Today's Thought - December

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December 1

Carrying the Message

What we are always carries a stronger message than what we say. This is why we're sometimes turned off by people who seek to overwhelm us with charm. It's also why we can sometimes be drawn to people who are quiet and unassuming.

However it works, there is a powerful message in one's unspoken thoughts and feelings. We can usually sense, for example, the mood of people in a room, even when little is being said. If we spend any time with others, they will soon know much about us even if we say little.

This silent communication may be the great secret of AA's success in reaching those who still suffer. If we are living sober and want to help others, that's the message we give out. That's also a form of carrying the message.

I'll communicate today by maintaining a warm and friendly attitude toward every person I meet, knowing that thoughts and feelings speak louder than words.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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December 2

He that knew all that learning ever writ
Knew only this - that he knew nothing yet.
--Aphra Behn

It's true that the more information we have about the world, the more clearly we see the shape of what we don't know. It's also true that we don't need to learn anything at all in order to deal fairly with others and to walk gently in the world.

The wisdom that we need is inside us. Before our schooling teaches us to forget it, we know instinctively how to treat others because we know how we wish others to treat us, and we know that all people are one.

This primitive knowledge mustn't be buried under the classifications and analyses we pick up along the way. We can, if we try, de-school ourselves to the point where we can listen to our spirits, trust our bodies, and revere the world for the seamless whole it is.

If I cherish my original wisdom, then learning can help me to be comfortable in my ignorance.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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December 3

The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey

A man and his son headed to market with their donkey. A man on a horse passed them and asked, "Why aren't you riding your donkey?"

The man placed his son on the donkey, and they continued on their way. They passed by a family working in their fields. A young girl said. "Look at that lazy boy riding while his father is walking."

The man told his son to get off the donkey, and he climbed on. They passed a group of women and one said, "What a selfish man, making his son walk while he rides."

The man asked his son to climb up on the donkey with him. They passed a traveler on the road, who said, "That poor donkey is carrying too much weight."

Not knowing what to do, the man and his son began to carry the donkey. But the donkey kicked so violently they released their hold and the donkey ran away.

The Moral of the story: In striving to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

Striving to be a people-pleaser can make you feel as if what you are doing is never right, and you lose your ability to make your own decision.

I will choose to do what is right for me.

You are reading from the book:

Morning Light by Amy E. Dean

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December 4

Our silence can keep us isolated.

"Still waters run deep" may be true for lakes and rivers, but in intimate relationships it is not necessarily true. Our silence can keep us isolated from ourselves and from those we love. In order to grow together, we must let each other know how we think and feel. Sometimes just saying a thought or feeling helps us see beyond it.

If we keep our thoughts to ourselves, we may get so immersed in those still waters that we nearly drown in them. A problem kept to ourselves usually grows bigger and more consuming. When we talk about it, we can work through it and move on to something else.

Choose, one concern, small or large, and express it to your partner.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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December 5

Recovery releases our creativity

Creativity implies something new - feeling, thinking, acting in a new way. When we step out of a familiar pattern, we often feel anxious. We wonder if the new way will work or if a new venture will succeed. We take a chance, a risk, and that requires courage.

If we refuse to tolerate a certain amount of anxiety, we will stay in our same old ruts. Safe? Perhaps, but stagnant. And maybe not so safe after all, since the opposite of growth is death.

You and I can live creatively if we are willing to have butterflies in our stomachs from time to time. Recovery releases us from old patterns so that we can try new ways of responding to the opportunities we are given each day. Believing we are supported by a Higher Power gives us the courage to take risks, especially when the outcome promises emotional and spiritual growth.

Today, I will dare to follow a creative inner prompting, even if I feel some anxiety.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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December 6

Sometimes two minuses make a plus.
--Edith Shannon

What appears to be a problem sometimes turns out to be a most beneficial circumstance. We live only in the present, and it generally takes the perspective of hindsight to get the full meaning of an event. Over the years, we have learned that some of our best lessons actually caused us pain while we were in their clutches. What a relief to be able to see, now, that they had their silver lining. This principle still holds true.

We have had a lot of years to learn to take our experiences in stride, giving them no more weight than they deserve. But it's easy to forget that it's the accumulation of them all that defines who we are. The lost jobs, the friends who left, the hurdles in a marriage all played their part in the people we've become today. We are who we need to be right now.

I can't let a setback set me back today. I am evolving right on schedule.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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December 7

Serenity

Your body is tense. Your face is somber and serious, ready to deliver the news. You may be slightly breathless. There's a crisis. It may be real. Or it may be self-created.

Like an audience in a sports arena, we watch the events of life or even The Weather Channel drumming up reactive responses. Fear. Sometimes panic. Oh my God, what if.

I called my daughter in this frame of mind one morning, ready to report on the latest current event in my life. I barely had three words out of my mouth when she interrupted me. "You're talking in your drama-addiction tone."

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I've probably said this prayer out loud a thousand times, and silently twice that amount. It's called the Serenity Prayer, not the Courage Prayer, not the Wisdom Prayer. That is because, no matter what we're doing, before we receive courage or wisdom, serenity needs to come first.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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December 8

Laughter, by definition, is healthy.
--Doris Lessing

A hearty laugh can warm a cold room and make our spirits soar. But many of us are afraid to laugh, especially when we make mistakes. We think we're supposed to be perfect, and we don't allow ourselves to make mistakes. However, we're not a mold punched out by a machine. We're human beings, with all our wonderful flaws. It is those flaws that make our lives interesting and surprising. Who knows when we might accidentally bump into a chair or catch our sweater on a doorknob? We needn't feel self-conscious, it happens to many of us.

The ability to laugh at ourselves is a gift from God. All we need to do is grab it and use it. Then we will see how healthy and powerful laughter can be.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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December 9

It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security.
--Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Most of us are on a long uphill climb at this moment. It is a climb we are making together, and yet a climb we can't do for each other. I can reach out my hand to you, and you can grasp my hand in return. But my steps are my own, just as you, too, can only take one step at a time.

For brief periods we skip, even run, along the uphill path. The rocks and the occasional boulder momentarily trip us up. We need patience and trust that the summit is still achievable. We can help one another have patience. We can remind one another to trust.

We look back at the periods that devastated us so long ago. And now we are here. We have climbed this far. We are stronger, saner, and more secure. Each step makes easier the next step - each step puts us on more solid ground.

I may run into some rocks or even a boulder today. I have stepped around them in the past. I will do so again.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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December 10

We are what we are.
--Motto of Lake Wobegon, Garrison Keillor

Sometimes we devote so much effort to being what we are not, that we lose the chance to be what we are. We have one identity for this person and another for that one. Our co-workers, neighbors, friends, and family all expect different things of us, leaving us wondering who we actually are. How can we be so many different things to so many people?

God wants us to be only who we are. We were created with unique characteristics for a purpose, even if that purpose isn't always clear to us. We need to be who we really are, and to be the best we can be, knowing that God approves because God created us as we are.

I will be the best me that I know how to be.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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December 11

Relax enough to face reality when life twists and turns.

Sometimes in life, no matter how deeply we intend to make the best decisions possible for ourselves, things happen. Marriages end, jobs turn sour, friends wane. For reasons outside our control or understanding, the situation twists and turns into something other than what we bargained for.

Have you been waiting for a situation to revert to what it originally was - or what you hoped it would be when you got in? Are you telling yourself that there's something wrong with you, when the reality is, the situation has changed into something other than what you thought it was? Things often don't go as smoothly as we planned. Sometimes, we need to endure and get through the rough spots. But I'm talking about those grindingly difficult moments when life suddenly twists on us.

These are the times we need to quit torturing ourselves. Let go of what you thought would happen. If life has twisted on you, don't turn on yourself. Don't try to make things be the way they were. Come up to speed. Return to now. Let yourself accept the new situation at hand.

The road isn't always a straight course. Sometimes, even a path with heart unexpectedly twists and turns.

God, help me relax and trust my self enough to deal with reality, not my fantasy of what I hoped it would be.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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December 12

When all else fails, read the instructions.
--Agnes Alien

The instructions for recovery are in our Twelve Step program. Yet, there are times when we feel our program isn't working. At these times, we need to read the instructions.

Have you followed the "instructions," the wise words found in The Big Book, The Twelve and Twelve, and other recovery literature? When we do, we recover.

It's hard at times and easy at others. Our problems go deeper than just staying sober. No matter what our problems, our program can help us start fixing them if we follow the instructions. Don't use alcohol or other drugs. Go to meetings. Talk often with sponsors and program friends. Work the Steps. Think. Easy Does It. First Things First. Listen. Let Go and Let God. One Day at a Time.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, tell me which instructions to read today. If I'm headed for trouble, help me out.

Today's Action

I'll read the instructions today.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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December 13

Dare to be empty.
Dare to let go.
Dare to believe.
--Elisabeth L.

Not many of us have received a direct, visual experience of God. Most of us only sense a Presence, or perhaps see the evidence of God's help. It takes profound faith to live moment by moment in the knowledge that God is always here.

The founders of AA understood how difficult it is to believe. The tools of this program can help us with our struggle. In using them, we let God guide us, protect us, comfort us, and take charge of everyone else too. Asking sponsors for examples of how they have let go will help us see our opportunities more clearly. Coupling their suggestions and experiences with practice at using the Steps and slogans will strengthen our willingness to turn to God for everything.

I will be able to let God take charge if I rely on the example and experience of the friends I know I can trust. Today can be easy.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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December 14

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
--Will Rogers

It is a challenge to live in the present, but Step Ten gives us a way to do just that. It is a maintenance step, a way to stay true to ourselves. As we continue to take inventory of our attitudes and behavior, we find ourselves growing in self-acceptance and self-love. In the past, the last thing we wanted to do was be honest. Now, possessing serenity and faith, we can see that our shortcomings are only that: shortcomings. They are part of who we are, and every part of ourselves is important.

Taking a personal inventory is not a way to sit in judgment of ourselves. Rather, it enables us to examine our behavior with honesty and gentleness. It is an affirmation that growth is a process; we do it throughout our lives. Taking time for a personal inventory is a way to say that our needs are important, our good points are important, and our character defects are important. We are whole people, lovable just as we are.

I will take time for an inventory today. I will admit my wrongs, give myself credit for my accomplishments, and give the day to God with gratitude.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

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December 15

Being Before Doing

What we are comes before what we do. In order to produce good fruit, the tree has to be a good tree. If we are not whole, integrated, and in touch with ourselves and our Higher Power, the actions that we take will not be satisfying.

For us, being abstinent is more important than anything we do. When we are abstinent, all things are possible. We still have to make choices, deal with frustration and conflict, and accept some defeats, but we are coping with reality rather than escaping.

The best things that we do are those which our Higher Power does through us. Our role is to be ready and available, a sharpened tool which God may use. Often we do not see the ultimate results of our actions. We trust that what we do will be acceptable and according to God's will.

May I be what You intend.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

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December 16

Nothing happens unless first a dream.
--Carl Sandburg

What do we see when we daydream about the future? Is everything much better than it is now, or are we still struggling with the same issues? Are we dreaming about what we really want or about what we think we want? Do we see the whole picture or just a piece of it? Do our daydreams match our goals?

Actions we take today affect how we live tomorrow. If we know what we want -- if we listen to our heart's desire, write down our goals, and keep them in mind with every action we take --we create our dreams. We turn our wishes into goals and our goals into reality.

Today I will visualize the life I want.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

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December 17

Fulfillment

"Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything." Say it, until you believe it. Say it at the beginning of the day. Say it throughout the day.

Sometimes, it helps to know what we want and need. But if we don’t, we can trust that God does.

When we ask, trust, and believe that our needs will be met, our needs will be met. Sometimes God cares about the silliest little things, if we do.

Today, I will affirm that my needs will be met. I will affirm that God cares and is the Source of my supply. Then I will let go and see that what I have risked to believe is the truth.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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December 18

Competing with others - Attitude

Some of us never liked close competition. We preferred to be clear winners or not to compete at all. We didn't like to have competitors breathing down our necks.

This attitude kept up from doing our best, and we made a mistake when we thought we were competing with others. We're actually competing with ourselves at all times, trying to do better than we did yesterday. The presence of other people only helps us to set performance standards and goals.

Once we accept the idea of self-improvement, we can delight in competition. We can take satisfaction in situations where, though we were not number one, we came in a close second instead of a sullen last.

I'll know today that I'm always working with others but only competing against myself.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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December 19

Fortunate are the people whose roots are deep.
--Agnes Meyer

Deep roots offer strength and stability to an organism. They nourish it plentifully. They anchor it when the fierce winds blow. We each are offered the gifts of roots when we give ourselves fully to the program.

We are never going to face, alone, any difficult situation after discovering recovery. Never again need we make any decision in isolation. Help is constant. Guidance through companionship with others and our contacts with God will always be as close as our requests. The program anchors us; every prayer we make, every step we take, nourishes the roots we are developing.

Becoming rooted in the program, with daily attention to the nourishment we need, offers us sanity and hope. We discover that all things can be handled; no situation is too much for us. Strength, confidence, freedom from fear are the benefits of our deepening roots. We will be anchored if we do what needs to be done by us. The program's gifts are ours, only if we work the program.

I won't neglect my roots today. I will nourish them so they in turn can fill me up with confidence when my need is there.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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December 20

Every Christmas I hope for the best but expect the worst.
--Adult child group member

As bells ring out and carols echo everywhere, we should not be surprised if our spirits take a nosedive. It isn't that we don't understand the meaning of Christmas, or that we reject it, but rather that the idealized version of what Christmas should be has often times been denied us. We may come to resent the fact that all this good cheer seems to be for other people, not us.

Our experiences may have had little to do with family togetherness around a glowing fireplace, loving conversation, and delighted laughter. Such scenes feel like an affront if there has been no family closeness, perhaps no gifts, and little or no overt love. Of course it's wrenching when our own experience clashes so painfully with advertised reality!

But every day is a chance for new experience. We can choose today to create the good cheer that wasn't created for us. It's too late to change yesterday's disappointment, but, if we choose, we can make this holiday season the one we'll remember.

I have made a conscious decision to leave past Christmases in the past. Today, I will begin to plan a celebration.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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December 21

Goodwill

Have you ever envied someone else's good fortune? Consider the friend who calls with a different ring to her voice. Instead of sharing her troubles and woes, she proceeds to tell you good news. Something exciting, financially beneficial, glamorous, wonderful beyond belief has happened in her life. It's not a fantasy. It's one of those rare moments when a dream has come true.

That's wonderful, you may say, meaning every word. At first. Why her? You may later think. What about me? When am I going to get a break? As hard as we may try not to feel that way, a little jealousy, envy, and self-pity replace the joy we felt for our friend.

Most of us want other people to be successful and happy. We really do. That's not the problem. The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are.

Sometimes we know when we're envying and resenting others. Other times it's a subtle undercurrent that we're not aware of, but it invades our lives. It may only be a slight feeling of smugness when we hear that something unfortunate has happened to someone we perceive as being more fortunate than we are.

Goodwill isn't just the name of a secondhand store or a phrase used in songs during the holiday season. It's a particularly challenging value to practice.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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December 22

Live and let live is good advice.

The more comfortable we are with the knowledge that each of us has a unique journey to make, a specific purpose to fulfill, the easier it is to let other people live their own lives. When family members are in trouble with alcohol or other drugs, it's terribly difficult to let them have their own journey. Because we love them, we feel compelled to help them get clean and sober. In reality, all we can do is pray for their safety and well-being. Their recovery is up to them and their Higher Power.

For some of us it's a leap of faith to believe there really is a Divine plan of which we are all a part. And perhaps it's not even necessary to believe. But we'll find the hours of every day gentler if we accept that a Higher Power is watching over all of us.

Being able to let others live and learn their own lessons is one of our lessons. The more we master it, the more peaceful we'll be.

I have enough to do just living my life today. I can let others do what they must.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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December 23

Slow down and let go

On a road trip up the California coast a while back, I tried to call home only to find that the battery in my cell phone had died. I worried. What if someone needed to get in touch with me? What if there was a problem with the house? What if my family couldn't find me and got worried?

I passed the exit to the beach that I had always wanted to see.

I obsessed some more.

I stopped for breakfast at a restaurant overlooking the Pacific ocean. I asked if they had a pay phone. They didn't. I barely noticed the stunning view, the smell or the sound of the surf, and I can't remember eating my eggs and toast.

I put off seeing things until another trip; I took the freeway and got home early.

When I got home, there were no messages. No one had needed me; no one had even been aware that I was gone. But I had missed out on the treasures of the trip. I had spent so much time obsessing; I could barely remember where I'd been.

God, help me enjoy where I am right now.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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December 24

How we treat other people comes back to us – always.

Offering others understanding and compassion changes how we perceive the world around us on a daily basis. Our acts of love inspire love from others. What we send out to the people who share our path changes, ever so subtly, the complexion of each life we touch. In fact, the whole world is changed by even the tiniest of acts.

The simple truth is, our own attitudes often determine what kind of experiences we'll have. Anger and resentment won't bring us peace. Suspicion and accusation will backfire. Most of us have tried to control all the people and all the experiences in our lives. And we have failed. Now we are realizing that the love that comes back to us is the love that we express.

I will feel love today from at least one person if I offer it to many.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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December 25

Reflection for the Day

Today is a special day in more ways than one. It's a day that God has made, and I'm alive in God's world. I know that all things in my life this day are an expression of God's love – the fact that I'm alive, that I'm recovering, and that I'm able to feel the way I feel at this very instant. For me, this will be a day of gratitude. Am I deeply thankful for being a part of this special day, and for all my blessings?

Today I Pray

On this day of remembering God's gift, may I understand that giving and receiving are the same. Each is part of each. If I give, I receive the happiness of giving. If I receive, I give someone else that same happiness of giving. I pray that I may give myself – my love and my strengths – generously. May I also receive graciously the love and strength of others' selves. May God be our example.

Today I Will Remember

The magnitude of God's giving.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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December 26

Working today

As we approach a new year, many of us feel fear. We look back on the past and worry about the future. But if we remember we only have today, we can work to make that future better. We have found true friends in our fellowship, and this is a time to be with them.

Am I ensuring a fruitful future by working with all I've got today?

Higher Power, I pray for guidance for today and for freedom from worry about tomorrow.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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December 27

You saved me once, and what is given is always returned. We are in this life to help one another.
--Carlo Collodi, The Adventures of Pinocchio

As the end of this year approaches, we think about endings and beginnings. This past year brought us both difficulties and happiness, both pain and healing. It has been a year of growth because we are sober.

Let's think about the year that is ending and be thankful for its gifts. We need to take time to rest before the next year begins. We shouldn't worry about what the next year will bring. We can simply know that next year will bring us the chance to help other addicts who still suffer. We have been saved. We are living a new life. Let's be grateful, and let's plan to reach out next year to share the wealth of sobriety. After all, we are in this world to help one another.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, remind me each day that I am needed. By living well, staying sober, and helping others through the program of recovery, I am fulfilling an important purpose in life.

Today's Action

When did I last reach out to a newcomer in recovery? Today I will make a plan for how I will share my experience, strength, and hope through the next year to help save someone else's life.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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December 28

Taking the first step helps bridge the gulf between our dreams and our accomplishments.

Whether the project is cleaning the garage, building a cathedral, or recovering from an addiction, plans must be translated into action. In order to arrive at our destination, we must begin the trip. We can read hundreds of college catalogs, but it's when we register for a course, buy a textbook, and begin to study that we are on our way to a degree.

Two factors inhibit our beginning a project. The first is lack of clear motivation, and the second is fear of failure. If we don't really want to do something, it's hard to get started. So, if motivation is a problem, we may need to reconsider our choice of projects.

As for fear of failure, this may be something that we step over and around as we move forward. It is not a good reason for aborting a dream. If, in spite of fear of failure, we make a beginning, we will find that the fear shrinks with every step we take. Action is the catalyst. We learn how to do something by doing it.

I will take the first step toward accomplishing a dream today by getting started.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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December 29

You have to sniff out joy, keep your nose to the joy-trail.
--Buffy Sainte-Marie

Newcomer

I heard an old-timer say, "You can be right, or you can be happy." What does that mean? When something is wrong, am I supposed to deny what I can see with my own eyes?

Sponsor

This program saying is not meant to encourage stupidity or moral laziness. It's an affectionate way of suggesting that when we obsess about our own point of view or insist on having our own way, we may have our priorities mixed up. It suggests that we be open-minded and tolerant of people with whom we may disagree. It reminds us that self-will is not the path to serenity.

It also suggests that we have a choice about where to focus our mental energies. There is nothing wrong with having our own particular point of view and confidently and persuasively expressing it – that's part of our self-esteem. But we don't have to win arguments and attempt to force people and situations to conform to our own ideas. We can detach from the argument, instead of reacting. We can experience the peace that comes from letting go, as we cultivate mental relaxation and serenity as tools of our recovery.

Today, I don't have to be right. I'm happy, as I live and let live.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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December 30

I've shut the door on yesterday,
And thrown the key away.
Tomorrow holds no fears for me,
Since I have found today.
-- Vivian Yeiser Laramore

Feeling guilty or ashamed about the past - about what we did or did not do, about what happened to us, about who we were - can be our undoing. We must work long and hard in our recovery to work through these feelings, not to forget the past - for it informs all that we value in ourselves today - but to put the past into perspective.

After we've taken an inventory and grieved our losses we must forgive ourselves. In forgiving ourselves we can let go of the past and live in today.

With our program of recovery, looking back is not as frightening as it once was. And today we do not have to bear what we find alone.

A new year, a new life, can be ours. Love and friendship, support and spiritual growth are waiting for us today. Our yesterdays are over, and we can look to the future with joy and anticipation.

Today help me forgive myself for what's past and learn to have faith in Your plan for me.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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December 31

May you live all the days of your life.
--Jonathan Swift

Tonight, at midnight, a new year will begin. None of us know what the new year will hold. But we can trust ourselves to hold on to the spirit of recovery as we go through the year. As a new year is about to begin, we can rejoice in our new way of life. We can give our will and our life to our Higher Power. By doing these things, we'll be ready for the new year.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I pray that I'll start the new year safe in Your loving arms, I pray that I'll keep working my program.

Action for the Day

Tonight, at midnight, I'll say the Serenity Prayer. I will think of all the others who will join me in my prayer. We are a recovering community.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous