View Full Version : Daily Recovery Readings - February
bluidkiti
01-24-2024, 07:04 AM
February 1
Daily Reflections
GOAL: SANITY
"...Step Two gently and very gradually began to
infiltrate my life. I can't say upon what occasion or
on what day I came to believe in a power greater than
myself, but I certainly have that belief now."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27
"Came to believe!" I gave lip service to my belief when
I felt like it or when I thought it would look good. I
didn't really trust God. I didn't believe He cared for
me. I kept trying to change things I couldn't change.
Gradually, in disgust, I began to turn it all over,
saying: "You're so omnipotent, you take care of it." He
did. I began to receive answers to my deepest problems,
sometimes at the most unusual times: driving to work,
eating lunch, or when I was sound asleep. I realized
that I hadn't thought of those solutions--a Power greater
than myself had given them to me. I came to believe.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
When we think about having a drink, we're thinking of
the kick we get out of drinking, the pleasure, the escape
from boredom, the feeling of self-importance and the
companionship of other drinkers. What we don't think of
is the letdown, the hangover, the remorse, the waste of
money, and the facing of another day. In other words,
when we think about that first drink, we're thinking of
all the assets of drinking and none of the liabilities.
What has drinking really got that we haven't got
in A.A.? Do I believe that the liabilities of drinking outweigh
the assets?
Meditation For The Day
I will start a new life each day. I will put the old
mistakes away and start anew each day. God always offers
me a fresh start. I will not be burdened or anxious. If
God's forgiveness were only for the righteous and those
who had not sinned, where would be its need? I believe
that God forgives us all our sins, if we are honestly
trying to live today the way He wants us to live. God
forgives us much and we should be very grateful.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that my life may not be spoiled by worry and fear
and selfishness. I pray that I may have a glad, thankful
and humble heart.
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As Bill Sees It
Moral Responsibility, p. 32
"Some strongly object to the A.A. position that alcoholism is an
illness. This concept, they feel, removes moral responsibility from
alcoholics. As any A.A. knows, this is far from true. We do not use
the concept of sickness to absolve our members from responsibility.
On the contrary, we use the fact of fatal illness to clamp the heaviest
kind of moral obligation onto the sufferer, the obligation to use A.A.'s
Twelve Steps to get well.
"In the early days of his drinking, the alcoholic is often guilty of
irresponsibility. But once the time of compulsive drinking has arrived,
he can't very well be held fully accountable for his conduct. He then
has an obsession that condemns him to drink. and a bodily sensitivity to
alcohol that guarantees his final madness and death.
"But when he is made aware of this condition, he is under pressure to
accept A.A.'s program of moral regeneration."
Talk, 1960
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Walk In Dry Places
Garbage in, Garbage Out
Releasing the Past
One thing we don't need in our lives is garbage from the past. Yet many of us say that old thoughts and bitter memories often sneak devilishly back to spoil what should have been a pleasant day. Why do we let garbage from the past befoul our lives a second time?
Computer programmers use a certain expression when their systems turn up errors: "GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT." If you feed erroneous, useless information into a computer, that's what you get back.
We seem to have built-in computers that work the same way. If we waste time and energy talking about past injustices or old mistakes, we are unwittingly calling them back into our lives. We are bringing back garbage that should have been discarded permanently to make room for better things.
There is no benefit in bringing back old garbage. We can't change the past. We can't change our mistakes by brooding about them, and we can't obtain justice by remembering how badly we were treated or by plotting revenge. When we bring back garbage, we allow it to occupy space that should be devoted to constructive and positive things.
If we don't want garbage in our lives, let's not put it there by bringing up matters that should have been released, forgiven, and forgotten.
I will keep my mind on the present, knowing that a positive attitude will help me make the best of the opportunities that come to me.
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Keep It Simple
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.---Step Two
The Second Step directs us to believe there is hope for us. It may take time to believe this. Many of us had given up hope. But look around. Hope fills our meeting rooms. We are surrounded by miracles. This Power greater than ourselves has healed many. Listen as others tell their stories. They speak of how powerful this Power is. At times, we will not believe. This is normal But in recovery ,"coming to believe" means opening ourselves up to healing power found in the program.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, allow me to believe Help me to stay open to recovery.
Action for the Day: I will list three examples of my past insanity. I will share these examples with my group, sponsor, a program friend, or with my Higher Power. I will remember that I'm a miracle.
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Each Day a New Beginning
You were there when I needed you. You stood above all of the others with your strength and you guided me. To each of you I offer my being, my love and all that I am. --Deidra Sarault
Each of us is guided while we act as guides to one another, throughout the day, throughout our lives. We are interdependent. Everywhere we look, someone is learning from us and we from her. We often know not what we give, when we give it. And we seldom realize the value of what we're receiving at the time we accept it.
Resistance to what another person is offering us may be our natural response. But the passage of time highlights the value of the experience. We can look for the comforters in our lives. They are there offering us strength and hope enough to see us through any difficulty.
We need both the rough times and the soft shoulders of a friend. They contribute equally to the designs our lives are weaving. The rough times press us to pray, to reach out to others for solace. And our pain gives others the chance to heal our wounds. We are all healers offering strength. And we all need healing.
One of the greatest gifts of my recovery is giving and receiving strength.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 6 - INTO ACTION
In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. we relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.
pp. 86-87
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
Our Southern Friend
Pioneer A.A., minister's son, and southern farmer, he asked, "Who am I to say there is no God?"
I'll get drunk! It is a cold-blooded idea. It is premeditated. I fix up a little apartment over the garage with books and drinking water. I am going to town to get some liquor and food. I shall not drink until I get back to the apartment. Then I shall lock myself in and read. And as I read, I shall take little drinks at long intervals. I shall get myself "mellow" and stay that way.
I get in the car and drive off. Halfway down the driveway a thought strikes me. I'll be honest anyway. I'll tell my wife what I am going to do. I back up to the door and go into the house. I call my wife into a room where we can talk privately. I tell her quietly what I intend to do. She says nothing. She does not get excited. She maintains a perfect calm.
When I am through speaking, the whole idea has become absurd. Not a trace of fear is in me. I laugh at the insanity of it. We talk of other things. Strength has come from weakness.
I cannot see the cause of this temptation now. But I am to learn later that it began with the desire for my own material success becoming greater than the interest in the welfare of my fellow man. I learn more of that foundation stone of character, which is honesty. I learn that when we act upon the highest conception of honesty which is given us, our sense of honesty becomes more acute.
I learn that honesty is truth, and the truth shall make us free!
pp. 217-218
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
With great intelligence, men of science have been forcing nature to disclose her secrets. The immense resources now being harnessed promise such a quantity of material blessings that many have come to believe that a man-made millennium lies just ahead. Poverty will disappear, and there will be such abundance that everybody can have all the security and personal satisfactions he desires. The theory seems to be that once everybody's primary instincts are satisfied, there won't be much left to quarrel about. The world will then turn happy and be free to concentrate on culture and character. Solely by their own intelligence and labor, men will have shaped their own destiny.
pp. 70-71
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"He who cannot rest, cannot work; He who cannot let go, cannot hold on; He who cannot find footing, cannot go forward." --Harry Emerson Fosdick
If you find you've reached a dead end, it might be because you're sitting on it.
"You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it." --Charles Buxton
I asked my sponsor, "What do you do when you finish working the Steps?" Without batting an eye, he replied, "You lie really still, because you're dead!" --unknown
"Maintaining sobriety is like feeding a parking meter. It's all about change." --unknown
"Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one." --Hans Selye
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
RELIGION
"We have just enough religion
to make us hate, but not enough
to make us love one another."
-- Jonathan Swift
Religion is a powerful influence in the world, but so often the "power"
is negative. It has been used to judge, divide, separate and control
people; rob them of their freedom and creativity; chain them to creeds
and teachings that are not comprehensible. Unfortunately, religion has
become dull and lifeless for many people and God's love is missed.
But the power of creative spirituality is alive in God's world. It unites
and frees the people so that they can be discovered in their
individuality. Difference is accepted, choice is respected and healing is
perceived in our ability to love.
Let me ever bring the gift of God's spirituality to those who have
misplaced it.
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"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need." Hebrews 4:16
Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. Luke 6:36-37
Prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. James 1:22
Cast all your anxieties on God because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
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Daily Inspiration
We have every reason to be at peace because God will either protect us from suffering or give us immense strength to see us through it. Lord, I set aside my anxieties because You care for me every day in every way.
If you exercise your mind, your spirit will never get old. Lord, give me the ability to rise above my worldly burdens and ability to always make things a little better.
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NA Just For Today
Hardships
" We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text p. 22
" But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.
So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program—not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of—or perhaps in response to—those hardships.
Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.
Just for today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It's not enough to talk to plants, you also have to listen. --David Bergman
Plants grow best when we pay attention to them. That means watering, touching them, putting them in places where they will receive good light. They need people around them to notice if they are drooping at the edges or looking particularly happy in the sunlight. The more attention a plant receives, the better it will grow.
We need to be noticed in the same way. If we notice a family member or friend is drooping, perhaps we can pay some special attention to him or her. All of us need someone to care about how we are and to truly listen to us. We can share and double someone's happiness by noticing and talking about it also. We help the people around us to grow by listening to their droopy edges as well as their bright days. People need this as much as plants need light and water.
How can I help someone grow today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive? The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults. --Peter De Vries
Many of us, in entering recovery, are confronted with guilt about our roles as fathers. We can see so clearly with hindsight that we could have been better parents. Others of us recall the unfairness of our own parents and find it hard to forgive them.
This mixture of guilt and resentment is part of the package of recovery. If we remained the same and never learned anything new, we wouldn't have to feel guilty about the past or face our need to let go of resentments. Our spiritual renewal requires that we forgive ourselves and accept the forgiveness of those around us. Even today our children are not helped by our guilt, but they will be helped - at any age - by our amended lives. And all generations are enriched when we are able to repair broken connections with our parents.
I can accept the increased consciousness that recovery brings without punishing myself for what I didn't know.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Step Two
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. --Step Two of Al-Anon
We come to believe in a better life through the powerful gift of other people - hearing them, seeing them, and watching the gift of recovery at work in their lives.
There is a Power greater than us. There is real hope now that things can and will be different and better for our life and us.
We are not in a "do it ourselves" program. We do not have to exert willpower to change. We do not have to force our recovery to happen. We do not have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps just so we believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves - one who will get the job done in our life. This Power will do for us what your greatest and most diligent efforts could not accomplish.
Our Higher Power will restore us to a sane and beneficial life. All we do is believe.
Look. Watch. See the people around you. See the healing they have found. Then discover your own faith, your own belief, your own healing.
Today, regardless of my circumstances, I will believe to the best of my ability that a Power greater than myself can and will restore me to a peaceful, sane way of living. Then I will relax and let Him do that.
I know that one step at a time I am making progress today. I am grateful for all my growth, even though it is not always very obvious. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Transcend Your Limitations
You’re free now, free to take the journey of a lifetime. Free to experience life, in its newness, its freshness, its magic– in a way you never have before.
The only limitations on you are the ones you’ve placed on yourself. Your prison has been of your own making. Don’t blame or chastise yourself. Life has created certain challenges for you. The purpose has been to set you free, to provide you with lessons, experiences, circumstances that would trigger growth and healing. Life has been provoking, promoting, urging you to grow, stretch, learn, heal. Life has been trying to break you out of your prison.
Set yourself free. Let yourself go on a journey of love. Take notes. Be present. Experience. Learn. Love and laugh, and cry when you need to. Rest when you’re tired. Take a flashlight to help you see in the dark. But most of all, take yourself and go.
Go on your journey of joy.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Say woohoo
I put on my skydiving gear and headed for the airplane. Here I was again, ready to go. My hands were already sweating; I could feel the quiver in my lip. Why did I keep doing this to myself?
Once I boarded the airplane, I started what had become a routine for me. I don’t have to do this, I told myself.I’m volunteering to skydive. It’s not mandatory. Not wanting to overly embarrass myself in front of the other, more experienced sky divers, I coped with my anxiety by fidgeting. I fidgeted with the altimeter on my hand. I fidgeted with the strap on my helmet.
I wanted to tell my jump master I couldn’t jump because I was having a heart attack, but I knew he wouldn’t believe me. It was just anxiety, fear building up to an unmanageable, uncontrollable level.
A friend was sitting across from me, watching. “How are you doing Mel?” he asked.
“Scared,” I said.
“Do you say woohoo?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” I said.
“When you get to the door and jump, say woohoo,” he said. “You can’t have a bad time if you do.”
I walked to the door of the plane, hoisted myself out, and waited for the nod from my jump master, signaling that he was ready for the count.
“Ready,” I said. “Set.” Then with all my might I yelled, “WOOHOO,” so loud the sky divers in the back of the plane heard me.
My jump master followed me out of the plane and then positioned himself in front of me. I looked at him and grinned. Then I grinned some more. So this is why I’m doing this, I thought. Because it’s so much fun.
It was the best jump I’d had yet.
We’re jumping into the unknown, when we have a baby or a new job.
Sometimes, however, we don’t choose our experience. I can recall sitting on the edge of the bed in the hospital room after Shane’s death, knowing that the journey I was about to embark upon would not be an exhilarating one. God, I don’t want to go through this, I thought. It’s not going to be over in three months or a year. This one I’ll live with the rest of my life. I can remember standing in the parking lot outside the courthouse after my divorce from the children’s father. I took one deep breath, feeling exhilarated and free. The next one was filled with terror and dread. My God, I was now a dirt-poor single parent with two children to raise.
Sometimes we jump out that door voluntarily. Sometimes we’re pushed.
Feel your fear, then let it go. Dread is just a prejudice against the future. After having examined all the probabilaties and possibilities, we decide ahead of time that we’re going to have the worse experience possible. So let go of dread,too.
Fidget if you must. Ask yourself what you’re doing here. Then walk to the door and give the count. See how much fun it can be when you jump into the unknown and feel the rush of being fully alive.
God, help me take a deep breath and holler woohoo.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
The longer I’m in The Program, the more clearly I see why it’s important for me to understand why I do what I do, and say what I say. In the process, I’m coming to realize what kind of person I really am. I see now, for example, that it’s far easier to be honest with other people that with myself. I’m learning, also, that we’re all hampered by our need to justify our actions and words. Have I taken an inventory of myself as suggested in the Twelve Steps? Have I admitted my faults to myself, to god, and to another human being?
Today I Pray
May I not be stalled in my recovery process by the enormity of The Program’s fourth Step, taking a moral inventory of myself, or by admitting these shortcomings to myself, to God and to another human being. May I know that honesty to myself about myself is all-important.
Today I Will Remember
I cannot mend if I bend the truth.
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One More Day
Snow endures but for a season, and joy comes with the morning.
– Marcus Aurelius
We are a nation which sometimes sells out for short-term goals and short-term gratification. We may overuse credit cards. At times we live on impulse and buy on impulse. Gone is the long-term planning our parents tired to teach us as children. Gone is learning to wait.
Now we have no choice. Life’s circumstances, especially illness, force us to wait whether or not we want to. True, we live with pain and annoyance, but once again, quite accidentally, we begin to know the joy that comes from the waiting and from savoring any small victory.
Patience is a virtue I am once again cultivating. Life’s circumstances have taught me the importance of finding the joy in each day.
This books author is Sefra Kobrin Pitzele
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Food For Thought
Learning
In this program, we never stop learning. It takes time to absorb the OA way of life. Some of us start with great enthusiasm, expecting perfection all at once. When we do not achieve it, we are sometimes tempted to give up and go back to the old, self-destructive way of eating the wrong kinds of food in the wrong amounts.
One of the most important things we learn in OA is patience with ourselves. We seek progress, not perfection. We work for it one step at a time, one day at a time. Our Higher Power accepts us and loves us as we are right now, today. By turning our lives over to Him and humbly asking for guidance, we become receptive to His teaching.
As we grow - slowly -we learn from our mistakes even more than from our successes. We are willing to be again as little children, and we are willing to accept suggestions and help from those who have had more experience and time in the program. We do not have to continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. We can learn the new way of life if we will walk into it patiently and slowly.
Open my body, mind, and heart to Your teaching, Lord.
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One Day At A Time
~ Strategy ~
"Better shun the bait than struggle in the snare. "
John Dryden
Perhaps the most important strategy for beating temptation is to avoid it altogether. Temptation pits me head-on with my disease and all of its cunning and baffling ways. It's so much easier to stay out of its claws and devices than to try to free myself once caught in its web.
What ways do I bring temptation right into my house or provide access to temptation when I go out? Do I keep forbidden foods in my house? Have I ever asked other family members to go without those things because they are dangerous to me or my recovery? Do I go places or engage in activities that increase my desire to eat compulsively? Have I considered that, for now, I just can't go certain places because of the risk to my recovery? Have I considered that I might have to give up socializing with certain groups of people because they lead me into temptation? Does watching TV trigger compulsive eating? Does putting myself in the company of a certain individuals lead to self- defeating behavior of any kind? Do I continually expose myself to stressful situations or people that tempt me to eat compulsively? Do I continue doing the things that tempt me to eat to ease the feelings or emotions that come up over it?
Perhaps I am in an unwholesome relationship, or I overspend, or have another addiction or compulsion. What am I willing to do to recover? What am I willing to change to keep myself out of harm's way?
It is easy to pray for God to keep me from temptation, but I must do my part also.
One day at a time ...
I must remember to avoid the people, places and things that tempt me to eat compulsively and provide a way for the disease to touch me again.
~ Diane ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Did not these feelings, after all, determine the course of our existence? It was impossible to say we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship. In one form or another we had been living by faith and little else. - Pg. 54 - We Agnostics
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
"That great cloud rains down on all, whether their nature is superior or inferior. The light of the sun and the moon illuminates the whole world, both him who does well and him who does ill, both him who stands high and him who stands low." Buddha from Sadharmapundarika Sutra 5 "Your father in heaven makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous." Jesus from Matthew 5.45
I seek comfort and wisdom from all Universal Sources as I journey toward recovery.
I thank you God
For most this amazing day, for the leafy, greenly spirits of trees, and everything which is infinite, which is beautiful, which is yes. I who have died am alive again today and this is the sun's birthday.
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Nothing happens by accident. There are no coincidences, they say, only God-incidences.
I believe that God can do for me what I can't do for myself. I believe in God-incidences.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Sponsorship-the art of helping an alcoholic grow up without putting them down.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I know that one step at a time I am making progress today. I am grateful for all my growth,, even though it is not always very obvious.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I didn't become an alcoholic because I drank too much. I drank too much because I'm an alcoholic. - Unknown origin.
bluidkiti
01-24-2024, 07:05 AM
February 2
Daily Reflections
RESCUED BY SURRENDERING
Characteristic of the so-called typical alcoholic is a narcissistic
egocentric core, dominated by feelings of omnipotence, intent
on maintaining at all costs its inner integrity.... Inwardly the alcoholic
brooks no control from man or God. He, the alcoholic, is and must be
the master of his destiny. He will fight to the end to preserve that
position.
A.A. COMES OF AGE, p.311
The great mystery is: "Why do some of us die alcoholic deaths,
fighting to preserve the 'independence' of our ego, while others seem
to sober up effortlessly in A.A.?" Help from a Higher Power, the gift of
sobriety, came to me when an otherwise unexplained desire to stop
drinking coincided with my willingness to accept the suggestions of
the men and women of A.A. I had to surrender, for only by reaching
out to God and my fellows could I be rescued.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
We got a kick out of the first few drinks, before we got stupefied by
alcohol. For a while, the world seemed to look brighter. But how
about the letdown, the terrible depression that comes the morning
after? In A.A., we get a real kick, not a false feeling of exhilaration,
but a real feeling of satisfaction with ourselves and self-respect. And
a feeling of friendliness toward the world. We got a sort of pleasure
from drinking. For a while we thought we were happy. But it's only an
illusion. The hangover the next day is the opposite of pleasure. In
A.A., am I getting real pleasure and serenity and peace?
Meditation For The Day
I will practice love, because lack of love will block the way. I will try
to see good in all people, those I like and also those who fret me and
go against the grain. They are all children of God. I will try to give
love, otherwise how can I dwell in God's spirit, whence nothing
unloving can come? I will try to get along with all people, because the
more love I give away, the more I will have.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may do all I can to love others, in spite of
their many faults. I pray that as I love, so will I be loved.
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As Bill Sees It
Foundation For Life, p. 33
We discover that we receive guidance for our lives to just about the
extent that we stop making demands upon God to give it to us on
order and on our terms.
<< << << >> >> >>
In praying, we ask simply that throughout the day God place in us the
best understanding of His will that we can have for that day, and that
we be given the grace by which we may carry it out.
<< << << >> >> >>
There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and
prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and
benefit. But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result
is an unshakable foundation for life.
12 & 12
1. p. 104
2. p. 102
3. p. 98
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Walk In Dry Places
Why do you need those meetings?
Staying active.
Friends and relatives are often grateful when they witness an alcoholic's dramatic recovery after years of horror and pain. However, they sometimes fail to understand the importance of meetings after the alcoholic has been sober for months or years. "Do you have to go to another meeting this week?" a spouse might say, "You're sober now. Why do you need THOSE people?"
Some AA members probably do use the meetings simply as a social outlet and attend more than they need. But no other person can really determine what you or I need to maintain sobriety. Moreover, even in sobriety, we are always dealing with alcohol, which can come back into our lives with stunning force if we ever become careless or foolish. It is much better to go to more meetings than we need than to attend too few or none at all.
There is another side as well. The meetings need us. By attending meetings, we are carrying the AA message and providing a haven for desperate newcomers who need our help.
However, we should be tolerant and understanding when others are critical of our zealous attendance of meetings. It is not necessary that they understand our need. It is only necessary that we understand!
I will remember today that the price of liberty is eternal vigilance. I don't want to change anything----including meeting attendance----, which is necessary for my continued sobriety.
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Keep It Simple
We must believe the things we teach our children.-------Woodrow Wilson
It may be easy to say the words and phrases we've heard without really meaning them. Someone says something at a meeting that sounds good. Our counselor has a favorite saying. We may say these words,
but are we taking the time to ask the question. Do I believe what I'm saying?
Step Two speaks of, "Came to believe..." By really believing in the Twelve Steps, we let them become part of us. The more we believe in the Steps the more we turn our lives over to them. Hopefully, over time, the Twelve Steps will guide us more and more. We'll speak to our family with respect we've found in the Twelve Steps. Our spirit must truly believe. Then we can work the Steps.
Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, believing is something that lasts a lifetime. Give me the power to believe even when doubt creeps in.
Action for the Day: My beliefs are changing. Today, in my inventory, I'll ask: Do I believe what I said today?
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Each Day a New Beginning
What most of us want is to be heard, to communicate. --Dory Previn
Our personhood is denied; the self we are presenting to the word is negated each time we speak, yet go unheard. "The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention." If we want attention, we must also give it. That means letting go of all extraneous thoughts when we're in conversation with someone. We cannot expect to get from others what we are unable or unwilling to give.
Being heard and hearing another person is more than just listening. It's letting ourselves be touched, in an intimate way, by the other's words. We don't want judgment, or shame, or to be discounted when we share who we are with another. We want to know that we have been intimately heard. And when we have a chance to hear another, we listen intently for the words meant for us, words that will stretch our womanhood and bring us closer to our inner selves as well.
The beauty of hearing each other is that it helps us to hear ourselves. We know better who we are when we listen to one another. Every conversation offers us a chance to be real, to help another person be real.
Rapt attention is my greatest gift. If I want to receive it, I must give it.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 6 - INTO ACTION
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.
p. 87
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
January 8, 1938--that was my D-Day; the place, Washington, D.C. This last real merry-go-round had started the day before Christmas, and I had really accomplished a lot in those fourteen days. First, my new wife had walked out, bag, baggage, and furniture; then the apartment landlord had thrown me out of the empty apartment; and the finish was the loss of another job. After a couple of days in dollar hotels and one night in the pokey, I finally landed on my mother's doorstep--shaking apart, with several days' beard, and of course, broke as usual. Many of these same things had happened to me many times before, but this time they had all descended together. For me, this was it.
p. 219
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
Certainly no alcoholic, and surely no member of A.A., wants to deprecate material achievement. Nor do we enter into debate with the many who still so passionately cling to the belief that to satisfy our basic natural desires is the main object of life. But we are sure that no class of people in the world ever made a worse mess of trying to live by this formula than alcoholics. For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion. Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted.
p. 71
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While it isn't always easy, if I keep it simple, it works.
I hold firm to faith, so that nothing will weaken my commitment to live in God's light. --Shelley
Regardless of what has happened or whether we understand, we can open ourselves to God's protection and grace. --John Morton
It is in the silence of the heart that God speaks. --Mother Teresa
He who knows the precepts by heart, but fails to practice them, Is like unto one who lights a lamp and then shuts his eyes. --Nagarjuna
Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf. --American Indian Proverb
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
The heart is wiser than the intellect. --Josiah Holland (1819-1881)
Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
WORK
"We work to become, not to
acquire."
-- Elbert Hubbard
I believe it is easier to get well than it is to stay sick --- but we must
be prepared to work for our sobriety. We need to confront the
disease and discover the "person " that God created. The road to
recovery is rewarding because we cast aside those aspects of our
character that have been destroying us and discover our strengths,
virtues and God-given spirituality.
For years I worked for money or for security or for acclaim --- today
I am working on myself for myself. I work at discovering God in His
world, and I am also finding God in my life. I realize that my creative
work coincides with God's will for the world.
Thank You for the gift of work that enables me to discover more of me.
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"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." James 4:10
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. 1 John 2:1-6
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Daily Inspiration
Enjoy God. Lord, I hand over all of my cares to You so that for this moment I am peacefully free.
God sends us His message, but we must be willing to receive it and then live it. Lord, when I yield to You, I become free and full of the richness of life.
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NA Just For Today
Goodwill
" Goodwill is best exemplified in service; proper service is doing the right thing for the right reason."
Basic Text p. ix
The spiritual core of our disease is self-centeredness. In dealing with others, the only motive our addiction taught us was selfishness — we wanted what we wanted when we wanted it. Obsession with self was rooted in the very ground of our lives. In recovery, how do we root self-obsession out?
We reverse the effects of our disease by applying a few very simple spiritual principles. To counteract the self-centeredness of our addiction, we learn to apply the principle of goodwill. Rather than seeking to serve only ourselves, we begin serving others. Rather than thinking only about what we can get out of a situation, we learn to think first of the welfare of others. When faced with a moral choice, we learn to stop, recall spiritual principles, and act appropriately.
As we begin "doing the right thing for the right reason;" we can detect a change in ourselves. Where once we were ruled by self-will, now we are guided by our goodwill for others. The chronic self-centeredness of addiction is losing its hold on us. We are learning to "practice these principles in all our affairs"; we are living in our recovery, not in our disease.
Just for today: Wherever I am, whatever I do, I will seek to serve others, not just myself. When faced with a dilemma, I will try to do the right thing for the right reason.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Fear is the absence of faith. --Paul Tillich
We all experience fear. Sometimes we fear small things that only seem large at the time, like a test in school, or meeting a new boss, or going to the dentist. Sometimes we fear big things like serious illness or death, or that someone we love will come to harm. Fear is healthy, and we all feel it. It keeps us from doing foolish things sometimes, but too much fear can also keep us from doing what we need for our growth.
If we have faith in God and in ourselves, we can turn and face whatever frightens us, believing we can, with help, do what seems impossible. And we will, and the fear will vanish. The important first step in dealing with fear is to take action--either by tackling what we fear ourselves, or by asking for help. Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.
What am I most afraid of?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
To be alive is power,
Existing in itself,
Without a further function,
Omnipotence enough.
--Emily Dickinson
Being a person, a man, in this world is an amazing gift. A spiritual awakening promised by this program is open to us. But today, not all of us feel powerful and alive. We may feel weak, inadequate to our task, perplexed, or stymied. Is this a day in which we are filled with exuberance for the gift of life? Or is this a day when we're feeling subdued by life's burdens?
Perhaps we need to evaluate our perspective. Are we trying to control something or someone? Are we acting as if the world should be as we want rather than as it is? Have our individual wills exceeded their natural bounds and spoiled the simple joy of being "without a further function"?
May I find the pleasure and exuberance today that come with being alive. The simple power to be a person is "omnipotence enough."
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Trusting Our Higher Power
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood him. --Step Three of Al-Anon
So much talk about a Higher Power, God, as we understand God. So much joy as we come to understand Him. Spirituality and spiritual growth are the foundations of change. Recovery from codependency is not a do it yourself task.
Is God a relentless taskmaster? A hardhearted, shaming wizard with tricks up the sleeve? Is God deaf? Uncaring? Haphazard? Unforgiving?
No.
A loving God, a caring God. That is the God of our recovery No more pain than is necessary for usefulness, healing, and cleansing. As much goodness and joy as our heart can hold, as soon as our heart is healed, open, and ready to receive God: approving, accepting, instantly forgiving.
God has planned little gifts along the way to brighten our day/and sometimes big, delightful surprises perfectly timed, perfect for us.
A Master Artist, God will weave together all our joy, sadness and experience to create a portrait of our life with depth, beauty, sensitivity, color, humor, and feeling.
God as we understand Him: A loving God. The God of our recovery.
Today, I will open myself to the care of a loving God. Then, I will let God show me love.
As I gently pull back each layer that has been blocking me from being the best of who I am, I dare look a bit further and then a bit further yet. I know that I am not alone on this path and God is guiding me every inch of the way. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Cherish Today’s Lessons
“I’m brokenhearted about my divorce,” the man said. “I’ve spent four years searching for a new wife, trying to recreate my family, trying to jam the pieces of the picture back in place. All I’ve gotten from my desperate search is more pain and anguish. It’s hurt other people. It’s hurt me. I’m tired of trying to manipulate other people to meet my own needs, to postpone my own grief.
Some of us may be desperately trying to recreate the life we once had. But fear, pain, and the desperation won’t attract the answer we’re seeking. Desperation attracts desperation. Pain attracts pain. And so the downward spiral goes. Yes, loss hurts. Sometimes life hurts,too. But loss can’t be negotiated. Becoming obsessed with putting the pieces back in place is an understandable reaction, but it won’t work. Yesterday cannot be superimposed on today. We need to go one step further.
Feel the obsession, and let it go. Feel the desperation, then release that. Come back to the lessons of today. They’re different from the lessons of yesterday, but just as valuable.
We face many losses along the way. People we love disappear from our lives, we may lose a career, money, or something else we valued. We can lose our dreams,too. But looking for quick replacements as a way to avoid feeling pain about the loss won’t work. And we’ll miss the lessons. Before we can go on, we must feel our sadness about what we lost. Losses demand acceptance.
Eventually life will send you new people and new dreams. Cherish this time to grow and learn. Cherish what the universe is teaching you now.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Let go of unreasonable fears
We had planned on this day for a month. Now it had finally arrived. Mr friend and I were going kayaking in the ocean– it was going to be a first for us both.
We had the kayak and the life preservers. He showed up at the house, ready to go. The sun was shining, and the surf was pounding gently enough to be safe. He had gotten himself all ready for his event. He was wearing a hat, a Hawaiian shirt, and big floppy sandals on his feet.
We put on our life jackets. The man showed up at the door to train us in the proper way to kayak. First it was my turn. I was scared, but not too scared. I knew if we turned over, I’d just float.
I jumped in. The instructor pushed us out before the big wave came. He jumped in. We paddled like heck. When the big wave came, I yelled “ahh” and raised my oar high over my head, like the man said, to be safe. We went through three more of these waves. They looked big. I was scared each time. But soon we passed the surf, and we came to a quiet, clear place. We paddled around for a while. Then it was time to go back to shore and train my friend. I was excited. A little more training, and my friend and I would be ready to go out on the boat together.
I got out of the kayak. My instructor held the boat. My friend began to climb in, so they could push out. Just then a wave came. My friend got nervous and shaky. He screamed. The boat turned over. He fell out.
He lay there in the surf. The boat slipped over close to his head. He started screaming some more.
“It’s just a piece of plastic,” I said quietly. “All you have to do is move it away.”
“I’m drowning,” he said, gasping mouthfuls of water.
“No, your not,” I said. “You’re still on the shore. You’ve got water in your mouth from screaming. All you really need to do is sit up.”
My friend sat up. The instructor politely said the waves were getting a little high, and he didn’t think he’d be able to train my friend that day, and then he left. My friend and I quietly put the kayak away.
Sometimes, saying woohoo means working through our fears. Fear can be a good thing. It can signal danger and protect us. Sometimes our fears are bigger than life and bigger than they need be.
Many of us have panic and anxiety attacks. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But sometimes we can calm ourselves down by reinforcing a little reality. Maybe we’re not really drowning after all. Maybe all we have to do to save our lives is just sit up.
Explain to yourself that your fears are unrealistic and you don’t need to be that afraid. Instead of screaming for help and upsetting yourself, learn to calm yourself down.
God, help me let go of my unreasonable fears, the ones that are preventing me from living my life.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?
Today I Pray
May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the “why’s” of my blaming.
Today I Will Remember
Blame-saying
Is game-playing
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One More Day
Every calamity is a spur and valuable hint. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Events which felt like calamities when we were young have little importance as we get older. Experiences we have labeled “disastrous” — not having a date for the prom or failing a math test — now are unimportant or possible even amusing.
Understanding that many events have only brief importance can help us view current problems more realistically. Not having enough money at the end of the month, family disagreements, and even a flare-up or worsening of a chronic illness are all very important, and they require our attention or adjustment. But we deal with these problems better because we’re learned that few, if any, problems are really “disastrous” They’re inconvenient or even painful, but our lives can accommodate them. We go on.
I won’t see calamities in today’s problems and inconveniences.
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Food For Thought
Giving Thanks
I am a grateful compulsive overeater, abstaining just for today. I am thankful for my life, for the chance to grow and solve problems and love and enjoy what is beautiful. I give thanks for the insights, which have come out of struggle and despair.
I am thankful for OA. Without it, I would still be isolated in a hopeless attempt to control overeating my way, by myself. I give thanks for the serenity and joy which increase daily as I follow the OA program. I give thanks for the love and support, which come to me from fellow members.
Especially, I am thankful for abstinence. By choosing and accepting this gift, I enter a new world of freedom. No longer am I driven by compulsion. I give thanks for the work and play and love which abstinence makes possible.
Accept my thanks.
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One Day At A Time
~ Love ~
The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.
Victor Hugo
All of my life I felt unloved. Deep in my soul I was also convinced that I was unworthy of love. Nonetheless I craved love deeply.
In a desperate attempt to feel OK, I forsook the God of my childhood and declared that there was no God. I spiralled further and further into the depths of despair, unable to feel or give love. In my downward spiral, I turned to food to block feelings of unworthiness.
I entered Program dying of addiction as well as the deep sorrow of the loveless. I thought I was different from everyone else, that no one could possibly understand me. I had no peers, no real friends.
However, once in Program I found others just like me! I started to belong and to develop true friendships. In my desire to belong, I worked the Twelve Steps as others did and found a God of My Understanding. GOMU is a loving God. This God supports and guides me while as helping me learn to give and receive love. Love has brought me back to life.
One day at a time ...
Hand-in-hand with my Higher Power, I love and am loved.
~ Michel ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that HE DOES NOT HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOUR CONCEPTION OF GOD. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. THE MAIN THING IS THAT HE BE WILLING TO BELIEVE IN A POWER GREATER THAN HIMSELF AND THAT HE LIVE BY SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES. - Pg. 93 - Working With Others
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
One choice you can make in the coming days is to simply allow the loss of your addiction to be true. You will be an emotional orphan for only a short time, because you have a new and loving family in the fellowship.
I reach out to my Spiritual Source for a new understanding, as I adjust to new emotional alliances.
Little Dreams
Today I will do some small thing to make my day more beautiful and positive. I only need to do a little better. I don't need to reach for the moon or become the perfect anything. Achieving little dreams will enhance my sense of self and move me a bit forward. They will add up. They give me something positive to imagine. Little dreams are manageable, they don't overwhelm me and make me feel like I am constantly failing or running in place. They let me feel like I've achieved something real and purposeful. They give my day a positive focus. I will dream a little dream today. I will do something positive that gets me closer to a goal or makes a contribution to my world. Rather than complain about what isn't here that I want, I will take baby steps to create something.
I will take one small step
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
When do you begin helping a newcomer? When you see a newcomer. Don't sweat it; just do it.
When I work with a drunk, the drunk I'm working on is me.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Don't force solutions.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
As I gently pull back each layer that has been blocking me from being the best of who I am, I dare look a bit further and then a bit further yet. I know that I am not alone on this path and God is guiding me every inch of the way.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I looked for God all over. And that's where I found him; All over. - Phil P.
bluidkiti
01-24-2024, 07:07 AM
February 3
Daily Reflections
FILLING THE VOID
We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now
believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater
than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is
willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his
way.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47
I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was
emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued
Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless
academic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge was
my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely
another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer
man's solution to life's problems and the solution was alcohol. In
spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was
through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and
meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The
great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I
had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God's love.
There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in
A.A.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
By drinking, we escaped from boredom for a while. We almost forgot
our troubles. But when we sobered up, our troubles were twice as
bad. Drinking had only made them worse. In A.A., we really escape
boredom. Nobody's bored at an A.A. meeting. We stick around after
it's over and we hate to leave. Drinking gave us a temporary feeling
of importance. When we're drinking, we kid ourselves into thinking
we are somebody. We tell tall stories to build ourselves up. In A.A.,
we don't want that kind of self-importance. We have real
self-respect and honesty and humility. Have I found something much
better and more satisfactory than drinking?
Meditation For The Day
I believe that my faith and God's power can accomplish anything in
human relationships. There is no limit to what these two things can
do in this field. Only believe, and anything can happen. Saint Paul
said; "I can do all things through Him who strengtheneth me." All
walls that divide you from other human beings can fall by your faith
and God's power. These are the two essentials. Everyone can be
moved by these.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may try to strengthen my faith day by day. I pray that I
may rely more and more on God's power.
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As Bill Sees It
"Not Allied With Any Sect . . .", p. 34
"While A.A. has restored thousands of poor Christians to their
churches, and has made believers out of atheists and agnostics, it has
also made good A.A.'s out of those belonging to the Buddhist, Islamic,
and Jewish faiths. For example, we question very much whether our
Buddhist members in Japan would ever have joined this Society had
A.A. officially stamped itself a strictly Christian movement.
"You can easily convince yourself of this by imagining that A.A. started
among the Buddhists and that they then told you you couldn't join them
unless you became a Buddhist, too. If you were a Christian alcoholic
under these circumstances, you might well turn your face to the wall and
die."
Letter, 1954
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Walk In Dry Places
No Coincidences_____Guidance
The early history of AA still sparkles with fortunate coincidences that
moved the fellowship forward. It was miraculous, for example, that Bill W's
telephone call in 1935 was to a woman who "just happened" to know Dr. Bob, a
suffering alcoholic.
When we are in tune with AA's spiritual program, we know with absolute
certainty that there really are no coincidences. Our Higher Power is in charge
and all things really are working together for good, even though this is not
always apparent at first.
If we let this Higher Power guide and direct our lives, we will be
thrilled and delighted by a number of wonder coincidences. We may happen to pick up
the magazine or book that gives us information and meet a person whose advice
changes our lives. Or we follow a hunch and make an unusual decision that
leads to a number of opportunities we never dreamed of.
We cannot force these fortunate "coincidences" to happen or direct their
course, except by following the program every day. But we never need fret
about the future if we have placed our lives in God's hands. There are no
coincidences…. Only the hand of God ceaselessly at work.
I will work this day as if everything depended on me, but at the same
time I will know that everything really depends on God.
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Keep It Simple
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.---Erma Bombeck
We often hear, "Stick with the winners." Not everyone in Twelve Step meetings is there for recovery.. But many members follow a Twelve Step way of living. We need to find those people. This is really true when it comes to finding a sponsor. Look for a sponsor who gets good things from his or her program. Why pick a sponsor who isn't happy in the program? Recovery is hard work. You deserve the best. Find the best sponsor you can. Remember, ours is a selfish program. we're fighting for our lives.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me find the best in my program. Help me find a good sponsor, so we can get as much from each other and this program as we can.
Today's Action: Today I'll think about what it means to have a good sponsor.
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Each Day a New Beginning
When we begin to take our failures non-seriously, it means we are ceasing to be afraid of them. It is of immense importance to learn to laugh at ourselves. --Katherine Mansfield
Perfectionism and its control over our lives stands seriously in the way of our growth and well-being, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Life's lessons come through failures probably more than successes. Through our failures we learn humility. We learn to look to others for help and guidance. We learn how to let others fail, too. We fail because we are human.
When we no longer fear failure, we are free to attempt greater feats. We dare to learn more, and life is fuller for it--not just our own lives, but the lives that we touch.
Laughter over our mistakes eases the risk of trying again. Laughter keeps us young, and the lighthearted find more pleasure in each day.
I will fail at something I try today. I can laugh about it, though. My laughter will open the way to another try.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 6 - INTO ACTION
If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.
p. 87
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
Here I was, thirty-nine years old and a complete washout. Nothing had worked. Mother would take me in only if I would stay locked in a small storeroom and give her my clothes and shoes. We had played this game before. That is the way Jackie found me, lying on a cot in my skivvies, with hot and cold sweats, pounding heart and that awful itchy scratchiness all over. Somehow I had always managed to avoid D.T.'s.
p. 219
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living. Quite characteristically, we had gone all out in confusing the ends with the means. Instead of regarding the satisfaction of our material desires as the means by which we could live and function as human beings, we had taken these satisfactions to be the final end and aim of life.
p. 71
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Decide to be happy, knowing it's an attitude, a habit gained from daily practice, and not a result or payoff. --Denis Waitley
I depend on God, as God has a plan for my life. --Shelley
If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. --Lao Tzu
Only if we follow can God lead the way. --Sandra Roberts Still
To live with the least amount of frustration, you must remind yourself that everything always works out for the best.
Make the most of every situation, especially those you dread.
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
STATISTICS
"There are three kinds of lies,
lies, damned lies and statistics."
-- Benjamin Disraeli
I used to be able to hide behind anything --- even statistics. Figures,
and the quoting of figures, can expand the ego and keep you sick.
They can confuse the issues by making everything complicated.
In the field of alcoholism statistics are important for comparison and
research but they can never be a substitute for a "rigorous honesty"
that is based upon personal experience. I do not think that statistics
alone stopped a person from drinking, but the sharing of a personal
suffering and victory can produce an identification that leads to
change.
As a recovering alcoholic I need to know the statistics concerning my
disease but I also need to know that today's recovery is based upon
yesterday's honest sharing.
Let me always see the faces behind the numbers.
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"He will cover you with his feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalms 91:4
I sought the Lord and He answered me. Psalm 34:4
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you--you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?' or ‘What will we drink?' or ‘What will we wear?' For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today. Matthew 6:25-34
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Daily Inspiration
As God's children we have inherited all of His promises. Faith in You, Lord, refreshes my soul as nothing else can.
To have courage, think courageous, act courageous, and pray to God for courage. Lord, You are full of love for all who come to You.
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NA Just For Today
We Need Each Other
"Anyone may join us, regardless of age, race, sexual identity creed, religion, or lack of religion."
Basic Text p. 9
Addiction closed our minds to anything new or different. We didn't need anyone or anything, we thought. There was nothing of value to be found in anyone from a different neighborhood, a different racial or ethnic background, or a different social or economic class. We may have thought that if it was different, it was bad.
In recovery, we can't afford such attitudes. We came to NA because our very best thinking had gotten us nowhere. We must open our minds to experience that works, no matter where it comes from, if we hope to grow in our recovery.
Regardless of our personal backgrounds, we all have two things in common with one another in NA that we share with no one else: our disease, and our recovery. We depend on one another for our shared experience—and the broader that experience, the better. We need every bit of experience, every different angle on our program we can find to meet the many challenges of living clean.
Recovery often isn't easy. The strength we need to recover, we draw from our fellow NA members. Today, we are grateful for the diversity of our group's membership, for in that diversity we find our strength.
Just for today: I know that the more diverse my groups experience is, the better able my group will be to offer me support in the different circumstances I find myself facing. Today, I welcome addicts from all backgrounds to my home group.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole . . . nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it . . .. It was a hobbithole, and that means comfort. —J. R. R. Tolkien
Home is a place of comfort. When we go away and have to adjust to a different bed and someone else's cooking, we quickly discover how comfortable our own home is. Comfort in a home is more than just a familiar bed and favorite food; it is something we can give to each other. We can make home a place where we can relax and be ourselves without fear of rejection.
Each of us needs a special little place where we can come and seek refuge from the world, our own little "fort." Children are often busy making "forts," but all of us in the family need to work at making the place where we live together a fort where we can all gather for rest.
What can I add to our comfort today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Compassion is ... a spirituality and a way of living and walking through life. It is the way we treat all there is in life ourselves, our bodies, our imaginations and dreams, our neighbors, our enemies.... Compassion is a spirituality as if creation mattered. It is treating all creation as holy and as divine..., which is what it is. --Matthew Fox
In our search for growth, serenity, and contentment, we can start at a very practical level. Simply treat ourselves, inside and out, and everything around us in a respectful and caring way. Many men have not learned how to do that. Some of us have learned to accept abuse and pain, or to be tough and abusive.
We can learn about being in a healthy relationship, about befriending ourselves and others and all of creation. With practice, we will learn more and more about having compassion. As we do, our self-centeredness and our self-pity will fall away.
Today, I will be compassionate toward each of the details of creation, and practice acceptance both within and. outside myself.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Rejecting Shame
Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional families.
Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.
Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn't okay. Shame is a no win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can't change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.
What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.
Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves.
Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It's okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It's okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It's okay to be human and cherish our humanness.
Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.
Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame's trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it's okay to be who I am.
I am no longer a victim of my past. I am free to move in new directions today. I am at choice in my life. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Break Through Your Resistance
We sometimes resist new lessons. And what we resist the most is likely to be what we most need to learn.
Our lessons usually come with inner conflict. The action we should be taking, the idea we should be learning is sometimes hidden behind a wall of resistance. There’s a border, a barrier we need to cross to get into the heart of the lesson. Most times, that barrier is within us. Lessons require us to let go of old feelings, old beliefs. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be lessons. We’d already know them. Sometimes, the very thing we feel guiltiest about doing, the place we’re most resistant to visiting, the person we’re most convinced we shouldn’t contact, or the behavior we’re tormenting ourselves most about is exactly what we need to be doing.
And more often than not, the lesson we’re learning is not what we think it is. We need to embrace the surprise element of life– embrace the mystery of life as it unfolds, as the lessons appear, as we grow and change.
Do what you need to do to break through your resistance. Often that means simply seeing your resistance for what it is. Remember that the point of greatest resistance is often the place of greatest learning.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Deal with panic and anxiety
I can still remember the day. It was shortly after my divorce. I was a single parent with no money, and two young children. It came upon me suddenly, out of the blue. I couldn’t breathe. My chest hurt. My heart hurt. I couldn’t stop it. I panicked. The more I panicked, the worst it got.
I called 911. The ambulance came. They gave me some oxygen, then politely told me not to worry; it was just a panic attack. I had experienced another one of those attacks, a long time ago. Right after I first married the children’s father, I had shut myself down from anxiety. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak from the fear I felt.
Many people experience panic and anxiety attacks. Maybe it’s happened to you. Maybe you’ve had only one or two incidents of it; maybe panic and anxiety make regular appearances in your life. Most people I’ve met have experienced fear.
These are a few little clues I’ve learned that have helped me to deal with my own attacks.
. Breathe. Whenever you panic, our breath comes in shallow, awkward spurts. Be deliberately breathing slowly and calmly, we can slow our panc down. We feed it by breathing fast. We put our bodies on hyperalert. If we breath as though we’re relaxed, our bodies will start slowing down.
. Don’t respond to your panic with more fear. Sometimes we double what we’re going through by having an emotional reaction to our initial reaction. We’re afraid, because we’re feeling fear. Let yourself go through the original feeling without reacting to yourself.
. Instead of focusing on your fear, let yourself be aware that you’re feeling it, but deliberately do something that calms you down. You won’t want to do this. Your panic will want you to do something else, something that feeds panic and makes it grow. Do something calming and quiet, even though that activity doesn’t feel right to you. It could be reading a meditation, listening to some quiet music, taking a shower, or saying a prayer. We all have things that help calm us down. Find something that works for you.
If panic and anxiety are a continual problem, seek professional help. But if they are only isolated incidents in your life, you may be able to help yourself.
One tool that has never let me down when it comes to anxiety and fear is working Step One of the Twelve Step program. I admit that I’m powerless over my panic and fear, and my life has become unamangeable. Then I ask God what I need to do next.
Don’t let your fears run your life. Make it a goal to get through them. Ask them what they’re trying to tell you. You may be on a path that’s new, and your body is just reacting to that. There may be a hidden emotion underneath all this fear, something you’d rather not see. Or maybe you and your life are just changing so fast that everything in your world is brand new. Be gentle and loving with yourself and others.
God, help me welcome all the new experiences in my life. Give me the courage to calmly walk my path today, knowing I’m right where I need to be.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
The Program enables us to discover two roadblocks that keep us from seeing the value and comfort of the spiritual approach: self-justification and self-righteousness. The first grimly assures me that I’m always right. The second mistakenly comforts me with the delusion that I’m better than other people — “holier than thou.” Just for Today, will I pause abruptly while rationalizing and ask myself, “Why am I doing this? Is this self-justification really honest?”
Today I Pray
May I overcome the need to be “always right” and know the cleansing feeling of release that comes with admitting, openly, a mistake. May I be wary of setting myself up as an example of self-control and fortitude, and give credit where it is due — to a Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember
To err is human, but I need to admit it.
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One More Day
Every new adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem…. – Eric Hoffer
Wouldn’t it be nice if our self-esteem could be as firmly rooted as our personalities seem to have been by the time we started school? Unfortunately that’s not often the case. Self-esteem is very delicate and remains subject to the whims of all external circumstances including how people act toward us and how we react, in turn, to them.
An illness that changes how we look or how we think of ourselves can be continually demanding. Fighting the battle to maintain a good self-image requires adjustments of our time and goals. Making these adjustments turns our disappointments into chances for success.
I must continue to work on being a whole person and try to develop all my facets — spiritual, emotional, and physical.
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Food For Thought
Food Is Not the Only Problem
The longer we are in OA, the more we realize that it is not only food which is our problem, but life. Our eating problem is also a living problem. As we maintain abstinence from compulsive overeating, our way of living changes.
Many of us have lived too much for ourselves and by ourselves. It is our egocentricity which has been our undoing. We have accepted no authority higher than our own whim and impulse, and we have been angry and depressed when people and events did not follow our preferences. Eating was an area in which we exerted our omnipotence, and appetite was our god.
When we are willing to acknowledge our dependency upon a Power greater than ourselves and when we become committed to abstinence from compulsive overeating, our living is put in order. When we eat right, we live right.
Order my living so that I may eat to serve You.
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One Day At A Time
~ Being Joyful ~
As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears.
Never let me become so indifferent that I will fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them forget,
at least momentarily, the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment, may I hear You whisper:
"When you made My people smile, you made Me smile."
A Clown's Prayer (Author Unknown)
I have made so many people angry with me, so many people cry, so many people worry and despair of me. So many people have been resentful of me. My disease dictated how I lived my life, if you could call it living.
Then I came to this program and I found a new way to live, and I found joy such as I have never found before, anywhere. The program taught me not to take life so seriously. The Big Book of AA tells me on page 132, "But we are not a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life." I need to remember that. I need to work my steps, stay in conscious contact with my Higher Power, but boy oh boy, do I ever need to remember that I need to learn that I am not a bad person getting good, just a sick person getting well. Even sick people have fun. I'm a sick person recovering on a daily basis from a terminal disease that was killing me, but recovery snatched me from the brink of death. Now I can't help but see the beauty of this crazy, wonderful world we live in.
One day at a time ...
I am warmed and my heart sings at the thought that today I have made someone smile. Please, dear God, let me continue to do so.
~ Marlene ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and exaggerated. You can see that he really does love you with his better self. Of course, there is such a thing as incompatibility, but in nearly every instance the alcoholic only seems to be unloving and inconsiderate; it is usually because he is warped and sickened that he says and does these appalling things. Today most of our men are better husbands and fathers than ever before. - Pg. 108 - To Wives
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
In this moment you may feel the most human and most powerless time of your entire life. In the coming weeks and months, many changes will sweep over your life and your person. Try not to hide from the profound changes, but to understand them.
Keep me steady that I may understand my world as it changes from day to day and even from moment to moment.
Giving
Today I give with both hands. Giving for its own sake is the spiritual way and actually releases the gift. When I give with one hand and take with the other, I give only half of what I have and receive only half of what might be given to me. I limit myself in two ways. Somehow the universe responds to clear intention. When I fully release a gift, it goes to where it is supposed to go and what returns to me comes when and how it is right.
I am able to give with both hands
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Life on earth is one of polarity. We feel the comfort of love because we know the pain of rejection; we know the satisfaction of a full belly because we know the emptiness of hunger. Without darkness we can't appreciate the light; without cold we can't cherish the warmth. We know the joy of recovery because we came from the depths of despair.
I am not what I am in spite of my disease; I am what I am because of it.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Alcoholics and addicts - fast talkers, slow thinkers.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I am no longer a victim of my past. I am free to move in new directions today. I am at choice in my life.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
We're all rebels who want to be hugged. - Charlie C.
bluidkiti
01-28-2024, 08:22 AM
February 4
Daily Reflections
WHEN FAITH IS MISSING
Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or
rejected faith than to those who never had any faith
at all, for they think they have faith and found it
wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way
of no faith.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28
I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately
defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final
drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no
coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom
harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I
came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have
survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous.
Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives
were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my
faith was resurrected.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Treating others to drinks gave us a kind of satisfaction.
We liked to say, "Have a drink on me." But we were not
really doing the other people a favor. We were only
helping them to get drunk, especially if they happened to
be an alcoholic. In A.A., we really try to help other
alcoholics. We build them up instead of tearing them
down. Drinking created a sort of fellowship. But it
really was a false fellowship, because it was based
on selfishness. We used our drinking companions for
our own pleasure. In A.A., we have real fellowship,
based on unselfishness and a desire to help each other.
And we make real friends, not fair weather friends. With
sobriety, have I got everything that drinking's got, without
the headaches?
Meditation For The Day
I know that God cannot teach anyone who is trusting in a
crutch. I will throw away the crutch of alcohol and walk
in God's power and spirit. God's power will so
invigorate me that I shall indeed walk on to victory.
There is never any limit to God's power. I will go step
by step, one day at a time. God's will shall be revealed
to me as I go forward.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may have more and more dependence on God.
I pray that I may throw away my alcohol crutch and let
God's power take its place.
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As Bill Sees It
Suffering Transmuted, p. 35
"A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the word. It is a story
of suffering transmuted, under grace, into spiritual progress."
<< << << >> >> >>
For Dr. Bob, the insatiable craving for alcohol was evidently a physical
phenomenon which bedeviled several of his first years in A.A., a time
when only days and nights of carrying the message to other alcoholics
could cause him to forget about drinking. Although his craving was
hard to withstand, it doubtless did account for some part of the intense
incentive that went into forming Akron's Group Number One.
Bob's spiritual release did not come easily; it was to be painfully slow. It
always entailed the hardest kind of work and the sharpest vigilance.
1. Letter, 1959
2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 69
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Walk In Dry Places
The Rewards of Honesty
Honesty
Sometimes we think that honesty is simply too painful and demanding---- all sacrifice with no gain. If we are completely honest with ourselves, however, the results can only be positive.
What are the advantages of being entirely honest about our motives and feelings? One benefit is that we never will have to face the disillusionment and humiliation that come from self-deception. Surely we had enough of that while drinking.
Honesty also speaks for itself. People know intuitively when a person is completely honest, and they are drawn to that person because of it. An honest AA member-one who has truly faced personal faults---- also becomes an example to others.
The honest person has self-respect and a clear conscious. In real honesty, there is no inner struggle to keep up appearances or to pretend we are anybody except ourselves.
Honesty makes us comfortable rather than pained, relaxed rather than anxious, and decisive rather than confused. These are rich rewards for people who once lived in the false world of alcoholism.
I'll try to be honest in all things today. In any case, I will at least be honest with my self about my true motives and feelings.
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Keep It Simple
We do not remember days, we remember moments.----Cesare Pavese
It's the moment that's important. Each moment holds choice. Our spirits grow through working our program moment to moment. Moments lead to days, days to years, and years to a life of honest recovery.
It will be the moments of choice that we remember. The moment we call a friend instead of being alone.
The moment we decide to go for a walk instead of arguing with our partner. The moment we decide to go to an extra meeting instead of drinking or using other drugs. The moments lead us to our Higher Power.
These moments teach us that we're human, that we need others. At these moments, we know others care about us--our joys, and our struggles.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember that my recovery is made up of many moments of choice.
Today’s Action: I'll look back over the last twenty-four hours. What moments come to mind? Why were they important to me.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Genius is the talent for seeing things straight. It is seeing things in a straight line without any bend or break or aberration of sight, seeing them as they are, without any warping of vision. --Maude Adams
We are learning, each day of our abstinence, to see more clearly what lies before us. Less and less are we hampered by our own selfish needs, distorting that which we face. We all have within us the talent for seeing things as they really are. But it is a process that takes practice, a process of turning within to the untapped talent which is one of the gifts of a spiritual life.
We are spiritual entities, one and all. And the genius to see as God sees is ours for the asking. This program is paving our way. Each day it becomes easier to live an honest life. Each day we trust more the people we encounter. And each day we take greater risks being our true selves.
The need to distort that which we see ahead lessens, as we begin reaping the benefits of the honest, caring, spirit-filled life. Our unhealthy egos stood in our way in the past. And they can get in the way even now, if we forget to look ahead with the eyes of our inner genius.
My path today is straight, clean, and love-filled, if I choose to follow my genius.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 6 - INTO ACTION
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer
running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
It works--it really does.
We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.
But this is not all. There is action and more action. “Faith without works is dead.” The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve.
pp. 87-88
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
I seriously doubt I ever would have asked for help, but Fitz, an old school friend of mine, had persuaded Jackie to call on me. Had he come two or three days later I think I would have thrown him out, but he hit when I was open for anything.
Jackie arrived about seven in the evening and talked until three a.m. I don't remember much of what he said, but I did realize that here was another guy exactly like me; he had been in the same laughing academies and the same jails, known the same loss of jobs; same frustrations, same boredom and the same loneliness. If anything, he had known all of them better and more often than I. Yet he was happy, relaxed, confident and laughing. That night for the first time in my life I really let down my hair and admitted my general loneliness. Jackie told me about a group of fellows in New York, of whom my old friend Fitz was one, who had the same problem I had, and who by working together to help each other were not now drinking and were happy like himself. He said something about God or a Higher Power, but I brushed that off--that was for the birds, not for me. Little more of our talk stayed in my memory, but I do know I slept the rest of the night while before I had never known what a real night's sleep was.
pp. 219-220
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
True, most of us thought good character was desirable, but obviously good character was something one needed to get on with the business of being self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality, we'd stand a better chance of getting what we really wanted. But whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness. Seldom did we look at character-building as something desirable in itself, something we would like to strive for whether our instinctual needs were met or not. We never thought of making honesty, tolerance, and true love of man and God the daily basis of living.
pp. 71-72
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If we had no Winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; If we did not sometimes taste the adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.
--Anne Bradstreet
"Change is what happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go!" --Anonymous
Some flowers grow best in the sun; others do well in the shade. God plants us where we grow best. --Unknown
To go fast, row slowly. --Norman Vincent Peale
"Storms make trees take deeper roots." --Claude McDonald
God's love and grace are bigger than all our worries. --Denise DeKemper
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
INTELLIGENCE
"The brighter you are, the more
you have to learn."
-- Don Herold
The one thing I know in sobriety is how much I do not know! I thought
I knew every thing about God because I was a priest, only to discover
that I had made Him a prisoner of the Church. Once I was willing to
free Him from my prison, I discovered a freedom and awareness that
daily fascinates and astounds me.
Today I see that the glory of God shines within my pain, within my
loneliness, within my confusion, and the acceptance of my disease is the
key to recovery. Today the suffering enables me to discover a realistic
spirituality --- and it is okay to be confused!
With each new day, Lord, let me learn something --- even if it is that I
have not learned anything that day!
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"Nevertheless we, according to His promise, look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells." 2 Peter 3:13
You were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light. Ephesians 5:8
"I will instruct you and teach you." Psalm 32:8
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Daily Inspiration
One of life's greatest rewards is not what we get, but what we become. Lord, teach me as I am able to learn and give me the courage to be all that I can.
When we have to justify our actions, it may be that our actions are not just. Lord, Your will is goodness. May I always have the strength and courage to choose Your way so that I can simplify my life and enjoy the peace of Your presence.
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NA Just For Today
Feeling Good Isn't The Point
"For us, recovery is more than just pleasure."
Basic Text p. 42
In our active addiction, most of us knew exactly how we were going to feel from one day to the next. All we had to do was read the label on the bottle or know what was in the bag. We planned our feelings, and our goal for each day was to feel good.
In recovery, we're liable to feel anything from one day to the next, even from one minute to the next. We may feel energetic and happy in the morning, then strangely let down and sad in the afternoon. Because we no longer plan our feelings for the day each morning, we could end up having feelings that are somewhat inconvenient, like feeling tired in the morning and wide-awake at bedtime.
Of course, there's always the possibility we could feel good, but that isn't the point. Today, our main concern is not feeling good but learning to understand and deal with our feelings, no matter what they are. We do this by working the steps and sharing our feelings with others.
Just for today: I will accept my feelings, whatever they may be, just as they are. I will practice the program and learn to live with my feelings.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The shy man usually finds that he has been shy without cause, and that, in practice, no one takes the slightest notice of him. --Robert Lynd
We sometimes feel self-conscious in front of others. It may be that we've just gotten braces or a new haircut and we're afraid everyone will stare at us. We stop smiling and talk with our heads bowed. Many people have worn braces and many more will. We need not be ashamed just because we feel different. By beginning to smile again we will see how many people really didn't notice our braces, or our haircuts, or anything but what they see inside us.
All we need to do is lift our heads and smile. We will be amazed to find how little even our best friends notice about the externals, the things that don't really matter. Who we are is far more noticeable and far more important than what we look like. A smile at shy times helps us accept ourselves as others do.
What makes me shy?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone. --Carlos Castaneda
Were we offended by someone today? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.
Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position, which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.
How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better men, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.
I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Enjoying Recovery
What a journey!
This process of growth and change takes us along an ever-changing road. Sometimes the way is hard and craggy. Sometimes we climb mountains. Sometimes we slide down the other side on a toboggan.
Sometimes we rest.
Sometimes we grope through the darkness. Sometimes we're blinded by sunlight.
At times many may walk with us on the road; sometimes we feel nearly alone.
Ever changing, always interesting, always leading someplace better, someplace good.
What a journey!
Today, God, help me relax and enjoy the scenery. Help me know I'm right where I need to be on my journey.
Today I look within to see what is keeping me stuck. I know I cannot change unless I know what there is to change. I feel energized and empowered to move forward. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
See How Powerful You Are
People who believe they’re victims get to be right. Each experience they have convinces them of that. They don’t open themselves to the lessons, the growth, and the beauty of each situation they encounter. All they can see is their victimization.
Many of us have done the hard work to shift our belief system about being a victim. As we did that, we noticed that the scenery in our lives changed. When we believe something different, we get to see something different.
People who believe they have powers get to be right,too. Although we know there is much in life we can’t control, we also know we have the power to think, to feel, to choose, and to take responsibility for ourselves and our lives. We’re discovering our creative powers, and our powers to love, including our power to love ourselves. We’ve embraced our powers to grow, to change, to move forward. We know we have the power to claim our lives and take responsibility for ourselves in any situation life brings. Although life may deal us certain hard blows, we’ve learned to see beyond that. We see life’s beauty, gifts, and lessons, and its mysterious and sometimes magical nature.
On the road to freedom we may have made a stopover. We believed we were victims and we got to be right. Now, our journey has led us someplace else. We know we have powers, we know we have choices. And we no longer need to be right. Just free.
See how powerful you are!
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More Language Of Letting Go
Don’t let fear throw you off balance
Lay a two-by-four on the ground and walk its length without falling off. Easy, isn’t it? Now place a couple of bricks under the two-by-four, raising it off the ground by a few inches. Walk it again. A little harder this time? Now imagine that same two-by-four suspended at the height of your house with no safety net under it. Would you care to try again?
The higher the stakes, the harder it is to maintain our balance. That’s what fear does in our lives.
When we’re faced with simple situations in life, it’s easy to do the right thing. But as the stakes get higher and higher, it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on the task. We imagine “what is” and what might happen if we fail.
Look at the two-by-fours that you have to cross every day in your life. Are you allowing fear of a worst-case scenario to upset your balance? Put the situation back on the ground. Rarely will failure result in permanent damage. Remove the fear that your mind has created around the possibility of failure and just walk along the plank.
God, help me do the tasks that I have to without the balance-upsetting confusion brought by fear. Help me do what is right simply and easily each day.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
Rare is the recovering alcoholic who will now dispute the fact that denial is a primary symptom of the illness. The Program teaches us that alcoholism is the only illness which actually tells the afflicted person that he or she really isn’t sick at all. Not surprisingly, then, our lives as practicing alcoholics were characterized by endless rationalization, countless alibis and in short, a steadfast unwillingness to accept the fact that we were, without question, bodily and mentally different from our fellows. Have I conceded to my innermost self that I am truly powerless over alcohol?
Today I Pray
May The Program’s First Step be not half-hearted for me, but a total admission of powerlessness over my addiction. May I rid myself of that first symptom — denial — which refuses to recognize any other symptom of my disease.
Today I Will Remember
Deny denial.
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One More Day
A simple grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer.
– Gotthold Ephraim Lessing
Can we picture ourselves as small children, bouncing back out of bed to add just one more, “and also bless my teddy bear, and my . . . “? Most of us prayed because that’s what we were taught to do. We didn’t understand many of the reasons, but it felt good and made us feel safe too.
We form new habits as grown-ups. Perhaps prayer isn’t part of our day anymore. We may start to pray only when we need to ask for something. It is within our reach to develop the habit of prayer once again. There may be comfort in the habit of giving thanks every day … for what good health we do enjoy … for the beauty of nature … for our family and friends.
I will use prayer as one of the ways I can express myself and live a fulfilling life.
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Food For Thought
Don't Relax!
It requires extra effort to maintain abstinence during a particularly difficult time when we are especially tempted. Entertaining guests, visiting family, coping with a crisis - there are some times when it seems to take every ounce of strength we have to stay abstinent.
When the crisis has passed, we breathe a sigh of relief and are grateful that life is back to normal. This, for many of us, is the danger point. Having made it through the difficult situation, we may feel that we are now safe and can let down our guard. We may even feel that we deserve a reward for having said no to temptation.
Let's remember that the best reward is continued abstinence. There is no time when we are safe from compulsive overeating. We are always one bite away from a binge. We may never relax vigilance over our thoughts and actions.
When we are weary, let's remember that the strength we need comes not from ourselves but from our Higher Power. Let's recharge our batteries with prayer, meditation, and contact with other OA members.
Sustain me, Lord, when I am tempted to give up.
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One Day At A Time
~ Laughter ~
Laughter can be more satisfying than honor;
more precious than money;
more heart-cleansing than prayer.
Harriet Rochlin
For as long as I can remember I've always been a serious person. I can't remember ever doing something just for fun or to have a laugh. There always had to be a purpose for what I did in my life, or else it was of no value. As for being able to laugh at myself, that wasn't even in my frame of reference. I was so super-sensitive that I'd get upset if someone made fun of me, as it would always make me feel "less than" or stupid.
So when I came into the doors of my first Twelve Step meeting, I was amazed that, even though all the people I met had problems around food, they were still able to look at their mistakes and realize that that didn't make them a bad person. But even more heartwarming was the fact that I heard laughter in those rooms. Before, I'd always thought that when someone laughed at what I said, they were laughing at me, and that would reinforce my feelings of inadequacy.
The lessons I'm learning here are not easy ones and there are still times when my old behaviors of being overly sensitive creep in, but I know that recovery is a process, and as I grow in the program, it will get better.
One day at a time ...
As I practice the program and work the steps, I am becoming more able to laugh at myself and not always look at the dark side of life. What a gift it has been to start enjoying life!
~ Sharon ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
AFTER ALL, OUR PROBLEMS WERE OF OUR OWN MAKING. BOTTLES WERE ONLY A SYMBOL. BESIDES, WE HAVE STOPPED FIGHTING ANYBODY OR ANYTHING. WE HAVE TO! - Pg. 103 - Working With Others
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Your whole life has turned upside down and it's time for a good cry. Have a good cry, wash out your heart. If you keep it inside it'll tear you apart.' - Dr. Hook
I follow my own inner path for serenity. When it's time to cry, my spirit lets me know and I allow tears.
It's the Little Things
It's the little things that count, that add up to make a life, that weave themselves into the fabric of my day and make it feel whole. My morning routines, the activities of my day the people I encounter and share my time with. Little things like a pleasant walk, exercise, my daily errands and even eating my favorite foods all come together to make my day. As I move through my day today, I will take time to notice and be grateful for whatever gives me pleasure. I will say a quiet thank you for all that life is handing me.
I have an Attitude of Gratitude
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
We find that the difference between adventure and disaster usually boils down to attitude. It's like the glass half full or half empty. Is it a problem or an opportunity; an obstruction or a challenge for growth? The way you choose to see it makes all the difference.
I don't see thing as they are, I see things as I am.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
You have to ask yourself, What would an adult do in this situation?
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I look within to see what is keeping me stuck. I know I cannot change unless I know what there is to change. I feel energized and empowered to move forward.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
You hear people say; 'I do Steps 1,2,and 3 everyday.' And that sounds so good the newcomer hears that and dies. Because all they've told you is they're getting ready to begin. It's like they make a decision to be pilots and them spend the rest of their lives in ground school. - Ted H.
bluidkiti
01-28-2024, 08:25 AM
February 5
Daily Reflections
A GLORIOUS RELEASE
"The minute I stopped arguing, I could begin to see
and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very
gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can't say
upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe
in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have
that belief now. To acquire it, I had to stop fighting
and practice the rest of A.A.'s program as
enthusiastically as I could."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p.27
After years of indulging in a "self-will run riot,"
Step Two became for me a glorious release from being
all alone. Nothing is so painful or insurmountable
in my journey now. Someone is always there to share
life's burdens with me. Step Two became a reinforcement
with God, and I now realize that my insanity and ego
were curiously linked. To rid myself of the former, I
must give up the latter to One with far broader
shoulders than my own.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
One thing we learn in A.A. is to take a long view of
drinking instead of a short view. When we were drinking
we thought more about the pleasure or release that a
drink would give us, than we did about the consequences
which would result from our taking that drink. Liquor
looks good from the short view. When we look in a package
store window, we see liquor dressed up in its best
wrappings, with fancy labels and decorations. They look
swell. But have I learned that what's inside those
beautiful bottles is just plain poison to me?
Meditation For The Day
I believe that life is a school in which I must learn
spiritual things. I must trust in God and He will teach
me. I must listen to God and He will speak through my
mind. I must commune with Him in spite of all opposition
and every obstacle. There will be days when I will hear no
voice in my mind and when there will come no intimate
heart to heart communion. But if I persist, and make a life
habit of schooling myself in spiritual things, God will reveal
Himself to me in many ways.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may regularly go to school in things of the
spirit. I pray that I may grow spiritually by making a
practice of these things.
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As Bill Sees It
Humility First, p. 36
We found many in A.A. who once thought, as we did, that humility was
another name for weakness. They helped us to get down to right size.
By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be
compatible, provided we placed humility first. When we began to do
that, we received the gift of faith, a faith which works. This faith is
for you, too.
<< << << >> >> >>
Where humility formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it
now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient that can give us serenity.
12 & 12
1. p. 30
2. p. 74
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Walk In Dry Places
Is it really honesty?
Honesty
No matter how cruel the results, the need to criticize others can be a compulsion. Such criticism is sometimes justified by the defense "Well, I had to be honest" or "it was only the truth."
But is it really honesty to gratuitously bring our a hurtful truth? Not when the critic's real motives are to wound and humiliate someone, not to foster self-improvement and better behavior. Under those circumstances, the critic is really the dishonest person…. For not having detected the ugly personal motives that triggered the criticism.
Honesty is closely related to humility, and the truly honest person is usually humbly aware of person shortcomings in his or her own life. This alone makes the honest person reluctant to criticize and always careful to do it in ways that avoid inflicting pain or hurt.
Real honesty is rare, especially in people who hurt others under the guise of honesty.
With God's help, I'll look carefully at my motives today.
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Keep It Simple
Don't bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.------Thomas Jefferson
Pleasure is important in recovery. But at times we think pleasure is the answer to life's pains. Alcohol and other drugs were what we liked best. We need to watch out so we don't switch to another addiction--such as gambling, food, sex, or work. The real answer to life's pains is in having a strong spiritual center. It is also our best way to avoid another addiction. Recovery lets us turn our pain over to the care of our Higher Power. Our Higher Power can handle any problem we may have. Our program can help us with our problems too. Recovery is a three-way deal. Higher Power, program, and us.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me avoid another addiction. When I have problems, have me come to You and to my program before anything else.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll set aside time and ask the question, "Am I headed for another addiction/" I'll also ask my sponsor what he or she thinks.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. --Janis Joplin
When we don't know who we are, it's easy to compromise ourselves. When we don't know where we stand on an issue, it's easy to be swayed by a forceful voice. Values may be cloudy in our minds, or we may not be aware of them at all. It's then that we are vulnerable to the persuasion of another. In this Twelve Step program, we are offered the way to know ourselves. We are supported in our efforts, and we realize we have friends who don't want us to compromise ourselves--who value our struggle to know and to be true to ourselves.
One of recovery's greatest gifts is discovering we can make decisions that represent us, our inner selves, and those decisions please us. We all are familiar with the tiny tug of shame that locates itself in our solar plexus. When we "go along," when we "give in" on a personally important issue, we pay a consequence. We lose a bit of ourselves. Over the years we've lost many bits. We have a choice, however.
I will have a chance, soon, to act according to my wishes. I will take it.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.
p. 89
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
This was my introduction to this "understanding fellowship" although it was to be more than a year later before our Society was to bear the name, Alcoholics Anonymous. All of us in A.A. know the tremendous happiness that is in our sobriety, but there are also tragedies. My sponsor, Jackie, was one of these. He brought in many of our original members, yet he himself could not make it and died of alcoholism. The lesson of his death still remains with me, yet I often wonder what would have happened if somebody else had made that first call on me. So I always say that as long as I remember January 8th that is how long I will remain sober.
pp. 220-221
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
This lack of anchorage to any permanent values, this blindness to the true purpose of our lives, produced another bad result. For just so long as we were convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in a Higher Power impossible. This was true even when we believed that God existed. We could actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren because we were still trying to play God ourselves. As long as we placed self reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing.
p. 72
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I just sit down for a few minutes, do a little thinking, and God writes the songs for me. --Hank Williams (1923 - 1953)
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. --Confucius
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
"You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." --Max Ehrmann
"Settle for nothing less than what you truly desire, and do not be afraid to ask for what you feel will bring you joy and fulfillment." --Emmanuel
"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." --Aldous Huxley
"Our own rough edges become smooth as we help a friend smooth her edges." --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
MONEY
"Capital, as such, is not evil; it
is its wrong use that is evil."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi
Today I am not afraid to say that I am concerned for my prosperity
--- not just in terms of health, friendship and employment but also
concerning money. For years I was concerned to have the best, buy
the best, own the best and not "shortchange" myself --- yet I felt
guilty in having such feelings. Today in my sobriety I truly believe
that I deserve the best. In this way I am loving myself. Money, prosperity
and capital are not "bad" in themselves; it is how we use them.
Today, as promised in my recovery, things are certainly getting
better and I am able to invest and buy wisely. Some years ago I would
squander money on my addiction. Today I am able to appreciate and
share my monetary benefits. Family, friends and the "needy" can
genuinely share my prosperity: the more I give away today, the more
I get.
Thank You for all the many benefits You have showered upon me in
my recovery, not least capital. May I always use it responsibly.
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"I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." Galatians 5:16
"Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" 1 Corinthians 3:16
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a good hope and a good future.'"
Jeremiah 29:11
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Daily Inspiration
Today do what you can and expect no more of yourself. Lord, I will feel joy in my accomplishments today and gratitude for the things I have to do tomorrow.
Do not act as though you are watching a parade because we are each one of the marchers. Lord, things change so quickly. Help me to celebrate the constant newness of my life.
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NA Just For Today
Keep Coming Back!
"We are grateful that we were made so welcome at meetings that we felt comfortable."
Basic Text p. 80
Remember how scared we were when we walked into our first NA meeting? Even if we walked in with a friend, most of us recall how difficult it was to attend that first meeting. What was it that kept us coming back? Most of us have grateful memories of the welcome we were given and how comfortable that made us feel. When we raised our hand as a newcomer, we opened the door for other members to approach us and welcome us.
Sometimes the difference between those addicts who walk back out the door of their first meeting, never to return to NA, and the addicts who stay to seek recovery is the simple hug of an NA member. When we have been clean awhile, it's easy to step back from the procession of newcomers—after all, we've seen so many people come and go. But members with some clean time can make the difference between the addict who doesn't return and the addict who keeps coming back. By offering our phone numbers, a hug, or just a warm welcome, we extend the hand of Narcotics Anonymous to the addict who still suffers.
Just for today: I remember the welcome I was given when I first came to NA. Today, I will express my gratitude by offering a hug to a newcomer.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Let there be spaces in your togetherness. --Kahlil Gibran
Sometimes it is just as important to know when to leave others alone as it is to know when to talk with them. We all need to be alone at times--to think, to work out a problem, or just to be quiet with ourselves. This is especially true in families, where we're often surrounded by others. If we tune in to our other family members, we can develop sensors that will let us know when they need some time alone. Part of good communication is knowing when not to talk, too.
Can I be sensitive to my family's needs for privacy today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The human animal needs a freedom seldom mentioned: freedom from intrusion. He needs a little privacy quite as much as he wants understanding or vitamins or exercise or praise. --Phyllis McGinley
The boundaries between us in our families and our friendships often need to be reshaped in recovery. We need to know our feelings are private. We reveal them at our choosing, with whom we choose. We give up on mind reading or probing because it intrudes upon another's privacy. We actively engage in our relationships by sharing ourselves and listening to each other.
A secret that makes a relationship dishonest is destructive and ought to be told. But we cannot force another person to be honest, or pry the truth from a loved one. We can only be honest ourselves and guard our own right to privacy. Intimacy is the bridge, which is built between two separate people. Only when we let others have their privacy and we take ours can our relationships be more intimate.
I will maintain the boundaries of my privacy today and respect the right of others to do the same.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Financial Responsibility
We are responsible for ourselves financially.
What a frightening, grown up thought that is for many of us - taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade off in our relationships.
Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we're seeking in recovery.
Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?
Taxes... savings plans...appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility.... Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.
Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.
God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Shaw me the lessons I need to learn about money.
It feels terrific letting go of perfection as my goal. As I let go of my judgments, all parts of me come together and I feel complete. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Learn to Live with Unfinished Projects
Whether your project is sewing a dress, reading a book, writing a book, building a home, or learning a lesson on your journey, learn to live comfortably with unfinished work. Whatever you’re working on, whatever you’re in the midst of doesn’t need to be finished, in perfect order, with all the loose ends in place for you to be happy.
For too many years, we worried and fretted, denying ourselves happiness until we could see the whole picture, learn the entire lesson, cross every t and dot each i. That meant we spend a lot of stressful time waiting for that one moment when the project was complete.
Enjoy all the stages of the process you’re in. The first moments when the germ of the idea finds you. The time before you begin, when the seed lies dormant in the ground, getting ready to grow. The beginning, and all the days throughout the middle. Those bleak days, when it looks like you’re stuck and won’t break through. Those exciting days when the project, the lesson, the life you’re building takes shape and form.
Be happy now. Enjoy the creative process– the process of creating your life, yourself, and the project you’re working on–today. Don’t wait for those finishing moments to take pleasure in your work and your life. Find joy all along the way.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Stare in the face of your fears
Examine your fears.
Sometimes we’re afraid of specific things. Sometimes we fear the unknown. And sometimes we’re just afraid, because that’s the way we usually feel.
Are you nervous, anxious,upset? What’s scaring you right now?
Have a little talk with yourself. Take a look at what you fear. Are you starting a new relationship or job? What are the risks? What’s the worse that could possibly happen? Sometimes it helps to go through our fears, one by one. We don’t need to dwell on the negative, but we need to be certain that we’re willing to take responsibility for the risks involved.
Then look in the other direction, and see the entire positive potential there. What can you gain by taking that risk? Does the thrill of victory outweigh the potential loss?
We may emerge from the list saying, No, I choose not to risk that. Or, we may look at the risks and say, Yes, I’ve been through worse. I can handle this,too.
Someone once told me many years ago that fear was a good thing. “If you’re not feeling afraid, it means you’re not doing anything differently. You’re just repeating the same old thing.” If fear is haunting you, stare it in the face. See what’s making you feel afraid. Then either back off, or stare that fear down.
God, help me sort through my fears,one by one. Then guide me in deciding which risks I want to take. Help me not be foolhardy. But help me let go of timidity,too.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I tend to rationalize the situation and lay the blame on someone else? When I am in such a state, is my conversation punctuated with, :Hey did..,” “She said..,” “They did..”? Or can I honestly admit that perhaps I’m at fault. My peace of mind depends on overcoming toward rationalization. Will I try, day by day, to be rigorously honest with myself?
Today I Pray
May I catch myself as I talk in the third person, “He did…” or “They promised…” or “She said shoe would…” and listen for the blaming that has become such a pattern for me and preserves delusion. May I do a turnabout and face myself instead.
Today I Will Remember
Honesty is the only policy.
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One More Day
We have seen better days.
– Shakespeare
It is quit difficult to define some of the components that help create what we interpret as a good day. A general sense of well-being prevails, and we have a tendency to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. Everything seems to go just right.
It is not the least bit hard, however, to define a bad day. Nothing happens according to plan. We feel out of sorts, not particularly well. With the advent of health changes, we can inadvertently allow many days to become bad ones.
The only way we can stop having negative experiences is to change our expectations of what constitutes a good day. We don’t have to lower our expectations, just make them more realistic for the situation at hand. We will then find that most of our days can be good ones.
My life is and will always be a mixture of good and bad days. I can influence my interactions and thereby influence the color of my days.
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Food For Thought
Slumps
Most of us go through periods in our lives when nothing seems interesting, when our motivation and enthusiasm have deserted us. We feel dull and bored and depressed. Whether the slump lasts for an afternoon or for a month or for a year, the compulsive overeater tends to turn to food as a way out. For us, food has been exciting, and eating often used to be the most pleasurable activity we could imagine.
As most of us know all too well, eating is not a permanent solution to boredom. We may get a temporary high from food, but we invariably eat too much and end up feeling infinitely worse than before we started. Boredom is better than a binge. Food does not motivate nor does it generate enthusiasm. Overeating has just the opposite effect.
Joining OA does not ensure that we will never again experience boredom or have the blahs. What it does provide is a program of action to which we may turn when we are in a slump. Going to meetings, making phone calls, reading the literature, working the Steps - these are concrete actions we can take.
We have tried food and found that it eventually made things worse. Now let's try the OA program.
Give me grace to act.
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One Day At A Time
~ SELF WORTH ~
Your worth is not established by teaching or learning.
Your worth is established by God.
Nothing you do or think or wish or make
is necessary to establish your worth.
Helen Schucman, scribe of "A Course in Miracles"
I have spent the last 30 years of my life wanting more, thinking that in proving myself I would be worthy of the love and affection I deserved and this would determine my value. I was always seeking the best path to take to show everyone what I could do and that I was worthy of more of their love and praises.
Turning my life and my will over to God has allowed me to see that, no matter what I may think, in God's eyes I am worth plenty, and this has given me so much peace. I now know that what others say or think about me is not going to make me worthy or worthless. Allowing God to run the show and doing the next right thing is all I need to do. I don't have to concern myself if I am of value to anyone; I am of value to God, and that is all that counts.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will continue to turn to God for my strength, knowing that I need not carry the burden of proof of what I'm worth.
~ Maureen ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them. - Pg. 78 - Into Action
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
We sometimes say things to ourselves like 'I should have done this, I should have done that.' We can 'should' ourselves into deep and scaring guilt over what we did in addiction. Regardless of the playlets running in our heads, we are not in a position to take over our Higher Power's position of overseeing life.
No matter how long I have been on earth or how intelligent and experienced I am, I will never rise above the level of human being.
The Creative Power of My Thoughts
Today, I recognize that I tend to produce in my life what I feel is true for myself. Thoughts have a creative power of their own. If I look closely, I can see my thoughts come to life. I create the possibility of what I would like by first experiencing it in my mind. I will visualize what I would like to have in my life in my mind's eye. I will accept what I see in my inner eye as being available for me, and I will fully participate in my vision as if it were already mine. I will be specific about what I see in my mind's creative eye and I will accept my inner vision as fully possible. I will see it, sense, taste it and see it as already happening. What I believe can be true for me, can be true for me. I block things form happening with my own doubt and disbelief. Today, I will imagine that I can live the life I am able to hold as a steady vision. If I can see it, I can move toward it, I can accept it, I can crate it.
All good things are possible for me
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Practicing the principles can never be done from a pedestal of self-righteousness. The very act of judging, complaining or criticizing, demonstrates that we are spiritually out of whack--not the ones we judge. Oh, they may be out of whack too, but that's not our side of the street, is it?
My program does not work in principle. It only works in practice.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Addiction is not a sentence; it is only a word.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I dare to walk on a new path where comfort and security are not my goals. I dare to reach out to my fellow human beings and become part of society whose aim is peace and love and joy and recovery.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Most alcoholics would rather die than get sober.
And they do. - Anon.
bluidkiti
01-28-2024, 08:26 AM
February 6
Daily Reflections
A RALLYING POINT
Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. "Whether agnostic, atheist, or
former believer, we can stand together on this Step.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33
I feel that A.A. is a God-inspired program and that God is at every A.A. meeting. I see,
believe, and have come to know that A.A. works, because I have stayed sober today. I
am turning my life over to A.A. and to God by going to an A.A. meeting. If God is in my
heart and He speaks to me through other people, then I must be a channel of God to
other people. I should seek to do His will by living spiritual principles and my reward will
be sanity and emotional sobriety.
************************************************** *********
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
On a dark night, the bright lights of the corner tavern look mighty inviting. Inside, there
seems to be warmth and good cheer. But we don't stop to think that if we go in there we'll
probably end up drunk, with our money spent and an awful hangover. A long
mahogany bar in the tropical moonlight looks like a very gay place. But you should see
the place the next morning. The chairs are piled on the tables and the place stinks of stale
beer and cigarette stubs. And often we are there too, trying to cure the shakes by gulping
down straight whiskey. Can I look straight through the night before and see the morning
after?
Meditation For The Day
God finds, amid the crowd, a few people who follow Him, just to be near Him, just to dwell
in His presence. A longing in the Eternal Heart may be satisfied by these few people. I
will let God know that I seek just to dwell in His presence, to be near Him, not so much
for teaching or a message, as just for Him. It may be that the longing of the human
heart to be loved for itself is something caught from the Great Divine Heart.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may have a listening ear, so that God may speak to me. I pray that I may
have a waiting heart, so that God may come to me.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
A Full and Thankful Heart, p. 37
One exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings
and then for a right acceptance of the many gifts that are mine--both
temporal and spiritual. Here I try to achieve a state of joyful gratitude.
When such a brand of gratitude is repeatedly affirmed and pondered, it
can finally displace the natural tendency to congratulate myself on
whatever progress I may have been enabled to make in some areas of
living.
I try hard to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot
entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's
heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we
can never know.
Grapevine, March 1962
************************************************** *********
Walk In Dry Places
Competing with Others
A new View of Competition.
We live in a world torn by endless strife and competition. Although competitiveness can be a good quality, we've seen it become very ugly and destructive. A few alcoholics like the excitement of competition, but many of us withdraw from it. We hate anything that includes the risk of defeat or might make us appear second best. Sometimes we even feel guilty in winning.
We don't need the kind of competition that causes us to gloat arrogantly in victory or to wallow in self-pity in defeat. We don't really need to compete with others in anything if we are truly seeking guidance from our Higher power. If God is in charge of our lives, we do not have to struggle with others for the good we seek in life. It is God's pleasure to give us the good things of the kingdom.
There is a kind of competition that does pay off in sobriety…… competition with ourselves. We can try to be better people than we might have been yesterday, or a week ago, or a month ago. This kind of competition requires skill and stamina, and it also requires exercise and training. But anybody who sincerely seeks a spiritual life and true self-improvement can find it in AA.
This day, I won't try to reform or change anybody but myself. I'll remember that God is in charge of things and concentrate on competing with the person I once was by letting the program work in my life.
************************************************** *********
Keep It Simple
We will not know unless we begin.-------Howard Zinn
Let us begin! Whether it be working on our First Step, Finding a sponsor, or talking to someone we hurt---Let us begin. Doubt will set in if we wait too long. Fear will follow. So, let us begin. We learn by doing. Recovery is for doers. Sobriety doesn't just happen. We create it. We create it by working the Steps and learning from them. We'll never totally understand the Steps unless we work them. In the same way, we'll never learn how to have friends unless we try. So, call your friends, instead of waiting to be called. Begin and begin again. Each day is a new beginning.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, today I'll begin. I begin by asking for Your help and love. Be with me as I go through my day. Help me work for progress, not perfection.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll not sit on the sidelines. I'll be a doer. I'll decide what to do to move closer to friends, family, Higher Power, and myself.
************************************************** *********
Each Day a New Beginning
I believe that a sign of maturity is accepting deferred gratification. --Peggy Cahn
It's okay to want to feel good all the time. Happiness is something we all deserve. However, there are often preparatory steps we need to take, a number of which will not bring joy, before we arrive at a place of sustained happiness.
The level of our pain at any particular moment has prompted us to seek short-term highs. And with each attempt at a quick "fix," we will be reminded that, just as with our many former attempts, the high is very short-term.
Long-term happiness is not the byproduct of short-term gratification. We don't have to earn happiness, exactly, but we do have to discover where it's found. How fortunate we are to have the program guiding our search. We will find happiness when we learn to get quiet and listen to our inner selves. We will find happiness when we focus less on our personal problems and more on the needs of others.
Many of us will need to redefine what happiness is. Understanding our value and necessity to our circle of acquaintances will bring us happiness, a happiness that will sustain us, and so will gratitude for our friends, our growing health, our abstinence also sustain us. Sincerely touching the soul of someone else can tap the well of happiness within each of us.
I will find happiness. Searching within myself, I will patiently, trustingly share myself with others.
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.
p. 89
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
The age-old question in A.A. which came first, the neurosis or the alcoholism. I like to think I was fairly normal before alcohol took over. My early life was spent in Baltimore where my father was a physician and a grain merchant. My family lived in very prosperous circumstances, and while both my parents drank, sometimes too much, neither was an alcoholic. Father was a very well-integrated person, and while mother was highstrung and a bit selfish and demanding, our home life was reasonably harmonious. There were four of us children, and although both of my brothers later became alcoholic--one died of alcoholism--my sister has never taken a drink in her life.
p. 221
************************************************** *********
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
For us, the process of gaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful. It was only by repeated humiliations that we were forced to learn something about humility. It was only at the end of a long road, marked by successive defeats and humiliations, and the final crushing of our self sufficiency, that we began to feel humility as something more than a condition of groveling despair. Every newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous is told, and soon realizes for himself, that his humble admission of powerlessness over alcohol is his first step toward liberation from its paralyzing grip.
pp. 72-73
************************************************** *********
We can teach the faith by the way we face what each day brings. --Damaris Hernandez
"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." --One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
"I said to a man who stood at the gate of the year: Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown." And he replied, "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than a light and safer than a known way." --Minnie L. Haskins
The greatest gift you receive from loving someone is Loving Someone.
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. --Mother Teresa
The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.
S T E P S = Solutions To Every Problem in Sobriety.
************************************************** *********
Father Leo's Daily Meditation
LIES
"Christ cannot possibly have been
a Jew. I don't have to prove that
scientifically. It is a fact!"
-- Joseph Goebbels
Today I know that if a lie is said loudly enough, often enough, with ceremony and ritual,
people will believe it. I can identify with the above statement: I said I was not alcoholic
because I did not drink every day, in the mornings, all day and I was too young! People
believed me. Some people still choose to believe this lie.
Spirituality requires that I not only confront the lies in other people but also in myself.
Usually if I am angry at the remarks of others, it is because they remind me of myself.
Today I seek not simply to condemn but to understand.
May I continue to learn from the criticism I make of others.
************************************************** *********
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Psalm 27:4-5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." John 15:5-8
************************************************** *********
Daily Inspiration
It is better to try and fail than to fail because you are afraid to try. Lord, grant me the courage to live my life to the fullest.
Learn to be peaceful in all situations and trust that through all stages of our lives, God has a plan. Lord, may I have the wisdom to be able to turn my stumbling blocks into building blocks.
************************************************** *********
NA Just For Today
I Can't - We Can
"We had convinced ourselves that we could make it alone and proceeded to live life on that basis. The results were disastrous and, in the end, each of us had to admit that self-sufficiency was a lie"
Basic Text p. 59
"I can't, but we can." This simple but profound truth applies initially to our first need as NA members: Together, we can stay clean, but when we isolate ourselves, we're in bad company. To recover, we need the support of other addicts.
Self-sufficiency impedes more than just our ability to stay clean. With or without drugs, living on self-will inevitably leads to disaster. We depend on other people for everything from goods and services to love and companionship, yet self-will puts us in constant conflict with those very people. To live a fulfilling life, we need harmony with others.
Other addicts and others in our communities are not the only ones we depend on. Power is not a human attribute, yet we need power to live. We find it in a Power greater than ourselves which provides the guidance and strength we lack on our own. When we pretend to be self-sufficient, we isolate ourselves from the one source of power sufficient to effectively guide us through life: our Higher Power.
Self-sufficiency doesn't work. We need other addicts; we need other people; and, to live fully, we need a Power greater than our own.
Just for today: I will seek the support of other recovering addicts, harmony with others in my community, and the care of my Higher Power. I can't, but we can.
************************************************** *********
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Pride works from within; it is the direct appreciation of oneself.
--Arthur Schopenhauer
Pride, like all emotions, has two faces: one healthy and one sick. It is our challenge to use the healthy side well. Sick pride fills us with ourselves, looks down on others, and has no room for generosity. Healthy pride is heavy with humility. If we can feel joyful when we succeed, and tell others about it honestly, we are not being boastful.
Sick pride often keeps us from doing things because we are too proud to ask for help when we need it, or too proud to risk failure, or too proud to do anything that might not turn out perfect.
Healthy pride about our greatest victories always comes with the awareness that we did not do it all by ourselves. We had the aid, advice, and encouragement of loved ones. In all things that really count, we never walk alone. Even those who claim pride is not a virtue admit that it is the parent of many virtues.
What makes me proud of myself today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Behind an able man there are always other able men. --Chinese proverb
Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.
In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other's strength.
Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Stopping Victimization
Before recovery, many of us lacked a frame of reference with which to name the victimization and abuse in our life. We may have thought it was normal that people mistreated us. We may have believed we deserved mistreatment; we may have been attracted to people who mistreated us.
We need to let go, on a deep level, of our need to be victimized and to be victims. We need to let go of our need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems at work, in love, in family relationships, in friendships. We deserve better. We deserve much better. It is our right. When we believe in our right to happiness, we will have happiness.
We will fight for that right, and the fight will emerge from our souls. Break free from oppression and victimization.
Today, I will liberate myself by letting go of my need to be a victim, and I'll explore my freedom to take care of myself. That liberation will not take me further away from people I love. It will bring me closer to people and. more in harmony with God's plan for my life.
I am slowly finding new strength within me as I begin to trust my inner voice. I dare listen and take new risks as I follow my inner path. --Ruth Fishel
****************************************
Journey To The Heart
Look at What’s Right
Take time to notice what’s right in ourselves, in others, and in the world around us. We may become so concerned with correcting ourselves we become habituated to seeing what’s wrong. Not just seeing it– constantly looking for it. The question itself– What’s wrong? — is enough to keep us on edge.
There are times to take stock, do an inventory. Times to learn and grow. But spirituality and joy do not stem from trudging around in the muck of what’s wrong with others, ourselves, and life. We do not have to seek out mistakes and errors, poking and picking at ourselves to continue our growth. Poking and picking hurts. Our lessons will be revealed to us, and they will present themselves naturally. Growth will occur.
Give yourself a break. Ask yourself what’s right, what’s good, what’s true, what’s beautiful. Sometimes the lesson isn’t in discovering what’s wrong. Sometimes the lesson is discovering that the world is all right– and so are you.
****************************************
More Language Of Letting Go
Revel in the void
In the original Language of Letting Go, I talked about the in between places in our lives. Those are the uncomfortable places along the journey where you’re not where you were but you’re not where you’re going yet,either. I talked about accepting that place, no matter how difficult it might be.
Let’s look at this place again. Only now, we’ll call it the void. Take another look at that moment when one door has closed behind you and you’re standing in that dark hallway, but no door opens up. Or you let go of whatever you’ve been grasping so tightly and stand there with an empty hand. Don’t say woohoo just when you begin something new. Feel the woohoo of this moment,too! Embrace the void. This wonderful in-between place holds the keys to all creation. In the biblical story of creation, God began with a clean slate like the one you may face now. It was the magic and mystery of the void that allowed all of this wonderful creation to be.
If you’re at an in-between place, don’t just accept it. Revel in it, embrace it, rejoice at your opportunity to sit in the birth-place of all that will come along your path. Relax into the void and allow creation to flow.
God, help me embrace the void and allow it to bring forth what it will, rather than trying to force something that really doesn’t fit.
****************************************
A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
I used to be an expert at unrealistic self-appraisal. At certain times, I would look only at that part of my life which seemed good. Then I would magnify whatever real or imagined virtues I had attained. Next, I would pat myself on the back for the fantastic job I was doing in The Program. Naturally, this generated a craving for still more “accomplishments” and still greater approval. Wasn’t that the pattern of my days during active addiction? The difference now, though, is that I can use the best alibi known — the spiritual alibi. Do I sometimes rationalize willful actions and nonsensical behavior in the name of “spiritual objectives?”
Today I Pray
God help me to know if I still crave attention and approval to the point of inflating my own virtues and magnifying my accomplishments in The Program or anywhere. May I keep a realistic perspective ab out my good points, even as I learn to respect myself.
Today I Will Remember
Learn to control inflation.
****************************************
One More Day
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be.
– Robert Browning
We all have been to beautiful weddings. A young couple’s love is so obvious. They have so much to look forward to, so much living is still ahead.
We understand more and more that now is the best time of our lives. Whether we are having a cup of coffee with a friend or fishing on a quiet lake, these are the best times.
As we age and reach the later decades of our lives, we become aware, even more sharply, that surely these are the best times of our lives. We feel comfortable with ourselves and what we have, and with what we are still accomplishing. We don’t set unreasonable goals anymore. And we are lucky, too, for we can blend all our previous years of experience into our daily lives.
I am comforted by knowing that every stage of my life presents me with new opportunities.
************************************
Food For Thought
The Power of Love
Love is the best motivation. When we are plugged in to our Higher Power, we are plugged in to love. It flows through us like a current, energizing our sluggish hearts and minds.
As we work the Steps of this program, we are given increased ability to love. By turning over our lives and our wills, we become receptive to the love, which surrounds and sustains us. By taking inventory and being ready to have our character defects removed, we are able to get rid of old ways of thinking and acting which have been blocking out love.
We cannot produce love for others by ourselves, but we can receive it from our Higher Power. We can even receive love for people we don't particularly like.
Love gives energy for action and directs its course.
May I grow in Love.
*****************************************
One Day At A Time
~ ERRORS AND ASSETS ~
We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors
and convert them into assets.
The Big Book
I have had a paradigm shift in my life. This means that I have begun to see some of my most basic ideas about food and nourishment from a different angle. I never really thought these things through before this program nudged me to have a look at my life with rigorous honesty. Oh, I wanted to be thin, but I barely related that to my feelings about food.
I was on autopilot for years and now realize that my concept of food was reasoned out when I was still a child. I put that childish set of ideas in place and then just stopped thinking about it. That little child wanted the most she could get of everything there was. She wanted the most attention, the most love, the most toys . . . and the most food. And at that time it was exactly the right way to look at the world. When I was a child setting up the system that constantly demands more to calm or soothe or comfort or love, I turned to food because it is simple and I did not possess the skills to get my needs met in other ways. It was a victory really, because I coped, made it through to now. But, to stick with a plan set up by a little child reflects a lack of willingness to face a basic error in engaging the world and change my behavior.
Now I know that eating mass quantities of food isn't about love, or fun, or comfort. Now my adult mind knows that food is a fuel that, if chosen judiciously, helps my body to work efficiently and clears my mind for the task of being a responsible adult in a busy, troubled world. By shifting from "How much food do I get for me?" to "What must I eat today to be healthy?" I change my whole basis for choosing. I take an area of my life that has been a constant error and change it into an asset, one that nourishes me and helps me to do that next right thing.
One Day at a Time . . .
I am willing to face my flawed thinking about food and change the way I make food choices, meal by meal, so that food is an asset to me and not a liability.
~ Carol B. ~
*****************************************
AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. - Pg. 62 - How It Works
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Sanskrit saying: 'God sleeps in the minerals, awakens in the plants, walks in the animals, and thinks in you.' There is no place or time that the Power you believe in is not existing. Your thoughts are the culmination of this Power and your recovery HP's manifestation.
Working the steps and practicing the principles is the same as manifesting God on earth.
I Say Thanks
Today I will say thank you. If someone does something for me, I will say thank you. If I feel good when I wake up I will say thank you. When I have food that gives me pleasure and nourishment, I will appreciate its flavor. If the world provides me with another day of what I need to keep going, I will say thank you for being alive, for my health, my family and my friends. As I show appreciation a curious thing happens, I get more of what I am saying thank you for. People want to be appreciated; saying thank you allows them to give with pleasure. Life wants to be appreciated; saying thank you allows life to give with pleasure.
I do not take things for granted
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. The truth is that your Spiritual Source doesn't deal with time, clocks, and calendars. Your Source put you in today because your Source is in today.
Because God (Allah, Krishna, Kahuna, Creator, Divine Intelligence) is in the NOW, then 'Just for Today' I stay here too.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Stay put and act in your own best interest.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I am slowly finding new strength within me as I begin to trust my inner voice. I dare listen and take new risks as I follow my inner path.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Rockbottom: When things got worse faster than I could lower my standards. - Anon.
bluidkiti
01-28-2024, 08:26 AM
February 7
Daily Reflections
A PATH TO FAITH
True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an
assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33
My last drunk had landed me in the hospital, totally broken. It was then that I was able
to see my past float in front of me. I realized that, through drinking, I had lived every
nightmare I had ever had. My own self-will and obsession to drink had driven me into a
dark pit of hallucinations, blackouts and despair. Finally beaten, I asked for God's help.
His presence told me to believe. My obsession for alcohol was taken away and my
paranoia has since been lifted. I am no longer afraid. I know my life is healthy and sane.
************************************************** *********
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
A night club crowded with men and women all dressed up in evening clothes looks like a
very festive place. But you should see the rest rooms of that night club the next morning.
What a mess! People have been sick all over the place and does it smell! The glamour of
the night before is all gone and only the stink of the morning after is left. In A.A. we learn
to take a long view of drinking instead of a short view. We learn to think less about the
pleasure of the moment and more about the consequences. Has the night before become
less important to me and the morning after more important?
Meditation For The Day
Only a few more steps and then God's power shall be seen and known in my life. I am now
walking in darkness, surrounded by the limitations of space and time. But even in this
darkness, I can have faith and can be a light to guide feet that are afraid. I believe that
God's power will break through the darkness and my prayers will pierce even to the ears
of God Himself. But only a cry from the heart, a trusting cry, ever pierces that darkness
and reaches to the divine ear of God.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that the divine power of God will help my human weakness. I pray that my prayer
may reach through the darkness to the ear of God.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
Let Go Absolutely, p.242
After failure on my part to dry up any drunks, Dr. Silkworth
reminded me of Professor William James's observation that truly
transforming spiritual experiences are nearly always founded on
calamity and collapse. "Stop preaching at them," Dr. Silkworth
said, "and give them the hard medical facts first. This may soften
them up at depth so that they will be willing to do anything to get
well. Then they may accept those spiritual ideas of yours, and
even a Higher Power."
********************************
We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some
of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was
nil--until we let go absolutely.
1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p.13
2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.58
************************************************** *********
Walk In Dry Places
Responsibility for our actions.
Maturity
The practice of scape-goating goes way back to biblical times. It's easier to blame others for our problems than to take personal responsibility for facing and solving these problems.
In the AA program, however, there's nothing that serves as a basis for blaming others. In every way, AA insists that alcoholics take personal responsibility… not only for finding and maintaining sobriety, but also for past wrongs and personal shortcomings. This is a difficult change for alcoholics who have believed that others caused many of their problems.
But being forced to take responsibility for our actions is a blessing in disguise. It fairly shouts the good news that we can take charge of our lives despite what others think and do. With God's help, we can change ourselves into the people we ought to be. We are fortunate that life is arranged to give us this personal responsibility.. where would we be if our recovery depended only on others?
We also learn that this responsibility is not limited to our drinking. We are responsible for everything we think and do, and we have the power to make improvements in our lives beginning today.
I will go through the day without blaming others for my problems.
************************************************** *********
Keep It Simple
I thank God for my handicaps, for through them, I have found myself, my work and my God.---Helen Keller.
None of us ever wanted to be addicts. It's not what we would choose to be--- just as no one would choose to blind and deaf. Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf, told of how her problems became her biggest gift. Through them, she found true meaning in her life. We can accept our handicap---our addiction--- and learn from it. The truth is, we're all handicapped in some way. Recovery is about facing our addiction and learning to live with it. When we see we can't do things alone, we see the need for a Higher Power.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see myself as I really am. Give me the serenity that comes from accepting my handicaps.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll list all the ways I am handicapped. I'll ask myself, "What gift does each of these hold for me?"
************************************************** *********
Each Day a New Beginning
However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole. --Muriel Rukeyser
We can expect to feel fear, even dread at some points in our lives. We will always have situations that, for a time at least, seem more than we can bear. But the clouds will lift. We are never given more than we can handle, and with each passing day we become more at ease with ourselves and all that life gives us. We are learning that "this too shall pass." Our confidence grows as our spiritual program gains strength.
Our ties to one another and our ties to the program make us whole. When we reflect on who we were and how far we've come, we will see that problems we drank over in days gone by are handled today and often with ease. The joy we share is that no problem is too great to be faced any longer. And no situation will ever have to be faced alone, unless we reject God's help.
I will be grateful for my growth toward wholeness and the opportunities I face today. They are bringing me into harmony with the Divine plan for my life.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. They will be only too glad to assist you. Don’t start out as an evangelist or reformer. Unfortunately a lot of prejudice exists. You will be handicapped if you arouse it. Ministers and doctors are competent and you can learn much from them if you wish, but it happens that because of your own drinking experience you can be uniquely useful to other alcoholics. So cooperate; never criticize. To be helpful is our only aim.
p. 89
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
Until I was thirteen I attended public schools, with regular promotions and average grades. I have never shown any particular talents, nor have I had any really frustrating ambitions. At thirteen I was packed off to a very fine Protestant boarding school in Virginia, where I stayed four years, graduating without any special achievements. In sports I made the track and tennis teams; I got along well with the other boys and had a fairly large circle of acquaintances but no intimate friends. I was never homesick and was always pretty self-sufficient.
p. 221
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
So it is that we first see humility as a necessity. But this is the barest beginning. To get completely away from our aversion to the idea of being humble, to gain a vision of humility as the avenue to true freedom of the human spirit, to be willing to work for humility as something to be desired for itself, takes most of us a long, long time. A whole lifetime geared to self-centeredness cannot be set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our every step at first.
p. 73
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God, the Master Artist, sees the whole picture and desires to make something delightful of us. --Gene L. Lankford
The joy is in the journey.
Life didn't end when I got sober -- it started.
Situations I fear are rarely as bad as the fear itself.
If faith without works is dead, then willingness without action is fantasy.
Resentment is like acid, eating away at the vessel it is stored in.
Walk softly and carry a Big Book.
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
CHILDLIKE
"In every child who is born, under
no matter what circumstances,
and of no matter what parents, the
potentiality of the human race is
born again."
-- James Agee
Today I am able to believe and see the God-given dignity of the human race in
the faces and lifestyles of others. In the challenge and rebelliousness of youth is
the hope for tomorrow.
Today I can associate myself with the need to question, risk and "be
outrageous". Today I can play, laugh at myself and own my craziness. Today I do
not need to be perfect.
When I used drugs, I was so judgmental, serious and controlling. Everything had
to have a place, or an answer, or be acceptable to others. My moments of guilt
were caused by my inability to please others.
Today I can be childlike and identify with the radical message for tomorrow: "to
thine own self be true!"
I see a child looking at the stars and I smile; I am that child.
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O sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples. For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; he is to be revered above all gods.
Psalm 96:1-4
I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned for me, but had no opportunity to show it. Not that I am referring to being in need; for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:10-13
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6
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Daily Inspiration
There is no moment like right now. Lord, help me start one thing today that I have been putting off.
Spend less time trying to change and more time making the best of who you are. Lord, help me daily to put Your words into action.
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NA Just For Today
This Is Not A Test
"We have found a loving, personal God to whom we can turn."
Basic Text p. 27
Some of us come into recovery with the impression that life's hardships are a series of cosmic tests designed to teach us something. This belief is readily apparent when something traumatic happens and we wail, "My Higher Power is testing me!" We're convinced that it's a test of our recovery when someone offers us drugs, or a test of our character when faced with a situation where we could do something unprincipled without getting caught. We may even think it's a test of our faith when we're in great pain over a tragedy in our lives.
But a loving Higher Power doesn't test our recovery, our character, or our faith. Life just happens, and sometimes it hurts. Many of us have lost love through no fault of our own. Some of us have lost all of our material wealth. A few of us have even grieved the loss of our own children. Life can be terribly painful at times, but the pain is not inflicted on us by our Higher Power. Rather, that Power is constantly by our sides, ready to carry us if we can't walk by ourselves. There is no harm that life can do us that the God of our understanding can't heal.
Just for today: I will have faith that my Higher Power's will for me is good, and that I am loved. I will seek my Higher Power's help in times of need.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong. --Leo Rosten
When we think of strength, do we think of someone who shows no emotion and intimidates others with physical power? True strength is the freedom to show all kinds of feelings. Strong people aren't afraid of being vulnerable. A person who feels insecure may not feel free to show any kind of softness or be able to share gentle feelings. If we have true inner strength, we are not afraid to show what is a part of us, gentle feelings included.
It is wonderful to see a well-conditioned athlete cry tears of joy after a victory. In such an example we can see physical and emotional strength. In our lives together, we will be stronger if we do not try to hide our feelings out of fear. As our feelings flow, we will increase our self-understanding and build our true strength.
Am I strong enough to show how I really feel today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We cannot merely pray to You, 0 God, to end war;
For we know that You have made the world in a way
That man must find his own path to peace
Within himself and with his neighbor.
--Jack Riemer
Our conscious contact with God can be called prayer. There are many forms of prayer for a man in this program. For some of us it may take the form of talking to God; for others it may be silent meditation, observing nature, listening to music, or writing in a journal.
We have experienced the healing effect of this relationship. It has allowed us to move out of our willfulness. But we need to take action where we can make a difference. We cannot blame God for every bad thing that happens - or simply wait for God to provide all the good we want. Do we see the power we do have to influence our lives? Can we give up our resentments against God for bad things that have happened?
I am grateful for what God has given me and more aware of what I can do.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Owning Our Power
We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.
The first step in recovery is accepting powerlessness. There are some things we can't do, no matter how long or hard we try. These things include changing other people, solving their problems, and controlling their behavior. Sometimes, we feel powerless over ourselves - what we feel or believe, or the effects of a particular situation or person on us.
It's important to surrender to powerlessness, but it's equally important to own our power. We aren't trapped. We aren't helpless. Sometimes it may feel like we are, but we aren't. We each have the God given power, and the right, to take care of ourselves in any circumstance, and with any person. The middle ground of self-care lies between the two extremes of controlling others and allowing them to control us. We can walk that ground gently or assertively, but in confidence that it is our right and responsibility.
Let the power come to walk that path.
Today, I will remember that I can take care of my self. I have choices, and. I can exercise the options I choose without guilt.
I feel my entire body unwinding and relaxing as I give up my resistance and struggle. Today I accept life as it comes and learn to flow with it with peace. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Experience Love for Yourself
To find love, you must first find it in yourself. Then the whole universe will mirror it back. See how people smile at you? Feel their tenderness, their affection, their respect. See how the whole world responds lovingly to you when you love yourself.
The world around you reflects how you feel about yourself. The beliefs of many years have kept you trapped in the illusion of separateness, apartness. Your hesitancy to love yourself was mirrored in the eys of others. But you are not alone, you are not estranged. You are not a disconnected part. You are part of the whole, intricately connected to all of life.
Go out, and embrace your connection. Embrace life. Watch the sunrise. Smell the cypress trees, a field of garlic, the gentle scent of an apple orchard. Feel the breeze on your cheek, the rain on your hair, the earth beneath your feet.
Stay open. Keep loving yourself. Know you are a vital part of a living universe. Watch how much better, how much kinder life is, as you grow in peace and harmony with yourself. See how much more love is mirrored in the universe since you committed to loving yourself.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Replace dread by saying woohoo
Let go of dread.
Treat it like a feeling. Identify it. Accept and acknowledge it. Then release it. Do whatever you have to, to get it out of your system. Because dread is more than just a feeling– it’s really a curse.
We throw this dark gray blanket of dread over our lives for hours, sometimes days, months, and sometimes years. We convince ourselves that certain situations will be terrible. Then what we’ve predicted comes true.
Dread is not living in the present moment. It’s living the future before we get there, and living it without any joy. There’s a lot of good about the future that you don’t know. There’s your power to flow. There’s the creative power that exists in the void. There’s your abillity to intuitively handle what comes up. And there’s a lesson, a pulsing potential in the experience that you can’t see yet. There may be a delightful consequence or outcome from this experience on which you haven’t planned. Or it may simply be something you need to get through to experience growth.
If you’re feeling cursed because you’re living in dread, take the curse off yourself.
God, help me open my heart to the full potential of every moment in my life.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
What do I do what I do? Why did I say what I said? Why on earth did I put off an important responsibility? Questions like these, best asked of myself in a quiet time of meditation, demand honest answers. I may have to think deeply for those answers, going beyond the tempting rationalizations that lack the luster of truth. Have I accepted the fact that self-deception can only damage me, providing a clouded and unrealistic picture of the person I really am?
Today I Pray
May God allow me to push aside my curtain of fibs, alibis, rationalizations, justification, distortions and downright lies and let in the light on the real truths about myself. May I meet the person I really am and take comfort in the person I can become.
Today I Will Remember
Hello, Me. Meet the Real Me.
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One More Day
Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: It might have been.
– John Greenleaf Whittier
A story is told of a man leaning over his wife’s casket. “I waited too long,” he lamented to no one in particular. “Why didn’t I tell her how much I loved her, how much I cherished our life together? I waited too long.”
Like everyone else, we are guilty of procrastination. We tend to put off difficult decisions, such as ending a bad relationship or quitting a job or making aments with an old friend. Our Procrastinations seem to protect us.
Now we understand that time is important too. The more we put something off, the less time we have for other more positive areas of life. Life gets easier when we don’t procrastinate.
I can resolve many problems with direct actions. I need not procrastinate anymore.
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Food For Thought
Abstinence Is Freedom
In the beginning, when we first practice abstinence, we may look at it as restriction, limitation, or denial. We don't like the word, we don't like giving up our favorite foods, we don't like measuring and weighing and writing down menus. We sometimes decide to abstain grudgingly, considering it punishment for past indulgences and bitter medicine for our disease.
Let's remember that what we are giving up is fat, lethargy, and the uncontrolled craving for more and more. Not to abstain is to remain a slave to compulsive overeating. Before OA, we were not free. We were prisoners of our compulsion.
Abstinence is not negative denial. It is positive freedom from the obsession with food and the debilitating effects of overeating. Through abstinence we become free to live active, interesting, satisfying lives. We are able to work and love and serve and enjoy in ways, which were unknown to us before.
When we choose to abstain, we choose freedom.
Thank you, Lord, for freedom.
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One Day At A Time
~ FELLOWSHIP ~
We may have all come on different ships,
but we're in the same boat now.
Martin Luther King Jr.
As a child I never had many friends and I was never one of the "in" crowd. I had many complexes and never thought I was good enough, or clever enough or thin enough. I didn't date much, nor did I often go to parties. Instead I lived in my perfect fantasy world, where I would one day be thin and beautiful and live happily ever after. As a result food became my best friend, and where friends would constantly disappoint me or leave me, food was always there to numb the pain of loneliness, rejection and loss. There was never anyone in whom I could confide the unbearable pain that I felt, and so I would bury myself in books and food, and thought that as long as I had enough food to soothe that great big hole in my soul, everything would be fine.
Finally, however, when the food was causing me more pain than the pain it was supposed to take away, in desperation I found the doors of this wonderful fellowship. The people in that first meeting were from all walks of life, and of all ages, with some being old enough to be my parents or young enough to be my children. Even though they initially appeared so different to me, I realized that in this motley group of people I had found the friends that I had always been looking for. The common bond we shared in our desire to stop eating compulsively and to heal our lives was the cement that keeps this wonderful fellowship going. These friends listened to me without judging me, they loved me even when I couldn't love myself, and they were there for me when I needed them. They have become my best friends and my family. It's a result of this fellowship with other compulsive overeaters, who share with me their experience, strength and hope, that I am constantly able to learn and grow.
One day at a time... One Day at a Time . . .
I will reach out in fellowship to my friends in the program, as they reach out to me, and in doing so I am empowered in ways that are truly miraculous.
~ Sharon S. ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
In face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. - Pg. 50 - We Agnostics
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
You will feel powerless at times, yet once you live through your withdrawal and early confusing recovery, your resiliency to endure, survive, and thrive will amaze you. You are in a unique position to learn from this, turn around, and offer help to others. You are, at this very moment, learning skills that will help other addicts and alcoholics in the future. This is a gift.
I thank my Divine Source for the ability to view the good in the journey I now take.
Giving of Myself
I will not give things instead of love. I will recognize that the people who need and depend on me for that sustaining kind of love and attention will be hurt and confused if I ignore their real need for me. I need to give those who are close to me real love. They have cast their fate with mine and I owe them this. They depend on me and I need to understand that and step up to the plate and do what's necessary and right. I will also be appropriately grateful, when those I need and depend upon give me the caring and concern that nourishes my heart.
I give of my time and attention
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Some recovering addicts take comfort in their complexity as if they are the exceptionally wounded. They worry their wounds and pick at their pain, giving themselves permission to be difficult, slow, and self-absorbed. Are you simply healing to your own internal rhythm or giving yourself excuses to be difficult?
I don't make the pity pot too comfortable.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Align your actions so they are in agreement with the picture you paint of yourself at meetings.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I feel my entire body unwinding and relaxing as I give up my resistance and struggle. Today I accept life as it comes and learn to flow with it with peace.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Alcohol gave me wings to fly, then took away my sky. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-01-2024, 05:54 AM
February 8
Daily Reflections
CONVINCING "MR. HYDE"
Even then, as we hew away, peace and joy will still elude us. That's
the place so many of us A.A. oldsters have come to. And it's a hell of a
spot, literally. How shall our unconscious--from which so many of our
fears, compulsions and phony aspirations still stream--be brought into
line with what we actually believe, know and want! How to convince
our dumb, raging and hidden "Mr. Hyde" becomes our main task.
THE BEST OF BILL, pp. 42-43
Regular attendance at meetings, service and helping others is the
recipe that many have tried and found to be successful. Whenever I
stray from these basic principles, my old habits resurface and my old
self also comes back with all its fears and defects. The ultimate goal of
each A.A. member is permanent sobriety, achieved One Day at a
Time.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
When the morning sun comes up on a nice bright day and we jump out
of bed, we're thankful to God that we feel well and happy instead of
sick and disgusted. Serenity and happiness have become much more
important to us than the excitement of drinking, which lifts us up for a
short while, but lets us way down in the end. Of course, all of us
alcoholics had a lot of fun with drinking. We might as well admit it. We
can look back on a lot of good times, before we became alcoholics. But
the time comes for all of us alcoholics when drinking ceases to be fun
and becomes trouble. Have I learned that drinking can never again be
anything but trouble for me?
Meditation For The Day
I must rely on God. I must trust Him to the limit. I must depend on
the Divine Power in all human relationships. I will wait and trust and hope,
until God shows me the way. I will wait for guidance on each
important decision. I will meet the test of waiting until a thing seems right
before I do it. Every work for God must meet this test of time. The
guidance will come, if I wait for it.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may meet the test of waiting for God's guidance. I pray
that I will not go off on my own.
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As Bill Sees It
Pipeline to God, p. 38
"I am a firm believer in both guidance and prayer. But I am fully aware,
and humble enough, I hope, to see there may be nothing infallible about
my guidance.
"The minute I figure I have got a perfectly clear pipeline to God, I have
become egotistical enough to get into real trouble. Nobody can cause
more needless grief than a power-driver who thinks he has got it straight
from God."
Letter, 1950
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Walk In Dry Places
Right attitudes Toward Anonymity.
Traditions.
At both the practical and spiritual levels, anonymity is a great blessing for the AA fellowship. There is much wisdom behind Traditions Eleven and Twelve.
Yet it is possible to use anonymity as a cloak for pride and fear. This might be the case with alcoholics who insist on concealing their AA membership from fellow workers, neighbors, and friends. They defend this zealous protection of their anonymity by pointing to the traditions. However, this could reveal a lack of understanding and perhaps a lack of commitment to the program.
Why is it useful to let others know we belong to AA? Our best opportunities to help others may come from people who watched us in sobriety and were inspired by our example.
However, we must maintain anonymity at the public media level, and nobody has the right to violate another person's anonymity. Nor is it wise to be critical of the AA member who prefers anonymity at every level. We have no right to pass judgment on such decisions. Above all, we never have a right to break another's anonymity.
I'll try to set a good example for others who may be seeking sobriety. I can find guidance about anonymity.
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Keep It Simple
You must find the ideas that have some promise in them...it's not enough to just have ideas. --George E. Woodberry
Each day we're flooded with ideas. Everyone seems to have found the truth, and now they want to share it. We may feel loaded down with all these ideas. Who and what do we believe? We've fallen on a set of ideas that hold great promise: The Twelve Steps. The ideas of the program have much promise because they're simple. They ask nothing that isn't good for us. They have been proven to work. Now we're people with more than ideas that work. We're people with good ideas that work. When we find ourselves wondering how to live, all we need to do is look to the Steps.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to put my energy into working the Steps.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll list what is right about the Steps for me. What promises do the Steps hold for me?
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Each Day a New Beginning
Reaction isn't action--that is, it isn't truly creative. --Elizabeth Janeway
We must learn how to act rather than react. Unfortunately, we've had lots of training at reacting. And we're all such good imitators. We are a society of reactors. We let the good or the bad behavior of another person determine our own behavior as a matter of course. But the opportunities are unlimited for us to responsibly choose our behavior, independent of all others in our life.
Change is ours, if we want it. A scowl from a spouse need not make us feel rejected. Criticism at work doesn't have to ruin our day. An inconsiderate bus driver might still be politely thanked. And when we decide for ourselves just how we want to act and follow through, self-esteem soars.
If we are put-down, it may momentarily create self-doubt; but when we quickly reassure ourselves that all is well and respond with respect, we grow. A sense of well-being rushes through our bodies.
Being in command of our own feelings and our own actions, prevents that free-floating anxiety from grasping us. We are who we choose to be. And new adventures await us.
The opportunities to react will be many today. But each time I can pause, determine the action I'd feel better about, and take it. My emotional health gets a booster shot each time I make a responsible choice.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. If he does not want to stop drinking, don’t waste time trying to persuade him. You may spoil a later opportunity. This advice is given for his family also. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person.
p. 90
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
However, here I probably took my first step toward my coming alcoholism by developing a terrific aversion to all churches and established religions. At this school we had Bible readings before each meal, and church services four times on Sunday, and I became so rebellious at this time that I swore i would never join or go to any church, except for weddings or for funerals.
pp. 221-222
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
When we have finally admitted without reservation that we are powerless over alcohol, we are apt to breathe a great sigh of relief, saying, "Well, thank God that's over! I'll never have to go through that again!" Then we learn, often to our consternation, that this is only the first milestone on the new road we are walking. Still goaded by sheer necessity, we reluctantly come to grips with those serious character flaws that made problem drinkers of us in the first place, flaws which must be dealt with to prevent a retreat into alcoholism once again. We will want to be rid of some of these defects, but in some instances this will appear to be an impossible job from which we recoil. And we cling with a passionate persistence to others which are just as disturbing to our equilibrium, because we still enjoy them too much. How can we possibly summon the resolution and the willingness to get rid of such overwhelming compulsions and desires?
p. 73
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The past remembered is a good guide for the future. --Chinese Proverb
"One that would have the fruit must climb the tree." --Thomas Fuller
Inspire someone to happiness today by sharing your own blessings and good fortune with them.
Blues Ain't Nothing But A Good Soul Feeling Bad.
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. --Helen Keller
Even when we make a mess of our lives, God loves us and helps us. --Joanne Hillman
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
HOPE
"The hopeful man sees success
where others see failure,
sunshine where others see
shadows and storm."
-- O. S. Marden
Spirituality involves our attitudes and perceptions as well as our
prayers. Spirituality requires a realistic awareness of what we need
and what we have been given. Spirituality sees beyond the problems
into the solution.
Hope is a feeling that is based on a spiritual perception of life that
shuns apathy and negativity. Everything can be used for good if it is
perceived realistically; destructive experiences, painful moments and
failed relationships can all be used to create a new tomorrow.
The hope that stems from our ability to change requires a realistic
understanding of what has happened. No aspect of life should be
wasted because it can point to a glorious tomorrow.
Teach me to discover the secret of success in the problems of life.
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Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
The Lord says, "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you." Isaiah 66:13
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Daily Inspiration
Through the power of God within me, I am stronger than any of my circumstances. Lord, I seek, I knock and I ask and You are always there and ready to give me the miracles that I need.
It is important to remember that different can be better. Lord, as I resist change and cling to the familiar, help me to remember that Your plan is perfect and will truly make me happy.
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NA Just For Today
What Is A Sponsor?
"…an NA sponsor is a member of Narcotics Anonymous, living our program of
recovery, who is willing to build a special, supportive, one-on-one relationship
with us."
IP No. 11, "Sponsorship, Revised"
What is a sponsor? You know: That nice person with whom you had coffee after
your first meeting. That generous soul who keeps sharing recovery experience
free of charge. The one who keeps amazing you with stunning insight regarding
your character defects. The one who keeps reminding you to finish your Fourth
Step, who listens to your Fifth Step, and who doesn't tell anyone how weird you
are.
It's pretty easy to start taking all this stuff for granted once we're used to
someone being there for us. We may run wild for a while and tell ourselves,
"I'll call my sponsor later, but right now I have to clean the house, go
shopping, chase that attractive." And so we end up in trouble, wondering where
we went wrong.
Our sponsor can't read minds. It's up to us to reach out and ask for help.
Whether we need help with our steps, a reality check to help us straighten out
our screwy thinking, or just a friend, it's our job to make the request.
Sponsors are warm, wise, wonderful people, and their experience with recovery is
ours — all we have to do is ask.
Just for today: I'm grateful for the time, the love, and the experience my
sponsor has shared with me. Today, I will call my sponsor.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
When I look back on all these worries I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened. --Winston Churchill
A rolled-up ball of yarn does not take up much space--it sits, ready to be used when needed. It gets unrolled a little bit at a time--just as much as is needed and no more. But a ball of yarn that gets unraveled can be strewn across an entire room. It becomes a jumbled mass, entangled and confusing.
When we live our lives a day at a time, we are like that rolled-up ball of yarn. Our thoughts, feelings, and skills are ready to be used as they are needed. But when we worry, our spirit becomes a jumbled mass of yarn. We get ahead of and behind ourselves--our thoughts are scattered and often our feelings are confused. Worry adds clutter and confusion to life.
What is most helpful is to put the worry away--to roll up the ball of yarn and bring ourselves into the present moment. In this way, we stand ready for each new stitch--and we will never be given more than we are able to handle.
Do I have worries that are cluttering my life today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If the best man's faults were written on Us forehead, it would make him pull his hat over his eyes. --Gaelic proverb
When we deal with our faults and imperfections, we are dealing with the basic issues of being a person. We can become bitter and cynical about the imperfections of others, or we can realize every person is incomplete but growing, just as we are. The way we look at the faults in others and the way we look at our own are closely tied together. In our spiritual journey, we must begin with the premise that no person ever achieves perfection.
Perfection apparently is not what this life is about at all, since perfection is nonexistent. We are lovable, and we can love in the process of living our lives. Since we are not perfect, we have to be accountable. We must have standards for our behavior and hold ourselves to those standards, admitting our mistakes and making repairs where we can.
I will try to acknowledge my mistakes and give up the idea of ever becoming perfect.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Guilt
Feeling good about ourselves is a choice. So is feeling guilty. When guilt is legitimate, it acts as a warning light, signaling that we're off course. Then its purpose is finished.
Wallowing in guilt allows others to control us. It makes us feel not good enough. It prevents us from setting boundaries and taking other healthy action to care for ourselves.
We may have learned to habitually feel guilty as an instinctive reaction to life. Now we know that we don't have to feel guilty. Even if we've done something that violates a value, extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem. So make an amend. Change a behavior. Then let guilt go.
Today, God, help me to become entirely ready to let go of guilt. Please take it from me, and replace it with self-love.
Today I am willing to let go of all my thoughts and opinions that are negative and destructive in my life. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Listen to Your Inner Voice
Our inner voice, that quiet guide within, will lead us along our path, will help us create our destiny, will keep us in harmony.
So much stress comes from not listening, not trusting our inner voice. So much confusion comes from trying to act before we have heard, before we are guided. So much pain comes when we deny what that voice is saying, when we try to run from it or make it go away. We wonder how we can trust ourselves. The better question is, How can we not trust ourselves?
Our rage, anger, and most bitter resentments occur when we trust others rather than ourselves. Yes, sometimes promptings come from outside ourselves. The universe is alive, magical, responsive, and will guide us on our way. But the answer must always resonate, must always ultimately come from that place within our heart, our soul, our inner voice. Sometimes, we need to listen to others until we become impassioned enough to hear and trust ourselves.
It takes practice, the quiet practice of listening, until we learn how to hear ourselves, then interpret what we hear. It is neither wasted time nor incidental to our lives to learn to hear ourselves, to learn to tune into our hearts and souls. That’s part of the reason we’re here– part of our destiny, our mission, our purpose.
Our best work, our finest moments, our joy happen when we’re centered, listening to and trusting ourselves, allowing our hearts and souls to guide us. They happen when we allow ourselves to fully, completely, and in love, be who we are.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Watch out for that woohoo
That’s not flying….It’s falling with style.
–Woody, Toy Story
There is a term in skydiving called relative work. That means you’re controlling your fall rate to match those of the other jumpers in the air– falling in formation with them.
“We are flying,” said a sky diver, flush with adrenaline after a jump, “relative to each other.”
“Sure you are,” I said. “But relative to the earth, you’re falling, and that’s all that counts.”
It’s easy to get caught up in the woohoo of the moment. But don’t forget about humility and reality,too. We can make the right moves, assert ourselves, realize our dreams– but our plans need to be brought down to earth.
Find a path with heart, and walk it. Do things. Enjoy your activities. But also be aware that while you may feel like you are flying, there is a big green planet rushing toward you at 120 miles per hour that begs to differ.
Say woohoo. Have confidence. Then remember that there’s always a power greater than you.
God, help me remember to be grounded and humble in all that I do.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
When we first stopped drinking, using, over-eating, or gambling, it was an enormous relief to find that the people we met in The Program seemed quite different than those apparently hostile masses know as “They.” We were met not with criticism and suspicion, but with understanding and concern. However, we still encounter people who get on our nerves, both within The Program and outside it. Obviously, we must begin to accept the fact that there are people who’ll sometimes say things with which we disagree, or do things we don’t like. Am I beginning to see that learning to live with differences is essential to my comfort and, in turn, to my continuing recovery?
Today I Pray
May I recognize that people’s differences make our world go around and tolerate people who “rub me the wrong way.” May I understand that I must give them room, that some of my hostile attitudes toward others may be leftovers from the unhealthy days when I tended to view others as mobilized against me.
Today I will Remember
Learn to live with Differences.
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One More Day
Tragedy is an initiation not of human beings but of action, life, happiness, and unhappiness.
– Aristotle
Our response to tragedy can be rage, sorrow, or even horror. Those responses, as real as they are, are not as accurate as our optimism, for it is optimism … the belief that life will go smoothly … that gives the label “tragedy” to an event. We are surprised, we are shocked when our optimism is leveled by the unexpected.
A tragedy is an event, a time, a moment, and nothing more. People’s lives are constantly see-sawing between emotions and events. No one is always happy, placid, or tragic. In experiencing life to the fullest, we expose ourselves to all the facets. And that simple act makes us all uniquely human.
I accept my life and the ups and downs of my human experience.
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Food For Thought
Small Decisions
We live this program one day at a time, one meal at a time. Throughout each day, we make many small decisions one at a time. We may often be tempted to take a tiny extra bite, to estimate a portion on the generous side rather than measuring it exactly, or to include a problem food in our menu plan.
Each time we decide not to take the tiny extra bite, each time we weigh and measure exactly, each time we decide to avoid the problem food, we become stronger. The next wise decision becomes easier to make.
One wrong decision does not have to ruin an entire day. None of us is perfect. We can learn to accept the fact of a mistake and move on to the next decision, which needs to be made. We can let our Higher Power total up our score and be the judge of how well we work the program. Our job is to work it, and at every moment we are free to decide wisely.
I pray for wisdom to make the right decisions.
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One Day At A Time
DISCIPLINE AND FREEDOM
" Freedom to a dancer means discipline.
That is what technique is for ... liberation."
Martha Graham
I was thinking this morning that keeping in fit spiritual condition was like being a dancer. A dancer knows that without the discipline of frequent training and rehearsal, he or she will not be able to dance freely when called upon to do so. The dancer who is not in shape will look wrong, feel wrong and become injured trying to do something wild and free. The training may be dull, boring and repetitive at times, but when the performance is on, the dancer soars in the freedom of movement.
I try to look at my daily program tasks the way a dancer looks at training. I may not like every minute, but I have the continual blessing of freedom as I go about my day and the hope of great moments of breakthrough into new freedoms as I progress.
One day at a time ...
I will take each step of my recovery program with my great vision of freedom.
~ Q.
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person like to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. - Pg. 30 - More About Alcoholism
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
The pain and struggle of early recovery is a powerful wind that blows through your life. It blows open the doors to your deepest emotions and tests the very fiber of your being. Yet, after the storm abates, you rebuild on the foundation of love from the fellowship.
In the coming days when I can't be grateful, when I cannot see past the storm, I listen to the beating heart of the fellowship.
Lighting One Candle
Today I will light one candle. I know in my heart that the world has so many sincere and good people in it. People who want to contribute to the world, whose hearts are set in the right direction. I join with all of those good souls today in my deep wish to be part of a force that can heal the world. I say a quiet prayer for all who need it and I unite my soul energy with like minded people. I trust that my good wishes for this world will unite with the good wishes of others and form a silent force that will gather in power and attract more and more energy. My prayers will not go unanswered because they are the prayers of so many. There are so many good people from all walks of life, all corners of the world. We have something very profound in common, our love of life, our love of our world.
I do a small thing with a full heart
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Try to live your life without adding to your Eight Step list. You have enough wreckage to clear up from the past without creating wreckage in the now.
When I feel my worst, I try my best.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Better to go through life sober, thinking you're an alcoholic, than go through life drunk thinking you're not.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I am willing to let go of all my thoughts and opinions that are negative and destructive in my life.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I've got a mind that's trying to kill me. - Bob P.
bluidkiti
02-01-2024, 05:56 AM
February 9
Daily Reflections
GETTING THE "SPIRITUAL ANGLE"
How often do we sit in AA meetings and hear the speaker declare,
"But I haven't yet got the spiritual angle." Prior to this statement, he
had described a miracle of transformation which had occurred in him --
not only his release from alcohol, but a complete change in his whole
attitude toward life and the living of it. It is apparent to nearly
everyone else present that he has received a great gift; " . . . except
that he doesn't seem to know it yet!" We well know that this
questioning individual will tell us six months or a year hence that he
has found faith in God.
LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 275
A spiritual experience can be the realization that a life which once
seemed empty and devoid of meaning is now joyous and full. In my life
today, daily prayer and meditation, coupled with living the Twelve
Steps, has brought about an inner peace and feeling of belonging which
was missing when I was drinking.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
In the past, we kept right on drinking in spite of all the trouble we got
into. We were foolish enough to believe that drinking could still be fun
in spite of everything that happened to us. When we came into A.A.,
we found a lot of people who, like ourselves, had had fun with drinking,
but who now admitted that liquor had become nothing but trouble for
them. And when we found that this thing had happened to a lot of other
people besides ourselves, we realized that perhaps we weren't such
odd ducks after all. Have I learned to admit that for me drinking has
ceased to be fun and has become nothing but trouble?
Meditation For The Day
The lifeline, the line of rescue, is the line from the soul to God. On one
end of the lifeline is our faith and on the other end is God's power. It
can be a strong line and no soul can be overwhelmed who is linked to
God by it. I will trust in this lifeline and never be afraid. God will save
me from doing wrong and from the cares and troubles of life. I will
look to God for help and trust Him for aid when I am emotionally
upset.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that no lack of trust or fearfulness will make me disloyal to
God. I pray that I may keep a strong hold on the lifeline of faith.
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As Bill Sees It
Dealing with Resentments, p. 39
Resentment is the Number One offender. It destroys more alcoholics
than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we
have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have also been
spiritually ill. When our spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out
mentally and physically.
In dealing with our resentments, we set them on paper. We listed
people, institutions, or principles with whom we were angry. We asked
ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our
self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships
(including sex) were hurt or threatened.
<< << << >> >> >>
"The most heated bit of letter-writing can be a wonderful safety
valve--providing the wastebasket is somewhere nearby."
1. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 64-65
2. Letter, 1949
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Walk In Dry Places
Getting started Today____ Responsible activity
For the recovering person, every assignment or day's work can have a disagreeable moment. The problem is getting started____ overcoming our fear of taking the plunge.
The real problem is deeper than the wish to avoid mere unpleasantness. Some of our resistance to getting started may be fear of failure. It could also be a deep-seated desire to live in a problem free environment, where all of our needs can be met without effort on our part. It can even be a desire to return to the quest for constant excitement and stimulation.
We need to know that our answer is in guidance and acceptance. If we have truly committed our will and lives to the care and keeping of our Higher Power, we will find the right path for each day's work. We can also accept any work or challenge that occurs, knowing it is part of a higher order for our lives. Our current situation may be depressing or boring, but it can easily be a stepping stone to our long-term good.
I will meet today's challenges and responsibilities with gratitude and confidence, knowing that God is guiding and directing my life.
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Keep It Simple
H.A.L.T. -- AA Slogan
H.A.L.T. stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. These feelings can be danger to us. They can lead us away from our program. We need to eat regular meals. When we get too hungry, we get cranky. Then we say and do things we regret. We need to turn anger over to our Higher Power, or else our anger turns into rage. We need friends to help us in recovery. If we get to lonely, we may turn our addictive way for friendship. We don't stay sober by ourselves. We need a clear mind to deal with life. If we get too tried, we tend to feel sorry for ourselves. Being tired get us into crazy thinking.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, remind me to H.A.L.T. Help me to not get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll review the four parts of H.A.L.T. In which areas do I practice good self-care? In which areas do I not? How can I improve?
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Each Day a New Beginning
We have seen too much defeatism, too much pessimism, too much of a negative approach. The answer is simple: if you want something very badly, you can achieve it. It may take patience, very hard work, a real struggle, and a long time; but it can be done . . . faith is a prerequisite of any undertaking. . . . --Margo Jones
How many dreams have we let die? How many projects did we start, only to leave them unfinished? How many times have we promised ourselves, "This time will be different," but then didn't work to make it so? Negativity breeds more negativity. Fortunately, its opposite does likewise. Our attitude will carry us a long way. And a positive attitude will make all things possible.
We are meant for good living. But we must seek it out and be open to its invitation, be willing to put forth the necessary effort. Our dreams are our invitations to move forward, to strive for a further goal. And having faith in our ability to achieve our dreams will make easier the necessary steps.
We have been blessed with dreams, all of us. They are gifts meant to stretch our capabilities.
I can trust my dreams and aspirations. They are mine, alone, and special to me. Achievement is possible; faith and a positive attitude will ease my efforts.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him—usually his wife. Get an idea of his behavior, his problems, his background, the seriousness of his condition, and his religious leanings. You need this information to put yourself in his place, to see how you would like him to approach you if the tables were turned.
p. 90
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
At seventeen I entered the university, really to satisfy my father, who wanted me to study medicine there as he had. That is where I had. That is where I had my first drink and I still remember it, for every "first" drink afterwards did exactly the same trick--I could feel it go right through every bit of my body and down to my very toes. But each drink after the "first" drink seemed to become less and less effective and after three or four they all seemed like water. I was never a hilarious drunk; the more I drank the quieter I got, and the drunker I got the harder I fought to stay sober. So it is clear that I never had any fun out of drinking--I would be the soberest-seeming one in the crowd and all of a sudden I would be the drunkest. Even that first night I blacked out, which leads me to believe that I was an alcoholic from my very first drink. The first year in college I just got by in my studies, and that year I majored in poker and drinking. I refused to join any fraternity, as I wanted to be a free lance, and that year my drinking was confined to one-night stands, once or twice a week. The second year my drinking was more or less restricted to week-ends, but I was nearly kicked out for scholastic failure.
p. 222
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
But again we are driven on by the inescapable conclusion which we draw from A.A. experience, that we surely must try with a will, or else fall by the wayside. At this stage of our progress we are under heavy pressure and coercion to do the right thing. We are obliged to choose between the pains of trying and the certain penalties of failing to do so. These initial steps along the road are taken grudgingly, yet we do take them. We may still have no very high opinion of humility as a desirable personal virtue, but we do recognize it as a necessary aid to our survival.
pp. 73-74
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Decision is the spark that ignites action. Until a decision is made, nothing happens. --Wilfred A. Peterson
"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was." --Irish Proverb
"Don't rent space to anyone in your head." --Anon.
I trust and believe God wants good things for me. --Shelley
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
--Melody Beattie
When we look around us with eyes of faith, we may see paradise. --Scott Sawyer
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
ENVIRONMENT
"Love your neighbor as thyself,
but choose your neighbor."
-- Louise Beal
Part of my recovery and sobriety involves change. It is not enough to
"put down the jug" to gain sobriety; I need to make substantial
changes in my life.
Where I live, with whom I live, the friends I keep and the relationships
I make are crucial to my sobriety. Human beings imitate. They imitate
clothes, hairstyles and mannerisms. Sobriety is also imitated.
As a recovering alcoholic, I can only be spiritually happy with those
who are joyous and free; I need to find them.
God, You are to be found in Your creation. Let me seek You in a noble
lifestyle.
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"For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down themiddle wall of separation." Ephesians 2:14
To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in His throne.
Revelation 3:21
"My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power." I Corinthians 2:4
"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8
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Daily Inspiration
When you feel down, look up. Lord, at all times and in the midst of all that is happening, You are there comforting, healing, and bringing peace to my life.
Know that you can do even if things are not always easy. Lord, in You I have the support of an unlimited power source and can accomplish great things because You strengthen me.
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NA Just For Today
Self-acceptance
"When we accept ourselves, we can accept others into our lives, unconditionally
probably for the first time."
IP No. 19, "Self-Acceptance"
From our earliest memories, many of us felt like we never belonged. No matter
how big the gathering, we always felt apart from the crowd. We had a hard time
"fitting in." Deep down, we believed that if we really let others get to know
us, they would reject us. Perhaps our addiction began to germinate in this
climate of self-centeredness.
Many of us hid the pain of our alienation with an attitude of defiance. In
effect, we told the world, "You don't need me? Well, I don't need any of you,
either. I've got my drugs and I can take care of myself!" The further our
addiction progressed, the higher the walls we built around ourselves.
Those walls begin to fall when we start finding acceptance from other recovering
addicts. With this acceptance from others, we begin to learn the important
principle of self-acceptance. And when we start to accept ourselves, we can
allow others to take part in our lives without fear of rejection.
Just for today: I am accepted in NA; I fit in. Today, it's safe to start letting
others into my life.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Leave yourself alone. --Jenny Janacek
Three women were talking. One blamed herself for an unkind remark someone had made to her. Another blamed herself for not getting work done. The other compared her looks to those of the movie stars and thought she was ugly.
The women each noticed how the other two had put themselves down without being aware of it, and they began to laugh. Then they vowed to be as kind to themselves as they were to each other. Each time they caught themselves being mean to themselves, they imagined they were their own best friend, and were as understanding to themselves as they were to one another.
When we are kind to ourselves, only then can we be truly kind to others, and make ourselves a gift to those around us.
How have I been kind to myself lately?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be either good or evil. --Hannah Arendt
How often have we found ourselves in a predicament and innocently saying, "How did I get into this?" When someone has been injured by our actions because we failed to think about them, do we take the responsibility? If a friend is unfairly treated on the job, do we take a stand for him? When we know people are starving, what do we do about it? When our loved ones say they are lonely and wish we would talk to them, how do we respond?
In this program we have chosen to live by our values. We cannot sit passively and fail to live up to those values. Each situation is different, so we must think about what is called for. When we do not think about our reactions, we are in danger of adding to the evil in the world. When we act upon our principles, we feel more hopeful and wholesome.
Today, I will be alert to the difference between good and evil in my actions. I pray for the strength to take a stand.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go in Love
When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don't love you - they are saying they don't love themselves. --Codependent No More
Gentle people, gentle souls, go in love.
Yes, at times we need to be firm, assertive: those times when we change, when we acquire a new behavior, when we need to convince others and ourselves we have rights.
Those times are not permanent. We may need to get angry to make a decision or set a boundary, but we can't afford to stay resentful. It is difficult to have compassion for one who is victimizing us, but once we've removed ourselves as victims, we can find compassion.
Our path, our way, is a gentle one, walked in love - love for self, love for others. Set boundaries. Detach. Take care of ourselves. And as quickly as possible, do those things in love.
Today, and whenever possible. God let me be gentle with others and myself. Help me find the balance between assertive action taken in my own best interests, and love for others. Help me understand that at times those two ideas are one. Help me find the right path for me.
Today I have the courage to follow my own inner voice that I hear in prayer and meditation. Today I dare to be true to myself and my own needs, whether anyone agrees with me or not. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Keep Your Heart Open
Keep your heart open, even when you can’t have what you want.
It’s easy to keep our heart open to life’s magic and all its possibilities when we have what we want. It’s more of a challenge, and more necessary than ever, to keep our hearts open when we can’t have what we want.
Even on the best journey, things happen. Plans change. Things shift and move around. This shifting and moving causes doors to close, relationships to end, blocks and frustrations to appear on our path. For now, that is what we see. For now, what we know is disappointment. We can’t have what we want, and it hurts. When that happens, our tendency may be to shut down, close our hearts, forget all we’ve learned.
Keep your heart open anyway. Consciously choose to do that. Yes, you can go away, you can leave, you can shut down, but you don’t need to. Now is a turning point. If you choose to open your heart, even when you can’t have what you want, miracles will unfold.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Get to know yourself
I opened the curtains in the King David Hotel overlooking the walled city in Jerusalem. This entire trip had been an adventure, but not the exciting kind. Nothing had gone as I planned. Usually on my excursions, I met people, connected with them, learned lessons, broke bread, and had fun. This trip had been different. I had barely spoken to anyone.
One night in the hotel restaurant, a woman motioned for me to join her for dinner. She spoke Hebrew. I spoke English. We sat and ate in silence. I had been to Egypt, the Sinai Peninsula. Now here. And that’s the closest I came to human contact on the entire trip.
The past week, I had traveled through Safad, a town in the Holy Land. It was the home of the kabbalah, the mystical sect of Judiasm, and one of the places where the purest, most intense form of meditation had been born. Although I had just wandered lightly through that land, something peculiar had happened to me, ever since I’d been there. I could hear my every thought. I was acutely aware of each emotion I felt.
It was as though my life had become a walking meditation.
But I was feeling lonely, and feeling bored.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Why haven’t I connected with anyone on this trip?”
“Yes, you have,” was the gentle answer I heard. “You’ve connected with yourself.”
Rays of light were streaming in through the window, in those first few colorful moments when the sun fills the sky. Music from a flute floated up from the courtyard below. Maybe even when we’re bored and lonely, all is well in the world.
Take some time on a regular basis to write in a journal, to meditate, or to do both. You’ll meet an interesting, exciting person. You’ll get to know yourself.
God, help me welcome those quiet spaces in my life as opportunities to connect with myself.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
The slogan “Live and Let Live” can be extremely helpful when we are having trouble tolerating other people’s behavior. We know for certain that nobody’s behavior — no matter how offensive, distasteful or vicious — is worth the price of a relapse. Our own recovery is primary, and while we must be unafraid of walking away from people or situations that cause us discomfort, we must also make a special effort to try to understand other people — especially those who rub us the wrong way. Can I accept the fat, in my recovery, that it is more important to understand than to be understood?
Today I Pray
When I run headlong into someone’s unpleasant behavior, may I first try my best to understand. Then, if my own sobriety seems threatened, may I have the courage to remove myself from the situation.
Today I Will Remember
Live and Let Live
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One More Day
A chronic illness invades life.
– Kathleen Lewis
Chronic illness means permanently changing our mindset to realize we can move only forward from this point in our life. Chronic illness means pushing back the “front tears” in our mind so we can expand the frontiers of our days. Being ill means sometimes laughing with tears trapped in our hearts, so we won’t have to be singled out as different from others. Chronic illness is becoming used to how we look today, right now, and not wasting more time longing for lost yesterdays.
If we haven’t realized it yet, we will need more emotional support than perhaps at any other time in our experience. Regardless of how strong and independent we may be, we need comfort and support from those who love us.
Longing for the “old days” and “old ways” won’t bring them back. I am learning to accept changes. They are not imposing upon my life — they are my life.
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Food For Thought
You are not alone.
In the past, you may have fought a lonely battle with your inability to control your eating and the resultant weight problem. You may have thought that you were the only person who did such crazy, sneaky things in order to stuff yourself with food you did not need but could not stop eating. You may have lied to others about what you ate, and you may also have lied to yourself.
Family and friends probably tried to help. Despite the best intentions, it is difficult for one who is not a compulsive overeater to fully understand and help one who is.
In OA, you have been given a mutual support system. You have found people who understand you because they are like you. We all have the same problem, and together we are strong enough to solve it. Let's use the help that the OA fellowship gives us and gain strength from the greater strength of the group.
May I contribute to the warmth and support of the OA fellowship.
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One Day At A Time
~ BLESSINGS ~
There are no mistakes, no coincidences.
All events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I certainly never had a charmed life as a child, and when I was told to count my blessings, I never thought that I had that much to shout about. I was a shy and lonely child, always self-conscious about my shape and size, and everyone else seemed to be far better off than I was. When life started to deal out blows that were far more than I thought I could handle, I wondered why bad things always seemed to happen to me. I would hardly recover from one traumatic event when another one was upon me. I felt life was definitely unfair. Using food seemed to be the only way that I knew to cope.
I was looking for a solution, for some way to make my life a happier one. Fortunately, I was finally brought to my knees by the pain of my compulsive overeating. In working the Steps of this wonderful program, I have come to some amazing realizations. All the time I had railed against my misfortunes, I was being brought to some new understanding.
With the growing openness I now have, I can more clearly see why certain things in my life had to happen, and even why I became a compulsive overeater. Unlike the past, when I used to hate this disease, I now see it as a blessing, from which I can learn and grow. If it were not for this disease, I would not have needed to look at my life, nor would I have had to work at trying to make myself into a better person. I most certainly would not have needed to find a God of my understanding, nor would I have met so many wonderful new friends, who always love and support me.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that the events in my life are not dealt out to me as a form of punishment, but rather as motivating factors in my life, that spur me on to grow and change as a person.
~ Sharon S. ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
We have learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. - Pg. 30 - More About Alcoholism
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Service to another addict/alcoholic or to our group can help calm us when the jitters get rough. Think of one other fellow recoverer who also seemed jittery at the last meeting or maybe didn't show up. You can get in touch with them today and ask if you can help.
God, as I understand You, give me the right words to comfort or to encourage a fellow alcoholic / addict.
Living Truly
Today I will live the life I wish to have. If I want not be manipulative or deceitful in my relationships, I will be an honest person. If I want goodness and decency surrounding me, I will be good and decent. If I want to feel love coming towards me, I will love others. Today I won't ask life to be something I'm not willing to be. Today, I accept that what I put out, comes back to me.
I live the life I want to have
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
When you work with others, you allow Divine Intelligence to speak and smile through you. You allow the Divine to reach out and hug the drunk, the junkie, and the dope head.
All people smile in the same language.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Nobody 'gives' you a bad day without your permission.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I have the courage to follow my own inner voice that I hear in prayer and meditation. Today I dare to be true to myself and my own needs, whether anyone agrees with me or not.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
It says in Chapter Five; 'If you have decided you want what we have..' Decision. '..and are willing to go to any lengths to get it.' Action. As far as I can tell, that summarizes everything in life: Decision, Action, Result. - Cubby S.
bluidkiti
02-01-2024, 05:57 AM
February 10
Daily Reflections
I DON'T RUN THE SHOW
When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed
crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to
fearlessly face the proposition that either God is
everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or
He isn't. What was our choice to be?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.53
Today my choice is God. He is everything. For this I
am truly grateful. When I think I am running the show
I am blocking God from my life. I pray I can remember
this when I allow myself to get caught up into self.
The most important thing is that today I am willing
to grow along spiritual lines, and that God is
everything. When I was trying to quit drinking on my
own, it never worked; with God and A.A., it is
working. This seems to be a simple thought for a
complicated alcoholic.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Since I realize that I had become an alcoholic and
could never have any more fun with liquor and since
I knew that from then on liquor would always get me
into trouble, common sense told me that the only
thing left for me was a life of sobriety. But I
learned another thing in A.A., the most important
thing anyone can ever learn, that I could
call on a Higher Power to help me keep away from
liquor, that I could work with that Divine Principle
in the universe and that God would help me to live
a sober, useful, happy life. So now I no longer care
about the fact that I can never have any more fun
with drinking. Have I learned that I am much happier
without it?
Meditation For The Day
Like a tree, I must be pruned of a lot of dead
branches, before I will be ready to bear good fruit.
Think of changed people as trees which have been
stripped of their old branches, pruned, cut and bare,
but through the dark, seemingly dead branches flows
silently, secretly, the new sap, until with the sun
of spring, comes new life. There are new leaves, buds,
blossoms and fruit, many times better because of the
pruning. Remember, I am in the hands of a Master
Gardener, who makes no mistakes in His pruning.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may cut away the dead branches of my
life. I pray that I may not mind the pruning, since
it helps me to bear good fruit later.
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As Bill Sees It
Membership Rules?, p. 41
Around 1943 or 1944, the Central Office asked the groups to list their
membership rules and send them in. After they arrived we set them all
down. A little reflection upon these many rules brought us to an
astonishing conclusion.
If all of these edicts had been in force everywhere at once it would have
been practically impossible for any alcoholic to have ever joined A.A.
About nine-tenths of our oldest and best members could have never
gotten by!
<< << << >> >> >>
At last experience taught us that to take away any alcoholic's full chance
for sobriety in A.A. was sometimes to pronounce his death sentence, and
often to condemn him to endless misery. Who dared to be judge, jury,
and executioner of his own sick brother?
1. Grapevine, August 1946
2. 12 & 12, p. 141
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Walk In Dry Places
What is rightfully mine___Personal Gains
One of the hard lessons of life is that we can't always "win" in the worldly game for prestige, power, and property. It is especially galling to see rewards going to others that don't seem to have earned them. Much of the world's conflict, in fact, grows out of disputes over what rightfully belongs to whom.
In sobriety, we need a higher perspective than what we're likely to find in the brawling world around us. Rather than demanding rights to anything, we should know that everything is part of a spiritual world. The real meaning of the last line of The Lord's Prayer is that all power, prestige, and property belong to our Higher Power. Whatever we have or will acquire is only temporary, at best, and can easily be lost through wrong thinking and bad actions.
Emmet Fox, whose writings guided the early A members, taught that we possess things only through "rights of consciousness." In perfectly legitimate ways, we will always possess whatever is necessary for our real work in this life. If one door closes, another will always open. We do not have to envy anything that others possess, nor should we attempt to wrestle it from them. God will always lead us to whatever we need for our highest good.
I will not fret this day about any lost property or opportunities. My needs will be met in a satisfactory manner as I continue to seek the highest and best in every situation.
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Keep It Simple
Life didn't promise to be wonderful. ---Teddy Pendergrass
Life doesn't promise us anything, except a chance. We have a chance to live any way we like. No matter how we choose to live, we'll have pain and we'll have joy. And we can learn from both.
Because of our recovery program, we can have life's biggest wonder---love. We share it in a smile, a touch, a phone call, or a note. We share it with our friends, our partners, our family. Life didn't promise to be wonderful, but it sure is full of little wonders! And we only have to open up and see them, feel them, and let them happen.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see the wonders of life today, in nature, in people's faces, in my own heart.
Action for the Day: I can help make a wonderful things happen for others, with a smile, a greeting, a helping hand. What "little" things will I do for somebody today?
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Each Day a New Beginning
God knows no distance. --Charleszetta Waddles
As close as our breath is the strength we need to carry us through any troubled time. But our memory often fails us. We try, alone, to solve our problems, to determine the proper course of action. And we stumble. In time we will turn, automatically, to that power available. And whatever our need, it will be met.
Relying on God, however we understand God's presence, is foreign to many of us. We were encouraged from early childhood to be self-reliant. Even when we desperately needed another's help, we feared asking for it. When confidence wavered, as it so often did, we hid the fear--sometimes with alcohol, sometimes with pills. Sometimes we simply hid at home. Our fears never fully abated.
Finding out, as we all have found, that we have never needed to fear anything, that God was never distant, takes time to sink in. Slowly and with practice it will become natural to turn within, to be God-reliant rather than self-reliant.
Whatever our needs today, God is the answer.
There is nothing to fear. At last, I have come to know God. All roads will be made smooth.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. The family may object to this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to risk it. Don’t deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered. You should be described to him as one of a fellowship who, as part of their own recovery, try to help others and who will be glad to talk to him if he cares to see you.
p. 90
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
In the spring of 1917, in order to beat being fired from school, I became "patriotic" and joined the Army. I am one of the lads who came out of the service with a lower rank than when I went in. I had been to OTC the previous summer, so I went into the Army as a sergeant but I came out a private, and you really have to be unusual to do that. In the next two years, I washed more pans and peeled more potatoes than any other doughboy. In the Army, I became a periodic alcoholic--the periods always coming whenever I could make the opportunity. However, I did manage to keep out of the guardhouse. My last bout in the Army lasted from November 5 to 11, 1918. We heard by wireless in the fifth that the Armistice would be signed the next day (this was a premature report), so I had a couple of cognacs to celebrate; then I hopped a truck and went AWOL. My next conscious memory was in Bar le Duc, many miles from base. It was November 11, and bells were ringing and whistles blowing for the real Armistice. There I was, unshaven, clothes torn and dirty, with no recollection of wandering all over France but, of course, a hero to the local French. Back at camp, all was forgiven because it was the End, but in the light of what I have since learned, I know I was a confirmed alcoholic at nineteen.
pp. 222-223
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
But when we have taken a square look at some of these defects, have discussed them with another, and have become willing to have them removed, our thinking about humility commences to have a wider meaning. By this time in all probability we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or anxiety--in other words, to all of us--this newfound peace is a priceless gift. Something new indeed has been added. Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.
p. 74
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"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." --Henry James
"You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." --Dale Carnegie
"You will regret many things in life but you will never regret being too kind or too fair." -–Brian Tracy
In the process of growing to spiritual maturity, we all go through many adolescent stages. --Miki L. Bowen
Love is not an exchange of favors. Love is something you give away.
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
INSIGHT
"Nothing is more terrible than
activity without insight."
-- Thomas Carlyle
I believe that recovery can only begin when we "see" or start to get a
glimpse of who we are and what we are dealing with . . . insight; an
insight into self.
However, the moment we begin to see must be followed by a
determined effort to discover more; digging through the denial, pain
and manipulation to the disease. Then after discovering the disease in
our lives, we must be prepared to risk talking about it --- on a daily
basis.
Recovery requires a daily desire to see, discover and talk about our
addiction --- with this insight comes recovery.
You are the light of the world; shine through my honesty.
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"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!" Psalms 150:6
"Remember to welcome strangers, because some who have done this have welcomed angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2
"Love your neighbor as you love yourself." Galatians 5:14
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Daily Inspiration
Each morning gives us one more chance to pray, one more chance to help another and one more chance to make this a better world. Lord, thank you for working in and through everything.
Not one day passes without receiving wonderful blessings from our loving and generous God. Lord, may I forget the irritations that distract me from Your happiness.
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NA Just For Today
Fun!
"In recovery our ideas of fun change"
Basic Text, p. 102
In retrospect, many of us realize that when we used, our ideas of fun were rather bizarre. Some of us would get dressed up and head for the local club. We would dance, drink and do other drugs until the sun rose. On more than one occasion, gun battles broke out. What we then called fun, we now call insanity.
Today, our notion of fun has changed. Fun to us today is a walk along the ocean, watching the dolphins frolic as the sun sets behind them. Fun is going to an NA picnic, or attending the comedy show at an NA convention. Fun is getting dressed up to go to the banquet and not worrying about any gun battles breaking out over who did what to whom.
Through the grace of a Higher Power and the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, our ideas of fun have changed radically. Today when we are up to see the sun rise, it's usually because we went to bed early the night before, not because we left a club at six in the morning, eyes bleary from a night of drug use. And if that's all we have received from Narcotics Anonymous, that would be enough.
Just for today: I will have fun in my recovery!
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A bird does not sing because he has an answer. He sings because he has a song. --Joan Walsh Anglund
Each of us has a song to sing, just as birds do. Part of knowing who we are is appreciating our own songs. Are our songs gentle like the robins, or are we brilliant leaders like the bluejay? Are we easy to be around like the sparrow, or do we radiate joy and laughter like the loon?
Each of these birds has something special to offer. So do we, with our own unique personalities and talents. What a waste it would be if the loon never dashed across the lake because he wanted to be a robin instead. It is important to learn who we are and to believe we are special in our own way. We give joy to the world around us when we sing our own songs.
Have I listened to my own song lately?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few. --Shunryu Suzuki
As we travel the path of recovery, we are sometimes overwhelmed by a feeling of how much we lack. It rises within us as a feeling of inadequacy, emptiness, or loneliness. We are in pain because we feel like such beginners. Now we need to discard our competitive thinking, our drive to be on top, and accept another, wiser, way of seeing. The big difference is in being on the path of recovery rather than lost on some diversion, as we have been in the past. It is not important how far along we are or who is ahead of whom. The important thing is that we are on the path and experiencing the process.
In recovery, wisdom comes with staying a beginner. Then we remain open to further learning. In some sense this program and our mutual powerlessness are the great levelers. Once on the path, we are all equals.
Today, I will appreciate my vulnerability. It keeps me spiritually alive and growing.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Sadness
A block to joy and love can be unresolved sadness from the past.
In the past, we told ourselves many things to deny the pain: It doesn't hurt that much.... Maybe if I just wait, things will change.... It's no big deal. I can get through this.... Maybe if I try to change the other person, I won't have to change myself.
We denied that it hurt because we didn't want to feel the pain.
Unfinished business doesn't go away. It keeps repeating itself, until it gets our attention, until we feel it, deal with it, and heal. That's one lesson we are learning in recovery from codependency and adult children issues.
Many of us didn't have the tools, support, or safety we needed to acknowledge and accept pain in our past. It's okay. We're safe now. Slowly, carefully, we can begin to open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the process of feeling what we have denied so long - not to blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in preparation for a better life.
It's okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness many of us have stored within for so long. We can feel and release these feelings.
Grief is a cleansing process. It's an acceptance process. It moves us from our past, into today, and into a better future - a future free of sabotaging behaviors, a future that holds more options than our past.
God, as I move through this day, let me be open to my feelings Today, help me know that I don't have to either force or repress the healing available to me in recovery. Help me trust that if I am open and available, the healing will happen naturally, in a manageable way.
Today I look inside for my answers. Today I will trust my instincts and my connecting to my Higher Power. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Free Yourself from Manipulation
Learn to recognize passive-aggressive hits. Learn to recognize when other people have hidden agendas, when they’re trying to control or manipulate you. When we’re being controlled, we may feel guilty, obligated, indebted. In our muddled state, we agree to another’s wishes but we’re not sure why. Then we wander around feeling uncertain, unbalanced, confused.
The lesson still isn’t about them. The lesson is about how we respond. If their behavior, their energy, is affecting us that strongly, it’s because something in us needs to be healed. A part of us isn’t clear, is still mucked up by something old and outworn, such as guilt or fear. Once we heal ourselves, we will know how to deal with their energy, how to handle their passive-aggressive behavior and their attempts to control us. Then we can thank them for helping trigger our healing process, for helping us grow.
Everything that happens along the way is part of the journey. Everything can be incorporated into our healing process. All roads lead to growth.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Say woohoo even if you don’t like where you are
“Once you get into the desert there’s no going back,” said the camel driver.” And when you can’t get back, you have to worry only about the best way of moving forward.”
–Paulo Coello, The Alchemist
Sometimes we get into situations and we can easily get out. We date someone, it’s not right for us, and we stop seeing that person. We experiment with drinking or drugs, decide that this isn’t for us, and we stop experimenting. We accept a job, it’s not what we want or hoped it would be, so we leave and find another.We may even marry someone who’s not right for us, and we get out. No children. No excessive property or financial entanglements. It’s a mistake. We’re sorry. There may be a few emotions involved, but correction is relatively painless and easy.
There are other times when it’s not easy. We don’t just date the person. We get married, have one or more children, and then realize we’ve made a mistake. We begin using alcohol or drugs, and wake up one day to find that our life is out of control. What we need to do is stop drinking, and it’s the very thing we can’t do, at least not without help. Or we accept the job or sign a contract, one with serious legal entanglements and consequences.
These are the situations that bring us to our knees. It is in these situations that we work out our destiny. If we’ve hit a point of no return with some situation in our lives, the only way out is through.
Surrender to the experience. You may not have bargained for this, may not have consciously desired it. Learn to say woohoo anyway. You’re meeting your destiny head-on. A spiritual adventure has just begun.
God, help me be gentle with others and myself as we each work out our destinies, karma, and fate. Give me the courage, help, insight, resilience, and grace to learn all the lessons I came here to face.
Activity: Write your memoirs. This is an extensive activity. If you take the time to do it, you will learn much about yourself. Break down your life into stories. Don’t worry about writing a literary masterpiece. Just break your life down into sections and write about what you learned. Write about what you went through– how you thought it would be, what it actually turned into, how you struggled against this, and how you finally saw the light and learned the lesson at hand. We all have ways of keeping a timeline of our lives, for instance, graduation, marriage, divorce, getting that big job, our sobriety date. This is a journal you may want to keep and add to for the rest of your life. It is your book of life. An interesting twist on this activity is to give your memoirs to your children, or ask your parents to do this activity as a gift. Reading your parents’ memoirs can be an enlightening and healing event.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
Until now, we may have equated the idea of beginning again with a previous record of failure. This isn’t necessarily so. Like students who finish grade school and begin again in high school, or workers who find new ways to use their abilities, our beginnings must not be tinged with a sense of failure. In a sense, every day is a time of beginning again. We need never look back with regret. Life is not necessarily like a blackboard that must be erased because we didn’t solve problems correctly, but rather a blackboard that must be cleaned to make way for the new. Am I grateful for all that has prepared me for this moment of beginning?
Today I Pray
May I understand that past failures need not hamper my new courage or give a murky cast to my new beginnings. May I know, from the examples of others in The Program, that former failings, once faced and rectified, can be a more solid foundation for a new life than easy-come successes.
Today I Will Remember
Failings can be footings for recovery.
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One More Day
The best thinking has been done in solitude. The worst has been done in turmoil.
– Thomas Edison
When the rush of a busy world becomes overwhelming, we can restore ourselves to peace and tranquility. When we feel battered by the stress of the day, it’s time to take a few moments for relaxation. We need to steady ourselves; in fact, we owe it to ourselves.
Solitude, meditation, serenity — these can be ourse if we settle in for a few moments of private time. Alne. Taking this time is not self-indulgent; it’s self-care and simple to do. We can tune the radio to some beautiful, soft music and sit back with a cup of herbal tea. Taking slow breaths, we can allow our bodies to relax with the warmth of the tea, the beauty of the music and the solitude of the moment.
I relish the gift of privacy and relaxation each day.
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Food For Thought
Write Before You Eat
When you are tempted to grab an extra bite, stop and make contact with another OA member. If you cannot bring yourself to make the call, or if you make it and still want to eat, then try writing.
Before you take the bite, write down exactly how you are feeling, what you think the extra food will do for you, what the likely result will be, and how you will feel an hour later. It is a good idea to keep a pad of paper handy in the kitchen; you can grab a pencil instead of food.
Often the process of writing down exactly how you are feeling will reveal the hidden emotions which are masquerading as hunger and a desire to eat. You may discover that you are angry, or fearful, or lonely. Write the feelings and write the consequences of eating because of them.
Grant me insight, Lord, and self-understanding.
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One Day At A Time
~ ATTITUDE ~
The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude.
Viktor Frankl
I have always found someone like Viktor Frankl to be an inspiration. His attitude to life totally amazes me, especially after suffering and losing all his family in the Nazi concentration camps. How could anyone come away from an experience like that and still find meaning in life, much less meaning in suffering? I certainly could never find any meaning in all the years of suffering through compulsive eating which caused me so much pain. Life didn't seem meaningful at the time, and I wondered if it ever could. But one of the things I have learned in the program is that I can allow myself to wallow in self pity, which I did many times, or I can take the lessons from my life's experiences and use them as opportunities for growth. That has not been an easy one for me in my journey, and there have been many times when life just seemed to be too hard. I wondered whether I had the same strength and positive attitude that Viktor Frankl did. Intellectually I know that attitude is a choice I make. There have been times when I've been depressed and full of self pity and I allowed myself to sink into that abyss of despair. But now, knowing that I have a choice, that I can pick myself up and "act as if," I can have a positive attitude. When I make the positive choice, miraculous things happen, and life somehow seems a lot easier.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will make a choice to think positive thoughts, and try to emulate people like Viktor Frankl and others who have battled enormous difficulties and yet kept a positive attitude. When I do that, I know my life will become infinitely better.
~ Sharon ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their simple way of living and thinking. - Pg.50 - We Agnostics
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
In the beginning there probably isn't much time that goes by when you don't think about using. This is normal, after all, you've just lost your constant companion. Only time will remove your constant thoughts of your old buddies, drugs and alcohol, but it does pass.
Every time I think getting high would feel good, let me remember the pain in my gut and fear in my heart just a short time ago.
Getting Even Today
I will push myself through to letting go of some recent insult, knowing that if I don't I bind myself to that energy. Revenge only keeps me stuck at the place of wrong doing. Better to let go the hurt or insult than the act of kindness. If I want to continue to grow my blessings in life, I will look up not down. Today I will look toward someone who has been good to me and I will think of a way to repay their kindness, knowing that when I do that, my own life feels better, too.
I connect myself to the energy of goodness.
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Do not ask what your Higher Power can do for you, but rather what you can do for your Higher Power. This gets us out of self.
Dear God, what can I do for you today?
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Formula for failure: try to please everyone.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I look inside for my answers. Today I will trust my instincts and my connecting to my Higher Power.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
An alcoholic is anyone I don't like who drinks more than me. - Dylan Thomas.
bluidkiti
02-04-2024, 07:53 AM
February 11
Daily Reflections
THE LIMITS OF SELF-RELIANCE
We asked ourselves why we had them [fears]. Wasn't it
because self-reliance failed us?
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.68
All of my character defects separate me from God's will.
When I ignore my association with Him I face the world
and my alcoholism alone and must depend on self-reliance.
I have never found security and happiness through
self-will and the only result is a life of fear and
discontent. God provides the path back to Him and to
His gift of security and comfort. First, however, I
must be willing to acknowledge my fears and understand
their source and power over me. I frequently ask God to
help me understand how I separate myself from Him.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
If we're going to stay sober, we've got to learn to want
something else more than we want to drink. When we first
came into A.A., we couldn't imagine wanting anything else
so much or more than drinking. So we had to stop drinking
on faith, on faith that someday we really would want
something else more than drinking. But after we've been
in A.A. for a while, we learn that a sober life can
really be enjoyed. We learn how nice it is to get along
well with our family at home, how nice it is to do our
work well at the office, how nice it is to try to help
others. Have I found that when I keep sober, everything
goes well for me?
Meditation For The Day
There is almost no work in life so hard as waiting. And
yet God wants me to wait. All motion is more easy than
calm waiting, and yet I must wait until God shows me His
will. So many people have marred their work and hindered
the growth of their spiritual lives by too much activity.
If I wait patiently, preparing myself always, I will be
some day at the place where I would be. And much toil
and activity could not have accomplished the journey so
soon.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may wait patiently. I pray that I may trust
God and keep preparing myself for a better life.
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As Bill Sees It
Self-Confidence and Will Power, p. 42
When first challenged to admit defeat, most of us revolted. We had
approached A.A. expecting to be taught self-confidence. Then we had
been told that so far as alcohol was concerned, self-confidence was no
good whatever; in fact, it was a total liability. There was no such thing
as personal conquest of the alcoholic compulsion by the unaided will.
<< << << >> >> >>
It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to
use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our
whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to
bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into
agreement with God's intention for us. To make this increasingly
possible is the purpose of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
12 & 12
1. p. 22
2. p. 40
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Walk In Dry Places
Practice makes patience.
Acquiring Maturity
Extreme impatience is part of most alcoholic stories: "I want what I want when I want it." When it continues in sobriety, impatience leads to mistakes and accidents. How can we bring impatience under control without losing all drive and initiative?
One route may be to acquire patience through practice. We can devote some time each day to a task that must be done, even if it is tedious and boring. We can make a real effort to be more patient with somebody who is slow or difficult. We can face the fear and anxiety that sometimes make us overwork or turn us into people-pleasers.
These exercises won't eliminate impatience overnight. But they'll produce the satisfaction of knowing that we're getting control of our lives. They will also make us more effective in our dealings with others.
Reminding ourselves that all outcomes aqre in God's hands can help us acquire patience. Willful pushing does not bring the serenity and well being we really seek. We labor in vain if we are seeking goals that are not in line with God's will for us.
I will do my work today with the knowledge that God really is in charge of my life… I do not have to let anything or anyone rob me of my serenity and self-control. I will practice patience in situations where it is needed.
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Keep It Simple
Sanity is madness put to good use.---George Santayana
In Step Two we come to believe a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. In a way, as we work Step Two, we're praying that our madness can be put to good use. This is just what happens. Addiction was wrecking our life. But it's also our addiction that forced us into a new way of life.
As long as we remember what our madness was like, we can put it to good use. When we feel like giving up, let's remember our madness. It will help us go on. When we see someone suffering from the illness of addiction, let's remember our days of madness. It will help us be there for that person. It's also good to remember that our madness is only a pill or a drink away.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I believe You can put my madness to good use. I give up my madness; do with it what You want.
Action for the Day: I'll list a couple ways my Higher Power and I have changed my madness into sanity.
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Each Day a New Beginning
It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you. --Lady Bird Johnson
Preoccupation with self can be the bane of our existence. It prevents all but the narrowest perspective on any problem. It cuts off any guidance from our higher power that may be offered through a friend. It blocks whatever truths are trying to gain our attention. The paradox is that whatever our pain, it is lessened by turning our attention elsewhere, to another's pain or her joy.
When we open our minds to fresh input from others, insights emerge. We need the messages others are trying to give us. Nothing that is said in a loving spirit is empty of meaning for our lives.
We might consider that every conversation we have is a conversation with our Creator. What we need to know, for our own growth, is guaranteed to be revealed in our many conversations with others. But we can't hear another's thoughts until we let go of our own.
Full attention to the persons sent to me will offer me exactly what I need, today. My inner guide has beckoned them. I can be alert, expect solutions, and celebrate the wonder of it all.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him. Neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell him much about you. They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout. You might place this book where he can see it in the interval. Here no specific rule can be given. The family must decide these things. But urge them not to be over-anxious, for that might spoil matters.
pp. 90-91
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
With the war over and back in Baltimore with the folks, I had several small jobs for three years, and then I went to work soliciting as one of the first ten employees of a new national finance company. What an opportunity I shot to pieces there! This company now does a volume of over three billion dollars annually. Three years later, at twenty-five, I opened and operated their Philadelphia office and was earning more than I ever have since. I was the fair-haired boy all right, but two years later I was blacklisted as an irresponsible drunk. It doesn't take long.
p. 223
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
This improved perception of humility starts another revolutionary change in our outlook. Our eyes begin to open to the immense values which have come straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now, our lives have been largely devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as from a plague. We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was always our solution. Character-building through suffering might be all right for saints, but it certainly didn't appeal to us.
p. 74
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Serenity isn't freedom from the storm, it is peace within the storm.
When we release the bitterness, judgment and blame of the past, whether of ourselves or others, the past becomes a stepping stone to spiritual growth, to increased compassion, understanding and love. Today, repeat several times, "I bless my past and see it as a stepping stone to greater good." --Mary Manin Morrissey
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. --William Arthur Ward
Great Spirit, grant that I may not criticize my neighbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasins. --Native American Proverb
Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots. --Frank A. Clark
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
PITY
"When a man has pity on all
living creatures, then only is he
noble."
-- Buddha
We all need each other. More than this, we need to help and sustain
each other. And this concept extends beyond human beings --- the
world is full of other creatures that God has made and which make our
lives so fascinating and entertaining. Animals and plants make up our
ecological history and yet so often we rob and hurt our environment.
Recovery from alcoholism means more than putting down "the drink".
Today I am picking up a responsible attitude that makes me care, on a
spiritual level, for my world.
Lord, as I look around my world I cannot help but worship You.
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If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. 1 John 5:14-15
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. Look to him, and be radiant. Psalm 34:4-5
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Daily Inspiration
God will answer our prayers if we believe, but first we must ask. Lord, I need the strength that only You can give.
God will give you strength because He will give of Himself. Lord, thank You for the many gifts of which You always bless me.
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NA Just For Today
A Curse Into A Blessing
"We have become very grateful in the course of our recovery.... We have a disease, but we do recover" Basic Text, p. 8
Active addiction was no picnic; many of us barely came out of it alive. But ranting against the disease, lamenting what it has done to us, pitying ourselves for the condition it has left us in—these things can only keep us locked in the spirit of bitterness and resentment. The path to freedom and spiritual growth begins where bitterness ends, with acceptance.
There is no denying the suffering brought by addiction. Yet it was this disease that brought us to Narcotics Anonymous; without it, we would neither have sought nor found the blessing of recovery. In isolating us, it forced us to seek fellowship. In causing us to suffer, it gave us the experience needed to help others, help no one else was so uniquely suited to offer. In forcing us to our knees, addiction gave us the opportunity to surrender to the care of a loving Higher Power.
We would not wish the disease of addiction on anyone. But the fact remains that we addicts already have this disease— and further, that without this disease we may never have embarked on our spiritual journey. Thousands of people search their whole lives for what we have found in Narcotics Anonymous: fellowship, a sense of purpose, and conscious contact with a Higher Power. Today, we are grateful for everything that has brought us this blessing.
Just for today: I will accept the fact of my disease, and pursue the blessing of my recovery.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Life deals more rigorously with some than others. --Lewis F. Presnall
How often we think about a friend, He sure is lucky! And probably just as often we say to ourselves, Why did that happen to me? It's not fair! The truth is, life isn't always fair. We don't all get the same experiences, the same lessons. But we each learn what we need to learn in order to fulfill our destiny.
We have to learn to trust. Maybe a bike gets stolen or a friend moves away. It's not easy to accept such things as these, but we must all learn to understand and accept losses in our lives.
Perhaps we fail a test. The lesson we learn from this may be to study harder or to consider a different course of study in school. There are always reasons for why things happen, but we don't have to know them.
Can I trust in the lessons of my failures today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Too much agreement kills a chat. --Eldridge Cleaver
Many of us haven't learned there is room for disagreement in a relationship. Some men who grew up in addicted families saw a lot of pain, anger, and quarreling. Many learned to be always pleasing and agreeable, no matter how they felt. Others took it as a personal insult when someone disagreed with them.
We choke the vitality and excitement in our love relationships if we are too intent on avoiding conflict. Nothing can be resolved if we smooth everything over. Differences between people don't just go away. If we don't bring them out, they fester and create silent tension or boredom. If we willingly express our thoughts and feelings, we can learn how to resolve our disagreements and to appreciate each other for our differences as well as our similarities. If two people in a relationship were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.
Today, I will try to be more open about my differences with people, not as a way of fighting, but as a way of letting them know me better.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Divinely Led
Send me the right thought, word, or action. Shaw me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision please send your inspiration and guidance.
--Alcoholics Anonymous
The good news of surrendering ourselves and our life to a Power greater than ourselves is that we come into harmony with a Grand Plan, one greater than we can imagine.
We are promised Divine Guidance if we ask for it if we work the Twelve Steps. What greater gift could we receive than knowing our thoughts, words, and actions are being directed?
We aren't a mistake. And we don't have to control or repress others or ourselves for life to work out. Even the strange, the unplanned, the painful, and those things we call errors can evolve into harmony.
We will be guided into understanding what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We will begin to trust our instincts, our feelings, and our thoughts. We will know when to go, to stop, and to wait. We will learn a great truth: the plan will happen in spite of us not because of us.
I pray today and each day that my thoughts, words, and actions may be Divinely led. I pray that I can move forward in confidence, knowing my steps are guided.
Even in moments of doubting, I know that my Higher Power has been guiding me on my path today. --Ruth Fishel
*****
Journey to the Heart
The Universe Is Abundant
Watch out for greed-- greed for money, for resources, for love. Greed can slowly corrupt the heart. Greed can slowly take over our lives. Greed and fear can block our connection with the universe, and with universal love.
Let go of the fears of deprivation, of doing without, that haunt you from the past. Having more and more won't solve your problem if what you need is to heal your fears. Look around with love at your life and the people in it. If you open your heart and look without fear, you may see that you have enough now.
Go back to your heart. Let love, not fear and greed, lead the way. Be led by your desire to joyfully serve, by the desire to bring your gifts, your healing, your comforts and talents to others. Go back to your heart as often as you need. And remember what is honorable and true. Say to those you love. This is what I shall give. And I'll give it because my heart leads me to do so.
The universe is abundant. Take your part, take your place, in universal love. Go back to your heart. Give from the heart. And the universe will respond in kind.
*****
more language of letting go
Grief
No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. ... Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not "So there's no God after all," but " So this is what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer."
--C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
There's no way to prepare for deep grief, for the pain that shatters a heart and a life when a beloved leaves.
No one can coach us on it. Those who could, who knew exactly how it felt; who could describe it in detail, wouldn't do it, would not presume to encroach on this most intimate part of our relationship with a loved one. Those who casually say, "Aren't you over that yet?" don't understand.
This much I will tell you about grief. If there was ever a second, or a moment, when you suspected or knew you had been betrayed at the deepest level by someone you adored, and a splintering pain began to shred your heart, turn your world grimly unbearable to the point where you would consciously choose denial and ignorance about the betrayal rather than feel this way, that is one-millionth of what it feels like to grieve.
Grief is not an abnormal condition, nor is it something to be treated with words. It is a universe, a world, unto itself. If you are called to enter this world, there is no turning back. We are not allowed to refuse that call. Grief is like nothing else, with the possible exception of the pounding waves of the ocean. To the untrained, casual eye, each wave looks the same. It is not. No two are the same. And each one washes away the old, and washes in the new.
Gradually, almost imperceptibly, whether we believe it or not, we are being transformed.
God, take care of me those moments and hours when I cannot find the will or power to take care of myself. Transform me, if not in the twinkling of an eye, then over the slow movement of the years, into who I will become.
*****
A Day at a Time
Reflection for the Day
I can always take strength and comfort from knowing I belong to a worldwide fellowship. Hundreds and hundreds of thousands, just like myself, are working together for the same purpose. None of us needs to ever be alone again, because each of us in our own way works for the good of others. We are bound together by a common problem that can be solved by love and understanding and mutual service. The Program – like the little wheel in the old hymn – runs by the grace of God.
Have I thanked God today for helping me to find The Program, which is showing me the way to a new life?
Today I Pray
May my thanks be lifted to God each day for dispelling my self-inflicted loneliness, for warming my stoicism, for leading me to the boundless fund of friendship in The Program.
Today I Will Remember
I have a world of friends.
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One More Day
“You are responsible for your own life and have a job to perform in your healthcare.”
– Neil A. Fiore
It’s a real shock to find out that we have an ongoing medical problem. Lots of us may get quite angry and blame the doctor for the diagnosis. Or we may want to turn it all over to the professionals. But soon we begin to see that we are the primary ones responsible for ourselves. Eventually, we begin to give full cooperation to our doctors and therapist. We become equal members of our healthcare team.
Adjustments are difficult in the best of circumstance, but with the help of those who love us, with the assistance of our doctors, and with our participation, we adjust to chronic illness. Then we can see our problems in their proper perspective and begin again to enjoy our lives.
In accepting changes in my life, I find balance once again.
************************************
Food For Thought
Simplicity
Someone has said that God is simple; it is we who cause the complications. The more we are able to simplify our lives, the more effective we become.
A simple eating plan frees us from being preoccupied with food. We decide what we will have for our three measured meals, we may call the plan in to a sponsor, and then we can forget about food. We are free to concentrate on the jobs and activities of the day. In contrast, how muddled and messy our lives were when we were bingeing!
Turning our will and our life over to our Higher Power frees us from preoccupation with self. Rather than trying to figure out complicated methods of getting things to go our way, we are free to live each day as God gives it to us, trusting His will.
As we grow in this program, may we grow in simplicity.
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One Day At A Time
FREEDOM
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”
Judy Garland
As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be like -- or act like -- someone else. I never allowed myself the freedom to be me. I was my parents' child, my husband's wife, and my children's mother. It wasn't until I came into program wearing all of my identities on my body -- 150 pounds’ worth -- that I was able to see how unhappy I really was.
I began my journey to recovery by slowly discovering the real me underneath all that extra weight. Working the Twelve Steps of recovery helped me to peel away the layers of fear that kept me stuck.
One Day at a Time . . .
I am free to be me ~
And I am enough.
~ Eileen
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink. - Pg. 21 - There Is A Solution
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Even when we consciously don't think we want to get high, our disease of addiction works through our subconscious and calls, 'what do they know; just one won't hurt; well, if they're going to be like that!' Our subconscious pops silly excuses for using into our minds. We must learn to recognize and neutralize these thoughts.
May my subconscious 'arguments' that subtly tell me to use, have no power to influence my true goal of staying clean and clear.
I Can Lift My Own Spirits
I will lift my own spirits today. I will look for that place in me that is still and serene, that isn't just constantly in response mode. Somewhere there is a constant, meditative place where the little and even the even big concerns of the day slip away and become less important. A place where life is just life and I can breathe in and out of a place of inner calm. Life doesn't have to prove itself to me today for me to treasure it. It is enough that I am here, that I have my freedom of thought and movement. I will appreciate the life I have.
I am connected with the divine
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
People who seek a sponsor without faults, will be without a sponsor.
I know that my sponsor is willing to make mistakes, if I am willing to learn from them.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Focus on the program, not the problem.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Even in moments of doubting I know that my Higher Power has been guiding me on my path today.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I wanted to be Clint Eastwood but I was more like Woody Allen. - Trip S.
bluidkiti
02-04-2024, 07:54 AM
February 12
Daily Reflections
"THE ROOT OF OUR TROUBLES"
Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the
root of all our troubles.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62
How amazing the revelation that the world, and everyone
in it, can get along just fine with or without me. What
a relief to know that people, places and things will be
perfectly okay without my control and direction. And
how wordlessly wonderful to come to believe that a power
greater than me exists separate and apart from myself.
I believe that the feeling of separation I experience
between me and God will one day vanish. In the meantime,
faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my
life.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
As we look back on all those troubles we used to have
when we were drinking, the hospitals, the jails, we
wonder how we could have wanted that kind of life. As we
look back on it now, we see our drinking life as it
really was and we're glad we're out of it. So after a few
months in A.A., we find that we can honestly say that we
want something else more than drinking. We've learned by
experience that a sober life is really enjoyable and we
wouldn't go back to the old drunken way of living for
anything in the world. Do I want to keep sober a lot more
than I want to get drunk?
Meditation For The Day
My spiritual life depends on an inner consciousness of
God. I must be led in all things by my consciousness of
God and I must trust Him in all things. My consciousness
of God will always bring peace to me. I will have no fear,
because a good future lies before me as long as I keep my
consciousness of God. If in every single happening, event
and plan I am conscious of God, then no matter what
happens, I will be safe in God's hands.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may have this ever-consciousness of God.
I pray for a new and better life through this God
consciousness.
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As Bill Sees It
How Much Anonymity?, p. 43
As a rule, the average newcomer wanted his family to know
immediately what he was trying to do. He also wanted to tell others
who had tried to help him--his doctor, his minister, and close friends.
As he gained confidence, he felt it right to explain his new way of life
to his employer and business associates. When opportunities to be
helpful came along, he found he could talk easily about A.A. to almost
anyone.
These quiet disclosures helped him to lose his fear of the alcoholic
stigma, and spread the news of A.A.'s existence in his community.
Many a man and woman came to A.A. because of such conversations.
Since it is only at the top public level that anonymity is expected, such
communications were well within its spirit.
12 & 12, pp. 185-186
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Walk In Dry Places
Do it sober___ Practicing Principles
There may be a hidden meaning in that bumper sticker that reminds us to "Do it Sober," but we can also read it to mean that real sobriety should guide everything we do today.
Real sobriety is emotional sobriety. We have it when our principles protect us from overpowering feelings growing out of greed, fear, and resentment. Even without the bottle, an attack of fear or resentment can distort personal judgment and lead to foolish mistakes. Whatever we do, whether it's sweeping a factory floor or leading a corporate board meeting, we should do with confidence and calm self-control.
When we work in this way, we help others. We only harm them if we bring bitterness and resentment into their space. True emotional sobriety helps us set a better example and assures others that AA really works in people's lives. One AA member was pleasantly surprised when he was complimented for remaining calm in confrontations with angry people. HE realized that his AA principles had been at work in his workplace, helping him to maintain a calm dignity that made him assertive and effective. Whatever we do sober, we always do better.
Today I'll remind myself to stay emotionally as well as physically sober. So-called Dry Drunks are not slips, but they destroy my effectiveness and should have no place in my life.
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Keep It Simple
We are always the same age inside.---Gertrude Stein
Deep inside, we each have a child's spirit. We still have many of the feelings we had when we were young. Some of us have a hurting child inside. There's sadness, fear, or anger that hasn't gone away. We're still lonely, no matter how many people care about us. Our inner child needs special help to heal. We can be good parents to our inner child. We do this by being gentle and caring with ourselves. In time, this child can be a happy center in our hearts.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, please heal the child inside of me a little more each day. Help my inner child be alive, free, and full of joy.
Action for the Day: Right now, I'll close my eyes for a minute. I'll think kind thoughts about myself. Than I'll say out loud, "Inner child, I love you. I'll take good care of you." I'll do this two more times today.
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Each Day a New Beginning
There are no new truths, but only truths that have not been recognized by those who have perceived them without noticing. --Mary McCarthy
We understand today ideas we couldn't grasp yesterday. We are conscious this year of details of our past that we may have glossed over at the time. Our blinders are slowly giving way, readying us for the truths we couldn't absorb before.
"When the student is ready, the teacher appears." And the teacher comes bearing truths that we need to assimilate into our growing bank of knowledge. The truths we may be given today, or any day, won't always make us happy immediately. We may learn that a job is no longer right for us. Or that a relationship has reached an end. And the impending changes create unrest. But in the grand scheme of our lives, the changes wrought by these truths are good and will contribute in time to our happiness.
Let's celebrate the truths as they come and trust the outcome to God. We are traveling a very special road. The way is rocky. The bends limit our vision, but we will be given all the direction we need.
The truths I receive today will guide my steps. I shall move in peace.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Usually the family should not try to tell your story. When possible, avoid meeting a man through his family. Approach through a doctor or an institution is a better bet. If your man needs hospitalization, he should have it, but not forcibly unless he is violent. Let the doctor, if he will, tell him he has something in the way of a solution.
p. 91
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
My next job was in sales promotion for an oil company in Mississippi, where I promptly became high man and got lots of pats on the back. Then I turned two company cars over in a short time and bingo--fired again! Oddly enough, the big shot who fired me from this company was one of the first men I met when I later joined the New York A.A. Group. He had also gone all the way through the wringer and had been dry two years when I saw him again.
pp. 223-224
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
Then, in A.A., we looked and listened. Everywhere we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. We heard story after story of how humility had brought strength out of weakness. In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. We began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.
p. 75
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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
May I be an example to those whose lives touch mine. --Shelley
The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. --Chinese Proverb
Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. --Walter Elliott
There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience. --French Proverb
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
FREEDOM
"Freedom comes from human
beings, rather than from laws and
institutions."
-- Clarence Darrow
The disease of alcoholism does not live in bottles or books. It lives in
people. Drug problems are people problems. Sobriety exists in the
man, not the theory.
In this sense recovery must be experienced, rather than simply talked
about. The Program is essentially not written in books or taught in
lecture rooms but is lived in the lives of people; the program stems
from the heart of man.
I believe the program is that spark of divinity that God has bestowed
upon all of us --- and we must discover it within.
Teach me to remember that to think a smile without revealing a smile
is to be grumpy.
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May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalms 19:14
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Ephesians 6:10
But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the one who lifts up my head. Psalm 3:3
Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD. Psalm 150
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Daily Inspiration
Closeness with family makes us one in heart and mind. Lord, help me to fill our home with love and make it our safe haven from the troubles of the world.
Forget what you have done for others and remember what they have done for you. Lord, a gift is given freely with no expectation. May I become a truly giving person.
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NA Just For Today
Living In The Moment
"We regretted the past, dreaded the future, and weren't too thrilled about the present." Basic Text, p. 7
Until we experience the healing that happens when we work the Twelve Steps, it is doubtful that we can find a statement more true than the quote above. Most of us come to NA hanging our heads in shame, thinking about the past and wishing we could go back and change it. Our fantasies and expectations about the future may be so extreme that, on our first date with someone, we find ourselves wondering which lawyer we'll use for the divorce. Almost every experience causes us to remember something from the past or begin projecting into the future.
At first, it's difficult to stay in the moment. It seems as though our minds won't stop. We have a hard time just enjoying ourselves. Each time we realize that our thoughts are not focused on what's happening right now, we can pray and ask a loving God to help us get out of ourselves. If we regret the past, we make amends by living differently today; if we dread the future, we work on living responsibly today.
When we work the steps and pray each time we discover we're not living in the present, we'll notice that those times aren't occurring as often as they used to. Our faith will help us live just for today. We'll have hours, even days, when our full attention is focused on the current moment in time, not the regrettable past or fearful future.
Just for today: When I live fully in each moment, I open myself to joys that might otherwise escape me. If I am having trouble, I will ask a loving God for help.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Oh, a trouble's a ton, or a trouble's an ounce, Or a trouble is what you make it, And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts, But only how you take it. --Edmund Vance Cooke
Once, a woman decided to throw a problem-exchange party. As guests arrived, they shed all their personal problems and tossed them onto a pile with everyone else's. After all had discussed their own problem for others to hear, the party ended with guests selecting from the problem pile those they wished to carry away. Each person left with the same troubles he or she had brought to the party.
We who worry a great deal about our problems are always sure no one else has troubles as bad as ours. Too often, we complain, "If you had my problems, you'd really hurt." Our problems are tailored to us, and geared to help us learn by solving them. No one else's would be quite right.
When we cope with problems, rather than wailing about them, we discover that our own are minor irritations compared to those we see in others.
What problems am I lucky to have?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light I have.
--Abraham Lincoln
With too much focus on control, we men have been preoccupied by our overemphasis on outcomes. We say winning is everything, and the way we play the game doesn't matter. We give honor to a man who has accumulated great wealth, regardless of how he has lived. We develop sexual problems because we focus on performance and achieving orgasm rather than on the joy of loving.
As our integrity grows, our emphasis changes. It is not crucial that we always be right, only that we be honest. We do not have to be winners or high achievers so much as we have to be real human beings. Conquest is not as important as connection. We do not always have to compare ourselves and be better than the next guy. We can exchange and appreciate the communication.
Today, I will grow in my relationships with others by being more true to myself and less driven toward a particular outcome.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Those Not in Recovery
We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering.
Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank; some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior. Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people's pain to distract us from our own pain. Many of us did both: we developed an addictive behavior, and distracted ourselves by focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a bridge. We thought we were trapped on a cliff.
Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened, by the Grace of God, because it was time. We saw the bridge. People told us what was on the other side: warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to start the trek across the bridge anyway.
We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn't listen. They couldn't see it; they couldn't believe. They were not ready for the journey. We decided to go alone, because we believed, and because people on the other side were cheering us onward. The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what we had been promised was real. There was light, warmth, healing, and love. The other side was a better place.
But now, there is a bridge between those on the other side and us. Sometimes, we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us, but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice, when the time is right. Some will come; some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.
We can love them. We can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on, as others have cheered and encouraged us. But we cannot make them come over with us.
If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we have already crossed and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because another's time has not yet come.
The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to cross the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.
Today, I will move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing. I will know it is my right to cross the bridge to a better life, even if I must leave others behind to do that. I will not feel guilty. I will not feel ashamed. I know that where I am now is a better place and where I'm meant to be.
As I let go of all the negative tapes that block my truth, I trust and follow the energy that leads me to peace and joy. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Fill Your World with Color and Beauty
Fill your life and your world with the colors, textures, scents, and objects that are beautiful to you, that have meaning to you. Remember that we are connected to our environment. The objects and the colors in our world have energy and meaning. They have an impact on us.
The more we see how connected we are, the more carefully and thoughtfully we may want to choose the items we place in our home, or our space at work, if we have a special area, because these objects and colors can reflect how we feel about ourselves and what is important to us.
Objects have energy. They have energy already in them when we obtain them, and they have the energy and meaning we attribute to them. Choose carefully the possessions you want around you, for they tell a story all day long.
Fill your world, your life, with objects that are beautiful and have special meaning to you. What articles and hues have you surrounded yourself with at home, at work? Is there a special article you want close to you, on your desk, in your locker, in your pocket? What story do these things tell about you, about what you’re going through, about your place in your journey?
Choose objects and colors that make your heart smile.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Starting over
How many times do we have to start over?
Many changes in our lives signal a major ending or beginning: death, birth, graduation, marriage, divorce, moving to a new home, getting sober, losing a job, or beginning a new career. We look around and think, Here we go. I’m starting over again.
Sometimes we don’t catch on at first. Sometimes it just feels like day after day of the same old thing as the old fades away and the new begins. Sometimes it feels like our lives have just stopped. Whether we believe it or not, when one cycle ends, a new one begins.
If life as you have known it is disappearing, it may be time to let go. Even if you can’t see it now– and you probably can’t– a new life will begin fading in to take its place. You and your life are being transformed.
How many times do we have to start over? As many times as life as we know it ends.
Say woohoo. You’re being born again.
God, help me trust that a new life awaits me if life as I’ve known it is fading away. Give me the patience and trust to sink joyfully into the void.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
I am grateful for my friends in The Program. Right now I am aware of the blessings of friendship — the blessings of meeting, of sharing, of smiling, of listening, and of being available when needed. right now I know that if I want a friend, I must be a friend. Will i vow, this day, to be a better friend to more people? Will I strive, this day — in my thoughts, words and actions — to disclose the kind of friend I am?
Today I Pray
May I restore in kind to the fellowship of The Program the friendship I have so hungrily taken from it. After years of glossing my lonely existence with superficial acquaintanceship, may I learn again the reciprocal joys of caring and sharing.
Today I Will Remember
Be A Friend.
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One More Day
I am where I am because I believe in life’s possibilities.
– Oprah Winfrey
During the years of our youth we were continually reminded, “You can do it. Just set a goal and then reach a little beyond it.” Many of us were better at this as youngsters than we are as adults. We each have fought our own battles — to become educated or perhaps to achieve a promotion or new job. We tend to get a little short-sighted when a new variable enters the picture — a changing health pattern.
Too many of us back away, fearful the we’ll have all we can do to just orchestrate our own health care. It’s imperative that we continue to believe in ourselves as human beings with great potential — it matters less that we reach each goal. It matters most that we try.
I am setting new goals that offer challenge and the chance for success.
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Food For Thought
Acceptance
When we have given our lives back to our Higher Power, we gradually learn to accept what happens to us as part of His plan. Most of us made a mess of trying to run our own lives. We are amazed at how much better things go when we acknowledge that the Power greater than ourselves is in control.
Every experience, the bad one as well as the good one, becomes an opportunity to learn and to serve. We may not like what it is that we are given to do or to feel on a particular day, but we learn to accept it as necessary for our growth. We can look back and see that we have learned even more from our failures than from our successes.
When we accept our lives and ourselves as part of God's creation, we are open to the work of His spirit and His love. Then positive change and growth become possible.
Teach me to accept Your will.
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One Day At A Time
~ POSITIVE THINKING ~
"We could accomplish many more things
if we did not think of them as impossible"
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
from his "Lettres à M. de Malesherbes
I have spent a lifetime dieting. My life can be easily separated into two sections: the dieting periods and the non-dieting, or bingeing, periods. When I first start losing weight, I am positive about it, to the point where, if I go clothes shopping, I even buy things in smaller sizes because soon I won't be as big as I am. This works fine while I'm losing weight, but when I reach a plateau and remain at the same weight level for a while, or even worse, gain a bit, I start to think that I'll never lose the weight I need to lose, that my sticking to a "diet" for the rest of my life is nigh to impossible.
Well, with stinking thinking like this, I'm defeated before I've even started. Through this program, I've learned that anything is possible. First of all, it's true that sticking to a diet for the rest of my life would be an impossible feat, but in program we don't "go on diets." We follow a sensible eating plan, and this plan should be flexible enough that it IS something we can follow indefinitely. Secondly, I have to correct my time spans. Instead of thinking of it as "the rest of my life," I have the option to think of it as "One Day at a Time," and we can do anything for just one day, can't we?
One day at a time ...
I remember that's all it takes...one day at a time.
Marjee
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
In any meeting, anywhere, A.A.'s share experience, strength, and hope with each other, in order to stay sober and help other alcoholics. Modem-to-modem or face-to-face, A.A.'s speak the language of the heart in all its power and simplicity. - Pg. xxiv - Foreword To Fourth Edition
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Slogans seem silly but they are important tools: first things first; one day at a time; kiss. We say them frequently because we need to burn them into our thoughts. Slogans are not 'fillers' for reluctant speakers. They embody important principles necessary to our path of recovery.
With the next slogan I hear, let me really HEAR it, know its importance, and practice it.
Treasures
If I am alive then I need to look around me and feel thankful for the gifts that are mine. There is so much to be grateful for if I am willing to consider the blessings I already have. There is a wisdom in gratitude because what I focus on with appreciation has a way of expanding in my life. If I erase my blessings, I don't feed them with the grace of gratitude. If I give thanks for them, I show the creative force that brings forth all good things that I am worthy enough to appreciate what has been so generously given to me.
I know enough to say thank you
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
You are either progressing or regressing. There is no such thing as standing still; there is no such thing as simply 'gressing.'
I can only coast one way, and that's downhill.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Sobriety is never an accident.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
As I let go of all the negative tapes that block my truth, I trust and follow the energy that leads me to peace and joy.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Willpower tells me I must. Willingness tells me I can. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-04-2024, 07:54 AM
February 13
Daily Reflections
WE CAN'T THINK OUR WAY SOBER
To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman,
many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too
smart for our own good.... Secretly, we felt we could
float above the rest of the folks on our brain power
alone."
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60
Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the
disease of alcoholism. I can't think my way sober. I
try to remember that intelligence is a God-given
attribute that I may use, a joy--like having a talent
for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make
me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly
reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater
than myself who will restore me to sanity--not a high
IQ or a college degree.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Sometimes we can't help thinking: Why can't we ever drink
again? We know it's because we're alcoholics, but why did
we have to get that way? The answer is that at some point
in our drinking careers, we passed what is called our
"tolerance point." When we passed this point, we passed
from a condition in which we could tolerate alcohol to a
condition in which we could not tolerate it at all. After
that, if we took one drink we would sooner or later end
up drunk. When I think of liquor now, do I think of it as
something that I can never tolerate again?
Meditation For The Day
In a race, it is when a goal is in sight that heart and
nerves and muscles and courage are strained almost to the
breaking point. So with us. The goal of the spiritual life
is in sight. All we need is the final effort. The saddest
records made by people are those who ran well, with brave
stout hearts, until the sight of the goal and then some
weakness or self-indulgence held them back. They never
knew how near the goal they were or how near they were to
victory.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached.
I pray that I may not give up in the final stretch.
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As Bill Sees It
Daily Acceptance, p. 44
"Too much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of
others. This is a most subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction,
which permits us to remain comfortably unaware of our own defects.
Too often we are heard to say, 'If it weren't for him (or her), how
happy I'd be!"
<< << << >> >> >>
Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they
are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is
to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can
even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that
unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that
we can profitably practice every day of our lives.
Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the
facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be
the sure foundation upon which increased emotional heath and
therefore spiritual progress can be built.
1. Letter, 1966
2. Grapevine, March 1962
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Walk In Dry Places
When Others Don't perform____Personal Responsibility
There will be times when other people will disappoint us.. either intentionally or because of indifference or incompetence. If we have been counting on them, their nonperformance can cause us real anger and frustration.
Our growth, however, should teach us that such failures are part of life. While never losing trust in others, we must accept them as fallible people. Their mistakes and lapses come from the human shortcomings all of us have.
Our best course is to live without expecting too much from others. They are not here to please or satisfy us. It's possible, too, that we've been unrealistic in some of our expectations and have set ourselves up for disappointments.
Our personal responsibility is to do our best even when others fall short of our expectations. At the same time, we can grow by becoming more reliable and dependable ourselves.
We cannot use another's failure as an excuse for negligence on our part.
Today I'll expect the best, but I will know that I also have the spiritual resources to deal with the worst that can happen.
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Keep It Simple
Tomorrow doesn't matter, for I have lived today. --Horace
Life is found in the present. One of the first things we hear when we enter the program is, One Day at a Time. We break life into short time periods. This give us the power to change. We're not sure we can stay sober for a lifetime. But we know that with God, and our program, we can stay sober for today.
This holds true for many other things in out lives. We're not sure we can go a lifetime without feeling self-pity, but we can give it up for a day. By living One Day at a Time, we become more sure of our strength. We have the power to change things only in the present. The present holds much for us, if we get a hold on it.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You are found in the moment. You are here. I will stay with You minute by minute.
Action for the Day: I will ground myself in the present. Today, I'll not worry about the past or the future.
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Each Day a New Beginning
I have sacrificed everything in my life that I consider precious in order to advance the political career of my husband. --Pat Nixon
Putting another person's needs first is what most of us were trained to do when growing up. We were seldom encouraged to embark on an individual course, and years of taking a back seat taught us that our hopes mattered little.
Now, for some of us, the future looks like a blank wall. It is time to carve out a plan for ourselves, yet how do we decide where we want to go? And how do we get there? The program says, "Live one day at a time." Our friends say, "Take one step at a time."
We have chosen to do something about the circumstances we found ourselves in, or we wouldn't be reading these words. We can stop for a moment and reflect on the many changes thus far. We are already on our way. We have taken a number of necessary steps. What an exciting adventure we have embarked upon! And we will be helped all along the way.
We can trust our inner yearnings, the ones we may have stifled in times past. We can realize our hearts' pure desires, if we seek guidance.
My time has come. I can mold my future. I will take each day, each experience, and let it draw me to the next important step.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
When your man is better, the doctor might suggest a visit from you. Though you have talked with the family, leave them out of the first discussion. Under these conditions your prospect will see he is under not pressure. He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family. Call on him while he is still jittery. He may be more receptive when depressed.
p. 91
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
After the oil job blew up, I went back to Baltimore and Mother, my first wife having said a permanent goodbye. Then came a sales job with a national tire company. I reorganized their city sales policy and eighteen months later, when I was thirty, they offered me the branch managership. As part of this promotion, they sent me to their national convention in Atlantic City to tell the big wheels how I'd done it. At this time I was holding what drinking I did down to weekends, but I hadn't had a drink at all in a month. I checked into my hotel room and then noticed a placard tucked under the glass on the bureau stating "There will be positively NO drinking at this convention," signed by the president of the company. That did it! Who me? The Big Shot? The only salesman invited to talk at the convention? The man who was going to take over one of their biggest branches come Monday? I'd show 'em who was boss! No one in that company ever saw me again--ten days later I wired my resignation.
p. 224
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God. And this was true whether we had been believers or unbelievers. We began to get over the idea that the Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning.
p. 75
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"Letting go of the past and not worrying about the future seems a small price to pay for all the happiness to be found in the present."
The richest man, whatever his lot, is he who is content with what he has got. --Dutch Proverb
If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. --Booker T. Washington
God help me relax and let my answer about what to do next come naturally from you. --Melody Beattie
We are loved completely by a God who knows us completely. --Pedro A. Sandin-Fremaint
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
REALITY
"It is the chiefest point of
happiness that man is willing to
be what he is."
-- Desiderious Erasmus
I am an alcoholic. Today I am able to love myself because I am able
to accept myself.
More than this: because I am able to accept myself, I am able to be
myself. The acceptance of my disease around alcohol has taught me
that I am not perfect, and I do not live in a perfect world --- this leads
to an acceptance of others. My pain around alcohol has given me an
insight into the sufferings of others --- and this has produced spiritual
growth.
I am happy not because I am an alcoholic but because I know that I
am an alcoholic. Today I can be what I was meant to be, rather than
the "fake" that I was becoming.
In the spiritual journey is the happiness.
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"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
'Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28
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Daily Inspiration
Leave behind your faults and know that your past is forgiven. Lord, You have freed me to live today and allowed me to know that my future is secure in You.
Live a God-filled life and it will be only natural that you will express enthusiasm for life, joy, laughter and happiness. Lord, may the way I live always express my love for You.
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NA Just For Today
The Ties That Bind
"As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those that would tear us apart, all will be well."
Basic Text, p. 57
Many of us feel that without NA we would surely have died from our disease. Hence, its existence is our very lifeline. However, disunity is an occasional fact of life in Narcotics Anonymous; we must learn to respond in a constructive way to the destructive influences that sometimes arise in our fellowship. If we decide to be part of the solution instead of the problem, we are headed in the right direction.
Our personal recovery and the growth of NA is contingent upon maintaining an atmosphere of recovery in our meetings. Are we willing to help our group deal constructively with conflict? As group members, do we strive to work out difficulties openly, honestly, and fairly? Do we seek to promote the common welfare of all our members rather than our own agenda? And, as trusted servants, do we take into consideration the effect our actions might have on newcomers?
Service can bring out both the best and the worst in us. But it is often through service that we begin to get in touch with some of our more pressing defects of character Do we shrink from service commitments rather than face what we might find out about ourselves? If we bear in mind the strength of the ties that bind us together—our recovery from active addiction—all will be well.
Just for today: I will strive to be of service to our fellowship. I will be unafraid to discover who I am.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked, and jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. --James Barrie
If kisses can be made of acorn buttons, they can be made of any good thing. Think of kisses made of candy. Therefore, there must be a thousand and one ways to give a kiss. We can give one made of wild flowers picked in the ditch, the melody in a music box, the few true words in a note, or the picture we ourselves draw to give to the one we love. Think of how we can hide them here and there under pillows, in corners, in pockets where they're sure to be seen and felt. Think of how hearts kiss when we hug or hold hands, how sleeping beauties suddenly wake up.
Does it matter that we try new ways to show our same old love?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is a cheap generosity, which promises the future in compensation for the present. --J. A. Spender
Living in this moment is all we really have. We are constantly bombarded with advice to live for the future, but it perpetually exists beyond our grasp like the carrot tempting the donkey. We are told to be mindful of our career paths, to save for the future, and to sacrifice now for later rewards. We put off spending time with our children, but later they are no longer the same children. We postpone seeing friends now and discover later that we have lost our relationships.
Of course, we can't be foolish about our future. We need to make some plans and delay some immediate pleasures. But for now, we can only have a rapport with others and ourselves and experience life in this moment. The present is the only time when anything can happen, any change can occur. This moment is like a fresh, cool breeze. The rest exists only in our imaginations or memories.
May I feel the exhilaration of being alive in this moment and maintain a balance in my perspective today.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Trusting Ourselves
What a great gift we've been given - ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift.
What a disservice not to heed the leadings and leanings that so naturally arise from within. When will we learn that these leadings and leanings draw us into God's rich plan for us?
We will learn. We will learn by listening, trusting, and following through. What is it time to do?... What do I need to do to take care of myself?... What am I being led to do?... What do I know?
Listen, and we will know. Listen to the voice within.
Today, I will listen and trust. I will be helped to take action when that is needed. I can trust God and myself.
Fill your world with color and Beauty
Fill your life and your world with the colors, textures, scents, and objects that are beautiful to you, that have meaning to you.
Remember that we are connected to our environment.
The objects and the colors in our world have energy and meaning. They have an impact on us.
The more we see how connected we are, the more carefully and thoughtfully we may want o choose the items we place in our home, or our space at work, if we have a special area, because these objects and colors can reflect how we feel about ourselves and what is important to us.
Objects have energy. They have energy already in them when we obtain them, and they have the energy and meaning we attribute to them. Choose carefully the possessions you want around you, for they tell a story all day long.
Fill your world, your life, with objects that are beautiful and have special meaning to you. What articles and hues have you surrounded yourself with at home, at work? Is there a special article you want close to you, on your desk, in your locker, in your pocket?
What story do these things tell about you, about what you're going through, about your place in your journey? --Melody Beattie
Today my faith and confidence grow as I learn to accept all that I discover without judgment. I feel energy and life flow through me with this new freedom. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Don’t Let People Put Thoughts in Your Head
Respect the power of words and thoughts, both your own and others’.
Our ideas and inspirations sometimes come from other people, come from outside us. But if we’re not careful, it’s easy for others to put their ideas and intentions into our minds, to cast their spells on us. You aren’t very creative. Your heart isn’t open. You’re really not that healthy. You need me to succeed. You don’t deserve success. In fact, you don’t deserve… How easy it is to be unaware of the process, to walk around with other people’s words in your head, taking them as truth, taking them as our own, letting their ideas about us control our lives and our beliefs.
We don’t have to let others put their spells on us. We don’t have to believe what they say.
What are the words others have spoken to you, the spells they’ve cast on you and your life? What phrases are echoing in your mind, and who do they belong to? Listen to what you hear, and if they are not yours, get them out.
Words are powerful. Don’t let other people put them in your head. And choose carefully the words you speak to them.
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More Language Of Letting Go
You’re not alone
I felt a searing pain in my heart. It was physical– I swear it was– when that nurse asked me if I had someone I could call. Over the next few days at the hospital, I was surrounded by people, but at no previous time in my life had I ever felt this isolated and alone. I knew that the path I was about to walk, I had to walk alone.
Larer, another nurse walked over to me. She looked straight into my eyes. “It’s going to be difficult, harder than you can imagine,” she said. “And it’ll take about eight years. But you can do it. You’ll come through. I know. I lost a child,too. My daughter was nine when she died.”
There are places in our lives that we’re called to go alone. People can surround us, call us, and offer support. But the journey we’re about to take is solely and uniquely ours. People can watch us, reach out to us, and even say they know how it feels. But the world we’re entering is ours, and ours alone.
Slowly, as we walk this path that life has thrust on us, we begin to see the outline of a few faces– way out in the distance, waving to us, cheering us on. As we continue along the path, the faces and forms fill in. Before long, we see that we’re in the midst of a large, large group. Where did all these people come from? we wonder. I thought I was alone.
No matter what path you’re on, others have walked it before you, and some will follow you there. Each step you take is uniquely yours, but you are never, never alone.
While many experiences are isolated and uniquely ours, we’re simultaneously part of a collecive force. What we go through and what we do matters– sometimes much more than we know.
God, help me know how much you care. No matter what I’m going through, help me see the other faces along the way.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
We sometimes hear someone say, “He is standing in his own light,” A mental picture then clearly reveals that many of us tend to shadow our own happiness by mistaken thinking. Let us learn to stand aside so the light can shine on us and all we do. For only then can we see ourselves and our circumstances with true clarity With The Program and the Twelves Steps, we no longer need to stand in our own light and try alone to solve our problems in dearness. When I am faced with a seemingly insoluble problem, will I ask myself if I am standing in my own light?
Today I Pray
May I not get in my own way, obscure my own clarity of thought, stumble over my own feet, block my own doorway to recovery. If I find that I am standing in my own light, may I ask my Higher Power and my friends in the group to show me a new vantage point.
Today I Will Remember
If all I an see is my shadow, I’m in my own light.
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One More Day
Joy waits for no man.
–Tanhuma
Joyfulness is one of God’s greatest gifts. Joy transcends all time and place. Joy causes unmeasurable and often indescribable feelings which we might only have for a fleeting moment. Joy is like opening a special present. It is a state of mind, a frame of reference for future memories.
While we may quite easily recognize the joy of watching an exquisite sunset, we forget too often that it is natural that its beauty changes, dims, and then disappears within moments. And this is true of many of our joy-filled experiences — they change, they dim, and often they disappear. Joy does not always stay with us, so we need to make the most of it when it is upon us — in a sunset, child’s hug, or a friend’s offered hand.
To live life to the fullest, I am open to those special moments of joy, even if they don’t last forever.
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Food For Thought
Being Honest
During our compulsive overeating careers, many of us have been dishonest with others about what we were eating. Some of us have been closet eaters and some of us have stolen food. Most of us have eaten more when we were alone than when we were with other people.
We have almost surely been dishonest with ourselves, too. How many times have we promised ourselves to stick to a diet, only to find ourselves cheating a short time later? We tell ourselves that one small bite won't make any difference, when deep down we know that we intend to eat many more bites than one.
When we take inventory, and as our insights are sharpened, we may discover other areas besides eating where we have not been honest with ourselves.
The OA program gives us a chance to practice rigorous honesty, especially with ourselves. The light from our Higher Power will gradually clear away our confusion and darkness.
May I not be afraid to know the truth.
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One Day At A Time
ADMITTING MISTAKES
"A man should never be ashamed
to own he has been in the wrong,
which is but saying, in other words,
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."
Alexander Pope
Most of my life I had spent in blaming others for all the bad things that happened in my life, and I never learned to take responsibilty for my part in anything. I thought that life had treated me unfairly, but mostly it was because someone else had wronged me. I wallowed in self pity and justifiable anger, and not surprisingly, I found comfort in food so I could get through the pain of being treated so badly by others.
When I came into the program and began working the steps, I was horrified to learn that I was expected to do a searching and fearless inventory of my wrongdoings, for after all wasn't it others who had harmed me and not the other way around? Slowly I realised that I had a part to play in all the events in my life, and that only by clearing up the wreckage of my past and keeping my side of the street clean, did I have any hope of recovery. I had to swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong, and when I did that, miracles began to happen. Instead of feeling hard done by and bad about myself as I had thought I would, the exact opposite happened, and I started on a journey of growth and increasing self esteem that never ceases to surprise me. When I am able to admit that I'm wrong and apologise for my part in any conflict or misunderstanding, without expectation of anything back from the other person, I strengthen my recovery in this program.
One day at a time ...
I will admit my mistakes whether I believe that the fault is mine or not, because that is the way that I grow in my recovery.
Sharon
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. - Pg. 62 - How It Works
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Life is not fair. You see it in the headlines; you see it in people racked with chronic pain; you see it in senseless street violence and children starving in third world countries. It will be a challenge for you in the coming weeks to understand it is not an unfair thing that has just happened, addiction and then recovery, but the greatest fight you shall ever receive.
Creator, I do not know why good people suffer addiction. For if it is the very act of not understanding and still trusting in the good of the universe, that comprises the very essence of faith.
Silver Linings
I search for silver linings, for the deeper meaning of events in my life. I will look for the lesson. When life offers up its inevitable challenges, I will try to understand what I am meant to see that I am not seeing, what I am meant to hear that I am not hearing. There is always a silver lining if I look for it. Even if I don't see it readily, I trust that it is there and that it will reveal itself to me over time. Life isn't simple. One of the ways that I can have a better experience is to see what is positive, about a given situation, to look for the silver lining. I can grow in joy and in pain. It doesn't need to be one or the other because pain can transform into joy. It can be the fire that clears the the field for new and tender growth.
There is always a silver lining
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
As a general rule, questions that ask 'why' go in the wrong direction, seeking explanations that blame and shame. Questions that begin with 'How' and 'What' as in 'How do I start my Fourth?' and 'What can I learn from this?' lead to solutions, where the light bulb goes on in your head.
I ask questions that lead to exclamations not explanations.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Acceptance: Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today my faith and confidence grow as I learn to accept all that I discover without judgment. I feel energy and life flow through me with this new freedom.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Alcohol is a great remover. It removes stains, inhibitions, worries, jobs, families, freedom, choices, dignity, livers, - and lives. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-04-2024, 07:55 AM
February 14
Daily Reflections
EXPECTATIONS vs. DEMANDS
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that
he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition
is that he trust in God and clean house.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98
Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at
meetings. It isn't wrong to expect progress of myself,
good things from life, or decent treatment from others.
Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become
demands. I will fall short of what I wish to be and
situations will go in ways I do not like, because
people will let me down sometimes. The only question
is: "What am I going to about it?" Wallow in self-pity
or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or
will I trust in God's power to bring blessings on the
messes in which I find myself? Will I ask Him what I
should be learning; do I keep on doing the right things
I know how to do, no matter what; do I take the time to
share my faith and blessings with others?
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
After that first drink, we had a single track mind. It
was like a railroad train. The first drink started it
off and it kept going on the single track until it got
to the end of the line, drunkenness. We knew this would
happen when we sat down at a bar to have the first drink,
but still we couldn't keep away from liquor. Our will-power
was gone. We had become helpless and hopeless before the
power of alcohol. It's not the second drink or the tenth
drink that does the damage. It's the first drink. Will I ever
take that first drink again?
Meditation For The Day
I must keep a time apart with God every day. Gradually I
will be transformed mentally and spiritually. It is not the
praying so much as just being in God's presence. The
strengthening and curative powers of this I cannot
understand, but I can experience them. The poor, sick
world would be cured if every day each soul waited before
God for the inspiration to live aright. My greatest
spiritual growth occurs in this time apart with God.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may faithfully keep a quiet time apart with
God. I pray that I may grow spiritually each day.
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As Bill Sees It
Our Companions, p. 45
Today, the vast majority of us welcome any new light that can be
thrown on the alcoholic's mysterious and baffling malady. We
welcome new and valuable knowledge whether it is issues from a test
tube, from a psychiatrist's couch, or from revealing social studies. We
are glad of any kind of education that accurately informs the public
and changes its age-old attitude toward the drunk.
More and more we regard all who labor in the total field of alcoholism
as our companions on a march from darkness into light. We see that
we can accomplish together what we could never accomplish in
separation and in rivalry.
Grapevine, March 1958
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Walk In Dry Places
Releasing the Past_____ Living in the Present.
Some of us waste time brooding over past failures and lost opportunities. Since the past is beyond our reach, we can't change anything that happened. We do, however, have the power to change the way we view the present. We can begin by realizing that our past troubles really may have been valuable lessons.
We can also get a better perspective by releasing the idea that anything from the past controls our future. The real meaning of the saying "with God, all things are possible" is that our Higher Power can transform anything that happened in our past. AA has had its share of miraculous changes that came to people who seemingly had lost all hope. These changes have included miraculous restorations in health, finances, and relationships.
A new saying is that something or some person who bothered us in the past is history, as far as we're concerned. Let's put history where it belongs__ on the shelves and away from our daily thinking and activities.
I can be a new person today and every day. The past cannot control or limit me, but I do benefit from its lessons.
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Keep It Simple
Some things have to be believed to be seen. --Ralph Hodgson
In recovery, we learn to trust. We trust that our Higher Power is on our side. Maybe we can't see our Higher Power , but once we start trusting things change. Step Two says, "Came to believe. . . " Once we come to believe, we start to see our Higher Power working in many ways. We make new program friends. We find new peace. Our family and friends trust us again. Life won't always be fair. We won't get all we want. But we'll find the love and care we need. If we're open to believing in love, the easy times will be easier and the harder times a bit softer. Do I believe in love?
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me believe, especially when times are hard. Help me not blame You for the hard times.
Action for the Day: I will write what I believe the program and my Higher Power want for me.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Friendship of a kind that cannot easily be reversed tomorrow must have its roots in common interests and shared beliefs. --Barbara W. Tuchman
The gift of friendship has been extended to each of us sharing this program. Our interest is common: we want to stay abstinent. And we share the belief that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. We trust our commitment to one another here. We are learning to live the program's principles in all our affairs.
In years gone by, friendships were often missing from our lives. We had a friend, here and there, certainly, but could she really be trusted - with our secrets, with our spouse? An overriding fear and one not without reason. It's likely that we, too, failed to be good friends. Friendship, anytime, means risking vulnerability. It means making a decision to be trustworthy. And it means not backing away from either, anytime.
Friendships so enrich our lives; they complete us. The experiences shared among friends give us all an edge on living. It is no accident that we have been drawn here together. What we have will help another.
I must be willing to give away my intimate self to my sisters in trust. My strength as a woman recovering will increase as my ties of friendship increase.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
See your man alone, if possible. At first engage in general conversation. After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let him do so. You will thus get a better idea of how you ought to proceed. If he is not communicative, give him a sketch or your drinking career up to the time you quit. But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished. If he is in a serious mood dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being careful not to moralize or lecture. If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. Get him to tell some of his.
p. 91
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
As long as things were tough and the job a challenge, I could always manage to hold on pretty well, but as soon as I learned the combination, got the puzzle under control, and the boss to pat me on the back, I was gone again. Routine jobs bored me, but I would take on the toughest one I could find and work day and night until I had it under control; then it would become tedious, and I'd lose all interest in it. I could never be bothered with the follow-through and would invariably reward myself for my efforts with that "first" drink.
pp. 224-225
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting suffering. A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have. It marked the time when we could commence to see the full implication of Step Seven: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
p. 75
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If you keep falling in the same hole, go down a different road.
It is not easy to straighten in the oak the crook that grew in the sapling. --American Proverb
"Silence is one of the hardest things to refute." --Josh Billings
Little deeds of kindness, little words of love, help to make earth happy like the heaven above. --Julia A. Fletcher Carney
Faith is not only a belief and a feeling, it is an action. Action, really does speak louder than words. --Shelley
Let us dedicate ourselves to peace within ourselves, that wherever we go, we bring peace and we learn to find peace in all things. --John Morton
God treasures each of us as a rare and lovely flower. --Patricia Bellah
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
LOVE
"Let there be spaces in your
togetherness."
-- Kahlil Gibran
As an alcoholic I demanded love and was possessive of others. I had a
selfish love that treated people as "things" --- for my own
satisfaction and survival. I was claustrophobic in my affection and
smothered any creative love; my fear of being alone made me
blackmail people with my needs and emotions.
Today I can love people while still allowing them to breathe. An
important part of my program is detachment; I take responsibility for
me and I allow others to take responsibility for themselves. I give the
people I love space.
Sometimes I need to love a person enough to let them go. Spiritually I
am beginning to understand that in order to be free, I must give
freedom to others.
God, in the "spaces" of my love is the growth experienced.
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Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in the mighty heavens. Psalm 150:1
"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31
See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. 1 John 3:1
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Daily Inspiration
Don't ever grow too old for your birthdays or give up on your dreams. Lord, help me to know where You are leading me today and face this adventure with excitement.
Never let what you can't do get in the way of what you can do. Lord, help me to recognize my abilities and focus only on my strengths so that each day I will get nearer to my goals.
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NA Just For Today
Honesty And Spirituality
"The right to a God of your understanding is total and without any catches. Because we have this right, it is necessary to be honest about our belief if we are to grow spiritually"
Basic Text, p. 25
In meetings, over refreshments, in talks with our sponsor, we hear our NA friends talking about the way they understand their Higher Power. It would be easy to "go with the flow;" adopting someone else's beliefs. But just as no one else can recover for us, so no one else's spirituality can substitute for our own. We must honestly search for an understanding of God that truly works for us.
Many of us begin that search with prayer and meditation, and continue with our experiences in recovery. Have there been instances where we have been given power beyond our own to face life's challenges? When we have quietly sought direction in times of trouble, have we found it? What kind of Power do we believe has guided and strengthened us? What kind of Power do we seek? With the answers to these questions, we will understand our Higher Power well enough to feel safe and confident about asking it to care for our will and lives.
A borrowed understanding of God may do on a short haul. But in the long run, we must come to our own understanding of a Higher Power, for it is that Power which will carry us through our recovery.
Just for today: I seek a Power greater than myself that can help me grow spiritually. Today, I will examine my beliefs honestly and come to my own understanding of God.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Love cures people--both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. --Karl Menninger
Receiving a loving hug from a parent or perhaps a smile from a friend or even a stranger gives us a special feeling inside. We know we are important to others when they show us their love through attention. And we sometimes forget that we matter to others. Family members and friends feel good in the same way when we show them our love. Everyone needs to be loved.
How can we show our love? Must it be through a hug? Doing a favor for someone is loving. Helping around the house or the yard is loving, particularly when we've volunteered our help. Giving an unexpected gift to a friend is a way of showing love. Showing others we care, even when they are angry, is perhaps the nicest of all expressions of love.
What new way can I show someone I care today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The less able I am to believe in our epoch and the more arid and depraved mankind seems in my eyes, the less I look to revolution as the remedy and the more I believe in the magic of love. --Hermann Hesse
Men have been more likely to look outward than inward for solutions to problems. Yet this program is changing us from within. As we come to terms with ourselves, as we learn to be in relationships with friends and family, the same picture that looked so dismal in past years may look full of possibilities and even rich in the present. The love we feel toward others and the love we receive change our perceptions.
We need not expect all relationships to be alike. One friend may be wonderful as a recreational buddy, but perhaps we wouldn't talk about everything in our life with him. Another friend is comfortable and we can be ourselves with him, although he may not challenge us to grow or change. No friendship, no spouse, no one person can be enough in our life. But as a group they sustain and enrich us. We need the love and contact with them all.
I am thankful for love, which gives meaning and hope to life.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Valentine's Day
For children, Valentine's Day means candy hearts, silly cards, and excitement in the air.
How different Valentine's Day can be for us as adults. The Love Day can be a symbol that we have not yet gotten love to work for us as we would like.
Or it can be a symbol of something different, something better. We are in recovery now. We have begun the healing process. Our most painful relationships, we have learned, have assisted us on the journey to healing, even if they did little more than point out our own issues or show us what we don't want in our life.
We have started the journey of learning to love ourselves. We have started the process of opening our heart to love, real love that flows from us, to others, and back again. Do something loving for yourself. Do something loving and fun for your friends, for your children, or for anyone you choose.
It is the Love Day. Wherever we are in our healing process, we can have as much fun with it as we choose. Whatever our circumstances, we can be grateful that our heart is opening to love.
I will open myself to the love available to me from people, the Universe, and my Higher Power today. I will allow myself to give and receive the love I want today. I am grateful that my heart is healing, that I am learning to love.
I am beginning to actually feel the energy of love that I have inside. My entire being is in the process of being transformed with love. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Send Love Letters
Sending love letters to people we care about is a rewarding experience, both for us and for them. Making the time to take pen in hand and express our thoughts is valuable. But there’s another way to send love letters,too. This way takes as much time and attention as writing a loving note does, but it doesn’t require a pen and paper. It requires concentrated thought.
There’s an invisible thread of energy winding through the universe, one that connects us all. Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can tell if someone’s angry or upset with you, even if you haven’t talked to or seen this person? You can feel his or her anger, even if you haven’t been physically present to experience it. Thoughts have power, particularly those charged with intense emotional energy. When we think mean, bitter thoughts, it can be like sending hate mail along our connecting wires. It can almost be a sensory attack.
Why not send loving thoughts charged with positive emotional energy? We can consciously choose to use our connections to others to send love. Send positive thoughts. Blessings. Peace. Assistance in time of crisis. We can send our thoughts in the form of a prayer, or we can simply think a blessing or positive thought, charge it with energy, and send it along the wires with love.
When someone you know or love comes to mind, or even someone you don’t– perhaps someone in another part of the country or the world, perhaps someone going through a particular crisis– and you’re not certain what to do, send a love letter. Your loving thoughts will touch them and your blessings will all come back to you.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Say woohoo because there’s hope
The doorbell rang one day. I was slumping about in the big house I had just purchased in Minnesota. It was going to be the dream home for the children and me. The problem was, Shane had been killed the day after I closed the deal. Now Nichole and I were rambling around wondering what to do.
I answered the door. The FedEx man asked me to sign for a delivery. I did. And he handed me a large cardboard box. I brought it into the living room and put it down without opening it up. I didn’t get excited about much of anything back then. I was sad and angry. People, my readers, said they liked my writing because it gave them hope. The problem was, I didn’t have any of that hope for myself. I couldn’t see how life could or would ever make any kind of sense again. The one thing I wanted– my son alive and well, and my family intact– would not ever come to pass.
One day I got around to opening that big cardboard box. I took a knife, sliced it down the center, and looked at what was inside. It was filled with stuffed animals. A big green parrot with a fuzzy beak was sitting on top. There were monkeys, bears, and assorted things. They didn’t look brand new, but they were happy, cheerful little things. I took out the card and read the note inside. This is what it said.
“I make my living out of taking all the stuffed animals that people throw away. Then I take them home and clean them up. I guess I like doing it just to prove a point,” the woman wrote. “Sometimes, we start thinking something’s no good anymore, so we throw it in the trash. Sometimes we throw things away too quickly, but all they really need is a little tender, loving care to bring them back to life. I heard about your son’s death. I thought maybe getting a box of my reborn animals might help.”
Many years have passed since then. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of my possessions, especially when I moved from Minnesota to California in 1994. But one of the things I’ve held on to– in fact he’s still sitting in this room with me next to my desk– is that happy green parrot with the big fuzzy beak.
He’s a gentle reminder that even something as broken and scaggly as I was can be brought back to life again. Some things in life are true, whether we believe them or not.
Hope is one of those things.
Even if you have to say it in disbelief, say woohoo.
God, help me believe in me as much as you do. Thanks for getting me through those tough spots when I lose my faith.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
Today I will take the time to list the positive aspects of my new life and the blessings that accompany the miracle of my recovery. I will be grateful for the seemingly simple ability to eat normally, to fall asleep with a feeling of contentment, to awaken with a gladness to be alive. I will be grateful for the ability to face life on life’s terms — with peace of mind, self-respect, and full possession of all my faculties. On a daily basis, do I count my blessings? Do I seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand Him?
Today I Pray
On this day of love-giving,may I count all the good things in my life and give thanks for them. May I take no blessing for granted, including the beating of my own heart and the fresh feel of new air as I breathe.
Today I Will Remember
To count — and consider — my blessings.
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One More Day
We don’t love qualities, we love persons..
.–Jacques Maritain
No matter what happens to us in our lifetime, regardless of whether we are rich or poor,m strong or weak, ill or well, we always have room for love. Unqualified love and caring cost nothing. Despite our financial position, allowing ourselves to love, allowing ourselves to be loved strengthens and lends greater value to our lives.
In loving others and in being loved, we’re reminded that people, not events or even characteristics, are th important elements of our lives. We don’t look for perfection in our loved ones, and we’re freed of the notion that we must earn another’s love. Love balances our lives; it helps us keep sight of our values and priorities.
I will remember today that I love people for themselves, not for their potential. The love I receive is given just as freely.
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Food For Thought
Satisfaction
When we were overeating, we thought mainly about trying to satisfy ourselves. The more we ate, the more we wanted to eat. The more we ate, the less satisfied we were. We finally realized that satisfaction was not to be found by consuming more and more food.
When we stopped overeating, we suddenly had much more time and energy available for constructive activities. We began to contribute more to our families, our jobs, our recreation. We found new areas where we could be of service to others.
Because OA has given us so much, we in turn are able to share with our groups. As we give to others, we receive self-satisfaction as a by-product. This is a much more powerful satisfaction than we ever found in the refrigerator!
For each of us, serving and contributing to the best of our abilities means abstaining. Without abstinence, we can never be satisfied.
Thank You for opportunities to give and for the satisfaction of abstinence.
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One Day At A Time
OZ
"Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have."
Tin Man
Written by Dewey Bunnell, ©1974
These are simple words, and at first glance look like a song from the 'Wizard of Oz.’ However, to me they are complex and have deep meaning.
I have a body, a mind and a spirit; yet for the better part of my growing-up years I thought I had a flaw. I never felt complete and kept searching for whatever-it-was that would make me whole and fix me. I had no idea I was looking in the wrong places; but the real problem was I didn't know what I was looking for.
I never knew how to just 'be' without expecting some kind of negative feedback or teasing or criticism or uncertainty in return. Because I never felt good enough, I learned to 'not be' and to make myself invisible emotionally while eating, and in later years eating and purging.
Coming to OA was like surfacing for air after staying under water too long. People who didn’t know me understood and supported me. I slowly opened up and shared at meetings and did service and stopped hiding, and the void created with food and loneliness began to fill with hugs and support and recovery.
Today I have a Program with wonderful friends who reinforce I am OK as I am. God gave me and continues to give me what I need - physically (help with my food plan), emotionally and spiritually. The miracles in my life keep coming when I least expect them and only when I turn them over to God. Each new miracle and blessing nourishes me.
I began writing professionally again; writing is my passion, and my disease stole it from me. My spirit is happy, and I am grateful to my loving friend who had confidence and faith in me.
One day at a time ...
I am discovering my emerging identity was inside me all the time.
Janie
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience and entire psychic change there is little hope of his recovery. - Pg. XXIX - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Under stress men are more likely to do the 'fight or flight' thing and counter stress with anger or desertion. Women are more likely to adopt the 'tend and befriend' mode where they begin to nurture others and make alliances. You will be adopting a number of strategies in your growing recovery. Try to make as many of them proactive as you can. The more you respond ( with thought and deliberation ) then react ( instinctively ), the better you will weather the journey.
I seek solutions and guidelines for my behaviors and the coming decisions I must make. I do not 'react' but 'respond' to the situations in my life.
The Power is in the Now
I recognize that the present is alive and vibrant and creative. All of the creative power of this alive and radiant universe is in the present, in the here and now. If I align myself with the present, if I allow myself to fully experience this moment, I will find all I need in it. There is magic in this moment, there is beauty and vibrancy in it that resonates throughout my life. What I experience now, creates my future.
There is nothing like the present
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Sometimes you are the wind; sometimes you are the bug; sometimes you are the windshield.
Experience is what I get when I don't get what I want.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
When we use, addiction makes all our decisions.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I am beginning to actually feel the energy of love that I have inside. My entire being is in the process of being transformed with love.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Don't point the finger, reach out the hand. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-07-2024, 06:46 AM
February 15
Daily Reflections
TAKING ACTION
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are
being fulfilled among us--sometimes quickly, sometimes
slowly. They will always materialize if we work for
them.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
One of the most important things A.A. has given me, in
addition to freedom from booze, is the ability to take
"right action." It says the promises will ALWAYS
materialize if I WORK for them. Fantasizing about them,
debating them, preaching about them and faking them
just won't work. I'll remain a miserable, rationalizing
dry drunk. By taking action and working the Twelve Steps
in all my affairs, I'll have a life beyond my wildest
dreams.
************************************************** *********
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
If alcoholism were just a physical allergy, like asthma
or hay fever, it would be easy for us, by taking a skin
test with alcohol, to find out whether or not we're
alcoholics. But alcoholism is not just a physical allergy.
It's also a mental allergy or obsession. After we've
become alcoholics, we can still tolerate alcohol physically
for quite a while, although we suffer a little more after
each binge and each time it takes a little longer to get
over our hangovers. Do I realize that since I have become
an alcoholic, I cannot tolerate alcohol mentally at all?
Meditation For The Day
The world does not need super-men or women, but super-natural
people. People who will persistently turn the self out of their lives
and let Divine Power work through them. Let inspiration
take the place of aspiration. Seek to grow spiritually,
rather than to acquire fame and riches. Our chief ambition
should be to be used by God. The Divine Force is sufficient
for all the spiritual work in the world. God only needs the
instruments for His use. His instruments can remake
the world.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may be an instrument of the Divine Power.
I pray that I may do my share in remaking the world.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
True Ambition--and False, p. 46
We have had a much keener look at ourselves and those about us. We
have seen that we were prodded by unreasonable fears or anxieties
into making a life business of winning fame, money, and what we
thought was leadership. So false pride became the reverse side of that
ruinous coin marked "Fear." We simply had to be Number One
people to cover up our deep-lying inferiorities.
<< << << >> >> >>
True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the
profound desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of
God.
12 & 12
1. p. 123
2. pp. 124-125
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Walk In Dry Places
AA is an Automatic Sprinkler System
Emotional Emergencies
Wise managers install automatic sprinkler systems to protect their businesses. The system's great value is that it goers into action during the first few minutes of a fire, before it gets out of control. This gives the fire department precious time to arrive and put the fire out.
Our AA program gives us something like a sprinkler system. We never know when the flames of resentment might leap up, seemingly out of nowhere. If we've been working our program, something takes over automatically to begin dealing with resentment.
This gives us time to bring more of our valuable spiritual tools into use. Knowing that resentment is burning away, we can try one thing and then another until it is brought to rest. Perhaps we will try prayer. We might also discuss our problem with a close friend or sponsor. Maybe we'll attend a meeting and lay the mater out for the group attention. We may help somebody, even in a small way. An amazing healing of resentment can come from any helpful action. Even a simple action like helping a person in a stalled automobile can work wonders in deflecting the pain of ongoing resentment.
I need not fear the sudden appearance of resentment if I have been following my program.
************************************************** *********
Keep It Simple
Easy Does It.---Twelve Steps slogan
We are people who push ourselves to hard. We try to be perfect. Well, we need to lighten up. Easy Does It.
We need to slow down our pace. Why? Because our program teaches us to give up trying to be perfect.
We begin to love ourselves for who we are. We are enough. Over and over we hear this as we live the Steps. It's the message of God's love. Our Higher Power want us to live at a pace that's not fast and hard, so we always know we're loved. Remember, we've turned our life over to the care of God. And our life is a wonderful gift. As recovering people, we may know better than others.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to live at Your pace, not mine. Help me keep in mind that life isn't a race. It's a spiritual journey. Walk with me.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll take two hours just to relax and do loving things for myself. I'll take time to count my blessings.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Fortuitous circumstances constitute the moulds that shape the majority of human lives. --Augusta Evans
Being in the right place at the right time is how we generally explain our good fortune or the good fortune of a friend. But it's to our advantage to understand how we managed to be in the right place at just the right moment.
We have probably heard many times at meetings that God's timetable is not necessarily the same as our timetable. That events will happen as scheduled to fit a picture bigger than the picture encompassed by our egos. And frequently our patience wears thin because we aren't privy to God's timetable. But we can trust, today and always, that doors open on time. Opportunities are offered when we are ready for them. Nary a moment passes that doesn't invite us to both give and receive a special message--a particular lesson. We are always in God's care, and every circumstance of our lives is helping to mold the women we are meant to be.
I will take a long look at where I am today and be grateful for my place. It's right for me, now, and is preparing me for the adventure ahead.
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. Tell him how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick. Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism. If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once. He will match your mental inconsistencies with some of his own.
pp. 91-92
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
After the tire job came the thirties, the Depression, and the downhill road. In the eight years before A.A. found me, I had over forty jobs--selling and traveling--one thing after another, and the same old routine. I'd work like mad for three or four weeks without a single drink, save my money, pay a few bills, and then "reward" myself with alcohol. Then I'd be broke again, hiding out in cheap hotels all over the country, having one-night jail stands here and there, and always that horrible feeling "What's the use--nothing is worthwhile." Every time I blacked out, and that was every time I drank, there was always that gnawing fear, "What did I do this time?" Once I found out. Many alcoholics have learned they can bring their bottle to a cheap movie theater and drink, sleep, wake up, and drink again in the darkness. I had repaired to one of these one morning with my jug, and, when I left late in the afternoon, I picked up a newspaper on the way home. Imagine my surprise when I read in a page-one "box" that I had been taken from the theater unconscious around noon that day, removed by ambulance to a hospital and stomach-pumped, and then released. Evidently I had gone right back to the movie with a bottle, stayed there several hours, and started home with no recollection of what had happened.
p. 225
************************************************** *********
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
As we approach the actual taking of Step Seven, it might be well if we A.A.'s inquire once more just what our deeper objectives are. Each of us would like to live at peace with himself and with his fellows. We would like to be assured that the grace of God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We have seen that character defects based upon shortsighted or unworthy desires are the obstacles that block our path toward these objectives. We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon God.
p. 76
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We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.
Better the foot slip than the tongue. --French Proverb
"The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy." --Jim Rohn
"You must look into people, as well as at them." --Lord Chesterfield
God, help me recognize that I am a part of your creation and don't need to fight it. Help me live in peace and celebration of life. --Melody Beattie
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
HUMILITY
"I am a man; nothing human is
alien to me."
-- Terence
Humility is not so much about trying to be "good" as accepting that I
am imperfect. For too long I thought that humility was "keeping the
peace", appearing to be "perfect", bottling up my anger and
resentments --- living a life of "people-pleasing".
Today I understand that humility is being real. It is accepting my
humanity and being honest in my relationships. Humility is respecting
the lives of others but also respecting my own. Humility is seeking to
reveal that divinity that God has given to my life. Humility is knowing
that in the lives of my fellow man --- the good and the bad --- is me.
Master, let me have the humility to be real.
************************************************** *********
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6-5
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Daily Inspiration
Hide your troubles and disappointments and you will find that they grow much smaller from neglect. Lord, help me to direct my focus so that I can make a difference today with a smile and a kind word.
Prayer may not always change a situation, but it will always change us. Lord, I accept Your answers to my prayers because I know that they will always be right and, in Your wisdom, best for me.
************************************************** *********
NA Just For Today
An Awakening Of The Spirit
"The last thing we expected was an awakening of the spirit"
Basic Text, p. 48
Few of us came to our first Narcotics Anonymous meeting aching to take a personal inventory or believing that a spiritual void existed in our souls. We had no inkling that we were about to embark on a journey which would awaken our sleeping spirits.
Like a loud alarm clock, the First Step brings us to semiconsciousness—although at this point, we may not be sure whether we want to climb out of bed or maybe sleep for just five more minutes. The gentle hand shaking our shoulders as we apply the Second and Third Steps causes us to stand up, stretch, and yawn. We need to wipe the sleep from our eyes to write the Fourth Step and share our Fifth. But as we work the Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, and Ninth Steps, we begin noticing a spring in our step and the start of a smile on our lips. Our spirits sing in the shower as we take the Tenth and Eleventh Steps. And then we practice the Twelfth, leaving the house in search of others to awaken.
We don't have to spend the rest of our lives in a spiritual coma. We may not like to get up in the morning but, once out of bed, we're almost always glad we did.
Just for today: To awaken my sleepy spirit, I will use the Twelve Steps.
************************************************** *********
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It is always a mistake not to close one's eyes, whether to forgive or to look better into oneself. --Maurice Maeterlinck
It is easy to look outward and find faults with the world and people around us. We criticize family members or complain about our friends. We always notice disease in the trees around us.
But if we take time to be quiet, to sit alone in a tree or by a lake, we become more aware of how connected we are to the life around us. We are part of the beauty and the imperfection. When we notice our own tree is not perfect, it becomes easier to forgive the blights of those around us. It is also important to forgive ourselves our faults. Though all the trees are beautiful, they each have their scars. Being human means we are, like all humanity, both beautiful and imperfect.
Will I see through the flaws to anther's beauty today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If I truly showed my feelings, the other guys would eat me alive. It's too dog eat dog out there to be honest about the things that really count to you. You can't leave yourself wide open like that. --Michael E. McGill
As we deepen our commitment to strong and mature manhood, we see a conflict between this program and much of what we learned as young men. When we drop our defenses and are honest, we take the chance of getting hurt. Many of us learned long ago that when we became vulnerable, others became abusive. It is difficult to abandon everything we learned about being nobody's fool and staying safe.
In fact, we don't have to leave ourselves wide open. We can be selective about how open we will be and whom we will trust. But for our spiritual growth to continue, we must be an open book to ourselves, to our Higher Power, and to a few friends. We must face the fear of being open to others in this program. Developing true friends is part of the change, which the program brings.
I pray for the courage to be honest with myself and to stand up for who I truly am with my friends.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Fortuitous circumstances constitute the moulds that shape the majority of human lives. --Augusta Evans
Being in the right place at the right time is how we generally explain our good fortune or the good fortune of a friend. But it's to our advantage to understand how we managed to be in the right place at just the right moment.
We have probably heard many times at meetings that God's timetable is not necessarily the same as our timetable. That events will happen as scheduled to fit a picture bigger than the picture encompassed by our egos. And frequently our patience wears thin because we aren't privy to God's timetable. But we can trust, today and always, that doors open on time. Opportunities are offered when we are ready for them. Nary a moment passes that doesn't invite us to both give and receive a special message--a particular lesson. We are always in God's care, and every circumstance of our lives is helping to mold the women we are meant to be.
I will take a long look at where I am today and be grateful for my place. It's right for me, now, and is preparing me for the adventure ahead.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Control
Sometimes, the gray days scare us. Those are the days when the old feelings come rushing back. We may feel needy, scared, ashamed, and unable to care for ourselves.
When this happens, it's hard to trust ourselves, others, the goodness of life, and the good intentions of our Higher Power. Problems seem overwhelming. The past seems senseless; the future, bleak. We feel certain the things we want in life will never happen.
In those moments, we may become convinced that things and people outside of ourselves hold the key to our happiness. That's when we may try to control people and situations to mask our pain. When these "codependent crazies" strike, others often begin to react negatively to our controlling.
When we're in a frenzied state, searching for happiness outside ourselves and looking to others to provide our peace and stability, remember this: Even if we could control things and people, even if we got what we wanted, we would still be ourselves. Our emotional state would still be in turmoil.
People and things don't stop our pain or heal us. In recovery, we learn that this is our job, and we can do it by using our resources: our Higher Power, our support systems, our recovery program, and ourselves.
Often, after we've become peaceful, trusting, and accepting, what we want comes to us - with ease and naturalness.
The sun begins to shine again. Isn't it funny, and isn't it true, how all change really does begin with us?
I can let go of things and people and my need to control today. I can deal with my feelings. I can get peaceful. I can get calm. I can get back on track and find the true key to happiness - myself. I mil remember that a gray day is just that - one gray day.
Today I will "act as if" I am worth loving. I am beginning to tell myself that I am worthy of loving myself. I will acknowledge all the good and lovable things about me. I will "act as if" until I know that it is true. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Ask the Universe for Help
You have come so far. You have learned to ask for help from people when you need it. You have learned to ask God. God as you understand God, for help,too. Now you’re entering into a relationship with the universe, an active, vital, living relationship. Now you can learn to ask the universe for help as well.
Talk to the universe. Talk aloud if you can. Say: Show me, guide me, lead me, help me. This is what I want, this is what I need. Say: Show me which road to follow, where to go, and what to do. Yes, talk to people. Talk to God. They are part of the universe and world we live in. But talk aloud to the universe,too.
Then listen to your inner voice. hear what it says and trust what you hear. Answers come in many ways, from many sources, many places. But if the answer is right for you, your heart will know, and it will feel true.
Talk to the universe. Ask it for help. Then listen to your heart. Because that quiet voice, the one in your heart, is how the universe talks to you.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Let a friend be there for you
I was at a carnival somewhere, sitting on a bench, eating blue cotton candy and experiencing the noise and color and the big carousel. Garishly colored horses bounced up and down, round and round, lights flashed; people whirred past. The little girl was on the verge of tears as her mother brought her up to the gate. She stalled, trying desperately to convince her mom, that no, she really didn’t want to go on the merry-go-round after all. Mom was reassuring but firm, and finally a deal was reached. Daughter would go on the big ride if her Mom would go,too.
They gave the man their tickets and walked around, the little one in awe of the multihued beasts that surrounded her. Finally, she settled on a white one with a gold mane and tail, and directed her mom to sit on the blue one next to her. Mom smiled, a little embarrassed, but complied with her daughter’s request.
Then the music started. And suddenly, they were both five years old, shrieking and laughing as their horses bounded away. I laughed,too, watching from my bench. They raced around an imaginary track through valleys, over rivers, across plains. The music screamed, the lights flashed, and for a few minutes, they could fly.
They were still laughing when the ride ended. “Again Mommy. Let’s go again!” laughed the girl excitedly. So they turned and got back in line. In letting go of her fear, that little girl was able to feel the wonder and excitement of a new experience, and in helping her daughter to overcome fear, the mother was able to recapture some of that thrill, as well. In our everyday lives, there are times when we are frightened, times when we need a friend to give us courage, and times when we can be a friend giving courage to someone else. Be grateful for those who have helped you find strength. Be grateful for the times when you have helped your friends find courage of their own.
Both sides of the coin are winners, and sometimes, experience is sweetest when shared.
God, help me reach out my hand in friendship and strength to those I meet along the way. And when I’m scared, help me give up my pride and ask a friend to stand by my side.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
When I become angry, can I admit to it and state it as a fact without allowing it to build up and burst out in inappropriate ways? Pent-up anger, I’ve finally begun to learn, quickly shatters the peace of mind that’s so critical to my on-going recovery. When I become enraged and lose control, I unwittingly handover control to the person, place, or thing with which I am enraged. When I’m angry will I tr to remember that I am endangering myself? Will I “count to ten” by calling a friend in The Program and say the Serenity Prayer aloud?
Today I Pray
May I recognize angry feelings and let them out a little a time, stating my anger as a fat, instead of allowing it to fester into rage and explode uncontrollable.
Today I Will Remember
Anger is. Rage need not be.
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One More Day
Reality is a staircase going neither up nor down, we don’t move, today is today, always is today.
–Octavio Paz
Reality is a harsh word and can invade our everyday lives. When we are struggling to cope with the physical changes which occur with long-term medical problems, reality becomes our constant companion. No longer can we deny anxiety or discomfort.
Our self-imposed rules might be the framework of our lives, but we can build a new structure which accepts illness as part of the reality of our lives. This new structure can have much more depth and greater dimension than the original, for we are older and wiser. Part of the framework which gives our days meaning is our love for friends and family, and recognition of our spiritual capacity. These, too, become our new reality.
I no longer expect perfect health, but I can minimize my complaining and maximize my efforts to live a meaningful life.
************************************
Food For Thought
Beginnings
Each day is a new start. Each moment is a beginning.
We do not have to wait until Monday to get back on the program or clean a closet or tackle a difficult report. We do not have to wait until tomorrow morning, either. Now is the moment to stop eating, to make a phone call, to begin whatever project we have been putting off.
There is no way we can change what we did five minutes ago, nor can we predict what will happen half an hour from now. We can only deal with now.
By doing what needs to be done right now, we make the most of each present moment. As long as we are alive, we are always free to begin again. Instead of following an old, worn out habit, make a fresh start this moment on the rest of your life.
Give me grace, Lord, to begin again.
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One Day At A Time
SETTING EXAMPLES
"Don't worry that children never listen to you;
worry that they are always watching you.
Robert Fulgham
How many overweight people blame their size on genes? My whole family had weight problems. Everywhere I turn I see obese families. In my house we were taught that it is a sin to waste food. After all, there are starving people in the world. As if my cleaning my plate would really help a starving child. How many times was I rewarded with a sweet treat instead of a hug and a "Gee you did good - I'm really proud of you." A scraped knee always felt better if you put a candy on it. I could eat the treat after the pain was gone, so of course eating made you feel better fast. My parents didn't actually teach me that food would give me instant gratification in so many words, but I learned those lessons from observation. Food helped me get through some very difficult years. I never realized that there were tools that could help through them. Unfortunately, I only found OA after my children were grown up and had watched their coe mother make the same mistakes that her parents taught her. I am trying to set a better example now. I no longer have a pantry full of junk food and when I give my grandchildren treats, it's books, stickers, hairclips, toys, anything non-edible.
God, I realize that my parents unintentionally taught me bad eating habits and I forgive them. Please let my children forgive me for making the same mistakes. Help me to set a better example for the next generation. Please be with me when I buy groceries and let me bring only healthy food into my house. Help me to be satisfied with my abstinent meals so that I won't be tempted to binge and graze with little eyes upon me. I am so grateful for Your presence in my life, because I can't do this alone.
One day at a time . . .
Please remind me that there are tools I can use instead of slipping into my old eating habits and let me be an example of the miracles that come with abstinence.
Jeanette
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. - Pg. 16 - Bill's Story
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Family and fellowship, sponsors and counselors are our source of strength and good feelings today, not Jim Beam and Mary Jane.
May I try not to control the people who help long enough to listen to their words of guidance.
Appreciating Life
I have the gift of life. I am here. I am alive, with all of my senses and able to experience the magic of this incredible world. Whatever this day has in store for me, I am open to receive. I will act on my day and allow my day to act on me. I am open. I will take steps that I know will make my day feel good, productive and pleasurable, and then I will let the rest happen. Each day presents me with gifts and surprises, if I know how to unwrap the present, if I remember how to be astonished or pleased.
Life itself is the gift.
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Often the difference between a bad attitude and a good one is simply what you call it. You can be lonely or enjoy blessed solitude. You can be burdened or building strength. People can use you or you can be of use to others.
Whether it is AA for 'Altered Attitude,' NA for 'New Attitude,' or CDA for 'Change'D Attitude,' my attitude today is a direct reflection of my personal growth.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Misery is an option. But acceptance and gratitude did not come as standard equipment either.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I will 'act as if' I am worth loving. I am beginning to tell myself that I am worthy of loving myself. I will acknowledge all the good and lovable things about me. I will 'act as if' until I know that it is true.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I'd called AA and they sent this fella Kevin around. He came into my office, put his hand out and asked how I was. I said my standard 'Great'. And he kept hold of my hand pulled me up close, eye-balled me and said; 'Bull s...' - He was my sponsor from that day. - Dave B.
bluidkiti
02-07-2024, 06:47 AM
February 16
Daily Reflections
COMMITMENT
Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right
action is the key to good living.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125
There came a time in my program of recovery when the third stanza
of the Serenity Prayer -- "The wisdom to know the difference" --
became indelibly imprinted in my mind. From that time on, I had to
face the ever-present knowledge that my every action, word and
thought was within, or outside, the principles of the program. I could no
longer hide behind self-rationalization, nor behind the insanity of my
disease. The only course open to me, if I was to attain a joyous life
for myself (and subsequently for those I love), was one in which I
imposed on myself an effort of commitment, discipline, and
responsibility.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
One drink started a train of thought that became an obsession, and
from then on, we couldn't stop drinking. We developed a mental
compulsion to keep drinking until we got good and drunk. People
generally make two mistakes about alcoholism. One mistake is that
it can be cured by physical treatment only. The other mistake is that
it can be cured by willpower only. Most alcoholics have tried both of
these and have found that they don't work. But we members of A.A.
have found a way to arrest alcoholism. Have I got over my obsession
by following the A.A. program?
Meditation For The Day
I will try to be unruffled, no matter what happens. I will keep my
emotions in check, although others about me are letting theirs go. I
will keep calm in the face of disturbance, keep that deep, inner calm
through all the experiences of the day. In the rush of work and
worry, the deep, inner silence is necessary to keep me on an even
keel. I must learn to take the calm with me into the most hurried
days.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may be still and commune with God.
I pray that I may learn patience, humility, and peace.
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As Bill Sees It
Seeing Is Believing, p. 47
The Wright Brothers' almost childish faith that they could build a
machine which would fly was the mainspring of their accomplishment.
Without that, nothing could have happened.
We agnostics and atheists were sticking to the idea that
self-sufficiency would solve our problems. When others showed us
that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those
who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. We were seeing
another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who
rose above their problems.
Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 52-53
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Walk In Dry Places
Mental Arguments are bad Thinking____Serenity
Again and again we hear that bad thinking and drinking are linked together. Bad thinking is any line of thought that tends to be destructive. Mental arguments are in that class because they destroy peace of mind and self-control. We can avoid them by learning acceptance and maintaining serenity at all costs.
Sometimes we engage in mental arguments with those who seem to have defeated us or put us down. This only gives more life to the hurt we have been feeling: in effect, we cooperate in hurting ourselves repeatedly. Even the satisfaction of letting ourselves "win" the mental argument doesn't really settle the matter.
We can maintain our serenity in all situations by accepting people as they are. We are not responsible for changing their opinions. We must also accept and dismiss past mistakes and failures, no matter who was at fault. We owe it to ourselves not to destroy another moment's happiness with futile mental arguments that serve no good purpose in our lives.
Once we dismiss mental arguments, we can give our time and attention to things that really matter.
I will not waste a single second on any kid of mental argument. Anything another person said or did is forgiven and forgotten, and it has no power to hurt me a second time.
************************************************** *********
Keep It Simple
Friendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable.---John D. MacDonald
We need to remember that relationships are made up of people---people who are strong, but also fragile.
We don't break easily, but we do break. We need to be aware of how fragile relationships are. Don't say something that will hurt others even if it's honest. It's mean to be honest with someone, without showing that you care for the person's feelings. We can learn to be honest without being cruel. The backbone of any relationship is this: we need to honor the rules and agreements we make. If we promise to be faithful to someone, we follow this rule. And we need to trust the other person to do the same. When we see that our agreements don't work, we need to go to that person and talk about them.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me become a person who honors rules and agreements in my relationships.
Actions for the Day: I'll make no promises today that I will not keep.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Within our dreams and aspirations we find our opportunities. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Our dreams beckon us to new heights. All that we may need is the courage to move toward them, taking the necessary steps to realize those dreams. Trusting that we will be shown the steps, one at a time, patiently waiting for the right step and right time is all we need to do, today.
Our dreams, when they are for the good of ourselves and others, are invitations from God to spread our wings, to attempt new heights. Those dreams are part of the destiny designed for us. They are not happenstance. Our gifts are unique. Our contributions are ours alone. Our dreams reflect the contributions we are called on to make in this life.
Our opportunities for fulfillment are varied and not always recognized as for our good. Again and again we need to turn to God, be patient, and trust that we are being called to offer something very special to those around us. No one of us has escaped a special plan. And everyone of us is inspired in particular ways, with particular talents. Our recovery is clearing the way for us to burst forth with our talents.
I will be grateful for all that I am, for all that I have. And I will remember, what I give today to friends around me is mine only to give.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
If you are satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Show him, from your own experience, how the queer mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power. Don’t, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. If he sticks to the idea that he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can—if he is not too alcoholic. But insist that if he is severely afflicted, there may be little chance he can recover by himself.
p. 92
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Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
The mental state of the sick alcoholic is beyond description. I had no resentments against individuals- -the whole world was all wrong. My thoughts went round and round with, What's it all about anyhow? People have wars and kill each other; they struggle and cut each other's throats for success, and what does anyone get out of it? Haven't I been successful, haven't I accomplished extraordinary things in business? What do I get out of it? Everything's all wrong and the hell with it. For the last two years of my drinking, I prayed during every drunk that I wouldn't wake up again. Three months before I met Jackie, I had made my second feeble try at suicide.
pp. 225-226
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. "
The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone.
p. 76
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What you are is God's Gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.
Take time for solitude. How else can you contemplate the blessings of recovery. --Abby Warman
In my pain I seek the comfort and guidance of my Higher Power. Grace and gratitude are the gifts I receive. --Rose Casey
God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful. --Mother Teresa
Spiritual experience is personal and individual. --Veronica Ray
Like a loving parent, God prepares good things for us. --Einar Ingvi Magnusson
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
ENEMIES
"The Bible tells us to love our
neighbors and also to love our
enemies; probably because they
are generally the same people."
-- G. K. Chesterton
The spiritual program that I embrace makes me look to where I am,
rather than where I want to be. I must live in the now, rather than the
never-never-land of tomorrow.
To love my world I need to seek to understand those people who live
in my world. To love my world involves an acceptance of those who
are different from me. I must seek to build bridges, rather than
barriers. It is so easy for me to talk about loving and being concerned
for the starving millions and forgetting to love and relate to the typist
in my office or the neighbor down the street.
I have some experience of people who can be difficult because I lived
with the addicted me for many years; I am the key to my enemies.
Teach me to accept in love those who, for today, I do not like.
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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 1: 1-13
Show me Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day. Psalm 25:4-5
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Daily Inspiration
No troubles that we face are new to this world. Guide and protect me, Lord, and strengthen my faith and trust in You so that I will not falter.
God gives us power, love and self-discipline, not fear and timidness. Lord, I will not be afraid to proclaim that You are my God. All will see it in my actions.
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NA Just For Today
Faithful Feelings
"When we refuse to accept the reality of today we are denying faith in our Higher Power This can only bring more suffering."
IP No. 8, "Just for Today"
Some days just aren't the way we wish they would be. Our problems may be as simple as a broken shoelace or having to stand in line at the supermarket. Or we may experience something far more serious, such as the loss of a job, a home, or a loved one. Either way, we often end up looking for a way to avoid our feelings instead of simply acknowledging that those feelings are painful.
No one promises us that everything will go our way when we stop using. In fact, we can be sure that life will go on whether we're using or not. We will face good days and bad days, comfortable feelings and painful feelings. But we don't have to run from any of them any longer.
We can experience pain, grief, sadness, anger, frustration- all those feelings we once avoided with drugs. We find that we can get through those emotions clean. We won't die and the world won't come to an end just because we have uncomfortable feelings. We learn to trust that we can survive what each day brings.
Just for today: I will demonstrate my trust in God by experiencing this day just as it is.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Shame-filled people feel that something is wrong at their very core. It is a sense of being bad . . .. --Susan Kwiecien
Nobody is rotten to the core. Whenever we start to believe we are bad all the way through, we can picture good things we have done, days when someone else was happy to be with us, and see for ourselves that we have many good points that outweigh the bad.
If we have done something wrong, we must apologize and make amends. Making a mistake is not the same as being worthless. Mistakes are a natural part of living, not something to be ashamed of. Our freedom to make mistakes is one of our greatest assets, for this is the way we learn humility, persistence, courage to take risks, and better ways of doing things. All of us are valuable and lovable. How could we be otherwise? Since mistakes are natural aspects of growth, we can salute them in others and ourselves as signs of life and celebrate our ability to learn and to forgive.
What mistakes have helped me grow?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Hatred is never anything but fear - if you feared no one, you would hate no one. --Hugh Downs
On those occasions when we find the bigger man within, we are more generous in spirit toward others. But sometimes we think too much about what is wrong with others and how they ought to change. That is a form of hate. If we are searching for what we have power to change in our families, in our friendships, in the world, we can learn to be big enough to set aside our fears.
Do we bear ill will toward someone today? When we are honest with ourselves, do we feel a sense of fear in relation to this person? What are we really afraid of? Perhaps the same person fears us. When we can do something about our fear, the hatred melts with no further effort. Then we are in touch with the bigger man within.
I have the inner, strength to face my fears today. I will not send them outward as hatred.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Detachment
The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is what we're doing an appropriate part of taking care of ourselves? What is our responsibility, and what isn't?
These issues can challenge us whether we've been in recovery ten days or ten years. Sometimes, we may let go so much that we neglect responsibility to others or ourselves. Other times, we may cross the line from taking care of ourselves to controlling others and outcomes.
There is no rulebook. But we don't have to make ourselves crazy; we don't have to be so afraid. We don't have to do recovery perfectly. If it feels like we need to do a particular action, we can do it. If no action feels timely or inspired, don't act on it.
Having and setting healthy limits - healthy boundaries - isn't a tidy process. We can give ourselves permission to experiment, to make mistakes, to learn, to grow.
We can talk to people, ask questions, and question ourselves. If there's something we need to do or learn, it will become apparent. Lessons don't go away. If we're not taking
care of ourselves enough, well see that. If we are being too controlling, we'll grow to understand that too. Things will work out. The way will become dear.
Today, I will take actions that appear appropriate. I will let go of the rest. I will strive for the balance between self-responsibility, responsibility to others, and letting go.
Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
The Answer May Be Right in Front of You
It was late at night. I had just pulled into Chimayo, New Mexico. The streets were poorly lit, addresses and signs were difficult to see. I had been driving around for what seemed like hours, looking for an address. Finally, in desperation. I stopped the car, got out, and flagged someone down. A man stopped, but said he couldn’t help me. I was at my wits end. I turned around, staring frantically at the mailbox in front of me. To my surprise, I was right where I wanted to go.
How often we wave our hands in panic and despair, certain the answer, the insight, the piece of information we need will never come. Yet often the answer we’re seeking is right in front of us.
There’s a part of us, our heart, that knows where we’re going, knows what we need, knows what the next step is. Our heart will lead us on. Our soul will move us forward. Our instincts will take us home like a radar signal beaming us to safety.
Feel your panic. Feel your frustration. But keep your eyes and your heart open. The answer may be closer than you think– maybe it’s right in front of you.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Joy is your destiny
Adam fell that man might be, and men are that they might have joy.
–Book of Mormon
In the garden, original man was perfect, unchanging, never knowing sickness or the sorrow of separation. It was only after the fall that we could learn the contrast between joy and sorrow and truly learn what joy is. More than the absence of sorrow, it is the embrace of life in all its turmoil. To live joyously means living with full awareness of how impermanent each life on earth is– how precious each moment, each conversation, each sunrise is.
Each day is the beginning of another new adventure, another opportunity to take a chance and live life to its fullest.
Look around you. Find the joy in your world.
After all, that’s why you’re here.
God, help me find and create true joy and peace in my world.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
What about “justifiable anger?” If somebody cheats us or acts toward us in an outrageous manner, don’t we have the right to be furious? The hard-learned experiences of countless others in The Program tell us that adventures in rage are usually extremely dangerous. So, while we must recognize anger enough to say “I am angry,” we must not allow the build-up of rage, however justifiable. Can I accept the fact that if I am to live, I have to be free of anger?
Today I Pray
Even though I go out of the way to skirt them, may I be aware that there always will be certain situations or certain people who will make me angry. When my anger doesn’t seem justifiable — with arguable reason behind it — I may deny it, even to myself. May I recognize my anger, whether it is reasonable or not, before I bury it alive.
Today I Will Remember
It is alright to feel anger.
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One More Day
Every Soul is a melody which needs renewing.
– Stephne Mellarme
It may be difficult to admit how discordant our lives become at times — and even more difficult to restore a sense of peace. We may plunge into self-improvement programs with the idea that we, and we alone, can fix ourselves and ease our emotional pain. In doing this, we ignore the spiritual resources outside ourselves.
We better understand and accept our human flaws now and find it easier to ask God for help. Occasionally we may feel inadequate or angry or frightened. We question and doubt ourselves; we get lost in the maze of our own emotions. But we know these feelings are only temporary and that the calming spiritual tempo of our lives is briefly being drowned out by the emotions of the moment. It is comforting to know the melody is always there.
Today, I trust God to keep me in tune with the peace within.
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Food For Thought
Meetings
We have proved that we cannot control our eating alone. Through OA, we have found a way that works, provided we work the program. If we become careless about attending meetings, we are thrown back on our own weakness.
It is the OA meeting which gives us the hope and enthusiasm we need to continue in the program. The sharing and fellowship of the group provides strength and encouragement. In times of difficulty, most of us find that the more meetings we attend, the better able we are to cope.
When we don't feel like going to a meeting, it may be because our old overeating habit is trying to surface. We are never cured of our disease and we never outgrow our need for the strength, fellowship, and love we receive from OA meetings.
I give thanks for OA.
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One Day At A Time
A TEENAGER'S PRAYER
"I felt as if angels were pushing."
Adolf Galland - on his first flight in a jet aircraft
A letter from a TRG Teenager . . . . .
Sometimes I feel I really can't take anymore, I really can't do it. I feel so alone. I feel no one cares. I just want to hide away and eat and eat until I am so sick I can't eat anymore.
A minute at a time I got through my day, and it was so hard. Didn't anyone understand how hard it is to get through school with the teachers giving me a hard time. The other kids laughing at me in a corner, I know they are, I can feel them. They don't know what it's like to be me. And when I get home, I get even more of a hard time.
But sometimes I feel so bad and I come here on my computer and share or I go to an online meeting, and I know I'm not alone after all. Someone cares, they really do.
I feel heaps better and I suddenly realize that angels had pushed me through the day. And even though the day had been hard, I HAD got through it! I had a whole day of abstinence!
Suddenly I feel so much better about myself, about you and about the world in general.
One day at a time ...
I will remember tonight. An angel walked with me today, and if I close my eyes and sleep, maybe, just maybe an angel will walk with me in my dreams.
Anonymous
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. - Pg. 14-15 - Bill's Story
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
There is no one with a 'better' program than another if they are clean and sober for we know that we are only one drink away from a drunk--each and everyone of us!
May I realize that I am no better or worse than another, or them from me. We are equal in our recovery.
Looking Toward What is Good
I am a creative being. I have the power of reason, the ability to think, hope and dream. I can envision my life not only as it is, but as I might wish it to be. I can then think through the steps I might need to become more of who I wish to be. I have the power to think my way into a happy point of view, to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. My mind can be my greatest enemy or my greatest ally. It depends on how I choose to use it.
I hold a beautiful vision of life
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
'Rather than put a label on yourself as Christian, Jew, Moslem, Buddhist, or whatever, instead make a commitment to be Christ-like, God-like, Buddha-like and Mohammed-like.' -Dr. Wayne Dryer
I make a commitment to be 'Twelve Step-like' today.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Real change requires real change.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
An alcoholic is a fellow who is trying to get his religion out of a bottle, when what he really wants is unity within himself. Unity with God. - Bill W.
bluidkiti
02-07-2024, 06:52 AM
February 17
Daily Reflections
THE LOVE IN THEIR EYES
Some of us won't believe in God, others can't, and
still others who do not believe that God exists have
no faith whatever He will perform this miracle.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 25
It was the changes I saw in the new people who came
into the Fellowship that helped me lose my fear, and
change my negative attitude to a positive one. I could
see the love in their eyes and I was impressed by how
much their "One Day at a Time" sobriety meant to them.
They had looked squarely at Step Two and came to believe
that a power greater than themselves was restoring them
to sanity. That gave me faith in the Fellowship, and
hope that it could work for me too. I found that God
was a loving God, not that punishing God I feared before
coming to A.A. I also found that He had been with me
during all those times I had been in trouble before I
came to A.A. I know today that He was the one who led
me to A.A. and that I am a miracle.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Alcohol is poison to the alcoholic. Poison is not too
strong a word, because alcoholism leads eventually to the
death of the alcoholic. It may be a quick death or a slow
death. When we go by package stores and see various kinds
of liquor all dressed up in fancy packages to make it
look attractive, we should always make it a point to say
to ourselves, so that we'll never forget it: That stuff's
poison to me. And it is. Alcohol poisoned our lives for
a long time. Do I know that since I am an alcoholic all
liquor is poison to me?
Meditation For The Day
I must somehow find the means of coming nearer to God.
That is what really matters. I must somehow seek the true
bread of life, which is communion with Him. I must grasp
at the truth at the center of all worship. This central
truth is all that matters. All forms of worship have this
communion with God as their purpose and goal.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may meet God in quiet communion.
I pray that I may partake of the soul-food which God has
provided for me.
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As Bill Sees It
Live Serenely, p. 48
When a drunk has a terrific hangover because he drank heavily
yesterday, he cannot live well today. But there is another kind of
hangover which we all experience whether we are drinking or not. That
is the emotional hangover, the direct result of yesterday's and sometimes
today's excesses of negative emotion--anger, fear, jealousy, and the like.
If we would live serenely today and tomorrow, we certainly need to
eliminate these hangovers. This doesn't mean we need to wander
morbidly around in the past. It requires an admission and correction of
errors--now.
12 & 12, pp. 88-89
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Walk In Dry Places
Be Careful What you Pray for____Choosing the right goals.
"Be careful what you pray for," the Old-Timers said, for you are likely to get it. While this sounds exciting, it's really an important warning. Prayers are currents of thought directed toward a goal. The goal must be something few want to live with once it is achieved. What often happens, unfortunately, is that we seek things that turn out to be shallow and even harmful after we get them. Such disillusionment has been the stuff of countless morality tales.
Our bitter experiences with alcohol can also furnish lessons about the kinds of goals we should strive for in sobriety. Let's take an inventory if we find ourselves thinking that our happiness depends on certain people, places, or things. Our true happiness comes from our Higher Power and the right combination of love and service. With the right attitude, we can actually be happy under many kinds of conditions and with all sorts of people.
What, then, should we pray for? "Knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out," is a prayer that puts things in proper order. Seek to do God's will, and you might be utterly amazed at the results. After all, it is God's pleasure to give you good things.
I'll pray for knowledge of God's will today, while exercising prudence in all my affairs.
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Keep It Simple
. . . no one who learns to know himself remains just what he was before---Thomas Mann
Deep inside, we all know that we're changing. It started when we took Step One. We learned and accepted something new about ourselves. That changed us, just a little. We no longer wanted to live as addicts. That meant we had to change and to learn to live sober. It's been nonstop ever since: learn about ourselves, change a little, learn about ourselves, change a little more, and so on. All we know is that each step of learning and changing makes life better. How long can it keep getting better? As long as we keep learning to know ourselves.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me about myself today. Teach me gently.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll think about what I've learned about myself by working the program. I'll list five things.
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Each Day a New Beginning
One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay "in kind" somewhere else in life. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Life is a series of payments. The common expression, "What goes around, comes around," is a truth that governs each of our lives. As women and as members of the human family, we have received untold "payments" from others. On occasion, the payment may not have been one we'd have chosen for ourselves. It takes the distance of time to realize that our payments are meant for our good. And we can share the goodness; in fact, we need to share the goodness with one another. If we give to another the joy given to us, if we give to another the understanding given to us, if we give to another the friendship given to us, we will be ready to receive more in kind.
You and I meet today to make payments. I will receive yours gladly.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focussed mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic. If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. Even though your protégé may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that He does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.
When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don’t raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.
pp. 92-93
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
This was the background that made me willing to listen on January 8. After being dry for two weeks and sticking close to Jackie, all of a sudden I found I had become the sponsor of my sponsor, for he was suddenly taken drunk. I was startled to learn he had only been off the booze a month or so himself when he brought me the message! However, I made as SOS call to the New York Group, whom I hadn't met yet, and they suggested we both come there. This we did the next day, and what a trip! I really had a chance to see myself from a nondrinking point of view. We checked into the home of Hank, the man who had fired me eleven years before in Mississippi, and there I met Bill, our founder. Bill had then been dry three years and Hank, two. At the time, I thought them just a swell pair of screwballs, for they were not going to save all the drunks in the world but also all the so-called normal people! All they talked of that first weekend was God and how they were going to straighten out Jackie's and my life. In those days we really took each other's inventories firmly and often. Despite all this, I did like these new friends because, again, they were like me. They had also been periodic big shots who had goofed out repeatedly at the wrong time, and they also knew how to split one paper match into three separate matches. (This is very useful knowledge in places where matches are prohibited.) They, too, had taken a train to one town and had wakened hundred of miles in the opposite direction, never knowing how they got there. The same old routines seemed to be common to us all. During that first weekend, I decided to stay in New York and take all they gave out with, except the "God stuff." I knew they had to straighten out their thinking and habits, but I was all right; I just drank too much. Just give me a good front and a couple of bucks, and I'd be right back in the big time. I'd been dry three weeks, had the wrinkles out, and had sobered up my sponsor all by myself!
pp. 226-227
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.
p. 76
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If you want to feel rich, just count the things money can't buy. --Cited in BITS & PIECES
The alcoholic is in no greater peril than when he takes sobriety for granted.
There is no place where God is not. --Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., Fire In The Soul
A positive attitude can overcome most daily troubles. So wake up and set your mind to it, first thing every day.
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. --e. e. cummings
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. --Lao Tzu
Whom do I need to forgive? --Suzannah Willingham
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
BELONGING
"But one day when I was sitting
quiet and feeling like a
motherless child, which I was, it
came to me that feeling of being
part of everything, not separate
at all. I knew that if I cut a tree,
my arm would bleed."
-- Alice Walker
Today I am aware of the truth that I belong. I am an essential part of
God's world. I share divinity because God made me. Today I choose
to seek that spiritual center in me that is forever positive and
creative. Today I am the center of my universe.
Past hurts and wrongs cannot take away the uniqueness in my life.
Past abuses and painful put-downs, my years of alternating between
the lost child and the scapegoat in my family need not make me a
victim today. Today I am free to choose recovery and an acceptance
of self. Today I choose to associate with the winners of this world.
Today I participate in creation by being a creative person for me.
Yesterday's pain need not have any power in my life today.
When I kneel before the stream, mountains and stars, I feel me.
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Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. James 1:12
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Daily Inspiration
There is a purpose for our trials and burdens just as there is a purpose for the joys and wonders in our lives. Lord, grant me Your peace as Your plan for me unfolds.
Thoughts are powerful, so pay close attention to what you think about. Lord, help me to think thoughts of love, peace and abundance so that this becomes my experience.
************************************************** *********
NA Just For Today
Carrying The Message, Not The Addict
"They can be analyzed, counseled, reasoned with, prayed over, threatened, beaten, or locked up, but they will not stop
until they want to stop."
Basic Text, p. 62
Perhaps one of the most difficult truths we must face in our recovery is that we are as powerless over another's
addiction as we are over our own. We may think that because we've had a spiritual awakening in our own lives we
should be able to persuade another addict to find recovery. But there are limits to what we can do to help another
addict.
We cannot force them to stop using. We cannot give them the results of the steps or grow for them. We cannot take
away their loneliness or their pain. There is nothing we can say to convince a scared addict to surrender the familiar
misery of addiction for the frightening uncertainty of recovery. We cannot jump inside other peoples' skins, shift their
goals, or decide for them what is best for them.
However, if we refuse to try to exert this power over another's addiction, we may help them. They may grow if we
allow them to face reality, painful though it may be. They may become more productive, by their own definition, as long
as we don't try and do it for them. They can become the authority on their own lives, provided we are only authorities
on our own. If we can accept all this, we can become what we were meant to be - carriers of the message, not the
addict.
Just for today: I will accept that I am powerless not only over my own addiction but also over everyone else's. I will
carry the message, not the addict.
************************************************** *********
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There is glory In a great mistake. --Nathalia Crane
Once there was a big girl who liked to play with little kids and their toys. One day she rode one of their small bikes and
her foot slipped off the little pedal and her leg got caught and dragged along the sidewalk.
She went home, limping and howling. Her mother put ice on the terrible scrape. The next day, the girl's mother told her
she was too big for the little kids' toys. The girl looked up defiantly and said, "I can TOO ride that baby bike."
The girl's mother didn't say anything else. She knew people must be free to make mistakes. We cannot protect
another person from the experiences of the world. It would be harmful to both of us to try.
What mistakes have I made more than once before I learned my lesson?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate
them, more "manhood" to abide by thought out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit,
not in muscles and an immature mind. --Alex Karras
In our culture, being a man often means being tough, having sexual prowess, and not showing feelings. We realize in
this life of recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards,
and in newspapers.
When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. So we need to hear from each other that this is
not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men
know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the
pain of life.
Today, I am grateful to know and share my feelings and to have genuine relationships with those I love.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Acceptance
Our basic recovery concept that never loses its power to work miracles is the concept called acceptance.
We do not achieve acceptance in a moment. We often have to work through a mirage of feelings - sometimes anger,
outrage, shame, self-pity, or sadness. But if acceptance is our goal, we will achieve it.
What is more freeing than to laugh at our weaknesses and to be grateful for our strengths? To know the entire
package called "us" - with all our feelings, thoughts, tendencies, and history - is worthy of acceptance and brings
healing feelings.
To accept our circumstances is another miraculous cure. For anything to change or anyone to change, we must first
accept others, the circumstance, and ourselves exactly as they are. Then, we need to take it one step further. We
need to become grateful for our circumstances or ourselves. We add a touch of faith by saying, "I know this is exactly
the way it's supposed to be for the moment."
No matter how complicated we get, the basics never lose their power to restore us to sanity.
Today, God, help me practice the concept of acceptance in my life. Help me accept others, my circumstances, and
myself. Take me one step further, and help me feel grateful.
Even in moments of doubt I know that my Higher Power is guiding me on my path today. --Ruth Fishel
****************************************
Journey to the Heart
Who Empowers You?
Most of us need people around us who empower and help us feel able, on track, in balance, hopeful. We need people
who tell us we can. Even if they don’t use words, they believe in us and that belief comes shining through. We look at
them and what we see reflected back is our own power.
But sometimes we run into those who, instead, try to convince us of their power, convince us that they have our
answers, that we need them to be able to see clearly, that without them, we won’t be able to find the way. They don’t
believe in us, they only believe in themselves. That’s not empowerment. That’s an approach destined to create
dependency, often unhealthy dependency.
Cultivate relationships with people who make you feel like you can, who help you know that you’re on track, right where
you need to be. Spend time with people who help you know that you can trust yourself.
Seek out people who empower you. Learn to empower those you love. And during those times when no one’s around,
know that you can empower yourself.
****************************************
More Language Of Letting Go
Lighten up
“Mom, can I sleep over at Johnny’s house again tonight? Please?” Shane begged.
“Why?” I asked.
“For fun,” he said.
“You just slept over last night,” I said.
“Who said you can’t have fun two days in a row?” he asked.
While ideas such as discipline and focus are undeniably important, so is the idea of having fun.
With a small amount of effort, we can extract all the fun and joy out of most parts of our lives– our relationships, our
work, even our leisure time. We can put so many restrictions and should’s on everything we do that our very lives
become dull, overly ponderous and routine. Before long, we find ourselves living up to a set of rules– and we’re not
certain where the rules came from or whose they are.
I relented, and let Shane have the sleepover he asked for. He had fun. He had a lot of fun that entire year. So did I.
Let yourself go. Have a little fun with life. Or, have a lot of fun with life. If you’ve spent years being extremely disciplined,
reliable, and somber, maybe part of achieving balance is having a decade of fun.
Dig out your goal list, the one you placed at the back of this book. Add another value to your list, have as much fun and
joy as possible in the days, months, and years to come.
It’s time to lighten up.
God, please show me how to put ideas like fun and joy back into my life. Show me how to have more fun in work, in
love, and in play.
****************************************
A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
If I become angry today, I’ll pause and think before I say anything, remembering that my anger can turn back upon me
and worsen my difficulties,. I’ll try to remember, too, that well-timed silence can give me command of a stressful
situation as angry reproaches never can. In such moments of stress, I’ll remember that my power over others ins
nonexistent, and that only God is all-powerful. Have I learned that I alone can destroy my own peace of mind?
Today I Pray
May I learn that I can choose how to handle my anger — in silence or a tantrum, a rage, a fist fight , a pillow fight, a
tirade, and elaborate plan to “get back at” whoever caused it, an icy glare, a cool pronouncement of hate — or a
simple statement of fact, “I am angry at you because ______” (in 25 words or less). Or may I , if need be, turn my
anger into energy and shovel the walk, bowl or play a game of tennis, or clean the house. I pray that God will show me
appropriate ways to deal with my anger.
Today I Will Remember
“I am angry because..”
****************************************
One More Day
Grace is the absence of everything that indicates pain or difficulty, hesitation or incongruity. – William Hazlitt
It seems that, when we think of our lives are back on course, another obstacle appears and we stumble. In the case of
physical illness, symptoms or pain may worsen or new problems may crop up. Other circumstances can make our
stress level rise as well, until it feels as though we just can’t carry the burden anymore.
Adjustments can be very difficult. With new symptoms we may feel that illness is chipping away, one tiny piece at a
time, at our independence. It’s difficult to be gracious with so many complications going on. Yet this is the time to be
gracious — to ourselves and to those around us.
If I have ever needed to reach into my innermost being to find peace and contentment, it is now. I dislike what has
happened to my body, but I can continue to be a gracious person.
************************************
Food For Thought
Forgiving Ourselves
We would like to be perfect, and when we make mistakes, it is hard to forgive ourselves. If we eat something not on our food plan, the resulting anger at our weakness may escalate a small slip into a full-scale binge. When we are under pressure and act foolishly or say something unkind to someone close to us, we may punish ourselves by eating or by sinking into a black mood.
In order to get back on a positive track, we need to forgive ourselves and put the mistake behind us. It does no good to dwell on our weakness and rehash what we should have done and say "if only."
In OA, we become humble enough to admit that we will never be perfect. We strive for progress. Forgiving ourselves is necessary so that we may make a positive change.
As You forgive, may I forgive.
*****************************************
One Day At A Time
~ CHANGES ~
They always say time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself.
Andy Warhol
Time changes things – but what things? Can I wait for time to change those ways of coping that don’t serve me
anymore? Can I wait for time to make me abstinent?
Yes, time will change things, but chances are that these will be the changes: my coping mechanisms will become
even more entrenched and my eating even more destructive. I don’t really want to wait for that kind of change. When I
joined OA, I started a new trend. I asked for the wisdom to understand which things I can change and then, armed with
the tools of the program, I set about following my new trend of eating healthy and living a life where I don’t sit around
waiting.
I will not wait idly for things to get better. I will ask my Higher Power to guide me to make necessary changes.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will not wait idly for things to get better. I will ask my Higher Power to guide me to make necessary changes.
~ Isabella M. ~
*****************************************
AA 'Big Book' - Quote
That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking
about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no
attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatsoever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay,
no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured -- these are the conditions we have found most
effective. After such an approach many take up their beds and walk again. - Pg. 18-19 - There Is A Solution
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Our 12 steps are dedicated primarily to the cultivation of principle in the befuddled addict's mind. Spiritual soundness
leads to mental soundness. Even though we don't understand the process of our program to stop our cravings, we
must trust that IT WORKS.
I look at those around me, at their success and know that this process WORKS even if it isn't clear how.
Seeing Perfection in What Is
I see life as it is today. I do not ask that the world conform to my idea of perfection in order to love it. I see beauty and
perfection in things as they are, not as I wish them to be. I forgive life for being imperfect. I forgive people for being
imperfect. I forgive myself for being imperfect.I let life, people and me be what we are.
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Recovery is a Process Not an Event. There will never be a graduation day for your new way of life. The more you learn
and grow the more you will see that you have more to learn and grow. That is what Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve are
all about.
I learn to grow and grow to learn. My day of graduation is when I die.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
For our suggestions you have two choices: Take it or leave it.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Even in moments of doubt I know that my Higher Power is guiding me on my path today.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
The road to recovery is always under construction. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-11-2024, 07:54 AM
February 18
Daily Reflections
OUR PATHS ARE OUR OWN
... there was nothing left for us but to pick up the
simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25
My first attempt at the Steps was one of obligation
and necessity, which resulted in a deep feeling of
discouragement in the face of all those adverbs:
courageously; completely; humbly; directly; and only.
I considered Bill W. fortunate to have gone through
such a major, even sensational, spiritual experience.
I had to discover, as time went on, that my path was
my own. After a few twenty-four hours in the A.A.
Fellowship, thanks especially to the sharing of
members in meetings, I understood that everyone
gradually finds his or her own pace in moving through
the Steps. Through progressive means, I try to live
according to these suggested principles. As a result
of these Steps, I can say today that my attitude
towards life, people, and towards anything having to
do with God, has been transformed and improved.
************************************************** *********
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
After I became an alcoholic, alcohol poisoned my love
for my family and friends, it poisoned my ambition,
it poisoned my self-respect. It poisoned my whole life,
until I met A.A. My life is happier now than it has been
for a long time. I don't want to commit suicide. So with
the help of God and A.A., I'm not going to take any
more of that alcoholic poison into my system. And I'm
going to keep training my mind never even to think of
liquor again in any way except as a poison. Do I believe
that liquor will poison my life if I ever touch it again?
Meditation For The Day
I will link up my frail nature with the limitless Divine
Power. I will link my life with the Divine Force for Good
in the world. It is not the passionate appeal that gains
the Divine attention as much as the quiet placing of the
difficulty and worry in the Divine Hands. So I will trust
God like a child who places its tangled skein of wool in
the hands of a loving mother to unravel. We please God
more by our unquestioning confidence than by imploring
Him for help.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may put all my difficulties in God's hands
and leave them there. I pray that I may fully trust God
to take care of them.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
Out Of Defect. . . Strength, p. 49
If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of
any kind, nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to
alcohol.
<< << << >> >> >>
Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of
complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition
for finding a new one.
1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 33
2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 46
************************************************** *********
Walk In Dry Places
Shining shoes for Subordinates
Growing in Humility
Did you ever hear of a man named Samuel Logan Brengle? He was a Salvation Army office whose spiritual consciousness was legendary. But he didn't start that way. A gifted ministerial student of the nineteenth century, he joined the Salvation Army only to find himself sent to a cellar to clean the shoes of other cadets___ most of them far below him in learning and intelligence.
Brengle used that humbling experience to conquer his pride and resentment. He later recalled the utter joy he felt as he cleaned the shoes and prayed for each person. Later on, Brengle became an inspiration to thousands.
It's not likely any of us will have to clean shoes for subordinates today. What's more likely is that we'll encounter situations that would our pride or churn up resentment. We can turn any such experience into an opportunity for growth by praying to see God's hand in the matter and refusing to fight about it. The peace and serenity we feel is our reward, and, like Brengle, we'll become better people who can be of real service to others.
Somebody may come to me today with something that makes my blood boil. I won't be a doormat, but I will remember that I always have the choice of making anything a positive experience.
************************************************** *********
Keep It Simple
Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. Spanish proverb
Gossip can kill the trust in a Twelve Step program. We all need to feel safe when we share our personal lives with others. We need to know our private business won't spread around.
We can do two things to help keep the trust in our groups, and in the rest of our lives too. First, don't gossip. Second, don't listen to gossip about others.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me mind my own business today. Help me honor the trust of my friends by not gossiping.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll think of two ways to stop someone from telling me gossip. Then, I'll put those ways to use.
************************************************** *********
Each Day a New Beginning
To keep your character intact you cannot stoop to filthy acts. It makes it easier to stoop the next time. --Katharine Hepburn
Behaving the way we believe God wants us to behave sounds so easy on the surface. We don't willingly hurt others, do we? Or do we? . . . When did we last secretly burn with jealousy over another's good fortune or good looks? Has there been a time, recently, when we sulked for lack of attention . . . or perhaps picked a fight?
We can simplify life from this moment forth. There is only one path to walk, one decision to make, in every instance, and all our burdens will be lifted, all our anxiety released. We can decide to act in good faith. We can be silent a moment with ourselves and let our inner guide direct our behavior, our words, our thoughts.
Each of us knows, when we dare to let our spiritual nature reign, the right act in every case. Letting God choose our acts will ease our lives. No more obsessive confusion. No more regrets. No more immobility due to fear of wrong moves.
Freedom is guaranteed when I depend on God to direct my behavior. Life's burdens are lifted. I will go forth today, doing God's will, and my Spirit will be light.
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. But he well be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do, but call to his attention the fact that however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink, Perhaps your story will help him see where he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well. We represent no particular faith or denomination. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations.
pp. 93-94
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
Bill and Hank had just taken over a small automobile polish company, and they offered me a job--ten dollars a week and keep at Hank's house. We were all set to put DuPont out of business.
p. 227
************************************************** *********
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
Steps Eight and Nine are concerned with personal relations. First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.
p. 77
************************************************** *********
"The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." --Anonymous
When we practice loving kindness towards others, we run out of willingness and generosity quickly if we think it all has to come from us. When we understand that love comes through us, there is an endless Source. --Mary Manin Morrissey
"Don't worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you." --Robert Fulghum, 20th-century American author
When we walk in God's light, we are transformed. --Eleanor Park Kammer
As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
************************************************** *********
Father Leo's Daily Meditation
LAW
"The life of the law has not been
logic; it has been experience."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Today I respect the law. In this way I respect the society in which I
live. I am not "an island unto myself". I live in a community and have
a responsibility to myself and that community --- such is sobriety.
For years I did what I wanted and tried not to be "found out". I was
manipulative, dishonest and unhappy; to stay sick is depressing and
exhausting.
Then I decided to remove the pain. I accepted the disease and began
to "change" my life. I discovered the "spiritual law" of freedom with
responsibility. Law is the collective experience of the many who
choose to live a certain way, and today I choose to live amongst them.
My understanding of spirituality involves respecting the laws that
give me the dignity of citizenship.
O Lord, help me to see that in the laws of civilization is the gift of
freedom.
************************************************** *********
"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will tell of all thy wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in thee, I will sing praise to thy name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2
"O God, you are my God, I seek you, my soul thirsts for you." Psalm 63:1
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10
************************************************** *********
Daily Inspiration
Never be too busy to pray. Lord, without Your presence in my life, today would be barren.
We don't choose how or when we will die, but we do decide how we will live. Lord, forgive my frequent drifting and help me to see clearly the best path for me.
************************************************** *********
NA Just For Today
The Recovery Partnership
"As long as I take it easy and make a commitment with my Higher Power to do the best I can, I know I will be taken
care of today"
Basic Text, p. 120
Many of us feel that our fundamental commitment in recovery is to our Higher Power. Knowing that we lack the power
to stay clean and find recovery on our own, we enter into a partnership with a Power greater than we are. We make a
commitment to live in the care of our Higher Power and, in return, our Higher Power guides us.
This partnership is vital to staying clean. Making it through the early days of recovery often feels like the hardest thing
we've ever done. But the strength of our commitment to recovery and the power of God's care is sufficient to carry us
through, just for today.
Our part in this partnership is to do the very best we can each day, showing up for life and doing what's put in front of
us, applying the principles of recovery to the best of our ability. We promise to do the best we can&151not to fake it,
not to pretend to be superhuman, but simply to do the footwork of recovery. In fulfilling our part of the recovery
partnership, we experience the care our Higher Power has provided us.
Just for today: I will honor my commitment to a partnership with my Higher Power.
************************************************** *********
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
United souls are not satisfied with embraces, but desire to be truly each other. --Sir Thomas Browne
If hugs could melt, if kisses were made of nothing but pure air, if talkers always agreed, and if hearts all beat to the
same drum, would we desire any longer to be truly each other? No two leaves on a tree turn the same way in the
wind; no two fish in a school tread the same water; and no two people can live the same life. Therefore, when we hug
let's leave some space; when we kiss let's allow each other to breathe; when we talk let's permit each other to
disagree; when we love let's honor each other's rhythm and way.
Is it our similarities or differences that make us want to know each other better?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Love can be its own reward. --Arnold Label
The feeling of attachment, of being related, of caring about someone, is what life is all about. Before recovery, we may
have feared we could not love anyone. When we feel love, we may also feel cheated because our affections aren't
returned, as we want them to be. Or we may think relationships are just too complicated and painful. It's true that
relationships are difficult at times. The only thing more difficult is having none.
In this quiet moment, let's reflect on our relationships. Close attachments to both men and women are essential to our
progress. Without them, we would not be in recovery. We don't need to say to our friends, "What have you done for
me?" We can feel an inner fullness and satisfaction, knowing we have relationships we truly care about and we are
accepted as we are. That alone is a remarkable reward.
I appreciate the joys my relationships bring.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Being Right
Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are.
That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right wrong" justice
scale. The person who was right was okay; the person who was wrong was shamed. All value and worth may have
depended on being right; to be wrong meant annihilation of self and self-esteem.
In recovery, we are learning how to strive for love in our relationships, not superiority. Yes, we may need to make
decisions about people's behavior from time to time. If someone is hurting us, we need to stand up for ourselves. We
have a responsibility to set boundaries and take care of ourselves. But we do not need to justify taking care of
ourselves by condemning someone else. We can avoid the trap of focusing on others instead of ourselves.
In recovery, we are learning that what we do needs to be right only for us. What others do is their business and needs
to be right only for them. It's tempting to rest in the superiority of being right and in analyzing other people's motives
and actions, but it's more rewarding to look deeper.
Today, I will remember that I don't have to hide behind being right. I don't have to justify what I want and need with
saying something is "right" or "wrong." I can let myself be who I am.
Today I am establishing rapport with myself. --Ruth Fishel
******************************************
Journey to the Heart
Your Body,Mind, and Soul Are One
The body, mind, spirit, and emotions are more than just connected. They are one. To nurture the body is to nurture the
mind, spirit, and emotions.To nurture the spirit is to nurture the body, mind, and emotions. And so it goes, a
continuous connection. A continuing whole.
Do you feel fragmented? Have you disowned a part of yourself? Invite it back. Maybe you’ve focused too heavily on
one part and neglected others. You can be a world-class athlete and still not be in touch with your soul. You can be
skilled at dealing with any emotion that comes along, and yet not see the delicate connection between that emotion
and your conscious thoughts and beliefs. Or you may be so focused on tending to the needs of your spirit and mind
that you neglect your body– resent it and think of it as a limitation.
Tend to each aspect of the whole. Do things that nurture your spirit, perhaps spend time in prayer and meditation or
time with nature. Work on what you believe; clarify the thoughts that run through your head. Nurture yourself
emotionally. Let yourself heal from the feelings of the past, and do what you need to stay current and clear. Listen to
your body and give it what it needs– it’s not separate and apart, it’s not a nuisance. It’s the form your spirit created to
experience the gift of life.
Find that place of balance in nurturing all parts of you. Then life will begin to be magical and you’ll see what you
believe. Your feelings won’t be a bother. They’ll fuel your life; they’ll be the passion that adds color and zest to your life.
Your body will lead you instinctively into what you want and away from what you dislike. And the longer you travel the
journey to the heart, the more you’ll discover and trust your soul.
Start by becoming connected. If you love yourself and keep walking your path, soon you’ll see how connected you are.
******************************************
More Language Of Letting Go
Remember how to play
We don’t stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing.
–Herbert Spencer
I was sitting in my back porch watching a group of children playing in the surf. As the waves came surging in, they
would turn to face the shore on their body boards and paddle like heck to try to catch the wave. I watched the surf
crash down on top of them, one by one. There would be nothing for a few moments but the torrent of water, and then
a little while later a green foam board would pop up and a little while later, a laughing head and body. They’d shriek and
laugh, then one by one turn around, go back out, and do it again.
Later toward sunset, I saw two gray-haired men in ocean kayaks paddling near the shore. They would wait for the
perfect wave and then paddle as hard as they could, trying to catch it and ride it into shore. Again I watched as the
waves reared up and crashed down on the little boats. A kayak would get pushed up on the beach, followed a few
moments later by a laughing gray-haired man, who would then paddle back out and do it again.
I have a friend in his thirties who is determined to make it. He doesn’t know where he’s going; he just knows that he is
going somewhere. And no, he doesn’t have time to go to a basketball game or Magic Mountain. He’s busy and doesn’t
have time to play.
I have a friend in his fifties. He’s in excellent health. He sits in his house, feeds the dog, and complains about the pain
and the shortness of life. He doesn’t play because his poor body just isn’t what it used to be.
We can play or we can not play. It doesn’t make any difference one way or another, except that at the end, you will
have had a much more enjoyable time if you did.
God, help me start having some fun.
******************************************
A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
We learn in The Program that we cannot punish anyone without punishing ourselves. The release of my tensions,
even justified, in a punishing way leaves behind the dregs of bitterness and pain. This was the monotonous story of
my life before I came to The Program. So in my new life,k I’d do well to consider the long-range benefits of simply
owning my emotions, naming them and thus releasing them. Does the voice of God have a chance to be heard over
my reproachful shouting.?
Today I Pray
May I avoid name-calling, ego-crushing exchanges. If I am angry, may I try to assign my anger to what someone did
instead of what someone is. May I refrain from downgrading, lashing out at character flaws of mindless abuse. May I
count on my Higher Power to show me the way.
Today I Will Remember
Tod deal with anger appropriately.
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One More Day
Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. – Helen Keller
Pity, either from ourselves or others, harms us. yet, sometimes, we allow it to happen.
What we really need from others is empathy — for them to feel as if they were in our shoes. Pity can be a deep pit to
fall into, and the climb back out is difficult. We can’t begin to make the ascent until we are fully aware of why we have
allowed pity and self-pity to prevail. Maybe feeling sorry for ourselves has been easier than encountering the frustration
that may come when we make an effort.
The actions I take today will be based on growth for myself and will help me avoid self-pity.
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Food For Thought
Setting Priorities
One of our slogans is "first things first." We cannot have or do everything; we must set our priorities and choose what means the most to us.
Each of us needs to spend quiet time searching the inner self to determine which people, which activities, which tasks are most important. The results may surprise us. We may find that we are spending too much time with someone we really do not enjoy, preparing complicated meals which no one needs, working at a job which we dislike in order to make more money to buy more things. Do we really need the things? Do they enrich our lives or are they merely impressive?
Because I am a compulsive overeater, abstinence is the most important thing in my life. Without it, I do not enjoy other people, I do not like myself, I do not work well. If abstinence does not come first, everything else suffers.
May I remember that abstinence is my number one priority.
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One Day At A Time
SERENITY
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
The Serenity Prayer
My life before abstinence was a fight in the dark to stabilize my world and protect myself from more pain. Too much
suffering was endured by this child. She never understood that she could ever come back into the Light. But, the fog is
lifting now ... there are days of clarity and joy. How could she have known? She was too little.
Circumstances change ... memories fade away ... I can be safe again ... I can allow myself to be me. I will work my
program to secure the Light again in my world.
One day at a time . . .
I pray to understand that the stream of life keeps moving ... I will live in darkness no longer.
Margaret ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
An illness of this sort -- and we have come to believe it an illness -- involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. - Pg. 18 - There Is A Solution
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
It often happens that you won't know the role addiction played in your life until you stop using. You have replace roles now. Learning new skills, and this is done at meetings and with your sponsor, is a necessary step in adjusting to your new circumstances.
Rather than see additional burdens in new tasks, I choose to see them as a breath of new life.
Courage
I will develop the courage necessary to meet life. I cannot possibly meet the challenges of my life without courage. Today I understand that courage is something I develop. Each time I go through an experience that stretches me, each time I hold my own feet to the fire, each time I discipline myself and hold myself to a slightly higher standard than before, I grow inside, I get a little bit stronger, I strengthen my own courage to meet the next challenge.
I will I will grow in courage
- Tian Dayton PhD
Courage
I will develop the courage necessary to meet life. I cannot possibly meet the challenges of my life without courage. Today I understand that courage is something I develop. Each time I go through an experience that stretches me, each time I hold my own feet to the fire, each time I discipline myself and hold myself to a slightly higher standard than before, I grow inside, I get a little bit stronger, I strengthen my own courage to meet the next challenge.
I will I will grow in courage
- Tian Dayton PhD
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
'Choice, not chance, determines destiny.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
'Today I am establishing rapport with myself' - Peter Vegso
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Early in recovery. I heard Aldous Huxley give a lecture. Afterwards I went up to him, I had an AA pin on my lapel and he spotted it and he was ebullient and said;'I'm a friend of Bill W!' I didn't know Bill W, so I said: Mr. Huxley, what is God? and with this grin, he said; 'God is the inner experience of principles applied.' I said: ' Yeah...maybe you, didn't understand the question.' He said; 'You have a program, if you will apply those Steps, one day at a time, in your life, you will eventually have inner experiences that can't come about any other way. Then you won't have to ask that question because you will have the experience.' - Eddie C.
bluidkiti
02-11-2024, 07:55 AM
February 19
Daily Reflections
I'M NOT DIFFERENT
In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought
permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high
bottoms, " the women said they were different; . . . The
Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the
professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the
Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . .
nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very
much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are
finally down.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
I cannot consider myself "different" in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself
from others and from contact with my Higher Power. If I feel
isolated in A.A., it is not something for which others are responsible.
It is something I've created by feeling I'm "different" in some way.
Today I practice being just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of
Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Many things we do in A.A. are in preparation for that crucial moment
when, walking down the street on a nice sunshiny day, we see a nice
cool cocktail lounge and the idea of having a drink pops into our
minds. If we've trained our minds so that we're well prepared for that
crucial moment, we won't take that first drink. In other words, if
we've done our A.A. homework well, we won't slip when temptation
comes. In preparation for that crucial moment when I'll be tempted,
will I keep in mind the fact that liquor is my enemy?
Meditation For The Day
How many of the world's prayers have gone unanswered because
those who prayed did not endure to the end? They thought it was too
late, that they must act for themselves, that God was not going to
guide them. "He that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved."
Can I endure to the very end? If so, I shall be saved. I will try to
endure with courage. If I endure, God will unlock those secret
spiritual treasures that are hidden from those who do not endure to
the end.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may follow God's guidance, so that spiritual success shall
be mine. I pray that I may never doubt the power of God and so take
things into my own hands.
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As Bill Sees It
A.A.: Benign Anarchy and Democracy, p. 50
When we come into A.A. we find a greater personal freedom than any
other society knows. We cannot be compelled to do anything. In that
sense our Society is a benign anarchy. The word "anarchy" has a bad
meaning to most of us. But I think that the idealist who first advocated
the concept felt that if only men were granted absolute liberty, and were
compelled to obey no one, they would then voluntarily associate
themselves in the common interest. A.A. is an association of the benign
sort he envisioned.
But when we had to go into action--to function as groups--we discovered
that we also had to become a democracy. As our oldtimers retired, we
therefore began to elect our trusted servants by majority vote. Each
group in this sense became a town meeting. All plans for group action
had to be approved by the majority. This meant that no single individual
could appoint himself to act for his group or for A.A. as a whole.
Neither dictatorship nor paternalism was for us.
A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 224-225
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Walk In Dry Places
Sticking with the winners____Prudence
"Stick with the winners," newcomers are told at Twelve Step meetings. The real message of this statement is to share the attitudes and actions of people who are successful in living sober.
No recovering person can have a successful day while dwelling on ideas that can be harmful. We'll meet people in the course of the day whose attitudes may appall us. We may work with people who are critical, gossipy, or resentful. It's not our duty to correct them or argue with them. We're wise, however, not to accept what we recognize as wrong thinking.
Winners, in AA terms, are people who seek sobriety first and live up to the principles of the program. Seem them out for help in doing likewise.
I'll try to associate with people who exemplify the highest and best in good attitudes.
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Keep It Simple
Changing brings questions, and questions bring change. ---Anonymous
What am I becoming? How do I know if what I'm doing is right? Is it best for me? We are full of questions. Often, times of question a are times of change. We are becoming something new, and there is always a little fear of change. Luckily, we don't need to know what we are becoming to find peace. What we need to know is what we believe in. And we'll become what we believe in. If we believe in sobriety, we'll be sober. If we believe in honestly, we'll struggle to be more honest. We must give ourselves the freedom of becoming. Becoming means we're on a trip, a journey. Over time, becoming takes on a comfort of its own.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, what am I becoming? I give up having to know the answer. All I need to believe is that You love me and will do what is best for me.
Action for the Day: I'll ask lots of questions. Often, the question is more important than the answer.
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Each Day a New Beginning
No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. --Agnes DeMille
The day ahead offers us choices of many kinds--some big ones, many that will affect other persons close to us, a few that will have profound effects on our destiny. But no choice, no decision we make, will be wrong. A particular decision may lead us slightly astray. Down a dead-end path perhaps--but we can always turn back and choose again.
We are seldom aware of the gravity of a particular choice at the time of making it. Only hindsight reveals the wisdom of an important choice. Nevertheless, no choice is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. And at the same time, no choice is all-powerful regarding our destiny. We are offered chances again and again for making the right choices, the ones that will most contribute to the bigger plan for our lives.
I need not worry about today's opportunities for decision-making. I will listen to those around me. I will seek guidance in the messages coming to me. I will make the choices I need to, today.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding, you have perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hopeless he feels, the better. he will be more likely to follow your suggestions.
p. 94
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
At that time the group in New York was composed of about twelve men who were working on the principle of every drunk for himself; we had no real formula and no name. We would follow one man's ideas for a while, decide he was wrong, and switch to another's method. But we were staying sober as long as we kept and talked together. There was one meeting a week at Bill's home in Brooklyn, and we all took turns there spouting off about how we had changed our lives overnight, how many drunks we had saved and straightened out, and last but not least, how God had touched each of us personally on the shoulder. Boy, what a circle of confused idealists! Yet we all had one really sincere purpose in our hearts, and that was not to drink. At our weekly meeting I was a menace to serenity those first few months, for I took every opportunity to lambaste that "spiritual angle," as we called it, or anything else that had any tingle of theology. Much later I discovered the elders held many prayer meetings hoping to find a way to give me the heave-ho but at the same time stay tolerant and spiritual. They did not seem to be getting an answer, for here I was staying sober and selling lots of auto polish, on which they were making one thousand percent profit. So I rocked along my merry independent way until June, when I went out selling auto polish in England. After a very good week, two of my customers took me to lunch on Saturday. We ordered sandwiches, and one man said, "Three beers." I let that sit too. Then it was my turn--I ordered, "Three beers," but this time it was different; I had a cash investment of thirty cents, and, on a ten-dollar-a-week-salary, that a big thing. So I drank all three beers, one after the other, and said, "I'll be seeing you, boys," and went around the corner for a bottle. I never saw either of them again.
pp. 227-228
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
This is a very large order. It is a task which we may perform with increasing skill, but never really finish. Learning how to live in the greatest peace, partnership, and brotherhood with all men and women, of whatever description, is a moving and fascinating adventure. Every A.A. has found that he can make little headway in this new adventure of living until he first backtracks and really makes an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage he has left in his wake. To a degree, he has already done this when taking moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt, and in what ways. This reopening of emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and some still painfully festering, will at first look like a purposeless and pointless piece of surgery. But if a willing start is made, then the great advantages of doing this will so quickly reveal themselves that the pain will be lessened as one obstacle after another melts away.
pp. 77-78
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"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched... but are felt in the heart. --Hellen Keller
"It is awfully important to know what is and what is not your business." --Gertrude Stein
We need to let the old go, so the new can emerge. --Peggy Bassett
The more I force things, the tougher my life gets. --Helen Neujahr
My daily choice is to rise and shine or rise and whine. --Anonymous
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
PREJUDICE
"The chief cause of human errors
is to be found in the prejudices
picked up in childhood."
-- Rene Descartes
During the past few years I have begun to recognize how many of my
prejudices were planted in childhood. Family, teachers, priests and
"the neighborhood" passed on to me prejudices: " The Jews are bad
because they killed Jesus." "Blacks are inferior to white people ---
but you should be kind to them." "Women should obey the man of the
house." "Gays are child molesters." "People who do not accept Jesus will not
go to Heaven." "Sex is for having babies and you should not enjoy
it."
Today I live with the problem of knowing that these statements are
untrue but a part of me is still affected by them.
Today my spiritual program demands that I expose prejudice for the
"hate-mail" that it is, and try to pass on to the next generation the
joy that comes from love, acceptance and freedom.
Let the children grow in freedom.
************************************************** *********
"For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me when you seek for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him.
Lamentations 3:24-25
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Daily Inspiration
Joy is left if you rid your heart of all that pulls you down. Lord, help me to heal my spirit and grow from today's experiences.
You have a responsibility to be the best that you can be. Lord, may I find a good balance in my life so that I neither neglect myself and my duties nor my responsibility to those that need or depend on me.
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NA Just For Today
Reservations
"Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program."
Basic Text, p. 76
A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and-
such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a
spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe it's the
death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbor give us permission to
use when they come true-as they often do.
We can prepare ourselves for success instead of relapse by examining our expectations and altering them where we
can. Most of us carry within us a catalog of anticipated misery closely related to our fears. We can learn how to
survive pain by watching other members live through similar pain. We can apply their lessons to our own
expectations. Instead of telling ourselves we will have to get high if this happens, we can quietly reassure ourselves
that we, too, can stay clean through whatever life brings us today.
Just for today: I will check for any reservations that may endanger my recovery and share them with another addict.
************************************************** *********
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I have often thought morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice. --Leon Blum
Sometimes, trying to do the right thing isn't easy because it isn't what we want to do. For instance, we may want to
sneak a cookie to take to bed with us, or we may want to stay out late. But is that the right thing to do?
One way to tell is to think how we'll feel after we've done it. Will we be happy, or will we feel guilty because we know in
our hearts it is wrong? On the other hand, how would we feel if we resisted the temptation? Perhaps we'd feel great
because we'd know in our hearts we'd done the right thing. And don't we deserve to feel good about ourselves? Of
course we do!
How wonderful it is that our feelings can help us do the right thing when we're in doubt.
Will I have the courage to follow my true feelings today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how. --Friedrich Nietzsche
Our sense of purpose in life is not fixed in concrete. It changes from youth through all the stages of life. Often in the
transitions to a new growth stage we are most confused. In the chaotic life created by our own addictive or
codependent thinking, all meaning collapses around us. At these times we wonder, "What is the point?" "Does
anything really matter?"
We receive a why for our existence by participating in the whole of this world. We are sons, or fathers, or husbands,
or brothers, or friends to very specific people - and to the rest of our community, extending to all of creation. Our
sense of purpose may change when life circumstances change. We get married, for instance, and then say, "Now
what?" Or a child is born, or a parent dies, or we become disabled. Each time we may be confronted again with the
questions. Being open to contact with our world, keeping our barriers down so we stay in touch, restores our
awareness of purpose.
May I continue to respond to the changing phases in life - and be open to the renewal of purpose, which is here for me.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Our Path
I just spent several hours with someone from my group, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. This woman insisted that
the only way I would make progress in my program was to go to her church and succumb to her religious rules. She
pushed and insisted, and insisted and pushed. She's been in the program so much longer than I have. I kept thinking
that she must know what she's talking about. But it didn't feel right. And now I feel crazy, afraid, guilty, and ashamed. -
-Anonymous
The spiritual path and growth promised to us by the Twelve Steps does not depend on any religious belief. They are
not contingent upon any denomination or sect. They are not, as the traditions of Twelve Step programs state, affiliated
with any religious denomination or organization.
We do not have to allow anyone to badger us about religion in recovery. We do not have to allow people to make us
feel ashamed, afraid, or less than because we do not subscribe to their beliefs about religion.
We do not have to let them do it to us in the name of God, love, or recovery.
The spiritual experience we will find as a result of recovery and the Twelve Steps will be our own spiritual experience.
It will be a relationship with God, a Higher Power, as we understand God.
Each of us must find our own spiritual path. Each of us must build our own relationship with God, as we understand
God. Each of us needs a Power greater than ourselves. These concepts are critical to recovery.
So is the freedom to choose how to do that.
Higher Power, help me know that I don't have to allow anyone to shame or badger me into religious beliefs. If they
confuse that with the spirituality available in recovery, help me give their issue back to them. Help me discover and
develop my own spirituality, a path that works for me. Guide me, with Divine Wisdom, as I grow spiritually.
Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and
that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Be Gentle with Your Heart
On this road, this journey to the heart, you will see more, feel more, and be more than you’ve ever been before.
Your heart is open, your spirit is alive. You’re open to all that the universe, life, and God hold for you. Because you’re
that open, you are more sensitive than ever to people, energies, places, things. You are more sensitive to any
unresolved issues in yourself and in those around you. You are open, more open that you’ve ever been.
Comfort yourself. Wrap yourself up in a blanket of love and hope. Know that you will be feeling, seeing, and taking in a
great deal. Know that you will be healing at a deeper level than ever before. Most of the time, this will bring joy. But an
open heart is not one-dimensional, joy is not the only emotion it will embrace. Make room in your heart, room in your
life, and time in your days to feel other feelings,too– anger, grief, fear, exuberance, tenderness, betrayal, and
exhilaration– all the emotions an open heart feels.
You’re more open than you’ve ever been. Take gentle, loving care of yourself. Be tender with your heart.
******************************************
More Language Of Letting Go
Make your own fun
My house renovation project was way behind schedule. Spring was right around the corner. Stress was a pounding
ache in the back of my head.
Then we went to the toy store. “Oh, these will be great,” he said, grabbing two Nerf guns off the shelf. “And how about
a bow-and-arrow set,too?”
When we got home, we took some markers and drew a big target on the wall in the living room. We started shooting
at it, but soon grew tired of that game and started shooting at each other instead.
A friend walked in the front door.
We shot him. Two in the belly and one to the forehead.
He threw me into the hot tub.
And I forgot that the ceiling wasn’t done, and that the walls weren’t painted, and that the carpet would have to be
delayed. That night we had a barbecue, and our friends took out the markers and drew pictures of themselves, their
experiences, and their hopes on the unpainted walls of the house that was behind schedule. And we laughed, and no
one cared that the house was unlivable.
We can’t always control the timing of our plans, but we can have fun along the way. Friends don’t care if the project is
finished; they just want to be a part of the magic of life.
Look at things from a new perspective. Laugh. Be grateful you’re where you are at this moment. Don’t worry about
trying to hurry the future along. Look for the joy in life now.
Maybe a visit to the toy store would help you,too.
God, if I can’t see the joy in life, help me look again.
Activity: Go to the toy store today. But something that appeals to you, or buy something ridiculous– a twirl-o-paint, an
Erector set, a game of Operation, a bead-o-matic. Break out of your mold; look at life from a new perspective. Learn
how to play, again.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
When a person says something rash or ugly, we sometimes say they are “forgetting themselves,” meaning they’re
forgetting heir best selves in a sudden outburst of uncontrolled fury. If I remember the kind of person I want to be,m
hopefully I won’t “forget myself” and yield to a fit of temper. I’ll believe that the positive always defeats the negative:
courage over comes fear; patience overcomes anger and irritability; love overcomes hatred. Am I always striving for
improvement?
Today I Pray
Today I ask that God, to Whom all things are possible, help me turn negatives into positives — anger into super-
energy, fear into a chance to be courageous, hatred into love. May I take time out of remember examples of such
positive-groom-negative transformations from the whole of my lifetime. Uppermost is God’s miracle; my freedom from
the slavery of addiction.
Today I Will Remember
Turn negatives into positives.
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One More Day
Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another. – John Dewey
Accepting change is our lives is the basis of growth. To often, we’ve seen marks are razed, friends move away or die,
we become ill.
Eventually, we come to see change in a different light. For good or bad, or weather we approve or don’t approve,
change will happen. The only thing we can control is our reaction to it. Change that is progress or growth, such as old
landmarks disappearing and new ones being built or friends becoming involved in self-help groups, can be welcomed.
Other changes which can’t be greeted with enthusiasm — losing friends or becoming ill — can at least be seen as
random, not personal, consequences of human life. With this frame of mind, we are able to accept the challenges
demanded of us.
Changes in my life can encourage growth.
************************************
Food For Thought
Responsibility for Whom?
Before we came to OA, some of us felt responsible for seeing that others did what we thought they should do. By the time we took the Fourth Step, and often long before, we began to realize how manipulative we had tried to be. We may not have thought we could run the whole world, but we sometimes felt that we should maintain control over our little corner, at least.
Through this program, we are learning that we can only be responsible for ourselves. We cannot change anyone else. We can only work on ourselves. No matter how good our advice is, it is useful to someone else only if that person desires and requests it.
Learning that we are responsible to our Higher Power for ourselves alone lifts a heavy weight from our weak shoulders. We stop trying to decide what others should do and how they will react to what we do. We do the best we can, seeking guidance and direction from God, and then we leave the results to Him.
Show me my area of responsibility, Lord.
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One Day At A Time
~ SELF KNOWLEDGE ~
We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes
and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.
Tom Robbins
I always tried to do my best in everything I did. Studies, school, and managing my own family are some good
examples. Being in control made it seem as though I always did as I was told, but I had a very difficult time Being on
my own and thinking for myself. The talent I was born with gave me a good start at being an artist, but I couldn't seem
to make a successful career out of it. I was scared and shy and didn't dare be on the forefront of making this talent
into what I wanted it to be.
When I started on my path to Recovery, I found that I was being too much of a perfectionist. I was always told to do
things perfectly and I tried and tried but never seemed to satisfy my parents or the god of my childhood. So when I
grew up I was so hard on myself that I lost the creativity I was born with. Creativity can't thrive in a hostile environment.
One day while reading an author I liked, I read that I had to "get out of my own way". I was a dragon trying to do
something creative and it didn't work. I have to learn to "rescue myself from myself" so I can do my art with the talents
that are God-given.
One day at a time ... I realize that if I want to see myself as I really am,I cannot stand in my own shadow.
~ Myrlene ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. Their young minds were
impressionable while he was drinking. Without saying so, they may cordially hate him for what he has done to them
and to their mother. The children are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. - Pg. 134 - The
Family Afterward
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
It is easier for us to blame others (parents, spouses, friends) for our addiction then it is to look at self. We must never
forget that we drank that drink, snorted that coke, toked that joint, and took that fix. US. 'They' didn't do it.
May I never forget that I used too many mind affecting chemicals because I have the disease of addiction! Other
reasons are not causes. Everyone has problems yet not everyone suffers from addiction.
Empowering My Own Day
There are no victims, only volunteers. If there is something I don't like in the way things are going for me, I will see
what I can change. I can change the subject if someone goes on and on about things that I don't want to talk about. I
can change my routines and trade un-nourishing ones for nourishing ones, I can set boundaries with my time. My time
is precious to me, it is all I have to call my very own. I won't throw it away and then blame someone else. I have a right
to protect the quiet and pleasure in my day, to do more of those things that give me pleasure and fewer of things that
run me down. If I am living up to my responsibilities, that is enough.
I won't throw my time away with both hands
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Half measures do not avail us half, they avail us nothing.
Am I willing to go to any length?
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I know that I am doing the best that I can and I will be gentle with myself. I will watch what comes without
struggle and will accept what is and adjust myself to it, rather than wanting it to be different than it is.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
The difference between God and me is that God doesn't think he's me. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-11-2024, 07:55 AM
February 20
Daily Reflections
THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER
At this juncture, his A.A. sponsor usually laughs.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26
Before my recovery from alcoholism began, laughter was
one of the most painful sounds I knew. I never laughed
and I felt that anyone else's laughter was directed at
me! My self-pity and anger denied me the simplest of
pleasures or lightness of heart. By the end of my
drinking not even alcohol could provoke a drunken
giggle in me. When my A.A. sponsor began to laugh and
point out my self-pity and ego-feeding deceptions, I was
annoyed and hurt, but it taught me to lighten up and focus
on my recovery. I soon learned to laugh at myself and
eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also.
Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself
too seriously.
************************************************** *********
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun
drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected
with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my
enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me
and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I
began to get into trouble. And since I realize that liquor
is now my enemy, my main business now is keeping sober.
Making a living or keeping a house is no longer my main
business. It's secondary to the business of keeping sober.
Do I realize that my main business is keeping sober?
Meditation For The Day
I can depend on God to supply me with all the power I need
to face any situation, provided that I will sincerely
believe in that power and honestly ask for it, at the same
time making all my life conform to what I believe God wants
me to be. I can come to God as a business manager would
come to the owner of the business, knowing that to lay the
matter before Him means immediate cooperation, provided the
matter has merit.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may believe that God is ready and willing to
supply me with all that I need. I pray that I may ask only
for faith and strength to meet any situation.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
The Coming Of Faith, p. 51
In my own case, the foundation stone of freedom from fear is that of
faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary,
causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense.
To me, this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and
love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to
grow, however little and haltingly, toward His own likeness and image.
Before the coming of faith I had lived as an alien in a cosmos that too
often seemed both hostile and cruel. In it there could be no inner
security for me.
<< << << >> >> >>
"When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask
for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and
problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I
saw the universe to be lighted by God's love; I was alone no more."
1. Grapevine, January 1962
2. Letter, 1966
************************************************** *********
Walk In Dry Places
A day of Acceptance
Releasing the Past
"We will not regret the past nor fear the future," goes one of the promises in Twelve Step programs. Neither the past nor the future should control what we're thinking and doing today. After all, if our higher power is everything, no person or action can be outside of this supreme control.
Today, I will rise above anything that was said or done in the past. I will also hold the idea that the future is bright with promise, and that this promise will be fulfilled. Nobody's opinion or criticism can be unsettling to me if my beliefs and self-worth are anchored in my Higher Power.
It's true that there might have been lots of wreckage in the past…. Even more recently when we have been living sober. It doesn't matter. I amazing ways, our higher power sometimes turns negative conditions into future benefits. This was actually what happened when our compulsive condition led directly to a new way of life.
I will accept life today and will look for unexpected blessings. No person or group can keep me from good as I accept God's direction in my life.
"In all your ways acknowledge [God who] shall direct your paths." I'll remember this frequently as I go about the day.
************************************************** *********
Keep It Simple
Let Go and Let God.---Twelve Step slogan
Some days we might ask ourselves, Is it worth it? We feel alone. No one seems to care.
Life seems hard. Recovery seems hard. This is when we need to slow down and take a look at what's going on. We're feeling this way because we're off our recovery path. We may be back
into wanting people to see things our way. We want control. Remember, all problems are not our problems. All work is not our work. We can't have everything the way we want it. But we can do our part and let go of the rest. Than we can feel better.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember my only work today is to do Your will for me. It is not my job to be You.
Action for the Day: I'll talk with my sponsor or a program friend today. I'll talk about how to deal with things that seems to pull me down.
************************************************** *********
Each Day a New Beginning
No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. --Agnes DeMille
The day ahead offers us choices of many kinds--some big ones, many that will affect other persons close to us, a few that will have profound effects on our destiny. But no choice, no decision we make, will be wrong. A particular decision may lead us slightly astray. Down a dead-end path perhaps--but we can always turn back and choose again.
We are seldom aware of the gravity of a particular choice at the time of making it. Only hindsight reveals the wisdom of an important choice. Nevertheless, no choice is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. And at the same time, no choice is all-powerful regarding our destiny. We are offered chances again and again for making the right choices, the ones that will most contribute to the bigger plan for our lives.
I need not worry about today's opportunities for decision-making. I will listen to those around me. I will seek guidance in the messages coming to me. I will make the choices I need to, today.
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people. Do not contradict such views. Tell him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action. On your first visit tell him about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book.
p. 94
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
I had completely forgotten the January 8 when I found the Fellowship, and I spent the next four days wandering around New England half drunk, by which I mean I couldn't get drunk and I couldn't get sober. I tried to contact the boys in New York, but telegrams bounced right back, and when I finally got Hank on the telephone he fired me right then. This was when I really took my first good look at myself. My loneliness was worse than it had ever been before, for now even my own kind had turned against me. This time it really hurt, more than any hangover ever had. My brilliant agnosticism vanished, and I saw for the first time that those who really believed, or at least honestly tried to find a Power greater than themselves, were much more composed and contented than I had ever been, and they seemed to have a degree of happiness I had never known.
pp. 228-229
************************************************** *********
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
These obstacles, however, are very real. The first, and one of the most difficult, has to do with forgiveness. The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he has done us. This is especially true if he has, in fact, behaved badly at all. Triumphantly we seize upon his misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own.
p. 78
************************************************** *********
God, please help me let go of my expectations and accept the gifts that you give me each day, knowing that there is beauty and wonder in each act of life. --Melody Beattie
"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." --Mother Theresa
"Life has a way of creating roadblocks that end up as building blocks in our lives." --Doug Firebaugh
"Turn your troubles into treasures. Learn from them and grow from them." --Mark Victor Hansen
Teaching is the best way to learn.
Leading by example is the best way to teach.
************************************************** *********
Father Leo's Daily Meditation
CHRISTIANITY
"Going to Church doesn't make
you a Christian any more than
going to the garage makes you a
car."
-- Laurence J. Peter
I cannot help but believe that the truth of Christianity is about
bringing the world and mankind together, rather than creating
divisions and resentments. It must be much bigger than what we do or
say in any building. Christ's truth seeks to discover God in the
splendor of His varied world. In this sense, Christianity is an aspect of
the world's spirituality!
My addiction made me a small man with a small god. Constantly
focusing on the differences in the world stopped me from seeing the
glaring similarities; my exclusiveness kept me a lonely man. The
world of black and white, rather than shades of creative color, is a
sick and dangerous world to live in. Jesus Christ reveals for me the
"man for others"; the bridge by which reconciliation and harmony
can be achieved. His message for me is not so much a series of
dogmas as a revealed journey into Truth.
In the created stranger, help me to discover the friend.
************************************************** *********
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."
2 Peter 1:3
"A cheerful heart is good medicine..." Proverb 17:22a
"Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge." Psalm 16:1
************************************************** *********
Daily Inspiration
Prayer helps us see that God is not the cause of unpleasant happenings, but the healing of them. Lord, I trust in You for the right outcomes in all situations.
Each day is new! Each day is an opportunity to start again and be our best selves. Lord, silence my old ways of thinking, my old habits, and my old tapes inside my head.
************************************************** *********
NA Just For Today
Powerlessness, Personal Responsibility
"Through our inability to accept personal responsibilities, we were actually creating our own problems."
Basic Text, p. 13
When we refuse to take responsibility for our lives, we give away all of our personal power. We need to remember that
we are powerless over our addiction, not our personal behavior.
Many of us have misused the concept of powerlessness to avoid making decisions or to hold onto things we had
outgrown. We have claimed powerlessness over our own actions. We have blamed others for our circumstances
rather than taking positive action to change those circumstances. If we continue to avoid responsibility by claiming that
we are "powerless;" we set ourselves up for the same despair and misery we experienced in our active addiction. The
potential for spending our recovery years feeling like victims is very real.
Instead of living our lives by default, we can learn how to make responsible choices and take risks. We may make
mistakes, but we can learn from these mistakes. A heightened awareness of ourselves and an increased willingness
to accept personal responsibility gives us the freedom to change, to make choices, and to grow.
Just for today: My feelings, actions, and choices are mine. I will accept responsibility for them.
************************************************** *********
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Say what you like: say I'm ill,
Say I broke my leg on the stairs,
Say we've had a fire
--T. S. Eliot
Think of the trouble of excuses and lies. They force us to make ourselves sick, live with a whole broken leg, start some sort of slow burn. When we tell someone we're not at home, we have to hide in that place. When we invent a long line of lies, we have to memorize each one. It's easiest just to come clean, use plain and simple words, and speak true. When accusers spear us with their stares, we can disarm them by looking them right in the eye.
Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves, and make our real reasons for the choices we've made seem unworthy, if we feel we can't express them. Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain results. Truth keeps communication lines open. Then, when someone really wants to know what's on our minds, we can simply open our hearts.
Is anything too terrible to tell to a friend?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life. --Garrison Keillor
Our problems with anger and our problems in relationships go hand in hand. Some of us have held back our anger, which led to resentment of our loved ones. Some of us have indulged our anger and become abusive. Some of us have been so frightened of anger that we closed off the dialogue in our relationships when angry feelings came out.
Some of us have wasted our energy by focusing anger on people who weren't really important to us. Do we truly want them to become so important? Yet, perhaps the important relationships got frozen because we weren't open and respectful with our anger. It isn't possible to be close to someone without being angry at times. We let our loved ones be part of our lives by feeling our anger when it is there and expressing it openly, directly, and respectfully to them - or by hearing them when they are angry. Then, with dialogue, we can let it go.
I will be aware of those people I am making important in my life and will grow in dealing with my anger.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
You must do the thing you think you cannot do. --Eleanor Roosevelt
How can we ever do that which seems impossible? Taking a class, quitting a job, leaving a destructive relationship behind, asking for help; none of these can we do alone or with ease. All of these we can handle when we rely on the help offered by the program, the help of one another, the help promised by our higher power. Tackling with God's help that which seems impossible, reduces it to manageable size. It also deflates the power our fears have given it.
That which we fear grows in proportion to our obsession with it. The more we fear a thing, the bigger it becomes, which in turn increases our fear. How lucky we are that God awaits our call for the strength, the companionship that is guaranteed us! We are in partnership, all the way, every day, if we'd only recognize it. We can move toward and through anything. And the added benefit is that we come to trust our partnership. We soon know that all situations can be met. All experiences can be survived. Avoidance is no longer our technique for survival.
A deep breath invites the inner strength to move through me. I will feel the exhilaration of God's power. And I will know the excitement of growth and peace.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Setting Our Own Course
We are powerless over other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want us to do and be.
We can control how we respond to other people's expectations.
During the course of any day, people may make demands on our time, talents, energy, money, and emotions. We do not have to say yes to every request. We do not have to feel guilty if we say no. And we do not have to allow the barrage of demands to control the course of our life.
We do not have to spend our life reacting to others and to the course they would prefer we took with our life.
We can set boundaries, firm limits on how far we shall go with others. We can trust and listen to ourselves. We can set goals and direction for our life. We can place value on ourselves.
We can own our power with people.
Buy some time. Think about what you want. Consider how responding to another's needs will affect the course of your life. We live or own life by not letting other people, their expectations, and their demands control the course of our life. We can let them have their demands and expectations; we can allow them to have their feelings. We can own our power to choose the path that is right for us.
Today, God, help me own my power by detaching, and peacefully choosing the course of action that is right for me. Help me know I can detach from the expectations and wants of others. Help me stop pleasing other people and start pleasing myself.
I know that I am being led along a path of healing today. As I become more and more open to spirituality and recovery, My path becomes brighter and clearer every day. --Ruth Fishel
******************************************
Journey to the Heart
Spread Your Wings and Fly
I sat on the ground on a dirt road that wandered off a main highway in Idaho. I leaned against a tree and watched a
mother eagle and her babies in a nest overhead. She fussed as she protected them, watching me closely, responding
with her call to any noise she heard. She was very protective now, but someday it would be time to push them out of
the nest. It would be time to teach them to fly.
Many of us have been pushed out of the nest. Something unexpected happened, and our world changed. We may
have fought valiantly to get back in the nest, to return to the safety of life as we knew it. But life had pushed us out. We
had no choice but to flap our wings and learn to fly the best we could.
See how magical this time has been? See how much you’ve learned? With all our fears and resistance, it has still
been a grand and powerful time. You flailed around a bit, wondering who to trust. You tried to trust others, then found
that didn’t work. Finally you understood. The very lesson you were learning was that of trusting yourself.
You were learning to listen to and trust your inner voice. You were learning to open your heart. Despite all your fears,
you have done a grand job. Look how much you’ve changed.
See all the powers you’ve gained? You’ve opened up to your healing powers, your creative powers,too. You know and
sense things in a way that used to seem beyond reach and now seems both magical and commonplace. Your
instincts and intuition are finely tuned. Your inner voice is clear. And despite all your fears about being abandoned, you
now see how much you are loved.
When life pokes and prods you, it’s not punishment or abuse. You’re being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings
and take flight. See how well you can fly.
******************************************
More Language Of Letting Go
Take a side road
Adventures don’t begin until you get into the forest. That first step in an act of faith.
–Micky Hart
We were driving along highway 166 in central California on another road trip. The trip had been a long one, started on
the spur of the moment, as they usually are, and now we were anxious to get back home. Then we– Andy, Chip, and
I– all saw it: a small road leading up into the mountains behind an open gate. It wasn’t on the atlas. The road turned to
dirt. Cows lounged on the path and we had to wait for them to move out of the way. The GPS (Global Positioning
System) got lost. The path degraded. We hit a patch of black mud and the truck struggled for a moment. Chipster
gunned the motor and we leapt ahead.
“Think we should turn around?” he asked.
“No, this road must go somewhere,” said Andy.
“Aaaah,” I said.
We came to a small lake in the middle of the path.
“You can make it,” said Andy, rolling up his window.
“Aaaah,” I said.
Chip switched into four-wheel drive and gunned the motor. Muddy water poured in through the open sunroof.
Much later– after we moved rocks out of the way, splashed through more puddles, saw stunning views from a high
ridgeline, and drove far too close to the edge of the cliff– we came across an old man pushing a bicycle up the road.
We asked, “How much further is it to get out of here?”
“Well,” he replied, “how far in have you come?”
“We didn’t come in this way.”
A puzzled look crossed his face. “How did you get here then?”
“We drove over the ridge.”
He shook his head in disbelief and walked on.
Ten miles later we came to another gate. The cell phone started to work again.
The GPS decided that we were still on the planet after all.
Sometimes, we find the biggest adventures when we deviate from the map and drive through the gate into new
territory just to see where it goes.
God, help me remember that I don’t have to follow the map all the time. Give me the spirit of adventure. Bring a little
woohoo into my life.
******************************************
A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
We are often told in The Program that “more will be revealed.” As we are restored to health and become increasingly
able to lve comfortably in the real world without using chemicals, we begin to see many things in a new light. Many of
us have come to realize, for example, that our arch enemy, anger, comes disguised in many shapes and colors:
intolerance, contempt, snobbishness, rigidity, tension, sarcasm, distrust, anxiety, envy, hatred, cynicism, discontent,
self-pity, malice, suspicion, jealousy. Do I let my feelings get the best of me?
Today I Pray
May I recognize that my anger, like dancer at a masquerade, wears many forms of many faces. May I strip off it’s
several masks and know it for what it is.
Today I Will Remember
Anger wears a thousand masks.
******************************************
One More Day
This is a delicious evening, when the whole body is one sense and imbibes delight through every pore.
– Henry David Thoreau
We carry the memory of a soft spring rain within us even in a dry season. We remember the pungent fragrance of
new mow grass, the chirping of crickets, the singing of birds.
Such memories are important to us, but we’re increasingly determined to also create new ones. It takes some
planning on our part to get out, but we know the experience is worth the effort. Our mobility maybe limited, or we might
not be living in a place where we can commune with nature as easily as we did when we were younger. But we’re
creative and find the joy of outdoors, on the stoop of our building or on a park bench. Zoos, nature preserves, and
public parks give us a areas for today’s enjoyment and tomorrow’s memories.
My illness imposes real limitations upon me; I will not impose artificial ones upon myself.
************************************
Food For Thought
A Selfish Program
We call our program a selfish one. It is something, which we want more than anything else, not only for weight loss but also for peace of mind. We do not join OA to please anyone else; our primary purpose is to do what is best for ourselves.
Starting the program where we are, we take the aspects of it which apply to each current situation. We give to and share with our group, but we also remember that the best thing we can do for any other compulsive overeater is to practice our own abstinence.
We have found that putting ourselves down does no good, either to ourselves or to anyone else. If for someone else we do something, which we sincerely believe is wrong for us, then our resentment is bound to come out sooner or later.
When we were overeating compulsively, we often tried to hold down our resentment with food. Instead of honestly facing anger and hostility, we tried to make it go away by eating.
The OA program gives us a better way to deal with negative emotions, and for selfish reasons we need this program!
May I not be afraid to recognize my needs.
*****************************************
One Day At A Time
Secrets
There were deep secrets hidden in my heart,
never said for fear others would scoff or sneer.
At last I can reveal my sufferings,
for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power.
Deidra Sarault
I've heard it said in program that we are only a sick as the secrets we keep. If that is the case, then I was very sick
when desperation forced me through the doors of ths wonderful fellowship.
Not one of my friends or family knew what I was doing around food, as most of it was done in secret, and I was always
careful to remove all the evidence. I couldn't believe that anyone would love me if they knew what I was doing around
food, and felt that I was either really bad or totally crazy, or both. But for the first time ever, I was able to come clean
about what I was doing around food, and I wasn't judged or frowned upon. The love and acceptance I have received
here has been totally overwhelming, but in addition I found out that others had done the same or similar things to what
I had done, and so for the first time ever, I felt that I wasn't alone. Not only have I been able to talk freely about my food
and what I had been doing, as well as what it was doing to me, but in the fourth and fifth step, I was finally able to
share with another person my darkest deepest secrets, that for years I'd thought had made me this terrible person. It
was in fact in sharing all the things that I'd thought of as so bad, that I came to realise that it was only my magnifying
mind that had made them appear so, and that in fact they really weren't bad at all. I would never have found that out,
had I not been in this program, and I'm so grateful for the relief that sharing all these things has given me.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to get honest and share with my sponsor and others in this program, all the things that are bothering me,
whether it be food or other issues, so I can be relieved of the pain that all my secrets are causing me.
~ Sharon
*****************************************
AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material
well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded. - pg. 127 - The Family Afterward
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
The professionals and counselors in our new life may appraise our situation better than us. They did not carry on a
love affair with our drug of choice. Therefore, their evaluation of what the heck we are doing may be more nearly
correct.
May I have the ability to listen to those trying to help me; they honestly may be more objective than myself.
Sincerity
I will be sincere. I will pray with a true heart. I will greet life and the gifts it gives me with an appreciative heart. Today I
will not ask life to be something I am not willing to be. I won't ask the world to shower blessings onto me that I am not
willing to deserve by my own right action.
I will be the goodness I wish to have
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
We may have the right to be wrong, but our steps teach us that we don't have the right to do wrong.
When my only reason for doing something is 'because I have the right!' it usually turns out wrong.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
There are no chemical solutions to spiritual problems.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I know that I am being led along a path of healing today. As I become more and more open to spirituality and recovery,
My path becomes brighter and clearer every day.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I wanted to be a writer. So I bought a pipe, a sports jacket with leather on the sleeves and a book on French. And I sat
in the bar. I never wrote a line. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-11-2024, 07:56 AM
February 21
Daily Reflections
I'M PART OF THE WHOLE
At once, I became a part--if only a tiny part--of
a cosmos....
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 225
When I first came to A.A., I decided that "they" were
very nice people--perhaps a little naive, a little too
friendly, but basically decent, earnest people (with
whom I had nothing in common). I saw "them" at meetings
--after all, that was where "they" existed. I shook
hands with "them" and, when I went out the door, I
forgot about "them." Then one day my Higher Power,
whom I did not then believe in, arranged to create a
community project outside of A.A., but one which
happened to involve many A.A. members. We worked
together, I got to know "them" as people. I came to
admire "them," even to like "them" and, in spite of
myself, to enjoy "them." "Their" practice of the
program in their daily lives--not just talk at meetings
--attracted me and I wanted what they had. Suddenly the
"they" became "we." I have not had a drink since.
************************************************** *********
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
I go to the A.A. meetings because it helps me in my
business of keeping sober. And I try to help other
alcoholics when I can, because that's my part of my
business of keeping sober. I also have a partner in
this business and that's God. I pray to Him every
day to help me keep sober. As long as I keep in mind
that liquor can never be my friend again, but is now
my deadly enemy, and as long as I remember that my
main business is keeping sober and that it's the most
important thing in my life, I believe that I'll be
prepared for that crucial moment when the idea of
having a drink pops into my mind. When that idea
comes, will I be able to resist it and not take that drink?
Meditation For The Day
I will be more afraid of spirit-unrest, of soul-
disturbance, of any ruffling of the mind, than of
earthquake or fire. When I feel the calm of my spirit
has been broken by emotional upset, then I must steal
away alone with God, until my heart sings and all is
strong and calm again. Uncalm times are the only times
when evil can find an entrance. I will beware of
unguarded spots of unrest. I will try to keep calm, no
matter what turmoil surrounds me.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that no emotional upset will hinder God's power
in my life. I pray that I may keep a calm spirit and a
steady heart.
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As Bill Sees It
To Guard Against A Slip, p. 52
Suppose we fall short of our chosen ideals and stumble? Does this
mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is
only a half-truth.
It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have
done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things,
we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we
are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite
sure to drink. These are facts out of our experience.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 70
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Walk In Dry Places
Unexpected Disappointments____Acceptance.
As life unfolds, we sometimes get unexpected disappointments that seem undeserved -- the car breaks down, a business deal goes sour, or a close friend betrays us. As alcoholics, most of us don't handle such things too well. "Why me, Lord?" we often respond.
Our best approach is simply to view life as a mixture of bitter and sweet, knowing that we've been given real mastery over conditions. We cannot always be sure that a disappointment really is as bad as it seems to be, and sometimes it can become a step toward our good. As one alcoholic phrased it, "some of the worst things that have happened turned out to be the best."
It's good to face the day with optimism, with confidence, and even with some excitement about the opportunities ahead. If we're maintaining sober thinking, everything that happens today will be transformed into gains for tomorrow -- all our tomorrows. We're on a spiritual journey that goes far beyond anything we're doing here and now.
I won't expect to be disappointed today, but I'll know that nothing can really upset or disturb me without my permission.
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Keep It Simple
It easier to speak of love, than to practice it. --Anonymous
Do we help our neighbor who is in need? We must help when we see the need, not just when it fits our schedule. In the program, this becomes our goal. We work at helping out. For example, when someone is needed to run the meeting, we offer. We see that the needs of the group are also our needs. We are the group. Over time, the idea of service spreads to the rest of our lives. Maybe we help a family down the street. We start to see that we have something to offer the world; ourselves. We start to see that the needs of the world are also our needs. We are an important part of the world.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, make me quick to act when I see a need. Please don't let my fear stop me..
Action for the Day: Today, I'll list what I have to offer the world. I will think of two ways I can use these gifts my Higher Power has given me.
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Each Day a New Beginning
We can never go back again, that much is certain. --Daphne DuMaurier
Yesterday is gone, but its experiences will be reflected in those of today. We learned from both the good and the bad situations of yesterday. Where we travel today, likewise, will influence our direction tomorrow. We can't do over what has gone before, but we can positively incorporate all that life is offering us from this moment forth.
We are moving toward greater understanding of life's mysteries with each experience. As today unfolds, we can be moved by the adventures. What we experience is ours alone and will contribute to the unfolding of our special destiny. We move forward, only forward. The doors behind us are closed forever.
Facing what comes to us, with strength, is a gift from this program we share. Letting go of the yesterdays and the last years is another gift offered by this program. And trust that what we face along with what we let go will weave the pattern of our rightful unfolding--that is the ultimate gift given to us by this program.
I need never go back again. I am spared that. My destiny lies in the future. And I can be certain it will bring me all that I desire, and more.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he like. Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mistake. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help.
p. 95
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
Peddling off my polish samples for expenses, I crawled back to New York a few days later in a very chastened frame of mind. When the others saw my altered attitude they took me back in, but for me they had to make it tough; if they hadn't I don't think I ever would have stuck it out. Once again, there was the challenge of a tough job, but this time I was determined to follow through. For a long time the only Higher Power I could concede was the power of the group, but this was far more than I had ever recognized before, and it was at least a beginning. It was also an ending, for never since June 16th, 1938, have I had to walk alone.
p. 229
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
Right here we need to fetch ourselves up sharply. It doesn't make much sense when a real tosspot calls a kettle black. Let's remember that alcoholics are not the only ones bedeviled by sick emotions. Moreover, it is usually a fact that our behavior when drinking has aggravated the defects of others. We've repeatedly strained the patience of our best friends to a snapping point, and have brought out the very worst in those who didn't think much of us to begin with. In many instances we are really dealing with fellow sufferers, people whose woes we have increased. If we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?
p. 78
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Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind. --Cited in Even More of...The Best of BITS & PIECES
I was led around by emotions rather than facts.
Honesty is the absence of the intent to deceive.
Every man must take time daily for quiet and meditation. In daily meditation lies the secret of power. No one can grow in either spiritual knowledge or power without it. --H. Emilie Cady
No matter what is happening in your life, know that God Is Waiting for you with open Arms.
Sometimes Love is just Love and can't be something you can analyze or even understand.
"It doesn't matter if your on the right track, if you don't move, you'll get run over" --Will Rogers
Today I know that I am doing the best I can and will be gentle with myself. I will watch what comes without struggle and will accept what is and adjust myself to it, rather than wanting it to be different than it is. --Ruth Fishel
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
ART
"Only work which is the product
of inner compulsion can have
spiritual meaning."
-- Walter Gropius
I have developed, in my recovery, an awareness of the beauty of this
world and an appreciation of what man can produce. Sobriety has
made art accessible. Today I can see beauty in paintings, sculpture,
music, literature and the natural "art" of nature.
Spirituality is always creative and it is at the center of all that is
good, noble and inspiring. Although I am not an artist, I can
appreciate and have a feeling of "belonging" to the beauty of this
world --- in a sense it all happens and takes shape through me. The
rediscovery of spirituality has brought the world and the universe into
my life.
Help me to have the desire to recreate Your splendors through my
experiences.
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"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13
"I can do all things in Him who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9
"And do not keep striving for what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not keep worrying.... Instead, strive for his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well." Luke 12:29,31
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Daily Inspiration
All the good things in life don't mean much if we fail to enjoy them. Lord, may I pause to notice my blessings and be joyful.
Your last chance to do anything about today is right now. Lord, help me keep my thoughts on making this day better so that I build a good foundation for tomorrow.
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NA Just For Today
Self-Pity Or Recovery - It's Our Choice
"Self-pity is one of the most destructive of defects; it will drain us of all positive energy."
Basic Text, p. 77
In active addiction, many of us used self-pity as a survival mechanism. We didn't believe there was an alternative to
living in our disease&151or perhaps we didn't want to believe. As long as we could feel sorry for ourselves and blame
someone else for our troubles, we didn't have to accept the consequences of our actions; believing ourselves
powerless to change, we didn't have to accept the need for change. Using this "survival mechanism" kept us from
entering recovery and led us closer, day by day, to self-destruction. Self-pity is a tool of our disease; we need to stop
using it and learn instead to use the new tools we find in the NA program.
We have come to believe that effective help is available for us; when we seek that help, finding it in the NA program,
self-pity is displaced by gratitude. Many tools are at our disposal: the Twelve Steps, the support of our sponsor, the
fellowship of other recovering addicts, and the care of our Higher Power. The availability of all these tools is more than
enough reason to be grateful. We no longer live in isolation, without hope; we have certain help at hand for anything we
may face. The surest way to become grateful is to take advantage of the help available to us in the NA program and to
experience the improvement the program will bring in our lives.
Just for today: I will be grateful for the hope NA has given me. I will cultivate my recovery and stop cultivating self-pity.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We cannot do all things. --Virgil
We are each limited in terms of time and energy. If we try to do too much, we do everything half-rate. How much better it is to clearly sort out what is really important to us, and then give ourselves to those things or people wholeheartedly.
Famous writers have written about the difficulty of having more than one or two really good friends. That number seems so unimpressive if we equate popularity with the number of friends we have. If we want quality, we must accept our limitations. In this way we avoid wasting energy on unimportant tasks, on friends who aren't true or close, on goals which aren't what we really want. We can only commit ourselves wholeheartedly to a limited number of tasks and a limited number of people.
Who are my truly good friends?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The readiness is all. --William Shakespeare
Our concept of control was flawed. This program leads us into a New World. Here we meet the fact that we are powerless to change some aspects of ourselves. But we can become ready to be changed. That makes all the difference. When we accept this truth, we are already changed and we are more in line with nature and the universe.
We can't make ourselves less perfectionistic, but we can become ready to let go of our demand for perfection. We can't force family harmony into our lives, but we can become more ready to be harmonious. We can't make a lasting love appear for us on command - we can become ready for such a relationship when the opportunities appear. Do we yearn for some change? How might we ready ourselves to receive it?
Today, I will try to become ready for the help and change I most need in my life.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Living in the Present
The present moment is all we have. Yes, we have plans and goals, a vision for tomorrow. But now is the only time we possess. And it is enough.
We can dear our mind of the residue of yesterday. We can clear our mind of fears of tomorrow. We can be present, now. We can make ourselves available to this moment, this day. It is by being fully present now that we reach the fullness of tomorrow.
Have no fear, child, a voice whispers. Have no regrets. Relinquish your resentments. Let Me take your pain. All you have is the present moment. Be still. Be here. Trust. All you have is now. It is enough.
Today, I will affirm that all is well around me, when all is well within.
It is exciting to know that I have all the strength I need today to do what is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Let Love Be
You can’t control love. It’s impossible. It’s like screaming and screeching and begging a rose to unfold faster, better, or differently.
Love is an energy– an active, living force that runs its threads through all of life, through all of the universe. But we can’t control love. It is not its nature to be controlled. It’s futile to stand with our hands in our pockets and heels dug into the ground saying, I shall control the course of love, or I shall allow another to control me because I’m afraid love will go away.
We can open our hearts and let love run through us. We can open our hearts and receive love. We can open our eyes and see universal love all around us, in places we never saw it before. We can awaken our souls and see that all these experiences have been lessons of love. Learning courage, faith, patience. Learning to love ourselves, when it looked and felt as if no one else did. Learning to express our creativity, express our emotions, and experience joy. Each one has been a lesson of love.
We have learned to let love be and be open to what that is and the new direction it may lead us in. Love is a powerful living force that permeates the universe and funnels through us. We don’t lead it, it leads and guides us.
Honor the guidance of your heart, and you will be honoring the guidance of love.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Say woohoo wherever you are
I walked into the beach house after a day of work to find my friendly tormentors, Chip and Andy, standing by the window that drops down to the beach. Actually, Chip was standing next to the window; Andy was outside, hanging by a climbing harness. The rope led into the house and was tied off around one of the support beams.
I didn’t ask what they were doing. I just grabbed the climbing harness that was lying on the floor at Chip’s feet and asked if I could try,too.
Rappelling from the house down to the beach is not my ordinary activity. But sometimes, even the smallest, most ridiculous things can be a chance for a mini-woohoo. That night, I learned to rappel in the moonlight on the beach from the living room of my house.
Be open to new experience in your life. If it isn’t life-threatening, maybe it’s okay, even if it is a little odd. Don’t be afraid to be ridiculous, look a little uncool, and even let out an aaah now and then.
Have you had a woohoo lately? Have you got one on your list? Or maybe in your garage? Put on some Rollerblades, buy a surfboard, get out your sled. Order something new off the menu. Take a different road. Find the woohoo; then carry it with you into your ordinary world and let it lighten your spirit.
Woohoos are the moments we’ll remember all our lives.
God, help me lighten my spirit by putting a little woohoo into my daily life.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
Do I waste my time and energy wrestling with situations that aren’t actually worth a second thought? Like Don Quixote, the bemused hero of Spanish literature, do I imagine windmills as menacing giants, battling them until I am ready to drop from exhaustion? Today, I’ll not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I’ll try to see each situation clearly, giving it only the value and attention it deserves. Have I come to believe, as the seecond of the Twelve Steps suggest, that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity?
Today I Pray
God, keep my perspective sane. Help me to avoid aggrandizing petty problems, trying to much significance to casual conversations,making a Vesuvius out of an anthill. Keep my fears from swelling out of scale, like shadows on a wall. Restore my values, which became distorted during thee days of my chemical invollvement.
Today I Will Remember
Sanity is perspective.
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One More Day
I will not keep myself from taking positive action. – K. O’Brien
The inability to get going can sometimes plague us. Muscles that don’t work properly or joints that won’t bend can keep us from beginning the day as we once did, even if we have excellent intentions.
Excellent intentions only, however, get us nowhere unless we act upon them. What we need is that extra measure of strength, drawn from some inner resource that we hold in store only for days such as these. Often those sources spring from our intense belief that we will make it through these difficult times. Gradually we recognize that our actions and reactions are becoming more positive.
I try to reach a little bit further for the strength I need to fulfill my good intentions.
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Food For Thought
Serenity
Serenity comes when we are tuned in to our Higher Power. Serenity enables us to take external circumstances in stride, even the most difficult ones. Serenity is a gift, which we are each free to receive daily.
Turning our will and our lives over to God, as we understand Him encourages serenity. Staying in contact with our Higher Power as we go about our daily activities produces serenity. Practicing abstinence from compulsive overeating maintains serenity.
In meeting after meeting, we hear people testify to the change that has come over them since they began the OA program. Circumstances which once would have sent them into a tailspin and into the refrigerator are now manageable. By the grace of God, they have been granted the serenity to accept the things they cannot change.
May I grow in serenity.
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One Day At A Time
~ PROGRESS ~
" ... I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy."
Marie Curie
I have always been the queen of quick fix, so if I wanted something to happen, it had to happen today if not yesterday. So coming into the program was very hard for me, in that for the first time I have had to realise that recovery is not an overnight thing. For a perfectionist like me, that has been a very hard lesson to learn, in that I don't have to have perfect recovery. My journey in this program has been an up and down one, with many slips along the way, and everytime I have slipped, I have had to remember that I may think I'm a failure, but I'm only a failure if I fail to pick myself up. In the past if I made a mistake, I was a total and utter failure, but I know now that all I have to do each time is to pick myself up, dust myself off and start over.
The other thing I've learned in the program is that I also always need to remember where I came from, and when I look back, I can see the progress I have made. My self esteem is growing, and even though I still seem to slip back into the old character defects from time to time, they are nowhere near as bad as in the past. I am able to forgive people whom I thought I would never be able to forgive, and I make amends whenever the need arises, and as a result my relationships with people have improved dramatically.
One Day at a Time . . .
May I remember that in this program, it is always progress and not perfection that counts.
~ Sharon ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
If a repetition is to be prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God's hands. - Pg. 120 - To Wives
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
One of the games our mind plays with us during withdrawal is to suggest that if we were addicted to one chemical, that was our problem and maybe we could use another type of chemical to help us. But switching chemicals will insure that we never get well, because the disease is not a chemical--it is a dysfunction to any mind-affecting chemical.
If I learn nothing else this hour, help me understand that the disease is not a drug but a reaction to drugs.
Gifts
Today I will be thankful for the many gifts that are mine. Life is a gift. Health is a gift. Love is a gift. Friends and family are gifts. If I take the time to say thank you, I have so many things to be thankful for. When I learn to say thank you, to give praise and gratitude, my life immediately feels more full.
I embrace the gifts that surround me
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
We often hear 'turn it over.' This means turn over problems not under our control right now--whether they are with family, friends, work, or the law--we offer the things we cannot change to a Higher Power and LET GO.
If I turn it over and don't let go, I'll be upside down!
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Put one foot in front of the other.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
It is exciting to know that I have all the strength I need today to do what is good and right in my life.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. - Judy Garland.
bluidkiti
02-14-2024, 07:23 AM
February 22
Daily Reflections
GUIDANCE
... this means a belief in a Creator who is all power,
justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose,
a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however... haltingly,
toward His own likeness and image.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51
As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my
dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see
that there was a life which, if I could have it, I
would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is
through the continuous work of the Steps and the life
in the Fellowship that I've learned to see that there
is truly a better way into which I am being guided.
As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust
His ways and His plans for the development of His
character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow
toward His image and likeness.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Now we can take an inventory of the good things that have
come to us through A.A. To begin with, we're sober today.
That's the biggest asset on any alcoholic's books.
Sobriety to us is like good-will in business. Everything
else depends on that. Most of us have jobs, which we owe
to our sobriety. We know we couldn't hold these jobs if
we were drinking, so our jobs depend on our sobriety.
Most of us have families, wives and children, which either
we had lost or might have lost, if we hadn't stopped
drinking. We have friends in A.A., real friends who are
always ready to help us. Do I realize that my job, my family
and my real friends are dependent upon my sobriety?
Meditation For The Day
I must trust God to the best of my ability. This lesson
has to be learned. My doubts and fears continually drive
me back into the wilderness. Doubts lead me astray, because
I am not trusting God. I must trust God's love. It will
never fail me, but I must learn not to fail it by my doubts
and fears. We all have much to learn in turning out fear by
faith. All our doubts arrest God's work through us. I must
not doubt. I must believe in God and continually work at
strengthening my faith.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may live the way God wants me to live. I pray
that I may get into that stream of goodness in the world.
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As Bill Sees It
"Loners"--but Not Alone, p. 53
What can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons,
cannot have a family life? At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and
left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them. If
they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them
satisfactions of similar worth and durability?
Yes-- whenever they try hard to seek out these satisfactions.
Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, the so-called loners tell us they
no longer feel alone. In partnership with others--women and
men--they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and
constructive projects. They can participate in enterprises which would
be denied to family men and women. We daily see such members
render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return.
12 & 12, p. 120
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Walk In Dry Places
Staying on course___Power in purpose
When riding in an airplane on automatic pilot, I marvel at the way the aircraft stays on course even while bouncing and shaking through pockets of turbulence. Even more significant is the pilot's calm indifference to these minor movements as he checks occasionally to make sure the plane continues on the right course.
Many things that happen to us each day are no more important than the routine turbulence and aircraft encounters. But as sick, compulsive people, we sometimes view every disturbance as a terrible storm and become panicky or enraged over things that are of little consequence in the long run. "I could accept a major calamity, but a broken fingernail ruined my day," one speaker said at an AA meeting.
We can set our lives on "automatic pilot" by choosing continuing recovery as our major goal and letting all things fall in line with that. The turbulence of ordinary living cannot deflect us from our true course if we calmly accept it as natural, unavoidable, and non-threatening. Even if a real storm blows up and gives us anxious moments, we can stay on the recovery course we have chosen.
Disappointments and annoyances are part of the human condition. I will be cheerful and optimistic today even if I am bounced around a bit. There is within me an automatic pilot, through which my Higher Power leads me to continued recovery and true fulfillment as a person.
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Keep It Simple
To thine own self be true.--AA medallions
Sometimes we hear that we have a "selfish program." Being "selfish" means that we ask for help when we need it. We only go to places that are safe for us, no matter what others are doing. Being selfish comes to mean safety for us.
Being selfish doesn't mean we act like brats. We must act in ways that show respect and love---for ourselves and for others. being selfish means we do what is good for us. What is good for us? First, we have to save our lives by stopping our drinking and drugging. Next, we start working the Steps. We come to know a loving Higher Power. This is how we come to know our true self.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be true to myself and my values. Help me be "selfish" about spending time to talk with You each day.
Action for the Day: I'll list ten ways I need to be "selfish" in recovery. If I get stuck, I'll be "selfish" and ask for help.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind. --Helen Keller
Facing conditions we would like to change, letting go of people we wish were different, takes growth, patience, tolerance. We're so easily enticed into thinking we'd be happier, "If only he'd change," or "If I had a better job," or "If the kids would settle down." Yet we carry the seed of happiness within us every moment. Learning tolerance for all conditions will nurture that seed.
Intolerance, impatience, depression, in fact, any negative attitude is habit-forming. Many of us in this recovery program continue to struggle with the habits we've formed. Bad habits must be replaced with new, good habits. We can develop a new behavior, one that pleases us, like smiling at every stranger in a checkout line. We can repeat it in every line. It becomes a habit and a good one.
Toleration of others opens many doors, for them and for us. It nurtures the soul, ours and theirs. It breeds happiness. Those of us sharing these Steps are truly blessed. We're learning about love, how to give it and how to receive it.
There are so many eyes I'll look into today that don't know love. I will give some away with unconditional tolerance. It's a gift--to myself and others.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more.
p. 95
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
Around this time our big A.A. book was being written and it all became much simpler; we had a definite formula which some sixty of us agreed was the middle course for all alcoholics who wanted sobriety, and that formula has not been changed one iota down through the years. I don't think the boys were completely convinced of my personality change, for they fought shy of including my story in the book, so my only contribution to their literary efforts was my firm conviction, being still a theological rebel, that the word God should be qualified with the phrase "as we understand him"--for that was the only way I could accept spirituality.
p. 229
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
When listing the people we have harmed, most of us hit another solid obstacle. We got a pretty severe shock when we realized that we were preparing to make a face-to-face admission of our wretched conduct to those we had hurt. It had been embarrassing enough when in confidence we had admitted these things to God, to ourselves, and to another human being. But the prospect of actually visiting or even writing the people concerned now overwhelmed us, especially when we remembered in what poor favor we stood with most of them. There were cases, too, where we had damaged others who were still happily unaware of being hurt. Why, we cried, shouldn't bygones be bygones? Why do we have to think of these people at all? These were some of the ways in which fear conspired with pride to hinder our making a list of all the people we had harmed.
pp. 78-79
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If you find a flaw in someone else it means that you first found the flaw in yourself, otherwise you would not have recognized it.
Forgiveness is the way to true health and happiness. By not judging, we release the past and let go of our fears of the future. In so doing, we come to see that everyone is our teacher and that every circumstance is an opportunity for growth in happiness, peace and love. --Gerald G. Jampolsky
Whoever makes no mistakes is doing nothing. --Dutch Proverb
Today, I will take time to smell the flowers.
Joy isn't the absence of pain - it's the presence of God.
Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. --Dorothy Galyean
Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey! --Barbara Hoffman
God is making something wondrous of my life. --Anita J. McIntosh
God calls us in the small choices of each day. --John Covington
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
PATRIOTISM
"For us, patriotism is the same
as the love of humanity."
-- Mohandas Gandhi
Today I am on the side of mankind. I am convinced that my welfare is
generated by the peace and stability of the world. The love and joy
that produces spiritual growth stems from my relationships in the
world: we cannot exist alone.
Today I strive to bring the world and people together; we must not
seek to be the same but rather rejoice in the richness of difference.
Drugs always divide, separate and isolate; spirituality unites. Today I
am an optimist for mankind because of what has happened in my own
life.
Thank You for a humanity that can be shared.
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Let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance. Proverbs 1 : 5
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." Psalm 62:5
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait on the Lord. Psalm 31:24
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Daily Inspiration
When you need to feel better about yourself, do something nice for someone else. Lord, help that I may make someone's day a little happier.
To have courage, think courageous, act courageous, and pray to God for courage. Lord, You are full of love for all who come to You.
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NA Just For Today
God's Will, Or Mine?
"We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
Step Ten
In Narcotics Anonymous, we've found that the more we live in harmony with our Higher Power's will for us, the greater
the harmony in our lives. We use the Tenth Step to help us maintain that harmony. On a daily basis, we take time to
look at our behavior. Some of us measure each action with a very simple question: "God's will, or mine?"
In many cases, we find that our actions have been in tune with our Higher Power's will for us, and we in turn have
been in tune with the world around us. In some cases, however, we will discover inconsistencies between our
behavior and our values. We've been acting on our own will, not God's, and the result has been dissonance in our
lives.
When we discover such inconsistencies, we admit we've been wrong and take corrective action. With greater
awareness of what we believe God's will for us to be in such situations, we are less likely to repeat those actions. And
we are more likely to live in greater concord with our Higher Power's will for us and with the world around us.
Just for today: I wish to live in harmony with my world. Today, I will examine my actions, asking, "God's will, or mine?"
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. --Anne Frank
In the face of being hunted for extermination, Anne Frank could write this from her hiding place in an attic. Was she
naive? No. She deeply believed in the goodness of creation and the goodness of all creatures, including those who
persecuted and murdered her people.
Somehow, young as she was, Anne Frank knew a truth we sometimes lose: that it is not what people do that makes
them good or evil. It is who they are. And for Anne Frank, all people are made in the image of God--and therefore, deep
down at their core, must be good. She was able to see through the brutality and hatred to that true creation of God.
We are left in awe at such faith and love. But we can draw from it too, and when our brother or sister or parent or child
does something to hurt us, we can remember Anne Frank's ability to see what is good. We can look beneath the
hurtful actions and forgive.
Can I forgive someone who has hurt me today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. --Seneca
When we reach a stressful time in our lives, our vision gets narrow. We fail to see the options and possibilities we
have. If we give ourselves over to our worries and fears, our sight closes down even further. Finally, we reach the
point of blindness to reality and to all the support around us. In our fearful blindness we say with conviction, "This is too
difficult! There is nothing I can do."
The spiritual man strives to keep one eye on the horizon, even in a worrisome situation. He breaths deeply so he does
not tighten up or closes off his exchange with the world. He returns to the relationship he has with his Higher Power,
trusting the process to carry him through, and he opens his eyes to quietly take in the possibilities before him.
Close to my Higher Power, I have a place of calm in the midst of difficulty and see the possibilities and dare to act
upon them.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Solving Problems
I ask that You might help me work through all my problems, to Your Glory and Honor.' --Alcoholics Anonymous
Many of us lived in situations where it wasn't okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life
our way of dealing with problems
In recovery, many of us still fear problems. We may spend more time reacting to a problem than we do to solving it.
We miss the point; we miss the lesson; we miss the gift Problems are a part of life. So are solutions
A problem doesn't mean life is negative or horrible. Having a problem doesn't mean a person is deficient. All people
have problems to work through.
In recovery, we learn to focus on solving our problems. First, we make certain the problem is our problem. If it isn't,
our problem is establishing boundaries. Then we seek the best solution. This may mean setting a goal, asking for
help, gathering more information, taking an action, or letting go.
Recovery does not mean immunity or exemption from problems; recovery means learning to face and solve
problems, knowing they will appear regularly. We can trust our ability to solve problems, and know we're not doing it
alone. Having problems does not mean our Higher Power is picking on us. Some problems are part of life; others are
ours to solve, and we'll grow in necessary ways in the process.
Face and solve today's problems. Don't worry needlessly about tomorrow's problems, because when they appeal,
well have the resources necessary to solve them.
Facing and solving problems working through problems with help from a Higher Power means we're living and
growing and reaping benefits.
God, help me face and solve my problems today. Help me do my part and let the rest go. I can learn to be a problem
solver.
God is guiding me on my path to self-sufficiency and independence today. As I become willing to let go of my feelings
of inferiority and weakness, my Higher Power gives me all the strength that I need for all that comes up for me today.
--Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Magic Is in the Air
I left Washington’s Hob Rain Forest, pausing near the moss-covered trees. My walk through Moses Park had indeed
been a trip to an enchanted forest.
Centuries-old trees, trees covered with mossy hair, shared their stories with me. Felled trees lying on their backs
beckoned me to touch, to sit, to rest a while. Sunlight glistened through the entangled underbrush. The air smelled of
nature’s sawdust. The ground was warm, moist. Nature sprites danced and played along the path. The birds
serenaded me with calls, whistles, and songs, like sounds emanating from a flute. Magic was in the air.
We can visit places that are magical to us, enchanted forests that remind us of life’s wonders. We can visit them
knowing that when we leave, we take their magic with us.
We’ll see more and more of life’s wonders in ourselves, in others, in the world we live in. People will appear in our
lives at just the right time, saying the very words we need to hear. A book will speak to us. A new way to earn money
will be revealed. A loved one may leave to follow his or her own path, and a new love will come into our lives. Old
issues will be resolved. Healers will show up on our path. Ideas will come to us, seemingly out of the blue. They’re
gifts from the universe. We can have them whenever we want and wherever we go.
Come with me to the enchanted forest. Trust the magic in the air; it is real. Take it with you wherever you go, for the
magic you feel and want is yours if you simply believe.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Stop throwing that blame around
“There are two kinds of people in the world,” a friend explained to me one day. “There are the ones who blame other
people for everything that happens. And there are the ones who blame themselves.”
Have you ever watched a movie where one of the actors used a flamethrower? In a movie I watched one day, they
called this instead a “blame thrower.” It’s a lit torch of fiery rage that we throw at either others or ourselves when
situations don’t work out the way we planned.
Blaming can be a healthy stage of grieving or letting go. But staying too long in this stage can be unproductive. It can
keep us from taking constructive action. Blaming ourselves too long can turn into self-contempt; blaming others can
keep us heavy and dark with resentments, and fuel the victim within.
If you’re going through a loss, or if life has twisted on you, pick up your blame thrower– in the privacy of your own
journal. Give yourself ten or twenty minutes to blame without censorship. Get it out. Write out everything you want to
say, whether you’re throwing blame at someone else or at yourself.
It may take longer if the loss is larger, but the point is to give yourself a limited amount of time for a blame-throwing
session, then cease fire. Stop. Move on to the next stage in living, which is letting go, accepting, and taking
responsibility for yourself.
God, help me search myself to see if I’m holding on to blame for myself or someone else. If I am, help me get it out in
the open, then help me let it go.
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
When I came to The Program, I found people who knew exactly what I meant when I spoke finally of my fears. They
had been where I had been; they understood. I’ve since learned that many of my fears have to do with projection. It’s
normal, for example, to have a tiny “back-burner” fear that the person I love will leave me. But when the fear takes
precedence over my present and very real relationship with the person I’m afraid of losing, then I’m in trouble. My
responsibility to myself includes this: I must not fear things which do not exist. Am I changing from a fearful person into
a fearless person?
Today I Pray
I ask God’s help in waving away my fears — those figments, fantasies, monstrous thoughts, projections of disaster
which have no bearing on the present. May I narrow the focus of my imagination and concentrate on the here-and-
now, for I tend to see the future through a magnifying glass.
Today I Will Remember
Projected fears, like shadows, are larger than life.
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One More Day
The soul would have no rainbow
Had the eyes no tears.
– John Vance Cheney
That familiar tightening in the throat, the welling of tears behind the eyes, and deep emotional pain are all signs of an
intense need to cry. Why do we try so hard to be “brave little soldiers” and not cry when our bodies are screaming for
release?
If we hide behind false smiles and continue to keep the well of emotion untapped, eventually that well will go dry.
Deprived of this natural outlet, our minds and bodies exhaust themselves as they battle tension and stress. We lose
our ability to express ourselves emotionally. There may be no more opportunity for tears. Tears cleanse and allow
other emotions to move in and take over until we need to cry again.
Crying releases me and gives me the freedom to experience my full range of feelings.
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Food For Thought
Spirituality
Ours is a program for living spiritually as well as physically. We have found that without daily spiritual nourishment we feel an emptiness, which no amount of material things can fill. We have also found that when we were overeating and were physically glutted, we were less receptive to spiritual food.
In Step Eleven, we seek to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him. We do this through daily prayer and meditation. Our contact with our Higher Power is most effective and satisfying when we are carrying out the physical part of the program by maintaining abstinence.
When we came into OA, most of us wanted to eat less in order to lose weight. As we grow through the Twelve Steps, we gradually learn that eating less physical food enables us to make more spiritual progress. The rewards of working the OA program are far greater than we had imagined! The spiritual food, which we receive from our Higher Power, begins to satisfy the emptiness which we had foolishly tried to fill with excess calories. Not only do we maintain abstinence in order to control our weight, but we also maintain it in order to grow in spirituality.
May I remember to seek spiritual food.
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One Day At A Time
~ CHILDLIKE ~
Anxiety is the rust of life,
destroying its brightness and weakening its power.
A childlike and abiding trust in Providence
is its best preventive and remedy.
Tyron Edwards
Like so many of us in OA, I grew up as a little adult. My parents didn't know better - treating me like an adult seemed a good way to them of both showing love to me and making their difficult post-war life easier. Providence was something that intervened once in a while, and in ways that were weighty and important. God was there - but God had to attend to serious matters.
There was little room in God's and my parents' life for the seemingly unimportant details of a child's world. I had no trouble internalizing that message. I learned very soon that no-one was going to take care of my "little" problems and anxieties, that I had to shove them out of the way, and that I could do that very well by daydreaming, by making sure I was the little adult my parents were so proud of - and by eating.
The trouble was that there were times when these coping mechanisms didn't work seamlessly and those anxieties would break through. Panic attacks were the result, and dogged attempts to do more of the insanity: more retreating from the world, more "adult" behaviour, more eating.
One of the things I'm learning in recovery is that paradoxically, in order to really grow up, I need to risk the vulnerability of being more childlike. I need to learn that my Higher Power is not too busy worrying about world peace to listen and deeply care about my little booboos. I need to, I WANT to develop an abiding trust that I am safe with and cared for by my Higher Power, like a baby in a mother's arms.
One day at a time ... I let go of the rust of anxiety so that like a child, I may marvel at and participate in the brightness and wonder of God's world.
~ Isabella ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. - Pg. 102 - Working With Others
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
It has been said that there are only two times you have to diligently work this program, the first 30 days and every day after that! Actually if you think about it, that only means one day, today.
Help me work this program to the best of my ability today.
Opening to the New
Today I will be open to what life offers to me. The world comes to greet me like an old friend each morning. My daily habits comfort and ground me. The thought of moving into my day pleases me. Life unfolds one second at a time and today I will be present to witness it. How much of my life do I let pass by unnoticed? How many of my feelings go unfelt? Today I will recognize that my time on Earth is limited. I choose to value my life a day at a time and embrace it while I have it.
I am open to life
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
'You should not be esteemed by others if you have no real inner virtue.' -Dogen, The Pocket Zen Reader You get esteem by doing something esteeming.
I never have to worry about low self-esteem when I do esteeming things.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Character is how we act when we think no one is watching.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
God is guiding me on my path to self-sufficiency and independence today. As I become willing to let go of my feelings of inferiority and weakness, my Higher Power gives me all the strength that I need for all that comes up for me today.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Wondering why I was an alcoholic was like being a man standing on a bridge, looking down at a gently flowing stream beneath. But my pants are on fire. And I'm saying: 'I wonder how these pants got on fire, was it hereditary or environmental?' Who cares. You jump in the water. - Doug D.
bluidkiti
02-14-2024, 07:24 AM
February 23
Daily Reflections
MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES
Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength
arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss
of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one.
A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46
What glorious mysteries paradoxes are! They do not
compute, yet when recognized and accepted, they reaffirm
something in the universe beyond human logic. When I
face a fear, I am given courage; when I support a
brother or sister, my capacity to love myself is
increased; when I accept a pain as part of the growing
experience of life, I realize a greater happiness; when
I look at my dark side, I am brought into new light;
when I accept my vulnerabilities and surrender to a
Higher Power, I am graced with unforeseen strength.
I stumbled through the doors of A.A. in disgrace,
expecting nothing from life, and I have been given
hope and dignity. Miraculously, the only way to keep
the gifts of the program is to pass them on.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Besides our jobs, our families, our friends and our
sobriety, we have something else which many of us found
through A.A. That's faith in a Power greater than
ourselves, to which we can turn for help: faith in that
Divine Principle in the universe which we call God and
which is on our side as long as we do the right thing.
There have been many days in the past when, if we
had taken an inventory, we'd have found ourselves very
much in the red, without sobriety and therefore without
jobs, families, friends or faith in God. We now have
these things because we're sober. Do I make one
resolution every day of my life--to stay sober?
Meditation For The Day
Love the busy life. It is a joy-filled life. Take your
fill of joy in the Spring. Live outdoors whenever
possible. Sun and air are nature's great healing forces.
That inward joy changes poisoned blood into pure,
healthy, life-giving flow. But never forget that the
real healing of the spirit comes from within, from the
close, loving contact of your spirit with God's spirit.
Keep in close communion with God's spirit day by day.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may learn to live the abundant life.
I pray that I may enjoy a close contact with God this
day and be glad in it.
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As Bill Sees It
To Deepen Our Insight, p. 54
It is necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal
relations every bit of information about ourselves and our
fundamental difficulties that we can. Since defective relations with
other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of
our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could
yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one.
Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations can deepen our
insight. We can go far beyond those things which were superficially
wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which
sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives.
Thoroughness, we have found, will pay--and pay handsomely.
12 & 12, p. 80
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Walk In Dry Places
We always have choices
Decision Making
Self-pity is often rooted in the strong feeling that people or conditions have victimized us. "I never had a chance" and "You deceived me!" are common complaints that reveal self-pity.
It is astonishing and humbling to learn that we always have choices, even when other people or bad conditions are grinding us down. One of the great discoveries of the Twelve Step movement is that alcoholics could begin to recover no matter how helpless they had become, no matter how far they had slid into defeat and despair. Once a decision was made to seek sobriety as a primary goal, other choices and decisions became possible.
We choose our attitudes and responses. We have neither the power nor the right to control others, but we can choose to soften our attitudes toward them, and we can forgive and release people we don't like.
We can always choose how we want to think and feel. It may take effort to break the habit of feeling victimized and sorry for ourselves, but our higher power will show us the way if we decide that is what we really want.
Nobody can ruffle my feathers today or make me feel oppressed and victimized. I can always make choices that will enhance my sobriety and place me on a better footing for the days ahead.
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Keep It Simple
Hitch your wagon to a star.---Ralph Waldo Emerson
Millions of people are sober and have peace of mind through the Twelve Steps. Like the stars, the Steps are always there. At times, clouds block our view of the stars, but we know they are still there. Let's view the Twelve Steps the same way.
It is said that the stars are the gate to heaven, that we pass through their beauty to get ready to enter heaven. The Twelve Steps are the gate to spirituality here on earth. We travel through their beauty on our way to a spiritual awakening. Hitch your wagon to the Steps, and get ready for the ride of a lifetime.
Prayer for the Day: I pray to remember that the Steps keep me sober. I pray that I will follow where the Steps take me.
Action For the Day: I'll look at the stars tonight. I'll think of them as symbols of my life touched by the Twelve Steps.
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Each Day a New Beginning
I want to dance always, to be good and not evil, and when it is all over not to have the feeling that I might have done better.
--Ruth St. Denis
Our wants in life may be simple, or they may be complex. They may yet be confused in our minds, but the clarity will come if we're patient. God has a way of giving us an "inner tug" when a certain direction beckons. Our responsibility is to follow that tug and trust it, fully. Too often we look back on our lives with regret. What is done, is done. We learned lessons from those mistakes. Every day is a new beginning. And we can close every day with no regrets when we have followed our consciences, that "inner tug" that beckons.
The opportunities will come today. Opportunities to be good or evil. Opportunities for making choices over which we will feel good or full of regret at the day's close. Many of our choices will bring us closer to the satisfaction, the contentment with life, that we all search for as women, as human beings. We need not fear coming to life's close, wishing we had done more or better. Living each day in good conscience, waiting for the tug and following it, will ensure a life well lived.
My ego can block out the tug, if I let it. Or I can trust.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read this book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within.
p. 95
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
After the book appeared, we all became very busy in our efforts to save all and sundry, but I was still actually on the fringes of A.A. While I went along with all that was done and attended the meetings, I never took an active job of leadership until February 1940. Then I got a very good position in philadelphia and quickly found i would need a few fellow alcoholics around me if I was to stay sober. Thus I found myself in the middle of a brand new group. When I started to tell the boys how we did it in New York and all about the spiritual part of the program, I found they would not believe me unless I was practicing what I preached. Then I found that as I gave in to this spiritual or personality change I was getting a little more serenity. In telling newcomers how to change their lives and attitudes, all of a sudden I found I was doing a little changing myself. I had been too self-sufficient to write a moral inventory, but I discovered in pointing out to the new man his wrong attitudes and actions that I was really taking my own inventory, and that if I expected him to change I would have to work on myself too. This change has been a long, slow process for me, but through these latter years the dividends have been tremendous.
pp. 229-230
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn't suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn't suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations hadn't suffered, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man's fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies.
p. 79
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The Seven "T's" ...
Take Time To Think The Thing Through.
In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. --Anne Frank
So, don't take for granted just what you see. Look under the mask, that's where the real person will be. --author unknown
God is present in all things, even those events and circumstances that seem terrible. Within any circumstance is the seed that can bear the fruit of the greater good, if we are willing to ask God to lead us in bringing forth that good. --Mary Manin Morrissey
Laughter is the sound of recovery.
"It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off! You cannot make progress without making decisions." --Jim Rohn
"You can accomplish virtually anything if you want it badly enough and if you are willing to work long enough and hard enough." --Brian Tracy
"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination." --Tommy Lasorda
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
THOUGHT
"I was a free-thinker before I
knew how to think."
-- George Bernard Shaw
All of us are influenced by somebody. Not to be influenced is to
remain an ignorant person. Most of us hinder our thinking,
particularly around spiritual things, because of pride. We don't like
change. We find it hard to accept attitudes and opinions that differ
from our own. Pride keeps us deaf and often stupid. However, the
daily program of a lived spirituality encourages a variety of opinions
and attitudes. We can learn from different customs, lifestyles and
religions. We can be helped in our understanding of life by the
stranger.
I know that I do not have all the answers. Perhaps you carry my
answers. Today I am prepared to listen to you.
God, the sustainer of all religions and philosophies, help us to
discover You in our differences.
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It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
"But he said, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God.'" Luke 18:27
Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2
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Daily Inspiration
There is no better time than right now to do what we have been putting off. Lord, grant me motivation and focus that I may live so as to have no regrets about what I should have done.
If you feel the need to get even, try getting even with those that have helped you. Lord, free me from any thoughts of revenge because this only shuts the door to my own happiness.
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NA Just For Today
Messages And Messengers
"Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."
Tradition Twelve
The Twelfth Tradition reminds us of the importance of putting "principles before personalities." In recovery meetings,
this might be paraphrased, "don't shoot the messenger!" We often get the message confused with the messenger,
and negate what someone shares at a meeting because we have personality conflicts with the person speaking.
If we are having problems with what certain people have to share at meetings, we might want to seek the guidance of
our sponsor. Our sponsor can help us concentrate on what's being said rather than who's saying it. Our sponsor can
also help us address the resentments that may be keeping us from acknowledging the value of some particular
person's recovery experience. It is surprising how much more we can get out of meetings when we allow ourselves to
do as our Twelfth Tradition suggests, focusing on recovery principles rather than personalities.
Just for today: I will practice the principle of anonymity in today's NA meeting. I will focus on the message of recovery,
not the personality of the messenger.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A person's best ally is someone who takes care of herself. --Susan Clarke
Once there was a little girl who was learning to walk. The trouble was, her mother wouldn't let her fall down. Every
time she was about to fall, her mother would rush over and catch her.
It was hard to learn how to walk if she couldn't fall down, but the girl was too little to be able to tell her mother. Her
mother thought she was taking care of her when in fact she was keeping her from learning to take care of herself.
Letting her fall would have shown trust in the child, trust that she could get up. It would have taught her that she wasn't
so fragile that she couldn't recover if she hurt herself.
We are all like this mother once in a while, protecting one another from important lessons in life. This doesn't mean
we have to let someone get seriously hurt, but that we allow each other the freedom to learn and grow in individual
ways.
What will I be able to learn from my little stumbles today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green. --Francis Bacon
Where do we direct our energy? Are we spending time and thought on how we have been wronged? On the
unfairness of life? Those who consume their resources in this way have few left for growth and development. Their
wounds stay open for years, and they block the healing.
What will we need to set aside our resentments and hateful attitudes? Perhaps we have been passively waiting for the
other guy to make amends. That only puts our enemies in charge of us. It would be better if we could say; "I am going
to move on. The change that is needed for me to heal will come from within me. I will not put my happiness in
another's hands." More than revenge, we want a life worth living - for ourselves and the ones we love. We can give our
energies to that.
Lift from me the desire for revenge. Replace it with the fullness of a healed life.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Strength
We don't always have to be strong to be strong. Sometimes, our strength is expressed in being vulnerable.
Sometimes, we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track.
We all have days when we cannot push any harder, cannot hold back self doubt, cannot stop focusing on fear, cannot
be strong.
There are days when we cannot focus on being responsible. Occasionally we don't want to get out of our pajamas.
Sometimes, we cry in front of people. We expose our tiredness, irritability, or anger.
Those days are okay. They are just okay.
Part of taking care of ourselves means we give ourselves permission to "fall apart" when we need to. We do not have
to be perpetual towers of strength. We are strong. We have proven that. Our strength will continue if we allow
ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable when we need to experience those feelings.
Today, God, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself
when I need to "fall apart."
Today I have the courage to own my own unhappiness, daring to look within to discover its source. Today I treat
myself as a friend, with gentleness and acceptance. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Let Power Come Gently
Let your powers emerge gradually, gently.
Go gently on your path and look around. See what you have learned to define as power. See with the eyes of your
heart.
You used to think you were powerful when you resisted your emotions, when you held back and didn’t express
yourself. You thought power came from being who you thought you should be, instead of who you are. Now you have
learned that only when you are who you really are, can true power emerge.
The powers you’ve discovered are many. Your power to be decent, loving, and kind. Your power to heal, to be gentle,
to comfort others. Your power to see and know the truth, and at times to see more than you can see with your eyes.
Your power to take your place in the dance of universal love, and let the universe dance for you.
These powers have been gifts. You’ve seen them. You understand them. You know they’re real. The choice to
embrace and use them is yours.
******************************************
More Language Of Letting Go
Learn to fly
Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
–Erica Jong
There is always someone else to take the fall if our plans don’t work out: “I would have been more successful, but the
economy was slow this year.” “Well, that sounds nice, but my therapist says that I should avoid too much stress.” “I
wanted to do that, but my husband didn’t like the idea.”
What a frightening prospect it is to take your life into your own hands, to decide whether or not you will accept full
responsibility for all of your actions and choices.
What an amazing– and sometimes terrifying– freedom complete responsibility for your actions brings! Sometimes we
make mistakes. Sometimes we stumble and fall. But oh, the feeling when you finally get it right, when you decide to
take that step and it works! That’s when you discover that those fragile butterfly wings on your back are not there just
for ornamentation. You can fly!
Take charge of your life. Take responsibility for your actions. Ultimately no one chooses what you will do but you,
anyway. Enjoy the freedom. You’ve had it all along.
God, help me take complete responsibility for my own actions. Give me the guidance and power, to steer my own
course according to the dictates of my heart and my conscience.
******************************************
A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
The Twelve Steps teach us that as faith grows, so does security. The terrifying fear of nothingness begins to subside.
As we work The Program, we find that the basic antidote for fear is a spiritual awakening. We lose the fear of making
decisions, for we realize that if our choice proves wrong, we can learn from the experience. and should our decision
be the right one, we can thank God for giving us the courage and the grace that caused us so to act. Am I grateful for
the courage and grace I receive from my Higher Power?
Today I Pray
I ask that I be given the power to act knowing that I have at least a half-chance to make the right decision and that I can
learn from a wrong one. for so long, decision-making seemed beyond my capabilities. Now, I can find joy in being able
to make choices. Thank you, God, for courage.
Today I Will Remember
Freedom is choosing.
******************************************
One More Day
Who can separate his faith from his actions, or his belief from his occupations?
– Kahil Gibran
We may, at times, represent ourselves in an untrue fashion. This may happen when we are trying to impress
someone who doesn’t know us well. We may unconsciously try to imitate another person. Yet in doing so we are not
being faithful to the gift of our own uniqueness.
Our need to “prove ourselves” diminished only when self-esteem and self-awareness blossom. As we become more
secure, we begin to honestly express ourselves and our faith. We no longer need heroes to worship; we can instead
honor the gift of life.
I find comfort in the honest expression of my beliefs and feelings.
************************************
Food For Thought
Dependency
In the past, we used excess food as a crutch, and we developed a false dependency on it. We turned to unnecessary food to calm us down, to cheer us up, and to avoid facing our problems. As a cure-all, food let us down. Rather than solving our problems, overeating multiplied them.
As human beings, there are many times when we are weak and dependent. If we say we can go it alone, we are whistling in the dark and deluding ourselves. We need to rely on a Power greater than ourselves, but food is not that Power. What we need to find is the Power strong enough to sustain our dependency.
Accepting the fact that we are dependent, that we cannot manage our lives by ourselves--this is the beginning of recovery. We need to be humble, open, and willing to be led by those who have replaced their false dependency on food with a healthy dependency on God.
Lord, may I not be too proud to be dependent on You.
*****************************************
One Day At A Time
HUMILITY
To the humble man, and to the humble man alone,
the sun is really a sun;
to the humble man, and to the humble man alone,
the sea is really a sea.
G.K. Chesterton
Before I started recovery, lack of clarity was all around me and within me. There was too much fear. I was unable to acknowledge: This is who I am, and this is what's going on, no more, and no less. I was afraid to name my husband's abusive behaviour. I was afraid to name my complicity in it. I was afraid to name who I was and what I wanted and needed, and I was afraid to name the behaviour of those around me who wanted me to fit into their mould. My husband was scared silly that one day the world would find out that we weren't the perfect family.
So I was not humble. I kept nurturing the fog that covered what was really going on. And boy, was I good at it. I kind of had an inkling that something wasn't right, so, semi-consciously, I made sure that my denial was watertight. I knew that if we pretended that we were a 100% perfect family, there might be suspicions. So I made sure I'd slip in a little problem here and there.
At one point, luckily, I allowed the bubble to burst. I started naming things, loud and clear. I named them to the police, I named them to my friends and family, I named them in my poetry. I started playing with another 12-step program.
But it took me another twelve years to name that I was an overeater. In those years I gained another 70 pounds (with some yoyo dieting thrown in, of course). Humbly admitting that, yes, really, I was an overeater, was the best thing I've done since ridding my family of my abusive spouse. I humbly admitted that I had been abusing myself with my eating behaviours. Now I can see clearly. (I can also see more clearly how wounded my ex spouse is, making it easier for me to work on forgiving him).
One day at a time ... I accept the gift of humility. I am not afraid anymore to look reality in the eye - and what I see is as right as the sun and the sea.
~ I.M.
*****************************************
AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. - Pg. 100 - Working With Others
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Self will and 'running the show' can be like the monkey who sticks his hand into the trap for food. He grasps the food tightly creating a fist that won't fit out the trap door. The monkey struggles but won't release the food and he is trapped. Simply letting go would free him. Holding tight to your will and your way can be the fist that traps you. Let Go and Let God.
I let go of my tight grip by not insisting everything be my way. I say, 'Let Go and Let God' often to remind myself I don't want to be trapped. What a relief.
The Healing Universe
Everywhere I look life is in a process of healing from something. A plant that has been stepped on fights to come back to life. A tree that has lost branches sprouts new growth. An animal that has lost a leg learns to run on three. Life is always reaching for life. It's an unbroken circle. Like a lover reaching for their beloved , or a child holding onto his mother until the pain passes. Life is programmed to heal itself and it will strive towards that with all its will. I will allow this powerful force that's build into my DNA to work its magic on me. I won't resist my own healing. I will allow it in.
I am built to heal
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
The safest banks fail, corporations fold, loved ones die, all things change. Your life now changes like the tides or the seasons. You are not alone in this change. Seek out others who have experienced relief from your problem of choice and let them guide you through it.
I can change my clothes and change my address but until I change myself, I cannot grow.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
If you want to feel better, clean house. If you want to get better, find God.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I have the courage to own my own unhappiness, daring to look within to discover its source. Today I treat myself as a friend, with gentleness and acceptance.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
An alcoholic who stops drinking, is like the guy who jumps into the water only to find that he can't swim. And AA isn't the water you jump into when your pants are on fire, AA is a bunch of idiots in a life boat with charred britches who come along and give swimming lessons. - Doug D.
bluidkiti
02-14-2024, 07:25 AM
February 24
Daily Reflections
A THANKFUL HEART
I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful
heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming
with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in
outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37
My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic
and always have "an attitude of gratitude"--that
gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that
humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity, and that
"anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our
Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before
personalities." As a result of his guidance, I start
every morning on my knees, thanking God for three things:
I'm alive, I'm sober, and I'm a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous. Then I try to live an "attitude of gratitude"
and thoroughly enjoy another twenty-four hours of the
A.A. way of life. A.A. is not something I joined; it's
something I live.
************************************************** *********
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
When we came to our first A.A. meeting, we looked up at
the wall at the end of the room and saw the sign: " But
for the Grace of God." We knew right then and there that
we would have to call on the grace of God in order to get
sober and get over our soul-sickness. We heard speakers
tell how they had come to depend on a Power greater than
themselves. That made sense to us and we made up our minds
to try it. Am I depending on the grace of God to help keep me
sober?
Meditation For The Day
Share your love, your joy, your happiness, your time, your
food, your money gladly with all. Give out all the love you
can with a glad, free heart and hand. Do all you can for
others and back will come countless stores of blessings.
Sharing draws others to you. Take all who come as sent by
God and give them a royal welcome. You may never see the
results of your sharing. Today they may not need you, but
tomorrow may bring results from the sharing you did today.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may make each visitor desire to return. I pray
that I may never make anyone feel repulsed or unwanted.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
Seeking Guidance, p. 55
"Man is supposed to think, and act. He wasn't made in God's image
to be an automation.
"My own formula along this line runs as follows: First, think through
every situation pro and con, praying meanwhile that I be not
influenced by ego considerations. Affirm that I would like to do
God's will.
"Then, having turned the problem over in this fashion and getting no
conclusive or compelling answer, I wait for further guidance, which
may come into mind directly or through other people or through
circumstances.
"If I feel I can't wait, and still get no definite indication, I repeat the
first measure several times, try to pick out the best course, and then
proceed to act. I know if I am wrong, the heavens won't fall. A
lesson will be learned, in any case."
Letter, 1950
************************************************** *********
Walk In Dry Places
Selfishness____Self-improvement
We're told again and again that we have to be selfish about our own recovery, but this seems to be in conflict with the fact that selfishness is the root of our problem. How can selfishness be both good and bad?
The selfishness we need for recovery is a devotion to self-improvement, rather than the selfish indulgence that made us sick. One is a giving of ourselves, the other is frantic taking that leads to destruction. The person who seeks self-improvement is competing only against his or her former self. The sick brand of selfishness, on the other hand, is usually involved in unhealthy competition with others.
There is no easy way to test whether our selfishness is the right kind. If our conduct leads to long-term happiness and higher self-esteem, it is probably right. If it harms us or others, something is wrong. We can correct this by getting back to the basics of the program and pursing self-improvement rather than self-indulgence.
Just for today, I will take part in that which will obviously benefit everyone.
************************************************** *********
Keep It Simple
Failure is impossible. ---Susan B. Anthony
Failure is an attitude. Having an attitude of failure can't help us. It can only hurt us. If we're not careful, it can grow into a way of life. So, when we feel like failures, we better look at our attitudes.
An attitude of failure often comes from making mistakes. But we can learn to see our mistakes as lessons. This turns mistakes into gains, not failures. Sometimes, we try to do things that just can't be done.
When we act like we know everything, we're going to fail. if we try to act like God, we're going to fail.
We can't control others. We can't know everything. We're not God. We're human. If we act human, we've already won.
Prayer for the Day: Higher power, help me to learn from my attitudes. Whatever the outcome, help me learn.
Action for the Day: Facing our past "failures" is the first step to learning from them. I'll talk to my sponsor about a past "failure" and the good that came from it.
************************************************** *********
Each Day a New Beginning
The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. --Virginia Woolf
Anguish is undoubtedly more familiar to us than is the beauty of laughter. We feel anguish over our failings; we feel anguish over our losses; we feel anguish over the attempts to succeed that beckon to us.
Anguish comes of fear. And we so hope to avoid it. However, it seasons us as women; it enriches us even while it momentarily diminishes us. It is a major contributor to the sum and substance of our lives. The anguish we experience prepares us to help others experience their own particular anguish.
Our laughter, too, must be savored and shared. And laughter builds more laughter. Laughter lends a perspective on our anguish. Life is made richer, fuller, by the ebb and flow, the laughter and the anguish in concert.
If only we could remember, when the anguish is present, that it is making our Spirits whole. That it, along with laughter, is a healer of the soul. That it lifts our load at the same time that it burdens us. That it prepares us to better receive life's other gifts.
I can help another face anguish. It brings us together. It softens me. And it makes way for the laughter soon to come.
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that.
p. 95
************************************************** *********
Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
In June 1945, with another member, I made my first--and only--Twelfth Step call on a female alcoholic and a year later I married her. She has been sober all the way through and for me that has been good. We can share in the laughter and tears of our many friends, and most important, we can share our A.A. way of life and are given daily opportunity to help others.
p. 230
************************************************** *********
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can only be changed by a deep and honest search of our motives and actions.
p. 79
************************************************** *********
If I linger with half truths, alibis, excuses, I will reap the
consequences.
Hold your head high. Rise above the situation.
A new day is dawning. Look forward to a better time.
You have done your best. Forget the rest.
This is growth. We struggle, we learn, we overcome.
--Author Unknown
Words you speak can be your best attribute or your worst weapon.
It's up to you on how you decide to use them. Remember though,
it only takes once to say the wrong thing forever.
A smile is a gift you give to someone else.
We all have a "bad" day every once in a while. Your strength is determined by whether
or not you let that "bad" day ruin your day.
Being thoughtful only takes a moment of your time.
Being thoughtless will require more in explanations and apologies.
************************************************** *********
Father Leo's Daily Meditation
SELF
"Wherever two people meet,
there are really six people
present. There is each man as he
sees himself, each man as the
other person sees him, and each
man as he really is."
-- William James
Part of my spiritual journey involves the discovery of "self". For
years I pretended to be what I was not; for years I pretended to be
what I imagined myself to be; for years I pretended to be what you
wanted me to be --- always my real "self" eluded me.
Today I am beginning to know myself. I know my needs. I understand
my strengths. I accept my weaknesses and I live with my confusions.
>From the time I decided to put down the glass of alcohol, it
progressively got better --- but there is still a great deal I do not
understand. Man's inhumanity to man, the daily violence and
suffering, my own personal greed, cowardice and arrogance --- where
does it come from? I don't know and today that is okay. However, I
still search; my suspicion is that the answer lies within my own
insecurities.
In Your time, Master, may I grow in my understanding of self.
************************************************** *********
"Truly, I say to you, whoever says to the mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,'
and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be
done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have
received it and it will be yours."
Mark 11:23-24
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful;
he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,
he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
I Corinthians 10:13
"See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and
that is what we are.... Beloved, we are God's children now."
1 John 3:1-2
************************************************** *********
Daily Inspiration
When you follow God's way, your life will flourish according to His great plan for you. Lord, guide me and make me aware of the ways You are working in my life.
Use the power of positive images in your mind to bring about good experiences. Lord, I will let my faith in You nourish my thoughts so that I can develop a healthy and joyful reality.
************************************************** *********
NA Just For Today
A New Influence
"Personality change was what we really needed. Change from self-destructive patterns of life became necessary."
Basic Text, p. 15
In early life, most of us were capable of joy and wonder, of giving and receiving unconditional love. When we started
using, we introduced an influence into our lives that slowly drove us away from those things. The further we were
pushed down the path of addiction, the further we withdrew from joy, wonder, and love.
That journey was not taken overnight. But however long it took, we arrived at the doors of NA with more than just a
drug problem. The influence of addiction had warped our whole pattern of living beyond recognition.
The Twelve Steps work miracles, its true, but not many of them are worked overnight. Our disease slowly influenced
our spiritual development for the worse. Recovery introduces a new influence to our lives, a source of fellowship and
spiritual strength slowly impelling us into new, healthy patterns of living.
This change, of course, doesn't "just happen." But if we cooperate with the new influence NA has brought to our lives,
over time we will experience the personality change we call recovery. The Twelve Steps provide us with a program for
the kind of cooperation required to restore joy, wonder, and love to our lives.
Just for today: I will cooperate with the new influence of fellowship and spiritual strength NA has introduced to my life, I
will work the next step in my program.
************************************************** *********
You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Thoughts--just mere thoughts--are as powerful as electric batteries--as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one
as poison. --Frances Hodgson Burnett
The truck was in mud to its axles. Three lumberjacks sat in stony silence in the cab. There they were, stuck in the
woods on their way to the cutting site. The first man slammed the steering wheel, cursed, and stormed out of the
truck. The second thought the early morning woods inviting, and said he'd just crawl under a pine to nap until
someone came along to pull them out. The third man, left alone, grabbed an axe and a saw and set about cutting
wood to slide under the wheels. Within an hour he managed to pull the truck out of its muddy bath and they got on
their way.
We can choose how we respond to an obstacle. As with the three men, our response may be to curse and give up, to
sit back and wait for someone else to help us, or to set to work fearlessly to try to overcome it ourselves. The event
itself isn't important; how we think about it is.
Is there an obstacle in my way today
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It doesn't happen all at once.... You become. It takes a long time. --Margery Williams
Our spiritual awakening is partly a process of becoming real. We're moving from the external controls of image and
others' opinions to the internal controls of honesty, listening to our inner voice, and having true relationships. We are
shedding the games that maintained our old style of life - "macho" or "hero" or "poor me."
In place of the old phony surface, we are developing a real relationship with ourselves. We are becoming more aware
- of emotions, of need for rest, of violations of our values. Sometimes change comes in a flash of insight or a moment
of sudden, piercing awareness, but more often it comes a little bit at a time. As we work the Steps, as we are true to
our inner voice, as we keep returning to conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we get closer to our friends, we
become more real to ourselves.
As I grow, I see that I was always real. I was just looking at the outside.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Recognizing Feelings
Experiencing feelings can be a challenge if we've had no previous experience or permission to do that. Learning to
identify what we're feeling is a challenge we can meet, but we will not become experts overnight. Nor do we have to
deal with our feelings perfectly.
Here are some ideas that might be helpful as you learn to recognize and deal with feelings.
Take out a sheet of paper. On the top of it write, "If it was okay to feel whatever I'm feeling, and I wouldn't be judged as
bad or wrong, what would I be feeling?" Then write whatever comes to mind. You can also use the favorite standby of
many people in discovering their feelings: writing or journaling. You can keep a diary, write letters you don't intend to
send, or just scribble thoughts onto a note pad.
Watch and listen to yourself as an objective third person might. Listen to your tone of voice and the words you use.
What do you hear? Sadness, fear, anger, happiness?
What is your body telling you? Is it tense and rigid with anger? Running with fear? Heavy with sadness and grief?
Dancing with joy?
Talking to people in recovery helps too. Going to meetings helps. Once we feel safe, many of us find that we open up
naturally and with ease to our feelings.
We are on a continual treasure hunt in recovery. One of the treasures we're seeking is the emotional part of
ourselves. We don't have to do it perfectly. We need only be honest, open, and willing to try. Our emotions are there,
waiting to share themselves with us.
Today, I will watch myself and listen to myself as I go through my day. I will not fudge myself for what I'm feeling; I will
accept myself.
I am growing in my ability to trust what feels good and right. Today I can look with and wait until I know with my heart. -
-Ruth Fishel
****************************************
Journey to the Heart
There Is Power in Stillness
Our miracles and life’s magic don’t appear when we’re restless and frantic. The miracles and magic happen when
we’re still, quiet, calm, and trusting.
Each of us has favorite items and places that help to calm and quiet us. What stills our mind? A walk in the park, a
special place in the city, a quiet room? An old chenille robe? A rock, a cross, a picture, a lit candle?
Use these places and things to find that place of stillness in yourself. Find the power in stillness. It’s a power that
comes gently, like the morning sunrise or the evening stars.
Take time each day to seek out stillness, to find that sacred spot. Let your mind and soul be at ease. Don’t grasp and
grab for the magic and miracles. When you reside in that place of stillness, the joy, miracles, and magic you’re
seeking will find you.
****************************************
More Language Of Letting Go
Seek the adventure in your life
...adventure is not made up of distant lands and mountaintops, rather it lies in one's readiness to exchange the
domestic hearth for an uncertain resting place.
--Reinhold Messner, Free Spirit
It isn't necessary for us to travel the world in search of the next high mountain or wild, desolate place to find an
adventure. Adventure lies in our perspective and in our attitude. It is our approach to life, rather than the actual
circumstances of it, that determines how much adventure we have. Adventure for one person may mean seeking out
a dream that has been long neglected. Perhaps adventure for another means losing weight, changing an outgrown
image, getting sober, learning to be in a love relationship, or simply experiencing joy.
It's good to make ourselves comfortable, but don't get so comfortable in front of that hearth that you never want to
grow or change. Water that never moves become stagnant and poisoned; so it is with the human spirit. We are given
life to live.
Look at your life and see if there is some area where you,too, can seek out an uncertain resting place. Maybe work,
love, or an area of spiritual growth? Some new or long forgotten lesson is waiting to be discovered or rediscovered by
you.
Say woohoo. Be uncomfortable for a while. It's never too late to learn and experience something new.
God, instill in me a spirit of adventure as I pursue my life.
****************************************
A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
I can banish fear by realizing the truth. Am I afraid to be alone? This fear can be banished by the realization that I am
never alone, that god is always with me wherever I am and whatever I do. Am I afraid that I won’t have enough money
to meet my needs? this fear can be banished by the realization that god is my inexhaustible, unfailing resource, now
and always. Today I have the power to change fear into faith. Can I say with confidence, “I will trust, and will not be
afraid..”?
Today I Pray
That I may fear no evil, for God is with me. that I may learn to turn to my Higher Power when I am afraid. I pray
diligently that my faith in god and trust in what He has in store for me is strong enough to banish the fears that
undermine my courage.
Today I Will Remember
Turn fear into Faith.
****************************************
One More Day
The future is like heaven — everyone exalts it but no one wants to go there now.
– James Baldwin
There are people called futurist who specialize in studying trends and attitudes and who then form theories as to what
the future will hold. Having a reasoned opinion about future needs is important for business, education, and industry.
It’s probably not so important for us. We work harder to understand today and to discover what this day can hold for
us.
We aren’t scientist or researchers; we are more like explorers who face uncharted territory. Each morning we’re
unaware of all teh events and surprises that lie ahead, but we are the only ones who can choose the direction this day
will take. We don’t want to and we don’t need to worry about the future because right now we have this gift of time to
use for ourselves and for those who are close to us.
I will glory in this day and fill it with living.
************************************
Food For Thought
Values
What do I value most? What is number one in my life? What is at the center?
When I was overeating, I was the center. I was the biggest thing in my universe, and all else revolved around me - a frightening state of affairs, since egotism does not bring peace of mind or security. Self was most important to me, and that egotism was my downfall. When I fell off my high horse and hit bottom, I had nowhere to go except to something outside of myself.
As we compulsive overeaters take Step Two and come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, then we begin to shift the center of our consciousness from ourselves to God. This is our only hope. As long as our weak selves are at the center, we cannot make real progress, either in controlling our addiction or in living useful lives.
When we hit bottom, we are humbled. When we are humbled, we are able to perceive and acknowledge that God is primary and that abstinence is our most important task. Values are sorted out and order brings inner peace and security.
You, Lord, are the center of my life.
*****************************************
One Day At A Time
~ ANIMAL TEACHERS ~
For perhaps if the truth were known, we’re all a little blind,
a little deaf, a little handicapped, a little lonely, a little less than perfect.
And if we can learn to appreciate and utilize the dog’s full potential,
we will, together, make it in this life on earth.
Charlotte Schwartz
So many times it feels that what we are being asked is too great. We can barely care for ourselves so how can we possibly reach out our hand to another? How many times have we cried out for someone else to please “handle it” because we just weren't able?
There are so many lessons that come by working with animals. They know nothing of dishonesty. They can't lie. They force us to be honest with ourselves. They depend on us completely, even when we feel we have nothing to give. And our reward? Unconditional love. There is something extra special about a rescued animal. It is as though they know that their life was in darkest peril and they have been saved. The gratitude shows in their eyes, their kisses of devotion, their entire being. Any kindness shown is rewarded. I think this is no different than a member of OA, especially the new members. Any kindness, and the gratitude flows. These newbies know they too have been saved. So perhaps the next time you feel you have nothing to offer, and that what you have been asked is too great, take a moment to reflect on the moment you were ‘saved’. How did you feel the first time someone reached out to you?
One day at a time...
I can use the memory of my first encounters with OA to find the strength to reach out one more time. I know the rewards will be infinite.
~ Mary W. ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. - Pg. 69 - How It Works
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
For awhile, you will have to adjust to every new day without your beloved and betrayed drug of choice. You will sometimes wonder, 'Will I ever get used to this?'
Each dawn heralds a new day and I must reinvest with new people and new principles. It is not easy but I emerge from the dark through the dawn of the 12 steps.
Inner Cleansing
I am in a process of healing. I am taking the time to allow my body to become clean and whole and as I do that, my mind seems to heal, too. Thoughts arise, thoughts I have blocked out during normal waking hours. They scare me, sometimes. Where are they coming from. Me? But as I allow them to come forward a curious thing happens. They become less threatening. They are, after all, just thoughts. They only really have power when I fear them and push them away. If I welcome them into the sun lit rooms of my mind, they sort of spread out and relax. They are just fears. Anxieties. Parts of me I don't want to know about. But today I understand that I cannot really keep secrets from me. Today I let these thoughts have room to breathe and as they do, a curious thing happens. They dissipate.
I awaken to my inner life
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Our disease had so much control over our lives, that it not only made us do things we did not want to do, but would not let us do things that we wanted to.
My disease used to make my choices. Now I do.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
If you fail to change the person you were when you came in, that person will take you out!
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I am growing in my ability to trust what feels good and right. Today I can look with and wait until I know with my heart.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
If I'd known I was going to live this long I'd have taken better care of myself.' - Unknown origin.
bluidkiti
02-18-2024, 08:05 AM
February 25
Daily Reflections
THE CHALLENGE OF FAILURE
In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a
lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 31
How thankful I am today, to know that all my past failures were
necessary for me to be where I am now. Through much pain came
experience and, in suffering, I became obedient. When I sought God,
as I understand Him, He shared His treasured gifts. Through
experience and obedience, growth started, followed by gratitude. Yes, then
came peace of mind -- living in and sharing sobriety.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Some people find it hard to believe in a Power greater than themselves.
But not to believe in such a Power forces us to atheism. It has been said
that atheism is blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe
originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. That's practically
impossible to believe. I think we all can agree that alcohol is a power
greater than ourselves. It certainly was in my case. I was helpless
before the power of alcohol. Do I remember the things that happened to
me because of the power of alcohol?
Meditation For The Day
The spiritual and moral will eventually overcome the material and
unmoral. That is the purpose and destiny of the human race. Gradually
the spiritual is overcoming the material in our minds. Gradually the
moral is overcoming the unmoral. Faith, fellowship, and service are
cures for most of the ills of the world. There is nothing in the field of
personal relationships that they cannot do.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may do my share in making a better world. I pray that I
may be part of the cure for the ills of the world.
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As Bill Sees It
Facing Criticism, p. 56
Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find
fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such an extent that we
cannot benefit by constructive criticism.
This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no
constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we can
improve.
<< << << >> >> >>
It is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of
A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a thoroughly
nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is
an exciting assignment, because in our drinking days we were prone
to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And, even though we
are now sober, the old patterns of behavior are to a degree still with
us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse.
But we now know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the
conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the grace to exert
restraint.
1. Grapevine, July 1965
2. Twelve Concepts, p. 68
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Walk In Dry Places
Malicious Gossip____Honest Motives
"Without really knowing what was happening, I said something bad today about a person I secretly resented. When it occurred to me that my remark could come back to hurt me, I had a moment of panic," an AA member said. "With little reflection, however, I realized that the more serious problem was the dishonesty that caused me to belittle somebody behind hie back!"
We are growing up when we come to see that gossip feeds on our own insecurity and self-deception. When we are unwilling to part company with gossip, we devise subtle ways to keep it in our lives. We can gossip by steering the conversation to a topic that is likely to bring revealing comments. We also gossip by reveling in lurid accounts of others' sins and failings. We should even ask ourselves if we are gossiping when we "discuss" another member who is not living up to our ideas of true Twelve Step standards. This is often prefaced by the remark, "I don't want to take Joe's inventory, but….."
We cannot live freely and happily if we practice gossip in any form. The practice may be hidden, but it leaves us with guilt, fear, and shame. We cannot gossip and be completely trustworthy and reliable.
I will truly mind my own business today. Forgiving myself for past excursions into gossip, I will say nothing about others behind their backs. If somebody has gossip to share, I will politely move to another topic.
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Keep It Simple
Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.---Willaim James
Step Two speaks of believing. For many years, we had given up believing in ourselves, in a Higher Power, and in others. We believed in getting high. Now our program tells us to believe in love. We are lovable, and we can love others without hurting them. Of course, believing is an important part of recovery.
To believe means to put aside our doubts. To believe means to have hope. Believing makes the road a little smoother. So, believing lets the healing happen a little faster. All of this is how we get ready to let in the care of our Higher Power.
Prayer for the Day: I pray for the courage to believe. I'll not let doubt into my heart. I can recover. I can give myself totally to this simple program.
Action for the Day: I'll list four times doubt got in my way. And I'll think of what I can do to not let that happen again.
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Each Day a New Beginning
You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. --Florida Scott-Maxwell
The search is on. Everyone, everywhere, asks the question at some time, "Who am I?" Women like ourselves are fortunate to have this program. It shows us the way to self-discovery. It directs our steps to the celebration of self that is a gift of recovery. The events of our past may plague us. But they did contribute to the fullness we feel today. And for them, for their involvement in who we've become, we can be grateful.
Claiming ourselves, the good and the bad, is healing. It's taking responsibility--for where we were and where we're going. Claiming ourselves makes us the active participants in our lives. The choices are many and varied. Not actively participating in life is also a choice. Passivity may have been our dominant choice in years gone by. But now, today, we are choosing recovery. We are choosing action that is healing, and wholeness is the result.
Making myself mine, will exhilarate me. It will give me hope. It will prepare me for anything to come. I will know a new joy.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy. One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
p. 96
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
In conclusion, I can only say that whatever growth or understanding has come to me, I have no wish to graduate. Very rarely do I miss the meetings of my neighborhood A.A. group, and my average has never been less than two meetings a week. I have served on only one committee in the past nine years, for I feel that I had my chance the first few years and that newer members should fill the jobs. They are far more alert and progressive than we floundering fathers were, and the future of our fellowship is in their hands. We now live in the West and are very fortunate in our area A.A.; it is good, simple and friendly, and our one desire is to stay in A.A. and not on it. Our pet slogan is "Easy Does It."
And I still say that as long as I remember January 8th in Washington, that is how long, by the grace of God as I understand Him, I will retain a happy sobriety.
pp. 230-231
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
Though in some cases we cannot make restitution at all, and in some cases action ought to be deferred, we should nevertheless make an accurate and really exhaustive survey of our past life as it has affected other people. In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness. At the time of these occurrences, they may actually have given our emotions violent twists which have since discolored our personalities and altered our lives for the worse.
pp. 79-80
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God, protect me from negative influences, which erode my beliefs.
Help me protect myself. Surround me with that which is positive,
edifying, and uplifting.
--Melody Beattie
It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man
can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much
as we speak.
--Epictetus
Have compassion for yourself and others.
Everyone is doing the best they can based on their life experiences.
Everyone is learning and growing, and so are you.
--HeartMath Discovery Program, Doc Childre and Sara Paddison
A great reform would take place in the world if we tried to live truth
instead of preaching it.
"I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine."
--Bill W.
I am God's Melody of Life and He Sings His Song through me.
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
AMBITION
"The child without ambition is
like a watch with a broken
spring."
-- R. W. Stockman
It is not wrong to have ambition. It is not wrong to want to be
"somebody". The tragedy is that this has to be said!
For too long we have played the tapes in our head that discouraged
ambition and creative pride. We confused humility with timidity and
self-abuse. We waited for things to happen, rather than made them
happen.
Today I know that I am a creature of God --- created to create. God is
at work in my life. I am part of His miracle for the world.
O God, may I always have ambition for those things that are good and
true.
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"Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in
me, and the God of peace will be with you."
Philippians 4:9
Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord
Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand,
and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations,
knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and
character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured
out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Rom. 5:1-5
"So Jesus answered and said to them, Have faith in God."
Mark 11:22
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Daily Inspiration
To receive the wonderful healing power of love, wish others well even when things aren't going so well for you. Lord, I rejoice in You always because You are blessing me daily no matter what my circumstances may be.
We are judged by our actions, not by our intentions. Lord, may I show my love for You through charity and goodness toward others.
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NA Just For Today
Sick As Our Secrets
"It would be tragic to write [out an inventory only to] shove it in a drawer These defects grow in the dark and die in the light of exposure."
Basic Text, p. 31
How many times have we heard it said that we are only as sick as our secrets? While many members choose not to use meetings to share the intimate details of their lives, it is important that we each discover what works best for us. What about those behaviors we have carried into our recovery that, if discovered, would cause us shame? How much are we comfortable disclosing, and to whom? If we are uncomfortable sharing some details of our lives in meetings, to whom do we turn?
We have found the answer to these questions in sponsorship. Although a relationship with a sponsor takes time to build, it is important that we come to trust our sponsor enough to be completely honest. Our defects only have power as long as they stay hidden. If we want to be free of those defects, we must uncover them. Secrets are only secrets until we share them with another human being.
Just for today: I will uncover my secrets. I will practice being honest with my sponsor.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed. --Sebastian R. N. Champort
We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.
Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.
What can I find to laugh about right now?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Every time I dose the door on Reality, it comes in through the window. --Ashleigh Brilliant
In the past many of us closed the door on the reality of our abuse of others or ourselves. We gave explanations, but our words more often hid the truth than revealed it. The chaos in our lives was reality coming in the window. Many men have come into this program priding themselves on their honesty, but not aware of how dishonest they were with themselves.
Honesty is a pillar of spiritual awakening. There is no growth without it, and it begins with ourselves. We do not define the truth, we accept it, we surrender to it. The truth may not feel good; it can even be painful. This is the pain of birth - the rebirth of a real man. And the promise of this day is the reward of having our integrity and the peace of self-acceptance.
Today, I will surrender to the truth. I will accept the reality, which presses for attention in my life.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Accepting Imperfection
"Why do I do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some."
Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm not talking strictly about dieting; I'm talking about life. Why do we punish ourselves by thinking that we're inferior while believing that others are perfect - whether in relationships, recovery, or a specific task?
Whether we're judging others, or ourselves it's two sides of the same coin: perfection. Neither expectation is valid.
It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is okay and what we are doing is good enough. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve. It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course. Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track.
Today, I will love and encourage myself. I will tell myself that what I'm doing is good enough, and I'll let myself enjoy that feeling.
I will give myself the gift of time today and be quiet and hear with my heart. I will go to my special place inside where I really live in love and in joy and carry those feelings with me throughout the day. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Learn to Help Heal Yourself
I feel a heaviness in my lungs, almost a pain; the next day, I find myself crying, discharging old grief and sadness. On another occasion, I feel sharp pangs in my stomach; within days, denied rage begins to surface and the pain subsides. My head aches, pounds, throbs; hours later, I feel the fear I’ve been running from. I feel the energy in my body shifting, moving, taking new shape; over the next months, I’m led into a new cycle, a new season in my life.
Some of the pains and illnesses we suffer from are indications of acute physical problems. They’re signs that our body has broken down and we need medical attention. But many of the aches and pains we experience are symptoms of a deeper process– a process of healing and cleansing our heart and soul.
As we go through our daily experiences, circumstances will trigger this healing. Someone says something that makes us feel angry or afraid, which triggers a feeling similar to one we repressed years ago. Or a conversation causes us to remember something that hurt us long ago, and our body begins to release the pain of that old emotion. Sometimes, our aches and pains are signals that some emotion is ready to surface. We need to acknowledge the feeling, feel the energy. Let it pass through us, then watch for the lesson to appear and the pain to dissipate.
If we are committed to a path of spiritual growth, our bodies will soon begin to use everything that happens as a vehicle for healing. Trust yourself and listen, and you’ll know what to do. You’ll find healers and help that will support you as you continue to discover and trust your soul.
Remember to trust the simple everyday wisdom of your body. It’s a barometer for you soul.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Let God and your intuition lead the way
I define synchronicity as an external event which triggers an internal knowing. It has to do with events that are significant coincidences, such as when you are trying to solve a problem and someone “just happens” to call. During the conversation the caller “just happens” to give a clue or answer to the difficulty.
–Nancy Rosanoff, Intuition Workout
I was talking to my friend Kyle one day. I was in the final stages of writing Playing It By Heart, but I didn’t know what the ending was. The book was an in-depth life review. I was astounded by the number of experiences I’ve had.
“I’ve been a pauper, a drug addict, a codepepndent, a mid-western housewife, a married woman, a single parent on welfare, a secretary, a journalist, a chemical dependency counselor, a book author, a bereaved parent, and a Californian. I’ve traveled to the Middle East, across the United States, ran a bookstore, and now, although I’ve taken the long hard road to get there, I live at the beach,” I said. “There’s nothing left for me to do.”
“I know one thing you want to do that you haven’t done yet,” Kyle said.
“What?” I asked. There was a long silence. I thought maybe he hung up.
“I know,” he said. “You’ve never jumped out of a plane.”
I forgot about the conversation. Within a few day, the phone rang. A man who had worked on my house about nine months before was on the line. He reintroduced himself. Then he explained why he called. He said he was a sky diver, and he asked if I’d like to go to the drop zone with him sometime, and maybe make a tandem jump.
A few months later, I went with him to Skydive Elsinore. I learned that day that jumping out of airplanes was something I very much wanted to do. And the skydiving experience was exactly the ending I needed for my book.
Trust your inner guidance. Our Higher Power works in mysterious ways. Listen to people, and watch for signs that trigger your inner knowing.
God, help me be open to all the ways you speak to me to help guide me along my path.
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Hard Learned Lessons
Bad Days
We all have days from time to time when it feels like the world is against us or that the chaos we are experiencing will never end. One negative circumstance seems to lead to another. You may wonder, on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up. A bad day can help you glean wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted. Bad days can certainly cause you to experience uncomfortable feelings you would prefer to avoid, yet a bad day may also give you a potent means to learn about yourself.
You may consider a bad day to be one where you’ve missing an important meeting because your car stalled, the dryer broke, and you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the morning. Multiple misfortunes that take place one after the other can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely cognizant of our fragility. But bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we let them. It is better to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may be an indicator that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity.
Bad days contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is one day among many good days – otherwise, we wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Know too, that everybody has bad days, you are not alone, the world is not against you. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a brighter day. Published with permission from Daily OM
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
Before we came to The Program, fear ruled our lives. Tyrannized by our addictions and obsessions, we feared everything and everybody. We feared ourselves and, perhaps most of all, feared fear itself. these days, when I am able to accept the help of my Higher Power, it makes me feel capable of doing anything I am called to do. I am overcoming my fears and acquiring a comfortable new confidence. Can I believe that “courage is fear that has said its prayers…”?
Today I Pray
God grant that through faith in Him I may overcome my obsessive fears. I have been running scared for so long it has become a habit. God help me to see that I may be purposely clinging to my fears to avoid making decisions, perhaps even to shirk the responsibility of success.
Today I Will Remember
Fear keeps me safe from risk-taking.
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One More Day
He who attempts to resist the wave is swept away, but he who bends before it abides.
– Leviticus
Just as water transforms the definition of the shoreline, so can our changing health patterns alter the boundaries of our days. What looked and felt normal before may be entirely alien now.
In various stages of life, we’ve repeatedly demonstrated our ability to adapt to new situations. Marriage, children, new jobs all call for personal change. Add to these everyday occurrences a chronic medical condition (physical or emotional) and we may feel we are drowning. Perhaps at these times, we can disengage ourselves from the moment, reassess the past, and recall how well we’ve handled the changes life has demanded. We have been adaptable, and we can continue to be.
Creating a new pattern of living is definitely within my reach.
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Food For Thought
A New Place
After a slip, we do not go back and start again in the same place where we were before. Through the experience of making a mistake, we have reached a new place. Out of error, we can gain new knowledge and insight.
Often we find that wrong thinking got us into trouble. Perhaps we fell back into the old perception of ourself as the center of the universe. Perhaps we forgot to turn over whatever was troubling us and instead began to overeat. Perhaps we tried to depend on our own inadequate strength to get us through the day. Undoubtedly, we forgot that abstinence is the most important thing in our lives without exception.
Whatever the mistake, we can profit from it by growing in understanding and insight. We can mark a pitfall to be avoided in the future. We start again a few steps farther ahead, in a new place.
May I not be discouraged by mistakes.
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One Day At A Time
~ STARTING OVER ~
Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist,
but in the ability to start over.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Before coming into this program I was, and probably still am to a certain extent, a perfectionist, so one of the things I really struggled with is being able make mistakes without feeling bad about myself. So when I came into the program, I decided that I was going to do this program perfectly, and proceeded to do just that. I followed a meal plan, lost weight and worked the steps, and I really thought I had it made. But I hadn't counted on the fact that this is a disease, and it is both cunning, baffling and powerful. So when I had my first slip, I was devastated and felt a real failure.
Fortunately for me, with the help of many loving sponsors over the years, I have realized that I am not a failure if I slip, but I am only one if I fail to get up. This program has enabled me to learn that when I make a mistake, I am not that mistake, and that all I need to do is to pick myself up and start over. In the old days if I failed at a diet, I would never have been able to pick myself up so soon, and it would always be an excuse to carry on eating and start the diet again on Monday. Now I know that my abstinence can even start at the end of the day, rather than waiting till tomorrow, next week or even next month. I am slowly starting to let go of the guilt I feel when I slip, and am also learning to love myself even when I do flounder, because with the love and support I am given in this program, I know I can always start over.
One day at a time...
I will remember that I can start afresh any time I like, and don't need to feel as if I have failed.
~ Sharon ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
We avoid retaliation or argument. - Pg. 67 - How It Works
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
I only have one character defect left and it's just that I think about myself **** near all the time.
Seeing Deeply
Every day I experience another piece of myself. Yes I am laid low, but at the same time worlds are opening up to me on the inside. My body is struggling to heal and so is the rest of me. I am watching myself deepen inside and become more aware. It is forced upon me by illness, but I cannot help but being a little bit grateful for the time to slow down and go within. I am seeing the subtleties of life, I am watching myself watch the world around me. I have a witness inside that is constantly with me but I seldom take time to be with it. As I witness my own thoughts, I learn about who I am inside, what makes me tick. As I watch myself interact with others, I see how I act in relationships. As I notice the little things, life seems to matter more.
I am renewing my relationship with life
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
The spiritual journey is one of continually falling on your face, getting up, brushing yourself off, looking sheepishly at God, and taking another step.
If I'm faced in the right direction, and fall on my face, I've still made progress.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I will give myself the gift of time today and be quiet and hear with my heart. I will go to my special place inside where I really live in love and in joy and carry those feelings with me throughout the day.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I never let go of anything that didn't have my claw marks on it. - Tony B.
bluidkiti
02-18-2024, 08:06 AM
February 26
Daily Reflections
NO ORDINARY SUCCESS STORY
A.A. is no success story in the ordinary sense of the
word. It is a story of suffering transmuted, under
grace, into spiritual progress.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 35
Upon entering A.A. I listened to others talk about the
reality of their drinking: loneliness, terror and pain.
As I listened further, I soon heard a description of a
very different kind--the reality of sobriety. It is a
reality of freedom and happiness, of purpose and
direction, and of serenity and peace with God,
ourselves and others. By attending meetings, I am
reintroduced to that reality, over and over. I see it
in the eyes and hear it in the voices of those around
me. By working the program I find the direction and
strength with which to make it mine. The joy of A.A.
is that this new reality is available to me.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
When we came into A.A., we came to believe in a Power
greater than ourselves. We came to believe in that Divine
Principle in the universe which we call God, and to whom
we could turn for help. Each morning we have a quiet
time. We ask God for the power to stay sober for the next
twenty-four hours. And each night we thank Him for
helping us to keep sober for that day. Do I believe that
each man or woman I see in A.A. is a demonstration of the
power of God to change a human being from a drunkard
to a sober person?
Meditation For The Day
I should pray for more faith as a thirsty man prays for
water in a desert. Do I know what it means to feel sure
that God will never fail me? Am I sure of this as I am
sure that I still breathe? I should pray daily and most
diligently that my faith may increase. There is nothing
lacking in my life because really all I need is mine,
only I lack the faith to know it. I am a king's son who
sits in rags and yet all around me are stores of all I
could desire.
Prayer For The Day
I pray for the realization that God has everything I need.
I pray that I may know that His power is always available.
************************************************** *********
As Bill Sees It
Better Than Gold, p. 57
As newcomers, many of us have indulged in spiritual intoxication.
Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, we
saw our pick strike gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of
frustration knew no bounds.
The newcomer feels he has struck something better than gold. He
may not see at once that he has barely scratched the limitless lode
which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and
insists on giving away the entire product.
Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 128-129
************************************************** *********
Walk In Dry Places
The Fix that Never was_____ Recovery
In all of the despair and defeat that went along with drinking, most of us held to the ideal of a "fantastic fix"----- a drinking experience so fulfilling and complete that it would solve our problems and leave us searching no more.
Compulsive disorders, like alcoholism, seem to include this delusion. The gambler looks for the big score, the overeater seeks the total enjoyment of food, and the sex junkie searches for the perfect partner. But the search never ends, because our compulsions always drive us to seek stronger wine and greater excitement.
The only fix that will ever work has to be rooted in sobriety and right living. When we think and live properly, free from alcohol, we find a fix that really works. We find continuous satisfaction instead of soaring excitement, sound relationships with other people instead of ego-gratifying encounters, and purpose instead of drifting.
The peak experience we had been seeking is a fix that never can be. We can be truly "fixed" only by staying sober.
I will live calmly and gratefully today, forgetting the drive for excitement that was destroying me. My Higher Power knows who I am and what I should be doing.
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Keep It Simple
Forewarned. forearmed: being prepared is half the victory.---Miguel de Cervantes
Ther will be hard times in our program. There will be hard times in our lives. That's the way the life is. It helps if we accept this. Then we can prepare for tough times. We can prepare by getting a good set of habits and sticking to them. We can make it a habit to give time to our program each day. Sticking to good habits is like having a savings account: when hard times come, we can take the "investment" we've made and overcome our problems.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me accept that there will be hard times. Help me prepare for them. With Your help, I'll stay close to You, my friends, and the program.
Action for the Day: I'll put something into my program "savings account" today. I'll make that extra call. I'll read a little longer or go to an extra meeting.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Happiness is a byproduct of an effort to make someone else happy. --Gretta Brooker Palmer
We have striven for happiness, generally in self-centered ways. We expected others to favor us with their attention, for example. Or we waited for invitations or gifts. We have probably tried to buy happiness with the purchase of a new dress or shoes. Fleeting moments of happiness were gained, that's all. And soon we were discontent once again. And the search was begun anew.
But things have changed for some of us. We are learning, maybe slowly, how to find a more permanent happiness. And we know the happiness that comes from "getting" is elusive. Giving to others, giving attention, sharing hope, sharing our own stories, listening to theirs, is the key to finding the happiness for which we've searched so long. We must get outside of ourselves and focus on another's joy or sorrow. Only then do we get a clear perspective on who we are and the necessary role we play in the lives of others who need our attention and who have a message we also need to hear.
The creative power stirring in me needs recognition. Looking deeply into another person, listening intently to the stirring will elicit joy. I will feel in touch with my own creative power, a lasting thrill, not a fleeting moment of happiness.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery. Having had the experience yourself, you can give him much practical advice. Let him know you are available if he wishes to make a decision and tell his story, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else.
p. 96
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
Jim's Story
This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people.
I was born in a little town In Virginia in an average religious home. My father, a Negro, was a country physician. I remember in my early youth my mother dressed me just as she did my two sisters, and I wore curls until I was six years of age. At that time I started school, and that's how I got rid of the curls. I found that even then I had fears and inhibitions. We lived just a few doors from the First Baptist Church, and when they had funerals, I remember very often asking my mother whether the person was good or bad and whether they were going to heaven or hell. I was about six then.
p. 232
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
While the purpose of making restitution to others is paramount, it is equally necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can. Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one. Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations can deepen our insight. We can go far beyond those things which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives. Thoroughness, we have found, will pay--and pay handsomely.
p. 80
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This is a great day to be sober, patient, tolerant, kindly and loving.
A positive attitude is a person's passport to a better tomorrow. --Anon
Gratitude is our most direct line to God and the angels. If we
take the time, no matter how crazy and troubled we feel, we
can find something to be thankful for. The more we seek gratitude,
the more reason the angels will give us for gratitude and joy to
exist in our lives.
--Terry Lynn Taylor
God, help me learn to respond to whatever environment I'm in by
taking the appropriate actions to take care of myself.
--Melody Beattie
Every new day is the beginning of the rest of your life. On each day
you can make new choices on how to live it.
No matter what the season, God is with us.
--George J. Waggoner
God's love reaches us wherever we are.
--Karen Christy Kurtz
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
UNIQUENESS
"Each honest calling, each walk of
life, has its own elite, its own
aristocracy based upon excellence
of performance."
-- James Bryant Conant
Everybody has a gift and a special feature that is unique to
themselves. Unfortunately so many people are so busy admiring the
gifts of others that they miss their own; they are so caught up in the
lives of others that they miss the "specialness" of their own
existence. One of the symptoms of my alcoholism was low self-esteem.
Of course I acted a role of confidence. I pretended that everything was
okay. I wore the mask of success --- but deep within myself, I was always
waiting for the world to find out that I was a fake, that something
was missing in my life.
In recovery I have discovered God's powerful gift of spirituality and I
know that through my life a uniqueness exists in the world. I have the
capacity to make the day better --- not only for myself but also for
others.
Thank You for the "specialness" of my life.
************************************************** *********
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow
to wrath: for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."
Proverbs 12:18
We love because [God] first loved us.
1 John 4:19
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Daily Inspiration
Lift yourself above the seriousness of life by keeping a gentle sense of humor. Lord, You have made me one of a kind. Help me to enjoy who I am.
No one can live for himself alone for then he will have no purpose in life. To give of self is one of life's greatest joys and blesses us with a full and rich life. Lord, help me to be selfless and loving to those around me.
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NA Just For Today
Remorse
"The Eighth Step offers a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse."
Basic Text, p. 38
Remorse was one of the feelings that kept us using. We had stumbled our way through active addiction, leaving a trail of heartbreak and devastation too painful to consider. Our remorse was often intensified by our perception that we couldn't do anything about the damage we had caused; there was no way to make it right.
We remove some of the power of remorse when we face it squarely. We begin the Eighth Step by actually making a list of all the people we have harmed. We own our part in our painful past.
But the Eighth Step does not ask us to make right all of our mistakes, merely to become willing to make amends to all those people. As we become willing to clean up the damage we've caused, we acknowledge our readiness to change. We affirm the healing process of recovery.
Remorse is no longer an instrument we use to torture ourselves. Remorse has become a tool we can use to achieve self-forgiveness.
Just for today: I will use any feelings of remorse I may have as a stepping-stone to healing through the Twelve Steps.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
From harmony, from heavenly harmony,
This universal frame began . . .
--John Dryden
Our family is like a small orchestra. Each of us has an important part to play. To achieve harmony we tune in to how others are sounding. We recognize that every orchestra needs a conductor, a center for direction. We rely on our Higher Power for this support and guidance, and we realize that our family's music exists in time. It changes, it passes, and we begin a new song. Our music comes and goes. It is not carved in marble. It is a free expression of family love.
No one of us has to play alone, because we are an ensemble. The time for soloing comes later. Today we rejoice that we can play together.
How can my music add to the family's symphony today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I have never for one instant seen clearly within myself. How then would you nave me judge the deeds of others?
--Maurice Maeterlinck
We have been given the job of getting to know ourselves and dealing with our own craziness. We aren't so good at it that we have spare time and energy left to make judgments about those around us. We are tempted to become absorbed in their behavior and choices, and it does feel like a welcome distraction from anxieties about ourselves. So we must learn to detach from the family members and friends that we are tempted to fix, or monitor, or judge.
Although we are very close, we are on separate paths in life. We were not born together, and we will not die together. We will make our family or our friendships and the world a little bit better by staying centered on our own sanity.
I pray for a clear separation between what is on my path in this program and what is on someone else's path. Then we can make good bridges between us.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Twelve Step Programs
I was furious when I found myself at my first Al Anon meeting. It seemed so unfair that he had the problem and I had to go to a meeting. But by that time, I had nowhere left in the world to go with my pain. Now, I'm grateful for Al Anon and my codependency recovery. Al Anon keeps me on track; recovery has given me a life. --Anonymous
There are many Twelve Step programs for codependents: Al Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, CoDa, Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, and more. We have many choices about which kind of group is right for us and which particular group in that category meets our needs. Twelve Step groups for codependents are free, anonymous, and available in most communities. If there is not one that is right for us, we can start one.
Twelve Step groups for codependents are not about how we can help the other person; they're about how we can help ourselves grow and change. They can help us accept and deal with the ways codependency has affected us. They can help us get on track and stay there.
There is magic in Twelve Step programs. There is healing power in connecting with other recovering people. We access this healing power by working the Steps and by allowing them to work on us. The Twelve Steps are a formula for healing.
How long do we have to go to meetings? We go until we "get the program." We go until the program "gets us." Then we keep on going and growing.
Selecting a group and then attending regularly are important ways we can begin and continue to take care of ourselves. Actively participating in our recovery program by working the Steps is another.
I will be open to the healing power available to me from the Twelve Steps and a recovery program.
It is safe to know there is a special place within me where I can feel peace. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Embrace the Lessons of Night
I reached Wyoming’s Yellowstone Park late, much later than I had planned. The park was sprawling. I wasn’t certain how to find the lodge. I couldn’t find anyone to ask for help or directions. Tired and exhausted, I couldn’t make sense of the map. I found myself driving around and around, becoming almost frantic.
Suddenly, beyond the treetops, I spotted a bright light. Good, I thought, it must be the lodge. I drove a little further, then stopped the car and stared in awe. What I saw stilled my heart, and calmed my frantic pace.
Above Yellowstone Lake, nestled between two mountain peaks, glowed a huge, white, full moon, the largest I’d ever seen it. The pines stood guard, quiet and still. A light layer of snow and ice frosted the lake’s surface. I pulled to the side of the road and watched the moon set. It was the single most beautiful, breathtaking scene of the journey.
I would never have seen this scene in the daytime. I would never have seen this moon, had I not gotten lost. I would never have seen it, had it not been this particular time of night. So maybe I’m not lost, I thought. And maybe I’m not late. Maybe what I’m really doing is taking a beautiful evening drive.
When we’re lost, when the way gets dark, sometimes we see things we never would have seen in the daylight. Sometimes, the lessons we learn in the darkness are breathtakingly beautiful.
Enjoy the sunshine, but trust the darkness,too. It is more than to be endured. It is to be experienced, and later cherished.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Open the door to fun experiences
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
–Colette
It was nighttime. A light breeze ruffled through my hair as I sat on the bench looking out over the lights of Las Vegas. How did I get here agaiin? I thought. Then I remembered. It had been another of Chip’s wrong turns that had led us from southern California into the unknown.
The man wrapped a thick cloth around my ankles and then attached the cord to it. Another backup cord ran to the harness around my waist.
I was on a tower 150 feet above the ground getting ready to bungee jump. By my feet. At night. In vegas. Again.
Sometimes the first step is the hardest. Sometimes it’s the second step that gets you. The thing about a new experience is that you have no expectations, there is no frame of reference. But the second time. … I remembered the feeling of looking down off the platform to the ground below, the unnatural, terrifying step into nothingness, then my stomach jumping up into my chest, the long second when time seemed to freeze, the plunge toward the ground, and the tug of the cord slowing me. I remembered the rebound, the hanging there, waiting to be pulled back up. I remembered it all, and it grew in my mind. And besides, this time it was night, and I was going to be hanging by my feet.
I walked to the edge of the platform. I wasn’t holding on. But I was shaking.
“5-4-3-2-1- go!” came the count. I closed my eyes and let myself fall.
And I laughed and I screamed, and I laughed at myself for screaming. It was fun.
Later, as we headed farther down the road, farther away from home on another intuitive road trip, I was still smiling.
Growth is self-perpetuating. Each new experience opens the door for further experiences. Today, remember something that you may have done only once, something you liked; then do it again. Allow your mind to fill you with uncertainty as you remember all of the experiences of the first time. It doesn’t have to be work-related. Maybe you went to a play instead of watching TV. Camped in the woods. Or wrote a poem. Find something that was fun, and do it again. Then, bring that feeling back to your ordinary world. Bring the woohoo of the second time into the third, forth, and fifth times that you do a thing.
Keep the life in your life.
God, please remind me of some fun, interesting things that I like to do. Then help me get out of my chair and do them.
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Dark Night of the Soul
Surrendering the Ego
by Madisyn Taylor
While we are in a dark night of the soul experience, hold steady knowing the light will appear once again.
Whenever a word is overused, it is most likely being misused, and over time, it begins to lose its meaningfulness. For example, we often refer to a fleeting feeling of depression or a period of confusion, as a dark night of the soul, but neither of these things qualifies as such. A dark night of the soul is a very specific experience that some people encounter on their spiritual journeys. There are people who never encounter a dark night of the soul, but others must endure this as part of the process of breaking through to the dawn of higher consciousness.
The dark night of the soul invites us to fully recognize the confines of our egos’ identity. We may feel as if we are trapped in a prison that affords us no access to light or the outside. We are coming from a place of higher knowing, and we may have spent a lot of time and energy reaching toward the light of higher consciousness. This is why the dark night has such a quality of despair: We are suddenly shut off from what we thought we had realized and the emotional pain is very real. We may even begin to feel that it was all an illusion and that we are lost forever in this darkness. The more we struggle, the darker things get, until finally we surrender to our not knowing what to do, how to think, where to turn. It is from this place of losing our sense of ourselves as in control that the ego begins to crack or soften and the possibility of light entering becomes real.
Some of us will have to endure this process only once in our lives, while others may have to go through it many times. The great revelation of the dark night is the releasing of our old, false identity. We finally give up believing in this false self and thus become capable of owning and embracing the light. Published with permission from Daily OM
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
“What if…” How often we hear these words from newcomers to The Program. How often, in fat,we tend to say them ourselves. “What if I lose my job?” “What if my car breaks down?” What if I get sick and can’t work?” “What if my child gets hooked on drugs?” What if — anything our desperate imaginings can project. Only two small words, yet how heavy-laden they are with dread, fear and anxiety. The answer to “What if…” is, plainly and simply, “Don’t project.” We can only live with our problems as they arise, living one day at a time. Am I keeping my thoughts positive?
Today I Pray
May I grow spiritually, without being held back by anxieties. May projected fears not hobble my pursuits or keep me from making the most of today. May I turn out fear by faith. If I will only make a place for God within me, He will remove my fears.
Today I Will Remember
I can only borrow trouble at high interest rates.
****************************************
One More Day
I shall not pass this way again;
Then let me now relieve some pain,
Remove some barrier from the road,
Or brighten someone’s heavy load.
– Eva Rose York
Sometimes we help other through – neighborhood clean-up committees, recycling stations, and paint-a-tons. Maybe we’ve volunteered through school or church or community organizations.
Illness has helped us better understand the relationship between those who help and those who need help. Loving help is not prompted by pity or superiority, but by empathy and shared humanness. Also, we’ve learned that no one is always the helper or always the one needing help. We are both. We are bonded to others through what we give — and what we receive.
I will show my love by helping and being willing to be helped.
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Food For Thought
Eating Slowly
We compulsive overeaters are inclined to devour our meals in a great rush. Mealtime often finds us anxious and tense, and sometimes we are just plain greedy! While others at the table are interested in conversation and socializing, we may be narrowly focused on food and preoccupied with trying to satisfy a ravenous appetite.
We need to break out of our self-centeredness. Rather than being completely absorbed with satisfying our own appetite (which we can never do), we can learn to focus some of our attention on the concerns of those around us. When we eat more slowly, we have more time for others and we feel less deprived. Our enjoyment, of both the company and the food, is greatly increased.
Even when we eat a meal alone, we should remember that we do not receive all of our nourishment from physical food. When we eat more slowly, we become more relaxed and refreshed both physically and spiritually. When we are aware of our Higher Power and thankful for all of His blessings, the meal is more satisfying.
Help me to slow down and appreciate Your gifts.
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One Day At A Time
~ MEMORIES ~
Some memories are realities ...
and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.
Willa Cather
When one is young, the world is large and the thought of exploring it is exciting. Each year that we live we add to our memory chest ... and by middle age those memories are substantial. I have found as I have grown older that I remember more of the good things that have happened in my life than the bad. The good things seem to become sharper as time goes by ... and the bad seem less so. It's almost as though the memory has turned into a "feeling" rather than a specific event.
When I work on the fourth and the eighth Steps, my life flashes before me and, like one of those calendars from an old movie, time whizzes by and people who have been part of my life hurtle through space ... each triggering a memory.
Memories aren't made more poignant by time. One might think that a decade of recurring events might be remembered with more clarity than a year ... but I have found in the case of my own memories that it is the quality and intensity of time that produces the kind of memories Willa Cather talks about. A year or two or three, given the right circumstances, can produce the feelings we love our memories to trigger, more than those experienced during a lifetime. And a lifetime of memories can be dwindled into just moments.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will cherish my memories ~ Because I may never experience the reality of some of them again.
~ Mari ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
THERE IS A SOLUTION. Almost none of us like the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. - Pg. 25 - There Is A Solution
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
There is a fundamental unity that underlies the fellowship of our programs. It is this unity that can comfort us and help us hold on when we want a fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort more than we want this new unfamiliar life.
God, as I understand You, show me how to take comfort from the unity of fellowship when drugs call me back.
Fear
Today, I allow myself to experience my fears as fears. I don't need to let them control and color the circumstances of my life. They are real, and it is understandable that I have them. Healing can mobilize my deep fears, they come up more intensely than normal. But this is a part of my process, and growth and healing aren't neat and tidy. When I am very afraid, I will comfort myself or seek comfort from someone else. I will understand that even though I fear the worst, the worst will not necessarily happen. My feelings feel very powerful inside me, but they are not facts. I can survive my fears and understand that they will pass.
I have compassion for the fearful part of me.
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Whatever you are trying to avoid, we won't go away until you confront it.
When I see myself as others see me, do I deny it?
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Your Higher Power makes your life uncomfortable when it's time for you to change.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
It is safe to know there is a special place within me where I can feel peace.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I'm unique, just like everybody else. - Anon.
bluidkiti
02-18-2024, 08:06 AM
February 27
Daily Reflections
A UNIQUE STABILITY
Where does A.A. get its direction? . . . These practical
folk then read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole
authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express
Himself in the group conscience. . . The elder statesman
is the one who sees the wisdom of the group's decision,
who holds no resentment over his reduced status, whose
judgment, fortified by considerable experience, is
sound, and who is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines
patiently awaiting developments.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 132, 135
Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven
the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions. As my
recovery progressed, I realized that the new mantle was
tailor made for me. The elders of the group gently
offered suggestions when change seemed impossible.
Everyone's shared experiences became the substance for
treasured friendships. I know that the Fellowship is
ready and equipped to aid each suffering alcoholic at
all crossroads in life. In a world beset by many
problems, I find this assurance a unique stability.
I cherish the gift of sobriety. I offer my gratitude
for the strength I receive in a Fellowship that truly
exists for the good of all members.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
When we first came into A.A., the first thing we did was
to admit that we couldn't do anything about our drinking.
We admitted that alcohol had us licked and that we were
helpless against it. We never could decide whether or not
to take a drink. We always took the drink. And since we
couldn't do anything about it ourselves, we put our whole
drink problem into the hands of God. We turned the whole
thing over to that Power greater than ourselves. And we
have nothing more to do about it, except to trust God to
take care of the problem for us. Have I done this honestly
and fully?
Meditation For The Day
This is the time for my spirit to touch the spirit of God.
I know that the feeling of the spirit-touch is more
important than all the sensations of material things. I
must seek a silence of spirit-touching with God. Just a
moment's contact and all the fever of life leaves me. Then
I am well, whole, calm and able to arise and minister to
others. God's touch is a potent healer. I must feel that
touch and sense God's presence.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that the fever of resentment, worry and fear may
melt into nothingness. I pray that health, joy, peace and
serenity may take its place.
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As Bill Sees It
Righteous Indignation, p. 58
"The positive value of righteous indignation is theoretical--especially
for alcoholics. It leaves every one of us open to the rationalization
that we may be as angry as we like provided we can claim to be
righteous about it."
<< << << >> >> >>
When we harbored grudges and planned revenge for defeats, we
were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended
to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our
very first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or
what we thought caused it.
1. Letter, 1954
2. 12 & 12, p. 47
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Walk In Dry Places
Selling myself____ Personal Relations
Thoughtful people tell us that every person has to "sell" himself or herself in daily work. As alcoholics, we can find that threatening. Uncertainty and the fear of rejection or failure put us under stress.
We can avoid this stress and tension by putting all responsibility for results in God's hands. While it is true that we want to succeed and to be accepted, we can never be sure that our idea of success is the right one. There are times when our strong determination to succeed at all costs makes us overbearing and demanding in our approach. We may be so anxious to appear competent and knowledgeable that we overreach our selves and make stupid blunders.
God can show us how to handle each day's affairs in an orderly, reasonable way. It is not necessary to win every argument or to make every sale. We can sell ourselves mor effectively when we go through the day calmly and take a genuine interest in the ideas and concerns of others.
I will look upon my customers and fellow workers as friends and allies. I don't have to bludgeon every person into accepting my point of view. If I am sincerely trying to follow God's will in all my affairs, others will sense my sincerity and will be glad to consider what I have to say.
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Keep It Simple
Without work all life goes rotten.---Albert Camus
Work is more than earning money. Work means using our time and skills to make life better for those around us. Our work can be our hobbies. Growing food or growing flowers can be our work.
Raising children or caring for older people who need help can be our work. Building homes or helping people live in them can be our work. Thanks to our program of recovery, we can do our best work again. What a change from the drugged-up and hung over days when we didn't do anything well. We are sober, and we have something to offer.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see that work makes me part of the human family. Help me do Your will in my work today.
Action for the Day: Good work teaches us good habits. How do the things I've learned in my work help me in my recovery program? I'll list five ways.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Being alone and feeling vulnerable. Like two separate themes, these two parts of myself unite in my being and sow the seeds of my longing for unconditional love. --Mary Casey
How easily we slip into self-doubt, fearing we're incapable or unlovable, perhaps both. How common for us to look into the faces of our friends and lovers in search of affirmation and love.
Our alienation from ourselves, from one another, from God's Spirit which exists everywhere causes our discontent. It is our discontent. When souls touch, love is born, love of self and love of the other. Our aloneness exists when we create barriers that keep us separate from our friends, our family. Only we can reach over or around the barriers to offer love, to receive love.
Recovery offers us the tools for loving, but we must dare to pick them up. Listening to others and sharing ourselves begins the process of loving. Risking to offer love before receiving it will free us from the continual search for love in the faces of others.
I won't wait to be loved today. I will love someone else, fully. I won't doubt that I, too, am loved. I will feel it. I will find unconditional love.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
He may be broke and homeless. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance. But you should not deprive your family or creditors of money they should have. Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days. But be sure you use discretion. Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter. Permit that and you only harm him. You will be making it possible for him to be insincere. You may be aiding in his destruction rather than his recovery.
pp. 96-97
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
Jim's Story
This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people.
My mother had been recently converted and, actually, had become a religious fanatic. That was her main neurotic manifestation. She was very possessive with us children. Mother drilled into me a very Puritanical point of view as to sex relations, as well as to motherhood and womanhood. I'm sure ideas as to what life should be like were quite different from that of the average person with whom I associated. Later on in life that took its toll. I realize that now.
p. 232
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we say that we have "harmed" other people. What kinds of "harm" do people do one another, anyway? To define the word "harm" in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual damage to people. If our tempers are consistently bad, we arouse anger in others. If we lie or cheat, we deprive others not only of their worldly goods, but of their emotional security and peace of mind. We really issue them an invitation to become contemptuous and vengeful. If our sex conduct is selfish, we may excite jealousy, misery, and a strong desire to retaliate in kind.
p. 80
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The road to recovery is always under construction.
A cool head keeps you out of hot water.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without
forgetting.
--Elizabeth Bibesco
God, help me take a deep breath and holler woohoo.
--Melody Beattie
A deeper bonding with one's spirit and with others at an essence level is
the spiritual opportunity of the new millennium, yet the first step is an
inside job -- starting with oneself. People have an innate desire to bond
with others in the spirit of love, but an essential first step is rolling up
our sleeves and applying some elbow grease toward managing attitudes
and emotions that are not in line with our heart or authentic self.
Then bonding becomes not an action you do but a way of being, the
way of love.
--Doc Childre
When the storms clouds threaten
And on the sea of life we're tossed,
When we don't know where we are going,
Feeling all alone and lost.......
There is a friend to turn to.
A calming hand to guide your way
He will make the dark clouds scatter
and brighter grows the day.
--Gloria Hall Wood
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
FACTS
"To treat your facts with
imagination is one thing, but to
imagine your facts is another."
-- John Burroughs
When I was drinking, I was always confusing fantasy with reality. Lies
got mingled with the facts and the facts became exaggerated. It was
almost impossible for me to distinguish between reality and fantasy,
imagination and fact. My life was a complicated lie.
Today I have a program of "rigorous" honesty; I must be rigorous and
stop the game before it starts. I need to practice the principles of
recovery in every area of my life. The spiritual road involves a
comprehensive journey and nothing need be left out.
God, who created the mountains, help me to take responsibility for the
grit between my toes.
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"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My
heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."
Psalm 28:7
"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither
you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on
every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD."
Deuteronomy 8:3
"Come to me all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept
my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find
rest for your lives. The teaching I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is
light."
Matthew 11:28-30
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Daily Inspiration
Time passes too quickly so waste none of it on anger, self-pity or the irritations of life. Lord, may my choices remove stress and free me to enjoy the goodness of today.
In your pursuit of happiness, pause to relax and be happy. Lord, slow me down just enough to enjoy all that You have given to me.
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NA Just For Today
"Pure Motives"
"We examine our actions, reactions, and motives. We often find that we've been doing better than we've been feeling."
Basic Text, p. 42
Imagine a daily meditation book with this kind of message: "When you wake up in the morning, before you rise from your bed, take a moment for reflection. Lie back, gather your thoughts, and consider your plans for the day. One by one, review the motives behind those plans. If your motives are not entirely pure, roll over and go back to sleep." Nonsense, isn't it?
No matter how long we've been clean, almost all of us have mixed motives behind almost everything we do. However, that's no reason to put our lives on hold. We don't have to wait for our motives to become perfectly pure before we can start living our recovery.
As the program works its way into our lives, we begin acting less frequently on our more questionable motives. We regularly examine ourselves, and we talk with our sponsor about what we find. We pray for knowledge of our Higher Power's will for us, and we seek the power to act on the knowledge we're given. The result? We don't get perfect, but we do get better.
We've begun working a spiritual program. We won't ever become spiritual giants. But if we look at ourselves realistically, we'll probably realize that we've been doing better than we've been feeling.
Just for today: I will examine myself realistically. I will seek the power to act on my best motives, and not to act on my worst.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. --Walter Babehot
Everyone knew Jacob was a bitter old hermit who hated people. He lived by himself in a cabin in the woods. He never came to town, never talked to anyone, and never put up a mailbox or put in a phone. But he had one thing the townsfolk wanted--the very first Bible brought by a preacher when the town was first settled. They wanted it for their centennial celebration.
Little Tom listened as the townsfolk complained daily about how much they wanted the old book to put on display. One day, he walked on out to the little cabin and just asked the old man if he could borrow the book, just for a week. Imagine the surprise on the faces of the people when the boy wandered back to town with the old dusty book in hand.
Are we like the townspeople sometimes? Do we assume things won't work out without even trying? Sometimes help is there, just waiting to be asked. What have we got to lose?
What can I request today that I have been afraid to ask for?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender. --Henri Amiel
When we were lost in our addictive ways, we were driven by self-interest. We didn't necessarily like ourselves or want to be so self centered. But we had no inner resources to help us escape the trap of our egos. When we were there, we could not see outside ourselves well enough to ask for help. Surrender, we thought, brought only defeat and humiliation.
The inspiration of this program brings us possibilities that cannot originate from within. When we surrender, we are no longer captives within our skins. We are actually restored to a more natural state as men in community with others, who literally cannot survive as isolated individuals. We must be a part of the give and take within the group, just as it has been for human beings since the beginning of time.
Today, I surrender my self-interest again, knowing I must do it over and over.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
People Pleasers
Have you ever been around people pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety producing.
People-pleasing is a behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self-trust.
People pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, "I hope I'm pleasing you." Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others.
Taking other people's wants and needs into consideration is an important part of our relationships. We have responsibilities to friends and family and employers. We have a strong inner responsibility to be loving and caring. But, people pleasing backfires. Not only do others get annoyed with us, we often get annoyed when our efforts to please do not work as we planned. The most comfortable people to be around are those who are considerate of others but ultimately please themselves.
Help me, God, work through my fears and begin to please myself.
Today I will trust myself when something does not feel smooth and flowing. I will begin to look around for alternatives for anything that feels rough and irritating. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Open to Life’s Magic
“I will never forget my mother’s words to me the first time she took me to the Hob rain forest,” a woman told me, when she learned I was going there. “We were at the edge of the forest, about to enter. My mother stopped walking and turned to me. “There’s magic here,” she said. It wasn’t her words that impressed me. What struck me was the absolute certainty and matter-of-fact way she said it. It was like she had just told me, ‘Dinner’s ready,’”
There’s magic in the air. It’s the next place on the journey. It’s inevitable. We have been clearing the path so we could do more than merely trudge down the road. The road leads to magic– a magical way of living. A magical way of being here. The magic in the air isn’t an illusion, isn’t a trick. You have done your work. You have stuck with the journey. Now is the time for fun,the time to see and know more of life’s magical ways.
Walk lightly. Enter the enchanted forest. Look around. Keep your eyes and ears open. Tell others what you see. The journey to the heart is a journey of wonder and awe.
“The ancient ones, the trees, are waiting for you,” the woman said. “When you get there, tell them I said hi.” Open to life’s magic. It’s been waiting for your call.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Live your life
A painting of a rice cake does not satisfy hunger.
–Ancient saying
An old man was telling his grandson about how poor he was when he was younger. “Why when I was a kid, we couldn’t even afford cheese for the mousetraps,” he said. “We had to cut out pictures of cheese and use that.”
“Wow, did you catch anything gramps?”
“Yes. We caught pictures of mice.”
I have a picture in my house of a Buddhist ceremony in Tibet. The picture was taken by a photographer who lives close to the Blue Sky Lodge. She told me all about the picture when I bought it from her– told me about the smells in the air, the temperature, the crush of the people around her, the tastes, smells, and sights of that place. When I close my eyes and remember her words, I can almost go there. Almost, but not quite. I hope to travel there sometime, to see those things and to feel my soul filled with the spirituality of a monastery high on a hill. The picture is like a menu. It sits on the counter, tempting me with all that is offered in it. But it doesn’t satisfy my hunger.
We can share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. But I can’t learn your lessons and you can’t learn mine.
I’m planning my trip to Tibet, as I write this book. Will it all work out like the trip in the picture? I don’t know. I do know that I won’t get the experience– the sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and the impact on my soul– from looking at the picture on my wall.
Have you been trying to gain sustenance from looking at a picture of an experience– reading books, taking classes, going to seminars, listening to mentors– instead of going out and living life for yourself? Take another look at your menu, the list you wrote at the beginning of the year. Order something from it.
Stop looking at the picture and go live for yourself.
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Short Getaways
Taking a Day Trip
by Madisyn Taylor
We need not go on an expensive vacation to feel we have had time off as your local park or beach can offer a blissful refuge.
We tend to think of a vacation as something that requires an enormous amount of preparation, but small daylong excursions can be just as refreshing and fulfilling as their lengthier counterparts. A short drive can be the channel that transports you into a world of novel experiences and blissful relaxation. Solo day trips can be a wonderful way to unwind from the stresses of routine existence while simultaneously feeding the soul. And when you choose to share your day trip with someone you care about, a leisurely drive becomes a chance to talk about childhood, recall favorite songs, or simply spend time enjoying one another's presence.
You may be surprised to see how many day-trip possibilities exist within a mere hour's time from your home. Forests, beaches, lakes, mountains, rivers, and deserts can serve as the perfect spot for a mini-vacation. The physical and mental rejuvenation you experience in an unfamiliar and engaging setting are enhanced by meditation, journaling, deep breathing, or just being still with nature. Though the cost of gasoline can make taking a day trip seem frivolous, and our commitment to environmental well-being may cause us to hesitate before utilizing our cars in this manner, there are numerous ways we can effectively offset our carbon signature while still seeing to the needs of ourselves on a soul level.
Since day trips tend to require much smaller investments of time and money than traditional outings, you can enjoy a diverse range of experiences day by day. On one weekend, you may be motivated by a need to connect with your natural heritage to explore a vast state park or nature preserve. On another, your curiosity can inspire you to visit a historical site that has long piqued your interest. In the end, where you go will often be less important than your willingness to broaden your horizons by removing yourself from the environment already so familiar to you. Each mini-getaway you take will imbue your existence with a sensation of renewal that prepares you for whatever lies ahead. Published with permission from Daily OM
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
If I live just one day at a time, I won’t so quickly entertain fears of what might happen tomorrow. As long as I’m concentrating on today’s activities, there won’t be room in my mind for worrying. I’ll try to fill every minute of this day with something. Then, when the day is ended, I’ll be able to look back on it with satisfaction, serenity and gratitude. Do I sometimes cherish bad feeling so that I can feel sorry for myself?
Today I Pray
That I will get out of the self-pity act and live for today. May I notice the good things from dawn to nightfall, learn to talk about them and thank God for them. May I catch myself if I seem to be relishing my moans and complaints more often than appreciating the goodness of my life.
Today I Will Remember
Today is good.
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One More Day
I shall not pass this way again;
Then let me now relieve some pain,
Remove some barrier from the road,
Or brighten someone’s heavy load.
– Eva Rose York
Sometimes we help other through – neighborhood clean-up committees, recycling stations, and paint-a-tons. Maybe we’ve volunteered through school or church or community organizations.
Illness has helped us better understand the relationship between those who help and those who need help. Loving help is not prompted by pity or superiority, but by empathy and shared humanness. Also, we’ve learned that no one is always the helper or always the one needing help. We are both. We are bonded to others through what we give — and what we receive.
I will show my love by helping and being willing to be helped.
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Food For Thought
No Standing Still
Life is movement, and to be alive is to change. There is no standing still. Either we are making progress in the control of our disease, or we are getting worse.
Progress forward is an upward climb. To look back with longing at a time which in retrospect seems easier, or to think about the so-called pleasure we once got from food, is to invite disaster. We have long passed the point of being satisfied with a small amount of uncontrolled eating. Now, a small amount will inevitably become a large amount, and instead of pleasure we will eventually feel much physical and emotional pain.
If we are making progress, let's keep at it and not be deluded into going backwards. If we are losing control and slipping, let's recognize that we are on a downward course and that our disease is getting worse. Let's stop rationalizing and making excuses. Right now we can turn around and start climbing.
May I keep climbing.
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One Day At A Time
~ FIGHTING ~
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone ...
The Big Book, page 84
When one goes through life at full speed ahead as I have done, it's hard to really step back and look at one's life. Everything is happening too fast and each day seems to blend into the next and, before you know it, the next segment of life seems to take over.
When I began my Twelve Step recovery program, I found myself slowing down ... examining my life ... observing those around me ... and reflecting on my past. I began to know who I was and I didn't like one of the things I discovered: I was a fighter. I didn't accept people, places or things unless and until they met my expectations of what they should be. I tried to control situations that I should have walked away from. I clung to people I should have distanced myself from. I tried to manipulate things that were toxic to me, and make them un-toxic ... and, in the process, did myself great harm.
When I first read those words from the AABB, "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone," I felt it didn't apply to me ... because at that point, I hadn't categorized myself as a fighter. It took living and working the Steps to realize that. And it took living and working the Steps to take the action necessary to stop being a fighter.
Life is calmer now. Relationships are smoother. I sometimes miss the excitement of going through like as though I were on a roller coaster ... but I won't go back there. Serenity means too much to me. Fighting is something I have put away forever.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will direct my thinking and doing to those things in my life which will contribute to a meaningful and pleasant journey.
~ Mari ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. - Pg. 133 - The Family Afterwards
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
Sometimes you won't be able to trust that all will be well. You'll think 'it isn't well' and 'I don't want to hear others telling me it will be all right.' OK. Be angry. Now go do something that is suggested to you today. Make a phone call to your sponsor, make a meeting, help another in early recovery. Channel your anger toward action.
Grant me the strength to do one activity today that is suggested in the books or by a fellow member in recovery.
Unseen Hands
There are forces in this ever alive and vibrating universe that want to help me if I can let them. I will pray to unseen hands to guide me toward wellness, to lift me towards God. If I am low, I will allow this legion of tiny hands to lift me in the blink of an eye. I will ask and trust that help is at hand. I will free my mind so that it can include more experience that it normally does. I will allow the veil to be lifted so that I can see this spiritual and alive universe for what it is and people for the tender and vulnerable creatures that we all are.
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
It's a very interesting thing about human nature, when you stop treating yourself poorly, it will become unacceptable for others to do so.
If I don't take care of myself, why should anyone else?
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Daily meditation for about 20 minutes is recommended for all in recovery; unless, of course, you're very busy, then you should meditate for an hour.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I will trust myself when something does not feel smooth and flowing. I will begin to look around for alternatives for anything that feels rough and irritating.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
This is a disease of insight. I could see the filth, the deceit, the ugliness, the infidelity. The pain of alcoholism and me. It was all very clear. I could see through myself like glass - As Socrates said: 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' - Tom M.
bluidkiti
02-18-2024, 08:07 AM
February 28
Daily Reflections
WHAT? NO PRESIDENT?
When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer
who can compel the payment of any dues. . . . our friends gasp and exclaim, "This
simply can't be . . ."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 132
When I finally made my way to A.A., I could not believe that there was no treasurer to
"compel the payment of dues." I could not imagine an organization that didn't require
monetary contributions in return for a service. It was my first and, thus far, only
experience with getting "something for nothing." Because I did not feel used or conned
by those in A.A., I was able to approach the program free from bias and with an open
mind. They wanted nothing from me. What could I lose? I thank God for the wisdom of
the early founders who knew so well the alcoholic's disdain for being manipulated.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
We should be free from alcohol for good. It's out of our hands and in the hands of God,
so we don't need to worry about it or even think about it any more. But if we haven't
done this honestly and fully, the chances are that it will become our problem again. Since
we don't trust God to take care of our problem for us, we reach out and take the problem
back to ourselves. Then it's our problem again and we're in the same old mess we were
in before. Do I trust God to take care of the problem for me?
Meditation For The Day
No work is of value without preparation. Every spiritual work must have behind it much
spiritual preparation. Cut short times of prayer and times of spiritual preparation and
many hours of work may be profitless. From the point of view of God, one poor tool
working all the time, but doing bad work because of lack of preparation, is of small value
compared with a sharp, keen, perfect instrument working only for a short time, but that
turns out perfect work because of long hours of spiritual preparation.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may spend more time alone with God. I pray that I may get more strength
and joy from such times, so that they will add much to my work.
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As Bill Sees It
Conviction and Compromise, p. 59
One qualification for a useful life is give-and-take, the ability to
compromise cheerfully. Compromise comes hard to us "all or nothing"
drunks. Nevertheless, we must never lose sight of the fact that
progress is nearly always characterized by a series of improving
compromises.
Of course, we cannot always compromise. There are circumstances in
which it is necessary to stick flat-footed to one's convictions until the
issue is resolved. Deciding when to compromise and when not to
compromise always calls for the most careful discrimination.
Twelve Concepts, pp. 39-40
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Walk In Dry Places
Seeking Excitement____ Seeking Serenity
"I haven't found anything to replace the excitement I felt while drinking," a member complained. "Sure, Im grateful to be sober. But sometimes it's so darned boring!
Let' talk about that need for excitement, or "high." For many of us, it was an important part of our drinking. At times, our drinking was exciting---it came with celebrations, graduations, marriage receptions, engagements, and just about anything else out of the ordinary. Along with it, we wanted other excitement: exciting love affairs, exciting experiences, exciting stories.
For us, however, excitement always ended with a crash, often a terrible one. Waking up after an exciting binge was a horrible moment. It stretched out to become horrible It never seemed to have a happy ending.
We can take this addiction to excitement in hand by recognizing it as a component of our alcoholism. We'll still be able to be excited at times, but it must be a type of excitement that brings neither crash nor hangover.
I will not let boredom push me into actions that I know will be destructive in the long run. I do not want thrills at the expense of my self-respect and sense of well-being.
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Keep It Simple
Leave yourself alone.---Jenny Janacek
We often pick on ourselves. We put ourselves down. But doing this isn't part of our recovery.
In fact, it goes against our program. Our program is based on loving care. We have turned our lives over to a caring, loving Higher Power who will give us the answers. We are told Easy Does It. We back off. As recovering addicts, we learn not to judge. Instead, we learn to be kind to ourselves. Our job is not to figure out the world, butt to add more love to it. Let's start with ourselves.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, stop me from judging. Help me know what You want to do. Help me work the Steps Two and Three.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll leave myself alone. I will remember that picking on myself is another from of control.
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Each Day a New Beginning
The weariest night, the longest day, sooner or later must perforce come to an end. --Baroness Orczy
The difficult spells in our lives come to an end. And no matter the depth of our disturbance, we will survive. We forget that the depths teach us how to better appreciate the heights.
Sorrow heightens joy. Depression heightens laughter. We wouldn't know the joys and laughter were it not for the sorrows. In them we learn to be patient, waiting for the wisdom which will light our way. In them we learn to listen for the guidance that beckons us forth.
We must reflect on the troubling experiences we've passed through of late. They made us wiser; they gave us strength. They changed us, moving us ever closer to the women, whole and happy, we desire to be.
Difficulties often precede enlightenment. They pull us inward, perhaps push us to search for our connectedness to God, a connectedness that is at home in our hearts. The paradox is that these painful periods strengthen our oneness with the Spirit.
If the day looks bleak, I will accept it as a hand reaching toward me, to pull me forward, to secure my place in the spiritual family.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn’t enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights’ sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.
p. 97
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
Jim's Story
This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people.
About this time an incident took place in grade school that I have never forgotten because it made me realize that I was a physical coward. During recess we were playing basketball, and I had accidentally tripped a fellow just a little larger than I was. He took the basketball and smashed me in the face with it. That was enough provocation to fight but I didn't fight, and I realized after recess why I didn't. It was fear. That hurt and disturbed me a great deal.
p. 232
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
Such gross misbehavior is not by any means a full catalogue of the harms we do. Let us think of some of the subtler ones which can sometimes be quite as damaging. Suppose that in our family lives we happen to be miserly, irresponsible, callous, or cold. Suppose that we are irritable, critical, impatient, and humorless. Suppose we lavish attention upon one member of the family and neglect the others. What happens when we try to dominate the whole family, either by a rule of iron or by a constant outpouring of minute directions for just how their lives should be lived from hour to hour? What happens when we wallow in depression, self-pity oozing from every pore, and inflict that upon those about us? Such a roster of harms done others--the kind that make daily living with us as practicing alcoholics difficult and often unbearable could be extended almost indefinitely. When we take such personality traits as these into shop, office, and the society of our fellows, they can do damage almost as extensive as that we have caused at home.
p. 81
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"The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them ..."
--Michel de Montaigne
"The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes."
--Frank Lloyd Wright
There is in each of us a God-shaped vacuum that only God can fill.
--Blaise Pascal
Expectation is the greatest impediment to living. In anticipation of tomorrow, it loses
today.
--Seneca
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
--Abraham Lincoln
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
--Seneca
"This day I choose to spend in perfect peace."
--A Course in Miracles
When we are fearful, God's love can help us to be confident.
--Amanda Graham
O God, help us let your love conquer our fears.
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
PERFECTION
"He that is without sin amongst
you, let him cast the first stone."
-- Jesus Christ
It is so easy for me to focus on the failings of others and miss my own. My attraction to
gossip is that it is usually about other people and that keeps the attention away from me.
Sometimes I am made to "feel good" by exposing the weaknesses of others.
This attitude needs to be changed if I am ever to fully enjoy the fruits of sobriety. I do not
need to be drinking to behave like a drunk; gossip and character assassination are
reminiscent of my past addictive behavior. I do not need the side of me that seeks to
destroy the character of others. With my spiritual program, I am trying to change.
May I grow in my forgiveness and acceptance of others.
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God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility
consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not
only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
Philippians 2:3-4
Jesus said, "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure,
pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into
your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
Luke 6:38
"If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles."
Matthew 5:41
"Do to others as you would have them do to you."
Luke 6:31
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Daily Inspiration
Set your priorities daily because some things in our path are just not important enough to use up our time and energy. Lord, with Your help I can have a full and enjoyable day.
God doesn't always end the storm, but He will calm your spirit and give you the courage you need. Lord, I have come to know and believe in the love You have for me.
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NA Just For Today
The Greatest Gift
"Our newly found faith serves as a firm foundation for courage in the future."
Basic Text, p. 93
When we begin coming to meetings, we hear other addicts talking about the gifts they have received as a result of this program, things we never thought of as "gifts" before. One such "gift" is the renewed ability to feel the emotions we had deadened for so long with drugs. It's not difficult to think of love, joy, and happiness as gifts, even if it's been a long time since we've felt them. But what about "bad" feelings like anger, sadness, fear, and loneliness? Such emotions can't be seen as gifts, we tell ourselves. After all, how can we be thankful for things we want to run from?
We can become grateful for these emotions in our lives if we place them in their proper perspective. We need to remember that we've come to believe in a loving Higher Power, and we've asked that Power to care for us - and our Higher Power doesn't make mistakes. The feelings we're given, "good" or "bad;" are given to us for a reason. With this in mind, we come to realize that there are no "bad" feelings, only lessons to be learned. Our faith and our Higher Power's care give us the courage we need to face whatever feelings may come up on a daily basis.
As we heard early in recovery, "Your Higher Power won't give you more than you can handle in just one day." And the ability to feel our emotions is one of the greatest gifts of recovery.
Just for today: I will try to welcome my feelings, firm in the belief that I have the courage to face whatever emotions may come up in my life.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Nothing that is worth doing can be done alone, but has to be done with others. --Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr
We who are blessed with a closely-knit family life, where thoughts and actions can be discussed and developed, are aware that what is given is not as important as what is shared. As we help one another, we learn that sharing can never exist unless we care first. This is the major ingredient of love.
Albert Schweitzer described human service toward a common goal as the greatest of deeds. Charles Dickens assured us that when we lighten the burdens of another; we can never consider ourselves useless. Those of us who are led today may show the way tomorrow. In giving, we receive, and in getting we cannot avoid being givers.
What do I receive by giving today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
All of my life I been like a doubled up fist... poundin', smashin', drivin' - now I'm going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them. --Tennessee Williams
Every man has many sides. Some sides are highly developed and other sides aren't at all. We need not fear turning to a new side and exploring it. This recovery program has enabled us to pursue sides of ourselves that were closed before. When we were lost in our narrow world of codependency and addiction, we had fewer options. Now we have far greater access to our strength and our self-esteem, and we find new parts of ourselves.
Many of us have found relationships, which were never possible before, job choices we would never have had, and the pleasure of greater involvement in life. It is reassuring to see that we don't always have to give up one side of ourselves to add new ones.
Thanks to God for the many options opening up to me in this renewed life.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Denial
We are slow to believe that which if believed would hurt our feelings. --Ovid
Most of us in recovery have engaged in denial from time to time. Some of us relied on this tool.
We may have denied events or feelings from our past. We may have denied other people's problems; we may have denied our own problems/ feelings, thoughts, wants, or needs. We denied the truth.
Denial means we didn't let ourselves face reality, usually because facing that particular reality would hurt. It would be a loss of something: trust, love, family, perhaps a marriage, a friendship, or a dream. And it hurts to lose something or someone. '
Denial is a protective device, a shock absorber for the soul It prevents us from acknowledging reality until we feel prepared to cope with that particular reality People can shout and scream the truth at us, but we will not see or hear it until we are ready.
We are sturdy yet fragile beings. Sometimes, we need time to get prepared, time to ready ourselves to cope. We do not let go of our need to deny by beating ourselves into acceptance; we let go of our need to deny by allowing ourselves to become safe and strong enough to cope with the truth
We will do this, when the time is right. We do not need to punish ourselves for having denied reality; we need only love ourselves into safety and strength so that each day we are better equipped to face and deal with the truth. We will face and deal with reality - on our own time schedule, when we are ready, and in our Higher Power's timing. We do not have to accept chastisement from anyone, including ourselves, for this schedule.
We will know what we need to know, when it's time to know it.
Today, I will concentrate on making myself feel safe and confident. I will let myself have my awarenesses on my own time schedule.
I am at choice today. I accept the responsibility of my life with a new sense of maturity, confidence, and even excitement.
--Ruth Fishel
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Journey to the Heart
Let Life’s Rhythm Find You
I sat in my room, a small cabin in Chimayo, New mexico. The clock whizzed through the hours, but I didn’t whiz through my morning. I felt overwhelmed. Lost. I had more to do than I could handle. I didn’t know where to begin. So there I sat. Stuck.
Genera, who ran the hostel, knocked on my door about noon. “Are you okay?” she asked. “Come have coffee and fruit with us.” Her quiet kindness, her gentle concern, and the simple act of having coffee and fruit with a friend brought me back to balance.
There’s a life force, a movement, a momentum that transcends our fears and hopes, our limitations, our overwhelmed feelings, and even our confusion. There’s a heartbeat, a rhythm to life and the universe. It’s gentle, easy, natural. It’s in us; it’s around us. It comes gently, naturally, like a friend knocking quietly on the door, asking if we are okay, if we have lost our way.
There is purpose, meaning, and rhythm to each step, each beat of your life. Each step, each feeling, each beat of your life is another mile traveled on your journey, your journey to your heart.
If you’ve lost your way and can’t find life’s rhythm, don’t worry. Keep your heart open and it will find you.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Experience life for yourself
We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way.
–John Holt
“I’m an armchair adventurer,” I’ve heard more than one person say. This means that they never actually go out and do anything. They let others take all the risk. Through books, they’ve climbed Mount Everest, sailed around the world, hiked the Pacific Crest Trail, and snowshoed to the South Pole. They were even able to tell me all about how to fly a plane before my first lesson.
It’s one thing to spend our time reading books or listening to lectures about how to do this or that– how to have a successful relationship, how to build a business, how to live life more fully, whatever comes after how to. The trick is to finally put the books down, walk away from the lecture, and do it. Getting information, support, and encouragement is helpful. Necessary,too. But life was meant to be lived, not studied. The only way that you’ll have a successful career, relationship, or hobby is to go out and get one for yourself.
God, help me take the risk of actually doing something I want to learn to do.
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Dealing with Difficult People
Opening the Channels of Communication
by Madisyn Taylor
We all have the experience of difficult people in our lives at one point or another and honest but clear communication is the answer.
We encounter a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with. Perhaps this person is a colleague or close friend that you feel is deliberately being obtuse, inviting in trouble, or doing foolish things that you find annoying. Sometimes, it may be possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them in the long term, however, can be exhausting. The behavior of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to confront them.
Avoiding a difficult person can improve impossible and not in your best interest, especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you. You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell to the person how their actions make you feel and encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don’t portray yourself as a victim. Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with their motives, question them further so you can try and discover the root of their behaviors. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift their perceptions, or at least help them understand your ! point of view.
You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on. There is no reason to let difficult person or situation have power over your state of being. Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives. Published with permission from Daily OM
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
We’re taught in The Program and the Twelve Steps that the chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear — mainly fear that we would lose something we already possessed or that we would fail to get something we demanded. Living on the basis of unsatisfied demands, we obviously were in a state of continuable disturbance and frustration. Therefore, we are taught, no peace will be ours unless we find a means of reducing these demands. Have I become entirely ready to have God remove all my defects of character?
Today I Pray
May I make no unrealistic demands on life, which, because of their grandiosity, can be met. May I place no excessive demands on others, which, when they are not fulfilled, leave me disappointed and let down.
Today I Will Remember
The set-up for a let-down.
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One More Day
We all like to forgive, and we all love best not those who offend us least, not those who have done the most for us, but those who make it most easy for us to forgive them.
– Samuel Butler
None of us likes to harbor angry or bitter feelings toward another person. We know that friends may drift apart because of disagreements in which either of us will bend or compromise.
More and more, we know what our values are and the importance of how we reflect those values. When a friendship is threatened by anger or misunderstanding, we’re able to let our values guide us. We’ve been less willing o sacrifice our values to save a weak relationship. We’ve let go of some friends. If we’ve been stubborn or selfish, we’re better able now to preserve the friendship by making amends.
I will nurture my friendships and myself by letting my principles guide my life.
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Food For Thought
Conserving Resources
In this fight against compulsive overeating, we need all the strength we can muster. We can learn to conserve our energy for what is important, rather than wasting it on non-essential activities.
An extra hour of sleep may do more for our program than an hour spent reading a novel or watching television. We have to guard against compulsive overactivity as well as overeating. Often, we tend to push too hard to complete something which can just as well wait until tomorrow. If we are tired, we are less able to resist temptation.
Choosing the foods, which will provide us with necessary proteins, vitamins, and minerals, is a vital part of maintaining energy. To take care of our bodies is to nurture the most valuable physical resource we have.
Conserving our resources often means saying no to people and activities, which drain them unnecessarily. Only we ourselves, with the guidance of our Higher Power, can decide how best to use the strength and energy we have.
Teach me to conserve the resources You have given me.
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One Day At A Time
~ RECOVERY ~
The people who get on in the world are the people
who get up and look for the circumstances they want.
George Bernard Shaw
There was a time, not so long ago, that my life was much different than it is right now. My weight was skyrocketing because my eating compulsion was out of control. I couldn't walk very far without huffing and puffing. My lower back hurt because my stomach pulled my spine out of alignment. My feet and ankles were swollen, my knees hurt, just standing was painful. I was hot all the time because my fat acted as insulation, keeping my body temperature high. My wife was hounding me about losing the weight, my doctor was taking her side, and even the kids at my son's daycare were asking me why I was so big.
I didn't start the recovery process (and it IS a process!) until I got to the point where I was so uncomfortable with myself that I had to do something. It wasn't just that I was physically uncomfortable. I had to get past the comfort zone I had mentally and emotionally set up for myself; I had to get uncomfortable. I had to jump into the unknown, which was the most frightening thing I'd ever done.
Sitting around, moaning about my circumstances and suffering the physical consequences of my weight, didn't get me anywhere. It was only when I became ready to see my life change, mentally, emotionally AND physically, that I began the footwork of this Program. That was the key to the beginning of my recovery, the getting up and actually doing something about it. When I took that first Step, the miracle began.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will take the necessary steps to maintain my
recovery from compulsive eating.
~ JAR ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
Though they knew they must help other alcoholics if they would remain sober, that motive became secondary. It was transcended by the happiness they found in giving themselves for others. - Pg. 159 - A Vision For You
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
We must always fan the flame of inspiration and enthusiasm or our slight hold on sobriety will flicker and fade. We fan the flame by going to meetings, listening to the professionals we hire, choose and use a sponsor, and we must help others.
God, as I understand You, please show me one person I can give an encouraging word to in this hour.
New Life
I can feel my body and my spirit trying to come back to health. I am breathing in and out with relaxed, complete breaths and with each breath I take, I feel more serene. I sense the life within each pore of my body and it feels good, it feels right, it feels alive. My body needed to fall apart a little, it needed to get my attention and tell me it needed tender, loving care. Today, I will pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me it wants and needs and I will give it what it is calling out for.
I listen to what my body is asking for and I do something about it
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Do you think you deserve special treatment because you are clean and sober? Most of us do at one time or another. Treat us special and we feel normal; treat us normal and we feel rejected.
Do I want my ego to be the first thing people see when I walk into a room?
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
People may not always believe what you say, but they will always believe what you do.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I am at choice today. I accept the responsibility of my life with a new sense of maturity, confidence, and even excitement.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
...And the unlived life is not worth examining. - Serenity Sam.
bluidkiti
02-21-2024, 06:58 AM
February 29
Daily Reflections
ONE A.A. MIRACLE
Save for the brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; and at such times a great revulsion has
risen up in him. Seemingly he could not drink even if he would. God had restored his sanity.
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 37
The word "God" was frightening to me when I first saw it associated with A.A.'s Twelve Steps. Having tried all the means I
could to stop drinking, I found that it was not possible for me to sustain that desire over a period of time. Yet, how could I
believe in a "God" that had allowed me to sink to the deep despair that engulfed me--whether drinking or dry?
The answer was in finally admitting that it might be possible for me to know the mercy of a Power greater than myself who
could grant me sobriety contingent on my willingness to "come to believe." By finally admitting that I was one among many,
and by following the example of my sponsor and other A.A. members in practicing faith I did not have, my life has been given
meaning, direction and purpose.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought for the Day
Getting sober was a long and painful journey, but we can truthfully say it was worth it. We know now that all we've been through led us to A.A. and was part of our spiritual journey. We found in A.A. what we had been vainly seeking in the bottle. We've learned that our journey goes on as we continue to deal with our shortcomings and the human problems everybody must face. And when we reach a crossroads or a roadblock, we know that our Higher Power will come to our aid in making the right choices and surmounting all obstacles. Do I turn to my Higher Power to sustain me as I continue the spiritual journey that brought me to A.A.?
Meditation for the Day
As I continue on my spiritual journey, I will seek and follow Divine Guidance and know there is always a place prepared for me. Nothing but my own pride and fear can keep me from my dwelling place with God. I need not strain or struggle to obtain that which God wants me to have. My only responsibility is to accept God's guidance and follow the highest principles in all my affairs.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I'll continue to seek guidance as my spiritual journey continues today. I pray to trust that I am always doing the right thing and am in the right place when my Higher Power is leading me.
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As Bill Sees It
In Partnership, p. 220
As we made spiritual progress, it became clear that, if we ever were
to feel emotionally secure, we would have to put our lives on a
give-and-take basis; we would have to develop the sense of being
in partnership or brotherhood with all those around us. We saw
that we would need to give constantly of ourselves without demand
for repayment. When we persistently did this, we gradually found
that people were attracted to us as never before. And even if
they failed us, we could be understanding and not too seriously
affected.
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The unity, the effectiveness, and even the survival of A.A. will
always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our
personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare.
Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so
does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for A.A.'s
entire Fellowship.
1. 12 & 12, pp. 115-116
2. A.A. Comes Of Age, pp. 287-288
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?Walk in dry Places
Giving the Right Support...............Carrying the message
We're surrounded by people who need help...... financial and otherwise. It is sometimes tempting to believe that we can and should reach out to improve the conditions of their lives. This is not always an easy thing to do, or even a right thing to do. The early AA members who tried this finally decided to limit most of their help simply to carrying the Twelve Step message. While this seemed callous, it was really the only practical approach to a difficult problem.
Many people are able to solve their own financial problems when they really understand and practice the Twelve Step program. If they still need other assistance, it is then given and received in ways that work. In any case, we should always seek guidance and direction from our Higher Power when considering or offering any kind of assistance. We'll then know that any support we give will be the right kind.
I'll be willing today to assist others in any way I can. I will not, however, take responsibility for running their lives.
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Keep It Simple
I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself.----Montaigne
We know we’ve hurt people. We’ve heard our family cry out from pain we’ve caused them. Because of alcohol and other drugs, we acted like monsters.
But we now live surrounded with love. We now work to make this world better. Recovery is a miracle. The rebirth of our spirit is our miracle.
It’s no wonder we love life the way we do! We’ve been given a second chance. Our joy is overflowing. Our Higher Power must love us very much.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me with the monster that lives within me. I pray it will never again be let out.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll see myself as a miracle. I’ll be grateful for my new life.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~ Helen Keller
The next 24 hours are guaranteed to excite us, to lift us to new levels of understanding, to move us into situations with others where we can offer our unique contributions. All that is asked of us is a willingness to trust that we will be given just what we need at each moment.
We can dare to live, fully, just for today. We can appreciate the extraordinariness of every breath we take, every challenge we encounter. Within each experience is the invitation for us to grow, to reach out to others in caring ways, to discover more fully the person we are capable of being. We must not let a single moment go by unnoticed.
When we withdraw from life, we stunt our growth. We need involvement with others, involvement that perturbs us, humors us, even stresses us. We tape our internal resources only when we have been pushed to our limits, and our participation in life gifts us, daily, with that push. How necessary the push!
None of us will pass this way again. What we see and feel and say today are gone forever. We have so much to regret when we let things slip away unnoticed or unappreciated.
A special series of events has been planned for me today. I shall not miss it.
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Chapter 7 - WORKING WITH OTHERS
We seldom allow an alcoholic to live in our homes for long at a time. It is not good for him, and it sometimes creates serious complications in a family.
p. 97
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
Jim's Story
This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people.
Mother was of the old school and figured that anyone I associated with should be of the proper type. Of course, in my day, times had changed; she just hadn't changed with the times. I don't know whether it was right or wrong, but at least I know that people weren't thinking the same. We weren't even permitted to play cards in our house, but Father would give us just a little toddy with whiskey and sugar and warm water now and then. We had no whiskey in the house, other than my father's private stock. I never saw him drunk in my life, although he'd take a shot in the morning and usually one in the evening, and so did I; but for the most part he kept his whisky in his office. The only time that I ever saw my mother take anything alcoholic was around Christmas time, when she would drink some eggnog or light wine.
p. 233
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Eight - "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
Having carefully surveyed this whole area of human relations, and having decided exactly what personality traits in us injured and disturbed others, we can now commence to ransack memory for the people to whom we have given offense. To put a finger on the nearby and most deeply damaged ones shouldn't be hard to do. Then, as year by year we walk back through our lives as far as memory will reach, we shall be bound to construct a long list of people who have, to some extent or other, been affected. We should, of course, ponder and weigh each instance carefully. We shall want to hold ourselves to the course of admitting the things we have done, meanwhile forgiving the wrongs done us, real or fancied. We should avoid extreme judgments, both of ourselves and of others involved. We must not exaggerate our defects or theirs. A quiet, objective view will be our steadfast aim.
pp. 81- 82
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Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th. --J. Andrews
Don't analyze the program, utilize the program.
People may fail you, but the program won't.
This is a program of change and spiritual progress.
Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment. --Ruth Fishel
To be at one with God is to be at peace...
peace is to be found only within,
and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all.
Peace lies not in the external world.
It lies within one's own soul.
--Ralph W. Trine
It is not how much you do, but how much love you put
into the doing and sharing with others that is important.
Try not to judge people.
If you judge others then you are not giving love.
-- Mother Teresa
"Praying is asking God for help, meditating is listening for God's answer."
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
CHANGE
"Nothing stays the same. When you think you've got something down, it changes!" --Leo Booth
Today I am aware that life is about change and even the familiar, at some point in the future, transforms.
When I was drinking, I hated change. I wanted to control everything and everyone; things had to be my way. Naturally, if you
had asked me if I needed to be in charge, I would have replied, "Certainly not!" The addict's disease is fed by illusion and
denial.
Today I take a leap of faith and trust that the Universe will still be around in the morning, and it will probably look much the
same. Today I try to accept, one day at a time, that variety really is the spice of life and that must include the awkward
ingredient of change.
Creator, I accept and welcome the spiritual ingredient of change in my life.
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Truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, "Move from here to there," and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you. Matthew 17:20
Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. James 4:10
Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me, and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:37-39
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity". Colossians 3:13-14
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Daily Inspiration
No situation is too difficult if God is with you. Lord, we are a perfect team. You provide the tools and I provide the labor.
Never doubt the power, the wisdom and the love that God has for you. Lord, thank You for Your constant care and the certainty of Your love for me.
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NA Just For Today
Anything!
“Our disease has been arrested, and now anything is possible. We become increasingly open-minded and open to new ideas in all areas of our lives.”
Basic Text, p. 106
For many of us, our first few months or years in NA are a wonderful time. We’re willing to try anything, and our eyes are constantly opened to new joys and new horizons. Finally freed from active addiction, our recovery young and fresh, anything seems possible.
With a little time clean under our belts, however, there may be less urgency to our program. We might not be quite as willing as we once were to put to use the experience of others. We may have encountered a few seemingly intractable defects in our character, whittling away at the boundless optimism of our early recovery. We know too much to believe that anything is possible.
How do we restore enthusiasm to our recovery? We pray about it; we share about it; and we seek out the enthusiasm we are lacking. There are members—some with more time clean than ourselves, some with less—who have the enthusiasm we seek, and who will be happy to share it with us if we ask them to. To gain the benefit of their experience, however, we must practice open-mindedness and become teachable again. When we become open to new ideas and willing to try them out we’ll find that, once more, anything seems possible.
Just for today: There is always more to learn and someone to learn from in my recovery. Today, I will be open to new ideas and willing to try them out. As long as I am, I know that anything is possible.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them. --Ralph Waldo Emerson
What do we believe? Do we believe in ourselves? Do we believe we have enough time and energy to do what we
need? Or do we believe that things will turn out badly for us? Someone said that fear is faith in the negative. We can
choose to believe the worst will happen, or we can choose to believe we deserve good things. We can believe the
right things will happen at the right time. What we believe becomes true for us because we behave as though it were
true. For this reason, it is wise to choose our beliefs carefully. The more we choose the positive, the more aware we
become that our choices are many.
This means telling ourselves that we're all right just as we are, and acting as though it were true without question.
How can I make my world better today?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Power is strength and the ability to see yourself through your own eyes and not through the eyes of another. It is being
able to place a circle of power at your own feet and not take power from someone else's circle. --Agnes Whistling Elk
Emancipation as adult men, seeing ourselves through our own eyes, is difficult. As children, we could have our
separateness only in small measure. As men, we first bring some boyhood ideas to what we experience. We may be
arrogant, thinking we already know the answers to life's dilemmas; or defiant, thinking we don't want anyone to tell us
what to do; or self-indulgent, grabbing for the greatest pleasure. Those ideas delay seeing ourselves through our own
eyes.
Personal power comes when we listen to ourselves and to others. To be independent of everyone may have been our
youthful idea of power. In manhood, power comes in being open and honest about our dependency, yet knowing we
have no claim on anyone else to make us happy.
I will place a circle of power at my own feet and stand with dignity inside the circle.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy. --Marie Curie
We are looking for progress, not perfection; however, we sometimes get lost or confused between the two. Expecting
ourselves to be perfect at something we are only now learning is a familiar affliction. As we accept our humanness,
we'll allow the mistakes that are a normal part of the process of living and learning--a process we call progress.
Our need to be perfect will lessen with time. And we can help ourselves break the old habits. Perfection and self-worth
are not symbiotic, except in our minds. And it's a symbiosis that has done us a grave injustice. Breaking the old
thought patterns takes a commitment. We must first decide and believe that we are worthwhile, simply because we
are. There is only one of us; we have a particular gift to offer this world. And our being is perfect as is. Affirming this,
repeatedly, is our beginning. But with this, too, progress will be slow; perfection need only be worked for, not achieved.
The patterns I am weaving with my life are complex, full of intricate detail and knots. I need to go slow, taking only one
stitch at a time. With hindsight I will see that whatever the progress, it was the perfect fit to the overall design.
You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
You Are Lovable
We go back and back and back...through the layers of fear, shame, rage, hurt, and negative incantations until we
discover the exuberant, unencumbered, delightful, and lovable child that was, and still is, in us. --Beyond
Codependency
You are lovable. Yes, you.
Just because people haven't been there for you, just because certain people haven't been able to show love for you in
ways that worked, just because relationships have failed or gone sour does not mean that you're unlovable.
You've had lessons to learn. Sometimes, those lessons have hurt.
Let go of the pain. Open your heart to love.
You are lovable.
You are loved.
Today, I will tell myself I'm lovable. I will do this until I believe it.
Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and
more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel
God help me to stay sober and clean today!
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Journey To The Heart
See All the Landscape
Climb to the top of a mountain. What do you see? Valleys as well as mountains.
When you're on top of a mountain, you don't think, This is all there is. Or when you're driving through a hot, dusty
valley, you don't think, This is all there is. You know there is more. You know the truth. Both exist, and more besides.
Life isn't an either/or situation. Don't work so hard forcing everything to be only good, delightful, joyous, or pleasant, for
when you reach the valley, you'll become as miserably certain that life is only pain, sadness, and tragedy. You're
wasting energy when you try to convince yourself that life is only one or the other.
Look around. See all the landscapes-- valleys, oceans, plains, and yes, mountaintops. That's what life is; all of it.
Enjoy the view.
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more language of letting go
Let go of timidity
Live big!
--Brady Michaels
Sometimes, that's the best advice we can hear. Win or lose, succeed or fail, go for it, and go all the way. As my flight
instructor told me on the first day of flying lessons, "Keep one hand on the throttle and one hand on the yoke."
"Aahhhhh!" I would say during my early lessons as the plane lifted into the air, but I kept the throttle pushed all the way
in.
There are times when it's wise to be cautious. And there are times when the best thing we can do-- the only thing we
can do-- is go for it by living big. Ask her out. Request the raise. Say no-- and mean it. Learn to drive a race car or
climb a tall hill. Learn to snorkel or surf. Dreams remain dreams until you act upon them. Then they become real life.
Will you throw a few coins into the beggar's cup, or will you bring him a hamburger and fries from the local fast-food
place? Will you do an average job at work, or will you look for ways to go big-- really give it your best-- in the everyday
areas of your job? Will you put your all-- your heart and emotions-- into the relationship with the people you love? Will
you wait for another more convenient time to pray, or will you start genuinely trusting God?
You don't have to get a life. You've already got one. Live it, and live big.
God, help me let go of my fear and timidity, and learn to live big.
************************************************
Layers of Feeling
Coping with Passive Aggression
Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless and want to avoid their own true feelings.
Many people are taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger,
resentment, fear, and sorrow. Those who cannot or will not express these emotions tend to engage in passive-
aggressive behaviors that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings. Passive aggression can take many
forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn’t say no when
they meant it. Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel.
More often than not, such behavior is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance.
When we recognize passive-aggressive patterns in the behavior of others, we should never allow ourselves to be
drawn into a struggle for power. Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of
what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings. They feel they are
in control because they do not display overt emotion and often cannot understand how they have alienated their peers.
If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that
their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us. When we feel
slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why. And
when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they
are unwilling to be of service.
As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself. Coping with the natural
human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is
healthy. The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and
your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behavior is a means of avoiding change. When you deal
constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored
emotion. Published with permission from Daily OM
************************************************
A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
Just for today, I'll not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless fears, I'll track them down and expose
their unreality. I'll remind myself that God is in charge of me and my life, and that all I have to do is accept His
protection and guidance. What happened yesterday need not trouble me today. Do I accept the fact that it's in my
power to make today a good one just by the way I think about it and what I do about it?
Today I Pray
May I make today a good day. May I know that it is up to me to assign to it qualities of goodness, through a positive
attitude toward what the present is providing. May I be untroubled by vestiges of yesterday. Please, God, remain
close to me all through this day.
Today I Will Remember
To make it good.
************************************************
One More Day
Once you have experienced the seriousness of your loss you will be able to experience the wonder of being alive. --
Robert Veninga
Age and illness force us to come to terms with the sometimes harsh reality of being human. When someone close to
us dies, we may be overwhelmed with sadness. We might grieve over and over until it seems we can grieve no more.
And then we begin to heal. Granted, it takes time and a good bit of faith, but we do recover. Slowly. One day at a
time.
Many of us have experienced sorrow over changes in our health. With time and faith, however, we're learning that the
anger and sadness also heal. And eventually we recognize that our experience has made us more sensitive, more
caring, and more receptive to the gift of life.
I will grieve my losses and then move, once again, into a fulfilling, joyful life.
*****************************************
One Day At A Time
~ Patience ~
There is no fruit which is not bitter
before it is ripe.
Publilius Syrus
There are some things in life you simply cannot rush. In the early stages of my disease, I went through life like a steam roller ... impatiently starting one project after another. If there was something in my life that depended on the actions of another for resolution, it was excruciating while waiting on the decision. As a result, sometimes decisions were forced. I have made many bad decisions because of lack of patience.
I have learned that sometimes we have to turn decisions over to others ... we have to let go and let others take control. We must wait it out and hope that our decision to let go was a good one. Many times it is. Sometimes it isn't.
I have become a very patient person ... and sometimes that is to my detriment. It can be hard to find a middle ground in the decision making process. Snap decisions aren't good. Neither are those we sit on forever.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will patiently wait on my Higher Power
to direct me ... to guide me ...
and to help me with the decisions I must make.
~ Mari ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
"Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help." Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
When our muscles tighten, we get tense, headachy; when we sweat, feel like screaming, this is withdrawal; it is not fun. But in order to recover, the poisons must leave our body. We stay close to the Fellowship and ask God to help.
Please help me one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time if need be.
Patience with Myself
Today, I will be patient with myself. When I do not do as well as I wish I would, I will not make that a reason to get down on myself. I will instead recognize that the fastest way to bring myself out of a painful funk is through understanding and being good to myself. I needn’t get caught in my own cycle of shame, resentment and blame. If a child is upset, I comfort the child because I understand that is what will makes things better. I give myself the same comfort that I would extend to a hurt child knowing that it will help me have the strength to forgive and move on
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
Often the shadow of addiction falls across out good intentions. It is so hard to stay sober and clean at times. This is not a picnic for us. When it gets unbearable, ASK FOR HELP from a recovering fellow addict, your counselor, your pastor or your group.
The Divine gently nudges me to ask for help, as I need it.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
Don’t tell your Higher Power how big the problem is; tell the problem how big your Higher Power is.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
I am exactly where I am supposed to be today.
Everything about this day, this place, this moment is perfect.
Everything about me is perfect in this moment.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
Worrying is like being in a rocking chair; it gives me something to do but it doesn’t get me anywhere. – Anon.
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