Day 1

[1hope]

Hi my name is Melissa and today is day one of my road to recovery. April 13th 2013 my daughter was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia cancer she was 17. This is where my story starts. I've never been a drinker once and awhile but when my husband and I started our family I just didn't do it. I would like to say I don't even really have a problem now but I haven't been able to go a week without wanting to drink. Anyway after ten months of intense chemo treatment my daughter went into "maintenance" phase which is oral chemo and once a month infusions etc. This is when I started drinking. When my daughter went back to school I was alone and I finally felt the weight of all that had happened the last ten months hit me. At first I would drink whenever a child would pass that we knew. The hospital is a pediatric cancer center so it was a lot of children passing. Before I knew it I was drinking everyday...vodka. This soon became out of hand with my husband and his concern. I wouldn't drive and it became a problem not being able to do things for our other daughter then (15). So I quit drinking vodka and began drinking beer. I've been drinking consistently for a year now. That is where I am today. My daughter's don't like it at all and I want to be a good influence on them. I'm trying, I think I'm trying, but I don't know... if I was trying hard enough I could do it. I want to do it on my own. My husband is a good support but he also drinks beer every weekend so it's hard. He thinks I (we) should just drink on the weekends. But I want to quit completely I know how bad it is for my health and I want to be how I used to be, happy. So that's my story I joined this group so I could hear from others who have quit and give me hope & encouragement. Thanks for listening!

[MajestyJo]

Welcome to the site 1hope. Some times, we just don't metabolize and handle alcohol like other people do. For no other reason that we do have a disease. An allergy and an obsessive compulsive disorder that says we not only want more but need it too.

It isn't about being bad or good and being able to stop or should be able to stop, it is about an honest desire, and willing to do what it takes to stop. For me it was the spiritual aspect of AA. Finding a God of my understanding, not the God of the religion I was brought up with, who I still do believe in, but finding a personal connection and strength to a power that would empower me to quit, one day at a time.

I found that in the rooms of AA. Because I also suffered from chronic pain and was addicted to tranquilizers and Tyenol 3s, I went to NA and I have an eating disorder too. I was in two abusive marriages and both my parents qualified for 12 Step programs, my father died because of his alcoholism and my mother died at the age of 40 because of obesity and a heart attack. I have a son in active addiction, so I go to Al-Anon. The 12 Steps helped me not only helped me to stop drinking, but helped me to stay stopped and helped me heal from some of the issues as to why I picked up that drink and drug in the first place.

I hope you will continue to come, check out the material posted here and check out our daily readings. A drug is a drug, no matter what it is called. It is but a symptom of our disease. My problem was always me.

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[yukonm]

Welcome, Melissa. I am so glad that you found us. We are here to support and encourage you.

For me, I found that I could not control my drinking. Once I took the first drink it was all bets are off. I was a blackout drinker and would wind up doing and saying things I didn't remember.

I could go periods of time without taking a drink but once I put the glass to my mouth it was over. I never was a social drinker......I was a drunk. I am so grateful that I was introduced to AA. I have been given the tools to get through any situation without needing or wanting a drink.

I have been clean and sober since August 21, 2007. I wish you nothing but the best and am glad that you are here :)

[bluidkiti]

Hey Melissa, :17: I am so glad to have you join us here. I was like yukonm when it came to drinking. I was drunk before I took that first drink so to speak. My husband drinks also but he is not like me. He can take it or leave it. When he drinks it is only a couple - not like me. When I got sober, I got sober for me. You can do this for you one day at a time sometimes you have to break that down into minutes and seconds. You are not alone because we are all here for you. We can do this together one day at a time. I hope you will continue to come and share with us. If you haven't done so yet check out our Daily Check In forum where some of us check in daily here with each other. Also check out our Newcomers forum.

If you need help with anything or have any questions please let us know. We are all here for you. It is a brand new year for brand new beginnings. I look forward to getting to know you better. Please continue to come and share with us. Have a great Tuesday! :42: