Today's Thought - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

Are you willing to be sponged out, erased, cancelled, made nothing? Are you willing to be made nothing? dipped into oblivion? If not, you will never really change.

~D. H. Lawrence

Many men have a self-centered attitude about change. They say, "Lift yourselves up by your bootstraps! Take charge! Be aggressive!" They have only a beginner's understanding of what real change is. When we try to change ourselves by our own methods, we simply give rebirth to our already limited controlling ideas. We recycle and intensify our problems.

This program has given us a profound possibility for change. We discover we are able to move beyond our compulsion to control by surrendering. The promises for recovery are clear and bright if we yield to this program totally - but they do not come on our timetable. We yield. We allow ourselves to be helped. We allow change to overtake us. We earnestly seek to do our part. And change comes! It comes - not when we say, "Now I deserve it," but when we are ready to accept it.

Today, I surrender again. Each day I learn to surrender and grow deeper.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

March 2

Recovery Is Not a Race

When I chose recovery, I felt like I was so behind in my life that I had to make time up quickly. I had to straighten out, smarten up, and get a move on. Or so I thought. My pace in early recovery can best be described as frantic. I barreled through the Twelve Steps in the first couple of years, went to work to get off welfare and take care of my daughters, and barely had my feet on the ground before I dove into intensive therapy and went back to school. I stayed in school for thirteen years. I got so used to busy that I turned into a workaholic.

If you are early in recovery, even if your life feels like a train wreck (mine was), I'd like to give you some advice that I wish I had taken myself (more than a few people gave it to me). Work hard at your recovery, get yourself together, and sort out your life. But don't try to fix everything at once. Tend to the obvious things first; you know what they are. Then be sure to tackle the non-urgent things mindfully. You will be surprised how gentle change can be when you set your own parameters.

Recovery is not a race; it's a practice and a lifestyle, and we can embrace it gently.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

March 3

Finding joy

In the revelation of life (not in booze, pills, or junk) our first joy is the very fact that we are alive. Next, we find gladness and joy in our daily activities and accomplishments.

Soon we discover the joy of service to others. Later our happiness widens when we learn to share the joys of our brothers and sisters. And finally we find joy in our Higher Power.

Am I finding joy?

Higher Power, may I experience joy in the world around me, joy in being myself.

Today I will look for the joy in...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

[bluidkiti]

Match 4

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?
Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the "whys" of my blaming.
Today I Will Remember

Blame saying is game playing.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

[bluidkiti]

March 5

Perfection is expressing God's will enthusiastically.

Sponsors tell us that this is a simple program we are prone to complicate. Reflecting on our lives, we probably would agree. Because we doubt that God will tell us how to handle the circumstances facing us, we aggressively move ahead, making decisions that are often not in sync with God's will and certainly not in our long-term best interests. We complicate our lives unnecessarily.

Before we came into the Twelve Step program, most of us wanted to be perfect. We worked hard and oftentimes were overachievers because we needed the praises of others. Sadly, because we too often relied solely on ourselves, we missed the mark. Now we are learning to let God direct us. Each time we fulfill God's will, we'll experience the perfection and the praises we'd sought for so long. This is a much simpler way to live.

Today I will use the Third Step every time I have a question about my life.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

[willbe275]

I love to put the 11 step prayer with
that reading today. Lord Make me a
Channel of Thy Peace.Amen sister
Tammy?

[bluidkiti]

March 6

Money costs too much.

~Ross Macdonald

It may be tempting to base our feelings of satisfaction on what we are paid or to let money lead us in making important choices. In fact, money can't satisfy our deepest cravings, and the absence of it is rarely our true complaint when we're dissatisfied with a work or personal situation.

Self-esteem requires that we place value on what we do and that we become willing to ask for adequate compensation. Even more important is choosing work that we love, deriving self-esteem from exercising our gifts and serving others.

When we must compromise our values and standards for the sake of money, we learn that money indeed costs too much. When we say no to what is wrong for us and yes to our hearts' desires, our Higher Power cooperates with our efforts to work out the financial details.

Today, I do not let money lead me. I embrace the work I love, trusting that I will thrive.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

[bluidkiti]

March 7

Children are gifts, if we accept them.

~Kathleen Turner Crilly

Children are gifts. Our children, if we have children, are a gift to us. We, as children, were gifts to our parents. Sadly, many of us did not receive the message from our parents that we were gifts to them and to the Universe. Maybe our parents were in pain themselves; maybe our parents were looking to us to be their caretakers; maybe we came at a difficult time in their lives; maybe they had their own issues and simply were not able to enjoy, accept, and appreciate us for the gifts we are.

Many of us have a deep, sometimes subconscious, belief that we were, and are, a burden to the world and the people around us. This belief can block our ability to enjoy life and our relationships with others. This belief can even impair our relationship with a Higher Power: we may feel we are a burden to God.

If we have that belief, it is time to let it go. We are not a burden. We never were. If we received that message from our parents, it is time to recognize that issue as theirs to resolve. We have a right to treat ourselves as a gift - to ourselves, to others, and to the Universe. We are here, and we have a right to be here.

Today, I will treat myself, and any children I have, as though we are a gift. I will let go of any beliefs I have about being a burden - to my Higher Power, my friends, my family, and myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

[bluidkiti]

March 8

Every natural fact is a symbol of some spiritual fact.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our spirituality doesn't reveal itself only when we pray, meditate, or go to church. The implications of spirituality are much wider and deeper than that. Nearly everything we do is a reflection of the presence or absence of a spiritual dimension in our lives.

"How much is enough?" is a primary spiritual question. If we are not enough, all the food, drugs, or material goods in the world can never be enough. A sense of worthiness is a sign of the spirit. "Where is my security based?" is another primary spiritual question. If my security is based on status or the approval of the crowd, this is also a statement about my spirituality. We act out our spirituality when we smile and pat people on the back or gossip and tell insensitive jokes.

Our spirituality defines us. We don't need to tell anyone how spiritual we are - if they're hanging around us, they already know.

I seek to enrich my spirituality right now, but remember that it will be reflected in everything I do today.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

[bluidkiti]

March 9

You can pay too high for a bit of soft living.

~Mary Norton

We didn't become addicts by choice. We thought we had found an easier, softer way. We thought we could squeeze a little bit more fun and excitement out of life by our drinking or drug use. We thought we could control the outcome of our use, but we could not. Soon it controlled us. Oh, we pretended we were still in control, but in our heart of hearts, we knew we were lost.

Our addiction then asked for our dignity, and we gave it. Our addiction asked for our relationships with those we loved, and we paid up. Addiction asked that we betray our values and spiritual principles, and we did. Addiction kept asking for more, and we kept on paying; this is loss of control.

Social users will not give up their dignity, relationships, and values for their use, but addicts do. This is our illness. Now that we are in recovery, we don't have to give them up either.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me do the things I need to do to stay sober, even if I think they are hard to do - for with your help all things are doable.

Today's Action

I will do the hard things first. If there is a call I've put off, I'll make it. If there is someone I need to talk with but I'm afraid to, I'll talk with that person today.'Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

[bluidkiti]

March 10

The great thing about new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul.

~Shanna Rodriguez

We sometimes look into a face, and we see the Other. Other times, we look into a person's eyes, and we only see the Differences Between Us. As recovering addicts, we have known the pain of disconnection from other people. Why, then, would we want to continue that disconnection by not having people of many different backgrounds, sex, and genders in our lives? No matter what boundaries we may have to set in our lives because of our addiction, the gifts we receive from each other are many and invaluable. It is still possible for us to grow friendships.

A way to start exploring the gifts of friendship is to have diverse friends. With friends we can be ourselves. We can make mistakes; we can share activities; we can talk. We can call on and support in each other the subtleties and strengths we carry as individuals. We can learn from each other.

Is there someone I know who I'd like to spend more time with as a friend? I will be vulnerable and reach out to start new friendships.''

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

[bluidkiti]

March 11

Responsibility

Faith is our greatest gift; it's sharing with others, our greatest responsibility.

~Anonymous

Places and things never wronged us. We justify old actions when we blame other people for what we once did to ourselves. This can cause us to return to old behaviors.

We want to give up all stinking thinking. We cannot safely act the way we think we are expected to, but we can work at being ourselves.

We take risks only if they aim at spiritual progress. We become assertive only in seeking whatever can help us grow. Above all, we must try to stop being a "blame thrower" and start shouldering our responsibilities. If we react with compassion, understanding, and love, then we will achieve spiritual progress. If we let ourselves be hurt or angry or full of self-pity, we achieve no growth and accept no responsibility.

It's not always what happens that is my responsibility; it's how I react to what happens.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

[bluidkiti]

March 12

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.

~Hannah Arendt

Resentments keep us in the past, a past that can never be relived. Resentments keep a stranglehold on our mind. They keep us from appreciating the beauty of a moment. They stop us from hearing the loving voices of friends. We forget that we have a mission to fulfill God's Divine plan for our life.

Fortunately, we can shake this hold on us, and our freedom comes when we decide to forgive whatever transgressions are made against us. This decision, with some practice, can become second nature.

Clearly the choice to resent no one is our opportunity to free our mind and heart for the real activities God hopes we'll attend to. Our purpose in this life goes unfulfilled when we're consumed by resentments. Now we have a program of recovery to help us develop a forgiving heart and find the peace and joy that are part of God's will for each of us.

Holding resentments against others hurts me. Forgiveness can make me glad I'm alive today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

[bluidkiti]

March 13

Prayer is not a science.

~Mary McDermott Shideler

Since becoming clean and sober, many of us are coming to understand the purpose and value of prayer in our lives. Our friends tell us that any words spoken in sincerity to our Higher Power serve as prayers. That's good fortune for women like us.

This means we have the freedom to pray in any way that satisfies us. Now we can talk with God whenever and however it suits us. We will be heard, always. We will be answered when the time is right. What an empowering opportunity! Coming to believe this gives us a respite from our incessant fretting over everyday concerns.

Prayer can be anything - a thought, a request, a conversation, a plea, a dream. Our honesty is all that's needed. Prayer is not mysterious unless we make it so.

Every thought I take to God is a prayer. Today I'll be free of anxiety if I think of God before every action I take.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

March 14

The fastest way to freedom is to feel your feelings.

~Gita Bellin

Many of us were taught in boyhood that feelings should be avoided. Some men think that any kind of vulnerability should be hidden, and most feelings can make us feel vulnerable. For some of us, the only acceptable feeling is the one that makes us feel stronger: anger. Many men don't even know what their feelings are; many others recognize their feelings but have never learned how to express them to others. When we found our addictions and codependencies, they quickly became handy ways to hide from feelings. But that only served our false sense of masculinity.

As we seek a life free from compulsions and addictions, moving from the foolish ways to the wise ways of true manhood, we honestly admit our feelings. We are strong enough to stop hiding. We honestly feel our feelings because they allow us to live more fully.

Today, I will be conscious of my feelings and give them a place in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

March 15

AA Thought for the Day

After I became an alcoholic, alcohol poisoned my love for my family and friends, it poisoned my ambition, it poisoned my self-respect. It poisoned my whole life, until I met AA. My life is happier now than it has been for a long time. I don't want to commit suicide. So with the help of God and AA, I'm not going to take any more of that alcoholic poison into my system. And I'm going to keep training my mind never even to think of liquor again in any way except as a poison. Do I believe that liquor will poison my life if I ever touch it again?
Meditation for the Day

I will link up my frail nature with the limitless Divine Power. I will link my life with the Divine Force for Good in the world. It is not the passionate appeal that gains Divine attention as much as the quiet placing of the difficulty and worry in the Divine Hands. So I will trust God like a child who places its tangled skein of wool in the hands of a loving parent to unravel. We please God more by our unquestioning confidence than by imploring Him for help.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may put all my difficulties in God's hands and leave them there. I pray that I may fully trust God to take care of them.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

[bluidkiti]

March 16

H.A.L.T.

~AA Slogan

H.A.L.T. stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. These feelings can be of danger to us. They can lead us away from our program.

We need to eat regular meals. When we get too hungry, we get cranky. Then we say and do things we regret.

We need to turn anger over to our Higher Power, or else our anger can turn into rage.

We need friends to help us in recovery. If we get too lonely, we may turn to our addictive ways for friendship. We don't stay sober by ourselves.

We need a clear mind to deal with life. If we get too tired, we tend to feel sorry for ourselves. Being tired gets us into crazy thinking.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, remind me to H.A.L.T. Help me to not get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Action for the Day

Today, I'll review the four parts of H.A.L.T. In which areas do I practice good self-care? In which areas do I not? How can I improve?

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

[bluidkiti]

March 17

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

~Clarence Budington Kelland

We learn much of what we need to know about being men from models we have in other men. Some of us have fond memories of being next to our fathers and imitating their ways. Many of us also have the feeling of a gap in our models. Perhaps our fathers weren't around enough, or we may have rejected some of their habits and values, creating an uncertainty about masculine roles. We may feel unsure of ourselves, or we may berate ourselves for what we don't know.

It is well to remember how much we have already learned in our adult years. It is never too late. No man ever reaches adulthood having learned everything from his father that he will need to know about masculinity. We can look around us for more models in the men we know. For a man to be our model, we first choose someone we admire and then get to know him well. In this way, we carry on the human tradition of one man learning from another.

I am continuing to grow, and I can learn from the men I know now.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

March 18

Feel Them to Heal Them

The thing about painful emotions is that you just can't reason with them. Before I started my recovery journey, most of my life was devoted to finding ways not to feel. Bless them always, but neither of my parents were into expressing "negative" feelings - not ours and not theirs. Messages like "Dry those tears" and "Oh, just never mind" and the popular-back-then admonition "I'll give you something to cry for" were ever-present in our home.

In early recovery, I spent a lot of time exploring my feelings intellectually but still trying to avoid experiencing them. That worked for a short while. Over time, I became willing to excavate the deep, dark, painful feelings that I had buried for so long. Working through those feelings meant a lot of tear-soaked days in therapy, crying so hard that every muscle in my face ached. Feeling hard feelings is exhausting, but not as exhausting as running from them. Bringing those dark emotions to the surface, feeling them, and then releasing them is an act of self-love.

Feeling and processing sadness
can make room for more happiness.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

March 19

Being kind

Saying an unkind word to another may not inflict a lifelong hurt on that person, but what does it do to us? It separates us from our spiritual fellowship, which we cannot afford.

It is when we are out of step, out of harmony, that we are vulnerable to taking that first fix, drink, or pill. So it will help us all to be kind to others (even to those who don't seem to appreciate it).

Am I kind to others?

Higher Power, help me show kindness to all my brothers and sisters, even when it is difficult, as you have shown kindness to me.

I will show kindness today by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

[bluidkiti]

March 20

Dead, in their roots all flowers keep the light.

~Theodore Roethke

All flowers begin with the potential to grow and blossom. Yet in winter, perennial flowers are buried under the snow. Inside the dark earth, they are patiently waiting for their time to bloom. For the flowers, faith is believing that spring will return. It is carrying the light of summer deep in their roots so that even in times of cold and dark, there is hope that they will bloom again.

When spring does return, they shoot out of the ground and burst into blossom. In times of light, they drink it deep into their roots - deep enough to sustain them through the next season of darkness.

We can do the same, keeping the memory of good times deep within us, so that when we're feeling low, it will keep our faith in the happy future strong.

What helps sustain my faith today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

[bluidkiti]

March 21

Reflection for the Day

If I am troubled, worried, exasperated, or frustrated, do I tend to rationalize the situation and lay the blame on someone else? When I am in such a state, is my conversation punctuated with "He did . . . ," "She said . . . ," "They did . . ."? Or can I honestly admit that perhaps I'm at fault? My peace of mind depends on overcoming my negative attitudes and tendency toward rationalization. Will I try, day by day, to be rigorously honest with myself?
Today I Pray

May I catch myself as I talk in the third person - "He did . . ." or "They promised . . ." or "She said she would . . ." - and listen for the blaming that has become such a pattern for me and preserves delusion. May I do a turnabout and face myself instead.
Today I Will Remember

Honesty is the only policy.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

[bluidkiti]

March 22

When we do for other people what they should do for themselves, we both stay stuck.

Perhaps it's human nature to grow and change only when we have to. Unrelenting pain can serve as a motivator. Sometimes ultimatums are effective too. But making excuses for others or taking over their responsibilities, even when it's for their benefit, never inspires change. Most of us came into the program because we wanted someone else to change! Now we're learning that the only change we can be certain of is one we make in ourselves.

One of the first changes we can make is to let go of others: their opinions, their behavior, their responsibilities. Our need for them to fulfill our expectations is related to our insecurity, not theirs. Every time we preach or take on others' duties, we must recognize that we are preventing much-needed growth, ours and theirs.

Our intentions might always have been good. But the time has come to let others live their own lives. It's quite enough to take care of ourselves.

I will not do someone else's task today. Growth comes from each of us being responsible for ourselves.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

[bluidkiti]

March 23

When we meet someone, we say, "Hello, cousin," or "Hello, Grandfather." And this is not merely symbolic, but a reminder that we have a family.

~Gene Thin Elk

In our need and enthusiasm for declaring loyalty to new supportive communities and families of our own choice, we may forget that we are part of the larger human family. This family includes children and old people. It includes those whose gender or sexual orientation differs from ours. It includes members of other groups that experience oppression, as well as people whose lives we consider privileged - those we assume have no experience of suffering comparable to our own. All are worthy of our compassion.

In recovery programs, we discover people who seem different from us but who share with us feelings and experiences common to those living with addiction. As we look around us and acknowledge a variety of other people, as we pray for the wellbeing of those whom we know and those whom we don't know, our spirits grow. Our narrow definitions of kin and community expand to include all members of the human family.

Today, I affirm with love my connection to the human family.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

[willbe275]

Hey Tammy, question,
Do you read your message?

[bluidkiti]

March 24

Wants and Needs

Part of taking responsibility for ourselves means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that's okay to do.

Learning to tune-in to ourselves, learning to listen to ourselves, is an art. It takes practice. We can use our ability to guess what others want and need, and apply that skill to ourselves.

What does it sound like we might want and need? What would we guess would help us feel better? What are our feelings telling us? Our body? Our mind? Our intuition?

If we ask, then listen closely; we'll hear the answer. We are wiser than we think, and we can be trusted. What we want and need counts. It's important, and it's valid. It's okay to learn to participate in meeting our own needs.

We can learn to identify what we want and need and be patient with ourselves while we're learning.

Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

[bluidkiti]

Hey Tammy, question,
Do you read your message?

Yes I do willbe

[bluidkiti]

March 25

As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.

~Henry Van Dyke

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

One reason people read books like this one or throng to meetings is they want change - if not total change, then at least a modification of the portions of their lives that cause them distress. There are always reasons for our being stuck in the places we are. Those reasons are often our habits and patterns. If the painful consequences of whatever we find hurtful in our lives are frequent and recurring, we have a negative pattern.

As long as those habits and patterns remain unchallenged, of course there will be nothing new. Habits are like machines routinely, consistently, stamping out the same product year after year. They can do nothing else. They are made to create that specific product.

Change demands new behaviors, new thoughts, and possibly new surroundings. Change demands the willingness to go to war with old habits. Frightening - yes. Exciting - even more so!

I am willing to risk the security of old ways for the prospect of happy, new tomorrows.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

[bluidkiti]

March 26

It is better to begin in the evening than not at all.

~English Proverb

At times, we addicts feel bad that we lost years to our illness. We've wasted time, money, and energy on our addiction. Those days are gone. Let us not look behind except when our program and the Steps ask us to. We only look behind to see the mistakes we made for one reason - in order to not make them again.

Today we look forward. Today is a day to celebrate and live our sobriety to its fullest. We should embrace each moment of sobriety and live it with dignity and integrity. When we do this, we increase our chances of being sober tomorrow. Each day that we act from care instead of from self-pity, we learn how to be caring. If we are thankful this evening for today's sobriety, we increase our chances of having gratitude follow us into tomorrow.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to have gratitude for each moment of sobriety as they add up into days, weeks, months, and years. Help me to see that my future depends on how well I surrender to you in the moment. Help me to use the evenings to look forward, not behind me.
Today's Action

I will write out six ways that my life and world will be better as I stay sober one day, one moment at a time.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

[bluidkiti]

March 27

Treat a work of art like a prince: let it speak to you first.

~Arthur Schopenhauer

Many of us have felt that we should have and give an opinion about everything right away. After a movie or a concert, for example, we may want to step right in with our comments and judgments. Often we "shoot from the hip," without thinking or being attentive to our feelings or the feelings of others.

This can be a way of warding off the experience, enclosing it within words. All of us have feared that we might be caught off guard and compelled to change or expand our own ideas; we feel fear because the process leaves us vulnerable!

Watching a movie or a play, hearing music and lyrics, seeing works of art: these can open us up to the unfamiliar and the new, and if we are quiet and attentive, we can come to fresh insights and understandings. So, too, with people. If we are patient and willing to listen, we will always be learning and growing through contact with others.

The beauty and joy of life dwell within differences. I am learning to be open and attentive to what has not been part of my existence up to now, so that it may come to color and enhance my life.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

[bluidkiti]

March 28

Forgiveness

Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares forgive an injury.

~E.H. Chapin

Unless we can freely forgive others, we will never be able to forgive ourselves. The freedom to give ourselves a second (or third or fourth) chance to right a wrong or perform a helpful act opens the way to spiritual growth.

Unqualified forgiveness, both for others and for ourselves, keeps us from being overcome by guilt or shame over not being kind to ourselves and those around us. Forgiveness is a first step in making emotional progress; all succeeding steps become easier.

My sponsor told me to imagine climbing a beautiful hill and sitting in the sunlight, then to imagine my enemy climbing the same hill and sitting with me. Then I was to leave my enemy in the sunlight while I walked down the hill.

This, my sponsor said, was forgiveness.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

[bluidkiti]

March 29

When one's own problems are unsolvable...it is life?saving to listen to other people's problems.

~Suzanne Mossie

There are times when we get so engulfed in a problem - whether it's a conflict in a relationship or a job issue that demands all our time - that we lose perspective and miss an obvious solution that may be clear to someone else.

Fortunately, our fellowship encourages us to share our innermost concerns with each other, and we usually find caring listeners when we do. This exchange rewards us with the clarity we need. We discover a power greater than ourselves, a wisdom in the group that transcends that of any individual.

It's not by chance that we've been invited into one another's lives - as both teachers and students. What we share in any one moment may help others better understand their situation, and their response can enlighten us. Our tasks are to be honest, receptive, and willing to share and listen.

I will seek help for a troubling situation today by turning to others.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

[bluidkiti]

March 30

A woman who maintains fitness in her life has earned a PhD in self-esteem.

~Anne Marie Nelson

The word fitness covers a lot of ground. It's related not only to how we take care of our bodies, but also to how we eat, think, behave, plan for the day ahead, and pray.

Every avenue of our lives exists on a spectrum of fitness. Our Twelve Step program can serve as our manual for fitness. For some of us, the decision to exercise and eat right is an easy one. Decisions about how we think and how we behave, however, may be more difficult and require more discipline.

Fortunately, the Fourth and Tenth Steps keep us in touch with our individual characteristics. We can make conscious choices about which ones to exercise in every situation.

My fitness today is within my grasp.
The Steps will anchor me.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

March 31
To age with dignity and with courage cuts close to what it is to be a man.

~Roger Kahn

The healing journey requires courage. We are walking a path that is somewhat off the mainstream. We seek to become better men, better friends, better intimate partners, and better fathers. We seek to grow out of our self-centeredness to be more generous and caring.

It takes courage to give up the pursuit of greater and greater control, to give up the empty pursuit of happiness through more material possessions. Courage comes forward when we refuse to use our old escapes and accept our problems so we can deal with them.

Nothing is so bad that it can't be talked about. When we choose a trustworthy friend to tell our truth to, we see our situation from new angles. We can then have a dialogue with our friend and within ourselves that leads to a new outlook and new solutions. This kind of connection with other men creates new integrity within ourselves and gives us genuine dignity.

Today, I will continue to have courage on my journey of healing.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*