Wisdom For Today - July

[bluidkiti]

July 1

Wisdom for Today
When I am sitting in a meeting, I look around at the myriad of faces. I see people from all walks of life. There are professionals, blue-collar workers, housewives, those that are wealthy and those that are penniless. This disease surely shows no bias in whom it attacks. But the real question is how do I view these people sitting in the room with me. Do I pass judgment on them because of how they look or what they say? Do I sit and think that they don't have a chance because they do not think the right way or do not appear genuine in their efforts to get clean and sober? Do I listen intently to their every word trying to determine if they are being honest? Am I skeptical of others at meetings?
If I feel I can judge another and his or her attempt to get clean and sober, then I am hurting that person. And in hurting that person I am also hurting myself. Before I could ever point a finger at others, I must first point the finger at myself. I need to ask myself these same questions about myself. Certainly if I am busy judging others, then I am being arrogant; for I am no different and fully capable of any self-delusion that others might be capable of. Anyone sitting in the meeting will be able to hear my criticism of others and will see that I am not being genuine in my attempt to help others. In judging others, I also am not being genuine in an attempt to help myself. I must check this attitude of criticism and judgment at the door. I can ill afford to isolate others or myself from the program. Do I work to accept all people as my equal in meetings?
Meditations for the Heart
None of us is capable of coming to God by our own free will. In order to come to a relationship with a Higher Power, we all must be Spirit-led. We can only open our hearts and minds to this Spirit and trust that He will lead us to this relationship with God. Looking back at my own life, I know I did not open the doors to this relationship by myself. For that matter, I would not have even known where to look for the doors. I started this journey in childhood, and addiction quickly led me down a different path. I lost all contact with a Power greater than myself. This disease beat me, and I finally gave up in defeat. I got back on track by simply bringing my body to meetings. In doing this and by working the steps, I came to believe again. Throughout the recovery process, the Spirit will lead us to new doors and help us to expand our understanding, our faith and our relationship with this Power Greater. Do I open my heart and mind to this spiritual journey?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Let me stand beside my brothers and sisters in this program of recovery as an equal. Do not let me give rise to personal judgment or criticism of others. Instead let me speak to them words from my heart and about my experiences. Let me share what has worked, as well as those things that did not. Let me not fear opening myself to them, and give me an accepting heart. Let me follow the light of Your Spirit today.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 2

Wisdom for Today
Each of us has separate and unique gifts for service in the program. It is the combination of all of these gifts among the membership that makes the program work. All of these gifts for service work are needed within the fellowship, and all are important. For some the gift is the willingness to come in early, make coffee and greet others. For others it is the gift of running a meeting with purpose. For still others the gift is being able to reach out to the newcomer and offer encouragement and direction. Still others find that they are good at sponsoring others. And there are those that take on the role of GSR or other leadership roles within the program. It does not matter if all you do is offer to sweep the floor after the meeting; every job volunteered for is equally important. It is all needed.
Each of us has been blessed with a special gift to serve. All we need do is discover what it is and then go about providing this service. Some of us do not want to look for these gifts or offer our time to serve for the better good of the program. Yet if we are working a good program, the steps will point us in the direction of service work. We cannot allow laziness, arrogance or any other character defects to stand in the way of our willingness to serve. Instead each of us needs to seek out these opportunities and trust that the Spirit will guide us to use our gifts. We may be surprised by what we learn through these experiences. We may find out things about ourselves we had no idea were there. Remember that your willingness and the Spirit are all that is needed. Am I willing to give of my time?
Meditations for the Heart
"He shall preserve your coming in and your going out from this day forth..." All that we do in this life is guided by His hand. God will lead us as we move through our days. As we reach out to others for help, He is there with us. As we share our gifts in the program, He is with us. As we share our experience, strength and hope with someone who is suffering, He is there to guide our words. In our own struggles He is with us each hour. In our rebellion and unwillingness He stands with us, and He opens His arms to welcome us back time and time again. Regardless of where the path of recovery leads us, He is with us each step of the way. His constancy is forever. His love for us is always. He will shine brightly in our darkest times, and He will laugh with us in our joy. Do I know this Spirit guides my every movement?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Sometimes I wonder what it is You want me to do next. Grant me a heart and mind that will trust that the path You lay before me is where You want me to be. Recovery has had its ups and downs; but when I look back, I can see that You were always there for me. Increase my awareness of this in my day today. Open me to the gifts of service, and lead me with Your wisdom, strength and love.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 3

Wisdom for Today
As I got further into my recovery and had made my first trip through the steps, I found that I had amassed a significant amount of knowledge about recovery and what worked and what didn't. But I still had more lessons to learn. I had been chairing meetings and giving leads for quite awhile. I began to feel important in the program. This self-importance was made up of arrogance and pride. I began to feel like my opinion was more important than others. I began to make assumptions about what others needed from me. I began to get all wrapped up in the limelight of success. These attitudes began to get in the way of what was really important, and fortunately my sponsor could see me when I could not see myself.
One night after a meeting where I had taken a dominant role, my sponsor asked me to go for a walk. This request was unusual, but I agreed. We walked for quite a ways, and my sponsor was quiet the whole time. I began to get annoyed and wondered why he had asked me to walk with him. Finally, I couldn't stand his silence anymore and blurted out, "What is this all about?" He turned to me and gave me a look that stopped me in my tracks. "Do you know that AA will get along just fine without you?" he said. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I knew my sponsor well enough to know he was up to something. He went on to point out my self-important attitudes. He explained that my pride was actually hurting the group, as I was not allowing newer members the opportunity to grow because I was hogging the limelight. I didn't like what I heard that night, but I knew my sponsor was right. Months later he told me that his sponsor had given him the same speech. Do I know that the program is more essential than one individual?
Mediations for the Heart
Humility in the program is so very important. We all have things to offer, but I had to learn that I did not need to be the only one offering wisdom to others. I still had wisdom to learn. Wisdom is something that is grown over time and through experience. In this situation I still had more growing to do. Today I hope that I never stop growing and that I always remain open to learning from others. Humility however is not something that is grown. It is a gift that is given to us by the Spirit. This gift along with all the other gifts and promises of the program provide us not only with gratitude, but also a sense of humility. It is in recognizing this gift that we also recognize that we are not God. We recognize that the gift comes from the Spirit and that through this gift of humility, we can fully accept ourselves for who and what we are. It is in this sense of humility that we realize that we are His children, and we find His peace. Do I let anything get in the way of accepting the gift of humility?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Help me to check my arrogance, pride and self-importance each day. Let me not place roadblocks in the way of accepting Your gift of a humble heart. Let me share my experience, strength and hope with others in equal proportion to my willingness to learn from others' experience, strength and hope. Guide me in my steps along the path of recovery today, for You alone know where I am to be this day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 4

Wisdom for Today
Understanding that with freedom also comes responsibility is central to the process of recovery. If we are to celebrate our independence from drugs and alcohol, our freedom from active addiction, then we must accept the responsibility for our recovery. We are not going to have a truly effective program if we are attempting to stay clean and sober for someone else. It is only when we take responsibility for our thinking, impulses and actions and do this for ourselves that we can hope to find the freedom that exists in the program.
This freedom by no means indicates that we have been cured. Only when we are responsible and do what our Higher Power wants us to do can we expect to know freedom from the insanity of the disease. We are able to gain a sense of security in this freedom, and we begin to comprehend peace of mind. This freedom by no means is a reflection of a trouble free life. It does mean that we will have the tools and courage to live life on life's terms. Am I willing to be responsible with my recovery to gain this freedom?
Meditations for the Heart
Taking responsibility for our recovery becomes easier over time. As we grow accustomed to the discipline of the program and accepting our doing His will rather than trying to run the show our way, we begin to enjoy the responsibility of working a program. However, just because it gets easier over time does not mean that our responsibility lessens. Each and every day I must take responsibility for my life. Each and every day I need to seek greater understanding of God's will for me. Each and every day I need to continue to use the steps. Each and every day I need to do something for my recovery. The requirements of this responsibility change over time, and I need to continue to grow and adapt to the changing needs I have in recovery. This responsibility defines what it is to be willing. This responsibility defines what it is that I need to do to maintain my freedom. The freedom we all have is a gift, but it is our responsibility to care for this gift we have been given. Do I value the freedom I have been given?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In gratitude I acknowledge the gift of freedom I have been given. Grant me a willing heart that I may be responsible for this gift. Help me this day to seek out and accomplish all that I need to be responsible for in my recovery. Let me be diligent in this search and give me the courage, strength and wisdom I need for this day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 5

Wisdom for Today
Perhaps one of the most difficult lessons I had to learn in recovery “was not to put all my eggs in one basket.” Relatively early in the recovery process, my sponsor was talking with me and said, "I am not the one to put your faith in." I assumed that he meant that I was to put my faith only in my Higher Power, but this is not what he was referring to. He went on to tell me about his relationship with his first sponsor. I had never even asked him about his relationship with his sponsor, I guess I was still too wrapped up in my own world, so that I never thought to inquire. My sponsor went on to tell me that when his first sponsor relapsed, he also relapsed. I had not known that my sponsor ever had relapsed until that night. He talked at length about how his first sponsor got drunk and was killed in a car accident. Needless to say, I was blown away by this story.
I thought about it for many hours after our talk. It was clear that my sponsor was teaching me again. He was sharing his experience and how he had relied so much on his sponsor to keep him clean and sober, that when the worst happened, he fell down himself. My sponsor had twenty years under his belt when he shared this story with me. I couldn't believe he was telling me not to have faith in him. This really shook me, but I also knew that my sponsor was right. If I relied on him alone and his recovery fell apart, what would happen to me? We had several more discussions about this topic, and he continued to share why it was so important to rely on the group, the program and on God and not just one person. I continued to rely extensively on my sponsor until he died. Fortunately, he taught me to rely on more than just on him. Can I afford to set myself up to fall down because I put all my eggs in one basket?
Meditations for the Heart
Each of us in the program has our own set of "clay feet." We all have our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. But the Big Book clearly states, "There is One who has all power; may you find Him now." We are indeed weak, but He is strong. We can always turn to God. He hears us in our times of need. He will provide us with His strength when we are weak. All we need do is ask for His help. God will stand beside us in our times of struggle, sorrow and failure. He will lead us beyond these times to a place of joy and victory. None of us needs to feel bad about our weaknesses. It is in our weakness that we are perhaps most open to His help and intervention. We learn from our weaknesses, just as we learn from our strengths. We learn that God will strengthen our clay feet and help us to walk the path of recovery. Do I put my trust in the One who has all power?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In my weakness, I come before You this morning. Strengthen me for this day. Help me to follow the path on which You lead me. Give me the wisdom to rely not only on You, but also on the program and the fellowship. For it is through the steps and through these fellow members of the program that I am taught the lessons of recovery. Give me willingness to reach out to others when I am weak.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 6

Wisdom for Today
The program is growing all the time. New groups get started every day. But what happens when members of a group split off and begin a new group. What is my attitude when members of a group that I attend leave to start a new meeting? Do I wish them well and encourage them as they head out the door to start a new group? Or am I angry that they have disrupted the group that I attend? Do I get frustrated when the group, I am in shrinks in size? Do I have hard feelings towards the members that leave the group, or do I support them? This is the reality of the program: we all experience changing schedules and changing needs. As this occurs, it is not uncommon for factions of a group to split off and begin a new meeting.
My attitude regarding change is essential to how well I will accept, support and encourage this change. If I perceive this change as something unwanted and not positive, I will likely complain, judge and possibly even work to undermine the change. If, however, I perceive this change as something good for the growth of the program and support other members seeking to meet their needs, I am more likely to give my blessing and support. I am more likely to visit this new group and support it through my involvement. This is how the program grows. This is what makes meetings more available to others in need. Do I support the growth of the program? Do I see this
as positive?
Meditations for the Heart
Prayer is our way of communicating with our Higher Power. In prayer we both reach out, and we become receptive. Prayer is something we need to do often. We need to pray and pray until we find serenity in a relationship with God, as we understand Him. It is in this manner of communication that we find many needed things. In prayer we can find wisdom and knowledge of His will for our lives. It is in prayer that we can find hope and strength. In this relationship we find courage for each day – the courage to stay clean and sober, the courage for change and the courage to be honest. In prayer we are able to unload our burdens, and we are able to find rest. It is in prayer that we can find healing of our brokenness. Our resentments and fears can be quieted. Most of all, we find that we are not alone. Here we find communion with His Spirit, and we find acceptance. Do I pray often?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today I need only You to be present in my life. I need Your presence to guide me on the pathway of recovery. Give me this day an open mind, an accepting heart and Your peace. Let me remember to support the program, its growth and its changes, just as the program supports me and helps me to grow and change.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 7

Wisdom for Today
How willing am I to sit in a meeting and listen to the same things over and over again? All of us who have stuck with the program have been to hundreds of meeting on each of the steps. We have heard story after story, some of which are long winded and others that seem to go into great detail regarding the history of addiction. We have heard comment after comment on what works and what does not. We have sat through meetings also and felt bored. If it is simply repetition and boredom that rings out in meetings, why do we keep coming back?
Well, each of us in the program needs to remember that we are not the most important person at a meeting. We all need to find patience and tolerance for others. We need to let go of our judgmental attitudes. We need to realize that when others are sharing, they are doing this for their own good. To spill out our personal history and share our ideas and discuss our views is something we all need to do. Each person at a meeting is there for themselves and their recovery. They are not there only to be of help to me. When they share their stories, ideas and concepts, we need to realize that in some way God is encouraging them. Perhaps sharing is helping them in some way. Perhaps sharing is helping someone else in the room. Meetings are not always comfortable to sit through; yet the one thing we all need to remember is that the program is more important than we are. Am I willing to be tolerant and patient in meetings? Do I put the strength of the program before my own personal needs?
Meditations for the Heart
God is the picture of unity in this life. He works to draw us all closer to Himself. He wants to be in healthy relationships with mankind in general. He also wants us to be in relationship with each other. In the program we talk of the need for the unity of the group being central to a group's success. We talk about the need for groups to be in unity with each other. This unity is of utmost importance to the survival of the program, which in turn is vital to our own survival. This unity would not be possible without the guidance of the Spirit. It also would not be possible without our personal effort. Each of us must work to insure this unity. We do this by welcoming each newcomer into the group. We do this through practicing patience and tolerance. We accomplish this unity by willingness to help each other and a willingness to put the group needs before our own needs. Do I work to support the unity of the group?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I do not know where the path I am on will lead me today, but I do know that Your guidance is necessary. Let me seek to remain in unity with You and with the program. Teach me this day to be tolerant and patient with others in the program. Help me to understand that my well-being is dependent on the program’s well-being.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 8

Wisdom for Today
In the program we hear others talk and say things like, "You can't keep it, unless you give it away." This statement in a nutshell outlines our obligation to the program itself. The program certainly gives us much – our sobriety, our life, our sanity and much more are returned to us in the program. If we hope to hold on to these things and gain the other rewards from the program, then we need to give back to it. Some seem to think they are only involved in the program to get what they can and leave. Because they do not give back to the program, they never find the real gifts that come with working the steps and giving back to the program. Some find it difficult to hang on to the basics that happen in recovery, and others end up losing everything all together.
It is only when we develop a deep debt of gratitude to the program and the fellowship that we begin to take our obligation to give back seriously. In giving back, we share our experience, strength and hope. We share, and we gain a healthy sense of pride to be a part of something so wonderful. In being a part of the fellowship and giving back what we have learned, we experience what it means to be a part of the miracle. The marvelous things that we experience, as we see others making the program a part of their lives in some small way because of what we share, are a true blessing. Something wonderful happens inside of us when we are a part of the great work of this program. Do I feel a strong sense of obligation to give back what I have been given?
Meditations for the Heart
When I was actively drinking and using drugs, it was not just the emptiness inside that was so painful. It was also the fact that I knew I was not right on the inside. My heart and my mind were not in the right place, and as a result I was not right. In the program we have the opportunity to get right on the inside again. For some of us it gives us the opportunity to get right on the inside for the first time in our lives. The changes I needed to make had to begin on the inside. I had to get in my right mind, and I had to get my heart in the right place if I ever was to be right with the world. Regardless of what we may know when we walk into the program, we all have needed to make changes on the inside. Some of the wrongs we have committed in our addiction, we may never be able to right. However, we can always look to the inside and find and correct what is broken there. We can learn not only to do the next right thing, but also we can learn to be right on the inside. Am I working on being right on the inside?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today help me to seek opportunities to fulfill my obligations to the program. Lead me in the way of a grateful heart. Help me to seek Your will in all that I do. Let me start on the inside and work to expand my gratitude to giving to others and the program. Let me listen to Your voice as I walk through this day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 9

Wisdom for Today
In fulfilling our obligation to give back to the program, we also receive many benefits. Sharing my experience, strength and hope have really forced me to learn more and more about the program. As I share with others in the program, I am continually confronted with new questions – questions for which I do not immediately have answers. This in turn motivates me to find these answers, not just because I want to help others, but because it also helps me when I find these answers. Someday I may need these answers for myself. Frequently when asked a question, I need to go back to the AA Big Book or the Twelve and Twelve and reread sections to remind myself what the program teaches. It has had me go back to my sponsor to have long discussions on certain topics. It has increased my desire to learn more. It has increased my willingness to change the things I can.
When I don't have the answers and then discover them through researching program literature or talking with others, I find I am stronger. I go back to the person who originally asked me the question and share what I have learned and how I came to know what I have learned. They are always grateful, and we may talk at length about this information. New connections are formed, and my circle of recovery grows larger and stronger. I learn more from hearing others' viewpoints, frustrations and triumphs. It is these types of interactions that are really at the heart of the program – one alcoholic or addict sharing with another. I am helped and so is the other. I am glad that I don't know everything about the program. These types of interactions keep me growing. Am I willing to learn the answers I do not know?
Meditations for the Heart
For a long time, I did not understand why I needed to keep going to meetings and reading program materials. I thought that eventually I would know enough to get through life without having to continue my connections in the program. Fortunately, God in His wisdom knows that I will always need to keep learning and growing in my recovery. He sees to it that I face new and different situations in my life that keep bringing me back to the tables of the program. Even when I have a good understanding of the principles of the program, I am faced with new situations in my life that cause me to apply these principles in new and different ways. The word “powerless” for me has had to be applied to many different events and situations in my life. I have had to learn to use the steps, not just with my addiction, but also with life. Being able to share these experiences with others has been good for me because I in turn have my beliefs strengthened and my program broadened. Do I know I need to keep growing?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Let me begin this day as an open book where You write the words. Let me read the words You inscribe and learn from them how to live my life. Let me always be open to new growth. Help me to expand my knowledge of the program and teach me to use what I have learned. Keep me open to sharing from my experience, so that others may benefit, and I in turn learn more.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 10

Wisdom for Today
In sharing with others, I have discovered much about myself. I have been able to uncover many of the things that make me tick. I have been able to discover much of what motivates me, and I have seen how many of my character defects work. This knowledge of myself has been very valuable for me in my daily interactions with others. Knowing myself and what is going on with me helps me to make better decisions in my life. Knowing myself helps me take better care of myself – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Sharing with others is like standing before a mirror that provides a true reflection of myself.
I begin to really understand how this disease of addiction has rooted itself in my life. I can see how it has the potential to affect all areas of my life. Some of the pointed questions I am asked by others force me to re-evaluate my own life and how I am working the program. In working with others, I gain a greater appreciation of my oneness with everyone else in the program. I no longer feel alone but a part of something. This helps me to have a stronger sense of belonging, and I lose my sense of uniqueness. Do I appreciate the benefits of working with others?
Meditations for the Heart
I used to be very paranoid about someone knocking on my door. I was never sure if it was the police, a debt collector or someone that I had harmed in my addiction. Recovery has changed all that, and I no longer have to live in fear. However, this does not mean that no one knocks on my door anymore. I have many friends who now knock on my door, but more important that this is the knock that occurs on my spiritual door. I could not hear this knock when I was active in my addiction, but I am now convinced it was there. Each and every day my Higher Power knocks on this door; all I need do is answer this door. He is constantly seeking me out; and when I open the door to my Higher Power, He greets me and invites me to follow Him. All I need do is listen for His knock and open the door to Him spiritually and my life is changed. Am I willing to listen for the knock on my spiritual door each day? Am I willing to follow where He will lead me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Each time I work with others, more is revealed to me about myself. Thank You for bringing me into this program and giving me the opportunity to learn more about myself. Let me listen for Your knock at my door and be open to follow You today. Help me to not only listen for Your knock, but to be a good listener in all that I do.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 11

Wisdom for Today
Another benefit in doing service work and sharing my story has been the fact that I have become fully resigned to the need to remain totally abstinent from mood-altering chemicals. I no longer need even to entertain ideas that I can drink or use again. In my own way and through the struggles of early recovery, I have found surrender. With this comes an inner acceptance and trust that the program and God, as I understand Him, will provide me with whatever I need to face any situation in my life. No traumatic event can give me reason to return to the insanity of addiction.
No mind games are needed or accepted. I know that even if I were totally isolated from all mankind and given the opportunity to drink or use drugs, I would not need to or want to. I know that even in such isolation I still have a Higher Power, who will watch over me. Having this kind of inner peace and sharing this message with those who have not yet traveled far on the path of recovery imparts a great message of hope. When I think back to those that shared this message with me, I remember thinking that there really must be something in the steps that actually works. This has proven to be true not just for me but also for thousands and thousands of others in the program. Doing this service work and sharing my experience, strength and hope cements His hope in my life. Have I reached the point where I know that drinking or using drugs is not only not needed, but no longer desired or even an option?
Meditations for the Heart
This faith and trust that comes from honestly working the steps and using the principles is built one day at a time. I used to think that if I did the steps just right, I would have this profound experience, the light would come on, and I would be filled with the inner peace I sought. This may happen for some, but for most of us the process is more gradual. Based on one experience after another in the program and making it through one struggle after another, trust is built up. Assurance that the program works if you work it grows. Faith that the light in my life will grow brighter and brighter is attained as one gift after another is accepted from the Father of Creation. Sharing my experience only serves to reinforce this faith and trust. Inner confidence is gained, not in myself, but in the program, the fellowship and my Higher Power. Do I see my faith and trust increasing each day that I remain clean and sober?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Your light has been what has shown me the way thus far. In gratitude I continue to follow this light. I am truly humbled by the events and life changes I have seen in my life and the lives of those who work these steps. Let me share this hope with those who still seek what is offered through Your grace.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 12

Wisdom for Today
One of the other gains I have received from working with others and sharing my story has been developing the capacity to be honest. I found that when I talked with other addicts and alcoholics that I did not feel the need to hide the truth. I could be totally honest with them and did not need to worry about my self-image, nor did I have to fear reprisal. Sharing openly and honestly about my addiction as well as my struggles and victories in recovery, helped me come to terms with myself. I found that I no longer needed to hide. What has been even more rewarding has been the fact that I have been able to take the new honesty into other areas of my life and into other relationships.
I cannot say that I have been able completely to rid myself of the character defect of dishonesty, as I occasionally still catch myself falling back into old behaviors; but I can say that the standard of perfection is no longer my goal. I have learned that I only need to seek progress. Through the service work I have done and continue to do, I have developed a manner of living life honestly. When I do catch myself falling back into old behaviors, I quickly go back and honestly share what I have done and get myself back on track. Even this has become easy now. None of this would have been possible without my working with others. There is just something about looking into the eyes of someone else who has crawled through the minefield of addiction that promotes the growth of honesty. Am I willing to share honestly with other addicts and alcoholics?
Meditations for the Heart
I remember when I was a little boy and my parents would leave to go out. Even though I was well cared for by whoever was watching after me, I would watch and wait for my parents to come home. When I would see the car drive up or hear the door open and see they were back, I would feel a real sense of relief. As I got older, the roles would reverse. My parents would wait up for me and breathe a sigh of relief when I came home safe. Now I sometimes imagine that this is very much what my Higher Power must have been through with me. He sat waiting and waiting, always watching for me to return. He would pray earnestly on my behalf that someday I would come back to Him. I imagine what a joyous celebration He must have had when I finally returned home. Today I celebrate also, because I know that in the program I am home. In the program I live with Him in my life everyday. Nothing could be better than being home. Have I found a home in the program?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You never cease to amaze me. When I am tired, You find a way to revive and refresh my spirit. When I am angry, You find a way to calm my sprit and bring me peace. When I am sad, You find a way to make me smile again and offer me new hope. Thank You for all that You do for me in my life. Give me courage for this new day, and lead me on the pathway of honesty.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 13

Wisdom for Today
A great benefit that occurs as a direct result of sharing with others is the realization that we are only one among many. In my addiction I became very wrapped up in my own self-centered world. I was the king that ruled my own little universe of pain. I had no relationship with a Higher Power because I believed I was my own power. This self-deception crumbled with doing service work and helping others. The world did not revolve around me any more, and I was not the most important person in my universe. In reaching out to others, I began to gain greater understanding that I was only one of God's children. I began to understand more about the true power of this One I called God.
I began to see more and more why it was so important for all addicts and alcoholics to depend on God. I could not fix these newcomers any more than I could fix myself. I began to rely more on God and His wisdom because of my interactions with other fellow members of the program. I began to appreciate His strength, wisdom and grace more because of what I saw happening in my own life and the lives of others. Working with others and sharing my story has helped me see that I am on the way to where God is leading me. It helps me to see that we are all in His hands. Do I know that I am not the center of the universe?
Meditations for the Heart
"But for the grace of God" - This statement is repeated over and over again at meetings; but just what does this grace mean? I think for each of us it has different meanings, but what this grace is combines all of these meanings and more. This grace means that we can walk in His security and do not need to depend on anything other than His grace. This grace means protection against all that is evil for us, should we simply choose to accept this gift. The world cannot hurt us if we are wrapped in this grace. Sure, each of us will have struggles that we will face and even great pains at times, but we can ultimately not be harmed by this if we walk in His grace. It is this grace that enables us to find new life. It is this grace that provides for our needs. These words are not empty for the alcoholic or addict. His grace is all. Do I meditate on His grace in my life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Without Your grace I would not be where I am in my life today. Let me be an example of Your grace to others. Give me words to help others know the security, protection, new life and freedom that Your grace brings. Let me encourage all whom I meet in the program to accept the gift that You offer.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

July 14

Wisdom for Today
Yet another benefit that comes from working with others is learning to live in today. When talking with newcomers in the program, one forgets about their own past and also the future. You find that the focus is just in the moment. As newcomers share their fears, frustrations and despair, it becomes impossible to focus on our own issues; and we can only be with this person in that given moment. One comes to the realization that all we have is now. We help the newcomer focus on this as well. All they need do is not drink or use now. Fretting over the past only provides reasons to drink or use. Fantasizing about the future keeps us from accepting our current responsibility. Living in today is the only sane option for the addict and alcoholic.
In sharing with others I have learned to take each moment as they come. I am given choices along the way. I make these decisions, for better or worse, now. Life is simply a series of "now-s." When I choose to arrive early at a meeting and make coffee, I am living in the moment of time called now. When I speak to another member of the program, I am living in the now. When I pray, I am living in the now. Working with others shows us the futility of living life in regret and in the past. Working with others shows us the disillusionment of fantasy and the future. God gives us new breath in this moment called now. This is where we find life. No one can help us understand this and live this other than another just like us. Am I living life a moment at a time?
Meditations for the Heart
"Get over yourself," my sponsor would chip at me when he grew tired of my self-centered attitude and selfish desires. The truth is that I was so full of myself that I could not even see this for a long time. I did not understand these words from my sponsor for quite a while and was so wrapped up in myself that I could not even ask him what he meant. Finally I had heard my sponsor say this one too many times and got angry enough to ask him what in the world he meant. He let me have it with both barrels. He blasted my godlike omnipotence. He pointed out my selfishness. He pointed out all the times when everything had to be about me. My ego was slapped and slapped hard. I know now that this is exactly what needed to happen. I know today that I will never fully overcome my self-centeredness. It cannot be accomplished in this life, but I have made progress in accepting my true place in the universe. I continue to battle myself and my egocentric ways. Am I working to get over myself?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In my selfishness, I sometimes lose sight of my place in the universe. Help me this day to remember that I am one of many. Help me to recall that I am Your child and not the ruler of the universe. Let me strive this day to live one moment at a time – to breathe in Your goodness with each breath I take. Help me to let go of my self-centeredness each time I exhale.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 15

Wisdom for Today
In working with others, one of the best rewards that is gained is a real and true sense of usefulness. In my active addiction I really felt like I was a useless piece of junk. There was little that I did about which I felt good. Most of what I did left me feeling empty inside. But this has not been the case with sharing with others and helping them through by sharing my own experiences in recovery. I have found myself filled with the joy that comes from knowing that something I shared has genuinely helped another. When someone comes back to me and says that something I told them actually aided them in their recovery, I feel that I have done something to help another. Nothing I know of makes one feel more useful.
These opportunities to assist others in their recovery happen in many ways. Perhaps it is simply sharing my story at a meeting. Perhaps someone will approach me after a meeting and ask for help with some specific issue. Sometimes I find out I have helped others simply through my example. This in part is why it is important for me to live the program in all that I do. Regardless of how the opportunity to assist others happens in my life, I can rest assured that I never face this alone. My Higher Power walks with me in my interactions with all whom I meet. He will guide my words. So in truth, it is God who gives me this feeling of usefulness. Have I stopped feeling like a useless piece of junk?
Meditations for the Heart
One step at a time! This is how we walk with others on the path of recovery. Often times walking these steps through the fear, or pain or anger in early recovery can be arduous steps. It is easy to walk with someone only a short distance and then go back. It is far more of a challenge for us to walk with someone the entire distance. But think back to those who have provided you with support in your own journey, and you will see that those who walked with you each step of the way provided you with what you needed most. Think about how your Higher Power supports you. Does He not take each step with you? We must be ready to go the distance with others in need. We will know we have gone this distance when the individual offers their gratitude and moves onward in their journey with another to guide them in the next portion of their journey. Am I willing to go the whole distance?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You have walked each and every step of this journey with me. Your encouragement and wisdom guided my steps. Now You have brought me to a place where I can feel of use to others. Give me the courage to walk with them the entire distance. Help me this day to remain open to Your will for me and others.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 16

Wisdom for Today
The rewards of the program are great. Each person I talk with in the program that works the steps has described to me in his own words how the program has changed his life for the better. As I have listened to them talk, they describe how the promises of the program have come true in their lives. My life certainly has been changed and continues to change with the recovery process. My relationship with my family has been impacted, and the reward of my relationship with my children is great. The closeness I have been able to develop with those that really matter most to me cannot be described in any other word but awesome. The changes that I have experienced in how I view myself are truly staggering. I can look at myself through eyes of forgiveness, and I can see someone that I really like.
Most of the blocks that I had in my relationship with a Higher Power have vanished. None of my relationships with family, or friends or even God is perfect; but the progress that has been made in the recovery process could not have been predicted when I first started out. The warmth and love that I experience from others is also something that I can now return. The value that these relationships have for me cannot be counted. In truth, I do not fully understand how all this has happened; but I do know that none of it would be possible if I were not clean and sober. Perhaps what has been most astounding in all of this is to see how others have responded to me and how they value having a relationship with me. Do I feel that others value their relationship with me?
Meditations for the Heart
One piece of information that I was given by a wise man that has proven to be true is this - "God's way IS the easier, softer way." I struggled with this concept for a long, long time. I found that I was frequently frustrated by my efforts to follow His will. My will always kept coming back into the equation of life, and invariably I would mess things up. I did not see this as the easier, softer way. In fact, I found following His will extremely hard. But over time I had more and more days that I could look back on and say that for the most part I had followed His path for me that particular day. I began to understand what this wise man had told me. When I was not fighting with God and trying to run the world the way I wanted it run, my days indeed were easier. When I was not hardening my heart to His will, I found that my heart was softer. I began to see that as difficult as it seemed sometimes to follow the will of my Higher Power, this truly was the easier, softer way. Am I making progress with following my Higher Power's path for me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
When I look into the eyes of others with whom I am close and see the warmth and love that is there for me, I am truly amazed. This program and Your grace are solely responsible for this wonderful reward. Keep me willing to follow Your path, and give me the wisdom I need for this day. Help me to return the warmth and love that I receive and to open new doors to new relationships with those people to whom You lead me.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 17

Wisdom for Today
Since coming into the program, my whole concept of what friendship means has changed dramatically. I thought that I was surrounded by a large group of friends when I was drinking and using drugs, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Oh, I had plenty of acquaintances, but none were truly my friends. I had party pals, and I had bar buddies, but I did not understand the concept of friendship until I had people who accepted me for who I was. I did not understand friendship until I had people who were willing to sit with me through the long and painful nights of early recovery, simply to help me get through one more day.
No I didn't understand friendship until I had real friends who would be honest with me and tell me the truth about myself. I didn't understand real friendship until I understood that these individuals would stand by me, and I knew in my heart they could be trusted. In my active addiction I thought that friends were people that I could use to get what I wanted. Now friends are people I can help and who can help me in return. They have taught me everything they know about how to live a better life and to be a better person. I know that with my friends I do not need to hold back. I can simply turn to them and ask for help and know that it will be there. I also know that if they need help, I will be there for them. This is what the program has taught me. Do I now have true friends? Am I willing to be a friend in return?
Meditations for the Heart
Recovery trains us to develop virtues. Patience is but one of these. Patience is often a real struggle for many of us because we became so used to instant gratification in our addiction. One quick fix, and we had everything we wanted, or so we thought. But recovery teaches us patience. We learn that we must do the work if we are to accomplish the goal. Nothing worth having comes easy, and this is true with patience as well. We learn to put off our need for immediate satisfaction and superficial reward in order to gain the real value in recovery. Slowly and methodically we take each step and thoroughly work each requirement to find the value behind the work. We learn to live in God's time and not our own. We discover that as long as we are willing to be patient, God will supply the answers we seek in His time and when we need them. Just because we want something now does not mean that we are yet ready. God knows this and will give us His answers in His time. Am I discovering what it means to be patient?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Life is filled with many twists and turns, but You have provided me with friends I can rely on to help me along the way. Give me the wisdom to give back this friendship to any who need it. Let me this day practice patience and move at Your pace. Let me not rush to accomplish anything without first talking with You, God.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 18

Wisdom for Today
I can't really say that life has fallen into place, but I can say that all the pieces are fitting together. Just like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, one piece after another seems to fit back together again. It was more like I was a clay pot that had been dropped and shattered into a million pieces. One after another the pieces have been glued back together again. As time passed, the program has taught me how to live with inner peace. I am content with where I am in life. Even though I am far from putting all the pieces back together again, with the help of the program this once broken vessel is now useful again. I am not tossed around by events in my life like I used to be. In the past it seemed like I was just about able to fit another broken piece of my life back together again when something would happen, and I would drop the piece before it had been fit back into place.
The program has provided me with a place of rest. A quiet place for my heart and mind to concentrate on the best way to fit the broken pieces of my life back together again. One after another has successfully been fitted together again. It has been glued in place with the steps and faith in a Higher Power. What has been surprising is that my Higher Power has instructed me to put these broken pieces back together again in a way that I would not have expected. Slowly this new vessel has become a container for inner peace. Even in the midst of insanity going on all around me, I can still carry this inner peace. Do I carry peace inside of me in every situation?
Meditations for the Heart
In all of us there is an imprinting on our heart that tells us of God. It helps to explain God to us in a way that we can understand Him. This imprinting of our hearts also speaks to us in a still, small voice. When we are quiet and look within, we can access this voice and listen to the words of wisdom that it provides. We will hear reminders when they are needed. We will hear new ideas and new solutions to old problems if we listen. This small voice will talk with us and provide suggestions and course corrections when needed. This imprint also provides us with an inner light, so that we can explore those inner pits of darkness without fear. We are able to access this inner light to brighten our days. We are able to access this inner light to shine on the paths of others in our lives. Here is where inner peace resides. Each of us can access this inner place with only two words - "Dear God." Am I praying to God as I understand Him?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I wake this morning to find the inner peace that You provide. Let me use the steps this day to continue to put the missing pieces in place. Guide me and direct me as I move through this day. Help me use this inner light and peace to shine brightly in this new day. Thank You for keeping me clean and sober.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 19

Wisdom for Today
Hope reigns eternal for the alcoholic or addict in recovery. To move from a place of total and absolute hopelessness to a life filled with nothing but hope is a treasured gift of the program. I do not recall exactly when I crossed the line from absolute hopelessness to a life of hope, but I am glad this happened. Living in quiet desperation is the curse of addiction. It robs us of all hope. It robs us of our dreams. It robs us of our tomorrows. As I indicated before, the program is solely responsible for me receiving the gift of hope. Maybe it was the speaker at the first open meeting I attended. Maybe it was the look in the eyes of those I met after the meeting. Maybe it was the quiet prayer I said when I got home begging God for a way out of the insanity. Maybe hope happened later, I am not sure.
But hope indeed came into my life. I was able to stay clean and sober for one day and then another. The days added up, and I could begin to see that maybe, just maybe, I could remain clean and sober one day at a time. It was not always easy; but hope for a better life, a real life kept me hanging on. I began to gain hope for repair from the damage done in my addiction. I began to have hope that perhaps I was indeed salvageable. I began to live a new and different life. Gone was the preoccupation and fear. Despair vanished. Hope was reborn inside, and it grew. Hope is reborn each and every day in the program. Despite the problems of life, I have hope each new day. This is another gift of the program. Has hope become reborn in my life?
Meditations for the Heart
The Spirit is the messenger of the prayer we lift up to our Higher Power. This messenger takes our words and delivers them even when we do not know what to say. He hears the groans of our hearts and puts into words that which we do not know how to say. We do not need fear that we will not have the right words when we talk to God. Our words are presented for us in ways we cannot understand, but God understands. He knows our needs and promises to fulfill what our heart requires. His love is eternal, and He will hold us in the palm of His hand. The Spirit lifts our prayers like incense to God. He carries them and presents them to God. He carries God's answers back to us and leads us through our days. We do not always understand what these answers are, but we can be sure that God will provide. This faith is all we need have. Do I know that God will listen to the words of my heart?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Each day I open my eyes to see new hope in my life. You provide for me what I need for each and every day. This hope wraps around me and comforts me in the hard or difficult times. It causes me to celebrate in the small gains I make along the way. It provides me with new perspective and brings me new life. Send Your Spirit into my heart that He may carry my words to You this day. Keep me always in the palm of Your hand.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 20

Wisdom for Today
Jumping into recovery is like leaping into the great unknown for many of us. In fact, this is a good thing, because it is the essence of what faith is all about. For many of us it is the birth of faith; walking into a meeting for the first time is much like jumping into something we know nothing of. We hear people talk of things we have not heard of before. But in the middle of this confusion and nothingness, we sense there is something present which draws these people to return to meetings over and over again. We have no understanding what this presence is, but we find faith to hold onto what is said at the meeting. We hear the words spoken for the first time, "Keep coming back." We are somehow drawn to what is happening in this room, and for the first time for many of us we experiment with faith.
Often times we initially have faith in the faces we see and those that we meet in the program. But as we talk with them, we are told not to put our faith in them, but to place our hopes in the program and in a Higher Power. We risk everything by doing just this. Our whole way of living is to be changed. Our whole concept of faith will grow with these changes. We come to believe that there indeed is a presence in these rooms, a Divine Presence. We place our faith in that which we cannot see, but only sense. Over time we begin to see evidence that this faith is working for us in our lives. We place our faith in that which brings us new life. Do I risk faith in that which is a great unknown?
Meditations for the Heart
God rebuilds our lives in ways that we do not expect. He takes the broken pieces of our lives and makes us a useful vessel. We keep this vessel empty for God to fill, and He does just that. We continually empty this vessel by reaching out to help others; and in doing so, we find that God refills the vessel again and again. He fills us with His Spirit; and in doing so, we are given strength, courage and wisdom for our journey in recovery. We begin to understand that the more we give, the more we are filled. Some of us have tried to keep all that we have been given. In doing this, we find that we are cut off from the supply of goodness that God wishes to fill us with. Our selfishness dries up the content of the vessel, and we again feel empty inside. It is only when we become willing to share what we have been given that our supply of His love is poured out upon us. Am I emptying my vessel of knowledge, strength and courage into the lives of those that need it most in the program?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
I am filled with Your Spirit and desire to give away what I have been given. Show me when and how to do this. Lead me to those that need to hear my story, and grant me the courage to let go and share freely what I have been given. Increase my faith in all that I do this day. Let me go about the tasks that You want me to complete.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 21

Wisdom for Today
Another gift from the program we receive is the ability to love. I am not talking of the selfish passion, which we had for our drugs and alcohol, rather an unselfish desire to be of help to others. I genuinely want to reach out to others and give them my best efforts. I want to do what is right for them. This ability to love others in an unselfish manner begins with an acceptance that I need to do what my Higher Power wants me to do. It comes by putting the other guy first and myself last. This is the exact opposite of how I would behave in my active addiction. When I was drinking and using drugs everything was about me. I attempted to control the world and those in it for my own selfish needs. Nothing came between me and my desire to get high or wasted. I came before everything else. I didn't care whom I hurt in the process.
In recovery I have learned that I do not need to behave in this way. When I put God first, I no longer need to worry about my own selfish needs. I know I will be taken care of through His love. I am free to care about and give to others. This includes those I meet in the program, as well as my family and other friends. I am no longer concerned with my agenda, for I am out to accomplish another agenda. In recovery I am given one opportunity after another truly to love others. In giving from my heart, my agenda is lost; and I serve God's agenda. Do I do this perfectly? By no means can any of us ever accomplish this in this lifetime! All I can hope for is progress. Am I making progress in loving others?
Meditations for the Heart
Man has often dreamed of an unlimited supply of power; but with all our resources available to us, they all have limits in some way. But for the addict and alcoholic, we find a source of unlimited power in the program. As we turn our lives over, we find "One who has all Power." That one is God. His power is ceaseless. To tap into this never-ending supply of power, all we need do is ask God for His help. His strength is immediately available to us. Too many of us are blocked off from this Power. We get in the way by refusing to surrender fully to His will. We are blocked by returning to an attitude of self-reliance. We get blocked by being prideful and not being willing to ask for help. Yet, in our foolishness, we discover that the Power we seek is always there for us. We may at times turn our back on God, but He never turns His back on us. Where am I today in my walk with my Higher Power?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today as always You give me Your love. Help me this day to give this kind of love back to others I meet in my day. Let me seek to do Your will as I walk though this day. Let me tap into Your never-ending supply of power. Open my heart to others as I walk this journey of recovery.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 22

Wisdom for Today
One thing that addiction robbed me of was my ambition. I lost interest in life and had no initiative to accomplish any of the goals or dreams I once had. I lost any discipline I once had to stick with a task until I finished what I started. There was no fuel in my engine; and I sat on the side of the road waiting for life to bring good things to me, which never happened. Instead life just passed me by. All my wishing did nothing, and I couldn't seem to get going on anything except my next drink or high. I became this pathetic blob that never could initiate even the first step to get anything done.
In recovery I was able to regain this part of myself that had been lost. I again gained interest in life and wanted to accomplish something. I had ambition to accomplish new goals. Early on these goals were very simple. I simply wanted to get through the day clean and sober. I would get up in the morning and make my bed, clean myself up and make a beginning at getting through the day. Later my sponsor coached me though the Twelve Steps, and I wanted to do things like finish the repair work in my life. I became motivated spiritually to expand my conscience contact with a Higher Power. My dreams for life came back to life. Out of the ashes of addiction arose a fiery hope for a new a different agenda in life. Have I regained the discipline and energy I once lost?
Meditations for the Heart
Out of the desperate despair of addiction grew a new flower of happiness. This was not accomplished all at once, but step by step as I accomplished one task after another. I found a new joy. I discovered that real happiness does not come in a bottle or in some pill. No pile of white powder ever gave me a true sense of happiness, only a brief reprieve from the stark darkness of addiction. Real happiness and joy are not only possible in recovery, but they are the outcome of using the program and the steps one day at a time. As we walk this path called recovery, new seeds are sown. The flowers of joy and happiness do grow and blossom in our lives. We discover that it comes in the little things of life that happen each day in this journey. We learn to share this happiness and joy with other people in our lives. As our lives are rebuilt by and with a Power greater than ourselves, happiness and joy blossom fully in our lives. Do I see the seeds of happiness and joy blossoming in my life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Here is another new day that You have blessed me with, and in it I know You will grant me new energy and determination. Give me this day the discipline to finish the tasks set before me. Let me follow Your lead so that I might complete the next steps in my journey of recovery. I am grateful this day for the new happiness You have bought into my life.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 23

Wisdom for Today
In previous days we have looked at some of the gains and rewards that come through the recovery process. Perhaps just as valuable as the gains we make are the things we lose through the process. Fear used to control much of my life and affected many of the decisions I would make in my addiction. I cannot say that all my fears are lost because of sobriety, but many of the unhealthy fears I had are now gone. I do not even know how or when I lost many of these fears, but I do remember waking up one morning and being grateful because there was nothing to fear as I walked into the day. When I was drinking and using, I found that I was always looking over my shoulder. I felt that the worse was about to happen.
This changed in recovery. I no longer had to worry about what I did or did not do the day before. I can't say whether fear lost its grip on me or if I lost my grip on fear. I just know it changed and then was gone. Today I look back at this and realize that but for the grace of God, I still would be walking in fear. This is not the case. But fear was not the only thing I lost in the recovery process; and in the coming days, I will describe other things that I lost simply by staying clean and sober and using the steps. Does fear still have a grip on my life? Do I still maintain a grip on fear?
Meditations for the Heart
In times past I let people use me, and I also used them in order to get wasted. This is the nature of addiction. We allow others to walk all over us as long as it does not interfere with our getting drunk or high. Often times I would use these events as another excuse to go off the deep end. I also have to be honest and say there were just as many times, if not more, that I was the one using others for my own self-gratification. I didn't care if I had to step on someone or use them to get what I wanted. Recovery has a way of getting in the way of these behaviors. In working the program, I have learned that I do not need to let others walk all over me. I have also learned that I can't just go around using others anymore. This thing called a conscience gets in the way. How has using others or allowing myself to be used changed in recovery?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
As I awaken this morning, my breathing is quiet, and my thoughts are at ease. Fear is no longer intrusive or controlling in my life. I have no explanation for this except for a belief that You have removed this thing called fear from me. Let me walk into this day confident that You are always near and that I have no reason to fear. Keep me on the path of working the steps and living the program.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 24

Wisdom for Today
Anger and resentment have slipped away. Those things that used to drive me up a wall and leave me hot under the collar have been lost. The thought of seeking revenge or a way to get even have not been a part of my thinking in my recovery. This did not happen right away, but this poison is not something I wish to drink any longer. There was a time when all I did was plot and scheme on ways to act on my hidden anger and rage against the world, my friends and my family. Why did they have to judge me? Who gave them the right? How would I pay them back? These questions and others just like them tore my insides apart in the past, but they are needed no longer.
Hanging on to resentments only hurt me. I was never foolish enough to really act out my rage. Instead I turned this anger inward on my self. I found ways in recovery to let go and found that as I turned things over to God, I no longer needed to carry these burdens. Hate was not something I needed anymore; it only served to provide another excuse to drink or use. In its place I was able to look at my part in the problem. I could look at what I needed to change. In its place I discovered things like forgiveness, tolerance and understanding. As the rage departed and the resentments hushed, I found something called peace. Yes, losing the burden of anger and resentment has turned out to be a good thing. Do I continue to carry the burden of anger and resentment?
Meditations for the Heart
How I react to and treat others has changed dramatically over time. This was not so much up to me as it was up to His grace. Yes, I have done much of the footwork by working the steps, but the changes that occurred as a result of this really happened not because of what I had done, but because of my Higher Power's interventions. He has changed the way I think. He has changed the way I view life. He has changed the way I interact with others. I still am called to interact with others daily. I am still called to do the next right thing. I am still called to do His will. These choices I make, but as for the outcome of these choices, I leave that all up to God. He helps me to perceive the world in a new and different light. He helps me to think before I speak. He helps me to find new ways to solve old and difficult conflicts. His grace makes this happen in my life. Am I doing the footwork and leaving the outcome up to God?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In Your wisdom You show me what is needed. When I need to look in the mirror, You provide me with someone who will reflect what they see back to me. When I need to see beyond my own thinking, You provide me with another opinion. When I need to look straight ahead, You give me a straight and narrow path. When I need to struggle with something, You provide me with a wide berth and allow me to look at things for as long as I need to. Continue this day to show me the way.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 25

Wisdom for Today
Gone are the days when I beat myself up. Lost is the self-hatred. How does one go from self-loathing to actually loving self and others? When did this actually occur? Somewhere in the recovery process, I stopped doing all those things, which completely violated my values. I stopped doing that which my conscience knew was wrong. This is not to say that I still don’t make mistakes. I am human. But I no longer need to destroy my life and hurt others for my own selfish gain. I no longer need to get out a big stick and beat myself over the head. I no longer have to ask myself why I was so stupid. I no longer need to walk in absolute shame.
I cannot fully explain what it is like to lose this need to hate myself and actually care again. This is the miracle called recovery. You see, recovery is not just about simple abstinence. The program teaches me so much more. I have been able to sort through the piles of “yuk” in my life and find that which is truly important. I have learned to operate within my values. I have learned to admit the mistakes I make and work to change my behavior so as not to repeat destructive patterns. I have developed a sense of right and wrong and a desire to do the next right thing. I no longer need to put myself down and abuse myself. I have learned to accept my humanity. Have I lost my self-hatred?
Meditations for the Heart
Values and virtues are things we do not often speak of, but they are of utmost importance to the recovering addict and alcoholic. Values are the things we hold dear. They define what is important and where we invest our time and energy. If I value my recovery I will invest time and energy into it. The same is true with family, a spiritual life, work, self-care and our relationships with others. Virtues on the other hand determine how we go about living our lives. The program teaches us many virtues such as honesty, courage, wisdom and many others. We discover that we do not need to live in a manner of self-deceit, dishonesty, fear and stupidity. We find that we can develop healthy values and virtues. Recovery and the steps and traditions teach us how to live. Am I developing a healthy set of values and virtues?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Once again this morning I can look in the mirror. There was a time that I could not do this. I avoided looking at myself because I did not want to see what was there. I am grateful for this ability to see myself and accept myself again. Thank You for this new vision not only of who I am, but also who I can become. Help me this day to use my values as a guide for living. Teach me to use the virtues of the program in my daily life.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 26

Wisdom for Today
Something else that I have lost as a result of staying clean and sober is the inability to believe in myself. I had become convinced that I was just a loser. I knew that there was no way to trust myself or my ability to make good decisions. I had no self-confidence. There was ample proof that if given the opportunity, I would find a way to screw everything up. This did not change simply because I stopped drinking and using. However, the longer I stayed clean and sober and the more I used the tools of the program, the more I was able to begin to make rational healthy choices in my life.
At first my self-confidence remained very low, but the program gave me something else to rely on. I could rely on the people I saw at meetings. I could rely on a Higher Power. I could rely on the steps. Today I still rely heavily on each of these supports, but I also have developed a healthy ability to make good decisions again. I found out that I am not a loser; I simply behaved like one when I was drinking and using drugs. I have learned that I no longer need to self-destruct and screw up my life. I can believe in myself again, and I can trust my gut. I do not rely solely on myself as this would be foolish, but I can now make an informed decision on when to trust my gut and when I need to ask for help. Am I regaining self-confidence?
Meditations for the Heart
In my addiction my gut was constantly tossing and turning. My anxiety would increase when I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but I would not listen to my gut. Instead I would listen to my disease, which talked to me in ways that were impossible to resist. “Go ahead; no one will know,” it would say to me. “Just one more; it’s okay; you can handle it.” Addiction has many different voices and has a way of screaming louder so that I could hear no other voice. In recovery I have learned to listen to other voices - the voice of my sponsor, the voice of my Higher Power, the voice of the person sitting across from me at a meeting and the voice of my gut. When my gut begins to toss and turn now, I listen to what it has to say. It gives me the clues I need about what may be bothering me. Have I learned to listen to other voices in my recovery?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Recovery has provided me with many blessings. I am truly grateful that my gut does not always toss and turn anymore. I am also grateful for the times it does, because I now know that I need to listen to what my gut is telling me. I also know that when I can’t really understand what is being communicated to me, I simply need to ask for help and talk things through. Thank You for this blessing.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

July 27

Wisdom for Today
One thing I am very grateful to have lost in my recovery is the profound sense of inferiority I carried inside. I constantly walked around feeling like I was a loser and gave myself all kinds of self-talk messages to confirm this false belief. Day after day I would convince myself I was not good enough or talented enough. I would repeatedly tell myself not to even try something or attempt to better myself because I knew deep inside I was less than other people and didn't deserve to have a better life. My addiction seemed constantly to reinforce my own self-perception. In this state of mind it is easy to understand why it was so easy to slide into a pit of despair. I would spend days languishing in self-pity. I would avoid all responsibility and looked to blame others, including God, for my lowly status.
Recovery, being the wise teacher that it is, has changed this. I have found that I gain nothing from self-pity. I have learned to take responsibility for my own life and to be selfish with my recovery. I learned that I could quit running from life and could begin to embrace it. The program taught me about equality, and it taught me to be the best that I can be in my life. No longer do I feel like I am trapped in the prison that inferiority creates. Now I can feel positively about myself and about how I behave in my life. I am free to explore the very depths of who I am. This is the gift of the steps - to know one’s self and approve of one’s self. Do I know myself and like what I see?
Meditations for the Heart
Living in today is but a part of what I have learned in the program. I have also learned that it is just as important constantly to be reaching forward. I am forever reaching ahead and setting new goals for myself. Just as we move from one step to the next, we then learn that we are to practice what we have learned in all that we do. We reach out, we plan and we work toward new goals. We entrust the outcome of our efforts to our Higher Power. We develop faith that as we walk forward and reach out that God will lead us on the path to a stronger and better sobriety. We walk the walk, and He leads us on the path to a brighter tomorrow. Yes! There are struggles along the way, and there are pitfalls, but we hold onto the principles and our faith, and we find that progress occurs. Am I still reaching out while living in today?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You brighten my day, and You also challenge me to keep growing. You have provided me with a unique set of tools and friends to teach me how to use them. Let me reach forward in my recovery and accept the challenges as they come. Strengthen my faith in Your presence in my life.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 28

Wisdom for Today
I used to walk through life filled with one enormous negative attitude, but recovery has changed all that. No longer is there a big chip on my shoulder. No longer do I seek out what is negative about every situation I face. I didn't trust anyone. I thought that they all were liars and certainly were bad. I was projecting my own thoughts and feelings on to everyone I met. I looked for the ways people were two-faced and how they hid the truth about themselves, but it was really I who was hiding. Even when I went to church, I could see the hypocrisy of what people were doing, but I was the real hypocrite. This was my attitude toward life. Everything was negative; everything was bad; everything was wrong.
But I have developed a much more positive outlook in recovery. I no longer seek to be the judge and jury for the world. I don't even need to play judge with myself anymore. I am much more accepting of people and do not focus on their fallibility. I know we are all human, and we all make mistakes. I am much more forgiving than I ever was in my addiction. I try to walk into each day with a positive attitude. I seek out the good in others and in myself. I no longer perceive the world as a bad place. I see the good in the world and in God's plan for me in the world. I don't focus on what is wrong with the world, but look for the good in the world. Do I have a positive outlook now?
Meditations for the Heart
My Higher Power is my best companion. He walks with me every step I take. He is there to talk with on this journey called recovery. I know that I am working in concert with Him when I walk the path He lays before me. He does many things for me, and I do things for Him. When I reach out to others in need and offer my support or a helping hand, I work with and for my Higher Power. When I seek His guidance, strength or peace, He is right by my side and provides for my needs. What better friend could I have than this? When this relationship becomes real and close, my prayers find more and deeper meaning. I have clearer vision and can see how my prayers are indeed answered. Do I have a friend in my Higher Power?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You seek me out and walk with me as I follow this path. Give me a brighter vision so that I may focus on all that is right in the world. Help me to keep a positive outlook as I walk through my days. Help me to give freely what has been given to me. Let me walk through this day knowing that You are my friend.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

July 29

Wisdom for Today
I used to be so full of myself. Self-centeredness was a way of life. Today recovery has shown me how to be less self-centered. The world does not have to revolve around my desires and me. In the past all I cared about was myself and getting drunk or high. I didn't care about who I stepped on or hurt in the process. It was all about pleasure and feeding my desires. I cared more about my desires than I did anything else in my life. My family was not first. My job was not first. A relationship with God was not even in the picture. It was all about my way and control. Feeding my addiction was my priority.
Recovery has shown me a different way. It is no longer about me. Now I choose to live life the way my Higher Power wants me to lead my life. He helps me make better decisions and to value the things that are truly important. I have learned to care about others and consider their feelings. I have learned to seek out help from others, rather than rely solely on myself. Letting go of my self-centeredness has led me to a place of happiness. It has freed me from the bondage of desire. It has allowed me to walk away from isolation and into relationships with those I care about and love. The program has taught me to care less about my self-centered desires and more about others. Have I found a way to let go of my selfish, self-centered desires?
Meditations for the Heart
Life's problems happen all the time. There is little we can do to stop this fact. Yes, we can prevent some problems from occurring, and we can even minimize the severity of other ones, but the real challenge for the alcoholic or addict is how we view our problems. We can see the difficulties in life as a roadblock or deterrent to progress, or we can see these difficulties as a test of our spiritual strength and a chance to keep growing. No matter what the difficulty or setback, we can choose to see it as an opportunity to overcome adversity and a chance to meet the struggle head on. We can know in our heart that our Higher Power is beside us, encouraging us and leading us through these troubles. Most of my growth in recovery has come during these difficult times and challenges. Here is where my spirit is strengthened, and I am nourished with a greater appreciation of just how well the program can and does work. Do I see problems as opportunities?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You have freed me from the bondage of self-centeredness and shown me a new path. Let me walk forward and be willing to face any challenge or problem that arises knowing that You are with me in all that I face. Teach me to use these difficult times as an opportunity to grow more deeply in my spiritual life. Give me courage for this day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 30

Wisdom for Today
I am not the big story of the program. When I stop and consider all the people who walked this path before me, I realize that the real story is the program itself. Truly wonderful things have happened for me in recovery, but none of this would have been possible had it not been for all those who preceded me on this path. The founders of the program discovered what worked. They borrowed from sources such as medicine, religion and psychiatry. The founders began to share what worked for them with others and found even more help for themselves. Over the years different members have added more tools such as many of the sayings and slogans we hear at meetings.
All who have been successful will tell you that they found a spiritual base essential for the process to work. Each of us in recovery find that a relationship with a Power Greater than our self is needed to establish and maintain recovery. No, I am not the big story; it is the program. This same program has restored my self-respect. It has provided me with friends. It has given me a roadmap to follow. It has instructed me in ways I cannot fully describe here. I, like the founders, have discovered the value of helping others. All of this and more tell me that I am not that important. I am but one among many. Do I understand that it is the program and not myself that is most important?
Meditations for the Heart
As I look back over my life it is abundantly clear that everything, both good and bad, has happened for a reason. These reasons are not always immediately clear, but over time things begin to make sense. There has been a purpose for the tragedies as well as the victories. There has been a reason for the people I have met along the way. Most of all, it is clear that God has had a plan for my usefulness in the world. Life for me is like one large tapestry, and I am but one thread in this magnificent work. It is not until I gained some distance from the tapestry that I began to see the importance of each individual thread. I am a part of this magnificent whole. I know that God continues to weave me into this tapestry. Each and every event in my life is but a small part of the thread that is my life. Do I have the vision to see the great tapestry that God weaves?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You are the great weaver of my life. You show me where the tread of my life fits into this tapestry. Today let me open my life to Your hands and follow where I am led. Let me acknowledge the work that has already been accomplished by You in the lives of so many others in this program. For Your skillful hands I am grateful.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

July 31

Wisdom for Today
One thing I am very glad that I seem to have lost in recovery is my need to be critical. Early in my recovery process, I was very critical of others. I thought to myself, "How can a bunch of drunks help me?" I found myself putting people down, both in the program and outside of the program. I didn't understand for a long time that what I was really trying to do was build myself up by tearing down others. Fortunately, there were people in the program who taught me how to build myself up in healthy ways. I didn't have to tear down others to feel better about myself. I could begin to feel better about me if I started to make better decisions. I could feel better about me by learning to recognize the good things about me.
Name-calling is now a thing of the past for the most part. No, I am not perfect; there is still the occasional time when someone will cut me off in traffic and a few choice words emanate from my mouth. For the most part now, I can even choose not to open my mouth in these situations, even though I still have the thoughts. I am still working on those and probably will be for some time to come. But even here God reminds me to have a forgiving heart. He reminds me not to be critical of others until there is no more room for criticism of my behavior. The program teaches me how to live without needing to berate others. I can choose simply to feel good about what I do and leave the rest up to my Higher Power. Am I making progress in being less critical of others?
Meditations for the Heart
God can choose to help us with any of our problems if we only bring them to Him. For me this is often times the hard part, because it means that I actually have to admit that I still have problems. It also requires that I humble myself enough to ask for help with these problems. I can't even begin to tell you how many times, I get into a mindset that I can handle my problems on my own. While it is true that some minor issues I can indeed address on my own, there are still plenty of times that I need to ask for help. First, we must recognize our needs and our inability to meet all of them on our own. Next we learn that we need to carry these needs to God, as we understand Him, and ask for help. Finally, we need to become willing to accept the help that is offered. This too can be a problem, particularly if we do not like the kind of help that we are offered. God does not always build a wall for us, frequently He shows us how it is done. Am I willing to accept my need for help and reach out to get it?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In this day I will cross paths with many different people. Give me patience in my interactions with them. Teach me to be tolerant and understanding. Lead me to a place where I no longer need to put others down and can find healthy ways to build myself up. Let me walk through this day with a willing heart and risk asking for help whenever I need it.
Amen.