One Day At A Time - April

[yukonm]

April 1

HAPPINESS

Happiness is an achievement brought about by inner productiveness.
People succeed at being happy by building a liking for themselves.

Erich Fromm



It has been said that if one of us ever treated another human being the way we treated ourselves, we would be liable for criminal charges. I did not treat myself as a friend, someone I loved; I constantly fed into my unhappiness.

Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill W. was asked, shortly before he died, to sum up the program in the lowest common denominator. He replied, "Get right with yourself, with God, then with your neighbor." Therefore, it stands to reason that I must start making friends with myself. I must treat myself with love and dignity, and the result will be happiness. To be happy, joyous, and free is the by-product of obedience to the program.


One Day at a Time . . .
Am I going to try being happy?
Am I going to make friends with myself?
If not today, when?

~ Jeremiah ~

[bluidkiti]

April 2

~ Love ~

There is only one happiness in life ... to love and be loved.

George Sand



It took me many, many years to really and truly discover what turned out to be something that I have yearned for all of my life. That "something" was love ~ both the ability to love and to accept love.


As a child, I felt I had to achieve to be loved and, in the process of achieving, lost a great deal of my childhood. This carried over to adulthood and thus began the years of doing what was expected of me (or so I thought) in order to be loved, valued and respected.


Recovery has taught me so much about myself and about love. One of the greatest truths I have learned about myself and my ability to love is that for me to love someone, it is not necessary that they love me back. My loving someone else never depends on their loving me ... but how wonderful it is when they do.



One Day at a Time . . .
Let me realize that love is something that just happens ... I can't make it happen ... and I can't stop it from happening.

~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

April 3

~ The Future ~

When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes.

Oprah Winfrey



I receive the gift of abstinence one day at a time. I am relieved from the obsession to eat one day at a time. With the help of my Higher Power, I can live life on life's terms... one day at a time.


As my recovery builds and builds, I start to imagine all the possibilities for my life. Things I never had the confidence or emotional stability to pursue are options for me. Now that I am free from the despair and self-destruction of overeating, there is space to actualize new adventures. But before I become overwhelmed or grandiose in my thinking, the Program gently reminds me that it is STILL just one day a time.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program so that I have a future.

~ Christine S. ~

[yukonm]

April 4

~ Commitment ~

Shallow men believe in luck ~
Strong men believe in cause and effect.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



Abstinence did not happen for me until I made a commitment to it. I realized that I would have abstinence until something was a bit too uncomfortable for me to face or feel. Then I would have a slip. So it became a game for me. Was this event or circumstance enough to justify another slip? Sure, why not? That's the nature of the disease. Everything and anything was an excuse to eat.


It wasn't until I made a commitment to abstinence that I was forced to find my solutions in the Twelve Steps and really let go of my addiction. I'm grateful to my Higher Power that I hit the bottom I did. By accepting the truth about myself and my food addiction, I am now free to live in the solution.



One Day at a Time . . .
I will renew my commitment by receiving the gift of abstinence and practicing my program to the best of my ability.

~ Christine S. ~

[yukonm]

April 5

~ Acceptance ~

Until you make peace with who you are,
you will never be content with what you have.

Doris Mortman



Through abstinence and recovery, I can begin to accept myself. I can pay attention to my likes and my dislikes as I continue to grow and learn about me. Learning about myself is a new adventure. There are so many layers that have been hidden under years of food abuse and weight obsession. Exploring and discovering the new me requires a lot of acceptance. There are parts of me that I do not like, and there are also wonderful surprises. By accepting all parts of myself, I am honoring my Higher Power and demonstrating spiritual recovery.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will accept myself. By learning to accept myself, I will find myself growing in my acceptance of others.

~ Christine S. ~

[yukonm]

April 6

~ Courage ~

It takes a lot of courage
to show your dreams to someone else.

Erma Bombeck



I remember first starting my Twelve Step program. I had lots of expectations and dreams, but I couldn't talk to anyone about them. I thought my dreams were stupid and that nobody there really cared about who I was or what I wanted to achieve.


This is a big problem with all of us compulsive overeaters. We all have hopes and dreams of losing our impulse to eat all the time, and of losing our excess weight. Thinking we're not worth anyone's time keeps us strong in our addiction.


As we work through the Steps and learn to trust our new family of choice, we get the courage to begin to open up and share our dreams and hopes. We all find our hidden courage by praying and trusting our Higher Power. We find the courage to tell people about ourselves and trust that nobody will put us down for our past or for the future we dream of achieving. Our dreams have no time limit; they don't have to happen immediately. They may happen immediately, or it may take a long time of struggling, but as long as we have hope and courage, they will become a reality in Higher Power's time.



One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that we learn that, together, things become much easier. As we share our experience, strength and dreams with others, they will help us learn how we can work with a special program and plan. With Higher Power and our recovery friends, our courage grows stronger, and we find we can and will succeed.

~ Jeanette ~

[yukonm]

April 7

~ Higher Power ~

If you spend all your time looking for Him,
you might miss Her when She shows up.

Neale Donald Walsch



Our program of recovery teaches us that we each must lean on a Higher Power. This Higher Power is also known as "the God of my understanding." There is nothing in this Twelve Step program of ours that says that my Higher Power must be the same as your Higher Power. For some, the Higher Power in their life is a deity. The program itself, or a weekly meeting, might be the Higher Power for someone else. It doesn't matter what or who each person has for a Higher Power.


Recovery is possible for everyone. Those who believe in one God can come together with those who believe in many Gods, or maybe no God at all. The atheist has just as much chance of recovery as a very religious person. The beauty of this program is that it works for everybody, regardless of their approach to the spiritual aspect. That is why it is imperative that we accept each other's ideas of a Higher Power. What works for one individual might not work for another. But one thing is sure ... the program that works if you work it, regardless of which Higher Power you decide on.



One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program with my Higher Power, the God of my understanding, and allow others to work their program with the God of their understanding.

~ Jeff ~

[yukonm]

April 8

~ Willingness ~

I cannot change what I am unwilling to face.

James Baldwin



Before I found this program I was locked in a battle with myself. I knew I was eating too much, and I couldn't help myself. I tried to control my eating, and for a while, I was able to keep the upper hand. Then something would happen in my life, and I'd lose that control.


I couldn't face the fact that I was a compulsive eater. I couldn't bear to think that I had a disease that kept me in bondage to food. So during the time I was in denial about my eating, I continued sinking deeper into my disease of compulsion. I sought comfort in food, and did some serious damage to my body, to my self-esteem, and to my relationships.


It was only after I hit bottom that I realized that I had to face the facts. I had a disease that had me in a death grip, and there wasn't one thing I could do about it. When I found this program, I found hope. I discovered a Higher Power who could help me do what I'd never been able to do before. I slowly began to see the changes I'd tried all my life to effect on my own. But it didn't happen until I became willing to face the truth, until I became willing to ask God for help.



One Day at a Time . . .
I am willing to face my disease
and let my Higher Power help me overcome it.

~ Jeff ~

[yukonm]

April 9

~ Feelings ~

Few are those who see with their own eyes
and feel with their own hearts.

Albert Einstein



Before working the Twelve Step program, one reason I used to overeat was that I couldn't manage my feelings. My feelings were overwhelming and incapacitating to me. I would also overreact to feelings and this would make them truly more than I could handle. So I would then overeat to make the feelings stop. I would stuff myself, to stuff them down!


In working the Twelve Step program, I got a chance to work through past hurts and resentments that intensified my feelings. I learned to feel my feelings, just as they are, and how to stop overreacting to them. I learned to sort through messages my family gave me about feelings, that it's not okay to have or feel or express them. I learned to decide what is true for me, today, about feelings. I also worked through my codependency issues and learned how to communicate feelings in an appropriate, effective and loving way.


Now feelings are a part of my life and not something overwhelming and incapacitating. In fact, they have become something beautiful that enrich my life and give it color and texture and even pleasure.


One Day at a Time . . .
I honor the blessing of having my feelings returned to me. I enjoy them, and I respect my feelings and those of others. I thank my Higher Power for this wonderful gift.

~ Lynne ~

[yukonm]

April 10

~ Aging ~

Those who love deeply never grow old;
they may die of old age, but they die young.

Benjamin Franklin



I used to be afraid of getting older. I was also afraid to become friends with older people, because I would come to love them and then they would die. I could not handle unpleasant feelings (other than if I overate to stop feeling them) because the feeling of unpleasantness would totally devastate me.


In working the Twelve Step program, my Higher Power has brought me great recovery in this area ... I am now able to handle the grief and sorrow that come up when I allow myself to get to know and love older people and then they die. I am now free in this area! I get to enjoy the wisdom and beauty that they have to share, from all their life experiences, and from the beautiful people they are!


Another beautiful gift from my Higher Power came when I started relating to older people again. When the first one died, it really threw me, and I was very sad. But I got up the next day and had a great spiritual awakening: this person was missing and that was sad, but I looked around and saw all the other wonderful people still there in my life, with whom I got to share another day! Life suddenly became much more precious to me ... to have one more day to be with and share with someone who touches my soul!


One Day at a Time . . .
I enjoy myself as I become older. I allow myself to enjoy friendships with those who are older than me. I thank my Higher Power for every day and every moment of precious life!

~ Lynne ~

[yukonm]

April 11

~ Meditation ~

When you are with others, be with them wholeheartedly.
But when you are by yourself, be alone with God.

Paramahansa Yogananda



When I pray to the God of my understanding, I am able to share my thoughts, to vent my feelings, to express my gratitude. But it isn't enough for me to speak to God. I also need to listen. That's where meditation comes in.


Sometimes I select a passage from program literature to meditate on. I read the passage, and then sit quietly and allow my Higher Power to help me make connections between what I've read and the life I'm leading.


Other times, I will pick a word or phrase, like "love" or "peace" and repeat it, over and over, in my mind. I allow myself to align with the feeling of that word.


I may picture a serene place, and mentally go there, to rest and regroup from the pressures of the day.


I also will sometimes sit quietly, "in the silence," as the Quakers say. I listen to my breath moving in and out of my body, and I allow my Higher Power to speak to my heart.


No matter which meditation practice I select, the important thing for me is to do it faithfully, every day, and to totally give myself to it. I figure, if God can give to me, then I can give a little of myself back to the One who has blessed me with this program.




One Day at a Time . . .
I will spend some quiet time alone with my Higher Power, and listen to that still, small voice within.

~ Jeff ~

[yukonm]

April 12

~ Recovery ~

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Fannie Lou Hamer



I used to get so disgusted with myself. I was sick and tired of trying to lose weight because I always failed. I had lost weight several times but I would still feel ugly, fat and unacceptable to everybody else. The sickness and tiredness remained because I had not changed anything inside my head, just my body size! My past was still there and it continued to haunt me, and I was filled with the guilt and shame of the past.

A friend told me about this great program where I could discover what was really making me sick and how I could recover. She said, "You will have someone with you to help continually 24 hours a day, seven days a week."

"How can this be?" I asked.


She said, "Well, this wonderful program helps you recover by teaching you what really has been bothering you. Maybe it's things you are sorry you did or didn't do in the past, people you've hurt or who have hurt you."

"Do I need to leave home or pay a lot of money?" I asked.

She said, "No. You work it at home, at work and everywhere you go. The cost is nothing, except a desire to stop eating compulsively. Your continual help is your Higher Power and he never goes to sleep, he listens and helps you when you ask for his help."

"Wow, you mean I don't have to be sick and tired any more?"

"That's right and all it takes is Twelve small but important Steps, a lot of love, hugs, acceptance, trust and sincere honesty. It's easy and works as long as you work it."

One Day at a Time . . .
I don't need to be sick and tired of myself any more. I have a wonderful program with a lot of tools, friends and my Higher Power to help me. I can achieve recovery one day at a time ... it's a matter of progress, not perfection.

~ Jeanette ~

[yukonm]

April 13

~ BE STILL ~

Be still, and know that I am God.

The Bible, Book of Psalms



I don't always know what "normal" is. I'm learning that my disease keeps me from having a normal relationship with food, but I also know that there are times when my feelings and thoughts are due to normal circumstances. I might not feel well physically, I could be fatigued from a demanding task, or I might simply be having an off day. There are normal reactions to these situations and I can feel them. Not everything is caused by my disease!

However, the way I handle these kinds of experiences can very much be affected by my disease. On those bad days, I don't have to make important decisions and I don't have to filter experiences through these thoughts and feelings. I can postpone things until I'm on a more even keel and, just for today, take care of myself and do the next right thing.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am grateful for the ways I am "normal" and thank God for the knowledge that I don't have to let my disease make me think everything about me is "sick." Let me simply be still on those uneven days and know that God is God and He is there.

~ Sandee S. ~

[yukonm]

April 14

FEARLESS

“As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind,
as we discovered we could face life successfully,
as we became conscious of His presence,
we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.”
The Big Book


I refuse to be frightened to the point of missing the opportunities my Higher Power has provided for me. I will no longer hurt myself by avoiding being hurt. When I avoid risks because I'm afraid the outcome will be painful, I am stuck – not safe.

By working my program I have discovered that many times when I'm engulfed in fear, I am not trusting my Higher Power. The more I practice the Serenity Prayer, the more serene I become. From my new perspective I can see numerous occasions in which my Higher Power did things for me which I could not do by myself. Possibly a doomed relationship I couldn't end, and my Higher Power ended for me by having the other person walk away. Maybe a financial crisis that was suddenly alleviated from an unexpected source. How about the ability to detach from a loved one's issues without feeling responsible for "fixing" everything or taking their struggles personally. In order to surrender my control over these things, I choose to be fearless in trusting my Higher Power.

Today I will be grateful even for the painful times because sometimes they are the lesser of two hurts: the easiest being when God steps in to protect me, and the hardest being when my will prevents me from letting go of something that isn't good for me.

One day at a time...
I will trust my Higher Power and know that where I am today is right where I need to be. I don't have to have all the answers.


~ Sandee S.

[yukonm]

April 15

~ Success ~

I have begun everything with the idea that I could succeed, and I never had much patience with the multitudes of people who are always ready to explain why one cannot succeed. I have always had a high regard for the man who could tell me how to succeed.

Booker T. Washington



The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is my main source of inspiration when it comes to recovery issues. It's proven to be a valuable asset to my program.

I've learned from the Big Book that recovery from any compulsive disease is possible. We are given Twelve Steps to follow, and told that if we do what our predecessors did, then we WILL recover. We have to be willing to go to any length to succeed. We have to do the footwork. The people who don't succeed in this program are the ones who don't avail themselves of all the help that's available to them. They don't read the literature, they don't go to meetings, they don't do service ... they don't do what those who have gone before have done. So they wallow in their disease instead of recovering.

There's a reason why we're told, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path." That means the program works IF you work it. Those who don't work the program don't recover. That's a pretty powerful statement, but it's true, and for some reason, a lot of compulsive people just don't get it. They keep doing the same old things and getting the same old results. In the process, they remain fully in the grip of their disease. Sure, recovery is a miracle, but it won't fall into your lap. You need to work for it, and by the grace of the God of your understanding, you'll receive the miracle.

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that it's not enough to talk the talk; I need to walk the walk if I want to recover.

~ Jeff ~

[yukonm]

April 16

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.”
Kahlil Gibran



How many of us in recovery thought we were in pain before seeking help, only to find that recovery itself was even more painful? I know that is how my progress in Twelve Step recovery from compulsive eating has been. Fortunately, pain in recovery doesn’t break my spirit the way pain did before I started working the Twelve Steps. As I work my recovery, the walls that I had built for protection around my inner-spirit are being slowly broken down and moved away.

This changing and renewing of my inner-self is extremely painful at times. If I didn’t have the tools of the program, (such as sponsorship, a food plan, working the Steps, and conscious contact with my Higher Power) there would be no understanding born out of my pain. Before recovery, the pain would start to fill my inner-shell with self-pity, self-disgust and despair. Now when the pain comes to me, I’ve slowly learned to embrace it and hold it close to my heart. This new pain means that I will be shown by my Higher Power the insight and understanding needed for me to continue this daily recovery process. Does this mean I am filled with joy as I see the pain coming? Absolutely not! This means that I now have a power greater than myself to shield me from the pain that would break me. After feeling the pain needed to give me understanding, I am given healing to continue my journey.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will seek to feel and face the pain on this journey, knowing that understanding and healing will follow through my Higher Power's hand.

~ Ohitika

[yukonm]

April 17

~ FORGIVENESS

Forgiving is not forgetting; it's letting go of the hurt.
Mary McCleod Bethune


When I first came into the program, I was so fired up with anger and resentment that I had no space for any other emotions. After all, I had the food which would anesthetize me against any emotions I didn't want to feel. I was angry with God for all the trauma and losses that had happened to me in my life. I blamed my mother for not being the kind of mother I wanted, which was, of course, why I ate. But the person towards whom I felt the most anger and resentment was my ex-husband, who never financially supported my children, making my financial burden and my present husband's very heavy. What made it worse was that he was good to the children and they thought he was great because they would have fun with him on a weekend, while we had all the financial responsibilty and resulting worry.

But when I came to Step Eight, my sponsor gently reminded me that I needed to forgive the people towards whom I felt the most anger, namely my mother and my ex-husband. My mother had passed away and so I had to write a long letter to her, forgiving her for not being the person I wanted her to be and also making amends to her for my part in it all. I realize now that she did the best she knew how, just as I have done with my children, and I have been able to forgive her with love. When it came to forgiving my ex-husband, I knew that I wasn't able forgive him in person, but I was able to write a letter to him which I never sent. In it, I forgave him for being the irresponsible person that he is. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When my younger daughter had her 21st birthday, I could be there for her and not spoil it as I had done before, and in fact, I could be almost friendly to her father. As a result, the relationship with all my children has improved a hundredfold, but more importantly, I'm a much better person for it.

One day at a time...
I will forgive the people who have harmed me, let them go with love, and entrust them to their Higher Power.


~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

April 18

~ UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ~

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love,
which includes not only others but ourselves as well.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


I don't think I knew what unconditional love was before I came into the program. After all, I had always felt that my mother had only loved and accepted me conditionally, and that in order for me to receive approval and love from her, I had to be the best at everything I did. I had to be at the top of the class, win prizes for ballet and in general be a credit to her, so that she could bask in the reflected limelight. Perhaps that was only my perception. But as a result, I wrote a script for myself that, in order to be loved, accepted and lovable, I had to excel at everything. I became an overachiever academically, I had to be the best wife, best mother, best cook, in short, the best everything. No wonder I had to eat to cope with all this self-inflicted pressure.

The unconditional love and acceptance I received when I first came into these program rooms was something I had never experienced before. "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself," they said. This was something totally foreign to me. How could I be lovable when I was fat and bloated? How could they love me when I hated myself for all the secret eating that caused me to feel totally miserable? But love me they did, and that was the beginning of my healing. At one stage fairly early in my recovery, one of my daughters accused me of being so busy going to meetings and doing courses and learning to love myself, that I was too busy to love them. How wrong she was! It was only when I had learned enough self- love and approval of myself, exactly as I was, that I was able to love all my children fully and unconditionally.

I am now able to love and accept all my children exactly as they are. None of them are perfect, as I am not, but they are special in their own right, and I love them for who they are and not for anything they do or don't do.

One day at a time...
I practice being warm and accepting of all those I love,
as I accept and love myself for being who I am today - a child of God


~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

April 19

~ HAPPINESS ~

The greatest happiness you can have
is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness.

William Saroyan



How many times during my life have I said that all I want is "just to be happy." We are told early on that our legacy is "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Did you notice that our forefathers used the word "pursuit?" How very wise they were.

Happiness is not automatic. Life is difficult and it's supposed to be that way. If we expect happiness and we expect life to be easy, at some point in time we are going to be very disappointed. I thought eating food made me happy and it did ... for a short time. There were other temporary compulsions in my life that made me think I was happy ~ but again for only a short time.

As I began to work the Steps, I began to desire something other than happiness. I found myself yearning for serenity ... and I found it. The way I found it was by not expecting the world and everyone in it to make me happy. I learned that life was more of an adventure than a bowl of cherries. I learned that the more I expected from people, places and things, the more disappointed I was ... and the more disappointed I became, the less happy I was.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will not require happiness. But when I least expect it .... happiness will find me.

~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

April 20

~ THE PRESENT MOMENT ~

How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now,
and there will never be a time when it is not now.

Gerald Jampolsky



During my many years of life as an compulsive eater, I thought happiness was something that was the privilege of other people. I could not imagine that happiness would be a part of my life. All I really wanted was to lose weight.

My issues with food and weight colored everything else. I always thought the biggest weight I carried was physical in nature. When I accepted the fact that I have a disease, and the weight I carried was physical, emotional and spiritual, my life began to change immeasurably. As I took the Steps to recovery, I began to experience healing on all three levels. I began to see life differently, and to live life in a whole new way.

Before recovery, I could not see the precious moment of the present. My eyes were focused on regret of the past, and fear of the future. I totally missed the complete joy of each present moment. Recovery has helped me to clear up weight I carried from my past, and to eliminate my fear of the future; replacing fear with faith. As I live in recovery, I can choose to be present in each moment, and enjoy the wonder and delight that is the gift of life.


One Day at a Time . . .
I choose to live in the present moment ... and to embrace the happiness found there.

~ Cate ~

[yukonm]

April 21

~ RELIGION ~

Religion is for people who don't want to go to hell.
Program is for people who have already been there.

Unknown



I was religious when I came into program and I was ready and willing to tell everyone what the "true" faith was. I went to church every Sunday. I was a religion teacher. I knew it all.

The truth is I didn't know ANYTHING. It didn't take long for me to begin to question my own religiosity. In fact, it began at Steps two and three. Before long, I wondered if there was a God at all. If there was, is God a He, a She or an It? Then I decided, yes there was a God, but did He/She/It care about me?

The real truth is God is who God needs to be to work through me. There's no right or wrong answer to my questions. What I DO know is that God loves me just the way I am.

The greatest gift my Higher Power gave me came on the day I looked up to "heaven" and told God, "I don't believe in You!" And that still, quiet voice inside of me asked, "Then to Whom are you speaking?"

One Day at a Time . . .
I don't have to have theological "proof" that there is a Power greater than myself. I just need to believe.

~ Debbie ~

[yukonm]

April 22

COMPULSIONS

“Compulsive urges to overeat, gorge or purge
are inadequate coping mechanisms.
Compulsion is loss of control
and continuation of the behavior
despite the consequences.”
Gloria Arenson



Compulsive overeating is not a moral dilemma. It is not about “right” or “wrong.” It is not a black-and-white situation. I learned at a pre-verbal stage that compulsive overeating is a coping mechanism. When I cried to be held, I was fed. When I cried because I was wet, I was fed. When I cried because I was in pain, I was fed. When life was good, I was fed. Is it any wonder I came to reach for food when life was happening around me?

This program teaches me better ways to cope with life. Instead of reacting to life, I have learned through the Steps how to take action. I did not choose this disease, but I do choose recovery. Through the help of my Higher Power, the program, and other program members I can recover. I can live in the solution one day at a time and one meal at a time.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will have a program. I choose recovery, health, love and life.

~ Sarah H.

[yukonm]

April 23

~ BIRTHRIGHT ~

I've continued to recognize the power individuals have
to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant.
I've learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us,
merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright.

Anthony Robbins



I have divine origins because I am part of my Higher Power. Whether I see my Higher Power as a male, female or neither; no matter if I experience my Higher Power as a Heavenly Parent, a Divine Friend, or a Great Spirit; whether I find my Higher Power in a temple, in the mountains, or in my child's eyes ... I am connected to something greater than myself, my problems, and my fears. The who, what, where, when, and how of my Higher Power are not important. I don't have to completely understand HP because my HP understands me.

I have been endowed with all the things I need to be successful in recovery and in life. All I have to do is step up and claim them. I have intellect, I have emotion, and I have a spirit. All of those things have a direct line to my Higher Power. What I can't yet access is given to me as a gift when I claim my divine birthright by simply saying, "I can't. You can. I think I'll let You." What greater power is there than to give our power to our Higher Power? Knowing when I can't do it alone is a gift!

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember I come from royalty. I will remember my divine birthright and step up to claim it. Today I will not sell my divine birthright for a mess of pottage.

~ Sandee ~

[yukonm]

April 24

~ Loneliness ~

Feeling our loneliness magnifies it.
Understanding our loneliness can open doors into our self-awareness,
which we long for and need.

Anthony Robbins



Before I found my Twelve Step program, I felt so lonely. I was stuck in total isolation and the feeling of loneliness felt one hundred times worse. The isolation and loneliness caused me to continually eat ... and so I'd isolate more. What a vicious cycle!

When I found my recovery program, I still wanted to isolate. When going to meetings, I wanted the seat with nobody around it. I didn't want to open my mouth to share or talk, even after the meeting. I kept coming back even though I felt alone, because I heard familiar things that really interested me. I eventually saw that most of the people in the room felt the same loneliness I did. I began to understand why I felt so lonely.

When I understood that my compulsive eating was causing me to isolate and be more lonely, a big burden was lifted off my shoulders. I finally felt some hope! Then I found that there were many other doors in the past that I should open and become more aware of. These past happenings were what started and fueled this disease of compulsive eating. I wanted to know but I was also afraid to find out.

The similarities, kindness and love I found in the rooms made it easier to look at my past. Understanding that I was not the total reason for my loneliness, I began making amends. I needed to forgive others who had harmed me and those I had harmed. I felt lighter and more self aware, and confidence began to emerge.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that it's okay and good to feel my feelings but they don't have to rule my life. I don't have to let loneliness magnify, causing me to eat uncontrollably to solve the problem. I've learned to turn things over to my Higher Power and to let them go. Looking back is the key to my self-awareness and my recovery.

~ Jeanette ~

[yukonm]

April 25

~ Understanding ~

Understanding is the wellspring of life.

The Bible, Book of Proverbs



Early on in my recovery I became aware that understanding myself and my disease was going to be a tool of success. For many years I lived day after day in my addiction, bemoaning it, suffering in it, struggling against it, and adopting the world view of my condition. I came to believe that losing weight was the answer to all my problems ... if I could stick to a diet. Because I couldn't, the thoughts of worthlessness, ignorance, shame and guilt were repeatedly reinforced.

In working the Steps, the idea of recovery through understanding myself was born. Through knowledge of my Higher Power, and by His guidance, the understanding of my past and my present have given me keys to freedom from compulsive overeating. I welcome working the Steps because they have opened doors of my heart to mend the past and receive hope for the future. Understanding who I am and why I'm like I am, allows me to be abstinent and to develop new ways of coping with the stresses of life. Understanding the disease frees me from guilt and shame and releases self-acceptance.

One Day at a Time . . .
I continue to seek knowledge and understanding as a way to recovery.


~ Diane ~

[yukonm]

April 26

Forgiveness

“You keep carryin’ that anger, it’ll eat you up inside.”

Don Henley



I have been carrying around so much anger in my life that it has fanned the flames of my addiction. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel the anger because I was afraid it would overwhelm me. I used food and other substances to stuff it down and the anger became rage and turned inward as depression. My compulsive eating spiraled out of control.

Many things have happened to me to justify the anger I’ve been carrying. Healthy anger indicates that someone has violated my boundaries or placed me in an untenable position. Anger that is felt and then released is a healthy emotion. But anger that is stuffed is toxic and will surely corrode my spirit and trap me even further in the cycle of addiction.

I have learned through the Twelve Steps that forgiveness is the only path to letting go of toxic anger. Forgiveness does not mean excusing others’ abusive behavior nor accepting my abusers back into my life. Forgiveness happens when I allow myself to feel and work through my anger, and then release it to my Higher Power. Forgiveness is self-love.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will feel and express my healthy anger and strive for forgiveness.


~ Suzanne

[yukonm]

April 27

~ RELATIONSHIPS ~

And let there be no purpose in friendship
save the deepening of Spirit.

Kahlil Gibran



My initial experience of relationships in recovery was one of wonder and relief. I was so amazed to find that there actually were other people who understood life as I lived it! Until I walked into the rooms of recovery, I felt so alone and different from other people. Finding people who had also lived the nightmare of compulsive eating, helped my isolation fade away. Seeing that they had found a new way of living gave me hope!!

As I began to share more deeply with my sponsor and other people in recovery, I discovered a deeper gift of friendship in recovery. I received unconditional love and focused guidance toward the steps of recovery which would transform me completely. This was the greatest gift of relationship that I had ever known. This was the beginning of the transformation that invited me to share the Spirit of recovery with others.

As I carry the principles of recovery into all aspects of my life, I find my relationships with all people are transformed. My character defects no longer stand in the way of my honesty, and fear no longer holds me prisoner. The Spirit of recovery which has been so generously shared with me, continues to be shared joyously through me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will be carried by the Spirit of recovery into all of my relationships.

~ Cate ~

[yukonm]

April 28

~ UNITY ~

Separate needs are weak and easily broken;
but bound together they are strong and hard to tear apart.

The Midrash, Judaic Text



For most of my life before coming into the program, I was a bit of a loner. I never had a lot of friends, perhaps because of my feelings of inadequacy, and was never good at sports, especially team sports. So I buried myself a lot in books, in academic achievements at which I excelled, mainly because I could do that on my own. I lived in a fantasy world where a knight in shining armor would come and rescue me, and my life would then be perfect. I had never even had a serious long-term relationship until I met my first husband, so it was hardly surprising that I made a bad choice and after having three children and much heartache, got divorced.

When I first came into program, it was the first time I had ever felt part of a big group, and most importantly they all spoke my language. Their experiences were my experiences. These wonderful people became my family. There was, and still is, for me an incredible sense of belonging in the fellowship. No longer do I have to brave it on my own as there will always be someone on the other end of the line or in a meeting who can identify and share with me what I am going through. The strength that I feel when I come into the meeting rooms or speak to a fellow member on the phone is a powerful sustaining force for me that has helped me through countless difficult situations and continues to do so.

One Day at a Time . . .
I only need to reach out and join hands with others in the fellowship to gain the strength to do things I could never do before. It is only with their help, support and love that I am fully able to recover.

~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

April 29

~ GOODNESS ~

Above all, let us never forget that an act of goodness
is in itself an act of happiness.

Count Maurice Maeterlinck



While in the disease, most of the goodness I tried to do was for ulterior motives. It was only in recovery that I learned to give unselfishly and without strings to help another. In doing so, I have found happiness beyond measure. I can create my own happiness in the service of my Higher Power and other compulsive over-eaters. I can make the promise of a "new happiness and a new freedom" come true.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will do acts of goodness.

~ Judy N. ~

[yukonm]

April 30

~ SPIRITUAL RECOVERY ~

There is a time to let things happen
and a time to make things happen.



Hugh Prather



One of the many facets of the disease of compulsive overeating, in my experience, has been the inability to make a positive change in my choice of foods without using the spiritual steps of recovery. Prior to coming into program, I would plan, pray, and write down what I wanted to do, but change never happened permanently. Looking back, it seems that I was really trying to make things happen, but I was trying to do it without the spiritual guidance and strength of this program through my Higher Power. I didn't have all the spiritual pieces needed to make the almost impossible changes inside myself before the physical changes could happen.

There are many tools of the program, such as sponsorship, a food plan, food abstinence, and practicing the spiritual program through actively working the Twelve Steps. I have learned through failure that I must actively work the steps of the program. I can't just let things happen in my recovery in regard to step work, because then the disease will win. When I daily commit to working the steps to the best of my ability, this brings me the spiritual recovery that allows physical and emotional recovery as well. I cannot make the spiritual recovery happen, since that action belongs only to my Higher Power. What I can do is to take the action by doing the step work, and from there leave the outcome in my Higher Power's hands.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will strive to work the Twelve Steps to the best of my ability, and let things happen in my Higher Power's time.


~ Ohitika ~