then consciously duplicate that feeling throughout the day whenever you feel yourself become tense. God, show me ways to relax. Activity: Begin making a list of the things that help you relax. This is an important part of your self-care. If it’s a long one, great. If it’s a short one, pursue other methods of relaxing that are available to you, and add them to this list. Whenever you feel yourself becoming tense, take out your list and actually do one of the things on it– the one that most appeals to you at that moment. Part of getting to know yourself better means becoming acquainted with things that help your body relax. ************************************************** In God’s Care Discipline is the basis of a satisfying life. ~~Katharine Hepburn When trying to reach a goal, we may tire of the constant effort that is required of us, or we may rebel against the structure that’s necessary to keep us focused. We often long for what we remember as a freer, more spontaneous time in the past. It’s helpful to remember that our goals come from our desire for change. We can see each yearning as God’s invitation for us to move in a new direction. And we can be sure that we have God as our helpmate throughout the journey wherever our destination may be. Goals that inspire us to act bring meaning to our life. We make progress in moving toward them, and our feeling of satisfaction and renewed sense of purpose will motivate us to persevere to their completion. The comfort of regular conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we seek always to align our goals with God’s will for us, will carry us to the fulfillment of our goals. I will seek direction and strength from God while moving toward my goals today. ************************************************** ************** Day By Day Getting honest There is an intuitive understanding between recovering addicts and newcomers. Old-timers know well the games that newcomers play at first. Newcomers are not asked what they’re thinking, they’re told what they’re thinking! They don’t need to be trapped into lies; old-timers tell them the lies they were about to tell. Thus, in the beginning, we start to get honest because we hardly have a choice. We give up on playing games because there are no tricks left in the bag. Being confronted by others, we have to get honest – honest enough to save our lives. Have I stopped playing games? Am I getting more honest? Higher Power, let me be grateful for the intuition and quick tongue of my fellow members: They can help me get honest. I will practice honesty today by… ************************************************** Food for Thought A Program for Living The OA program does much more than promote our recovery from compulsive overeating, essential as that is. It gives us a structure for our daily lives. Before OA, we chased illusions and despaired when they let us down. Now we have a concrete plan of action for living richer, fuller lives. We have found like-minded friends who help and encourage us. Instead of isolating ourselves and consuming, we are experiencing the fellowship of sharing. We find that the more we contribute to OA, the more we get out of it. Practicing the Twelve Steps involves every aspect of our lives. We cannot be honest in our efforts to work this program without being honest in all our affairs. What we learn about ourselves through OA can be applied to our other activities as well. We were eating compulsively because we did not know how to cope with the rest of life. As we become better equipped for living through the guidance of our Higher Power, we recover from our disease. Bless our program, we pray. ************************************************** Foundations of Evolution Acknowledging Your Growth by Madisyn Taylor Evolution of your soul is a natural fact of life and becomes a potent motivational force when celebrated. Since personal evolution is most often a slow and gradual process, it can be difficult to recognize the scope of the changes taking place in our lives. Yet it is important that we regularly acknowledge our ongoing growth and reward ourselves for the many wonderful feats of self-improvement we have accomplished. When we intentionally contemplate our progress, we need never feel that we are languishing between past achievements and the realization of future goals. If we look closely at our lives, we may see that much of what brings us pleasure in the present is representative of the ambitions of our past that we worked so hard to attain. At one time, the abundance we enjoy currently likely seemed like a far-off dream. Now it is simply reality—a reality we created through our diligence, passion, and unflagging determination. Whether our progress is fast or slow, we deserve to congratulate ourselves for our successes. To remind yourself of the insights you have gained with time, temporarily adopt an outsider’s perspective and carefully consider how your life in the present differs from the range of experiences you lived through in the past. Creating a written list, in a journal or otherwise, of those strengths, aptitudes, and inner qualities you now attribute to yourself can help you accept that you are not the same person you were one year ago, five years ago, or 10 years ago. Your attitudes, opinions, and values were likely markedly different, and these differences can be ascribed to your willingness to accept that you still have much to learn. If you have difficulty giving yourself credit for these changes, think about the goals you realized, the lives you touched, the wisdom you acquired, and the level of enlightenment you attained over the past years. Recognizing growth is neither boastful nor immodest. Evolution is a natural fact of life and becomes a potent motivational force when celebrated. Knowing that you are brighter, stronger, and more grounded than you once were, you can look forward to the changes to come. In acknowledging your growth, you build a sturdy foundation upon which you can continue to blossom well into the future. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The primary purpose of The Program is freedom from addiction; without that freedom we have nothing. But that doesn’t mean I can say, for example, “Sobriety is my only concern. Except for my drinking, I’m really a sure person, so give me sobriety, and I’ve got it made.” If I delude myself with such specious nonsense, I’ll make so little progress with my real life problems and responsibilities that I’ll likely return to my addiction. That’s why The Program’s Twelve Step urges us to “practice these principles in all our affairs.” Am I living just to be free of chemical dependence, or also to learn to serve, and to love? Today I Pray May I relish and be grateful for my sobriety, which is where all good things begin. But let me not stop at that and give up trying to understand myself, the nature of God and of humanity. Freedom from dependency is the first freedom. May I be certain that there are more to come — freedom from tight-mindedness, from the unrest of bottled-up feelings, from over-dependence on others, from a Godless existence. May The Program which answered my acute needs also answer my chronic ones. Today I Will Remember Sobriety is just a beginning. ************************************************** One More Day Quote: There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first. – Paramahansa Yogananda Friendships develop slowly and are based on mutual interests and understanding. They are tested by time, by changes in life circumstances, and even by health. To be a real friend means being there when the chips are down, even when no one else is. It means giving and not receiving, but trusting that our friends are prepared to do the same. Real friends take risks for one another — especially emotional risks — and still don’t leave. A cherished friendship is not questioned, for we know, deep in our hearts, that we will always be there to help our close friends. We know they will always be there to help us. I have strong and rewarding relationships. I cherish my friendships. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ACCEPTANCE “Because you’re not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who in truth, you are.” Madeleine L’Engle The Big Book of AA says, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems.” I am finding this to be true for me. Living in a household with several family members, I need to not focus on others’ faults. I can choose to practice acceptance by looking past what others do that I think they shouldn't do, and instead I can love them for who they are. In order to show unconditional love I must look past their shortcomings. I need to stop dwelling on the fact that they sometimes don’t do things the way I want them to. If I don't do that, anger and resentments follow and I find myself trying to control things and play God. We all know that doesn't work. It just causes misery and takes away my joy, peace and serenity. As I work my program of recovery, I am better off to “let go and let God” and just accept others as they are. Putting others in God’s hands and resisting the temptation to try to make things turn out the way I want them to is the definition of acceptance for me. When I love others unconditionally I experience peace and serenity beyond my wildest dreams. One day at a time ... I will practice the miracle of acceptance and unconditional love. ~ Bluerose ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the affect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life. That is true only if one is willing to turn the past to good account. We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets. The alcoholic's past thus becomes the principle asset of the family and frequently it is almost the only one! - Pg. 124 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote If 'I don't wanna,' 'I don't have time,' and 'Let someone else do it,' are your major responses to people asking for help, remember this: the recovery that was there for you may not be there for others if you don't serve. Service is one of the principles we practice. Tonight at the meeting I will serve my group by helping to clean up. Inner Hearing, Inner Sight Today, I will trust my own heart. The clear message that whispers within me has more to tell me than a thousand voices. I have a guide within me who knows what is best for me. There is a part of me that sees the whole picture and knows how it all fits together. My inner voice may come in the form of a strong sense, a pull from within, a gut feeling or a quiet knowing. However my inner voice comes to me, I will learn to pay attention. In my heart I know what is going on. Though I am conditioned by the world to look constantly outside myself for meaning, today I recognize that it is deeply important for me to hear what I am saying from within. I will trust my inner voice. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Our program does not teach us how to handle drinking and drugging. It teaches us how to handle recovery. Another day, another recovery! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book AA does not teach us how to handle drinking, it teaches us how to handle sobriety. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I love me because of all that I am, not just a part of me. I fully accept myself just as I am today and that feels so good. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The first time I drank alcohol, I was about 12 years old, and it made me feel so good that the way I felt without it was never really OK again. Never really. - Bob D. |
June 25
Daily Reflections A TWO-WAY STREET If we ask, God will certainly forgive our derelictions. But in no case does He render us white as snow and keep us that way without our cooperation. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 65 When I prayed, I used to omit a lot of things for which I needed to be forgiven. I thought that if I didn't mention those things to God, He would never know about them. I did not know that if I had just forgiven myself for some of my past deeds, God would forgive me also. I was always taught to prepare for the journey through life, never realizing until I came to A.A. when I honestly became willing to be taught forgiveness and forgiving that life itself is the journey. The journey of life is a very happy one, as long as I am willing to accept change and responsibility. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day One of the most encouraging facts of life is that your weakness can become your greatest asset. Kites and airplanes rise against the wind. In climbing up a high mountain, we need the stony crags and rough places to aid us in our climb. So your weakness can become an asset if you will face it, examine it, and trace it to its origin. Set it in the very center of your mind. No weakness, such as drinking, ever turned into an asset until it was first fairly faced. Am I making my weakness my greatest asset? Meditation For The Day Whenever we seek to worship God, we think of the great universe that God rules over, of creation, of mighty law and order throughout the universe. Then we feel the awe that precedes worship. I too must feel awe, feel the desire to worship God in wondering amazement. My mind is in a box of space and time and it is so made that I cannot conceive of what is beyond space or time, the limitless and the eternal. But I know that there must be something beyond space and time, and that something must be the limitless and eternal Power behind the universe. I also know that I can experience that Power in my life. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may accept the limitless and eternal Spirit. I pray that It may express Itself in my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Domination and Demand, p. 176 The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being. Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon dominating people we know, or we depend upon them far too much. If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity grows and festers. When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate. << << << >> >> >> My dependency meant demand -- a demand for the possession and control of other people and the conditions surrounding me. 1. 12 & 12, p. 53 2. Grapevine, January 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Transforming garbage. Handling the past Left to itself, nature takes ordinary garbage and transforms it into useful nutrients that help sustain life. It's usually poor human action that makes garbage a problem. Our mental and emotional garbage takes the forms of bad memories, festering resentments, and useless regrets. We waste time berating ourselves and others about bad decisions and experiences that are behind us. The magic of the 12 Step program is that we can use it to transform this mental garbage into useful experience. A past mistake can become as asset when we share it with others. Pain and suffering can teach a lesson that helps all of us to grow. By forgiving others, a resentment can be turned into a friendship. I'll resolve today not to worry about garbage any longer than it takes to identify it and release it to my Higher Power for transformation. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that three of his fingers are pointing at himself.---Louis Nizer It's so easy to blame others. Others are always making mistakes we can hide behind. That's what blame is---hiding. When we blame others for our mistakes, we're trying to hide our character defects. It's nobody else’s fault that we act the way we do. It's our fault. We're responsible for our actions. And with the help of our Higher Power, we can change. We can turn over our character defects. Over time, we're not afraid to learn about ourselves---even the parts we don't like---because we want to know ourselves better. Prayer for the Day: I pray for help in facing my character defects. Action for the Day: I'll think about the past week. I'll list times I've used blame to hide from reality. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches. --Alice Roosevelt Longworth All too often, we complicate our lives. We can wonder and worry our way into confusion; obsession or preoccupation it's often called. "What if?" "Will he?" "Should I?" "What do you think?" We seldom stop trying to figure out what to do, where to do it, how to meet a challenge, until someone reminds us to "keep it simple." What we each discover, again and again, is that the solution to any problem becomes apparent when we stop searching for it. The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when we remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is our frantic effort to personally solve the problem. We clutter our minds; we pray for an answer and yet don't become quiet enough, for long enough, to become aware of the direction to go, or the steps to take. And they are always there. Inherent in every problem or challenge is its solution. Our greatest lesson in life may be to keep it simple, to know that no problem stands in our way because no solution eludes a quiet, expectant mind. I have opportunities every day to still my mind. And the messages I need will come quietly. My answers are within me, now. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principle with who we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. So we were sore. We were “burned up.” p. 64-65 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. That was a big step for me; I finally began to separate the religious aspect of my life from A.A.'s spiritual program. Now the big difference to me is that religion is the ritual, and we all differ there, and spirituality is the way we feel about what we do. It's about my personal contact with my personal Higher Power, as I understand Him. p. 406 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." In one of their trade associations, the question arose of just how this campaign should be handled. Of course, they would use the resources of radio, press, and films to make their point. But what kind of person should head the job? They immediately thought of Alcoholics Anonymous. If they could find a good public relations man in our ranks, why wouldn't he be ideal? He'd certainly know the problem. His connection with A.A. would be valuable, because the Fellowship stood high in public favor and hadn't an enemy in the world. p. 157 ************************************************** ********* It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. --John Wooden "Never answer an angry word with an angry word. It's the second one that makes the quarrel." --W.A. Nance Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it--immediately. --Stephen Covey "Making prompt amends is the fresh air of each new day." --Sandra Little A man who has committed a mistake and doesn't correct it is committing another mistake. --Confucius "He who angers you conquers you." --Elizabeth Kenny *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation INTEGRITY "Integrity has no need of rules." --Albert Camus The benefit of a spiritual program is the development of integrity in my life. Integrity is having an honest respect for myself; it is respecting who I am and how I live in the world. Integrity also becomes a bridge by which I can reach my fellow man. My respect for my life develops a respect for others. My determination to have integrity affects the way I treat you. Integrity gives me freedom to be -- and this allows for an acceptance of you. Of course I must follow some rules and guidelines in my life but today they are not written in cement. Today I can be flexible with me and this means that I can be flexible with you. My past need to control has developed into an accepting serenity that brings peace. My spiritual program forever teaches me to be free; now I can live. I pray that I can see beyond the rules into the beauty of Integrity. ************************************************** ********* Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations. Psalm 100:4-5 For I will surely deliver you, and you shall not fall by the sword; but your life shall be as a prize to you, because you have put your trust in Me, says the LORD. Jeremiah 39:18 "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 "...in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Those that least deserve your love are the ones that need it the most. Lord, may I have the humbleness of spirit to reach out even when my feelings may be hurt. If you feel the need to get even, try getting even with those that have helped you. Lord, free me from any thoughts of revenge because this only shuts the door to my own happiness. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Not Just Lucky "The process of coming to believe restores us to sanity. The strength to move into action comes from this belief." Basic Text p. 24 Coming to believe is a process that stems from personal experience. Each of us has this experience; all addicts who find recovery in NA have solid evidence of a benevolent Power acting for good in their lives. Those of us who are recovering today, after all, are the fortunate ones. Many, many addicts die from our disease, never to experience what we have found in Narcotics Anonymous. The process of coming to believe involves a willingness to recognize miracles for what they are. We share the miracle of being here clean, and each of us has other miracles that await only our acknowledgment. How many car accidents or overdoses or other near-catastrophes have we survived? Can we look back at our lives and see that we were not just "lucky"? Our experience in recovery, too, gives us examples of a Higher Power working for our good. When we can look back at the evidence of a loving Higher Power acting on our behalf, it becomes possible to trust that this Higher Power will continue to help us in the future. And trust offers us the strength to move forward. Just for today: My recovery is more than coincidence. My strength comes from the knowledge that my Higher Power has never let me down and will continue to guide me. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end. --Ursula K. LeGuin Billy and his dad were excited about fan appreciation night. They wanted to get one of the souvenir baseballs thrown into the stands. As they hurried toward their seats, they saw a man drop a ten-dollar bill. Billy picked up the money. "Hey, Mister," he said loudly. The man in front of him turned around. "You dropped this." Billy handed him the money. "Thank you," said the man. Billy returned to his dad. Just as they reached their row, a ball came sailing towards their empty seats. Someone from the row behind caught it. Billy swallowed hard. "I know," said his dad, looking at Billy, "But you did the right thing." For his effort, Billy will bring home a souvenir far more lasting and valuable than a baseball or a ten-dollar bill. He will know the bittersweet feeling of making a sacrifice to do what is right. What sacrifice have I made to do what is right? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Some people greet the morning with a smile, but it's more natural to protest its presence with sleepy sulkiness. "Who asked you to come again?" we feel like saying to it, as if it were a most unwelcome guest. --Brendan Francis We begin with the truth and build on the firm foundation it provides. We often hear we should have a positive attitude, we should be grateful for the new day. Perhaps some days we feel enthusiasm, and it's wonderful when we do. But we don't need to turn it into a requirement because shoulds tend to keep us out of touch with our honest feelings. All feelings are acceptable. Whatever they are, the entire range of color and intensity of feelings comes from our Creator. Our task is dealing with them and responding to them. We begin by acknowledging them as they are. We do not have license to do whatever we feel like doing, only to feel what we feel. This point of honesty is a solid stepping-stone to grow from. We often find we feel different as soon as we admit our feelings. Today, I will admit my true feelings and accept them as stepping-stones. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches. --Alice Roosevelt Longworth All too often, we complicate our lives. We can wonder and worry our way into confusion; obsession or preoccupation it's often called. "What if?" "Will he?" "Should I?" "What do you think?" We seldom stop trying to figure out what to do, where to do it, how to meet a challenge, until someone reminds us to "keep it simple." What we each discover, again and again, is that the solution to any problem becomes apparent when we stop searching for it. The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when we remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is our frantic effort to personally solve the problem. We clutter our minds; we pray for an answer and yet don't become quiet enough, for long enough, to become aware of the direction to go, or the steps to take. And they are always there. Inherent in every problem or challenge is its solution. Our greatest lesson in life may be to keep it simple, to know that no problem stands in our way because no solution eludes a quiet, expectant mind. I have opportunities every day to still my mind. And the messages I need will come quietly. My answers are within me, now. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Withholding Sometimes, to protect ourselves, we close ourselves off from a person we're in a relationship with. Our body may be present, but we're not. We're not available to participate in the relationship. We shut down. Sometimes, it is appropriate and healthy to shut down in a relationship. We may legitimately need some time out. Sometimes it is self-defeating to close ourselves off in a relationship. To stop being vulnerable, honest, and present for another person can put an end to the relationship. The other person can do nothing in the relationship when we are gone. Closing ourselves makes us unavailable to that relationship. It is common to go through temporary periods of closing down in a relationship. But it is unhealthy to make this an ongoing practice. It may be one of our relationship sabotaging devices. Before we close down, we need to ask ourselves what we are hoping to accomplish by shutting down. Do we need some time to deal? To heal? To grow? To sort through things? Do we need time out from this relationship? Or are we reverting to our old ways - hiding, running, and terminating relationships because we are afraid we cannot take care of ourselves in any other way? Do we need to shut down because the other person truly isn't safe, is manipulating, lying, or acting out addictively or abusively? Are we shutting down because the other person has shut down and we no longer want to be available? Shutting down, shutting off, closing ourselves and removing our emotional presence from a relationship is a powerful tool. We need to use it carefully and responsibly. To achieve intimacy and closeness in a relationship, we need to be present emotionally. We need to be available. God, help me be emotionally present in the relationships I choose to be in. Today I sit quietly in prayer and meditation so that I can hear God's Will for me. I know that I am being guided in this very moment. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Ground Yourself So much of our growth is spiritual. Sometimes we fly so high, our soul soars into the heavens, touching life’s magic, sailing into the high spiritual realms. That is as it should be. But we need to be grounded,too. Even the tallest tree, the one that reaches hundreds of feet into the sky, has roots that go deep into the earth. The higher we want to travel on spiritual planes, the more we need to learn to ground ourselves. Our roots need to go deep into the earth,too. Touch things that grow in the earth. Walk on the grass. Sit on the ground. Feel its presence, its solid grounding energy, rise up into you. You are a soul, a spirit, but you have a body,too. Remember and nurture your spirit, but take time to attend to your body. Connect with what is physical, connect with the energy of the earth. Do the simple tasks that connect you to life on this planet– the day-to-day chores that connect you with your body and the rhythms of this world. Grow spiritually, but let your spiritual growth be grounded in daily life and the things on earth. That is how you stay grounded; that’s how you honor your body and stay connected to it. Grow spiritually, but let that growth reflect and honor embodied life. Just as the body and workings of an airplane give shape to the idea of an airplane and allow it to fly, your body gives shape, form, and freedom to your soul. But even airplanes need to land sometimes. Learn to tell when your body and soul need to come back to earth. Take time to get grounded. Then you’ll be able to soar. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Surrender to God’s will It was a stressful time in my life. I didn’t know what to do. I had pressing business decisions to make, and painful relationship issues to face. Everything felt like a mess. I gathered up a few favorite books, the Bible, a journal, and some clothes. Then I headed for the mountains, a resort that was a favorite place of mine to hide out in and gather my thoughts. I told myself, “I’m going to stay in there. Write in my journal. Pray. And meditate. I’m not coming out until I know what to do.” After forty-eight hours of writing about my problems, praying about my problems, and meditating about my problems, I remembered something a friend had said to me. “What are you doing?” he had asked. “I’m trying to surrender to God’s will.” “No you’re not, you’re trying to figure it out.” Within six months, each of the problems I was wrestling with worked themselves out. I was either guided into an action that naturally felt right at the time, or a solution came to me. The immediate solution to each problem was the same: let go. Just surrender to the situation taking place. Sometimes, what we need to do next is surrender. If you don’t like the word surrender, try calling it making peace. God, help me surrender to your will, especially when I don’t know what to do next. ************************************************** In God’s Care Thinking about interior peace destroys interior peace. The patient who constantly feels his pulse is not getting any better. ~~Hubert van Zeller As goal-oriented people, we are often determined to do such things as lose ten pounds, bring our cholesterol down to 180, read three books a month, spend fifteen minutes a day in meditation. We are constantly measuring ourselves by one standard or another – standards that we create for ourselves. We are so intent upon measuring up that we end up putting ourselves down. We all want peace of mind, but when that’s our focus, it eludes us. True peace comes not from trying to have peace, but in trying to find God’s will and doing it. Turning our will and our life over to the care of God is the formula for inner peace. And when we share God’s love with others, we are too pleasantly occupied to wonder if we’re happy – we just are. It’s all right to have goals, but peace comes from letting God run my life. ************************************************** Day By Day Analyzing Our constant analyzing could mean we don’t work the Steps; eventually, it could cost us our lives. It’s as if we were standing in a burning building, in front of a fire escape, trying to understand the principles of oxidation. What we need to do first is to get out of the fire; we can learn about oxidation – addiction and recovery – later. It is dangerous to stand on the fringes of addiction; it can be dangerous to delay a commitment. Have I made a clear choice? Higher Power, help me learn to relate to you as well as to my analytical mind. Today I will let go of analyzing and take Steps! ************************************************** *************** Food for Thought Accepting Change One day my mother and I were working together in the garden. We were transplanting some plant for the third time. Grown from seed in a small container, the plants had been transferred to a larger container; then transplanted into the garden. Now, because I was moving, we were transplanting them again. Inexperienced as a gardener, I turned to my green-thumbed mother. “Isn’t this bad for them?” I asked, as we dug them up and shook the dirt from their roots. “Won’t it hurt these plants, being uprooted and transplanted so many times?” “Oh, no,” my mother replied. “Transplanting doesn’t hurt them. In fact, it’s good for the ones that survive. That’s how their roots grow strong. Their roots will grow deep, and they’ll make strong plants.” Often, I’ve felt like those small plants – uprooted and turned upside down. Sometimes, I’ve endured the change willingly, sometimes reluctantly, but usually my reaction has been a combination. Won’t this be hard on me? I ask. Wouldn’t it be better if things remained the same? That’s when I remember my mother’s words – that’s how the roots grow deep and strong. Today, God, help me remember that during times of transition, my faith and my self are being strengthened. ************************************************** *************** Recognizing Our Own Abundance Planting the Seeds of Generosity by Madisyn Taylor One way to practice generosity is to give energy where it is needed whether that is in the form of time, money or love. The most difficult time to be generous is when we ourselves are feeling poor. While some of us have experienced actually being in the red financially, there are those of us who would feel broke even if we had a million dollars in the bank. Either way, as the old adage goes, it is always in giving that we receive. Meaning that when we are living in a state of lack, the very gesture we may least want to give is the very act that could help us create the abundance that we seek. One way to practice generosity is to give energy where it is needed. Giving money to a cause or person in need is one way to give energy. Giving attention, love, or a smile to another person are other acts of giving that we can offer. After all, there are people all over the world that are hungry for love. Sometimes when we practice generosity, we practice it conditionally. We might be expecting to “receive back” from the person to whom we gave. We might even become angry or resentful if that person doesn’t reciprocate. However, trust in the natural flow of energy, and you will find yourself practicing generosity with no strings attached. This is the purest form of giving. Remember that what you send out will always come back you. Selflessly help a friend in need without expecting them to return the same favor in the same way, and know that you, too, will receive that support from the universe when you need it. Besides, while giving conditionally creates stress (because we are waiting with an invisible balance sheet to receive our due), giving unconditionally creates and generates abundance. We give freely, because we trust that there is always an unlimited supply. Being aware of how much we are always supported by the universe is one of the keys to abundance and generosity. Consciously remember the times you’ve received support from expected and unexpected sources. Remember anyone who has helped you when you’ve needed it most, and bless all situations that come into your life for the lessons and gifts they bring you. Remember that all things given and received emanate from generosity. Giving is an act of gratitude. Plant the seeds of generosity through your acts of giving, and you will grow the fruits of abundance for yourself and those around you. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If ever I come to the complacent conclusion that I don’t need The Program any longer, let me quickly remind myself that it can do far more than carry me through the anguish of living in the bondage of addiction. Let me further remind myself that I can make even greater strides in fulfilling myself, for The Program and the Twelve Steps is a philosophy — a way of life. Will I ever outgrow my need for The Program? Today I Pray May my Higher Power lead me through the Twelve Steps, not just once, but again and again, until they become the guiding principles of my existence. This is no quickie seminar on improving the quality of my life; this is my life, restored to me through Divine Power and the friendship of my fellow addicts, who, like me, are recovering in the best known way. Today I Will Remember Step by Step, from bondage to abundant life. ************************************************** One More Day Quote: Nothing is more fatal to health than an over-care of it. – Benjamin Franklin Let’s face it. There are certain times when we become preoccupied with our health. After all, if we’d broken a leg we’d be abnormal if we weren’t concerned with how we were going to walk or how frustrating it was. Long-term medical problems are a different matter. If we continue to constantly talk about our health, we will drive away the people we need most. Talking less about our health problems may have benefits. We won’t be wearing down our friends and family members with our lengthy medical discussions, and we also may become more accepting. To be alive is to experience challenges, problems, and conflicts. Acceptance ensures that we’ll overcome some of the pain and that hope will be renewed. Acceptance does bring relief and peace. God will grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ***************************************** One Day At A Time STEP TWELVE “One must really have suffered oneself to help others.” Mother Teresa Before coming into the program, I always worked in some sort of caring profession and was always either helping or “fixing” someone else ~ mostly in areas in which I had no personal experience. I was a people-pleaser and I would be there for someone else. If anything needed to be done, I was the one to offer to do it. But ultimately that backfired because I would feel used and resentful, and I would land up in the food as my way of compensating. Since coming into program I have changed the way I help others. Instead of doing for others so they would like me -- or so I would get a pat on the back -- I share my experience, strength and hope with other compulsive overeaters. I have been where they have been, and I can share with them my struggles and how I've overcome them. Not only do I help others in the program with what I have learned, but, as they say, I can only keep what I have if I give it away. I get as much -- if not more -- from sharing with another in the program. How different this is from the way it was before I began the program, and I'm so grateful for that! One day at a time... I will share my experience, strength and hope with another compulsive overeater. By doing so, I get to keep what I have so generously been given in this program. ~ Sharon ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion. Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit. - Pg. 117 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote You are not your fault, but you are your responsibility. Others are not your fault either and they are their responsibility. Help me concentrate on my own problems and growth and not accept blame or give blame for things that belong to another. Being with Life Today, I allow myself just to be with life. Somehow, it doesn't have to prove anything to me or give me any more than I already have to be okay. The lessons I have learned through working through all that blocks my forgiveness have taught me that I can face my most difficult feelings and still come home to a place of love and acceptance. Life is always renewing itself; nothing lasts, good or bad, and that is just the way it is. It is enough today to enjoy my coffee, to take a walk, to appreciate the people in my life. I can rest in a quiet sort of understanding that this is what it's all about; all the searching turned up such an ordinary but beautiful thing. I am enraptured with the ordinary. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It really is a daily program. Think about it, if you only quit one day at a time, every day that you don't pick up will be an accomplishment. If you quit forever, you won't have accomplished anything until you're dead. Today, my one day. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Some people move when they see the light; alcoholics move when they feel the heat. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I sit quietly in prayer and meditation so that I can hear God's Will for me. I know that I am being guided in this very moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Which way did they go? How fast are they moving? How many are there? - I must find them, I'm their leader. ( Favorite of Ken D's ) |
June 26
Daily Reflections A GIFT THAT GROWS WITH TIME For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 151 The longer I chased these elusive feelings with alcohol, the more out of reach they were. However, by applying this passage to my sobriety, I found that it described the magnificent new life made available to me by the A.A. program. It "truly does get better" one day at a time. The warmth, the love and the joy so simply expressed in these words grow in breadth and depth each time I read it. Sobriety is a gift that grows with time. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We must know the nature of our weakness before we can determine how to deal with it. When we are honest about its presence, we may discover that it is imaginary and can be overcome by a change of thinking. We admit that we are alcoholics and we would be foolish if we refused to accept our handicap and do something about it. So by honestly facing our weakness and keeping ever present the knowledge that for us alcoholism is a disease with which we are afflicted, we can take the necessary steps to arrest it. Have I fully accepted my handicap? Meditation For The Day There is a proper time for everything. I must learn not to do things at the wrong time, that is, before I am ready or before conditions are right. It is always a temptation to do something at once, instead of waiting until the proper time. Timing is important. I must learn, in the little daily situations of life, to delay action until I am sure that I am doing the right thing at the right time. So many lives lack balance and timing. In the momentous decisions and crises of life, they may ask God's guidance, but into the small situations of life, they rush alone. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may delay action until I feel that I am doing the right thing. I pray that I may not rush in alone. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Money--Before and After, p. 177 In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply were inexhaustible, though between binges we'd sometimes go to the other extreme and become miserly. Without realizing it, we were just accumulating funds for the next spree. Money was the symbol of pleasure and self-importance. As our drinking became worse, money was only an urgent requirement which could supply us with the next drink and the temporary comfort of oblivion it brought. << << << >> >> >> Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we find we cannot place money first. For us, material well-being always follows spiritual progress; it never precedes. 1. 12 & 12, p. 120 2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 127 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Let it Happen Easy Does it. Student pilots learn a simple method for getting an airplane out of a stall; Release the stick forward, and the airplane rights itself. Continue to hold the stick back, and you cause a fatal spin. Many times, we cling too tightly to conditions that could simply right themselves if we would only let go. Situations often work themselves out when we stop pushing and pulling too hard. If we're living on a spiritual basis and following our 12 Step program, lots of unpleasant conditions will clear up without any strain or struggle on our part. The secret, then, is to do our part and act prudently, but also to be willing to let things happen. I'll remember today not to push or pull too hard to get my way. Things might work themselves out if I simply let natural forces work properly in every situation. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads.---Albert Camus Sometimes we sat we're getting out lives together. Together with what? With our selves. The Twelve Steps help us clean up the mess we've made. We're fixing our mistakes. We're looking at ourselves closely---at what we believe, what we feel, what we like to do, who we are. We're asking our High Power to help us to be our best. No wonder over lives are coming together! No wonder we feel more peace, harmony, and happiness! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember the best harmony comes when I sing from Your songbook. Action for the Day: Today, I'll make choices that are in line with who I am. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Mental health, like dandruff, crops up when you least expect it. --Robin Worthington We're responsible for the effort but not the outcome. Frequently, a single problem or many problems overwhelm us. We may feel crazy, unable to cope and certain that we have made no progress throughout this period of recovery. But we have. Each day that we choose sobriety, that we choose abstinence from pills or food, we are moving more securely toward mental health as a stable condition. We perhaps felt strong, secure, on top of things last week, or yesterday. We will again tomorrow, or maybe today. When we least expect it, our efforts pay off--quietly, perhaps subtly, sometimes loudly--a good belly laugh may signal a glimmer of our mental health. No one achieves an absolute state of total mental health. To be human is to have doubts and fears. But as faith grows, as it will when we live the Twelve Steps, doubts and fears lessen. The good days will increase in number. Meeting a friend, asking for a raise, resolving a conflict with my spouse, or friend, will be handled more easily, when I least expect it. Looking forward with hope, not backward, is my best effort--today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with? p. 65 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A DRUNK, LIKE YOU - The more he listened at meetings, the more he came to know about his own drinking history. Everything has turned around. I found a new job, which I then decided to leave. I opened my own business. I was able to put my two sons through college at large universities. My oldest son's great passion was to go on road trips to get away from home when it was time to come home on school breaks; now he comes home regularly and brings friends. The younger son comes home often and calls regularly. My marriage is no longer on the brink and is better than ever. And the best is yet to come. All this and more I owe to the Fellowship in the rooms and the program in the book. p. 406 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." Soon they'd spotted their man, an A.A. with the necessary experience. Straightway he appeared at New York's A.A. headquarters, asking, "Is there anything in our tradition that suggests I shouldn't take a job like this one? The kind of education seems good to me, and is not too controversial. Do you headquarters folks see any bugs in it?" pp. 157-158 ************************************************** ********* However many holy words you read, However many you speak, What good will they do you, If you do not act upon them? --Buddha If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were. --Kahlil Gibran The true test of character is not how much we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do. --John Holt Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others. --Wilfred Peterson "Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content." --Helen Keller "Seven days without a meeting makes one weak." --unknown "There is no one giant step that does it. It's a lot of little steps." --Peter A. Cohen Words are powerful tools. Use them to help and not hurt. --Cited in BITS & PIECES *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation GENIUS "In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous." --Robert G. Ingersoll Spirituality is a creative and positive energy that forever seeks new ways to improve and heal itself. Spirituality is never satisfied with mediocrity. God is alive in musicians, writers, singers and prophets -- and always the standard of "excellence" is searched for; best can be made better! As a drunk I often settled for convenience, "no sweat", mediocrity. My motto was "Why bother? It can be done tomorrow." I had low energy. Addiction robs the human being of God's productive energy. In recovery I seek the best because I believe I am the best; God made me -- and I respect His choice! Lord, save me from the "comfortable way" that makes no demands on my genius. ************************************************** ********* As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor -- this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 5:19 "The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with Him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, 'Return home and tell how much God has done for you.' So the man went away and told all over town how much Jesus had done for him." Luke 8:38-39 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Enjoy life while you've got the chance. Lord, may I view each day as a gift and a privilege. Knowing about God and knowing God are very different things. Lord, may I recognize Your workings in my life so that I may really know You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Surrendering Self-Will "Our fears are lessened and faith begins to grow as we learn the true meaning of surrender. We are no longer fighting fear, anger, guilt, self-pity, or depression." Basic Text p. 26 Surrender is the beginning of a new way of life. When driven primarily by self-will, we constantly wondered whether we'd covered all the bases, whether we'd manipulated that person in just the right way to achieve our ends, whether we'd missed a critical detail in our efforts to control and manage the world. We either felt afraid, fearing our schemes would fail; angry or self-pitying when they fell through; or guilty when we pulled them off. It was hard, living on self-will, but we didn't know any other way. Not that surrender is always easy. On the contrary, surrender can be difficult, especially in the beginning. Still, it's easier to trust God, a Power capable of managing our lives, than to trust only ourselves, whose lives are unmanageable. And the more we surrender, the easier it gets. When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power, all we have to do is our part, as responsibly and conscientiously as we can. Then we can leave the results up to our Higher Power. By surrendering, acting on faith, and living our lives according to the simple spiritual principles of this program, we can stop worrying and start living. Just for today: I will surrender self-will. I will seek knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry it out. I will leave the results in my Higher Power's hands. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. One cricket said to another, -- come, let us be ridiculous, and say love! --Conrad Aiken Let's all sit in a circle and take turns being ridiculous about what our love is like. Let's play tag with it, and pass it on. Let's say that our love is like diamonds sprinkled on a clear moonless sky, and let's pass it on. Let's say it's like one rose petal too tender to touch, and let's pass it on. Let's say it's like rainbows filling a city sky, and pass it on. Let's say it's small and hard, like an agate or shell, and let's keep passing it on. We can find images for love all around us, and when we express it to others this way, it grows. What is my love like today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. God is near me (or rather in me), and yet I may be far from God because I may be far from my own true self. --C. E. Roll Our relationship with God and our relationship with ourselves are always interwoven. Sometimes we feel disconnected from ourselves or emotionally flat. We may block the flow of communication with our deeper selves by trying to evade a difficult or painful truth. At those times we grope for some kind of contact and may even ask, "Where is God?" God is always with us, but sometimes we are the missing party. In the past, most of us were deeply alienated from ourselves and from our Higher Power. Our first moments of spiritual awakening may have been when we saw how far we were from our true selves. This honest message from ourselves to ourselves was painful but was also a re-contact with the truth that made it possible to find God. I need not ask where God is because God is loving and always near. I only need to ask, "Where am I?" You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Mental health, like dandruff, crops up when you least expect it. --Robin Worthington We're responsible for the effort but not the outcome. Frequently, a single problem or many problems overwhelm us. We may feel crazy, unable to cope and certain that we have made no progress throughout this period of recovery. But we have. Each day that we choose sobriety, that we choose abstinence from pills or food, we are moving more securely toward mental health as a stable condition. We perhaps felt strong, secure, on top of things last week, or yesterday. We will again tomorrow, or maybe today. When we least expect it, our efforts pay off--quietly, perhaps subtly, sometimes loudly--a good belly laugh may signal a glimmer of our mental health. No one achieves an absolute state of total mental health. To be human is to have doubts and fears. But as faith grows, as it will when we live the Twelve Steps, doubts and fears lessen. The good days will increase in number. Meeting a friend, asking for a raise, resolving a conflict with my spouse, or friend, will be handled more easily, when I least expect it. Looking forward with hope, not backward, is my best effort--today. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Surviving Slumps A slump can go on for days. We feel sluggish, unfocused, and sometimes overwhelmed with feelings we can't sort out. We may not understand what is going on with us. Even our attempts to practice recovery behaviors may not appear to work. We still don't feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as good as we would like. In a slump, we may find ourselves reverting instinctively to old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, even when we know better. We may find ourselves obsessing, even when we know that what we're doing is obsessing and that it doesn't work. We may find ourselves looking frantically for other people to make us feel better, the whole time knowing our happiness and well being does not lay with others. We may begin taking things personally that are not our issues, and reacting in ways we've learned all to well do not work. We're in a slump. It won't last forever. These periods are normal, even necessary. These are the days to get through. These are the days to focus on recovery behaviors, whether or not the rewards occur immediately. These are sometimes the days to let ourselves be and love ourselves as much as we can. We don't have to be ashamed, no matter how long we've been recovering. We don't have to unreasonably expect "more" from ourselves. We don't ever have to expect ourselves to live life perfectly. Get through the slump. It will end. Sometimes, a slump can go on for days and then, in the course of an hour, we see ourselves pull out of it and feel better. Sometimes it can last a little longer. Practice one recovery behavior in one small area, and begin to climb uphill. Soon, the slump will disappear. We can never judge where we will be tomorrow by where we are today. Today, I will focus on practicing one recovery behavior on one of my issues, trusting that this practice will move me forward. I will remember that acceptance, gratitude, and detachment are a good place to begin. Today I know that I am being guided and protected by a power greater than myself. I look forward to the unknown around the next bend in the road, the adventure over the next hill. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Say Good-Bye with Love When traveling with another person, we sometimes come to a junction. It may be in the best interests of one person to go one way to see certain sights, gain certain experiences, learn particular lessons, and for the other to go in another direction. This is a difficult time of challenges, maybe hard choices. Blending journeys sometimes is not always best, or even possible. We can accompany another on his or her journey, but there may be a price to pay for that. We may forgo our own journey and become passive observers. We can ask or insist that the other go along with us on our journey. But for the most part, he or she may be as bored and restless as we would be if the situation were reversed. Sometimes we need to let go. Sometimes we need to say good-bye. These junctions can surprise us. They can appear early on or after years and years. They can occur in friendships, professional relationships, love relationships, or with family members. Although arriving at these junctions may be a surprise, it’s usually not an accident. often it’s an important part of the journey. Feel all your feelings. Although you may need to feel angry for a while, clear all resentments from your heart as soon as possible. Say good-bye with blessings and love toward the other, thanking that person for all he or she has helped you learn. Remember that any curses you place on another will ultimately come back to harm you,too. Grieve your losses. Say your good-byes. then let each travel down the road that he or she needs to go. Holding on won’t help. Let both be free to plan their own journeys, map their own trips, and embrace and enjoy their own destinies. Set others free to achieve and experience the path that leads to their highest good and you, too, will become free to find yours. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Take a time-out “Tickets! Tickets!” And you give yours to the big man in the beard and the T-shirt at the gate and step onto the carousel. So many choices! Horses and carriages of every color. The white one with the golden tail? The green one with fire in his eyes? Yes, he looks fast– but no, someone else got there first. You settle for the black-and-red horse with the sparkling silver saddle. Someone bumps past, leaving sticky cotton candy on your arm. And then the music starts– loud, creaky organ music, blaring through old blown-out speakers. The lights flash on and off, and the world spins around you. Children shriek in delight while you tug on the reins, guide your mount around the course, and try to let go of the nagging suspicion that the green horse would have been more fun. You vow to get back in line and get that one next time. Step off of the carousel. Take a break for a moment and watch all the horses go hurrying past. The green one is no better than the red one, just different, and certainly not any faster. All your frantic pulling on the reins is wasted effort,too. See, they come right back again. They keep right on going around whether you are there or not. Let them. Sure, it’s fun to be on the ride, to be right in the middle of all the action, up and down,’ round and ’round, lights flashing, music blaring. Just remember that you have a choice. You can be on the ride, or you can get off. Be where you want to be, and occasionally, relax. God, help me remember that I have choices, and relaxing and letting go are two of them. ************************************************** In God’s Care Prayer for many is like a foreign land, when we go there, we go as tourists. ~~Robert McAfee Brown One of the many benefits of our Twelve Step program is to make prayer a familiar experience in our life. If prayer has been difficult for us, we are encouraged when we hear other people talk about what prayer has meant in their lives. Matthew Fox says prayer is nothing more than being joyfully attentive to life, moment by moment. We don’t have to speak certain words or assume a particular posture or demeanor. We simply must be awake to the currents in our life and be grateful. The most wonderful gift of prayer is the friendship we discover with God. This friendship promises security in the midst of any turmoil. We can know this security at any time. It is available in the quiet of our mind when we recall God’s presence and hear, ever so softly, all is well. Making the choice to pray, to let God offer comfort will become easier with each surrender. Today, I will seek God’s comforting presence through prayer, even if my words fail me. ************************************************** ************* Day By Day Listening by reading We need to listen to drug-free members of the program to hear what it takes to stay clean and sober. But “listening” is not limited to meetings: There is a lot of literature that discusses the program and how to work it more effectively. When we first come into the program, it is wise to keep our mouths shut and our eyes and ears open. Reading books, magazines, and pamphlets is an important way of listening. It is a gift from our fellow addicts that so much listening is available to us. Am I well read on the program? Higher Power, help me to “listen” in all the ways available to me Today I will read… ************************************************** ************* Food for Thought Abstaining Is Not Easy Abstaining is not easy, but it is much easier than overeating! The reason that we think it easy to overeat is because overeating was a habit. In actuality, processing the extra food was hard on us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When we abstain, we break an old habit and learn a new one. The transition requires concentration and dedication. We abstain every minute of the day and night. Even when we are eating, we are abstaining, because we are eating only planned, moderate meals. We are not overeating compulsively, according to whim and irrational pressure. Some of us apparently have to go through a certain amount of “white knuckled abstinence” before we arrive at the point where abstaining is easier than not abstaining. Others of us are able from the beginning to relax and abstain comfortably. Whatever our individual experience, we each have available to us the Higher Power that sees us through. May I stay with You when the way is hard. ************************************************** ************* Unhindered Movement Get Out of Your Own Way by Madisyn Taylor So often we are sabotaging ourselves by being in our own way without even know we are doing so. When you find yourself facing obstacles that appear to be blocking you from your goals, it is important to try not to get discouraged. It can be easy to feel “stuck” or that “life” is creating circumstances preventing you from getting what you want. And while it is easy to look at everyone and everything outside of ourselves for the problem, perhaps even wanting to “get rid” of the person, object, or circumstance we may feel is blocking us, sometimes the best course of action to take may be to look inside ourselves first. It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results. If you believe that you’ve been standing in your own way, you may want to take a piece of paper and record how you’ve done so. Write down the choices you’ve made that have hindered your efforts and the fears that may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle and compassionate during this process. Try not to blame yourself for getting in your own way. Remember the choices we make always are there to serve us, until it is time to let them go. When you are finished, throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you’ve created to block yourself. You can then let yourself start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously thwarting yourself. Besides, now that you’ve decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succ! eed can now do so. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day How many of us would presume to announce, “Well, I’m sober and I’m happy. What more can I want, or do? I’m fine just the way I am.” Experience has taught us that the price of such smug complacency — or, more politely, self-satisfaction — is an inevitable backslide, punctuated sooner or later by a very rude awakening. We have to grow, or else we deteriorate. For us, the status quo can only be for today, never for tomorrow. Change we must; we can’t stand still. Am I sometimes tempted to rest on my laurels?” Today I Pray May I look around me and see that all living things are either growing or deteriorating; nothing that is alive is static, life flows on. May I be carried along on that life-flow, unafraid of change, disengaging myself from the snags along the way which hold me back and interrupt my progress. Today I Will Remember Living is changing. ************************************************** One More Day A man can’t retire his experience. He must use it. – Bernard Baruch We may want to pretend that some of our life experiences didn’t happen to us, but they did happen. We even helped create some of our bad experiences. We can own our behaviors and attitudes and even admit to the ones we are not comfortable with. By doing so, we are not permanently passing judgment on ourselves. We can use our negative experiences as a basis for the changes we need to make. Our weaknesses can be useful to us when we let them teach us where we need to begin our change. They will lead us to new attitudes and strengths we will be proud to claim as our own. When we are ready, we can create and accept improvements in ourselves. I am the sum total of my experiences. I can use my past experiences to guide me into positive change. ***************************************** One Day At A Time TOOLS ”We shall neither fail nor falter; we shall not weaken or tire... give us the tools and we will finish the job.” Winston Churchill We use tools everyday to complete a task at hand. To cook, we need tools such as pots, pans, knives, and silverware; to tend to our laundry, we need soap and water; to clean our home, we use a vacuum, dust rags, and cleaners. Our journey of recovery is handled in the same way. The tools we use to help us throughout each day include: Step Work, Sponsorship, Meetings, Prayer, Meditation, Writing, Literature, Meal Plan, Service and Abstinence. These tools assist us in keeping our days balanced and they allow for a meaningful, productive day, each day of our recovery. We hold strong to our recovery with the assistance of these tools, building our endurance each day. Like soldiers marching across the field, we are on the frontline day-to-day. By using these tools and keeping them close to us, we are ready to take on anything that might come our way. One day at a time... Give us the tools, and I will keep them close to me. ~ Kimber ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery! - Pg. 73 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Some addicts have returned to using mind-affecting chemicals because they tried to 'cope forever' and couldn't face never, ever using anything again. But you can maintain abstinence by just not picking up that first dose of anything NOW. Forget forever. Give me the understanding that what I cannot do for a lifetime, I may easily do right now. Healing Society Today, I will light one candle and that candle is myself. I will keep my own flame burning. I turn my sight to light and love and goodness. For today, there is no need to be discouraged. So what if I see and identify all the ills of society and diagnose it as sick - what good will that do me or anyone else? I heal society by healing myself. Just as life is lived one day at a time, the world will heal one person at a time. Each time I think a positive, loving thought, it goes into the ether and vibrates. This is nothing particularly mystical; I have but to sit near someone and look at thier face to feel how their thoughts affect me. I take ownership of my owner inner workings and their effect on myself and others. I do my part to heal the world. - Tian Dayton PhD "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Love is less a feeling than a thousand tiny acts of kindness. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am willing to let go of all the resentments that I am holding. My now is so much more important than the burden that I have been carrying from the past. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If you're new, take off your pack and stay with us for a while. Because you are going to have a life that's beyond your wildest dreams. You will get closer to knowing yourself, you will be introduced to yourself in this programme. - Sharon B. |
June 27
Daily Reflections CONFORMING TO THE A.A. WAY We obey A.A.'s Steps and Traditions because we really want them for ourselves. It is no longer a question of good or evil; we conform because we genuinely want to conform. Such is our process of growth in unity and function. Such is the evidence of God's grace and love among us. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 106 It is fun to watch myself grow in A.A. I fought conformity to A.A. principles from the moment I entered, but I learned from the pain of my belligerence that, in choosing to live the A.A. way of life, I opened myself to God's grace and love. Then I began to know the full meaning of being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day If you can take your troubles as they come, if you can maintain your calm and composure amid pressing duties and unending engagements, if you can rise above the distressing and disturbing circumstances in which you are set down, you have discovered a priceless secret of daily living. Even if you are forced to go through life weighed down by some unescapable misfortune or handicap and yet live each day as it comes with poise and peace of mind, you have succeeded where most people have failed. You have wrought a greater achievement than a person who rules a nation. Have I achieved poise and peace of mind? Meditation For The Day Take a blessing with you wherever you go. You have been blessed, so bless others. Such stores of blessings are awaiting you in the months and years that lie ahead. Pass on your blessings. Blessing can and does go around the world, passed on from one person to another. Shed a little blessing in the heart of one person. That person is cheered to pass it on, and so, God's vitalizing, joy-giving message travels on. Be a transmitter of God's blessings. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may pass on my blessings. I pray that they may flow into the lives of others. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Down To Earth, p. 178 Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 130 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Have I ever been helped? Unselfishness. Sometimes we hear hard luck stories by people who claim they never "had a single helping hand." Everybody was against them. It's true that certain people have had more than their share of abuse and abandonment. But it's hard to believe that helping hands haven't been extended... acts of kindness, often made by selfless but ordinary people. Our problem has been in recognizing such helping hands. Lost in self-pity, we could hardly have recognized help when it was given. Nor were we capable of giving constructive assistance to others. Furthermore, if people were against us, we may have provoked it. Our task is to change our thinking about the past and to be grateful for the people who were kind to us. I realize that there are kind and decent people who have helped me. There are many such people in the world, and I want to be one of them. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Hell is not to love anymore.---Geogre Bernanos Someone in an AA group said, "From the first day I started this program, I felt like I had died and gone to heaven." This person had walked into a room full of love. In recovery, we are spiritual people because we believe in love. We have faith in love. Love is respect. Love is truth with kindness. Love is being willing to forgive and help others. Love is thinking about how our Higher Power wants us to act. Love is what we do best. We have turned our will and our life over to love. Prayer for the Day: I pray that I may love all parts of life. Higher Power, help me seek out love, not material things. Action for the Day: Today, I'll think about what I love about recovery. I will share this with a couple of friends and my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Often God shuts a door in our face, and then subsequently opens the door through which we need to go. --Catherine Marshall We try and try to control the events of our lives. And not seldom the events in others' lives, too. The occasions are frequent when our will conflicts with God's. Then for a time we feel at a loss. Our direction is uncertain. But always, always, another door opens. A better way beckons. How stubborn we are! And how simple life would be were we to daily, fully, turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. God's help and direction in all things are always available. Turning a deaf ear is like trying to find a seat in a darkened movie theater unaided by the usher. Every experience is softened when we face it accompanied by our higher power. Any past struggle, any present fear, is a testament to our attempts to do it alone. Too frequently we forge ahead, alone, only to have our way blocked. The detours need never be there. No door closes unless there is a better way. Divine order will prevail. There is no need to struggle, today. I will breathe deeply and take my higher power with me, wherever I go. And the doors will be open for as far as I can see. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS We were usually as definite as this example: I'm resentful at: The Cause: Affects my: Mr.Brown His attention to my Sex relations. wife. Self-esteem (fear) Told my wife of my Sex relations. mistress. Self-esteem (fear) Brown may get my Security. job at the office. Self-esteem (fear) Mrs. Jones She's a nut---she Personal Relation- snubbed me. She ship. Self-esteem committed her hus- (fear) band for drinking. He's my friend. She's a gossip. My employer Unreasonable-Unjust Self-esteem (fear) -O v e r b e a r i n g- Security. Threatens to fire me for drinking and padding my ex- pence account. My wife Misunderstands and P r i d e--P e r s o n a l nags. Likes Brown. s e x r e l a t i o n s-- Wants house put in Security (fear) her name. p. 65 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ACCEPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER - The physician wasn't hooked, he thought--he just prescribed drugs medically indicated for his many ailments. Acceptance was his key to liberation. If there ever was anyone who came to A.A. by mistake, it was I. I just didn't belong here. Never in my wildest moments had it occurred to me that I might like to be an alcoholic. Never once had my mother even hinted at the idea that, when I grew up, I might like to be president of A.A. Not only did I not think that being an alcoholic was a good idea, I didn't even feel that I had all that much of a drinking problem! Of course, I had problems, all sorts of problems. "If you had my problems, you'd drink too" was my feeling. p. 407 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." At first glance, it did look like a good thing. Then doubt crept in. The association wanted to use our member's full name in all its advertising; he was to be described both as its director of publicity and as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Of course, there couldn't be the slightest objection if such an association hired an A.A. member solely because of his public relations ability and his knowledge of alcoholism. But that wasn't the whole story, for in this case not only was an A.A. member to break his anonymity at a public level, he was to link the name Alcoholics Anonymous to this particular educational project in the minds of millions. It would be bound to appear that A.A. was now backing education--liquor trade association style. p. 158 ************************************************** ********* Set others free to achieve and experience the path that leads to their highest good and you, too, will become free to find yours. --Melody Beattie Learn a lesson from the redwoods. Let them teach the power of patience and calm. Life goes on. Things happen. People change. Times move along. There are stories to live and stories to tell, but we can be calm and know that, always, all is well. --Melody Beattie "Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt." --Mary McLeod Bethune "Life holds so much--so much to be so happy about always. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can be felt only if you don't set conditions." --Artur Robinstein Applaud others when they run. Console them when they fall. And cheer them when they recover. As water is to a flower so is praise to the heart of another. --Unknown Abundance comes from your gifts of love. --unknown *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation HYPOCRISY "The devil can cite scripture for his purpose." --William Shakespeare This quotation reminds me that the disease of alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful". I am aware of the need to walk like I talk, to make the action fit the word, to live my program today rather than talk about it for tomorrow. Why? Because the disease can talk program! I have caught myself saying things that I do not practice in my life. I catch myself saying things to others that I do not live out in my own life. Today I am aware of my hypocrisy. Today I am aware of the disease in my life. I need to be aware of this aspect of the disease because I am such a good talker, such a convincing talker, such a practiced manipulator! Today I know that I am not perfect, but that should never be an excuse to avoid dealing with my character defects. I must not "con" myself into staying sick! I pray that I may strive to live the message. ************************************************** ********* If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:15-16 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is normal to make mistakes, but it is the better person who is able to grow from them. Lord, I am not perfect, but may each day bring me a little closer. Not only must we know God's will, but we must do God's will to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Lord, I commit myself to obeying the will of my heavenly Father. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Change And Growth "When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive. There will always be room for growth." Basic Text, p. 35 Recovery is a process that brings about change in our lives. We need that change if we are to continue our growth toward freedom. It's important that we remain open-minded when others point out our shortcomings, for they are bringing to light opportunities for us to change and grow. Reacting defensively limits our ability to receive the help they are offering us; letting go of our defenses opens the door to change, growth, and new freedom. Each day in the recovery process will bring an opportunity for further change and growth. The more we learn to greet change with an open mind and heart, the more we will grow and the more comfortable we will become with our recovery. Just for today: I will greet each opportunity for growth with an open mind. Pg. 185 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us. --Helen Keller In the game of musical chairs, everyone walks around a circle of chairs. When the music stops, they scramble for the nearest open chair. If we were playing this game and found the nearest chairs taken, wouldn't we quickly look around for the next open one? To remain immobilized, angry that the chair we wanted was taken, would undoubtedly lose our place in the game. Sometimes in life, we set our sights on a particular chair. Perhaps there is an award we want to win, or we want to be the high scorer on our team. Perhaps there is a promotion or a job we would like to get. When we do not get what we want, it is easy to keep looking at what we didn't get instead of seeing all we have. It is important to be grateful for what we have--for the open doors and empty chairs waiting and inviting our attention. Loss and disappointment are a part of life--but the music will play again and our lives can move on. What is available to me today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The tremor of awe is the best in man. --Goethe We have a spiritual experience in knowing and being touched by something much larger than us, something beyond what we understand, something of mysterious dimensions. It can happen as we stand on the banks of an ageless river, listen to beautiful music, read scripture, or say a prayer with a friend. When we set aside defiance, willfulness, and our demands to subdue whatever we meet, we become receptive to a larger reality. The experience of awe brings out the best in a man because it instills a spirit of respect and gratitude. It inspires humility and expands our minds into realms we can't express in words. The sense of awe is a kind of reverence. After we learn where our personal awe is inspired, we can return to it again and again. As we feel it more, we become more open to it in the mundane parts of our daily lives. Today we might feel the spirit in the visit of a wild bird on a branch, the spontaneous "Hi" from a small child, or the stillness before prayer at the dinner table. Today, I will look for moments of awe in my life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Often God shuts a door in our face, and then subsequently opens the door through which we need to go. --Catherine Marshall We try and try to control the events of our lives. And not seldom the events in others' lives, too. The occasions are frequent when our will conflicts with God's. Then for a time we feel at a loss. Our direction is uncertain. But always, always, another door opens. A better way beckons. How stubborn we are! And how simple life would be were we to daily, fully, turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. God's help and direction in all things are always available. Turning a deaf ear is like trying to find a seat in a darkened movie theater unaided by the usher. Every experience is softened when we face it accompanied by our higher power. Any past struggle, any present fear, is a testament to our attempts to do it alone. Too frequently we forge ahead, alone, only to have our way blocked. The detours need never be there. No door closes unless there is a better way. Divine order will prevail. There is no need to struggle, today. I will breathe deeply and take my higher power with me, wherever I go. And the doors will be open for as far as I can see. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Achieving Harmony When a pianist learns a new piece of music, he or she does not sit down and instantly play it perfectly. A pianist often needs to practice each hand's work separately to learn the feel, to learn the sound. One hand picks out a part until there is a rhythm and ease in playing what is difficult. Then, the musician practices with the other hand, picking through the notes, one by one, until that hand learns its tasks. When each hand has learned its part - the sound, the feel, the rhythm, and the tones - then both hands can play together. During the time of practice, the music may not sound like much. It may sound disconnected, not particularly beautiful. But when both hands are ready to play together, music is created - a whole piece comes together in harmony and beauty. When we begin recovery, it may feel like we spend months, even years, practicing individual, seemingly disconnected behaviors in the separate parts of our life. We take our new skills into our work, our career, and begin to apply them slowly, making our work relationships healthier for us. We take our skills into our relationships, sometimes one relationship at a time. We struggle through our new behaviors in our love relationships. One part at a time, we practice our new music note by note. We work on our relationship with our Higher Power - our spirituality. We work at loving ourselves. We work at believing we deserve the best. We work on our finances. On our recreation. Sometimes on our appearance. Sometimes on our home. We work on feelings. On beliefs. On behaviors. Letting go of the old, acquiring the new. We work and work and work. We practice. We struggle through. We go from one extreme to the other, and sometimes back through the course again. We make a little progress, go backward, and then go forward again. It may all seem disconnected. It may not sound like a harmonious, beautiful piece of music - just isolated notes. Then one day, something happens. We become ready to play with both hands, to put the music together. What we have been working toward, note by note, becomes a song. That song is a whole life, a complete life, and a life in harmony. The music will come together in our life if we keep practicing the parts. Today, I will practice my recovery behaviors through the individual parts of my life. I trust that, one day, things will come together in a full, complete song. I have all the power I need today to say no to negative choices. The personal choices I make today are positive and healthy. I take responsibility for my life today. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Learn to Be Calm I felt strained and tense when I began the drive along the Redwood Highway in northern California.. I had wanted to take another road, one quicker but less scenic, to get to my destination. At the last moment, I decided to drive through the trees. Thousands of redwoods grew hundreds of feet into the air. Some stood tall and proud. Some seemed to have their necks craned, so they could peer down onto the highway. Some grew with roots connected, like families. Some stood alone. Mile after mile after mile, for as far as I could see in any direction, thousands of trees surrounded me. Their power and message became inescapable. It was one of calmness, patience, and growth. For hundreds of years they have been here, patiently seeing things through. Little ruffled them. They just kept on growing for all those years-- steadily, patiently, peacefully, calmly. They have been through enough, seen enough, to know not to worry. Things work out. Change happens. Life continues to evolve. I didn't see one tree hurrying or worrying. They have been here long enough to learn life's lessons well. Learn a lesson from the redwoods. Let them teach the power of patience and calm. Life goes on. Things happen. People change. Times move along. There are stories to live and stories to tell, but we can be calm and know that, always, all is well. ************************************************** The Language of Letting Go Achieving Harmony When a pianist learns a new piece of music, he or she does not sit down and instantly play it perfectly. A pianist often needs to practice each hand’s work separately to learn the feel, to learn the sound. One hand picks out a part until there is a rhythm and ease in playing what is difficult. Then, the musician practices with the other hand, picking through the notes, one by one, until that hand learns its tasks. When each hand has learned its part – the sound, the feel, the rhythm, and the tones – then both hands can play together. During the time of practice, the music may not sound like much. It may sound disconnected, not particularly beautiful. But when both hands are ready to play together, music is created – a whole piece comes together in harmony and beauty. When we begin recovery, it may feel like we spend months, even years, practicing individual, seemingly disconnected behaviors in the separate parts of our life. We take our new skills into our work, our career, and begin to apply them slowly, making our work relationships healthier for us. We take our skills into our relationships, sometimes one relationship at a time. We struggle through our new behaviors in our love relationships. One part at a time, we practice our new music note by note. We work on our relationship with our Higher Power – our spirituality. We work at loving ourselves. We work at believing we deserve the best. We work on our finances. On our recreation. Sometimes on our appearance. Sometimes on our home. We work on feelings. On beliefs. On behaviors. Letting go of the old, acquiring the new. We work and work and work. We practice. We struggle through. We go from one extreme to the other, and sometimes back through the course again. We make a little progress, go backward, and then go forward again. It may all seem disconnected. It may not sound like a harmonious, beautiful piece of music – just isolated notes. Then one day, something happens. We become ready to play with both hands, to put the music together. What we have been working toward, note by note, becomes a song. That song is a whole life, a complete life, and a life in harmony. The music will come together in our life if we keep practicing the parts. Today, I will practice my recovery behaviors through the individual parts of my life. I trust that, one day, things will come together in a full, complete song. ************************************************** People Who Don’t Get It Living with It by Madisyn Taylor When dealing with people who seem very unaware, remember that everyone must find their own way to awakening. You may be someone who understands the true nature of reality, perceiving deeply that we all emanate from the same source, that we are all essentially one, and that we are here on earth to love one another. To understand this is to be awakened to the true nature of the self, and it is a blessing. Nevertheless, people who just don’t get it are seemingly everywhere and, often, in positions of power. It can be frustrating and painful to watch them behave unconsciously. We all encounter individuals of this bent in our families, at work, and in all areas of public life. It is easy to find ourselves feeling intolerant of these people, wishing we could be free of them even though we know that separation from them is an illusion. It helps sometimes to think of us all as different parts of one psyche. Just as within our own hearts and minds we have dark places that need healing, the heart and mind of the world has its dark places. The health of the whole organism depends upon the relative health of the individuals within it. We increase harmony when we hold onto the light, not allowing it to be darkened by judgment, anger, and fear about those who behave unconsciously. It’s easier to accomplish this if we don’t focus on the negative qualities of individuals and instead focus on how increasing our own light will increase the light of the overall picture. When dealing with people who seem very unconscious, it helps to remember that every one must find their own way to awakening and that the experiences they are having are an essential part of their process. Holding them in the light of our own energy may be the best way to awaken theirs. At the same time, we are inspired by their example to look within and shed light on our own unconscious places, sacrificing the urge to judge and surrendering instead to humble self-inquiry. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day Little by little, I'm getting over my tendency to procrastinate. I always used to put things off till tomorrow and, of course, they never got done. Instead of, "Do it now," my motto was, "Tomorrow's another day." When I was loaded, I had grandiose plans; when I came down, I was too busy getting "well" to start anything. I've learned in The Program that it's far better to make a mistake once in a while than to never do anything at all. Am I learning to do it now? Today I Pray May God help me cure my habitual tardiness and "get me to the church on time." May I free myself of the self-imposed chaos of life-long procrastination; library books overdue, appointments half-missed, assignments turned in late, schedules unmet, meals half-cooked. May I be sure if I, as an addict, led a disordered life, I, as a recovering addict, need order. May God give me the serenity to restore order and organization to my daily living. Today I Will Remember I will not be put off by my tendency to put off. ************************************************** One More Day Quote: The sky is not less blue because the blind man does not see it. – Danish Proverb Each day we make our choices anew. We can choose to believe that pain and disappointment are the bitter fruits of living, or we can trust in our ability to build harmony, enthusiasm, and gratefulness from our day’s experiences. We can hear the music of children’s voices at play or be irritated at the disruption. We can pray, or we can chew on our anger. We choose how we will see the world. If we feel anger or despair, if we hear only noise, if we see only dark, threatening clouds — that is our reality. But our negative choices don’t change the world. Birds’ songs and childrens’s voices still fill the air. People still reach out to each other through love and caring. And the bright splash of sky is as blue as ever. Today, my reality will be based on the positive things around me. ************************************************** In God’s Care Our contempt says we matter if we can look down on another person or life itself. ~~Ellen Reiss Putting someone down might have been the only way many of us could feel important. We went along telling ourselves how bad things were and how superior we were to everyone else – our family, teachers, friends, or people of different color or culture. We had a crick in our neck from looking down on others. But our spiritual self knows that contempt is wrong and can see what a destructive attitude it is. We are all the same in the eyes of God, all loved equally. When we put others down, we bring ourselves down too. At the same time, we are short-circuiting the connection with our Higher Power. Today I will try to raise, rather than lower, someone’s self-esteem. ************************************************** ************ Day By Day Dropping biases Addiction is not biased, nor should we be biased in the program. Whatever our beliefs before we found this solution, it helps if we avoid letting them interfere with our Step Twelve work. There are few enough places where people are accepted regardless of status, religion, nationality, or appearance. Each of us needs everyone else in the fellowship. Whether laborer or judge, white or black, addict or alcoholic, if she or he can carry the message of recovery, he or she can save your life. Am I letting go of all bias? Higher Power, help me let go of my biases so that I can better help save lives. Today I will take an inventory of my biases and practice letting them go by… ************************************************** ************** Food for Thought You Can Do It If you really want what OA has to offer; there is nothing that can stop you from succeeding with the program. The program works if we work it. OA does not pass out recovery on a platter, but the tools for recovery are available and proven effective if we are willing to use them. Go to a meeting today. Re-read your literature. Call another member. Call several members. Get a sponsor, if you do not already have one. Write out what is troubling you. Find a way to be of service to someone else. Abstain now. Most important, take time to listen to your Higher Power. Ask for the spiritual insight, which you need. Remember that you are now committed to following God’s will for your life, not your own way. Seek the inspiration that comes from the people and the books, which lift up your spirit and show you the way. Then follow. Lead me, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time EFFICIENCY AND FUNCTION “In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is.” Bill W., Letter of 1942 I have spent a lot of time cultivating perfectionism in the vain attempt to make up for being a "failure" -- or what I have now come to understand is compulsive eating and an illness. I was trying to make up with efficiency for that feeling of not being good enough ~ and that feeling seems to be a hallmark of our illness. By my past behaviors, I wanted you to notice how efficient and functional I was despite my obese body that belied I had a problem. If I could somehow convince you that I was "normal" and "ok," I would not have to admit my powerlessness. This is the single greatest obsession of every compulsive eater: that we are "normal" eaters. But we are not! I built a lifetime around efficiency and function trying to show you how normal I was. Thank God I was brought to my compulsive eating knees time and time again until I could finally make that admission of failure as a normal eater and admit that I was powerless. The humility brought about by that admission afforded me an open-mindedness and willingness I had hitherto not known. I became teachable. One day at a time... I pray to remain teachable. ~ Lanaya ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. - Pg. 48 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote If you have one hand in the program and one hand in your Higher Power's, you won't have a hand to pick up with. Take my hand God, as I understand You, and never let me let go. Leaving Abuse Behind Today, I see my life as my life. If I do not take care of it, make plans and dream dreams, who will? I am not second in my own heart - there has to be a place on this Earth where I come first, so that the little child inside me feels loved and held. I will come first with me. In the same way that I will protect my children from harm, I will protect myself. Chaos is a part of a dysfunctional family system. I hardly saw it as unusual - it was just what was, a painful way of life - the only one I knew. I do not need to recreate problem situations in my life today in order to feel stable or as if I have a home. I can live a calm and pleasant life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote I People often protest when they don't get their prayers answered as if the Divine Source is not listening. What they fail to understand is that prayer is not intended to change the situation you are praying about; it is intended to change you. Life is fragile; I 'Handle with Prayer.' "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book An old-timer makes his time count; he doesn't count his time. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am learning to be gentle with myself. Today I can look in the mirror and smile and know that I am okay just as I am. I am treating myself softly today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Drinking 'Near Beer' is like going to a house of prostitution to listen to the piano player. - Steve B. |
June 28
Daily Reflections THE DETERMINATION OF OUR FOUNDERS A year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 159 If it had not been for the fierce determination of our founders, A.A. would have quickly faded like so many other so-called good causes. I look at the hundreds of meetings weekly in the city where I live and I know A.A. is available twenty-four hours a day. If I had had to hang on with nothing but hope and a desire not to drink, experiencing rejection wherever I went, I would have sought the easier, softer way and returned to my previous way of life. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day You can prove to yourself that life is basically and fundamentally an inner attitude. Just try to remember what troubled you most a week ago. You probably will find it difficult to remember. Why then should you unduly worry or fret over the problems that arise today? Your attitude toward them can be changed by putting yourself and your problems in God's hands and trusting Him to see that everything will turn out all right, provided you are trying to do the right thing. Your changed mental attitude toward your problems relieves you of their burden and you can face them without fear. Has my mental attitude changed? Meditation For The Day You cannot see the future. It's a blessing that you cannot. You could not bear to know all the future. That is why God only reveals it to you day by day. The first step is to lay your will before God as an offering, ready for God to do what is best for you. Be sure that, if you trust God, what He does for you will be for the best. The second step is to be confident that God is powerful enough to do anything He wills, and that no miracle in human lives is impossible with Him. Then leave the future to God. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may gladly leave my future in God's hands. I pray that I may be confident that good things will happen, as long as I am on the right path. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Coping With Anger, p. 179 Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These "dry benders' often led straight to the bottle. << << << >> >> >> Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism, furious power-driven argument, sulking, and silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic. 12 & 12 1. p. 90 2. p. 91 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Why it works. Confidence. Twelve Step meetings often begin with a reading from a famous Fifth chapter, "How it works." We know that the program does work, but why? Is there a secret or magic to it? The real reason the program works is neither secret nor magic. The program actually relies on ancient principles that always amaze people when they are employed: Help Others, and you help yourself. Clean up your own house. Put your trust in God, not frail human beings or shaky institutions. Remove false gods, such as alcohol and other drugs. There may be additional reasons for the program's success, but these are enough for a start. The Twelve Step program does work. I'll take comfort today in knowing that I'm walking in a way that has been tested and proven. The program works if I let it work. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. --Stanley J. Randall Trying to be perfect get us into trouble. Trying to be perfect means we're trying to control things. We may be trying to cover up something. Maybe we aren't facing our pain. Maybe we've hurt someone and we need to make amends. We need to practice being human. Humans aren't perfect. In Steps Six and Seven, we face our human limits and our shortcomings. We then start the lifelong job of letting them go. To accept our human limits leads us to our Higher Power. We see how we need a guide in life. Our Higher Power makes a perfect guide. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me accept that I can't be perfect. Help me be a good human being. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list my shortcoming. I'll talk with a friend about them. I'll ask my friend to tell me what my good qualities are. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Joy fixes us to eternity and pain fixes us to time. But desire and fear hold us in bondage to time, and detachment breaks the bond. --Simone Weil We live both in the material realm and the spiritual. In our material dimension we seek material pleasures, inherent in which is pain. Our human emotions are tied to our material attachments, and joy, at its fullest, is never found here. Real joy lies outside of the material dimension while living fully within us too, in the secret, small place inside where we always know that all is well. We are on a trip in this life. And our journey is bringing us closer to full understanding of joy with every sorrowful circumstance. When you or I are one with God, have aligned our will with the will of God, we know joy. We know this, fully, that all is well. No harm can befall us. Each circumstance in the material realm is an opportunity for us to rely on the spiritual realm for direction, security, and understanding. As we turn within, to our spiritual nature, we will know joy. Every day in every situation I have an opportunity to discover real joy. It's so close and so ready for my invitation. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS We were usually as definite as this example: I'm resentful at: Mr. Brown The Cause: His attention to my wife. Affects my: Sex relations. Self-esteem (fear) The Cause: Told my wife of my mistress. Affects my: Sex Relations. Self-esteem (fear) The Cause: Brown may get my job at the office. Affects my: Security. Self-esteem (fear) I'm resentful at: Mrs. Jones The Cause: She's a nut---she snubbed me. She commited her husband for drinking. He's my friend. She's a gossip. Affects my: Personal relationship. Self-esteem (fear) I'm resentful at: My emplorer The Cause: Unreasonable---Unjust---Overbearing---Threatens to fire me for drinking and padding my expense account. Affects my: Self-esteem (fear) Security. I'm resentful at: My wife The Cause: Misunderstands and nags. Likes Brown. Wants house put in her name. Affects my: Pride---Personal sex relations---Security (fear) p. 65 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ACCEPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER - The physician wasn't hooked, he thought--he just prescribed drugs medically indicated for his many ailments. Acceptance was his key to liberation. My major problems were marital. "If you had my wife, you'd drink too." Max and I had been married for twenty-eight years when I ended up in A.A. It started out as a good marriage, but it deteriorated over the years as she progressed through various stages of qualifying for Al-Anon. At first, she would say, "You don't love me. Why don't you admit it?" Later, she would say, "You don't like me. Why don't you admit it?" And as her disease was reaching its terminal stages, she was screaming, "You hate me! You hate me! Why don't you admit you hate me?" So I admitted it. p. 407 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Six - "An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose." The minute we saw this compromising fact for what it was, we asked the prospective publicity director how he felt about it. "Great guns!" he said. "Of course I can't take the job. The ink wouldn't be dry on the first ad before an awful shriek would go up from the dry camp. They'd be out with lanterns looking for an honest A.A. to plump for their brand of education. A.A. would land exactly in the middle of the wet-dry controversy. Half the people in this country would think we'd signed up with the drys, the other half would think we'd joined the wets. What a mess!" "Nevertheless, " we pointed out, "you still have a legal right to take this job." "I know that," he said. "But this is no time for legalities. Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life, and it comes first. I certainly won't be the guy to land A.A. in big-time trouble, and this would really do it!" Concerning endorsements, our friend had said it all. We saw as never before that we could not lend the A.A. name to any cause other than our own. pp. 158-159 ************************************************** ********* I can get more out of God by believing Him for one minute than by shouting at Him all night. --Smith Wigglesworth I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go. --Abraham Lincoln LORD, Let me want what I have. --Anonymous "A positive attitude is like a fire - Unless you continue to add fuel, it goes out." --Alexander Lockhart What we see depends mainly on what we look for. --John Lubbock All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. --Ralph Waldo Emerson When life seems just a dreary grind; and things seem fated to annoy; say something nice to someone else and watch the world light up with joy. --Unknown Appreciative words are the most powerful force for good on earth! --George W. Crane *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation WINE "One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts." --Samuel Johnson Alcohol produced problems in my life. I was unable to control my drinking and the result was catastrophe. I hurt people. I endangered my health. I ruin my productivity. I became lonely. I felt isolated. I was forever getting into arguments. The police were often involved. People who loved me had to walk away from me for their own sanity. Alcohol made my life a mess! Today I can see this and I am glad I made the spiritual decision to refuse the first drink. Today I am getting my life together. I am becoming a productive citizen. I have friends and relationships again. But I need to remember what I must never forget: Alcohol + Me = Problems. Lord, alcohol is a gift I can refuse. ************************************************** ********* "I assure you, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life." John 5:24 Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. Psalm 91:14-15 "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:11 And your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left. Isaiah 30:21 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Be easier on yourself and more forgiving so that you can begin to recognize the depth of the wisdom you already possess. Lord, help me look beyond my shortcomings so that I am better able to get through my difficult moments and am able to spend more time enjoying who I am. One of life's greatest rewards is not what we get, but what we become. Lord, teach me as I am able to learn and give me the courage to be all that I can. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Group Conscience "Working with others is only the beginning of service work." Basic Text, p.56 Service work calls for a selfless devotion to carrying the message to the still-suffering addict. But our attitude of service cannot stop there. Service also requires that we look at ourselves and our motives. Our efforts at service make us highly visible to the fellowship. In NA, it is easy to become a "big fish in a small pond." Our controlling attitude can easily drive away the newcomer. Group conscience is one of the most important principles in service. It is vital to remember that the group conscience is what counts, not just our individual beliefs and desires. We lend our thoughts and beliefs to the development of a group conscience. Then when that conscience arises, we accept its guidance. The key is working with others, not against them. If we remember that we strive together to develop a collective conscience, we will see that all sides have equal merit. When all the discussions are over, all sides will come back to carry a unified message. It is often tempting to think that we know what is best for the group. If we remember that it doesn't matter if we get our way, then it is easier to allow service to be the vehicle it is intended to be - a way to carry the message to the addict who still suffers. Just for today: I will take part in the development of group conscience. I will remember that the world won't end just because I don't get my way. I will think about our p[primary purpose in all my service efforts. I will reach out to a newcomer. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. It's the deepest channel that runs most true. --Kate Wolf The greatest rivers spread themselves out wide and lazy over the earth. They roll over on themselves like great turtles turning in the warm sun. A river flows, drawn to the oceans, carving ever-deepening channels, nestling snug in the earth's welcoming lap. The current is strongest in the deepest channel. Boat navigators know that finding that channel means finding the swiftest current and the safest voyage home. When we look at a river, or at another person, we see only the surface. What keeps our attention is usually some movement or activity on the surface. But there is more than meets the eye, especially to people. When we overlook someone because that person is quiet or simple, we may be robbing ourselves of an eye-opening discovery. Which deeper things can I look for in my day? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We fear our highest possibility (as well as our lowest one). We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments. --Abraham Maslow In our daily lives, we may dream of success and achievement. We strive and compete in the workplace. We go to meetings and do our part on each Step in the program searching for better lives. When success comes, we are faced with a new problem we could not have expected. It comes as an outcome of some hard work, some good luck, and some help from our friends. It is frightening to have a good thing in our lives and not be in control of it. We are just as powerless over our successes as we are over the worst of our behaviors. We can only be faithful to our duties and ourselves. The successes, which flow from our work come and go. Since we can't nail them down, they may make us feel insecure. Many a man has destroyed his moment of success because he couldn't stand the powerless feeling. We must return to our program and allow success to rise and fall, as it will. Today, I turn to my Higher Power for help in accepting success. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Joy fixes us to eternity and pain fixes us to time. But desire and fear hold us in bondage to time, and detachment breaks the bond. --Simone Weil We live both in the material realm and the spiritual. In our material dimension we seek material pleasures, inherent in which is pain. Our human emotions are tied to our material attachments, and joy, at its fullest, is never found here. Real joy lies outside of the material dimension while living fully within us too, in the secret, small place inside where we always know that all is well. We are on a trip in this life. And our journey is bringing us closer to full understanding of joy with every sorrowful circumstance. When you or I are one with God, have aligned our will with the will of God, we know joy. We know this, fully, that all is well. No harm can befall us. Each circumstance in the material realm is an opportunity for us to rely on the spiritual realm for direction, security, and understanding. As we turn within, to our spiritual nature, we will know joy. Every day in every situation I have an opportunity to discover real joy. It's so close and so ready for my invitation. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. When Things Don't Work Frequently, when faced with a problem, we may attempt to solve it in a particular way. When that way doesn't work, we may continue trying to solve the problem in that same way. We may get frustrated, try harder, get more frustrated, and then exert more energy and influence into forcing the same solution that we have already tried and that didn't work. That approach makes us crazy. It tends to get us stuck and trapped. It is the stuff that unmanageability is made of. We can get caught in this same difficult pattern in relationships, in tasks, in any area of our life. We initiate something, it doesn't work, doesn't flow, we feel badly, then try the same approach harder, even though it's not working and flowing. Sometimes, it's appropriate not to give up and to try harder. Sometimes, it's more appropriate to let go, detach, and stop trying so hard. If it doesn't work, if it doesn't flow, maybe life is trying to tell us something. Life is a gentle teacher. She doesn't always send neon road signs to guide us. Sometimes, the signs are more subtle. Something not working may be a sign! Let go. If we have become frustrated by repeated efforts that aren't producing desired results, we may be trying to force ourselves down the wrong path. Sometimes, a different solution is appropriate. Sometimes, a different path opens up. Often, the answer will emerge more clearly in the quietness of letting go than it will in the urgency, frustration, and desperation of pushing harder. Learn to recognize when something isn't working or isn't flowing. Step back and wait for clear guidance. Today, I will not make myself crazy by repeatedly trying solutions that have proven themselves unsuccessful. If something isn't working, I will step back and wait for guidance. My quiet sitting meditation time helps me to develop new quiet times during the rest of the day. Today I can look at any problem I have and release its energy so that I can be free to allow harmony to unfold. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey to the Heart Feel Your Feelings You don't have to do anything about your feelings. Understand that. Believe that. They are only feelings. Emotional energy is important. It's important not to block it, stop it, deny it, or repress it. It's important to discharge it. To value it. To value ourselves. But you don't have to do anything. You don't have to act on every feeling. You don't need to control every emotion or let your emotions control you. Doing something is the old way, the way of control. Simply feel whatever you need to feel. Become fully and completely conscious of what you feel. Take responsibility for the way you choose to express your feelings. Then let your feelings go. Release the emotional energy. Soon you will know what to do next, know what lesson is under way. You will naturally take the action that's right for you to take. All you have to do about your feelings is feel them. ************************************************** more language of letting go Relax now "Only two more weeks until vacation," we say. "Two more weeks until I can relax." Then we return to our stressful lives of running here, hurrying there, and scrambling to get this or that done. Why wait? Why not relax today? Part of living fully in the moment is taking a break when you need it. If you are tired, take a nap. Plan an afternoon away from work. Go to the park on a Saturday morning by yourself. Take a bubble bath; order dinner out; take the kids to the zoo. So often we feel that we are running, running, just trying to keep up with the rest of the world. It's an illusion. Much of the time we're running in place. Stop. The only one keeping you on the treadmill is you. Yes, we all have responsibilities. But taking time to take care of ourselves is one of our responsibilities,too. God, grant me the peace and grace to listen to my own needs. ************************************************** Healthful Slumber The Importance of Sleep by Madisyn Taylor Regular periods of sleep are key to a healthy body and a clear mind as it is during sleep that your body renews itself. When life gets busy, sleep is often the first activity that we sacrifice. Considered a luxury by many busy people, sleep is actually as vital to sustaining a balanced life as are breathing, eating, and drinking. Getting sufficient sleep can be a potent energizer, just as not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling drained and sluggish. While eight hours is the average amount of sleep most adults should generally aim for, the right amount of sleep varies for each person. Some people may thrive on just four hours, while others don’t feel well rested unless they’ve slept for ten hours. How much we sleep also varies, depending upon where we are in life. Young people often need more sleep, while older people may need less. The benefits of sleep always stay the same. Regular and consistent periods of wakefulness and sleep are key ingredients to fostering a healthy body and a clear mind. It is during sleep that your body renews itself. The ability to forgo sleep is considered by some to be an asset. But while it may seem that the nighttime hours can be better used for more productive activities, sleep in itself is extremely productive. During sleep, your body and psyche are both regaining their strength for the coming day. You may even have the unique opportunity to explore the hidden recesses of your personality while you dream. Meanwhile, your long-term memories are reinforced. Many cultures engage in an afternoon siesta. Taking a nap is refreshing and can increase both productivity and creativity. Author Lewis Carroll is said to have conceived his idea for Alice in Wonderland while dreaming. A good night’s sleep also has been known to bring with it the gifts of clarity, wisdom, and a fresh perspective. Even the ancient Greeks thought of sleep as a gift from the gods. Give yourself the gift of peaceful slumber and you will likely find yourself feeling alert, refreshed, and ready for life’s challenges. You may also find yourself feeling more centered, thoughtful, and aware throughout the day so you can live your full potential. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day Almost daily, I hear of seemingly mysterious coincidences in the lives of my friends in The Program. From time to time, I've experienced such "coincidences" myself: showing up at the right place at exactly the right time; phoning a friend who, unbeknownst to me, desperately needed that particular phone call at that precise moment; hearing "my story" at an unfamiliar meeting in a strange town. These days, I choose to believe that many of life's so-called "coincidences" are actually small miracles of God, who prefers to remain anonymous. Am I continuingly grateful for the miracle of my recovery? Today I Pray May my awareness of a Higher Power working in our lives grow in sensitivity as I learn, each day, of "coincidences" that defy statistics, illnesses that reverse their prognoses, hair-breadth escapes that defy death, chance meetings that change the course of a life. When the un-understandable happens, may I perceive it as just another of God's frequent miracles. My own death-defying miracle is witness enough for me. Today I Will Remember My life is a miracle. ************************************************** ************** One More Day Believe and remember this: every saint and every sinner affects those whom he will never see, because his words and deeds stamp themselves upon the soft clay of human nature everywhere. – Joshua Loth Liebman In a world of billions of people, it’s easy to feel insignificant. As a result, we might excuse ourselves for not acting upon our sense of rightness. After all, we might reason, what difference does it make? At those times, we’ve forgotten about the ripple effect. Occasionally we’ve even seen our words and actions rippling from one person to another, but more often we see nothing at all. Then we must choose — whether to bitterly reject the idea of making a difference or to trust that someone, somewhere, is being comforted by a ripple of the wave we dared to make. My presence is felt by people I know — and by people I’ll never know. ************************************************** In God’s Care Each handicap is like a hurdle in a steeple chase, and when you ride up to it, if you throw your heart over, the horse will go along, too. ~~Lawrence Bixby Too often we let our fears prevent us from taking advantage of the opportunities God is sending our way. Part of our recovery is developing the trust that our experiences – both the painful and the joyful ones – are part of God’s design for our growth. The paradox is that trust can come only when we plunge headlong into the opportunity that’s beckoning, in spite of our fear and mistrust. This is the continual leap of faith we must make if we are to discover the full measure of joy that is meant for each of us. Trusting others may seem difficult because of hurtful experiences in our past. But as we come to see the people who’ve hurt us as fallible, we can better accept our own handicaps and learn from them. Forgiving ourselves and others frees us to eventually trust God in every step we take, no matter how faltering. Today I will use each obstacle as a reminder to trust God. My fallibility will teach me both courage and humility. ************************************************** **************** Day By Day Practicing To recover, we must change; it doesn’t happen by itself. Change requires practice. If we get lazy about our recovery, if we get smug or self-satisfied, we may stop practicing. If so, we may lose what we have gained, risk a slip, or even relapse. In recovery, practice is all-important. Staying clean and sober takes practice. For starters, we must practice carrying the message to others who still suffer. Higher Power, help me practice the program so that I can keep growing and recovering. Today I will work on… ************************************************** ************** Food for Thought Spiritual Awakening Many of us remember back to a vague time in childhood when our world seemed right and we were full of enthusiasm. Somehow, somewhere along the way, we lost that feeling of rightness and security. For some of us who experience a spiritual awakening through the OA program, childhood faith is rediscovered and takes on new meaning. We may have lost sight of our real selves and abandoned our original faith in a Higher Power. When we have a spiritual awakening as a result of the Twelve Steps, everything falls into place, and what was lost is recovered, plus much more. This spiritual awakening continues as we continue to work the program. It gives new meaning to our present lives and new hope for the future. We see that spiritual growth is “where it’s at” and that nothing else will satisfy our needs and our longing. May I continue to awaken. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ISOLATION ”Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.” Joseph Roux As an introvert and an agoraphobic I relate to both sides of this quote. From an introverted point of view, I need solitude to regroup, renew, and refresh. It's part of my process in life to have quiet time alone in order to "get it together". When I'm alone and I read my OA literature and meditate on what I'm reading and learning, I'm able to gain new insight and a renewed sense of direction in my program. From an agoraphobic point of view, isolation kills my ability to stick to my program. When my social anxiety cycles and it becomes difficult to get to meetings or make phone calls, I hide from the world ~ and from my friends and other OA members who can help me maintain my abstinence. Solitude and Isolation are both active decisions. Both require some forethought. If solitude is what I need to in order to regroup, I have to make time for it. I have to take a walk, read a book, putter around my house. On the flip side, if I'm having a hard time with Program and my social anxiety is becoming unmanageable, I can either isolate and spiral down, or I can choose to take action and get to a meeting, make a phone call, or ask my sponsor to meet me for coffee. I don't have to be alone in this program. One day at a time... I remember that I have control over my actions. Although I need solitude to heal, I don't have to be alone in my disease. ~ Deb B. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. - Pg. 37 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We merge in bonds of fellowship powerful enough to withstand the calls of our addiction. Our addiction is strong but not as strong as our new bonds of fellowship strengthened daily by the God of our understanding. May my bonds of fellowship grow stronger with each hour of recovery by practicing these principles. Being in the Moment Today, I see that the only real point of power is in the present, which is to say that life cannot be lived backward or forward, but only in the context of today. If I truly let myself have this moment and all that it contains, I will be in quiet possession of great eternal wealth. All that is, is in this moment where all the waters meet and all the wisdom of the ages lies; it is the now that calls me to it with open arms. I work out my past, not because it is right or good or proper, but because it allows me to be in fuller possession of my present. By releasing and returning to me those parts of me that remain prisoner in my own psychic and emotional jail, I can have access to the now. I allow myself this moment. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote As you work to solve different dilemmas that arise in your life, don't stay so focused on your troubles that you miss discovering the solutions. Give your attention to your Spiritual Source in prayer, meditation, or service to others. By taking your focus off the situation, soulutions have a way of finding you. Through conscious contact, I allow soulutions to find me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Suicide is such a long term decision. While living has so many more variables. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My quiet sitting meditation time helps me to develop new quiet times during the rest of the day. Today I can look at any problem I have and release its energy so that I can be free to allow harmony to unfold. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I don't have a drinking problem, except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits. 'Bad Liver and a Broken Heart.' |
June 29
Daily Reflections A RIPPLING EFFECT Having learned to live so happily, we'd show everyone else how. . .Yes, we of A.A. did dream those dreams. How natural that was, since most alcoholics are bankrupt idealists. . .So why shouldn't we share our way of life with everyone? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 156 The great discovery of sobriety led me to feel the need to spread the "good news" to the world around me. The grandiose thoughts of my drinking days returned. Later, I learned that concentrating on my own recovery was a full-time process. As I became a sober citizen in this world, I observed a rippling effect which, without any conscious effort on my part, reached any "related facility or outside enterprise," without diverting me from my primary purpose of staying sober and helping other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The program of Alcoholics Anonymous involves a continuous striving for improvement. There can be no long resting period. We must try to work at it all the time. We must continually keep in mind that it is a program not to be measured in years, because we never fully reach our goals nor are we ever cured. Our alcoholism is only kept in abeyance by daily living of the program. It is a timeless program in every sense. We live it day by day, or more precisely, moment by moment - now. Am I always striving for improvement? Meditation For The Day Life is all a preparation for something better to come. God has a plan for your life and it will work out, if you try to do His will. God has things planned for you, far beyond what you can imagine now. But you must prepare yourself so that you will be ready for the better things to come. Now is the time for discipline and prayer. The time of expression will come later. Life can be flooded through and through with joy and gladness. So prepare yourself for those better things to come. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may prepare myself for better things that God has in store for me. I pray that I may trust God for the future. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Community Problem, p. 180 The answer to the problem of alcoholism seems to be in education--education in schoolrooms, in medical colleges, among clergymen and employers, in families, and in the public at large. From cradle to grave, the drunk and the potential alcoholic will have to be completely surrounded by a true and deep understanding and by a continuous barrage of information. This means factual education, properly presented. Heretofore, much of this education has attacked the immortality of drinking rather than the illness of alcoholism. Now who is going to do all this education? Obviously, it is both a community job and a job for specialists. Individually, we A.A.'s can help, but A.A. as such cannot, and should not, get directly into this field. Therefore, we must rely on other agencies, on outside friends and their willingness to supply great amounts of money and effort. Grapevine, March 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Willingness is the Key Strong Desire Although willpower alone does not work in overcoming alcoholism, there is a place for the will, or willingness, in the search for a happy sobriety. Things can happen if we are willing to let them happen. More important, progress often depends on our willingness to give up what stands in our way. It also requires our willingness to take the actions necessary for success. This same willingness, so vital to finding sobriety, is also applicable in other areas of our lives. The pioneers of AA suggested that getting sober required being willing to go to any lengths. This is the key to other achievements and to the overcoming of problems besides alcohol. We often have to put up with unpleasant conditions simply because we do not want to change them badly enough. For example, we may dislike the unpleasant coughing and risks of smoking, but lack the willingness to quit. We may brood over lost opportunities, but be unwilling to take advantage of the opportunities we have now. The key to constructive change in our lives is willingness...... and that applies to other matters as well as to alcohol...............I'll try to be honest today about what I really want. I will remind myself that if I want something badly enough, willingness is the key to action and to success. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I don't believe in the life afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.---Woody Allen Most of us have many questions about a Higher Power. Sometimes we have more questions than answers. No matter how much we believe about God, there are always questions. Why do bad things happen if God is good? Does God punish people? Is God called Jesus, Buddha, the Great Spirit? Perhaps we've chosen a name for our Higher Power, or maybe we haven’t. Yet, we know there is some Power great than ourselves that's helping us in recovery. We know what we need to know about God for today. We know how to ask for help, and how to accept help. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to know You more clearly. There's much I'm not sure about. For now, I will act as if the help I get comes from You. Action for the Day: I'll think of three ways my Higher Power has done just the right thing for me. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I am convinced, the longer I live, that life and its blessings are not so entirely unjustly distributed (as) when we are suffering greatly we are so inclined to suppose. --Mary Todd Lincoln Self-pity is a parasite that feeds on itself. Many of us are inclined toward self-pity, not allowing for the balance of life's natural tragedies. We will face good and bad times--and they will pass. With certainty they will pass. The attitude, "Why me?" hints at the little compassion we generally feel for others' suffering. Our empathy with others, even our awareness of their suffering, is generally minimal. We are much too involved in our own. Were we less self-centered, we'd see that blessings and tragedies visit us all, in equal amounts. Some people respond to their blessings with equanimity, and they quietly remove the sting from their tragedies. We can learn to do both. Recovery is learning new responses, feeling and behaving in healthier ways. Self-pity need not catch us. We can always feel it coming on. And we can let it go. Self-pity may beckon, today. Fortunately, I have learned I have other choices. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully. The first thing apparent was that this world and its people were often quite wrong. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. The usual outcome was that people continued to wrong us and we stayed sore. Sometimes it was remorse and then we were sore at ourselves. But the more we fought and tried to have our own way, the worse matters got. As in war, the victor only Seemed to win. Our moments of triumph were short-lived. pp. 65-66 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ACCEPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER - The physician wasn't hooked, he thought--he just prescribed drugs medically indicated for his many ailments. Acceptance was his key to liberation. I remember very well saying, "There's only one person in the world whose guts I hate worse than yours, and those are my own." She cried a bit and went to bed; that was the only answer to problems that she had left. I cried a bit and then fixed myself another drink. (Today, we don't have to live like that any more.) p. 408 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Seven - "Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. " SELF-SUPPORTING alcoholics? Who ever heard of such a thing? Yet we find that's what we have to be. This principle is telling evidence of the profound change that A.A. has wrought in all of us. Everybody knows that active alcoholics scream that they have no troubles money can't cure. Always, we've had our hands out. Time out of mind we've been dependent upon somebody, usually money-wise. When a society composed entirely of alcoholics says it's going to pay its bills, that's really news. p. 160 ************************************************** ********* A hug is a great gift. One size fits all, it can be given for any occasion and it's easy to exchange. --Anon "When you've got one foot in yesterday and the other in tomorrow, you can only piss on today." --unknown When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. --Helen Keller Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it. --unknown The butterfly often forgets it was a caterpillar. --Swedish Proverb Don't reckon your eggs before they are laid. --Italian Proverb *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation RISK "We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it." --Mark Twain I need to risk in life. I need to try again. I need to face life and not run from it. Early in my sobriety I was scared to try new things because I was afraid I might get hurt. I was afraid to express my feelings. I hid in the idea of simply "not drinking". Spirituality is about being willing to reach out into new areas, engage in new and different relationships, enjoy the richness of God's world. As I grow in sobriety I develop the capacity to react differently to painful situations and overcome them. I learn that mistakes can make for new conquests. That lasting joys and achievements are born in the risk. Teach me to overcome yesterday's sorrows with today's optimism. ************************************************** ********* And the LORD restored Job's losses when he prayed for his friends. Indeed the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before. Job 42:10 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9 "For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live." Romans 8:13 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Spend less time trying to understand the behaviors of others and more time on the reasons you do things. Lord, help me to know myself better because then it will become possible to change the habits I don't like and improve on the ones I do. Many of God's gifts are in the form of opportunities that we must recognize and then act upon. Lord, I will never say that You don't answer my prayers, but I will pray that I will recognize Your answers. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Keeping Recovery Fresh "Complacency is the enemy of members with substantial clean time. If we remain complacent for long, the recovery process ceases." Basic Text, p.80 After the first couple of years in recovery, most of us start to feel like there are no more big deals. If we've been diligent in working the steps, the past is largely resolved and we have a solid foundation on which to build our future. We've learned to take life pretty much as it comes. Familiarity with the steps allows us to resolve problems almost as quickly as they arise. Once we discover this level of comfort, we may tend to treat it as a "rest stop" on the recovery path. Doing so, however, discounts the nature of our disease. Addiction is patient, subtle, progressive, and incurable. It's also fatal-we can die from this disease, unless we continue to treat it. And the treatment for addiction is a vital, ongoing program of recovery. The Twelve Steps are a process, a path we take to stay a step ahead of our disease. Meetings, sponsorship, service, and the steps always remain essential to ongoing recovery. Though we may practice our program somewhat differently with five years clean than with five months, this doesn't mean the program has changed or become less important, only that our practical understanding has changed and grown. To keep our recovery fresh and vital, we need to stay alert for opportunities to practice our program. Just for today: As I keep growing in my recovery, I will search for new ways to practice my program. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Let us open our natures, throw wide the doors of our hearts and let in the sunshine of good will and kindness. --O. S. Marden Kindness is among the gifts we can most easily spread among others. The more we give of kind words and deeds, the more we discover that kindness is like a burning candle which lights many other candles without losing a trace of its own brightness. Our kindnesses are assets, which return unexpected dividends when we invest them in the happiness of others. Kindness is the very basis of love. It softens the most severe anger and gladdens the hardest hearts. No kindness is too small to win and hold the affection of others because it is made up of gentleness, love, generosity, unselfishness, and caring. What kindness do I have to offer today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A good indignation brings out all one's powers. --Ralph Waldo Emerson Anger is a human emotion that gets us in touch with our energy and our vitality. But like any good thing, it can also be used in hurtful ways. When we examine the role anger has played in our lives, some of us can see where we used it to intimidate and dominate others. Maybe we can recall being terrified by someone else's anger or even by our own. Some of us denied our anger and covered it with excessive helpfulness. Examining the place anger has had in our lives Is one of the doorways we must pass through to regain our full masculine spirit. We learn to set aside the anger we used to cover fear or hurt. We express it respectfully and honestly when we feel it in a relationship. Expressing anger does not have to be abusive or rejecting. It can mean we care enough to be fully involved and we will not leave after we express it. We can learn to hear others in their anger rather than K attempt to control or evade their message. In the process we are invigorated and feel healthier because we are claiming a larger part of ourselves. Today, I will first be honest with myself about angry feelings. Then I will find respectful ways to express them. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I am convinced, the longer I live, that life and its blessings are not so entirely unjustly distributed (as) when we are suffering greatly we are so inclined to suppose. --Mary Todd Lincoln Self-pity is a parasite that feeds on itself. Many of us are inclined toward self-pity, not allowing for the balance of life's natural tragedies. We will face good and bad times--and they will pass. With certainty they will pass. The attitude, "Why me?" hints at the little compassion we generally feel for others' suffering. Our empathy with others, even our awareness of their suffering, is generally minimal. We are much too involved in our own. Were we less self-centered, we'd see that blessings and tragedies visit us all, in equal amounts. Some people respond to their blessings with equanimity, and they quietly remove the sting from their tragedies. We can learn to do both. Recovery is learning new responses, feeling and behaving in healthier ways. Self-pity need not catch us. We can always feel it coming on. And we can let it go. Self-pity may beckon, today. Fortunately, I have learned I have other choices. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. God's Will God's will most often happens in spite of us, not because of us. We may try to second guess what God has in mind for us, looking, searching, hyper vigilant to seek God's will as though it were buried treasure, hidden beyond our reach. If we find it, we win the prize. But if we're not careful, we miss out. That's not how it works. We may believe that we have to walk on eggshells, saying, thinking, and feeling the right thing, while forcing ourselves somehow to be in the right place at the right time to find God's will. But that's not true. God's will for us is not hidden like a buried treasure. We do not have to control or force it. We do not have to walk on eggshells in order to have it happen. It is right there inside and around us. It is happening, right now. Sometimes, it is quiet and uneventful and includes the daily disciplines of responsibility and learning to take care of ourselves. Sometimes, it is healing us when we're in circumstances that trigger old grieving and unfinished business. Sometimes, it is grand. We do have a part. We have responsibilities, including caring for ourselves. But we do not have to control God's will for us. We are being taken care of. We are protected. And the Power caring for and protecting us loves us very much. If it is a quiet day, trust the stillness. If it is a day of action, trust the activity. If it is time to wait, trust the pause. If it is time to receive that which we have been waiting for, trust that it will happen clearly and with power, and receive the gift in joy. Today, I will trust that God's will is happening, as it needs to in my life. I will not make myself anxious and upset by searching vigorously for God's will, taking unnecessary actions to control the course of my destiny or wandering if God's will has passed me by and I have missed it. Today I am becoming more and more aware that I can choose how I feel in the moment. Today I choose to let go of thoughts that are negative and destructive. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Stay Clear Sometimes we don’t tell other people what we’re feeling. Sometimes we don’t tell ourselves. Often on this journey, provocative events happen. We may become resentful. Angry. Or frightened. Emotional energy builds up within. If we don’t take the time to work it out, the emotion becomes a block. It blocks the channel to ourselves, it can block our connections to others and to God. We may think we’re being polite and appropriate by not saying what we feel. We may think that most thoughts and emotions are so minor it would be a waste of time to acknowledge and express each and every one of them. It’s true that some aren’t worth mentioning, but many are. We need to take the time to feel and release the thoughts and beliefs that are important to us. Is a relationship blocked? Are we feeling something we’re unable to discuss? The feeling won’t disappear. The energy of the unexpressed feeling will be present, blocking our connection until we take the time to get it out. We may not tell the other person what we’re feeling, but all of us are wiser than we think. And our bodies and emotions will begin reacting to what’s denied, despite what we say. Many of us experiment with the technique of using affirmations to try to further our growth. The same principle applies. If we say we love ourselves, but we’ve got a chunk of self-reproach tucked down deep inside, we’ll continue to act as if we dislike ourselves until we clear the other energy out. What are you feeling? No, what are you really feeling? Ask yourself as often as you need to. Then take the time to feel and release the emotion, thought, or belief. You’ve connected to yourself. You’re connected to the world around you. Now, keep your connections clear. ************************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Meditate A mind too active is no mind at all. –Theodore Roethke It’s possible to learn to relax into the ordinary aspects in your life. Be aware of those normal moments; relax; allow your mind to be quiet. Allow your spirit to speak to you in those moments. Look at the family sitting at breakfast, the birds gathered around the feeder, the dew on the grass when you step outside to pick up the morning paper, the pattern of the shadows on the walk in the moonlight.Be aware of the beauty of the ordinary. Be aware of these soothing moments and make the most of them. When you learn to be aware and relax into the ordinary, it will be easier to relax in the stressful moments when you need clarity and focus. The practice of meditation is a practice of mindfulness. It is a practice of becoming aware of and in tune with our bodies, our spirit, and the spirit of God. One of the goals of meditation is to reach a point when we can carry this mindfulness with us throughout the day. When we can still the noise of our chattering minds, we can see the path with heart that we are to follow. God, help me quiet my noisy, worrisome mind in my ordinary world. Help me to relax in the familiar and to be aware of and appreciate it. ************************************************** Moving Our Body Poetry in Motion by Madisyn Taylor Human bodies love flow and movement and respond in kind when used in this way. Our bodies love movement. When we stretch or dance, our bodies adjust, realign and start to become fluid with the rhythm of life. Our mood lifts and we feel more connected with the world around us. If you are feeling stuck, ready to release old energy, or eager to feel more alive, try moving your body. By giving your muscles a chance to do what they were created for, you may find that all areas of your body and your life benefit as well. Many times we can be so busy that we forget moving our body is even an option. Some of us remain seated at our computer for hours every day or rush from task to task with robotic precision. When we are caught up in crossing items off our to-do lists, we tend to neglect all the opportunities there are to enjoy our bodies in the process of living. If this is true for you, begin looking for opportunities to move. You might try dancing or moving about freely as you clean your home, tend your garden or care for your children. If you are able to devote a set amount of time to self-care, practices such as yoga, dance, tai chi and walking are all great ways to keep your body in motion. Imagine how freeing it would feel to trust your body’s movements completely, knowing it has a perfect strength and rhythm of its own. See if you can sense your bones providing graceful support, your muscles and tendons expanding and contracting in just the right measure, your lungs changing pace to fill deeply with fresh air. Movement is a vital celebration of life. It is a way to proclaim your own existence and relish in the joy of being alive. Today, and into the future, give yourself the gift of your body in motion. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** ************ In God’s Care The very best and utmost of attainment in this life is to remain still and let God act and speak in thee. ~~Meister Eckhart Many of us find it hard to meditate because our mind is going at a furious pace. It’s not easy to quiet our thoughts; we have so much to say. We are so occupied with this mental chatter that we can’t hear God. God cannot get through to us in all the noise. We have to learn to be still. This takes practice. We can’t just sit down and command silence; our mind is too accustomed to doing as it pleases. Our first step in meditation, therefore, is to be patient. Our mind will gradually quiet down as we wait, praying for silence, and putting ourselves in God’s presence. Focusing on that, we give God an opening. Guidance will follow. I will take time today to be still and hear God. ************************************************** *********** Day By Day Living the “today” approach We must understand from the very beginning that in the program, we learn to live one day at a time. We learn, for example, not to take that first fix, pill, or drink “today.” This is easier for us to do than to think of abstaining for years or a lifetime. But many of us miss the fact that the “today” approach can be applied to all areas of our life, not just abstinence. It helps if we can deal with issues such as love, sex, death, honesty, and resentments one day at a time. God expects no more of us than to do what we can do today. Am I living “today” today? God, help me live the “today” approach in all areas of my life. Today I will apply the “today” approach to… ************************************************** ************* Food for Thought The Joy of Abstaining For someone who has suffered the physical, emotional, and spiritual anguish of compulsive overeating, abstaining is not a restriction but a release. We are released from indigestion, lethargy, fat, and the torment of never-satisfied craving. If we dwell on the negative aspects of abstaining, such as the foods we are not eating, we will be unhappy. If we continue to concentrate on food, rather than on life and the spirit, we will find it difficult to abstain. The OA program gives us a new set of priorities and opens the door to new life if we are willing to leave our preoccupation with food outside and walk in. It is good to feel full of energy rather than full of food. It is satisfying to discover new ways to give. There is deep joy in day-by-day spiritual growth. All of these joys become ours through abstaining. We give thanks for the joy of abstaining. ************************************************** ************* A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Once we surrendered and came to The Program, many of us wondered what we could do with all the time on our hands. All the hours we’d previously spent planning, hiding, alibiing, getting loaded, coming down, getting “well,” juggling our accounts — and all the rest — threatened to turn into empty chunks of time that somehow had to be filled. We needed new energy previously absorbed by our addictions. We soon realized that substituting a new and different activity is far easier than just stopping the old activity and putting nothing in its place. Am I redirecting my mind and energy? Today I Pray I pray that, once free of the encumbrance of my addiction. I may turn to my Higher Power to discover for me how to fill my time constructively and creatively. May that same Power that makes human paths cross and links certain people to specific situations, lead me along good new roads into good new places. Today I Will Remember Happenstance may be more than chance. ************************************************** One More Day Give thanks for sorrow that teaches you pity; for pain that teaches you courage – and give exceeding thanks for the mystery which remains a mystery still — the veil that hides you from the infinite, which makes it possible for you to believe in what you cannot see. – Robert Nathan We cannot run away from problems. Tremendous problems — like a spouse with a chronic illness — must be confronted and resolved. Fears can be overwhelming. Tasks se4em endless, and the challenge seems to great. It is comforting to realize we face nothing alone. We can’t always be courageous, but fear is dispelled by our inner strength, by our trust that we will overcome problems and do as well as is possible. We can talk to ourselves in positive ways. I will not allow fear and panic to overtake me today. Courage will open the door to wisdom and peace of mind. ***************************************** One Day At A Time RESENTMENT ”When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder I once had a situation in which someone I was acquainted with said unkind things about my weight and verbally attacked my spouse in front of my daughter. I worried and revisited the situation over and over for many years until the anger turned to resentment and became a major, entrenched grudge. Because so many of my eating issues stem from emotional ones, this would drive me to eat in an effort to dull, numb and forget my anger. That didn't work ~ the eating didn't stop that anger from turning into resentment. When I would complain about this situation to a friend, she told me that I had to stop allowing that person to "rent space in my mind." I came to realize that I had allowed -- and even nurtured -- a negative energetic link to that person and situation. I couldn't let go of resentment until I was willing to take the needed steps in program and to forgive. Forgiving doesn't mean I didn't learn anything from the situation, and I haven't forgotten the unkind words. But I learned that I needed to be more cautious in my dealings with this type of individual. I learned I can't surround myself with people who are overly-negative and say poisonous things without accepting any accountability for their actions. I have learned that I can be accountable for mine, and that I no longer have to allow myself to be bound by an emotional link to the situation. One day at a time... I will ask my Higher Power to help me to learn to forgive and forget. With the help of my Higher Power, I will let go of unnecessary baggage that causes resentment. ~ Deb B. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first A.A. group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time. A second small group promptly took shape at New York, to be followed in 1937 with the start of a third at Cleveland. Besides these, there were scattered alcoholics who had picked up the basic ideas in Akron or New York who were trying to form groups in other cities. By late 1937, the number of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic. It was now time, the struggling groups thought, to place their message and unique experience before the world. This determination bore fruit in the spring of 1939 by the publication of this volume. The membership had then reached about 100 men and women. The fledgling society, which had been nameless, now began to be called Alcoholics Anonymous, from the title of its own book. The flying-blind period ended and A.A. entered a new phase of its pioneering time. - Pg. xvii - 4th. Edition - Forward To Second Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Whatever your problem now, think of your ideal. Is it to be clean and whole? If so, ask yourself: What sort of neighbor is a clean and sober person? What sort of family member is a clean and sober person? What sort of 12-step program will a clean and sober person work? Please guide me to the consciousness of a clean and sober person. Having Fun Today I will have fun. What's the point of all the work I do in recovery if my life doesn't become lighter and happier? Even though I am working through deep issues, there is no reason why I can't have some enjoyment in the process. Fun is when I relax and let things happen--when I can laugh at myself and other people--when I don't take everything in life so seriously. It is when I can enjoy a seemingly meaningless conversation just for its own sake. Fun is when it doesn't have to be all my way--when the heavy load is removed, when my meter is turned off and I just goof around in the moment. Fun is something I don't have enough of for a number of silly reasons. Today I see that there is no reason not to enjoy myself. I can let go and have fun. On with the dance, let joy be unconfined is my motto, whether there's any dance to dance or not. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'It works,' is the shortest sentence in the AA Big Book and pretty much sums up what the book can do for you. But there's a catch. Keep in mind, the program does not work. The program does not work. Just like alcohol doesn't get you drunk. You have to drink alcohol in order to get drunk. You have to work the program in order for it to work. It works if I work it. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book There are no chemical solutions to spiritual problems. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am becoming more and more aware that I can choose how I feel in the moment. Today I choose to let go of thoughts that are negative and destructive. Today I choose to FEEEEEL good. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I can't control and enjoy my drinking. If I control it, I'm not enjoying it and vice versa. - Liz J. |
June 30
Daily Reflections SACRIFICE = UNITY = SURVIVAL The unity, the effectiveness, and even the survival of A. A. will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice means unity and survival for the group and for A. A.'s entire Fellowship. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 220 I have learned that I must sacrifice some of my personality traits for the good of A. A. and, as a result, I have been rewarded with many gifts. False pride can be inflated through prestige but, by living Tradition Six, I receive the gift of humility instead. Cooperation without affiliation is often deceiving. If I remain unrelated to outside interest, I am free to keep A. A. autonomous. Then the Fellowship will be here, healthy and strong for generations to come. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcoholics are unable or unwilling, during their addiction to alcohol, to live in the present. The result is that they live in a constant state of remorse and fear because of their unholy past and its morbid attraction, or the uncertain future and its vague foreboding. So the only real hope for the alcoholic is to face the present. Now is the time. Now is ours. The past is beyond recall. The future is as uncertain as life itself. Only the now belongs to us. Am I living in the now? Meditation For The Day I must forget the past as much as possible. The past is over and gone forever. Nothing can be done about the past, except to make what restitution I can. I must not carry the burden of my past failures. I must go on in faith. The clouds will clear and the way will lighten. The path will become less stony with every forward step I take. God has no reproach for anything that He has healed. I can be made whole and free, even though I have wrecked my life in the past. Remember the saying: "Neither do I condemn thee; go and sin no more." Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not carry the burden of the past. I pray that I may cast it off and press on in faith. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Imaginary Perfection, p. 181 When we early A.A.'s got our first glimmer of how spiritually prideful we could be, we coined this expression: "Don't try to be a saint by Thursday!" That oldtime admonition may look like another of those handy alibis that can excuse us from trying for our best. Yet a closer view reveals just the contrary. This is our A.A. way of warning against pride-blindness, and the imaginary perfections that we do not possess. << << << >> >> >> Only Step One, where we made the 100 per cent admission that we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection. The remaining eleven Steps state perfect ideals. They are goals toward which we look, and the measuring sticks by which we estimate our progress. 1. Grapevine, June 1961 2. 12 & 12, p. 68 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Making all things new Releasing the Past A 12 Step program should give us a new way of life, our friends often say. We should have new attitudes, new experiences, new opportunities. If we're to grasp this new way of life, we must let go of the old habits of the past. No alcoholic can recover, for example, by choosing to remain in the old drinking environment. We must also "recover" from other relationships and patterns that were destructive or kept us from our highest good. "Behold, I make all things new," is the ancient promise. As our thoughts and beliefs change, the old patterns drop away and the new life reveals itself to us. Today I'll drop the negative or outworn relics from the past and press on to find the things that are for my greatest good. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If you don't know where you are going, You'll probably end up somewhere else.--- Lawrence J. Peter The Twelve Steps are our plan of living. We must have a plan. Without one, we waste our energy. We react instead of think. This is what we did as an addict. We lived our lives as out-of-control people. This caused a lot of pain for us and those around us. Recovery brings us the Twelve Steps, and each Step gives us direction and wisdom. Each Step builds on the progress we made from the Step before it. Sometimes we follow the plan well. Sometimes we think we can do better on our own. Do I believe the Twelve Steps are a good plan of living? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You have shown me a new way of life, a plan for living. Thank you for leading me to the Twelve Steps. Help me follow them. Action for the Day: Today, I'll take time out to read the Twelve Steps. Then I'll list three reasons why the Steps are a good plan for living. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning . . . in silence might be the privilege of the strong, but it was certainly a danger to the weak. For the things I was prompted to keep silent about were nearly always the things I was ashamed of, which would have been far better aired . . . --Joanna Field It has been said, "We are only as sick as the secrets we keep." Our emotional health as recovering women is hindered, perhaps even jeopardized, each time we hold something within that we need to talk over with others. Sharing our fears, our hurts, our anger, keeps open our channel to God. Secrets clutter our mind, preventing the stillness within where our prayers find answers. Secrets keep us stuck. Our health, emotional and spiritual, depends on our commitment to shared experiences. Every secret we have and tell someone, frees that person also to be herself and to grow. Sharing experiences relieves us of our shame and invites the forgiveness we must allow ourselves. Steps Four and Five facilitate the process of sharing those secrets that block our path to God and to one another. Never can we be fully at peace with secrets left untold. Self-revelation cleanses the soul and offers us life. I will be alert to the opportunities to share myself and cherish the freedom offered. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 5 - HOW IT WORKS It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feeling we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. p. 66 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ACCEPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER - The physician wasn't hooked, he thought--he just prescribed drugs medically indicated for his many ailments. Acceptance was his key to liberation. Max hadn't gotten that way because I didn't care. Indeed, it seemed that I cared too much. I had sent her to four consecutive psychiatrists, and not one of them had gotten me sober. I also sent my kids to psychiatrists. I remember, one time, even the dog had a psychiatric diagnosis. I yelled at Max, "What do you mean, 'The dog needs more love'? You tell that dumb cat-and-dog doctor he's not a Beverly Hills psychiatrist. All I want to know is, why does that dog wet in my lap every time I hold him?" (That dog hasn't wet my pants once since I joined A.A., and neither have I!) p. 408 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Seven - "Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. " Probably no A.A. Tradition had the labor pains this one did. In early times, we were all broke. When you add to this the habitual supposition that people ought to give money to alcoholics trying to stay sober, it can be understood why we thought we deserved a pile of folding money. What great things A.A. would be able to do with it! But oddly enough, people who had money thought otherwise. They figured that it was high time we now--sober-- paid our own way. So our Fellowship stayed poor because it had to. p. 160 ************************************************** ********* God, help me to lower my defenses today, to be open to the good in the people around me and to the good that I have to offer them. --Melody Beattie If you desire to align yourself with God's love, take an honest assessment of where love is lacking in your life. Do you embrace the difficult people in your family, work or neighborhood? Do you hold grudges or do you forgive those who betray you? The only way to keep in alignment is to practice choosing love, again and again, even when it's difficult. --Mary Manin Morrissey "Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." --John Wooden Forget your old ideas. Forget the lies they told you. Forget them all, and you will begin to remember. --Marianne Williamson Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. --Ambrose Bierce Our outward behavior is just a reflection of our inner balance or our out of balance. --John-Roger *********************************************** Father Leo's Daily Meditation HUMOR "The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken seriously." --Nicholas Murray Butler For years I used to take myself too seriously. I thought that everything depended upon my thoughts, actions and decisions. Life was a series of agendas that had to be met; life was too serious to be joked about. I knew that I was not God, but I took responsibility for the whole universe. I had opinions on everything and everybody and I was, of course, always right. As the years passed it grew painful being so responsible -- my control produced stress, tension and loneliness. Then a friend said to me, "Let go and let God." I began to detach and laugh at my insane behavior. I laughed more as I began to accept my humanness. I discovered spirituality in the joke. God must have a sense of humor -- after all, He made me. Help me to laugh at myself in my search for the Kingdom. ************************************************** ********* Though you probe my heart and examine me at night, though you test me, you will find nothing; I have resolved that my mouth will not sin. Psalms 17:3 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalms 19:14 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just. Psalms 37:30 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Avoid distraction by concentrating on the task in which you are presently involved. Lord, much that bothers me is useless to my well-being. Help me identify when this happens and replace these thoughts with thoughts that treat me kindly. God will give you strength because He will give of Himself. Lord, thank You for the many gifts of which You always bless me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Maintaining The Foundation "Our newly found faith serves as a firm foundation for courage in the future." Basic Text p. 93 The foundation of our lives is what the rest of our lives is built upon. When we were using, that foundation affected everything we did. When we decided that recovery was important, that's where we began to put our energy. As a result, our whole lives changed. In order to maintain those new lives, we must maintain the foundation of those lives: our recovery program. As we stay clean and our lifestyles change, our priorities will also change. Work and school may become important because they improve the quality of our lives. And new relationships may bring excitement and mutual support. But we need to remember that our recovery program is the foundation upon which our new lives are built. Each day, we must renew our commitment to recovery, maintaining that as our top priority. Just for today: I want to continue enjoying the life I've found in recovery. Today, I will take steps to maintain my foundation. pg. 188 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Cultivate your garden. Let it take root in you until your thousand eyes open like violets to morning light. --Nancy Paddock In our imaginations we can mix images and ideas from all over the world--imagine the thousand eyes of a peacock growing among the purple violets, or babies that grow on trees! In our imaginations we can also nurture feelings of love, affection, self-esteem. All of us--not just writers--can learn to see the images in our own minds. We can do this by breathing slowly, relaxing, and looking at the movie in our minds. We may see a field of wildflowers, or find ourselves wading across a stream in the mountains. We might see happiness as wildflowers and grass coming up through the sidewalk, breaking the concrete into chunks and sand, growing so slowly yet with such great power. It may help us appreciate our growth today to look at it this way. Can I visualize my happiness right now? What does it look like? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don't take much to see that something is wrong, but it takes some eyesight to see what will put it right again. --Will Rogers We come to this day with a choice of whether to be for something or against it. Shall we put energy into what we seek and admire or shall we give our energy to opposition and resistance of what we dislike? If someone asks a favor, we have a choice to resent and resist the intrusion or to engage with the person and see where it might lead. If a project we are working on is frustrating, we can wallow in criticizing it or try to get a clearer picture of what will work and what we want. Criticizing may be a helpful first stage in learning, but it is seductive because it holds little risk and we feel safe doing it. In that comfort we forget to go for ward to create what we really want. Our negative energy, when we are seduced by it, creates negative results. When we look back upon today, we will admire those choices that risked creating something positive. Today, I will not give my energy to denouncing but to creating what I believe is worthwhile. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. . . . in silence might be the privilege of the strong, but it was certainly a danger to the weak. For the things I was prompted to keep silent about were nearly always the things I was ashamed of, which would have been far better aired . . . --Joanna Field It has been said, "We are only as sick as the secrets we keep." Our emotional health as recovering women is hindered, perhaps even jeopardized, each time we hold something within that we need to talk over with others. Sharing our fears, our hurts, our anger, keeps open our channel to God. Secrets clutter our mind, preventing the stillness within where our prayers find answers. Secrets keep us stuck. Our health, emotional and spiritual, depends on our commitment to shared experiences. Every secret we have and tell someone, frees that person also to be herself and to grow. Sharing experiences relieves us of our shame and invites the forgiveness we must allow ourselves. Steps Four and Five facilitate the process of sharing those secrets that block our path to God and to one another. Never can we be fully at peace with secrets left untold. Self-revelation cleanses the soul and offers us life. I will be alert to the opportunities to share myself and cherish the freedom offered. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Accepting Change One day, my mother and I were working together in the garden. We were transplanting some plant for the third time. Grown from seed in a small container, the plants had been transferred to a larger container; then transplanted into the garden. Now, because I was moving, we were transplanting them again. Inexperienced as a gardener, I turned to my green thumbed mother. "Isn't this bad for them?" I asked, as we dug them up and shook the dirt from their roots. "Won't it hurt these plants, being uprooted and transplanted so many times?" "Oh, no," my mother replied. "Transplanting doesn't hurt them. In fact, it's good for the ones that survive. That's how their roots grow strong. Their roots will grow deep, and they'll make strong plants." Often, I've felt like those small plants - uprooted and turned upside down. Sometimes, I've endured the change willingly, sometimes reluctantly, but usually my reaction has been a combination. Won't this be hard on me? I ask. Wouldn't it be better if things remained the same? That's when I remember my mother's words: That's how the roots grow deep and strong. Today, God, help me remember that during times of transition, my faith and my self are being strengthened. Today I trust my instincts. Today I trust I will know at the right time the right answer. Today I have the faith to know that God guides me in my choices. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************** Journey To The Heart Cherish Your Connection to the Universe My relationship with the universe used to be different. I felt separate, apart, disconnected from the rest of the world. My vision of God used to be different,too. I used to see God as sitting on a throne, separate and apart from this world. I still see God as the supreme creative force, but the separateness is melting, changing, transforming into something new. Now I see God, the energy of God, and Divine love as a part of all that is, the breath of life in every living thing. I used to see the world as made up of individual and separate components. I used to see people as disconnected and essentially powerless in a world separated from God. Each thing, person, and action a distinctly different operation or event from any other, from the whole. Now I see a planet full of people connected to the Divine. Now I see a universe connected by a Divine thread that weaves throughout all that is, was, and will be. A living universe that is alive, magical, connected by universal love. Connected by Divine love. Enter into a relationship with the universe, a relationship as alive, as active, as vital as any other relationship. Then know that you are connected to the world and everything in it. Know that universal love, Divine love, is real and you are an important part of it. ************************************************** more language of letting go Make yourself at home It was night, only a few months after I'd begun my skydiving adventure. It was too cold to stay in my tent; I had rented a cabin near the drop zone. Now I'd come back to hang out for a while, before retiring for the night. One of the sky divers I'd met recently was sitting in a lawn chair, under the tarped area between the rows of trailors that had been turned into team rooms and student training areas. The evening lights had been turned on. He was wrapped up in a sleeping bag, reading a book under the hazy glow. He was one of the full-time sky divers, who had been attracted to the gypsy lifestyle of the skydiving community as much as the sport itself. "What are you doing?" I asked. "I'm in my living room, reading a book," he replied. "Do you like the view of the backyard?" he asked, making a gesture toward the rolling hills that cascaded gently in the background. "That's my patio," he said, pointing to a small area just around the corner. "The morning sun hits there. It's a warm place to sit and eat breakfast. Sometimes I sleep in that tent," he said, pointing off to the side. "And sometimes I take my sleeping bag and curl up under the stars in the landing area, over there." I looked around, almost envious of his freedom. Sometimes, we get so busy and involved creating a "home" for ourselves that we create a structure that's too safe, limiting, and confined. We forget about our real home, the planet earth. It's good to sleep indoors. It's nice to make ourselves comfortable in our home. But don't let your cozy nest become a locked, confining box. Stretch your arms. Push the lid off the box. Get out into the world. Walk around. Move about. See the hills, the lakes, the forests, the mountain peaks, the valleys, the rivers. See how big your world can be. See how connected everything is. See how connected you are,too-- to all that is. Make yourself comfortable, wherever you are. Make yourself a home and be at home in the world. God, help me relax and make myself at home in your beautiful world. ************************************************** * Food for Thought Praise God! We did not create this program on our own, and we did not achieve abstinence by ourselves. Our recovery is a gift, just as life is a gift. Light, the natural world, our nourishment, talents, love, and fellowship – all come from our Higher Power. Our role is to receive, use wisely, share, and enjoy the blessings God has showered upon us. When we get over the idea that we can do everything by ourselves, we become receptive to the moving force that creates and sustains us. As we stop looking at life from our own egotistical point of view, we begin to see God’s glory. No longer a slave to our appetites and desires for material things, we are able to rejoice in our Higher Power and to share our joy with those around us. Our recovery from compulsive overeating makes us examples of God’s power to heal and renew. For all of His miracles, we praise Him. In You, there is great joy. ************************************************** * Focused Value Quality vs. Quantity It is not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality that you experience during each moment. We live in an age of quantity. The media shapes us with the notion that larger, faster, and more are often synonymous with better. We are told that we need to find more time, more possessions, and more love to be truly happy. A smaller quantity of anything that is high in quality will almost always be more satisfying. A single piece of our favorite chocolate or a thin spread of freshly made preserves can satisfy us more than a full bucket of a product that we aren’t very fond of. Similarly, one fulfilling experience can eclipse many empty moments strung together. It is not the quantity of time that matters, but the quality that you experience during each moment. Every minute is an opportunity to love yourself and others, develop confidence and self-respect, and exhibit courage. Ultimately, quality can make life sweeter. When you focus on quality, all your life experiences can be meaningful. A modest portion of good, healthy food can nourish and satisfy you on multiple levels and, when organically grown, nourish the earth as well. Likewise, a few hours of deep, restful slumber will leave you feeling more refreshed than a night’s worth of frequently interrupted sleep. A few minutes spent with a loved one catching up on the important details about family, work, or community can carry more meaning than two hours spent watching television together. Often, in the pursuit of quantity we cheat ourselves of quality. Then again, quantity also plays a significant role in our lives. Certain elements, such as hugs, kisses, abundance, and love, are best had in copious amounts that are high in quality. But faced with the choice between a single, heartfelt grin and a lifetime of empty smiles, most would, no doubt, choose the former. Ultimately, it is not how much you live or have or do but what you make of each moment that counts. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I’ve learned in The Program that the trick, for me, is not stopping drinking, but staying stopped and learning how not to start again. It was always relatively easy to stop, if only by sheer incapacity alone; God knows, I stopped literally thousands of times. To stay stopped, I’ve had to develop a positive program of action. I’ve had to learn to live sober, cultivating new habit patterns, new interests and new attitudes. Am I remaining flexible in my new life? Am I exercising my freedom to abandon limited objectives? Today I Pray I pray that my new life will be filled with new patterns, new friends, new activities, new ways of looking at things. I need God’s help to overhaul my lifestyle to include all the newness it must hold. I also need a few ideas of my own. May my independence from chemicals or compulsive behavior help me make my choices with an open mind and a clear; appraising eye. Today I Will Remember Stopping is starting. ************************************************** One More Day The lame man who keeps the right road outstrips the runner who takes a wrong one. Nay, it is obvious that the more active and swift the latter is the further he will go astray. – Francis Bacon As we travel through life, distractions keep us from reaching our destination. Sometimes a wonderful, happy circumstance changes our direction, or a goal may be changed by the intrusion of a serious medical condition. Regardless of altered courses, we want to keep our goals in sight. We must set goals which, whatever our circumstances, we know are attainable. To feel successful and proud of ourselves, we must be able to attain our new goals. And we can if we aim forward ideals that provide dreams, challenges, and the possibility of success. I know the path that is best for me and follow my own road map. ***************************************** One Day At A Time PROCRASTINATION “How does a project get to be a year behind schedule? One day at a time.” Fred Brooks I have been given many talents, and I count them as gifts from my Maker. Throughout life I have discovered that there was virtually nothing that I could not make, bake, say or do with the help of my Higher Power. At the age of three years I learned to crochet and read. I learned to draw, paint, write poetry and quilt. The fact that I was not afraid of failing had a great influence on my ability to tackle any task. Surprisingly, when I felt that I was "grown" and needed to leave home and start a life of my own, I found that finishing anything was almost impossible. I could start anything -- but I seemed to complete nothing. Much to my dismay I had developed the art of procrastination. Just waiting to finish anything tomorrow puts me one day behind. Day by day, the project gets put on the back burner and forgotten. One day at a time I eventually find that I am years into finishing some things. Thanks to this program and its wonderful steps and tools, I have found that by working "one day at a time" I can be -- and am -- a person who starts and finishes things. This is who God created me to be...not the person who continually puts things off. It took a lot of reading and prayer and meditating on God's Word for me to get where I am today...a person who takes action on the tasks before me. I am far from perfect, but I am making progress. One day at a time... Just for today I will take action and not put off until tomorrow what I can do today. ~ Annie K. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The doctor's theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us. As laymen, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little. But as ex-problem drinkers, we can say that his explanation makes good sense. It explains many things for which we cannot otherwise account. - Pg. xxvi - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion Hour To Hour - Book - Quote If by now, we don't have a sponsor, now is the time. We must choose one and use one. A sponsor is not a tyrant. In the beginning we don't have a program, so we use our sponsor's program until we clear up enough to create our own. Higher Power, as I understand You, may You show me this day who is to be my sponsor. A Return to Living Today, I keep my house clean and let go of the rest - some of the ways that I wish to live as a recovered person will not be readily understood by others. I will keep my own scorecard clean and not worry about the results. I will act in a way that makes it easier for me to live with myself - that keeps my own conscience clear. Other people's negative projections of me no longer run me. I am the one who makes the decisions about who I want to be. I need not defend and explain myself again and again. I need not ask permission to be who I am. I allow myself to be happy in my own skin today. I think well of myself, no matter what others think of me. I create my own self. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Sitting at a meeting and sharing how much you love everyone in the room is meaningless if you fail to help cleanup, talk to the newcomer, inquire after the old-timer, and make sure everyone has a ride home. My well done is better than my well said. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Relapse is NOT a requirement. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will listen to the messages that go on in my head and decide for myself if they are healthy. Today I will choose to follow positive messages that I tell myself or create new messages that are positive and healthy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The highest rank in AA: Chief Servant. - Danny T. |
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