Today's Thought - August

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August 1

Love is an expression and assertion of self-esteem. . . .
--Ayn Rand

How easily we love others when we feel self-assured, when we're comfortable in our chosen work, with our families and friends, with our directions in life. But the way isn't always smooth, nor should it be, and for this we can thank God, our protector and mentor.

The challenges of a rough passage confront us when it's time to grow. Seldom do we cherish the growing, and yet the gifts promised by these challenges - the increased self-awareness, the heightened sensitivity to others, the greater humility - make every moment that lies ahead profoundly more personal.

Hindsight is convincing. The paradox is that the more we trip, but pick ourselves up and move ahead with determination, the more self-assured and thus loving we'll become.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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August 2

Struggling alone

Each of us is a struggling soul. We had to struggle with our addictions for some time before we found this program, and eventually each struggling soul must face the realities of life. If we face the trials of life alone, we will fail.

But if we make our will one with our Higher Power in the Third Step, nothing will be too much to bear. After taking this Step, we will realize that we are one with God and that we don't have to struggle alone any longer.

Am I still struggling alone?

May I turn my will and my life over to my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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August 3

Successful Living

A speaker told us one day that people who can't manage their time also have difficulty handling their money. We have even heard that "time is money."

Without becoming misers or scrooges, we have a responsibility to use time wisely - other people's time as well as our own. Many people who believe they are moral and upright are so careless about keeping appointments and dates that they force others to wait. This is essentially stealing another's time.

Being prompt and managing all of our time well is part of mature living. It's part of being a responsible, grown-up, caring person. If we've been guilty of poor management of our own time, we've probably been wasting other people's time as well.

I'll be careful and prompt in all appointments today. I'll not waste others' time by being late.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

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August 4

The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves they find their own order.
--Eudora Welty

We will experience no coincidence today. All situations that transpire in the next 24 hours have their purpose. No single event, not the tired, hurried smile from a boss, the phone call from a frantic friend, or the cold response from a co-worker is without impact on our current perception of life. However, we shouldn't try to evaluate the full significance of any passing event without God's help. Letting our Higher Power offer us clarity regarding the circumstances in our life will ensure a healthy perspective.

We've all experienced trauma because we exaggerated a problem rather than calmly let our inner wisdom guide us. We're only an impulsive thought away from a flurry of problems. Likewise, we're only an instant away from peace and enlightenment. The quiet mind will be ever present if that's our wish.

I'll truly understand the events of today if I quietly let God reveal their significance.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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August 5

Self-Acceptance and Self-Knowledge

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

And wisdom to know the difference.

This well-known prayer expresses some key guidelines to our philosophy of living. One group member explained it this way:

“For me, the things I cannot change are other people, places, and circumstances. The only things I can change are my attitudes, reactions and action toward the people, places and circumstances in my life.

“The wisdom to know the difference, well, that’s a hard one. I don’t always know what I can and cannot change until I try changing it. Wisdom comes by trial and error. The more experience I have, the more understanding, knowledge, and wisdom I have.”

Today I will accept that much of my wisdom can only come through my daily experiences. I need to expect to make some mistakes in my attitudes, actions, and judgment of what I can and cannot change. I will learn to be patient with myself and others as I gain more understanding from my mistakes.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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August 6

If an idea, I reasoned, were really a valuable one, there must be some way of realizing it.
--Elizabeth Blackwell

These words were written by the first woman who earned a medical degree. They're useful to anyone who fears that their most precious dreams are doomed to failure.

If our dreams are valuable ideas, they will be useful goals. If they're childish fantasies, they won't, although those can be fun. It's important to distinguish the ones we can achieve from the ones we can't. The first kind will nourish us, like bread; the others, like candy, won't.

We have a responsibility to those nourishing dreams, because they come from what's best in us. Our responsibility is to live so that the dream might be realized. When dreams become goals, they have a way of calling us forth. Goals organize our lives, so that we may reach them.

Reaching my goal is never as important as the progress I make.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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August 7

I love being able to say, "I was wrong," or "I made a mistake," and not feel like it's the end of the world.
--Carol C.

Before recovery, we felt so guilt-ridden we couldn't bear to admit we were less than perfect. Since our insides seemed so awful, we clung to an outside appearance of perfection. That way, we hoped people wouldn't find out what we were really like. But we fooled no one, not even ourselves, for very long.

In recovery, we have a chance to change that pattern. Now, we can learn to admit our limitations, our mistakes, and our imperfections. What a wonderful relief, not to have to be perfect. We can be just who we are - very human beings who are groping toward the light. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we lose our way, but still we strive onward. And, in the process, we find ourselves, and serenity.

Today help me keep working toward perfection, but forgive my mistakes along the way.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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August 8

Fame is what you have taken. Character is what you give. When to this truth you waken, then you begin to live.
--Bayard Taylor

Long-timers continually tell newcomers to strive to build a strong character for use in facing the world's realities. Sometimes they leave the impression that character is what others think about us. But the opinion others have about us is not important. Character is what we are, not what others think we are.

We are not born with character. It is developed through patience and much humility. It is what we are in the dark. Our character is revealed by an outer show of an inner glow. It is our reserve force for living. It is more useful than talent and shows itself best during our contact with others.

Today, I'll remember my character can be a force that respects truth, develops will and spirit, accents positive action, and makes all of these assets evident to other people.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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August 9

Reflection for the Day

Just for today, I'll not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless fears, I'll track them down and expose their unreality. I'll remind myself that God is in charge of me and my life, and that all I have to do is accept God's protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me today. Do I accept the fact that it's in my power to make today a good one just by the way I think about it and what I do about it?

Today I Pray

May I make today a good day. May I know that it is up to me to assign to it qualities of goodness through a positive attitude toward what the present is providing. May I be untroubled by vestiges of yesterday. Please, God, remain close to me all through this day.

Today I Will Remember

To make it good.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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August 10

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
--Maya Angelou

Some days we grasp at self-pity like a blanket on a cold night, and we are momentarily comforted. However, extended periods of self-pity will undermine our primary purpose, which is to be at peace with ourselves and others so that we may know freedom from our addictions. Thus our self-pity prevents us from carrying a message of hope to fellow sufferers, that they too can find release from their suffering through the Twelve Steps.

Staying clean and sober are gifts available to all of us when we cultivate gratitude. We can be grateful for this program that has brought manageability and serenity to our life, and that leaves us little room for self-pity, anger, or impatience. Our mind will be willing and open to receive God's guidance and support when we let go of our self-pity.

Today I will stay free of self-pity so I can receive God's strength.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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August 11

The creative thinker is flexible and adaptable and prepared to rearrange his thinking.
--A.J. Cropley

Newcomer

I'm in a crisis. I got myself into it -- there's no one else to blame. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it yet; I'm going back and forth over the alternatives. I can't think about anything else right now.

Sponsor

Your word "alternatives" is a helpful one. In most situations, we have more options to choose from than we can see at first. There usually is a "Plan B" if we're willing to open ourselves to it.

When I was active in my addiction - and for a period of time in recovery as well - I frequently found myself in the middle of a crisis. The sense of always being in crisis comes from a refusal to see that we have choices. For example, we may leave on time for an appointment but find ourselves in a traffic jam cause by an accident. If lateness is the inevitable result, we can choose to punish ourselves with whatever lateness represents to us, or we can say to ourselves, "I guess the schedule I had in mind for today has been changed; I may as well accept it." Without the additional burden of self-punishment, we can see things in perspective. Whatever happens, we don't pick up our addictive substance or behavior. We can turn to our Higher Power in prayer and meditation to help us regain a sense of balance.

Today, I'm open to choosing among alternatives as I substitute the word "situation" for the word "problem."

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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August 11

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
--Step Three of Alcoholics Anonymous

Let's cut right to the heart of the matter: We get in trouble if we try to run our own lives. Our ego starts to mess things up. We try to control things we can't control. We think we are smarter than we are. We start to think we can run things just fine by ourselves. What's the end product? We end up alone – spiritually and sometimes physically – and in trouble.

What we need to do is let the care of our Higher Power run our life. We can use care as a guide because care is what a Higher Power is all about. When we put care into action, we get healing love as a result. So let's put our egos aside and ask our Higher Power to help us do the next right thing.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I've made a decision. I am yours to do with as You want. I know that You will guide my life with care.

Today's Action

I will write down one way that I can be caring to others and myself today. Acting from care is acting for my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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August 13

Daily our spirits are renewed.

For most of us, a spiritual awakening does not come once and for all. Instead, we have small flashes of insight here and there, and every once in a while we look back and realize with gratitude how the promises of the program have been coming true for us.

Just as our bodies need daily nourishment, so do our spirits. We can seek people and experiences that leave us feeling warm and uplifted. We can take time each day to become quiet in mind and body so that we hear the inner messages that refresh our spirits. We can read something inspirational, listen to good music, look at a beautiful painting or a sunset, grasp a friend's hand in understanding, and say a prayer.

Our spirits bounce back from hurt and depression. They are more easily renewed when we take proper care of our bodies, since we are a total entity of heart, mind, body, and spirit.

Today, I will look for ways to feed my spirit.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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August 14

Stop expecting too much from yourself.
--Anonymous

When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can't improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.

What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.

We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.

Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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August 15

The best leaders are those who know how to follow.
--Anonymous

Am I a leader or a follower? The fact is, I am responsible for where I end up. If I choose to be a follower, I'd better follow leaders who know where they're going. And I had better know where they're going.

If I choose to be a leader, I'd better know that I'm responsible for getting myself on the right path. I also must be honest with my followers, so they can make good choices. I'm not responsible for my followers' choices, but I must give them the truth. Being a leader doesn't always mean I know where I'll end up. But it can mean that I know I'm on the right path, following the lead from my Higher Power - one step at a time.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, give me the faith and courage to choose good leaders to follow. When it is Your will, help me be a good leader.

Action for the Day

Today I'll list my leaders. They might be a Higher Power, a sponsor, or a friend. I'll think of why I choose to follow these leaders.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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August 16

Imagine living in your head, untrue to your heart.
Imagine the pain of separation.
Imagine the depth of the longing for peace.
--G. Carol

Before finding recovery as a way of life, many of us barely hung on from one pain-filled moment to another. We incessantly tried to figure out what was wrong with our lives. We feared everything: our coworkers, our neighbors, the long days, the new experiences, the many strangers who crossed our paths. Miraculously, we were led to this program.

We can experience the joy of peace each time we remember to turn our will and lives over to the care of our loving God. To receive this goodness, we need only an open heart and a willingness to listen for the guidance of God. This guidance may come to us through a special passage in a book, the words of a friend, or in other ways. If we believe that the guidance will come, we will hear it.

I want to know God's will for me today. I will be attentive every moment.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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August 17

That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life.
--Garrison Keillor

Our problems with anger and our problems in relationships go hand in hand. Some of us have held back our anger, which led to resentment of our loved ones. Some of us have indulged our anger and become abusive. Some of us have been so frightened of anger that we closed off the dialogue in our relationships when angry feelings came out.

Some of us have wasted our energy by focusing anger on people who weren't really important to us. Do we truly want them to become so important? Yet, perhaps the important relationships got frozen because we weren't open and respectful with our anger. It isn't possible to be close to someone without being angry at times. We let our loved ones be part of our lives by feeling our anger when it is there and expressing it openly, directly, and respectfully to them - or by hearing them when they are angry. Then, with dialogue, we can let it go.

I will be aware of those people I am making important in my life and will grow in dealing with my anger.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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August 18

What is obvious to me is that we did not create ourselves... life is something inside of you. You did not create it. Once you understand that, you are in a spiritual realm.
--Virginia Satir

We do not belong to ourselves, but to the universe. No one planned to come into existence; we just happened to find ourselves here. We are the expressions of a life force whose beginnings are in the forgotten past. What does this mean on a practical level for how we will live today? For one thing, maybe we don't need to take ourselves so seriously. And we certainly are not to judge our existence. We have a right to be here, just as everyone does.

We can live this day fully and not hold ourselves back. We may work hard, play, and enjoy it. We need not rein in or attempt to control this force which so far exceeds our individual powers. Rather, today we can learn to flow with the current.

Today, may I remember my Higher Power is within every cell of my being, whether I notice it or not.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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August 19

Unconditional love corresponds to one of the deepest longings, not only of the child, but of every human being.
--Erich Fromm

Feeling the need to be perfect to ensure we'll be loved is as familiar as the robin's whistle heralding spring. Am I too fat to be loved? Do people think I'm dumb when I speak out? Mistakenly, we feel unique in our struggles with our fears of inadequacy, thus we fail to find comfort among friends and strangers who share our selected fears.

If we could understand our sameness with others, we'd be able to feel the gentle urging within to acknowledge their presence, their smiles, and their messages, which are assuredly meant for our ears only. Their desire, like our own, is for the promise of love.

Unconditional love wants expression; pass it around and watch it return tenfold.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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August 20

We believe in Human Ecology, the understanding and care of human beings as whole persons in light of their relationship to God, themselves, their families, and the society in which they live.
--The Philosophy of Human Ecology

The philosophy of Human Ecology covers all three aspects of our recovery: body, mind, and spirit.

We know that taking care of our bodies is essential to recovery. That means eating properly, exercising as much as we can, and not abusing ourselves physically.

Taking care of our minds is also important. We are trying to make choices that enhance our recovery, not diminish it. This includes the things we read, watch, and listen to. We seek out education and positive affirmation. We go to meetings. We gather with others who share our vision.

Spirituality is the common thread through all of this, for without it we are lost. Our spiritual search is our effort to improve our conscious contact with God. Through this search comes harmony of body, mind, and spirit.

Today let me remember the principles of Human Ecology. They provide a simple reminder of where I've been and where I am going.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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August 21

Seeking growth

We are where we are for a reason. As long as that reason remains, we remain where we are. If we aren't where we think we should be, working the program will help us get to where our deepest self longs to be. This is growth.

And growth is work. We must be willing to do the simple things that our new understanding asks of us. We are never given more than we can handle, and the loving help we need along the way is always available. But we never get this help in advance, only as we need it.

Am I seeking growth?

Higher Power, help me want to grow and be willing to do the simple things, day by day, that add up to big changes.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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August 22

I have one request: may I never use my reason against truth.
--Elie Wiesel

Honesty with ourselves is a great asset in every situation we confront. The skill to look reality square in the face and call it what it is takes us a good distance toward coping with it. However, many of us also have the skill to spin or rationalize our actions so that we don't have to face something unpleasant. That skill provides us with excuses and evasions but it is the greatest betrayal of our selves. When we use our brain to cleverly cover the truth of our actions, we often believe our own lies, and then we're incapable of rectifying them.

Just as dishonesty builds and grows on itself, so does honesty. We cannot one day decide to be honest and change in a flash because we don't see all of our self-deceit yet. But we can make the decision to be as honest as we know how. Then we will soon be surprised by how much is revealed to us as the fog of our self-deceit lifts and our honesty builds upon itself.

Today I will strive to see reality as it is and not shape it to suit my ego's desires.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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August 23

As the twig is bent, the tree inclines.

A positive self-image is critical to our recovery. Why? Because it is the glasses through which we look, the gloves with which we touch, the door by which we enter into a relationship with life. Self-image is not who we really are, but a combination of what we wish we were, who we're afraid we are, and who we imagine other people think we are.

We act out in detail the role we've assigned ourselves in this world. That role, our self-image, works like a key that either fits or doesn't fit a world full of locked doors. Different keys open different doors. And some doors lead to bad places, as we all know. It isn't easy to change keys, but it is infinitely worth it. One reason is that we always pass our self-image on to our children; they know us too well to be fooled. If we want our children to walk tall, laugh happily, and sing joyously - we ourselves must do these things for them to see.

Today, I pray for the courage to challenge my tendency to discount myself. All my strong points will be very clear to me today.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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August 24

When folks have allotted themselves a task and work together in unison, they escape unhappiness.
--Emile Zola

We may have been loners in the past, preferring solitude to the company of others. We may have spent time as children buried in books instead of outside playing with other children. We may have endured high school without lots of dates. We may now feel more comfortable with people in one on one situations rather than in large groups.

A meeting is an ideal place to learn how to interact with others. We don't have to act a certain way or hide our feelings because our group will understand us no matter what. We can give as much as we choose and they will neither harm us, nor ask for more.

By attending meetings regularly, we'll learn they exist because people are working together in unison. Someone "opens up," others make coffee, one will chair and one will speak, and some will clean up at the end. We can learn that the strength of our group lies in the ability of each member to do what is comfortable for him or her. Such coexistence can help us learn we can gather strength from numbers.

I can do something to add to the strength of the group.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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August 25

If you want to change who you are, change what you do.

***

The Big Book is like a cookbook - you can read it all day long and starve. You have to take the action.

***

If you stay humble, you will not stumble.

***

Our neighbor's window looks much cleaner if we first wash our own.

***

Yesterday is a canceled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, today is cash in hand, spend it wisely.

You are reading from the book:

Keep Coming Back Gift Book by Meiji Stewart

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August 26

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
-- E. W. Howe

Do you let yourself be afraid of your illness? You'd better. Many of us were scared into sobriety. Often, a spiritual awakening directly follows a good scare. Fear seems to improve our vision.

Are you smart enough to run from your addiction? The First Step should create fear inside us. It's about looking honestly at our addiction and what would happen to us if we kept using. Looking at Step One regularly will give us the respectful fear we need to stay sober. Often fear is seen as bad, but it can be good, if we listen to it. It can be a great mover. When you're afraid, your spirit is trying to tell you something.

Prayer for the Day

God, direct my fear. Have me go to You, family, friends, and others who love me. Help me see my fear and listen to its message.

Action for the Day

I'll list five ways that my fear has taught me important lessons. I'll see that my fear can help me as long as I listen to it and not live in it.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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August 27

Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed the passage with you?
--Walt Whitman

Wouldn't it be grand if we could have everything our way! We'd have people at our beck and call. We'd never have to take responsibility for ourselves, never have to struggle for anything, and never be refused any wish or want.

But how would we mature? Learning involves gains based on the effort we expend. We learned early that we couldn't listen to a music box unless we wound it. We learned we couldn't get good grades unless we studied. And now we've learned we can't change our behaviors without working the program.

If we can't see the results of the energy we put into things, then our motivation, determination, and confidence can't grow. Some things will come easily, some won't. But the things we work on now will mean the most in the end.

I am not afraid to put energy into something I really want. I need to do this for my self-esteem.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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August 28

I grew up knowing I had to be a success for others.
--Sandy Warman

The pressure of performance is daunting and extremely stressful. Some, like Sandy, were controlled by it their whole lives. Perhaps that was your experience, too. Are you free of it now?

The desire to be successful never was a bad thing in and of itself. Teachers encouraged it right along with our parents. Employers reinforced the importance of being successful. But there is and always was a difference between enjoying a job done right and driving ourselves ragged to impress others. Sandy's experience reflects the latter.

Whatever reason we used for seeking success isn't all bad though. If it motivated us to stretch ourselves, it meant we discovered abilities we might not have known we were capable of. The contribution we made to the world around us was affected accordingly and that changed our lives forever. We can come to believe that however we lived our lives was simply as good as we were capable of. No matter what motivated us in the past, we can take charge of what motivates us now. Finally, that's all that really counts today.

Today I'll be aware of the motives behind my efforts. I don't have to impress anyone.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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August 29

Be grateful for where you are now.

"It doesn't take as much faith to believe that everything happens for a reason as it does to embrace the belief that I am who and where I am now, today, for a reason - even if I don't know what that reason is and even if I don't particularly like who or where I am today," a friend said to me.

"When I can take that in, my dissatisfaction and negativity disappear, and I can proceed calmly and gratefully with my life. To me," he said, "that's what spirituality is all about."

Faith and hope aren't just for the future. Try using them on today.

Could it be that you're who you are and where you are now for a reason? Thank God for your life, exactly as it is, right now.

God, give me enough faith to believe in today.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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August 30

Detachment doesn't mean denying compassion.

Approaching life with detachment may seem cold at first. We are accustomed to offering lots of help to other people. Thus the first few times we back off from what has become our natural inclination we feel uncomfortable.

Through this program we are learning so much about ourselves. For example, we never knew that we attained much of our worth from how we took care of others. Detachment doesn't mean we stop loving them. We are discovering that letting them be wholly in charge of themselves is really far more loving And it doesn't mean we can't have deep feelings of care and concern. We simply need to stop doing for others what they need to do for themselves.

I will evaluate my need for taking care of a friend's problem today. Letting others take care of themselves is far more loving.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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August 31

Be aware of wonder.
--Robert Fulghum

We have days when we experience the small coincidences in life - our car breaks down and we run into an old friend at the service station; we're thinking about someone and she calls just because we've been on her mind; we ask ourselves a question and the answer appears on the side of a bus or out of the mouth of a stranger at the bus stop. These serendipitous events usually leave us with at least a bit of awe.

The more serendipity we have in our life, the more spiritually connected we are. We're tuned in, attentive, aware, and detached. We're getting responses to questions and meeting the people we need to be with at just the right moments. We couldn't have planned it better. We couldn't have planned it at all.

Serendipity is a sign that we're letting the universe organize the events that lead to answered questions and fulfilled dreams. Life becomes a process of unraveling a mystery.

Today I will recognize the serendipity in the day's events.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova