Today's Thought - August

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August 1

The darkness was encumbering only because I relied upon my sight for everything I did, not knowing that another way was to let power be the guide.
--Carlos Castaneda

We don't need to be blind in order not to see. Remember how long it took for us to "see" our addictions? Remember how the blindfold of denial kept us from seeing the reality of our lives?

But it took a person or people to help us "see" our way into the program. And now that we are members, we still need others to guide us in our recovery. Sometimes pride gets in the way and tells us we can do it alone, yet those are the times when we stumble and fall. Perhaps today was a day when we refused the guidance of others. We may have felt we were strong enough to "go it alone." But we will feel the effects of such blind groupings if we don't remember that we need others.

Just as the blind person has a cane or a companion or an animal for guidance, so must we rely upon the power of the group and our Higher Power to help us "see" our way.

Have I been blind to the help offered by others? Can I ask for help to "see"?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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August 2

At 70, my dad is just like he was at 35 - only more so. It's frightening that the same thing could happen to me.
--Jerry Z.

More of the same gets more of the same. What we were given to practice, we practiced. What we practiced, we became. What we became, we are continuing to become - only more so - every day of our lives. We can do ourselves a favor by being aware of what we practice. Has the past taught us to withdraw? Think of how isolated we'll be twenty years from now! Have we practiced generalized distrust? Imagine how deep the roots of fear are growing.

But there's another side to that truth. If we practice finding beauty today, we'll find twice as much beauty tomorrow. If we work on forgiveness today, tomorrow we may be free of resentments. If we choose to relate rather than isolate, we can walk with friends through all the years that stretch before us. What will the future bring us? Whatever we have invested in it.

I pray for the wisdom to see my future as largely the work of my own hands and heart. I pray for the courage to take responsibility for choosing my own direction.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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August 3

The most important move is to begin.

We begin weaving by stringing vertical threads on a loom to form the foundation of a new cloth. Then horizontal threads are interlaced back and forth, and we create a fabric. As the cloth begins to form, new possibilities open before us. After we weave in the first color we can then envision other colors that will work with it. The most important move is to begin.

Sometimes new possibilities occur to us only through action. If we take the risk of the first step and keep our eyes open, we will see the next step. Too much planning, too much carefulness and analysis, may block all action.

With our partner we might sometimes feel stuck in a pattern. We may even feel hopeless. Rather than thinking excessively, we could take action, do one thing that we know people in good relationships do. We might be able to take the risk of that first step with the help of our Higher Power. When we take one hopeful step at a time, each step produces information that leads to the next.

Name one interesting thing you can do today. You need not justify it or understand where it will lead. Just try it.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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August 4

Whatever men attempt, they seem driven to overdo.
--Bernard Baruch

It's usually very difficult for us to bring balance into our lives. We may find it hard not to put in overtime at work. We may be obsessed about housework or yard work to the extent that we work long hours at it. Whatever we do, whatever we have, whatever we want, it's usually not enough for us.

Any activity or commitment needs a certain amount of time, concentration, and energy. But some of us may be too absorbed in physical fitness to notice we are always tense, always on the go. Some of us may be so obsessed with money that we take on additional work, not noticing we are often hard to get along with. Some of us may be so fascinated by a hobby that we ignore people in our lives who need our time and attention, too.

We need to recognize the obsessive areas of our lives and begin to make changes. It may mean assigning time limits to different activities. Or it may mean altering our schedules, even letting go of an activity. Now is the time to begin to bring balance into our lives, gently and gradually.

I know I need more balance in my life. What are some changes I can make to bring the scales more in balance?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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August 5

When they take your smile away they might just as well shoot you.
--Violet Hensley

Violet is one big smile. And it's not the result of having an easy life. On the contrary, she has worked doubly hard all her life to support her family. However, she has a joyful attitude, and it has made the difference in her life. Now in old age, she still works hard making fiddles for sale and performing music; but she loves every minute of life, and when you're with her, you love it too.

Why aren't we more like Violet? The answer always rests within us. We have decided how to respond to life's trials. We were never forced to dread, hate, or appreciate our experiences. We were, and still are, solely responsible for our interpretation. The Violets of the world opted to have more fun.

How do we begin having more fun? The first step is deciding to leave the past behind. No matter what our experiences were last year or in our childhood or even this morning, they don't have to determine what our experiences will be in this next hour. Having more fun is clearly a decision that is coupled with action. Any one of us can do it as well as we want to.

Smiling at myself in the mirror is good practice. Offering one to the first person I encounter strengthens my desire to offer more.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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August 6

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is the lightning that does the work.
--Mark Twain

Thunder demands our attention. From the ear-splitting boom overhead to the faint rumble in the distance, it is an impressive part of nature. Yet, it is the lightning that discharges electricity from one cloud to another, or to the earth.

We are sometimes like thunder. We may shout our intentions to family members, or quietly tell our dreams to friends. No matter how we say it, it is the ability to follow through that is most important. When we've completed what we've set out to do, we will feel a sense of satisfaction and energy. With this energy, and the knowledge we can finish what we set out to do, we will make our dreams come true.

What is left incomplete that I can finish today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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August 7

Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman.
--Vicki Baum

We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still.

Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invites death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell.

We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment.

We can serve one another best, never by commiserating with sadnesses, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continued growth.

Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten their vision of the future.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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August 8

Loving others begins with respect.

So many books have been written on how to love that many of us assume we don't know how and maybe will never learn. We can simplify the process, however, by focusing on the Golden Rule. For starters, we can treat others as respectfully as we'd like to be treated. People respond well to respect, and they often pay us respect in return.

Next, let's put the needs of at least one other person ahead of our own today. It's imperative that we do it willingly, not resentfully. We can ask God to help us. We'll discover an unexpected benefit; not being self-absorbed, for a change, is really quite refreshing.

Finally, we can ask God for freedom from the thinking that keeps us from loving others. Each person who enters our circle of experience today can be loved by us if we are willing to turn to God for help.

Loving others is easier if we keep it simple.

I will focus on courtesy today.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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August 9

All experience is an arch to build on.
-- Henry Brooks Adams

We can learn something from any experience, even one that is painful. In fact, we often learn more from painful experiences than from pleasant ones. When we say or do something foolish or hurtful that causes us embarrassment or guilt, pain gives us a reason to learn and behave differently next time. It may hurt to be arrested for drunk driving, but the pain of that experience may be the beginning of recovery for someone who is addicted.

We can't change the experiences we have, but we can learn from them. Our life is a gift that comes wrapped in what we experience each moment. When we accept this gift and open it willingly, no matter what the wrapping looks like, we put ourselves in a position to discover unexpected treasures. We live life to the fullest, and we learn who we are as we grow. In that way, all experience is positive in building our new lives.

Today let me learn something that will help me grow in wisdom and maturity.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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August 10

Changing

The old saying is true: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. It's the same with addiction and recovery. People can take away our drugs and put us in treatment, but no one can make us clean and sober.

When it hurts enough, when we're scared enough, when we're sick and tired enough, when we've lost enough, then we'll begin to change. But we have to want to change. It's the key.

What am I willing to do to recover?

Higher Power, help me to want what I need; to want what is best for me.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

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August 11

We honor the spirit in other people when we listen to them.

God's messages surround us. The 24 hours before us are special, never to be repeated. The people we share the day with carry our lessons within their words and actions. Let's be vigilant in our attempts to listen.

We have so much to learn, and that's why we're here. Our lives have purpose, even though we might fail to grasp it. Remembering that God is trying to reach us in even the most mundane of circumstances keeps us attentive to everyone in our lives. Our attention to others triggers their lessons too.

The cycle is never-ending. We are not here by accident - we are here by design. The role addiction plays in our lives is part of the design. We can learn our lessons and fulfill our purpose only by acknowledging the spirit, the presence of God, within each person God has ushered to us.

I will pay special attention to the people in my life today. It's a wonderful feeling knowing they are part of God's plan for me.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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August 12

God creates. People rearrange.
--Joseph Casey

Being alive is our invitation to act in fresh, inventive ways. All it takes is concentrating on our inner vision in combination with external reality. The components for accomplishing any task are at our fingertips, awaiting discovery.

Our burdens are lightened when we understand that all situations are resolvable — no mystery need leave us in the dark for long. Just as surely as we each exist, so exists every element we need to solve any problem or chart any new course. Our purpose in life is to select those elements that will satisfy the need. We each have been blessed with this capability for proper selection.

The day promises challenge and many choices. I can successfully handle all possibilities.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

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August 13

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Most of us make trouble for ourselves by over-reacting to what others say or do. We have conditioned ourselves to see everyone else as "the enemy" rather than look within ourselves for the real cause of our distress.

If we can pause long enough to uncover our own hidden discomfort and distorted attitudes before we react with harsh criticism or vindictive silence, we can change our destructive first impulses into a loving interchange between individuals.

Today let me not be quick to criticize or condemn another. I will look at others as friends, not as foes, on my journey toward self-discovery.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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August 14

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the act.
--William James

Step Two speaks of believing. For many years, we had given up believing in ourselves, in a Higher Power, and in others. Now our program tells us to believe in love. We are lovable, and we can love others without hurting them.

Of course, believing is an important part of recovery. To believe means to put aside our doubts. To believe means to have hope. Believing makes the road a little smoother. So, believing lets the healing happen a little faster.

All of this is how we get ready to let in the care of our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day

I pray for the courage to believe. I'll not let doubt into my heart. I can recover. I can give myself totally to this simple program.

Action for the Day

I'll list four times doubt got in my way. And I'll think of what I can do to not let that happen again.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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August 15

Each of my days are miracles. I won't waste my day; I won't throw away a miracle.
-- Kelley Vickstrom

It's so easy to forget to be grateful for our many blessings. We may take our freedom from the compulsion to drink or use for granted. Having learned to monitor our behavior and change it when necessary, we seldom treasure this skill as an asset.

The rut of complacency claims all of us at one time or another. And our complacency can lead us to the stinking thinking that's only a step away from drinking or using or some other compulsive behavior. Having sponsors point out our complacency may irritate us, but it may also save our lives.

Practicing gratitude will keep us aware of the small and large miracles that we have experienced on this recovery journey: We remember where we were last night (thanks to the clear vision of abstinence). We have reconciled with family members.

In fact, we are walking miracles, and God has a plan for the rest of our lives. Let's be ready for it.

I will try to be attentive to every moment of today, knowing that each experience is part of the miracle of my life.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

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August 16

Resolve to be thyself; and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery.
--Matthew Arnold

We all have known the braggarts, the boastful ones who constantly toot their own horns. These people crave approval because they don't yet approve of themselves. There are those who do the same thing but they're not so noisy about it. The girl who says she's ugly even though she's pretty, or the guy who says he's dumb even though he isn't. These are not humble people. They are people who need to learn to approve of themselves.

We don't have to be either of these people now. We can honestly look at ourselves and see our strengths and weaknesses for what they are. We don't have to put ourselves down today. Best of all, we can now accept compliments graciously.

Today I will make an effort to accept myself.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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August 17

I am responsible for myself, my recovery, my well-being, my happiness. All these things are, ultimately, my own responsibility.
--Anonymous

Our Higher Power does not lay claim to our free will. We can choose not to be responsible and make ourselves more miserable by going to new levels of despair and depression. Or we can seize every opportunity for a better life. We are responsible.

When we were newcomers and just getting started, we were generally very confused. We welcomed the support. Many of us were fed up with our lives and would have freely turned them in for a different model. But we learned to put into action what we were learning. We are responsible.

Our sponsors give us good advice and sound instructions. We can choose to listen to the advice or not. We are responsible.

Although we will always be dependent on God for our strength, it is up to us to ask God for that strength and do the necessary work to receive it. We are responsible.

Today, I'll remember my Higher Power has given me free will to accept or reject responsibility. My life is better when I act responsibly.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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August 18

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?

Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the "why's" of my blaming.

Today I Will Remember

Blame-saying is game-playing.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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August 19

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--The Serenity Prayer

Newcomer

What if the person to whom I'm trying to make amends is still too angry to accept my apology or doesn't want anything to do with me?

Sponsor

This is an important question. When we speak our amends aloud or write them in a letter, as long as we have acknowledged the harm we've done and are committed to doing things differently, then our amends are genuine and we've done our part.

One of the things over which we have no control is the way another person reacts to our amends. He or she may be understanding, even loving and generous, or may not be as ready to forgive us as we are to acknowledge the harm we've done. Hearing from us may revive old anger or pain. Some may think we're trying to get off easy. Our recovery itself may cause resentment.

In time, friends' or relatives' attitudes may change – or they may not. We can't force other human beings to forgive us or to want us in their lives, and we can't make things happen on our timetable.

Today, I do my part by taking appropriate actions; I turn over the results of those actions to my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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August 20

Moving Forward

Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them.

It doesn't help.

It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.

Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.

Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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August 21

I thank God for my handicaps for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God.
--Helen Keller

All of us have unique talents and gifts. No obstacle, be it physical, mental, or emotional, has the power to destroy our innate creative energies.

In order to tap our inner resources, we must first be willing to explore our interests and abilities. Then we need to make persistent efforts to acquire the necessary skills and knowledge which will help us achieve our highest potentials.

Helen Keller's life story is an excellent example of this kind of courage and persistence. With the help of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learned to speak and read. Because Helen did not allow her blindness and deafness to destroy her innate gifts, she inspired millions to challenge their own physical, mental, and emotional handicaps and limitations.

Today I will not allow my limitations to overwhelm me. I will see them as challenges that I and others can benefit from. I will acquire any new skills or information I need to make my limitations work for me, not against me.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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August 22

A man of courage is also full of faith.
-- Cicero

Faith and courage walk hand in hand. Courage empowers us to act in favor of what we believe, but cannot know. Courage is animated by the vision of faith. It doesn't take any faith to perform an action that doesn't require a risk. Only when the outcome is uncertain, and the effort itself a feat of daring, must faith and courage come on the scene together to get the job done.

To reach out to another, if we have known frequent rejection, is to act courageously in spite of an uncertain outcome. To stand firm in a decision, if we have always given in and given up, is to back our faith in a most daring and courageous way.

Many recovering people, who never think of themselves as spiritual, are excellent models of faith because they continually reach out for what is not common in their lives. Because they believe, they're willing and able to take the risk.

Today, I can do what I believe I can do.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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August 23

We learn to expect the unexpected.

Serenity and satisfaction come not when we achieve some measure of precarious temporary control, but when we learn to expect the unexpected. They come when we learn the art of responding to change and accommodating the ever-shifting circumstances of our lives.

We did not choose our journey before we were born. We did not choose the fact that this journey will end in death. Naturally we want to control what we can and our lives are better when we do so. But the best part of the adventure comes in taking what life brings to us and learning how to make it work. No amount of blaming, criticism, soul-searching, or grumpiness will ever unearth the reasons why changes happen.

Our relationship can be corroded by the acid of blame, but it becomes stronger when we join together as a team to cope with the events that shape our lives.

Tell your partner one event in your relationship that you did not welcome but that brought new growth.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

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August 24

The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness.
--Henry David Thoreau

Life's crises seem terrifying and endless when they are happening. As we reflect on these stressful periods, we begin to realize that they provide a chance for change and growth. We get a feeling of hope when we think back to past problems that seemed like mountains of despair at the time. Today, many of our mountains of fear are behind us. We have been able to climb these mountains in our lives even though we may have had to take different paths than we had planned.

Now we know that, with faith, we can meet every challenge — that we are given no obstacle we can't turn into an opportunity.

Today let me be willing to let my Higher Power lead me in an orderly direction.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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August 25

If you don't have any loyalty to what you are doing, you ought not be doing it.
-- Tom Harding

We understand loyalty to friends and family members, but does loyalty to an activity imply the same thing? To be loyal to an activity means to stick with it even when we hit the inherent snags. Let's consider a hobby for instance. Are we so frustrated when we can't track down a particular stamp or seem unable to complete the 5000 piece puzzle that we consider quitting the activity in disgust? If so, we probably lack the loyalty that Tom alludes to.

Each of us has to consider for ourselves whether or not we value this kind of loyalty when it comes to the "extracurriculars" in our lives. We're not failures if we decide to drop some hobby for another one. Sometimes we can't see that some interest doesn't fit us all that well until we get deep into it. What's more important is that we remain loyal to our values, whatever they are. When some activity loses its appeal, for any reason, and we continue to stay with it out of shame or embarrassment, we're not being loyal to that which is most important — ourselves.

Today, I'll ask myself if my hobbies suit my true interests.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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August 26

Mile by mile, life's a trial.
Yard by yard, it's not so hard.
Inch by inch, it's a cinch.
-- Proverb

An important key to progress on the path is to take it one step at a time. Just as investing a little on a regular basis builds long-term wealth, the little gains we make each day pay off in spiritual dividends. As a successful musical group explained, "We spent years preparing for our overnight success."

Taking it one step at a time means living in the present moment, letting life gradually reveal itself to us. Some people get nervous and want to know the final outcome. But how can we know an outcome that hasn't yet occurred? Trust in the process, and the perfect result will occur.

When our faith wavers, we often get ahead of ourselves and try to figure out what is going to happen. This "future tripping" removes us from our source of guidance in the present. Sometimes we try to hit it big in a hurry. But there is no fooling the Universe. Sooner or later we will have to go back and retrace the steps that we skipped. The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Whatever the goal or desire, approach it one step at a time. Small measures consistently taken guarantee progress. Eventually you will emerge victorious, having attained a reward that you have truly earned.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

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August 27

Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.
--Anne Frank

Anne Frank had good reason to be unhappy, full of fear, and deeply discouraged. Years of her life were spent in a small apartment hiding from the Nazis who wanted to destroy her and her family.

Yet even in this little hiding place she had happiness. It was something she had inside which did not depend on what happened around her. She had riches of the heart. She had faith that kept her going. She had love and concern for her family and others, which made even a restricted life very rich with feelings. It is tempting to believe that we will be happy when we have something outside ourselves, which will make us happy. But happiness is not something we have to find outside; the seeds are in our hearts already.

What happiness can I find in my latest setback?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

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August 28

Success can only be measured in terms of distance traveled.
--Mavis Gallant

We are forever moving from one experience to another, one challenge to another, and one relationship to another. Our ability to handle confidently all encounters is a gift of the program, and one that accompanies us throughout every day, providing we humbly express gratitude for it. Success is ours when we are grateful.

We are not standing still. No matter how uneventful our lives may seem, we are traveling toward our destiny, and all the thrills and tears, joys and sorrows, are contributing to the success of our trip. Every day, every step, we are succeeding.

We can reflect on yesterday, better yet, on last week or even last year. What were our problems? It's doubtful we can even remember them. We have put distance between them and us. They were handled in some manner. We have succeeded in getting free of them. We have succeeded in moving beyond them.

How far we have come! And we will keep right on traveling forward. As long as we rely on the program, we are assured of success.

I can do whatever I need to do today, with success, when I humbly accept the program's gifts.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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August 29

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.
--Sam Levenson

True intimacy introduces us to ourselves. A loving relationship is the greatest therapy. When we first fall in love, we are filled with optimism and the greatest hopes for fulfillment of our dreams. We cling to all the best qualities of the person we fall in love with and we look past those things we don't like. But living in an intimate partnership takes us beyond the edge of what we have learned. It is truly an adult developmental challenge.

Most of us fall in love and soon find ourselves in over our heads. We haven't had experience as adults in sustaining the openness and vulnerability we have walked into. We may gradually begin to feel too vulnerable and exposed. The relationship tests our ability to trust someone who has this much access to our inner self. We are tempted to become cranky, edgy, or overly sensitive. We may test our partner's love by asking, If you love me, will you do such and such? We begin to try to control our partner so we don't feel so vulnerable. All these temptations are holdover behaviors from our less mature selves. So we must reach for our more mature selves, breathe deeply, and trust that we can survive while being so close and vulnerable.

Today I will turn to my Higher Power for guidance in going forward, in trust while being vulnerable.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

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August 30

Defeat may serve as well as victory
To shake the soul and let the glory out.
--Edwin Markham

So life has given us some dents. So what? Dents are necessary, besides being unavoidable and painful. Each dent is a part of the process that enables us to embrace life as a creative experience and to see the world in a new way, a way of compassion and understanding. Recovery is not a matter of escaping further blows or of disguising the dents we already have. It's a matter of understanding what the dents mean and how we can work with them.

Dents are neither soft spots in our characters that should make us ashamed nor saber scars that should make us proud. They are simply evidence that we have been alive for a while. Recovery offers us the chance to learn from our dents, to accept them as new spaces for growth. When we decide to see our dents as opportunities gained rather than opportunities lost, we stand much taller in our own eyes and in the eyes of others.

Today, I will look on my difficult life experiences in a new light. Today, I will plant some seeds.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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August 31

Differences
. . . with no hidden cutting edge.

The respect and dignity a couple shows each other set the table from which they are nourished for all other activities in their lives. Any feeling can be expressed in respectful or disrespectful ways. Anger is one of the most difficult to express respectfully. Everyone feels frustrated and angry at times. The crucial thing to learn is how to be angry and still be respectful – how to deal with our impatience without blame or put-downs. Many of us have to learn how to love without being possessive, how to be playful in a lighthearted way with no hidden cutting edge. When we treat our partner with disrespect, we pour poison into our own well. It may feel satisfying at first, but the long-term consequences are not good to live with.

When we are committed to respect in our relationship, we continue to learn at even deeper levels what respect truly means. We find that simply listening to each other – and letting in our differences – is a form of respect that nourishes us.

Name a difference between you and your mate that you respect.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum