One Day At A Time - June

[MajestyJo]

PERFECTION

“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God
as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet.”
Mahatma Gandhi


I don't know why I used to think that if something wasn't done perfectly, it wasn't worth doing. I was an all-time overachiever and to fail at anything was totally unacceptable. Since I set such impossibly high standards, it was hardly surprising that I couldn't love -- or even like -- myself. I was constantly pushing to excel at those things I was good at, and I would beat myself up if I failed to meet my high expectations. I was especially critical of my body. I thought that if I had the perfect body, my life would be perfect.

When I came into the program I had to learn to not be so hard on myself. For the first time I began to realize that I was human and could still be loveable and worthy ~ even with all my imperfections and character defects. I am lovingly reminded by my sponsor and my friends in the fellowship to be gentler with myself. They remind me that I don't even have to do the program perfectly. I just need to do the best I know how for that day; then I can see progress one day at a time. I don't have to push myself to be perfect all the time in order to win approval or gain love. What a relief that is!

One day at a time...
I don't have to be perfect all the time. I just need to be the best me that I can be for today…and that's the way God intended me to be.


~ Sharon S.

[MajestyJo]

STEP ONE

“Well begun is half done.”
Aristotle


The first time I took step one I knew that I was beat. Because I knew that I was beat, I knew I had to have help to survive. I sought and accepted that help in OA. I put the program into action. I completed the twelve steps and tasted recovery.

Over the years I have had to renew my step one, and each time I was convinced that I was not going to make it without the help in program. That spurred me on to complete the 12 steps many times. Step one is essentially what made me complete all twelve steps and go on to a fuller and fuller life in recovery. Without step one, there really was no need or motivation for steps two through twelve.

Recently I realized that step one is particularly necessary to do step twelve. I cannot help anyone without my Higher Power. I cannot control another's program. I cannot carry the message on my own, nor can I practice the principles in all my affairs by myself. Step one -- my powerlessness and my inability to manage -- is a great blessing. It is what spurs me on to turn to my Higher Power in all tasks great and small; it is what helps me to gain more and more ground in recovery.

One day at a time...
I will admit my powerlessness and my inability to manage, then I will turn to God Who will take me through my program and my life - with His power and His ability to manage.


~ Q

[MajestyJo]

EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH AND HOPE

“Experience is not what happens to you.
It is what you do with what happens to you.”
Aldous Huxley


Every day is filled with experiences. I can choose to let them pass me by, or I can allow myself to learn lessons from them. It is easy to let the day pass by quickly and virtually unlived. If I refuse to stay in the present moment and choose rather to be filled with resentment, stuck in the past, filled with fear, or stuck in the future, life truly does pass me by. My experience truly has no value. But if I choose to learn lessons, stay in the present moment, and remain connected to my Higher Power, my day becomes experience, strength and hope.

Since coming to the program I have learned that I can share my experience, strength and hope in so many ways. A call to or from an OA friend gives me an opportunity to give and receive experience, strength and hope. I hear experience, strength and hope shared daily as I attend meetings. People share not only what has happened to them, but the great lessons that they have allowed their Higher Power to teach them. This is such an honor to be part of, an honor that I would not want to miss. I give and receive my experience, strength and hope on the loops where I share -- and receive shares -- on a daily basis. I am blessed to be a part of strong loops with great recovery and sharing. My sponsors frequently share their experience, strength and hope with me. I am privileged to have two sponsors with quality recovery who are members of The Recovery Group. I am so grateful for their input in my life and recovery. They have been such an important part of my life lessons. Every source of experience, strength and hope in my life gives me more encouragement to learn new lessons with every experience I have every day.

One day at a time...

I will find every opportunity to share my experience, strength and hope.


~ Carolyn H.

[MajestyJo]

FOURTH STEP SECRETS

“These are weighty secrets and we must whisper them.”
Sarah Chauncey Woolsey (Susan Coolidge)


When I came to the Recovery Group, I was wearing the pain of a lifetime of well-kept secrets - secrets about a childhood of poverty and secrets about a difficult marriage. No one ever saw my secret pain; I never shared it with anyone. But all could see the effects of the food I used as a coping mechanism.

Because of my willingness "to do whatever it takes," I shared these secrets with the person who took my 5th step. I later shared it with my sponsor and some of them later with a sponsee during her 5th step. Sharing this pain the first two times was like the bursting of a painful abscess, with poison being released. The poison that kept me living in resentful, negative thinking has been gradually replaced with gratitude for what I had and now have, and with the ability to experience joy in my many, many blessings.

One day at a time...
I will experience gratitude for the gifts I was given in my 4th and 5th steps and for the gifts of this program.


~ Karen A.

[MajestyJo]

HONESTY

“Our lives improve only when we take chances ~
and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”
Walter Anderson


After the initial shock and realization that I am a compulsive overeater, it transpired that in order to recover, I had to get honest. This was -- and still is -- a painful process for me, yet it is an essential step towards my recovery.

First I had to admit that I wasn't in control of my life and that recovery couldn't be achieved unaided. As with most revelations, this was an uncomfortable truth to behold. I was also prompted through honesty to stop blaming everyone else for my unwillingness to help myself. I had to find conviction in my actions and not just emptiness in my words.

I conceded that I am not as perfect as I would like to think. I make mistakes and sometimes slip from the path of recovery, but with honesty comes acceptance that I am only human. This disease would deceive me into thinking that I am a failure when in fact it's my actions that have failed me. Like a magician who performs illusions for the crowd, this disease would have me think I have committed unforgivable sins. Honesty is the key to my recovery; it unlocks the chains that have imprisoned me for so long. It allows me to recognize my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. It turns simple existence into life ~ and inner-conflicts into outward serenity.

One day at a time...
I will be honest with myself.


~ Sue G.

Some times we forget that it is a one day at a time program. It is also nice to remember that I can stop, say a prayer, and start my day again, "For this 24 hours, I choose not to use. Just for today, I choose to put my life into Your Care."

[MajestyJo]

HUMAN EMOTION

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experiences of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared,
ambition inspired and success achieved."
Helen Keller



While traveling through life, I have made choices that have injured myself and others. Others have made choices that have hurt me. Remembering and writing about my past has proved to bring up a plethora of negative emotions. At this moment I feel pain, remorse, anger, frustration, and am overwhelmed.

Every human on earth experiences these same feelings at one time or another. This is part of what I am here for. How could I ever comprehend bliss without experiencing misery? How could I enjoy inspiration without suffering depression? How could I appreciate peace without encountering turmoil? I am grateful for the problems life gives me -- partnered with the emotions they bring -- because without the bad I could not understand the good. Everything has its opposite. Things will always change. Things will always get better, just like the sun shines after each storm. The good news is that even though I may be experiencing negative feelings, I am learning empathy and I am gaining wisdom. And how much more will I value the rays of sunshine that break through the gray clouds?

One day at a time...
I will allow myself the honor of feeling human emotion. I will ask my Higher Power to give me comfort in my hardships and to help me remember why I am here. I will ask my Higher Power to open my heart to the lessons I am learning. For today, with hope and faith, I will look for the sunbeams shining through the haze.


~ Susanne


When I heard people say, "Well I am only human," it annoyed me. I looked at it as a cop out and an excuse to continue on in their disease. I shared at a meeting and my sponsor said, "I can't believe you said that."

I said anyone who isn't willing to work the program, who has no sponsor, doesn't work on the steps, go to meeting and getting active in service (2 years sober), are not willing to change. It is a cop out, because for me, it shows an unwillingness to change. In recovery, if I am clean and sober, I expect to go to the program, apply it, so I don't continue to act out in my disease.

I heard my sponsor who had about 20 years at the time say to so people at a conference in conversation, "What can I expect, I am an alcoholic." I was horrified. I felt like saying, I expect you to apply the program. I am human, and I makes mistakes but I am not a mistake. I may do or say a silly thing, but that doesn't mean I am stupid. One day at a time, I do get better. The Big Book says, "We do recover from that hopeless state of mind and body."

[MajestyJo]

COMPASSION

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,
and tolerant of the weak and the strong.
Because sometime in your life you will have been all of these."
~ George Washington Carver


This Twelve Step program works wonders on many levels. But one of the most noticible changes I've seen in my life has been in the area of compassion.

Eating disorders can really mess a person up. All of us who have the disease of compulsive eating, in no matter what form, have been laughed at, discriminated against, or generally overlooked by those who don't suffer from our disease. So, one would think that compulsive eaters would be more loving and understanding to their fellows. For the most part this is true. But I have seen compulsive eaters be just as cruel as our more normal-weight counterparts.

If we can mistreat each other, how can we ever expect others to treat us differently? We need to remember where we were in our disease, for there are others in that same situation. We need to see ourselves in the newcomers to our program, because we run the risk of returning to where they are now. "There but for the grace of God go I" takes on a whole new meaning when we apply that phrase to our situation.

Sometimes we see varying degrees of success in this program of recovery. We must each work our program, and allow our fellows to work their program. It's not up to us to take someone else's inventory concerning the success or failure of their program. We need only to keep our own side of the street clean, and to show compassion to those of our fellows who are struggling. After all, compassion was what prompted the founding of our fellowship in the first place.

One day at a time...
I will consciously practice compassion toward those who still suffer, because I remember where I came from on this path, and realize I could return there.


~ JAR

In early recovery, I had no concept of compassion. When I heard the word, I would cringe. Then I realized I did not identify, because I had no compassion for myself.

[MajestyJo]

TOGETHERNESS

"The Praying Hands – let them be your reminder,
if you need one, that no one ever makes it alone."
Anonymous



"I don't need a sponsor; God and I walk alone."

"Why do I need to go to a meeting tonight? I'll be OK; I've got other things I need to be doing."

"I can't sponsor, I haven't worked enough of the Steps yet, and besides, I haven't got time; it takes all my time to do MY program."

When my thoughts drift in these directions, I am reminded of an old picture my grandfather had of "The Praying Hands" and of the story of two brothers, Albrecht and Albert Durer, both gifted in art.

The Durer family was poor and only one brother could go to art school, so they tossed a coin; Albrecht went to art school while Albert worked hard to pay his brother's tuition at the Academy in Nuremburg.

After a few years, the artist, Albrecht, said to his brother Albert, "I can afford for you to go to art school now, so I will finance YOUR education." But Albert, who had worked so hard in the dangerous mines, looked down at his work-worn, arthritic hands which had been smashed numerous times, and knew it was too late for him. He would never be an artist. So Albrecht painted his brother's hands and they are the hands we now see in copies of the painting ... two hands lifted up towards a Power Greater.

I know that I, too, have my Higher Power waiting to help me if only I seek the help I need. I am reminded of the friends I have found in the fellowship. I remember how it feels to hold the hand of a shaky newcomer at the end of their first meeting, or the hand of my sponsor who reaches out to give me comfort when I share a personal hurt.


One Day at a Time . . .
Alone I have proved again and again that I am defenseless over my disease, but together – TOGETHER - with my Higher Power and all of my fellows, I have a Power and Strength I never believed possible.

~ Marlene

[MajestyJo]

PROMISES

"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes."
Oscar Wilde


Before program, I would dwell in my mistakes. Experience, feh! I was all about self-abuse and feeling rotten about mistakes. My mistakes would certainly lead to overeating, since there was no other option in my mind. Even with years of therapy – with the same therapist – I still used eating as a soothing tool for those times when the mistake was enough to send me into a tailspin. Time and time again people would tell me I was too hard on myself, or that I should just relax and smile. Another mistake for me to internalize -- I couldn't even make a mistake right. I wonder now if I sometimes looked for things to call mistakes so I’d have a reason to feel as rotten as I did most of the time. Having been abused as a child wasn't enough, blaming other people for my pain never satiated me.

In my first OA meeting, I heard the promises and I started to feel something melt away. Some of the shame and self-pity evaporated into the room of men and women who also felt this lack of satisfaction. A room of men and women loved me because I struggled with the same addictive behaviors. I don't think I'd ever been loved for my weakness, and there is something powerful in that. When I make a mistake, I can think about my friends in OA who tell me that there is no wrong way, just another way.

One day at a time...
I can know that there are people who love me because I share in their weakness, and I can read the promises to realize that recovery is possible.


~ AJ

The 12 Promises of AA are what kept me coming back. There are many promises in recovery, all I had to do was stay clean and sober.

They worked for me. All I wanted was the first one, "We will know a new freedom and a new happiness." Over time, the others came true many times over. It is a one day at a time program.

[MajestyJo]

GROWTH

"You will either step forward into growth,
or you will step back into safety."
Abraham Maslow


In my early years in program, one of my sponsors told me, "You're in a very well-decorated rut. You even have wall-to-wall carpeting and curtains in it." As I continued trudging my road to happy destiny, her words would crop up in my head any time I got "stuck." I could see how far I had come each time, so I persevered and kept turning my fear into faith. As I continued to work the steps, I was led to new levels of recovery.

One day at a time...
I put one foot in front of the other, keep taking the next right action and continue working the steps. I live the promises of the program. Safety or growth? My choice is clear.


~ Rory

:87:

[MajestyJo]

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit
must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain."
Kahlil Gibran


There was much to be unhappy about in my childhood. There was also a lot of unhappiness in my adult life. Until I found The Recovery Group online, that unhappiness was the driving force in my life. That force robbed me of the ability to see and enjoy the many wonderful things that I had experienced. I wore a cloak of sadness, bitterness and resentment ~ I had been short-changed. It was the old glass-half-empty, glass-half-full story....poor me.

Being able to share the pain and unhappiness I have known has freed me from the power it had over me. Clearing away the wreckage is enabling me to see my part in some of the unhappiness I've known. It has enabled me to see more clearly that there is so much for which I can be grateful. It has enabled me to see that I truly AM the person of value which I had represented myself to be towards others. I am integrating that person into the "unacceptable" being I carried within. I have seen others here endure challenge, pain and hardships with so much grace. I have learned that pain is, indeed, inevitable. I have the choice whether to dwell on the pain morbidly, or to instead focus on the joy of this day.

One day at a time...
I will live in the joy of this day and I will strive to share this wonderful gift of self-acceptance to others in program.


~ Karen A.

Pain was why I used for many years. I was given Valium at 16 by my doctor. Doctor's where my supplier for years. It wasn't until I could look at my pain and realize that emotion and mental elements were making themselves know physically, and physical and body memories where making themselves known mentally and emotionally.

I had to get to know my body. I had to get to know me. I had to ask for the cleansing and the healing of my body, mind, and spirit.

As they say, "It isn't always what you eat, but what is eating you?"

I have to accept my pain daily. More importantly, I have to acknowledge it before I can accept it. I no longer want to be the victim or the martyr.

[yukonm]

June 12

EXPECTATIONS

“It’s astonishing in this world how things don’t
turn out at all the way you expect them to.”
Agatha Christie


My life has been strangled by expectations ~ expectations I’ve held for myself; expectations others had of me; expectations I had of others; expectations I had for my life; and expectations I had of the God of my understanding. Again and again, my expectations were not met ~ and I was angry. I felt grossly let down and I was filled with resentment and shame. Eventually I became consumed by a toxic sense of angry and depressing apathy. If nothing turned out as I expected, why bother? I’d held so tightly to my expectations that they choked the life out of my soul. They condemned me to an existence of futility, frustration, selfishness, and despair. I thought that my expectations were realistic and “right”; therefore each variance from my expectations seemed a violation of the natural order of things.

Since beginning my Recovery work, I’ve come to recognize that I virtually believed that I was God. I thought I knew what was “best”, what was “right”, and what was “supposed” to happen. Though I am sometimes resistant, I am learning to let go of my expectations. I am learning to change my focus from my finite understanding to the mysterious and omniscient plan held safely and sanely in the hands of God. As I work my steps and learn from others, I find that I am relieved that my earlier expectations did not come to fruition.

One day at a time...
I surrender my former expectations and now expect only one thing: that as I work my steps, God will bring me increasing depths of sanity.


~ Sharon

[yukonm]

June 13

LONERS

"I never found a companion
that was so companionable as solitude."
Henry David Thoreau


When I am physically, emotionally or spiritually unfit, I find myself isolating. On the other hand, I also find there are differences between solitude and isolation. Granted, sometimes those differences are subtle; nevertheless, they are different. It only takes abstinence to clearly see the difference and unless one has experienced that state, I doubt if this can really be understood.

Isolation shuts us off, not only from other people, but from God Himself. We tuck in our tails and busy ourselves with whatever comes to mind and our sole purpose is to avoid human contact. Isolation is not good. When I am isolating, I feel shame and I risk overeating. While I may not do this consciously, I run a risk of depression. I also feel guilty and the negative thoughts run amok.

Solitude is not hiding from others as isolation can be. On the contrary, I can nourish myself by being in solitude. Because I have a creative nature, solitude allows me the freedom to explore and be as creative as God intends for me to be. If I don't allow myself solitude on occasion, I am in essence damming up the gifts God has given me. These gifts need the freedom of solitude to make them materialize and be all they can be. Because I have experienced the disease of compulsive eating and all the manifestations of this disease, I can clearly see the differences between solitude and isolation. I learned that I can be in a crowd of people and still be isolating. I can also be in a crowd of people and be in solitude. If I have spiritually and emotionally shut down, I would be going through the motions but deep down in my soul I would know that I'm isolating. When my spirit is free and I am working the program, one might glance at me and see me drifting off to a room where there is a piano and recapturing a moment of music ... or staring out a window at a view so beautiful that it takes my breath away ... or sipping a cup of coffee and observing those around me but not actively participating in their small talk but wondering who they really are.

One day at a time... let me remove myself from the pain of the seclusion of isolation and substitute the wonderful state of solitude that brings me such great joy and peace of mind.



~ Mari

[yukonm]

June 14

PEACE

"If you do not find peace in yourself,
you will never find it anywhere else."
Paula A. Bendry


No outside reality can bring me peace. In the past, I tried to find it in many things, including relationships, ownership, and my vocation. But none of these externals brought me real peace. I had the opportunity of having all of them stripped away by a crisis in my life. I had surgery and got an infection that required a long period of recovery and resulted in disability. Many of my relationships ended, my income was reduced drastically, my capacity for ownership was decreased greatly, and I could no longer work. Although it was a painful lesson, it has been good for my spiritual condition.

I have been forced to look inside myself and realize that true peace and joy are found within. It is not about externals. Once I realized that, I found a relationship with my Higher Power that was deeper and more intimate than before, and the peace in my life settled inside of me in even greater measure.

One day at a time...
I will look inwardly for the peace that I long for.


~ Carolyn H.

[yukonm]

June 15

PERFECTIONISM

"The wise man, the true friend the finished character
we seek everywhere and only find in fragments."
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Like a spider, perfectionism builds its web through every fiber of my life. My perfectionism leads me to a host of other character defects. When I expect people to be perfect, I can be plagued with self-absorption. When I think of myself as "better than them," I practice being judgmental towards others ~ especially when I see behaviors that I'd never do. It also leads to my defects of self-criticism and self-loathing. I begin to hate myself for all the things that I can't do perfectly. I'm afraid to try things for fear of not doing them perfectly and looking like a failure.

Perfectionism leads me to procrastination and sometimes paralysis. This obsession for my wanting something to be just right -- or put in just the right place -- causes all sorts of feelings that can overwhelm me. Mostly it's a fear of what another might think of me if I owned this thing or put it in that illogical place. I learned as a child that being perfect meant that I was validated as a human; therefore my perfectionism is hard for me to be willing to let God remove.

One day at a time...
I will become willing to let God remove my defect of perfectionism. I will forgive myself and others for not being perfect. I will focus on a person's best moment instead of zeroing in on a person's defects.


~ Pam

[yukonm]

June 16

MIRROR, MIRROR

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.”
Kahlil Gibran


As a child, I often looked in the mirror and wished I were a boy. I thought I was ugly, had a deep voice, and was a disappointment as a girl. Even as a young woman I could never enjoy my appearance. I never saw the truth in the mirror. I would always focus on my “problem areas” and feel devastated that this had happened to my body. I felt totally helpless and wanted to cry; but I didn’t cry ~ I ate instead. Compulsive overeating stripped me of my true self. It made me incapable of seeing the truth, feeling the truth, and perceiving the truth.

Since coming to OA the scales have fallen from my eyes. By reading the Big Book, going to meetings, interacting with my sponsor, and working the steps, I have been able to see things as they are. Now I see my true self in the mirror and I can deal with life as it is. I can feel my feelings and know that they are neither right nor wrong and they will pass and change with the wind. This healing has cleared space in my mind and spirit for me to connect with my Higher Power. It has made room for me to grow, to love and care for myself, and to appreciate the body God gave me. When I doubt my perceptions, my feelings, or what I’m seeing in the mirror, I just surrender and remind myself that God has given me new eyes and new tools for living my life. The 12 Steps of OA shine a light into my soul and show me the truth in all areas of my life and recovery.

One day at a time...
I will look at myself ~ in all areas of my recovery ~ and know that what I am seeing is the truth because the light of OA and the 12 steps are guiding my life today.


~ Karen

[yukonm]

June 17

VICES AND VIRTUES

"It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices have very few virtues."
Abraham Lincoln


In doing a tenth step daily, I am faced with my character defects -- and yes, even vices. While I may not be compulsively eating, I may over-indulge in any number of other things like talking, whining, or frenetic busy-ness. I have been told that in life I must learn to "take my foot off the gas." I have also been told that I am "too intense" or just "too much." I guess this means I am not moderate in all things (by a mile.)

This thought comforts me in all of this: at least I am in the game. If someone asks for my opinion, he or she will get it ~ straight from the heart or the hip, as they say. If someone needs a favor, I am apt to be excessive in performing it. If someone needs a friend, he or she often gets much more than a casual acquaintance in me. In essence, my being "too much in general" has its good side -- at least I am not asleep at the wheel. I am fully engaged in life.

One day at a time...
I will not forget that my zest for overindulging and overdoing-it-in-general has its counterpart in my zest for goodness and service. I am alive and kicking. I will not hate myself for being fully alive.


~ Q

[yukonm]

June 18

GUILT

“The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.”
Ayn Rand


I think that I was fed on guilt from the minute I was knee-high to a grasshopper. My mother's favorite saying was, "After all I've done for you..." I'd immediately feel guilty because of all that I perceived my mother had given up for me. As a result, I was given the message that love had to be earned and that as far as my mother was concerned, I had to do something to be worthy of her love. I felt like I had to be the perfect daughter my mother wanted. No matter what I did, it never seemed to be good enough. My guilt grew even more.

Of course I know now that I didn't deserve that guilt and that I chose to take it on ~ but as a child I didn't know that. Thank goodness for the program which is enabling me to see what I deserve -- and what doesn't belong to me. I am realizing that most of the time it's other people's stuff and that I don't have to take that on.

One day at a time...
I will remember to only take on what is rightfully mine and I don't need to feel guilty if I don't deserve to.


~ Sharon

[yukonm]

June 19

KIND WORDS

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.”
Mother Teresa


How many times are we gifted with newcomers to our meetings? They are so easy to see as they huddle in the back of the room -- usually as close to the exit as possible. Their oversized coat is a good giveaway, especially in July. Their eyes show the fear and anxiety that we all felt. Sure, we made it, and so can they.

I remember the elder who first said those magical words to me -- those two simple words -- "Welcome Home." The warmth and safety those words held were immense. I felt that my body was huge, and I was embarrassed in a room full of people who looked very similar to me…but my eyes could not see that. They were filled with tears because of those two words. Welcome home. Whoever that person was, I have two words for you, "Thank you.”

What can you do to make a newcomer feel welcome to your meeting? Let us not forget that all-important first hug. I remember mine; do you remember yours? It felt good, I'll bet. So welcome the newcomer and let them know they are home.

One day at a time...
I will do my part to welcome the newcomer into our fellowship.


~ Danny

[yukonm]

June 20

STRUGGLE

“Our way is not soft grass,
it's a mountain path with lots of rocks.
But it goes upward, forward,toward the sun.”
Ruth Westheimer


I've been in a Twelve Step program for a while now. When I look back, I sometimes think how easy the journey has been to find the peace, serenity and love I've been given -- thanks to the program. I brought a lot of denial with me when I joined the program, and apparently I'm still in some denial. I'm so grateful to be where I am today that I have forgotten the struggles I've faced to get here.

No wonder some newcomers look at longtimers and think they'll never be able to get there! When I stretch my memory, I remember running headlong into the Fourth Step and thinking it the scariest thing I'd ever faced in my life. I know that first one was traumatic--holding my pencil to do it, getting the first page down, and admitting so many things that had been shaming me for decades. I usually don't think about that today. Now I know firsthand the cleansing of a good Fourth Step and I look forward to them as I peel the onion and find more defects.

When I look back over my journey, I can remember sitting in an emergency room using the slogan "One Day at a Time" for the first time. I changed "one day" to "five minutes" because it was all I could handle. But it got me through that day and the next two days. A few years ago I read that the slogans are the handrails to the Steps. I wish I'd known that before. For me to use that slogan when I did was an act of faith ~ and at the time my faith was shaky. After having proved to my satisfaction that there is a Higher Power out there who wants the best for me, I have faith now. Maybe this is why I look back on my journey and have a hard time finding the struggles. Maybe it's my new attitude of gratitude that keeps me looking to the positive rather than the negative. Whatever the reason, I'd like to say that
I struggled in the program, but it was worth it.

One day at a time...
I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity,especially through the bad times.


~ Rhonda

[MajestyJo]

One of the greatest gifts of the program was finding out that the program is applicable to all parts of my life. It isn't about my addiction alone. I no longer want to use, but it has always been the thinking behind the drinking and drugging.

That is why it is a one day at a time program for me, I have to work on my emotional sobriety daily.

[yukonm]

June 21

A Person of Worth

“It is funny about life:
if you refuse to accept anything but the very best
you will very often get it.”
W. Somerset Maugham


Upon entering recovery, I found it ironic, even strange, that I was so very good at taking care of others and helping them secure the help that they needed, yet often in my life I have not done this for myself. I would grow depressed and very frozen in anger, grief, and fear. Why wasn’t I ever able to care properly for myself? At what point did I begin to expect the worst as my own allotment in life?

It is possible that I dreamed of a “rescue” or an intervention of some kind that would “save me.” It is likely that my Higher Power knew of my tendencies for magical thinking. He caught my attention by the introduction of someone who knew of a program that would point me in a realistic direction. In this program, I would be taught to take small actions -- “One day at a time” -- that would encourage and re-build my shattered self-esteem. I now am in possession of a wonderful program that has given me tools for recovery and change so that I can learn to treat myself as well as I treat others.



One day at a time...
I no longer accept anything but the best, as it will indirectly affect my recovery. This is my new mindset: that I am a person of worth.


~ January K.

[yukonm]

June 22

SUNLIGHT OF THE SPIRIT

“Trust God and buy broccoli.”
Author Unknown



I heard that quotation in an OA meeting years ago. “What an odd thing,” I thought. “Why does God care what I buy?” But as years have gone by and my abstinence continues one day at a time, I see the meaning of that phrase and have deep respect for its principle.

I can trust God 'til the cows come home, but there is work to be done. A more familiar quote is: “Trust God but continue to row toward shore.”

Abstinence for me is not only refraining from compulsive overeating, but abstaining from what I call my “alcoholic foods.” They block that beautiful contact between me and the Sunlight of the Spirit. It is my responsibility to purchase, prepare, weigh and measure the best foods for my peace of mind ~ and to open the channel to a Power Greater than Myself. Now I live this way, with thanks to the twelve steps.

One day at a time...
I will be grateful that food does not have power today.


~ Gerri

[MajestyJo]

Love it, it speaks volumes and has a great message. Like the term alcohol foods, those food that make me think more.

[yukonm]

June 23

MIRACLES

“Miracles are instantaneous,
they cannot be summoned but come of themselves,
usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them.”
Katherine Ann Porter


I never believed that we live in an age of miracles. As far as I was concerned, those happened only in the days of the Bible -- with burning bushes and the red sea opening up. When I first came into the program and heard people talking about miracles, I was skeptical. As I became more open to the possibility, things began to happen which I can only consider to be miracles. They may not have seemed large to my old closed mind, but being able to give up certain trigger foods -- or having a fellow member in the program call me when I most needed a call -- have become miracles in my life today.

Being able to maintain my weight, rather than losing and gaining weight every few months, is a miracle. Most importantly, my transformed relationships with my children and other loved ones are miracles.

One day at a time...
I will open my mind to the possibility of miracles occurring in my life…and they will come.


~ Sharon

[yukonm]

June 24

ACCEPTANCE

“Because you’re not what I would have you be,
I blind myself to who in truth, you are.”
Madeleine L’Engle


The Big Book of AA says, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems.” I am finding this to be true for me. Living in a household with several family members, I need to not focus on others’ faults. I can choose to practice acceptance by looking past what others do that I think they shouldn't do, and instead I can love them for who they are.

In order to show unconditional love I must look past their shortcomings. I need to stop dwelling on the fact that they sometimes don’t do things the way I want them to. If I don't do that, anger and resentments follow and I find myself trying to control things and play God. We all know that doesn't work. It just causes misery and takes away my joy, peace and serenity.

As I work my program of recovery, I am better off to “let go and let God” and just accept others as they are. Putting others in God’s hands and resisting the temptation to try to make things turn out the way I want them to is the definition of acceptance for me. When I love others unconditionally I experience peace and serenity beyond my wildest dreams.

One day at a time ...
I will practice the miracle of acceptance and unconditional love.


~ Bluerose

[yukonm]

June 25

STEP TWELVE

“One must really have suffered oneself to help others.”
Mother Teresa


Before coming into the program, I always worked in some sort of caring profession and was always either helping or “fixing” someone else ~ mostly in areas in which I had no personal experience. I was a people-pleaser and I would be there for someone else. If anything needed to be done, I was the one to offer to do it. But ultimately that backfired because I would feel used and resentful, and I would land up in the food as my way of compensating.

Since coming into program I have changed the way I help others. Instead of doing for others so they would like me -- or so I would get a pat on the back -- I share my experience, strength and hope with other compulsive overeaters. I have been where they have been, and I can share with them my struggles and how I've overcome them. Not only do I help others in the program with what I have learned, but, as they say, I can only keep what I have if I give it away. I get as much -- if not more -- from sharing with another in the program. How different this is from the way it was before I began the program, and I'm so grateful for that!

One day at a time...
I will share my experience, strength and hope with another compulsive overeater. By doing so, I get to keep what I have so generously been given in this program.


~ Sharon

[yukonm]

June 26

TOOLS

”We shall neither fail nor falter; we shall not weaken or tire...
give us the tools and we will finish the job.”
Winston Churchill


We use tools everyday to complete a task at hand. To cook, we need tools such as pots, pans, knives, and silverware; to tend to our laundry, we need soap and water; to clean our home, we use a vacuum, dust rags, and cleaners.

Our journey of recovery is handled in the same way. The tools we use to help us throughout each day include: Step Work, Sponsorship, Meetings, Prayer, Meditation, Writing, Literature, Meal Plan, Service and Abstinence. These tools assist us in keeping our days balanced and they allow for a meaningful, productive day, each day of our recovery.

We hold strong to our recovery with the assistance of these tools, building our endurance each day. Like soldiers marching across the field, we are on the frontline day-to-day. By using these tools and keeping them close to us, we are ready to take on anything that might come our way.

One day at a time...
Give us the tools, and I will keep them close to me.


~ Kimber

[yukonm]

June 27

EFFICIENCY AND FUNCTION

“In God's economy, nothing is wasted.
Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility
which is probably needed, painful though it is.”
Bill W., Letter of 1942


I have spent a lot of time cultivating perfectionism in the vain attempt to make up for being a "failure" -- or what I have now come to understand is compulsive eating and an illness. I was trying to make up with efficiency for that feeling of not being good enough ~ and that feeling seems to be a hallmark of our illness.

By my past behaviors, I wanted you to notice how efficient and functional I was despite my obese body that belied I had a problem. If I could somehow convince you that I was "normal" and "ok," I would not have to admit my powerlessness. This is the single greatest obsession of every compulsive eater: that we are "normal" eaters. But we are not!

I built a lifetime around efficiency and function trying to show you how normal I was. Thank God I was brought to my compulsive eating knees time and time again until I could finally make that admission of failure as a normal eater and admit that I was powerless. The humility brought about by that admission afforded me an open-mindedness and willingness I had hitherto not known. I became teachable.

One day at a time...
I pray to remain teachable.


~ Lanaya

[yukonm]

June 28

ISOLATION

”Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.”
Joseph Roux


As an introvert and an agoraphobic I relate to both sides of this quote. From an introverted point of view, I need solitude to regroup, renew, and refresh. It's part of my process in life to have quiet time alone in order to "get it together". When I'm alone and I read my OA literature and meditate on what I'm reading and learning, I'm able to gain new insight and a renewed sense of direction in my program.

From an agoraphobic point of view, isolation kills my ability to stick to my program. When my social anxiety cycles and it becomes difficult to get to meetings or make phone calls, I hide from the world ~ and from my friends and other OA members who can help me maintain my abstinence.

Solitude and Isolation are both active decisions. Both require some forethought. If solitude is what I need to in order to regroup, I have to make time for it. I have to take a walk, read a book, putter around my house. On the flip side, if I'm having a hard time with Program and my social anxiety is becoming unmanageable, I can either isolate and spiral down, or I can choose to take action and get to a meeting, make a phone call, or ask my sponsor to meet me for coffee. I don't have to be alone in this program.

One day at a time...
I remember that I have control over my actions. Although I need solitude to heal, I don't have to be alone in my disease.


~ Deb B.

[yukonm]

June 29

RESENTMENT

”When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound
to that person or condition by an emotional link that is
stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to
dissolve that link and get free.”
Catherine Ponder


I once had a situation in which someone I was acquainted with said unkind things about my weight and verbally attacked my spouse in front of my daughter. I worried and revisited the situation over and over for many years until the anger turned to resentment and became a major, entrenched grudge. Because so many of my eating issues stem from emotional ones, this would drive me to eat in an effort to dull, numb and forget my anger. That didn't work ~ the eating didn't stop that anger from turning into resentment.

When I would complain about this situation to a friend, she told me that I had to stop allowing that person to "rent space in my mind." I came to realize that I had allowed -- and even nurtured -- a negative energetic link to that person and situation. I couldn't let go of resentment until I was willing to take the needed steps in program and to forgive. Forgiving doesn't mean I didn't learn anything from the situation, and I haven't forgotten the unkind words. But I learned that I needed to be more cautious in my dealings with this type of individual. I learned I can't surround myself with people who are overly-negative and say poisonous things without accepting any accountability for their actions. I have learned that I can be accountable for mine, and that I no longer have to allow myself to be bound by an emotional link to the situation.

One day at a time...
I will ask my Higher Power to help me to learn to forgive and forget. With the help of my Higher Power, I will let go of unnecessary baggage that causes resentment.


~ Deb B.

[MajestyJo]

PROCRASTINATION

“How does a project get to be a year behind schedule?
One day at a time.”
Fred Brooks


I have been given many talents, and I count them as gifts from my Maker. Throughout life I have discovered that there was virtually nothing that I could not make, bake, say or do with the help of my Higher Power. At the age of three years I learned to crochet and read. I learned to draw, paint, write poetry and quilt. The fact that I was not afraid of failing had a great influence on my ability to tackle any task.

Surprisingly, when I felt that I was "grown" and needed to leave home and start a life of my own, I found that finishing anything was almost impossible. I could start anything -- but I seemed to complete nothing. Much to my dismay I had developed the art of procrastination. Just waiting to finish anything tomorrow puts me one day behind. Day by day, the project gets put on the back burner and forgotten. One day at a time I eventually find that I am years into finishing some things.

Thanks to this program and its wonderful steps and tools, I have found that by working "one day at a time" I can be -- and am -- a person who starts and finishes things. This is who God created me to be...not the person who continually puts things off. It took a lot of reading and prayer and meditating on God's Word for me to get where I am today...a person who takes action on the tasks before me. I am far from perfect, but I am making progress.

One day at a time...
Just for today I will take action and not put off until tomorrow what I can do today.


~ Annie K.