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Daily Recovery Readings - January
January 1
Daily Reflections "I AM A MIRACLE" The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25 This truly is a fact in my life today, and a real miracle. I always believed in God, but could never put that belief meaningfully into my life. Today, because of Alcoholics Anonymous, I now trust and rely on God, as I understand Him; I am sober today because of that! Learning to trust and rely on God was something I could never have done alone. I now believe in miracles because I am one! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When I came into A.A., was I a desperate person? Did I have a soul-sickness? Was I so sick of myself and my way of living that I couldn't stand looking at myself in a mirror? Was I ready for A.A.? Was I ready to try anything that would help me to get sober and to get over my soul-sickness? Should I ever forget the condition I was in? Meditation For The Day In the new year, I will live one day at a time. I will make each day one of preparation for better things ahead. I will not dwell on the past or the future, only on the present. I will bury every fear of the future, all thoughts of unkindness and bitterness, all my dislikes, my resentments, my sense of failure, my disappointments in others and in myself, my gloom and my despondency. I will leave all these things buried and go forward, in this new year, into a new life. Prayer For The Day I pray that God will guide me one day at a time in the new year. I pray that for each day, God will supply the wisdom and the strength that I need. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Personality Change, p. 1 "It has often been said of A.A. that we are interested only in alcoholism. That is not true. We have to get over drinking in order to stay alive. But anyone who knows the alcoholic personality by firsthand contact knows that no true alky ever stops drinking permanently without undergoing a profound personality change." << << << >> >> >> We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn't do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were. 1. Letter, 1940 2. 12 & 12, p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places A year to grow. Growth. This new year can be a time of growth in sobriety. While we have no crystal ball that tells us what luck and fortune the year will bring, we do have a program that gives us the power to make the best of this year, to grow in sobriety. We can make progress in overcoming resentment and selfishness, we can help others in their search for happy sobriety, and we can make better use of our talents and opportunities. We can live sober, and we also can find happiness and true self-esteem in sobriety. In our drinking, a desperate search for happiness and self-esteem compelled us to drink, but we could never find our happy destiny in the bottle. No matter what came to us, things had a way of turning sour as we continued to drink and to take other harmful substances. In our new life, we have good reason to feel confident and optimistic. We have friends who understand us; we have sponsors who will share with us their own experience and hope. We have a Higher Power who is, as the poet Tennyson said, "closer to us than breathing, and nearer than hands and feet." We face nothing alone, and in the new year all experiences can help us grow. I face this day with confidence, courage, and optimism. I will know that my Higher Power is present in every person and situation. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We admitted we were powerless over alcohol...--First part of Step One. In Step One, we accept our powerlessness over alcohol and other drugs. But we are powerless over many parts of life. We are powerless over other people. We are powerless over what our HP has planned for us. Before recovery, we only believed in control. We tried to control everything. We fought against a basic truth, the truth that we are powerless over much of life. When we accept this truth, we begin to see what power we do have. We have the power to make choices. When we're lonely, we have the power to reach out to others. We have power over how we live our own lives. PRAYER: HP, help me to know that it's You who is running my life. Help me to know that power comes from accepting I am powerless. ACTION: I am powerless over much of life. Today, I'll look to see how this is true. I'll look to see what I really have control over and what I don't. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning We don't always understand the ways of Almighty God--the crosses sent us, the sacrifices demanded . . . But we accept with faith and resignation the holy will with no looking back, and we are at peace. --Anonymous Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically, seek. We can put the past behind us. Each day is a new beginning. And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope. A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of its presence strengthens us, moment by moment. The past is gone. Today is full of possibilities. With each breath I will be aware of the strength at hand. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that. p. 95 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. Along the way I learned, in spite of myself, that the best thing about A.A. service jobs is that, for a period of time, I got out of myself. At some point I began to shut my mouth and actually listen to what other people were saying at meetings. After white-knuckling it for almost two years in A.A., I finally broke down and saw that I could not stay sober all by myself, but I was terrified of going back to drinking. After all my suicide attempts I had no fear of dying, but I could not stand the idea that I would go back to living that way again. I was at what the oldtimers and our literature refer to as a "jumping-off point." I didn't know what to do. p. 491 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." And what can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life? At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them. If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability? Yes--whenever they try hard to seek them out. Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, these so-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone. In partnership with others--women and men--they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects. Free of marital responsibilities, they can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women. We daily see such members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return. p. 120 ************************************************** ********* A WORD A CARELESS WORD MAY KINDLE STRIFE.... A CRUEL WORD MAY WRECK A LIFE........ A TIMELY WORD MAY LEVEL STRESS....... BUT A LOVING WORD MAY HEAL AND BLESS. Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. --Helen Keller In the process of growing to spiritual maturity, we all go through many adolescent stages. --Miki L. Bowen "Don't water your weeds." --Harvey Mackay "A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary." --Thomas Carruthers Ah the dawn of a New Year! May we find inner peace, gentle spirit, God's grace, forgiveness, dreams and prayers, Recovery. --Shelley ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SPIRITUALITY "It is not that I think or believe [in spirituality] but that I know." -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Some things I seem to know intuitively: and I know that spirituality is involved in and affects everything. In a human being it combines the physical, mental and emotional but it also reaches beyond the human being and connects the peoples of the world. Spirituality is the force for good and wholeness in this universe. This is not just an opinion or a thought. It is a feeling that runs so deep in my being that I know it must be true. When I read, hear music or see movies, this feeling is often evoked, and I know God is alive in His world and wanting it to be ONE. In the silence of Your world I know You. ************************************************** ********* The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made. Psalm 145 : 9 "I will sing praises to my God my life long." Psalm 146:2 "Protect me. O God, for in you I take refuge.... You show me the path of life." Psalm 16:1,11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Begin every day as if it were your very first because you really are always at the beginning. Lord, thank you for the constant ability to stop any offensive behaviors that I have and the gift of being forgiven and being able to forgive myself. To be wise, you must first find peace, for peace opens the door to a freer and fuller life. Lord, continue to draw me close to You so that I can know more and more of Your peace within me. ***************************************** NA Just For Today Vigilance “We keep what we have only with vigilance … ” —Basic Text, p. 57 How do we remain vigilant about our recovery? First, by realizing that we have a disease we will always have. No matter how long we’ve been clean, no matter how much better our lives have become, no matter what the extent of our spiritual healing, we are still addicts. Our disease waits patiently, ready to spring the trap if we give it the opportunity. Vigilance is a daily accomplishment. We strive to be constantly alert and ready to deal with signs of trouble. Not that we should live in irrational fear that something horrible will possess us if we drop our guard for an instant; we just take normal precautions. Daily prayer, regular meeting attendance, and choosing not to compromise spiritual principles for the easier way are acts of vigilance. We take inventory as necessary, share with others whenever we are asked, and carefully nurture our recovery. Above all, we stay aware. We have a daily reprieve from our addiction as long as we remain vigilant. Each day, we carry the principles of recovery into all we do, and each night, we thank our Higher Power for another day clean. Just for today: I will be vigilant, doing everything necessary to guard my recovery. ***************************************** You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. --Hada Bejar Nothing is more attractive than sharing with others. No trait will be admired as much as generosity. There is no surer way to gain the respect of friends and neighbors than to show by what we give that we care about others. We can give many things besides money, shelter, clothing, or food to those in need. We can give the rich person love and understanding that money can't buy. We can sympathize with those who are troubled, even though they appear wealthier than ourselves. We can share experience, strength, and hope with those who are ill or unhappy. We can even share our suffering with others who suffer, and hold up a light for them on the road to recovery. You are reading from the book Touchstones. He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. --Dutch proverb When we see how far we've strayed from being the kind of men we wanted to be, we are overwhelmed by how far we have to go to get back on the track. Perhaps we see clearly for the first time how unfair we were or how much we hurt those we love. Maybe we see how pervasive our compulsions are in our lives and how much we missed. That is when we are most ready to do the work of recovery and become most spiritual. It is helpful at those times to remember that this program is a journey. Although at times the distance seems overwhelming, all of us are on the path. As long as we live, we never reach a point where we can stop growing. The important thing is, we are on the path, and we have a good part of our journey behind us. Once begun, outside the door, we are progressing like all our brothers and sisters in the program. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. We don't always understand the ways of Almighty God--the crosses sent us, the sacrifices demanded . . . But we accept with faith and resignation the holy will with no looking back, and we are at peace. --Anonymous Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically, seek. We can put the past behind us. Each day is a new beginning. And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope. A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of its presence strengthens us, moment by moment. The past is gone. Today is full of possibilities. With each breath I will be aware of the strength at hand. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. The New Year Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come. Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction. What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed? What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life? Remember, we aren't controlling others with our goals - we are trying to give direction to our life. What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career? What would you like to see happen inside and around you? Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down - as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go. Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story. The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals. Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing dawn goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life. Today I am on my spiritual path to recovery. A NEW YEAR! AND A HAPPY, PEACEFUL AND JOYOUS ONE FOR EVERYONE! --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the heart Honor the Beginning Beginnings can be delicate or explosive. They can start almost invisibly or arrive with a big bang. Beginnings hold the promise of new lessons to be learned, new territory to be explored, and old lessons to be recalled, practiced, and appreciated. Beginnings hold ambiguity, promise, fear, and hope. Don't let the lessons, the experiences of the past, dampen your enthusiasm for beginngs. Just because it's been hard doesn't mean it will always be that difficult. Don't let the heartbreaks of the past cause you to become cynical, close you off to life's magic and promise. Open yourself wide to all that the universe has to say. Let yourself begin anew. Pack your bags. Choose carefully what you bring, because packing is an important ritual. Take along some humility and the lessons of the past. Toss in some curiosity and excitement about what you haven't yet learned. Say your good-byes to those you're leaving behind. Don'y worry who you will meet or where you will go. The way has been prepared. The people you are to meet will be expecting you. A new journey has begun. Let it be magical. Let it unfold. All parts of the journey are sacred and holy. Take time now to honor the beginning. ***** more language of letting go Trust that good will come It was a slow, bring January day at the Blue Sky Lodge. We had just moved in. The house was a mess. Construction hadn't begun yet. All we had was a plan, and a dream. It was too cold and rainy to skydive or even be outdoors. There wasn't any furniture yet. We were lying around on the floor. I don't know who got the idea first, him or me. But we both picked up Magic Markers about the same time. Then we started drawing on the wall. "What do you want to happen in your life?" I asked. He drew pictures of seaplanes, and mountains, and boats leaving the shore. One picture was a video-camera man, jumping out of a plane. "I want adventure," he said. I drew pictures of a woman tromping around the world. She went to war-torn countries, then sat on a fence and watched. She visited the mountains and the oceans and many exciting places. Then I drew a heart around the entire picture, and she sat there in the middle of all the experiences on a big stack of books. "I want stories," I said, "ones with a lot of heart." Across the entire picture, in big letters, he wrote the word "Woohoo." As an afterthought, I drew a woman sky diver who had just jumped out of the plane. She was frightened and grimacing. Next to her I wrote the words "Just relax." On the bottom of the wall I wrote, "The future is only limited by what we can see now." He grabbed a marker, crossed out "only," and changed it to "never." "There," he said, "it's done." Eventually, the house got cleaned up and the construction finished. Furniture arrived. And yellow paint covered the pictures on the wall. We didn't think much about that wall until months later Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and sometimes in ways we'd least expect, each of the pictures we'd drawn on that wall began to materialize and manifest. "It's a magic wall," I said. Even if you can't imagine what's coming next, relax. The good pictures are still there. The wall will soon become covered with the story of your life. Thank God, the future is never limited by what we can see right now. The wall isn't magic. The magic is in us and what we believe. Before we start speaking the language of letting go, we need to understand what a powerful behavior letting go and letting God really is. God, help me do my part. Then help me let go, and let you do yours. Activity: Meditate for a moment on the year ahead. Make a list of things you'd like to see happen, attributes you'd like to gain, things you'd like to get and do, changes you'd like to occur. You don't have to limit the list to this year. What do you want to happen in your life? Make a list of places you'd like to visit and things you'd like to see. Leave room for the unexpected, the unintended. But make room for the possibility of what you'd like,too-- your intentions, wishes, dreams, hopes, and goals. Also, list what you're ready to let go of,too-- things, people, attitudes, and behaviors you'd like to release. If anything were possible, anything at all, what are the possibilities you'd like to experience and see. ***** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day In the old days, I saw everything in terms of forever. Endless hours were spent rehashing old mistakes. I tried to take comfort in the forlorn hope that tomorrow “would be different.” As a result, I lived a fantasy life in which happiness was all but nonexistent. No wonder I rarely smiled and hardly ever laughed aloud. Do I still think in terms of “forever?” Today I Pray May I set my goals for the New Year not at the year-long mark, but one day at a time. My traditional New Year’s resolutions have been so grandly stated and so soon broken. Let me not weaken my resolve by stretching it to cover “forever” – or even one long year. May I reapply it firmly each new day. May I learn not to stamp my past mistakes with that indelible word “forever.” Instead, may each single day in each New Year be freshened by my new-found hope. Today I Will Remember Happy New Day. ***************************************** One More Day The beginning is the most important part of the work. – Plato On occasion we feel a bit sad as we ready ourselves for bed, knowing that our bedtime routine marks the end of another day. We may experience a slight sense of loss — time lost, opportunities lost, a piece of life gone forever. Or we may be filled with regret over words uttered harshly. We can put this back into perspective with the realization that the nicest part about going to bed at night is knowing the daylight will come in the morning. We can’t erase today’s mistakes, but we can leave them with the day now past. We can set our sights on tomorrow. The dy we awaken to will hold a golden opportunity — to make amends, to make changes, to use our time well, to start the rest of our lives anew. My life is made of some endings and many beginnings. I can choose to end an unproductive pattern by seeing it as a chance to begin. ***************************************** One Day At A Time STEP THREE “This only God may be had for the asking.” James Russell Lowell When I first came to the program and looked at the steps on the walls, my ego told me that I had Step Three already made. Of course, I had skipped right over Steps One and Two! I thought because I had experienced a religious experience many years ago, I didn’t need to take Step Three. What I was to discover in the next few months on my wonderful journey in recovery is that spirituality and religion were two different things. That my religion today is part of my spirituality, but my spirituality is so much more. I finally in Step One “Came”. I kept coming to meetings and admitted my powerless and unmanageability. Then I “Came to.” Through Step Two a portion of my sanity was restored and continues to be restored on a daily basis. Then at the point of taking Step Three I “Came To Believe”. I realized that I had not turned my will and my life over to the care of God in the area of my compulsive overeating. That was a task yet to be done. And I offered myself to my God to do with as He would. I said the Third Step prayer which can be found in Alcoholic Anonymous on page 63, “God, I offer myself to Thee – the build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!” I had taken the Third Step. I was moved into a new dimension in my spiritual life. One Day at a Time . . . I will take Step Three this day, turning my will and life over to the care of my God. ~ Carolyn ***************************************** AA ‘Big Book’ – Quote HAPPY NEW YEAR! … If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it – then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find and easier, softer way. But we could not. – Pg. 58 – How It Works Hour To Hour – Book – Quote Many times we thought we used chemicals because we were unhappy, but coming to this program, we discovered that using too many chemicals is what made us unhappy. Now is the time to break the old unhappy pattern. This hour, I begin a new clean and sober pattern of my life. Co-Creation I live in a world of possibilities. I live in a world in which my imagination walks ahead of me. What I can see in my mind’s eye can manifest. First, I have to see it, feel it, experience it as real. Then I open a door within me through which my vision can manifest in God’s time. I am limited only by what I am willing to accept as possible. Life is a creative process in which I am the co-creator. God and I work together to make this world a better place to be. I co-create a beautiful world. If not now, when? If not you, who? If not here, where? – Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor – Book – Quote Do not regret the past. ‘The past is but the beginning of a beginning/and all that is and has been/is but the twilight of the dawn.’ ~H. G. Wells from Beside Prayers. Your past is the beginning of this beginning. I ‘will not regret the past nor wish to close the door on it.’ (P 83, AA Big Book) “Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book” – Book Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching today? Time for Joy – Book – Quote A NEW YEAR! AND A HAPPY, PEACEFUL AND JOYOUS ONE FOR EVERYONE! Today I am on my spiritual path to recovery. Alkiespeak – Book – Quote I don’t know if I was born an alcoholic. I do know that when I had my first drink an alcoholic was born. – Keith D. |
January 2
Daily Reflections FIRST, THE FOUNDATION Is sobriety all that we can expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning. As Bill Sees It, p. 8 Practicing the A.A. program is like building a house. First I had to pour a big, thick concrete slab on which to erect the house; that, to me, was the equivalent of stopping drinking. But it's pretty uncomfortable living on a concrete slab, unprotected and exposed to the heat, cold, wind and rain. So I built a room on the slab by starting to practice the program. The first room was rickety because I wasn't used to the work. But as time passed, as I practiced the program, I learned to build better rooms. The more I practiced, and the more I built, the more comfortable, and happy, was the home I now have to live in. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day What makes A.A. work? The first thing is to have a revulsion against myself and my way of living. Then I must admit I was helpless, that alcohol had me licked and I couldn't do anything about it. The next thing is to honestly want to quit the old life. Then I must surrender my life to a Higher Power, put my drinking problem in His hands and leave it there. After these things are done, I should attend meetings regularly for fellowship and sharing. I should also try to help other alcoholics. Am I doing these things? Meditation For The Day You are so made that you can only carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more. If you weigh yourself down with the years behind and the days ahead, your back breaks. God has promised to help with the burdens of the day only. If you are foolish enough to gather again that burden of the past and carry it, then indeed you cannot expect God to help you bear it. So forget that which lies behind you and breathe in the blessing of each new day. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may realize that, for good or bad, past days have ended. I pray that I may face each new day, the coming twenty-four hours, with hope and courage. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It In God's Hands, p. 2 When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned. << << << >> >> >> My depression deepened unbearably, and finally it seemed to me as though I were at the very bottom of the pit. For the moment, the last vestige of my proud obstinacy was crushed. All at once I found myself crying out, "If there is a God, let Him show Himself! I am ready to do anything, anything!" Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. It seemed to me, in the mind's eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, "So this is the God of the preachers!" 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 100 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 63 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The Delusion of "Just one more" Other Excesses A binge is a chain reaction that starts with one drink. After a grim period of enforced abstinence, that first drink may have brought us intense emotional release and a peak feeling of euphoria. For the rest of the binge, there was a continuing delusion that the next drink would help us recapture that peak experience. Delusion leads us to other excesses. Some alcoholics also binge on smoking, food, sex, and power and recognition. In this frantic seeking, our basic delusion is that substances and things can satisfy what is really a spiritual need. Instead of realizing that there is a law of diminishing returns in the enjoyment of such things, we cling to the delusion that "just one more" will bring the relief and satisfaction we want. Delusions brought disillusionment, and only the truth set us free from alcohol. Other excesses might not hurt us to the extent alcohol did, but the excesses of our drinking years carry lessons that are equally applicable to other human problems. I will carry out the day's activities knowing that I already have enough of everything I need for this day alone. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple ..our lives had become unmanageable. Second half of Step One. The First Step tells us a lot about our addiction. We were out of control. Our addiction was in control. Addiction managed everything. It managed our relationships. It managed how we behaved with our families. As Step One says, "...our lives had become unmanageable." But we pretended we managed our lives. What a lie! Addiction ran our lives--not us. We weren't honest with ourselves. Our program heals us through self-honesty. We feel better just speaking the truth. We are becoming good people with spiritual values. Our spiritual journey has begun. Prayer: Higher Power, I give YOU my life to manage. When I'm faced with a choice, I'll ask myself, "What would my Higher Power choose for me?" Action: Today, I'll be honest with a friend about how unmanageable my life had become. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I believe that true identify is found . . . in creative activity springing from within. It is found, paradoxically, when one loses oneself. Woman can best re-find herself by losing herself in some kind of creative activity of her own. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Creative activity might mean bird watching, tennis, quilting, cooking, painting, writing. Creative activity immerses us fully in the here and now, and at the same time it frees us. We become one with the activity and are nourished by it. We grow as the activity grows. We learn who we are in the very process of not thinking about who we are. Spirituality and creativity are akin. There is an exhilaration rooted deep within us that is a lifeline to God. Creative activity releases the exhilaration, and the energy goes through us and out to others. We find ourselves and our higher power through the loss of our self-conscious selves while creating--a picture, a sentence, a special meal. Creativity is a given. It is another dimension of the spiritual presence guiding us all. I'll get out of its way today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance. p. 96 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. One evening I did the unimaginable--at least for me. After picking up my sponsor of the month to go to a meeting, I informed him that I was ready to work the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. In most respects my life began again that night. That man took me through the steps in a loving, gentle way that for the remainder of my life I will be grateful for. He taught me to look inward at my soul, to welcome a Higher Power in my life, and to reach out to others. He taught me how to look into a mirror and to like, and even respect, the man who looked back at me. p. 491 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Where the possession of money and material things was concerned, our outlook underwent the same revolutionary change. With a few exceptions, all of us had been spendthrifts. We threw money about in every direction with the purpose of pleasing ourselves and impressing other people. In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply was inexhaustible, though between binges we'd sometimes go to the other extreme and become almost miserly. Without realizing it we were just accumulating funds for the next spree. Money was the symbol of pleasure and self-importance. When our drinking had become much worse, money was only an urgent requirement which could supply us with the next drink and the temporary comfort of oblivion it brought. p. 120 ************************************************** ********* "Making prompt amends is the fresh air of each new day." --Sandra Little "We have to do the best we can. This is our sacred human responsibility." --Albert Einstein "Never settle for anything less than your best." --Brian Tracy The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. --Siddhartha Gautama Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation MARTYRS "A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it." -- Oscar Wilde I came to the conclusion in my battle with alcoholism that my involvement with God's will for me was crucial; my choice is the result of God's bestowed gift of freedom. And freedom is awfully real! The price of freedom is Auschwitz; the price of freedom is the world's starving millions; the price of freedom is the dead drunk in a derelict building. Men do insane and destructive things, usually because they think they know best. Men die to protect their ego. The sin of Adam, wanting to be like God, haunts us all. Today I am learning to detach spiritually in order to discover a pure and selfless love. I stand back and consider before I act; often after a time of reflection I see the event differently --- and it is okay to change my mind. Lord, I understand choice to be the key to my humanity. ************************************************** ********* See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." Psalm 119:105 "By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness." Luke 1:78-79 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Peace is one of our greatest needs because it provides for the strength we need in times of turmoil. Lord, I turn to You because You are my source of peace. Laughter is a great way to reduce stress and prevent taking ourselves too seriously. Lord, bless me with a healthy sense of humor. ***************************************** NA Just For Today Take a deep breath and talk to God "Sometimes when we pray, a remarkable thing happens: We find the means, ways, and energies to perform tasks far beyond our capacities." Basic Text p. 44 Coping successfully with life's minor annoyances and frustrations is sometimes the most difficult skill we have to learn in recovery. We are faced with small inconveniences daily. From untangling the knots in our children's shoelaces to standing in line at the market, our days are filled with minor difficulties that we must somehow deal with. If we're not careful, we may find ourselves dealing with these difficulties by bullying our way through each problem or grinding our teeth while giving ourselves a stern lecture about how we should handle them. These are extreme examples of poor coping skills, but even if we're not this bad there's probably room for improvement. Each time life presents us with another little setback to our daily plans, we can simply take a deep breath and talk to the God of our understanding. Knowing we can draw patience, tolerance, or whatever we need from that Power, we find ourselves coping better and smiling more often. Just for today: I will take a deep breath and talk to my God whenever I feel frustrated. ***************************************** You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Happiness is like manna; it is to be gathered and enjoyed every day. --Tryon Edwards Life is like a winding path surrounded by flowers, butterflies, and delicious fruit, but many of us spend much of life looking for happiness around the next corner. We do not bend to enjoy the happiness which is ours for the taking just at our feet. In our desire to reach the "pot of gold," the complete and lasting happiness we all want to fill our lives, we ignore anything which doesn't seem worthy of such a large ambition, or which can't give us the whole thing all at once. Happiness is all around us, but it often comes in small grains. When we gather it grain by grain, we soon have a basketful. You are reading from the book Touchstones. When you can't stand criticism you learn to be a perfectionist. --Anonymous It's human to make mistakes and to feel incomplete. Perhaps if we were all smooth plastic printouts we could expect perfection of ourselves. Each man is actually a process. We are not things, but events -- happenings--and the events are still unfolding. These are our creative spiritual adventures. We have somehow learned that openness to criticism is dangerous. Perhaps we thought someone would not like us if we were wrong, or that we would get hurt or belittled. When we live with a relationship to our Higher Power, we can stand up for ourselves. A man has a right to make some mistakes! We grow more if we allow ourselves the leeway of simply being in process. I will not ask to have the power of perfection. I will only ask that I not be alone in the process of living my life. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I believe that true identify is found . . . in creative activity springing from within. It is found, paradoxically, when one loses oneself. Woman can best re-find herself by losing herself in some kind of creative activity of her own. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Creative activity might mean bird watching, tennis, quilting, cooking, painting, writing. Creative activity immerses us fully in the here and now, and at the same time it frees us. We become one with the activity and are nourished by it. We grow as the activity grows. We learn who we are in the very process of not thinking about who we are. Spirituality and creativity are akin. There is an exhilaration rooted deep within us that is a lifeline to God. Creative activity releases the exhilaration, and the energy goes through us and out to others. We find ourselves and our higher power through the loss of our self-conscious selves while creating--a picture, a sentence, a special meal. Creativity is a given. It is another dimension of the spiritual presence guiding us all. I'll get out of its way today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Healthy Limits Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits' is connected to all phases of recovery: growing in self esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves. Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes dearer, so will our boundaries. Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We'll set a limit when we're ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There's something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed. Today, I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me. I am beginning to trust myself. I am beginning to discover that I am okay. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Map Your Own Journey Go on your own journey. Don’t let others hold you back; don’t hold them back. Don’t judge their journey, and don’t let them judge yours. All persons are free to have the experiences their souls lead them to. Many of us started our journey by having the experiences others thought we should. Some of us tried to dictate the lessons and adventures of others,too. This caused pain and confusion for all. Learning those lessons, the lessons of setting each other free, became an important part of our journey. But now we’re on to a new part. Pack your bags. Get out your map. Don’t worry about where you’ll go and what you’ll see. Go where your heart leads. Your soul knows the way. It will speak quietly through the voice of your heart, your wisdom, your intuition. Listen to the voice, the quiet voice within, that assures you you’re safe. You will meet and learn from everyone you need to along the way. Don’t limit your own experiences. Don’t limit the experiences of those you love, or those you meet along the way. Start today to follow your heart. Map out your own journey. Have the adventure of a lifetime. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Doing my part The surest way to become Tense, Awkward, and Confused is to develop a mind that tries too hard– one that thinks too much. –Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh The universe will help us, but we need to do our part as well. Here’s an acronym, My part, to help you remember what it means to do that. Manifest Your Power Accept Relax Trust Too often, we tell ourselves the only way to get from point A to point B– or Z is to tense up, obsess a little (or a lot), and live in fear and anxiety until what we want takes place. That isn’t the path to success. It’s the path to fear and anxiety. Accept. Relax. Breathe. Let go. Trust yourself, God, and the universe to manifest the best possible destiny when the time is right for you. God, help me make the journey from fear and control to letting go and stepping into my true power. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Before I came to The Program, I hadn’t the faintest idea of what it was to “Live In The Now.” I often became obsessed with the things that happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Worse yet, many of my waking hours were spent cleaning away the “wreckage of the future.” “To me,” Walt Whitman once wrote, “every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.” Can I truly believe that in my heart? Today I Pray Let me carry only the weight of 24 hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday’s regrets or tomorrow’s anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. May I learn the balance of soul that comes through keeping close to God. Today I Will Remember Don’t borrow from tomorrow. ***************************************** One More Day Our share of night to bear, Our share of morning … – Emily Dickinson We pray for one more day. One more week. Just until the next marker of time or the next major event occurs. “Just let me live until spring,” we pray, “until my newest grandchild is born … until my next birthday.” We pray and may not even recognize these silent, secret pleas as being prayers. It’s human nature to ask for a little more time. Most of us feel as though we have not completed our role on earth. Time, however, is gradually becoming more of a friend than an enemy. We have today, which is all that anyone — healthy or chronically ill — really ever has. No one has an iron-clad promise of weeks, months, or years. Our acceptance of life’s unpredictability frees us of our preoccupation with more time and allows us to use this time — today. Life is now — today — and I value it by living fully. ***************************************** One Day At A Time LETTING GO “He who cannot rest, cannot work; He who cannot let go, cannot hold on; He who cannot find footing, cannot go forward.” Harry Emerson Fosdick Prior to walking through the doors of this program, my goal in life was to set up barricades against possible attacks. My mind was cluttered with battle strategies and defense tactics. I tried to predict every conceivable plot to topple me from my self-appointed throne. I sought to control situations in order to dominate the outcomes. To that end, I would bend over backwards to do for others what I didn’t want them to do for themselves. I maneuvered myself into positions of power so that I wasn’t presented with any surprises. Every situation was weighed for the probability of failure. I never took chances. This process took time and vast amounts of energy. My mind was in a constant cacophony. Consequently, there was no room for growth, no space for acquiring new skills and no time to develop old ones. Every day was a constant juggling act between an ever-decreasing energy supply and an escalating demand to feel secure. The more I sought to control, the less I controlled. Working through Step One brought my whole crusade to an end. I learned to let go of what I had laughingly called control. I learned to relinquish the helm and acknowledge that I wasn’t such a good driver. Almost instantly I became aware of a path beneath my feet. I was, for the first time in the longest time, moving forward. The scenery was changing and the outlook was brighter. One Day at a Time . . . I will accept what I cannot do alone, and let go and let God. ~ Sue G ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote In addition to these casual get-togethers, it became customary to set apart one night a week for a meeting to be attended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life. Aside from fellowship and sociability, the prime object was to provide a time and place where new people might bring their problems. - Pg. 160 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The most basic thing you can do right now is to understand the basics. Don't drink, pop pills, shoot dope, snort coke, smoke crack AND listen to the people you came to for help. My divine Source aids me in putting everything in perspective this hour--the basics are: don't use and listen! Staying with Myself Today, I see that taking care of myself begins inside of me. It is not just a function of what I do, but the attitude with which I move through my day. Having my own life is about checking in with myself to see how I'm doing. It's wearing a sweater if I'm cold and taking a break if I'm tired. It's making sure that I'm having enough fun in my life, paying attention to what I enjoy doing, doing more of that and finding ways of reducing what doesn't feel good. Having a life that is well suited to me is letting myself have my own unique likes and dislikes, and acting on them in constructive ways. It is not organizing my life so that it is good enough for everyone else, forgetting that it needs to be good enough for me as well. I occupy the center of my own life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you think you are having a problem with God, just try to imagine the problem He/She is having with you! There is no way to know God's Will unless I do it. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Surrender means following the direction God's finger is pointing. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am beginning to trust myself. I am beginning to discover that I am okay. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Look back on the past - but don't stare. - Anon. |
January 3
Daily Reflections POWERLESS We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21 It is no coincidence that the very first Step mentions powerlessness: An admission of personal powerlessness over alcohol is a cornerstone of the foundation of recovery. I've learned that I do not have the power and control I once thought I had. I am powerless over what people think about me. I am powerless over having just missed the bus. I am powerless over how other people work (or don't work) the Steps. But I've also learned I am not powerless over some things. I am not powerless over my attitudes. I am not powerless over negativity. I am not powerless over assuming responsibility for my own recovery. I have the power to exert a positive influence on myself, my loved ones, and the world in which I live. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When I came into A.A., I learned what an alcoholic was and then I applied this knowledge to myself to see if I was an alcoholic. When I was convinced that I was an alcoholic, I admitted it openly. Since then, have I been learning to live accordingly? Have I read the book Alcoholics Anonymous? Have I applied the knowledge gained to myself? Have I admitted openly that I am an alcoholic? Am I ready to admit it at any time when I can be of help? Meditation For The Day I will be renewed. I will be remade. In this, I need God's help. His spirit shall flow through me and, in flowing through me, it shall sweep away all the bitter past. I will take heart. The way will open for me. Each day will unfold something good, as long as I am trying to live the way I believe God wants me to live. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be taught, just as a child would be taught. I pray that I may never question God's plans, but accept them gladly. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Pain And Progress, p. 3 "Years ago I used to commiserate with all people who suffered. Now I commiserate only with those who suffer in ignorance, who do not understand the purpose and ultimate utility of pain." << << << >> >> >> Someone once remarked that pain is the touchstone of spiritual progress. How heartily we A.A.'s can agree with him, for we know that the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, and emotional turmoil before serenity. << << << >> >> >> "Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see." 1. Letter, 1950 2. 12 & 12, pp. 93-94 3. Letter, 1950 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Forgiving others___Releasing the past There is a general reluctance on the part of most people to forgive old injuries. Some of us wasted lots of time brooding about old wrongs done to us or trying to get even for some past injuries. But the only way we can ever really get even is to forgive others completely and without the slightest hidden reservation. If we haven't forgiven others, the old resentments are a poison in our own lives. We continue to feel the pain of the original injury, and the ensuing resentment destroys our peace of mind and endangers our relationships. In forgiving others, we do not grant a favor to them, but to ourselves. By extending forgiveness, we release thoughts and feelings that have been like a cancer in our lives. We are not giving up a possession or a right; instead, we are freeing ourselves from a burden that nobody needs to carry. We are letting go of garbage that we do not need in our lives. When we forgive others, we also realize that we are forgiven. As it is stated in closing meetings, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." I will not review past hurts and injuries this day. I will go through the day knowing that God forgives me to the extent that I forgive. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.---Unknown As we work Step One, we accept that alcohol and other drugs are poison to us. We accept our limits. This means we know that hanging around our using "buddies" can remind us of "the good old days." Hanging around "slippery places" means we could "slip" back into our old ways. This isn't testing our sobriety; it's being reckless with it. So let's accept our limits. Everybody has limits. When we know our limits, we protect our recovery against the people and places that pull us from our spiritual center. This is what true acceptance means. Prayer for the Day: I pray for true acceptance. Higher Power, help me to stay away from slippery places. I will protect the gift You've given me. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list the people and places that are risky for me to be around. I will share this list with my sponsor, my group, and my sober friends. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Like an old gold-panning prospector, you must resign yourself to digging up a lot of sand from which you will later patiently wash out a few minute particles of gold ore. --Dorothy Bryant Sometimes we feel buried in sand, blocked, clogged, unable to move. Then we must remember that we are not alone. Help is at hand, if only we will ask for it. If we invoke our higher power, our source of spiritual strength can help us to believe that there is gold somewhere in all this sand, and that the sand itself is useful. No one and no thing is good all the time. Let us remember that if we expect nothing but gold, we are distorting life, getting in our own way. We don't want to falsify the texture of our lives; the homespun quality helps us to appreciate the gold when it appears. I will find some gold among the sand, today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. Let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else. p. 96 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. When I reached the Ninth Step, I began to hesitate in my enthusiasm. One morning I woke up covered in sweat and could not get over a nightmare I had--that this was my last day of sobriety. After calling friends and my sponsor, I knew what had to be done. I spent the entire day, more than eight or nine hours, going into people's offices and making my amends. Some were thrilled to see me. One woman called the police. When they arrived, it turned out the policeman was in A.A. and he convinced the woman not to press charges. I even ran into someone who I had thought was dead, so I took a "dead guy" to lunch and made my amends to him also. For the first time I thought, and actually felt, as if I was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, with something to share at meetings. pp. 491-492 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Upon entering A.A., these attitudes were sharply reversed, often going much too far in the opposite direction. The spectacle of years of waste threw us into panic. There simply wouldn't be time, we thought, to rebuild our shattered fortunes. How could we ever take care of those awful debts, possess a decent home, educate the kids, and set something by for old age? Financial importance was no longer our principal aim; we now clamored for material security. Even when we were well reestablished in our business, these terrible fears often continued to haunt us. This made us misers and penny pinchers all over again. Complete financial security we must have--or else. We forgot that most alcoholics in A.A. have an earning power considerably above average; we forgot the immense goodwill of our brother A.A.'s who were only too eager to help us to better jobs when we deserved them; we forgot the actual or potential financial insecurity of every human being in the world. And, worst of all, we forgot God. In money matters we had faith only in ourselves, and not too much of that. pp. 120-121 ************************************************** ********* Serenity isn't freedom from the storm; it is peace within the storm. --unknown The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. --Buddha (B.C. 568-488) "The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes." --Amy Grant Envy shoots at others and wounds herself. --Costa Rican Proverb If you dig a grave for others, you might fall into it yourself. --Irish Proverb I embrace the beauty of life, and depend deeply upon God. --Shelley ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ISOLATION "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main." -- John Donne For years I thought that I was alone; lost isolated and afraid. Today I understand this to be a symptom of my alcoholism, an aspect of my disease. Alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful"; it is a mystery that we have only begun to understand. One thing we know, the disease, the "ism" of alcoholism, involves more than the act of drinking. Feelings of inadequacy, isolation and fear keep us from recovering until we discover the spiritual strength to confront the disease in our lives. The initial risk of "letting go" and trusting others is an essential part of the recovery process. When we discover that we are not alone, then relationships and hope are reactivated; life is worth living again. O Lord, I believe I am part of this world and an important part of You. ************************************************** ********* "But Jesus looked at them and said, 'With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible." Mark 10:27 Therefore do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Matthew 6:34 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is good to know where you are, but better to know where you are going. Lord, may I use every day to grow closer to You. When you feel you aren't as blessed as your neighbor, consider the troubles that you have been spared. Lord, thank You for the trials that I do not have to endure. ***************************************** NA Just For Today Our Greatest Need "We eventually redefine our beliefs and understanding to the point where we see that our greatest need is for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out" Basic Text p. 46 When we first arrived in NA, we had all kinds of ideas of what we needed. Some of us set our sights on amassing personal possessions. We thought recovery equaled outward success. But recovery does not equal success. Today, we believe that our greatest need is for spiritual guidance and strength. The greatest damage done to us by our addiction was the damage done to our spirituality. Our primary motivation was dictated by our disease: to get, to use, and to find ways and means to get more. Enslaved by our overwhelming need for drugs, our lives lacked purpose and connection. We were spiritually bankrupt. Sooner or later, we realize that our greatest need in recovery is "for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out" There, we find the direction and sense of purpose our addiction had hidden from us. In our God's will we find freedom from self-will. No longer driven only by our own needs, we are free to live with others on an equal footing. There's nothing wrong with outward success. But without the spiritual connection offered by the NA program, our greatest need in recovery goes unmet, regardless of how "successful" we may be. Just for today: I will seek the fulfillment of my greatest need: a vital, guiding connection with the God of my understanding. ***************************************** You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. --Faith Baldwin Change surrounds us. It lies within us, too. The trees in the yard have changed. They've grown taller. Their leaves die and scatter on the ground in the fall. We don't resemble our baby pictures much anymore, either. Like trees, we've grown up. As babies, we couldn't walk. But we learned to run, ride bikes, go out alone to movies and parties. Some changes we don't notice while they're going on. The snow melts; the birds fly south; our hair grows a little every day. Other changes startle us. A best friend moves away. Perhaps a favorite grandparent dies. These changes we wish hadn't happened, and we have to remember that change is as natural as breathing. We can't keep it from happening, but we can trust that change never means to harm us. It's a sign we're growing up. You are reading from the book Touchstones. Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. - Ursula K. Le Guin Our relationships are alive. We don't control them and neither do the other people involved. We certainly influence our relationships - and if we are aware, we see they also have their own yeast. Whether we are talking of a love relationship with our spouse, lover, children, friends, or parents, it is a very fluid and dynamic affair. If we are actively involved with the other person and give time and nourishment to the relationship, it will grow. But if we are passive and only waiting, the relationship will grow stale. God speaks to us through other people. Our relationship with our Higher Power influences our relationships with all the people in our lives. Today we can nurture our relationships with time, tolerance, and honesty. In turn, we will be nourished. May this day be one in which I give attention to those I love. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Like an old gold-panning prospector, you must resign yourself to digging up a lot of sand from which you will later patiently wash out a few minute particles of gold ore. --Dorothy Bryant Sometimes we feel buried in sand, blocked, clogged, unable to move. Then we must remember that we are not alone. Help is at hand, if only we will ask for it. If we invoke our higher power, our source of spiritual strength can help us to believe that there is gold somewhere in all this sand, and that the sand itself is useful. No one and no thing is good all the time. Let us remember that if we expect nothing but gold, we are distorting life, getting in our own way. We don't want to falsify the texture of our lives; the homespun quality helps us to appreciate the gold when it appears. I will find some gold among the sand, today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Nurturing Self Care .. .there isn't a guidebook for setting boundaries. Each of us has our own guide inside ourselves. If we continue to work at recovery, our boundaries will develop. They will get healthy and sensitive. Our selves will tell us what we need to know,' and we'll love ourselves enough to listen. --Beyond Codependency What do we need to do to take care of ourselves? Listen to that voice inside. What makes you angry? What have you had enough of? What don't you trust? What doesn't feel right? What can't you stand? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you want? Need? What don't you want and need? What do you like? What would feel good? In recovery, we learn that self care leads us on the path to God's will and plan for our life. Self-care never leads away from our highest good; it leads toward it. Learn to nurture that voice inside. We can trust ourselves. We can take care of ourselves. We are wiser than we think. Our guide is within, ever present. Listen to, trust, and nurture that guide. Today, I will affirm that lama gift to the Universe and myself. I will remember that nurturing self care delivers that gift in its highest form. Today my body guides me to refocus and God heals me deep within as I again become strong and free. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Trust Your Heart For so long, you relied on your head. Now it’s time to make the shift– the great leap into your heart. Are you beginning to see how your head gets in the way? How it creates so much noise? The chatter, the limited vision, the fear? Are you beginning to see how what you’ve relied on– your intellect, your assessments, and sometimes your logic– has complicated your life? It isn’t the head that sees clearly, nor does the head always see with love. Often, it sees with eyes of fear. The heart sees clearly. It balances the mind and emotions. It takes what’s real and processes it into truth, then into action. It takes into account all that needs to be done, then draws a map, an itinerary, for how to accomplish that. Yes, you say, but my head does that too. And then I don’t need to feel. Your heart can do it better because it maps the way in love. Learn to listen to your inner voice. Listen to your heart. It’s your connection to God, to people, to the universe, and to yourself. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Bring your ideals to life There is a Zen story about two monks walking down a street after a heavy rain. Arriving at a corner, they came upon a beautiful girl in fine clothing unable to cross the muddy street without getting filthy. “Here, I’ll help you,” said one monk. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her to the other side. The two monks walked in silence for a long time. “We’ve sworn a vow of celibacy and are not supposed to go near women. It’s dangerous,” the second monk said to the first. “Why did you do that?” “I left the girl back at the corner,” the first monk said. “Are you still carrying her?” Sometimes, we may find ourselves in a situation where our ideals conflict. Being kind and loving to another person may conflict with our value of being committed and loving toward ourselves. When one ideal imposes on another, then use your judgement. Do the right thing by others. Do the right thing by yourself,too. Then let the incident pass and move on. For the monks in our story, right action usually meant not having contact with women. However, when encountering a stranded person on the road, right action became helping others. Ideals remain. Right thought, right action, right speech– but the path to those ideals may twist and turn throughout life. Be sensitive and aware that you are following an ideal and not a rigid belief. God, help me learn when it’s time to let go. Activity: In an earlier activity, we explored our goals and dreams list. Now, ;et’s determine the ethics and ideals we want to live by, the code of conduct we want to follow. What’s of foremost importance to you, whether or not your dreams come true and you achieve your goals? Examples of ideals may be staying clean and sober, honoring your commitments to others, and honoring your commitment to yourself. Many people choose additional spiritual values, such as compassion, honesty, tolerance. Some people choose to live by an ideal they call “Christ Consciosness,” some “Buddha consciousness,” some of the “Twelve Steps,” and some of the Ten Commandments. List your ideals, and put that list with your goals. Let these ideals be a light that guides your path and allows you to live in harmony with others and yourself. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day My addiction is three-fold in that it affects me physically, mentally and spiritually. As a chemically-dependent person, I was totally out of touch not only with myself, but with reality. Day after miserable day, like a caged animal on a treadmill, I repeated my self-destructive pattern of living. Have I begun to break away from my old ideas? Just for today, can I adjust myself to what is, rather than try to adjust everything to my own desires? Today I Pray I pray that I may not be caught up again in the downward, destructive spiral which removed me from myself and from the realities of the world around me. I pray that I may adjust to people and situations as they are instead of always trying, unsuccessfully and with endless frustration, to bend them to my own desires. Today I Will Remember I can only change myself. ***************************************** One More Day Laugh at yourself first, before anybody else can. – Elsa Maxwell A sense of humor is an essential living tool. Unfortunately, it is most difficult to keep a sense of humor when we’re under stress, and that’s the time we need it most. In the face of a crisis, we may have found it easier to be dour and nasty, even if we knew, deep in our hearts, that such an attitude was not in our best interests. Ironically, our medical problems have helped many of us cultivate a humorous attitude toward life. Making the choice between bitterness and acceptance is easier when we take ourselves less seriously. Seeing the funny side of life helps us deal with the most difficult situations life has to offer. Humor cleanses us through spontaneous laughter. It draws others to us and bonds us. I choose to see humor and lightness in my life. I will allow this attitude to brighten my life and that of those around me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time CHARACTER DEFECTS God seldom delivers virtues all wrapped in a package and ready for use. Rather He puts us in situations where by His help we can develop those virtues. C. R. Findley I have been reading and studying a lot about the 6th and 7th Steps lately. I have realized that these steps are threefold. I must first become aware of the defect of character. Next, I must accept that I own it and it no longer works for me as it once did. Lastly, I need to surrender that defect of character to my Higher Power. In the meantime, it is my job to act as if the change has already occurred. This means that I may come into contact with some seemingly obnoxious people who will mirror my character defects. I must remember that "Nothing happens in God's world by mistake," and they are here to teach me something. Maybe I am here to be the lesson for them. I may be the only example they ever see of a person trying to work and walk a spiritual path, in a 12 Step program of recovery. One Day at a Time . . . God, I ask that You continue to help me to be aware of my actions and how they affect others, and to accept and become willing to relinquish my character defects to You. ~ Jeanine ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort. - Pg. 25-26 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote In the beginning of recovery we usually don't like ourselves very well. Consequently, we usually don't like others too well either. But we can grant others this: the right to be human, the right to be wrong, and the right to be right! When people really bug me, let me let them be. Forgiveness I forgive myself for being less than perfect, that's how I will love myself and others today. Perfection is that myth that I carry around in my head to beat myself up with and to make it seem others fall short. That celluloid image against which I measure myself and come out feeling lacking, that yard stick with which I hit my own back side. Today, I will see perfection and beauty in what is. I will have an attitude of forgiveness toward myself and others for being other than what is expected. We're all just bumbling along mostly doing the best we can, sometimes worse than we should, sometimes better. Just for today, I won't get hung up on imperfection. I forgive imperfection - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote When we pray for strength, the Universe gives us difficulties to make us strong. When we pray for courage, the Universe gives us danger to overcome. When we pray for patience, the Universe gives us long lines and traffic jams. What are you praying for? I may ask for favors but the Universe gives me opportunities. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If anyone speaks badly of you, live so no one will believe it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today my body guides me to refocus and God heals me deep within as I again become strong and free. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote On a good day things are OK and I don't drink. On a great day things are lousy and I don't drink. - Anon. |
January 4
Daily Reflections BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.19 It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program. At home or at work, though, it can be a difference story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.'s Twelve Steps. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Have I admitted I am an alcoholic? Have I swallowed my pride and admitted I was different from other drinkers? Have I accepted the fact that I must spend the rest of my life without liquor? Have I any more reservations, any idea in the back of my mind that some day I'll be able to drink safely? Am I absolutely honest with myself and with other people? Have I taken an inventory of myself and admitted the wrong I have done? Have I come clean with my friends? Have I tried to make it up to them for the way I have treated them? Meditation For The Day I will believe that fundamentally all is well. Good things will happen to me. I believe that God cares for me and will provide for me. I will not try to plan ahead. I know that the way will unfold, step by step. I will leave tomorrow's burden to God, because He is the great burden-bearer. He only expects me to carry my one-day's share. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not try to carry the burden of the universe on my shoulders. I pray that I may be satisfied to do my share each day. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Can We Choose?, p. 4 We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our surroundings--that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. << << << >> >> >> "As active alcoholics, we lost our ability to choose whether we would drink. We were the victims of a compulsion which seemed to decree that we must go on with our own destruction. "Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. We came to believe that alone we were powerless over alcohol. This was surely a choice, and a most difficult one. We came to believe that a Higher Power could restore us to sanity when we became willing to practice A.A.'s Twelve Steps. "In short, we chose to 'become willing,' and no better choice did we ever make." 1. Grapevine, November 1960 2. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places God's will for us Higher Will More than one alcoholic has trouble learning and accepting God's will. This difficulty may grow out of the old belief that God's will is going to be something unpleasant or dull. "I was afraid of learning God's will, because I thought I might have to go off to Africa as a missionary," one young person said at a meeting. But God only intends what is best for us; therefore, the only real happiness and security comes from learning and carrying out God's will. God's plan is always better and greater than anything we might produce when depending solely on human reason. Our own view and understandings are limited, but God can see a breathtaking sweep of wonderful activities and opportunities for us. Most of us, by yielding to self-will, lose out in the search for real joy, true success, and genuine happiness. Our alcoholism was perhaps the best example of self-will in action. It was only when we turned to a Higher Power that we began to find the things that we had been vainly seeking in the bottle. God has brought us this far and will not fail us when we ask for guidance and understanding in other matters. I will keep in mind today that God's will for me is good, and that God gives me the power to live in peace and harmony with others. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple He who is swift to believe is swift to forget.----Abraham Joshua Herschel Life is full of questions. Many people tell us they have the answers. We have to be careful of who and what we believe. Other people's ideas may not fit us. The program doesn't tell us much about what to believe. It teaches us how to believe. How well the program works for us depends on what we believe and how well we live it. When we face all the facts, we can really believe. We believe we are powerless over our addiction. We believe we must and can change some things in our lives. We believe we can trust a Higher Power to care for us. When we choose to believe, we want to choose the best beliefs we can. And once we believe, we must not forget. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know You, and help me know the truth. Action for the Day: Today I'll think about my First Step. Do I truly believe I'm powerless over my disease? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Once I knew that I wanted to be an artist, I had made myself into one. I did not understand that wanting doesn't always lead to action. Many of the women had been raised without the sense that they could mold and shape their own lives, and so, wanting to be an artist (but without the ability to realize their wants) was, for some of them, only an idle fantasy, like wanting to go to the moon. --Judy Chicago There are probably not many of us, in this recovery program, who grappled with life as straight on as Judy Chicago did. It is likely we didn't understand that we could mold and shape our lives. How lucky we are to be learning that now with the help of the Twelve Steps and one another. Each day we are confronted with many opportunities to make responsible choices, reasonable decisions. These choices and decisions are the molders, the shapers, of who we are becoming. Our identity as women is strengthened each time we thoughtfully make a choice. The action we take through making each choice gives our identity more substance--our wholeness as women is guaranteed through these choices. Many opportunities to make choices will arise today. I can be thoughtful and make choices that will lead to my greater wholeness. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance. But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have. Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days. But be sure you use discretion. Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter. Permit that and you only harm him. You will be making it possible for him to be insincere. You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery. pp. 96-97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. When I was four years sober, I took a trip back to my home city, one of the very few times since I had left so many years before under the threat of jail time. I made amends to the man I had attempted to kill when I was fifteen years old. I visited, and made amends to, several people who had sat at that Thanksgiving dinner table and had watched me attempt suicide in front of them. I came home exhausted but knew that I had somehow done the right thing. It is probably no coincidence that the following year my old friend invited me back for Thanksgiving dinner. p. 492 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." This all meant, of course, that we were still far off balance. When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence looked more important than a right dependence upon God, we were still the victims of unreasonable fears. And these were fears which would make a serene and useful existence, at any financial level, quite impossible. p. 121 ************************************************** ********* Situations I fear are rarely as bad as the fear itself. --unknown "Growl all day and you'll feel dog tired at night." --Anonymous "Laughter is as good as jogging for our heart, lungs, and brain." --Gail Grenier Sweet If you touch, you feel. If you ask, you learn. If you look, you see. If you love, you live. --unknown People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering. --St. Augustine of Hippo The heart of AA is the act of one person giving to another. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FREEDOM "A hungry man is not a free man." -- Adlai Stevenson For years I craved food. It was my escape from reality. It stopped the pain, loneliness and anger --- for a moment. It felt good. Eventually I began to feel bad --- but I could not stop. I was addicted to sugar and sodium. My freedom was being exchanged for doughnuts! I heard a man talk about his compulsion around cocaine and gambling. I asked how he managed to abstain and he replied: "Talk about it, a day at a time!" Today I am compulsive about getting well, and I talk about my disease every day. The price of freedom is vulnerability. God is in the risk. I have taken it. God, let me experience freedom in the choices I make today. ************************************************** ********* "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and Your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving towards all He has made. Psalm 145:13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is you, not where you are or what you have, that makes the difference. Lord, may I always blossom where I am planted. Kindness can accomplish that which force won't. Lord, may I pause when I am about to react to irritations and respond as though it is You to whom I speak. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today January 4 The Love of the Fellowship "Today secure in the love of the fellowship, we can finally look another human being in the eye and be grateful for who we are." Basic Text p. 89 When we were using, few of us could tolerate looking someone in the eye-we were ashamed of who we were. Our minds were not occupied with anything decent or healthy, and we knew it. Our time, money, and energy weren't spent building loving relationships, sharing with others, or seeking to better our communities. We were trapped in a spiral of obsession and compulsion that went only in one direction: downward. In recovery, our journey down that spiral path has been cut short. But what is it that has turned us around, drawing us back upward into the open spaces of the wide, free world? The love of the fellowship has done this. In the company of other addicts, we knew we would not be rejected. By the example of other addicts, we were shown how to begin taking a positive part in the life around us. When we were unsure which way to turn, when we stumbled, when we had to correct a wrong we had done, we knew our fellow members were there to encourage us. Slowly, we've gotten the feel of our freedom. No longer are we locked up in our disease; we are free to build and grow and share along with everyone else. And when we need support to take our next step, it is there. The security we've found in the love of the fellowship has made our new lives possible. Just for today: I can look anyone in the eye without shame. I am grateful for the loving support that has made this possible. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. A tip-off to an abusive family system is a situation in which nobody ever apologizes. --Karen Shaud When we get a tip-off, we can open the door to a whole new way of looking at the world. The tip-off about apologies can help us learn to have a healthier family. It is hard to apologize, but with practice, it will get easier. We are learning that we can make mistakes, and admit them, and that other people will accept our apologies. In the same way, we are learning we can accept others' apologies. Apologies are sometimes hard to make. It helps to keep in mind that we make them as much for ourselves and our own growth as for the person we apologize to. We are not worthless just because we make mistakes, but we increase our value t o ourselves and others by being able to recognize them and apologize. You are reading from the book Touchstones. There is no method or discipline or system of any kind that can ever command the spirit to be present. --Tom Sampon A man in the process of growth and recovery asks the question, "How shall I develop a relationship with my Higher Power?" The first answer is usually, "You can decide to be open to the spiritual messages that come your way." Some experiences in life can be mastered and directed, as in performing a task or going on a trip. We can have other experiences only by being receptive. They come our way, as in the growing of a friendship or the unpredictable events on a trip. To be receptive, we must not be so busy with what we can control that we fail to notice all the experiences, which are there for us. Our senses need to be open to see what is around us and hear what is in the air. We must breathe in the beauty and pain of life. When there is a message in our experiences, let us read it and not demand it fit our narrow, logical minds. Today, I pray that I will be open to receive the spirit on its own terms. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Once I knew that I wanted to be an artist, I had made myself into one. I did not understand that wanting doesn't always lead to action. Many of the women had been raised without the sense that they could mold and shape their own lives, and so, wanting to be an artist (but without the ability to realize their wants) was, for some of them, only an idle fantasy, like wanting to go to the moon. --Judy Chicago There are probably not many of us, in this recovery program, who grappled with life as straight on as Judy Chicago did. It is likely we didn't understand that we could mold and shape our lives. How lucky we are to be learning that now with the help of the Twelve Steps and one another. Each day we are confronted with many opportunities to make responsible choices, reasonable decisions. These choices and decisions are the molders, the shapers, of who we are becoming. Our identity as women is strengthened each time we thoughtfully make a choice. The action we take through making each choice gives our identity more substance--our wholeness as women is guaranteed through these choices. Many opportunities to make choices will arise today. I can be thoughtful and make choices that will lead to my greater wholeness. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Separating from Family Issues We can draw a healthy line, a healthy boundary, between our nuclear family and ourselves. We can separate ourselves from their issues. Some of us may have family members who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs and who are not in recovery from their addiction. Some of us may have family members who have unresolved codependency issues. Family members may be addicted to misery, pain, suffering, martyrdom, and victimization. We may have family members who have unresolved abuse issues or unresolved family of origin issues. We may have family members who are addicted to work, eating, or sex. Our family may be completely enmeshed, or we may have a disconnected family in which the members have little contact. We may be like our family. We may love our family. But we are separate human beings with individual rights and issues. One of our primary rights is to begin feeling better and recovering, whether or not others in the family choose to do the same. We do not have to feel guilty about finding happiness and a life that works. And we do not have to take on our family's issues as our own to be loyal and to show we love them. Often when we begin taking care of ourselves, family members will reverberate with overt and covert attempts to pull us back into the old system and roles. We do not have to go. Their attempts to pull us back are their issues. Taking care of ourselves and becoming healthy and happy does not mean we do not love them. It means we're addressing our issues. We do not have to judge them because they have issues; nor do we have to allow them to do anything they would like to us just because they are family. We are free now, free to take care of ourselves with family members. Our freedom starts when we stop denying then issues, and politely, but assertively, hand their stuff back to them - where it belongs - and deal with our own issues. Today, I will separate myself from family members, lama separate human being, even though I belong to a unit called a family. I have a right to my own issues and growth; my family members have a right to their issues and a right to choose where and when they will deal with these issues. I can learn to detach in love from my family members and their issues. I am willing to work through all necessary feelings in order to accomplish this. This is your TIME for JOY! Know that it is here and now. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Go with What You Know The commercial on the radio sang to me as I drove across the Southern California desert. “Don’t just go with the flow. Go with what you know.” Sometimes answers come from outside us. The universe is abundant in its supply of guidance for us. It can’t wait to share its signals, teachings, lessons, and words of wisdom. It is eager to give us guidance if we just watch, wait, and listen. Sometimes this guidance comes from people we know, other times from people we barely know. But even when this help comes from those we are closest to and love most, the answer must resonate with that place deep inside us. It must resonate with our core. It must ring true for us. Listen to those around you. Listen to the guidance of the universe and all the voices it uses to speak to you. But always trust yourself. Trust your inner voice. Trust what you know, because ultimately your path will bring you back to that place. No matter what you do, if it’s not right for you, you will need to return to your center, your place of peace, and figure out the action that is right. It’s good to go with the flow. But it’s better to go with what you know– what you know to be true for you. Trusting yourself is the ultimate lesson. It’s where all the guidance leads. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Know when to compromise Sometimes compromise is important. Sometimes it’s better to give in to someone else’s wishes in order to have fun as a group or as a couple, or for the benefits of the team. Sometimes compromise is dangerous. We need to guard against compromising our standards to gain the approval or love of someone else. Decide when you can, and when you cannot compromise. If it’s not harmful and you are ambivalent about a decision, then compromise. If it could lead to breaking your values, compromise isn’t a good idea. Is it okay to have lunch with an attractive colleague if you’re married? Possibly, but not if lunch will lead to dinner, which then leads to more time spent together, culminating in an affair. Is it okay to go to the bar with friends after work? Maybe, but not if it leads to one rationalized decision after another until you have broken your commitment to stay sober. Remember that what may be an acceptable compromise for one person might not be acceptable for you. Know your limits, know your values, and be aware of the dangers that can come from compromising them. God, help me be aware of my limits. Give me the strength not to compromise the values that I need to help me on my path. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day For a good part of my life, I saw things mostly in negative terms. Everything was serious, heavy, or just plain awful. Perhaps now I can truly change my attitude, searching out the winners in The Program who have learned how to live comfortably in the real world — without numbing their brains with mood-altering chemicals. If things get rough today, can I take a quiet moment and say to myself, as the philosopher Homer once said, “Bear patiently, my heart — for you have suffered heavier things…”? Today I Pray May the peace of God that passes all human understanding fill the place within me that once harbored my despair. May an appreciation for living — even for life’s trials — cancel out my old negative attitudes in heart-heavy moments, help to remind me that my heart was once much heavier still. Today I Will Remember I, to, am a winner. ***************************************** One More Day Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. – Faith Baldwin Each stage of life brings its own gifts. Every age gives us a chance to examine where we are right now. When we were young, many of us still insisted that we could change the world. We even thought we could change people. The next stage in life may have given us the gift of seeing that we could only change ourselves. Whatever stage we are in right now is the perfect place to reassess our priorities again. It has become obvious to us by now which things we cannot change, and are busily accepting that truth. Time itself alters us and our expectations. The time we have lived has already created change, and the passing of time will create more. The alterations we make today can help us accept this stage in life as being the best place to be. Now is the time to alter my expectations of myself, to tailor them to my current needs. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time HAPPINESS Happiness is an achievement brought about by inner productiveness. People succeed at being happy by building a liking for themselves. Erich Fromm It has been said that if one of us ever treated another human being the way we treated ourselves, we would be liable for criminal charges. I did not treat myself as a friend, someone I loved; I constantly fed into my unhappiness. Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill W. was asked, shortly before he died, to sum up the program in the lowest common denominator. He replied, "Get right with yourself, with God, then with your neighbor." Therefore, it stands to reason that I must start making friends with myself. I must treat myself with love and dignity, and the result will be happiness. To be happy, joyous, and free is the by-product of obedience to the program. One Day at a Time . . . Am I going to try being happy? Am I going to make friends with myself? If not today, when? ~ Jeremiah ~ ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. - Pg. 118 - To Wives Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The reality of our illness is simple; we have it! Once we see that we have the disease of chemical dependency, then we can admit that we are addicted to whatever, and then we can accept the help we are offered. I accept my humanness and accept my non-perfection in order to accept the help of those in recovery. Today I will live in the present grateful to be alive and in this radiant world for one more day. Living in the present brings its own perspective. What is not worth getting preoccupied about falls away while what is truly meaningful and important rises up and into focus. I am here to appreciate and live life, to grow, to share my heart and soul with those around me. If I miss today, I will not get it back. If I allow it to work its beauty inside of me, it will fertilize tomorrow's garden. Today is what I know I have. All of life is here, woven into the atoms of the world that surrounds me. If I am with this day, I am with all of life. I am part of an alive universe. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Wet the bed and blame the blanket-that is the life we led. With the Twelve Steps, we learn that problems are basically of our own making. At the end of BLAME is ME. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book UFO's: Unidentified Fear Objects. Time for Joy - Book - Quote This is your TIME for JOY! Know that it is here and now. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote We have these two forces; this insatiable thirst, compulsion, hunger, yearning, call it what you will. We don't know what we're looking for but we're searching. And the other force; the escape. We're running, not knowing what from. - Eddie E. |
January 5
Daily Reflections TOTAL ACCEPTANCE He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.152 Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism - with no reservations whatsoever - and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Have I turned to a Higher Power for help? Do I believe that each man or woman I see in A.A. is a demonstration of the power of God to change a human being from a drunkard into a sober, useful citizen? Do I believe that this Higher Power can help me from drinking? Am I living one day at a time? Do I ask God to give me the power to stay sober for each twenty-four hours? Do I attend A.A. meetings regularly? Meditation For The Day I believe that God's presence brings peace and that peace, like a quiet flowing river, will cleanse all irritants away. In these quiet times, God will teach me how to rest my nerves. I will not be afraid. I will learn how to relax. When I am relaxed, God's strength will flow into me. I will be at peace. Prayer For The Day I pray for that peace which passes all understanding. I pray for that peace which the world can neither give nor take away. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Maintenance and Growth, p. 5 It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the sudden rage were not for us. Anger is the dubious luxury of normal men, but for us alcoholics it is poison. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66 Letter, 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The problem of Gossip____Breaking free from faults. Our character defects hand on tenaciously because we secretly enjoy or need them. Gossip is an example of this problem. Most of us know that gossip is mean and malicious, yet we enjoy the spurious self-satisfaction and self-importance it gives us. However, this feeling of self-satisfaction and self-importance is fleeting. When we engage in GOSSIP, we feel guilty, uneasy, and ashamed. We also know the fear of being gossiped about when our own backs are turned, because those who gossip will betray their friends. Our search for real growth in sobriety should include wiliness to part company with gossip. We also should not permit ourselves to gossip indirectly; that is, by pretending to "understand" another person to induce them to share personal information, or by introducing a subject with the intention of having gossip shared with us. We can also help ourselves by turning away from gossipy news stories and magazines. We cannot grow mentally and spiritually by reading about the misbehavior and shortcomings of others. Knowing that my true good is in keeping straight, I will go through this one day without engaging in gossip. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.--Chinese proverb. Life holds so many choices now that we are sober. We'd like to go so many places. We'd like to see so many things. We have so much to do. We are slowly learning how to trust our dreams and reach for them. Our program teaches us that we live One Day at a Time. We make progress by doing First Things First. Easy Does It. Our dreams may seem very big and far away. We wonder if we'll ever get there. But our faith tells us to go for it. And we know how: one step at a time. PRAYER: Higher Power, help me know this gentle truth: my life matters. Help me set goals that I can grow toward, one step at a time. ACTION: Today, I'll think about one of my goals. I will list ten little steps that will help me get there. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Instead of concentrating on why we can't do a thing, we would be wise to change our "Yes, but . . ." attitude to a more positive one. Saying "yes" means I really do want to change my life for the better. --Liane Cordes We truly can do these things that are our "hearts' pure desires." However, most of us look at the whole task and feel overwhelmed. We need, instead, to look at the task's many parts. One part at a time, one day at a time, we can accomplish any goal we set for ourselves. I know a recovering woman who wrote a 300-page dissertation, the final achievement to obtain her PhD. When asked at a meeting how she ever did it, her reply was, "One word at a time." That's wonderful advice. No matter how many goals were missed or plans dashed when we were still using, now that we are recovering, each of us can do whatever is in our hearts--if we do it little by little, not all at once, today. Today, I will do one small task that will contribute toward the achievement of a life goal. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. A.A., and the steps of recovery, have shown me how to look at events in a different way. I can now understand how some things, which once seemed like major disasters, turned out to be blessings. Certainly my alcoholism fits that category. I am truly a grateful alcoholic today. I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Those events that once made me feel ashamed and disgraced now allow me to share with others how to become a useful member of the human race. My physical disability has not altered that attitude; if anything it has enhanced it. Long ago I learned that no matter how uncomfortable I was physically, I felt better by getting out of myself and helping someone else. It has also helped to learn how to laugh at myself and to not take myself so seriously. I am aware that I am not the only person on this earth with problems. pp. 492-493 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." But as time passed we found that with the help of A.A.'s Twelve Steps we could lose those fears, no matter what our material prospects were. We could cheerfully perform humble labor without worrying about tomorrow. If our circumstances happened to be good, we no longer dreaded a change for the worse, for we had learned that these troubles could be turned into great values. It did not matter too much what our material condition was, but it did matter what our spiritual condition was. Money gradually became our servant and not our master. It became a means of exchanging love and service with those about us. When, with God's help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who still suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too. We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want. pp. 121-122 ************************************************** ********* "You can't brag that you're humble ... and be humble." --Terry McEwen Be still like a mountain and flow like a river. --Lao-Tze See how many people you personally can make smile today. --unknown We experience peace, not panic, when we trust the power of God. --unknown Your words can bring satisfaction, life, and death. We must take the consequences for what we say. --unknown Speak kind words and you will hear kind echoes. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CHANGE "It's the most unhappy people who most fear change." -- Mignon McLaughlin When I was drinking, I hated change. I hated things not being the same. I feared anything being different. Rarely did I want to go anywhere new. My attitudes were fixed and rigid. I resented any criticism of my behavior. The unexpected was seen as sabotage or a threat. My paranoia was extreme. Today I have decided to let go of the control, the pretense and the arrogance. I face life as it comes --- and today I do not drink. I am responsible for my life but I cannot control the world. Today I am learning to relax in the acceptance of my disease. May I always discover the courage to change the things I can. ************************************************** ********* The fruit of the light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth. Ephesians 5:9 The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145 : 14 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:2-3 "If you have faith as a mustard seed you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move." Matthew 17:20 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration People make mistakes, but seldom on purpose. Lord, may my patience with others grow and may I replace my frowns with smiles. If you want peace and goodness in your life you must be kind and loving. Lord, may I avoid creating misery so that my life will reflect my love for You. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today January 5 Recovery at Home "We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden." Basic Text p. 100 We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all. We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are? Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs." We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA. Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. We, too, the children of the earth, have our moon phases all through any year; the darkness, the delivery from darkness, the waxing and waning. --Faith Baldwin Let us think, for a moment, about the changes of the moon. In the beginning of its cycle, it is just a sliver in the darkness. Each night it grows larger until it reaches its full size. When the moon is full and rising, its orange glow fills the sky. All night its gentle light brightens everything it touches. But this fullness is only part of the life of the moon. For a while it grows smaller, then turns its dark side toward us before reappearing as a sliver and growing again to fullness. We are children of the earth, and we have our different moods and phases, too. There will be periods of darkness when we try to find our way by the light of the stars. Again and again we will grow to our full size, only to fade and grow again in a new way. You are reading from the book Touchstones. Being human is difficult. Becoming human is a lifelong process. To be truly human is a gift. --Abraham Heschel The processes of becoming more human, becoming a real person, and finding spiritual enlightenment are very similar. They require slow growth over time. We can only follow these paths in small steps, one day or one hour at a time. Many of us grew up in families with an addicted parent. We, too, went to great excesses and have been abusive to others and ourselves. Because of these problems, we developed a distorted outlook on life. Now we still demand quick and complete fixes for recovery. Our program says, "Look to this day." It is a difficult path to learn, but we only take it in small steps. There are no instant fixes for any human being. Yet, when we surrender to the reality of life, we are given the gift of true humanity. We feel like real people, we love others, and we enjoy the pleasure of true contact with them. I am grateful I can be a part of the process. Help me give up my drive to control it. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life. We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us. Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Relationships If we are unhappy without a relationship, we'll probably be unhappy with one as well. A relationship doesn't begin our life; a relationship doesn't become our life. A relationship is a continuation of life. --Beyond Codependency Relationships are the blessing and bane of recovery. Relationships are where we take our recovery show on the road. Each day, we are faced with the prospect of functioning in several different relationships. Sometimes, we choose these relationships; sometimes, we don't. The one choice we usually have in our relationships concerns our own behavior. In recovery from codependency, our goal is to behave in ways that demonstrate responsibility for us. We're learning to acknowledge our power to take care of ourselves in our relationships. We're learning to be intimate with people when possible. Do we need to detach from someone who we've been trying to control? Is there someone we need to talk to, even though what we have to say may be uncomfortable? Is there someone we've been avoiding because we're afraid to take care of ourselves with that person? Do we need to make an amend? Is there someone we need to reach out to, or show love? Recovery is not done apart from our relationships. Recovery is done by learning to own our power and to take care of ourselves in relationships. Today, I will participate in my relationships to the best of my ability. I will make myself available for closeness and sharing with people I trust. I will ask for what I need and give what feels right. Even when I have doubt I know a power greater than myself is guiding me on my path today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Life Reveal Itself to You You don’t have to strain so, trying to get your revelations. The guidance, the inspiration, the awareness you need will come to you. The way we’re living now– from the heart– is much easier than the way we lived before. Sometimes it is so natural we might not understand what’s happening. We may even be uncomfortable at first with how easy it is. We find ourselves straining to lift a heavy bowling ball, when what we have to pick up is only a Ping Pong ball. Then we wonder why it feels so light. We may question whether there’s something wrong because it feels so different. Just because your life feels lighter doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Your next step, the answer to the question you’ve been mulling about– the direction for the next stage of your growth, where you will live next, what you need to do next about work, money, or that problem you’ve been struggling with– will come. If you’re fussing and straining you may not hear it. Don’t worry about getting all your answers or your agenda for the years ahead. That is not how this process works. In order to participate in this more magical way of life, trust that all you need will be revealed to you when it is time. Relax. You’re on a journey of discovery. Let life reveal itself to you. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Move when it’s time We were touring the ruins at Hovenweep National Monument in the southwestern United States. A sign along the interpretive trail told about the Anasazi who had lived along the small, narrow canyon so long ago. The archaelogists have done their best to determine what those ancient Indians did and how they lived their lives. The signs told about the strategic positioning of the buildings perched precariously on the edge of a cliff, and questioned what had caused this ancient group to suddenly disappear long ago. “Maybe they just got tired of living here and moved,” my friend said. We laughed as we pictured a group of wise ancients sitting around a campfire one night. “You know,” says one of them. “I’m tired of this desert. Let’s move to the beach.” And in our story they did. No mystery. No aliens takiing them away. They just moved on, much like we do today. It’s easy to romanticize what we don’t know. It’s easy to assume that someone else must have a greater vision, a nobler purpose than just going to work, having a family, and living a life. People are people, and have been throughout time. Our problems aren’t new or unique. The secret to happiness is the same as it has always been. If you are unhappy with where you are, don’t be there. Yes, you may be here now, you may be learning hard lessons today, but there is no reason to stay there. If it hurts to touch the stove, don’t touch it. If you want to be someplace else, move. If you want to chase a dream, then do it. Learn your lessons where you are, but don’t close off your ability to move, and to learn new lessons someplace else. Are you happy with the path that you’re on? If not, maybe it’s time to choose a new one. There need not be a great mysterious reason. Sometimes it’s just hot and dry, and the beach is calling your name. Be where you want to be. God, give me the courage to find a path with heart. Help me move on when it’s time. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day “Vision is, I think, the ability to make good estimates,” wrote Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. “Some might feel this sort of striving to be heresy against ‘One Day At A Time.’ But that valuable principle really refers to our mental and emotional lives, and means chiefly that we are not foolishly to repine over the past nor wishfully daydream about the future.” Can i believe that “A day has a hundred pockets when one has much to put in them…”? Today I Pray I pray that the bright colors of this day may not be blurred by muted vagaries of the future or dulled by storm-gray remnants from the past. I pray that my Higher Power will help me to choose my actions and concerns out of the wealth of busyness that each day offers. Today I Will Remember I will not lose for today, If I choose for Today. ***************************************** One More Day We are never as fortunate or as unfortunate as we suppose. – La Rouchefoucauld Pain, especially continual pain, is very draining and is often one of the largest problems associated with chronic illness. In the beginning we may have reacted to our pain with anger or whining and, in doing so, came to see ourselves as victims or martyrs. That self-image made us feel helpless, powerless. Now, we’re better able to understand pain, not as a curse thrust upon us, but as our bodies’ normal function. Pain, is a signal and sometimes a warning. But pain can assist us now in better management of our illnesses by helping us regain some of our personal power and inner strength. Methods such as relaxation therapy, biofeedback, and self-hypnosis can all work on different levels to control our pain. Appropriate exercise can also be an excellent method of pain control. I will explore ways to deal with my pain. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time PERSEVERANCE “Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” . . . James 1:2 It’s always been easy for me to feel sorry for myself. My life has been difficult since I was a very young child, and early on I developed a chip on my shoulder the size of a boulder. “Surely no one has ever suffered what I suffer,” I often told myself. I used my pain and loneliness as excuses for bitterness, cynicism, arrogance, and harshness. In a twisted manifestation of my sickness, I held onto my suffering as though it were a precious testament to how “special” I was. I was actually Proud of my hardships! By doing this, I was mocking James’ instruction to consider trials of our faith as reasons to rejoice, and I was sentencing myself to years of immaturity, lack of faith, conflict, resentment, and heartache. Because I held onto my arrogant, self-defeating attitude, the trials I faced led only to more and more illnesses of my body, mind, soul, and spirit. I was a prisoner in my own mind – ignoring the fact that I held in my hand the key to my freedom. In the last six months I have been hit with more profoundly chaotic, agonizing, destructive trials of faith than I’ve encountered in the last ten years. The number, frequency, and intensity of these events did what my rational mind could not do – they brought me to my knees and led me to finally surrender my efforts to control my life. I thank God for the friends He’s given me in Recovery. Trusted Servants have prayed for me, listened to me, and encouraged me. They have shared with me their own stories of suffering and the growth they have gained through it. With God’s grace and the support of dear friends, I am learning to release my twisted hold on Suffering, and to instead cooperate with God’s work in me. As I focus my attention on the lessons He has for me, I find that even the most painful trials I face can – and will – produce perseverance and maturity, one day at a time. One day at a time ... I will choose to welcome the lessons and growth that God has for me – even when they come disguised as horrific events in my life. I will choose perseverance over bitterness. ~ Lisa ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. - Pg. 101 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote This is the greatest journey of our life. Before we lived to the dictates of that first fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort. Today we begin living to the dictates of spiritual law. It is our most difficult task. It will take everything we have and it will be worth a thousand times more then that. Take my hand God, as I understand You, and direct me in this most difficult task. Opening to the New Each new day is a gift. Today I will open the day slowly, like a present that's wrapped in hours. I will be open to what my world offers me. The world comes to greet me like an old friend each morning. My daily habits comfort and ground me. The thought of moving into my day pleases me. Life unfolds one second at a time and today I will be present to witness it. How much of my life do I let pass by unnoticed? How many of my feelings go unfelt? Today I will recognize that my time on earth is limited. I choose to value my life a day at a time and embrace it while I have it. I am open to life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'This time, like all times, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.' ~Ralph Waldo Emerson. Every thought you have can be part of a continuous prayer and everything you do can be your practice of healing. If I'm not happy today, what am I waiting for? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book It is One Day At A Time - In A Row! Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am willing to let go and let God in my life. I am getting my self-will out of the way. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote A man can be a drunk sometimes, but a drunk can't be a man. - George Jones song. |
January 6
Daily Reflections THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21 When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life depends on that one thing. Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute? Meditation For The Day I will discipline myself. I will do this disciplining now. I will turn out all useless thoughts. I know that the goodness of my life is a necessary foundation for its usefulness. I will welcome this training, for without it God cannot give me his power. I believe that this power is a mighty power when used in the right way. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may face and accept whatever discipline is necessary. I pray that I may be fit to receive God's power in my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It All or Nothing?, p. 6 Acceptance and faith are capable of producing 100 percent sobriety. In fact, they usually do; and they must, else we could have no life at all. But the moment we carry these attitudes into our emotional problems, we find that only relative results are possible. Nobody can, for example, become completely free from fear, anger and pride. Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our oldtime attitude of "all or nothing" will have to be abandoned. Grapevine, March 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Need to be Perfect____ Perfectionism. We often declare that we suffered from perfectionism while we were drinking. This did not mean that we did things perfectly or always met high standards. More likely, it meant that we had grandiose ideas of the perfect people we wanted to be, but felt deep inadequacy about our failure to meet these high standards. While we should develop good standards and values for our lives, we place an impossible demand on ourselves by wanting to be perfect in every way. What is this but a secret desire to be better than others, to occupy a superior position that will enable us to look down on others and, at the same time, to receive their approval and admiration? In some manufacturing fields, there is a useful saying that serves as a guideline for inspectors: "Good enough is best." If something is good enough for its intended purpose, it may be equal to the best. If my performance and actions this day are good enough, it maybe that they are as good as they have to be or as God wants them to be. I will not expect impossible things from myself today. I will meet reasonable standards without permitting myself to become tense or strained. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple "We."---First word of the Twelve Steps. We. This little word says a lot about the Twelve Steps. Our addiction made us lonely. The "we" of the program makes us whole again. It makes us a member of a living, growing group of people. Our addiction isolated us from others. We couldn't be honest. We felt a lot of shame. But all this is in the past. The "we" of the program helps us live outside ourselves. Now we tell each other about our pasts. We comfort each other. We try to help each other. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to join the WE of the program. Help me to admit and accept my illness, so the healing can begin. Action for the Day: Today, I'll work to make the WE of the program even stronger. I'll find someone to help. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life. We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us. Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time. It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. Through my experiences in general service, A.A. has shown me how widespread and diverse the program is. I have traveled throughout the United States and even went to Israel for several months a few years ago. While there, I attended meetings and was the secretary to a meeting located in a bomb shelter. p. 493 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Let's here take note of our improved outlook upon the problems of personal importance, power, ambition, and leadership. These were reefs upon which many of us came to shipwreck during our drinking careers. p. 122 ************************************************** ********* Do not spit into the well you may have to drink out of. --French Proverb "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have for instance." --Franklin P. Jones "Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred." --Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968) "I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but I still can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do." --Helen Keller "Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." --Henry Van Dyke ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BOREDOM "Nothing is interesting if you are not interested." -- Helen MacInnes There is a subtle distinction between the "dry" alcoholic and the "sober" alcoholic. The sober alcoholic chooses not to drink because he has accepted his alcoholism. The "dry" alcoholic is "not drinking" but is invariably angry and resentful --- and he is not expressing these feelings. His abstinence is not exciting because he is not interested in it --- he is bored. The "dry" alcoholic is also boring to be around. Why? Because he is bored. His boredom makes him boring. He really wants to drink. He has stopped drinking for reasons that do not include the acceptance of the disease; he is still a victim of the disease. Sobriety, by contrast, is an adventure into self. It greets the new day with enthusiasm and energy. Sobriety is the spiritual discovery of God in our lives. Let me always remember that my interests in life reflect my interest in You. ************************************************** ********* We are to grow up in all aspects into Him. Ephesians 4:15 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1 "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." Matthew 7:24-27 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Everyone is important; very important. Lord, help me to always treat those in my life with respect and speak with a gentle heart. Our lives should be productive and useful and we should always make a difference because we are alive. Lord, You have brought me to this new day. Work with me so that I will have a successful day with many accomplishments whether they are great or small. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today January 6 "How Does It Work?" "I used to think that I had all the answers, but today I am glad that I don't" Basic Text p. 272 What are the two favorite words of most addicts? "I know!" Unfortunately, many of us arrive in NA thinking we have all the answers. We have a lot of knowledge about what's wrong with us. But in and of itself, knowledge never helped us stay clean for any length of time. Members who have achieved long-term recovery will be the first to admit that the longer they are here, the more they have to learn. But they do know one thing: By following this simple Twelve Step program, they have been able to stay clean. They no longer ask "why"; they ask "how"? The value of endless speculation pales in comparison to the experience of addicts who've found a way to stay clean and live clean. This doesn't mean we don't ask "why" when it's appropriate. We don't come to NA and stop thinking! But in the beginning, it's often a very good idea to reword our questions. Instead of asking "why," we ask "how": How do I work this step? How often should I attend meetings? How do I stay clean? Just for today: I don't have all the answers, but I know where to find the ones that matter. Today, I will ask another addict, "How does it work?" pg. 6 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. We, too, the children of the earth, have our moon phases all through any year; the darkness, the delivery from darkness, the waxing and waning. --Faith Baldwin Let us think, for a moment, about the changes of the moon. In the beginning of its cycle, it is just a sliver in the darkness. Each night it grows larger until it reaches its full size. When the moon is full and rising, its orange glow fills the sky. All night its gentle light brightens everything it touches. But this fullness is only part of the life of the moon. For a while it grows smaller, then turns its dark side toward us before reappearing as a sliver and growing again to fullness. We are children of the earth, and we have our different moods and phases, too. There will be periods of darkness when we try to find our way by the light of the stars. Again and again we will grow to our full size, only to fade and grow again in a new way. You are reading from the book Touchstones. Being human is difficult. Becoming human is a lifelong process. To be truly human is a gift. --Abraham Heschel The processes of becoming more human, becoming a real person, and finding spiritual enlightenment are very similar. They require slow growth over time. We can only follow these paths in small steps, one day or one hour at a time. Many of us grew up in families with an addicted parent. We, too, went to great excesses and have been abusive to others and ourselves. Because of these problems, we developed a distorted outlook on life. Now we still demand quick and complete fixes for recovery. Our program says, "Look to this day." It is a difficult path to learn, but we only take it in small steps. There are no instant fixes for any human being. Yet, when we surrender to the reality of life, we are given the gift of true humanity. We feel like real people, we love others, and we enjoy the pleasure of true contact with them. I am grateful I can be a part of the process. Help me give up my drive to control it. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life. We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us. Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Relationships If we are unhappy without a relationship, we'll probably be unhappy with one as well. A relationship doesn't begin our life; a relationship doesn't become our life. A relationship is a continuation of life. --Beyond Codependency Relationships are the blessing and bane of recovery. Relationships are where we take our recovery show on the road. Each day, we are faced with the prospect of functioning in several different relationships. Sometimes, we choose these relationships; sometimes, we don't. The one choice we usually have in our relationships concerns our own behavior. In recovery from codependency, our goal is to behave in ways that demonstrate responsibility for us. We're learning to acknowledge our power to take care of ourselves in our relationships. We're learning to be intimate with people when possible. Do we need to detach from someone who we've been trying to control? Is there someone we need to talk to, even though what we have to say may be uncomfortable? Is there someone we've been avoiding because we're afraid to take care of ourselves with that person? Do we need to make an amend? Is there someone we need to reach out to, or show love? Recovery is not done apart from our relationships. Recovery is done by learning to own our power and to take care of ourselves in relationships. Today, I will participate in my relationships to the best of my ability. I will make myself available for closeness and sharing with people I trust. I will ask for what I need and give what feels right. Even when I have doubt I know a power greater than myself is guiding me on my path today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Embrace the Unknown How boring it would be if we knew everything that was going to happen. Yet we are always trying to peek around the corner and see ahead. If we knew everything that was going to happen, we wouldn’t need to experience it. There would be nothing to learn, explore, or gain. We’d stay in our heads instead of our hearts. So often, it’s the surprises of the moments and hours, the unexpected twists and turns that give meaning to our journey and make our lessons come alive. You are connected to truth. You are connected to Divine guidance. You can trust and embrace your guidance from God. That means you will get all the visions, all the guidance, all the advance knowledge and wisdom you need. Not too much to spoil the surprise. Not too much to neutralize the lesson. Just enough guidance to let you know you are never alone. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Take responsibility for your life Before you can jump out of the airplane, before you can fly solo in an airplane, before you can go on the whitewater rafting trip, before you can make a bungee jump, you have to sign a waiver. The waiver is a document that says that you realize the dangers in what you’re about to do, that you and you alone have made the decision to participate in the activity, and that you and you alone are responsible for the outcome. You sign away your right to sue, whine, complain– to do anything except risk your life for a new experience. You sign the waiver to protect others from being liable in case of an accident. I think waivers are a good reminder that ultimately no one is responsible for my life but me. There is no one to blame, no one to sue, no one to ask for a refund. I make my own decisions and I live with the results of those choices each day. So do you. It’s your life. Sign a waiver saying that you take responsibility for it. Set yourself and others free. God, help me understand the inherent powers I have. Help me take responsibility for my choices, and guide me about what decisions are best for me. Activity: Read the following waiver carefully. Fill in the blanks, and be aware of what you’re signing. It is your life, after all. Take responsibility for what you do. WAIVER I understand that during the course of my life I will be required to make many decisions, such as where I want to live, whom I want to live with, where I work, how much fun I have, and how I spend my money and time, including how much time I spend waiting for things to get better and people to change, and whom I choose to love. I understand that many events that occur will be out of my hands and that there are inherent dangers and risks in all decisions I make.Life and people have no obligation to live up to the expectations of anybody else. Life is a high-risk sport, and I may become injured along the way. I agree that all the decisions I make are mine and mine alone, including how I choose to handle the events that are beyond my control. I hereby forfeit my right to recourse as a victim, including my rights to blame, complain, and whine or hold someone else responsible for the path I choose to take. I am responsible for my for my participation– or lack of it– in life. And I take complete responsibility for the outcomes and consequences of all decisions I make, understanding that ultimately it is my choice whether I become happy, joyous, and free or stay miserable and trapped. Although people may voluntarily nurture and love me, I and I alone am responsible for taking care of and loving myself. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I finally convince myself to let go of a problem that’s been tearing me apart — when I take the action to set aside my will and let God handle the problem — my torment subsides immediately. If I continue to stay out of my own way, then solutions begin to unfold and reveal themselves. More and more, I’m coming to accept the limitations of my human understanding and power. More and more, I’m learning to let go and trust my Higher Power for the answers and the help. Do I keep in the forefront of my mind the fact that only God is all-wise and all-powerful? Today I Pray If I come across a stumbling-block, may I learn to step out of the way and let God remove it. May I realize my human limitations at problem-solving, since I can never begin to predict God’s solutions until I see them happening. May I know that whatever answer I come to, God may have a better one. Today I Will Remember God has a better answer. ***************************************** One More Day A little learning is a dangerous thing. – Alexander Pope Since childhood we’ve been told that education is the key to success, to happiness, to almost all good things in life. We gradually gain knowledge as we go through school and continue through life, and at each plateau we feel more confident. But a crisis may undermine that confidence. Problems within our families, such as alcohol or other drug abuse or a chronic illness, can sharply point out how little we really know. Our reaction differ — some of us dive into a frenzy of denial and activity, while others are immobilized by fear and uncertainty. But then we remember: Learning is the key; we don’t have to know instinctively what to do. We can turn to others who have greater knowledge. Organizations are three to give us well-qualified assistance. We want and need to learn the truth. I don’t have to have all the answers, just the right questions. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time LONELINESS Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. Mother Theresa I remember being lonely for most of my growing up years. I never had many friends and never felt I fitted in, so I buried myself in studying and became an overachiever. I also buried myself in reading novels and lived in a fantasy world, always trying to escape that terrible empty feeling inside. I could be in a crowd of people or at home with my family, and yet the feeling of loneliness was always there. I didn't realize then that this was a kind of spiritual sickness, and I began to fill the "hole in my soul" with food; I was hoping food would take away the empty feeling. It took me years and a great deal of pain to realize that no amount of food could relieve that empty lonely feeling. Keeping busy couldn't help either. It was only when the pain of the food and the destructive things I was doing to myself became greater than the pain and the loneliness that I was trying to bury under mounds of food that I was brought to my knees and found the doors of my first program meeting. Even though I wasn't sure that the program was for me at that first meeting, I knew then that I need never be alone. Other people suffered as I did and the feeling of not having to go it alone any more was very powerful. As I grow in the program and have discovered a Higher Power who is with me day and night, I have come to realize that I need never be alone. I can call on that Power at any time when I feel alone and scared. No longer do I have to feel the spiritual emptiness inside that used to drive me to food. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember to call on my Higher Power for guidance and help with my life; in that way, I need never be alone. When I follow the path that God intended me to follow in the first place, the loneliness disappears. ~ Sharon ~ ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition. A doctor said to us, 'Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic. The entire family is, to some extent, ill.' - Pg. 122 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Just for today, live in the now. It's a 24 hour program and you only have to worry about this hour. This hour you are clean and in the right place looking for and accepting help. Grant me the patience to accept this hour of abstinence without reservation. Each Day is a Day of Birth I am being continually reborn. Each day life renews itself transforming from one state to another. Flowers bloom and then their petals drop to the ground and become fertilizer for new growth. Seasons change. The sun comes up and at the end of each day it disappears for the night only to reappear bright, strong and warm the next morning. I am part of this natural and daily renewal of life. Everything I experience becomes part of my process of personal growth. I refine my learning each day, I drop what I don't need to the ground where it becomes fertilizer for tomorrow's renewal, tomorrow's rebirth, into my ever expanding sense of life. Each day gifts come and go, each day they are renewed. I am born each day into more of myself. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You can't change reality but you can change your attitude toward it. When reality messes up my fantasies, I pause and ask my Higher Power to guide my thoughts. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Be stronger at what you're doing, than your feelings are at what they're doing. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Even when I have doubt I know a power greater than myself is guiding me on my path today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I wrote my 4th Step exactly as it says in the AA Big Book. I made the columns . I wrote everybody I resented - which basically turned out to be everybody who breathed air I thought should have been mine. I wrote in the next column what they did to me - Well all my life I wanted to tell you what 'They' did to me. And in the third column, how it affected me. Well it affected my self-worth, my dignity my security... no wonder I drank! And I was having a great time until I accidentally turned the page. And hidden in the body of text it says 'Referring to our list again, we put out of our minds the wrongs others had done, and looked at what our part was.' ( Big Book Pg. 67 ) Well now it wasn't fun anymore. But I made a 4th column and looked at my part, and that was my inventory. And when I finished it I knew I belonged in Alcoholics Anonymous. I believe we all have the same story. We all acted it out a little differently but we all a have the same story. - Patti O. |
January 7
Daily Reflections AT THE TURNING POINT Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59 Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity. Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When temptation comes, as it does sometimes to all of us, I will say to myself: "No, my whole life depends on not taking that drink and nothing in the world can make me do it." Besides, I have promised that Higher Power that I wouldn't do it. I know that God doesn't want me to drink and I won't break my promise to God. I've given up my right to drink and it's not my decision any longer. Have I made the choice once and for all, so that there's no going back on it? Meditation For The Day In silence comes God's meaning to the heart. I cannot judge when it enters the heart. I can only judge by results. God's word is spoken to the secret places of my heart and, in some hour of temptation, I find that word and realize its value for the first time. when I need it, I find it there. "Thy Father, who seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly." Prayer For The Day I pray that I may see God's meaning in my life. I pray that I may gladly accept what God has to teach me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Realm Of The Spirit, p. 7 In ancient times material progress was painfully slow. The spirit of modern science inquiry, research, and invention was almost unknown. In the realm of the material, men's minds were fettered by superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas. Some of the contemporaries of Columbus thought a round earth preposterous. Others came near putting Galileo to death for his astronomical heresies. Are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material? << << << >> >> >> We have found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the realm of spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. Alcoholics Anonymous 1. p. 51 2. p. 46 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Erasing Old Tapes___Living Today The human brain works like a tape recorder. With great fidelity, this built-in recorder stores up old memories that are recalled at surprising times. There are two kinds of these "old tapes" that are dangerous to the recovering alcoholic. One dangerous old tape is a bitter memory of an unkind word or cruel action that hurt us deeply. This kind of memory comes back to destroy our peace of mind or to intensify feelings of low self-esteem. Equally dangerous is another old tape: the recollections of a drinking experience that may have seem enjoyable. When we run an old tape of this kind, we are revealing that we still wish we could drink. Our recovery shows us how to erase these old tapes. Forgiving the people who hurt us can erase bitter memories and resentments. We can eliminate the desire to relive pleasure in drinking experiences by looking honestly at the total effect of alcohol on our lives. We cannot relive the past, but we can use the lessons of the past to make our lives what they can be today. Today, I will not be troubled by anything from the past. I cannot change what happened five minutes ago, but I can refuse to entertain thoughts that will harm me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.---E.W. Howe Do you let yourself be afraid of your illness? Many of us were scared into sobriety. Often, a spiritual awakening directly follows a good scare. Fear seems to improve our vision. Are you smart enough to run from your addiction? The First Step should create fear inside us. It's about looking honestly at our addiction and what would happen to us if we kept using. Looking at Step One regularly will give us the respectful fear we need to stay sober. Often fear is seen as bad, but it can be good, if we listen to it. It can be a great mover. When you're afraid, your spirit is trying to tell you something. Prayer for the Day: God, direct my fear. Have me go to You, family, friends, and others who love me. Help me see my fear and listen to it's message. Action for the Day: I'll list five ways that my fear has taught me important lessons. I'll see that my fear can help me as long as I listen to it and not live it. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention to one another's existence. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh We all want to matter to others. Very often in the past and sometimes in the present, our behavior screams for the attention we seek from others. Perhaps, instead of trying to get attention, we ought to give it. The program tells us we have to give it away in order to keep it. Wisdom of the ages also dictates that in life there are no accidents. Those people close to us and those just passing through our lives have reason to be there. Giving attention to another's humanity is our calling. I will fully attend to another person I have occasion to be with today. She will matter to me, and my attention will matter to her. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. You should continue to be friendly to them. The family should be offered your way of life. Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much better change that the head of the family will recover. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable. p. 97 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. Like everyone else I have good days and bad days. Unlike my attitude while I was still drinking, however, I rarely dread what is going to happen to me today. I have even had the chance to see my father come into A.A. We have been to numerous A.A. conventions together and have shared more with each other in the past few years than we ever had before. I think we are both at peace with our pasts and comfortable with the present. p. 493 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Practically every boy in the United States dreams of becoming our President. He wants to be his country's number one man. As he gets older and sees the impossibility of this, he can smile good-naturedly at his childhood dream. In later life he finds that real happiness is not to be found in just trying to be a number one man, or even a first-rater in the heartbreaking struggle for money, romance, or self-importance. He learns that he can be content as long as he plays well whatever cards life deals him. He's still ambitious, but not absurdly so, because he can now see and accept actual reality. He's willing to stay right size. p. 122 ************************************************** ********* Progress, of the best kind, is comparatively slow. Great results cannot be achieved at once; and we must be satisfied to advance in life as we walk, step by step. --Samuel Smiles Expectation is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses today. --Seneca "The more you teach positive ideas to others, the better you learn them yourself." --Brian Tracy Laughter is the sound of recovery. --unknown C A R D S = Call your sponsor, Ask for help from your Higher Power, Read the Big Book, Do the Twelve Steps, Stay active in your group. --unknown A recovering alcoholic without a sponsor is much like a ship without a rudder. --unknown SPONSOR = Sober Person Offering Newcomer Support Of Recovery. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GOD "I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God." -- Carl Jung God is beyond our comprehension, and in a sense we are all agnostics --- none of us KNOW know; uncertainty is part of faith. However, there are "moments" when God is alive and vivid in new and stimulating experiences that are beyond explanation other than --- "that's God". Loving relationships, friendships, the beauty of nature, the complexities of life and the universe; not to mention music, poetry and the conscience of man: all speak of God. History is full of holy men who carry the message: God is love and He is to be God, known and yet incomprehensible, help me to discover You in my doubts and confusions. ************************************************** ********* "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved." John 3:17 "My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places." Isaiah 32:18 See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God. 1 John 3:1 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself. Philippians 2:3 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When you act out of love and selfless concern, you are doing that which is right. Lord, I am Your servant in my daily life. Never make the mistake of taking more credit than is due or less credit than you are worth. Lord, You have created me in Your image. Therefore, I am goodness and with You can accomplish great things. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today January 7 "Recovery" "Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is more than just a life without drugs. Not only is this way of life better than the hell we lived, it is better than any life that we have ever known." Basic Text p. 103 Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others. We had none of the things that give life its sense and value. We took drugs in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness inside ourselves. Most of us wouldn't want to "recover" what we used to have. Ultimately, the recovery we find in NA is something different: a chance at a new life. We've been given tools to clear the wreckage from our lives. We have been given support in courageously setting forth on a new path. And we've been given the gift of conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, providing us with the inner strength and direction we so sorely lacked in the past. Recovering? Yes, in every way. We're recovering a whole new life, better than anything we ever dreamed possible. We are grateful. Just for today: I've recovered something I never had, something I never imagined possible: the life of a recovering addict. Thank you, Higher Power, in more than words can say. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. To affect the quality of the day--that is the highest of the arts. --Henry David Thoreau We are the sculptors of our day. We can mold it creatively into a wonderful masterpiece. We control the amount of moisture we mix into our clay. We pound it, shape it, stroke it, love it. Others can offer suggestions, and we gain new perspectives from their advice, but it is finally our own creation. Our knife may occasionally slip, or our mixture of earth may be too dry. Any great artist suffers temporary setbacks. Besides, imperfections in art often make it all the more interesting. How creative can I be in my life today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. To be happy one must risk unhappiness; to live fully one must risk death and accept its ultimate decision. --Judd Manner All of us, in confronting our powerlessness, have felt the truth of this paradox. If we truly admitted how far out of control our drinking was, would we be able to survive without alcohol? If we stopped caretaking, would we have any place in our relationships? If we let go of our food obsessions, would there be any pleasure left in life? Yet, we can see much of our behavior was destroying us. We had to let go of it to begin learning a better way of living. We can face our powerlessness in very specific ways. Let us look at today's concerns as spiritual issues with lessons for us. Does an opportunity seem like a problem because of the risk involved? Are we frustrated because we cannot accept the limits of our control? We will face our powerlessness today in ways we cannot fully anticipate. When we are honest with ourselves and face it directly, we can take the risk of letting go. Let me not be so tied to what I have or to what I want that I cannot lean on God's love and take a risk for growth. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention to one another's existence. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh We all want to matter to others. Very often in the past and sometimes in the present, our behavior screams for the attention we seek from others. Perhaps, instead of trying to get attention, we ought to give it. The program tells us we have to give it away in order to keep it. Wisdom of the ages also dictates that in life there are no accidents. Those people close to us and those just passing through our lives have reason to be there. Giving attention to another's humanity is our calling. I will fully attend to another person I have occasion to be with today. She will matter to me, and my attention will matter to her. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Dealing with Painful Feelings Feelings of hurt or anger can be some of the most difficult to face. We can feel so vulnerable, frightened, and powerless when these feelings appear. And these feelings may trigger memories of other, similar times when we felt powerless. Sometimes, to gain a sense of control, we may punish the people around us, whether they are people we blame for these feelings or innocent bystanders. We may try to "get even," or we may manipulate behind people's backs to gain a sense of power over the situation. These actions may give us a temporary feeling of satisfaction, but they only postpone facing our pain. Feeling hurt does not have to be so frightening. We do not have to work so hard to avoid it. While hurt feelings aren't as much fun as feeling happy/ they are, still, just feelings. We can surrender to them, feel them, and go on. That does not mean we have to seek out hurt feelings or dwell unnecessarily on them. Emotional pain does not have to devastate us. We can sit still, feel the pain, figure out if there's something we need to do to take care of ourselves, and then go on with our life. We do not have to act in haste; we do not have to punish others to get control over our feelings. We can begin sharing our hurt feelings with others. That brings relief and often healing to them and to us. Eventually, we learn the lesson that real power comes from allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel hurt. Real power comes from knowing we can take care of ourselves, even when we feel emotional pain. Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings. Today, I will surrender to my feelings, even the emotionally painful ones. Instead of acting in haste, or attempting to punish someone, I will be vulnerable enough to feel my feelings. I am worthy of positive changes today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Remember to Be Happy The sign hangs on the wall of a bagel shop: “Don’t forget to be happy.” Sometimes we get so bogged down in dealing with feelings, issues, problems– the realities and details of our lives– we forget to be happy. Often happiness can be ours if we just remember to be happy. Joy is a choice– a deliberate, conscious choice. That choice is available to us each day. Our joy isn’t controlled by others or by outward circumstances. Joy comes from a deeper place, a place of security within ourselves. It’s an attitude, not a transitory emotion. Remember to be kind. Remember to be loving. Remember to feel all your feelings and to take care of yourself. But most of all, remember to be happy. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Save your life in a journal Are you saving your life by writing about it in a journal? Sometimes I use a file in my computer for my journal. If I’m rambling, ranting, or raving– writing something that could embarrass me if seen– I lock the file with a code. My words in my journal, whether it’s in a computer or a green Italian notebook, are meant for only for me. There are many ways to write in a journal. We can go on and on about whatever comes to us. That’s helpful, especially if we’re stuck. We can use our journal as a record, writing down what we did that day. It’s a good place to write our goals and to explore our fantasies and dreams. We can write poems or short stories. We can write letters to God or our Guardian Angel, asking for advice. Or we can just say what happened each day, and then write how it feels. People may think there’s a right and wrong way to write in a journal, but I don’t agree. There aren’t any rules about journals. It’s just a way to record and save our lives. Do you think your life is worth saving? I do. If you’ve been neglecting to do that, ask yourself “why.” God, help me be aware of and respect the details of my life. Activity: Transfer your goal list to a journal, and begin writing your responses to the meditations and the activities as part of your journal entry for each day. Use your journal as a logbook, to record what you’re doing and whom you’re doing it with as you pursue your dreams. Or use it as a way of exploring how you feel, who you are, and what you want to do. Save your life in whatever way makes sense to you. ***************************************** A Day At A Time January 7 Reflection For The Day I’m beginning to see just how unnatural my old life actually was, and that it became increasingly unnatural as my illness progressed. The longer I’m in The Program, the more natural this new way of life seems. At first, it was impossible for me to extend my hand to a newcomer; such an act was wholly unnatural for me. But it is becoming increasingly easier for me to reach out to another person. Sharing my experience, strength and hope is becoming a natural part of daily living. Have I learned that I can’t keep what I’ve gotten unless I “give it away?” Will I take the time to share today? Today I Pray May I share my live, my joy, my happiness, my time, my hospitality, my knowledge of things on earth and my faith in a Higher Power. Even though I may not see the results of my acts of sharing, may I take joy in the acts themselves. May sharing, according to God’s plan, become as natural to me as speaking or breathing. Today I Will Remember Be never sparing in caring or sharing. ***************************************** One More Day January 7 All human wisdom is summed up in two words: wait and hope. – Alexandre Dumas As children, the only waiting and hoping we did was short-term. We waited for the holidays. We hoped our parents wouldn’t find out we got the carpet dirty. Once a chronic medical problem is diagnosed, we become masters at the art of waiting and hoping. Waiting to see if the new medication helps. Hoping for a remission or cure. We learn that in order to adjust we must help ourselves. One way we can help ourselves is to get in touch with one of the many self-help groups. These groups can offer us a sense of continuity, or inner strength, of hope for better times again. With deepened faith in ourselves and in our abilities, we discover a sense of inner peace. Hope renews me and lets me face each day with the best possible attitude. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time ~ FEELING OVERWHELMED ~ The social workers have named a new syndrome. It's called "compassion fatigue." Why does it sound so familiar? Anne Wilson Schaef For most of my life I have always cared for others, and have always been in the caring professions. I didn't think that was a bad thing until I was brought to my knees and arrived at my first program meeting. One of the character defects that I found I had was people pleasing. Because I was always trying to help and fix others, I also knew that I had a problem with control and lack of acceptance. One of the things I am learning in the program is that, because for so many years I had hidden my emotions in food, there are still many layers of the onion that I haven't even begun to peel away. The amazing thing is that it is only when I reach a rock bottom of some sort that I am forced to look deeper at many issues that I have blocked for years. What I realize now is that I have spent so many years of my life taking care of others that I have forgotten to take care of me. No wonder I feel so overwhelmed! I'm a compulsive caregiver, but in doing that, I have often neglected to see to my own needs. I am so grateful that I have become open to looking further into why I have always put others' needs before mine, and to being able to detach with love from many issues over which I am powerless, so that I can take better care of me. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember that in order to be able to care for and love others, I must first learn to care for and love myself. ~ Sharon S. ~ ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote To show other alcoholics PRECISELY HOW WE HAVE RECOVERED is the main purpose of this book. - Pg. xiii - 4th. Edition - Forward To The First Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Abstinence, honesty, and the willingness 'to turn it over' are the only ways to fight the Four Horsemen of mind-affecting chemicals: Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, and Despair. Let me know that the battle is no longer mine if I practice the Third Step to the best of my ability. Gathering Wisdom I am on a spiritual journey. And on this journey I am my own best pilot and my own best philosopher. No one knows me as I know me and no one can synthesize all of the information that I receive each day into a coherent picture of my life as well as I can. If I don't take charge of my journey, no one else will, no one else can. God has given me to me to take care of. I have been put in charge of my own self. I am the one who steers me through my day, who makes a myriad of tiny decisions that add up to a life. I am the eyes and ears behind each hour. I am the choice maker. My life is up to me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Are you going to let tough times make you bitter or make you better? I embrace 'tough' times because I get to practice my principles. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book To an addict/alcoholic, if one is good, one in every color is better. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am worthy of positive changes today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote In sobriety, I ended up playing golf alone.. and cheating. - Craig S. |
January 8
Daily Reflections DO I HAVE A CHOICE? The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called willpower becomes practically nonexistent. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.24 My powerlessness over alcohol does not cease when I quit drinking. In sobriety I still have no choice - I can't drink. The choice I do have is to pick up and use the "kit of spiritual tools" (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 25). When I do that, my Higher Power relieves me of my lack of choice - and keeps me sober one more day. If I could choose not to pick up a drink today, where then would be my need for A.A. or a Higher Power? ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Everyone who comes into A.A. knows from bitter experience that he or she can't drink. I know that drinking has been the cause of all my major troubles or has made them worse. Now that I have found a way out, I will hang on to A.A. with both hands. Saint Paul once said that nothing in the world, neither powers nor principles, life nor death, could separate him from the love of God. Once I have given my drink problem to God, should anything in the world separate me from my sobriety? Meditation For The Day I know that my new life will not be immune from difficulties, but I will have peace even in difficulties. I know that serenity is the result of faithful, trusting acceptance of God's will, even in the midst of difficulties. Saint Paul said: "Our light afflictions, which are but for a moment, work for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." Prayer For The Day I pray that I may welcome difficulties. I pray that they may test my strength and build my character. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It A New Life, p. 8 Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. As it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life--the one that did not work--for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever. Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy, regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself, a new life of endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our awakening, through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. Grapevine, December 1957 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Finding New Values____Restoration Recovering alcoholics sometimes waste time and energy brooding over lost opportunities, and we do have a record of many lost opportunities! Bill W., the co-founder of AA, once made it big on Wall Street before crashing in the 1929 cataclysm. He later drank away two wonderful chances for a comeback. Most of us can recall similar opportunities we lost by drinking. We can eliminate these regrets by practicing gratitude for the recovery we have made. Without rationalizing, we can remind ourselves that few opportunities would have benefited us if we had continued to drink. We can take comfort, too, in the clear evidence that there's a wonderful restoration going on in our lives. While not every one gets aback a lost job or rebuilds a business, manly of us do find sufficient prosperity and productive work in our new lives. Some even find satisfying second careers or businesses after getting sober. Best of all, most recovering people discover that sobriety gives them the ability to appreciate their opportunities without worshipping material success. I will make the best of my opportunities today and see them as stepping stones toward a more abundant life. I will not regret the past, because it brought necessary lessons. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light, even though for the moment you do not see...Bill W. At times, we'll go through pain and hardship, At times, we'll have doubts. At times, we'll get angry and think we just don't care anymore. These things can spiritually blind us. But this normal. Hopefully, we'll be ready for those times. Hopefully, we will have friends who will be there for you. Thank God for these moments! Yes, hard times can make our spirits deep and strong. These moments tell us who we are as sober people. These moments help us grow and change. Spirituality is about choice. To be spiritual, we must turn ourselves over to the care of our Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: God, help me find You in my moments of blindness. This is when I really need You. Action for the Day: Today I'll get ready for the hard times ahead. I will list my friends who will be there for me. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning When people make changes in their lives in a certain area, they may start by changing the way they talk bout that subject, how they act about it, their attitude toward it, or an underlying decision concerning it. --Jean Illsley Clarke Acting "as if" is powerful. It leads the way to a changed attitude, a changed woman. If we are self-conscious in crowds and fearful about meeting new people and yet act poised and extend our hands in friendship, we'll not only behave in a new way, but feel good about it, too. Each act we take in this way brings us closer to the woman we are behaving like. Each positive change we make builds our self-esteem. Realizing that through our own actions we are becoming the kind of women we admire gives us the strength, in fact, encourages the excitement in us that's needed to keep changing. Making positive changes in our lives is the stuff that comprises self-esteem. Each gain makes the next one easier to attempt. I will accept an opportunity today to act "as if" I can handle a situation I used to run from. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is need or wanted. The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track. Yet we do go to great extremes to provide each other with these very things, when such action is warranted. This may seem inconsistent, but we think it is not. pp. 97-98 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. In the past several years I have gone back to school and begun a new career. As I roll around in my wheelchair, I am amazed when I realized that I honestly cannot imagine life to be anything different than what it has been--and that is just fine with me. The tools of sobriety and recovery in A.A. are there for me to use in all aspects of my life, and all I ever need is the willingness to do what is in front of me. I am grateful that a drunk like me was fortunate enough to live until I arrived in Alcoholics Anonymous. p. 493 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." But not so with alcoholics. When A.A. was quite young, a number of eminent psychologists and doctors made an exhaustive study of a good-sized group of so-called problem drinkers. The doctors weren't trying to find how different we were from one another; they sought to find whatever personality traits, if any, this group of alcoholics had in common. They finally came up with a conclusion that shocked the A.A. members of that time. These distinguished men had the nerve to say that most of the alcoholics under investigation were still childish, emotionally sensitive, and grandiose. pp. 122-123 ************************************************** ********* Dig within. There lies the wellspring of good: Ever dig and it will ever flow. --Marcus Aurelius What are you going through in your life right now? Don't feel you're the only one. Open your eyes. Open your heart to your connections with your larger family. Let them share their stories with you. Let them share their strengths, hopes, fears, and joys. Stop looking for what's different and what makes you separate and apart. Go on an adventure of discovering your common bonds. --Melody Beattie "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." --Mother Theresa "Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. Don't miss it." --Leo Buscaglia "Any fool can try to defend his mistakes--and most fools do--but it gives one a feeling of nobility to admit one's mistakes. By fighting, you never get enough, but by yielding, you get more than you expected." --Lawrence G. Lovasik ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation MUSIC "I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it." -- Igor Stravinsky It is okay not to "understand". A miracle is not to be understood but experienced. So much in life we will never understand and there is growth in confusion. We are not perfect. We will never be perfect. The mystery of life is exactly that --- a mystery. As an alcoholic I often sought to appear "as God". I had to have an answer for everything, even if I made up the answer! Not to know was humiliating for me because it took away control, my need to be in charge, my hopeless and exhausting quest for perfection. With the failure to be perfect came the guilt, shame and anger. Today I am able to live with life's daily confusions --- and it's okay! ************************************************** ********* The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving to all that He has made. Psalm 145:17 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1 I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Job 19:25 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Smooth seas don't make skillful sailors. Lord, teach me as I am able to learn so that I may grow from my difficulties and become the person You intended. Know that you can do even if things are not always easy. Lord, in You I have the support of an unlimited power source and can accomplish great things because You strengthen me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Growing Up "Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth." Basic Text p. 43 When our members celebrate their recovery anniversaries, they often say that they've "grown up" in NA. Well, then, we think, what does that mean? We start to wonder if we're grown-ups yet. We check our lives and yes, all the trappings of adulthood are there: the checkbook, the children, the job, the responsibilities. On the inside, though, we often feel like children. We're still confused by life much of the time. We don't always know how to act. We sometimes wonder whether we're really grown-ups at all, or whether we're children who've somehow been put into adult bodies and given adult responsibilities. Growth is not best measured by physical age or levels of responsibility. Our best measure of growth is our spiritual condition, the basis of our recovery. If we're still depending on people, places, and things to provide our inner satisfaction, like a child depending on its parents for everything, we do indeed have some growing to do. But if we stand secure on the foundation of our spiritual condition, considering its maintenance our most important responsibility, we can claim maturity. Upon that foundation, our opportunities for growth are limitless. Just for today: The measure of my maturity is the extent to which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Deep in their roots all flowers keep the light. --Theodore Roethke All flowers begin with the potential to grow and blossom. Yet in winter, perennial flowers are buried under the snow. Inside the dark earth, they are patiently waiting for their time to bloom. For the flowers, faith is believing that spring will return. It is carrying the light of summer deep in their roots so that even in times of cold and dark, there is hope that they will bloom again. When spring does return, they shoot out of the ground and burst into blossom. In times of light, they drink it deep into their roots--deep enough to sustain them through the next season of darkness. We can do the same, keeping the memory of good times deep within us, so that when we're feeling low, it will keep our faith in the happy future strong. What helps sustain my faith today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. In wildness is the preservation of the world. --Henry David. Thoreau Nature confronts us with its beauty in a flower or a furry animal. The awesomeness of nature is in a lightning bolt or a majestic mountain. Every variety of tree has its own uniquely textured bark. Each annual ring in a tree trunk is a natural record of the growing conditions in each year it grew. These things remind us we are not in charge, and we are moved by the experience. This wildness is everywhere around us, and we are renewed by it when we interact with it. At night, in the city, we look up and see the ancient moon. When we live with a pet, it reminds us we are creatures too. We are part of this larger whole. We don't just appreciate nature - we are nature. When we open our eyes and learn to be a part of it, it renews and lifts our spirits. Today, I will notice my relationship with the sun and moon, with the plants and animals in my world. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. When people make changes in their lives in a certain area, they may start by changing the way they talk bout that subject, how they act about it, their attitude toward it, or an underlying decision concerning it. --Jean Illsley Clarke Acting "as if" is powerful. It leads the way to a changed attitude, a changed woman. If we are self-conscious in crowds and fearful about meeting new people and yet act poised and extend our hands in friendship, we'll not only behave in a new way, but feel good about it, too. Each act we take in this way brings us closer to the woman we are behaving like. Each positive change we make builds our self-esteem. Realizing that through our own actions we are becoming the kind of women we admire gives us the strength, in fact, encourages the excitement in us that's needed to keep changing. Making positive changes in our lives is the stuff that comprises self-esteem. Each gain makes the next one easier to attempt. I will accept an opportunity today to act "as if" I can handle a situation I used to run from. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Vulnerability Some of us may have made a decision that no one was ever going to hurt us again. We may automatically go on "feelings freeze mode" when faced with emotional pain. Or, we may terminate a relationship the first time we feel hurt. Hurt feelings are a part of life, relationships, and recovery. It is understandable that we don't want to feel any more pain. Many of us have had more than our share, hi fact, at some time in our life, we may have been overwhelmed, crushed, or stopped in our tracks by the amount of pain we felt. We may not have had the resources to cope with our pain or take care of ourselves. That was yesterday. Today, we don't have to be so frightened of pain. It does not have to overwhelm us. We are becoming strong enough to deal with hurt feelings. And we don't have to become martyrs, claiming that hurt feelings and suffering are all there is to life. We need only allow ourselves to feel vulnerable enough to feel hurt, when that's appropriate, and take responsibility for our feelings, behaviors, and what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We don't have to analyze or justify our feelings. We need to feel them, and try not to let them control our behavior. Maybe our pain is showing us we need to set a boundary; maybe it's showing us we're going in a wrong direction; maybe it's triggering a deep healing process. It's okay to feel hurt; it's okay to cry; it's okay to heal; it's okay to move on to the next feeling, when it's time. Our willingness and capacity to feel joy will eventually match our willingness and capacity to feel hurt. Being in recovery does not mean immunity from pain; it means learning to take loving care of ourselves when we are in pain. Today, I will not strike out at those who cause me pain. I will feel my emotions and take responsibility for them. I will accept hurt feelings as part of being in relationships. lam willing to surrender to the pain as well as the joy in life. I do not need to know anything about this day beyond this moment. This moment is perfect....... just as it is I can handle anything in this moment. My Higher Power gives me all the strength I need today to handle whatever comes up in this moment. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Love Yourself Until It’s Real What does it mean to love yourself? To do nice things for and to yourself? Yes, sometimes. But self-love runs deeper than that. Self-love means loving and accepting yourself, your thoughts, beauty, emotions, your faults, imperfections, and flaws, your strengths, wit, wisdom, as well as your peculiar and unique way of seeing the world… Loving yourself means accepting and loving each and every part of you, and knowing– knowing– that you’re worthy, valuable, and lovable. It means loving and accepting yourself when you’re surrounded by people who love you, and during those times when you think everyone’s gone away, when you wonder if God’s gone away,too. During one of the darkest parts of my life, Al Franken, a comedian and producer, asked me to write an introduction to the book he was writing– Stewart Smalley’s daily meditation book. I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me. I wasn’t able to do much during that time in my life, except walk to my fax machine and tear off the curled up pages. I’d take the pages back to my bed, lie down (because I felt too shattered to stand) and read them. I’d laugh a little at Stewarts outrageous behavior. But the pages made me smile about something else,too. Despite our search for sophisticated, sage advice and advanced learning, sometimes it helps to remember the simple wisdom of bumbling Stewart Smalley. Sometimes, loving ourselves means accepting ourselves enough to tell ourselves other people like and approve of us. Sometimes, loving ourselves means approving of ourselves, even when they don’t. It takes courage to stop cowering and openly love, accept, and approve of ourselves. Don’t just say the words. Love yourself until you experience that love. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Letting go to save our lives I crouched in the doorway of the airplane, next to my skydiving coach. I held on to the doorway with my right hand for balance. With my left hand, I firmly grasped my coach’s gripper, a padded piece of cloth on his jumpsuit. It was up to me to give the count. “Ready,” I hollered. “Set…” I backed up and took another breath. “Ready, set…” I heard a snicker. “Get out of the plane,” someone hollered. “Go.” I released my grip on the door, closed my eyes, and dived headfirst into the air– with my left hand firmly attached to my jump master’s gripper. We wobbled around for a moment. The plan was, we would turn to face each other in the air, I would grab his other shoulder grip, get my balance, then I’d release him. He turned to face me. I grabbed his other grip. Now I was falling stable and holding on with both hands. He nodded, giving me my cue to let go. I shook my head, carefully, so as not to lose my balance. He looked confused, then nodded again. I shook my head again, clinging more tightly. I looked at my altimeter. Six thousand feet. Thank God. It was almost time to pull. I released my grips. I just let go. Obviously, I couldn’t safely pull my rip cord while I was hanging on to him. It was time to save my own life. My coach backed away. I signaled, then pulled my rip cord. My parachute made that sweet whooshing sound, the one I had come to identify as the sound it makes when it opens correctly and fills with air, slowing my fall into a float. Wow! I thought. This is really fun! Sometimes we’re so scared, all we can think to do is hang on. Hanging on in this case was a silly illusion. We we’re both falling through the air. Holding on to a relationship that’s not working, a negative self-image, a job that isn’t working, moments and times that have passed, or emotions such as fear and hurt can be a silly illusion,too. To save our own lives, sometimes we have to let go first. God, show me what I need to let go of, and when it’s time to do that. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Today is the day for which I asked and for which I have been given strength. That in itself is a miracle. In my old life, I constantly endangered myself as well as countless others. So the very fact that I am alive is the great miracle from which all other miracles will flow, providing I continue to do the things that have brought me this far in my new life. Am I grateful that I have been given this day? Today I Pray May God’s goodness and mercy follow me all the days of my life. May I never cease to wonder at thee greatest miracle in my life — that I am alive, here, on the green earth, and growing healthier with the life preserving tools I have been given. Since God has chosen to give me life and to preserve my life, even through the dangers of addiction, may I always continue to listen for His plan for me. May I always believe in miracles. Today I Will Remember My life is a Miracle. ***************************************** One More Day Along with success comes a reputation for wisdom. -Euripides Our definition of success varies as we move through stages of life. While we once may have dreamed of a large lake home and a large salary, we may have settled for a modest home and salary. As we reevaluated our goals, we become aware that we have succeeded in our own way. Success, for us, might mean we have many friends. Or that our children have become worthwhile citizens. We may feel successful largely because we have learned to accept ourselves — the total package of strengths and weaknesses. We set and reset out goals throughout a lifetime, and our successes are measured, not by specific deeds or accumulations of cash, but by how well we set our goals and how faithful we are to them. I’ll look again at my values and goals to be sure they leave me room for success. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time RESENTMENT "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind." Buddha It was not until I came into the program that I learned that resentment is just another name for anger. There are some areas in which letting go of resentment is not so easy, especially when dealing with hurtful words. Word wounds have a tendency to fester. The program shows me how to approach someone and make amends to them for saying something hurtful. That can be extremely healing. Unfortunately, there is no step in the program which makes provisions for others to make amends to me when my feelings are hurt. I have learned something that has helped: telling others how I feel when my feelings are hurt. Instead of internalizing my feelings, I am beginning to speak up and ask, “Why did you say that? I felt hurt when you said that.” Doing this releases the negativity and turns it into a positive action for me. Rather than just reacting to a bad situation, I am taking positive action. When I begin to take positive action, I find myself surrounded with positive influences and I am letting go of those friendships which are unhealthy. One day at a time... I will take positive action and surround myself with positive influences. ~ Marilyn S. ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem. - Pg. 35 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote By now you may be hearing things you don't like. It is so difficult to accept the truth, but eventually most of it will make sense. For now, just listen without argument--let things settle a little before you discard them. Even if I don't agree or accept everything told to me now, rather then outright discard it, let me listen, file away for future reference, and process the information later. Lighting My Own Lamp I will learn to light my own lamp today. I will go within for the deepest sort of experience of joy, of ecstasy in being alive. I will get in touch with the deeper pulse of living - the thread that connects me with the divine experience. I will recognize that in order to be lit from within I need to drop down inside of myself and be in the presence of inner light. Life itself has a purpose apart from any individual task or stage. Life itself is the experience. All of the things I have been trying to accomplish are both inner and outer goals. They are meant to bring me closer to myself, to develop me in ways that allow me to experience life more fully - to be more capable of pleasure. Today I will give myself these gifts of inner sight. I will find and live from my own inner light. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'There are more things in heaven and earth... than are dreamt of in your philosophy.' ~William Shakespeare. Hold on to the knowledge that more good is occurring on this hunk of rock floating through space than you can ever imagine. I ask for all things that I might enjoy life, I am given life that I might enjoy all things. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book There's only one thing worse to an alcoholic than bad fortune, and that's good fortune. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I do not need to know anything about this day beyond this moment. This moment is perfect. just as it is and I can handle anything in this moment. My Higher Power gives me all the strength I need today to handle whatever comes up in this moment. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If you want your dreams to come true... wake up. - Unknown origin. |
January 9
Daily Reflections AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21 My act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care and direction), came as I experienced the total bankruptcy of active alcoholism - everything meaningful in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous and, from that instant, my life has never been the same. When I reflect on that very special moment, I know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down through this one act of Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me - one day at a time - in the life-saving, life-giving Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we were drinking, most of us had no real faith in anything. We may have said that we believe in God, but we didn't act as though we did. We never honestly asked God to help us and we never really accepted His help. To us, faith looked like helplessness. But when we came into A.A., we began to have faith in God. And we found out that faith gave us the strength we needed to overcome drinking. Have I learned that there is strength in faith? Meditation For The Day I will have faith, no matter what may befall me. I will be patient, even in the midst of troubles. I will not fear the strain of life, because I believe that God knows just what I can bear. I will look to the future with confidence. I know that God will not ask me to bear anything that could overcome me or destroy me. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may put this day in the hands of God. I pray for faith, so that nothing will upset me or weaken my determination to stay sober. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Group and World-Wide Community, p. 9 The moment Twelfth Step work forms a group, a discovery is made--that most individuals cannot recover unless there is a group. Realization dawns on each member that he is but a small part of a great whole; that no personal sacrifice is too great for preservation of the Fellowship. He learns that the clamor of desires and ambitions within him must be silenced whenever these could damage the group. It becomes plain that the group must survive or the individual will not. << << << >> >> >> "The Lone member at sea, the A.A. at war in a far land--all these members know that they belong to A.A.'s world-wide community, that theirs is only a physical separation, that their fellows may be as near as the next port of call. Ever so importantly, they are certain that God's grace is just as much with them on the high seas or the lonely outpost as it is with them at home." 1. 12 & 12, p. 130 2. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Coming to grips with Fear____ Finding courage. Fear, a universal human emotion, strikes each of us in different ways. The brave parachute jumper may be afraid of public speaking, and the brilliant orator may have a fear of flying. An alcoholic's drinking is partly an attempt to cope with the feelings of fear. The recovering person, now having no drug, must face fear by using the tools of the program. The sober way to deal with fear is to admit that one has fears, to discuss them with a sponsor or another understanding person, and to seek the help of one's Higher Power in living with fear or having it removed. When we share our experience with fear, we hear different kinds of stories. One person may declare that fear was completely removed by prayer. Another person, who prayed with what seemed to be the same degree of sincerity, may still be troubled by occasional fears. We cannot know exactly how the program will help each person cope with fear, but we can be confident that it will work for all of us. We have met fear successfully when we continue to stay sober and meet our responsibilities in all sorts of threatening situations. I will not let fear keep me from any good thing today. My Higher Power can see me through any difficult or threatening situation. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Everything is funny as long as it happening to someone else.--Will Rogers We laugh when others do something silly. We're amused when something funny happens to them. But if the same happens to us and people laugh, we might give them the evil eye. Yet, when others laugh, it can free us. It frees us to see the world through new eyes. Likewise, when we laugh at ourselves, we're free to see ourselves with new eyes. Instead of trying to be perfect, we accept we're human. To laugh at ourselves is to accept ourselves. There's no room for shame when we laugh. We enjoy ourselves just as we are. Can I accept the fact I'm human and I have limits? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, when I refuse to accept that I'm only human, be gentle with me. I know that, when I least expect it, You will remind me that I'm only human. Action for the Day: I will share with a friend one or two stories about funny mistakes I've made. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The Chinese say that water is the most powerful element, because it is perfectly nonresistant. It can wear away a rock and sweep all before it. --Florence Scovel Shinn Nonresistance, ironically, may be a posture we struggle with. Nonresistance means surrendering the ego absolutely. For many of us, the ego, particularly disguised as false pride, spurred us on to struggle after struggle. "Can't they see I'm right?" we moaned, and our resistance only created more of itself. Conversely, flowing with life, "bubbling" with the ripples, giving up our ego, releases from us an energy that heals the situation that smoothes the negative vibrations in our path. Peace comes to us. We will find serenity each time we willingly humble ourselves. Resistance is more familiar. Nonresistance means growth and peace. I'll try for serenity today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the difference between failure and success. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job—wife or no wife—we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. p. 98 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories ON THE MOVE - Working the A.A. program showed this alcoholic how to get from geographics to gratitude. In the past several years I have gone back to school and begun a new career. As I roll around in my wheelchair, I am amazed when I realized that I honestly cannot imagine life to be anything different than what it has been--and that is just fine with me. The tools of sobriety and recovery in A.A. are there for me to use in all aspects of my life, and all I ever need is the willingness to do what is in front of me. I am grateful that a drunk like me was fortunate enough to live until I arrived in Alcoholics Anonymous. p. 493 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." How we alcoholics did resent that verdict! We would not believe that our adult dreams were often truly childish. And considering the rough deal life had given us, we felt it perfectly natural that we were sensitive. As to our grandiose behavior, we insisted that we had been possessed of nothing but a high and legitimate ambition to win the battle of life. p. 123 ************************************************** ********* You cannot think your way into sober living. You live your way into sober thinking. Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness. "The purpose of life is a life of purpose." --Robert Byrne "When you stand outside a room where a group of Alcoholics Anonymous is meeting, the most frequent sound you hear is laughter. Mellow laughter, which can come only from people who have looked destruction and catastrophe in the face, not once but continuously over long years, and now are free and unafraid. The laughter, in short, of people who hold God's hand and feel safe." c. Letter to a Woman Alcoholic (A.A. Pamphlet P-14) - page 13 My creed is that; Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so. --Robert G. Ingersoll Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed. --Storm Jameson It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has. --Henry Ward Beecher ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation EXTREMISTS "Extremists think that 'communication' means agreeing with them." -- Leo Rosten As an alcoholic I was an extremist. I was not only compulsive and obsessive about alcohol, but I became compulsive and obsessive about my opinions, my thoughts and my attitude towards life. Anybody who disagreed with me was wrong or a fool! I only listened to those who were saying what I wanted to hear. For years I played at being God. But that spiritual part of me, that I believe exists in all of us, was isolated and unhappy with this behavior. Although I would never admit it, I knew that often I was wrong, bull-headed and in pain. I would spend sleepless nights thinking how I could say I was sorry without apologizing! For years my pride and ego kept me sick and unhappy. Today I appreciate those who have a different view on life. Today I can disagree with my neighbor without carrying a grudge. Today I can live with difference. I pray that I may always hear what my opponent is saying. ************************************************** ********* "Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the Lord your God which He has given you." Deuteronomy 16:17 Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If the strong won't protect the weak, who will? Lord, grant me the courage to stand up for what I believe and the wisdom to be an encouragement to others. God will never fail you or abandon you. Lord, I am sure that everything that happens is for the purpose of strengthening me and bringing me closer to You. I trust in You to continually bless me with all that I need to successfully handle my circumstances. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Returning Our Sponsor's Kindness "Our earliest involvements with others often begin with our sponsor" Basic Text p. 55 Our sponsor can be an abundant source of recovery information, wisdom, and loving words. They've done so much for us. From the late night telephone calls to the hours spent listening to our recovery writing, they've believed in us and invested their time to prove it. They've lovingly and firmly shown us how to be honest. Their boundless compassion in times of turmoil has given us the strength to go on. Their way of helping has prompted us to seek our answers within ourselves, and we've become mature, responsible, confident individuals as a result. Though our sponsor has given so generously and has never demanded repayment, there are things we can do to show our appreciation. We treat our sponsor with respect. They are not a trash can designed for us to dump our garbage in. They have their times of trial, just as we do, and sometimes need our support. They are human, have feelings, and appreciate our concern. Maybe they would like to receive a card in the mail or a phone call expressing our love. Whatever we do to return our sponsor's kindness will enhance our personal recovery, not to mention the joy we'll bring to our sponsor. Just for today: My sponsor has cared for me when I couldn't care for myself. Today, I will do something nice for my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Life gives us so much time to collect bizarre thoughts and feelings. --Claire Weekes As we go through life, we run into all kinds of negative messages: teasing on the school bus, insulting nicknames, and other put-downs. Pretty soon we may discover that some of these messages stick in our minds, repeating themselves over and over like broken records. These messages can make us feel bad about ourselves. But when we hear one of these tapes playing inside us, we have the power to push the STOP button. Then we can record a new message. We can even say it out loud, so that our voice settles emphatically into our thoughts. We can't make others stop saying these things, but we can stop listening to them. They only have power over us when we give it to them. We have the ability and freedom to let negative thoughts float by us, like water going downstream. What positive message can I send to myself? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival. --Hannah Arendt We men face fear many times in life. Sometimes it's an inner voice, warning us of danger. Some fears remain from the paranoia caused by our former abuses and excesses. In recovery, we feel many new emotions, and we're afraid because we don't understand them. Any normal feeling can seem abnormal and frightening to a man who is feeling it for the first few times. We may think it isn't manly to be afraid, so we become afraid of our fear! At these times, we need to turn to our Higher Power for guidance. We have friends we can talk to. When we simply say, "I am afraid" to a trusted friend, the fear may vanish. Sometimes it's not that easy, and we have to talk in detail about our fear. In the end, when we submit our lives to the care of our Higher Power, we know that whatever happens, nothing can separate us from the love of God. In my fear, help me remember the comfort of my closeness to my Higher Power and my loved ones. I can reach out, and I am never alone. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The Chinese say that water is the most powerful element, because it is perfectly nonresistant. It can wear away a rock and sweep all before it. --Florence Scovel Shinn Nonresistance, ironically, may be a posture we struggle with. Nonresistance means surrendering the ego absolutely. For many of us, the ego, particularly disguised as false pride, spurred us on to struggle after struggle. "Can't they see I'm right?" we moaned, and our resistance only created more of itself. Conversely, flowing with life, "bubbling" with the ripples, giving up our ego, releases from us an energy that heals the situation that smoothes the negative vibrations in our path. Peace comes to us. We will find serenity each time we willingly humble ourselves. Resistance is more familiar. Nonresistance means growth and peace. I'll try for serenity today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Responsibility for Ourselves We have been doing the wrong things for the right reasons. --Codependent No More Caretaking: the act of taking responsibility for other people while neglecting responsibility for ourselves. When we instinctively feel responsible for the feelings, thoughts, choices, problems, comfort, and destiny of others, we are caretakers. We may believe, at an unconscious level, that others are responsible for our happiness, just as we're responsible for theirs. It's a worthy goal to be a considerate, loving, nurturing person. But caretaking is neglecting us to the point of feeling victimized. Caretaking involves caring for others in ways that hamper them in learning to take responsibility for themselves. Caretaking doesn't work. It hurts other people; it hurts us. People get angry. They feel hurt, used, and victimized. So do we. The kindest and most generous behavior we can choose is taking responsibility for ourselves - for what we think, feel, want, and need. The most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves, and let others take responsibility for themselves. Today, I mil pay attention to my actual responsibilities to myself. I will let others do the same. If I am in doubt about what my actual responsibilities are, I will take an inventory. I dare to listen to my inner voice with a new trust today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart You’re Going Someplace New You are opening up more and more. You are becoming clearer each day. Embrace the changes taking place. They are good. They will last. They will take you and your life to someplace new, someplace you can’t fully imagine now because it’s so different from where you have been. All will be changed. Your love, your life, your friends, your work. Your quiet moments and your times of sharing. Your playtime, your rest time. Your attitude will change. Your ability to fully and joyfully experience your life will change. Things that used to bother you, hold you down, hold you back will roll easily off you. Problems that used to plague and pester you, making you feel weighted down, will be lifted easily. You will know and trust that the answers you need will come to you. Your powers will increase. You will find yourself doing, knowing, and feeling things that you thought only certain others could do. You will find yourself gliding through life in a way that brings you joy, and touches and heals others. You will laugh a lot. And yes, you will cry a lot,too, because an open heart feels all it needs to feel. But you will not think twice about your emotions. You will feel then with the purity of a child and the wisdom of a sage. You will see, touch, taste, and feel life’s magic in a way you never imagined. You will love, and you will be loved. And you will learn that it is all the same. You are open now, more open than you’ve ever been. Trust the process and trust your heart. The journey is not in vain. Its purpose is to lead you to love. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Detach in love In the original Language of Letting Go, I told the gerbil story. It’s one of my favorite stories about letting go. Here it is again. Many years ago, when I lived in Stillwater, Minnesota, my children wanted a pet. They wanted a puppy, but I said no. We had tried a bird, but its feathers fell off. I suggested a goldfish, but we settled on a gerbil instead. One day, the gerbil got loose. It got out of its cage and scurried across the floor. It ran so fast that none of us could catch it. We watched as it disappeared under a crack in the wall. We stood around, wondering what to do, but there wasn’t much that could be done. In the months that followed, the gerbil made timely appearances. It would scurry out from behind the walls, run across the room, then dart back into the walls. We’d chase it, lunging after it and screaming as we ran. “There he is. Catch him.” I worried about the gerbil, even when we didn’t see it. “This isn’t right,” I’d think. “I can’t have a gerbil running loose in the house. We’ve got to catch it. We’ve got to do something.” A small animal the size of a mouse had the entire household in a tizzy. One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched the animal scurry across the hallway. I started to lunge at it, as I usually did, then I stopped myself. “No,” I said. “I’m all done. If that animal wants to live in the nooks and crannies of this house, I’m going to let it. I’m done worrying about it. I’m done chasing it.” I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I felt slightly uncomfortable with my new reaction– not reacting– but I stuck to it anyway. Before long, I became downright peaceful with the situation. I had stopped fighting the gerbil. One afternoon, only weeks after I started practicing my new attitude, the gerbil ran by me, as it had so many times, and I barely glanced at it. The animal stopped in its tracks, turned around, and looked at me. I started to lunge at it. It started to run away. I relaxed. “Fine,” I said. “Do what you want.” And I meant it. About an hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and waited. I gently picked it up and placed it in its cage, where it happily reestablished its home. Don’t lunge at the gerbil. He’s already frightened, and chasing him just scares him more and makes us crazy,too. Is there someone you’d like to get close to? Is there an irregular circumstance in your life that you can’t change? Detachment, particularly detaching in love, helps. God, show me the power of using detachment as a tool in all my relationships. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day In the past, and sometimes even now, I automatically have thought, “Why me?”, when I’m trying to learn that my first problem is to accept my present circumstances as they are, myself as I am and the people around me as they are. Just as I finally accepted my powerlessness over my addiction, so must I accept my powerlessness over people, places and things. Am I learning to accept life on life’s terms. Today I Pray May I learn to control my urge to control, my compulsion to manage, neaten, organize and label the lives of others. May I learn to accept situations and people as they are instead of as I would like them to be. Thus, may I do away with the ongoing frustrations that a controlling person, by nature, faces continually. May I be entirely ready to have God remove this defect of character. Today I Will Remember Control for the controller (me). ***************************************** One More Day Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. – Charles Dickens Place a newborn infant in any adult’s arms, and that adult will turn all attention to the tiny new life. Most of us feel overwhelmed with the miracle of birth and the beauty contained within that tiny body. Tod hold an infant is to feel perpetuity and an incredible sense of joy. In the infant, we see a projection of life and the full scope of life’s possibilities. Long ago, others marveled at the fragility and wonder of life as we were placed as babes in their arms. Now we recognize we all had the same beginnings, we all had time before us. We still have time, and it is still full of possibilities. I marvel at the gift of life and all that lies before me. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time ~ SEEING CLEARLY ~ If your eyes hurt after you drink coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup. Norm Crosby For so many years I had trouble seeing the obvious. I felt blind when dealing with emotions. I didn't know how to express anger properly. I was either furious (and eating) over little things, or emotionally void (and eating) over big things. I was told my feelings were hurt too easily, so I began to stifle my rightfully hurt feelings, using food to stuff the pain. But the worst was happiness. I was hysterically happy over the stupidest little things, and felt immensely unworthy of kindnesses done for me. Neither felt comfortable, so I always ended up eating. It all began to come clear in the program. For once I could see my actions and my reactions and begin to understand myself and my motives. As I have worked this program, I no longer feel like my emotions swing on a pendulum from one extreme to the other. I can see things as they really are. I no longer make big mountains out of small hills or make small hills out of big mountains. I can now feel happiness, and express it, in complete comfort with myself. The nicest part is that while I may not be well-acquainted with my new behavior yet, it feels very comfortable, and I no longer have to practice my eating disorders to cover up my feelings. One day at a time... My eyes are opened by the program to the truth of what is and the feelings that are. ~ Rhonda H. ~ ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only THOUGHT they had lost their egoism and fear; they only THOUGHT they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else ALL their life story. - Pg. 73 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote There are no maps to recovery, only steps to freedom from active addiction. Take out your book right now and read the first three steps. These are the tools you need for recovery. I can't. God can. I think I'll let God do it! Looking Toward What is Good I am a creative being. I have the power of reason, the ability to think, hope and dream. I can envision my life not only as it is, but as I might wish it to be. I can then think through the steps I might need to become more of who I am. I have the power to think my way into a happy point of view, to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. My mind can be my greatest enemy or my greatest ally. It depends on how I choose to use it. I hold a beautiful vision of life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Seemingly 'bad days are usually the days in which we don't get our own way. This is a Third Step problem. If you are having a 'bad' day, read the Third Step from your basic recovery text and ask yourself what part of your life today has not been turned over. Today I work toward matching my will to my Higher Power's, not my Higher Power's to mine. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Don't 'have' a nice day, MAKE a nice day. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I dare to listen to my inner voice with a new trust today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If you think you're doing too many meetings, cut it back to one a day. - Campsie Mick. |
January 10
Daily Reflections UNITED WE STAND We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 30 I came to Alcoholics Anonymous because I was no longer able to control my drinking. It was either my wife's complaining about my drinking, or maybe the sheriff forced me to go to A.A. meetings, or perhaps I knew, deep down inside, that I couldn't drink like others, but I was unwilling to admit it because the alternative terrified me. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women united against a common, fatal disease. Each one of our lives is linked to every other, much like the survivors on a life raft at sea. If we all work together, we can get safely to shore. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we were drinking most of us were full of pride and selfishness. We believed we could handle our own affairs, even though we were making a mess of our lives. We were very stubborn and didn't like to take advice. We resented being told what to do. To us, humility looked like weakness. But when we came into A.A., we began to be humble. And we found out that humility gave us the power we needed to overcome drinking. Have I learned that there is power in humility? Meditation For The Day I will come to God in faith and He will give me a new way of life. This new way of life will alter my whole existence, the words I speak, the influence I have. They will spring from the life within me. I see how important is the work of a person who has this new way of life. The words and the example of such a person can have a whole influence for good in the world. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may learn the principles of the good life. I pray that I may meditate upon them and work at them, because they are eternal. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Out Of The Dark, p. 10 Self searching is the means by which we bring new vision, action, and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. With it comes the development of that kind of humility that makes it possible for us to receive God's help. Yet it is only a step. We will want to go further. We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and grow. But first of all we shall want sunlight, nothing much can grow in the dark. Meditation is our step out into the sun. **************************** "A clear light seems to fall upon us all--when we open our eyes. Since our blindness is caused by our own defects, we must first deeply realize what they are. Constructive meditation is the first requirement for each new step in our spiritual growth." 1. Twelve And Twelve, p. 98 2. Letter, 1946 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Need for Envy___Overcoming Envy We would be unusual people if we did not suffer from the common feeling of envy. Quite often, we are envious of people who surpass us in some activity or who threaten our self-esteem in some way. Even if we are high achievers in spite of our drinking, we might envy people who appear to be rivaling or overtaking us. We can make choices about envy. We do not have to be envious of anybody when we fully accept ourselves and God's will for us. There is no reason to be envious of another if we are doing what God wants us to do and if we have turned our will and lives over to God. We should be on guard for jealous feelings toward those close to us. Most of us can shrug when we read about strangers winning the million-dollar lottery, but how would we feel if a close friend or relative won? When those envious feeling surface, we might face them by admitting them to others and asking God's help in rising above them. And if we share these feelings in-group discussions, others will be helped by our display of honesty. I will accept myself, as I am this day. I will not be jealous of anyone's status, possessions, or opportunities. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.---Winston Churchill We addicts are used to learning the hard way. Many of us think we're different and can do things our own way. But then we get in too much trouble or pain. The first AA members were just like us. They knew how it is to hate being told what to do. So they suggested we follow the Twelve Steps. They didn't say we have to do anything. They didn't say working the Steps is the only way to live sober. They just said the Steps worked for them. we're finding out that the Steps work for us too. We don't have to work them. We don't have to stay sober. We just like our new sober life better than our old drinking or drugging life. And we learned how to live this new life by working the Steps Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be open to your lessons. Teach me gently and help me listen. Action for the Day: I will list five ways that I get in the way of my own learning. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning A complete revaluation takes place in your physical and mental being when you've laughed and had some fun. --Catherine Ponder Norman Cousins, in his book Anatomy of an Illness, describes how he cured his fatal illness with laughter. Laughter recharges our entire being; every cell is activated. We come alive, and full vitality restores us physically and emotionally. Many of us need both emotional and physical healing, but perhaps we've overlooked the times to laugh because we've been caught in a negative posture. Unfortunately, negativity becomes habitual for many of us. However, it's never too late to turn our lives around, to laugh instead of complain. Choosing to see the bright side of life, to laugh at our mistakes, lessens our pain, emotional and physical. Laughter encourages wellness. It is habit-forming and, better yet, contagious. Bringing laughter to others can heal them as well. We all want health and happiness in ourselves and others, and we can find it by creating it. The best prescription for whatever ails us may well be a good laugh. Today Ill seek out those chances to dispense a little medicine. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house. p. 98 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I thought I was different because I'm an Indian." I heard that statement from many Natives at my early A.A. meetings. I would only shrug and say to myself: You think you're different, what about me? I'm a red-headed Indian. p. 494 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." In the years since, however, most of us have come to agree with those doctors. We have had a much keener look at ourselves and those about us. We have seen that we were prodded by unreasonable fears or anxieties into making a life business of winning fame, money, and what we thought was leadership. So false pride became the reverse side of that ruinous coin marked "Fear." We simply had to be number one people to cover up our deep-lying inferiorities. In fitful successes we boasted of greater feats to be done; in defeat we were bitter. If we didn't have much of any worldly success we became depressed and cowed. Then people said we were of the "inferior" type. But now we see ourselves as chips off the same old block. At heart we had all been abnormally fearful. It mattered little whether we had sat on the shore of life drinking ourselves into forgetfulness or had plunged in recklessly and willfully beyond our depth and ability. The result was the same--all of us had nearly perished in a sea of alcohol. pp. 123-124 ************************************************** ********* Real joy comes not from ease or riches or from the praise of others, but from doing something worthwhile. --Wilfred Grenfell (1865 - 1940) Joy has nothing to do with material things, or with a man's outward circumstance... A man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched, and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy. --William Barclay (1907 - 1978) So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. --Abraham Lincoln Sometimes even to live is an act of courage. --Seneca ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DIFFERENCE As a recovering alcoholic I belong to a minority. As somebody with the disease of addiction I am aware of my difference. And I have experienced prejudice and injustice because I was not born like other people. But in a spiritual sense the acceptance of my disease has given me a freedom that united me with other minorities, other "different" groups, the countless shades of humanity. My disease has produced a spiritual unity and bond with creation that makes me rejoice in my difference and produces a tolerance of others that was not there before. In this sense I thank God for my dis-ease. You, who made the different, also created the unity; help me find both in my life. ************************************************** ********* "My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up." Psalm 5:3 May my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. I long for your salvation, O LORD, and your law is my delight. Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me. I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands. Psalm 119:169-176 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We have many doors, but it is our choice which one to open. Lord, bless me with the wisdom to make the best of my daily life. Happiness comes from knowing that you can handle the things in your life. Lord, help me to become confident and see the power that is really within me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Gratitude "I'm very grateful to have come to believe." IP No. 21, "The Loner" Belief in a Higher Power can make all the difference when the going gets tough! When things don't go our way in recovery, our sponsor may direct us to make a "gratitude list." When we do, we should include our faith in a Power greater than ourselves on the list. One of the greatest gifts we receive from the Twelve Steps is our belief in a God of our own understanding. The Twelve Steps gently lead us toward a spiritual awakening. Just as our addiction progressed, so does our spiritual life develop in the course of working the program of Narcotics Anonymous. The steps are our path to a relationship with a God of our understanding. This Higher Power gives us strength when our road gets rough. Are we grateful for our deepening relationship with a Higher Power? Do we remember to thank God for each day clean, no matter what has happened that day? Do we remember that, no matter how deep our despair or how great our joy, the God of our understanding is with us? Our recovery is a gift, a gift that we sometimes take for granted. Each day we stay clean, we can rejoice in our Higher Power's care. Just for today: I am grateful for my relationship with a Higher Power that cares for me. ************************************************** ********* January 10 You are reading from the book Today's Gift. You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment. --David D. Burns Good thoughts are like bright colors in a painting. Negative thoughts are dark and dreary and drab. Each day we paint pictures of our own lives with our thoughts. If we step back and look at the canvas, we will see whether the picture is alive with bright colors or dreary and lifeless like a dark cloud. Our thoughts have the power to bring joy or sadness our way, depending on what we expect or look for in our surroundings. The choice of how we want our lives to be is ours. Since we paint a new picture each day, we are always free to change things when they don't please us. What better time than the present? Is there something in my life I'd like to change today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If you don't take chances, you can't do anything in life. --Michael Spinks Many of us have done things that, in looking back, seem insane or dangerous. We may have had friends or family members who got into serious trouble and frightened us by their risky behavior. Out of fear, we may have become too cautious about everything. Our dilemma is that growth is a risk, too. If we avoid all risk, we become stagnant. Life thrives on possibilities and options. Of course, risk means the outcome is unsure. We may not get the result we desire. But not all risk taking is as self-destructive as it was in our past. Now we have our relationship with our Higher Power and ourselves. Now taking a chance may help us grow, even when we don't get what we want. Today let me see possibilities, and guide my inner sense of when to take a chance for growth. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. A complete revaluation takes place in your physical and mental being when you've laughed and had some fun. --Catherine Ponder Norman Cousins, in his book Anatomy of an Illness, describes how he cured his fatal illness with laughter. Laughter recharges our entire being; every cell is activated. We come alive, and full vitality restores us physically and emotionally. Many of us need both emotional and physical healing, but perhaps we've overlooked the times to laugh because we've been caught in a negative posture. Unfortunately, negativity becomes habitual for many of us. However, it's never too late to turn our lives around, to laugh instead of complain. Choosing to see the bright side of life, to laugh at our mistakes, lessens our pain, emotional and physical. Laughter encourages wellness. It is habit-forming and, better yet, contagious. Bringing laughter to others can heal them as well. We all want health and happiness in ourselves and others, and we can find it by creating it. The best prescription for whatever ails us may well be a good laugh. Today Ill seek out those chances to dispense a little medicine. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Fear Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and. you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble. --Ralph Waldo Emerson Fear can be a big stopper for many of us: fear of fragility, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of what others might think, fear of success. We may second-guess our next action or word until we talk ourselves out of participating in life. "But I failed before!" "I can't do it good enough!" "Look at what happened last time!" "What if.. .?" These statements may disguise fear. Sometimes the fear is disguising shame. After I finished the first two chapters of a book I was writing, I read them and grimaced. "No good," I thought. "Can't do it." I was ready to pitch the chapters, and my writing career, out the window. A writer friend called, and I told her about my problem. She listened and told me: "those chapters are fine. Stop being afraid. Stop criticizing yourself. And keep on writing." I followed her advice. The book I almost threw away became a New York Times best seller. Relax. Our best is good enough. It may be better than we think. Even our failures may turn out to be important learning experiences that lead directly to - and are necessary for - an upcoming success. Feel the fear, then let it go. Jump in and do it - whatever it is. If our instincts and path have led us there, it's where we need to be. Today, I will participate in life to the best of my ability. Regardless of the outcome, that makes me a winner. Today I am trusting the urge to move ahead... to grow...to risk new directions. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart Value Your Passion For too long, we have wrongly judged our passion-- our passion for living, our vitality and zest for places, people, things, and ideas. I shouldn't have what I want. I shouldn't say what I like. I shouldn't get too excited. What helps us come to life? What takes us out of the motions and into our emotions? What connects us to the energy of life, the energy of love, the energy of the life force that permeates us all? All your growth, all your work, has not been to lead you away from your passions, to turn you into a robot. It has been to bring you back to life, to put you in touch with the vital energy of the universe, an energy that permeates all that is. An energy that permeates you. Honor your passion by honoring your emotions. Feeling your emotions releases passion into life. Feel them. Feel them all. Then you will know what you like, what instills passion in you. Once you know and can recognize that, you'll know which direction to go. Expressing passion and gratitude will guide your life. Say it again and again. Say it until you believe it. Say it until you live it. ***** more language of letting go Push a different button If you keep pushing the same button, you will get the same results. If you don't like the same results, maybe you could try pushing a different button. "I try and I try and I try. Nothing seems to change. I don't know why he can't try to please me a little more. I've done so much for him." "The people at work just don't appreciate my efforts after all that I've done." If you find yourself reacting to the same situations with the same responses over and over again, waiting for a change, stop! If you've been pushing the same button again and again, maybe the only result you're going to get is the one that's been taking place. Look at your relationships. Is there a situation that has been moving steadily dowhill despite your best efforts to push the right button? Do you find yourself responding to the same situations in the same way over and over, never satisfied with the results? Are you trying the same thing over and over, waiting for something outside of yourself to change instead of doing something differently yourself? Maybe it's time to stop pushing the button, walk away, and do something else. God, give me the clarity to see the situations in my life honestly and to act with wisdom and responsibility in the associations that I have. ***** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day Since I came to The Program, I’ve become increasingly aware of the Serenity Prayer. I see it on literature covers, the walls of meeting rooms, and in the homes of new-found friends. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Do I understand the Serenity Prayer? Do I believe in its power and repeat it often? Is it becoming easier for me to accept the things I cannot change? Today I Pray God grant that the words of the Serenity Prayer never become mechanical for me or lose their meaning in the lulling rhythms of repetition. I pray that these words will continue to take on new depths of significance as I fit life’s realities to them. I trust that I may find the solutions I need in this prayer which, in its simplicity, encompasses all of life’s situations. Today I Will Remember Share the prayer. ***************************************** One More Day In loving myself I gain the power of identity that is necessary before love for others is possible. – David G. Jones Throughout our lives, we may have loved and cared for other people more than we did for ourselves. Some of us were raised to feel that self-love meant selfish. And some of us had trouble finding anything in ourselves that we could love. Learning to love ourselves is not easy, especially if our lives are not going the way we had hoped. And those of us who had expected greater personal growth are often unable to take pride in what progress we’ve made. If we hoped for perfection, we were bound to be disappointed. Now, we’re more likely to see self-love as meaning self-acceptance. We simply offer ourselves what we’ve so freely offered others — love, care, and a second chance. I am a worthy person, deserving of love and forgiveness. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time ~ FORGIVENESS ~ Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guy's out dancing. Buddy Hackett I have spent so much of my life wanting and, in my sickest moments, demanding amends from others. I truly have been treated poorly, wrongly and unfairly. But when I focus on how someone else owes me apologies and amends, I'm keeping myself in a negative attitude while trying to change someone else. One of the best parts of Twelve Step recovery for me has been to let go of these grudges. I work on forgiving people. It sounds wacky, but forgiving them (not forgetting) allows me to let it go. One way I can find forgiveness is to know they never asked themselves how they could make me miserable today. From there, I can wish them well. It has been an absolute blessing to let go of these things rather than waiting for these people to make amends to me. One day at a time... I will remember that no one is intentionally doing harm to me. Forgiveness is a much more serene place. Rhonda H. ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us. - Pg. 55 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Even though you are a unique human being, you are not so unique that your recovery is any different then thousands before you. If you think we don't understand, then your disease is playing tricks on you because it doesn't want you getting well with us. I name three reasons why I am just like every other chemical dependent seeking recovery. Seeing Clearly Today I will use my mind to actually visualize what I want my life to look like. I will give myself the gift of seeing my life through this beautiful lens. My thoughts have a creative power, they reach out, shape and template my experience. What I see as true for me, can be true for me, if I am willing sustain my vision and do the work I need to do to get there. Today I will picture doors opening for me where there were none before. I will take my thoughts seriously. I'll decide on what I'd like to see manifest in my life and I will carry it in my mind's eye and take daily steps toward actualizing it. I will see it as if it is already a reality. Then I'll let it go again and again and again and allow the wisdom of the universe to bring those experiences and opportunities toward me that allow me to take the next right action. I have faith in my own vision - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Gaining our strength in recovery by admitting our powerlessness in addiction is a mystery to us. But, the First Step says we are powerless over 'our drug of choice' and not powerless over 'our recovery.' Don't limit yourself. I am powerfully recovering. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book He who laughs, lasts! Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am trusting the urge to move ahead. to grow, to risk new directions. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The beauty and the power of AA lies in identification. No one in AA ever told me what I was. If you try to tell me I'm an alcoholic or I'm this or that, I just have automatic knee-jerk reaction defense mechanisms that come into play and I just shut you out. You can't get to me that way. But in AA, I'd be sitting at the back of the room and you'd be talking about yourself, so my defenses are down, and I start to identify. - Bob D. |
January 11
Daily Reflections THE 100% STEP Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 68 Long before I was able to obtain sobriety in A.A., I knew without a doubt that alcohol was killing me, yet even with this knowledge, I was unable to stop drinking. So, when faced with Step One, I found it easy to admit that I lacked the power to not drink. But was my life unmanageable? Never! Five months after coming into A.A., I was drinking again and wondered why. Later on, back in A.A. and smarting from my wounds, I learned that Step One is the only Step that can be taken 100%. And that the only way to take it 100% is to take 100% of the Step. That was many twenty-four hours ago and I haven't had to take Step One again. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we were drinking, most of us never thought of helping others. We liked to buy drinks for people, because that made us feel like big shots. But we only used others for our own pleasure. To really go out and try to help somebody who needed help never occurred to us. To us, helping others looked like a sucker's game. But when we came into A.A., we began to try to help others. And we found out that helping others made us happy and also helped us to stay sober. Have I learned that there is happiness in helping others? Meditation For The Day I will pray only for strength and that God's will be done. I will use God's unlimited store of strength for my needs. I will seek God's will for me. I will strive for consciousness of God's presence, for He is the light of the world. I have become a pilgrim, who needs only marching orders and strength and guidance for this day. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may seek God's guidance day by day. I pray that I may strive to abide in God's presence. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Quantity or Quality, p. 11 "About this slip business--I would not be too discouraged. I think you are suffering a great deal from a needless guilt. For some reason or other, the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess you are treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He is only asking us to try to be. That, you surely are doing, and have been doing. So I would not stay away from A.A. through any feeling of discouragement or shame. It's just the place you should be. Why don't you try just as a member? You don't have to carry the whole A.A. on your back, you know! "It is not always the quantity of good things that you do, it is also the quality that counts. "Above all, take it one day at a time." Letter, 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places BEING DOWN Overcoming Depression It would be difficult to find a group of people more subject to mood swings than alcoholics. While we were drinking, most of us were not perceptive enough to realize most of us were not perceptive enough to realize that our moods rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern. We did not mind being "up," but it distressed us greatly when we were "down." Alcohol was the "upper" most of us took when we were depressed. In sobriety, there is usually no chemical "upper" that's safe to take for any of our down moods. Some of us have been helped by vitamins or by inspirational reading. But most of us simply have to RIDE OUT our down moods, doing the best we can until things are on the upswing again. In spite of being down, we do not have to drink. Whatever the causes of mood swings, we can live with them, and we do not need any mood-altering drugs to see us through a down period. Our depression will pass, and we might even notice its hold lessening as we continue to grow in sobriety. I will accept my feelings today, and I will not be disturbed if my mood seems somewhat low. This, too, will pass away. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If there is a harder way of doing something, someone will find it.---Ralph E. Ross When we used alcohol or other drugs, we did most things the hard way. We could turn a simple task into a day-long project. We could turn a simple problem into an argument. We were creative giants in doing things the hard way! we need to change this. We deserve easier lives. It's okay to take the smooth road . In our program ,We have slogans for this: Keep It Simple, Let Go and Let God, First Things First, and Easy Does It. These slogans remind us that it's okay to live with as little trouble as possible. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, show me how to live a simple life. I don't have to do everything the hard way if I listen better to You. Action for the Day: I'll list three or four things I do that makes my life harder than it needs to be. I'll share them with a friend. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness the false sense of isolation that exists only in. your imagination --Jeraldine Sounders We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die. It is often said we learn who we really are by closely observing our behavior toward the people in our lives. We meet ourselves in those others. They are our reflections. They are, perhaps, parts we ourselves have not yet learned to love. The program's message is to trust, to have faith; our higher power is in control. We are faced with no person, no situation too big to handle if we trust the program, if we remember the connections among us all. I will look around today at others, with knowledge of our oneness. Fearing not, I will smile upon the wholeness of life. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home. That is, if he is lucky enough to have a home. Though his family be at fault in many respects, he should not be concerned about that. He should concentrate on his own spiritual demonstration. Argument and fault-finding are to be avoided like the plague. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected. If persisted in for a few months, the effect on a man’s family is sure to be great. The most incompatible people discover they have a basis upon which they can meet. Little by little the family may see their own defects and admit them. These can then be discussed in an atmosphere of helpfulness and friendliness. pp. 98-99 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I grew up on a reservation in Canada. As a young fellow, I was a proud Mic-Mac Indian. My family had a reputation: They were hard drinkers, violent and tough, and I was proud of this. I was told that my grandfather had been the chief of our band, but he had to step down because he went to jail for shooting a man. Jail was almost a badge of honor in my family, or so it seemed to me. As a small boy, I remember standing on top of a case of beer (there were always lots around the house), saying to myself: In a few years I will be this tall. p. 494 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." But today, in well-matured A.A.'s, these distorted drives have been restored to something like their true purpose and direction. We no longer strive to dominate or rule those about us in order to gain self-importance. We no longer seek fame and honor in order to be praised. When by devoted service to family, friends, business, or community we attract widespread affection and are sometimes singled out for posts of greater responsibility and trust, we try to be humbly grateful and exert ourselves the more in a spirit of love and service. True leadership, we find, depends upon able example and not upon vain displays of power or glory. p. 124 ************************************************** ********* "Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." --Ralph Waldo Emerson "All I need to know I learned from my cat." --Suzy Becker Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. --Kahlil Gibran You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. --Henry Drummond I know and trust that God cares for me, and takes care of all my needs. --Shelley ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PHILOSOPHY "To teach men how to live without certainty and yet without being paralyzed by hesitation is perhaps the chief thing philosophy can do." -- Bertrand Russell I suppose the "Twelve Steps" are a practical philosophy of how to live positively with the disease of alcoholism: (a) Don't drink. (b) Find a God in your life that is understandable. (c) Begin to make positive choices in attitudes and behaviors. (d) Let "never forget" be an essential part of the message. The miracle of this philosophy is that it reaches out to so many who suffer with addictive compulsions and teaches us how to live with being imperfect. I believe the Twelve Steps are the answer to "The Fall" of man --- we are going home to God. Let me see beyond the logic to Your loving energy. ************************************************** ********* Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Colossians 3:16 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Look beyond a person's faults so that you can see the real person. Lord, may I learn to focus on the goodness that is in each person and love them because all are your children. The moment of absolute certainty over decisions made never arrives, so make your decision and move on. Lord, grant me wisdom and confidence in making my choices and the ability to recognize when new decisions need to be made. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Faith " As we develop faith in our daily lives, we find that our Higher Power supplies us with the strength and guidance that we need." Basic Text, p. 91 Some of us come into recovery very frightened and insecure. We feel weak and alone. We are uncertain of our direction and don't know where to go for answers. We are told that if we find some faith in a Power greater than ourselves, we will find security and guidance. We want that feeling of safety and strength. But faith doesn't come overnight. It takes time and effort to grow. The seed is planted when we ask our Higher Power for help and then acknowledge the source of our help when it comes. We nurture the tiny seed of faith with the sunlight of our prayers each day. Our faith grows, a reward for living life on its own terms. One day we realize our faith has become like a huge spreading tree; it doesn't stop the storms of life, but we know that we are safe in its shelter. Just for today: I know that faith in my Higher Power will not calm the storms of life, but it will calm my heart. I will let my faith shelter me in times of trouble. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. It does make a difference what you call things. --Kate Douglas Wiggin Most of us think of dandelions as weeds. We buy special tools and poisons when they crop up and complain about them as surely as we welcome the spring that brings them. Yet is there anything more lovely than a sea of yellow dandelions by the side of the road in June? Or as remarkable in transformation as the filaments of the mature dandelion blowing on the wind? Sometimes we let someone else define for us what are weeds and what are flowers. We don't have to. Much of the beauty of the world is that we ourselves decide what is beautiful according to our own feelings. How lucky we are that, when we choose to, we can open our eyes and see! Can I see the beauty in those around me right now? You are reading from the book Touchstones. All truth is an achievement. If you would have truth at its full value, go win it. --Munger Truth can seem so elusive. Yet, at times it is so simple and obvious. In entering this program, many of us thought of ourselves as honest men. Some of us couldn't bear the anguish of our dishonesty. As we repeatedly face ourselves, take our personal inventories, and hold ourselves accountable, we realize we have all grown in our honesty. What seemed honest before now looks like half-truth. It was the best we could do at the time. Our perception of truth has deepened by the grace of God and as a result of our hard work. Truth is won when we have the courage to feel the pain of knowing it. Some of our pain has been the grief of realizing what we missed or lost in our insanity. Some has been the anguish of facing the harm we caused the ones we love, and some in admitting honestly how we ourselves were hurt. Truth does make me free. The richness in my life is a generous reward for courage. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness the false sense of isolation that exists only in. your imagination --Jeraldine Sounders We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die. It is often said we learn who we really are by closely observing our behavior toward the people in our lives. We meet ourselves in those others. They are our reflections. They are, perhaps, parts we ourselves have not yet learned to love. The program's message is to trust, to have faith; our higher power is in control. We are faced with no person, no situation too big to handle if we trust the program, if we remember the connections among us all. I will look around today at others, with knowledge of our oneness. Fearing not, I will smile upon the wholeness of life. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Letting Go of Guilt "There's a good trick that people in dysfunctional relationships use," said one recovering woman. "The other person does something inappropriate or wrong, then stands there until you feel guilty and end up apologizing." It's imperative that we stop feeling so guilty. Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty. Guilt can prevent us from setting the boundaries that would be in our best interests, and in other people's best interests. Guilt can stop us from taking healthy care of ourselves. We don't have to let others count on the fact that we'll always feel guilty. We don't have to allow ourselves to be controlled by guilt - earned or unearned! We can break through the barrier of guilt that holds us back from self care. Push. Push harder. We are not at fault, crazy, or wrong. We have a right to set boundaries and to insist on appropriate treatment. We can separate another's issues from our issues, and let the person experience the consequences of his or her own behavior, including guilt. We can trust ourselves to know when our boundaries are being violated. Today, I will let go of my big and little guilty feelings. Light and love are on my side. I am listening to the voice of truth and love today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Let Go of the Blocks I wandered into the bookstore in a small Southern California town, browsed for a while, then began chatting with the clerk. “Times are different now,” I said. “Changing fast. Turning into something so new, so different, many of us can’t imagine.” “Yes,” she replied quietly and prophetically. “Things are going to be easier. Unless there’s something you’re still hanging on to.” Is there something you’re still hanging on to? A remnant from the past that’s blocking you from stepping into the future? From stepping into today? Look into your heart. The answer is there. Perhaps it’s a behavior, a person, a belief. Is there an issue from the past that’s blocking your ability to love yourself, to connect with God, life, others? Ask yourself if there’s something you’re hanging on to that has outworn its purpose. Old chains can tie us to the past, to past pain, to a path we’ve already trodden, a place we’ve already been. Now is the time to let go. Gently, quietly, let go. Allow yourself a few looks back and as many tears as needed. Where you’ve been has been important. It has helped shape who you are. But have faith that where you’re going is important and wonderful,too. Gently let go. Be free to step into your future of joy. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Throw the ball “I think of letting go as being like throwing a baseball,” a friend said to me. “The problem is, I just don’t want to let go of the ball.” Hanging on to the ball is a temptation. We’ve got it in our hands. Why not keep it there? At least if we’re dwelling on the problem, it feels like we’re doing something. But we’re not. We’re just holding on to the ball, and chances are we’re holding up the game. There’s nothing wrong with trying to solve the problem or offering requested advice. But if we’ve done everything we could, and there’s nothing left to do but obsess, the person we need to stop is ourselves. Here are some rules: If you’ve tried to solve a problem three times, and obsessing doesn’t count as a problem-solving skill, then stop yourself. Let go. Throw the ball. At least for today. If others ask for advice, give them the advice once. Then throw the ball to them. Say no more. If a person hasn’t asked for advice, or if you’ve offered advice and were told no thanks, there’s nothing to throw. The ball isn’t in your hands. Remember the times you’ve willingly let go. Think about how things worked out for you then. Now remember those times you resisted letting go. Whether you wanted to or not, did you throw the ball in the end? God, please show me the benefits of letting go. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The experiences of thousands upon thousands of people have proven that acceptance and faith are capable of producing freedom from dependence on chemicals. When we apply the same principles of acceptance and faith to our emotional problems, however, we discover that only relative results are possible. Obviously, for example, nobody can ever become completely free from fear, anger or pride. None of us will ever achieve perfect love, harmony or serenity. We’ll have to settle for very gradual progress, punctuated occasionally by very heavy setbacks. Have I begun to abandon my old attitude of “all or nothing?” Today I Pray May God grant me the patience to apply those same principles of faith and acceptance which are keys to my recovery to the whole of my emotional being. May I learn to recognize the festering of my own human anger, my hurt, my frustration, my sadness. With the help of God, may I find appropriate ways to deal with these feelings without doing harm to myself or others. Today I Will Remember Feelings are facts. ***************************************** One More Day Always do one thing less than you think you can do. – Bernard Baruch Without even realizing it, we all have developed different levels of expertise. Too often, however, our knowledge of ourselves and of our physical capabilities is that we know the least of. The true measure of knowing ourselves, regardless of how capable we seem to be, is to stop the activity before we get too exhausted, before we have too much pain — before we cause an accident. Understanding one’s own body has become a primary concern for many of us because now we realize that how we “used to” function doesn’t matter anymore. What does matter is how our bodies function right now, and we learn to structure our goals and expectations around those limitations. I am learning, finally, how to recognize and heed my own body’s warning signals. ************************************************** ********* One Day At A Time ~ FOCUS ~ It takes a long time to become young. Pablo Picasso By the time I came to the Twelve Step program, I had forgotten how to have fun. My whole world revolved around food--eating it, planning to eat it, or not eating it (and being very aware of it). When asked to go anywhere, what first came to mind is what foods I could eat there. I would agree to go only if I were in the mood for the kind of food that would be available, and if the person going with me would be interested in eating it too. Parties were all about the food, not who I'd see and meet. Family reunions were about Aunt Betty's specialty dish and Uncle John's grilled meats. This focus on food made me forget how to have fun. I even forgot what I liked to do, if I ever knew. The truth is that fun came to mean eating, and it was what I liked to do. In the recovery program, I've learned that I have choices; I just couldn't see them for the food! The first time I went to a party where I didn't even think about the food, but enjoyed all the new people I met while reconnecting with old friends, I was shocked when I ended up at the refreshment table. The party was almost over, and I hadn't visited this area the second I walked in the door! What a relief! And what fun! I came home full of life and love and laughter. I hadn't felt so young in years. One Day at a Time . . . I will pray to keep my focus away from food and instead focus on life. ~ Rhonda ~ ************************************************** ********* AA 'Big Book' - Quote Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done. - Pg. 130 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Putting pen to paper can be a pain, reading new material can be frustrating, making numerous phone calls can be an annoyance, getting to a lot of meetings can seem boring, BUT this is the way we start. We must remember what circumstances brought us here in the first place. Was that such a pleasure? My I place one foot in front of the other to reach my destination of sobriety. Living the Segments of My Day Intentionally I will divide my day into segments of intention. When I wake up in the morning I will picture feeling good as I go about my early routines. When I move into the next part of my day I will see my morning going smoothly, whatever I have to do I will picture doing with ease and a happy feeling. I will be intentional about each segment of my mid day, seeing myself operating effectively, competently and enjoying my interactions with those I encounter and interact. As afternoon approaches, I will imagine, in my mind's eye, a pleasant and peaceful evening. And as evening gives way to night, I will imagine myself enjoying a peaceful and restful sleep. I will be intentional about how I live each part of my day. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There is no right way to do the wrong thing. Whatever you were thinking of doing, you can not rationalize it into 'right' action by saying, 'yes but this' or 'no but that.' You know what's right and you know what's wrong-that gut feeling guides you. When things go wrong, I don't go with them. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you're having a bad life. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am listening to the voice of truth and love today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote An attitude of gratitude cuts through analysis paralysis. - James A. |
January 12
Daily Reflections ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives. Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 44 When I am having a difficult time accepting people, places or events, I turn to this passage and it relieves me of many an underlying fear regarding others, or situations life presents me. The thought allows me to be human and not perfect, and to regain my peace of mind. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The longer we're in A.A., the more natural this way of life seems. Our old drinking lives were a very unnatural way of living. Our present sober lives are the most natural way we could possibly live. During the early years of our drinking, our lives weren't so different from the lives of a lot of other people. But as we gradually became problem drinkers, our lives became more and more unnatural. Do I realize now that the things I did were far from natural? Meditation For The Day I will say thank you to God for everything, even the seeming trials and worries. I will strive to be grateful and humble. My whole attitude toward the Higher Power will be one of gratitude. I will be glad for the things I have received. I will pass on what God reveals to me. I believe that more truths will flow in, as I go along in the new way of life. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be grateful for the things I have received and do not deserve. I pray that this attitude will make me truly humble. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Seeking Fool's Gold, p. 12 Pride is the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to true progress. Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our God-given instincts. When the satisfaction of our instincts for sex, security, and a place in society becomes the primary object of our lives, then pride steps in to justify our excesses. << << << >> >> >> I may attain "humility for today" only to the extent that I am able to avoid the bog of guilt and rebellion on one hand and, on the other hand, that fair but deceiving land which is strewn with the fool's-gold coins of pride. This is how I can find and stay on the highroad to humility, which lies between these extremes. Therefore, a constant inventory which can reveal when I am off the road is always in order. 1. 12 & 12, pp. 48-49 2. Grapevine, June 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places IF IT FEELS GOOD. . . Facing Other Excesses In the drinking life, one of the flippant sayings we heard was, "If it feels good, do it!" We hear that often in sobriety, although it sometimes appears on a bumper sticker or as casual comment. And if we've learned anything in sobriety, we know that this remark is really a permit for disaster. We drank to feel good, but we often ended up feeling terrible. Yet the same slogan, properly understood, can be useful for the recovering alcoholic. We all want to feel good. But a drink means temporary pleasure followed by pain, guilt, remorse, and ruin. This is not really feeling good. It is a nightmare of the worst feeling we can imagine. Happy sobriety does feel good, even though it may include short-term discomfort or temporary boredom. The long-run tendency of sobriety is toward having peace of mind, feeling good about ourselves, and using our talents and opportunities wisely. This is the mature way to feel good, but we achieve it only by thinking and acting in the right ways. Perhaps our slogan could be, "If it will make you feel good now and in the future, do it!" Today I will pass up anything that seems pleasurable in the short run but will make me guilty and unhappy later on. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Remember always that you have not only the right to be individual, you have an obligation to be one. --Eleamnor Roosevelt When we were using alcohol and other drugs, we often thought that we were different from others. We secretly thought that no one could understand us. Maybe we tried to be one of the group, but we were lonely. Now we know for sure--we are different from others. Everyone's unique. We all have this in common. Being like others helps us feel safe and normal. But we need to feel good about the ways we're different from others too. We think a little different, act a little different, and look a little different from anyone else. We each have our own way to make life better for others. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be an individual. Help me use my special gifts, not hide them. Action for the Day: Today, I'll make a list of the things I'm good at. I'll think about how I can use these gifts. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It isn't sufficient to seek wholeness through men, it never was and it never will be for any woman, married or single. --Patricia O'Brien Most of us were encouraged from childhood on to "find a husband." The message, often subtle, was nonetheless there. And many of us did marry. However, no relationship carries a lifetime guarantee. Pinning our hopes on another person keeps us dependent; it keeps us in a "holding pattern." It keeps us from making those choices tailored to who we are and who we want to be. Our recovery as women is closely aligned with our growth in decision-making, our choosing responsible behavior and activities, our personal achievement. We do, each of us, need to discover our own wholeness. We need to celebrate our personhood. We need to cheer one another on as women recovering from an addictive past, as worthwhile women in full measure. I will respect my wholeness today. I will help another woman nurture hers. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. These things will come to pass naturally and in good time provided, however, the alcoholic continues to demonstrate that he can be sober, considerate, and helpful, regardless of what anyone says or does. Of course, we all fall much below this standard many times. But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree. p. 99 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. There were times, though, when I witnessed my father's rages and I was full of fear. I swore that I would not be like him, but I didn't see that alcohol and the rages were related. p. 494 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Still more wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy. Not many of us can be leaders of prominence, nor do we wish to be. Service, gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God's help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the well-understood fact that in God's sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given surely brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God's scheme of things--these are the permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living for which no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes. True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God. pp. 124-125 ************************************************** ********* You are a child of God. You are a child of Light. The Soul that is your true identity resides naturally in love and joy. --John-Roger Take LOVE as an acronym: LISTEN intently to the people with whom you are traveling your journey. Listen deeply; it is a great gift. OPTIMIZE the time you have with your loved ones. The truth is, we do not know our last hour; don't postpone giving your love. VALUE the people in your life, really notice their goodness. Then, EXPRESS your gratitude, appreciation and praise. --Mary Manin Morrissey Message of Peace May there always be work for your hands to do; May your purse always hold a coin or two; May the sun always shine on your windowpane; May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain; May the hand of a friend always be near you; May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you. Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. --Leo Buscaglia If you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel... then run down there and light the darn thing yourself... :-) ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation VALUES "The aim of education is the knowledge not of fact, but of values." -- Dean William R. Inge Facts can sometimes confuse. They can be used to hide behind. They can be manipulated into lies. Facts are no substitute for values --- human values. Today I not only value my life but I value life itself. When I walk amongst nature, I taste her purity, observe her beauty, experience her strength --- and I know I am a part of it all. Today my values have changed because I see myself as "part of" rather than "separate from". I belong to this universe, this world, this planet and what I do affects the essential value of life. With my daily respect for self comes a respect for property, people, different cultures and God. Today the things I truly value I do not pay for; the things I cherish cannot be won or bought. Spirituality is free. Teach me to value the meaning of freedom and the richness of life. ************************************************** ********* "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 For by grace have ye been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, (it is) the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8-9 Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Take today and make it beautiful. Lord, my life is no accident and neither is how I live it. Help me to fill it with smiles. We can be serious about our work without being serious about ourselves. Lord, help me to enjoy the person that I am. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Spiritual Awakenings " Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps..." Step Twelve " How will I know when I have had a spiritual awakening?" For many of us, a spiritual awakening comes gradually. Perhaps our first spiritual awareness is as simple as a new appreciation for life. Maybe one day we'll suddenly discover the sound of birds singing early in the morning. The simple beauty of a flower may remind us that there is a Power greater than ourselves at work around us. Often, our spiritual awakening is something that grows stronger over time. We can strive for more spiritual awareness simply by living our lives. We can persist in efforts to improve our conscious contact through prayer and meditation on a daily basis. We can listen within for the guidance we need. We can question other addicts about their experiences with spirituality. We can take time to appreciate the world around us. Just for today: I will reflect on the spiritual awakenings I have experienced. I will strive to be God-conscious. I will take time out in the day to appreciate my Higher Power's handiwork. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a shiny sliver out of one hour. I dropped it carelessly. O God! I knew not I held an opportunity. --Hazel Lee Once, a famous artist was hired to put stained glass windows into a great cathedral. His eager young apprentice pleaded for the chance to design just one small window. The master artist feared an experiment on even a small window would prove costly, but the persistent young apprentice kept up his pleas. Finally, the master agreed that he could try his hand on one small window if he furnished his own materials and worked on his own time. The enterprising apprentice began gathering bits of glass his master had discarded, and set to work. When the cathedral doors were open, people stood in groups before the small window, praising its delicate excellence. Our lives are like this. If we take the time to gather together the moments and opportunities we too often discard and waste, we find we can weave them into something beautiful. What can I make of moments I usually waste today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. I should be content to look at a mountain for what it is and not as a comment on my life. --David Ignatow We have recognized our self-centeredness as addicts and codependents. On the other side is the feeling of peace and well being when we are released from it. Self-centeredness caused us to take everything personally. We were hypersensitive to our surroundings, to other people, and to how they reacted. Yet, so often these things had very little to do with us. God sends rain for the just and the unjust. When we can look at a mountain and lose ourselves in the sight, we are refreshed spiritually. But no mountain is necessary for this experience. When we listen to a friend and simply hear his perspective, when we pet a dog and just enjoy this loving creature, when we look at a sunset and drink it in for what it is - then we are growing. God, grant me release from the oppression of my ego. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. It isn't sufficient to seek wholeness through men, it never was and it never will be for any woman, married or single. --Patricia O'Brien Most of us were encouraged from childhood on to "find a husband." The message, often subtle, was nonetheless there. And many of us did marry. However, no relationship carries a lifetime guarantee. Pinning our hopes on another person keeps us dependent; it keeps us in a "holding pattern." It keeps us from making those choices tailored to who we are and who we want to be. Our recovery as women is closely aligned with our growth in decision-making, our choosing responsible behavior and activities, our personal achievement. We do, each of us, need to discover our own wholeness. We need to celebrate our personhood. We need to cheer one another on as women recovering from an addictive past, as worthwhile women in full measure. I will respect my wholeness today. I will help another woman nurture hers. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Finding Balance The goal of recovery is balance - that precious middle ground. Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own. We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body. We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then we swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us. We can learn to give to others while taking responsibility for ourselves. We can learn to take care of our feelings, as well as our physical, mental, and spiritual needs. We can nurture the quiet confidence of owning our power as equals in our relationships with others. The goal of recovery is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to extremes. Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down. Today I am willing to let go of all my fear so that I can find out what is real in my life. I will take whatever comes without judgment. I am ready to release all my resistance and struggle so that I can find out the good and truth inside me. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Let the Universe Help You Let the universe help you. You are not in this world alone. You never have been, although your belief may have created that illusion. Tell the universe what you want. Tell a friend. Tell God,too. Tell yourself. Write it down on a list. Be clear and forthright about what you need and want. Talk as if you were talking to a friend. That is not control. That is learning to own your own creative power– your power to help create your life. Then let go. Do not stand tapping your foot, impatiently waiting. Simply let go, the way you would if you trusted your friend to respond positively, in a way that was best for you. Go naturally about the course of your life. Listen to your heart. Listen to your inner voice. What are you guided to do, where you are guided to go, where your attention is directed, the people you meet, the phone calls you receive, the experiences you have– even the problems that arise– these are some ways the universe can respond to you. Open your eyes. Look around. See how the universe responds. Watch how it dances for you, with you. You are connected to a magical loving universe, one that will come alive for you, dance for you, in ways you cannot imagine– but in ways you will come to know as true. Look within,too. Sometimes the most gentle, quiet, flickering thought– that glimmer of an idea, that awareness of a need or desire, or that small bit of inspiration or intuition– is how the universe prepares us for what it wants us to do or receive. Our inner voice, the one in our heart, is an important part of the way we’re guided and led down our path. You stand at a gateway now. It’s the door to universal love. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Stop playing tug-of-war Letting go can be like a tug-of-war with God. Have you ever played tug-of-war with a puppy and an old sock or toy? You pull. He pulls. You pull it out of his mouth. He grabs hold again and shakes and shakes and says grrrrrr. The harder you tug, the harder the puppy tugs. Finally, you just let go. Then he comes right back again, for more. I have never successfully treated or solved one problem in my life by obsessing or controlling. I’ve yet to accomplish anything by worrying. And manipulation has not wrought one successful outcome. But I forget that from time to time. The best possible outcomes happen when I let go. That doesn’t mean I always get my way. But things work out and, ultimately, the lesson becomes clear. If we want to play tug-of-war, we can, but it’s not an efficient problem-solving skill. God, help me surrender to your will. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When I sit quietly and compare my life today with the way it used to be, the difference is almost beyond belief. But things aren’t always rosy; some days are a lot better than others. I tend to accept the bad days more easily on an intellectual level than I do emotionally, or at gut-level. There are no pat answers, but part of the solution surely life’s in a constant effort to practice all of the Twelve Steps. Do I accept the fact that my Higher Power will never give me more than I can handle — one day at a time. Today I Pray That I may receive strength in the knowledge that God never gives us more than we can bear, that I can always, somehow, endure present pain, whereas the trials of a lifetime, condensed into on disastrous moment, would surely overcome me. Thanks be to God for giving us only those tribulations which are in proportion to our strength, never destroying us in our frailty. May I remember that fortitude grows out of suffering. Today I Will Remember Present pain is endurable. ***************************************** One More Day It’s a fine thing to rise above pride, but you must have pride in order to do so. – George Bernanos We are entitled to feel proud of our accomplishments. Pride is an essential ingredient in the receipt of life, and it comes from an inner sense of well-being, from knowing we have done the best we could under difficult conditions. When our day’s plans are upset by the unexpected, we may struggle with maintaining our pride. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ GUILT ~ Who I am is what I have to give. Quite simply, I must remember that's enough. Anne Wilson Schaef For most of my growing up years, I was fed on guilt, or so it seemed. I always felt that in order to justify being worthy of what others did for me, I had to be the best at whatever I did. I would feel guilty for not meeting others' expectations. My self-esteem was virtually non-existent. I was always there for other people rather than being there for myself. It was no wonder I turned to food to help me cope. Now, I'm grateful that it took the pain of all those years of compulsive overeating to bring me into this wonderful fellowship of people who accept me just as I am. I don't need to do anything to justify myself. Through working the steps, I have been able to let go of a lot of guilt and I see that, even with all my character defects, I'm still a very special and unique human being. My self-esteem has improved, and I learned that I need to take care of myself if I'm to be of help to others. I still struggle with those defects from time to time, but with the support I find in this fellowship, I am becoming comfortable with who I am, and I can let go of the guilt. What a relief that has been! I don't need to be just the person who is always there for others; I need to be there for myself. I am learning that I am a worthwhile person and that I'm just the way God wants me to be. One Day at a Time . . . I don't need to be just the person who is always there for others; I need to be there for myself. I am learning that I am a worthwhile person and that I'm just the way God wants me to be. ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote There is action and more action. 'Faith without works is dead.' - Pg. 88 - Into Action Hour To Hour - Book - Quote There is a certain universality to the truths taught in our 12 step programs. They are nothing new. These principles are derived from eons of experience and spirituality. What is new is our personal understanding that living these principles gives us a reprieve from our addiction. Thank you God, as I understand You, for my daily reprieve from addiction based on my sincere attempt to practice these principles. Actualizing the Gifts that are In Me I will actualize that gifts that are in me today. I will be less preoccupied with who I'm not and more occupied with who I am. When I spend all of my time looking outside of me or wanting what others have, I forget that I have my own special gifts. God has placed gifts within me that I am meant to develop and share. My responsibility is to come to know what my gifts are, then to cultivate and strengthen them as I share them with the world. I look for the gifts that are in me. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Service is sacred; our sometimes smoke-filled, coffee-filled, talk-filled clubs, meetings, and social gatherings are the basis for a lot more than laughter-they add up to a major part of our recovery. May 29, Day By Day Am I contributing to the fellowship? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book When you lead a meeting, lead. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am willing to let go of all my fear so that I can find out what is real in my life. I will take whatever comes without judgement. I am ready to release all my resistance and struggle so that I can find out the good and truth inside me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday. - Ken D. |
January 13
Daily Reflections IT DOESN'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85 The most common alcoholic fantasy seems to be: "If I just don't drink, everything will be all right." Once the fog cleared for me, I saw -- for the first time -- the mess my life had become. I had family, work, financial and legal problems; I was hung up on old religious ideas; there were sides of my character to which I was inclined to stay blind because they easily could have convinced me that I was hopeless and pushed me toward escape again. The Big Book guided me in resolving all of my problems. But it didn't happen overnight -- and certainly not automatically -- with no effort on my part. I need always to recognize God's mercy and blessings that shine through any problem I have to face. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we were drinking, we were living an unnatural life physically and mentally. We were punishing our bodies by loading them with alcohol. We didn't eat enough and we ate the wrong things. We didn't get enough sleep or the right kind of rest. We were ruining ourselves physically. We had an alcoholic obsession and we couldn't imagine life without alcohol. We kept imagining all kinds of crazy things about ourselves and about other people. We were ruining ourselves mentally. Since I came into A.A., am I getting better physically and mentally? Meditation For The Day I believe that my life is being refined like gold in a crucible. Gold does not stay in the crucible, only until it is refined. I will never despair or be despondent. I now have friends who long for me to conquer. If I should err or fail, it would cause pain and disappointment to them. I will keep trying to live a better life. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may always call on God's strength, while the gold of my life is being refined. I pray that I may see it through, with God's help. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Shared Gift, p. 13 A.A. is more than a set of principles; it is a society of alcoholics in action. We must carry the message, else we ourselves can wither and those who haven't been given the truth may die. << << << >> >> >> Faith is more than our greatest gift; its sharing with others is our greatest responsibility. May we of A.A. continually seek the wisdom and the willingness by which we may well fulfill that immense trust which the Giver of all perfect gifts has placed in our hands. 1. Service Manual, p. 5 2. Grapevine, April 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The need for approval. Raising self-esteem. Although drinking behavior may have been defiant and antisocial, most of us wanted others to think well of us. If we are not watchful, this need for approval can tyrannize us in sobriety. A fierce need for approval can drives us to do more than our share of talking at discussion meetings. On the other hand, the fear of disapproval may cause us to "pass" when we really do have something to say. Outside of the fellowship, a strong desire for others' approval can make us anxious and unsure of ourselves. In the same way, a strong fear of being rejected or criticized can make us afraid to act. In sobriety, we can free ourselves from an unreasonable desire for approval. When we learn to like ourselves more, we do not need constant reassurance and applause from others. We may also discover that we have been doing certain things against our will simply because we wanted somebody's approval. This is our fault, not theirs, and we can get such practices out of our lives when we no longer need them. I will accept myself as I am today. I will give others the approval that I desire for myself. I will not try to win approval by being a people-pleaser ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The junkie can never start to cure himself until he recognizes his true condition.----Malcoln X Now we know what the problem is. Now we can do something about it. The truth of our problem is, we can't handle alcohol or other drugs. They handle us. They control us. The Steps ask us to face the truth. And the truth sets us free. What a wonderful gift! We feared the truth, but now it's our friend. It's a relief. Facing the truth means we're honest. And honestly is our best friend in recovery. It's like a cozy fire on a winter's night. Honesty is how we get well. It's also what will keep us well. Do I truly believe I can't use alcohol or other drugs? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect. Action for the Day: Today, I'll make two list, On one list, I'll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I'll write way I play with my program. And I'll put my energy into working the program. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be all that I am capable of becoming . . . This all sounds very strenuous and serious. But now that I have wrestled with it, it's no longer so. I feel happy--deep down. All is well. --Katherine Mansfield All is well. In the midst of turmoil, let us remember, all is well; in the midst of the pain of self-awareness, all is well. The struggle of the turmoil, the pain that accompanies the lessons of self-awareness, are preparing us for becoming all we are meant to become. We each have a special gift to offer in this life. We will come to understand those gifts and be able to give them as we grow with the pain of self-understanding. All is well. Deep down happiness ripples, it's rippling to the surface of our lives. My lesson for today is understanding, of myself and others. Happiness is the grade I earn each day of my "becoming." ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If there be divorce or separation, there should be no undue haste for the couple to get together. The man should be sure of his recovery. The wife should fully understand his new way of life. If their old relationship is to be resumed it must be on a better basis, since the former did not work. This means a new attitude and spirit all around. Sometimes it is to the best interests of all concerned that a couple remain apart. Obviously, no rule can be laid down. Let the alcoholic continue his program day by day. When the time for living together has come, it will be apparent to both parties. p. 99 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I always thought I was different. ON many occasions I wished I had black hair like my friends. Mic-Mac was the language in our home, but I would not speak it. All my family spoke Mic-Mac, but when they spoke to me, I would answer in English. I believed I couldn't speak Mic-Mac as well as my parents, so I resolved not to speak it at all. pp. 494-495 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." These little studies of A.A. Twelve Steps now come to a close. We have been considering so many problems that it may appear that A.A. consists mainly of racking dilemmas and troubleshooting. To a certain extent, that is true. We have been talking about problems because we are problem people who have found a way up and out, and who wish to share our knowledge of that way with all who can use it. For it is only by accepting and solving our problems that we can begin to get right with ourselves and with the world about us, and with Him who presides over us all. Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right action is the key to good living; therefore the joy of good living is the theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step. p. 125 ************************************************** ********* Nothing is so bad, that a drink won't make worse. A contented mind is a continual feast. --American Proverb Daylight follows a dark night. --Maasai Proverb Even the longest day has its end. --Irish Proverb "Lord, take me where You want me to go: Let me meet who You want me to meet: Tell me what You want me to say, and Keep me out of Your way" --Franciscan friar, Mychal F. Judge ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation ACCEPTANCE "Treat the other man's faith gently; it is all he has to believe with." -- Henry Hoskins I said that I was a nonviolent drunk. Today I am able to see that I was sarcastic and verbally violent, and this was no less painful or destructive to the victim. A target for my anger and venom was the faith and beliefs of others, especially when they differed radically from my own. My alcoholism made me a prejudiced and bigoted man, a prisoner of my arrogance. My sobriety teaches me to be accepting and tolerant of the views and opinions of others. A spirituality that embraces all men --- rather than a narrow and restrictive religion --- is my prescription for life. I have exchanged bigotry for freedom, and I am happy in God's world. I pray that my acceptance of my fellow man, regardless of culture or creed, may lead to understanding. ************************************************** ********* "But as it is written: 'Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Don't worry about tomorrow because God is already taking care of it. Lord, help me set aside needless worry and anxiety so that I have time to do all that I need to do today. When life seems hard and filled with troubles, look for reasons to be thankful. Lord, Your beautiful presence is always with me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Surrender To Win " Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat." Basic Text, p. 22 Complete defeat-what a concept! That must mean surrender. Surrender-to give up absolutely. To quit with no reservations. To put up our hands and quit fighting. Maybe to put up our hand at our first meeting and admit we're addicts. How do we know we've taken a First Step that will allow us to live drug-free? We know because, once we have taken that gigantic step, we never have to use again-just for today. That's it. It's not easy, but it's very simple. We work the First Step. We accept that, yes, we are addicts. "One is too many, and a thousand never enough." We've proven that to ourselves enough times. We admit that we cannot handle drugs in any form. We admit it; we say it out loud, if necessary. We take the First Step at the beginning of our day. For one day. This admission frees us, just for today, from the need to live out our addiction all over again. We've surrendered to this disease. We give up. We quit. But in quitting, we win. And that's the paradox of the First Step: We surrender to win, and by surrendering we gain a far greater power than we ever imagined possible. Just for today: I admit that I am powerless over my addiction. I will surrender to win. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. --Robert Frost Our home is a place of roots, a place where we can always turn in time of need. Some of us may have had the experience of being away from home and not being able to make it on our own. We know what a relief it was to reach out at last and call our family, who we knew would take us in. We became people in our homes, we learned to eat and walk and talk there. We feel comfortable there, safe from the pressures of the outside world. It is up to us to keep it safe and healthy by growing in love and generosity there. Home is a place to really give of ourselves and put our best into making it happy and secure. It will affect our futures more than almost anything else in our lives. It deserves our prayers of blessing. It is our foundation, the source of our first feelings for others. May we treasure our home and the people who make up our family. What small thing can I do right now to make home a better place? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The perfection of innocence, indeed, is madness. --Arthur Miller We've all said, "I didn't do anything. Don't blame me; I didn't mean any harm." Overdevelopment of innocence contradicts our spiritual growth. The painful truth is, we do have an impact on other people. Many times we have cultivated innocence as a style, and it has stood in our way of being accountable. We cannot be in a relationship without sometimes hurting the ones we love. Spiritual growth requires us to take action and to take responsibility for what we do. It is painful to acknowledge we made a mistake and hurt someone. But giving up our innocent style is constructive pain. It opens the possibility to correct our ways, make repairs, and be forgiven. Then we are in the mainstream of a hearty spiritual life. May I nave the grace to let go of my innocence by taking action and admitting my mistakes. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be all that I am capable of becoming . . . This all sounds very strenuous and serious. But now that I have wrestled with it, it's no longer so. I feel happy--deep down. All is well. --Katherine Mansfield All is well. In the midst of turmoil, let us remember, all is well; in the midst of the pain of self-awareness, all is well. The struggle of the turmoil, the pain that accompanies the lessons of self-awareness, are preparing us for becoming all we are meant to become. We each have a special gift to offer in this life. We will come to understand those gifts and be able to give them as we grow with the pain of self-understanding. All is well. Deep down happiness ripples, it's rippling to the surface of our lives. My lesson for today is understanding, of myself and others. Happiness is the grade I earn each day of my "becoming." You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Good Feelings When we talk about feelings in recovery, we often focus on the troublesome trio - pain, fear, and anger. But there are other feelings available in the emotional realm - happiness, joy, peace, contentment, love, closeness, and excitement. It's okay to let ourselves feel pleasurable feelings too. We don't have to worry when we experience good feelings; we don't have to scare ourselves out of them; we don't have to sabotage our happiness. We do that, sometimes, to get to the more familiar, less joyous terrain. It's okay to feel good. We don't have to analyze, judge, or justify. We don't have to bring ourselves down, or let others bring us down, by injecting negativity. We can let ourselves feel good. Today, I will remind myself that it is my right to feel as good as I can. I can have many moments of feeling good; I can find a balanced place of feeling content, peaceful, and good. Protect Your Energy Just as we strive to protect and conserve earth's energy resources we can strive to protect and conserve our own. Become more aware of the impact of things, people, and activities on you and your energy. What feeds you, charges you? What drains and depletes you? As you grow and become more sensitive to how things feel to you, you'll naturally grow dislike and be uncomfortable with whatever drains or negatively impacts your energy. Yes, some difficult, draining situations. Sometimes we need to let go of people, places, and behaviors that don't work for us anymore, that drain, exhaust, and deplete us. Pay attention to the impact of certain people, places, behaviors, and events on your energy. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain foods, drink certain beverages, go certain places. Learn to listen to your body, your emotions, and your heart. Be prepared to let go of some things and people along the way. Be gentle with yourself while you do. Learn to conserve your energy. It is precious, valuable resource. --Melody Beattie I celebrate myself today and know that my feelings are okay. I am me, unique and alive. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Honor Winter’s Lesson “See the pine trees and learn their lesson,” a friend once said. “Pine trees are nature’s reminder that growth continues even in the winter.” Winter is an important season in our lives. It is more than a time of coldness and snow. It’s a time of going within. A time to rest from the work that’s been done, a time to prepare for the lessons ahead. Long for the sun on your shoulders, but let the frost and cold come. The ground has been left fallow in preparation for nourishing the seeds of new llife. Honor winter’s lesson. Despite this time of lifelessness and inactivity, this is still a season of growth. Trust what’s being worked out in your soul. The snow will melt. The sun will shine again. The time will come to remove your heavy garb and return to the activity of life. Cherish the winter. Cherish its quietness, the time of going within to rest and heal. Cherish this time of preparation that must come before new life. Cherish the hope that lies beneath the snow. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Take care of yourself For once a person begins on this path of knowledge they will only look inward, learning how to fix themselves, instead of trying to fix other people. –Rav Brandwein Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible– controlling that which we cannot– and instead, focus on what is possible– which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible. Have you tricked yourself into believing there’s someone you can control? If you have, tell yourself the truth. Stop trying to have power where you truly have none. Instead, exercise your will in a way that will bring results. The one power you always have is the ability to let go and take care of yourself. God, help me make letting go and taking care of myself a way of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The Program and my friends in the fellowship have provided me with a whole new set of tools for living. Even the slogans that once seemed so trite and corny are now becoming an important part of my daily life: Easy Does It; First Things First; This, Too, Will Pass. If I use all of my tools regularly and well, they’ll also help rid me of such negative feelings as guilt, anxiety, rebellion and pride. When I’m feeling depressed, do i use the tools that have been proven effective? Or do I grit my teeth and suffer in painful silence. Today I Pray I praise my wonder-working Higher Power for giving me the tools for recovery, once I admitted I was powerless over alcohol or other drugs or addictions and gave myself over to the will of God as I understand Him. I give thanks for the Twelve Steps, and for the fellowship of the group, which can help me see myself honestly. I give thanks for those words and phrases which become, as we understand them more completely, banners in our celebration of sobriety. Today I Will Remember Pass on the passwords to recovery. ***************************************** One More Day We cannot live, sorrow or die for somebody else…. – Edward Dahlberg Our need to protect a stick child becomes frustration as we can do so little to protect the child from pain. When we become ill, our families and friends sometimes make awkward efforts to help protect us. They may try to make us laugh by telling jokes or recounting funny moments we’ve shared with them. Or, these people might become overly helpful, trying to save us some steps or inconveniences. We understand their need to help us; all of us want to comfort and protect our loved ones as we would a child. However, we are not children, and the maturity we’ve gained has reversed the roles we play with our family and friends. We can comfort and protect them by laughing with them and by letting them help us, and this becomes a two-way expression of love. Today, I will allow others to express their love for me. ***************************************** One Day At A Time CHANGE ”If you would truly wish to understand something, try to change it.” Kurt Lewin There is nothing more powerful to me than this one thought. My entire program teaches me to change the fellow who came in or he will surely drag me back out. Without change there is no hope. Without hope there is no peace or serenity. The "how to" is simply and strongly told in the Big Book of AA. On page 28 it is plain that we must find and maintain a spiritual fitness in order to survive. Change is the key to open the door, and change is impossible without a power greater than ourselves. This, truly, is the easier, softer way. May you find Him now. One day at a time… I am willing to allow the God of my understanding to change the person I was into the person He wishes me to be. ~ Danny ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote To get over drinking will require a transformation of thought and attitude. We all had to place recovery above everything, for without recovery we would have lost both home and business. - Pg. 143 - To Employers Hour To Hour - Book - Quote During crisis, we must not act as isolated persons with nothing gained from fellowship. We stick together. If one of us pulls away, we pull them back. WE recover as WE, not as an I. As I walk this road of recovery, let me know I don't walk alone. In fact I march in an army of WE. Opening to Abundance I am ready, willing and able to open my mind and heart to the abundance that the world has to offer me. This world brings forth what I need. The sun shines, water from fresh springs makes its way across rocky slopes to quench my thirst and abundant varieties of food germinate from seeds to nourish my body. Everywhere nature brings forth. The clouds, wind and rain draw me toward their eternal mystery. This world is designed to nurture and sustain life. I am part of that life, and I receive solace and comfort knowing that the world and I are both alive and vibrant. Both imbued with the same life force. This world nurtures me. I am open to abundance - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you are looking for the perfect group before you join a home group, then you are going to be homeless. My home group members are not perfect and neither am I, so we suit each other perfectly. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Token takers take it and meeting makers make it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I celebrate myself today and know that my feelings are okay. I am me, unique and alive. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote AA doesn't say we can't have personalities, it just says we put principles before them. - Liz J. |
January 14
Daily Reflections NO REGRETS We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.83 Once I became sober, I began to see how wasteful my life had been and I experienced overwhelming guilt and feelings of regret. The program's Fourth and Fifth Steps assisted me enormously in healing those troubling regrets. I learned that my self-centeredness and dishonesty stemmed largely from my drinking and that I drank because I was an alcoholic. Now I see how even my most distasteful past experiences can turn to gold because, as a sober alcoholic, I can share them to help my fellow alcoholics, particularly newcomers. Sober for several years in A.A., I no longer regret the past; I am simply grateful to be conscious of God's love and of the help I can give to others in the Fellowship. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When we first came into A.A., a sober life seemed strange. We wondered what life could possibly be like without ever taking a drink. At first, a sober life seemed unnatural. But the longer we're in A.A., the more natural this way of life seems. And now we know that the life we're living in A.A., the sobriety, the fellowship, the faith in God, and the trying to help each other, is the most natural way we could possibly live. Do I believe it's the way God wants me to live? Meditation For The Day I will learn to overcome myself, because every blow to selfishness is used to shape the real, eternal, unperishable me. As I overcome myself, I gain that power which God releases in my soul. And I too will be victorious. It is not the difficulties of life that I have to conquer, so much as my own selfishness. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may obey God and walk with Him and listen to Him. I pray that I may strive to overcome my own selfishness. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Newcomer Problems, p. 14 The temptation is to become rather possessive of newcomers. Perhaps we try to give them advice about their affairs which we aren't really competent to give or ought not give at all. Then we are hurt and confused when the advice is rejected, or when it is accepted and brings still greater confusion. << << << >> >> >> "You can't make a horse drink water if he still prefers beer or is too crazy to know what he does want. Set a pail of water beside him, tell him how good it is and why, and leave him alone. "If people really want to get drunk, there is, so far as I know, no way stopping this--so leave them alone and let them get drunk. But don't exclude them from the water pail, either." 1. 12 & 12, p. 111 2. Letter, 1942 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places If God be for us___Good Orderly Directions Sometimes we find help and power in staying sober, yet feel naked and alone when facing other problems. It is almost as if we see our Higher Power as a "sobering-up God" who has said, "I'll help you with drinking problem, but you're on your own in everything else. The true way to practice AA's principles in all of our affairs is to view everything as spiritual, as being under God's direction and influence. God is with us in our homes, in the shop, on the highway, or wherever we go. There is no place and no action that is beyond God's scrutiny and power. We should reflect on this truth at times when we are frustrated or when others threaten us. We should not expect God to aid us in manipulating or dominating others. God will be with us as a protecting, guiding presence in all our activities and relationships. And when we truly understand this, we will find surprising reserves of courage in situations that used to frighten u s. This is true even when we are not ceratin of the outcome of a situation. I will know that God is with me in all of my affairs today, in all that I think, say, or do. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If you play with a thing long enough, you will surely break it.---Anonymous Some things shouldn't be played with. Our recovery program is one these things. When we play with our program, we're taking a risk. We play with the program by missing meetings. Or by not calling our sponsors. Or by skipping the Steps we think are to hard. It's okay to play. But it's not okay to play with our program, we risk our lives. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect. Action for the Day: Today, I'll make two list. On one list, I'll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I'll write ways I play with my program. And I'll put my energy into working the program. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominant regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated. --Viola Spolin Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is. In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets. Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give. Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours. I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn’t so. In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another. Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all. We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon. pp. 99-100 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I was ten years old when I had my first drink of alcohol. On New year's Eve I stole two glasses of vodka from my parents. I can't say that it did what it was supposed to do, for I got deathly sick, threw up, and I had diarrhea. The next day I was full of fear that my parents would find out. I learned my lesson for a while. p. 495 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." With each passing day of our lives, may every one of us sense more deeply the inner meaning of A.A. simple prayer: God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can, And wisdom to know the difference. p. 125 ************************************************** ********* You cannot think your way into sober living. You live your way into sober thinking. I embrace the beauty of life, and depend deeply upon God. --Shelley "You Can't Change The Wind, But You Can Adjust Your Sails..." Make This Day Shine. --Carol Anne Without Gods inner source of enlightenment and refreshment, I would soon stagnate and feel despair. --Shelley God is my constant companion and comfort. --JReid51546 I faithfully, trustfully, have acceptance for God's will, and I therefore find serenity. --Shelley ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation RESPONSIBILITY "The fault is in us." -- Hannah Arendt As a drunk I would blame everybody for my problems: My family was too controlling. I did not have people around who understood me. I worked too hard and the people were too demanding. The weather was awful! Today I accept my involvement with my past predicament. Bad things happened to me because I created them in my life. And this means that good and creative things can also happen in my life if I create them. I need not remain the problem. I can be the solution! Let me discover Your answer in my response to life. ************************************************** ********* "As servants of God, live as free people." 1 Peter 1:16 "Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces." Isaiah 25:8 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Home should be the happiest place to be. Fill it with love, laughter and good conversation. Lord, give us Your peace and teach us to share it. Faith grows by speaking daily with God. Lord, You teach me Your promises when times are good so that I will be able to trust in You when times are hard. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today A Loving God " Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us.... The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring, and greater than ourselves." Basic Text, p. 24 We've been told that we can believe in any kind of Higher Power we want as long as it is loving and, of course, greater than ourselves. Some of us, however, have trouble with these requirements. We either believe in nothing but ourselves, or we believe that anything that could be called "God" could only be cold-hearted and unreasonable, sending us bad luck on a whim. Believing in a loving Power is quite a leap for some of us, for many reasons. The thought of turning our will and lives over to the care of something we think might hurt us is sure to fill us with reluctance. If we come into the program believing that God is judgmental and unforgiving, we must overcome those beliefs before we can be truly comfortable with the Third Step. Our positive experiences in recovery can help us come to believe in a loving God of our own understanding. We have been given relief from a disease that has afflicted us for a long time. We've found the guidance and support we need to develop a new way of life. We've begun to experience a fullness of spirit where once there was only emptiness. These aspects of our recovery have their source in a loving God, not a harsh, hateful one. And the more we experience recovery, the more we'll trust that loving Higher Power. Just for today: I will open my mind and my heart to believe that God is loving, and trust my loving Higher Power to do for me what I cannot do for myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The universe is made up of stories, not atoms. --Muriel Rukeyser There was once a storyteller who told many people of her life. They listened and heard their own stories in hers. Hearing her story, they didn't feel so lonely anymore. Hearing about someone else who had lost things and people she loved, who had felt lonely, scared, and unsure of herself, let them feel less crazy when similar things happened to them. Because of the healing they felt through hearing someone else's story, some of the listeners decided to become storytellers themselves. As they recounted their stories, they found that letting out secrets that had bothered them for years freed them to feel good about who they were and who they had always wanted to be. What secrets can I share today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If I am not for myself, who is for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when? --Hillel Some of us were treated badly as young boys and never learned how to live for ourselves. We can see only two choices: either be submissive and caretaking or be abusive and demanding. Many of us have so much guilt and shame that we feel we don't deserve to stand up for ourselves. This program demands that in recovery we be for ourselves. If we don't know how, we learn. If we are unsure, we must experiment. When we make mistakes, we must admit them and know we have a right to be imperfect learners. And we can't be only for ourselves, because that keeps us small and turns us back to where we came from. As we accept ourselves and come to know our imperfections and weaknesses, we can understand others better. We are stronger in giving to others and more effective because we have a place to stand. Today, even if I don't feel good about myself, I will stand up for my dignity as a man. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominant regulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our personal freedoms are dissipated. --Viola Spolin Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However, needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is. In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else's drum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets. Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit. Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure, spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life what is ours to give. Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we need to rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval we could hope for will be ours. I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's will guarantees it. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Accepting Anger Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way -- or else repress it. --Codependent No More If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it. In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it. Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to. Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions. I am clearing out old confusion and doubt so that I can see the miracle today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Release Your Fears The Royal Gorge Bridge in Colorado is the world’s highest suspension bridge. Visiting it was a significant part of my journey, an important turning point. Spanning a section of the Grand Canyon of the Arkansas River, the bridge is constructed of small wooden slats. You can drive across or you can walk it, peering down through the slats to see the river 1,050 feet below. When I reached the park surrounding the bridge, I parked my car, grabbed my backpack, and got out to walk across the bridge. I neared the bridge, then turned around. I was too afraid to walk across, certain I’d blow off. I decided to drive. I returned to the jeep, drove to the bridge, but stopped again. I backed up, drove back to the toll booth, and hailed the man working inside. “Will I be fine?” I said. He looked at me strangely. “Will I be fine?” I repeated. He finally got it. “You’ll be fine,” he said with a smile. I drove back to the bridge. Inch by inch, I drove the car across the wooden slats. I was afraid to look to the right or left. Afraid to look down. Afraid to look. Afraid not to look… I never knew how much fear was in me until I drove across the bridge. And to get back, I had to turn the jeep around and drive across the bridge once more. Sometimes, we’re so afraid we don’t know how afraid we are. Sometimes, we carry so much fear that it interferes with our ability to enjoy life. Feel and release your fears. See how needless they are? See how they keep you from enjoying life? Unclench your hands. Don’t always look straight ahead. Experience. Adventure. Let yourself live. As the man said, “You’ll be fine.” ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say yes to yourself Are you balanced? Do you share your time, you energy, your life, as much with yourself as you do with those around you? We all know how simple it is to say “yes,yes,yes” each time someone makes a request. After all, it makes us feel good, makes us feel needed, makes us feel loved. And the more we say yes, the more they ask of us. And we tell ourselves this is an example of even more love. But soon we say yes to too many things. We get bitter about our relationships. Can’t they do anything for themselves? Nothing would get done around here if it weren’t for me. Isn’t there anyone else who can help? After a while, things don’t get done, promises go unfulfilled, relationships break down. And so do we. It doesn’t have to be that way. Know your limits. You are one of the most important people you need to look after and love. Balance your time, your energy, your life with those around you. You will be able to give more freely and joyfully as a result, and you’ll be more open to the gifts of the universe. It’s not wrong to give to others. But it’s okay to say yes to ourselves,too. God, help me live a balanced life. Help me learn when it’s time to say yes to myself. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I admitted that I couldn’t win the booze and chemical battle on my own. So I finally began to accept the critically important fact that dependence on a Higher Power could help me achieve what had always seemed impossible. I stopped running. I stopped fighting. For the first time, I began accepting. And for the first time, I began to be really free. Do I realize that it doesn’t matter what kind of shoes I’m wearing when I’m running away? Today I Pray May I know the freedom that comes with surrender to a Higher Power — that most important kind of surrender that means neither “giving in” nor “giving up” but “giving over” my will to the will of God. Like a weary fugitive from spiritual order, may I stop hiding, dodging, running. May I find peace in surrender, in the knowledge that God wills hat I be whole and healthy and He will show me the way. Today I Will Remember First surrender, then serenity. ***************************************** One More Day Ill health of body or of mind, is defeat. Health alone is victory. Let all men, if they can manage it, contrive to be healthy. – Thomas Carlyle This message, on the surface, could be upsetting to people who are chronically ill. Can we be sick and healthy at the same time? We learn that we can. Even if we have an ongoing health need, we can still create a new frame of reference which allows us to be as healthy as we can. Rather than letting our problems run us into the ground, we can make the opposite choice. We can choose balance in our lives, by deciding to put the problem in its place as only one facet of our lives. At the moment we decide, at the moment we make a conscious decision to be a fighter, we will be striving toward wellness once again. By constructively choosing to keep a strong attitude emotionally and physically, I will be on the road to balanced health. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ RECOVERY ~ Survival is nothing more than recovery. Dianne Feinstein As a very young child, I had a loving relationship with my Higher Power. I talked to God all the time about the things I didn't understand. I asked for His help in making me a better person, daughter, granddaughter, etc. Then, as happens in dysfunctional families, things got worse. Being the youngest, I became the scapegoat for people who didn't know how to express anger and pain properly. I, too, learned inappropriate ways to express my feelings. I also began to turn against my Higher Power. Why wasn't He helping me? Why was He letting me be so unhappy? Why wasn't He answering my prayers? Why hadn't I awakened thin yet? It took me many years to destroy my relationship with God, but thankfully, it only took a few years of the Twelve Step program for me to rediscover my former relationship with Him. As my eating disorders have been lessened and abstinence has become the norm in my life, I am very grateful for the Higher Power in my life today. I truly feel as if I've gained something I once lost. Thanks to recovery, I've also gained things I never had or don't remember having. I have a peace, serenity, acceptance, understanding and love that I can never remember experiencing before. The more I trust in my Higher Power, the more rewards of recovery become mine. One Day at a Time . . . I will work my program and be grateful for the level of recovery I'm currently experiencing. When I feel a lack of growth within myself, I will look at how far I've come and trust that my growth is in my Higher Power's time, not mine. ~ Rhonda H. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Alcoholics Anonymous is not a religious organization. Neither does A.A. take any particular medical point of view, though we cooperate widely with the men of medicine as well as with the men of religion. - Pg. XX - Forward To The Second Edition - 4th. Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Our 12 steps are dedicated primarily to the cultivation of principle in the befuddled addict's mind. Spiritual soundness leads to mental soundness. Even though we don't understand the process of our program to stop our cravings, we must trust that IT WORKS. I look at those around me, at their success and know that this process WORKS even if it isn't clear how. Golden Moments I will pay attention to guidance from within and without. There are moments when I know I am doing what lights my spirit and challenges me. Moments when I feel alive and in tune; in touch with a force beyond me that is guiding me towards something that's right for me. Those moments are golden. They carry me through my fears and hard times, they sustain me when inevitable doubts creep in, they give me strength to carry on and stay on course. I will hold inspiration close to me heart. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It's hard to believe that this simple program can work for us. But it does. We see it each time an old timer celebrates a birthday, a newcomer picks up a token, or a former skid row drunk reaches out to help an alcoholic doctor that has hit his first meeting in desperation. Believe. I make believe until I can believe. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book They say that you need only one meeting a week but it might be a good idea to go to one every night so you don't miss the one you need! Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am clearing out old confusion and doubt so that I can see the miracle today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Spending money I don't have, buying things I don't need, to impress people I don't know. - Norm A. |
January 15
Daily Reflections AN UNSUSPECTED INNER RESOURCE With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 569-70 >From my first days in A.A., as I struggled for sobriety, I found hope in these words from our founders. I often pondered the phrase: "they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource." How, I asked myself, can I find the Power within myself, since I am so powerless? In time, as the founders promised, it came to me: I have always had the choice between goodness and evil, between unselfishness and selfishness, between serenity and fear. That Power greater than myself is an original gift that I did not recognize until I achieved daily sobriety through living A.A.'s Twelve Steps. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The A.A. program is a way of life. It's a way of living and we have to learn to live the program if we're going to stay sober. The twelve steps in the book are like guide posts. They point the direction in which we have to go. But each member of the group has to find his own best way of living the program. We don't all do it exactly alike. Whether by quiet times in the morning, meetings, working with others, or spreading the word, we have to learn to live the program. Has A.A. become my regular, natural way of living? Meditation For The Day I will relax and not get tense. I will have no fear, because everything will work out in the end. I will learn soul-balance and poise in a vacillating, changing world. I will claim God's power and use it because if I do not use it, it will be withdrawn. As long as I get back to God and replenish my strength after each task, no work can be too much. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may relax and that God's strength will be given to me. I pray that I may subject my will to God's will and be free from all tenseness. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Eternal Values, p. 15 Many people will have no truck at all with absolute spiritual values. Perfectionists, they say, are either full of conceit because they fancy they have reached some impossible goal, or else they are swamped in self-condemnation because they have not done so. Yet I think that we should not hold this view. It is not the fault of great ideas that they are sometimes misused and so become shallow excuses for guilt, rebellion, and pride. On the contrary, we cannot grow very much unless we constantly try to envision what the eternal spiritual values are. << << << >> >> >> "Day by day, we try to move a little toward God's perfection. So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt for failure to achieve His likeness and image by Thursday next. Progress is our aim, and His perfection is the beacon, light-years away, that draws us on." 1. Grapevine, June 1961 2. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Never too late___Self expression Many of us lament the fact that we wasted youthful years when we should have been earning college degrees or perfecting a skill. Many of us simply do not feel we can take up something new because we missed the opportunity to try it when we were younger. We are now learning that age is mental, not really physical. Some people seem aged and beaten at twenty-five, while others act sprightly and young at sixty. Moreover, we can find wonderful examples of people who blossom out in new activities without any thought or concern about age barriers. It is never too late for a person to study, to take up a new trade or profession, to follow a new scientific or artistic interest, or to begin other lessons. If we are using age as a reason for not following our heart's desire, we should ask if we are really finding ways to avoid responsibility for our own performance in life. We may be seeking excuses to spare ourselves the struggle and effort tha tare always required when we do something new or challenging. It is never too late to be the people God intended us to be. I will give some thought today to the excuses I've been using for not making better use of my talents and opportunities. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Don not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day. --Albert Camus "Later." How often have we said this? This trick help us avoid the tasks of the day. Life is full of task--many fun, some boring, others hard. Can I accept the task my Higher Power gives me, easy or hard? When we used alcohol or other drugs, we'd avoid task, if they became hard for us. We believed we had more control than we really did. We started to believe we could control outcomes. What we really were doing was setting ourselves up for a great fall. We had to face the fact that when our Higher Power had given us a task, we said no, and turned away. Thus, we turned away from the guiding hand of our Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: God, help me face You and the tasks You give me. Make me a grateful student of life. Today's Action: Today I will talk with friends. I will tell them what tasks I'm working on. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Everything is so dangerous that nothing is really very frightening. --Gertrude Stein Life is full of dangers and risks and challenges. We can choose to meet them fearfully or in a spirit of welcome. To choose fear, to say, "I won't take that risk because I might lose," is to prevent ourselves from ever winning. If we welcome the danger, the risk, or the challenge, we acknowledge that life is made up of losses as well as victories, of gains as well as pain. Life holds the dangers as well as the rewards. We choose how we will act. Sometimes we may feel trapped in a cycle of fearfulness. If we examine our own part, will we find that we are neglecting to take a balanced view? Perhaps, through a fear of losing, we are missing many chances for satisfaction. I will remember: I have the power to choose what my attitude will be toward this day's offerings. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances! p. 100 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. A few years later, in junior high school, a few friends and I got a bottle of rum from a bootlegger. I got really drunk, and it was great. I remember having a feeling of complete freedom. I drank for the next fifteen years. Drinking became a major part of my life and I thought it was normal. Then came the violence, the fighting, the illegal acts, and the image of "the tough guy." My family was proud of me, and some relatives would actually encourage me. p. 495 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity." The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous it the most cherished quality our Society has. Our lives, the lives of all to come, depend squarely upon it. We stay whole, or A.A. dies. Without unity, the heart of A.A. would cease to beat; our world arteries would no longer carry the life-giving grace of God; His gift to us would be spent aimlessly. Back again in their caves, alcoholics would reproach us and say, "What a great thing A.A. might have been!" p. 129 ************************************************** ********* What are you going through in your life right now? Don't feel you're the only one. Open your eyes. Open your heart to your connections with your larger family. Let them share their stories with you. Let them share their strengths, hopes, fears, and joys. Stop looking for what's different and what makes you separate and apart. Go on an adventure of discovering your common bonds. --Melody Beattie "Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level." --Max L. Forman "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." --Aldous Huxley Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God. --Diana Robinson "What do you think of God," the teacher asked. After a pause, the young pupil replied, "He's not a think, he's a feel." --Paul Frost I must respect the opinions of others even if I disagree with them. --Herbert Henry Lehman ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation POPULARITY "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity, opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment." -- Albert Einstein Part of my growth in sobriety is learning to say "no". For years as a practicing alcoholic I tried to please every body with the result that I pleased very few and became exhausted in the process! I have learned that sometimes I need to be unpopular in order to remain serene; unpopular to practice my spiritual program. To understand the gift of God's creation requires the acceptance that we are not the same and, as people, we will have different opinions and attitudes. Truth has many shades. To be unpopular at times is reality; truth is always real. I pray that I might always say and do what I believe to be right, regardless of public opinion. ************************************************** ********* "Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105 "The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." Galatians 6:8-10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Prayer is a great source of joy and the best protection from depression. When we talk, Lord, You help me see solutions for a better day. Actions have consequences. Lord, may my actions not create difficulties, but rather bring peace and joy to my life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Fear " We grow to feel comfortable with our Higher Power as a source of strength. As we learn to trust this Power, we begin to overcome our fear of life." Basic Text, p. 24 Powerless as we are, living on self-will is a frightening, unmanageable experience. In recovery, we have turned our will and our lives safely over to the care of the God of our understanding. When we lapse in our program, when we lose conscious contact with our Higher Power, we begin to take control of our own lives again, refusing the care of the God of our understanding. If we do not make a daily decision to surrender our lives to the care of our Higher Power, we may become overwhelmed with our fear of life. Through working the Twelve Steps, we've found that faith in a Power greater than ourselves helps relieve our fear. As we draw closer to a loving God, we become more conscious of our Higher Power. And the more conscious we are of God's care for us, the less our fears. When we feel afraid, we ask ourselves, "Is this fear an indication of a lack of faith in my life? Have I taken control again, only to find my life still unmanageable?" If we answer yes to these questions, we can overcome our fear by turning our will and our lives back over to care of the God of our understanding. Just for today: I will rely on the care of my Higher Power to relieve my fear of life. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Always remember that no matter what the problem may be, there is an infinity of solutions. --Marion Weinstein A girl named Iris was tormented by the boys at school. Whenever she walked by they would make rude noises. Sometimes, when no one was looking, they would block her way and not let her go home. She was too inexperienced at taking care of herself to realize that believing she couldn't do anything made it true. Feeling helpless kept her from thinking about what she might do. One day she got so scared that she told her best friend what was happening. Together they began to think of all sorts of things she could do. Knowing she could do something took away the helpless feeling, and the boys noticed and stopped teasing her. It wasn't fun for them anymore. We often feel helpless in situations that seem too much for us to handle. In fact, help is always available--through friends and family, and through God, who helps us see how we can help ourselves. All we have to do is stop being distracted by that helpless feeling and ask for what we need. Can I see the many solutions to my problems today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. --Italian proverb Much of our time has been spent saying, "I'm not good enough for that job," "She's too good for me," or "1 don't deserve that compliment." Sometimes we have been very status conscious because underneath we felt unworthy. Many of us have taken either superior or inferior roles with everyone we've dealt with. We ended up with no one who could be our peer or our friend. True humility occurs when we stop shaming or inflating ourselves and begin accepting ourselves as no worse and no better than anyone else. Then all people are our peers. At our meetings, our powerlessness puts us all in the same box. In the sight of God we are all equal - and status games, which have seemed so important are ultimately silly. Today, I will remember we are all brothers and sisters in the sight of God. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Everything is so dangerous that nothing is really very frightening. --Gertrude Stein Life is full of dangers and risks and challenges. We can choose to meet them fearfully or in a spirit of welcome. To choose fear, to say, "I won't take that risk because I might lose," is to prevent ourselves from ever winning. If we welcome the danger, the risk, or the challenge, we acknowledge that life is made up of losses as well as victories, of gains as well as pain. Life holds the dangers as well as the rewards. We choose how we will act. Sometimes we may feel trapped in a cycle of fearfulness. If we examine our own part, will we find that we are neglecting to take a balanced view? Perhaps, through a fear of losing, we are missing many chances for satisfaction. I will remember: I have the power to choose what my attitude will be toward this day's offerings. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Standing Up for Ourselves We learn some behaviors have self-defeating consequences, while others have beneficial consequences. We learn we have choices. --Beyond Codependency It is so easy to come to the defense of others. How clear it is when others are being used, controlled, manipulated, or abused. It is so easy to fight their battles, become righteously indignant, rally to their aid, and spur them on to victory. "You have rights," we tell them. "And those rights are being violated. Stand up for yourself, without guilt." Why is it so hard, then, for us to rally to our own behalf? Why can't we see when we are being used, victimized, lied to, manipulated, or otherwise violated? Why is it so difficult for us to stand up for ourselves? There are times in life when we can walk a gentle, loving path. There are times, however, when we need to stand up for ourselves - when walking the gentle, loving path puts us deeper into the hands of those who could mistreat us. Some days, the lesson we're to be learning and practicing is one of setting boundaries. Some days, the lesson we're learning is that of fighting for our own rights and ourselves. Sometimes, the lesson won't stop until we do. Today, I will rally to my own cause. I will remember that it is okay to stand up for myself when that action is appropriate. Help me, God, to let go of my need to be victimized. Help me appropriately, and with confidence, stand up for myself. I celebrate myself today. I am alive. I am growing. I am willing to do all I am able to do to be the best of who I am. --Ruth Fishel ***** Journey to the Heart You're Free to Follow Your Heart No one has taken your freedom away. You may have relinquished it for reasons known or unknown. But you've always been free-- free to choose. And you have been choosing, whether or not you have been conscious of your choices. For many years, you chose not to be free. Then you felt stifled, so you groused and rebelled. That was an important part of your journey. It helped you break out of your prison, loosened the chains around you. Now you see the truth. You have always been free. Celebrate the breaking of the chains. Celebrate your freedom. And share it joyfully with others. Tell yourself, tell others,too, that you're free to trust and follow your own heart. ***** more language of letting go Discipline yourself to let go It may sound odd, but the way to give up being over controlled is to become more disciplined about letting go. --Stella Resnick, The Pleasure Zone I was sitting at home worrying one day when a friend called. He asked how I was. I told him I was worrying. Actually, I was crossing the line into obsessing about something that was going on in my life then. "There's nothing you can do about it," he said. "Just relax. It's out of your control." What my friend was really talking about was practicing the discipline of letting go. After I hung up the phone, I deliberately put my worries and obsessions aside. I surrendered to the way things were. I simply relaxed. It was like a miracle. I was able to move forward with my life. When we begin letting go, it may seem almost impossible just to relax and let go. As with anything else, with practice and repetition, we will become more skilled. That doesn't mean we won't need to remember to do it. It just means letting go will become easier, in time. If you've become highly skilled at worrying, obsessing, or trying to control, deliberately practice relaxing and letting go until you're good at that,too. God, help me make the discipline of relaxing and letting go a daily part of my life. Teach me to let go with poise, dignity, and ease. ***** A Day at a Time Reflection for the Day I must never forget who and what I am and where I come from. I have to remember the nature of my illness and what it was like before I came to The Program. I’ll try to keep the memory green, yet not spend my time dwelling morbidly on the past. I won’t be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to others, so others will give to me. Can I ever afford to forget what it used to be like, even for one minute? Today I Pray May I never forget the painful days of my addiction. May I never forget that the same misery awaits me if I should slip back into the old patterns. At the same time, may such backwards glances serve only to bolster my own present strength and the strength of others like me. Please, God, do not let me dredge up these recollections in order to outdo or “out-drunk” my fellow members. Like others who are chemically dependent, I must be wary of my desire to be center stage in the spotlight. Today I Will Remember I do more when I don’t “outdo.” ***************************************** One More Day The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. – Pearl S. Buck We all enjoy going out to dinner or to a movie. Some of us who are not well, however, choose to become stay-at-homes. Our reasons are many, and one big reason is we don’t want to be stared at or singled out as different. But, in hiding from the stares, we also hide from ourselves. We don’t want to put ourselves on the line, but we must if we are to become “public” once again. It may mean using a cane or a brace; it may mean utilizing some of the fine adaptive living aids invented to help us. It’s a hard decision, but not as hard as being alone and staying at home. It takes tremendous inner strength to venture from the protective cocoon of my home. I have the same inner strength as always, and I can use it to survive tough times. ***************************************** One Day At A Time GOD OF MY UNDERSTANDING “I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us." John Lennon Like many people, I originally came to Program primarily seeking help with my compulsive overeating. My main concern was to gain control of my weight and my appetite. I was expecting some kind of diet program, but I found something quite different. I already considered myself religious and didn't think I needed much help in this area. I also wasn't particularly interested in working on my shortcomings, but I was willing to overlook these "problem" areas of Program because I was so desperate for help. Well, I did get my weight and appetite under control, but I got much more than that. Program's concept of being able to work with a God of my own understanding may have been the most radical and personally-enlightening theological tidbit I've ever had the pleasure of tripping over. It changed everything I thought I knew about spirituality and God. Through this shift in my understanding, my Higher Power began to change me and help me with my COE by gradually removing all of my past baggage and encumbrances. Even though I've now reached my recovery goals, my purification continues daily, as does my spiritual growth. I went searching for a diet that actually worked and instead found a whole new way of life. Whoda thunk? One day at a time... I will continue to nurture my relationship with the God Of MY Understanding by working the tools of recovery. ~ Rob. ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully. - Pg. 65 - How It Works - 3rd. and 4th. Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Another day of sobriety begins. Continue to welcome with open arms, those now with less time than you. We DO one kind thing each day for someone: get them a cup of coffee, escort a newcomer to a chair, empty an ashtray after a meeting. God, as I understand You, show me each day some kind thing I can DO for someone else. Loving Myself through Action I want to do something special for myself today. Giving to others and withholding from myself doesn't work. I tend to treat other people the way that I treat myself. If I am stingy with me, I will, somewhere along the line, act that out with other people. If I am hard on myself, I will tend to be hard on others. I am the only person who is with me all hours of the day and I know what feels good and warm to me. I know what makes me feel sustained from within. Today, I will encourage, support and congratulate myself. Each time I do something that pleases me I'll say 'thank you' to myself. Each time I do something well, I'll tell myself 'good job.' I will be my own best cheerleader. I will encourage and support myself. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Self will and 'running the show' can be like the monkey who sticks his hand into the trap for food. He grasps the food tightly creating a fist that won't slide out the trap door. The monkey struggles but won't release the food and he is trapped. Holding tight to your will and your way can be the fist that traps you. I Let Go and Let God. What a relief. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you're thinking about going to a meeting, go to the meeting, and then think about it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I celebrate myself today. I am alive. I am growing. I am willing to do all I am able to be the best of who I am. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote 'I liked you better when you were drinking.' 'I liked you better when I was drinking too!' - Anon. |
January 16
Daily Reflections HITTING BOTTOM Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24 Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my training wheels and my supporting hand. It's not that I wanted the help so much at the time; I simply did not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful than my desire to drink. In the beginning that was what kept me sober. But after a while I found myself working the Steps to the best of my ability. I soon realized that my attitudes and actions were changing - if ever so slightly. One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal. Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The A.A. program is more a way of building a new life than just a way of getting over drinking, because in A.A. we don't just stop drinking. We did that plenty of times in the old days when we went "on the wagon." And, of course, we always started to drink again, because we were only waiting for the time when we could fall off. Once we've gotten sober through the A.A. program, we start going uphill. In our drinking days, we were going downhill, getting worse and worse. We either go down or up. Am I going uphill, getting better and better? Meditation For The Day I will try to obey God's will day in and day out, in the wilderness plains as well as on the mountaintops of experience. It is in the daily strivings that perseverance counts. I believe that God is Lord of little things, the Divine Controller of little happenings. I will persevere in this new way of life. I know that nothing in the day is too small to be a part of God's scheme. Prayer For The Day I pray that the little stones which I put into the mosaic of my life may make a worthwhile pattern. I pray that I may persevere and so find harmony and beauty. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Never Again!, p. 16 "Most people feel more secure on the twenty-four-hour basis than they do in the resolution that they will never drink again. Most of them have broken too many resolutions. It's really a matter of personal choice; every A.A. has the privilege of interpreting the program as he likes. "Personally, I take the attitude that I intend never to drink again. This is somewhat different from saying, 'I will never drink again.' The latter attitude sometimes gets people in trouble because it is undertaking on a personal basis to do what we alcoholics never could do. It is too much an act of will and leaves too little room for the idea that God will release us from the drink obsession provided we follow the A.A. program." Letter, 1949 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Material things matter The Money Problem Now and then we have heated discussions about the role of material things in sobriety. Someone is bound to say that money can't buy happiness and that the spiritual has to come first. But material things do matter in our lives, and we share with others the same desire to get ahead in life. We usually like good clothes, new cars, and steady pay checks. It is somewhat hypocritical to say that money and material things don't matter when we obviously need money and would like to have more of it. Our problem with money and material things occurred when we made a god of them, when we saw worldly success as the end-all and be-all of life. The proper function of money is to provide for smooth exchange of the goods and services we must use in order to live. Far from denouncing spiritual gifts that should be used properly, but not worshipped. More than likely, we can appreciate material things far more than we did while drinking, despite the exaggerated love we had then for worldly things. I will neither despise material things nor make a god of them today. I will view them as part of God's plan, as things to use. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us.---Eric Hoffer It's tempting to blame others for our problems. Recovery asks us to answer for our actions. Admitting we are powerless over our actions. Admitting we are powerless over our alcohol and other drugs is a start. Each of the Twelve Steps asks us to answer for our actions in some way. And the program shows us how to do this. Over time, we see that being responsible for our actions is the best way to live. Our self-confidence grows as we become more responsible. We start to see just how much we can do. We have gone from being drunks to being responsible people. If we can do this, then we can do anything! Prayer for the Day: I pray to remember that I'm responsible for my actions. Blaming puts distance between me and other people. Higher Power, help me to play fair. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list four times I've blamed someone else for a problem that was really my problem. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I feel we have picked each other from the crowd as fellow-travelers, for neither of us is to the other's personality the end-all and the be-all. --Joanna Field We must look around at the people in our lives today, and know that we have something special to offer each of them, and they to us. We do travel separate paths together. We may need to learn tolerance; perhaps a friend's behavior pushes us to be more tolerant. Impatience may be our nemesis, and everywhere we turn are lines, slow cash registers, traffic jams. Our experiences with others aren't chance. Fellow travelers are carefully selected by the inner self, the spiritual guide who understands our needs in this life. We are both the teachers and the pupils. We need both our friends and those we may label our enemies for what they can help us learn. I will carefully look about me today with gladness at the travelers I've selected to learn from. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do. But urge upon a man’s family that he has been a very sick person and should be treated accordingly. You should warn against arousing resentment or jealousy. You should point out that his defects of character are not going to disappear over night. Show them that he has entered upon a period of growth. Ask them to remember, when they are impatient, the blessed fact of his sobriety. p. 100 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I spent a number of years in and out of juvenile correctional facilities, and after my eighteenth birthday, I began spending time in county jail. I actually got a high when I came home, knowing that my friends and relatives would respect me more because I had been in jail and was becoming a man. p. 495 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity." "Does this mean," some will anxiously ask, "that in A.A. the individual doesn't count for much? Is he to be dominated by his group and swallowed up in it?" We may certainly answer this question with a loud "No!" We believe there isn't a fellowship on earth which lavishes more devoted care upon its individual members; surely there is none which more jealously guards the individual's right to think, talk, and act as he wishes. No A.A. can compel another to do anything; nobody can be punished or expelled. Our Twelve Steps to recovery are suggestions; the Twelve Traditions which guarantee A.A.'s unity contain not a single "Don't." They repeatedly say "We ought . . ." but never "You must!" p. 129 ************************************************** ********* "Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides." --Margaret Thatcher "Sharing what you have is more important than what you have." --Albert M. Wells, Jr. "Oh...I listen a lot and talk less. You can't learn anything when you're talking." --Bing Crosby Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul. --Saint Augustine The alcoholic is in no greater peril than when he takes sobriety for granted. F E A R = Face Everything And Recover. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PROCRASTINATION "You cannot build a reputation on things you are going to do." -- Mabel Newcomber Procrastination is the addicts' game. I will give up alcohol tomorrow. Soon I will take an inventory of my eating habits. Later I will talk to him about my anger and pain. Tomorrow and tomorrow --- but it never happens! The tragedy is that we not only bring pain and problems into our lives but we keep them there. Recovery requires action; sobriety and the spiritual program demand movement. Today I will talk about my pain. ************************************************** ********* The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down. Psalm 146:8 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When we hand over what we can't handle to the One who can, miracles happen. Keep me free of stress, Lord, and in the best possible place to receive Your help. There is no personal problem that you cannot solve. Lord, Your presence within me is all power. You are my help in every need. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Make That Call! " We feared that if we ever revealed ourselves as we were, we would surely be rejected.... [But] our fellow members do understand us." Basic Text, p. 31 We need our fellow NA members-their experience, their friendship, their laughter, their guidance, and much, much more. Yet many of us hesitate to call our sponsor or visit our NA friends. We don't want to impose on them. We think about phoning someone, but we don't feel worthy of their time. We fear that if they ever got to know us-really know us-they'd surely reject us. We forget that our fellow NA members are just like us. There's nothing we've done, no place we've been, no feeling we've felt that other recovering addicts won't be able to identify with. The more we let others get to know us, the more we'll hear, "You're in the right place. You're among friends. You belong. Welcome!" We also forget that, just as we need others, they need us. We're not the only ones who want to feel like we belong, who want to experience the warmth of friendship, who want someone to share with. If we isolate ourselves from our fellow members, we deprive them of something they need, something only we can give them: our time, our company, our true selves. In Narcotics Anonymous, recovering addicts care for one another. What waits at the other end of the telephone is not rejection, but the love, warmth, and identification of the NA Fellowship. Make that call! Just for today: In NA, I am among friends. I will reach out to others, giving and receiving in fellowship. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When you do something you are proud of, dwell on it a little, praise yourself for it. --Mildred Newman Each one of us is very good at something. Maybe it's baseball or tennis where we display talent. Maybe we're good in math or at giving reports. A few people are talented at being good listeners or helpful friends. To recognize our own talents we may need help from others. It's always so much easier to see our faults, or the ways we don't meet our own expectations. But the fact is we are all skilled in many areas of our lives. To accept praise--better yet, to quietly give it to ourselves--is a sign of healthy growth. What things have I done well lately? You are reading from the book Touchstones. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. --Ralph Waldo Emerson What good qualities lie within us? How do we choose to use them today? These simple questions point our way. Yet, on some days it seems so easy to get swept along with thoughts of future pain. And when we are not worrying about the future, we may fall into regrets about the past. Either way, we are distracted from our only opportunity to make a real difference - to be the kind of men we want to be in this moment, to learn from today's experiment in living. On this day, I will walk a little slower and will listen closely to the messages within me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I feel we have picked each other from the crowd as fellow-travelers, for neither of us is to the other's personality the end-all and the be-all. --Joanna Field We must look around at the people in our lives today, and know that we have something special to offer each of them, and they to us. We do travel separate paths together. We may need to learn tolerance; perhaps a friend's behavior pushes us to be more tolerant. Impatience may be our nemesis, and everywhere we turn are lines, slow cash registers, traffic jams. Our experiences with others aren't chance. Fellow travelers are carefully selected by the inner self, the spiritual guide who understands our needs in this life. We are both the teachers and the pupils. We need both our friends and those we may label our enemies for what they can help us learn. I will carefully look about me today with gladness at the travelers I've selected to learn from. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Prayer As a matter of fact, prayer is the only real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that changes one's character. A change in character, or a change in soul, is a real change. --Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount Erica Jong has said that we are spiritual beings who are human. Praying and meditating are ways we take care of our spirit. Prayer and meditation are disciplines suggested by the Eleventh Step of Twelve Step recovery programs: Al Anon, CoDa, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and others. Prayer and meditation are not necessarily connected to organized religion. Prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with a Higher Power to benefit our life, our growth, and us. Praying is how we connect with God. We don't pray because we have to; we pray because we want to. It is how we link our soul to our Source. We're learning to take care of our emotions, our mind, and our physical needs. We're learning to change our behaviors. But we're also learning to take care of our spirit, our soul, because that is where all true change begins. Each time we talk to God, we are transformed. Each time we connect with our Higher Power, we are heard, touched, and changed for the best. Today, I will practice prayer and meditation. Whether I feel desperate, uneasy, or peaceful, I will make the effort to connect with my Higher Power, at least for a moment today. Today I take the time to be with me and find peace and love and truth. It is mine if I just stop. It is mine if I just think the thoughts I want to feel. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart See How Happy You Are Most of us have very active imaginations. We have the power to visualize, to create in our minds what we cannot yet see with our eyes. The problem is that many of us use this power to visualize events we’d really rather not see. We conjure up all sorts of images about the bad, painful things that could happen. Maybe it’s time to use the potent, creative power of visualization to create picutres of all the good we would like to see in our lives. What would you like to see happen in your life? Create a picture you can see. The more real you make it, the better it will be. See yourself in the picture. Try to involve all your senses. Visualize yourself touching, hearing, speaking, smelling, feeling. Charge your picture with as much emotional energy as you can. Use any spare moments– stretched out on the sofa, in bed before you fall asleep, driving in your car, soaking in the tub– to create positive pictures for your life. Make a project out of it. Make a list, and keep it nearby. If you don’t know what to put on your list, ask yourself, ask God, ask the universe to help you, show you. See yourself doing all the things you’d like to do. Take the time to use your creative power of visualization to create the life you’d like. But above all, take the time to see yourself being happy. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Drop it How do you let go? I just can’t let go? It’s impossible to let go of this. These are thoughts that may run through our minds when we worry, dwell, and obsess. Pick up something around you. Pick up this book. Hold it tightly. Then just drop it. Release it. Let it fall right out of your hands. That’s what you do with whatever you’re obsessing and dwelling about. If you pick it up again, drop it one more time. See! Letting go is a skill that anyone can acquire. Passion and focus can lead us along our path and help us find our way. But obsession can mean we’ve crossed that line, again. We can be compassionate but firm with ourselves and others as we learn to release our tight grip and just let things go. God, help me know that if I’m obsessing about a problem, it’s not because I have to. Dropping it is always a choice available to me. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When we first came to The Program, whether for ourselves or under pressure from others, some of us were all but sickened by the concept of “surrender.” To admit defeat flew in the face of our life-long beliefs. We thought of the immoral rallying cities of Churchill at Dunkirk, of FDR following the attack of Pearl Harbor. And so we secretly vowed at first, that the very idea of surrender was unthinkable. Here I truly come to believe that only through utter defeat am I able to take the first steps toward liberation and strength? Or do I still harbor reservations about the principle of “letting go and letting God…”? Today I Pray May I really believe that the complete surrender of my whole being to a Higher Power is the way to serenity. For I can be whole only in Him, who has the power to make me whole. May I do away with of any feelings of wanting to “hold out” and never admit defeat. May I unlearn the old adage which tells me that I must “never give up” and realize that such pridefullness could keep me from recovery. Today I Will Remember From Wholly His to Whole. ***************************************** One More Day The future is an opaque mirror. Anyone who looks into it sees nothing but the dim outlines of an old and worried face. – Jim Bishop When we were young, our mirrors reflect our outer appearance. Later, mirrors seem to reflect also the inward self. Worry and joy can etch themselves into our facial expressions; anger or love can gaze out from our eyes. If we have refused to forgive, our bitterness stares back at us. If we have chosen to isolate ourselves, our loneliness is there. But if our choices have been openness, humor, and understanding — all of these clearly shine out for all to see. Each day , without realizing it, we are making choices for behaviors and thoughts that will help create either a serene and joyful face or an old and worried one. The choice is ours. Today, I choose healthy looks, actions and feelings. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FORGIVENESS ~ Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. Edwin Hubbel Chapin I want recovery from my disease of compulsive eating. Part of my program of recovery is asking forgiveness for past wrongs I've committed against other people. It isn't enough for me to make amends just to others, though. Another aspect of forgiveness is that of forgiving those around me. I need to forgive them for what they may have done to me. Many times people don't know that they've hurt me and maybe triggered a binge, because I've covered up the pain with food. But if I forgive them, then I don't have that pain that I thought could only be soothed with food. Finally, I need to forgive myself. I can be my harshest critic, and many times I, myself, have been the trigger for my binge. Besides, if I can find it in my heart to forgive others, then surely I can extend the same courtesy to myself. One day at a time... I will practice forgiveness in all its forms. Jeff ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. - Pg. 64 - How It Works - 3rd. and 4th. Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One of the things you will notice about our fellowship is that we hug a lot. Often this makes newcomers uncomfortable because they are not used to being given love and attention without serious strings attached. There are no strings, we just simply love you. Give me the courage to hug the next clean and sober person I see. Silver Linings I search for silver linings, for the deeper meaning of the events in my life. Life is my teacher if I can learn to read the subtle messages that are laced into the circumstances that I co-create around me. I will look for the lesson. When life offers up its inevitable challenges, I will try to understand what I am meant to see that I am not seeing, what I am meant to hear that I am not hearing, what I am meant to know that I am not knowing. There is always a silver lining if I look for it. Even if I don't see it readily, I trust that it is there and that it will reveal itself to me over time. Life isn't simple. One of the ways that I can grow from life's adversities, is to see what is positive about a difficult situation, to look for the silver lining. I can grow in joy and in pain. It doesn't need to be one or the other because pain can transform into joy. It can be the fire that clears the field for new and tender growth. There is always a silver lining. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Our program will work for people who believe in God. Our program will work for people who don't believe in God. Our program will not work for people who believe they are God. A God of my understanding, a God not of my understanding. God can simply be a 'Group Of Drunks' if I choose! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book With the 12 Steps, you have breakthroughs, not breakdowns. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I take the time to be with me and find peace and love and truth. It is mine if I just stop. It is mine if I just think the thoughts I want to feel. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote They say I'm the heart of AA. If that's true, then Dr Bob was it's soul. And the blood of my heart. - Bill W. ( On the day Dr. Bob died ) |
January 17
Daily Reflections HAPPINESS COMES QUIETLY "The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular order we wanted to get it - by the alcohol route. And we weren't successful. But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone." DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, p. 308 The simplicity of the A.A. program teaches me that happiness isn't something I can "demand." It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others. In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed, I find that my own sobriety has been recharged with indescribable gratitude and happiness. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day It doesn't do much good to come to meetings only once in a while and sit around, hoping to get something out of the program. That's all right at first, but it won't help us very long. Sooner or later we have to get into action, by coming to meetings regularly, by giving a personal witness of our experience with alcohol, and by trying to help other alcoholics. Building a new life takes all the energy that we used to spend on drinking. Am I spending at least as much time and effort on the new life that I'm trying to build in A.A.? Meditation For The Day With God's help, I will build a protective screen around myself which will keep out all evil thoughts. I will fashion it out of my attitude toward God and my attitude toward other people. When one worrying or impatient thought enters my mind, I will put it out at once. I know that love and trust are the solvents for the worry and frets of life. I will use them to form a protective screen around me. Prayer For The Day I pray that frets and impatience and worry may not corrode my protective screen against all evil thoughts. I pray that I may banish all these from my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Toward Honesty, p. 17 The perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one permeates human affairs from top to bottom. This subtle and elusive kind of selfish-righteousness can underlie the smallest act or thought. Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living. << << << >> >> >> The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. << << << >> >> >> Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. 1. 12 & 12, pp. 94-95 2. Grapevine, August 1961 3. 12 & 12, p. 60 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Avoiding AA Chauvism___Friendliness toward Others The term "chauvinism" has often been applied to men who are prejudiced toward women. But "chauvinism" has broader meanings as well. It is a belief in the alleged superiority of one's own nation or group. AA members can develop this peculiar chauvinism in supposing that there is some superiority in having survived alcoholism. In the past, some of us have been particularly critical of non-alcoholics who choose to work in the alcoholism field. We may have relied on the axiom "it takes an alcoholic to understand an alcoholic" when in fact there are many people who have suffered from other problems and can understand our sufferings. Perhaps one of the worst things about AA chauvinism is that it can offend people who could benefit from its principles and could become our allies in the work of helping alcoholics. While we have been highly successful in helping others, we still have not reached more than a small percentage of those who suffer. Additional breakthroughs are needed in the field of alcoholism, and the vital information might come from a non-alcoholic who empathizes with our suffering and wants to do something about it. Even AA has received some of its best ideas from non-alcoholics. I will know today that membership in AA really means that I've found a rightful place in a larger fellowship; The Human Race. I'll view the world as a friendly place. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When all else fails, read the instructions. Agnes Allen The instructions for recovery are in our Twelve Step program. Yet, there are times when we feel our program isn't working. at these times, we need to read the instructions. Have you followed the "instructions," the wise words are found in The Big Book, The Twelve and Twelve, and other recovery literature? When we do, we recover. It's hard at times, and easy at others. Our problems go deeper than just staying sober. No matter what our problems, our program can help us start fixing them, if we follow the instructions. Don't use alcohol or other drugs. Go to meeting. Talk often with sponsors and program friends. Work the Steps. Think. Easy Does It. First Things First. Listen. Let Go and Let God. One Day at a Time. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, tell me which instructions to read today. If I'm headed for trouble, help me out. Today's Action: I'll read the instructions today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. --Anas Nin How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations weren't initiated because we lacked confidence. The pain, the constant search for acceptance and love in the eyes and behavior of others, still haunts us. But those days are past. We are daring to be ourselves, one day at a time. Confidence still wavers on occasion, and we may need assurance that we're lovable. Gratefully, we can look to one another for the additional boost we may need to face the day. Being there for one another, knowing that we understand each other's fears as women offers the strength to go ahead that we may lack today or tomorrow. Today a woman may need me to dare to be herself. I will be there. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS If you have been successful in solving your own domestic problems, tell the newcomer’s family how that was accomplished. In this way you can set them on the right track without becoming critical of them. The story of how you and your wife settled your difficulties is worth any amount of criticism. p. 100 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. While in a juvenile detention center about 500 miles from my home, I received word that my mother was dying of cance. I was able to get a pass and return home to spend with her. One evening my family asked me if I would stay home with my mother and give her the medicine she was required to take. I had already had a few drinks and was anxious to get out and party with my friends, but I reluctantly agreed to stay. Self-pity set in, and all i could think of was the good time I could have been having. I got very impatient with my mother, when she refused to take her medicine, I almost forced it into her mouth; then I left to join my friends. The next morning I woke up in county jail, about 100 miles from home. I had attempted a break-and-enter, and was caught by the police. pp. 495-496 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity." To many minds all this liberty for the individual spells sheer anarchy. Every newcomer, every friend who looks at A.A. for the first time is greatly puzzled. They see liberty verging on license, yet they recognize at once that A.A. has an irresistible strength of purpose and action. "How," they ask, "can such a crowd of anarchists function at all? How can they possible place their common welfare first? What in Heaven's name holds them together?" pp. 129-130 ************************************************** ********* Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. --Carl Jung (1875 - 1961) The best portions of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts, of kindness and love. --William Wordsworth Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. --Helen Keller A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up. Nothing hath separated us from God but our own will, or rather our own will is our separation from God. --William Law Relinquish pain and suffering. Experience joy and serenity. Let go and move forward. --Deborah Ann Smith Love yourself. Accept yourself. Be honest about what heals and helps you. Then you'll bring your healing gifts to others. Your life will be a gift to the world. --Melody Beattie ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CREATIVITY "Creative intelligence in its various forms and activities is what makes man." -- James Harvey Robinson Spirituality is being a positive and creative human being in all areas of my life; this I know to be true today. I am not only creative, I am a creative human being. God created me to create. I am a part of His love for the world; through me great and wonderful events can happen. Although I am not divine, I know that I share divinity. I am special. But with this knowledge comes tremendous responsibility because things are only going to happen if I make them happen in my life. To know that I am creative does not make me creative. I have to do something, make something, create something in my life. Today I work at my life like a carpenter works at his wood. I chip away those things I do not want; I smooth down the rough areas of my life, and I polish up those things I want people to see. I accept responsibility for my creativity, and I thank God, on a daily basis, for it. Teach me, O Creator of the universe, to use my life as a tool for goodness, joy and truth. ************************************************** ********* "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God... Ephesians 2:8 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration God will put things in order if we are patient and prayerful. Lord, You know all of my needs and wants. I trust that You will provide. When we give in to fears and worries they will take charge of our lives. Lord, I place my trust in You so that I may experience every opportunity and not miss in life that which is meant for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Forgiveness " As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving. At least we know that we are no longer intentionally making life miserable for people." Basic Text, p. 38 In our addiction we often treated others badly, sometimes deliberately finding ways to make their lives miserable. in our recovery, we may still have a tendency to pass judgment on others' actions because we think we know how that person should behave. But as we progress in our recovery we often find that, to accept ourselves, we must accept those around us. It may be difficult to watch as someone's insanity manifests itself. But if we detach ourselves from the problem, we can start living in the solution. And if we feel affected by another's actions, we can extend the principle of forgiveness. Just for today: I will strive to forgive rather than be forgiven. I will try to act in such a way that I feel worthy of self-love. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Man cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. --Alexis Carrell A sculptor begins with an unformed piece of marble. He must be able to envision what he wants to create. Then, armed with tools and courage, he begins to chink away at the marble he does not need. Every day he examines how it looks and what he wants it to become. Every one of us who is trying to be a better person is like the sculptor. We envision who we want to be and what kind of qualities we believe in. Some of these qualities might be kindness, good self-esteem, the ability to love and feel loved. If we are honest, we must also look with the artist's eye at our faults. We might see some jealousy and resentment, or feelings of superiority. Our faults, human as they are, are like unwanted marble that keeps our most loving selves from taking shape. Carving away at our faults is hard work, and sometimes-even hurts. Yet we do not do this work alone--we can only do it with the help of our God. What can I chisel away today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Wherever I found the living, there I found the will to power. --Friedrich Nietzsche It has been said that addiction and codependency are problems of power. Recovery certainly calls us to admit the limits of our power. Yet, to reach for power seems to come from the deepest part of our nature. If this is so, can it be all bad? Men have used power in many ways for the good of all people. We have been defenders, protectors, and active community servants. At our best, we have taken strong stands for what was right. We need not shun all power, but rather we learn to use it wisely. Our blindness to the limitations of power created great problems in our lives. Then we learned our first lessons about powerlessness. As humble men, we know we can be wrong, but we cannot be passive and still continue to grow. I pray for guidance as I learn to assert my strength and power for the cause of well being. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. --Anas Nin How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations weren't initiated because we lacked confidence. The pain, the constant search for acceptance and love in the eyes and behavior of others, still haunts us. But those days are past. We are daring to be ourselves, one day at a time. Confidence still wavers on occasion, and we may need assurance that we're lovable. Gratefully, we can look to one another for the additional boost we may need to face the day. Being there for one another, knowing that we understand each other's fears as women offers the strength to go ahead that we may lack today or tomorrow. Today a woman may need me to dare to be herself. I will be there. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Acting As If The behavior we call "acting as if' can be a powerful recovery tool. Acting as if is a way to practice the positive. It's a positive form of pretending. It's a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. It's a tool we make a conscious decision to use. Acting as if can be helpful when a feeling begins to control us. We make a conscious decision to act as if we feel fine and are going to be fine. When a problem plagues us, acting as if can help us get unstuck. We act as if the problem will be or already is solved, so we can go on with our life. Often, acting as if we are detached will set the stage for detachment to come in and take over. There are many areas where acting as if - combined with our other recovery principles - will set the stage for the reality we desire. We can act as if we love ourselves, until we actually do begin to care for ourselves. We can act as if we have a right to say no, until we believe we do. We don't pretend we have enough money to cover a check. We don't pretend an alcoholic is not drinking. We use acting as if as part of our recovery, to set the stage for our new behaviors. We force ourselves through positive recovery behaviors, disregarding our doubts and fears, until our feelings have time to catch up with reality. Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self esteem. We do not have to lie; we do not have to be dishonest with ourselves. We open up to the positive possibilities of the future, instead of limiting the future by today's feelings and circumstances. Acting as if helps us get past shaky ground and into solid territory. God, show me the areas where acting as if could help set the stage for the reality I desire. Guide me as I use this powerful recovery tool to help create a better life and healthier relationships. Today I am not afraid of the silence. I find peace in this silence and I am able to listen to God's will for me. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Awaken to the World Around You There is a universe outside your door, waiting to touch you, soothe you, heal you. There is an entire world out there waiting to help you open your heart and nurture your soul. The universe wants to teach you things, show you things, help you come more alive than you’ve ever been before. Open you eyes, open your senses, open your heart. Walk out your door, look around. You’ll be shown. You’ll be guided. Your heart will lead you to what you need. Listen, look, feel. You are connected to the universe. Let the universe bring you all the healing you need. Let the universe bring you alive. Awaken to the world around you and you’ll awaken to yourself. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax. You’ll figure it out Let the answers come naturally. Have you ever gone into a room to get something and by the time you got there, you forgot what you went to get? Often the harder we try to remember, the worse our recollection. But when we relax and do something else for a minute– just let go– what we’re trying so hard to remember pops naturally into our minds. When I suggest that we let go, that’s all I’m suggesting that we do. I’m not saying the problem doesn’t matter, or that we have to entirely extinguish all thoughts of the subject from our minds, or that the person we care about isn’t important anymore. All I’m saying is that if we could do anything about it, we probably would have by now. And seeing as we can’t, letting go usually helps. God, help me relax and let my answers about what to do next come naturally from you. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I have been told over and over that I must constantly work to give up my old ideas. “That’s easy for you to say, ” I’ve sometimes thought. All my life, I have been programmed, computer-style; specific inputs brought forth predictable responses. My mind still tends to reach as a computer reacts, but I am learning to destroy the old tapes and literally reprogrammed myself. Am I fully willing to abandon my old ideas? Am I being fearless and thorough on my daily basis? Today I Pray Help me to take inventory each day of my stock of my new, healthy thoughts, throwing out the old ones as I happen upon them without regret or nostalgia. For I have outgrown those old ideas, which are as scuffed and fun-over as an old pair of shoes. Now, in the light, I can see that they are filled with holes. Today I Will Remember The Program reprograms. ***************************************** One More Day Probably no one alive hasn’t at one time or another brooded over the possibility of going back to an earlier, ideal age in his existence and living a different kind of life. – Hal Boyle If we could go back to a more perfect idyllic life, what section of life would we choose? As we daydream about the wonderful “yesterdays” in our life, little do we realize that even though our health and life circumstances may have changed somewhat, we could , right at this very moment, be creating the memories upon which we will look back fondly. We make our own good times and our own good memories. We can’t ever go backward — but we do still have the ability and capacity to move forward. I am aware that it’s up to me to create all my future memories. I can take from life only as much as I am willing to put into it. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ PROCRASTINATION ~ Procrastination, more than anything else I can think of, separates those who want to be successful from those who are. Lee Silber I would always intend to start everything 'tomorrow.' As a compulsive overeater I constantly promised myself the diet would start the next day, or if a weekend was approaching, then it would be Monday. When I first found this program I still had the same attitude: I would get a sponsor in good time, I would get a food plan next week, I'd read the Big Book and other program literature when I got a moment. I thought if I just kept going to meetings something will happen. However, I found that procrastination does not work in program any more than it does outside. I no longer wanted to be the member who was constantly sharing what a dreadful week I had with the food and other aspects of my life. Today I have a sponsor, I have worked through all the Twelve Steps -- I am still working and living the Steps -- I am in good contact with my Higher Power, have a good food plan which I am following religiously, and I have recovery to bring to my shares. One Day at a Time . . . When I make a decision I follow it through with action immediately. ~ Lilian ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the difference between failure and success. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job - wife or no wife - we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. - Pg. 98 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We must now learn to do our daily maintenance work on our program. This is prayer and meditation. Prayer is when we talk to our Spiritual Source and meditation is when we listen. God, as You have meaning for me, my prayer is for conscious contact. Now I will be silent for five full minutes and listen. Life's Generosity I appreciate the generosity of life. Everywhere I look, the world is spilling forth abundance. I open my hand to receive and the world fills it up with something. Whether it's sunlight, sweet smells or the gift of another day, this world is constantly giving forth. Today I say a quiet thank you for all that the world provides. For sunsets, fresh air and flowers. For rain and people and pets. My arms aren't big enough to hold it all, so today I will appreciate just what I have, knowing that appreciating what I can hold will feel more wonderful than running after more than I can carry. I feel grateful for the gifts of this world - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Us addicts are often hyper-vigilant about others 'talking behind our backs' or slandering us. Our sponsors tell us that what 'they' think of us is none of our business. It can still be hard to take. It matters not if someone speaks badly of me; I live so no one will believe it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am not afraid of the silence. I find peace in this silence and I am able to listen to God's will for me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's not a question of finding the right person, but becoming the right person. - Anon. |
January 18
Daily Reflections WOULD A DRINK HELP? By going back in our drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23 When I was still drinking, I couldn't respond to any of life's situations the way other, more healthy, people could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings. But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking - or again I will think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The new life can't be built in a day. We have to take the program slowly, a little at a time. Our subconscious minds have to be re-educated. We have to learn to think differently. We have to get used to sober thinking instead of alcoholic thinking. Anyone who tries it, knows that the old alcoholic thinking is apt to come back on us when we least expect it. Building a new life is a slow process, but it can be done if we really follow the A.A. program. Am I building a new life on the foundation of sobriety? Meditation For The Day I will pray daily for faith, for it is God's gift. On faith alone depends the answer to my prayers. God gives it to me in response to my prayers, because it is a necessary weapon for me to possess for the overcoming of all adverse conditions and the accomplishments of all good in my life. Therefore, I will work at strengthening my faith. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may so think and live as to feed my faith in God. I pray that my faith may grow because with faith God's power becomes available to me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Companion and Partner, p. 18 "Dr. Bob was my constant companion and partner in the great A.A. adventure. As the physician and great human being he was, he chose work with others as his prime A.A. vocation and achieved a record which, in quantity and in quality, none will ever surpass. Assisted by the incomparable Sister Ignatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, he--without charge--medically treated and spiritually infused five thousand sufferers. "In all the stress and strain of A.A.'s pioneering time, no hard word ever passed between us. For this, I can thankfully say that the credit was all his." << << << >> >> >> I took my leave of Dr. Bob, knowing that he was to undergo a serious operation. The old, broad smile was on his face as he said almost jokingly, "Remember, Bill, let's not louse this thing up. Let's keep it simple!" I turned away, unable to say a word. That was the last time I ever saw him. 1. Letter, 1966 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 214 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The Greatest Thing In The World___Love and Goodwill In a famous sermon, Henry Drummond described love as a spectrum with nine ingredients. Love is patience, kindness, and generosity; it is humility, courtesy, and unselfishness. Finally, it is also good temper, gentleness, and sincerity. Drummond called love the "greatest thing in the world." Growth in sobriety includes improvement in all the nine ingredients that make up love. It has been fashionable in recent years to talk and sing about love as something the world needs, and we have an opportunity to practice love when we strengthen the qualities that make us loving people. And if we are uncomfortable with love as a word, we can call it goodwill. If we are practicing the elements of love or goodwill, we won't have to sing about it or tell people what we're doing. They will see the change in our own lives and will be attracted by it. Love acts the part, and even people who cannot define love will respond to it. If love is present in our AA activities, it will cover a multitude of sins and will make up for many other shortcomings. I'll try to practice the nine ingredients that make up love. Around difficult people, I'll remember that God's love is always present with us. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The reality is that changes are coming....they must come. You must share in bring them. --John Hersey Change. It's scary. It's hard. It's needed. Sometimes it feels bad. But one thing is for sure: it keeps on happening. Just when our life seems settled, it changes. We can't stop life. We can't stay this age forever. The world changes. Life moves on. There are always new things to do and learn. Changes means we're always beginners in some ways. We need to ask for wisdom and courage. We get it by listening, by praying, by meditating. When we ask, our Higher Power will teach us to be part of good changes. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me believe that Your plans call for good changes. Action for the Day: Today I'll think about the changes in my life. I've lived through a lot. I'll be okay when more changes come, with God's help. I can keep on growing. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning We are born in innocence. Corruption comes later. The first fear is a corruption, the first reaching for something that defies us. The first nuance of difference, the first need to feel better than the different one, more loved, stronger, richer, more blessed--these are corruptions. --Laura Z. Hobson We are corrupted. To be a human is to be corrupted. Our corruptions interfere with our happiness at the very time we are seeking happiness. When we think if only we were prettier, smarter, had a better job, then we'd be happy, we are giving in to corruptions. And these corruptions stifle our growth. We are each who we need to be. We have a supporting role in one another's lives. We can teach and learn from one another. Recovery is choosing to help ourselves and one another to be as we are; to quit making comparisons; to understand our equality as women; to celebrate our differences, knowing they give intensity to life's colors for us all. I can celebrate our special and different gifts today. My heart will be lightened. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. pp. 100-101 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. That very evening, as I sat in jail, my mother died. I was allowed out for the funeral, and I still recall how alone I felt, even when I was with my family. I felt shame and remorse, and for years to come I believed I was somehow responsible for my mother's death. This incident haunted me for years. Alcohol would take it away for a while, but the remorse always returned. I tried to comfort myself by saying that my lifestyle was a part of my destiny just like many of my family members, but this did not remove the remorse. p. 496 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity." Those who look closely soon have the key to this strange paradox. The A.A. member has to conform to the principles of recovery. His life actually depends upon obedience to spiritual principles. If he deviates too far, the penalty is sure and swift; he sickens and dies. At first he goes along because he must, but later he discovers a way of life he really wants to live. Moreover, he finds he cannot keep this priceless gift unless he gives it away. Neither he nor anybody else can survive unless he carries the A.A. message. The moment this Twelfth Step work forms a group, another discovery is made - that most individuals cannot recover unless there is a group. Realization dawns that he is but a small part of a great whole; that no personal sacrifice is too great for preservation of the Fellowship. He learns that the clamor of desires and ambitions within him must be silenced whenever these could damage the group. It becomes plain that the group must survive or the individual will not. p. 130 ************************************************** ********* Through morning prayers and meditation, we embark upon the day spiritually prepared. Without this preparation, we enter the day with yesterday's anxieties - our own and those of millions of others. --Marianne Williamson The value of persistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but we will finally hear Him. --William McGill I know and trust that God cares for me, and takes care of all my needs. --Shelley Give your friends and family the gift of kindness all throughout the year. Your body is your vehicle through life. Do you take better care of your body or your car? It seems in life that most of us end up doing things we don't enjoy. You can turn things that you don't enjoy into something you do by changing how you do those things AND changing how you view them. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GLUTTONY "Gluttony is not a secret vice." -- Orson Welles The unspoken disease of food: hide in food, bury anger with food, cry behind food. Food addiction --- eating, forever dieting, starving --- is the hidden disease that is becoming more obvious. But are we talking about it? Recovering alcoholics minimize it and get lost in ice cream and doughnuts. For many people the pain around food is as real as alcohol or any other drug. And the family and relationships suffer. Today I am willing to talk about it. Spirituality affects all my life and this involves my eating habits and body weight. God does not make junk and so I choose not to eat junk. Today I choose to talk about the buried emotions that I am stuffing behind the food. That is a step towards living. When I bless the food at meal time, may I also bless my abstinence. ************************************************** ********* "And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You." Psalms 9:10 "May the LORD keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. Genesis 31:49 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:11-16 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Do not walk around with a long face. Radiate God's love. Lord, help me live my daily life with gratitude and peace from knowing that You are always with me. When you have faith in yourself and God, you will know that you are loved and safe and never alone. Lord, I am these things because You are always with me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Simple Inventory " Continuing to take a personal inventory means that we form a habit of looking at ourselves, our actions, our attitudes, and our relationships on a regular basis." Basic Text, p. 41 The daily inventory is a tool we can use to simplify our lives. The most complicated part of taking a regular inventory is deciding how to start. Should we write it out? What should we examine? In how much detail? And how do we know when we've finished? In no time, we've turned a simple exercise into a major project. Here's one simple approach to the daily inventory. We set aside a few minutes at the close of each day to sit quietly and check out our feelings. Is there a knot, big or small, in our gut? Do we feel uncomfortable about the day we've just finished? What happened? What was our part in the affair? Do we owe any amends? If we could do it over again, what would we do differently? We also want to monitor the positive aspects of our lives in our daily inventory. What has given us satisfaction today? Were we productive? Responsible? Kind? Loving? Did we give unselfishly of ourselves? Did we fully experience the love and beauty the day offered us? What did we do today that we would want to do again? Our daily inventory doesn't have to be complicated to be effective. It is a very simple tool we can use to keep in daily touch with ourselves. Just for today: I want to keep in touch with the way I feel in living this life I've been given. At the end of this day, I will take a brief, simple inventory. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The stream that was locked up for the winter now ripples and gurgles along its way. --John F. Gardner Winter presents us with a frozen world, silent, sometimes forbidding. It seems like such a harsh time, forcing us indoors, letting us out only when we're wrapped in extra woolens, extra boots, extra hats and mittens. But beneath the snow's blanket, the earth is resting. Just as we sleep at night, the earth naps, nurturing its roost and bulbs, replenishing its moisture and minerals, refreshing itself. Spring is the earth's first stirring; it open's one eye, then another, wiggles a toe, stretches, yawns. The earth rises, shaking leaves off, brushing twigs away. It sends new shoots up to welcome the day. We, too, are part of nature, and as such we experience our own seasons. Sometimes we are happy, full of energy, always able to handle obstacles. When we are down; when things seem to be too much for us to handle, we must remember that it is natural and proper to feel that way, and that soon, without our even trying, a new season will lift our hearts. When I feel low, what can I do best? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Communication leads to community--that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing. --Rollo May We have all thought, "If I tell the innermost things about myself, I will be rejected or put down." Most real communication actually creates the opposite of what we fear. In this program, when we lowered our barriers and let our brothers and sisters know us better, they liked us more and our bonds became stronger. Are we concerned today about feelings, we need to emphasize those that make us feel most vulnerable. The other side of communication is listening. In listening, our task is to hear without judgment and without trying to provide an answer or a cure for every pain. To express ourselves to others, to be fully understood, and to know we are understood will lift our hope and self-esteem. Today, I can make contact with people in my life by revealing my feelings to them and listening to what they are saying. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. We are born in innocence. Corruption comes later. The first fear is a corruption, the first reaching for something that defies us. The first nuance of difference, the first need to feel better than the different one, more loved, stronger, richer, more blessed--these are corruptions. --Laura Z. Hobson We are corrupted. To be a human is to be corrupted. Our corruptions interfere with our happiness at the very time we are seeking happiness. When we think if only we were prettier, smarter, had a better job, then we'd be happy, we are giving in to corruptions. And these corruptions stifle our growth. We are each who we need to be. We have a supporting role in one another's lives. We can teach and learn from one another. Recovery is choosing to help ourselves and one another to be as we are; to quit making comparisons; to understand our equality as women; to celebrate our differences, knowing they give intensity to life's colors for us all. I can celebrate our special and different gifts today. My heart will be lightened. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Gratitude Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. we barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We're feeling great in the morning, but we're submerged in misery by nightfall. Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappointments. Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lessons in these experiences. One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway. Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts. Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy. My Higher Power guides me today. I can move forward with the faith and trust that I am lovingly being led along the way, a step at a time, a day at a time. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Set Yourself Free from Control You don’t have to let people control or manipulate you. You don’t have to scream and beat upon your breast, telling them they’re wrong, they cannot do that. That’s letting them control you. People are energy. Thoughts are energy. When someone tries to control, that energy limits love and growth. Any attempt to control other people, what they think or what they do, puts little strings, cords, tentacles that smother, hold back, and impact in ways that don’t heal. Control is not the way of the heart. It’s not the way of love. As you proceed along this journey, you will become increasingly sensitive to attempts to control. You will see and feel when its tentacles reach out to you. You will see and feel how control affects you, how it makes you feel, how it pulls at you, bothers you, annoys you. You don’t have to scream and yell. You can quietly recognize it as control. Whether the person is someone you love, an acquaintance, a business associate, a friend, or a family member, you can recognize control for what it is– a block to the heart, a hindrance to love. Set yourself free from control and manipulation. Love can’t be controlled. Open your heart and let love be. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of the past I was sitting outside on the patio one morning. A foggy mist gently covered the peaks of the Ortega Mountain Range. The birds were singing. My mind wandered back to ten years ago and my life in Minnesota with my children, Shane and Nichole. Shane was still alive then. Nichole was still living at home. Our love, our family bond, was so strong. “We’ll always get together for birthdays,” we had vowed. “Our bond, our love, will live on.” It had been the best year, the happiest year, of my life. I wanted that time back again. If I could just see him again, for one minute. If the three of us could just be together again, for one day, I yearned, life would be so good. Later that morning I picked up an Osho Zen meditation card– not to tell the future, but to get insights into now. My card talked about “clinging to the past.” It said, “It’s time to face up to the fact that the past is gone, and any effort to repeat it is a sure way to stay stuck in old blueprints that you would have already outgrown if you hadn’t been so busy clinging to what you have already been through.” “Silly me,” I thought, coming back to the patio and to the Ortega Mountain Range. “Even though life is different and I miss the children, life is pretty good now.” Let yourself have all your emotions and feelings about losing people and moments you loved and cherished. Feel as sad as you need to. Grieve. Then let the feelings and the past go. Don’t let your memories stop you from seeing how beautiful and precious each moment in your life is now. God, help me let go of yesterday so I can open my heart to the gifts of today. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If we are determined to stop drinking or using other chemicals, there must be no reservations whatever, nor any lurking notion that our allergy of the body and obsession of the mind will some day reverse themselves. Our regeneration comes through the splendid paradox of the Twelve Steps: Strength arises from complete defeat, and the loss of one’s old life is a condition for finding a new one. Am I convinced that in powerlessness, Power comes? Am I certain that by releasing my life and will, I am released? Today I Pray May I know power through powerlessness, victory through surrender, triumph through defeat. May I learn to relinquish any trace of secret pride that I can “do it by myself.” Let my will be adsorbed and steered by the omnipotent will of God. Today I Will Remember Let Go and Let God ***************************************** One More Day Life’s a pretty precious and wonderful thing. You can’ sit down and let it lap around you . . . you have to plunge into it, you have to dive through it. – Kyle Crichton Life isn’t always carefree. Especially when we are suffering pain and discomfort, we may tend to back away from the mainstream. We’re just not sure how to behave in the face of new problems. We become confused about what we expect from others. Uncertain of what to do, we may be content for a while to let life lap around us. We find, however hard the lesson, that in order to be a participant, to get into the swing of things, we must dive back into life. No one is going to take care of all our needs. We are responsible for our actions. I have been confused how to continue living my life. Now I understand that I must plunge in again and get going. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ LOVING WORDS ~ One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter. James Earl Jones Many years ago I had difficulty in expressing feelings of love and caring and warmth and concern. Contrary to this, I had no difficulty in expressing criticism, unkind words or constant critiques. Over the years I have learned so much about myself and others ... and now I can express feelings to my friends and loved ones about everything. Those who are imprisoned by emotional constipation do little to make life better for themselves or for others. To be able to look at someone in your life and tell them you love them is such a beautiful gift. To tell a store clerk that you like something about them makes their heart sing. To look a little child in the eyes and tell them they have a good heart and you admire them takes them through the rest of the day on wings. One Day at a Time . . . Here's to letting the words out of hearts. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. - Pg. 164 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Our freedom lies in recognizing the threefold illusion of this disease--mind (I can handle it), desire (it feels good), and flesh (I need it). These are all illusions which we soon will be liberated from. May I surrender my illusions about the 'goodness' of mind affecting chemicals for myself and any addict / alcoholic. Appreciating Life I have the gift of life. I am here. I am alive, with all of my senses and able to experience the magic of this incredible world. Whatever this day has in store for me - I am open to receive. I will act on my day and allow my day to act on me. I am open. I will take steps that I know will make my day feel good, productive and pleasurable, and then I will let the rest happen. Each day presents me with gifts and surprises, if I know how to unwrap the present - if I remember how to be pleased, moved and astonished by the wonders of this world. Life itself is the gift - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote And so our very best thoughts won't save us. When we are given a program of action, it tells us what to DO, not what to think. Think anything you want, just DO the suggestions (your thoughts will change). What can I do this moment to have an awesome day? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Today you are leading a life. When you were drinking, you were a life being led. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My Higher Power guides me today. I can move forward with the faith and trust that I am lovingly being led along the way, a step at a time, a day at a time. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The problem with relationships in early sobriety is that that person becomes my higher power. - Charlie C. |
January 19
Daily Reflections ROUND-THE-CLOCK FAITH Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.16 The essence of my spiritually, and my sobriety, rests on a round-the-clock faith in a Higher Power. I need to remember and rely on the God of my understanding as I pursue all of my daily activities. How comforting for me is the concept that God works in and through people. As I pause in my day, do I recall specific concrete examples of God's presence? Am I amazed and uplifted by the number of times this power is evident? I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my God's presence in my life of recovery. Without this omnipotent force in my every activity, I would again fall into the depths of my disease - and death. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day On the foundation of sobriety, we can build a life of honesty, unselfishness, faith in God, and love of our fellow human beings. We'll never fully reach these goals, but the adventure of building that kind of life is so much better than the merry-go-round of our old drinking life that there's no comparison. We come into A.A. to get sober, but if we stay long enough we learn a new way of living. We become honest with ourselves and with other people. We learn to think more about others and less about ourselves. And we learn to rely on the constant help of a Higher Power. Am I living the way of honesty, unselfishness, and faith? Meditation For The Day I believe that God had already seen my heart's needs before I cried to Him, before I was conscious of those needs myself. I believe that God was already preparing the answer. God does not have to be petitioned with sighs and tears and much speaking, before he reluctantly looses the desired help. He has already anticipated my every want and need. I will try to see this, as His plans unfold in my life. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may understand my real wants and needs. I pray that my understanding of those needs and wants may help to bring the answer to them. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Wine Of Success, p. 19 Disagreeable or unexpected problems are not the only ones that call for self-control. We must be quite as careful when we begin to achieve some measure of importance and material success. For no people have ever loved personal triumphs more than we have loved them; we drank of success as of a wine which could never fail to make us feel elated. Blinded by prideful self-confidence, we were apt to play the big shot. Now that we're in A.A. and sober, winning back the esteem of our friends and business associates, we find that we still need to exercise special vigilance. As an insurance against the dangers of big-shot-ism, we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is far more His success than ours. 12 & 12, pp. 91-92 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Willpower Isn't the Power_____Power We almost universally agree that willpower simply does not work as a direct force in overcoming alcoholism. The alcoholic who believes that a strong will and determination bring sobriety is probably headed for disaster. In the same way, willpower is ineffective in dealing with a number of personal problems. In fact, the mustering of willpower seems to strengthen the problems or cuase them to take other forms. We know that we are using willpower on problems when there is a great deal of tension and anxiety in letting our Higher Power handle matters in a way that brings contentment and satisfaction. When excessive will is involved, we usually suppress feelings that ought to be expressed in positive ways. The solution is not to fight problems in ourselves or in the outer world. By turning all matters over to the Higher Will, we will find the best way to deal with the evils within ourselves and with the opposition in our world. "Self-will run riot" was a problem in drinking, and it can be equality destructive in sobriety. Our will should be joined with the Higher Will for true success in living. I will rely on my Higher power as I go through the day. God can do the many things I cannot do for myself. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Study sickness when you are well.---Thomas Fuller Now is the time to learn about our sickness--chemical dependency. It is a chronic illness. That means it never goes away. We have to live with it the best we can. Luckily, we can live with it--very well! Our program of recovery is so simple, and it feels so good, that we think we'll never give it up. But we can't take our recovery for granted. Our disease is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." The more we know about it, the less we'll let it fool us. Some days we may find we're headed toward a slip. We must learn to recognize the first trouble signs in ourselves so we can get help to stay sober. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, my addiction is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." Don't let me use alcohol or others drugs again. Thank you for my sobriety today. Action for the Day: Today, I'll learn my warning signs: I'll list ten old thoughts, feelings, and actions that were part of my illness. I'll share this with my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The especial genius of women, I believe to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency. --Margaret Fuller We are women, and we are moving, together and alone. We are moving into new images of ourselves. There is a healing power that comes from moving, from sharing one's ideas and changing one's self. And it is by trusting ourselves and trusting others that we bring harmony, thoughtfulness, and courage to all our actions. Life holds many possibilities, and we are able to realize them when we risk changing ourselves through taking action. Those of us struggling to recover are taking action; we are changing ourselves. And as we listen to and support one another, we encourage the necessary changes in our sisters. As one is healed, we are all healed. Today holds a special promise for me. I can be in harmony. I can share with others. My courage will strengthen others, and others will strengthen me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem. p. 101 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I can remember only one good thing that happened during this time. As my mother lay dying, I talked to her in Mic-Mac language. She seemed so happy, and she told me that it sounded beautiful to hear me speaking Mic-Mac. I cherish this memory. p. 496 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity." So at the outset, how best to live and work together as groups became the prime question. In the world about us we saw personalities destroying whole peoples. The struggle for wealth, power, and prestige was tearing humanity apart as never before. If strong people were stalemated in the search for peace and harmony, what was to become of our erratic band of alcoholics? As we had once struggled and prayed for individual recovery, just so earnestly did we commence to quest for the principles through which A.A. itself might survive. on anvils of experience, the structure of our Society was hammered out. pp. 130-131 ************************************************** ********* Knowing is not enough; We must Apply. Willing is not enough; We must Do. --Goethe I shall stay in this 24 hours, and leave tomorrows burdens, cares, and worries, in Gods hands. --Shelley It isn't enough to draw near to the light. Absorb it into you. Let it charge you and change you with its energy and its power. Healing is all around you. Wherever you are, whatever your resources, healing, energy, and joy are there. --Melody Beattie Speaking without thinking is shooting without aiming. -- French Proverb Three things that become more precious with age are old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy. "We never know the worth of water till the well is dry." --English proverb We in AA don't carry the alcoholic; we carry the message. We are not living just to be sober; we are living to learn, to serve, and to love. Don't mess up an amends with an excuse. The First Step identifies the problem. The remaining eleven Steps are the solution. S T E P S = Solutions To Every Problem, Sober. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation EQUALITY "Treat all men alike. Give them all the same laws. Give them all an even chance to live and grow." -- Chief Joseph Today it is important for me to remember that I am not the only human being in this universe; I need to respect and be considerate of others. Spirituality requires that I treat all people with dignity and respect because they carry something of God within them --- the image of God is with all men. In this way I show and give respect to self. As an alcoholic I was selfish and demanding, wanting my way all the time. Sobriety teaches me that "the way" must include others; my fellow men are part of my life and journey. I cannot live in isolation and be sober. O Spirit of the World, teach me to respect all men as a service to myself. ************************************************** ********* "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." I Corinthians 15:58 How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise Him. Psalm 147:1 "However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all." Ecclesiastes 11:8 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration People should be able to look at us and see that we are different. Lord, may I be an example of Your love and learn to rely on You at all times. Nothing is ever quite as bad as it seems. Call on God and then practice expectancy and optimism and things will turn out better than you expect. Lord, thank You for tomorrow. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Making Mountains Into Molehills " When we stop living in the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonably." Basic Text, p. 96 Some of us seem to make mountains out of molehills with our problems. Even those of us who've found some measure of serenity have probably blown a problem far out of proportion at some time in our recovery-and if we haven't done so yet, we probably will before long! When we find ourselves obsessed with a complication in our lives, we will do well to sharply remind ourselves of all that is going right. Perhaps we're afraid we won't be able to pay our bills for the month. Instead of sitting at the calculator, adding our financial liabilities over and over, we can take stock of our efforts to reduce expenses. Following this mini-inventory, we continue with the task at hand and remind ourselves that as long as we are doing the footwork, a loving Higher Power will care for our lives. Mountain-sized problems happen sometimes, but we don't need to create them. Trust in a loving God of our understanding will put most of our problems in their proper perspective. We no longer need to create chaos to feel excited about our lives. Our recovery gives us countless real-life opportunities for excitement and drama. Just for today: I will take a realistic look at my problems and see that most of them are minor. I will leave them that way and enjoy my recovery. pg. 19 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. --Chinese proverb Even the strongest, most loving families always have room for growth. There is no such thing as a "perfect" family. If our family is far from perfect, that's okay. It only matters that we are working at getting better. Often, runners will say they can remember many days when they just did not feel like running; however, once they started, they felt more energy and were easily able to run the distance they had set for that day. Whatever we need to do, we can do in small acts--a chore done without being asked, a helping hand with the dishes, a soft word, a surprise gift for no reason. These are small things, easily done. Love is made of small things; what is large is the love with which they are accomplished. When we begin to work on our relationship with our family, we will feel the new energy, and quickly we will find ourselves making progress. What is the first thing I can do today to improve my relationship with my family? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Self-realization is not a matter of withdrawal from a corrupt world or narcissistic contemplation of oneself. An individual becomes a person by enjoying the world and contributing to it. --Francine Klagsbrun After we admitted our self-destructive patterns and gave them up, there were many days when we said, "Now what? Is that all there is? I need some answers. How should I live? How can I feel whole? How can I feel like a real person?" These questions may feel too painful to answer. These are among the first spiritual questions we encounter in recovery, and we must not hide or escape from them. They are valuable to us, and we need to follow their urgings. We are asking these questions as if they were new and unique. But through the centuries many people have asked them too. They found answers we can learn from. They tell us to get engaged with life, take time for reflection, learn to enjoy it where we can, and try to make a contribution. Today, I will listen to my questions and doubts as urgings from my Higher Power, pushing me to grow. I will be involved in living. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The especial genius of women, I believe to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency. --Margaret Fuller We are women, and we are moving, together and alone. We are moving into new images of ourselves. There is a healing power that comes from moving, from sharing one's ideas and changing one's self. And it is by trusting ourselves and trusting others that we bring harmony, thoughtfulness, and courage to all our actions. Life holds many possibilities, and we are able to realize them when we risk changing ourselves through taking action. Those of us struggling to recover are taking action; we are changing ourselves. And as we listen to and support one another, we encourage the necessary changes in our sisters. As one is healed, we are all healed. Today holds a special promise for me. I can be in harmony. I can share with others. My courage will strengthen others, and others will strengthen me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Owning Our Power There is one feeling we need to pay particular attention to in recovery: feeling victimized. We do not need to become comfortable with that feeling. How do we feel when we've been victimized? Helpless. Rageful. Powerless. Frustrated. Feeling victimized is dangerous. Often, it can prompt us into addictive or other compulsive behaviors. In recovery, we're learning to identify when we're feeling victimized, when we are actually being victimized, and why we're feeling victimized. We're learning to own our power, to take care of ourselves, and to remove ourselves as victims. Sometimes, owning our power means we realize we are victimizing ourselves - and others are not doing anything to hurt us. They are living their lives, as they have a right to, and we are feeling victimized because we're attempting to control their process or we're unreasonably expecting them to take care of us. We may feel victimized if we get stuck in a codependent belief, such as. Other people make me feel.... Others hold the key to my happiness and destiny.... Or, I can't be happy unless another behaves in a particular way, or a certain event takes place... Other times, owning our power means we realize that we are being victimized by another's behavior. Our boundaries are being invaded. In that case, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves to stop the victimization; we need to set boundaries. Sometimes, a change of attitude is all that's required. We are not victims. We strive to have compassion for the person, who victimized us, but understand that compassion often comes later, after we've removed ourselves as victims in body, mind, and spirit. We also understand that too much compassion can put us right back into the victim slot. Too much pity for a person who is victimizing us may set up a situation where the person can victimize us again. We try not to force consequences or crises upon another person, but we also do not rescue that person from logical consequences of his or her behavior. If there is a part that is our responsibility to play in delivering those consequences, we do our part - not to control or punish, but to be responsible for ourselves and to others. We try to figure out what we may be doing that is causing us to feel victimized, or what part we are playing in the system, and we stop doing that too. We are powerless over others and their behavior, but we can own our power to remove ourselves as victims. Today, I will take responsibility for myself and. show it to others by not allowing myself to be victimized, I cannot control outcomes, but I can control my attitude toward being victimized. I am not a victim; I do not deserve to be victimized. My Higher Power guides me in making all healthy and positive decisions today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Honor the Process of Spiritual Growth Don’t wait for things to change. The change you’re waiting for will come from within you. Start to nurture yourself through each stage of your evolution, your spiritual growth. Waiting for things to change is a tiresome, irritating, process. But embracing our own emotions and growth is exciting. It can become a positive challenge that turns life into a vital, interactive process. The moment we surrender to this process, something happens. If we feel an emotion– an old, stuck, hardened chunk of emotion or a new one that has arisen along the path, we can release it and the belief attached to it: I am an alcoholic. Life has to be hard. I deserve to be punished. When we release the emotion and the belief, our body shifts. It detoxifies. Changes. A new lesson emerges. We discover we can choose joy, freedom, forgiveness. The lessons that can emerge are as unique as our old beliefs. We wrestle with each new lesson as it grows and appears in many different forms– on the job, in love relationships, in all areas of our lives. Soon we come to a new conclusion about ourselves, about life. I am lovable. I am creatively feeling what God and the universe have to offer me. I am free. I can bring my full essence and energy before the world. Then when we change, when our beliefs change, our lives change. The change we’ve been waiting for happens, but it happens as a result of our own evolutionary process– not because we waited for something or someone in our lives outside ourselves to change. Trust this process of change. Honor it, respect it, revere it. You no longer have to wait for something to happen. Something is happening right now; within you. Welcome the changes that can be yours. Let life help you, as you take an active part in creating these changes. Let the process become living, interactive, and magical. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go You’re connected to life and the universe “My friend died, and I was upset,” a man told me one day. “I took off on a trip, wandering around the Southwest, hiking through Bryce Canyon. I saw the snow in the caverns, the rich red carved peaks sticking up. I saw the vastness of the universe, and the beauty in all of it. I had set off on my trip to prove how unique and isolated I was in my grief. By the time the trip ended, I realized just how connected to this world I am.” Part of letting go is recognizing that you are part of this universe and not separate from it. Perhaps a situation has come up in your life recently that signals an ending– the passing of a relative, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job. The people we love and the things we do contribute to our sense of who we are. When the people and things we love are threatened, taken away, we can rebel. We want to hold on to the known and don’t want to see what’s on the other side. Let go of the uncontrollable in your life. You’re not a solitary being in this great universe, set to struggle against all of the forces; you’re part of the whole. And the changes that come– whether they’re joyous or sad, easy or difficult– are just a part of the growing process that each of us goes through. Feel the pain when you have a loss. Feel the joy when you triumph. Then let go and continue to grow. See how connected you are. God, help me recognize that I am a part of your creation and don’t need to fight it. Help me live in peace and celebration of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day It was far easier for me to accept my powerlessness over my addiction than it was for me to accept the notion that some sort of Higher Power could accomplish that which I had been unable to accomplish myself. Simply by seeking help and accepting the fellowship of others similarly afflicted, the craving left me. And I realized that if I was doing what I was powerless along to do, then surely I was doing so by some Power outside my own and obviously greater. Have I surrendered my life into the hands of God? Today I Pray May God erase in me the arrogant pride which keeps me from listening to Him. May my unhealthy dependence on chemicals and my clinging dependence on those nearby be transformed into reliance on God. Only in this kind of dependence/reliance on a Higher Power will I find my own transformation. Today I Will Remember I am God-dependent. ***************************************** One More Day Wisdom is knowing when you can’t be wise. Paul Engle Whenever we previously thought of wisdom we may either have imagined a venerated sage or a beloved grandparent. Or we may have thought of formal schooling and college degrees. We remember wisdom learned from our parents. We remember conveying similar ideas to our children. How many of us really remember the first time we had to answer, “I don’t know”? And what about the moment when it finally occurred to us that there are certain skills that we will never be able to develop? Understanding comes when we expand ourselves to our fullest capacities and accept ourselves just as we are. Then and only then are we wise. The more comfortable I become with my limitations, the more I can grow. Author Sefra Kobrin Pitzele ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ OPPORTUNITIES ~ Tiger, tiger, burning bright, In the forest of the night, What immortal hand or eye, could frame thy dreadful symmetry? William Blake This quote from mystic and poet William Blake expresses the sense of wonder and awe I have about God, who can make a being like a tiger, an aggressive carnivore. God, who I suppose to be kind and loving, makes beings that are potentially dangerous to me. The question "Why?" stirs in my mind, alongside fears about what God may have in store for me. "Fear of the Lord, is the beginning of wisdom," says one religious text. I can feel grateful for the stirring fear, and question, as the seeds of new wisdom. A quick thought enters, "I can also feel grateful for the chance to flex my faith muscles and to increase their strength. Maybe that's why God makes tigers and their ilk." A habit of staying detached from the emotions life arouses in me heightens my perceptions of what life has to offer, highlights what God has to offer in each situation and the reasons I have for being grateful. This is essential to my recovery. It's the spine of an attitude of gratitude that also nurtures remembrance of God, and conscious contact with Him. One Day at a Time . . . I thank God for what I have already learned, for all opportunities to learn more, and for the chance to perfect "skill in action" in my recovery way of life. ~ James ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be? - Pg. 53 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We have been known to think that dishonesty with others was OK as long as it didn't 'hurt' them. We really don't know what will hurt another or not. Being dishonest with other people deprives them of the information they need to run their own lives. Honesty is honesty. Let me understand that 'little' dishonesties are a disservice to others as well as myself. I Will Be Me I will be me, today. One thing I never seem to do well at, is trying to be someone else. I can imitate and learn from others, but I cannot be them. Only they know how to do that, it's a natural outgrowth of all that they have experienced in life, of all they are. That's the bad news. The good news is no one can be me as well as me. Being me builds on who I already am. It's exercise for my personality and my spirit. If I allow myself to actualize my own unique gifts and visions they will have originality to them, a freshness. I am a better me than anyone else can be - Tian Dayton PhD "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Do not let the newcomer's inner child run our meetings. This is not play therapy. Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Everybody makes mistakes. Fools repeat them, the weak excuse them, only the wise admit and profit from them. If I really want to find a solution to my current quandary, I will. If not, I will find an excuse. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My Higher Power guides me in making all healthy and positive decisions today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote He who laughs, lasts. - Anon. |
January 20
Daily Reflections "WE PAUSE . . . AND ASK" As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.87 Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend. I promise to watch for every opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills - it is the unsuspected Inner Resource. I thank my Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the right thought or action today. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A., we're all through with lying, hangovers, remorse and wasted money. When we were drinking, we were only half alive. Now that we're trying to live decent, honest, unselfish lives, we're really alive. Life has a new meaning for us, so that we can really enjoy it. We feel that we're some use in the world. We're on the right side of the fence, instead of on the wrong side. We can look the world in the face instead of hiding in alleys. We come into A.A. to get sober and if we stay long enough, we learn a new way of living. Am I convinced that no matter how much fun I got out of drinking, that life was never as good as the life I can build in A.A.? Meditation For The Day I want to be at one with the Divine Spirit of the universe. I will set my deepest affections on things spiritual, not on things material. As we think, so we are. So I will think of and desire that which will help, not hinder, my spiritual growth. I will try to be at one with God. No human aspiration can reach higher than this. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may think love, and love will surround me. I pray that I may think health, and health will come to me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Light From A Prayer, p. 20 "God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." << << << >> >> >> We treasure our "Serenity Prayer" because it brings a new light to us that can dissipate our oldtime and nearly fatal habit of fooling ourselves. In the radiance of this prayer we see that defeat, rightly accepted, need be no disaster. We now know that we do not have to run away, nor ought we again try to overcome adversity by still another bulldozing drive that can only push up obstacles before us faster than they can be taken down. Grapevine, March 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places First things first____Order Busy people often declare, with some exasperation, that they cannot do everything at once. People with emotional problems, a group that includes many alcoholics, often feel that they are trying to do everything at once. Quite often, this pressure means that we waste our time fretting about all the things facing us, becoming totally ineffective as a result. The simple slogan "First things First" shows us how to set priorities in an orderly way. In every situation or problem, there is always one step we can take that is more important than the others. Following that, we find a step of second importance, another of third importance, and so on. Sometimes, a certain action comes first simply because other things depend on it. By using "First things first" as a guiding principle in our lives, we can live in an orderly, disciplined manner. If we have to reduce our activities, we can decide which few ought to retain. Having made these decisions, we can be at peace about our choices. We cannot do everything at once and we need not feel guilty about it. Knowing that order is Heaven's first law, I'll do things today in an orderly manner. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple SERVICE---A beautiful word fallen upon bad days.---Claude McKay Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others we're part of the human race. We all need to help each other. Service is a sure way to stay sober. Helping someone else stay sober helps us stay sober. And service frees us from self-will. It teaches us about how to care for ourselves and others. It teaches us that we're worthwhile. It teaches us that we make a difference. Service keeps us feeling good. Am I quiet when the topic of service comes ap at meetings? If so, how can I change this? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, show me where I can be of help. Give me the courage to make a difference. Give me the courage to really serve others in need. Action for the Day: I'll list five ways service has made or can make my life better. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The pain of leaving those you grow to love is only the prelude to understanding yourself and others. --Shirley MacLaine Life is a process of letting go, letting go of conditions we can't control, letting go of people--watching them move out of our lives, letting go of times, places, experiences. Leaving behind anyone or anyplace we have loved may sadden us, but is also provides us opportunities for growth we hadn't imagined. These experiences push us beyond our former selves to deeper understandings of ourselves and of others. So often those experiences that sadden us, that trigger pain, are the best lessons life is able to offer. Experiencing the pain, surviving the pain that wrenches us emotionally, stretches us to new heights. Life is enriched by the pain. Our experiences with all other persons thereafter are deeper. Instead of dreading the ending of a time, the departure of a loved one, we must try to appreciate what we have gained already and know that life is fuller for it. Today will bring both goodbyes and hellos. I can meet both with gladness. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. p. 101 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I was to meet a young girl and have a son. Proud, I named him after myself, and my drinking slowed down for a little while. One day I promised my son that "tomorrow" I would take him to the movies. I really meant it from the bottom of my heart, and I was looking forward to it. That night I took a drink, and it led to many more. The next day I was hung-over, and even though I promised to go to the movies that afternoon, I took a drink to fix myself up. That drink was followed by many more, and i justified them by telling myself: My son is so young, he will never remember the movie. The day after the promised movie I was guilty and remorseful, and felt I was just no good. I faced my son, only to hear him talking excitedly about going to a movie. I couldn't say anything, for the movie was no longer playing. I left his mother to explain. pp. 496-497 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity." Countless times, in as many cities and hamlets, we reenacted the story of Eddie Rickenbacker and his courageous company when their plane crashed in the Pacific. Like us, they had suddenly found themselves saved from death, but still floating upon a perilous sea. How well they saw that their common welfare came first. None might become selfish of water or bread. Each needed to consider the others, and in abiding faith they knew they must find their real strength. And as they did find, in measure to transcend all the defects of their frail craft, every test of uncertainty, pain, fear, and despair, and even the death of one. p. 131 ************************************************** ********* I place my recovery in first place. --Shelley The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt. --Leo Buscaglia Today, help me God, to let go of my resistance to change. Help me to be open to the process. Help me believe that the place I will be dropped off will be better than the place I was picked up. Help me to surrender, trust and accept, even if I don't understand. --Melody Beattie And we should not be discouraged because answers do not come immediately. "You can read all the manuals on prayer and listen to other people pray, but until you begin to pray yourself you will never understand prayer. It's like riding a bicycle or swimming: You learn by doing." --Evangelist Luis Palau "There are prayers that help us last through the day, or endure the night. There are prayers of friends and strangers that give us strength for the journey. And there are prayers that yield our will to a will greater than our own." --President George W. Bush ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BELIEF "One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interest." -- John Stuart Mill I believe in sobriety because it works for me. I believe in sobriety because it makes me feel good about myself. I believe in sobriety because it has enabled me to rejoin the human race; I was so tired of feeling lonely, ashamed and isolated. Also this belief I have in me has rekindled a positive relationship with my higher power. Today God is a friend. Today I understand more about what He wants for me. Today I am broad enough in my thinking to find God in anything that is positive and creative --- from music to hugs in the park! Belief has developed with my spiritual program, and I am able to face the daily pains and conflicts of life. Today I know what it is to be a winner --- and, thank God, it doesn't mean I have to be perfect or in control. My total belief in God and self enables me to love me through my failings. Master of the beliefs of all men, thank You for the gift of my believing in myself. ************************************************** ********* He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 "This, then, is how you should pray: "`Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. Matthew 6:9-13 "Jesus spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." Luke 18:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Each of us can change the world one person at a time. Lord, grant that I may be a positive influence on just one person today. You have a responsibility to be the best that you can be. Lord, may I find a good balance in my life so that I neither neglect myself and my duties nor my responsibity to those that need or depend on me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today One Promise, Many Gifts " Narcotics Anonymous offers only one promise, and that is freedom from active addiction..." Basic Text, p. 102 Imagine how it might be if we had arrived at the doors of Narcotics Anonymous, desperate, wanting to stop using drugs, only to be met by a sales pitch: "If you just work the steps and don't use drugs, you'll get married, live in the suburbs, have 2.6 children, and start wearing polyester. You will become a responsible, productive member of society and be fit company for kings and presidents. You will be rich and have a dynamic career." Most of us, greeted with such a heavy-handed spiel, would have shrieked and bolted for the door. Instead of high-pressure nonsense and frightening predictions, we are greeted with a promise of hope: freedom from active addiction. We feel a blessed relief come over us when we hear that we never have to use drugs again. We aren't going to be forced to become anything! Of course, after some time in recovery, good things start happening in our lives. We are given gifts-spiritual gifts, material gifts, gifts that we've always dreamed of but never dared hope we'd get. These, however, are truly gifts-they are not promised to us just because we become NA members. All we are promised is freedom from addiction-and it's more than enough! Just for today: I have been promised freedom from active addiction. The gifts I receive are the benefits of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The power of a man's virtue should not be measured by his special efforts, but by his ordinary doing. --Blaise Pascal The airplane kit is on the table in front of us. We have the glue, the little wooden pieces, and the instructions. We work for hours putting together each piece, step by step. A dab of glue here, a clamp there, maybe some rubber bands to hold the bigger pieces together. We work slowly, allowing the glue to set overnight, even though we want to see it fly right now. We follow each step in order, even though we think we know how to do it on our own. Patience is the most important asset we bring to this activity--the willingness to allow each step its own time and proper place. After we've done all the careful work and waited till the glue is firm, we take it out for a trial flight. It soars! So do we, when we allow ourselves time to learn each step of the way. What part of my future am I assembling today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. How good and how pleasant it is that brothers sit together. --Psalm 133 Men are lonely and more vulnerable to addictions and codependency when they have no firm friendships with other men. Do we have one or two male friends who truly know us, know what really goes on in our lives, what we feel, and what our doubts are? If we do, these relationships are precious. We need to nourish them. If we do not, we need to find others who might become friends. We begin by taking small steps in the development of a friendship. The joys of sharing with other men, finding humor in our mutual flaws, and joining in similar interests have no substitutes. Relationships develop when someone reaches out. It is easier for us to do this if we remember our friendship is a gift to someone else. We need friendships with both women and men in order to be whole. But understanding ourselves as men begins with closeness to other men. I am grateful for precious friendships with men and women in my life. They help me grow. Today, can I strengthen my friendship with another man? You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The pain of leaving those you grow to love is only the prelude to understanding yourself and others. --Shirley MacLaine Life is a process of letting go, letting go of conditions we can't control, letting go of people--watching them move out of our lives, letting go of times, places, experiences. Leaving behind anyone or anyplace we have loved may sadden us, but is also provides us opportunities for growth we hadn't imagined. These experiences push us beyond our former selves to deeper understandings of ourselves and of others. So often those experiences that sadden us, that trigger pain, are the best lessons life is able to offer. Experiencing the pain, surviving the pain that wrenches us emotionally, stretches us to new heights. Life is enriched by the pain. Our experiences with all other persons thereafter are deeper. Instead of dreading the ending of a time, the departure of a loved one, we must try to appreciate what we have gained already and know that life is fuller for it. Today will bring both goodbyes and hellos. I can meet both with gladness. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. New Beginnings Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person; they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go. Letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she wants. It means we accept what happened in the past, and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries. We try to see the good in the person or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about. We try to see our part. Then we put the incident to rest. Praying for those we resent helps. Asking God to take our resentments from us helps too. What better way to begin a New Year than by cleaning the slate of the past, and entering this one free of resentments. Higher Power, help me become ready to let go of my resentments. Bring any resentment that is hidden within me, and blocking me, to the surface. Show me what I need to do to take care of my self by letting go of resentments, and then help me do that. I choose to live in the light of my truth today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Learn When It’s Time to Adapt Life is constantly changing. So are we. With change comes the need to learn to adapt. Some adaptation comes naturally. On my trip, I watched even the subtle changes in my body as I traveled from climate to climate. In the warm, dry climate of Arizona, I needed more water. My body needed lotion, my hair different shampoo and conditioner. In the higher mountain climates, I found myself breathing differently, needing to give myself more time to rest. People who live in different places and different cultures adapt to the climate and ways of the world around them. We can learn to adapt to the situations in our life,too– to the constant evolution of the world around us. At home, at work, within our social groups, change is constantly taking place. Most of us are constantly on the move– meeting new people, being exposed to new situations, or needing to deal with situations that have themselves changed. There are times when we can’t adapt to the changes around us. When no matter how hard we try, we cannot force ourselves into the new circumstance. Our body won’t allow it because this change isn’t right for us. We need to learn to adapt to change but we also need to learn to tell when a situation is wrong for us and not force ourselves to fit. Be sensitive to this changes both subtle and dramatic around you– and in you. Give yourself time and freedom to adapt to these changes and figure out what they mean to you. Give yourself time to catch up. Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your needs. Let yourself adapt to the changes that are right for you. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go We can go only so far There is no such thing as complete acceptance. When we can remember a loss with a little distance and much less pain, you have accepted the loss and mourned it fully. You accept that life is different now and move on. –David Viscott, Emotionally Free There are certain events that we may never accept fully. What can be accepted, though, is that we are required to live with these losses and find a way to go on. Some people were horribly abused in childhood, beyond what anyone can be expected to endure. Some of us have experienced unthinkable losses later on in life. A spouse may have betrayed us. We may have lost our family through divorce. We may have lost our physical health through an accident or illness. A loved one may have died. It’s okay to stop waiting for and expecting total acceptance of the unthinkable in your life. Instead, gently do one thing each day to demonstrate that you’re willing to move forward with your life. God, grant me compassion for myself and others. Help me learn to be gentle with broken hearts, including my own. Activity: Make a list of all the questions you have for God, the “why’s.” For instance, why did so-and-so have to die, why did I have to lose my family, why did this have to happen to me? Then, as much as possible, do not dwell on those questions. Trust you’ll get your answers possibly later, possibly when you can talk to your Higher Power face-to-face. For now, let those questions be the unsolved mysteries of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The first psychiatrist to recognize the work of Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. Harry Tiebout, used many concepts of The Program in his own practice. Over many years, the doctor’s study of the conversion experience” led him to see, first, that it is the act of surrender which initiates the switch from negative to positive; sound, that the positive phase is really a state of surrender which initiates the switch from negative to positive; second, that the positive phase is really a state of surrender which follows the act of surrender; and third, that the state of surrender, if maintained, supplies an emotional tone to all thinking and feeling that insures healthy adjustment. Am I living in a constant state of surrender? Today I Pray May I understand that I do not have to “unlearn”: my respect for “self-reliance,” that trait of character which I heard praised so often from the time I was a tiny child. Only my understanding of the word must change. For as I come to know that “self” is part of god, that I am nothing except in His Being, there is no quarrel between self-reliance and God-reliance. May I rely upon that self which is God’s. Today I Will Remember Not part-god, but part of God. ***************************************** One More Day Life is full of internal dramas . . . played to an audience of one. – Anthony Powell Our lives are filled with dramas. Some of them we were able to talk about to similarly involved people, and some, we found, had to remain private. Heath changes can create hundreds of new dramas. In the beginning far too many of us made the mistake of telling our experiences to anyone who asked. We talked too often, too long, and too much. We are learning that gently lesson of who, when, and how much to tell — selectivity. We discover that no one really wants to be always involved in our dramas, in each tiny success or failure. We can keep our own counsel and give ourselves private praise. I can choose when — and when not — to share some of the dramas in my life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time New Worlds “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Anais Nin Most of us are so compulsive at almost everything we do, that allowing people in to know our garbage of the past and present is unheard of. You go to a meeting, find a new recovery friend, and that friend opens a new door. You and that friend step through and WOW, the world in that room looks great! Later at another meeting, you meet another recovery friend and another door is opened. You and your two new friends step through and you find an even better world view. This continues to happen meeting after meeting, Step after Step, room after room and your personal life begins to look much brighter and more beautiful. You find that there really is hope. Funny how it's still the same world, but friends, recovery and Higher Power make it a much better world view. One Day at a Time . . . I will never end this beautiful cycle of finding new worlds as long as I never lose sight of my Higher Power, my recovery friends and my recovery program. ~ Jeanette ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly and exception, will be ABSOLUTELY UNABLE TO STOP DRINKING ON THE BASIS OF SELF-KNOWLEDGE. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. - Pg. 39 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Right now you don't have to pretend to be someone you are not. You don't have to pretend to be strong (if you're a man) or weak (if you're a woman). You don't have to pretend that you don't want to use, if you do--share what is real. We can't help if we don't know the truth. Grant me the courage to simply be who I am, say what is real in my gut, and respond genuinely to others. Endless Opportunities I can start over each day. I can start over each hour of each day. The universe is impersonal in that sense. It's always waiting for me to tell it what I want. Like attracts like. I tell the world what I want more of, by what I am thinking and feeling right now, right this minute. Today, every hour on the hour, I will allow myself to see something positive about my day. I'll let myself send out an order by my pleasant thoughts and feelings for more of the same. When I catch myself heading down a negative path I'll stop and consciously observe what is going through my mind. Life is full of chances and so is my day. I can start it over any time I want to. I shift my life a thought at a time - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.' This is an interesting slip of the tongue from Chapter Five of Alcoholic's Anonymous. Yet it contains a lot of wisdom. I cannot work the steps too soon, because I do not know how soon it may be too late. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I choose to live in the light of my truth today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I don't have a drinking problem today, I have a sobriety problem. If I pick up a drink, I've got a whole new problem. - Barney M. |
January 21
Daily Reflections SERVING MY BROTHER The member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE p. 279 As the days pass in A.A., I ask God to guide my thoughts and the words that I speak. In this labor of continuous participation in the Fellowship, I have numerous opportunities to speak. So I frequently ask God to help me watch over my thoughts and my words, that they may be the true and proper reflections of our program; to focus my aspirations once again to seek His guidance; to help me be truly kind and loving, helpful and healing, yet always filled with humility, and free from any trace of arrogance. Today I may very well have to deal with disagreeable attitudes or utterances -- the typical stock-in-trade attitude of the still-suffering alcoholic. If this should happen, I will take a moment to center myself in God, so that I will be able to respond from a perspective of composure, strength and sensibility. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day To grasp the A.A. program, we have to think things out. Saint Paul said: "They are transformed by the renewing of their minds." We have to learn to think straight. We have to change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. We must build up a new way of looking at things. Before we came into A.A., we wanted an artificial life of excitement and everything that goes with drinking. That kind of life looked normal to us then. But as we look back now, that life looks the exact opposite of normal. In fact, it looks most abnormal. We must reeducate our minds. Am I changing from an abnormal thinker to a normal thinker? Meditation For The Day I will take the most crowded day without fear. I believe that God is with me and controlling all. I will let confidence be the motif running through all the crowded day. I will not get worried, because I know that God is my helper. Underneath are the everlasting arms. I will rest in them, even though the day be full of things crowded in upon me. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be calm and let nothing upset me. I pray that I may not let material things control me and choke out spiritual things. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Citizens Again, p. 21 "Each of us in turn--that is, the member who gets the most out of the program--spends a very large amount of time on Twelfth Step work in the early years. That was my case, and perhaps I should not have stayed sober with less work. "However, sooner or later most of us are presented with other obligations--to family, friends, and country. As you will remember, the Twelfth Step also refers to 'practicing these principles in all our affairs.' Therefore, I think your choice of whether to take a particular Twelfth Step job is to be found in your own conscience. No one else can tell you for certain what you ought to do at a particular time. I just know that you are expected, at some point, to do more than carry the message of A.A. to other alcoholics. In A.A. we aim not only for sobriety--we try again to become citizens of the world that we rejected, and of the world that once rejected us. This is the ultimate demonstration toward which Twelfth Step work is the first but not the final step." Letter, 1959 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Giving Wisely is Safe___ Helping others. Most of us admit that we were selfish people when we drank. Even when we brought drinks for others, we did so either to seek their approval or in the expectancy that they would return the favor. Our need in sobriety is to become unselfish by giving freely and cheerfully of ourselves. This, too, has its pitfalls. Feeling guilty about past selfish-ness, we may go overboard in helping others do things that they need to do for themselves. This can only lead to failure and disillusionment. It is common to hear AA members complain about people who are not in recovery despite help extended to them in finding a job, a place to live, and other necessities. But in giving, it is not always right tolook for a "guid pro quo"… something in return….or even for the others person's recovery and well-being. It's best to let the giving itself be its own reward. If we fel good about what we have done, we probably are doing the right things. Later on, when additional and unexpected rewards come to us, we can accept them as bonuses. I can make progress in overcoming selfishness and self-centeredness if I give selflessly to others and take an honest interest in their problems. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple What is defeat?...Nothing but the first step to something better.------- Wendell Phillips A man walks into a meeting. He says," I surrender. I can't drink like other folks." We smile and welcome him. We know that feeling. All of us in the program must admit defeat. Our illness is more powerful than we are. We begin recovery when we surrender. Admitting defeat is our first step into a beautiful world. Like all first steps, it's hard. But what a world we find ourselves in! A world where we count. A world where all are really equal! This first step brings us into God's world of care. We get love. We give love. We stay sober because daily we admit defeat. Prayer for the Day: In surrender, I can't drink and use other drugs. I'm different. Higher Power, help me surrender daily. Action for the Day: Every so often, I need to admit defeat and talk about what it was like, what happened, and where I am now. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Too many activities, and people, and things. Too many worthy activities, valuable things, and interesting people. For it is not merely the trivial which clutters our lives but the important as well. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh We need interaction with others, and we need activities. We have many gifts to offer those who cross our paths, and we need the many gifts they have to offer us. But we soon have little to share, to give to others, if we neglect the special times, the empty spaces needed for nurturing the soul. Some time away from people, activities, and things, some time away to commune with God, to seek guidance, to seek security in the fullest sense, will prepare us to better give our gifts to others. That time alone will also ready us to accept others' gifts to us. It is true we find God's message in others. But the time alone with God lowers the barriers that too often prevent us from hearing another of God's messages as expressed through the friends and even foes who cross our paths. My gift to myself is some time alone. I deserve that gift today and every day. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t. p. 101 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. The next few years saw me living back in the old home with my father, as my girl had left me, taking my son. My drinking escalated even more, as did the guilt, remorse, and fear. I was hospitalized for dehydration, had a mild stroke, spent a week in a psychiatric ward, and suffered a number of alcoholic seizures. I lost the trust of my family and friends. They simply could not rely on me for anything. I would stop for a while, but I always drank again. p. 497 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity." Thus has it been with A.A. By faith and by works we have been able to build upon the lessons of an incredible experience. They live today in the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, which - God willing - shall sustain us in unity for so long as He may need us. p. 131 ************************************************** ********* When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. --Sherrie R. God claims by grace those who have no claim to grace. "In any moment of decision, The best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing." --President Theodore Roosevelt "Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." --Henry Ward Beecher Someone once said that it's bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips! So, keep laughing, everyone! --unknown The best way to get the last word is to apologize. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation TOLERANCE "The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish." -- Justice Robert Jackson I need to be tolerant in my sobriety. I need to allow others to say what they feel and live according to their standards. I was intolerant towards people who were different from myself. Much of what I criticized yesterday, I accept today; some things I still reject. To love a person should not require "sameness"; equally, I can accept a person without agreeing with what they say or how they behave. Disagreements and conflicts lead to growth; change requires a variety of forces. Not everything I say to do is "pure" --- and that has become the key to the acceptance of others. My history teaches me that I benefit from the variety of opinions that are represented in mankind. Lord, You have created many ways to Truth, may I appreciate them through the experiences of others. ************************************************** ********* "Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock." Matthew 7:24 "Beloved, we are God's children now." 1 John 3:2 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field God's building. 1 Corinthians 3:7-9 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When your burdens seem heavier than usual, know that your blessings are more than usual. Lord, I call on You for the strength, the wisdom and the confidence that I will need today. God values us so much that He gave us all that He has; His Son Jesus. Show that you value Him, too, by putting Him first in all aspects of your life. Lord, when I put You first in my life, order and peace follow. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Unity And Uniformity " Unity is a must in Narcotics Anonymous." Basic Text p. 60 Unity is not uniformity. Unity springs from the fact that we have unity of purpose-to recover, and to help others stay clean. Even so, we often find that while we strive to fulfill the same purpose, our means and methods may be radically different. We can't impose our ideas of unity on others or confuse unity with uniformity. In fact, a big attraction of the NA program is the absence of uniformity. Unity springs from our common purpose, not from standards imposed on the group by a few well-meaning members. A group that has the unity which springs from the loving hearts of its members allows each addict to carry the message in his or her own unique way. In our dealings with each other in NA, we sometimes disagree rather vocally. We must remember that the details of how we get things done isn't always important, so long as we keep our focus on the group's primary purpose. We can watch members who vehemently disagree over trivial things pull together when a newcomer reaches out for help. Someone was there for us when we got to the rooms of NA. Now it is our turn to be there for others. We need unity to help show the newcomer that this way of life works. Just for today: I will strive to be a part of unity. I know that unity does not equal uniformity. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If you realize you aren't so wise today as you thought you were yesterday, you're wiser today. --Olin Miller Smug was a kitten who thought she knew everything. She knew how to clean herself with her sandpaper tongue, how to sleep, eat, and keep warm, and how to sharpen her tiny claws. One day, her mother wanted to teach Smug to climb trees. I don't need to learn this, thought Smug, I already know everything I need to know. Without much interest, Smug watched her mother climb a tall tree and come down again. When it was Smug's turn, she said, "I'll stay on the ground where it's safe." Just then, a large black dog came trotting around the corner. Aren't we often like Smug, certain that we know all we need to know, or that we really don't need to know something another is trying to teach us? When we rid ourselves of the pride that keeps us from learning these things, we'll feel a little safer if any big black dogs come around the corner. And we will have grown smarter by recognizing our need to know more. Am I smart enough to admit my need to learn more today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There are things for which an uncompromising stand is worthwhile. --Dietrich Bonhoeffer For many of us, a time came when we said; "I'm not going to live this way anymore!" This was a deep, internal decision for change, even though we didn't know how it would come about. Somehow we had reached bottom, and we no longer debated about whose fault our problems were. We quit negotiating over what we would change and what we would not change. We were willing to put all our energy into finding a better life, no matter what it would require. That is the kind of inner readiness that finally made real change possible. Such willingness to take an uncompromising stand and give ourselves totally to a worthwhile cause is a model for our lives. It's the beginning of deep change. Many men and women have taken similar heroic stands for other causes, like world peace, compassion for the poor and hungry, human rights, and protection of the environment. On this day, I will take a stand for what is worthwhile. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Too many activities, and people, and things. Too many worthy activities, valuable things, and interesting people. For it is not merely the trivial which clutters our lives but the important as well. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh We need interaction with others, and we need activities. We have many gifts to offer those who cross our paths, and we need the many gifts they have to offer us. But we soon have little to share, to give to others, if we neglect the special times, the empty spaces needed for nurturing the soul. Some time away from people, activities, and things, some time away to commune with God, to seek guidance, to seek security in the fullest sense, will prepare us to better give our gifts to others. That time alone will also ready us to accept others' gifts to us. It is true we find God's message in others. But the time alone with God lowers the barriers that too often prevent us from hearing another of God's messages as expressed through the friends and even foes who cross our paths. My gift to myself is some time alone. I deserve that gift today and every day. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Wants and Needs Part of taking responsibility for us means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that's okay to do. Learning to tune in to us, learning to listen to ourselves, is an art. It takes practice. We can use our ability to guess what others want and need/ and apply that skill to ourselves. What does it sound like we might want and need? What would we guess would help us feel better? What are our feelings telling us? Our body? Our mind? Our intuition? If we ask, then listen closely; well hear the answer. We are wiser than we think, and we can be trusted. What we want and need counts. It's important, and it's valid. It's okay to learn to participate in meeting our own needs. We can learn to identify what we want and need and be patient with ourselves while we're learning. Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself. As I continue to grow on my spiritual path to recovery, I bask in the miracles of transformation and healing that are taking place in my life today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Discover Your Own Truth No truth is ours until we make it our own. All the truths in the world don’t matter unless and until we discover them to be true for ourselves. That’s what the journey is about. An insight, a lesson, a new belief is at the end of each adventure– whether that adventure happens in a moment, an hour, a day, or a year. This lesson doesn’t come from books, although books might help along the way. It doesn’t come from classes or lectures or well-meaning friends. The lesson we’re seeking comes from inside us, from our hearts, from our deep abiding connection to consciousness and the truth. It springs quietly from within us as we notice one day that we believe something new, something different, something more free, more fun, and more life-enhancing than what we believed before. For a moment we may turn back and say, Why didn’t I know that? Why didn’t I see that before? Then we step back on our path, laugh, and go on our way understanding that is why we are really here. Not to know everything in advance. But to allow ourselves to go freely through all the lessons that teach us all we came here to learn. You are on a journey of discovery. Find out what’s true for you. Remember. A truth isn’t yours until it rings true for you. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Try sharing with someone else When we hoard what we have been given, we block the door to receiving more. If you are feeling stagnant in your life, share some of what has been given to you. Let go of some of the sorrow that you have experienced by sharing your experience and the compassion that you have learned from it with another. Share your success by teaching someone else your methods. Share in the abundance given to you; donate to a favorite charity or church. Give of your time, your money, your abilities. When you give, you open the door to receive more. Sharing your experience, strength, and hope is key in a Twelve Step program. It’s a key to all of life, whether we’re recovering from addictions or not. Find some way to share yourself. Maybe it will be as simple as picking up the tab at lunch. Volunteer to help with a local project. Just find one small way to give. Give without any thought of compensation. Don’t look for a thank you; give without expectation. Be aware of how you feel in the act of sharing; be aware of the glow that you feel in the deepest part of your soul. Then, do it again. Keep sharing small pieces of your gifts– your experience, strength, and hope– until sharing becomes a natural part of you. Open your heart to all you’ve been given by sharing your gifts with someone else. That small glow you first felt in the bottom of your soul will soon overflow in your life. Maybe we gave compulsively and without joy at some time in our lives. The answer isn’t to permanently stop giving, It’s to learn to give with joy. God, help me give abundantly of what’s been given to me. Teach me how to give, so that both my giving and my receiving are healthy and free from attachments. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Every person, no matter what his or her balance for good or evil, is a part of the Divine economy. We are all children of God, and it is unlikely that He intends to favor one over another. So it is necessary for all of us to accept whatever positive gifts we receive with a deep humility, always bearing in mind that our negative attitudes were first necessary as a means of reducing us to such a state that we would be ready for a gift of the positive ones via the conversion experience. Do I accept the fact that my addiction and the bottom I finally reached are the bedrock upon which my spiritual foundation rests? Today I Pray May I know that from the first moment I admitted my powerlessness, God-give power was mine. Every step taken from that moment of defeat has been a step in the right direction. The First Step is a giant st4ep. Though it is often taken in despair, may I realize that I must be drained of hope before I can be refilled with fresh hope, sapped of wilfulness before I can feel the will of God. Today I Will Remember Power through powerlessness. ***************************************** One More Day Historic continuity with the past is not a duty, it is a necessity. – Oliver Wendell Holmes Our personal histories mark the pathways of life. Our having lived and loved and worked makes a difference in thousands of ways. This impact on life is a history and heritage for our loved ones and for ourselves. What memories have we created for those we love? Perhaps quilts that will be treasured as family heirlooms. A family farm or profession? But what else? Even more important than heirlooms and family jobs are loving memories and personal histories. Recorded histories, especially anecdotal, can be written or tape recorded. Pictures can be taken, and older photos can be labeled for the generations to come. What will we leave when we die? Communication, tradition, and the ability to love unconditionally. This small but important moment is a good time to record my journey thus far and to affirm my sense of continuity. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ POSITIVE THINKING ~ Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. Zig Ziglar I came into Twelve Step meetings after descending into a well of negative thinking. It was a vicious cycle, one I wasn't even aware of for the longest time. My negative thinking fostered many resentments, hurts and binges. Once I became aware of this and started to work on changing my destructive thinking, I discovered that letting in just one negative thought opened the door to more negative thinking. Then one day in a meeting I heard a longtimer say that negative thinking attracted negative (thinking and actions) and positive thinking attracted positive (thinking and actions). That made sense with what I was experiencing. As I walked out of that meeting, I determined that I would do everything I could to keep all my thoughts positive in order to attract more positives to my life. It worked! The more positive I could keep my thoughts, the better I felt about everything, and the more good things happened to me. My general attitude soared. When a bad thing happened (and they do happen) I found good things about it and focused on the good. Many many times I discovered that the "bad" thing had actually been a new good direction in disguise. Positive attracts positive. Negative attracts negative. I'd rather attract positive. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity, especially through the bad times. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened. - Pg. 37 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Learning to be tolerant of others, a difficult task at best, does not mean that we have to agree with them! Tolerance disagrees agreeably, we think. If someone disagrees with us right now, we can agree to disagree. Right now I ask for the serenity to agree to disagree because my discomfort for prolonged times could lead me to pick up that first fix, pill, or drink! Bearing Witness When I have an undesirable thought today, like jealousy, anger or self doubt I will just observe it in my mind. I will allow the thought to really be there. I won't try to deny it or eradicate it. I will simply give it space and witness it. As I do this, the thought transforms. As I see it for what it is and accept it as a part of me, I give it the breathing room it needs to play itself through, to change into something else. I cannot hide from me, nor do I wish to. I can be my own best friend by allowing myself the space to think what I am really thinking and feel what I am really feeling knowing that it doesn't have to lead to blind action. There is another more powerful and fruitful action that I can take. It is in simply witnessing, allowing and trusting that this process will lead to awareness, transformation and a more permanent change than is possible through denial. Today I will give myself the gift of self reflection. I observe the workings of my inner mind - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Today you are leading a life. When you were drinking and drugging, you were a life being led. It is God's job to make miracles and I am one of them. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Being recovered from alcoholism is like getting a gunshot wound. You can recover from it, but it does NOT make you bulletproof. Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I continue to grow on my spiritual path to recovery, I bask in the miracles of transformation and healing that are taking place in my life today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Other diseases have blood tests and X-rays. We have an inventory. And if you stick around long enough to do it, you'll be actually able take a picture of your alcoholism. You'll actually be able to see your disease. - Scott R. |
January 22
Daily Reflections "LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE" A few hours later I took my leave of Dr. Bob. . . The wonderful, old, broad smile was on his face as he said almost jokingly, "Remember, Bill, let's not louse this thing up. Let's keep it simple!" I turned away, unable to say a word. That was the last time I ever saw him. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE, p 214 After years of sobriety I occasionally ask myself: "Can it be this simple?" Then, at meetings, I see former cynics and skeptics who have walked the A.A. path out of hell by packaging their lives, without alcohol, into twenty-four hour segments, during which they practice a few principles to the best of their individual abilities. And then I know again that, while it isn't always easy, if I keep it simple, it works. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In the beginning, you want to get sober, but you're helpless, so you turn to a Power greater than yourself and by trusting in that Power, you get the strength to stop drinking. From then on, you want to keep sober, and that's a matter of reeducating your mind. After a while, you get so that you really enjoy simple, healthy, normal living. You really get a kick out of life without the artificial stimulus of alcohol. All you have to do is look around at the members of any A.A. group and you will see how their outlook has changed. Is my outlook on life changing? Meditation For The Day I will never forget to say thank you to God, even on the greyest days. My attitude will be one of humility and gratitude. Saying thank you to God is a daily practice that is absolutely necessary. If a day is not one of thankfulness, the practice has to be repeated until it becomes so. Gratitude is a necessity for those who are seeking a better life. Prayer For The Day I pray that gratitude will bring humility. I pray that humility will bring me to live a better life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Fear as a Steppingstone, p. 22 The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. << << << >> >> >> For all its usual destructiveness, we have found that fear can be the starting point for better things. Fear can be a steppingstone to prudence and to a decent respect for others. It can point the path to justice, as well as to hate. And the more we have of respect and justice, the more we shall begin to find the love which can suffer much, and yet be freely given. So fear need not always be destructive, because the lessons of its consequences can lead us to positive values. 1. 12 & 12, p. 76 2. Grapevine, January 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Humiliation in Humility____ Self-understanding. With few exceptions, every alcoholic eventually meets humiliation and defeat. This is especially painful in a world that places high value on winning and on having the approval and admiration of others. We feel diminished by these defeats. Nobody likes to be humbled, to be made to appear less than other people. Yet these humiliations serve a constructive purpose if they lead us to seek humility. Truly humble people cannot really be humiliated, because they no longer rely on the false supports of worldly praise and approval. We develop humility as we withdraw from a reliance on our own powers and personality and realize that we ourselves can do nothing; it is our Higher Power who does the work. Still, there is a paradox in humility. The person who admits he or she can do nothing will, in the process, tap into powers that were never available in the previous state of mind. In truth, humility is never humiliation or weakness, though these may lead to it. Humility is really a road to the power that only God can give us. I'll watch myself today for the crazy things that set me up for humiliation. I won't try to impress others or win their admiration today. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Go often to the house of your friend: for weeds soon choke up the unused path. ----Scandinavian proverb. Our program has two parts: the Steps, and the fellowship. Both keep us sober. We can't stay sober if we go it alone. We need to work the Steps. We also need people--the help of our friends daily Recovery is about relationships. We get new friends. We get involved. We give. We get. In times of need, we may not want to ask our new friends for help. Maybe we don't want to "burden them." "Maybe we're afraid to ask for help." Well, go ahead. Make that call. Ask your new friend to spend time with you. You deserve and need it. They deserve it; they need it. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to get help from my friends as if my life depends on it. Action for the Day: Today, I'll see or call two program friends and let them know how I'm doing. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning One cannot have wisdom without living life. --Dorothy McCall Living life means responding, wholly, to our joys and our pitfalls. It means not avoiding the experiences or activities that we fear we can't handle. Only through our survival of them do we come to know who we really are; we come to understand the strength available to us at every moment. And that is wisdom. When we approach life tentatively, we reap only a portion of its gifts. It's like watching a movie in black and white that's supposed to be in Technicolor. Our lives are in color, but we must have courage to let the colors emerge, to feel them, absorb them, be changed by them. Within our depths, we find our true selves. The complexities of life teach us wisdom. And becoming wise eases the many pitfalls in our path. Living life is much more than just being alive. I can choose to jump in with both feet. Wisdom awaits me in the depths. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead! pp. 101- 102 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I can certainly identify with out co-founder Bill W. when he says on page 4 of the Big Book: " . . . the old fierce determination to win came back." I would take a drink, and then I knew everything was going to be all right. I was going to clean up my act; everything was going to change--you'll see. It didn't; nothing changed. I tried so many ways of beating the game; I went to church and took a pledge; I went to a Native sweat lodge; I would do something so I would be put in jail; I vowed to stay away from hard liquor. Nothing worked. Then came the pills to stop the shakes and get off the sauce for a while. p. 497 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." Where does A.A. get its direction? Who runs it? This, too, is a puzzler for every friend and newcomer. When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer who can compel the payment of any dues, no board of directors who can cast an erring member into outer darkness, when indeed no A.A. can give another a directive and enforce obedience, our friends gasp and exclaim, "This simply can't be. There must be an angle somewhere." These practical folk then read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express Himself in the group conscience. They dubiously ask an experienced A.A. member if this really works. The member, sane to all appearances, immediately answers, "Yes! It definitely does." The friends mutter that this looks vague, nebulous, pretty naive to them. Then they commence to watch us with speculative eyes, pick up a fragment of A.A. history, and soon have the solid facts. p. 132 ************************************************** ********* There is no mountain, God cannot help us to climb. --Shelley Learn to listen to your inner voice. Listen to your heart. It's your connection to God, to people, to the universe, and to yourself. --Melody Beattie "Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace." --Author Unknown "The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless." --Hosea Ballou People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering. --St. Augustine There is a hole and empty place within us that we have tried to fill. Today we know that this is a God shaped hole, that only God can fill. A place where acceptance, understanding, love and support are a given. --Author Unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation POETRY "Poetry is not an assertion of truth, but the making of that truth more fully real to us." -- T. S. Eliot God is able to communicate Himself in a thousand different ways and one such way is poetry. Spirituality is discovering God in His creation, and this involves more than religion or denominationalism. Spirituality is a comprehensive approach to God's world and is the unifying factor at the center of the universe. Spirituality is about what is true --- wherever it is found in the world. Poetry and other art forms become part of the spiritual journey for us as we struggle to understand and communicate truth. In poetry may I find an expression of Your love for me; in my use of poetry, may I express my love for You. ************************************************** ********* "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalms 34:4 Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit. Psalm 147:5 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:36-38 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Behave as though God is standing next to you because He is. Lord, we make a great team and together we are able to make a big difference. If you think success and really believe it will happen, you will perform in a manner that leads to success. Lord, may I always avoid negative thoughts and visualize myself in the manner that You intended for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The School Of Recovery " This is a program for learning." Basic Text p. 16 Learning in recovery is hard work. The things we most need to know are often the hardest to learn. We study recovery to prepare ourselves for the experiences life will give us. As we listen to others share in meetings, we take mental notes we can refer to later. Tobe prepared, we study our notes and literature between "lessons." Just as students have the opportunity to apply their knowledge during tests, so do we have the opportunity to apply our recovery during times of crisis. As always, we have a choice in how we will approach life's challenges. We can dread and avoid them as threats to our sereniW or we can gratefully accept them as opportunities for growth. By confirming the principles we've learned in recovery, life's challenges give us increased strength. Without such challenges, however, we could forget what we've learned and begin to stagnate. These are the opportunities that prod us to new spiritual awakenings. We will find that there is often a period of rest after each crisis, giving us time to get accustomed to our new skills. Once we've reflected on our experience, we are called on to share our knowledge with someone who is studying what we've just learned. In the school of recovery, all of us are teachers as well as students. Just for today: I will be a student of recovery. I will welcome challenges, confident in what I've learned and eager to share it with others. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Animals are such agreeable friends they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. --George Eliot A pet is often liked by everyone and seems to have no enemies. Why is this? Pets are friendly and interested in others. They seem to get joy out of just being with us. They do not have a critical attitude. When mistreated or neglected for a while, they are quick to forgive and quickly seek once again to be by our side. Each of us is a valuable part of the family. When we treasure one another and don't waste our time finding each other's faults, we will begin to have fewer faults. When we accept our loved ones as they are and enjoy sharing our lives with them, our lives become more enjoyable, and our family love grows because we are each more lovable. What can I accept in others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The human heart in its perversity finds it hard to escape hatred and revenge. --Moses Luzzatto This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. No man can progress in his recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns. Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop. When we are willing to be honest, to be humble, to be learners, to be led in a constructive direction, to allow time to be guided rather than seek instant cure, then we will learn trust and will surely make progress. I do not need to know exactly how to let go of my resentments or what will happen after 1 do. I simply must toe ready to let them go. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. One cannot have wisdom without living life. --Dorothy McCall Living life means responding, wholly, to our joys and our pitfalls. It means not avoiding the experiences or activities that we fear we can't handle. Only through our survival of them do we come to know who we really are; we come to understand the strength available to us at every moment. And that is wisdom. When we approach life tentatively, we reap only a portion of its gifts. It's like watching a movie in black and white that's supposed to be in Technicolor. Our lives are in color, but we must have courage to let the colors emerge, to feel them, absorb them, be changed by them. Within our depths, we find our true selves. The complexities of life teach us wisdom. And becoming wise eases the many pitfalls in our path. Living life is much more than just being alive. I can choose to jump in with both feet. Wisdom awaits me in the depths. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Appreciating Our Past It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes--stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth. Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today. I deserve to have wonderful things to happen in my life today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Open to the Power of Comfort Packed in the back of my Jeep I stored my favorite red woolen blanket. I didn’t need it for warmth because I didn’t sleep in the cold. I needed it to remind me of the importance of comfort. Open yourself to receive comfort, the comfort that touches the heart and nurtures the soul. Many of us grew up and lived our lives without experiencing true comfort, true nurturing. Many of us didn’t know it existed. But at some level, that’s what we’ve been looking for. Comfort is the loving arms of a mother who sees only the beauty of her child. A mother who attends to the needs, who nurtures the heart and soul of her child. This kind of comfort is acceptance and love at its finest. Open your heart to receive comfort. Learn to give it,too. Comfort touches and heals our souls. Take it with you like a favorite blanket wherever you go. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of your plans Letting go can feel so unnatural. We work hard for a promotion, a relationship, a new car, a vacation. Then the universe has the gall to come along and mess up our plans. How dare it! And so, rather than opening ourselves to the experiences that await us, we hold on to the plans that we made for ourselves. Or we hold on to bitterness about our plans going awry. Sometimes losing our dreams and plans for our future can hurt as much as losing a tangible thing. Sometimes accepting and releasing our broken dreams is part of accepting a loss. Let go of your expectations. The universe will do what it will. Sometimes your dreams will come true. Sometimes they won’t. Sometimes when you let go of a broken dream, another one gently takes its place. Be aware of what is, not what you would like to be, taking place. God, help me let go of my expectations and accept the gifts that you give me each day, knowing that there is beauty and wonder in each act of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day In a very real sense, we are imprisoned by our inability or unwillingness to reach out for help to a Power greater than ourselves. But in time, we pray to be relieved of the bondage of self, so that we can better do God’s will. In the words of Ramakrsihna, “The sun and moon are not mirrored in cloudy waters, thus the Almighty cannot be mirrored in a heart that is obsessed by the idea of ‘me and mine.’” Have I set myself free form the prison of self-will and pride which I myself have built? Have I accepted freedom? Today I Pray May the word freedom take on the meanings for me, not just “freedom from” my addiction, but “freedom to” overcome it. Not just freedom from the slavery of self-will, but freedom to hear and carry out the will of God. Today I Will Remember Freedom from means freedom to. ***************************************** One More Day To live happily is an inward power of the soul. – Marcus Aurelius While we were still very healthy, we may not have realized how much we depended on others for our physical and emotional well-being. Perhaps we rarely turned toward our own strength or to a Power greater than ourselves. Because we had depended so little on ourselves, we may have, at first, felt defeated. Ironically, we’ve become strengthened by illness. Sour searching and taking personal inventory are tools we used to discover the mental and spiritual reserves that were always available to us but little used. The love and support of others are still important to us, but now we have a greater sense of balance which strengthens us and our relationships. My inner spiritual messages transcend my need to depend on others. This strengthens me, my faith, and all the people touched by my life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SERVICE ~ The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. Albert Schweitzer In my first few 12 step meetings, I was so angry. On one hand, I didn't think I needed to be there, although deep inside, I knew I did. People were nice enough, greeted me, made me feel welcome, but I kept myself apart with my anger. I was angry that there seemed to be a small core group of members who attended weekly and obviously knew each other well. I didn't think they'd let me in their inner group; I didn't get invited. Next, I tried to get the program without working the Steps. That inner group talked about the Steps all the time. I'd show them how good I was; I'd get the program, get the recovery they'd gotten, by taking a shorter route. The Steps were for dummies, and I wasn't dumb. I quickly found out the Steps are the only way to get the 12 step program, hence its name. I struggled for a long time. Then I started giving service to my group. It started off by simply straightening up the room because I always got there early. I asked for a key so I could put out the books. I started greeting newcomers, who usually showed up early. When the person who'd signed on to do the topic didn't make it one week, I agreed to lead the meeting. To my shock, I was giving service. In looking back at my first weeks in the program, I realized that the "inner core" of my home group had become my very good friends. When had I been asked in? Never. I joined when I began to give service and became one of them, the service-givers to the group. I learned why they seemed to have such effortless growth-- it came from giving service. With service I always get back much more than I put in. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember to give of myself. I will remember that giving service in the program gives me so many gifts in return. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past. But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them. - Pg.132 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It doesn't cost a lot of money for us to recover. It cost a lot of time. We have to be diligent and program consciousness from this hour to the next, every hour for the rest of our lives. We 'have' to do it, until we 'want' to do it. I embrace our program in gratitude. A Still Small Voice I will have faith. I will follow that still small voice within me. When I have doubts, which of course I will have, I will reach down within myself and pull up something that I thought wasn't even there, I'll pull up faith that things will be all right. Whether or not things are going just the way I want them to, I'll have faith that they will somehow right themselves in the end. It will work out, or it won't work out, but still, all will be OK. I will give myself the gift of faith. My faith sustains me - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'For a time we are living inside a scream where there seems to be no exit, only echoes. The small cares that seemed so important yesterday seem like nothing, and our daily concerns become petty and irrelevant. When we finally reclaim ourselves, as we ultimately do, we are changed.' -Kent Nerburn, Simple Truths Cooperating with God is the easier softer way. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Alcoholics make pour choices. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I deserve to have wonderful things to happen in my life today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Drinking is not a word, it's a sentence. - Anon. |
January 23
Daily Reflections HAVING FUN YET? . . . we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 132 When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that clocked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I'm taking myself too seriously - and finding it difficult to admit that I've strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order. I think the pain I experience is one way my Higher Power has to get my attention, coaxing me to take stock of my performance. The slight time and effort it takes to work the program - a spot-check inventory, for example, or the making of amends, whatever is appropriate - are well worth the effort. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcoholics are people whose drinking got them into a "blind alley." They haven't been able to learn anything from their drinking experiences. They are always making the same mistakes and suffering the same consequences over and over again. They refuse to admit they're alcoholic. They still think they can handle the stuff. They won't swallow their pride and admit that they're different from ordinary drinkers. They won't face the fact that they must spend the rest of their lives without liquor. They can't visualize life without ever taking a drink. Am I out of this blind alley? Meditation For The Day I believe that God has all power. It is His to give and His to withhold. But He will not withhold it from the person who dwells near Him, because then it passes insensibly from God to that person. It is breathed in by the person who lives in God's presence. I will learn to live in God's presence and then I will have those things which I desire of Him: strength, power, and joy. God's power is available to all who need it and are willing to accept it. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may get myself out of the way, so that God's power may flow in. I pray that I may surrender myself to that power. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Worshipers All, p. 23 We found that we had indeed been worshipers. What a state of mental goose flesh that used to bring on! Had we not variously worshiped people, sentiment, things, money, and ourselves? And then, with a better motive, had we not worshipfully beheld the sunset, the sea, or a flower? Who of us had not loved something or somebody? Were these not things the tissue out of which our lives were constructed? Did not these feelings, after all, determine the course of our existence? It was impossible to say we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship. In one form or another, we had been living by faith and little else. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 54 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Thinking well of ourselves___ Raising self-esteem Although there may have been conceit and cockiness in our past behavior, most of us suffered from feelings of low self-esteem. We often felt alone and unworthy. Often, we had memories of parents and others who reminded us of our shortcomings or compared us unfavorably with others. Whatever our past problems, we can raise our self-esteem in the present. We can begin by forgiving ourselves and others for past wrongs and mistakes. We must become willing to give up any belief or practice that causes us to dislike ourselves. We can remember that our self-esteem does not depend on achievements or on winning in competitions with others. Despite our failings, now and in the past, we are worthy in the sight of God and are entitled to God's grace. Growth in the program usually brings growth in self-esteem. If we think well of ourselves, in the right sense, others will tend to think well of us, too. With proper self-esteem, we will not be crushed or dismayed when someone seems to dislike us. Our feelings about ourselves will be much more than a mirror of others' opinions. I will think well of myself today, I will not put myself down, even jokingly. I will know that if God is for me, no one can be against me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Sex, like all else between human beings, is never prefect. --- Theodore Isaac Rubin Addiction made our sex lives a mess. Maybe we wanted prefect sex or we wanted no sex. We were afraid. Maybe we wanted a high from sex we just couldn't seem to get it. Some of us had lots of sex partners; some of us had none. What now? We're doing what we need to do by being in recovery. We're getting to know ourselves. We're living by our real values. We’re being honest with ourselves and others. We're learning to love and care about others. It's open, honest caring we express with our bodies. Thus, sex can be trusting and safe. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I turn over my sex life and my will to You---Just for today. I know You want me to be happy. Action for the Day: What do I believe about sex? How does it match with what's said in the third paragraph above? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning She had trouble defining herself independently of her husband, tried to talk to him about it, but he said nonsense, he had no trouble defining her at all. --Cynthia Propper Seton To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out. Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage--both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence. Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don’t start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor. p. 102 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. One evening during a party at my home, an argument led to fighting, as usual. One of my brothers stabbed me in the back with a knife, and I fell to the floor unconscious. I came to in the hospital. They told me that one lung had collapsed, and they had a drain in my lung that came out the side of my body. The very next day some friends came to visit me, bringing a bottle of liquor. I still had that pride. I was still the tough guy. I lay there in bed with tubes draining my lung and smoked cigarettes and drank liquor. Later, in A.A., I had the nerve to question Step Two and wonder why I had to be "restored to sanity." pp. 497-498 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." What are these facts of A.A. life which brought us to this apparently impractical principle? John Doe, a good A.A. moves - let us say - to Middletown, U.S.A. Alone now, he reflects that he may not be able to stay sober, or even alive, unless he passes on to other alcoholics what was so freely given him. He feels a spiritual and ethical compulsion, because hundreds may be suffering within reach of his help. Then, too, he misses his home group. He needs other alcoholics as much as they need him. He visits preachers, doctors, editors, policemen , and bartenders ... with the result that Middletown now has a group, and he is the founder. pp. 132-133 ************************************************** ********* I touch my feelings, knowing, I have never been so free, I have never been so happy, sobriety, has changed me. --Shelley There is a guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word… Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to truth and perfect contentment. --Ralph Waldo Emerson Look for the beauty inside of each person. --I. June Stephenson The God who calls us into the unknown travels with us. --Robert W. Rae Spiritual vision means looking at life as God does. --Lisa D. Wiener Whatever our future holds for us, we will find God already there. --Patricia Garrison ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SLEEP "Sleep that knots up the raveled sleeve of care." -- William Shakespeare When I was new in my recovery from alcoholism I was told to remember the letters H.A.L.T.: Do not get too: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Sleep is something my body needs, and even if I do not always know it, my body does. The tiredness in my body is telling me to slow down. Sleep is part of my spiritual program because it enables me to feel rested, invigorated and alive. Through sleep I am able to be creative and positive in my life --- showing a practical love to my body. Sleep is me taking care of self! Thank You for the joy and rest that comes with sleep. ************************************************** ********* "But I will hope continually, and will praise you yet more and more." Psalm 71:14 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. Psalm 141:3,8,9,13,14,17,18,20 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Shine a little brighter today because someone needs your light. Lord, may I reflect You like sun hitting a mirror. If you are not happy with what you have, how will you be happy with what you want to have? Lord, may I appreciate the good things in my life and refuse to feel sorry for myself or compare myself to others. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Serenity Check " Lack of daily maintenance can show up in many ways." Basic Text p. 91 Ever had a perfect stranger remark about how great the weather was, only to reply "It stinks"? When this happens, we are probably suffering from a lack of daily maintenance in our program. In recovery, life can get pretty hectic. Maybe those added responsibilities at work have got you hopping. Maybe you haven't been to a meeting for awhile. Perhaps you've been too busy to meditate, or haven't been eating regularly or sleeping well. Whatever the reason, your serenity is slipping. When this happens, it is crucial that we take action. We can't afford to let one "bad day"; complete with a bad attitude, slip into two days, four days, or a week. Our recovery depends on our daily maintenance program. No matter what is happening in our lives, we can't afford to neglect the principles that have saved our lives. There are many ways to recover our serenity. We can go to a meeting, phone our sponsor, meet another recovering addict for lunch, or try to carry the message to a newcomer. We can pray. We can take a moment to ask ourselves what simple things we haven't been doing. When our attitudes head downhill, we can avert a crash with simple solutions. Just for today: I will examine the maintenance of my daily program of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Little girl, little girl, where have you been? --Mother Goose She's been everywhere and nowhere in and around the house. She's been in her room crying with her doll, on the grass kicking her ball, on the floor big-eyed and blank in front of the TV. Her things are everywhere in the way, as if left there to block the path. She learns to be happiest alone in her room. There she can gather roses to give to the Queen and receive in return a diamond as big as a shoe. There she can wait for some prince, or dream of crossing the street without looking back. We are all the same way, even as adults. We live with our dreams and fantasies, and our secret lives thrive in privacy. All around us, our loved ones live out their private lives often unnoticed by us until we enter them. When we honor others' unspoken needs, when we allow others their privacy without being asked, or when we appreciate something they've done, we share the joy of living together in natural harmony. How invisible are those in our presence every day? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well-organized routine a bit of unscheduled pleasure. --Richard Lannelli The idea of turning our lives and our will over to the care of God is a very revolutionary thing to do. We are being told, "Let go of your excessive carefulness. Let the spirit guides you." When we are in touch with ourselves, with the people around us, with God, we are free to experiment. We don't learn from doing the same things correctly again and again. We learn from trying new things and making mistakes. Over control is spiritually deadening. This is a program of life. Our renewal is a miraculous event. Why stop now? We can be in touch with the messages around us without trying to control the outcome. When we let God do the worrying, we find many possibilities open up, As this adventure of life unfolds, I will not shy away from it. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. She had trouble defining herself independently of her husband, tried to talk to him about it, but he said nonsense, he had no trouble defining her at all. --Cynthia Propper Seton To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out. Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage--both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence. Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. New Energy Coming Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. --Beyond Codependency There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment. There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven't worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past. The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass. Do not limit the future by the past! Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then? Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever. We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience. Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it. A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something. Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new. Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me. I let God guide me in my recovery today, knowing that all decisions that come from good and love will bring me joy. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Honor the Needs of Your Body Take time to rest and regroup as often as you need. At the beginning of the journey and along the way take time to honor your body. When you honor your body, you honor your soul. You have been working hard on yourself, on your spiritual growth. You are moving forward, evolving at a rapid pace. Give your body time to catch up. Your body isn’t a bother; it’s an ally. Your body knows what it needs, and what your soul needs,too. Tune in to your body. Listen. On those days when your body is adjusting, regrouping, shifting because you’re growing and healing emotionally and spiritually, let it do that. Don’t ignore it. Don’t force it. Be gentle. Recognize its nuances. Ask it what it needs. Juice? Vitamins? Rest? Exercise? Let it tell you. Then go easy. Do tasks that are easier, that seem to fit what you can handle that day. After a spiritual growth spurt, our body works diligently to flush the toxins released when emotions are cleansed and healed. After a day, week, or month of intense spiritual growth, our body is tired from flushing through so many emotions, going through so many changes. To deny the body’s connection to our growth, to push it when it needs rest, is denying the importance and impact of the spiritual work we’re doing. By taking time to honor the body, to honor its shifts and needs, it will be there for you in a way it has never been before. Rest and care will help it come back to center quickly. You will have the benefit of a healed spirit and a body that was allowed to adjust and adapt to that healing process. You will be honoring the oneness of body, mind, and soul. You will be honoring your newfound connection. Taking time to honor the needs of your body is taking time to respect the needs of your soul. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Remember to let go A friend called me into the next room. I didn’t want to move. I was head-deep in obsession, fretting about something I couldn’t change, at least not at that moment. I reluctantly walked to the window where he stood, walking in that stiff, unnatural way we jerk about when we’re obsessing. “Look at the moonlight reflecting off the waves,” he said. I stared at the white shimmering ripples in the ocean, like diamonds in the night. We talked for a moment, about whether it was phosphorescence– that delightful and new phenomenon that causes the sea to glow in the dark– or whether it was simply moonlight bouncing off the waves. We decided it was light. I walked away, a little more relaxed. Letting go isn’t something we do to manipulate the universe into giving us what we want. It’s a way of opening our hearts to receive the gifts it and God have for us. God, help me remember that I don’t have to let go today, but I’ll be happier if I do. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, an of our surroundings — that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. As addictive persons, we lost our ability to choose whether wee would pursue our addictions. Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. Do I believe that in “becoming willing,” I have made the best of all choice? Today I Pray May I shed the idea that I am the world’s victim, an unfortunate creature caught in a web of circumstance, inferring that others ought to “:make it up to me” because I have been given a bad deal on this earth. We are always given choices. May God help me to choose wisely. Today I Will Remember God is not a puppeteer. ***************************************** One More Day Those wrinkles are the map of my life. … They’re battle scars. – Etta Furlow One woman calls her wrinkles a patina that glows only with age. When first we notice tiny sprinkles — crow’s feet or smile lines — we may lament our loss of youth. Naturally, our faces change as we age. Our life experiences, both joy and pain, etch themselves on our faces as surely as they mold our minds and spirits. Our bodies may begin to change as well. Previously nimble fingers may stiffen; backaches and a slowed pace may become the norm. Skin is but a wrapping for the inner soul, and the soul’s enjoyment of life is not diminished by its wrapping. Our spirits never grow old. Our belief in the beauty and joy of life is renewed with each season. And we remain strong. My body will change as the years go by, but I will stay aware of my spirit and faith. This keeps me emotionally vibrant. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ CRITICISM ~ To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. Elbert Hubbard For so many years, I thought I was the only kid who had been raised with criticism. Fear of criticism is one of the reasons I walked on eggshells at home. I learned to fear success in anything and everything. If I could only be "middle of the road," maybe no one would notice me and I wouldn't have to deal with criticism. I did what I had to do to survive. As I grew older, I received constructive criticism by wise people, but sadly, I didn't know how to utilize such a gift. It hurt me, and I turned away from well-meaning people. I rebelled against their advice. The program has taught me that all criticism is not bad. I never thought a day would come where I was comfortable with it. I recently took a correspondence course to help me with my work, and naturally the instructor had to critique my work. I worried about that before I took the course. In fact, I'd wanted to take that class for years, but had not been able to handle the cold fear that stabbed at me when I looked at the application. I finished the class last month. There was much criticism to help me to learn, and I didn't shrink from it. I learned from it. It's all in the attitude. One Day at a Time . . . I will pray to remember I have choices. I will pray to keep my attitude in a good place so that I might see all the opportunities available to me. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote ...for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. - Pg. 55 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote To a practicing addict who lives wholly in the sensations of the body, the recovery state may seem like utter boredom. But as we learn to live balanced in body, mind, and soul we will wonder why we ever thought the state of addiction exciting. May I know that it is not so much boredom as me being boring that's my problem. I Have Faith I rely on faith. Faith sustains me and guides me. Faith is my constant companion. It leads me through passages of terrifying darkness and blinding light. Faith allows me to weave my life into a coherent whole, to walk on a path that others have lit, to strike out on my own and cut my way through the underbrush. There is nothing in my life that faith doesn't make better. There is no day that faith doesn't give meaning and purpose to. There is no relationship that faith doesn't guide and sustain. I need my faith to live - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Nothing contributes more to the peace of the soul than having no opinion at all.' -George Christopher Lichtenberg When I have no opinion on outside issues, I cannot be drawn into controversy. (Tradition Ten) "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Few alcoholics or addicts blame themselves before exhausting all other possibilities. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I let God guide me in my recovery today, knowing that all decisions that come from good and love will bring me joy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote When I slide over from being 'On the Program' to 'Self Will Run Riot' it's seamless. There's no bump, no warning, I'm just there. That's why I need Step 1O. - Trip S. |
January 24
Daily Reflections GETTING INVOLVED There is action and more action. "Faith without works is dead." . . . To be helpful is our only aim. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , pp. 88-89 I understand that service is a vital part of recovery but I often wonder, "What can I do?" Simply start with what I have today! I look around to see where there is a need. Are the ashtrays full? Do I have hands and feet to empty them? Suddenly I'm involved! The best speaker may make the worst coffee; the member who's best with newcomers may be unable to read; the one willing to clean up may make a mess of the bank account - yet every one of these people and jobs is essential to an active group. The miracle of service is this: when I use what I have, I find there is more available to me than I realized before. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcoholics who are living in a blind alley refuse to be really honest with themselves or with other people. They're running away from life and won't face things as they are. They won't give up their resentments. They're too sensitive and too easily hurt. They refuse to try to be unselfish. They still want everything for themselves. And no matter how many disastrous experiences they have had with drinking, they still do it over and over again. There's only one way to get out of that blind alley way of living and that's to change your thinking. Have I changed my thinking? Meditation For The Day I know that the vision and power that I receive from God are limitless, as far as spiritual things are concerned. But in temporal and material things, I must submit to limitations. I know that I cannot see the road ahead. I must go just one step at a time, because God does not grant me a longer view. I am in uncharted waters, limited by my temporal and spatial life, but unlimited in my spiritual life. Prayer For The Day I pray that, in spite of my material limitations, I may follow God's way. I pray that I may learn that trying to do His will is perfect freedom. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Alike When The Chips Are Down, p. 24 In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different; A.A. couldn't be for them. But as the communication was perfected, mostly by the women themselves, the picture changed. This process of identification and transmission has gone on and on. The Skid-Rower said he was different. Even more loudly, the socialite (or Park Avenue stumblebum) said the same--so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. But nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down. Grapevine, October 1959 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Hidden Thoughts_____Moral Inventory It is fortunate that we can think in secret, because our thoughts would quickly get us in trouble if others could read them. In our thoughts, we can choose what we wish to reveal to others before we speak or act. In the long run, however, we do not really conceal our true thoughts and feelings. The nature of our thoughts shapes our character and becomes part of us. It even affects our appearance. It is not difficult at all to identify people who are fearful, angry, or jealous. This process has its good side, because kind thoughts and feelings also affect our appearance, and in positive ways. Norman V. Peale wrote that "God runs a beauty parlor," meaning that plain people with gracious thoughts tend to become more attractive as years wear on. We need not fear our own thoughts and feelings if we are continuing to work the program. As the sober years stretch out, we will be improving our thoughts and feelings, and this will tell others what the program is doing for us and through us. I'll remember today that I don't really keep my thoughts and feelings secret. I will think well of myself and all others. I know that there are no hidden thoughts in the long run. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed. Bertand Russell In recovery learn to give up hate. We must stand for justice, not for hate. We must learn to respect people. They, in turn, will respect us in most cases. We begin to see how important it is to give up hate--if we want others to care for us. Hate is often our secret. Hate is found deep in our hearts and minds. It eats at our souls. It hurts our spiritual growth. Sometimes people are public about their hate. There are even dangerous groups based on hate. But, the most dangerous hate is the private and unspoken. Do I have public hates? Do I have secret hates? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, search my hearts and show me any hates I have. Help me rid myself of them. Action for the Day: I'll list any people, nations, to creeds I hate. I'll pray to have this hate removed. I'll pray for these people, nations, or creeds. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. --Judy Collins The child within each of us is fragile, but very much alive, and she interprets our experiences before we are even conscious of them. It is our child who may fear new places, unfamiliar people, strange situations. Our child needs nurturing, the kind she may not have received in the past. We can take her hand, coax her along, let her know she won't be abandoned. No new place, unfamiliar person, or strange situation need overwhelm her. It's quite amazing the strength that comes to us when we nurture ourselves, when we acknowledge the scared child within and hold her, making her secure. We face nothing alone. Together, we can face anything. I will take care of my child today and won't abandon her to face, alone, any of the experiences the day may bring. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed. p. 102 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I can honestly say that nothing worked for me until I joined Alcoholics Anonymous. Eventually I ended up in a treatment center, and after a twenty-eight-day program, I began attending A.A. meetings on a regular basis. The treatment center introduced me to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I left there knowing that the only hope for me was the twelve Steps. p. 498 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." Being the founder, he is at first the boss. Who else could be? Very soon, though, his assumed authority to run everything begins to be shared with the first alcoholics he has helped. At this moment, the benign dictator becomes the chairman of a committee composed of his friends. These are the growing group's hierarchy of service - self-appointed, of course, because there is no other way. In a matter of months, A.A. booms in Middletown. p. 133 ************************************************** ********* Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace. --Judith Martin "One never knows what each day is going to bring. The important thing is to be open and ready for it." --Henry Moore "You cannot plan the future by the past." --Edmund Burke Slow down to relish the wonder of God's creation. --Glen Childress God makes possible what we cannot accomplish alone. --Gary Shank Faith in God changes our manner of living. --Chester L Schneider God's reassuring, caring love is with us moment by moment. --Walter N. Maris ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation OPPORTUNITY "Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity; they seem more afraid of life than death." -- James Byrnes Today I am aware of the opportunities that I did not recognize when I was drinking. Drinking stopped me from seeing the life that was before me. I drank myself away from the daily miracle. I missed the sunsets, the fun of relationships, the joy of the theater and the satisfaction of being "aware". In the business world I did not see the opportunity for profit and expansion; I did not create or have faith in my ideas, and I was not able to understand or absorb the new information to be successful in my life. Alcoholism kept me on the outside of my life. Today I am alive in my life, creating, expanding and enjoying my leisure. With sobriety I have the opportunity to experience God in the many aspects of life. Teach me to find You in the risks of life. ************************************************** ********* "Then they were glad because they had quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven." Psalm 107:30 We are to grow up in all aspects into Him. Ephesians 4:15 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you can't see more blessings than you can count, you aren't looking hard enough. Thank you, Lord, for all of my blessings and especially those that I don't recognize or take for granted. Be joyful in whatever you do today because you have been blessed, are being blessed and have many more blessings waiting for you. Lord, I am so grateful for Your love. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today From Isolation To Connection " Our disease isolated us... Hostile, resentful, self-centered, and self-seeking, we cut ourselves off from the outside world." Basic Text p. 3-4 Addiction is an isolating disease, closing us off from society, family, and self. We hid. We lied. We scorned the lives we saw others living, surely beyond our grasp. Worst of all, we told ourselves there was nothing wrong with us, even though we knew we were desperately ill. Our connection with the world, and with reality itself, was severed. Our lives lost meaning, and we withdrew further and further from reality. The NA program is designed especially for people like us. It helps reconnect us to the life we were meant to live, drawing us out of our isolation. We stop lying to ourselves about our condition; we admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives. We develop faith that our lives can improve, that recovery is possible, and that happiness is not permanently beyond our grasp. We get honest; we stop hiding; we "show up and tell the truth&quto; no matter what. And as we do, we establish the ties that connect our individual lives to the larger life around us. We addicts need not live lives of isolation. The Twelve Steps can restore our connection to life and living-if we work them. Just for today: I am a part of the life around me. I will practice my program to strengthen my connection to my world. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Only with winter patience can we bring The deep desired, long-awaited spring. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Family life requires patience. We probably realized that a long time ago. The Greek origin of the word patience is pathos, which means "suffering." In our lives together, we often suffer. Life is full of bumps and scrapes, both physical and emotional. In our search for greater family unity and harmony we need to realize that we will not be able to escape all suffering. This is why we need patience. It is a form of love. When we suffer the bumps and scrapes and still have faith something good will come of it, we are living out our love. From this winter- patience we will surely find a reward. How have I practiced my patience already today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. You have got to know what it is you want, or someone is going to sell you a bill of goods somewhere along the line that can do irreparable damage to your self esteem, your sense of worth, and your stewardship of the talents that God gave you. --Richard Nelson Bolles In recovery, getting to know ourselves sometimes means developing a new form of toughness. As we deepen our relationships with ourselves, we have a clearer sense of what we care about, what is truly important, and what is not. Certainly we have learned there is evil in the world. Harm does come to good people and the good side does not always win. So we must be men who know ourselves and are not pushovers when our basic values and needs are challenged. We leave room for being wrong, and we continue to grow and learn. But we stand up for what we believe as we see it today. We must not join the forces that would put us down or destroy us. Those negative forces are within us more often than they are outside. Wherever they come from, knowing clearly what we want and care about is our strongest defense. I will seek the wisdom to know my values and the strength to defend my beliefs. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. --Judy Collins The child within each of us is fragile, but very much alive, and she interprets our experiences before we are even conscious of them. It is our child who may fear new places, unfamiliar people, strange situations. Our child needs nurturing, the kind she may not have received in the past. We can take her hand, coax her along, let her know she won't be abandoned. No new place, unfamiliar person, or strange situation need overwhelm her. It's quite amazing the strength that comes to us when we nurture ourselves, when we acknowledge the scared child within and hold her, making her secure. We face nothing alone. Together, we can face anything. I will take care of my child today and won't abandon her to face, alone, any of the experiences the day may bring. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Clearing the Slate One of the greatest gifts we can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is our greatest barrier to that gift. Most of us have had relationships that have ended. When we examine these relationships, we need to clear the emotional slate. Are we holding on to anger or resentments? Are we still feeling victimized? Are we living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationships - Women can't be trusted.... Bosses use people.... There is no such thing as a good relationship.... Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty, we can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block us today from giving and getting the love we desire. We can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when we reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from our past. Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved. Today I will accept all of me just as I am. I will put aside all judgments and I will rejoice at the miracle of my uniqueness. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Stay in the present Moment Stay in the present moment. That’s where you find life’s magic. How overwhelmed we feel when we anitcipate the future, all that needs doing, all the tasks, the work, the potential problems, the responsibilities. How tired we become when we dwell on what we’ve done already, the energy we’ve expended, and the imperfect results. Yes, sometimes to stay in the present we need to visit the past, to clear out an old feeling, to heal an old, limiting belief. But that visit can be brief. And sometimes we need to think about the future– to make commitments, to plan, to envision where we want to go. But to linger there can cause unrest. It can spoil the moment we’re in now. Stay in the present moment, and the past and the future will fall naturally and easily into place. Stay in the present moment, and the magic will return. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn to let Someone said, “Let go and let God,” and this is a wonderful recipe for overcoming fear or getting out of a tight place. In any case, the rule for creation is always to let. –Emmet Fox Darren, a friend of mine, keeps Light Show in his computer. It’s a program of his own making. In this file, he records all incidences of Divine Guidance, Divine Intervention, answered prayers, and serendipitous events in his life. Whenever he begins to doubt the presence of a Benevolent Force, whenever he stops trusting life, whenever he feels abandoned or wonders exactly how wise it is to trust God, he turns to his own light show to remind himself how powerful and wise it really is to let go. People can tell others how miraculous it is to let go, how beneficial it is to practice a hands-off policy when it comes to manipulating or controlling the affairs of others, how stunning it is to let go of goals and let nature take its course. I could tell you how beneficial letting go is in creating healthy relationships. But that’s my light show. Why not create your own? Don’t try, don’t force, don’t make it happen. Let. Let it happen. Let go and let God. God, show me how letting go can benefit my life. Activity: Start a file in your computer or dedicate part of your journal to a light show. Document how you try to controll a problem, or a person, or the outcome of a particular situation. Enter that incident into your light show. Then, practice letting go. Make notes about what helped you, any tools you used such as meditation or prayer. When the problem gets solved, or the goal gets accomplished, or you simply get the peace and grace to live effortlessly with an unsolved problem, enter that into your logbook. Whenever you need reassurance, refer to your lightshow. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Among the many gifts that we are offered in The Program is the gift of freedom. Paradoxically, however, the gift of freedom is not without a price-tag; freedom can only be achieved by paying the price called acceptance. Similarly, if we can surrender to God’s guidance, it will cost us our self-will, that “commodity” so precious to those of us who have always thought we could and should run the show. Is my freedom today worth the price-tag of acceptance? Today I Pray May God teach me acceptance — the ability to accept the things I cannot change. god also grant me courage to change those things I can. god help me to accept the illness of my addiction and give me the courage to change my addictive behavior. Today I Will Remember Accept the addiction. Change the behavior. ***************************************** One More Day The type of hugging I recommend is the bear hug. Use both arms, face your partner and perform a full embrace. – David Bresler We all need physical contact. And this contact does more than put us in touch with other people; it reminds us of our human need to love as well as to be loved. Some of us may have a sense of aloneness, regardless of how many or few people surround us. If we live alone, it can be most difficult to get our daily ration of hugging and touching. Perhaps we need to consider buying a pet. A bird, a cat, a dog will offer affection all the time. All they require is a good, loving home. Or perhaps we need to think about the contact we have with others. Our expressions of love bring us the unexpected bonus of physical well-being. I need to love and be loved. I will share my caring nature more freely with other living creatures. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ POSITIVE ATTITUDE ~ Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. Charles Swindoll I can't remember ever having a consistently good attitude. When I was younger, I usually wore a mask of a good attitude, so many people were attracted to the mask but not to the real me, and I knew it. It didn't help my attitude grow more positive. Coming into the Twelve Step program, my attitude was all negative. My theory was that if I expected the worst from everyone and everything, if by chance I got something better, I could be pleasantly surprised. This makes me laugh now. With that attitude, would ANYTHING ever be considered good enough to "pleasantly surprise" me? No, and it didn't. I ignored the many good things that happened--or I created a dark side to them. In a meeting, I once heard that positives attract positives, and negatives attract negatives. This has stuck with me for years. It might be a scientific thing, but for me it refers to attitude. When I make the choice to be in a bad mood, I struggle through the day. Nothing seems to go right, and if it does, I don't notice it or appreciate it. When I make the simple choice to be in a good mood despite whatever problems I'm facing, good things happen to me. People smile back, elevating my mood. I can find humor in things around me. The sun is shining even on a rainy day. It's all up to me. One Day at a Time . . . I will make the choice to be happy for just today. I will look for the good in myself, in others and in the situations around me. I will keep my attitude positive. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teachings - most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded. - Pg. 11 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Let us speculate on another subtle 'trick' of our disease: It lies to us! 'It wasn't so bad; I'm not really out of control; everyone drinks a little; these people are stupid.' These are lies. I pray that the subtle lies of addiction go in one ear and out the other! Blessings I can lose my blessings. If I don't appreciate them, they can disappear. If I feel overly entitled, if I take what is mine for granted, if I behave as if it is simply owed me and I don't need to notice or appreciate them, I am literally telling them to shrink. There is a wisdom, even a divine sort of self-centerdness to gratitude, because what I focus on with appreciation has a way of expanding in my life. If I erase my blessings, I don't feed them with the grace of gratitude. If I give thanks for them, I show the creative force that brings forth all good things, that I am awake enough to appreciate what has been so generously given. I know enough to say thank you - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You are an exceptional human being. There has never been anyone with your personality, ability, and unique way of seeing things. Take the world by storm because you have what it takes! I used to feel impending doom. Now I feel impending good. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Talking about the spiritual part of the program is like talking about the wet part of the ocean. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will accept all of me just as I am. I will put aside all judgments and I will rejoice at the miracle of my uniqueness. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The highest rank in AA: Sober. - Ken. |
January 25
Daily Reflections WHAT WE NEED - EACH OTHER . . . . A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker, "You are an A.A. member if you say so . . . nobody can keep you out." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139 For years, whenever I reflected on Tradition Three ("The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking"), I thought it valuable only to newcomers. It was their guarantee that no one could bar them from A.A. Today I feel enduring gratitude for the spiritual development the Tradition has brought me. I don't seek out people obviously different from myself. Tradition Three, concentrating on the one way I am similar to others, brought me to know and help every kind of alcoholic, just as they have helped me. Charlotte, the atheist, showed me higher standards of ethics and honor; Clay, of another race, taught me patience; Winslow, who is gay, led me by example into true compassion; Young Megan says that seeing me at meetings, sober thirty years, keeps her coming back. Tradition Three insured that we would get what we need - each other. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We used to depend on drinking for a lot of things. We depended on drinking to help us enjoy things. It gave us a "kick." It broke down our shyness and helped us to have a "good time." We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low physically. If we had a toothache or just a hangover, we felt better after a few drinks. We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low mentally. If we had a tough day at the office or if we'd had a fight with our wives, or if things just seemed against us, we felt better under the influence of alcohol. For us alcoholics, it got so that we depended on drinking for almost everything. Have I gotten over that dependence on drinking? Meditation For The Day I believe that complete surrender of my life to God is the foundation of serenity. God has prepared for us many mansions. I do not look upon that promise as referring only to the after-life. I do not look upon this life as something to be struggled through, in order to get the rewards of the next life. I believe that the Kingdom of God is within us and we can enjoy "eternal life" here and now. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may try to do God's will. I pray that such understanding, insight and vision shall be mine, and shall make my life eternal, here and now. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It We Cannot Stand Still, p. 25 In the first days of A.A., I wasn't much bothered about the areas of life in which I was standing still. There was always the alibi: "After all," I said to myself, "I'm far too busy with much more important matters." That was my near perfect prescription for comfort and complacency. << << << >> >> >> How many of us would presume to declare, "Well, Im sober and I'm happy. What more can I want, or do? I'm fine the way I am." We know that the price of such self-satisfaction is an inevitable backslide, punctuated at some point by a very rude awakening. We have to grow or else deteriorate. For us, the status quo can only be today, never for tomorrow. Change we must; we cannot stand still. 1. Grapevine, June 1961 2. Grapevine, February 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Finding a Higher Good____Handling Trouble. There are times when things just don't work out, despite our best efforts. Even in sobriety, we can have business or marriage failures, accidents, sicknesses, or trouble in holding a job. Sobriety is no guarantee that things will always work out according to our expectancies. But no disappointment or failure has to throw us or cause permanent distress. It is some comfort to remember that the meeting of the first two AA members came out of a business failure, not a success. On many occasions, a disappointment or a setback can actually give a person the insight and understanding needed for a new, more successful effort. We do not, of course, want to rationalize failure. We should also accept responsibility when failure has been the result of negligence or wrong action on our part. Nevertheless, as we continue to seek and to follow God's guidance, w will find the course of our lives that fits our needs and capabilities. There is a higher good in everything. Even our drinking was indirectly beneficial in pushing us toward AA and the program's healing principles. I will not waste time today brooding over mistakes or losses. I'll know that God is in charge of my life and can turn liabilities into assets and defeats into victories. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The best way to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.----Swedish proverb During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come to recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted. But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The time of discipline began. Each of us the pupil of whichever one of us could best teach what each of us needed to learn. --Maria Isabel Barreno "When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears." Life's lessons often come unexpectedly. They come, nevertheless, and they come according to a time frame that is Divine. As we grow emotionally and spiritually, we are readied for further lessons for which teachers will appear. Perhaps the teacher will be a loving relationship, a difficult loss, or a truant child. The time of learning is seldom free from pain and questioning. But from these experiences and what they can teach us, we are ready to learn. As we are ready, they come. We all enjoy the easy times when the sailing is smooth, when all is well, when we are feeling no pain. And these periods serve a purpose. They shore us up for the lessons which carry us to a stronger recovery, to a stronger sense of ourselves. To understand that all is well, throughout the learning process, is the basic lesson we need to learn. All is well. The teacher is the guide up the next rung of the ladder. Let me be grateful for my lessons today and know that all is well. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Many of us keep liquor in our homes. We often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover. Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. We never argue this question. We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves. pp. 102-103 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I was told that A.A. is a spiritual program and that I had better have a Higher Power. I knew nothing of God or Higher Powers, and I began trying to find one. At first I thought that since I was a Native, maybe I should practice the Native traditional ways. Then I thought maybe I should go to the church on the reservation. Then I believed that if I went to enough A.A. meetings and just sat there, I would have a vision and achieve recovery. One day a member asked me if I believed that there actually was a Higher Power. I did believe there was a God of some sort or another. He told me that was enough. He said with that belief and attending meetings, I would find a Higher Power of my own understanding. Today I am thankful for that advice. p. 498 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." Growing pains now beset the group. Panhandlers panhandle. Lonely hearts pine. Problems descend like an avalanche. Still more important, murmurs are heard in the body politic, which swell into a loud cry: "Do these oldtimers think they can run this group forever? Let's have an election!" The founder and his friends are hurt and depressed. They rush from crisis to crisis and from member to member, pleading; but it's no use, the revolution is on. The group conscience is about to take over. pp. 133-134 ************************************************** ********* "You cannot speak that which you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel. You cannot translate that which you do not have. And you cannot give that which you do not possess. To give it and to share it, and for it to be effective, you first need to have it. Good communication starts with good preparation." --Jim Rohn Each day is a gift from God to be used in serving others. --Ruth C. Borges "Confidence never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions." --Unknown "Stress comes from within; it is your reaction to circumstances, not the circumstances themselves." --Brian Tracy "Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting." --Anonymous "Hope is a gift we give ourselves, and it remains when all else is gone." --Criswell Freeman "You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with." --Wayne Dyer "The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today." --Les Brown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation HONESTY "Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom." -- Thomas Jefferson It is impossible to have a spiritual program without being honest. It is impossible to be recovering from addiction without being honest. An aspect of sobriety is honesty. Today I can see that I was never really known when I was "using" because I was so dishonest. I stopped other people from getting to know me. I stopped me from getting to know me. Part of my pain involved my dishonesty; part of my loneliness and feelings of isolation was caused by my dishonesty; the unmanageability that nearly destroyed my life grew in my dishonesty. Today I need to be honest, rigorously honest --- even in the small things. I can no longer exist to please others --- I need to please myself. I need to love myself by being honest. O God of wisdom, let me find truth in the honesty of my own life. ************************************************** ********* "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you. Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 "Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice." Psalm 105:3 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High,because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:35-38 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Avoid saying "No one knows." because God knows and understands more perfectly than we ourselves do. Calm my fears, Lord, and lift the burdens that I cannot carry alone. To have a great day isn't always doing what you like, but trying to like what you must do. Lord, today I will spruce up my attitude and have a great day no matter what my circumstances. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today An Added Gift " We see it happening among us every day This miraculous turnabout is evidence of a spiritual awakening." Basic Text p. 49 We watch them walk in to their first meeting defeated, their spirits broken. Their suffering is obvious, and their desire for help even more apparent. They collect a welcome chip and go back to their seats, shaken by the effort. We see them again, and they seem a little more comfortable. They've found a sponsor and are attending meetings every night. They still won't meet our glance, but they nod their heads in recognition as we share. We notice a spark of hope in their eyes, and they smile uncertainly when we encourage them to keep coming back. A few months later, they are standing straight. They've learned how to make eye contact. They're working the steps with their sponsor and are healing as a result. We listen to them sharing at meetings. We stack chairs with them afterward. A few years later, they are speaking at a convention workshop, They've got a wonderful, humorous personality. They smile when they see us, they hug us, and they tell us they could never have done it without us. And they understand when we say, "nor could we, without you." Just for today: I will find joy in witnessing the recovery of another. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear. --Lao-tzu A group of friends went swimming one day and one of them lost a ring in the bottom of the lake. Everyone started diving from different directions to find it until there was so much mud and sand stirred up that no one could see anything. Finally, they decided to clear the water. They waited silently on the edge of the shore for the mud from all their activity to settle. When it finally cleared, one person dove in slowly and picked up the ring. When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions. Our friends will tell us one thing and our families another, until we feel pretty well mixed up. If we look away from our problem and let patience and time do their work, the mud inside us will settle and clear. Our answer will become visible, like the glimmer of silver in the water. Am I overlooking the simple solution? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A richer, more fulfilling, and more peaceful masculine spirituality will depend in no small measure upon new ways of learning to be sexual. --James B. Nelson For most men, sexuality is one of the central issues in recovery. Our addictive and codependent lives have been fed by an overemphasis on genital sexuality, satisfaction, and performance. Sex is so limited by this emphasis that many men have become more unhappy while becoming sexual athletes. We need to learn how to deepen our sexual experiences. We can allow ourselves the vulnerability of learning from our partners. We need to know how they relate to us, and how we can have both a spiritual and a physical connection. We can allow ourselves to be in loving relationships and enjoy the pleasure of touch. Consummation may not always be in orgasm, but in intimacy. Today, I may experience my sexuality in many ways. My spiritual growth cannot be separated from how I learn to be sexual. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The time of discipline began. Each of us the pupil of whichever one of us could best teach what each of us needed to learn. --Maria Isabel Barreno "When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears." Life's lessons often come unexpectedly. They come, nevertheless, and they come according to a time frame that is Divine. As we grow emotionally and spiritually, we are readied for further lessons for which teachers will appear. Perhaps the teacher will be a loving relationship, a difficult loss, or a truant child. The time of learning is seldom free from pain and questioning. But from these experiences and what they can teach us, we are ready to learn. As we are ready, they come. We all enjoy the easy times when the sailing is smooth, when all is well, when we are feeling no pain. And these periods serve a purpose. They shore us up for the lessons which carry us to a stronger recovery, to a stronger sense of ourselves. To understand that all is well, throughout the learning process, is the basic lesson we need to learn. All is well. The teacher is the guide up the next rung of the ladder. Let me be grateful for my lessons today and know that all is well. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Step One We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. --Step One of Al-Alon There are many different versions of the First Step for recovering codependents. Some of us admit powerlessness over alcohol or another's alcoholism. Some of us admit powerlessness over people; some over the impact of growing up in an alcoholic family. One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution. Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery. We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hopes - for better lives and relationships. Today, I will be grateful for the many people across the world who call themselves "recovering codependents." Help me know that each time one of us takes a step forward, we pull the entire group forward. As I go about my day I trust all my decisions to my positive inner guide. Nothing from the past will block me or hold me back. Today is mine to use for growth and recovery. I love myself today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Cherish Your Favorite Spaces Our world abounds with quiet, free sources of revitalization. “I love going into fabric stores,” one woman told me recently. “I love touching, handling, fondling all the colorful bolts of material. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel happy. “My favorite activity is spending an afternoon at the library,” one man told me. “If I could only do one thing in life, go one place, that’s what I’d choose. I lose myself in the pages of the books. They take me to faraway places, places I’ve never seen. And when I leave the library, I feel like I’ve been touched and changed.” What are the places you like to visit in your town or city? Do you enjoy browsing through a bookstore? Is there a favorite shopping center in your neighborhood where the shopkeepers smile a little more and the window displays please your heart? Do you have a favorite restaurant where drinking a cup of tea changes your mood? Cherish old favorite spaces, and open yourself to discovering new places. Healing doesn’t have to be extravagant, expensive, or traditional. Sometimes it just means going to the places that make us feel good. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go What do you want? Imagine walking up to the counter at the local fast-food restaurant and asking if they had your order ready. “What order?” the counterperson would ask. “Did you phone one in?” “No, but I thought you might have something for me behind the counter anyway.” It’s absurd, you might say. How could I expect them to have food ready for me when I hadn’t yet placed my order. Exactly. And how can you expect the magic of the universe to start bringing you the things and experiences that you want for your life if you haven’t named them yet? Have you placed an order yet? Maybe you thought about it at the beginning of the year, but put it off until you had more time to think about it. And every day you wake up and stand at the counter of life asking, “What do you have for me?” If you haven’t asked for anything, you may have to settle for whatever life hands your way. Why not take the time to ask? You don’t have to be too specific, just ask for what you want. Want adventure? Put it on the list. Want love? Write it down. There is no guarantee that you’ll get everything you request. Life may have other plans for you. But you’ll never know whether you can get what you want unless you know what that is, and ask for it first. God, help me have the courage to bring the desires of my heart to my conscious mind, and to you. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Even with a growing understanding of The Program and its Twelve Steps, we sometimes might find it difficult to believe that our new way of life leads to personal freedom. Suppose, for example, I feel imprisoned in an uncomfortable job or troublesome personal relationship. What am I doing about it? In the past, my reflex reaction was to try to manipulate the things and people around me into being more acceptable to me. Today, I realize that happiness can’t be won that way. Am I learning that freedom from despair and frustration can come only from changing, in myself, the attitudes that are perpetuating the conditions that cause me grief? Today I Pray May I be given clear eyes to see — and then to stop myself — when I am manipulating the lives of those around me, my daily associates, friends, family. May I always be aware that change must begin within myself. Today I Will Remember Change from the inside out. ***************************************** One More Day Self-Understanding rather than Self-Condemnation is the way to inner peace adn mature conscience. – Joshua Loth Liebman We can be committees of one, single-handedly striving to show others, by example, that having a chronic medical problem need not keep us out of the mainstream of life. Our health difficulties may heighten our awareness of the value of life, of other people, and of ourselves. We can hold our heads up high and go out in public. In this way, we refuse to let our dimished health subdue us. By being comfortable with ourselves, smiling at passers-by, and not complaining, we can create an aura of strength and self-assurance. Doing this can challenge and inspire others, and – more importantly — it can do the same for us. It’s difficult sometimes to leave the security of my home. The more I understand my fears, the easier it is to go out among other people. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ MOVING ON ~ Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. Eileen Caddy As a child, teen, and young adult, I was sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically abused. I was neglected as well. By the time I was a young woman, the "abuse" was history, and I was left dealing with a very sick family. But I could not let go of my abused past! The abuse became the topic of every conversation I had. Anything I saw on TV or read in a book or newspaper brought to mind the past. I awoke in the middle of the night to relive my childhood nightmares for a few hours before crying myself back to sleep. I spent entire days staring at the television, eating to numb myself from my pain and anger. Eventually, I wanted more from my life. I became disgusted with myself and what my life had become. I was led to a Twelve Step group. There I learned how to let go of the past, to work through it, to make amends for my part in things, and to forgive those who abused me. Today, when I discuss the abuse I suffered, which is seldom, I can do so without the anger and pain bubbling up. I can help others with my story, and then I can let it go. It is my history, but it's no longer ruling my present. Like Thomas Raddall said, "Don't brood on what's past, but never forget it either." One Day at a Time . . . I will make amends and forgive others, not for them, but for me. I pray to live in today, to make it the best day I can. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. - Pg.64 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Live and Let Live' sounds like a simple phrase, but in fact it is imperative for us to practice. When we try to control the actions of others, it only leads to anger, resentment, fury, and finally to a slip. Higher Power, increase my tolerance so I can 'Live and Let Live' so that I 'Don't Let Live and Die! Inner Peace There is peace within me that I can draw on each and every day. I will remind myself to take a few moments today, to center myself. I will breathe. I will sit. And when I go about my day I will carry that lovely feeling of inner peace around with me. There is nothing in my day that is more important than my serenity. Today, I will pay attention to the myriad of ways in which I am thrown off balance. When I feel myself losing my serenity, I'll take a moment to center myself, to breathe, to connect with that part of me that is eternal and unchanging. I'll remind myself that when I can calm my body, mind and spirit, I interact differently with the people, places and things of my day. I am here. My spirit is here. My serenity is at my fingertips. I am in charge of my deeper experience of living. I connect with my divine self and the diving energy that is ever present. I give myself the gift of inner peace. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Let go or be dragged. I pray for the willingness to be willing to be willing to let go absolutely. (P 97, Meeting Wisdom) "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Page 449. (From the Big Book, 4th edition-now Page 417 from the 5th edition) Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I go about my day I trust all my decisions to my positive inner guide. Nothing from the past will block me or hold me back. Today is mine to use for growth and recovery. I love myself today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I can't get too cocky around AA. I can be a peacock one day and a feather duster the next. - Unknown origin. |
January 26
Daily Reflections RIGOROUS HONESTY Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A.'s message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect - unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24 I am an alcoholic. If I drink I will die. My, what power, energy, and emotion this simple statement generates in me! But it's really all I need to know for today. Am I willing to stay alive today? Am I willing to stay sober today? Am I willing to ask for help and am I willing to be a help to another suffering alcoholic today? Have I discovered the fatal nature of my situation? What must I do, today, to stay sober? ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day As we became alcoholics, the bad effects of drinking came more and more to outweigh the good effects. But the strange part of it is that, no matter what drinking did to us, loss of our health, our jobs, our money and our homes, we still stuck to it and depended on it. Our dependence on drinking became an obsession. In A.A., we find a new outlook on life. We learn how to change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. And we find out that we can no longer depend on drinking for anything. We depend on a Higher Power instead. Have I entirely given up that dependence on drinking? Meditation For The Day I will try to keep my life calm and unruffled. This is my great task, to find peace and acquire serenity. I must not harbor disturbing thoughts. No matter what fears, worries and resentments I may have, I must try to think of constructive things, until calmness comes. Only when I am calm can I act as a channel for God's spirit. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may build up instead of tearing down. I pray that I may be constructive and not destructive. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It True Independence of the Spirit, p. 26 The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore, dependence as A.A. practices it is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit. At the level of everyday living, it is startling to discover how dependent we really are, and how unconscious of that dependence. Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and light to its interior. By accepting with delight our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves personally more independent, more comfortable and secure. Power flows just where it is needed. Silently and surely, electricity, that strange energy so few people understand, meets our simplest daily needs. Though we readily accept this principle of healthy dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principle when asked to apply it as a means of growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly, we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is ours. 12 & 12, p. 36 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Pray For Potatoes___Faith and Works One of the sayings heard at AA meetings is "Pray for potatoes but grab a hoe." This says that both prayer and action are needed to get favorable results in our lives. But recovering alcoholics do not really need to be told to "grab a hoe." One of our problems is that we often worked too hard for certain ends, only to lose out in the long run. What we really need to know is that our prayers work with our actions to bring about good results. The saying should be "Pray for potatoes and grab a hoe." Faith and actions are both needed. In the strong belief that God is working through us, we can do our own work with confidence and gratitude. Our own efforts are strengthened when we know that we are not alone. We may even receive inspiration and new understanding as we continue on this path. Changes in our lives will turn out to be positive and beneficial if we remind ourselves that God is in charge of the process. Under the right conditions, potatoes grow in a miraculous way. Other projects will also come to maturity in our lives under God's direction. I will be grateful for the opportunity to work today. Moreover, I will know that a Higher Power is living and working in my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The best way to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.----Swedish proverb During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come to recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted. But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, And show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better. You're gonna find, yes, you will, That you're beautiful as you feel. --Carole King "Act as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows. Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally; focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us. The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about. My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head-on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. p. 103 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. After three months in A.A., I returned home one evening after a meeting to hear the music and laughter of a party next door. Some of my drinking buddies were at that party, and I just knew I was going to end up there. I did not want to drink, yet the party was like a magnet. I was full of fear as I ran across the street to a pay telephone. I called my sponsor, but there was no answer. Panic set in as I ran home. In the house I went into my bedroom and sat on the side of the bed. I looked up and said these words: "Well, Buddy, I guess there's just you and me." Believe it or not, it worked; those simple words worked. Something happened: A little peace came over me, anxiety left, and then I lay down and fell asleep. I slept well that night, the first good sleep in a long time. That feeble request to God worked. I was honest and really wanted God's help. From that day on, I knew that I had found a Higher Power and that He would help me. pp. 498-499 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." Now comes the election. If the founder and his friends have served well, they may - to their surprise - be reinstated for a time. If, however, they have heavily resisted the rising tide of democracy, they may be summarily beached. In either case, the group now has a so-called rotating committee, very sharply limited in its authority. In no sense whatever can its members govern or direct the group. They are servants. Theirs is the sometimes thankless privilege of doing the group's chores. Headed by the chairman, they look after public relations and arrange meetings. Their treasurer, strictly accountable, takes money from the hat that is passed, banks it, pays the rent and other bills, and makes a regular report at business meetings. The secretary sees that literature is on the table, looks after the phone-answering service, answers the mail, and sends out notices of meetings. Such are the simple services that enable the group to function. the committee gives no spiritual advice, judges no one's conduct, issues no orders. Every one of them may be promptly eliminated at the next election if they try this. And so they make the belated discovery that they are really servants, not senators. These are universal experiences. Thus throughout A.A. does the group conscience decree the terms upon which its leaders shall serve. p. 134 ************************************************** ********* A.A. is not something you join, it's a way of life. He who has fed a stranger may have fed an angel. --The Talmud There's no elevator; you have to take the Steps. Look for God's image in the people you meet. --Robert E. Lea "It takes no more time to see the good side of life than it takes to see the bad." --Jimmy Buffet "It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities." --Josiah Stamp "One can easily understand a child's fear of the dark, but what is the greatest tragedy in life is the grown man who is afraid of the light." --Plato ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FAITH "The ablest men in all walks of modern life are men of faith." -- Bruce Barton It is important for those of us who have been crushed by the disease of addiction to have faith that life will get better. We stopped "using" or being co-dependent because the behavior was destroying us. Our lives were disintegrating in negative behavior and attitudes. Now we have chosen a different way to live. Today I seek to find God in my freedom of choice, my ability to change. I have faith in the daily belief that my life will get better so long as I avoid those things that hurt me. My faith enables me to change. O God, my faith in me reflects my belief in You. ************************************************** ********* "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." Psalm 1:1-3 "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1 Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We can show God that we truly love Him by the way we speak and live. May I be inspiring, Lord, and may everyone that I meet find You. Avoid negative thinking because this leads to unnecessary worry. Lord, I rely on You to guide and sustain me and I know that with You I can move easily around life's obstacles. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Self-Centeredness " The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness." Basic Text p. 20 What is self-centeredness? It is our belief that the world revolves around us. Our wishes, our demands are the only ones worth consideration. Our self-centered minds believe they are capable of getting everything they want if only they would be left to their own devices. SeIf-centeredness assumes total self-sufficiency. We say that self-centeredness is the spiritual part of our disease because the self-centered mind cannot conceive of anything greater or more important than itself. But there is a spiritual solution to our spiritual malady: the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. The steps lead us away from self-centeredness and toward Godcenteredness. We strip away our delusion of self-sufficiency by admitting our own powerlessness and seeking the aid of a Power greater than ourselves. We acknowledge the bankruptcy of our self-righteousness by admitting we've been wrong, making amends, and seeking knowledge of what's right from the God our understanding. And we deflate our overwhelming sense of self-importance by seeking to serve others, not only ourselves. The self-centeredness afflicting our spirit can be treated with a spiritual solution: the Twelve Steps. Just for today: My guidance and my strength comes from a Higher Power, not from my own self. I will practice the Twelve Steps to become more God-centered and less self-centered. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Nothing is more difficult than competing with a myth. --Francoise Giroud Sometimes we think we need to try and be something we're not. Maybe we feel pressure from friends to behave or dress like someone else. All we need to do is remember when we were younger and dressed in our parents' clothes and shoes. We pretended to be grownups, and it was fun for a while. Then the huge shoes on our feet grew clumsy and uncomfortable and the mountain of rolled-up sleeves kept falling down and getting in the way. Soon we grew tired of the game and stopped pretending. Today when we start feeling the pressure to be someone else, let's remember how hard it is to play a role that doesn't fit us. What can I do today that is most like me? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Within every man there is the reflection of a woman, and within every woman there is the reflection of a man. Within every man and woman there is also the reflection of an old man and an old woman, a little boy and a little girl. --Hyemeyohsts Storm This Cheyenne teaching reminds us of our connections - inside ourselves and with other people. Reading this passage, we are seeing it partly with the eyes of that small child who first learned to read. And perhaps, looking in the mirror today, we can see the traces of the old men we are becoming. We have been close to our mothers or sisters or lovers and have found parts of ourselves in them. By gently welcoming the children we once were, the old men we will be, the part of us that has a woman's outlook, we become wiser, stronger, and more spiritual. We don't need to be frightened or disrespectful of the parts of ourselves that don't feel 100 percent virile. We can have virility and many other sides too. Such awareness creates peace with ourselves. I will notice the reflection of small children in old faces, old people in children's faces, and men and women in each other. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, And show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better. You're gonna find, yes, you will, That you're beautiful as you feel. --Carole King "Act as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows. Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally; focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us. The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about. My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head-on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Off The Hook We can learn not to get hooked into unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors in relationships - behaviors such as caretaking, controlling, discounting ourselves, and believing lies. We can learn to watch for and identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to be hooked. Often, people do things consciously or without thinking that pulls us into a series of our self-defeating behaviors we call codependency. More often than not, these hooks can be almost deliberate, and the results predictable. Someone may stand before us and hint or sigh about a problem, knowing or hoping that hint or sigh will hook us into taking care of him or her. That is manipulation. When people stand around us and hint and sigh about something, then coyly say, "Oh, never mind, that's not for you to worry about," that's a game. We need to recognize it. We're about to get sucked in, if we allow that to happen. We can learn to insist that people ask us directly for what they want and need. What are the words, the signs, the looks, the hints, and the cues that hook us into a predictable and often self-defeating behavior? What makes you feel sympathy? Guilt? Responsible for another? Our strong point is that we care so much. Our weak point is that we often underestimate the people with whom we're dealing. They know what they're doing. It is time we give up our naive assumption that people don't follow agendas of their own in their best interest, and not necessarily in ours. We also want to check ourselves out. Do we give out hooks, looks, hints, hoping to hook another? We need to insist that we behave in a direct and honest manner with others, instead of expecting them to rescue us. If someone wants something from us, insist that the person ask us directly for it. Require the same from us. If someone baits the hook, we don't have to bite it. Today, I will be aware of the hooks that snag me into the caretaking acts that leave me feeling victimized. I will ignore the hints, looks, and words that hook me, and wait for the directness and honesty others, and I deserve. Nothing can stop me from growing today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart See Life Through the Eyes of Your Soul Once many, many years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. Only I wasn’t in bed sleeping. I was on the ceiling looking down at my body lying on the bed. I studied myself, a little surprised at how unusual I looked from the outside. The next thing I knew, I was back in bed. My soul reconnected with my body. That experience was the beginning of a journey that led me to understand I was more than a body. I had a soul. I was about to embark on a path that would consciously connect me to that soul– experiences on the path to freeing my soul. Throughout my life, I have had many conscious desires and expectations about my life. I wanted this, I wanted that. I wanted my life to be arranged just so. What I’ve understood over time is that the journey I’m taking is not one based on arranging my life in a particular way, then keeping it just so. The journey I’ve been on and what I’ve been seeking has been the journey of my soul. Much in life can cause us distress and discomfort when we look with our conscious mind. But if we look beyond what we can see on the surface, we’ll begin to see with the eyes of the soul. The lessons run deep. Often they take time to learn. We learn about power. We learn about love. Courage. Faith. Saying good-bye. Embracing deep love for ourselves. Learn to see life with the eyes of your soul. Experience all the emotions that are there. Discover your truths. Seek conscious peace as much as you can, and seek peace in your soul as well. Let your soul lead you through meadows and take you down deep into the valleys, for all your experiences are just that– experiences– on this mysterious journey of the soul. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Be a thermostat There’s a thermometer on my back porch. It tells me when it’s hot enough to go for a swim. Inside the house, there’s a thermostat. The thermostat not only tells us how hot or cold it is, but will actually do something about it as well. If the temperature gets too warm, the thermostat tells the air conditioner to cool off the house. If it gets too cool, the thermostat tells the heater to warm things up a bit. Which are you? Are you a thermometer– only reflecting the attitudes of those around you? Or are you a thermostat– determining your own course of action and following through with it? Thermometer people often know where they are; they just don’t do anything about it. I’m stuck in this relationship. I’m really angry, resentful, and upset. Thermostat people are aware of where they are,too. They just choose to do something about it, as well. I’m in this relationship, and I will do everything that I can to improve it. But if necessary, I will walk away from it. Being a thermostat means we take appropriate action to take care of ourselves. God, help me learn to respond to whatever environment I’m in by taking appropriate actions to take care of myself. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close are the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy. The key word is this realization is personal. For I can free myself from many involvements that seem necessary. Through The Program, I am learning to develop my own personality. Am I reinforcing my personal freedom by leaving others free to control their actions and destinies? today I Pray May I find personal freedom, by reevaluating associations, establishing new priorities, gaining respect for my own person hood. May I give others equal room to find their own kinds of personal freedoms. Today I Will Remember Take the liberty; it’s yours. ***************************************** One More Day In human relationships, closeness and warmth only occur when we ask about one another . . . when we seek to know how we can help one another. Until we ask, we will never know. – Bernard S. Raskas Who are our close friends? We should cherish friendships and protect them as vigorously as we would a newborn infant. When a friend comes to us needing our help, we are forced into making a decision. One choice — abandonment — means we lose a friend. The other option means that the question, “What can I do to help you?” is no longer rhetorical, it is a commitment to helpfulness. We may even have to put ourselves at risk, especially emotionally, but we can bee a friend who stays around when a crisis occurs. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ HOPE ~ In the hour of adversity be not without hope, For crystal rain falls from black clouds. Persian poem When I was a child, I lived in a fantasy world and dreamed of all the wonderful things that would happen to me when I grew up. I would have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a fulfilling job and, of course, I would be thin. Unfortunately the fantasy never materialized, and even when I did lose weight my life wasn't the perfect life that I had envisioned. I would lose weight and then promptly regain it. Life in general seemed so empty and futile. No matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work. I hated myself and my life; it often seemed pointless to go on. When I walked into the doors of the first meeting I ever attended, there was something on the faces of the people I met there. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I saw something that I wanted. It wasn't that they were all thin, because many of them were not. So what was it that these people had that I didn't? What they had was the hope of recovery. If they were willing to reach out to a Higher Power of their understanding, and if they would work the program one day at a time, then this would guarantee them recovery. I didn't know what recovery meant then. Because all I wanted was to lose weight, and because I wanted what they had, I was prepared to do what they were doing. I realized then that it wasn't only about the weight, although that does play a part. These people were learning how to live their life sanely, and even when they struggled with life, as we do from time to time, there was always the hope that they could get through those difficult times by using the tools and reaching out to others in the fellowship. One Day at a Time . . . Even when I am going through difficult times and the future looks gloomy, I have hope that it will get better if I'm willing to work a simple program. ~ Sharon S. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. - Pg. 152 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Sometimes we are confused about what to do. But we tell people, 'Do the next right thing.' We do know what is right and what is wrong from the age of seven. Often our mind tries to muddy our thinking by making excuses or rationalizing. You really do know the right thing to do. Higher Power, of my understanding, please let me respond to the right and wrong of my Higher Self--for the basic knowledge that was once so clear. Shifting My Feeling States When I shift my own thinking and feeling states, I shift my body states as well, because emotions travel through me as body chemicals. In a way, I am what I think about all day. I can shift what I am feeling by consciously changing my thoughts and I can shift what I'm thinking, by consciously evening out my emotional states. I will place my attention on my heart and imagine myself in a calm and serene state. As my heart calms, so does my body. When I can consciously breathe in and out of my heart zone, and imagine that part of me entering a state of ease and serenity, I actually contribute to my emotional, psychological and physical health. I calm my heart - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Egoism isn't necessarily thinking a lot of yourself--just thinking of yourself a lot. I begin this day by thinking of another first. Who is distressed or frightened that I may offer words of comfort? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Alcoholism is an incurable disease; loneliness is not. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Nothing can stop me from growing today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'm hardest to love when I need love the most. - Anon. |
January 27
Daily Reflections FREEDOM FROM GUILT Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word "blame" from our speech and thought. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47 When I become willing to accept my own powerlessness, I begin to realize that blaming myself for all the trouble in my life can be an ego trip back into hopelessness. Asking for help and listening deeply to the messages inherent in the Steps and Traditions of the program make it possible to change those attitudes which delay my recovery. Before joining A.A., I had such a desire for approval from people in powerful positions that I was willing to sacrifice myself, and others, to gain a foothold in the world. I invariably came to grief. In the program I find true friends who love, understand, and care to help me learn the truth about myself. With the help of the Twelve Steps, I am able to build a better life, free of guilt and the need for self-justification. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day An alcoholic carries an awful load around with them. What a load lying puts on your shoulders! Drinking makes liars out of all of us alcoholics. In order to get all the liquor we want, we have to lie all the time. We have to lie about where we've been and what we've been doing. When you are lying you are only half alive, because of the fear of being found out. When you come into A.A., and get honest with yourself and with other people, that terrible load of lying falls off your shoulders. Have I got rid of that load of lying? Meditation For The Day I believe that in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. As fears and worries and resentments depart out of my life, the things of the spirit come in to take their places. Calm comes after a storm. As soon as I am rid of fears and hates and selfishness, God's love and peace and calm can come in. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may rid myself of all fears and resentments, so that peace and serenity may take their place. I pray that I may sweep my life clean of evil, so that good may come in. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Daily Reprieve, p. 27 We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. << << << >> >> >> We of A.A. obey spiritual principles, at first because we must, then because we ought to, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.'s disciplinarians; we need no others. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85 2. 12 & 12, p. 174 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Live and let live____Tolerance For countless reasons, people with drinking problems blunder into conflicts with others. It's not unusual to hear that a person has not spoken to a relative for y ears as a result of some foolish misunderstanding. Some of us, sad to say, cling to old grievances even after we come into AA. The key to peace in our lives is the slogan "Live and Let Live." If we reflect on this slogan a bit, we want to live freely, and we ought to let others choose their lifestyles without interference from us. After all, if there was anything we alcoholics resented, it was the busybody who tried to shape our lives for us. Nobody has the competence or understanding to tell us how we should live, nor should we try to control other people. We have a big job to do in overcoming our own problems. We have neither the time nor the wisdom to run other people's lives. "Live and Let Live," if followed by every person and nation, would bring universal peace. We can use the slogan wisely to end conflicts in our lives and to terminate new ones before they develop into serious problems. I'll remember today that nobody appointed me guardian of my neighbors' manners and morals. I have a full-time job keeping myself straight. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple They is no they, only us .--Bumper sticker For most of us, addiction was full of doubt. We stopped believing in ourselves. Our thoughts had turned to "stinking thinking." We didn't believe in much of anything. We didn't take risk. We always looked for the easier, softer way. In recovery, we start to believe again. We believe in the program. We believe in a Higher Power. We believe in people. And, over time, we believe in ourselves again. We become better at taking risk. We are able to stay sober because we believe, because we take risk. As we stay sober, we can face almost anything---with the help of others. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I have learned to believe in You. Help me believe in myself. I have something to give to this world. Help me give it freely. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Surviving meant being born over and over. --Erica Jong We have decided to live. And each day we make the decision anew. Each time we call a friend, work a Step, or go to a meeting, we are renewing our contract with life. We are being reborn. Before coming to this program we died, emotionally and spiritually, many times. Some of us nearly died physically. But here we are, starting a new day, looking for guidance from one another. We are the survivors. And survival is there for the taking. We will have days when we struggle with our decision to live. We will want to throw in the towel. We will want to give in or give up. But we've learned from one another about choices. And the choice to survive, knowing we never have to do it alone, gets easier with time. I am one of the survivors. Today is my day for celebration. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it. After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to! p. 103 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. Over the next few months my life slowly began to change as I worked on Step One of our recovery program. I listened to speakers and began a Big Book study with an older member. In Mic-Mac folklore there are little people we call Bugalademujs. They live in the mountains, but they often sneak into our homes to play tricks on us, usually at night so we won't see them. When I noticed that Chapter 4 of the Big Book, "We Agnostics," had appeared to change, I told A.A. members that the Bugalademujs were fooling around with my Big Book. You know what--they are still at it today. p. 499 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." This brings us straight to the question "Does A.A. have a real leadership?" Most emphatically the answer is "Yes, notwithstanding the apparent lack of it." Let's turn again to the deposed founder and his friends. What becomes of them? As their grief and anxiety wear away, a subtle change begins. Ultimately, they divide into two classes known in A.A. slang as "elder statesmen" and "bleeding deacons." The elder statesman is the one who sees the wisdom of the group's decision, who holds no resentment over his reduced status, whose judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is sound, and who is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines patiently awaiting developments. The bleeding deacon is one who is just as surely convinced that the group cannot get along without him, who constantly connives for reelection to office, and who continues to be consumed with self-pity. A few hemorrhage so badly that - drained of all A.A. spirit and principal - they get drunk. At times the A.A. landscape seems to be littered with bleeding forms. Nearly every oldtimer in our Society has gone through this process in some degree. Happily, most of them survive and live to become elder statesmen. They become the real and permanent leadership of A.A. Theirs is the quiet opinion, the sure knowledge and humble example that resolve a crisis. When sorely perplexed, the group inevitably turns to them for advice. They become the voice of the group conscience; in fact, these are the true voice of Alcoholics Anonymous. They do not drive by mandate; they lead by example. This is the experience which has led us to the conclusion that our group conscience, well-advised by its elders, will be in the long run wiser than any single leader. pp. 134-135 ************************************************** ********* Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. --Ovid It's not what you were, it's what you are today. --David Marion Very little is needed to make a happy life. --Marcus Aurelius Antoninus A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --Wilson Mizne Times of fellowship with God are the foundation for serving others. --Doris M. Orr ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SEX "Sexual pleasure, wisely used and not abused, may prove the stimulus and liberator of our finest and most exalted activities." -- Havelock Ellis Sex is most beautiful because it enables the human being to experience and give love at an intimate and personal level. It also combines all the spiritual senses of body, mind and feeling in one expression, balancing tenderness with strength, patience with desire, need with selflessness. Also the awareness and experience of a beautiful sexuality should be taken into all other manifestations of life --- work, leisure, friendship, sports and prayer. The gift of sex is one of our finest and most creative attributes and leads to all that is noble in man, therefore, it should not be used irresponsibly. Today I understand that I have a responsibility to the gifts that God has shared with me. May I find in my sexuality an awareness of You. ************************************************** ********* "Take good care to observe the commandment, and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave to him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul." Joshua 22:5 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths. Psalm 25:4 "Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his presence continually." 1 Chronicles 16:11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration There is no hurt that God cannot heal. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble and don't know where to go. It is far wiser to ask God for what He thinks is good for us, than for what we think is good for us. Lord, Your Will not mine be done. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Learning how to live again " We learn new ways to live. We are no longer limited to our old ideas." Basic Text p. 54 We may or may not have been taught right from wrong and other basics of life as children. No matter, by the time we found recovery, most of us had only the vaguest idea of how to live. Our isolation from the rest of society had caused us to ignore basic human responsibilities and develop bizarre survival skills to cope with the world we lived in. Some of us didn't know how to tell the truth; others were so frank we wounded everyone we talked to. Some of us couldn't cope with the simplest of personal problems, while others attempted solving the problems of the whole world. Some of us never got angry, even when receiving unfair treatment; others busily lodged complaints against everyone and everything. Whatever our problems, no matter how extreme, we all have a chance in Narcotics Anonymous to learn how to live anew. Perhaps we need to learn kindness and how to care about others. Perhaps we need to accept personal responsibilities. Or maybe we need to overcome fear and take some risks. We can be certain of one thing: Each day, simply by living life, we'll learn something new. Just for today: I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, I'll learn something new. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When men are rightfully occupied, then their amusement grows out of their work as the color petals out of a fruitful garden. --John Ruskin What do we need most in order to be happy? Certainly we all need to be loved. Yet we need even more than that. The spirit also wishes to be needed. When we are needed, no matter what age we are, we serve a purpose for others. When we are needed, we will be loved, as well as respected, imitated, and rewarded with gratitude. Our needs are not great empty pits to be filled any way we can. They are the couplings by which we connect to those we love. Our needs also tell us what others want, and how to enrich their lives--which also enriches ours. How do we become needed? We have only to look at our own needs and give what we need to others--love, respect, kindness, and generosity. When we realize we are needed, we realize we also need others. What do I need that I can give to another person today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. --Bill Lemley Being overcritical and irritable has been common to most of us. Some of us go around with controlled smiles while underneath we are grumbling. Others blast everyone around them. Some of us save our most critical reactions for those we love while staying sweet and friendly with the outside world. In any case, we are caught in a blinding trap. We may know we feel trapped but do not see that our problem is mainly with ourselves. We need to look at our relationships. Have we been falling into a pattern where no one seems to measure up? Are we also being too critical or demanding of ourselves? Perhaps we don't need to lower our standards so much as to hold them less tightly. If we can be friends to ourselves and give ourselves a little more leeway, we can be more easygoing with others. I cannot force myself to be less critical, but I can let go of my willfulness so my more easygoing side comes forward. I can be less judgmental of others and myself. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Surviving meant being born over and over. --Erica Jong We have decided to live. And each day we make the decision anew. Each time we call a friend, work a Step, or go to a meeting, we are renewing our contract with life. We are being reborn. Before coming to this program we died, emotionally and spiritually, many times. Some of us nearly died physically. But here we are, starting a new day, looking for guidance from one another. We are the survivors. And survival is there for the taking. We will have days when we struggle with our decision to live. We will want to throw in the towel. We will want to give in or give up. But we've learned from one another about choices. And the choice to survive, knowing we never have to do it alone, gets easier with time. I am one of the survivors. Today is my day for celebration. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Needing People We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting ourselves need anyone at all. Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen people who cannot, or will not, be there for us. Some of us are so needy from not being loved that we drive people away by needing them too much. Some of us go to the other extreme. We may have become used to people not being there for us, so we push them away. We fight off our feelings of neediness by becoming overly independent, not allowing ourselves to need anyone. Some of us won't let people be there for us. Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we change, our circumstances will change. If we are too needy, we respond to that by accepting the needy part of us. We let ourselves heal from the pain of past needs going unmet. We stop telling ourselves we're unlovable because we haven't been loved the way we wanted and needed. If we have shut off the part of us that needs people, we become willing to open up, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved. We let ourselves have needs. We will get the love we need and desire when we begin to believe we're lovable, and when we allow that to happen. Today, I will strive for the balance between being too needy and not allowing myself to need people. I will let myself receive the law that is there for me. As I stop today and take the time to be still, I become in touch with my Higher Power. I feel myself filling with love and with peace as I relax and let go of the stress in my day. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Open Your Heart As Often As You Need Opening our hearts is not something we do once or twice. It is a way of life. How quickly life does things that make us want to close off, wall off, shut down, go away. But our commitment to staying open has little to do with what life does to us. It has to do with how we decide we want to live. Open. Loving. Safe. We’re safe because we know our ability and our willingness to love comes from within us. It is the ultimate form of learning to embrace our power. A long time ago when we were young, you may have told yourself it was risky to love, to trust, to feel. You told yourself that everyone you trusted would in the end betray your trust. Your belief has many times been proven true. But it’s time now to believe something else. It’s time to believe that the opposite is true. It’s time to believe that the opposite is true. It is risky to not love, not trust, not feel. Your security doesn’t come from trusting others. Your security comes from trusting and cherishing your own heart. Don’t let life shut you down. Open your heart as often as you need. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Find the adventure in your life He had quit his job eight weeks earlier, a prodigal son off to find his story in the world. He arrived back in town dirty, unshaven, tired, and smiling. He had $4.38 in his pocket, he said. Enough for a burger and fries, if someone would give him a ride– there wasn’t enough gas in his car to get him to the restaurant and back. We were just getting ready to go to dinner and one of the others asked if he wanted to come along. “My treat,” a friend said, “as long as you tell us some stories.” He did. And oh, what stories he told from his trip through the west– high mountains, deep canyons, altitude sickness, frigid nights. Story after story poured out as we listened over plates of tacos. “But what will you do now?” I asked later. “You only have four dollars to your name.” “It’s okay,” came the reply. “I’ll just go back to work for a while.” “And then?” “Take another trip. Next year I’m going to Europe to see what’s over there.” Take a chance. We don’t have to settle in and live in the first safe, comfortable box that we find. We can live in the moment, pull all that we can from it, then stretch our wings and fly someplace else. I’m not saying to quit your job and go off on a backpacking adventure, unless that’s what you want to do. I’m just saying you might want to follow your heart. Learn to cook. Learn to paint, share what you know by teaching a class. Find the adventure in your life, calculate the risk, then take it. God, put the adventure back in my life. If I’ve gotten too safe in my little world, help me take a risk. Help me learn to live big. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I can attain real dignity, importance and individuality only by a dependence on a Power which is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to use this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Just For Today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once? Today I Pray May I make no decision, engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power May I have faith that God’s plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself. Today I Will Remember God is the architect. I am the builder. ***************************************** One More Day The ancient sage, who concocted the maxim, “Know Thyself” might have added, “Don’t tell anyone.!” – H. F. Heinriches All too often people hide from their own feelings and from the reality of chronic illness. We may reason that if we ignore it long enough it will go away. Of course, this does not happen, and slowly we gain the knowledge of what our illness is and how we can best live with the changes it creates. Perhaps we cannot change the course of a chronic illness or medical condition, but we can , and certainly should, change how we react. Bitterness only encourages the company of those who are also bitter. Acceptance, openness, and serenity will attract others who share our willingness to change and grow. Today, I will be open and honest with myself as I move back into the path of life with an illness at my side. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ DECISIONS ~ We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing ... but even that is a decision. Gary Collins, PhD. Clinical psychologist and well-known author in the field of counseling I can't recall if I ever learned that I had choices. I think it's something a person learns as they grow up, but in my home, it was pretty much Mom's way or the highway, and she had us all so scared of the highway that even THAT wasn't much of a choice! Imagine my utter shock when I came into the Twelve Step rooms and heard I had choices! I was a married woman by that time, one who had gone along with what everyone else said about anything and everything, and the only choice I seemed to make was how much I'd binge that day, if I'd purge, or if I'd be anorexic. Even that choice wasn't in my hands, but in the hands of my disease. In these recovery rooms I slowly learned about making choices and the responsibility that went with them. It's been a freedom. It's also allowed me to feel like an adult. As a young child I was put in the position of doing things only adults should be doing. So on one hand, I knew I had done things way before "my time." Yet I still felt immature and naive. Learning to make my own choices and decisions has helped me to feel more mature and confident. One Day at a Time . . . I will not fear making difficult decisions. I will remember I can use the principles of the program to help me make the proper choice. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. - Pg. 135 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Whatever is on our mind at this time is probably something we can do nothing about just now. We're fighting a fatal disease here and our recovery is our TOP PRIORITY. Other considerations will simply have to wait. Help me to prioritize my needs: clean time, sober time, recovery. I Am Aware Today, I see that my life is up to me. How I choose to live, what I will accomplish, how I conduct my intimate relationships, how I treat myself, all are in my own hands. They are gifts of awareness that I can give myself. I can process my most frustrating and difficult emotions and bring them into my conscious awareness so that I can put them into proportion. I can reframe and see things in a new and more helpful light. I can stop running from what clouds and confuses my inner being, what obscures my inner light. I am strong in the awareness that I can live as I choose to live. I am willing to walk a path of self discovery that, though difficult, builds a strength in me and a knowledge that I can survive my most difficult feelings. I do not need to be afraid of my life if I am not afraid of my inner world. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am free to be who I am. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Witness the miracle of recovery happening for others, and you come to believe that this miracle can happen for you as well. Look at the miracles around you, one month off drugs, three years, 20 years or more. You are surrounded by living miracles. I do not believe in miracles, I rely on them. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book It's Anonymo-us, not Anonymo-me. Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I stop today and take the time to be still, I become in touch with my Higher Power. I feel myself filling with love and with peace as I relax and let go of the stress in my day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Tolerance: The ability to put up with those you'd like to put down. - Anon. |
January 28
Daily Reflections THE TREASURE OF THE PAST Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have -- the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124 What a gift it is for me to realize that all those seemingly useless years were not wasted. The most degrading and humiliating experiences turn out to be the most powerful tools in helping others to recover. In knowing the depths of shame and despair, I can reach out with a loving and compassionate hand, and know that the grace of God is available to me. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day What a load hangovers put on your shoulders! What terrible physical punishment we've all been through. The pounding headaches and jumpy nerves, the shakes and the jitters, the hot and cold sweats! When you come into A.A. and stop drinking, that terrible load of hangovers falls off your shoulders. What a load remorse puts on your shoulders! That terrible mental punishment we've all been through. Ashamed of the things you've said and done. Afraid to face people because of what they might think of you. Afraid of the consequences of what you did when you were drunk. What an awful beating the mind takes! When you come into A.A., that terrible load of remorse falls off your shoulders. Have I gotten rid of these loads of hangovers and remorse? Meditation For The Day When you seek to follow the way of the spirit, it frequently means a complete reversal of the way of the world that you had previously followed. But it is a reversal that leads to happiness and peace. Do the aims and ambitions that a person usually strives for bring peace? Do the world's awards bring heart rest and happiness? Or do they turn to ashes in the mouth? Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not be weary, disillusioned, or disappointed. I pray that I may not put my trust in the ways of the world, but in the way of the spirit. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Troublemakers Can Be Teachers, p. 28 Few of us are any longer afraid of what any newcomer can do to our A.A. reputation or effectiveness. Those who slip, those who panhandle. those who scandalize, those with mental twists, those who rebel at the program, those who trade on the A.A. reputation--all such persons seldom harm an A.A. group for long. Some of these have become our most respected and best loved. Some have remained to try our patience, sober nevertheless. Others have drifted away. We have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces, but rather as our teachers. They oblige us to cultivate patience, tolerance, and humility. We finally see that they are only people sicker than the rest of us, that we who condemn them are Pharisees whose false righteousness does our group the deeper spiritual damage. Grapevine, August 1946 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Easy does it_____ Avoiding tension As people of excess, alcoholics tend to swing between periods of great activity and times of complete lassitude. There is a tendency to waste time at one point, and then overcompensate for it by working feverishly and frantically to catch up. Both ways are out of balance. We need to approach life in a relaxed manner, letting the natural rhythm of events take over and do some of the work for us. Too much effort defeats itself. The overanxious person strives too hard and makes things worse, like the salesman who talks too long and kills the sale. In the AA way of life, we expect and accept responsibilities. But we are not slavishly committed to success at any price. We make a full commitment to any project we undertake, and we do our best at all times. Then we let things unfold rather than trying to force them. It is also common to hear people say, "EASY DOES IT, BUT DO IT!" This is a reminder that t he slogan is not a prescription for laziness and indifference. It is also a reminder to avoid high-pressure tactics and excessive pushing. I'll let things work out today. I'll do whatever has to be done. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We're part of the fellowship we call "the program." Let's also remember that we're part of a larger fellowship called " the human race." We all hurt the same. We all love the same. We all need understanding and care. Yet, in other ways, we are not all the same. Let's remember to understand differences among people. If not, we'll be afraid of anyone who's not like us. And this isn't God's way. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to love all people. Help me be open to others who are different from me. Help me love my neighbor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion. --Billie Jean King Champions are made. How lucky we are to have the Steps to guide us to become champions. The program promises us self-awareness, but we have to put forth the effort. And the process isn't always easy. We have liabilities, all of us, and it's generally easier to see them than our assets. Self-awareness is recognizing both. To become a champion, whether as an athlete, a homemaker, a teacher, a secretary, or an attorney, is to maximize the assets and minimize the liabilities, but to accept the existence of both. The program that we share offers us daily opportunities to know ourselves, to help other women know themselves, and to strengthen our assets along the way. We can feel our assets growing, and it feels good. We can see our liabilities diminish, and it feels good. The program offers us a championship. I can strengthen my assets, first by knowing them, and then by emphasizing them repeatedly. I'll focus on one today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES * WITH FEW EXCEPTIONS, our book thus far has spoken of men. But what we have said applies quite as much to women. Our activities in behalf of women who drink are on the increase. There is every evidence that women regain their health as readily as men if they try our suggestions. * The fellowship of Al-Anon Family Groups was formed about thirteen years after this chapter was written. Though it is entirely separate from Alcoholics Anonymous, it uses the general principles of the A.A. program as a guide for husbands, wives, relatives, friends, and others close to alcoholics. The foregoing pages (though addressed only to wives) indicate the problems such people may face. Alateen, for teen-aged children of alcoholics, is a part of Al-Anon. If there is no Al-Anon listing in your local telephone book, you may obtain further information on Al-Anon Family Groups by writing to its World Service Office: Box 862, Midtown Station, New York, NY 10018-0862 p. 104 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. I now understand that the spiritual malady should be my main concern and that the more faith I have, the fewer problems I will have. Today I have more faith than I ever had, and as my faith grows, my fears lessen. p. 499 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." When A.A. was only three years old, an event occurred demonstrating this principle. One of the first members of A.A., entirely contrary to his own desires, was obliged to conform to group opinion. Here is the story in his words. "One day I was doing a Twelfth Step job at a hospital in New York. The proprietor, Charlie, summoned me to his office. `Bill,' he said, `I think it's a shame that you are financially so hard up. All around you these drunks are getting well and making money. But you're giving this work full time, and you're broke. It isn't fair.' Charlie fished in his desk and came up with and old financial statement. Handing it to me, he continued, `This shows the kind of money the hospital used to make back in the 1920's. Thousands of dollars a month. It should be doing just as well now, and it would - if only you'd help me. so why don't you move your work in here? I'll give you and office, a decent drawing account, and a very healthy slice of the profits. Three years ago, when my head doctor, Silkworth, began to tell me of the idea of helping drunks by spirituality, I thought it was crackpot stuff, but I've changed my mind. some day this bunch of ex-drunks of yours will fill Madison Square Garden, and I don't see why you should starve meanwhile. What I propose is perfectly ethical. You can become a lay therapist, and more successful than anybody in the business.' pp. 135-136 ************************************************** ********* Listening feeds the spirit. The two most dangerous words in a recovering alcoholic's vocabulary are, "I'm different." Honesty gets us sober, tolerance keeps us sober. Newcomers are the lifeblood of the program. But our old-timers are the arteries. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Trust God. Clean house. Help others. The peaks and valleys of my life have become gentle rolling hills. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation WISDOM "Education today, more than ever before, must see clearly the dual objectives: education for living and education for making a living." -- James Mason Wood The spiritual life is a productive life. Not only does it make for a prosperous life in every sense of the word but it makes for a creative lifestyle. Nothing is wasted on the spiritual man; he learns from his mistakes and doubts. For too long I was stunted in my spiritual growth by negative and destructive thinking. I became dependent upon a sick self and attracted equally sick people. I used my education and knowledge to keep people out and remained isolated. I needed to change. I wanted to change. But how? As with everything else in life I needed to imitate those who were successful. I needed to be shown how to live a different way. I needed to discover the power of my spirituality. I found successful people. They helped me. Today I am able to help myself. I pray for the knowledge to imitate those who are successful in life. ************************************************** ********* No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9 Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. Hebrews 11:6 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness." Genesis 1:26 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration How precious are the little joys throughout the day. Lord, You have such love for me. I find You everywhere I look. Trials are part of life. How you respond to them determines the quality of your life. Lord, in Your justice, rescue and deliver me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today An Every-Day Addict " We can never fully recover, no matter how long we stay clean." Basic Text p. 80 After getting a little time in the program, some of us begin to think we have been cured. We've learned everything NA has to teach us; we've grown bored with the meetings; and our sponsor keeps droning the same old refrain: " The steps-the steps-the steps!" We decide it is time to get on with our lives, cut way back on meetings, and try to make up for the years we have lost to active addiction. We do this, however, at the peril of our recovery. Those of us who have relapsed after such an episode often try to go to as many meetings as we can-some of us go to a meeting every day for several years. It may take that long for us to understand that we will always be addicts. We may feel well some days and sick on other days, but we are addicts every day. At any time, we are subject to delusion, denial, rationalization, justification, insanity-all the hallmarks of the typical addict's way of thinking. If we want to continue living and enjoying life without the use of drugs, we must practice an active program of recovery each day. Just for today: I am an addict every day, but today I have the choice to be a recovering addict. I will make that choice by practicing my program. pg. 28 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. It is such a secret place, the land of tears. --Antoine de St. Exupery Where do tears come from? Perhaps each of us has a private well where the tears rise from. Each of us has our own landscape of events that have hurt us or given us joy. And so we have our own private responses to the world around us. Something may hurt one of us that would not hurt another. Like the oceans and rivers, sometimes our well of tears is flowing. We do not always understand all the forces affecting the oceans, or our well of tears. The kind of bucket that draws water from a well is solid and durable, and it lowers itself deep enough to find water. Good friends and family members are like that. It is comforting to share our private well with such people. Who will I invite to drink from my well today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. To perceive is to suffer. --Aristotle As men in this program, we have given up our compulsive escapes from life. Our escapes may have been through dependent relationships with others, or with money, sex, food, drugs, work, or emotional binges. But now we are learning to live without them, and this has brought us in touch with our feelings. We feel more joy and more pain in recovery. Often the first feelings in recovery are painful or frightening. We learn we can deal with life - all of it, a little at a time. We accept pain as part of life. Because of our escapes, our growing up was delayed. We didn't learn how to deal with our pain because we escaped into an anesthetic, a high, and a relief. Our spiritual recovery program brings us together with other men and women who have pledged to set aside these escapes. Among the many rewards is a reawakening to all of life. No longer will we filter out the suffering because that, too, is part of being aware. Today, I am thankful for all the life that I perceive and pray for the strength to meet the pain. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion. --Billie Jean King Champions are made. How lucky we are to have the Steps to guide us to become champions. The program promises us self-awareness, but we have to put forth the effort. And the process isn't always easy. We have liabilities, all of us, and it's generally easier to see them than our assets. Self-awareness is recognizing both. To become a champion, whether as an athlete, a homemaker, a teacher, a secretary, or an attorney, is to maximize the assets and minimize the liabilities, but to accept the existence of both. The program that we share offers us daily opportunities to know ourselves, to help other women know themselves, and to strengthen our assets along the way. We can feel our assets growing, and it feels good. We can see our liabilities diminish, and it feels good. The program offers us a championship. I can strengthen my assets, first by knowing them, and then by emphasizing them repeatedly. I'll focus on one today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Staying in the Present Moment Often, one of our biggest questions is "What's going to happen?" We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, and our life. It is easy to tangle us up in worrisome thoughts. Worrying about what's going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. It blocks us from learning and mastering today's lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that what's going to happen tomorrow will be for the best. Worrying about what's going to happen is a negative contribution to our future. Living in the here and now is ultimately the best thing we can do, not only for today, but also for tomorrow. It helps our relationships, our career, our recovery, and our life. Things will work out, if we let them. If we must focus on the future other than to plan, all we need to do is affirm that it will be good. I pray for faith that my future will be good if I live today well, and in peace. I will remember that staying in the present is the best thing I can do for my future. I will focus on what's happening now instead of what's going to happen tomorrow. As I take the time to let my stress go today I will be filled with love and peace and joy. I will be aware of these feelings through my day and share them with others. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart What Interests You? It’s easy to talk ourselves out of trying something new, then sit at home whining that we’re bored. It’s just as easy, and a lot more fun, to find something interesting to do. Learn to make a basket out of pine needles. Try spelunking, or take a tap dancing class. Learn to fly an airplane or carve a walking stick. Take lessons on that musical instrument you’ve always wanted to play. You can learn to braid your hair, write a poem, or even act in a play. Have you talked yourself out of doing activities you used to like to do? Is there something new you’d like to learn or explore, something you’ve always thought you might like to do? Begin a journey of discovery. Find out what interests you. Don’t limit your interests to activities connected just to work or spiritual growth. Opening up to the world and all it has to offer expands your creativity. Discovering what your interests are, then letting yourself pursue them will become part of your spiritual path. There are many magical things in the world, and people happy to teach you how to do them. See all there is to do. Get out of your house and out of your rut and discover what interests you. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go There’s magic in our beliefs There’s a church in the town of Chimayo, New Mexico. Rumor has it that the soil surrounding the church has special healing properties. Long before the church existed, there was a spring gushing up from the ground nearby. The Tewa Indians of the area believed that this spring held special magical properites and thought that by drinking the water, their infirnities could be healed. The water eventually stopped bubbling up, leaving only a muddy pool, and still the pilgrims came seeking healing. Finally, even the mud dried and turned to dust, and still the Tewa came. They ate the dust or mixed it with water and drank it. And many times it healed them. Then the Spanish built a church in the area. When the stories of the magical healing dust persisted, the church decided to blend with the local beliefs instead of trying to eradicate superstition. Today, people still come to the Santuario de Chimayo to be blessed or to take a little dirt from El Pocito, the little well in a back room. They still believe that the dust will heal them. And many times it does. Is the dust magical? I don’t know. But there’s magic in what we believe. Our beliefs tell our future better than any crystal ball or or psychic can. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, one holy book says. Be mindful of your thoughts and beliefs. What you think and believe today, whether it’s I can’t or I can, is what you will manifest tomorrow. Do you have any beliefs right now that are holding you down or back? What are your I can’s and what are your I cant’s? Take a moment. Look into your heart. Examine what you believe to be true. Is there an area of your life that could be benefited by thinking and believing something else? If you’re going to use the power of your mind, use it to form a positive belief. Sometimes, the littlest bit of magic is all we need to change our lives. God, help me come to believe what is right and true about myself, life, and others. Show me, and help me understand, the power and magic of what I believe. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Now that I am in The Program, I am no longer enslaved by alcohol and other drugs. Free, free at last from the other drugs. Free, free at last from the morning-after tremors, the dry heaves, the three-day beard, the misplaced eyelashes. Free, free at last from working out the alibis and hopng they won’t unravel; free from blackouts; free from watching the clock so that I can somehow get that desperately-needed “first one.” Do I treasure my freedom from chemical enslavement? Today I Pray Praise God that I am free of chemicals. This is my first freedom, from which other freedoms will develop — freedom to appraise my behavior sanely and constructively, freedom to grow as a person, freedom to maintain relationships with others on a sound basis. I will never cease to thank my Higher Power for leading me away from my enslavement. Today I Will Remember Praise God for my freedom. ***************************************** One More Day Love received and love given comprise the best form of therapy. – Gordon W. Allport Many of us with health problems are — by choice or by necessity — alone, and we may sometimes feel uneasy in a world geared for couples and families. Everywhere there seems to be yet another couple — on a park bench, strolling on the sidewalk, and on television. This is especially painful if we had, at one time in our lives, a happy, long-term relationship. Now we are finding a more complete and less restrictive sense of companionship and still maintaining our independence. Romantic love is not the only basis for trust and friendship. A Friend we can trust may also become a confidante, a strong emotional supporter, and an all-around booster. We may be alone, but we realize that we need not be lonely. I am lucky to have one close friend. I am blessed when I have several. I am no longer alone. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SUCCESS ~ Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965) a highly decorated British politician who served as Prime Minister of the U.K. My life before program consisted of one failure after the next. I could never master success with my eating, much less with my life in general. Once I came into these rooms and started working the Twelve Steps, with a God of my understanding and the knowledge that God is in control of all in my life, I began to realize that life is NOT a series of failures, only slow successes. One Day at a Time . . . I am a success if I keep on trying regardless of the outcome, because it is truly God's will for me. ~ Linda K. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contray effect. - Pg. 125 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The most important thing to know about Step Three, turning our will over to a Higher Power, is that all we can do is DECIDE to do it. There is no 'will' we can wrap and send. Once we make the decision to do this, our Higher Power will work for us through the rest of the Steps. I decide to align my will with that of the Source of my Spirit. A Birthday Wish Today I will make a wish. I will make a wish and trust that it will find wings. I will see it flying through the air, blown from a loving hand toward eternity. Birthdays are for wishing; wishing with a child's excitement, with an innocent faith that what I wish for can come forth. I will see my wish as already fulfilled, I will experience it as if it is happening right now, as if it is real. I am making my wish right NOW. My wishes have wings. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Many meetings, many chances; few meetings, few chances; no meetings, no chances. The trouble with staying home and isolating is I get a lot of bad advice. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Making amends is a good way to have the last word! Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I take the time to let my stress go today I will be filled with love and peace and joy. I will be aware of these feelings throughout my day and share them with others. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I get drunk - we stay sober. - Cubby S. |
January 29
Daily Reflections THE JOY OF SHARING Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you. to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 89 To know that each newcomer with whom I share has the opportunity to experience the relief that I have found in this Fellowship fills me with joy and gratitude. I feel that all the things described in A.A. will come to pass for them, as they have for me, if they seize the opportunity and embrace the program fully. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day What a load wasting money puts on your shoulders! They say that members of A.A. have paid the highest initiation fee of any club members in the world, because we've wasted so much money on liquor. We'll never be able to figure out how much it was. We not only waste our own money, but also the money we should have spent on our families. When you come into A.A., that terrible load of wasted money falls off your shoulders. We alcoholics were getting round-shouldered from carrying all those loads that drinking put on our shoulders. But when we come into A.A., we get a wonderful feeling of release and freedom. Can I throw back my shoulders and look the whole world in the face again? Meditation For The Day I believe that the future is in the hands of God. He knows better than I what the future holds for me. I am not at the mercy of fate or buffeted about by life. I am being led in a very definite way, as I try to rebuild my life. I am the builder, but God is the architect. It is mine to build as best I can, under His guidance. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may depend on God, since He has planned my life. I pray that I may live my life as I believe God wants me to live it.< /span> ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Alone No More, p.252 Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us. But when our self-will had driven everybody away and our isolation became complete, we commenced to play the big shot in cheap barrooms. Failing even in this, we had to fare forth alone on the street to depend upon the charity of passers-by. We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others. Even when our fortunes had not totally ebbed, we nevertheless found ourselves alone in the world. We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence. For those of us who were like that, A.A. has a very special meaning. In this Fellowship we begin to learn right relations with people who understand us; we don't have to be alone any more. 12 & 12, pp. 116-117 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Willingness is the Key___Strong Desire. Although willpower alone does not work in overcoming alcoholism, there is a place for the will, or willingness, in the search for a happy sobriety. Things can happen if we are willing to let them happen. More important, progress often depends on our willingness to give up what stands in our way. It also requires our willingness to take that actions necessary for success. This same willingness, so vital to finding sobriety, is also applicable in other areas of our lives. The pioneers of AA suggested that getting sober required being willing to go to any lengths. This is the key to other achievements and to the overcoming of problems besides alcohol. We often have to put up with unpleasant conditions simply because we do not want to change them badly enough. For example, we may dislike the unpleasant coughing and risks of smoking, but lack the willingness to quit. We may brood over lost opportunities, but be unwilling to take advantage of the opportunities we have now. The key to constructive change in our lives is willingness… and that applies to other matters as well as to alcohol. I'll try to be honest today about what I really want. I will remind myself that if I want something badly enough, willingness is they key to action and to success ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple An alcoholic spends his life committing suicide on the installment plan.--Laurence Peter None of us woke up one morning and found we had suddenly turned into an addict. We got to be one by practice. And we practiced often. We ignored our families--we left work early--and went drinking and drugging. Daily, we chose chemicals over anything else. Likewise, getting sober is no accident. We work the program. At meetings, we're reminded to help others. We all get sober on the installment plan. A day at a time. We got sick one day at a time; we recover one day at a time. Prayer for the Day: Today, with my Higher Power's help, I'll be happier, more honest, more sober. Sobriety is like a good savings account. Higher Power, help me to put in more than I take out. Action for the Day: I'll go over my Step One to remind myself it's no accident I'm an addict. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning "I can't help it" . . . that's what we all say when we don't want to exert ourselves. --Eva Lathbury Irresponsible behavior is not unfamiliar to us. Passivity is equally familiar. In the past, excusing ourselves of all responsibility prevented us from being blamed. We have learned that it also prevented us from feeling worthy, from fulfilling our potential, from feeling the excitement that comes with achievement. Our fear of failure helped us to be irresponsible. We may still fear failure, but the program offers us an antidote. We can't fail if we have turned our lives over to our higher power. We will be shown the way to proceed. Our fellow travelers have messages for us that will smooth our path. I have chosen recovery. I have already said, "I can help it." I will celebrate that I am taking responsibility for my life today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES But for every man who drinks others are involved—the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away. p. 104 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories A VISION OF RECOVERY - A feeble prayer forged a lasting connection with a Higher Power for this Mic-Mac Indian. For a guy who has spent years in jails, hospitals, psychiatric wards, a guy who just could not stop drinking, there was only one answer--Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps. I was very fortunate that I was steered in the right direction. A dramatic change has taken place in my life. Soon I hope to celebrate my second anniversary of continuous sobriety. In two years my whole life has changed. Today I sponsor others. I understand the word compassion, and i feel it. I am working on Step Eight at the present time, and I just know that more happiness is to come into my life as I "trudge the Road of Happy Destiny." p. 500 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "I was bowled over. There were a few twinges of conscience until I saw how really ethical Charlie's proposal was. There was nothing wrong whatever with becoming a lay therapist. I thought of Lois coming home exhausted from the department store each day, only to cook supper for a houseful of drunks who weren't paying board. I thought of the large sum of money still owing my Wall Street creditors. I thought of a few of my alcoholic friends, who were making as much money as ever. Why shouldn't I do as well as they? pp. 136-137 ************************************************** ********* The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us. "Let us open our natures, throw wide the doors of our hearts and let in the sunshine of good will and kindness." --O. S. Marden Prayer of St. Theresa May today there be peace within May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.... May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.... May you be content knowing you are a child of God.... Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance and to bask in the sun…. It is there for each and everyone of you…. --St. Teresa When you love someone, don't let a single thing become bigger than that love. It can destroy you both. Ask yourself, "Will this matter in 20 years?" The gift of Forgiveness is a gift you have given to yourself. The peaks and valleys of my life have become gentle rolling hills. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SUCCESS "Success is a journey not a destination." -- Ben Sweetland So long as I am sober I know that I am successful. But I also know that my sobriety is more than keeping away from the first drink. My sobriety requires that I be a creative and successful human being in all areas of my life --- in my relationships, at work, with my family, my business ventures and in my acts of charity. The road to success is exactly that --it is a "road" that I am traveling along, and I will be on it until the day I die. I suppose the danger is in thinking that I have arrived. Then I get complacent and apathetic, I slow down and the energy for recovery is diminished. Today I know that I am successful so long as I keep moving along with my spiritual program. Let me always be confident as I walk in my journey of life. ************************************************** ********* "The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes." Psalm 19:7-8 "Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all." 2 Thessalonians 3:16 Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long. Psalm 25:5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Call on God when you need a friend to make it through the day. Lord, may we share Your love and beauty so that our lives may not be lonely. Holding on to hurts causes us to live the pain over and over. Lord, may I forgive so that I may heal. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The First Step - An Action Step " Do we understand that we have no real control over drugs?" Basic Text p. 18 At first, many of us may have thought the First Step required no action-we just surrender and go on to Step Two. But Step One does require action! The action we take in the First Step will be evident in the way we live, even from our first day clean. If we truly believe that we are powerless over our addiction, we will not choose to be around drugs. To continue to live with or associate with practicing addicts may indicate a reservation in our program. An absolute belief that the First Step applies to us will insure that we clear our homes of all drugs and paraphernalia. As time goes on, we'll not only continue with the basics but add new actions to our First Step repertoire. We'll learn to feel our feelings rather than trying to control them. We'll stop trying to be our own and only guides on our recovery journey; self-sponsorship will cease. We'll begin looking to a Power greater than ourselves more and more for spiritual satisfaction rather than trying to fill that void with something else. Surrender is only the beginning. Once we surrender, we need to learn how to live in the peace we have found. Just for today: I will take all the action necessary to practice the First Step. I truly believe it applies to me. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Think in terms of depletion, not depression . . .. You can understand how a body can replenish itself, whereas it may be difficult to understand the way out of depression. --Claire Weekes Despair and depression may come over us suddenly, for no reason we can figure out. But if we stop and reflect, we may realize we are reacting to too much of something--too much work, too much excitement, too much fun. We may be having a letdown after holidays, after completing a project, or at the end of a school year. When we feel a letdown coming on, we must give ourselves time. We need to take some time off and do nothing, plan nothing. Then we can ask God to help us let go of the negative feelings that come along with a letdown. We can plan a small gift for ourselves--a walk by the lake, for instance. In our excitement with a rush of events, we often forget that we, like the infants we once were, need to take a rest and reenergize. Do I need to do something just for myself today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We grow in time to trust the future for our answers. --Ruth Benedict When we first started in recovery, we approached it as we did our codependent and addictive behaviors, wanting to possess it all - quickly and totally - and to do it right. Some of us thought we could learn all we needed to know about recovery in a few weeks. In living with this program, we begin to see we are engaged in a lifelong process. We are in a maturing process and this program is our guide. We can't rush it or move on to the next stage too soon. An apple tree does not blossom in the fall, and we do not expect the newly forming apples to ripen before they've grown. Our existence in this world is like walking through the woods on a rambling path. We can only see as far ahead as the next bend. We no longer seek some big moment when we finally get the outcome or a "cure" for life's experiences. The experience along the way is all we need. Today, I will think about (he tasks and rewards of this day and trust the future for what is unanswered. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. "I can't help it" . . . that's what we all say when we don't want to exert ourselves. --Eva Lathbury Irresponsible behavior is not unfamiliar to us. Passivity is equally familiar. In the past, excusing ourselves of all responsibility prevented us from being blamed. We have learned that it also prevented us from feeling worthy, from fulfilling our potential, from feeling the excitement that comes with achievement. Our fear of failure helped us to be irresponsible. We may still fear failure, but the program offers us an antidote. We can't fail if we have turned our lives over to our higher power. We will be shown the way to proceed. Our fellow travelers have messages for us that will smooth our path. I have chosen recovery. I have already said, "I can help it." I will celebrate that I am taking responsibility for my life today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Going to Meetings I am still amazed, after years of recovering, at how easily I can begin to talk myself out of attending meetings. I am also still amazed at how good I feel when I go. --Anonymous We don't have to stay stuck in our misery and discomfort. An immediate option is available that will help us feel better: go to a meeting, a Twelve Step support group. Why resist what can help us feel better? Why sit in our obsession or depression when attending a meeting - even if that means an extra meeting - would help us feel better? Too busy? There are 168 hours in each week. Taking 1 or 2 hours a week for a meeting can maximize the potential of the remaining 166 hours. If we get into our "codependent stuff," we can easily spend a majority of our waking hours obsessing, sitting and doing nothing, lying in bed and feeling depressed, or chasing after other people's needs. Not taking those 2 hours for a meeting can cause us to waste the remaining hours. Too tired? There is nothing as invigorating as getting back on track. Going to a meeting can accomplish that. Today, I will remember that going to meetings helps. Today I will treat myself to quiet time. Today I will be gentle with myself as I let myself do nothing but be who I am. Today I will value what I think. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Seek Peace I drove down the winding road into King’s Canyon, California, not knowing what to expect. The road took me past lavender hills and ended alongside a rushing river spilling over with whitewater froth. “Beware of Turbulent Waters,” the sign warned. I parked the car and stepped outside, taking in the scenery. Soon, I knew– I felt– where this road had led. It led to peace. Cultivate peace. Commit to peace. Insist on it. Don’t setlle for peace based on outward circumstances or a particular arrangement in your life. Drive down the winding road and find the peace that prevails amidst the mountains, now purple in the setting sun. Find the peace that prevails even when the turbulent waters of the river roar through your life. This is the peace the universe offers. Settle for nothing less. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Protect yourself from negative influences After a long rainstorm in the desert, I watched little drops of runoff splashing off of a rock face into little indentations in the rock. Each drop fell in exactly the same place as the drop before, and over the years, the procession had dug a tiny hole into the stone. I looked around at the other rocks in the area and saw that they,too, were pockmarked by the slow but steady effects of erosion over the years. Poor relationships can be like that rain. We start out on a course of learning and self-improvement with the best of intentions, but little by little our efforts are undermined by the associations that we choose. We do have an advantage over those rocks though. We can move. Maybe you have allowed your efforts to be sabotaged by wrong friends, wrong thoughts, or negative input of some sort and kind. You have a choice. You can choose to stand in the rain of negativity and slowly be worn down by it, or you can find shelter, a support group of like-minded people, a good book or program, a minister or mentor, a helpful and positive friend. Be aware of the negative rain in your life. If even a stone can be worn down over time by constant falling rain, how much more must we be aware of the influences in our lives. Seek out that which is edifying, and find shelter from that which can erode your resolve. God, protect me from negative influences, which erode my beliefs. Help me protect myself. Surround me with that which is positive, edifying, and uplifting. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I used to imagine my life as a grotesque abstract painting; a montage of crises framed by end-upon-end catastrophes. My days all were grey and my thoughts greyer still. I was haunted by dread and nameless fears. I was filled with self-loathing. I had no idea who I was, what I was, or why I was. I miss none of those feelings. Today, step by step, I am discovering myself and learning that I can be free to be me. Am I grateful for my new life? Have I taken the time to thank God today for the fact that I am clean and sober — and alive? Today I Pray May calm come to me after the turmoil and nightmares of the past. As my fears and self-hatred dissipate, may the things of the spirit replace them. For in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. May I be filled with the spirit of my Higher Power. Today I Will Remember Morning scatters nightmares. ***************************************** One More Day There is one thing a man cannot change — his parents. – David Ben-Gurion Sometimes we carry anger for too long and may blame others for our problems. It’s time to let go if we have been harboring anger toward our parents or other adults. In our memory, in our perception, they may have harmed us. Regardless of what happened, whether it was imagined or real, we need to let go. Unknowingly, we may have developed an attachment to this anger toward our parents, and it may take a professional therapist or a support group to help us break the dependency. We can take responsibility for ourselves and our own behaviors. By no longer blaming our inappropriate actions on anyone else, we can free ourselves of one unhealthy aspect of our lives. I am attempting to own my life and not see it as an extension of others. Today, I can take responsibility for myself and my actions. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ GRATITUDE ~ Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts. David O. McKay All the good I have ever been given in life, both before recovery and in recovery, has come from God. Even the ability to learn lessons from the bad has been one of His many gifts to me. I make gratitude lists and offer prayers of thanksgiving, but that is only the beginning. I only express true gratitude by sharing with others. I share it as experience, strength and hope at meetings. I share it by reaching out my hand to the compulsive overeater behind me and sponsoring them or befriending them. I share it by living a life that shows evidence of the realization of all that God has given me. I can only truly express my gratitude through action. One day at a time... I will show my true gratitude by giving away to others what God has so freely given to me. ~ Vicki B. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap. - Pg. 125 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Sometimes reality slaps us right in the face. We may be out of money, facing jail, losing a loved one, or hating our circumstances. However, right this hour we have only one true reality: SOBRIETY. Without sobriety all the above only gets worse! I make contact with Divine Intelligence so that I am not preoccupied with things outside my control. I want to remember why I am here. Learning from Life There are no 'buts' today. I am what I am, others are what they are, life is what it is. I will not parenthesize my growth with a 'but,' or hold back my forward-moving spirit with second-guesses. For today, I am living with things as they are. As I give this gift to myself I feel relieved. I am exactly where I am meant to be, learning what I need to learn. All I need do is move through situations with willingness to learn and openness to feel. When feelings are brought up, I can accept them as what is happening within me-no need to resist and analyze them. I can witness, allow, observe, share and process rather than shut down and hide. I can tolerate the intensity of my own inner world. I trust that my life is unfolding in such a way that what I need to learn will be before me. I am willing to learn. I see the 'table prepared.' - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If something is right, it can be done. If it is wrong, it can be done without. I can do that! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you think handling everything is too much, try letting go. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will treat myself to quiet time. Today I will be gentle with myself as I let myself do nothing but be who I am. Today I will value what I think. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I got sober and I didn't know if I was Arthur or Martha sexually. Then a guy got up and said that when he came in he didn't know whether he liked men, women, or sheep. So I sort of thought I was doing all right - because sheep weren't on the agenda. - John. |
January 30
Daily Reflections FREEDOM FROM . . . FREEDOM TO We are going to know a new freedom. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 83 Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to. The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from the slavery of alcohol. What a relief! Then I begin to experience freedom from fear - fear of people, of economic insecurity, of commitment, of failure, of rejection. Then I begin to enjoy freedom to - freedom to choose sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to express my opinion, to experience peace of mind, to love and be loved, and freedom to grow spiritually. But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a "new" freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day A drinking life isn't a happy life. Drinking cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about drinking is the loneliness. And one of the best things about A.A. is the fellowship. Drinking cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your wife and children, your family and real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You're cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you're terribly lonely. Have I got rid of my loneliness? Meditation For The Day I will sometimes go into a quiet place of retreat with God. In that place, I will find restoration and healing and power. I will plan quiet times now and then, times when I will commune with God and arise rested and refreshed to carry on the work which God has given me to do. I know that God will never give me a load greater than I can bear. It is in serenity and peace that all true success lies. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may strengthen my inner life, so that I may find serenity. I pray that my soul may be restored in quietness and peace. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Getting Off a "Dry Bender", p. 30 "Sometimes, we become depressed. I ought to know; I have been a champion dry-bender case myself. While the surface causes were a part of the picture--trigger-events that precipitated depression--the underlying causes, I am satisfied, ran much deeper. "Intellectually, I could accept my situation. Emotionally, I could not. "To these problems, there are certainly no pat answers. But part of the answer surely lies in the constant effort to practice all of A.A.'s Twelve Steps." Letter, 1954 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Justified Resentments____Personal Inventory One of the greatest hurdles in sobriety is the so-called justified resentment. We feel that we have a right to be angry at somebody who has hurt or offended us. This feeling might be correct if our anger could remedy the matter and bring it to a just conclusion, but this hardly ever happens. If we are angry, we usually want revenge more than we want justice. Uncontrolled anger will make us behave as unjustly as those who harmed us did. This means more trouble. Whether revenge is sought or not, anger also poisons our own lives. Emmet Fox compared it to the insane practice of drinking prussic acid. People cannot take a drink of acid and then assign it to the person they detest. They will bear its effect in their own bodies. In the same way, our anger produces its own acids, which destroy our peace of mind and make us ineffective. We can deal with "justified resentment" by reminding ourselves that there's no justification for the pain and sickness a festering resentment will cause in our lives. There is no justified resentment. Today I may have to swim against the tide by not getting upset over matters that enrage others. I will not let myself be drawn into the angry currents around me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Go and wake up your luck---Perian proverb We've been given recovery. For this, we're lucky. And we're grateful. Now it's up to us. We must accept our choices. When we're afraid, do we choose to be alone? Or do we choose to go to extra meeting? When we're not honest, do we keep it secret? Or do we admit it and try to be more honest? No matter what we choose, we're responsible for that choice. Through choices, we either make our program strong or weak. We can choose to be lucky. Or we can choose not to be. The choice is ours. Our addiction robbed us of choice. It taught us to blame others. Now we see ourselves as responsible. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to choose wisely. Help me remember I'm responsible for my choices. Action for the Day: Today I'll work at being responsible for my choices. I'll see myself as one of the lucky ones. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Fortunately [psycho]analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. --Karen Horney The passage of time, coupled with an openness to the messages gleaned from our conversations with others, can provide answers we need for the way out of painful situations. Life is ebb and flow, peaks and valleys, struggles and sweet times. What we fail to realize, all too often, is that the struggles make possible the times that are sweet. Our conflicts are our special lessons in life. We can learn to flow with them, move through them, trust their value to us as growing, changing women. How good it feels to have found security with one another and that power greater than ourselves who can, when we are willing, show us the path to resolution. Life will never be free of conflict--nor should it be. Our lessons move us to higher planes of awareness. We can experience the joy hidden within the conflict. We can help one another remember that the sweetness of a moment is tied to the pain of a former, forgotten moment. All events, all experiences, are connected. The path I travel, alone and with others, is bringing me brighter days. I will trust my path. It's right for me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose problem has been solved, as well as some who have not yet found a happy solution. We want the wives of Alcoholics Anonymous to address the wives of men who drink too much. What they say will apply to nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to an alcoholic. p. 104 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories GUTTER BRAVADO - Alone and unemployable, he was given two options by the court, get help or go to jail, and his journey toward teachability began. I was born in a major midwestern city at the tail end of the baby boom. My parents were not well-to-do, but they were employed and pursuing the American dream in the mid-1950's. Dad was an ex-policeman who had put himself through law school and worked with banks and as a real estate broker. Mom had graduated from a well-known East Coast college, majoring in journalism, and moved west to marry my father and raise a family. Both were children of hard-working European immigrants. p. 501 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "Although I asked Charlie for a little time to consider it, my own mind was about made up. Racing back to Brooklyn on the subway, I had a seeming flash of divine guidance. It was only a single sentence, but most convincing. In fact, it came right out of the Bible - a voice kept saying to me, `The laborer is worthy of his hire.' Arriving home, I found Lois cooking as usual, while three drunks looked hungrily on from the kitchen door. I drew her aside and told the glorious news. She looked interested, but not as excited as I thought she should be. p. 137 ************************************************** ********* That light at the end of the tunnel may be you. What other people think of you is none of your business! Bricks and mortar make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. --Irish Proverb "If I can just love you because here we are, then you are free to grow as you need to grow, because none of it's going to change my feeling of love." --Ram Dass God beats in my heart. I share his light with the world. --Shelley "What we must realize is that we cannot see everything. We do not know everything. More important, we must understand that it is impossible for us to control anything. The process of life is a spiritual one, governed by invisible, intangible spiritual laws and principles." --Iyanla Vanzant ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation POTENTIAL "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being." -- Johann W. von Goethe My program of recovery from alcoholism helps me have a relationship with myself and helps me relate to and understand others. The more I understand my strengths and weaknesses, the more I am able to understand others. Any understanding of spirituality involves other people. If spirituality helps me become what God intends for me, then this is also true for others. Today I choose to treat myself and other people as children of God, remembering that we were created to reach for the skies! Lord, our potential forever rests in You. ************************************************** ********* Encourage one another, and build up one another, just as you also are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 2 Timothy 2:22-24 But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. "He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:15-16 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3:8-12 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Slow down and see the gracious blessings that God has for you. In my quient moments, Lord, I know that You are there. When we have to justify our actions, it may be that our actions are not just. Lord, Your will is goodness. May I always have the strength and courage to choose Your way so that I can simplify my life and enjoy the peace of Your presence. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Giving It Away " We must give freely and gratefully that which has been freely and gratefully given to us." Basic Text p. 47 In recovery, we receive many gifts. Perhaps one of the greatest of these gifts is the spiritual awakening that begins when we stop using, growing stronger each day we apply the steps in our lives. The new spark of life within is a direct result of our new relationship with a Higher Power, a relationship initiated and developed by living the Twelve Steps. Slowly, as we pursue our program, the radiance of recovery dispels the darkness of our disease. One of the ways we express our gratitude for the gifts of recovery is to help others find what we've found. We can do this in any number of ways: by sharing in meetings, making Twelfth Step calls, accepting a commitment to sponsorship, or volunteering for H&I or phoneline duty. The spiritual life given to us in recovery asks for expression, for " we can only keep what we have by giving it away." Just for today: The gift of recovery grows when I share it. I will find someone with whom to share it. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Everyone has his own fingerprints. The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colors of the rainbow. Take your own color in the pattern and be just that. --Charles R. Brown We are often amazed at how different members of the same family seem to be. Contrasts are often great: one child might be loud and funny, one might be timid and quiet, and yet neither seems to take after the parents. A family is like a vegetable garden. The vegetables respond to outside influences. The one exposed to more sunlight will grow differently than the one growing in a damp, shady place. Vegetables growing in crowded areas of the garden may not be as developed as those around them, but they might be tastier. Although we may have common roots, outside experiences and friends mold us too, making each of us unique. We sometimes lose ourselves by comparisons and feel as if we don't belong, but the variety of our family garden is what makes the world so interesting. How can I honor another person's uniqueness today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it. --Archibald. MacLeish For many men, being addicts meant living double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home. In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones. Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Fortunately [psycho]analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. --Karen Horney The passage of time, coupled with an openness to the messages gleaned from our conversations with others, can provide answers we need for the way out of painful situations. Life is ebb and flow, peaks and valleys, struggles and sweet times. What we fail to realize, all too often, is that the struggles make possible the times that are sweet. Our conflicts are our special lessons in life. We can learn to flow with them, move through them, trust their value to us as growing, changing women. How good it feels to have found security with one another and that power greater than ourselves who can, when we are willing, show us the path to resolution. Life will never be free of conflict--nor should it be. Our lessons move us to higher planes of awareness. We can experience the joy hidden within the conflict. We can help one another remember that the sweetness of a moment is tied to the pain of a former, forgotten moment. All events, all experiences, are connected. The path I travel, alone and with others, is bringing me brighter days. I will trust my path. It's right for me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Religious Freedom ".. .a Power greater than ourselves...." "God as we understood Him." These words introduce spirituality in the Twelve Steps. They are the first two references to God, and they are worded that way for a reason. We each have the freedom to define, and understand, our Higher Power - God - as we choose. That means we do not bring our religious affiliation into our recovery groups. It means that we do not try to impose our religious beliefs, or our understanding of God, on anyone else. We do not use our groups or meetings as a soapbox to gain religious converts. We do not try to force the particulars of our religious beliefs on others. We give each person, the right to a personal understanding of a Higher Power and ourselves. Today, I will respect other people's understanding of God, as well as my own. I will not allow others' judgment of my beliefs to cause me anxiety and. distress. I will seek to grow spiritually in recovery, with or without the assistance of a particular religion or denomination. Today I give myself permission to take the quiet time I need to meditate and to improve my conscious contact with God. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Warm Up Sit in the sun and warm up. Sit in the sun. Soak up the love and warmth from the world around you. Take that warmth into your everyday life. Open your heart more to the people you see, the people you meet, the people you greet, and the people you love. Practice being warm, loving, and open. Do more than just think loving thoughts. Say it. Do more than just think of something nice you’d like to do for someone. Do it. Fear is cold. Sometimes, we become so afraid of life, people, ourselves– so afraid– that we become cold. Cold toward people, toward life, toward God. We may not be aware of how cold we have become. We may have been cold for so long, we just don’t see it. Being cold and afraid has become our everyday posture. It’s the way we interact with the world around us. Now it’s time to put warmth back in our lives. Don’t let your fears turn you cold. Sit in the sun and warm up. Then radiate that warmth to the people around you. Warm up to people. Warm up to life. Warm up to yourself. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go See the good in yourself,too “Let me see your hands,” she said, gently holding my right hand up close to hers. “Look,” she said. “We have the same hands.” My daughter was thrilled by the discovery that our fingers were the same size, curved the same way; even our wrists were the same shape. I was at her house visiting her, her child, and her husband that afternoon. We had snuck away for a few quiet moments together. Later that evening, when I returned home, she called me on the phone. “You seem so excited and interested in our hands,” I said. “I’ve always thought your hands were so beautiful. Then I started looking at my hands, and I though maybe they looked just like yours, but I wasn’t sure until we looked at them today. It’s just so cool,” she said, “that my hands look just like yours.” It’s so easy to see and notice what we like in other people. Sometimes, it’s not easy to see the attributes and beauty in ourselves. It’s good to see the beauty in others. But sometimes, take a moment and get excited when you notice what’s beautiful in yourself,too. We hear so much about people mirroring our negative qualities back to us. You know– what you don’t like in others is probably what you don’t like in yourself. And often that’s true. But people can also mirror our desires, our hopes, our attributes, and our strengths back to us. Chances are that what you see and admire in others is probably a mirror shining your good qualities back to you. God, help me see the beauty and the good in life. Help me be aware of what I like in others, so that I can better define what I aspire to become. Activity: Choose five people in your life whom you like and respect. Make a list of the qualities they have that you admire. Now, see how many of these qualities might correctly be used to describe yourself, as well. If you don’t believe you already possess these qualities, could you be selling yourself short? Or do these qualities describe who you aspire to be? If you define some new aspirations, transfer them to your goal list. See how easy it is to begin defining and clarifying our dreams? ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Have I gained freedom simply because one day I was weak and the next day I became suddenly strong? Have I changed from the helpless and hopeless person I once seemed to be simply by resolving, “from now on, things will be different…”? Is the fact that I am more comfortable today than ever before the result of my own willpower? Can I take credit for pulling myself up by my own bootstraps? I know better, for I sought refuge in a Power greater than myself — a Power which is still beyond my ability to visualize. Do I consider the change in my life a miracle far beyond the workings of any human power? Today I Pray As the days of sobriety lengthen, and the moment of decision becomes farther behind me, may I never lose sight of the Power that changed my life. May I remember that my sobriety is an ongoing miracle, not just a once-in-a-lifetime transformation. Today I Will Remember Life is an ongoing miracle. ***************************************** One More Day If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone. – Maxwell Maltz Sometimes, we frantically adopt other people’s problems to avoid confronting our own. Hiding from ourselves and our problems solved nothing. Yet some of us are so frightened by the challenge life has thrown before us that we are reluctant to confront it head-on. Most important is being able to face ourselves, especially when we are alone. We can’t always hide in the hustle and bustle of a crowd. But we can find a comfort level within ourselves, regardless of what we face. Then, when our spirituality is deepened and we understand our own struggles — and only then — can we assist, support, and share with others. My awareness of myself has been enhanced by my new life circumstances. The deeper I did, the more soul I find. The more and I find, the more I can share myself. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ NEW BEGINNINGS ~ ...To dry my eyes and laugh at a fall, and baffled, get up and start again... Robert Browning (1812– 1889) British poet and playwright When things didn't go my way, I would stamp my feet, lose my temper, and walk away. I was the world's greatest quitter! The Twelve Step program of recovery teaches me that when I trip over something, I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and start over at any time. I can turn whatever I stumble over into an opportunity for growing and learning. One Day at a Time . . . When confronted by roadblocks to my recovery, I can humble myself and ask my Higher Power, "What do YOU want for me to learn from this?" I can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones and move on in my recovery journey. ~ Linda K. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. - Pg. 95 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One hour at a time leads to one day at a time in our recovery program. Each hour is one of 24 building blocks of each day of our sobriety and clean time. My current building block is to be kind and considerate for this hour. Help me center my emotions and be kind and considerate for this hour. Empowering My Own Day There are no victims, only volunteers. If there is something I don't like in the way things are going for me, I will see what I can change. I can change the subject if someone goes on and on about things that I don't want to talk about. I can change my routines or change the way I get to where I am going, I can set boundaries with my time if I am feeling over scheduled. My time and what I do with it is precious to me, it is all I have to call my very own. I won't throw it away and then blame someone else gobbling it up. I have a right to protect the quiet and enjoyment of my day, to do more of those things that give me pleasure and fewer of those things that run me down. If I am living up to my responsibilities, that is enough. Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote They say both, 'My best thinking got me drunk' and 'Think a drink through.' Which is it? Are our thoughts friend or foe? Both, and the difference between 'stink'n think'n' and 'straight thinking' is simply self-honesty. We find a good place to start in Step Four. I have to think everything I believe, but I don't have to believe everything I think. I won't throw my time away with both hands - Tian Dayton PhD "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you are right, you don't need to be angry; if you are wrong, you can't afford to be angry. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I give myself permission to take the quiet time I need to meditate and to improve my conscious contact with God. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote There a no passengers in AA, we're all crew. - Anon. |
January 31
Daily Reflections OUR COMMON WELFARE COMES FIRST The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our Society has. . . . We stay whole, or A.A. dies. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 129 Our Traditions are key elements in the ego deflation process necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. The First Tradition reminds me not to take credit, or authority, for my recovery. Placing our common welfare first reminds me not to become a healer in this program; I am still one of the patients. Self-effacing elders built the ward. Without it, I doubt I would be alive. Without the group, few alcoholics would recover. The active role in renewed surrender of will enables me to step aside from the need to dominate, the desire for recognition, both of which played so great a part in my active alcoholism. Deferring my personal desires for the greater good of group growth contributes toward A.A. unity that is central to all recovery. It helps me to remember that the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Drinking cuts you off from God. No matter how you were brought up, no matter what your religion is, no matter if you say you believe in God, nevertheless you build up a wall between you and God by your drinking. You know you're not living the way God wants you to. As a result, you have that terrible remorse. When you come into A.A., you begin to get right with other people and with God. A sober life is a happy life, because by giving up drinking we've got rid of our loneliness and remorse. Do I have real fellowship with other people and with God? Meditation For The Day I believe that all sacrifice and all suffering is of value to me. When I am in pain, I am being tested. Can I trust God, no matter how I feel? Can I say Thy will be done, no matter how much I am defeated? If I can, my faith is real and practical. It works in bad times as well as in good times. The Divine Will is working in a way that is beyond my finite mind to understand, but I can still trust in it. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may take my suffering in my stride. I pray that I may accept pain and defeat as part of God's plan for my spiritual growth. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It In God's Economy, p. 31 "In God's economy, nothing is wasted. through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is." << << << >> >> >> We did not always come closer to wisdom by reason of our virtues; our better understanding is often rooted in the pains of our former follies. Because this has been the essence of our individual experience, it is also the essence of our experience as a fellowship. 1. Letter, 1942 2. Grapevine, November 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Open-mindedness Means Growth___Facing Change While open-mindedness is supposedly virtuous, many of us have difficulty with it. In our drinking, we continued to suffer because we were unwilling to believe that anything could relieve us of our condition. We also feared that change would diminish us. Our great liberation came in opening up our minds to new ideas. This same process might be needed to sober living. We may have an investment in old attitudes and ideas that are keeping us from constructive growth. Without giving up our attitudes immediately, we can at least give new ideas hones consideration and study. True open-mindedness does not mean empty-mindedness. We still can have strong convictions, consistent values, and definite opinions. But in the spirit of open-mindedness, we should continuously reexamine our views and adopt new ideas for improvement and growth. Open-mindedness helped bring us to sobriety. It can also open the doors to other blessings that will bring enrichment and happiness. I will be open-minded and curious today. New ideas can bring wonderful benefits to me if I am willing to consider them. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Do not cut down the tree that gives you shade.---Arabian proverb We need to remember what got us well. The Twelve Steps heal us. The meetings we attend heal us. Reading and listening to program tapes heals us. Talking with our sponsors heals us. The time we spend with program friends heals us. Sometimes we're pressed for time. As a result, we have to make choices about how to use our time. We may think we know enough about the program. We may feel like cutting down on meetings. These are danger signs. We only know how to stay sober One Day at a Time: by working the Steps. Let's not forget them as we grow in this program. It may seem like we've been recovering a long time, but we're all beginners. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I've found You in the program. Help me find ways to stay a "beginner" in the program. Action for the Day: Today, I'll take time to read the Twelve Steps. I'll meditate on how much these Steps have given me. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression. --Margaret Sanger Our desire to grow, to make a place for ourselves in the world of our friends, to know that we have counted in the lives of others, is healthy and necessary to our existence as whole women. The inner urging to move ahead, to try a new approach to an old problem, to go after a new job, to learn a new skill, is evidence of God's eternal Spirit within. Our meaning in this life is found through following the guidance that beckons us toward these new horizons, perhaps new friends, even new locations. We can trust the urge. We can reverence the urge. It will not lead us astray, provided we do not try to lead it. We each have a special gift to express in this life among those to whom we've been led. For years, many of us quelled the inner urge out of fear; but, fortunately, it didn't desert us. To be human is to have a constant desire to be more than we are. The fears still come, but as we move through them, with the support of other women, other friends, the program gives us the thrill of achievement. We know there is meaning in our existence. The need to grow, to change, to affect the world around us is part of God's plan for each of us. I will trust the urge; I will let it guide my steps. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Chapter 8 - TO WIVES As wives of Alcoholics Anonymous, we would like you to feel that we understand as perhaps few can. We want to analyze mistakes we have made. We want to leave you with the feeling that no situation is too difficult and no unhappiness too great to be overcome. p. 104 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories GUTTER BRAVADO - Alone and unemployable, he was given two options by the court, get help or go to jail, and his journey toward teachability began. Growing up, my big brother and I went to church on Sundays and attended parochial schools. We had plenty to eat and more than just the basic necessities of life. I was a smart but mischievous kid, and at some point I decided it was easier to lie than to suffer the consequences of my pranks. Dad was big on law and order but especially didn't like liars. We often had conflicts. Other than this, my early childhood was a relatively happy one. p. 501 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Two - "For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience." "It was meeting night. Although none of the alcoholics we boarded seemed to get sober, some others had. With their wives they crowded into our downstairs parlor. At once I burst into the story of my opportunity. Never shall I forget their impassive faces, and the steady gaze they focused upon me. With waning enthusiasm, my tale trailed off to the end. There was a long silence. p. 137 ************************************************** ********* Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. --Dean Hawkes Joy isn't the absence of pain - it's the presence of God. Life is a mirror: If you frown at it, it frowns back; If you smile it returns the greeting. --Thackeray Today I get to try to be a good example of a good example. In the past all I could be was a good example of a bad example. --unknown The most important person in the room is sitting in my chair. The second most important person in the room is sitting in your chair. --unknown Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past. Maintaining my spiritual condition is like building a spiritual bank account, upon which I can draw. The problem is, I never get a statement from the bank, so I have to be careful to keep putting in, or some dark day I'll find myself overdrawn. --unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation WAR "We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in the history of the world --- or to make it the last." -- John F. Kennedy War is tragic because it always destroys; it kills creation itself. People, buildings, relationships, trust, hope, culture, history, youth --- they all disappear behind a puff of smoke. The immensity of war is such that it cannot be fully comprehended. Only isolated aspects can be understood: a child is maimed, a treaty is broken, a race is blamed, bullets are heard and a history that existed within a human life is ended in silence. Addiction is a kind of war --- a silent war that exists within an individual and family. People, trust, buildings, hope, culture, history and youth disappear behind a glass or a pill. Creation is attacked from the inside; God is forgotten in an act of destructive selfishness. Teach me to make peace in my life. ************************************************** ********* "God is my strength and my power, and He makes my way perfect." 2 Samuel 22:33 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Matthew 5:6 Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to God. Matthews 5:16 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Today can be your best day. This power is yours alone. Thank you, Lord, for this glorious day. Greet all with gentleness and kindness so that all will know that you know Your God and will want to know Him too. Lord, may I be an instrument of Your peace. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Trust " Just for today I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery." Basic Text p. 90 Learning to trust is a risky proposition. Our past experience as using addicts has taught us that our companions could not be trusted. Most of all, we couldn't trust ourselves. Now that we're in recovery, trust is essential. We need something to hang onto, believe in, and give us hope in our recovery. For some of us, the first thing we can trust is the words of other members sharing in meetings; we feel the truth in their words. Finding someone we can trust makes it easier to ask for help. And as we grow to trust in their recovery, we learn to trust our own. Just for today: I will decide to trust someone. I will act on that trust. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Thou shalt not should thyself. --Anonymous When someone tells us we should do something, do we want to do it, or do we feel mad that someone else is telling us what we want to do? Sometimes we forget that these messages are not our own, but are the desires of others. It's important to listen to what we tell ourselves, to be aware of which messages we're giving ourselves and which come from others. We can make a list of all our shoulds and identify where they came from: parent, boss, friend, self. Then we can decide which shoulds are want to's, and throw out the rest. Doing what we want to is very different from doing what we should, and we can usually do a better job of it. Have I freed myself of shoulds today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The body is the soul's house. Shouldn't we therefore take care of our house so that it doesn't fall into ruin? --Philo Judaeus Some men think it is a mark of a strong man to abuse his body and pay no heed to his health. Have we done this through drug use or abuse of food? Have we misused our bodies by our sexual behavior? Have we neglected our physical condition or health because of addictions or obsessions with other people? To end abusive cycles, we need to act in self-respecting ways - sometimes before we feel self respecting. Recovery and spiritual awakening involve the body, mind, and spirit. We need nutrition, exercise, sleep, and health care. Treating ourselves as worthwhile men helps us feel worthwhile. Tuning in to how we feel physically may give us some direction. As we sense how we feel, do we get some physical messages to guide our recovery? I will yield to the messages I get from myself so I can enjoy the physical pleasures of recovery and give my soul a better home. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression. --Margaret Sanger Our desire to grow, to make a place for ourselves in the world of our friends, to know that we have counted in the lives of others, is healthy and necessary to our existence as whole women. The inner urging to move ahead, to try a new approach to an old problem, to go after a new job, to learn a new skill, is evidence of God's eternal Spirit within. Our meaning in this life is found through following the guidance that beckons us toward these new horizons, perhaps new friends, even new locations. We can trust the urge. We can reverence the urge. It will not lead us astray, provided we do not try to lead it. We each have a special gift to express in this life among those to whom we've been led. For years, many of us quelled the inner urge out of fear; but, fortunately, it didn't desert us. To be human is to have a constant desire to be more than we are. The fears still come, but as we move through them, with the support of other women, other friends, the program gives us the thrill of achievement. We know there is meaning in our existence. The need to grow, to change, to affect the world around us is part of God's plan for each of us. I will trust the urge; I will let it guide my steps. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Asking for What We Need One evening, I was alone, weary, and exhausted. I was in the midst of extensive traveling, disconnected from friends and family. I had flown home for the evening, but it seemed like nobody noticed. People were used to me being gone. It was late at night, and I began arguing with God. 'I'm out there working hard. I'm lonely. I need to know someone cares. You've told me to tell you what I need, and tonight. God, I particularly need the presence of male energy. I need a friend, someone I can trust to care about me in a nonsexual, nonexploitive way. I need to be held. Now, where are you?" I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. I was too tired to do anything but let go. The telephone rang minutes later. It was a former colleague who had since become my friend. "Hey, kid," he said. "You sound really tired and needy. Stay right where you are. I'm going to drive out and give you a foot rub. It sounds exactly like what you need." Half an hour later, he knocked on my door. He brought a small bottle of oil with him, and gently massaged my feet, gave me a hug, told me how much he cared about me, then left. I smiled. I had received exactly what I asked for. It is safe to trust God. Today, I will remember God cares about what I need, especially if I do. I will take the time I need for me today to be quiet and listen to my Higher Power as I gently make new discoveries and gain new wisdom. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Value Your Connection to Truth Trust what you know. Not what you think you know, but what you know in your heart. We often know the truth long before we let ourselves see and believe it, long before we’re ready to acknowledge it. For many reasons– fear, timing, and a myriad of issues too long to list– we ignore and discount what we know in our heart. But the truth doesn’t go away. What’s true, what we know to be true, will nag us and haunt us. And even if we try to run from that truth, our experiences will ultimately lead us back to it. Life may bring us many issues we want to run from, issues that are a challenge. But the real challenge we face is learning to trust ourselves and trust what we know to be true. Maybe someone once told us we couldn’t be trusted. That’s too bad. But what’s worse is that we began to believe it and started to tell ourselves that,too. Your heart can be trusted. Don’t doubt it. It will inevitably connect you to what’s true. Love yourself enough to trust what you know. Then stay connected to truth. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Speak the language of letting go Sometimes in our lives, we can let go in an instant. We recognize that we’re dwelling on or obsessing about a particular situation, and we just let go. We drop it. Or we run into someone who has a problem, and we instinctively adapt a hands-off posture, knowing that it’s not our responsibility to take care of other people. We say what we need to say, and we almost automatically let go and focus on taking care of ourselves. Other times, it’s not so easy. We may be entangled in a situation that feels utterly impossible to let go of. We get enmeshed with a problem, or a person, that seems to compel us to hang on more tightly when letting go is the key. We know we shoudn’t be obsessing, but we can’t seem to stop. One day, many years ago, back in Stillwater, Minnesota, my son was hugging me tightly. He didn’t want to let go. I started tipping over. I lost my balance. “Shane,” Nichole scolded, “there comes a time to let go.” Sometimes letting go happens in stages. Sometimes it means becoming more aware. Sometimes it involves going deeply into the feelings hidden underneath our behavior. Learning to let go may involve gaining more confidence and self-esteem. Sometimes it means simply practicing gratitude for the way things are. Be gentle with yourself and others as you learn to practice the language of letting go. Sometimes, no matter how much we know, letting go takes time. God, help me remember that letting go is a powerful behavior, one that can change my life and impact the lives of others. Help me be patient with others and myself as letting go becomes a way of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day One of the most constructive things I can do is to learn to listen to myself and get in touch with my true feelings. For years, I tuned myself out, going along, instead, with what others felt and said. Even today, it sometimes seem that they have it all together, while I’m still stumbling about. Thankfully, I’m beginning to understand that people-leasing takes many forms. Slowly but steadily, I’ve also begun to realize that it’s possible for me to change my old patterns. Will I encourage myself to tune in to the real me? Will I listen carefully to my own inner voice with the expectation that I’ll hear some wonderful things? Today I Pray I pray that I may respect myself enough to listen to my real feelings, those emotions which for so long I refused to hear or name or own, which festered in me like a poison. May I know that I need to stop often, look at my feelings, listen to the inner me. Today I Will Remember I will own my feelings. ***************************************** One More Day I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves. – Lord Chesterfield When a lifelong job is over, when a health problem occurs or mobility becomes impaired, when family moves away, the days may become long and lonely. Then, more than ever, it’s important that we take care of our own needs. Some needs may be immediate, for we have far more time than we know how to fill. We may look toward the future, afraid of all the time that must be filled. This is a perfect time to reach out into the community, to begin volunteer work. There are always people who need us, and by offering our help we will be helping ourselves as well. Each day is new and has new possibilities. I refuse to worry about the future or the past. Instead, I’ll try to make a difference today. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ TOMORROW ~ Do not be anxious for tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. The Bible, book of Matthew I've spent too much of my life worrying about the future. This was especially true with every diet I was ever on. I was always concerned about how much weight I was going to be able to lose in a certain amount of time. I always thought about tomorrow and what tomorrow would bring instead of staying in the present. Today, my Higher Power is teaching me to keep my eyes on Him instead of on the calendar. I am more successful and more at peace when I remain in the present and follow my Higher Power's will. One day at a time . . . I will keep my thoughts in the present, for my Higher Power will take care of tomorrow. Gina ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. - Pg. 58 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote When intense cravings for our drug of choice overwhelm us, we immediately talk to another person in recovery, even if it is 4 AM. Call your contact number, we must be here for each other! Give me the strength to contact another clean and sober person BEFORE I think of satisfying that craving. Beyond What I See I want to know in my heart that life has meaning and purpose beyond what I see. I want to train my eye for seeing what is beautiful in life the way that a musician trains his ear. I want to know that each day is a gift, that I can't just expect it, that life is precious. I say thank you for the gift of this day - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Anger is one letter away from danger. If I am right, I don't need to be angry. If I am wrong, I can't afford to be angry. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book When we remove me from 'blame' all that's left is bla. bla, bla.... Time for Joy - Book - Quote I will take the time I need for me today to be quiet and listen to my Higher Power as I gently make new discoveries and gain new wisdom. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote God doesn't care who carries the message. He just wants it carried. - Anne P. |
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