One Day At A Time - August

[yukonm]

August 1

THE PAST

“Our past is a story
existing only in our minds.
Look, analyze, understand, and forgive.
Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it.”
Marianne Williamson



Before I came into program I had the tendency to beat myself up over the things I'd done while in the throes of my disease. I would relive everything I'd done -- especially my misdeeds. Guilt ruled my life.

Then I found Twelve Steps that set me on the road to recovery. And I found promises ... promises that told me that if I were to rigorously and honestly work the program, I would find a new freedom and a new happiness. I was told that I would not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it, (as found on page 83 of the Big Book).

For me, the Big Book reminds me of where I came from and that I never want to go back. The Williamson quote (above) tells me that I don't need to wallow in the guilt of yesterday.

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember my past, release it and move on.

~ jar

[yukonm]

August 2

CONTROL

"I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle.
I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
Mother Teresa



There was a time when I asked God to handle only the impossible. How dare I ask someone as busy and important as God to help me with a simple thing like food? After all, this was just a matter of using a little will-power ... of pushing myself back from the table. Or so I had been told.

As I began to trust my Twelve Step program more and more, I found myself turning over to God the issues which triggered my compulsive eating. It was with great relief that I began to surrender my food and other problems to Him. It was with enormous gratitude that I realized what a gift it is to finally be able to give up control and put my life in my Higher Power's hands.

One Day at a Time . . .
I relinquish control of my food.
I relinquish control of people.
I relinquish control of my life.

~ Mari

[yukonm]

August 3

WORKING IT

“For the things we have to learn
before we can do them, we learn by doing them.”
Aristotle




When I walked into my first Twelve Step meeting I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I knew nothing about the program, the Steps, or how to work them. But I listened, asked questions, and I learned.

One of the most important lessons I learned was that I couldn't just sit around waiting for recovery to take place. I couldn't just ask God for help and do nothing else. I had to put feet to my prayers, as they say. I had to do something. So … slowly, with the help of my sponsor, I took the first Step. And then the second.

I found that I could talk a good game around program folks because I'd learned the lingo. But the saying, “you've got to walk the talk” tells me that I have to do it. I can't just speak my recovery into existence. I found I didn't have recovery until I began working the Steps. It was only when I started “the doing” that the real learning -- and the real recovery -- began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will take what I learn about recovery
and put it into practice ... I'll work the program.

~ jar

[MajestyJo]

Like this, it confirms my belief: "Take the words off the pages of the literature and the words you hear in the rooms of recovery, and apply them to your life. It means nothing if I know and don't acknowledge it, accept it, and take action.

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/mammals-cats/0108.gif

[yukonm]

August 4

OTHERS

"In the deepest part of a compulsive eater's soul ...
is the realization that recovery begins when we find one another."
Anonymous



Growing up in the deep South in the 1950's, I witnessed things I never dreamed could happen. It taught me lessons I have never forgotten. Little did I think that someone like me could ever be discriminated against. After all, I was the right color, the right size, the right religion and lived on the right side of town.

Messages began to be taped early on in that little girl's brain ... into the psyche of that teenager who worked so hard to achieve ... and into the young woman who had the world by the tail. In adulthood those messages began to play ... and food made the messages easier to hear. So began the life of a compulsive eater. So began discrimination because of my weight.

Years later I would be grateful for my life as an overweight adult. I would look back and see that the God of my understanding was preparing me to see discrimination as a disease of the soul. But what happened to give me serenity and peace and contentment? I found another compulsive eater. And then I found another ... and another. And recovery began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will overwrite those taped messages;
I will not regret the past;
And I will cherish my fellows forever.

~ Mari

[yukonm]

August 5

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit
must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain."
Kahlil Gibran


There was much to be unhappy about in my childhood. There was also a lot of unhappiness in my adult life. Until I found The Recovery Group online, that unhappiness was the driving force in my life. That force robbed me of the ability to see and enjoy the many wonderful things that I had experienced. I wore a cloak of sadness, bitterness and resentment ~ I had been short-changed. It was the old glass-half-empty, glass-half-full story....poor me.

Being able to share the pain and unhappiness I have known has freed me from the power it had over me. Clearing away the wreckage is enabling me to see my part in some of the unhappiness I've known. It has enabled me to see more clearly that there is so much for which I can be grateful. It has enabled me to see that I truly AM the person of value which I had represented myself to be towards others. I am integrating that person into the "unacceptable" being I carried within. I have seen others here endure challenge, pain and hardships with so much grace. I have learned that pain is, indeed, inevitable. I have the choice whether to dwell on the pain morbidly, or to instead focus on the joy of this day.

One day at a time...
I will live in the joy of this day and I will strive to share this wonderful gift of self-acceptance to others in program.


~ Karen A.

[yukonm]

August 6

SELF-ESTEEM

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt



I always used to feel “less than” everyone else, so I’d eat and feel even worse.
Without true love for myself I was dead in the water. I would compare the facts I knew about myself against the impression I had of you. I never seemed to measure up. Without self-love, I was unable to ask for, expect or accept love from others.

When I love myself and treat myself lovingly, it Doesn’t matter what others think of me; what matters is that I do not think less of myself.

One day at a time ...
I ask my Higher Power to show me little ways
to act lovingly toward myself and to know deep within
that I am worthy of being loved by others.

~ Melissa S.

[yukonm]

August 7

~ SERVICE ~

You cannot do a kindness too soon ...
because you never know how soon it will be too late.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



So many people in program sit silently in meetings because they don't think they have anything of importance to say. Perhaps they haven't been in program very long, and feel that, because they aren't a seasoned veteran, they haven't the right to speak up. But everyone's experiences and insights are different, and I would appreciate hearing from those who are quiet. They just might say something that will keep me from losing my serenity and abstinence. It would be a kindness for them to speak up.

I've had people tell me, "Oh, I can't pick up the phone and make an outreach call to someone I just met." To that I say, "Why not?" It would be a kindness to let someone know that you're there and you care about them.

Sometimes a person will say, "But I'm having a bad day myself; how can I offer hope to someone when I'm in such a shape?" It would be a kindness to share your struggle, for you would be giving others the chance to serve. I think it's as much a selfishness on our part to deny someone the opportunity to serve us as it is to deny our service to someone who is hurting.

Ours is a fatal disease. I don't want to risk missing the chance to serve someone who may not be with us tomorrow. I want to do that kindness today in case it's YOU who isn't here tomorrow. I hope you would do that kindness today in case it's ME who isn't here tomorrow.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will perform an act of kindness,
for I never know when I may forever lose that opportunity.

~ JAR ~

[yukonm]

August 8

~ HAPPINESS ~

Happiness is never something you get from other
people. The happiness you feel is in direct
proportion to the love you are able to give.
Oprah Winfrey



I learned a great lesson while grieving the loss of my three-year-old son. It was Christmas time. I had three other children who were looking forward to a wonderful day with all the trimmings, but my heart was despairing. I came to the realization that I could take the experience one moment at a time. Some of those moments would be very sad, but some of those little periods of time would be joyful. I found out that happiness is moments, not a state of being. We can take those joyful moments and treasure them until they accumulate into happiness. We have the choice to treasure them or to allow them to disappear in our lack of gratitude and appreciation.

Every day there is joy that we miss because we aren't looking for it. When I look back at the end of the day and add up the good moments, I often realize there is so much joy in my life. I learn to appreciate the little things.

That Christmas is remembered more for those little moments of joy. The love in my heart for the other children helped me to rise above the despair and reach out to give them a gift of happiness on that treasured holiday.

One day at a time...
I strive to see the good in each moment.

~ Dottie ~

[yukonm]

August 9

~ ANSWERS ~

There is no need to run outside
For better seeing,
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at the center of your being.

Lao Tzu



I always looked for answers outside of myself. I did not put the trust in my self and thought someone, anyone, always knew better than me. I believed the advertisements and compared myself to polished pictures of beautiful thin women.

As I recover from compulsive overeating, I am learning that all of the answers are inside of me. I need only to get quiet and listen to that still small voice. I pray that my Higher Power will give me the willingness to go inside where my truths lie.

One Day at a Time . . .
I look within and wait patiently ...
knowing the answers, however big or small,
are all within.

~ Melissa S. ~

[yukonm]

August 10

LOSS

“The act of giving something up is painful.
But as we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives,
we must continually give up parts of ourselves.
The only alternative is not to travel at all on the journey of life.”

M. Scott Peck



As I look back over my life, I can remember many losses. Some came about by death, some by the circumstances of life, and others by choices I made. All of my losses were painful, but only three were traumatic. Whenever I gave something up there was a period afterwards when my life wasn’t the same as it had been before. The amount of pain I experienced and the length of its duration were not contingent upon the seeming “severity” of the loss. Death was final, but not the most traumatic for me. Letting go of something takes many forms.

Though my most traumatic losses were those I experienced at the end of a relationship, there were other losses, too. I lost my youth and I mourned that. I lost a part of my life when a decades-long career gave way to retirement. I lost my role as mother when my children grew up and I found myself with an empty nest. I lost my identity when the disease I have had for a lifetime caused me to reach bottom and, in the process, took the “me who was” along with it. And I lost another part of myself when I accepted the reality of my marriage and let go of the storybook dreams I once had.

My Twelve Step program has enabled me to go through a mourning process for each loss I experienced. I have allowed myself to grieve and feel the feelings. And when all this was done, God’s grace allowed me to heal.


One day at a time ... I will learn from those things I had to give up ...
and I will continue my journey in serenity and peace.

~ Mari

[yukonm]

August 11

SELF-KNOWLEDGE

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking.
It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

Albert Einstein



The world I created before finding the Twelve Steps of recovery was a world in which I had no responsibility. Everything bad in my life was someone else’s fault: my parents’, my husband’s, society’s, and, when there was no one else to blame, it was God’s fault.


As I worked Step 4, I learned that I had been a part of all of these things for which I blamed others. I learned that I had defects of character that kept me from taking part in my life. As I recognized these defects, I asked my Higher Power to remove them, and that gradually happened.


One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well.


The promise the Big Book speaks of became true for me: I no longer regretted the past nor wished to shut the door on it. I was able to feel my hurt and grief. Now I am also able to feel love and happiness. I have learned how to change my thinking through the process of working these wonderful Steps.

One Day at a Time . . .
I do a daily 10th, 11th and 12th Step and am reminded that it is my responsibility to listen to my Higher Power and do my part in creating the world around me.

~ Nancy

[yukonm]

August 12

~ SAFETY NET ~

Leap, and the net will appear.

Julia Cameron


I’m an analyzer. Given the opportunity, I can analyze something to the point the original context has been lost. This was exactly what I did when I was first introduced to the Twelve Step recovery program. With each Step, I tried to discover a hidden meaning, an excuse not to work it. I spent more energy not doing the program than I ever would have following it.

When I finally made the leap into that first Step, my life began changing direction from the downward trend it was in. It was a leap of faith, and the net of my Higher Power caught me. This net will not break, nor will it fall. As I discover truths about myself that enable me to move forward in life and become a better person, I need the safety of that net of faith.

One Day at a Time . . .

I will take a leap of faith towards my recovery,
knowing I’ll be safe, and the miracle will happen.

~ Trish ~

[yukonm]

August 13

JOY

“Joy is not in things, it is in us.”

Richard Wagner


Growing up in a household of people in need of recovery, one of the things I learned early on is that things can bring happiness. None of us realized that the happiness was very temporary, never seeing us through what feeling we were wanting to stuff or what hurt hole deep inside us needed filling. I had so many feelings and so many holes inside me that I didn't have near enough money for the things I needed. What hurting 7-year old in a sick family does?

Given that, it seems natural that I turned to food to help fill holes. Just another "thing," but at least the fridge was always too full, and I didn't have to worry about the money aspect.

But things caused pain too. I learned that my parents gave more expensive and better things to those people they liked more and wanted to please. I was not one of those people; my brother was. I noted every gift and compared, and set myself up for more hurt that could only be soothed in the kitchen because I didn't know any other way.

The food "things" I ran to have caused less joy in my life than any of the things I've bought. I've been fat since I was four, torturing my body over the years by alternating starvation with massive bingeing and with purging. I was never good enough because I've never been thin enough except for that growth spurt when I was nine.

Then I found the Twelve Steps. As a result of working the Steps, I've found me. As a result of finding me and learning to fill hurtful holes by feeling rather than with things or food, I've truly found the joy that is in me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remind myself that things and food do not bring happiness; joy is within.

~ Rhonda H. ~

[yukonm]

August 14

~ LISTENING ~

I have learned silence from the talkative,
tolerance from the intolerant,
and kindness from the unkind.
I should not be ungrateful to those teachers.

Kahlil Gibran



Verbosity is one of my personal characteristics ... especially in my past. I remember so well discussions in which I found great joy in talking. I also remember my prayers to the God Of My Understanding in which I had a litany of things prayed for.

As I became more and more entrenched in my program, I noticed that I began to listen more and talk less. I also began to really hear what God was saying to me. Praying is our talking to God and meditating is listening to Him. So now meditation has became a way of life for me.

As I go through my life encountering the talkers of the world, I now try to listen to those who are silent but who have much to say. The loud voices of my past life were just loud. It is, however, the quiet, calm voices that have spoken to me in volumes.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will listen carefully to those who speak.
I will listen especially carefully if it's God who is speaking.

~ Mari ~

[MajestyJo]

When I came into recovery, if I talked no one could hear me. They got me talking and they couldn't shut me up.

Even here, when I sometimes feel like I am talking to myself, I can still carry on a conversation. ;) I am talking to you the visitors, not to myself.

http://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/images/smilies/61.gif

[yukonm]

August 15

LOVE

“Love conquers all things.
Let us, too, surrender to love.”
Virgil



Learning to love myself has been one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. I had to discover my capacity for self-care. I had to listen to the way I talked to myself and to learn to speak in more affirming ways. Learning to smile -- and then laugh -- when I made a mistake helped me to be less self-centered and more able to just have fun.

Life is a great experience when I surrender myself to the love around me. Expressing my love to others increases its quantity and quality inside of me. We all need to know that someone loves us and that we are lovable. Everyone needs to know that they are sufficient. I've discovered that as I give love to others, it is returned to me many times over.

One day at a time...
I will work at expressing unconditional love.


~ YAL

[yukonm]

August 16

Twelve Steps ~ Twelve Beautiful Gifts

“Each day provides its own gifts.”
Marcus Aurelius



For each step there is a principle. I believe that with each step I received a gift.

STEP ONE: We admitted we were powerless over food ~ that our lives had become unmanageable.
(I received a silver mirror that revealed reality and truth when I looked into it.)

STEP TWO: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
(I received a stone to put in my pocket. It had the word "hope" engraved on its face and was comforting in my hand when I held it.)

STEP THREE: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
(I received a pair of wings for my soul.)

STEP FOUR: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
(I received a candle to search out my hidden shame.)

STEP FIVE: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
(I received a beautiful note that said, "Welcome to the human race. We are so glad to have you back.")

STEP SIX: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
(I received a dove to put my burdens upon and set it free.)

STEP SEVEN: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
(I received a small box engraved with the words, "I will place my problems here.")

STEP EIGHT: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
(I received a map that led to the future.)

STEP NINE: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
(I received an eraser to correct the mistakes I had made.)

STEP TEN: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
(I received a scale to weigh and balance my actions ~ and to measure my growth.)

STEP ELEVEN: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
(I received a communication device able to span all doubt and prejudice.)

STEP TWELVE: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

One day at a time ...
The fountain I received bubbles eternal hope and new ideas. I will daily sooth my soul with gratitude.

~ Judy

[yukonm]

August 17

TRUST

" 'Come to the edge',"he said.
They said, 'We are afraid.'
'Come to the edge,' he said.
They came. He pushed them.
....and they flew."
Guillaume Apollinaire



Whenever things look bleak I remember how dark and dismal my life was before my Higher Power led me to this Twelve Step program. Before program I was afraid to reach for recovery. I was afraid to try to be an over-comer and I was afraid to come to the edge. But slowly I inched my way over to that edge and my Higher Power gave me a gentle nudge. I was flying! I wasn't chained by my disease anymore. I wasn't trapped in the darkness. I'd come into the light. That day I received a gift from my Higher Power ... I received a taste of recovery.

One day at a time ...
I come to the edge and trust my
Higher Power to give me wings to fly.

~ Jeff R.

[yukonm]

August 18

FEAR

“Some of your griefs you have cured
And the sharpest you still have survived ~
But what torments of pain you endured
From evils that never arrived.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson




As a compulsive overeater I have lived my life in fear. I feared the apparent cruelty of the surrounding world. I feared to challenge the unknown and chose instead to seek safety in familiar "surroundings." I was afraid to have ambition and dreams.

My whole life I've battled an increasing waistline. I realized that I was stagnate in a world of pain and darkness because my fears of responsibility as a "slim" person sabotaged my efforts to lose weight.

I’ve learned that worrying about a situation doesn't change the outcome! My fears simply prevented me from moving forward. They clouded the real issues and hid the answers to my problems. Instead of expending so much energy into worrying and fearing an event, I could put it to much better use by dealing with the present realities in my life.

Surviving a situation provides added armor for the next battle. Overcoming a fearful predicament puts confidence in my stride towards my next goal. Faith is the opposite of fear. Having faith in my choices, abilities and ambitions will provide the steadfast pathway ahead.

One Day at a Time . . .
I try to remember that fear and worry only serve to chain me to the present. Faith can break the shackles and enable me to walk on to where I was heading.

~ Nancy

[yukonm]

August 19

ANGER

“Anger is only one letter short of danger.”
Eleanor Roosevelt



Before I began to work the program anger was a dangerous emotion for me. Anger was my excuse to react negatively without thinking. I let anger cause me to judge others, say or do hurtful things, turn away from my Higher Power, and to overeat.

I came to realize that I felt angry even when there were other emotions brewing on a deeper level. I felt angry when I was actually feeling afraid, embarrassed, hurt, tired, forgetful, or stressed out. As I work the Twelve Steps, I welcome my Higher Power's guidance in feeling my true feelings; in accepting myself and the situations in my life; in acting on life -- rather than reacting; and in having the compassion to understand myself and others. By doing this I no longer fear anger and I no longer find it a danger in my life.

Turning to my Higher Power, I use the Serenity Prayer and the Twelve Steps to process anger in healthy ways. When I feel angry at myself, I give myself a break! I treat myself with kindness, acceptance and forgiveness.

One Day at a Time . . .
When I feel angry, I wait before I act.

~ Lynne

[yukonm]

August 20

AMENDS

“If you have behaved badly, repent;
make what amends you can and address yourself to the task
of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your
wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best
way of getting clean.”

Aldous Huxley



I grew up with high expectations of perfection and a constant feeling of failure. I seldom recognized truly bad behavior in myself, but instead I apologized for the things I had taken on as my responsibility that were not under my control. I apologized when the weather spoiled plans. I apologized for an adult family member’s poor behavior. I felt intense shame when I accidentally slipped and fell, sure that I'd embarrassed the people with me. Yet I was oblivious to how I snapped at people simply because I was in a HALTS (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick) place. My temper was quick to rise and explode, but I always told myself I had a “good” excuse or cause.

On the other hand, I could feel so mortified over my behavior that it haunted me night and day for weeks, and even months, after the incident; long after any witness could recall it. Years later a phrase would bring the memory back to the forefront and shame me all over again as though it had happened mere minutes before.

I couldn’t seem to find a truthful middle ground until I began working the Twelve Steps. In studying the Steps I learned how to uncover and acknowledge the wrongs for which I am sincerely responsible, how to make proper amends, and how to let go and move on.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that I am responsible only for my own behavior and actions. With the help of my Higher Power, I will acknowledge my wrongdoings quickly and make loving amends.

~ Rhonda H.

[yukonm]

August 21

~ I AM ~

"I yam what I yam."

Popeye, the Sailor Man



When did I start believing that being myself was bad? Was it the first time I did something 'wrong' in the eyes of an adult? Do I remember the day I went from being a bright-eyed child to a shadow of a being? Whenever it occurred, as time progressed, I began to trust that being myself was somehow shameful.

It's hardly a wonder that I turned to food and other addictions. After all, food never spoke badly of me, yet it did darken my spirit. Every compulsive bite dampened my light.

Thank God for this program! It has taught me that those people of my past, however well-meaning, were wrong. Being me is good. In fact, it's better than good. It's wonderful! Without me, this world would be a little darker, a little more lost. That is why I am here, why God created me, to be a light for the world.

One Day at a Time . . .
I realize that it is through God and this fellowship that I am able to shine.

~Debbie~

[yukonm]

August 22

PREPARING

"Failing to prepare is preparing to fail."
John Wooden


Every morning I make a decision. I decide to prepare for a day of recovery, or I decide to not prepare for a day of recovery. It comes as no surprise that on the days I prepare I do better.

I have to take responsibility for my decisions, even my indecision. If I do nothing to help myself today, I have no one to blame but myself. If nothing else, I can take five minutes in the morning to invite my Higher Power into my life.

One day at a time...
I will prepare for a good day today. I will take responsibility for my recovery.


~ Q

[MajestyJo]

Like the post for August 21, it has been 23 years of living one day at a time. It isn't my thoughts, it may be my interpretation of what I heard, it may be my perception of what I heard, and I have been known to bend things a little bit so they fit me. It is the people in the many meetings that I went to, the people I have shared with, and having a little talk to my God, often several times a day.

You are one of those special people my friend, thanks for being a part of my recovery. I am glad that we share the same recovery date.

http://angelwinks.net/images/generalpod/generalpod1110.jpg

[yukonm]

MJ,

I'm glad that we share the same date!! I don't think I knew that before now. This recovery journey has definitely been an adventure!! Thanks for being here.


August 23

FAILURE

“Accept that all of us can be hurt,
that all of us can – and surely will at times – fail.
Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed
or risking love, can be terrifying, too.”
Dr. Joyce Brothers


The prospect of failing ~ or worse yet, “ Being A Failure” ~ was a crippling monster which held me in its cold and unforgiving stranglehold. If I thought I could not do a thing perfectly, I would not do it at all. If I didn’t know the “Right” way to act or to be, I was paralyzed. One day my therapist shocked me by suggesting I make a mistake on purpose. She wanted me to practice giving myself permission to make mistakes and to survive the experience.

I vividly recall intentionally dropping a gum wrapper on the ground and leaving it there. The Fearful Perfectionist inside of me screamed, “Pick it up! You never litter! This is wrong!” Yet I also heard a whisper welling up from within: “It will be alright. Just let it go.”

As part of my Recovery, I am exploring with brutal honesty the mistakes I’ve made in my life: the ways and the people that I’ve failed. Though doing so is embarrassing, humbling, and frightening, I am surprised to find a budding sense of relief. My attempts to avoid Failure never made me Perfect; rather, they caused me to be more entrenched in my pride, insecurities, fears, and stunted growth. A young girl I know is an expert skater. I asked her how she learned, and her answer stopped me in my tracks: “Mostly by falling down.”

One day at a time...
I will practice accepting my failures as necessary steps towards my healing. I will remember that the word “practice” honors the fact that we gain our progress by making attempts, failing, and learning from our mistakes.


~ Lisa V.

[yukonm]

August 24

~ HAPPINESS ~

The greatest happiness you can have
is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness.

William Saroyan



How many times during my life have I said that all I want is "just to be happy." We are told early on that our legacy is "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Did you notice that our forefathers used the word "pursuit?" How very wise they were.

Happiness is not automatic. Life is difficult and it's supposed to be that way. If we expect happiness and we expect life to be easy, at some point in time we are going to be very disappointed. I thought eating food made me happy and it did ... for a short time. There were other temporary compulsions in my life that made me think I was happy ~ but again for only a short time.

As I began to work the Steps, I began to desire something other than happiness. I found myself yearning for serenity ... and I found it. The way I found it was by not expecting the world and everyone in it to make me happy. I learned that life was more of an adventure than a bowl of cherries. I learned that the more I expected from people, places and things, the more disappointed I was ... and the more disappointed I became, the less happy I was.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will not require happiness. But when I least expect it .... happiness will find me.

~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

August 25

~ Patience ~

There is no fruit which is not bitter
before it is ripe.

Publilius Syrus



There are some things in life you simply cannot rush. In the early stages of my disease, I went through life like a steam roller ... impatiently starting one project after another. If there was something in my life that depended on the actions of another for resolution, it was excruciating while waiting on the decision. As a result, sometimes decisions were forced. I have made many bad decisions because of lack of patience.


I have learned that sometimes we have to turn decisions over to others ... we have to let go and let others take control. We must wait it out and hope that our decision to let go was a good one. Many times it is. Sometimes it isn't.


I have become a very patient person ... and sometimes that is to my detriment. It can be hard to find a middle ground in the decision making process. Snap decisions aren't good. Neither are those we sit on forever.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will patiently wait on my Higher Power
to direct me ... to guide me ...
and to help me with the decisions I must make.

~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

August 26

LOVE

"When you love you should not say,
"God is in my heart," but rather,
"I am in the heart of God."
Kahlil Gibran




What is love? And what does it mean to love myself? I’ve found from my experience that it is easier to describe what love is not. Through many failures -- and with my Higher Power’s help -- I have discovered that to love myself means choosing to not hurt myself by overeating. Self-love means choosing to no longer ignore my inner-child who sometimes screams to be heard and must have a tantrum to get my attention. Self-love means not isolating or allowing the hurtful, grieving, angry, fearful thoughts to possess my mind to the degree that the disease overtakes any sanity I may have. This list could go on -- focusing on the failures and the negative -- but my Higher Power has given me the desire, strength and power to feel, express and give love. Our Higher Power offers the freedom and joy of self-love to each of us who are willing to receive and practice it.

The more I am able to receive the love of others, the more I am able to love myself. And conversely, the more I love myself, the more I am able to receive love from others. As I work this Twelve Step program to the best of my ability each 24 hours, I am shown love through meetings, my sponsor, meditating, journaling, spending time with my Higher Power, and sharing my experience, strength and hope with another person. Some days, “the best of my ability” may be to just get out of bed and say the Third Step prayer. Other days, “the best of my ability” will seem like I'm working the program close to perfection. Regardless of my ability on any particular day, I’ve found that love can be gleaned from each day.

As the quote above states, "I am in the heart of God." I experience this when I am willing to surrender daily to the will of my Higher Power and to be completely and absolutely surrounded and protected by the heart of God.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will seek to see love in as many moments as possible by looking to my Higher Power and then reaching out to others.

~ Ohitika

[yukonm]

August 27

PERFECTION

“People throw away what they could have
by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have,
and looking for it where they will never find it.”

Edith Schaeffer



Time and time again I have felt like I was suspended from two ropes, being flogged for my imperfections. The tragic fact of that vision was that I was the person wielding the whip!

Before my heart and mind were opened by the Twelve Steps and Traditions, I sought perfection in everything I attempted. A simple letter would be written and rewritten until I was satisfied that perfection had been achieved and the letter could be sent. Frequently the goal was not reached and I would abandon the project in frustration and bitter disappointment with myself. Events that I organized had to be executed with the utmost precision. If, God forbid, a mistake was made, I would berate myself for days until sheer mental and emotional exhaustion prevailed.


Ironically, I never sought perfection in others and accepted that it was okay for them to be human. However, seeking perfection from myself became an obsession tangled with the search for self-acceptance. Needless to say, a rainbow cannot be seen through closed eyes, and I never found that which I sought. Through the teachings of the Twelve Steps I have come to appreciate that the beauty within myself is that I am not perfect. I can grow through my mistakes, and in my imperfections I can find serenity and release from the struggle.

One Day at a Time ...
I will accept that I am perfectly imperfect.

~ Sue G.

[yukonm]

August 28

FIT SPIRITUAL CONDITION

“… the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us.
We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience.
That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
The Big Book, p.85



These words, read every morning during prayer time, teach me to live as I am meant to live. Sanely and peacefully. Laid back. Patient and forgiving of myself. I am no longer a part of the war of the worlds. Anger can be dealt with or walked away from. Eating over it is no longer an option. Compulsive overeating is a problem I can live without, just for today.

One day at a time...
I will remember where I came from and how I got here so long as I keep in fit spiritual condition.


~ Jo

[yukonm]

August 29

STAYING PRESENT

"First you need only look."
Anne Hillman



My disease of compulsive overeating is fueled by my regrets of the past and my fears of the future. The more I try to rewrite the past, (which of course I cannot do); the more I try to devise a future plan, (which usually does not come to pass), the less I am present for my life.

I learn much from my three-year-old son. Sometimes when running to get a ball, he suddenly stops to look at an unusual insect he sees on the ground. His life flows and he abides by this pattern. He follows his heart and is "there" for life.

When I consciously stay present for life -- when I savor each moment and stay with my feelings -- I am alive and living. In the present there is no worry, no fear, no regrets.

One Day at a Time . . .
I ask my Higher Power to help me to stay present for my life, to stay with whatever is happening at any given moment. I feel feelings. I am spontaneous and life is exciting and inspired.

~ Melissa S. ~

[yukonm]

August 30

SERVICE

“Ask not what your country can do for you
but what you can do for your country.”

John Fitzgerald Kennedy



At one of the first program functions I ever attended, there were a large number of pots and pans that needed to be washed in the kitchen. My sponsor told me that we were going to go in there and wash all those dirty pans. When I asked why, she said, “Because this stuff keeps us abstinent.” That was good enough for me. Service is essential to my recovery. As our primary purpose states, “we carry the message to the compulsive overeater who still suffers.” The essence of my program is that of committing to service.

Since then my service in program has been of paramount importance to me, so I sponsor and serve at the group and Intergroup levels, I attend all events I can, and I am in service at most of the meetings I attend. I encourage sponsees to serve their fellow sufferers also and ask them to sponsor newcomers as soon as they have worked Steps One through Three. This action gets them working on Step Four as well.

One of my favorite ways to give service is to be available to talk to newcomers by telephone. As our responsibility pledge states, “Always to lend the heart and hand to all who share my compulsion, for this I am responsible.” A commitment to service is as vital to my recovery as are my commitments to abstinence, working the Steps and a daily food plan. These components mesh together and give me purpose I never had before.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will find a way to be helpful
to others in program.

~ Jill C.

[yukonm]

August 31

Friendship

"The ideal friendship is between good people,
and people who share the same virtues.
Leading a good life for the sake of friends,
is the utmost of friendship itself."

Aristotle



When I first came into recovery I had no idea how to be a friend. I thought that people liked me because of what I did for them, what I gave them, and how nice I was to them. It never occurred to me that being a friend could mean taking care of myself. I didn’t realize that friendship also consists of holding fast to my program no matter what, being gently honest to others in all things, being loyal to my group, and being true to my program and to myself. But the part that escaped me the most was that there were those who counted me as a friend just because I am me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will be a friend by being loyal to myself, my program and my ideals.

~ Judy N.

[willbe275]

I use to talk loud while saying nothing, today I'm learning to listen and listening to learn:1:

[MajestyJo]

I was told to take the cotton baton out of my ear and put it in my mouth. Learn to listen and listen to learn.

[willbe275]

Wow I so needed to read this this today 8/23/18, I can so much identify with everything you said. I too have fears of not doing something because I might make mistakes. But I'm learning one day at a time to learn from my mistakes and not give up. God bless you my friend and sister. Peace and love to you always.