A little bit naughty!

[MajestyJo]

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'thingytails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Posted on another site in 2010.

:embarrassed:

[MajestyJo]

http://i694.photobucket.com/albums/vv302/NickBrahzz/Random/toothbrush-1.jpg

Anger Management


A husband asks his wife, "When I get mad at you, you never fight back.

How do you control your anger?"

"I clean the toilet bowl."

"How does that help?"


"I used your toothbrush."

[MajestyJo]

An Irish Doctor

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.

"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the
love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"

"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes."

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRoYf5UgGDP06UkVKXHFxIO9EUmDzQGI 7dCYKKRVq32CNumvSD5jw

[MajestyJo]

Saw the following and had a little chuckle. Many people said that I looked younger than I was. I had found the fountain of youth. I think it was generally spoken by a man.

This is what I saw in the mirror, when I allowed pride and vanity to get out of the way and found self-honest.

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWWFwngSb7zNMbQR33K-HTQn-2Wn9Tm9bA1SK29VeAVzEeC_mpHg

[MajestyJo]

Think this is a rerun, but still brings a smile to my face.

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".

"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see... where did I put that useless boob?"

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/religion-adam-eve/0008.gif

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

[MajestyJo]

http://www.watchersweb.com/submissions/wmf5l1419178647/SVJPB1419178647.jpg

[MajestyJo]

Sometimes our body speaks louder than words.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/q81/p235x350/10891496_777718468943890_7776639068576681633_n.jpg ?oh=b5246d53359658381d10194e0e68bf01&oe=553B497D&__gda__=1429137003_e349ac709d995a0d92214b54c3166f0 c