More Recovery Readings - April

[bluidkiti]

April 1

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Then Bacchus. . .gave him the choice of making a wish come true. . . . So Midas said, "Make everything I touch turn gold." --Ovid
Poor King Midas, already rich as a king, was made poorer by his poor wish. Everything he touched--small shoots, wet clay, a ripe head of wheat, apples from a tree--all suddenly went bad, turned into gold, pure gold. And how could he eat when bread and fruits, even fresh running water, suddenly shined at him, yellow, hard, and cold? He could have wished for a wiser, smaller success. He could have had all familiar things turn kind at his touch, or loving and good. Then imagine how he would have touched everyone he came near.
If some wishes are too good to be true, are others too bad?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Any idea, person or object can be a Medicine Wheel, a mirror for man. The tiniest flower can be such a mirror, as can a wolf, a story, a touch, a religion, or a mountaintop. --Hyemeyohsts Storm
The ancient spiritual teachings of the Cheyenne Indians tell us that we meet ourselves in almost everything we confront. A group of men spending a night on a mountaintop will each have a different experience. One may be overcome with a sense of awe, another may spend every moment gripped by fear, and another may sleep the night away. While the mountain is the same, each has brought himself to it and has a different experience. When we meet an animal, feel a touch, or take a hike down the street, we see a reflection of ourselves and of humanity.
This day is a Medicine Wheel for each of us. Our response to today's circumstances will tell us more about ourselves. We need not waste energy judging ourselves harshly, but learn from our feelings and reactions. Our reflections point the way for further growth.
Today, I will look for my own reflection in what I meet and for the reflection of all humanity.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To be wildly enthusiastic, or deadly serious--both are wrong. Both pass. One must keep ever present a sense of humor.
--Katherine Mansfield
How familiar wild enthusiasm and deadly seriousness are to most of us. We experience life within the extremes. The thrill of wild enthusiasm we try to trap, to control. We are exhilarated and feel good. Our serious side traps us, controls us, lowers a pall on all our activities. Both expressions keep us stuck. Neither expression allows the freedom of spontaneity so necessary to a full, healthy life.
Through our addiction--the liquor, the upper, the person, the food--we were searching for a feeling we didn't feel. We were searching for an unnatural state of happiness, even perhaps wild enthusiasm, because we had so little of any enthusiasm for life. Our search failed. Again and again we'd "catch it," only to have it elude us.
We may not have given up the search. But we will come to accept both states of mind as temporary and search instead for the middle ground. A sense of humor will make all of life's loads easier to bear. A sense of humor will offer us the balance that has been missing for so many years.
Today will offer me a chance to be wildly enthusiastic and a chance to be deadly serious. I'll try to focus on the middle ground and cultivate my sense of humor.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Going Easy
Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness - go in peace.
Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace.
Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.
Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.
Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.
Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.
Let the pace flow naturally. Move forward. Start. Keep moving forward. Do it gently, though. Do it in peace. Cherish each moment.
Today, God, help me focus on a peaceful pace rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. Help me let go of my need to be anxious, upset, and harried. Help me replace it with a need to be a peace and in harmony.


I accept myself today and am grateful that I can grow from where I am. As I bring more and more love to myself, I continue to blossom and expand, growing to be the best of who I can be. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn to Clear Your Path

I met a woman at the mineral springs in Ojo Caliente, New Mexico. She had a gentle, open way. She talked to me about rituals, about miracles, about change. “My husband and I badly wanted a child, but I couldn’t get pregnant,” she said. “One night, I decided to go to a mikvah, a Jewish ritual bath. My decision felt powerful. But every obstacle you could imagine happened when I tried to get there. I could barely get out of my house. Then when I did, I got lost and had to go back home for directions. When I finally got to the bath, it was just beginning, but I knew I needed to be there. The night was electric. The air felt as if it were charged with lightning. It was a full moon. I went through the ritual and returned home. That night, my daughter was conceived. She’s now seven years old.

There are often obstacles on our path. Roadblocks, barricades, detours. Things to go over, around, or under. Sometimes, the roadblocks are telling us no, this door isn’t opening. Find another way. Other times the roadblocks are telling us that the road we have chosen is very special. If we want to go down it, we will have to try. We will have to focus. We will have to muster our energy and show the world how badly we want it. We will have to overcome each and every obstacle, one by one, as they appear.

What do you want badly? Are you willing to go through an obstacle course, if need be, to achieve it? Are you willing to be tested by the universe? Are you willing to focus, push forward, go the distance?

Sometimes, the road ahead is blocked, but clearing the way becomes part of our journey. Learn to tell when it’s time to let go, to surrender, to search for another road, a different path, another dream. But also learn to tell when it’s time to move forward, through obstacles if need be, because the dream is electric, charged by Divine energy and love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to say what

It was one of those luxurious mornings. The surf was pounding– just loud enough to be heard. We stood on the balcony, watching the rising tide.

“It’s rhythms vary so much,” I said. “Sometimes you can’t walk on the beach in the morning. Other times it’s way up in the late afternoon.” Then I pointed out a spot about a hundred feet away.” And sometimes it’s way out there.”

“We really need to get a tide chart to help us understand what’s going on. A lot of businesses hand them out free.”

Then, that thought and those words were gone.

“Let’s go get some breakfast,” he said.

“I have an idea,” I said. “Let’s go to the seafood place.”

The traffic was gentle and easy that morning. We didn’t need reservations. We immedately got a place to sit. Twenty minutes later, we were picking away at a huge plate of crab legs and Key lime pie. It wasn’t on the breakfast menu, but it was what we wanted, we said.

Next we drove down to the cove, a hidden inlet down the coast. We had to walk and walk to get there. And once we did, we still had to walk down a hundred stairs. So we slid and clambered down the hill instead. We wandered around the tiny bay, getting our feet wet and dirty in the sand. We climbed on rocks and stared at each of the beautiful things we saw, things that God made.

“What’s this?” I said, barely touching a round ball of prickly things.

“A sea anemone,” he said.

I didn’t want to touch it completely, so I picked up a piece of a shell and touched the anemone with that.

The prickly, fuzzy ball of stuff just opened up and sucked that crab shell in. Crunch. Crunch. I giggled. I wanted to see it do it again.

We strolled around the bay. Starfish, rocks, and pretty shells lined the way. “No Nude Bathing,” a weathered sign commanded. A patrol helicopter flew by, just to make certain we compled. We climbed back up to the street. We didn’t use the stairs this time either.

When we got back in the car, we drove to town again. The surf shop was open, so we ambled on in. We looked at sunglasses, wet suits, kayaks, and shorts. We didn’t want to buy anything, so we said thanks and headed out the door. As we were leaving the store, a man suddenly burst out after us, shouting and waving something in his hand.

“Don’t forget your tide chart,” he said, giving the little booklet to us.

We looked at each other, then laughed out loud. Even though we had forgotten what we said we wanted, the universe remembered and insisted on giving it to us.

There’s a lot of things we have to let go of. Probably everything, in fact. But it’s important to say what we want first– before we let go– because sometimes when we let go, what we want comes back to us.

An important part of speaking the language of letting go means learning to identify and say what we want.

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In God’s Care

The manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured.
~~Dean Acheson

Nearly every day most of us experience a few small, though troubling, inconveniences. Some days we suffer through a major setback and, on occasion, even a personal tragedy. When we trust that God is in our life, and we look for comfort and guidance every moment of every day, we are prepared for any upset, whether minor or grave.

Practicing the presence of God provides us with a refuge, even in the throes of turmoil. In time, as we make this a daily routine, we’ll seldom doubt God’s closeness or feel forsaken, even when all about us is dark. The darkness will give way to the light of hope in the mere moment it takes to remember God’s presence.

We can endure whatever lesson today offers with confidence and hope and the security of knowing that God is both teacher and protector.

I will go through this day confidently in the presence of my Higher Power.

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Symbols of Versatility
Ducks

by Madisyn Taylor

We can learn a lot from our duck friends as they are able dive deep but also have the ability to float gracefully.


If you are lucky enough to live in a part of the world that is also a home to ducks, you will no doubt be familiar with the image of their cute feathery bottoms sticking up in the air as their heads disappear under the surface of the water. Perhaps you’ve even taken a moment to wonder what they see in their underwater world, and if they will resurface with a fish or a water bug in their beaks. As we observe them, we see that ducks are denizens of three worlds—the world of air, the world of water, and the world of earth. As such, they have adapted themselves to be able to swim, fly, and walk, and they seek and find nourishment in more than one place. They are symbols of versatility and can inspire us to explore our own ability to adapt and find nourishment in a variety of places.

Ducks are able to float, swim, and dive into the water, fishing for food. They can walk on the ground, eating vegetation and bugs, and they fly in the air to travel long distances relatively quickly. Equipped with feet that are equally good at paddling and walking, as well as wings to fly, ducks seem comfortable in just about any natural environment. Next time you see a duck bottom, you might be inspired to examine your own ability to both float on the surface and to dive beneath it. In many traditions, water symbolizes the emotions—to duck our heads into our emotions means we are able to surrender our minds to our hearts, to go into the watery realm of feeling and see what there is to see, often coming to the surface with nourishment and treasure.

At the same time, we share the duck’s ability to get solid ground under our feet by connecting to the earth on which we live simply by walking on it. And finally, when we reside in our spirits, we fly above the mental, emotional, and material realms, free of all the ties that bind us to this earth, traveling faster and farther than we ever thought possible. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

If we don’t want to slip, we’ll avoid slippery places. For the alcoholic, that means avoiding old drinking haunts; for the overeater, that means by-passing a once-favorite pastry shop; for the gambler, that means shunning poker parties and race tracks. For me, certain emotional situations can also be slippery places; so can indulgence of old ideas such as a well pronourished resentment that is allowed to build to explosive proportions. Do I carry the principles of The Program with me wherever I go?

Today I Pray

May I learn not to test myself too harshly by “asking for it,” by stopping in at the bar or the bakery or the track. Such “testing” can be dangerous, especially if I am egged on, not only by a thirst or an appetite or a craving for the old addiction, but by others still caught in it whose moral responsibility has been reduced to zero.

Today I Will Remember

Avoid slippery places.

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One More Day

Spring is a happiness so beautiful, so unique, so unexpected, that I don’t know what to do with my heart.
– Emily Dickinson

Remember the sheer joy of spring during childhood? How we would race around the backyard, checking out the wonderful sights and smells. Spring in those days meant no more snow pants and boots. It meant being able to dash out with just a light sweater and no admonishments from Mom. And most importantly, the new season heralded a few short months until summer vacation.

We can recapture our youthful openness, for that child is still within us. We can smell the same scents, experience the same joy, but when the depth of understanding we have gained as adults. Regardless of our level of independence, regardless of whether we can plant the garden or just enjoy its flowers, spring can still delight us.

My heart sill delights in spring. I am grateful to be here to absorb it all.

[bluidkiti]

April 2

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
It is wealth to be content. --Lao-tzu
On the evening of the first day of spring, a woman gave her husband a bright red geranium in a clay pot. To celebrate, he placed it on the windowsill, and together they marveled at the delicate petals.
In the harsher light of morning, though, the man frowned at the geranium and said to his wife, "How shabby it makes the sofa look." They spent the day at the furniture store and came home with a new couch, blue with red flowers, like the geranium. They placed the couch in front of the windowsill and admired together its grace and line and fashionable upholstery.
But the next morning, the man frowned at the couch and said, "How shabby it makes the carpet look." Soon they had a lavish new carpet, which led to new curtains, lamps, and chairs. When the room was completely redone, they set the geranium back in the window and surveyed the finest room in the neighborhood. The man frowned. "The geranium," he said, "it's out of place. It will have to go."
Will I be able to appreciate life's simple pleasures today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The universe is the primary revelation of the divine, the primary scripture, the primary focus of divine human communion. --Thomas Berry
In this program we learn about being receptive. A man in search of conscious contact with a Higher Power can simply stand still and open his eyes and ears to creation. Forcing a spiritual awareness is mostly wasted effort. Learning theology doesn't create a spiritual experience either. We only need to see and hear what is around us. This is a vast and marvelous universe, and it speaks for itself. It has always been there, and when we are ready to receive the message, we will.
It stirs our spirit to be at a meeting and hear another man describe the awakening of his spirituality. As we men become more receptive to the spiritual, we open a whole new realm in our lives.
May my growing ability to be a receptive man lead me to a deeper spiritual contact.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. --Amelia Earhart
We have learned from experience that a wave of peacefulness washes over us after we have successfully finished a task that was difficult to face. Courage has its reward. However, from time to time, and from task to task, we find we need the reminder that peace will come once the loose ends have been tied by us.
Our search for peace was desperate and unending in past years. Our fears overwhelmed us more often than not. Courage was seldom displayed. Tasks were often left half done or not done at all. Challenges went unmet. And peace eluded us.
We are so lucky that the program found us, and that we found the program! We are looking forward, at last, with the courage that trusting a higher power has given us. Peace is ours, now and always, as we go forth with the strength of the program to bolster us. New jobs, new friends, new situations may still elicit our old fears. But their hold on us is gone. We have learned that we face nothing alone. What relief that simple truth brings.
Courage is one of the program's gifts. I will have courage to go forward: to meet the new day, to handle whatever confronts me. Peace is coupled with courage, now and forever.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Facing Our Darker Side
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. --Step Four of Al Anon
By the time we get to the Fourth of the Twelve Steps, we are ready to face our darker side, the side that prevents us from loving others, from letting others love us, and from enjoying life and ourselves. The purpose of Step Four is not to make ourselves feel worse; our purpose is to begin to remove our blocks to joy and love.
We look for fears, anger, hurt, and shame from past events--buried feelings that may be affecting our life today. We search for subconscious beliefs about others and ourselves that may be interfering with the quality of our relationships. These beliefs say: Im not lovable. . .. Im a burden to those around me. . .. People cant be trusted. . . . I cant be trusted . . .. I don't deserve to be happy and successful. . .. Life isn't worth living. We look at our behaviors and patterns with an eye toward discerning the self-defeating ones. With love and compassion for ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt - earned and unearned - and expose it to the light.
We perform this examination without fear of what we shall find, because this soul searching can cleanse us and help us feel better about ourselves than we ever dreamt possible.
God, help me search out the blocks and barriers within myself. Bring what I need to know into my conscious mind, so I can be free of it. Show me what I need to know about myself.


Today I wait in peace and rest in the knowledge that God is working for me while I am resting. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Discover the Power of Meditation

I saw Spirit Rock Center, a meditation center, as I drove along the highway in Northern California. I turned into the parking lot and watched as people moved about the grounds very slowly. They were practicing a walking meditation.

Meditation teaches us to relax, to connect with our body, to let spirit and body become one. Many of us spent years abandoning ourselves, our emotions, and our bodies. We’ve been present for others, and now is the time for us to stay present for ourselves, fully and completely.

Meditation helps us leave our routine for a bit and slow down. We deliberately exhale stress, tension, and fear. Then we inhale light, beauty, peace, and love. We slow our minds and slow our bodies until we reach that quiet place. Meditation can renew us and help us return to our lives refreshed.

Meditate. Take time to inhale peace and exhale fear. Then take your meditation back to your life. Walk slowly. Stay present for yourself, more fully and completely than ever before. You too can turn your life into a walking, waking, deliberate meditation.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Learn to say yes

Learn to say yes, and mean it.

How long has it been since you’ve said yes to someone in your life? Yes, I’d like to do that. Yes, that sounds good to me. Yes, I’ll take a chance.

How long has it been since you’ve said yes to yourself? Yes, I recognize what you’re feeling. Yes, I heard what you want. Yes, I realize you’re tired. Yes, we’ll rest for a while.

When opportunities come our way– whether for personal, spiritual, or business growth– don’t always be so cautious and shy. So what if yes means you’re not living up to someone’s expectations? Sometimes we learn to say no so well that saying no becomes a habit. We don’t even consider what we’re turning down.

A well timed yes is as important in manifesting our power as learning to say no. It’s a sign of an open heart.

Next time someone asks you out, suggests an opportunity, or your body tries to talk to you, stop, Instead of immediately saying no, like a parent on automatic pilot, listen to the offer. Could it be an important one? Something that might help guide you along your path? Maybe you’re scared. Maybe you’re worried that you aren’t up to the occasion. Maybe you like the safety of saying no all the time.

Learn to say yes to life.

Honesty, openness, and willingness to try. Hmmmm. Sounds a lot like yes to me.

God, help me learn to say yes and mean it, when that’s the appropriate response.

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In God’s Care

God does not comfort us to make us comfortable but to make us comforters.
~~J. H. Jowett

We weren’t in any kind of condition to comfort others when we were in the grips of our addictions. It’s only now when we have been blessed with comfort for ourselves, that we can turn our attention to others. Now that we can, we discover another spiritual paradox: We find comfort in giving comfort. It is part of the “to-give-is-to-receive” principle.

Perhaps we didn’t come by our addictions accidentally. There’s a purpose for each of us, and comforting others is part of our purpose. God relies on us to carry the message, as those who went before us brought it to us. That’s why we can never be complacent about our progress. The minute we isolate ourselves from others, discomfort sets in – for us and for those who need the comfort of our presence.

My comfort depends on being a comforter.

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The Life Cycle
Bud and Blossom and Beyond

by Madisyn Taylor

It is through watching the cycles of nature that we more fully understand the cycles of our own lives.


Flowers and leaves both begin their lives as organisms so tiny we cannot see them with the naked eye. With time, they become visible, curled in upon themselves, colorful buds slowly softening and releasing. With the proper warmth and moisture, they unfold little by little, revealing with each degree of opening a new color, shape, or dimension. Sometimes buds open seemingly all at once, unfolding the full majesty of their potential, of what looks to the human eye like courage, openness, and generosity.

As days go by, the bloom slowly moves through more stages, revealing still more colors, shapes, and dimensions of its essence. It falls apart, strewing its petals on the ground, or it wilts, or it closes back in on itself. When we can appreciate the full beauty of each stage of the cycle of life, from bud to blossom to disintegration, we feel more at home with our own earthly process. We can be inspired not to hold back the fullness of what we have to offer, knowing that our time to give of ourselves in this way will come to pass. At the same time, we can honor others, and the little processes that go on within the larger process of living our lives.

Each stage we go through has its time of fulfillment and recession, as do all living things. Every moment of every stage has its own particular beauty, and we can appreciate that, even as most of us tend to love the spectacular moment of full blossoming most of all. When we feel the wisdom contained in the budding, blossoming, and dissolution of a simple flower, we begin to feel it everywhere, in each moment that comes and goes, in each sunrise and sunset, in every hello and goodbye, as the very essence of the pulsating ebb and flow of existence. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

What causes slips? What happens to a person who apparently seems to understand and live the way of The Program, yet decides to go out again? What can I do to keep this from happening to me? Is there any consistency among those who slip, any common denominators that seem to apply? We can each draw our own conclusions, but we learn in The Program that certain in-actions will all but guarantee an eventual slip. When a person who has slipped is fortunate enough to return to The Program, do I listen carefully to what he or she says about the slip?

Today I Pray

May my Higher Power — if I listen to Him — show me if I am setting myself up to get high again. May I glean from the experiences of others that the reasons for such a lapse of resolve or such an accident of will most often stem from what I have not done rather than from what I have done. May I “keep coming back” to meetings.

Today I Will Remember

Keep Coming Back.

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One More Day

The joy of life is to put out one’s power in some natural and useful or harmless way. There is no other, and the real misery is not to do this.
– Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

If our health changes and fatigue are frequent problems, we may become unable to do all we did for ourselves in the past. If we push ourselves too far, something will suffer. We may pay with our joints or we may pay with depression. But we do pay.

If we liken our daily energy level to money in a bank account, we realize we can make only so many withdrawals before our resources run out. We decide each day how we want to spend — or waste — that precious energy. It takes a while to get our priorities rearranged, but living a good life is important, and eventually we learn how to invest our energy well.

Each day presents itself new and fresh. It’s up to me to decide how to spend my energy.

[bluidkiti]

April 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could be better changed in ourselves. --Carl Jung
Children are smart. Remember how we used to imitate our parents' behavior? We'd dress up like them, mimic their words, even copy their attitudes. We wanted to be just like them because we thought they were the most wonderful people in the world. We can see this happen all around us, younger ones imitating parents, older brothers and sisters, and older friends. It's very flattering.
The problem is that children imitate not just healthy behavior and attitudes, but also sometimes the not-so-healthy. We get very uncomfortable when we look at a younger person misbehaving and see ourselves in that person. Suddenly, we aren't flattered any more.
When we see things we don't like in others, we must first look at ourselves to see if we need changing. This is all we can do--change ourselves. Others may follow our example or they may not, but we can be sure that, when we watch our own behavior, most of what we see of ourselves in others will be flattering.
What change can I make in myself to set a good example today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If we were logical, the future would be bleak indeed. But we are more than logical. We are human beings, and we have faith, and we have hope, and we can work. --Jacques Cousteau
What is faith? It is believing in possibilities. It is the ability to carry on with our plans or to be true to our work even though we feel discouraged or tired. It is staying active in relationships even when we receive little in return or when our friends aren't able to respond.
If there were no doubt, there would be no need for faith. Faith is temporarily putting our doubts on the shelf and working toward our goals. Faith is trusting that help and support will be there for us even though they're not in view. It is looking at a map and choosing a new destination, getting on the road to go there, and trusting the marks on the map symbolize a real place that we will find.
I will leave room for my doubts and discouragement, but I will not indulge them. I will choose to go with hope. I will give my energy to the better possibilities.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either. --Golda Meir
We all know people who live on the fringes of life. They seem uninvolved with the activity in their midst, as though a pane of glass separated them from us. And there are times when we join the persons standing alone away from the vibrancy of life. Fears keep people apart, particularly the fear of letting go of the vulnerable self and joining in the feelings of the moment.
To fully reap the benefits of life, we have to risk full exposure to one another and to the experience of the moment. Full involvement in the ebb and flow of life will bring the weeping that accompanies both the pain and the joy of life. It will also bring the fruits of laughter.
Both laughter and weeping cleanse us. They bring closure to an experience. They make possible our letting go. And we must let go of pain, as well as joy, to ready ourselves for the next blessing life offers us.
When we keep ourselves apart, when we hold off the tears or the laughter, we cheat ourselves of the richness of life. We have to go through an experience fully in order to learn all it can teach us and then be free of it.
Past experiences never let me go until I fully grieve those that need to be grieved or laugh over those that deserve the light touch. The present is distorted when the past shadows it.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Acceptance
Surrender to the moment. Ride it out and through, for all its worth. Throw yourself into it.
Stop resisting.
So much of our anguish is created when we are in resistance. So much relief, release, and change are possible when we accept, simply accept.
We waste our time, expend our energy, and make things harder by resisting, repressing, and denying. Repressing our thoughts will not make them disappear. Repressing a thought already formed will not make us a better person. Think it. Let it come into reality. Then release it. A thought is not forever. If we don't like it, we can think another one or change it. But to do that, we must accept and release the first thought.
Resistance and repression will not change a thing. They will put us at war with our thoughts.
We make life harder by resisting and repressing our feelings. No matter how dark, how uncomfortable, how unjustified, how surprising, how inappropriate we might deem our feelings, resisting and repressing them will not free us from them. Doing that will make them worse. They will swirl inside us, torment us, make us sick, and make our body ache, compel us to do compulsive things, keep us awake, or put us to sleep.
In the final analysis, all that were really called on to do is accept our feelings by feeling them, and saying, Yes, this is what I feel.
Feelings are for the present moment. The more quickly we can accept a feeling, the more quickly we will move on to the next.
Resisting or repressing thoughts and feelings does not change us or turn us into the person we want to be or think we should be. It puts us in resistance to reality. It makes us repressed. Eventually, it makes us depressed.
Resisting events or circumstances in our life does not change things, no matter how undesirable the events or circumstances may be.
Acceptance turns us into the person we are and want to be. Acceptance empowers the events and circumstances to turn around for the better.
What do we do if were in resistance, in a tug of war with some reality in our life? Accepting our resistance can help us get through that too.
Acceptance does not mean were giving our approval. It does not mean surrendering to the will and plans of another. It does not mean commitment. It is not forever. It is for the present moment. Acceptance does not make things harder; it makes things easier. Acceptance does not mean we accept abuse or mistreatment; it does not mean we forego boundaries, our hopes, dreams, desires, wants, or ourselves. It means we accept what is, so we know what to do to take care of ourselves and what boundaries we need to set. It means we accept what is and who we are at the moment, so we are free to change and grow.
Acceptance and surrender move us forward on this journey. Force does not work.
Acceptance and surrender - two concepts that hurt the most before we do them.
Today, I will practice accepting my present circumstances and myself. I will begin to watch and trust the magic that acceptance can bring into my life and recovery.


I am open to positive changes in my life today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Value Your Connection to Creativity

Creativity is a force– a living, real force. It’s the power of love, the power of life, a gift of the Divine. You’re connected to that force.

Open up to your creative powers– in work, in play, in love. Make creations that are beautiful to look at. Make creations you like to see, creations that are pleasing to you. Creativity comes in many forms– cooking, decorating, speaking, drawing, writing, or building a castle in sand at the beach. How you choose to create is up to you.

“I used to love taking pictures when I was a child,” one man said. “Then one day, in a rage, my father smashed my camera to the floor. He told me taking pictures was nonsense. It was twenty years before I let myself take a picture again. Now, I can’t stop.”

Who told you you weren’t creative? Stand tall, speak up, and tell them they’re wrong. Own your creative powers. Allow your creativity to heal and flourish.

Value your connections to creativity. Value the way you choose to express your creative power. It’s your expression of love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Pray and manifest your power

The Sufis have a saying: Praise Allah, and tie your camel to a post. This brings together both parts of practice: pray, yes, but also make sure that you do what is necessary in the world.
–Jack Kornfield, Seeking the Heart of Wisdom

It’s easy to play the martyr. We spend our lives in struggle and turmoil longing for the sweet by-and-by when everything will be fine.

Today is the sweet by-and-by. Yes, right now. It’s here. If we’re to have good in our lives, it’s up to us to seek it out.

Here are two things the Bible teaches about faith. One, it says that faith is like a mustard seed. The tiniest bit of it can grow tall and in its own time will sprout. The other thing the Bible says is that faith without works is dead. If you’re not doing something, then you’re not keeping your faith alive.

Pray. Turn it over to God. But do something, too.

Stop waiting for someone to come along and rescue you.

Learn to rescue yourself.

God, help me take guided actions today to make my life a better place.

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In God’s Care

This instant is the only time there is.
~~Gerald Jampolsky

How many precious moments of sunshine, birds’ song, or friends’ laughter we never lay claim to because we’re lost in our thoughts about yesterday or tomorrow. God has given us these moments we’re experiencing right now, and in each one is a gift – intended for each of us.

The smile we get from a loved one or a stranger is precious and worthy of cherishing; but to cherish it, we must notice it When our mind is not quietly and intently immersed in the present, we fail to garner the strength God is offering us every moment.

Our higher Power is evident wherever we look, but we must see; our Higher Power is evident in every voice, but we must hear. Our Higher Power is evident within, but we must be quiet and know.

I will quiet my mind so I can see and hear and know that God is present, now.

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Wanting to Join
Dumbing Ourselves Down

by Madisyn Taylor

Playing it small in order to fit in with a group of people robs the essence of your soul level self.


The ability to go into any social situation and sense the level of consciousness in that situation is a gift. It enables us to move considerately in a world that holds people of all levels of awareness. However, there is a difference between shifting our energy to accommodate people and dumbing ourselves down to a regrettable degree. Sometimes, when we get into a particular social situation, we may feel pressure to play it small in order to fit in. Perhaps everyone is drinking or smoking excessively, engaging in gossipy small talk, or complaining bitterly about politics. It is one thing to notice this and modify our expectations and another thing entirely to join in.

When we notice where people are coming from and acknowledge to ourselves that their energy is not in alignment with ours, we have several choices as to how to proceed. One viable option is to quietly endure the situation, keeping to ourselves until it is time to leave. In this way, we take care of our own consciousness and protect our growth process. Another option is to interact in a way that honors and pays respect to the people in the group, while gently attempting to shift the level of consciousness with our input. In order to do this, we must maintain our own vibration, which means that joining in by dumbing down is not an option.

When we choose to dumb ourselves down to fit in, we not only sell ourselves short but we also lose a possible opportunity to influence the situation for the good of all concerned. Our desire to join in may come from our natural yearning to feel connected to the people around us. There is no shame in this, but being able to stand on our own, separate from the crowd, is a powerful milestone on any spiritual path. It can be difficult in the moment, but when we arrive on the other side, our integrity intact, we may find ourselves feeling positively smart. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

In almost every instance, the returned slipper says, “I stopped going to meetings,” or “I got fed up with the same old stories and the same old faces,” or “My outside commitments were such that I had to cut down on meetings,” or “I felt I’d received the optimum benefits from meetings, so I sought further help from more meaningful activities.” In short, they simply stopped going to meetings. A saying I’ve heard in The Program hits the nail on the head: “Them which stops going to meetings are not present at meetings to hear about what happen to them what stops going to meetings.” Am I going to enough meetings for me?

Today I Pray

God keep me on the track of The Program. May I never be too tired, too busy, too complacent, too bored to go to meetings. Almost always those complaints are reversed at a meeting if I will just get myself there. My weariness dissipates in serenity. My busyness is reduced to its rightful proportion. My complacency gives way to vigilance again. And how can I be bored in a place where there is so much fellowship and joy?

Today I Will Remember

Attend the meetings.

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One More Day

Excessive fear is always powerless.
– Aeschylus

Something may be interfering with our sleep. Eyes wide, we lie in bed night after night. We move through the days like robots, just getting by. Our lack of sleep may stem from worries and problems that we can’t face.

Our confrontation with illness may have suddenly made us see how powerless we are over some parts of our lives. Where once we had felt that everything had an acceptable answer, we now have to live with an answer we don’t like and we can’t change. We may pull that original sense of helplessness into other areas of our lives. Gradually, we understand that life has always been unpredictable; we just refused to see it until we were forced to. We learn to accept the things we can’t change and work toward changing the things we can. We deal wit our problems. Our anxiety subsides. We’re able to rest.

Today, I’ll accept unchangeable answers.

[bluidkiti]

April 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone. --Ida Scott Taylor
It's not always easy to understand that the day stretching before us is all that counts. Daydreaming about the party last week, or getting upset all over again about a fight we had yesterday with a friend doesn't help us right now. When our minds are on the past, we miss out on the conversation or the activity that is going on around us.
Every moment of the day is special, and guaranteed to help us grow and understand life. All of us have been taught to pay attention in school, or to pay attention when others talk to us. But we should also pay attention to the birds, the sky, even the grass. And we can learn a lot by paying attention to the conversations going on around us, and to the small voice inside us that helps us know right from wrong.
What's going on today is enough to pay attention to.
Am I ready to pay attention to what is around me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
What is obvious to me is that we did not create ourselves... life is something inside of you. You did not create it. Once you understand that, .you are in a spiritual realm. --Virginia Satir
We do not belong to ourselves, but to the universe. No man planned to come into existence; he just happened to find himself here. We are the expressions of a life force whose beginnings are in the forgotten past. What does this mean on a practical level for how we will live today? For one thing, maybe we don't need to take ourselves so seriously. And we certainly are not to judge our existence. We have a right to be here, just as everyone does.
We can live this day fully and not hold ourselves back. We may work hard, play, and enjoy it. We need not rein in or attempt to control this force which so far exceeds our individual powers. Rather, today we can learn to flow with the current.
Today, may I remember my Higher Power is within every cell of my being, whether I notice it or not.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
All we are asked to bear we can bear. That is a law of the spiritual life. The only hindrance to the working of this law, as of all benign laws, is fear. --Elizabeth Goudge
There is no problem too difficult to handle with all the help available to us. Let's not be overwhelmed. The program tells us to "Let go and let God," to turn it over. And that's where the solution lies.
Our challenges, the stumbling blocks in our way, beckon us toward the spiritual working-out of the problem which moves us closer toward being the women we are meant to be. Our fear comes from not trusting in the power greater than ourselves to provide the direction we need, to make known the solution.
Every day we will have challenges. We have lessons to learn which mean growing pains. If we could but remember that our challenges are gifts to grow on and that within every problem lies the solution.
I will not be given more than I and my higher power can handle today, or any day.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Negotiating Conflicts
Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. Its about building and maintaining relationships that work. --Beyond Codependency
Problems and conflicts are part of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work problem solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.
Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.
Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.
Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.
Some problems with people, though, can be worked out. worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. Often, there are workable options for solving problems that we will not even see until we become open to the concept of working through problems in relationships, rather than running from the problems.
To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.
We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible. Committed, intimate relationships mean two people are learning to work together through their problems and conflicts in ways that work in both peoples best interest.
Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem solving efforts.


Today I am hanging in no matter what. Even when my conscious mind wants to give up,
I will reach for that healthy loving part deep within me and with the help of prayer and meditation and the good people in my life, I will find a rainbow. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Wait for Timely Action

Watch the surfer as he works his way out to sea. See him watching the waves, waiting for the right movement, the right timing, the right swell. Sometimes the wave comes quickly. Sometimes he has to tread water patiently for a long time, waiting and watching before he can ride the wave.

Learn to ride the waves of energy in your life. Learn to wait for the right time to take action. Learn to wait until your senses, your emotions, your body, and the universe give you the signal you need. Yes, you have a list of things you want to do. But as soon as you have made that list, visualized what you want, you’ve already begun a powerful force. You’ve already begun to engage the universe in helping bring you want you want. There are moments that are more perfect than others to initiate action, to make that phone call, to finish that task.

Untimely action will not get the job done any sooner. It will simply waste your energy and send you back to sea, waiting for the right wave. Focus on your goal, muster all your forces, and head out to sea. Then wait patiently for the right time, for the right energy, for the right wave.

The right wave will come. When it does, grab your board, jump on, and ride it for all its worth.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Ask for guidance

Sometimes things seem like good ideas and aren’t, really.
–Piglet

Ask for guidance first.

Self-will is a tricky thing. So are impulse behaviors.

We’ve heard of impulse buying– making a purchase quickly and without thought, based on monetary impulse. It’s easy to get caught up living our lives that way,too. So often, we run off in the heat of the moment.

Spontaneity is good. Saying yes to life is good,too. But impulse living can get us into trouble. We can overreact to a problem, then sit in a heap of regrets. Sometimes, the next step presents itself clearly, in a flash of inspiration. Sometimes, we’re meant to go forward and not let our fears and negative thoughts hold us back. Sometimes, we’re acting on impulse and may end up sabotaging ourselves.

Ask for guidance first. It takes only a second to check the map and see if the turn we’re thinking of making is where we really want go.

God, show me what your will is for me. Show me if the decision I’m about to make is in my best interest or if there is a better path for me to explore.

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In God’s Care

The hand that gives gathers.
~~English proverb

Maybe we grew up believing somehow that to give is to lose. We were taught to believe, or came to the conclusion on our own, that when we give away something, we have to do without it; to give meant to experience loss.

Now, our spiritual friends show us a love that demands nothing in return, and we have a different attitude. We discover that when we give in a spirit of generosity, we lose nothing at all. When we share a material possession we feel rich. The opposite is true, too, of course. When we withhold love, we feel unloved, and when we don’t share what we have, we feel the loss of something.

There is a spiritual maxim at work here. We can give of ourselves and have everything, or we can withhold ourselves and experience spiritual poverty.

I give of what I have. It is the way to be truly happy.

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Physical Bodies on Earth
Spiritual Being--Physical Experience

by Madisyn Taylor

While we are incarnated in a body on this earth, we must remember that we still are a spiritual being at our core.


We are on this earth, in our physical bodies, because our souls have things to learn that we could not learn in any other way. It is through our physical body and the physical world that we can experience life. Purely spiritual beings are just that – they are in a state of being rather than doing – in a place that is beyond the limitations of time and space. But when we incarnate on the physical plane, we are automatically subject to the laws of physics and the world of dualities. In this place, we know what happiness is because we have experienced sadness, and we understand the value and power of light because we have known darkness. Knowing this, we have the opportunity to let ourselves be spiritual beings having a physical experience.

There is no pain in the spiritual realm, because we know we are one with the limitless source of the universe. But here, in the material realm, our sense of limitation and separation allows us to feel our emotions and to learn about love, forgiveness, and compassion. We go from a spiritual state of oneness to learning how to be in relationship with people who are different and distinct individuals. We learn to understand ourselves through our relationships with the world around us—its seasons and landscapes, challenges and opportunities. And through our journey to find our place among so many others, we begin to recognize our own glimmer of light in a constellation of stars.

Once we remember that we are spiritual beings, we can revel in the experience of being human while knowing we are all connected. We can live from the place of oneness while truly appreciating the beauty of diversity, the bittersweet feel of love and loss, and the elation of triumph over challenges and adversity. It is through these opposites that we experience life itself, and we can ride through the dark times with the understanding that it will help us to appreciate the light of life and love and spirit more fully. We are here now because we made the choice to experience an earth life, so now we can choose to enjoy the journey as completely as possible. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Another common denominator among those who slip is failure to use the tools of The Program — the Twelve Steps. The comments heard most often are, “i never got past the First Step,’ “I worked The Steps too slow,” or “too fast” or “too soon.” What it boils down to, is that these considered the Steps, but didn’t conscientiously and sincerely apply the Steps to their lives. Am I learning how to protect myself and help others?

Today I Pray

May I be a doer of the Steps and not a hearer only. May I see some of the common mid-Steps which lead to a fall: Being too proud to admit Step One; Being too tied to everyday earth to feel the presence of a Higher Power; Being over-whelmed by the thought of preparing Step Four, a complete moral inventory; Being too reticent to share that inventory. Please, God, guide me as I work the Twelve Steps.

Today I Will Remember

To watch my Steps.

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One More Day

The mind leaps, and leaps perhaps with a sort of elation.
– Joseph Wood Krutch

A chronic medical problem can be incorporated into our total picture of life. If we allow problems, medical or otherwise, to overwhelm and exclude everything else, we are defeated before we begin. We don’t have to be defeatist.

Everyday dawns fresh with opportunities to change, to find happiness, and to live our lives well. By searching deeply within, we can redefine our faith in ourselves and in our Higher Power. A joy, and elation, can be ours when we allow ourselves to express our natural human curiosity through growth, learning, and a willingness to try new things. We can hold our heads up high and be proud.

Regardless of my physical condition, I have dignity and worth.

[bluidkiti]

April 5

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes-- I wonder if it weighs like Mine-- Or has an easier size. --Emily Dickinson
How can we measure all the grief we feel, and how can we put up with it? Doesn't the Grief of Death weigh a ton or more? Doesn't it stretch out to a month, a year, or longer still? Is the Grief of Failure lighter than the Grief of Despair, but maybe longer? Isn't the Grief of Emptiness the heaviest of all? Whether we try to ignore or make light of it, our grief, like a ton of feathers or a ton of rocks, is all the same to us. This much is sure: if we lock our grief in, it will weigh more on us and lengthen out; if we open our hearts with weeping and words, others will help carry it away.
What old sadness can I let go of by sharing it today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear. --Mark Twain
Feelings of anger are a knotty problem for many men. Some of us as children were injured or so frightened by an angry adult that we have instinctively avoided anger ever since. Or we have been appalled by ourselves when we lost control of our anger. Still, we are taught that it is masculine to be aggressive. Some of us have tried so hard to squelch our anger that we don't even know when we feel it. We treat anger like a rejected child once rejected we no longer have good discipline over it. So it comes out in hurtful jokes and sarcastic comments, or bursts out of us in scary and destructive ways.
For some of us, overly controlled anger turns inward against ourselves. We get physically ill or depressed and self-hating. Every recovering man needs an honest relationship with his anger. We must acknowledge this feeling within us when it is there. It is healthy to express anger directly, honestly, and respectfully.
Thanks to God for the richness of my emotional life. Today, I will notice my feelings of anger and accept them so I can learn to relate to them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I came to the conclusion then that "continual mindfulness". . . must mean, not a sergeant-major-like drilling of thoughts, but a continual readiness to look and readiness to accept whatever came. --Joanna Field
Resistance to the events, the situations, the many people who come into our lives blocks the growth we are offered every day. Every moment of every day is offering us a gift: the gift of awareness of other persons, awareness of our natural surroundings, awareness of our own personal impact on creation. And in awareness comes our growth as women.
Living in the now, being present in the moment, guarantees us the protection of God. And in the stretches of time when we anxiously anticipate the events of the future, we cheat ourselves of the security God offers us right now.
We are always being taken care of, right here, right now. Being mindful, this minute, of what's happening and only this, eases all anxieties, erases all fears. We only struggle when we have moved our sights from the present moment. Within the now lies all peace.
The most important lesson I have to learn, the lesson that will eliminate all of my pain and struggle, is to receive fully that which is offered in each moment of my life.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Detaching in Love
Detachment is a key to recovery from codependency. It strengthens our healthy relationships - the ones that we want to grow and flourish. It benefits our difficult relationships - the ones that are teaching us to cope. It helps us!
Detachment is not something we do once. Its a daily behavior in recovery. We learn it when were beginning our recovery from codependency and adult children issues. And we continue to practice it along the way as we grow and change, and as our relationships grow and change.
We learn to let go of people we love, people we like, and those we don't particularly care for. We separate ourselves, and our process, from others and their process.
We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.
Today, I will apply the concept of detachment, to the best of my ability, in my relationships. If I cant let go completely, Ill try to hang on loose.


Today I am open to all of who I am. As I bring my attention to all of me, without judgment, I grow in wisdom and freedom. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Develop a Sense of the Sacred

During my stay in New Mexico, I found myself repeatedly– almost magnetically– drawn to the Ojo Caliente Hot Springs. The grounds weren’t fancy, soaking cost only $8.00. But I felt safe, healed, spiritually connected when I was there. At times, I felt almost an electric energy coursing through my body when I roamed the grounds. On my third visit, I noticed a small marker hidden on the side of the parking lot and I began to understand my feelings. The ancient spring was actually a Native American sacred site. The energy I felt there was real. I was standing on holy ground.

Develop a sense of the sacred. Develop a sense of what is sacred to you. Allow yourself to see and feel the holy grounds in your life as you go through your days and years. Many times what we’re going through, what we’re seeing is sacred, but our minds diminish that idea. So much in life is holy, but often we don’t make the connection. Listen to your soul as you experience life. Let yourself connect with what is holy and sacred to you.

Stop chattering for a moment. Be still. Experience. Ask your soul to show you what’s holy. The electric energy will rise through you. Your soul will come to attention. Learn to feel, see, and know the beauty of the journey you’re on.

Develop a sense of the sacred. Where you’re standing is holy ground.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Just do what you can

Dear God,
I am doing the best that I can.
–Children’s Letters to God

Sometimes all we can do is all we can do.

“Maybe my talent is being a good listener,” said John. “Maybe I’m not supposed to be rich and famous. I’m supposed to be the person who just sits and listens.”

The world needs listeners,too. If everyone were the storyteller, it would be a noisy place, and no one would ever get to hear the stories. Maybe you are a storyteller, maybe you are a listener. Maybe both. Maybe it will be your path to achieve recognition and fame; maybe yours is an anonymous path of service.

If you’ve done all you can– whether it’s to pursue your dreams, work on that relationship, help someone else, or take care of yourself– then you’ve done your part.

Maybe all we can do is all we’re meant to do, that day.

God, help me do what I can and not torture myself about what I can’t.

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In God’s Care

Conscience is the perfect interpreter of life.
~~Karl Barth

In a moment’s pause, before we respond to a person or situation, may come a clear message indicating how we are to act or what we are to say. In that quiet moment, our conscience calls to us. Our willingness to pause, listen, and then act as our Inner Guide suggests, will ensure that our relations with others will reflect our true values.

Many of us feel God’s presence most through our conscience. Seldom are we truly in doubt about the proper response to a friend. And yet we may still refuse to pause and listen to God’s message – to remember and affirm our values. And then we experience guilt and shame.

We complicate our relationships needlessly when we act before we think. Our agitated ego takes over, and we lose sight of the sure knowledge that God is the director, we are the actors. A quiet mind lets us hear the directions.

I will be quiet, if only for a moment, before sharing my thoughts today.

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Playing Your Part
Life Is an Illusion

by Madisyn Taylor

As we become more enlightened on our journey of life, we become more compassionate and wise and have less attachment.


As children, most of us sang that mesmerizing, wistful lullaby that ends with the words, “Life is but a dream.” This is a classic example of a deep, sophisticated truth hiding, like an underground stream, in an unlikely place. It winds its way through our minds like a riddle or a Zen koan, coming up when we least expect it and asking that we consider its meaning. Many gurus and philosophers agree with this mysterious observation, saying that this world we perceive as real is actually an illusion, not unlike a film being projected on a screen. Most of us are so involved in the projection that we don’t understand it for what it is. We are completely caught up in the illusion, imagining that we are in a life and death struggle and taking it very seriously.

The enlightened few, on the other hand, live their lives in the light of the awareness that what most of us perceive as reality is a passing fancy. As a result, they behave with detachment, compassion, and wisdom, while the rest of us struggle and writhe upon the stage in the play of our life. Having the wisdom to know that life is but a dream does not mean that we ignore it or don’t do our best with the twists and turns of our fate. Rather, like an actress who plays her role fully even as she knows it’s only a role, we engage in the unfolding drama, but with a little more freedom because we know that this is not the totality of who we are.

And life is more of an improvisation than it is like a play whose lines have already been written, whose end is already known. Like an improviser, we have choices to make and the more we embrace the illusionary quality of the performance, the lighter we can be on the planet, on others, and on ourselves. We can truly play with the shadows cast by the light of the projector, fully engaging without getting bogged down. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Still another common thread we invariably see among slippers is that many of them felt dissatisfaction with today. “I forgot we live one day at a time,” or “I began to plan results, not just plan.” They seemed to forget that all we have is Now. Life continues to get better for them and, as many of us do, they forgot how bad it had been. They began to think, instead, of how dissatisfying it was compared to what it could be. Do I compare today with yesterday, realizing, by that contrast, what great benefits and blessings I have today?

Today I Pray

If I am discouraged with today, may I remember the sorrow and hassles of yesterday. If I am impatient for the future, let me appreciate today and how much better it is than the life i left behind. May I never forget the principle of “one day at a time.”

Today I Will Remember

The craziness of yesterday

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One More Day

Be not afraid to pray, to pray is right. Pray, if thou canst with hope, but even pray.
– Harley Coolidge

“Now I lay me down to sleep” may have been one of our fist childhood prayers, perhaps even on of our first memories. As we grew, we may have learned to recite other prayers by rote, with little understanding.

Now, we are beginning to understand and feel the need for prayer. many of us came to a belief in a Power greater than ourselves, one which can nature and sustain us. We can pray for those we love; we can pray for ourselves. Prayer can enhance and bond us with our Higher Power. It nourishes and satisfies our souls — the inner self.

Prayer is a creative expression of my spiritual needs. It offers me a deep sense of personal satisfaction and continually reminds me of all life’s forces.

[bluidkiti]

April 6

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In quarreling about the shadow, we often lose the substance. --Aesop
There is a fable about a man and his camel who were hired by a wealthy man to get him across the desert. The journey was so hot that they stopped to rest one day, and the only shade to be found was in the shadow of the camel. The two of them began to argue about who had the rights to the camel's shadow--the owner or the renter. They were so involved in their argument that the camel ran away and they didn't notice until it was long gone.
Sometimes we get so caught up in being right that we become like these two, fighting over a shadow. Instead of paying attention to our journey and sharing what we have, we let ourselves get distracted. It is more important to notice what we have, to share it as best we can, and continue our journey.
What can I share with another today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I had gone through life thinking I was better than everyone else and at the same time, being afraid of everyone. I was afraid to be me. --Dennis Wholey
Looking back to the codependent or addictive times in our lives, we see with the perfect vision of hindsight. It is both embarrassing and humorous to see how misguided and deluded we were then. Grandiose images of ourselves isolated us from those around us and cut us off from true friendships with others. Many of us had strong feelings about ourselves that were in conflict - we felt both special and unworthy.
In this program we grow over time to have a more realistic self-concept. We are not exactly like everyone else, but we are more like them than different. It's okay to be like others, and it's comforting, too. Accepting this, we grow fully into the whole men we were meant to be, and we relish the joy of friendship.
May I accept the guidance of my Higher Power in developing a realistic and comfortable self-image.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. --Jennie Jerome Churchill
Taking our friends and loved ones for granted, expecting perfection from them in every instance, greatly lessens the value we have in one another's life. Being hard on those closest to us may relieve some of the tension we feel about our own imperfections, but it creates another tension, one that may result in our friends leaving us behind.
We need the reminder, perhaps, that our friends are special to our growth. Our paths have crossed with reason. We complete a portion of the plan for one another's life. And for such gifts we need to offer gratitude.
Each of us is endowed with many qualities, some more enhancing than others; it is our hope, surely, that our lesser qualities will be ignored. We must do likewise for our friends. We can focus on the good, and it will flourish--in them, in ourselves, in all situations. A positive attitude nurtures everyone. Let us look for the good and, in time, it is all that will catch our attention.
I can make this day one to remember with fondness. I will appreciate a friend. I will let her know she matters in my life. Her life will be enhanced by my attention.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Patience
How sick and tired we may become of people telling us to be patient or to learn patience. How frustrating it can be to want to finally have something, or to move forward, and then not have that happen. How irritating to have someone tell us to wait while our needs have not been met and were in the midst of anxiety, frustration, and inaction.
Do not confuse the suggestion to be patient with the old rule about not having feelings.
Being patient does not mean we go through the sometimes-grueling process of life and recovery without having feelings! Feel the frustration. Feel the impatience. Get as angry as you need to about not having your needs met. Feel your fear.
Controlling our feelings will not control the process!
We find patience by surrendering to our feelings. Patience cannot be forced. It is a gift, one that closely follows acceptance and gratitude. When we work through our feelings to fully accept who we are and what we have, we will be ready to be and have more.
Today, I will let myself have my feelings while I practice patience.


Today I am breaking out of old patterns, rewriting old tapes and letting my life flow with joy and love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Be Present for Yourself

Learn to be present for yourself, fully present in a way that’s new and delightful. Be present for your thoughts and emotions. Be present for the gentle way in which your heart and body lead you on. Learn to be fully present for each step of your growth, each step of your journey.

Value yourself, who you are, what you think and feel, and how you grow. For many years you neglected yourself. It was as though you were unconscious of who you were, how you felt, what you believed. You believed that kept you safe, protected you from feelings you didn’t want to feel. You believed it was how you should live. Now you are learning another way. Survival is no longer enough. It does not meet the needs of your heart and your soul. Now you want to live fully and joyfully. To do that, you must be present for yourself.

Be fully present for others,too. Be present for their spirits, their emotions, the words thay have to say to you, but especially be present for their hearts. You no longer have to fear losing or neglecting yourself if you are present for others. You can do this safely now. You will not be consumed by their needs, you will not become trapped in the workings of their lives. And if you’re present for yourself, you’ll know how much presence to give others.

Be present for life– for the starlit skies and the chirping birds that sing in the morning sun. Be present for the earth and grass under your feet, for the feel of a snowflake in your hand. Be present for all the magic and mysteries of the universe.

But most of all, be present for yourself. Then your presence for others and life will naturally follow.

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More Language Of Letting Go

The power of thoughts

In 1922, Egypt hailed the discovery of King Tut’s tomb by archaeologist Harold Carter. On the walls of the tomb, the magicians had scrawled that a severe punishment would befall anyone disturbing the contents of the burial site.

Over the next ten years, more than twenty people involved with the excavation died suddenly or mysteriously.

Whether you call it a curse or a hypnotic suggestion of sorts, what we’re talking about is the tremendous impact that suggestions have on us. We’re talking about the power of belief.

Many of us spend thousands of dollars in therapy and years of our lifetime disentangling our thoughts from the beliefs of our parents, beliefs that were passed on to them by their parents, and their grandparents, and even further on down the ancestral line.

Sometimes, the effects of other people’s thoughts are less blatant, and even more controlling. We can react instinctively to the silent demands of a spouse or lover, or a boss. They smile or frown– or just look at us– and we know what they mean and expect. Sometimes a casual comment by a friend can send us into a tailspin when he or she suggests, You can’t do that; it won’t work. Do it this way. Months later, when the way we’re trying to do it isn’t working out and we still keep trying and wonder why, we look back and say, “Oh. My friend told me to do it this way. Maybe he was wrong.”

An important part of living in harmony with others means we enjoy doing things that please them, and we don’t unnecssarily or maliciously hurt those with whom we interact. An important part of being true to ourselves means checking ourselves from time to time to see if the things we’re doing are really what we want, or if we’re just a puppet and someone else is pulling our strings.

God, help me respect the power of belief.

Activity: Try a little experiment to prove to yourself how strong the mind is. Walk up to two people, whether you know them or not. Think something very positive and loving about them, but don’t say these thoughts out loud.

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In God’s Care

The life of the spirit is centrally and essentially a life of action. Spirituality is something done, not merely something believed or known or experienced.
~~ Mary McDermott Shideler

We often think of a spiritual life as a life of contemplation, of distancing ourselves from the rest of the world. Actually, spirituality is action. We can include spirituality in our day-to-day routines whenever we want. We can transform mundane activities into links to our Creator merely by offering a silent prayer.

As we open an envelope or listen to a sales presentation, we can think of the power and the love we are receiving this moment from God. As we hear the ring of a telephone or have the day’s first cup of coffee – any number of ordinary things – we can remember that we are here by the grace of God. When we extend a helping hand, we’re saying thanks to God. A smile, a kind word, a hug – all are everyday spiritual acts.

I can take spiritual action in ordinary living.

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Intelligence Speaks for Itself
The Fear of Appearing Dumb

The universal need to be accepted by others can be a barrier that prevents us from being ourselves around them. When we fear that the people we encounter will perceive us as inept or unintelligent, we frequently try to flaunt our grasp of large words or clever witticisms or our professional expertise in an effort to convince them that we are smart and capable. The reasons for feeling this way can be many, and they can often stem from as far back as your childhood. Many women in particular have the fear that they may appear not smart. Yet overcompensating for this fear can have the opposite effect if others are driven away by what they see as an immodest attitude or sense that you are urgently trying to prove yourself. The simple desire to be judged smart by both new and old acquaintances can cause you to reject your true self and adopt an affected persona. But in trying so persistently to project an image of supreme intelligence or capability, you deny others the opportunity! to become acquainted with the real and terrific individual you truly are.

The fear that others will perceive you as unintelligent can further influence your behavior, causing you to consciously avoid speaking your mind or asking questions. You may feel uncomfortable participating in activities if there is a chance that you won’t excel or taking part in discussions with others who may have more knowledge than you. In essence, you become ashamed of who you are and attempt to encase your identity in a veneer that others will find pleasing and impressive. It is, however, a common fear—one experienced by almost everyone at some point in their lives. The simplest way to combat it is to make a personal commitment to being yourself in your home, your workplace, and among strangers. Ask yourself how you believe the individuals you encounter will react should you speak awkwardly, need clarification, or fail to be the best at some activity. By being yourself, you will discover that all people make mistakes and ask questions and that others will like and resp! ect you because they recognize the goodness in your soul.

The fact that you are willing to be yourself, letting your many affirmative attributes express themselves naturally, will help you make a positive first impression on everyone you meet and earn the esteem of your family and friends. Your confidence and easygoing manner will say, "this is who I am and I am proud of the person I have become." Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

What do we say to a person who has slipped, or one who calls for help? WE can carry the message, if they’re willing to listen; we can share our experience, strength and hope. Perhaps the most important thing we can do, however, is to tell the person that we love him or her, that we’re truly happy he or she is back, and that we want to help all we can. And we must mean it. Can I still “go to school” and continue to learn from the mistakes and adversities of others?

Today I Pray

May I always have enough love to welcome back to the group someone who has slipped. May I listen to that person’s story-of-woe, humbly. For there, but for my Higher Power, go I. May I learn from others’ mistakes and pray that i will not re-enact them.

Today I Will Remember

Sobriety is never fail-safe.

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One More Day

The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
– Edward John Phelps

We feel so vulnerable when we have a chronic illness, almost as though we are specimens, displayed as oddities. Because of our vulnerable feelings, we may be reluctant to undertake new experiences out of fear that we may expose ourselves to ridicule. Yet, actually, few people take the time or trouble to stare.

Living a sequestered life and taking no chances is not the answer. There are always options available to us, but they may be different options from those we previously considered. We can decide to take new directions. The image we show to others is a reflection of the image we carry within.

Trying to reach past my mistakes into new successes enhances my life.

[bluidkiti]

April 7

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Take time every day to do something silly. --Philipa Walker
Spring fever may bring out our longings and our sense of unfilled needs for attention, play, or laughter. We may be afraid to express these needs because they are not often taken seriously, but thought of as childish. We may even be afraid our needs are so enormous that they will never be satisfied, and so we keep them bottled up inside ourselves, and all we can express to others is frustration.
Spring is a reminder that we can find a way to satisfy our needs. We can give ourselves a break from work or study, laugh a little, and try to share our laughter with someone else. There are many ways to fulfill a need, and by giving what we have to offer, we may find ourselves getting back exactly what we really need, even though it may not be what we had hoped for.
In the act of giving we learn we are worth giving to also. We learn that we deserve to be loved, most of all by ourselves.
What do I think I need today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Adversity introduces a man to himself. --Anonymous
After difficult or challenging times we often say, "I never would have chosen to go through that, but I learned a lot from it." It could be a job situation, a failed relationship, or trouble with the law. When we bump up against something hard something that pushes back at us, our strength is tested, forcing us to draw on unknown reserves. A mountain climber standing on a safe ledge finds it difficult to move forward onto a more frightening spot. After he has completed the route, he looks back and feels good about himself because he met a challenge. We meet these challenges in many ways in our lives, and they help us build our self-respect.
Whatever difficulty is facing us today, we may have to deal with it ourselves, but we do not have to be alone while we do it. We can reach out for support while we do what we must. This difficulty is part of being human and can help us see more fully who we are.
I pray for the courage to face my adversity when I must and the ability to learn from it.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It is only when people begin to shake loose from their preconceptions, from the ideas that have dominated them, that we begin to receive a sense of opening, a sense of vision. --Barbara Ward
A sense of vision, seeing who we can dare to be and what we can dare to accomplish, is possible if we focus intently on the present and always the present. We are all we need to be, right now. We can trust that. And we will be shown the way to become who we need to become, step by step, from one present moment to the next present moment. We can trust that, too.
The past that we hang onto stands in our way. Many of us needlessly spend much of our lives fighting a poor self-image. But we can overcome that. We can choose to believe we are capable and competent. We can be spontaneous, and our vision of all that life can offer will change--will excite us, will cultivate our confidence.
We can respond to life wholly. We can trust our instincts. And we will become all that we dare to become.
Each day is a new beginning. Each moment is a new opportunity to let go of all that has trapped me in the past. I am free. In the present, I am free.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Those Old Time Feelings
I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years. --Anonymous
Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.
Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.
Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.
A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.
The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.
Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.
If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.
Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.


I am moving towards my goals today with just the right energy that I need. My progress will be perfect and I have the faith and trust that all the steps I take along the way will become clear when it is necessary. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

What Are You Resisting Most?

Be open to the whole journey, all parts of it.

Is there a feeling, a person, a thought, a project that you have been avoiding? Is there some part of your life that you’re refusing to deal with or open up to? Is there something you’re resisting, something that makes you stubbornly say no? Ignore the voice that says, This is how I decided it will be, so I will close off to that part, I will not consider it. That is the voice of resistance.

Be open to everything. Your most valuable lessons may well come from the things you’re resisting most.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Examine what others expect

“There’s a difference between saying we’re not going to live up to other people’s expectations and actually not living up to them,” a friend said to me one day.

Other people’s expectations, or even what we imagine others expect from us, can be a powerful and motivating force. We can feel antsy, uncomfortable, wrong, and off-center when we step out of our place. These feelings can occur when we’re not living up to what other people expect from us– even, and sometimes especially, if these expectations aren’t vocalized.

Expectations are silent demands.

Not living up to someone’s expectations can take effort on our part. What we’re really doing when we don’t comply with what others expect from us is standing our ground and saying no. That takes energy and time.

What do people expect from you? What have you trained or encouraged them to expect? Are they actually expecting this from you, or are you just imagining that expectation and imposing it on yourself?

An unexamined life isn’t worth living, or so they say. The problem with living up to other people’s expectations too much is that it doesn’t leave us time to have a life. Take a moment. Ask yourself this question, and don’t be afraid to look deeply: Are you allowing someone else’s expectations to control your life? Examine the expectations you’re living up to; then live by your own inner guide.

God, help me become aware of the controlling impact other people’s expectations have on my daily life. Help me know I don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but my own.

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In God’s Care

When you pray for anyone you tend to modify your personal attitude toward him.
– Norman Vincent Peale

We experience a wonderful tansformation in attitude each time we, with God’s help, suppress our ego and ask for God’s blessings on someone we envy, fear, or simply don’t like. Any action we take out of genuine concern for someone else’s well-being will heighten our own – many times over.

Praying may be troublesome for some of us. But as we’ve learned the value of Acting As If in other instances, we can do so with praying too. There is no formula for praying. Each attempt to speak to God is a prayer, one that God hears. Each loving thought we have toward someone near or far can be considered a prayer. We can pray in the midst of a crowd, at supper with family, laying in bed, or on our knees. With practice, prayer becomes easier. Through prayer, life becomes easier too.

I will look at my attitude toward someone I’m having trouble with and work on changing it today, through prayer.

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Breathing into Order
Feeling Overwhelmed

Sometimes we may feel like there is just too much we need to do. Feeling overwhelmed may make it seem like the universe is picking on us, but the opposite is true: we are only given what we can handle. Difficult situations are opportunities to be our best selves, hone our skills and rise to the occasion.

The best place to start is to take a deep breath. As you do, remind yourself that the universe works in perfect order and therefore you can get everything done that needs to get done. As you exhale, release all the details that you have no control over. The universe with it‘s infinite organizing power will orchestrate the right outcome. Anytime stress begins to creep up, remember to breathe through it with these thoughts.

Then, make a list of everything you need to do. Note what needs to be done first, and mark the things others may be able to do for you or with you. Though we often think no one else can do it correctly or well, there are times when it is worth it to exhale, let go of our control, and ask for help from professionals or friends. With the remaining things that feel you must do yourself, take another breath and determine their true importance. Sometimes they are things we’d like to do, but aren’t really necessary. After taking these quick steps, you will find you have a plan laid out, freeing you from frenzied thoughts circling in your head. With calming deep breaths, you are now free to focus more fully on our priorities. Herbal teas or flower remedies along with wise choices about caffeine and food can help keep us from becoming frantic too. But with nothing further from us than our breath, we can breathe in our best intentions and let the rest go with an exhale. Keeping ourse! lves centered and breathing into and through life’s challenges helps us learn what we are truly capable of doing, and we will find we have the ability to rise to any occasion. Remember you aren’t being picked on, and you are never alone. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Our spiritual and emotional growth in The Program doesn’t depend so deeply upon success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If we bear this in mind, a relapse can have the effect of kicking us upstairs, instead of down. We in The Program have had no better teacher than Old Man Adversity, except in those cases where we refuse to let him teach us. Do I try to remain always teachable?

Today I Pray

May I respect the total Program, with its unending possibilities for spiritual and emotional growth, so that I can view a relapse as a learning experience, not “the end of the world.” May relapse for one of our fellowship serve to teach not only the person who slipped, but all of us. May it strengthen our shared resolve.

Today I Will Remember

If you slip, get up.

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One More Day

Sometimes I have believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
– Lewis Carroll

While sitting at the table with an early morning cup of tea or coffee, we can get lost in reverie. Briefly, for a frozen moment in time, we can believe that we are capable of anything once again.

We sill have the joy of our imagination, and even if there are physical restrictions placed upon us by our long-term medical condition, we can still imagine ourselves achieving an impossible dream. It’s wonderful to get lost in pure fantasy about how we would like our lives to be. We can imagine ourselves richer in relationships and in friends. Even when our body betrays us, we need never betray the belief in ourselves.

I have the freedom to imagine whatever I want. My illness doesn’t restrict what I can accomplish in my mind.

[bluidkiti]

April 8

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Any time you sense you are getting overrun by outside influences and losing your feelings, put your attention inside your body. Relax. . ., let your breath sink low. . ., breathe in your abdomen. . . . --Anne Kent Rush
When we are feeling as though all our energy is scattered throughout our bodies, we need to practice centering, or focusing this energy into one place. Our center may change from day to day, and each of us feels it differently.
When we're walking, we may feel power coming from our hips and spreading through the body, heart, and mind. When we're in a meditative mood, we may feel warm energy at the back of the head. At other times, we might feel a real centering place in the middle of the chest, right where our heart and arms and breathing come together. There is no one way to be at peace. Centering is a way for each of us to find and picture to ourselves our focused energy. When we can do this, we increase our power to bring about those things we want from life, those things we really do deserve.
Where is my energy right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I'm not into isms and asms. There isn't a Catholic moon and a Baptist sun. I know the universal God is universal.... I feel that the same God force that is the mother and father of the pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.
--Dick Gregory
In this program we seek conscious contact with God as we understand God. Some people understand God in very specific ways as a Jewish God, or a Christian God, or Moslem Allah. Others understand God in very general and unspecific ways. To some, God is the spirit of group relationships, the deeper consciousness of each man, or the whole of creation. When the word God is used in this program, it respects the different knowing of each person.
Whatever understanding a man has, this program includes his perspective. It dictates none. This is a spiritual program, not a religious one. We often see our Higher Power was with us as a helpful force, long before we knew about it.
Today, I am grateful for God's care. May I learn to increase in trust and. knowledge of God.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Life is patchwork--here and there, scraps of pleasure and despair. Joined together, hit or miss. --Anne Bronaugh
As you look ahead, to this day, you can count on unexpected experiences. You can count on moments of laughter. And you can count on twinges of fear. Life is seldom what we expect, but we can trust that we will survive the rough times. They will, in fact, soften our edges. Pleasure and pain share equally in the context of our lives.
We so easily forget that our growth comes through the challenges we label "problems." We do have the tools at hand to reap the benefits inherent in the problems that may face us today. Let us move gently forward, take the program with us, and watch the barriers disappear.
There is no situation that a Step won't help us with. Maybe we'll need to "turn over" a dilemma today. Accepting powerlessness over our children, or spouse, or co-worker may free us of a burden today. Or perhaps amends will open the communication we seek with someone in our lives. The program will weave the events of our day together. It will give them meaning.
Today, well lived, will prepare me for both the pleasure and the pain of tomorrow.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Self Care
I don't precisely know what you need to do to take care of yourself. But I know you can figure it out.
--Beyond Codependency
Rest when you're tired.
Take a drink of cold water when you're thirsty.
Call a friend when you're lonely.
Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed.
Many of us have learned how to deprive and neglect ourselves. Many of us have learned to push ourselves hard, when the problem is that were already pushed too hard.
Many of us are afraid the work wont get done if we rest when were tired. The work will get done; it will be done better than work that emerges from tiredness of soul and spirit. Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.
They are well timed, efficient, and Divinely led.
Today, I will practice loving self-care.


Today I can make peace within myself without needing the approval and agreement of others. Today I can love and respect people who do not always share my view of the world. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
April 8, 2013
Enjoy the Adventure

It was a cold night in Sedona, Arizona. An unexpected snowstorm had passed through the usually warm city, dumping several inches of snow in a short time. The electricity was off. The cabin I was staying in was freezing.

Great, I thought. I get to spend my last evening in Sedona fighting off hypothermia alone in the dark. I put on a heavy sweater, then wrapped myself in a blanket, trudged to a phone booth, and called a friend to complain.

“Change your perspective,” he said. “Pretend you’re four years old. Get your flashlight. Then make a tent in your bed out of all the pillows and blankets you can find. Enjoy the adventure.”

At first I balked, then I decided to try this idea. I made the tent. Bundled up. My complaints quickly turned to memories of what it was like to be a child, to play with life, to play with all the experiences life brings. Soon I fell asleep.

When I awoke in the morning, the heat was back on. The lights had returned. The snow had stopped falling. Capped in a frosty layer of white, the breathtaking city of rust-iron mesas looked like a wonderland. I had learned another lesson, practical and simple.

Change your perspective and enjoy the adventure. Let the child in you come out to play.

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Journey To The Heart

Enjoy the Adventure

It was a cold night in Sedona, Arizona. An unexpected snowstorm had passed through the usually warm city, dumping several inches of snow in a short time. The electricity was off. The cabin I was staying in was freezing.

Great, I thought. I get to spend my last evening in Sedona fighting off hypothermia alone in the dark. I put on a heavy sweater, then wrapped myself in a blanket, trudged to a phone booth, and called a friend to complain.

“Change your perspective,” he said. “Pretend you’re four years old. Get your flashlight. Then make a tent in your bed out of all the pillows and blankets you can find. Enjoy the adventure.”

At first I balked, then I decided to try this idea. I made the tent. Bundled up. My complaints quickly turned to memories of what it was like to be a child, to play with life, to play with all the experiences life brings. Soon I fell asleep.

When I awoke in the morning, the heat was back on. The lights had returned. The snow had stopped falling. Capped in a frosty layer of white, the breathtaking city of rust-iron mesas looked like a wonderland. I had learned another lesson, practical and simple.

Change your perspective and enjoy the adventure. Let the child in you come out to play.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stop trapping yourself

“I found myself staying at home on weekends, not wandering far from home,” a woman said. “I was expecting myself to be there for my daughter whenever she wanted me, just like when she was a child. The problem was, she was in her mid-twenties and didn’t even live in the same city anymore.”

It’s easy to paint ourselves into a corner with what we’ve grown accustomed to expecting from ourselves. Sometimes we can work so hard to build that career, get that relationship, or become a certain way that we start living up to an image of ourselves that has become outdated.

Stop trapping yourself.

Those goals might have been what we wanted then, but they don’t work anymore. And just because we achieved them doesn’t mean we can’t go on and do something else. What do you expect from yourself? Have you taken a look? Do your expectations reflect the genuine desires of your heart, or do they reflect something else?

Are you grumbling and complaining about some aspect of your life– something you’re expected to do but resent? Maybe the only person expecting you to do that is yourself. Expectations can be subtle little things. Take them out and examine them. If some of them are outdated or useless, maybe it’s time to throw them away.

Can you feel the rush? Listen quietly. It’s there. It’s the sound of a life and spirit being set free.

God, help me aet myself free from ridiculous and unnecssary expectations.

Activity: If this were the last ten years of your life, what would you be doing? Where would you be living? What would you be doing for fun. work, friendship, and love? If the answer is different from where you currently are, maybe you should be someplace else.

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Short Getaways
Taking A Day Trip

When vacations are not possible, consider a daytrip as an alternative for renewal and feeding your soul.


We tend to think of a vacation as something that requires an enormous amount of preparation, but small daylong excursions can be just as refreshing and fulfilling as their lengthier counterparts. A short drive can be the channel that transports you into a world of novel experiences and blissful relaxation. Solo day trips can be a wonderful way to unwind from the stresses of routine existence while simultaneously feeding the soul. And when you choose to share your day trip with someone you care about, a leisurely drive becomes a chance to talk about childhood, recall favorite songs, or simply spend time enjoying one another's presence.

You may be surprised to see how many day-trip possibilities exist within a mere hour's time from your home. Forests, beaches, lakes, mountains, rivers, and deserts can serve as the perfect spot for a minivacation. The physical and mental rejuvenation you experience in an unfamiliar and engaging setting are enhanced by meditation, journaling, deep breathing, or just being still with nature. Though the cost of gasoline can make taking a day trip seem frivolous, and our commitment to environmental well-being may cause us to hesitate before utilizing our cars in this manner, there are numerous ways we can effectively offset our carbon signature while still seeing to the needs of ourselves on a soul level.

Since day trips tend to require much smaller investments of time and money than traditional outings, you can enjoy a diverse range of experiences day by day. On one weekend, you may be motivated by a need to connect with your natural heritage to explore a vast state park or nature preserve. On another, your curiosity can inspire you to visit a historical site that has long piqued your interest. In the end, where you go will often be less important than your willingness to broaden your horizons by removing yourself from the environment already so familiar to you. Each minigetaway you take will imbue your existence with a sensation of renewal that prepares you for whatever lies ahead. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Time after time, we learn in The Program, newcomers try to keep to themselves “shoddy facts” about their lives. Trying to avoid the humbling experience of the Fifth Step, they turn to a seemingly easier and softer way. Almost invariably, they slip. Having persevered with the rest of The Program, they then wonder why they fell. The probable reasons is they they completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. Have I admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs?

Today I Pray

That I may include all of the sleaziness of my past, my cruelties and my dishonesty, in a complete moral inventory of myself. May I hold back nothing out of shame or pride, for the “exact nature” of my wrongs means just that — a thorough and exact recounting of past mistakes and character flaws. We have been provided with an appropriate “dumping-ground.” May I use it as it was intended. May all my throw-sways, the trash and outgrown costumes of the past, be foundation “fill” on which to build a new life.

Today I Will Remember

Trash can be a foundation for treasures.

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One More Day

Believe me, every man has his secret sorrow, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man col when he is only sad.
– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Let a person seem aloof or display a need to be apart from others, and we automatically assume we are getting a old shoulder. yet none of us has any ideas of all the components of another person’s life and feelings. We’re usually ignorant of others people’s personal characteristics. Sadness, shyness, and fear are just a few traits which can be misinterpreted.

Little disappointments, large failures, loss of a dream or a loved one — these are all problems which any one of us can have, but few can share. We can choose to overlook the real and imagined wrongs of others by reminding ourselves of how little we really know of each other.

My understanding of other people’s problems has been enhanced by my own illness, and I will not be so quick to judge.

[bluidkiti]

April 9

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me. --Virginia Satir
Most of us feel pretty ordinary. We probably wish we were taller or shorter. Some of us are fat rather than thin. Few of us have perfect skin or teeth. Often we look at others, compare ourselves, and wish we were different. At these times, it's important to remember that each of us is special. We differ from others because we're created for different purposes.
Some of us will make a contribution to the world of sports, some to the art of music. Teaching or medicine will attract others and yet, no two of us will give to the world in the same way. Our unique mixture of looks, attitudes, and abilities will be special and very necessary to the people sharing our lifetime.
How can I give my special gift to the world today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little. Do what you can. --Sydney Smith
We are capable of far more than we think. The task before us sometimes seems mountainous, but we don't have to do it all in one day. We can do only a little, although we want to accomplish the whole job at once. We must not let our desire for complete change all at once discourage us from doing what we can. We may need to look for a new job, or face the loneliness of ending a hurtful relationship, or hold firmly to our wisest fathering role with our children, or deal with an illness in ourselves or a loved one.
We do not have to face the tasks that challenge us by ourselves. We are all members of a large, quiet network of spiritual support for each other. We have our Twelve Step program, the loving strength of our Higher Power, and the companionship of other men and women in our group. With help, we can do what must be done. We only need to faithfully do a little at a time.
Today, I will remember that I am not alone. I have help in many forms, and I will do what I can.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
For is it not true that human progress is but a mighty growing pattern woven together by the tenuous single threads united in a common effort? --Soong Mei-ling (Madame Chiang Kai-shek)
We each are spinning our individual threads, lending texture, color, pattern, to the "big design" that is serving us all. Person by person our actions, our thoughts, our values complement those of our sisters, those of the entire human race. We are heading toward the same destination, all of us, and our paths run parallel on occasion, intersect periodically, and veer off in singleness of purpose when inspiration calls us.
It's comforting to be reminded that our lives are purposeful. What we are doing presently, our interactions with other people, our goals, have an impact that is felt by many others. We are interdependent. Our behavior is triggering important thoughts and responses in someone else, consistently and methodically. No one of us is without a contribution to make. Each one of us is giving what we are called upon to give when we are in a right relationship with God, who is the master artist in this design we are creating.
Prayer and meditation will direct my efforts today. My purpose can then be fulfilled.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Giving
Learning to be a healthy giver can be a challenge. Many of us got caught up in compulsive giving - charitable acts motivated by uncharitable feelings of guilt, shame, obligations, pity, and moral superiority.
We now understand that catering and compulsive giving don't work. They backfire.
Caretaking keeps us feeling victimized.
Many of us gave too much, thinking we were doing things right; then we became confused because our life and relationships weren't working. Many of us gave so much for so long, thinking we were doing Gods will; then in recovery, we refused to give, care, or love for a time.
That's okay. Perhaps we needed a rest. But healthy giving is part of healthy living. The goal in recovery is balance - caring that is motivated by a true desire to give, with an underlying attitude of respect for others and ourselves.
The goal in recovery is to choose what we want to give, to whom, when, and how much. The goal in recovery is to give, and not feel victimized by our giving.
Are we giving because we want to, because its our responsibility? Or are we giving because we feel obligated, guilty, ashamed, or superior? Are we giving because we feel afraid to say no?
Are the ways we try to assist people helpful, or do they prevent others from facing their true responsibilities?
Are we giving so that people will like us or feel obligated to us? Are we giving to prove were worthy? Or are we giving because we want to give and it feels right?
Recovery includes a cycle of giving and receiving. It keeps healthy energy flowing among our Higher Power, others, and us. It takes time to learn how to give in healthy ways. It takes time to learn to receive. Be patient. Balance will come.
God, please guide my giving and my motives today.


My heart is open to all that happens in my life today. There is such joy in being alive and feeling everything with a full and open heart. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Take Better Care of Yourself

Take better care of yourself than you ever have before. That’s what your heart is telling you to do.

Those times of driving yourself, depriving yourself, not being gentle and loving with yourself will no longer work. Punishing, criticizing, repressing, and denying won’t bring the feelings, the growth, the result you’re seeking. The harder you push, the more you relentlessly demand perfection, the worse you’ll feel.

Fall in love with yourself. Be gentle, loving, kind, and attentive. Take time throughout each day to tend to your needs, just as you would tend to someone you loved deeply and dearly. Loving and caring for yourself this way won’t waste time. It’s not a delay. Take better care of yourself, and life’s magic will return. Your life will improve. You’ll feel better,too.

Taking care of yourself is a simple act with profound consequences. The better and more often you care for yourself, the more you’ll align with the universe and God’s love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

You get to choose

Don’t forget that we get to choose.

I got my “A” license in skydiving. I continued to jump. But I was procrasitnating on buying my own parachute and gear. I used the rental gear, even though it didn’t fit my body comfortably and I was throwing money down the drain. I used the rental gear because the student parachutes were big.

A lot of sky divers start going for the smallest possible canopy as soon as they get into the sport. That didn’t work for me. As safe as I try to be and as much as I concentrate on landing properly, I usually land on my behind.

The bigger the canopy over my head, the better my behind feels when I land.

Whenever I discuss buying my own gear, the other skydivers would start insisting that I had to buy a small canopy, not to waste my money going big. So I put off the purchase, wondering when I’d want to jump and land with a canopy that small.

One day Eddy, a sky diver with more than ten thousand jumps and no injuries in the sport, pulled me aside. He asked me if I had bought my equipment. I told him no. He asked why. I told him because everybody had told me that when I bought my first canopy, it should be smaller than the size I was comfortable jumping.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Order the largest size you can. You’re the one jumping. You’re the one paying for the gear. Don’t let other people convince you that you shouldn’t have what you want. Do what’s right for you, and you’ll be in this sport for a long time.”

I was comforted and surprised by his words. How easy it is to let other people’s expectations control our thoughts and actions. Sometimes we just need a little reminder that it’s more than okay to choose what’s right for us– it’s what we’re meant to do.

God, help me set myself free from the limits that other people put on me.

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Learned Self-Reliance
The Negative Effects of Spoiling Children

Parents are moved by instinct to love, nurture, and provide for their offspring. Because our children are so much a part of us, we want to see them blissfully happy. Also, our own desire to be liked, materialist pressures, and a fervent wish that our children have everything we lacked as youngsters can prompt us to spoil them. However, while it might seem that buying your child expensive gifts will give them fond memories of childhood or that you can heal your emotional wounds by doting on your sons and daughters, you may be unconsciously interfering with your children’s evolutional development. One of the most precious gifts you can grant your children is the true independence they gain when they learn to earn what they covet and become stewards of their own happiness. Try allowing your children to experience life to the fullest. Let them work and earn what they want. When the time comes for them to go to college and enter the workforce, you will have the confidence that yo! u have raised a child that can both enter and contribute to society confidently.

When children are not afforded the opportunity to explore self-reliance, to understand that with possession comes price, and to fulfill their own needs, they develop a sense of entitlement that blinds them to the necessity of hard work and the needs of others. We may spoil children because giving them gifts is pleasurable. Or we may want to avoid conflict out of fear that our children won’t love us. Yet children who are given acceptance, love, and affection in abundance are often kinder, more charitable, and more responsible than those whose parents accede to their every material demand. They develop a strong sense of self that stretches beyond possessions and the approval of their peers, and as adults they understand that each individual is responsible for building the life they desire. If you find yourself giving in to your child’s every whim, ask yourself why. You may discover that you are trying to answer for what you feel is lacking in your own life.

Rearing your children to respect the value of money and self-sufficiency as they grow from infants to young adults is a challenging but rewarding process. It can be difficult to watch a child struggle to meet a personal goal yet wonderful to be by their side as they achieve it. Your choice not to spoil your children will bless you with more opportunities to show them understanding and compassion and to be fully present with them as they journey toward adulthood. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Faith is more than our greatest gift: its sharing with others that our greatest responsibility. May we of The Program continually seek the wisdom and the willingness by which we may well fulfill the immense trust of which the Giver of all. Perfect gifts has placed in our hands. If you pray, why worry? If you worry, why pray?

Today I Pray

Our God is a mighty fortress,m a bulwark who never fails us. Many we praise Him for our deliverance and for our protection. He gives us the right of faith to share. May we pass it along to others as best we know how and in the loving spirit in which He gave it to us.

Today I Will Remember

God will not fail us.

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One More Day

The comforter’s head never aches.
– Italian Proverb

Sometimes, people who undergo a family crisis, such as the sudden death of a loved one, hold up commendably during the most difficult times, only to collapse later. While none of us can always stay calm, we rarely buckle when our strength is needed by others.

We comfort our loved ones when they’re angry, hurt, or disappointed. We comfort friends who have undergone surgery or had other crises of their own. We sit by the bed of people we love as they wait to die. Again and again, we prove we are strong. Our experience in comforting others helps us recognize the strength of our friends and family when they comfort us in our anger or disappointment, in our sadness or illness.

I am proud I can give comfort and strength to those who need it. I am grateful for those who comfort me.

[bluidkiti]

April 10

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
But don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden. --Beatrix Potter
Since we are members of a family, we are not free to do anything we like. We may not be able to go as far from home as we would like. We may have to get up earlier in the morning than we would like. We may have only limited use of the car. Families set up limits in order to maintain order and happiness. If each of us demanded something different for supper each night, the situation would be unmanageable.
Limits also keep us safe. When Peter Rabbit was told not to go into Mr. McGregor's garden, it was for his own good. Limits and restrictions are a form of love and protection, and we all have them. When we bump up against one of these limits, we can be assured they serve to point us in another direction, one with freedoms of its own which we may never have explored without being forced to.
What freedom can I discover in a limitation today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Chaos demands to be recognized and experienced before letting itself be converted into a new order. --Hermann Hesse
The forces of chaos and forces of order are always at work in the world. While many things are being built up, many are wearing down. It is a good thing, because life would be very boring in an unchanging state. But the chaos we met in our lives was often extreme and unusually destructive. We had to recognize it and feel the pain of it before we could build a new order. Looking back we can see that our First Step was just such an event.
All people have small chaotic events in their lives every day. If we take a moment and reflect on our present lives, we can certainly become aware of some ways in which things are in disarray. By simply letting ourselves know it in this moment, we get ready for the new order to begin.
I pray for courage and honesty to see the chaos which exists today. Help me become ready for the new order to evolve.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Even though I can't solve your problems, I will be there as your sounding board whenever you need me. --Sandra K. Lamberson
The prize we each have been given is our ability to offer full and interested attention to people seeking our counsel. And seldom does a day pass, that we aren't given the opportunity to listen, to nurture, to offer hope where it's been dashed.
We are not separate, one from another. Interdependence is our blessing; however, we fail to recognize it at our crucial crossroads. Alone we ponder. Around us, others, too, are often suffering in silence. These Steps that guide our lives push us to break the silence. The secrets we keep, keep us from the health we deserve.
Our emotional well-being is enhanced each time we share ourselves - our stories or our attentive ears. We need to be a part of someone else's pain and growth in order to make use of the pain that we have grown beyond. Pain has its purpose in our lives. And in the lives of our friends, too. It's our connection to one another, the bridge that closes the gap.
We dread our pain. We hate the suffering our friends must withstand. But each of us gains when we accept these challenges as our invitations for growth and closeness to others.
Secrets keep us sick. I will listen and share and be well.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Using Others to Stop Our Pain
Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn't hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding - its an illusion!
In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force someone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness.
Yes, it is true that if someone steps on our foot, he or she is hurting us and therefore holds the power to stop our pain by removing his or her foot. But the pain is still ours. And so is the responsibility to tell someone to stop stepping on our feet.
Healing will come when were aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from the past. We will receive insights that can change the course of our relationships.
We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well being have been in our hands. We have held that box. The contents are ours for the opening.
God, help me remember that I hold the key to my own happiness. Give me the courage to stand still and deal with my own feelings. Give me the insights I need to improve my relationships. Help me stop doing the codependent dance and start doing the dance of recovery.


I am attracted to positive people and I attract positive people to me. Today I continue to seek and find people who are positive, healthy and nurturing. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Be Aware of the Energy Around You

I stopped at a quaint little store in the mountain city of Solvang, California. It was filled with clocks, tick, tick, ticking away. Some sang, some chirped. Some just ticked. “If you wind them together long enough, they’ll all soon begin ticking together in harmony,” the shopkeeper told me knowingly. I listened. What she said was true.

We are energy and vibration. When we’re open, how easy it is to begin ticking to the rhythm of those around us. If we had kept ourselves locked up and put away, it would be different. But since we’ve chosen to be open, to be sensitive, to open our hearts and souls, we’ll connect with, tick to, vibrations of those around us. Our energy fields will touch and merge. We’ll begin to feel, and sometimes visibly take on, the characteristics, rhythms, and vibrations of those in our field.

Pay attention to, choose carefully, those with whom you live, eat, and play. There may be times when you can handle their energy, and times it isn’t right for you. Sometimes, when we’re feeling off balance, it may be that we’re around energy that just isn’t right for us.

Stay conscious of who you travel with on this journey. See who you’re attracted to and notice who is attracted to you. See how much better you feel when you surround yourself with the energy of love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Make the hard calls

Sometimes we make choces with relative ease. One option feels right. We have no negative feelings about the other choice. On some occasions, we may be faced with what one man described as a “hard call.”

“I had raised my own children alone,” Jason said. “And I did a good job. I enjoyed my independence, but I relished the idea of being in a relationship at some time in my life. A few years after my two children left home, I met a woman I truly liked. We spent time together, got right up to the edge of being committed, but I had to back off.

“I liked her, but she had two children of her own. They were teenagers. They didn’t want me in their mother’s life. I didn’t want to lose this woman. But at a deeper level, I really didn’t want to be involved in the teenage years of raising someone else’s children. I knew I had to let her go,” he said. “It was a hard call.”

A hard call is when we don’t like either choice, but one option is unacceptable. Hard calls can take many shapes and forms. We may love someone who has a serious drinking problem and simply decide we can’t live with him or her– despite how we feel about the person. We may love someone who has physically abused us or displayed signs of violent behavior, while our feelings may be genuine, so is the danger. We can be faced with hard calls at work. At one point in my life, I could barely tolerate my supervisors. But I liked the work I was doing. I decided to stay; I’m still glad I did.

Hard calls are a part of life. They force us to examine our values and determine what’s genuinely important to us. They insist that we choose the path that’s in our highest good.

God, when I am faced with a tough decision, help me be gentle with myself and others as I sort out, with your help, what’s right for me.

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Know Your Food
Eating Close to the Earth

by Madisyn Taylor

Eating organic local food will change your life for the positive in so many ways as you connect with the earth and your community.


The food we eat is a multidimensional aspect of our lives. Food provides us with the energy that enables us to grow and prosper. Yet it can be, and frequently is, much, much more. Our food can be an experience in and of itself if we allow it to be. The dishes we remember from childhood offer unmatched comfort. The act of preparing meals can be an art form of the highest caliber. And the nourishment we derive from this fare promotes wellness within us. But many of us, distracted by daily affairs, forget that the profound pleasures of eating go beyond simple sustenance. We eat foods that are convenient or we eat unconsciously, snacking on whatever happens to be on hand. To understand the true value of food and the impact it can have on our lives, we should acknowledge and honor it by eating close to the earth.

If you have ever shelled and eaten garden-grown peas or bitten into a sun-warmed apple freshly plucked from its tree, you likely understand that there is a marked difference between these foods and those that are processed and stacked on supermarket shelves. Food recently picked contains more of its original life force and thus has a greater store of energy and nutrients. You can ensure you are eating close to the earth—and enjoying the many benefits of doing so—by shopping at a local farmers market and getting to know the individuals who grow your food. If you make the experience of shopping in this way enjoyable, you will be more apt to reject more convenient canned, packaged, and frozen foods in favor of the real delight you feel while browsing stalls of fresh foods nourished by the same soil you can find in your own backyard. You will soon learn what foods are in season in your area and how to prepare them.

As you savor the vivid flavors of juicy ripe fruits and the hearty crunch of unprocessed vegetables, you can also take pleasure in the fact that, by eating close to the earth, you are supporting farmers in your region, connecting with your local ecosystem, discouraging those who would waste precious fossil fuels by carting produce cross-country, and helping to preserve healthy culinary traditions that have existed for centuries. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Change is the characteristic of all growth. From drinking to sobriety, from dishonesty to honesty, from conflict to serenity, from childish dependence to adult responsibility — all this and infinitely more represent change for the better. Only God is unchanging; only He has all the truth there is. Do I accept the belief that lack of power was my dilemma? Have I found a power by which I can live — a Power greater than myself

Today I Pray

I pray that The Program will be, for me, an outline for change — for changing me. These days of transition from active addiction to sobriety, from powerlessness to power through God, may be rocky, as change can be. May my restlessness be stilled by the unchanging nature of God, in whom I place my trust. Only He is whole and perfect and predictable.

Today I Will Remember

I can count on my Higher Power.

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One More Day

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

We may wonder what has happened to old friends we have lost touch with over the years. Sometimes we get so caught up in our busy lives we neglect our friendships.

We can rebuild or strengthened a relationship by taking the first step in reaching out to others. Old connections can be reestablished. They were important to us at one time in our lives and can be again. We may find they have been wondering about us as well.

Today, we can take up pen and paper and write to them about ourselves. Now is the time to find out what has happened to our old friends and let them know they’re in our thoughts.

I will try today to establish contact with an old friend.

[bluidkiti]

April 11

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Listen to your feelings. They tell you when you need to take care of yourself, like finding a friend if you feel lonely, crying if you feel sad, singing and smiling if you feel happy, and acting frisky if you feel good. --Pat Palmer
When we get too much of anything--too much fun or too much work--we may feel really crummy when it's over.
One way to listen to our crummy feelings is to say, "Here comes the letdown after all that fun." We can imagine a spaceship falling to earth, floating on the ocean. Coming down to earth is as much a part of the adventure as the countdown and blastoff.
A letdown for us means we need to let our bodies and minds rest, just like the spaceship, bobbing around without any special direction. We need to take it easy, do nothing, put off making plans.
Then we can ask God to help us let go of the crummy feelings that come along with a letdown. We can ask the spirit within us to guide us through this time of change. Then we will let down and let go.
What are some things I can do to take it easy the next time I feel down?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it. --Oscar Wilde
There are countless ways to take shortcuts in life or to grab for pleasures. We could cheat on our income taxes, excuse a food binge, or lie to a loved one about where we've been. We say, "It won't hurt anyone!" "I wouldn't do it if it weren't for the other guy." Or, "Everyone does it." But if we are to like and respect ourselves, we need to live by the rules we believe in. Whether we get caught or not isn't the point. We cannot hold values and then repeatedly justify breaking them.
What does it do to us if we constantly fudge on our values? It undermines our self-esteem and damages the faith we have in ourselves. We do not expect to be perfect, but we must be accountable. If we are honest with ourselves, we admit our wrongs and reestablish our self-respect.
Today, I will take care to make choices that match my values.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
An element of recovery is learning that we deserve success, the good things that come to us, and also that pain is a reality. We have the strength to deal with that pain without medicating, and it will pass. --Dudley Martineau
Many of us didn't understand the changing variables in being human. Our coping skills were at a minimum until we discovered what alcohol or pills, even food, could do for us. And then, a drink or two--or six, maybe--got us through many a lonely evening.
The desire for an easy solution might still haunt us, but time, new experiences, and program friends have taught us that our past habits weren't really easy solutions. In reality, they increased our problems and led us nowhere.
The Steps and the principles of the program, if applied, guarantee success, living success. We come to believe that strength enough to handle any situation is ours for the asking. And experience with these principles shows us that when we live the way our conscience dictates, the rewards are many.
Every day, especially this one facing us, our choices and decisions will be many. But there is only one solution to any problem, and that's the one our higher power guides us to. The answer, the choice, always lies within, and the good life will accompany our thoughtful, reverent choices.
The power of the program is mine for the taking. All of today's problems can be eased, if I choose so.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Financial Goals
Taking responsibility for our financial affairs will improve our self-esteem and lessen anxiety.
Each of us, today, has a present set of financial circumstances. We have a certain amount of money in hand, and money due to us. We have a pile of bills that we owe. We have taxes to pay. Those are our present financial circumstances. No matter what the details are, acceptance, gratitude, and self-responsibility will lessen the stress.
Each of us, today, has a financial future. There are few future aspects of our life we can control, but one part we can play to assist our future is setting goals.
We don't have to obsess about our goals. We don't have to constantly watch and mark our progress toward them. But it is beneficial to think about our goals and write them down. What do we want to happen in our financial future? What financial problems would we like to solve? What bills would we like to be rid of? What would we like to be earning at the end of this year? The end of next year? Five years from now?
Are we willing to work for our goals and trust our Higher Power to guide us?
Pay bills on time. Contact creditors. Make arrangements. Do your best, today, to take responsibility for your finances. Set goals for the future. Then, let go of money and concentrate on loving. Taking responsibility for our financial affairs does not mean making money our focus. Taking responsibility for our finances enables us to take our focus off money. It frees us to do our work and live the life we want.
We deserve to have the self-esteem and peace that accompanies financial responsibility.
Today, I will take the time necessary to be responsible for myself financially. If it is time to pay bills or talk to creditors, I will do that. If it is time to set goals, I will do that. Once I have done my part, I will let the rest go.


The more I let go of my own suffering and self-pity, I can see those around me with the eyes of love and compassion. I am becoming more aware of other people's pain and unhappiness today and I will reach out to them in loving ways that heal me while helping them to heal. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Learn to Listen to Silence

Driving into Yellowstone Park, I switched off the radio. The sun was setting. The mountains on either side of the road framed my view. Snowcapped mountains, their peaks touching the clouds, reflected the peach, pink, and orange of the setting sun. The clouds were beginning to change color, the way they do at twilight. Evergreens lined the road. Some stood tall. Some stooped. Some bent, as if peeking at or beckoning the travelers on the road. The smell of pine gently filled the car.

Because I’d been driving all day, I had kept the radio on to keep me alert and entertained. Now, I shut it off. As I drove, I let the silence fill the car, fill my mind, fill my soul. Before long, the colors of the sunset began to almost sing. The trees, the mountains filled me with their energy, rhythm, vibration.

Certain sounds can be healing– music, the voice of a friend, the laughter of a child. But there are other times when we need to turn down the sound and listen to silence. Silence can be healing,too.

As the sun set and I drove through the gates of Yellowstone Park, I realized this: the sounds of silence aren’t silent. Each creation that lives sings its own song. It takes a quiet mind, a quiet soul, a quiet heart to hear these songs.

Learn to listen to silence. Listen to the world around you. And the silence will sing you a beautiful song.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let yourself change and grow

There are lots of hermit crabs in the tide pools near my house. They’re interesting little creatures. A hermit crab will find a shell that fits him, put it on, and live in it. After a while, he grows and the shell no longer fits, so the crab scurries along the sea floor and finds another shell to live in. He crawls out of his first shell and into the shell that fits his new needs. This scene repeats itself again and again throughout his life.

Learn a lesson from the hermit crabs.

Just because a decision was right for you yesterday, doesn’t mean it meets your needs today. People grow. People change. And sometimes we have to let our safe little places go, in order to grow and change.

Are you holding on to something that doesn’t work anymore, just because it’s safe and what you know? It could be a behavior pattern– such as feeling victimized in all your relationships or wearing yourself out trying to control what you can’t.

Thank the lessons, people, and places of the past for all they’ve taught you. Thank your survival behaviors for helping you cope. There’s nothing wrong with feeling comfortable and safe– having lifetime friends and a career that serves us well. But don’t get so comfortable that you can’t let go and move on when it’s time. If the walls are too confining and limiting and you’re feeling stuck and bored, maybe it’s time to get out and find a new shell. There’s another shell waiting that will fit you better, but you can’t move into it until you leave this one behind.

God, show me the behaviors, things, people, and places that I’ve outgrown. Then give me the faith to let go.

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Choosing Not to Be a Target
Emotional Attacks

by Madisyn Taylor

It is important to remember that if you are being attacked emotionally, it is more than likely not about you at all.


Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did to rouse their anger, and we take their actions personally. We may ask ourselves what we could have done to compel them to behave or speak that way toward us. It’s important to remember that there are no real targets in an emotional attack and that it is usually a way for the attacker to redirect their uncomfortable feelings away from themselves. When people are overcome by strong emotions, like hurt or anguish, they may see themselves as victims and lash out at others as a means of protection or to make themselves feel better. You may be able to shield yourself from an emotional attack by not taking the behavior personally. First, however, it is good to cultivate a state of detachment that can provide you with some protection from the person who is attacking you. This will allow you to feel compassion for this person and remember that their beha! vior isn’t as much about you as it is about their need to vent their emotions.

If you have difficulty remaining unaffected by someone’s behavior, take a moment to breathe deeply and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you aren’t responsible for people’s feelings. If you can see that this person is indirectly expressing a need to you—whether they are reaching out for help or wanting to be heard—you may be able to diffuse the attack by getting them to talk about what is really bothering them.

You cannot control other people’s emotions, but you can control your own. If you sense yourself responding to their negativity, try not to let yourself. Keep your heart open to them, and they may let go of their defensiveness and yield to your compassion and openness. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I came; I came to; I came to believe. The Program has enabled me tolearn that deep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of a God. It may be obscured by pomp, by calamity, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of the Power in human lives are facts as old as man himself. How well do I share my free gifts?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may continue to look for — and find — that Godliness that is in me and in every other person, no matter how it is obscured. May I be aware that the consciousness of a Higher Power has been present in man since he was first given the power to reason, no matter what name he gave to it or how he sought to reach it. May my own faith in a Higher Power be reinforced by the experience of all mankind — and by the working of His gracious miracles in my own life.

Today I Will Remember

God is in us all.

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One More Day

When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a moment longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
– Harriet Beecher Stowe

Sometimes we push ourselves too fast, too far, too often. Even though we are cognizant of that exact moment when we just cannot, physically or emotionally, go on any longer, we still persevere.

When we finally do acknowledge that again we have gone too far, it may be time to take a nap or exercise to release our emotions. Or we may choose to be with friends or family. We begin to understand that the bad times pass.

If we can just make it through one more moment, then the tables will turn in our favor.

I am able to make it through even the hardest hard day.

[bluidkiti]

April 12

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. --Wendell Berry
Blessed are all birds and animals, the wildest beasts, and, yes, all serpents, too, for they live in nature, in a state of natural grace. They live beyond the rules of evil and good. Their instincts are obedient only to the laws of survival, growth, and health. And as their lives unfurl in obedience to these laws, they suffer no shame, regret, or sin. Nor do they curse their failures, or themselves.
We can learn much from them. They harbor no evil toward one another, and they trust their own inner sense of how to live, and that their Higher Power makes sure everything which befalls them is for the best. Yes, they are blessed, and so are we, the highest animal.
What guilt can I free myself from today, just by letting go?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Anyone who lives art knows that psychoanalysis has no monopoly on the power to heal.... Art and poetry have always been altering our ways of sensing and feeling - that is to say, altering the human body. --Norman 0. Brown
A man can lead a healing life on many levels. On one level, many of us have turned to healing professionals for help. That may strengthen our program and be very beneficial for many of our problems.
Relationships heal when they are loving, affirming, reliable, committed, and loyal. Nature heals: a tree, a walk through tall grass, a dry seedpod, or a potted plant gives life when we turn in its direction. Beauty heals: music, a poem, a novel, or a picture may move us to another plane and teach us about life. Meditation heals: solitude, quiet relaxation, prayer, and cosmic consciousness bring an inner peace. Laughter heals. Physical activity heals. Doing something for others helps us. At the basic level, accepting ourselves as lovable men, just as we are, is the foundation for all healing.
The forces for renewal and wholeness are varied. May I reach out to them and be healed by them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge.
--Carmelia Elliott
Someone will be helped today by our kindness. Compassionate attention assures others that they do matter, and every one of us needs that reassurance occasionally. The program has given us the vehicle for giving and seeking the help we need--it's sponsorship.
Not all of the people we encounter share our program, however. Sponsorship as we know it isn't a reality in their lives. Offering words of encouragement to them, or a willing ear, can be unexpected gifts. They will be deeply appreciated.
The real gift, though, is to ourselves. Helping someone in need benefits the helper even more. Our own closeness to God and thus assurance about our own being is strengthened each time we do God's work--each time we do what our hearts direct.
We are healed in our healing of others. God speaks to us through our words to others. Our own well-being is enhanced each time we put someone else's well-being first.
We're all on a trip, following different road maps, but to the same destination. I will be ready to lend a helping hand to a troubled traveler today. It will breathe new life into my own trip.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Fear
Picture yourself swimming floating - peacefully down a gentle stream. All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow.
Suddenly, you become conscious of your situation. Frightened, overwhelmed with what ifs? your body tenses. You begin to thrash around, frantically looking for something to grab on to.
You panic so hard you start to go under. Then you remember - you're working too hard at this. You don't need to panic. All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow. You wont drown.
Panic is our great enemy.
We don't need to become desperate. If overwhelming problems appear in our life, we need to stop struggling. We can tread water for a bit, until our equilibrium returns. Then we can go back to floating peacefully down the gentle stream. It is our stream. It is a safe stream. Our course has been charted. All is well.
Today, I will relax, breathe, and go with the flow.


Today I know that every time I inhale, I am breathing in powerful healing energy. And every time I exhale I am letting go. I am letting go of all anxiety and stress, all negativity that is standing in the way of my feeling good about myself. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Open Yourself to the Wealth of the Universe

We all have sources we turn to for support. We may turn to special people in our lives– family members, friends, a lover. We may turn to nature– the mountains, trees, oceans, rivers, sun, moon, and stars. But we no longer have to limit ourselves to just one person, one source for love, energy, comfort, and guidance.

Certain people come into our lives for a short while to help us through particular times. Other people come to stay for a longer time. Sometimes we love people and are so deeply committed to them that they will be sources of energy and love for us, and we for them, for most of our lives. That’s good. That’s how it should be.

But while it’s good to have people who are special sources of support for us, allowing one person to be our sole support can mean trouble. We may begin to drain that person. We may become overly dependent. He or she may move away from us. Or we may become angry, as we usually do, at whomever or whatever we are dependent on. For many reasons, we may find ourselves in conflict with the one we have deemed our source. Something may happen that causes our source to no longer be available to us. It’s important to be conscious of what our needs are and to get our needs met. But it’s also important not to make one person responsible for doing that.

Open to a larger, more abundant source. That source is God. And God’s supply is the universe. When we look to God and the universe, we open ourselves to a never-ending supply of what we need– love, energy, teaching, support, information, guidance, and nurturing. Certain people and places may help us along our way, but God is our source for love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Is it what you really want?

“Are you still in that relationship?” I asked a friend one day.

“If I were really sick, I could be,” my friend said. “But I’ve decided not to do that to myself anymore.”

Sometimes, a door is open. We can walk through it and into that room. We can stay there as long as we want and as long as we can stand being in that room. Many of us have learned to take care of ourselves so well that we can be in extremely uncomfortable situations and still comfortably take care of ourselves.

The question then becomes not “Can I?” but, “Do I want to?”

There are many situations in life where we can insist on having our will and way, sometimes for an extended period of time. Stubbornness and persistence can be good qualities. We can stay with a thing until we learn it well. But we can also take that too far and stick with a thing– a project or relationship– when other weaker and wiser souls might have given up.

Instead of asking yourself if you can, ask yourself something different. If you’ve been hanging in there, trying harder, and diligently taking care of yourself, back off. Stop asking yourself if you’re good enough to handle the situation. Ask yourself if the situation is good for you.

God, help me take the time to ask myself, “Is this what I really want?”

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Creative Cuts
Editing Your Life

by Madisyn Taylor

Cutting out what isn't working in your life is a bold first step to creating the life that does work for you.


Our lives can be compared to an ongoing movie script over which we have complete creative control. Within us lies the power to examine what works or isn’t working in our lives and make “edits” to our life’s script, accordingly. Choosing to actively edit your life can be incredibly empowering. As you evolve, you have the choice to accept the script you’ve written thus far or edit it so you can create a life that fulfills you. You can cut out from your life’s script what is no longer working for you. Acknowledging that you are responsible for the experience you create gives you the ability to create the life you’ve always longed for.

Granted, editing your real life isn’t always as easy as erasing a line of text. If you’ve carried emotional baggage or held on to an unhealthy relationship for a long time, these may be difficult to edit out. But when you do cut out what isn’t working from your life, you’ll feel lighter and more alive. Editing out activities that you find stressful, disassociating yourself from people that drain your energy, and letting go of your emotional baggage are all beneficial cuts you can make. In the empty spaces that are left behind, you can add in anything you like. Just as you have the power to edit out negative situations or beliefs that you no longer wish to have as part of your life, you can now include the kinds of positive experiences, people, and beliefs that you would like to fill your life with. The manifestation of these thoughts and images as realities in your life will inevitably follow. As you make changes to your life, you can also add in the bits where you choose mo! re intimate, healthier relationships, seek out adventure over tedium, and are no longer negatively impacted by old experiences.

To begin editing your life, simply think about your positive and negative experiences. When you determine what parts of your life are no longer serving you, make the commitment to remove them – though, it is important to remember that there is no proper timing or way to do this, and patience and compassion for yourself are always important during this process. Then, ask yourself what has brought you profound bliss and consider how you can make those experiences and beliefs part of your life now. With a little editing, you’ll be able to clear out what is no longer serving you and make room in your life for more happiness, love, and wisdom. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

If we attempt to understand rather than to be understood, we can more quickly assure a newcomer that we have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. All of us, whatever our race, creed, color or ethnic heritage are the children of a living Creator, which whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms — as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. Do I know the difference between sympathy and empathy? Can I put myself in the newcomer’s shoes?

Today I Pray

May I try to love all humanity as children of a living God. May I respect the different ways through which they find and worship Him. May I respect the different ways through which they find and worship Him. May I never be so rigid as to discount another’s path to God or so insensitive that I use the fellowship of the group as a preaching ground to extol my religion beliefs as the only way. I can only know what works for me.

Today I Will Remember

We are all children of God.

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One More Day

A crisis event often explodes the illusions that … anchor our lives.
– Robert Veninga

Chronic illness an become so common-place for us that we lull ourselves into thinking we’ve become the best we can be and believing we can handle everything. When another crisis occurs — family problems, financial setbacks, or loss of friends — we may stubbornly try to fix the situation, only to be rewarded with self-pity or anger or sadness.

In time, we usually realize that we don’t have to carry every burden or solve every problem. sometimes there is no answer other than acceptance of a situation as being unchangeable. What can be changed is our reaction to this fact. We can, as we have before, build our lives around the new situation. We can allow ourselves to grow into a greater maturity.

Every day, every experience is an opportunity to grow.

[bluidkiti]

April 13

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If I have freedom in my life, And in my soul am free, Angels alone that soar above Enjoy such liberty. --Richard Lovelace
When a cow decides to stop nursing her calf, she isn't rejecting it. She knows it's time for the calf to be on its own. Although the calf might feel rejected and puzzled at first, it soon adapts to its new independence and freedom.
When we feel rejected, it's useful to remember that whatever has caused us to feel this way might have nothing to do with us. It might be a reflection of what's happening with someone else, or just the end of a natural stage in life, as with the calf.
When we understand that others' actions toward us come from their own feelings, and that we don't cause their feelings any more than they control ours, we can free ourselves from a little bit of fear and self-hate. We can see what seems to be rejection as an open door, with our freedom on the other side.
What rejections have set me free?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Just be what you are and speak from your guts and heart - it's all a man has. --Hubert Humphrey
Some of us have doubted our inner voice so completely that we abandoned it totally. Many of us have discovered in recovery that by our denial we had violated our inner voice with lies, even to ourselves. Now we question whether we can trust our instincts, and we may not know what we feel.
Masculine spiritual recovery is a return to our guts and our heart. Standing up and speaking from our hearts may be difficult at times, but our self-respect rises as we do. That is where we go for our final decision-making. We develop better reception for the inner voice as we live this program. We accept that we are never absolutely right. We continue with humility, knowing we may be wrong and listening to others and our Higher Power. Yet we must live with our choices.
I will seek the courage to be faithful to my own instincts.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It seems to me that I have always been waiting for something better - sometimes to see the best I had snatched from me.
--Dorothy Reed Mendenhall
Gratitude for what is prepares us for the blessings just around the corner. What is so necessary to understand is that our wait for what's around the corner closes our eyes to the joys of the present moment. We have only the 24 hours ahead of us. In fact, all we can be certain of having is the moment we are presently experiencing. And it is a gift to be enjoyed. There is no better gift just right for us than this moment, at this time.
We can, each of us, look back on former days, realizing that we learned too late the value of a friend or an experience. Both are now gone. With practice and a commitment to ourselves, we can learn to reap the benefits of today, hour by hour. When we detach from the present and wait for tomorrow, or next week, or look to next year, we are stunting our spiritual growth. Life can only bless us now, one breath at a time.
I can live in the present if I choose to. Gentle reminders are often necessary, however. I will step into my life, today. It can become a habit, one I will never want to break.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Communication
Part of owning our power is learning to communicate clearly, directly, and assertively. We don't have to beat around the bush in our conversations to control the reactions of others. Guilt producing comments only produce guilt. We don't have to fix or take care of people with our words; we cant expect others to take care of us with words either. We can settle for being heard and accepted. And we can respectfully listen to what others have to say.
Hinting at what we need doesn't work. Others cant read our mind, and they're likely to resent our indirectness. The best way to take responsibility for what we want is to ask for it directly. And, we can insist on directness from others. If we need to say no to a particular request, we can. If someone is trying to control us through a conversation, we can refuse to participate.
Acknowledging feelings such as disappointment or anger directly, instead of making others guess at our feelings or having our feelings come out in other ways, is part of responsible communication. If we don't know what we want to say, we can say that too.
We can ask for information and use words to forge a closer connection, but we don't have to take people around the block with our conversations. We don't have to listen to, or participate in, nonsense. We can say what we want and stop when were done.
Today, I will communicate clearly and directly in my conversations with others. I will strive to avoid manipulative, indirect, or guilt producing statements. I can be tactful and gentle whenever possible. And I can be assertive if necessary.


It is beautiful to know that I am the creator of how I think and feel today, that I can choose my now. Today I choose to feel joy and I will do all that I have to do to make that possible. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Give Freely of What You’ve Been Given

Learning not to overcare, overgive, and overdo are the lessons of the past. We have learned them, learned them well. There was a time when we needed to monitor our giving because we were giving compulsively, almost addictively, with no thought to what felt right in our heart, with no understanding of loving ourselves. But that was yesterday.

This is now. We can trust ourselves to know when it’s time to stop or when our giving has become destructive. We can trust ourselves to know when it’s not our job to give, because now we are connected to ourselves, listening to ourselves, on track.

Give freely of your time, your heart, your joy, your wisdom. Share your experiences, your strength, your hope. Share your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Share your money, your gifts, your laughter. Share your hope. Share yourself.

Give freely of what you’ve been given, and the universe will provide you with exactly what you need. Give freely and the universe will give freely to you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Let yourself make mistakes

There are times we don’t know which way to proceed or what to do next. We can become so blocked and stymied trying to figure it out that we just sit and spin our wheels. In those situations, the solution may involve making some choice– even if it turns out to be the wrong one.

Ideally, we can meditate on our choices and one way will feel right and clear, and the other won’t. But in those times when we can’t get clear, sometimes we have to give things a try. Take that job. Move into a condo. Date that woman. If it’s a mistake, you can correct it as honestly, quickly, and humbly as you can.

You don’t have to live life as perfectly as you think. Sometimes it takes making a mistake in order for us to get clear.

God, help me let go of perfectionism. Help me give myself permission to live.

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Getting Unstuck
From Getting Unstuck On-line Course

by Pema Chodron

The following is an excerpt from the "Getting Unstuck" on-line course. If you would like to enroll in the course, click here.


Each of us gets hooked in habitual ways of seeing the world, but how we respond to these situations will in large part determine how much peace and freedom we experience in our lives.

Once we learn to recognize when we’re caught, and our own unique styles of getting hooked, we then have the opportunity to do something different, to choose a fresh alternative.

Positive Groundlessness and the Three Difficult Practices

The first difficult practice is noticing when you get hooked, when you get caught in a habitual pattern which causes you to suffer. Pema explains that, with some practice, you can catch on to this rather quickly and begin to clearly notice when you are hooked. Further, we learn that getting hooked, in and of itself, is not actually a problem; it is quite natural and arises spontaneously in all of us. There is no suffering inherent in the hooking itself, Pema explains, but only in how we respond to it.

The second difficult practice is: do something different. This practice is much more difficult to catch on to, Pema teaches, and goes against the grain of our conditioning and habits. This practice is also referred to as “choosing a fresh alternative.” Through this practice, we begin to explore the interruption of the momentum which keeps our suffering alive. In the face of this “being hooked”, we often speak and act in ways which only serve to strengthen our habits of resentment, anger, blaming others, and so forth, which just entrench us in patterns that make us more and more unhappy.

The third and final difficult practice is making this exploration a way of life. The notion here is that this is not just a one-time thing where you notice you’re hooked, choose a fresh alternative, and then it’s all over. These patterns are something that will continue to arise in our experience, leaving us with dozens or hundreds of opportunities each week to notice the various ways we get caught in the momentum of our habitual responses to life’s challenges.

We also learn about the teaching of “positive groundlessness.” When we notice that we’ve been hooked, we find it very difficult to relax into the experience and to stay open and unbiased, simply experiencing the rawness of what is there. In this space we see that there is truly nothing to hold onto-- no bias, no preference. On the one hand, this experience is quite terrifying, this reality of no ground underneath our feet, no fixed reference point or view in which we can hang out in. But this groundlessness is also filled with “positive” qualities, such as wide open vastness, limitlessness, and extraordinary potential. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Any number of addicted people are bedeviled by the dire conviction that if they ever go near The Program — whether by attending meetings or talking on-tune with a member — they’ll be pressured to conform to some particular brand of faith or religion. They don’t realize that faith is never an imperative for membership in The Program; that freedom from addiction can be achieved with an easily acceptable minimum of it; and that our concerts of a Higher Power and God — as we understand Him — afford everyone a nearly unlimited choice of spiritual belief and action. Am I receiving strength by sharing with newcomers?

Today I Pray

May I never frighten newcomers or keep away those who are considering coming to The Program by “laying on them” my particular, personal ideas about a Higher Power. May each discover his or her own spiritual identity. May all find within themselves a link with some great universal. Being or Spirit whose Power is greater than theirs individually. May I grow, both in tolerance and in spirituality, every day.

Today I Will Remember

I will reach, not preach.

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One More Day

Tears are summer showers to the soul.
– Alfred Austin

All our lives, we have been told that time would heal all wounds – and that if time couldn’t then the doctor would.

There are few things which may feel as final as a diagnosis of chronic illness. Chronic means forever — and we can never hardly conceive of a problem that will never go away. We may find ourselves crying over and over again, and wonder if the tears will ever end.

For many of us, our tears were how we began to grieve. Grief was how we started to heal ourselves emotionally from the burden of “forever.” The tears we shed helped cleanse our thoughts and bodies so we could move on to live the rest of our lives. Today, our grief and weeping will help us continue to grow.

I can let myself shed the purifying tears that well up in my heart. They will help me move on with my life.

[bluidkiti]

April 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There the penitents took off their shoes And walked barefoot the remaining mile. --Robert Lowell
Some people have to have pain. If dirt doesn't fall on their heads from the sky, they sulk in corners and hope their flesh turns to dust. They do everything the hard way, even when they know better, and often complain and accuse others for their pain. For people like this, even the song of a bird is a bother. It's better to smile when people like that accuse. It's better to wear shoes when walking on stones, better to take the shortest way. There is weeping and wailing enough in the world, dumps full of worn-out guilt and remorse. When the bird sings, it's better to look up and see that it beats its wings not to punish itself, but to fly.
Do I pity myself when I could be flying?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A person who is looking for something doesn't travel very fast. --E. B. White
What do men really want? What are we seeking? Many of us have felt driven and still feel restless or compulsive at times. We frantically followed our impulses to self-destructive extremes. Even those painful actions of our past were motivated, at the bottom line, by a spiritual search. What did we really seek in the bottle, or in the passionate bed, or in our work? Slowing down enough every day to let ourselves know what we are looking for gives us a much better chance of finding it.
Today we can slow down by taking twenty minutes for solitude and quiet, for meditation or prayer. We can call a friend simply for a moment of contact. We might read something to give ourselves some ideas to ponder, or we can listen to music which will transport us to another world. Perhaps we can simply walk more slowly from our cars or the bus stop to our homes. Often it is not the events in our lives that bring change but the space between events.
Today, I will try to remember that slowing down may help me find what I am seeking.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Only those who dare, truly live. --Ruth P. Freedman
We receive from life, from every experience, from each interaction according to what we have given. When we commit ourselves fully to an experience, it will bless us. When we give ourselves wholly to any moment, our awareness of reality will be heightened. When we risk knowing someone else, truly knowing them, we will find ourselves.
How common, and how unfortunate, that so many of us "escape" life! We escape through hiding, hiding from ourselves and others. We fear self-disclosure, our own and someone else's. Before choosing abstinence, our escape was easier. Now, the Steps make escape hard, fortunately.
Having a sponsor--and being one--helps. Taking a Fifth and working the Twelfth helps. Going to meetings and sharing helps. Our experiences today won't come around again---in just the same way. The people in our lives won't say again just what they'll say today. We must not miss out on what life offers. We can risk feeling it all, hearing it all, seeing it all.
The riches of a full life are so easily mine, and so deservedly mine.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Perfectionism
Recovery from codependency is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems, and facing tough issues.
Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows this process; it puts us in a guilty and anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive; it makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth.
People are human and vulnerable, and that is wonderful. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in that codependent state of moral superiority. Expecting ourselves to be perfect makes us feel rigid and inferior.
We can let go of both ideas.
We do not need to go to the other extreme; tolerating anything people throw our way. We can still expect appropriate, responsible behavior from ourselves. But most of us can afford to loosen up a bit. And when we stop expecting others to be perfect, we may discover that they're doing much better than we thought. When we stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, well discover the beauty in ourselves.
Today, I will practice tolerance, acceptance, and love of others as they are, and myself as I am. I will strive for that balance between expecting too much and expecting too little from others and myself.


Today I am growing in my awareness that my mind, body and spirit need exercise and nourishment. Through prayer and meditation, exercise and reading, I am developing a personal program for physical, mental and spiritual growth. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Relax

Too often out of sheer habit we tighten up, tense up, and then approach life from that stance. When we have something to do, our automatic response may be to tense up– shoulders and neck strained, back bent and cramped, breathing shallow. But anything that needs to be done can be done better if we’re relaxed.

Learn to relax. Program your body, each part of it, to let go and be at ease. Allow yourself to come into your natural posture and alignment. Learn to relax until moving, acting, speaking, being all come naturally from this relaxed place.

Find activities that help you do this. A hot bath. A massage. Sunning. Walking. Meditating. Teach yourself to become aware of how your body feels during these activities. Memorize that feeling. Practice relaxing until you can recall that memory and carry it throughout your day.

Periodically thoughout the day, take a few moments to check your tension level. If you find any part of your body tense, take a few more moments to consciously relax that part. Visualize warmth and ease flooding any part of your body that has become tight or is in pain. Let the tension, the stress, the blocks drain out from top to bottom. Your body wants to relax. It wants to become comfortable. It wants to heal itself.

Empty your mind of tense thoughts, and let it follow your body into relaxation and calm. Allow your mind to become still. Quietly accept each thought, then release it. Breathe in comforting, healing energy. Breathe it into your mind, into each cell of your body. Breathe out stress, strain, discomfort, and fear. Don’t resist what you are feeling or thinking. Accept it, then release it. Just as water cannot pass naturally through a pinched hose, your vital life force cannot flow freely through you if you are cramped and tense.

Honor the life force that is in you, that flows through you. Honor it by relaxing, opening to it, and inviting it to surge through your body.

The techniques of relaxation will refresh, restore, and recharge you, so that you can do all you need to do with more power and vigor than before. Anything that needs to be done can be done better if you’re relaxed.

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More Language Of Letting Go

What do you want?

“I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things,” a friend said. “I stood in front of the condiments section, staring at the pickles and olives. What I really wanted was the olives. What I bought was the pickles. It wasn’t about the cost,” he said. “It was about deliberately depriving myself of what I want.”

Sometimes things happen in life. We’ve talked about that before. We start out with good intentions about what we want: a family, health, a modicum of success in our career. Then something unforeseen rips it away. Maybe our family life as a child was destroyed when someone in the family got sick or died. Maybe this happened later in life– when we were betrayed by a spouse.

We may not be able to have everything we want in life. And we may sometimes get things we thought we wanted, then change our mind. But we still don’t have to torture ourselves by telling ourselves that we can’t have what we want.

What do you want? Do you know? Or have you shut that part of yourself down? Yes, we all have times of discipline. And there’s much to be learned by denying ourselves, at certain times, of certain pleasures. It’s not good to want something or someone so much that desire runs and rules our lives. And sometimes wanting what we can’t have can make life more interesting.

But it’s okay to open our hearts to ourselves and be clear about what we want in our small and larger choices. Learn to master desire.

Open your heart to what you want. Then say it. Pickles or olives, which will it be?

God, teach me to master my desires. Grant me the wisdom to know when something needs to be off-limits for me, and when I am unnecessarily depriving myself of the pleasures and joys here on earth.

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The Mirroring World
We Are Like Nature

Nature is a mirror, inspiring and teaching us, deepening our sense of belonging in the world. Wherever you look, you can see that our patterns and the patterns of the natural world are the same. You can find this resonance in every form, from molecules to plants and animals and to planets. We live our lives according to the same principles as the trees, the mountains, the clouds, and the birds.

We begin our lives in the womb, folded in on ourselves like the bud of a flower. We can see our whole lives in the mirror of this natural form. When we emerge from the womb, we slowly begin our unfolding, just as the flower begins to open its petals. At its prime, the flower draws many insects to it and also the eyes of appreciative humans. When the flower’s petals begin to fade and its life cycle comes to an end, it ceases to hold itself upright and returns to the earth. Traditionally, we return to the earth, just as all plants and animals do. Like flowers, we leave behind seeds in the forms of children and other gifts only we could have given. They continue to unfold even after we are gone. Rebirth is encoded into our lives, and death is just one part of the cycle.

Look around you, and you will find connection and insight. Notice how your moods shift from one to another like the sky shifts from bright blue to turbulent grays. Your thoughts are like clouds, appearing, changing shape, passing through, and then disappearing without a trace. The rain cleanses the sky, just as an emotional release cleanses your mind. The sky itself is your eternal awareness, unchanging underneath all these permutations. Let it reflect back to you your own abiding perfection.

As you walk through the world, find your own metaphors for connectedness in nature. Flesh them out fully and follow them as they lead you through the mystery and intelligence of life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Every man and woman who has joined The Program and intends to stick around has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn’t it true that, in all matters related to their addictions, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of The Program? So already a willingness has been achieved to cast out one’s own will and one’s own ideas about the addiction in favor of those suggested by The Program. If this isn’t turning one’s will and life over to a new-found “Providence,” then what is it? Have I had a spiritual awakening as the results of The Steps?

Today I Pray

For myself, I pray for a God-centered life. I think Him often for the spiritual awakening. I have felt since I turned my awakening I have felt since I turned my life over to Him. May the words “spiritual awakening” be a clue to others that there is a free fund of spiritual power within each person. It must only be discovered.

Today I Will Remember

I will try to be God-centered.

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One More Day

You are the handicap you must face. You are the one who must choose your place.
– James Allen

Each of us carries a handicap, although some handicaps are more obvious than others. They can be physical limitations, but they can also be emotions, feelings, or attitudes that impede the full enjoyment and promise of living. A handicap may be an image problem or dismay at how we walk or talk, or it could be chronic illness. And we certainly can have more than one handicap.

A full life depends on our ability to cope with our difficulties and to decide whether any of them are self-imposed. We haven’t chosen all our limitations — physical or emotional — but we can choose to strip our lives of the ones we’ve created. And we can choose how we will respond to the others.

I will define my special place in the world, and I will try to meet my own best expectations.

[bluidkiti]

April 15

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If I have freedom in my life, And in my soul am free, Angels alone that soar above Enjoy such liberty. --Richard Lovelace
When a cow decides to stop nursing her calf, she isn't rejecting it. She knows it's time for the calf to be on its own. Although the calf might feel rejected and puzzled at first, it soon adapts to its new independence and freedom.
When we feel rejected, it's useful to remember that whatever has caused us to feel this way might have nothing to do with us. It might be a reflection of what's happening with someone else, or just the end of a natural stage in life, as with the calf.
When we understand that others' actions toward us come from their own feelings, and that we don't cause their feelings any more than they control ours, we can free ourselves from a little bit of fear and self-hate. We can see what seems to be rejection as an open door, with our freedom on the other side.
What rejections have set me free?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Just be what you are and speak from your guts and heart - it's all a man has. --Hubert Humphrey
Some of us have doubted our inner voice so completely that we abandoned it totally. Many of us have discovered in recovery that by our denial we had violated our inner voice with lies, even to ourselves. Now we question whether we can trust our instincts, and we may not know what we feel.
Masculine spiritual recovery is a return to our guts and our heart. Standing up and speaking from our hearts may be difficult at times, but our self-respect rises as we do. That is where we go for our final decision-making. We develop better reception for the inner voice as we live this program. We accept that we are never absolutely right. We continue with humility, knowing we may be wrong and listening to others and our Higher Power. Yet we must live with our choices.
I will seek the courage to be faithful to my own instincts.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It seems to me that I have always been waiting for something better - sometimes to see the best I had snatched from me.
--Dorothy Reed Mendenhall
Gratitude for what is prepares us for the blessings just around the corner. What is so necessary to understand is that our wait for what's around the corner closes our eyes to the joys of the present moment. We have only the 24 hours ahead of us. In fact, all we can be certain of having is the moment we are presently experiencing. And it is a gift to be enjoyed. There is no better gift just right for us than this moment, at this time.
We can, each of us, look back on former days, realizing that we learned too late the value of a friend or an experience. Both are now gone. With practice and a commitment to ourselves, we can learn to reap the benefits of today, hour by hour. When we detach from the present and wait for tomorrow, or next week, or look to next year, we are stunting our spiritual growth. Life can only bless us now, one breath at a time.
I can live in the present if I choose to. Gentle reminders are often necessary, however. I will step into my life, today. It can become a habit, one I will never want to break.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Communication
Part of owning our power is learning to communicate clearly, directly, and assertively. We don't have to beat around the bush in our conversations to control the reactions of others. Guilt producing comments only produce guilt. We don't have to fix or take care of people with our words; we cant expect others to take care of us with words either. We can settle for being heard and accepted. And we can respectfully listen to what others have to say.
Hinting at what we need doesn't work. Others cant read our mind, and they're likely to resent our indirectness. The best way to take responsibility for what we want is to ask for it directly. And, we can insist on directness from others. If we need to say no to a particular request, we can. If someone is trying to control us through a conversation, we can refuse to participate.
Acknowledging feelings such as disappointment or anger directly, instead of making others guess at our feelings or having our feelings come out in other ways, is part of responsible communication. If we don't know what we want to say, we can say that too.
We can ask for information and use words to forge a closer connection, but we don't have to take people around the block with our conversations. We don't have to listen to, or participate in, nonsense. We can say what we want and stop when were done.
Today, I will communicate clearly and directly in my conversations with others. I will strive to avoid manipulative, indirect, or guilt producing statements. I can be tactful and gentle whenever possible. And I can be assertive if necessary.


It is beautiful to know that I am the creator of how I think and feel today, that I can choose my now. Today I choose to feel joy and I will do all that I have to do to make that possible. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Imagine What You Want

What do you want? What do you want to create in your life? What situation do you want to live in? Describe the scenario. Imagine it. We can often have what we want, but we rarely take the time to imagine it. And imagination is the first step toward creativity.

What do you want? What would it look like, feel like? Is what you’re working so hard on what you really want? That relationship? That job? That home? If it is, go for it. If it’s not, imagine and create something different.

Begin with imagination. Imagine what you really want in your mind, and you’ve taken the first step toward creating it. If you don’t know what you want, that’s okay too. Ask the universe for help. Ask God and the universe to bring you your highest good.

Ask the universe to help you create exactly what you want and need. Trust the universe, and you will be trusting an honorable and benevolent friend.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what you can’t have

“Why is it,” one man asked, “that if I walk into a room with one hundred women, the one I’m attracted to will either be engaged to someone else or live across the country? Will someone please explain that to me?”

I laughed when he asked the question, although he wasn’t trying to be funny. Many people find themselves enamored with what they can’t have. His question struck a cord because I’m one of them. Unavailability– and not being able to have what you want– although painful, can be deliciously enticing in many ways.

That miserable, deprived place feels so comfy and familiar to us. Even though we know where it leads– to letdown, loneliness, sitting by the phone– we’ll let that feeling lead us around by the nose.

Wanting what we can’t have is a universal dilemma. It’s so easy to conjure up fantasies about how delicious it would be if we could only have that, even though we know we never could. Then we don’t have to deal with what we have. And we don’t have to face issues like intimacy, commitment, and love.

Learn to recognize longing and yearning for what we can’t have. And ask for the courage and wisdom to learn about the true delights of available, requited love.

If we begin yearning for something we can’t have, we don’t have to take ourselves so seriously. We can see it for what it is and just enjoy a good laugh at ourselves.

God, help me stop sabotaging myself.

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Creating What We Don’t Want
When Worry becomes A Prayer

If prayer is an intention that we announce to the universe in order to create a desired outcome, then our every thought is a prayer. This includes thoughts of worry as well as of hope. All thoughts are subtle creative energy. Some thoughts are more focused or repeated more often, gathering strength. Some are written down or spoken, giving them even greater power. Every thought we have is part of a process whereby we cocreate our experience and our reality with the universe. When we use our creative energy unconsciously, we create what is commonly known as self-fulfilling prophecy. In essence, when we worry, we are repeatedly praying and lending our energy to the creation of something we don’t want.

The good news is that we can retrain our minds and thoughts to focus our energy on what we do desire to bring into our lives. Since most worry is repetitive, it will take more than one positive thought to counteract the energy we’ve created. The simplest antidote to worry is affirmations. When we hold these positive thoughts, repeat them often, speak them and write them and refer to them throughout our day, we are using focused energy to create positive results.

We can start right away, together: I am a creative being, using my energy to cocreate a wonderful world. I know that I create my experience of life from within, and as I do so, I also create ripples of energy around me that echo into the world. My positive thoughts gather together with the thoughts and prayers of others, and together we create enough positive energy to heal not only our own lives but the world we share. I am grateful for the ability to cocreate good in my life and in the world.

A lot of times we have concerned loved ones that worry about us. When this happens they are also sending out a worry prayer to the world. A loving conversation letting them know what is happening is the easiest solution. Also, ask them to send you positive affirmations rather than worry about you. After all, worry doesn’t do them any good either. Explain to them that worry can actually be energetically harmful to you and that wishing good things for you is much more beneficial and much more fun too. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Rare are the practicing alcoholics who have any idea how irrational they are, or, seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. One reason is that they are abetted in their blindness by a world which doesn’t yet understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism. The dictionary defines sanity as “soundness of mind.” Yet no alcoholics, soberly analyzing his or her destructive behavior, can truly claim soundness of mind. Have I come to believe, as the Second Step suggests, that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity?

Today I Pray

May I see that my own behavior as a practicing alcoholic, a drug-user or a compulsive over-eater, could be described as “insane.” For those still actively addicted, admitting to “”insane” behavior is well-nigh impossible. I pray that I may continue to abhor the insanities and inanities of my addictive days. May others like me recognize their problems of addiction, find help in treatment and in The Program, and come to believe that a Higher Power can restore them to sanity.

Today I Will Remember

He restoreth my soul.

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One More Day

Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed.
– Irene Peter

Chance may happen gradually without our being aware of it. A sudden event may force us to recognize how different our lives have become. Yet even when the details or circumstances have changed, we may discover that the real meaning of our lives has remained the same.

We still carry many of the same values as before. We are thankful for the stable relationships that have grown as we have become stronger. We still strive to succeed in the goals we’ve set. We continue to look for — and to find — meaning in our life experiences. Certainly, we’ve changed and many things are different, but we continue to carry within ourselves the unique person we each are, the person we’ve always been.

I have always been a person capable of tremendous growth. I’m thankful that I can make changes that will help me grow.

[bluidkiti]

April 16

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
. . . there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. --Booker T. Washington
It's not what we do for a job that counts, it's how we do it. It's not what our chores at home might be, it's how we do them. And it's not what grades we get in school, but rather how hard we try. Doing our best, whether it's making a bed, writing a report, or listening to a friend tell about an experience gives us a good feeling about ourselves.
Each of us is special to one another. And we are special to this very moment. Because what is past can't be repeated, let's remember to enjoy every moment as it comes. Let's pay close attention to each person, each activity that we encounter today. It's not what we do today, but how we do it that counts.
Can I do each thing well today, even the small things?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A woman should be able to be both independent and dependent, active and passive, relaxed and serious, practical and romantic, tender and tough minded, thinking and feeling, dominant and submissive. So, obviously, should a man! --Pierre Mornell
The weakest men, most vulnerable to stresses in life, are those with narrow ideas about masculinity. In our growth, we are finding parts of ourselves we didn't know were there. Some of us are finding the tough part of us that makes it possible to stand up to our bosses or our wives or lovers when necessary. We are also finding the soft parts, warm parts, sad parts. And the greater the variety of sides we develop, the more successful we are in meeting life.
Whatever we discover about ourselves is another example of being human. Sometimes we might think what we feel is not right, or is weak or sick. We need never fear our feelings. The denial of our feelings had devastating effects on us. Knowing and accepting our many sides will lead us into strength and health.
I am thankful that I am able to be both sides of many coins.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome, stubbornness is stupid. --Simone de Beauvoir
Sudden obstacles, barriers in the way of our progress, doors that unexpectedly close, may confuse, frustrate, even depress us. The knowledge that we seldom understand just what is best for us, comes slowly. And we generally fight it, even after we've begun to understand. Fortunately, the better path will keep drawing us to it.
We may wonder why a door seems to have closed. Our paths are confounded only when our steps have gone astray. Doors do not close unless a new direction is called for. We must learn to trust that no obstacle is without its purpose, however baffling it may seem.
The program can help us understand the unexpected. We perhaps need to focus on the first three Steps when an obstacle has surfaced. We may need to accept our powerlessness, believe there is a higher power in control, and look to it for guidance. We may also need to remind ourselves that fighting an obstacle, pushing against a closed door, will only heighten our frustration. Acceptance of what is will open our minds and our hearts to the better road to travel at this time.
The obstacles confronting me invite me to grow, to move beyond my present self. They offer me chances to be the woman I always dreamed of being. I will be courageous. I am not alone.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Things Happen
We do not have to work so hard at gaining our insights. Yes, were learning that painful and disappointing things happen, often for a reason and a higher purpose. Yes, these things often work out for good. But we don't have to spend so much time and energy figuring out the purpose and plan for each detail of our life. That's hypervigilence!
Sometimes, the car doesn't start. Sometimes, the dishwasher breaks. Sometimes, we catch a cold. Sometimes, we run out of hot water. Sometimes, we have a bad day. While it helps to achieve acceptance and gratitude for these irritating annoyances, we don't have to process everything and figure out if its in the scheme of things.
Solve the problem. Get the car repaired. Fix the dishwasher. Nurse yourself through the cold. Wait to take the shower until there's hot water. Nurture yourself through your bad day. Tend to your responsibilities, and don't take everything so personally!
If we need to recognize a particular insight or awareness, we will be guided in that direction. Certainly, we want to watch for patterns. But often, the big insights and the significant processing happen naturally.
We don't have to question every occurrence to see how it fits into the Plan. The Plan - the awareness, the insight, and the potential for personal growth - will reveal itself to us. Perhaps the lesson is to learn to solve our problems without always knowing their significance. Perhaps the lesson is to trust ourselves to live, and experience, life.
Today, I will let things happen without worrying about the significance of each event. I will trust that this will bring about my growth faster than running around with a microscope. I will trust my lessons to reveal themselves in their own time.


Today I picture myself flooded with the glow of a powerful bright light that is guiding me on my positive path of success and happiness. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

You’ll See the Answer

The answer you are looking for may be right before your eyes.

Have you asked the question? Have you put it out to God, the universe, yourself, and the world?

What do I need to do now? What do I need to do next? Where and why am I stuck? What am I not seeing? What’s the answer? I need a clue.

Often, asking the question means the answer is trying to find you. Follow your heart, then open your eyes. You’ll see it.

The answer may be right in front of you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what’s next best

Okay, so you can’t have what you want most in life.

What’s next on your list? If you can’t have what you really want, put that aside. It’s a no. It doesn’t mean you can’t have other things. Don’t let it contaminate the rest of your life. So you can’t have that particular relationship. What do you want, a good healthy love relationship? Put it on your want list. So you can’t live in that house. What did you like about that house? What would you like in the place you want to live?

Dig deeply. Look inside. I bet there’s all kinds of dreams buried in you. Go ahead. Take a risk. Let them come out. Look– you’re already thinking about something you denied yourself a long time ago.

Most of us have things in life we wanted more than anything or anyone else. Many of us have had to learn to let these things or people go. Put all the things you can’t have on a different list. Or maybe add it to your list of questions to God, your “why’s.” “God, why couldn’t I have that when it’s what I wanted most?” Then let it go.

Now make another list. Call it, “if I can’t have what I wanted most, what would I want next best, after that.

God, help me come up with a next best list. Show me what to put on it and help my dreams come true.

Activity: Make a wishes and dreams list. This is a very important list. We talked about doing it at the first of the year. If you made your list then and are satisfied with it, maybe this activity isn’t for you. But if you think you may have held back, or you didn’t make the list at all, the time is right for you to start pursuing your dreams. If you could have anything in life, what would it be? What places would you visit? What peope would you meet? What kind of work would you do? Where would you live? What kind of spiritual growth would you experience? How would you treat others, and yourself? What ideals would guide your actions? What would your ethics be in life? Spice this list up. Don’t hold back.

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Co-Creating with Nature
Conscious Gardening

by Madisyn Taylor

When we decide to give up control of our garden and work in cooperation with the earth, your garden and your life will blossom.


Gardens offer us a perfect opportunity to reconnect to our true selves and remember our place in the natural world. Rather than approach our gardens as mere investments of energy, we can look at the entire process of gardening, from planting seeds to harvesting food, as a way of deepening our conscious relationship with the creative force of the universe. If we are willing to shift our intention from dominating, or at least directing nature, to co-creating with nature instead, we may discover a deep peace and renewed sense of wonder.

To co-create we must first begin with a foundation of mutual respect. As you create your garden in partnership with nature, you can respect the earth, water, insects and animals by using organic seeds, soil and fertilizers. You can also communicate with the plants, insects and elements involved in your garden, and create a regular practice of stillness to listen for any messages they may have for you. When it comes time for harvesting fresh vegetables or picking beautiful blooms, you might even ask permission first. If you ask with an open heart, you will always receive an answer.

Imagine what it would be like to surrender certain aspects of your human world to the precision and surety of the natural environment. You might decide, for example, to forego your calendar and plant in rhythm with the cycles of the moon. Or, you might choose to ignore clock time and water your garden when the sun hits a certain position in the sky. By opening your garden experience to more of nature’s input, you can become available to witness a whole universe of miracles, while engendering a greater sense of honor between the two worlds.

When we recognize ourselves as allies, co-creators, with the earth and the natural world, our relationship to our environment begins to change. We no longer feel the need to control the circumstances around us and can relish in the perfection of all that is. Published with permission from Daily OM

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In God’s Care

God is no enemy to you. He asks no more than that He hear you call Him “Friend.”
~~A Course in Miracles

It is natural for us to take a bit of pride in where we find ourselves today. It is natural for self-centered people like us to think we owe it all to our own efforts. So it’s an imposition to be asked to turn our will over to our Creator. We sometimes feel resentful at the suggestion that God can do a better job of running our life.

We don’t even want to think about the sacrifices we might have to make with God in charge. But God doesn’t ask for sacrifice. God is not our enemy; we are. God only asks, as our friend, to be included in our decisions.

My prayer today: Thanks, Friend, for my continuing recovery. Join me in everything that I do today.

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I once heard it said that “the mind is the slayer of the real.” Looking back at the insanity of those days when I was actively addicted, I know precisely what that phrase means. One of The Program’s important fringe benefits for me today is an increasing awareness of the world around me, so I can see and enjoy reality. This alone helps diminish the difficulties I so often magnify, creating my own misery in the process. Am I acquiring the sense of reality which is absolutely essential to serenity?

Today I Pray

May I be revived by a sharpened sense of reality, excited to see — for the first time since the blur of my worst moments — the wonders and opportunities in my world. Emerging from the don’t-care haze of addiction, I see objects and faces coming into focus again, colors brightening. May I take delight in this new-found brightness.

Today I Will Remember

To focus on my realities.

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One More Day

Any real progress in the tangled world of emotions must be made by the individual. Each of us must hold the mirror to our own souls and gaze intently at what we see there.
– Benard S. Raskas

“Making do” is an old-fashioned phrase that signifies our ability to manage with whatever we have. We have all thought of that phrase in terms of food, money, or clothes, but rarely in terms of health.

If we have not begun to cope with our limitations, we may find ourselves wallowing in the negativity of self-pity or anger. We may become so entangled in these self defeating thoughts that we lose our ability to grow and to see other real choices. Instead of raging at the unfairness of poor health or limited mobility, we can “make do” with the strength, time, ability, and creativity we sill have.

I will use what I have and not bemoan what I don’t have.

[bluidkiti]

April 17

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If your heart catches in your throat ask a bird how she sings. --Cooper Edens
The idea of your heart getting caught in your throat and then asking a bird how she sings may seem silly. It is, but being silly is sometimes exactly what we need. Instead of always trying to figure out the lumps in our throats, we can learn how to sing with them.
Birds sing all day. Their songs are lighthearted and playful. And they bring us color along with their songs. We have all stopped to notice a special bird outside the window. A bird song can be a lullaby. It can be laughter. We need these things in our lives, too. By playing and laughing, we change the lumps in our throats to songs.
What sadness can I turn into song today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is extraordinary how extraordinary the ordinary person is. --George F. Will
At our meetings, we often hear stories of the courage of ordinary people and their triumph against great odds. When we hear of a person's life being restored, we are witnesses to miracles. Our friends are heroes and so are we. As a man describes his passage from insanity to recovery, we are moved. Whenever we are truly open to knowing the people around us, whether at a meeting or in getting to know a neighbor, we will see heroism. It is amazing that when we get to know most people, and hear what their lives have been like, we find so much to admire and respect. It is a privilege to have such friends. It is amazing that they are so abundant when we open ourselves to them. God truly does speak to us through others.
I am grateful when I think about the extraordinary people around me and the courage in each of them. I am grateful to be among them.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
I can stand what I know. It's what I don't know that frightens me. --Frances Newton
Fear of the unknown, often referred to as free-floating anxiety, catches up to us on occasion. But it needn't. The program offers us strength whenever we need it, and faith diminishes all fear. It is said that fear cannot exist where there is faith.
We have many days when we feel strong, in touch with our higher power, able to meet all situations. On those days, we are seldom conscious of how our faith is guiding us. But the hours of fear that we experience on other days make us aware of faith's absence. There is a simple solution: We can reach out to a friend. We can be attentive to her needs, and the connection to God will be made.
Shifting our focus, from self-centered fears to another person's needs, offers us a perspective on our own life. It also offers us a chance to let God work through us. Our own faith is strengthened each time we offer our services to God and to a friend in need. What may frighten us seems less important the closer we are to the people in our lives.
When I touch someone else, God touches me in return.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves
We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as self care. Self care is not, as some may think, a spin off of the me generation. It isn't self-indulgence. It isn't selfishness - in the negative interpretation of that word.
Were learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obsessively focusing on another person. Were learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self care also means tending to our true responsibilities to others; we do this better when were not feeling overly responsible.
Self care sometimes means, me first, but usually, me too. It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims.
Self care means learning to love the person were responsible for taking care of - ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us.
Self-care isn't selfish; its self-esteem.
Today, God, help me love myself. Help me let go of feeling excessively responsible for those around me. Show me what I need to do to take care of myself and be appropriately responsible to others.


Today I choose to think positive and loving thoughts. I know that if I do this I will feel loving and positive and create a positive and loving world for those around me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Listen to the Voice of Your Heart

Cultivate the art of listening to your intuition, your inner voice. This is the guidance of your heart. It’s a voice that speaks differently from the one in your head. The heart whispers softly, the head prattles loudly.

The head has an agenda for our lives. It chatters away boldly, but its vision is limited. It leaves no room for the mysterious workings of the universe, nor does it take into account the side trips we need to get where we’re going, where our souls need to go. It’s the voice that says, This is the way it’s going to be.

The heart, the inner voice, speaks differently. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it pulls. Sometimes it pushes. It’s spontaneous, in the present moment, and often a surprise. The heart takes into account what has to be done and the best way to do that. The heart takes emotions into account– the way things feel, the way you feel, the wisdom of your soul. The heart leads us into and through the lessons we’re here to learn.

Cultivate your inner voice. Practice listening to the whispers of your heart. Practice trusting your intuition, what you really feel, what you really know. Practice until that voice is the one that you hear.

Be patient. Be gentle. Let yourself learn to hear the gentle and trustworthy words of your heart.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Keep your balance

Sometimes, our legitimate needs and wants run amuck.

We want something so badly– for instance our spouse sobering up, or that job, or that woman or that man– that we begin to obsess and dwell. We take ourselves out of that place of balance and end up in a no-win tailspin.

It’s not that what we want and need is bad for us. It’s just that right now, what we want isn’t, obviously, taking place. Don’t take it out on yourself by judging yourself wrong. Don’t take it out on your needs by telling yourself you shouldn’t have any.

Relax. Come back to center, to that clear, balanced place.

Don’t let your needs and desires run away with you. Yes, passion is great stuff. Identify what you want. Then let it go. And ask God what your lesson is.

Today, I will come back to balance with any need or want that seems to be controlling my life. Instead of dwelling on it, I’ll give it to God and focus on taking care of myself.

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In God’s Care

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
~~Albert Schweitzer

Throughout our life we’ve been influenced by other people’s behavior and opinions. Many of us were influenced by very poor examples in earlier years. And we may have to pray for help rather than continuing to follow those poor examples now. But all around us are people who are healthy, loving, and honest. We are invited to emulate their behavior.

Acting As If can help us develop new behaviors. We may not feel very comfortable reaching out to a program newcomer or making conversation with someone we’ve just met, but we can do it. And in time, with practice, we’ll discover we’ve added a positive dimension to our character, one that influences the lives of other people who struggle just like us. All of us, Acting As If in positive ways, offer wonderful examples of behavior change. We reinforce our own changes, and each others every time we are thoughtful before we act.

With my Higher Power’s help, I will be a good example for someone today.

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Raising Our Consciousness
Stepping out from Where We Were

by Madisyn Taylor

We cannot gain a sense of power in our lives while identifying ourselves as a victim.


Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew.” A Nobel Prize winner, Albert Einstein’s scientific theories transformed the world’s understanding of the universe and its workings, so we can believe that these words come from his personal experience and helped him to explore both science and life itself. He offered us an example of what can be learned by looking deeply into nature to reach a deeper understanding of all life and by following our ideas to their logical conclusions in our minds before acting upon them in the world.

When we apply this quote to our lives, we can see that we cannot create abundance by staying in a consciousness of poverty, nor can we gain a sense of power in our lives while identifying ourselves as a victim. Situations begun from anger or fear can have little chance of reaching a state of peace and trust unless someone involved can conceive of that possibility and act upon it. We need to find ways to step outside of our limited understanding in order to seek a bigger picture. One way to do this is to shift our perspective to see the situation from another’s point of view and ideally the perspective of all others involved. Even if we can’t truly know another’s motivations, by imagining what they might be, we open ourselves up to numerous possibilities and an expanded vision. This alone can shift our feelings of anger to compassion and the desire for a positive solution for all involved.

Once we have opened our mind to greater possibilities, we can connect to our higher self for inspired solutions. From the peace at our center, we gain distance from our emotions to connect to intuitive wisdom that offers us understanding of the underlying causes and the inspiration needed to guide our steps in a new direction. Albert Einstein showed us the impact that can be made when we raise our consciousness and allow ourselves to imagine the possibilities. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program teaches me to remain on guard against impatience, lapses into self-pity, and resentments of the words and deeds of others. Though I must never forget what it used to be like, neither should I permit myself to take tormenting excursions into the past — merely for the sake of self-indulgent morbidity. Now that I’m alert to the danger signals, I know I’m improving day by day. If a crisis arises, or any problem baffles me, do I hold it up to the light of the Serenity Prayer?

Today I Pray

I pray for perspective as I review the past. May I curb my impulses to upstage and outdo the members of my group by regaling them with the horrors of my addiction. May I no longer use the past to document my self-pity or submerge myself in guilt. May memories of those miserable earlier days serve me only as sentinels, guarding against hazardous situations or unhealthy sets of mind.

Today I Will Remember

I cannot change the past.

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One More Day

The Great and glorious masterpiece of man is to know how to live to purpose.
– Montaigne

When we undergo any crisis, it’s quite common for self-esteem to take a plunge. If life seems to hand us one crisis after another, our feelings of self-worth may vary from day to day. Once we get used to the newest change (perhaps this time it is diminished health) we begin to realize that only we are capable of nurturing ourselves.

We can solve some of our problems by setting new, more realistic goals, goals that we can reach successfully. Then our damaged self-esteem can start to become whole once again.

I am capable of taking better care of myself by setting challenging goals and by doing things I love to do.

[bluidkiti]

April 18

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Gifts are for giving. --Ian and Sylvia Tyson
Many years ago, a young woman named Dorothy was very talented at china painting. She painted tiny scenes on china dishes, the way people today paint on wood and Easter eggs.
Then Dorothy fell in love, got married, and decided she had no time to paint. But as her children grew, they loved to stand at the china cabinet and stare at all her tiny pictures--each one seemed to hold its own special world.
Years passed, and Dorothy's grandchildren also loved to stand and stare at the paintings. Everybody loved her work. They wondered why she didn't take up painting again, but she wouldn't say. Her love of painting seemed to be locked away.
When we give up some talent of our own because we don't have time for it, we lock away part of ourselves. When we imprison our talents, we limit our possibilities. But when we make self-expression a natural part of our day, others can gather around and enjoy the results. There is always room for our talents because they create worlds of their own.
Am I locking something away because I don't have the time?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Free man is by necessity insecure; thinking man by necessity uncertain. --Erich Fromm
We hear comments like, "Hang in there!" "Don't quit now," "Don't give up the ship!" When our outlook is gloomy and pessimistic, we should remember we are not in charge and we are not all knowing. We cannot predict what will be around the next corner. If a difficult problem looms before us, we cannot be sure what help might also be there for us to meet the problem.
Our compulsion for control tempts us to quit and give ourselves over to defeat. Then the outcome would be settled and predictable. We no longer would have to live with the insecurity of not knowing the future. When we are tempted to indulge in our addictive ways, or to return to a relationship that isn't good for us, or to face a painful problem, it helps to recall that change is a basic fact of life. However stressful this moment is, it will change. Not at our command, but it will change. We aren't in control of outcomes, but we can choose now to "hang in there" and to give our energy only toward positive solutions.
May I have the serenity to accept the process and the courage to be true to my part. Outcomes I will leave for the future.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To oppose something is to maintain it. --Ursula K. LeGuin
Most of our struggles are with other persons or perhaps situations we want to change. We discover that our continual opposition adds fuel to the fires (at least our own internal ones). But can we turn our backs when we feel justified in our opposition? There's perhaps no more difficult action to take than to walk away from those situations we feel so strongly about, but the wisdom of this program says, "Let go and let God." And when we do let go, as if by magic, relief comes. The fires die out. That which we opposed is less troubling, maybe even gone. We no longer feel the need to struggle today. The need may rise again, but again we can turn to our higher power. Trusting that relief awaits us, ensures its arrival.
As women we discover many opportunities for opposition, too many persons and situations that make difficult our changing roles--too many persons who don't easily accept our changing characters. The strength to let go and let God we must share with one another.
I maintain my struggles with righteous behavior. They lose their sting when they lose my opposition. I will step aside and let God.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Freedom
Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed.
Some of us don't recognize that caretaking and not setting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized.
Some of us don't understand that thinking of ourselves, as victims will leave us feeling oppressed.
Some of us don't know that we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves.
We can say what we mean, and mean what we say.
We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, the gates to freedom will swing wide.
Walk through.
Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.


Today I need to do nothing more than pray and meditate. I trust that all the energies of the universe are working in my behalf. I can sleep comfortably in the knowledge that God is working when I am not. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

There’s Magic in the Unknown

Sometimes we’re out of ideas. We think and think but nothing comes. We don’t know what’s next. It feels like we’re at a dead end. But we’re not. That void, that dreaded blank spot is really a glorious magical place.

Sometimes we have to run out of our ideas before we can open to any new ones. The reason we can’t see any further is because our ideas are limited by the past, by past experiences, by what life has been like before. Our future doesn’t have to be limited by our past. Life knows that. Now we can learn it,too. We’re not at a dead end. We’ve reached a new beginning.

Now is a time of magic. Let the universe take your hand and show you things you have never seen before. Now, at last, you’re open and vulnerable enough to begin. Celebrate the magic, the mystery of the unknown. Celebrate the miracles that will certainly come.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what you really want

What do you want? No, I’m not asking what thing you want, but rather what is it about that thing that you are seeking? Get to the root of your search. Do you want a new car? Do you want reliable transportation, or do you want the prestige that comes from driving a shiny new vehicle? Do you really want to do that kind of work, or do you just want the money and prestige you hope it will bring? Do you want a romantic relationship? Do you want a partnership based on equal ground, or do you want someone to take care of you? What is it that you’re really looking for?

Get as specific as you can. When we examine our goals and dreams, we may find that they’re motivated by a deeper desire. I want to reach this point in my career, we say. Look deeper. What’s at the root of that goal? If what you’re desiring is creative freedom, maybe you can gain it in other ways than by getting a promotion. If you want your spouse to quit drinking, perhaps what you’re really seeking is a calmer home environment and relief from the pain. If you can’t make him or her stop drinking, maybe there’s another way you can achieve that dream. Or maybe you’ll decide that you can contribute to that now, while waiting for your loved one to change.

Be honest in your search for the root of your goals. Some of the roots of your goals might not be so healthy after all; maybe the goal will need to change. But you could save yourself from heartache by discovering it now. Maybe the root is healthy, but you have placed too much value on following only one path to reach it.

Be aware of all the opportunities around you. Don’t sell life short. There may be more than one way to get what you really want.

God, help me become aware of what I’m really seeking in life.

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In God’s Care

How can anybody read the Gospels and fail to see how Jesus, in his contacts with all sorts and conditions of people, even the apparent good-for-nothings and worse, always seemed to find in them possibilities for sublime development?
~~Carroll E. Simcox

Many of us feel we don’t deserve God’s love. We judge ourselves harshly and attribute the same judgment to God as the strict parent, the demanding teacher, or the punishing judge. We cannot belive that anyone could accept us as we are, and so we don’t turn toward God.

Why do we feel this way? Perhaps because it’s hard to feel that God could love us when we so rerely received love without strings attached from others. Many of us remain skeptical even when newfound spiritual friends shower us with love. Though we may not realize it at the time, these friends are providing a human framework into which the unconditional love of God can fit. If these friends can accept us as we are, we think, maybe God will too. And of course God does.

When my hand reaches out to another, God’s hand reaches back.

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Entering Awareness
Finding Our Own Paths

by Madisyn Taylor

There is no one right path to awareness and each of us has our own path that is perfect for us.


Entering into our own spirituality is a private journey. Each of us will be drawn to a different gateway to begin on our personal path to awakening to a greater experience of ourselves. Even though we may be taught certain philosophies or beliefs as children, we still need to find our own way of understanding and applying them in our lives. For those who are raised without a spiritual framework, they may not even know their process as a form of spirituality. But at some stage in their lives, whether in youth or adulthood, they are likely to recognize the resonance of their beliefs, the ring of truth in their philosophy, and their dedication to their chosen purpose.

Our inner guidance will lead us, so that we will be drawn to the right doorway for us--a doorway that only we can recognize by the way it makes us feel inside. It could be a picture of an angel or the gift of a crystal. We may meet someone special who shares their experiences with us in a way that we find intriguing. While visiting the home of an admired friend, we may notice a book or statue of a diety, and ask why they chose those tools. Or a word or phrase may catch our attention in a song, or a lecture. For some they may find their way by walking through the experience of illness before they begin the search for what will help them to truly heal, while others may seek physical improvement and stumble across yoga or meditation--only to find that it leads them to an unexpected place beyond the body.

As we awaken to ourselves and to life, we will become more attuned to what is right for us. The universe speaks to all of us through infinite channels, but we each have our own frequency. Others may share what worked for them, but only we can decide what truly makes us feel inspired, awakened, connected, fully conscious, aware and alive. Whatever our path, it is perfect and is meant especially for us. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We in The Program know full well the futility of trying to overcome our addictions by will-power alone. At the same time, we do know that it takes great willingness to adopt The Program’s Twelve Steps as a way of life that can restore us to sanity. No matter how severe our addictions, we discover with relief that choices can still be made. For example, we can choose to admit that we’re personally powerless over chemical dependency; that dependence upon a Higher Power is a necessity, even if this be simply dependence upon our group in The Program. Have I chosen to try for a life of honesty and humility, of selfless service to my fellows and to God as I understand Him?

Today I Pray

God grant me the wisdom to know the difference between “will-power” (which has failed me before) and “willingness” to seek help for my dependency, through Him and through others who are also recovering. May I know, that there are choices open to me as there are to my fellow-sufferers in the foggiest stages of addiction. May I choose the kind of life God wants for me.

Today I Will Remember

Willingness, more than will-power, is the key to recovery.

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One More Day

He who conceals his disease cannot expect to be cured.
– Ethiopian Proverb

We gain very little if we use our problems to hid from other people and the realities of life. Yet, at times, we may drift into this negative attitude even though a reclusive life is self-serving, not the least bit enjoyable, and unfair to the people who care about us.

One way to survive is to develop the confidence we need to face others. Our problems should not be the first impression people have of us, but that is all we present if we are hiding our real selves from them. We have so much to offer — and so much to gain — when we set ourselves out on center stage and actively get on with living.

I am capable of buoying myself up to face each new challenge by moving out of my hiding places.

[bluidkiti]

April 19

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Inch by inch, row by row Someone bless these seeds I sow. . . 'Til the rain comes tumblin' down. --David Mallett
We plant a garden with faith, never knowing exactly what the harvest will bring. We attend to those aspects of gardening which we have some control over, planting good seeds in rich soil, in straight rows, the right distance apart. We weed and fertilize, and we tie up our tomato plants.
We may pray for rain, but we never know if we'll get too much or too little. We can't control the wind or rabbits or bugs or the strongest strains of weeds. Yet most of us don't let these things keep us from planting.
With this same sort of faith we can tend to ourselves. Though we don't know what each day will bring, we can plant the seeds in ourselves to meet most anything. We can rise each morning determined to give what we have. We can't plant the seeds for others, and we can't keep the storms from coming. The beauty is, we don't have to.
What seeds of joy can I plant today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Some of us, observing that ideals are rarely achieved, proceed to the error of considering them worthless. Such an error is greatly harmful. True North cannot be reached either, since it is an abstraction, but it is of enormous importance, as all the world's travelers can attest. --Steve Allen
How many of us, seeing others who failed to live fully by their ideals, cried, "Hypocrite!" Perhaps we even pointed to others' shortcomings to excuse our own. Now, in this program, we may be tempted to swing like a pendulum to the other extreme. We may hold to our values and principles so tightly that we are perfectionistic.
The idea that True North cannot ever be reached is very useful. If we don't achieve True North, even though we establish it as our standard, we will generally be heading in the right direction. Although we never perfectly achieve our ideals, they remain our standards today for orienting our lives.
I do accept standards for my life. I will not beat on myself for my imperfections.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
In the process of defining myself, I have a tendency to set up rules and boundaries and then forget that rules are made to be broken, as are boundaries to be expanded and crossed. --Kathleen Casey Theisen
Recovery has given us the freedom to address life honestly, with forethought and a certainty about the rightness of our actions. We need be mindful that what is right today may not be right tomorrow or thereafter. As we move through our experiences, we are changed, and then we look with a new perspective on old conditions. Our new perspective hones our value systems, and yesterday's rules and boundaries no longer fit today's situations.
Our growth as women is an unending process. What we confront today with assurance, we prepared for yesterday. And tomorrow will be eased by our definition of today. The program has gifted us with clarity - clarity about ourselves, clarity regarding others, and clarity on how to continue our growth.
My value system awaits finer definition, and every experience, today, presents me with an opportunity for that definition.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Accepting Change
The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places - time to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath.
But change is inevitable, and desirable.
Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, were not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain well be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible were being prepared for a new normal?
Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where were going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading.
We can trust that the change-taking place is good. The wind will take us where we need to go.
Today, help me, God, to let go of my resistance to change. Help me be open to the process. Help me believe that the place Ill be dropped off will be better than the place where I was picked up. Help me surrender, trust, and accept, even if I don't understand.


Today I will let my Higher Power handle my worry so I can be free, I choose to be alive in this moment and not blocked by the conversations that go on over and over in my head. I will stop trying to figure everything out and will trust that I will get the right answers at the right time. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Release Old Emotions

Our emotions and experiences sometimes lead us out of the present moment. Something happens– someone says something, we hear something– and a feeling crops up. Often, underneath it is an old feeling, a feeling from the past, an old chunk of energy that’s hidden in our soul, stored in our body.

We aren’t off track when that happens. We’re right where we need to be: off center and out of the present moment. We can use moments like these to heal ourselves.

Let yourself feel the feeling. Let yourself release the energy. Talk it out. Jog it out. Do what your heart leads you to do to release that bubble of emotion from your soul. Take as much time as you need– an hour, a day, a month.

When it’s gone, you’ll find a surprise. You’ve advanced on your path. You’ve learned something new. A new cycle has begun. An issue arose that provided an opportunity for healing and growth, and that healing and growth turned into a pleasant and welcome surprise.

Yes, sometimes experiences lead us out of the present moment. But if we stay present for ourselves, we’ll always come back. Changed. Lighter. Healed. And more ready to love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what you don’t know

One day, I was at a restaurant with friends. Now, my friends knew– particularly one of my friends– that I don’t eat pork. It’s not a religious thing. I just get sick from pork, even the tiniest bit will give me a headache, and sometimes nausea. So no matter how good that bacon looks, or how much my mouth waters about pork chops frying in the pan, I stay away from pig.

So we’re at the restaurant. I’ve looked at the menu. And the waiter comes over and rattles off the specials of the evening to us. The torteliini sounded pretty tasty. I knew he had used another to describe the tortelini– prosciutto– but I skimmed over the word. The whole dish sounded interesting to me.

We sit and have small talk. Then, the meal comes. The waiter puts my dish down in front of me. I pick up my fork and begin eating.

“Do you know what prosciutto is?” my friend asked.

“Yes,” I said lying.

“Point to the prosciutto,” he said.

I picked out a vegetable that kind of looked like celery and stabbed at it with my fork. “There,” I said, “that’s it.”

“You’re kidding around now, aren’t you?” he said. “Point to the prosciutto!”

I felt my face redden. “I don’t like being tested this way,” I said. “I know what prosciutto is.”

“This,” he said, stabbing a piece of something on the plate, “is prosciutto. It’s ham. Italian ham. I just thought you’d like to know, being as you don’t eat pork.”

“Oh,” I said, pushing my plate back. “I don’t think I’m that hungry after all.”

I know this is an old lesson I’ve talked about before. I had to learn it again. Sometimes, we feel inadequate, but what we don’t know can hurt us. And besides, if we say we don’t know when that’s the honest answer, we just might learn something new.

Today, if the true and correct answer is “I don’t know,” that’s the reply I’ll use.

God, help me let go of my belief that I have to know something I don’t.

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In God’s Care

To think you are separate from God is to remain separate from your own being.
~~D. M. Street

God has taken up residence within us as our guide and in the world as our companion. Everywhere we cast our gaze, we will see other homes of God. We are never really separated from God even though we often feel disconnected.

As children, many of us dreamed of God as separate and very far away in heaven. To accept the knowledge that God is everywhere and is within us is perhaps strange at first. But as our acceptance grows through working our program, we are comforted by the knowledge that we travel no path alone.

We can harbor no thoughts or desires or prayers in secret. Our constant companion knows us fully, hears our every need, cares for us deeply, and will ensure our safety every step of the way. We only need to remember to extend our hand to God for surefootedness.

Let me remember God is my guide and constant companion.

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Embracing the Disinherited
The Elderly Population

by Madisyn Taylor

An important part of our culture, our elderly, are almost always undervalued and underutilized - for they have much to offer.


In tribal cultures, the elderly play an important role. They are the keepers of the tribe’s memories and the holders of wisdom. As such, the elderly are honored and respected members of tribes. In many modern cultures, however, this is often not the case. Many elderly people say that they feel ignored, left out, and disrespected. This is a sad commentary on modernization, but it doesn’t have to be this way. We can change this situation by taking the time to examine our attitudes about the elderly and taking action.

Modern societies tend to be obsessed with the ideas of newness, youth, and progress. Scientific studies tell us how to do everything – from the way we should raise our kids to what we need to eat for breakfast. As a result, the wisdom that is passed down from older generations is often disregarded. Of course, grandparents and retired persons have more than information to offer the world. Their maturity and experience allows for a larger perspective of life, and we can learn a lot from talking to elderly people. It’s a shame that society doesn’t do more to allow our older population to continue to feel productive for the rest of their lives, but you can help to make change. Perhaps you could help facilitate a mentorship program that would allow children to be tutored by the elderly in retirement homes. The elderly make wonderful storytellers, and creating programs where they could share their real life experiences with others is another way to educate and inspire other genera! tions.

Take stock of your relationships with the elderly population. Maybe you don’t really listen to them because you hold the belief that their time has passed and they are too old to understand what you are going through. You may even realize that you don’t have any relationships with older people. Try to understand why and how our cultural perception of the elderly influences the way you perceive them. Look around you and reach out to someone who is elderly – even if you are just saying hello and making small talk. Resolve to be more aware of the elderly. They are our mentors, wise folk, and the pioneers that came before us and paved the way for our future.

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

As we continue to make thees vital choices and so move toward these high aspirations, our sanity returns and the compulsion of our former addictions vanishes. We learn, in the words of Plutarch, that, “A pleasant and happy life does not come from external things. Man draws from within himself, as from a sprig, pleasure and joy.” Am I learning to “travel first class” inside?

Today I Pray

The grace of God has showed me how to be happy again. May the wisdom of God teach me that the source of that happiness is within me, i my new values,k my new sense of self-worth, my new and open sense of self-worth, my new and open communication with my Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

Happiness comes from within.

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One More Day

The only courage that matters is the kind that gets you from one moment to the next.
– Mignon McLaughlin

Morning sounds and sights filter in through the bedroom window as we lie awake wondering, once again, if we can get started for the day. Oh, we think to ourselves, can I make these tired and weary bones and those sore and aching muscles do what I command them to do one more time?

We need strength to begin, to face each day, to start working our joints so we can face another day. A silent prayer may rush from our lips as we gather all our resources. We are extraordinarily strong poeple. Having a health problem makes us aware of a source of strength previously left untapped. We open ourselves to that strength — within ourselves, our doctors, our Higher Power. We rise and get on with our lives.

I have two gifts right now — this day and the strength to meet the challenges and demands.

[bluidkiti]

April 20

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Hurried and worried until we're buried And there's no curtain call, Life's a very funny proposition, after all. --George M. Cohan
Often, when we involve ourselves in a whirlwind of activities, plans, and expectations, we push ourselves so hard that we don't derive any satisfaction from success. We need to face our limitations. We can't do everything we want. Even when we can do a great deal, if we overextend ourselves, take on too much, we will not enjoy ourselves, and there is no reason not to enjoy our work.
Our activities are part of what we are. If we choose to live in a frantic hurry, worrying about the next moment instead of this one, we'll miss life entirely. Part of self-knowledge is learning to pace ourselves to our own speed, learning to set goals we can attain for each day. When we do this, we can say, "Now that I've completed this, I don't have to do one more thing to feel worthwhile."
Am I trying to do too much too fast?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I wasn't exactly brought up in one of those Norman Rockwell paintings you used to see on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. --Reggie Jackson
We have many myths about other people's lives. When we compare ourselves to these stories, we come up short. We have the TV families of Father Knows Best or The Waltons in our minds. We may have stories our father told about his moment of glory and how he met his challenges. Any of these images selects part of the truth and highlights it, creating a myth that might be worthwhile if we don't take it too literally.
Living real life never feels as serene as our fantasies. A myth lifts us up, carries us away to other possibilities, but we should always take it with a grain of salt. A father's recollections or a Norman Rockwell painting romanticizes a piece of reality by omitting the drudgery and confusion of life. Myths are meant as inspirations, not as measurements of our lives.
The difficulties and confusion I feel may just be part of real life. Serenity comes when I accept the mixture that real life is.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
One has to grow up with good talk in order to form the habit of it. --Helen Hayes
Our habits, whatever they may be, were greatly influenced, if not wholly formed, during childhood. We learned our behavior through imitation, imitation of our parents, our siblings, our peer group. But we need not be stuck in habits that are unhealthy. The choice to create new patterns of behavior is ours to make--every moment, every hour, every day. However, parting with the old pattern in order to make way for the new takes prayer, commitment, determination.
All of us who share these Steps have broken away from old patterns. We have chosen to leave liquor and pills alone. We may have chosen to leave unhealthy relationships. And we are daily choosing to move beyond our shortcomings. But not every day is a successful one. Our shortcomings have become ingrained. Years of pouting, or lying, or feeling fearful, or overeating, or procrastinating beckon to us; the habit invites itself.
We can find strength from the program and one another to let go of the behavior that stands in the way of today's happiness. And we can find in one another a better, healthier behavior to imitate.
The program is helping me to know there is a better way, every day, to move ahead. I am growing up again amidst the good habits of others, and myself.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Deadlines
I don't know whether I want in or out of this relationship. I've been struggling with it for months now. Its not appropriate to let it hang indefinitely. I will give myself two months to make a decision. --Anonymous
I've had this unsolved problem hanging over my head for six months now. Im confused. Im not certain what to do. Im going to give myself one month to come up with a solution. --Anonymous
Sometimes, it helps to set a deadline.
This can be true when we face unsolved problems, are struggling with a tough decision, have been sitting on the fence for a while, or have been floundering in confusion about a particular issue for a time.
That does not mean a deadline is written in stone. It means that we are establishing a time frame to help ourselves not feel so helpless and to help bring a solution into focus. Setting deadlines can free our energy to set the problem or issue aside, to let go, and allow the Universe, our Higher Power, and ourselves to begin to move toward a solution.
We don't always need to tell people we've got a deadline. Sometimes, its better to be silent, or else they may feel we are trying to control them and may rebel against our deadline. Sometimes, it is appropriate to share our deadlines with others.
Deadlines are primarily a tool to help ourselves. They need to be reasonable and appropriate to each individual situation. Used properly, deadlines can be a beneficial tool to help us get through difficult problems and situations without feeling trapped and helpless. They can help us let go of worrying and obsessing, so we can focus our energies in more constructive directions. Setting a deadline can help move us out of that uncomfortable spot of feeling victimized by a person or a problem we cant solve.
Deadlines can help us detach and move forward.
Today, I will consider whether a deadline might be helpful in some areas in my life. I claim Divine Wisdom and Guidance in setting appropriate deadlines for any problems or relationship issues that may be lingering.


I can handle anything that comes up today... even if it is only for a moment at a time. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Loving Yourself Will Make It Better

Are you feeling powerless? Have circumstances taken a turn you don’t like? Do you feel there’s nothing you can do to make today better? One power that’s always available to you is the power to love yourself.

Sometimes we feel powerless. We have circumstances in our lives we simply cannot change, no matter what we do to create something different, to move the situation along. We can’t get another person to behave differently. We can’t seem to change something at work. We can’t do much about our money situation, at least not at the moment. Nothing in life seems to be going our way. It’s not that we’re doing anything wrong. We aren’t off our path or neglecting a particular lesson. The energy of that particular time in our lives is frustrating. There is no action we can take to change our circumstances. All we can do is surrender to the circumstances, accept what’s happening, and stay in the moment.

During those times, there is one action we can take that will help. We can love ourselves. When we can’t do anything about the world around us, when we can’t even seem to do much about ourselves, we can always love ourselves. When all our other powers seem stripped away, we can practice the power of self-love. It’s one power no one can take away.

Self-love will always make things better. And perhaps when a difficult time is past, you’ll look back and say, That’s what I was really learning all along– the ever present, healing power of learning to love myself.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Flip a coin

Flip a coin. …This is a secret technique of many prominent executives. Because sometimes it doesn’t matter what decision you make, as long as you make one. Then you just stick to it, having confidence in your having brought about the outcome.
–Jay Carter

Sometimes, we are truly ambivalent. We don’t know what we want. The scales are balanced, fifty-fifty.

. Flip a coin.

If you don’t like the decision the coin just made for you, at least you’ll know you know what you want.

God, help me discover who I am and what I really want.

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In God’s Care

It is not up to you to change your brother, but merely to accept him as he is.
~~A Course in Miracles

We all feel qualified to correct another. We may not do this aloud, but we oftentimes do a great job of it under our breath or in our mind. We are fortunate if we learn that correcting others is not our job. It is seldom helpful to them or to us. Correction is best left to God, who knows all the circumstamces.

If we truly need to avoid a certain person, God will direct us. If not, then it’s spiritually good for us to accept that person’s defects – perceived or real – in all their glory. If we insist on seeing error or guilt, we’ll be in the wrong frame of mind to accept what a blessing he or she is to us.

Every offensive thing someone does is a call for help. If we answer it with help instead of condemnation or correction, both of us are blessed.

I would rather be blessed than be right.

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Appreciating What Is
Enjoying Your Age

In each stage of life, there are wonderful experiences one can savor and valuable insights one can absorb. Every new decade and, in fact, every new year brings with it wisdom, transformation, and growth, as well as ends and beginnings. Many people, however, believe that there is one age that eclipses the others. They expend energy trying to reach it and, once it has passed, trying to retain it. But wishing to be younger or older is a denial of the joys that have been and the joys yet to be, as well as the beauty of your life in the present. Holding on to one age can make it difficult to appreciate each new milestone you reach. Taking pleasure in the delights of your age, whether you are in your 20s, 40s, 60s, or 80s, can help you see the magnificence and usefulness of the complex seasons of your life.

Each new year gifted to us by the universe is replete with exciting and unfamiliar experiences. In our 20s, we can embrace the energy of youth and the learning process, knowing it’s okay to not have all the answers. As we move through our third decade, we grow more self-assured as the confusion of our young adulthood melts away. We can honor these years by putting aside our fears of aging and concentrating instead on solidifying our values and enjoying our growing emotional maturity. In our 40s, we become conscious of the wisdom we have attained through life experience and are blessed with the ability to put it to good use. We are not afraid to explore unfamiliar territory or to change. In our 50s, we tend to have successfully navigated our midlife reevaluations and have prioritized our lives. In the decades beyond, we discover a greater sense of freedom than we have ever known and can truly enjoy the memory of all we’ve seen and done.

Try to enjoy the age you are at now, for each age presents its own unique wisdom to savor. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“If a person continues to see only giants.” wrote Anais Nim, “it means he is still looking at the world through the eyes of a child.” During this 24-hour period. I won’t allow myself to be burdened by thoughts of giants and monsters — of things that are past. I won’t concern myself about tomorrow until it becomes my today. The better I use today, the more likely it is that tomorrow will be bright. Have I extended the hand of caring to another person today?

Today I Pray

God may I please grow up. May I no longer see monsters and giants on my walls, those projections of a child’s imagination. May I bury my hobgoblins and realize that those epic dream-monsters are distortions of my present fears. May they vanish with my fearfulness, in the daylight of my new serenity.

Today I Will Remember

I will put away childish fears.

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One More Day

My mind to me a kingdom is,
Such present joys therein I find
That it excels all other bliss
That earth affords or groups by kind.
– Sir Edward Dyer

Within the private confines of our thoughts, we can build castles or dream of solving all the problems of the world. At times, we may still daydream like children who envision themselves as heroes, builders, or saviors. We may still unconsciously look for drama and excitement.

Maturity give us something that our youthful selves would never have understood — compromise. We don’t have to see compromise as surrender. For us, it can mean action. When faced with the reality of dreams that can’t be achieved, we can compromise by building new dreams that not only are as important as our original one, but also offer success.

My dreams can still direct the course of my life.

[bluidkiti]

April 21

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In grief, healing helps us make peace with the meaning of death, which cannot be understood except as an unknown

part of life. --Alla Bozarth-Campbell
It is a sad occasion when we must say goodbye to a loved one or pet who has died. But grief is the only way we can

come to understand our losses, and sharing grief helps us experience it more fully.
Perhaps we wish to grieve for something else we've lost, like fading youth, a job, a possession, or a habit we had come

to enjoy. It's natural to feel grief over things like this, too.
We can share stories and good memories with other grievers, and give free reign to our tears. Sometimes it seems the

more we talk, the sadder we feel about our losses, but when we share these feelings with others, we turn our losses

into gain. We heal ourselves, pay tribute to those we grieve for, and share an intimate sense of loss with someone else.
Do I have grief to share?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The first skill needed for the Inner Game is called "letting it happen." This means gradually building a trust in the innate

ability of your body to learn and to perform. --W. Timothy Gallwey
A strange and intriguing mystery confronts us in the Twelve Steps. We are mending our ways; we are becoming

accountable; we are striving to do what is right, yet we are learning to let go. This seems like a contradiction of logic, but

it leads us to a spiritual awakening.
We are becoming like the accomplished tennis player who has practiced diligently to develop every detail of his skill. Yet

when he is playing the game, he cannot focus on control. He must get his ego out of the way and let himself go. It is in

letting go that he rises to his highest level of fulfillment. Today we will do what we must. We can make the choices we

are faced with. Then we allow ourselves to be carried along by our Higher Power to complete and fulfill the process.
I will look for opportunities to let it happen today.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of

looking forward. --Margaret Fairless Barber
When we contemplate last month, last year, the period of time just before we came into this Twelve Step program, we

can see many changes, good changes, have come our way. But we take the changes for granted sometimes. Or

maybe we fail to reflect on them at all. We get caught up in the turmoil of the present, believing it will last forever,

forgetting that yesterday's turmoil taught us much that we needed to know.
The past, for most of us, was rife with pain. But now we have hope. We have gained on life. We may be back in the

good graces of our family. Perhaps we have patched up some failed relationships. A career has beckoned to us. Good

experiences have come to pass. But we aren't free of difficulties. They need not get us down again. Hindsight assures

us that this, too, will pass. It also guarantees that we will move forward, just as we have again and again, if we have but

faith.
I will take this moment to look back at last year or the last binge. I can rest assured that I am moving forward. I will

continue to do so.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Waiting
Wait. If the time is not right, the way is not clear, the answer or decision not consistent, wait.
We may feel a sense of urgency. We may want to resolve the issue by doing something - anything now, but that action

is not in our best interest.
Living with confusion or unsolved problems is difficult. It is easier to resolve things. But making a decision too soon,

doing something before its time, means we may have to go back and redo it.
If the time is not right, wait. If the way is not clear, do not plunge forward. If the answer or decision feels muddy, wait.
In this new way of life, there is a Guiding Force. We do not ever have to move too soon or move out of harmony.

Waiting is an action - a positive, forceful action.
Often, waiting is a God guided action, one with as much power as a decision, and more power than an urgent, ill timed

decision.
We do not have to pressure ourselves by insisting that we do or know something before its time. When it is time, we

will know. We will move into that time naturally and harmoniously. We will have peace and consistency. We will feel

empowered in a way we do not feel today.
Deal with the panic, the urgency, and the fear; do not let them control or dictate decisions.
Waiting isn't easy. It isn't fun. But waiting is often necessary to get what we want. It is not dead time; it is not downtime.

The answer will come. The power will come. The time will come. And it will be right.
Today, I will wait, if waiting is the action I need in order to take care of myself. I will know that I am taking a positive,

forceful action by waiting until the time is right. God, help me let go of my fear, urgency, and panic. Help me learn the art

of waiting until the time is right. Help me learn timing. --Melody Beattie


It feels terrific letting go of perfection as my goal. As I let go of my judgments, all parts of me come together and I feel complete. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Trust What You Know

As you grow, as you evolve, as you continue on this journey, you’ll discover many special abilities, gifts, and powers. One is an increased sense of knowingness. We will begin to understand events and people on a level much deeper than we experienced before.

We will begin to know the feeling of a person, place, or thing. We will begin to feel its energy, not just its matter or physical form. We’ll talk to a person for a while and know if that person feels trapped, feels like a victim, or feels free. We’ll know if a place holds energy that’s good for us. Or we’ll know that the energy isn’t right for us, doesn’t currently complement our needs. We won’t judge. We’ll just know. And we’ll know what to do.

Powers appear when we open the heart. We find the powers of love, comfort, faith, joy. There are other powers,too, that come along the way. One of these is the quiet power of trusting what we know.

Open your heart. Let it show you what it knows. Learn to trust what you know. You’re wiser than you think.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Discern what’s important

Above all, I had learned to distinguish what was important in life and what was not. The important was often a handful of water, sometimes a protected bivouac site, a book, a conversation.
– Reinhold Messner, Free Spirit

A friend of mine, desiring to pursue a life of adventure by joining the skydiving community, quit a good job, sold all of his belongings, and moved on to an airport with a couple of duffle bags and a parachute. Today, he has realized his dream. He’s a professional sky diver, married, and living in a decent home close to his dream job– jumping out of airplanes. “I’ll never get rich doing this,” he explains. “But I get to wake up every day knowing that I get to do exactly what I want to do. And even more importantly, my years as a drop-zone bum taught me about whay was truly important, and what’s not.”

We get attached to our things. We fuss when someone spills soda on the couch, get angry over the slightest ding on our leased Honda, and make up for lost time with loved ones by bringing them more things.

Look closely at your life. Decide what’s really important to you. What would you genuinely miss, if you didn’t have it? What would you perhaps not even notice, if it was missing from your life? What might you be better off without?

Learn to distinguish between the essential and that which you don’t really need. You might find, like my friend, that you’d be happier with two duffel bags and a dream than you would be with a garage full of clutter that never gets used.

God, grant me the strength to pursue my dreams. Help me cut through the clutter and discover what’s truly important for me and my family.

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In God’s Care

Hindsight is an exact science.
~~Guy Bellamy

Sometimes we may think life would be much easier if we new just what to expect when we’re trying something new or making important plans. It’s true we wouldn’t have to deal with the uncertainty of life, but neither would we have the thrill of anticipation that comes with change.

How or life evolves over time, we entrust to God. God is here today, meeting our needs in ways we can’t predict. Our role is simply to trust and listen to our Higher Power and choose our actions accordingly. We no longer have to choose the thoughts and behaviors that foster anxiety.

When we quiet our inner dialogue, we’re open to what God wills for us and are available for the experiences that provide for our growth. We’ll find ourselves relying less on hindsight and more on our intuitive grasp of the moment. We’ll know the best way to proceed in every circumstance if we look to God for direction.

Today I will depend less on hindsight and trying to predict the future, and more on pausing to listen to my Higher Power.

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Acting Together for Good
Cooperation

Cooperation seems simple: working together toward a common goal for the benefit of all involved. But amazingly it can be quite challenging, even when we have so many successful examples all around us. Human society is based upon the concept of cooperation, but finding a balance to ensure the good of all members of society is difficult. In nature, symbiotic relationships form between unlikely allies: a bee and a flower, a bird and a rhinoceros, small fish and sharks. Yet nature also shows us instances of constant competition in which only the strongest survive. Given the choice, it seems most people would choose the more peaceful path of cooperation. Intellectually, we know that together we can create something greater than what one could do alone, but cooperation still seems to be one of the greatest challenges people face. We don’t always agree on how goals can be reached. Our priorities may be different, or our methods, but in the end, cooperation offers the best chance fo! r success.

So how can we learn to cooperate with each other? We can gain greater perspective by trying to understand one another’s point of view, perhaps even putting ourselves in their place. We can search for commonalities as well as differences, and look for the good in different approaches. There is always more than one way of doing things, and some approaches are better suited for certain situations than others. All this is easier when we let go of the necessity to be right and to call others wrong. More important, we must believe that there is a solution that benefits all involved, not just one side.

The results of cooperation can be as simple as effortlessly getting everyone in your household to their appointments to large-scale social shifts to changing minds and hearts or policies that affect the future. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Can I be wholeheartedly grateful for today? If so, I’m opening doors to more and more abundant good. What if I can’t be thankful for the “rain” that has fallen in my life — for the so-called bad times? What then? I can begin by giving thanks for all the sunshine I can remember, and for every blessing that ha come my way. Perhaps then I’ll be able to look back over the rainy periods of my life with new vision, seeing them as necessary; perhaps then, hidden blessings I’ve overlooked will come to my attention. Am I Grateful for all of life — both the sunshine and the rain?

Today I Pray

May I be grateful for all that has happened to me, good an bad. Bad helps to define good. Sorrow intensifies joy. Humility brings spirituality. Disease turns health into a a paradise. Loneliness makes love both human and Divine, the greatest gift of all. I thank God for the contrasts which have made me know Him better.

Today I Will Remember

I am grateful for the whole of life.

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One More Day

To know
That which lies before us in daily life,
Is the prime wisdom.
– John Milton

It isn’t easy becoming an adult. We have to pay the dues as we go along the path of life. As long as we have had joy and suffering, we may as well learn to use our well-earned adult perspective. After all, look how hard we worked to get here!

Enjoyment is still there, free for the taking. All the intangibles we enjoyed before are still there – love, honor, trust. We alone can decide, as we sift through the happenings of our days, whether to call our lives wreckage or success, whether to create delight or sorrow. A Change in circumstances or health doesn’t mean the end of joyful living. Such changes will wisely, with greater appreciation and understanding.

I will find and accept the gift of joyful living today.

[bluidkiti]

April 22

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I meant to do my work today But a brown bird sang in an apple tree, And a butterfly flitted across the field And all the leaves were calling me. --Richard LeGallienne
The harried hen scurried about her house, trying to put it in order. Some friends she hadn't seen for years were due to arrive later that day, and she wanted everything perfect for them. In a flurry, she made the bed, put away the dishes, and scrubbed the floor. Oh dear, she thought in dismay, I meant to wash the sheets today.
Frantically, she flew back to the bedroom and tore the sheets from the made bed.
Just then, a neighbor arrived and stood at hen's door, watching her anxiously rush about. "Dear hen," he said in a patient loving tone, for he was quite fond of her, "You will never enjoy your visit if you continue to race about. Come. Sit and rest and tell me of these friends. Have you any snapshots?" The hen did as her neighbor had suggested, and soon her friends arrived to find her relaxed, refreshed, and warm with the memories of them.
What is my real work for the day?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The first springs of great events, like those of great rivers, are often mean and little. --Jonathan Swift
Our lives are like streams which flow through time. Looking at the flow of our whole lives, we see the interconnections of many days that seemed minor. Each day contributes to the stream of goals and faith and relationships. As we look at the flow of a whole river, we see at its beginning a little trickle of water here, joining another trickle there, slowly gathering together a stream that develops force and direction.
We may look for intensity in our lives and ignore the quiet. Much of our lives may have been lived on a roller coaster of major crises. As terrible as it seemed, it was not dull. Today may seem rather boring. But in recovery we learn to appreciate the more subtle trickle that a good day can be. Simply continuing with the flow - of our program, of faithfulness to our values, of being emotionally present in our relationships - adds up to a rich life.
May I see the continuity of my life in the simple moments of this day.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Our own rough edges become smooth as we help a friend smooth her edges. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Focusing on a good point in every person we encounter today will benefit us in untold ways. It will smooth our relations with that person, inviting her to respond kindly also. It will increase our awareness of the goodness all around us. It will help us realize that if everyone around us has positive traits, then we must also have them. But perhaps the greatest benefit of focusing on good points is that it enhances us as women; a healthy, positive attitude must be cultivated. Many of us had little experience with feeling positive before the turning point, recovery.
Recovery is offering us a new lease on life every moment. We are learning new behaviors, and we are learning that with the help of a higher power and one another, all things that are right for us are possible. It is energizing, focusing on the good points of others, knowing that their good points don't detract from our own.
In the past, we may have secretly hated other women's strengths because we felt inferior. We are free from that hate now, if we choose to be. A strength we can each nurture is gratitude for being helped by, and privy to, the strengths of our friends and acquaintances.
Bad points get worse with attention. My good points will gain strength.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Coping With Stress
Inevitably, there are times of stress in our lives, no matter how long we've been in recovery.
Sometimes, the stress is outside or around us. We're feeling balanced, but our circumstances are stressful. Sometimes, the stress is within; we feel out of balance.
When the stress is external and internal, we experience our most difficult times.
During stressful times, we can rely more heavily on our support systems. Our friends and groups can help us feel more balanced and peaceful in spite of our stressful conditions.
Affirming that the events taking place are a temporarily uncomfortable part of a good, solid plan can help. We can assure ourselves that we will get through. We won't be destroyed. We won't crumple or go under.
It helps to go back to the basics to focus on detachment, dealing with feelings, and taking life one day at a time.
Our most important focus during times of stress is taking care of ourselves. We are better able to cope with the most irregular circumstances; we are better able to be there for others, if we're caring for ourselves. We can ask ourselves regularly: What do we need to do to take care of ourselves? What might help us feel better or more comfortable?
Self-care may not come as easily during times of stress. Self-neglect may feel more comfortable. But taking care of us always works.
Today, I will remember that there is no situation that can't be benefited by taking care of myself.


Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

On the Other Side of Fear Is Joy

Climb over the wall of fear.

Fear can be like a brick wall on our path. We may say we want to move forward– we want to feel better, do something new, live differently, go to the next place on our journey– but if we have unrecognized fears about that, we may feel like we’ve hit a wall. We don’t know we’re afraid; the fear is tucked and hidden away. All we can see is that, for some unknown reason, we can’t seem to move forward in our life. We’re in the dark.

Or we may be conscious of our fear, but be refusing to deal with it. We have talked ourselves out of honestly addressing the fear by telling ourselves to be strong and brave. While there is much to be gained from pressing forward at certain times in our lives, there simply are other times when we cannot do that because our fear holds us back. There are times in life when real power comes from being vulnerable enough to say, Yes, I am afraid.

Gently face our fears one at a time as they arise. Let each fear surface into consciousness. Tell yourself you know it’s there. Then release its energy; let it dissipate into the air. Don’t be afraid of what you’ll find; the feeling is only fear.

There’s a magic I’ve learned over the years. It happens when I feel my fear. My life changes. I become empowered to move on. Barricades I have not been able to penetrate crumble and disappear. And all I had to do was simply face and feel my fear.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Solve the right problems

Are you solving the problems you want to solve, or the problems you think that you are supposed to solve?
–Thom Rutledge

Peter spent his days solving problems. He had attended the right college and found the right profession and worked for the right people. As a successful accountant, he counted other people’s money and figured out what they owed the government. Peter was good at his job, but he wanted to take pictures. Still, accounting was an important job, and people needed him to help them with their taxes. Solving other people’s money problems took up most of Peter’s time, so much time that he gradually forgot about taking pictures.

One day, he picked up a magazine on photography and started reading. He bought a camera and took some pictures. Then he took a vacation and took some more pictures. He entered them in a local showing and received second prize.

Peter didn’t stop being an accountant. But now he spends as much time solving problems of aperture and shutter speed as he does 401k’s and 1099′s.

Are you solving the problems that you want to solve? Or are you solving the same problem over and over?

Find the answers to the questions you have.

Then find more questions to ask.

God, give me the courage to follow my heart. Teach me how to experience more joy in my life.

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In God’s Care

Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
~~George Bernard Shaw

One thing we all have going for us is the ability to change our mind. Thank God. If we were still stuck with our childhood beliefs, where would we be now? Many of us have gotten into deep trouble – physically and emotionally – by following beliefs that proved wrong. For instance, the treacherous belief that we are self-sufficient, that to depend on others is a sign of weakness. How many of us crashed and burned while holding high the banner of independence?

Disastrous circumstances have forced us to change our mind. Now we know that we cannot get along without others, nor without a Higher Power to guide us. We are still tempted daily to go it alone – old habits die hard – but we can change our mind as often as needed.

With God’s help, I can exercise the greatest force for change in my life – I can change my mind.

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Together on Earth
Seeing the Bigger Picture

by Madisyn Taylor

When we see a photo of our earth from space, it is hard to feel ourselves as being separate from all others.


Seeing an image of the planet Earth taken from space inspires awe in many of us, since we can clearly see the connectedness of all of us who live upon this planet. We have created imaginary boundaries, sectioning ourselves into countries and states, forgetting that in reality we are all living together, breathing the same air, drinking from the same water, eating food grown from the same earth. We share everything on this planet, whether we are conscious of it or not, with other people, and those people are our brothers and sisters. Keeping a photograph or painting of the planet Earth in a prominent place in our homes can be a positive way to remember our interconnectedness.

Meditating on the fact that any sense of separation we have from one another is truly an illusion, we will naturally begin to make more conscious choices in our daily lives. The simple act of preparing food, or determining how to dispose of our refuse, can be done with the consciousness that whatever we do will affect all our brothers and sisters, no matter how far away they live, as well as the planet herself. When we foster this kind of awareness in ourselves out of a feeling of awe, it becomes easier to be conscious than to fall back into old habits of thinking of ourselves as separate.

When we contemplate the earth in her wholeness, we attune ourselves to the truth of the bigger picture, which is the Earth, and all of us, every one of us, living on her body. We are connected to one another in the most intimate way, because we literally share our living space. As more people become aware of the reality of our interdependency, things will shift in a positive direction, and much of the discord that we see now will give way to a more cooperative, loving conscious. This is happening already, so as our consciousness grows, we can join with the many other minds working to live in the spirit of togetherness. Published with permission from Daily Om

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

As I Attend meetings of The Program, my eyes open wider and wider. Other people’s problems make mine look small, yet they are facing them with courage and confidence. Others are trapped in situations as bad as mine, but they bear their troubles with more fortitude. By going to meetings, I find many reasons to be grateful. My load has begun to lighten. Do I expect easy solutions to my problems? Or do I ask only to be guided to a better way?

Today I Pray

Make The Program my way of life. Its goals are my goals. Its members are my truest friends. May I pass along the skills for coping I have learned there. May my turnabout and the resulting transformation in my life inspire others, as others have inspired me.

Today I Will Remember

May I be grateful.

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One More Day

As mature people we must learn not to love ourselves excessively nor to mistrust the universe morbidly.
– Joshua Loth Liebman

Each time we know success, large or small, we may tend to applaud ourselves. We have all see small children clapping their hands together in glee at some small triumph. That is the spontaneity of human nature.

Even now that we are older, we may find it difficult not to praise ourselves in front of others each time we make some kind of gain. We learn we are applauded for those special times with which all people can identify — success on the job or when a new child or grandchild is born. Sometimes, however, our applause must be private — treasured by no one but ourselves — for we may be the only one to realize how much we deserve it.

When I achieve success, in any aspect of my life I will glow with inner pride.

[bluidkiti]

April 23

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear. --Mark Twain
It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid. Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we're not as good because we know how often we feel afraid. This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear. Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do.
We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can. To go ahead in the face of fear is courage.
What am I afraid of?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
In recovery, perhaps first we make peace with ourselves, and not until later do we become our own friends. We have been at war with ourselves and in turmoil with our families, even while feeling like victims. This program lays out Twelve Steps we can follow to become friends with ourselves. In recovery we may still feel self-hate when we constantly monitor our every action, when we react to our mistakes by berating ourselves, and when we dwell on past offenses. Would we put a friend through that?
A true friend will accept you as you are. He doesn't put you down or call you derogatory names. He'll give you honest feedback and won't put on a false front. He'll support you when you're in trouble. Being our own friend means doing these things for ourselves. Perhaps we can even embrace and be kind to the part of ourselves that is addicted and codependent.
Today, I will be a friend to my whole self - even the parts of me I have rejected.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.

When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. --Eleanor Roosevelt
We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending.
Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us.
To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other--we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.
We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.
What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today!


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Opening Ourselves to Love
Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.
At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?
We will learn. The starting point is surrendering - to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.
We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.
We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.


Today I feel my entire body energized by my powerful positive, thoughts. I feel alive and full of joy as I feed myself with loving and positive energy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Give Yourself a Break

Learn to appreciate yourself and others.

Knowing we desire growth and improvement is one thing. Constantly driving ourselves and others is another. Maybe the answer isn’t that we need to do better, try harder, push more. Maybe the answer is recognizing and appreciating how well we already do things. How hard we try. How much we have done. How well others are doing,too.

Pushing ourselves can become so habitual that we deny ourselves any feeling of satisfaction. No matter how well or how much we do, the urge to try harder, do better, do more keeps pushing us on. It doesn’t let us rest. We still feel it isn’t quite good enough.

If you’ve been pushing yourself that hard, you may need more than a coffee break. Take a real break. Give yourself permission to put that drive aside. Quiet that part of you that wants to do more, be more, accomplish more. Learn to value how well you do things, even if no one else sees or appreciates your efforts. Applaud your own efforts and the efforts of those you love. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from yourself, tell yourself how well you’ve done. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from those around you, tell them that they are doing well,too.

Tell yourself how well you do. You may discover you’re doing better than you thought.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what your intentions are

Have you ever done anything deliberately to hurt someone, to get even with that person, or to gain revenge? Have you ever done anything subconsciously with intentions that weren’t noble?

“I dated a woman for three months,” Kent said. “It took me that long to realize that I was simply getting even with my last girlfriend, who had broken up with me. I used this woman as a tool for revenge and a way to get even with my ex. I felt horrible when I realized what I had done. But when I looked more deeply, I saw that my relationships were a series of attempts at getting revenge and retribution. I never took time out to feel and clear my anger from the last relationship that hadn’t worked.

Intentions are a powerful force. They combine desire, emotion, and will. They’re stronger and more powerful than wishes or simple desires. They can be a profound force in our lives and in the lives of people we touch.

Take a moment before entering a situation. Examine what your true intentions are. Do you have a motive, an agenda, a strong expectation involved? Have you been as clear as possible with yourself, and with whomever else is involved, about what you really expect and want? Or are you operating with a hidden agenda, hoping that if you force your will long enough, you’ll get your way?

Ask God to show you the intentions of the people you’re involved with. Sometimes they don’t know, themselves. Sometimes they do, but they’re not telling you. In those circumstances, you’re being set up for a manipulation and possibly some pain.

Be clear on your intentions. And stay as clear as possible on what other people want from you.

God, bring to light my intentions and motives, and the intentions and motives of those with whom I interact.

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In God’s Care

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
~~Friedrich Engels

Overplanning, overthinking, and too much talking often hinder the actions that can bring real growth. We know this, and yet we still get trapped, usually by our fears that we’ll not proceed perfectly.

Life is the process of making progress. We learn by doing, not just by thinking. We can make our forward steps more easily when we ask God to share the journey, but we have to put one foot in front of the other. And that usually leads us to someone else in need.

How many times have we felt stuck or depressed or obsessively fearful, only to discover our head clearing and our heart calming when we got out of the house, out of ourselves, and focused on someone else?

Helpful actions energize us and give us hope. They connect us to our Higher Power and make all the difference in our daily spiritual progress.

I will not sit and obsess today. I’ll go out and find someone in need.

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Permanently Parents
The Changing Nest

by Madisyn Taylor

Being a parent never ends, it only transitions throughout our lives together assuming new and exciting roles.


Once individuals become parents, they are parents forevermore. Their identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates them mom or dad. Yet the role they undertake when they welcome children into their lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of kindergarten or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way.

As children earn greater levels of independence, their parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mom or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honoring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honor a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support.

An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honor their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

No matte what it is that seems to be our need or problem, we can find something to rejoice in, something for which to give thanks. It is not God who needs to be thanked, but we who need to be thankful. Thankfulness opens new doors to good in our life. Thankfulness creates a new heart and a new spirit in us. Do I keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them?

Today I Pray

May God fill me with a spirit of thankfulness. When I express my thanks, however fumbling, to God or to another human being, I am not ony being gracious to Him or that other person for helping me, but I am also giving myself the greatest reward of all — a thankful heart. May I not forget either the transitive “to thank,” directed at someone else, or the intransitive “giving thanks,” which fills my own great need.

Today I Will Remember

Thank and give thanks.

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One More Day

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
– Ecclesiastics 3:1

All time and places in our lives have meaning and value. Regardless of what we have done in the past, whether we are proud or ashamed of our past actions, the only time over which we have any control is now. If we have no sense of direction in life, if we have no daily power or purpose, we may wander aimlessly through this new time in our lives, unaware of where we are going.

The reality of our lives is this: our health has changed. We are the only ones who can choose how to deal with this reality. We can wistfully look back to another time and place, or we can live in the here and now by making the best of a less than ideal situation. The choice is ours, but only the second choice provides our lives with meaning and purpose.

I won’t squander today by living in the past.

[bluidkiti]

April 24

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue, An everlasting vision of the everchanging view, A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold, A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold. --Carole King
Our lives are patchwork quilts of mismatched fabrics, all stitched together by an invisible seamstress. The tattered, blood-red scraps of quarrels, the beige of pastry crust baked on Saturdays in a grandmother's kitchen that always smelled sweet, the brilliant colors of our happy moments--picnics and sunsets and laughter--all these are necessary pieces of the tapestry of our lives, even our cold, white doubts and emptiness.
All the colors of life sewn together with the green thread of growth. We are a mixture of feelings and experiences. Often, we want to cut away a square of painful memory. But without it, our quilt would lose its beauty, for contrast would disappear. If a piece is removed, the rest is weakened and incomplete.
How well can I accept any pain I feel today as a part of my own beauty?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day. --Albert Camus
We live our program in one-day portions - and our actions today have immediate consequences. For instance, if we listen to a brother or a sister in the program, we may be enriched and the other person strengthened for today's challenge. We don't have to confront every temptation of life on this day - only the portion we can handle. Our old insanity would have us predict the entire story of our future from today's limited viewpoint. But our spiritual orientation
guides us to restrain ourselves. We simply live in this moment.
The rewards of recovery are granted every day. We begin with the gift of a new day and new possibilities. We now have relationships that sustain us through difficulty and give us reason to celebrate. We have a new feeling of self-respect and hope.
I am grateful for the rewards of each day in my spiritual awakening.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
She knows omnipotence has heard her prayer and cries "it shall be done--sometime, somewhere." --Ophelia Guyon Browning
Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us. We want what we want when we want it. Fortunately, we don't get it until the time is right, but the waiting convinces us our prayers aren't heard. We must believe that the answer always comes in its own special time and place. The frustration is that our timetable is seldom like God's.
When we look back over the past few weeks, months, or even years, we can recall past prayers. Had they all been answered at the time of request, how different our lives would be. We are each on a path unique to us, offering special lessons to be learned. Just as a child must crawl before walking, so must we move slowly, taking the steps in our growth in sequence.
Our prayers will be answered, sometime, somewhere. Of that we can be sure. They will be answered for our greater good. And they will be answered at the right time, the right place, in the right way.
I am participating in a much bigger picture than the one in my individual prayers. And the big picture is being carefully orchestrated. I will trust the part I have been chosen to play. And I can be patient.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Lessons on the Job
Often, the spiritual and recovery lessons were learning at work reflect the lessons were learning in other areas of our life.
Often, the systems were attracted to in our working life are similar to the systems in which we find ourselves living and loving. Those are the systems that reflect our issues and can help us learn our lessons.
Are we slowly learning to trust ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning to take care of ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning boundaries and self-esteem, overcoming fear, and dealing with feelings?
If we search back over our work history, we will probably see that it is a mirror of our issues, our growth. It most likely is now too.
For today, we can believe that we are right where we need to be - at home and at work.
Today, I will accept my present circumstances on the job. I will reflect on how what I am learning in my life applies to what Im learning at work. If I don't know, I will surrender to the experience until that becomes clear. God, help me accept the work I have been given to do today. Help me be open to and learn what I need to be learning. Help me trust that it can and will be good.


Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Change Your Perspective

Sometimes a slight difference in where we stand can dramatically change how we see things.

One morning, shortly after sunrise, I climbed to the top of a mesa in Sedona. I’d been there the day before, staring at the shapes and forms of the other mesas, and gazing down upon the city. Now this morning I sat in a different place to meditate and to look around. The spot where I sat this day was only a few feet from where I’d sat before, but the view looked entirely different. I saw different shapes and forms in the mesas. I saw a different view of the city, the world below.

We often need to change our position so we can see things differently. We don’t have to make a dramatic change, we just need to move around a little. Perhaps an unresolved issue is blocking our vision, blocking us from seeing the beauty that’s there. Maybe a bit of anger or self-contempt is interfering with our vision. Maybe the changes we need to make are minor, much less than we thought. Maybe we simply need to look at whatever we are viewing without fear, to change our mood and see it with the eyes of love.

Take a break. Move around. Learn to change your perspective. Maybe you don’t need to change what you’re looking at. You just need to change where you stand.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Put your intentions out there

Be clear on what you want. If you’re starting a business, taking a new job, learning a new skill, or beginning a relationship, state clearly to yourself what you’re looking for. What level of performance are you hoping to reach? Stay realistic, but not pessimistic. What do you want? Be clear with the universe about what your intentions are. Be as specific as you can be.

If you’re on the dating scene, what are you looking for? Some fun? A spouse? Be clear and specific about what you want.

After you’ve focused and clarified your intentions, then let your intentions go. Sometimes in life we can’t get what we want. Other times, we can. And sometimes the journey to getting there is full of twists and turns, much more of an adventure than anything we could have planned.

Besides, the clearer we can be about what we want, the easier it will be to recognize and enjoy it when it comes our way.

God, help me be clear with you and myself about what I really want. Then, help me let go of my intentions and surrender to your plan.

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In God’s Care

God creates out of nothing. Therefore until a man is nothing, God can make nothing out of him.
~~Martin Luther

To bring our addictions under control, we had to surrrender them – and our willpower – to a higher authority. God relieves us of our compulsions as soon as we admit that we are powerless over them. But surrender doesn’t end there. If we wish to move beyond that point – to grow spiritually, to gain peace of mind – relinquishing our self-will must become habitual. We must give God a clean slate every hour, every day.

When we think we have everything under control, we are in trouble. A Course In Miracles tells us, “Whenever you think you know, peace will depart from you, because you have abandoned the Teacher of peace.” Moreover, it is when we admit we do not know how to run our life that peace returns. We invite God back by turning a deaf ear to our selfish ego.

I offer God a clean slate on which to write my life.

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Freeing Yourself
Knowing When to Let Someone Go

by Madisyn Taylor

Knowing when to let somebody go and leave a relationship is a true act of self-love.


Just as a good relationship can have a positive impact on your life, stressful, draining, or imbalanced relationships can have negative effects on your health and well-being. It’s common to maintain a relationship because we feel the other person needs us or we believe that they will eventually change. We may also be afraid of hurting the other person or feel insecure in our ability to find new relationships. But knowing when to end a relationship and acknowledging that the pain will pass can often prevent greater pain and feelings of loss in the long run.

If you’re in a relationship that isn’t satisfying or one that has become unhealthy for you, rather than spending energy attempting to fix the problem or complaining, ask yourself what you really want from the relationship. Consider whether the other person truly considers your feelings or if they are willing to change their behavior. Ask yourself if you’ve often thought about ending the relationship or if you feel your bonds have atrophied. While every relationship has ups and downs, when there are more downs than ups or the two of you are bringing out the worst in each other, it may be time to sever the connection. Be honest with yourself and your answers, even if the truth is painful.

Relationships thrive on honesty, communication, mutual caring, and time spent together. When one or more of these elements are missing, it may be that the relationship, no matter how passionate, simply isn’t worth it. It’s far better to end a relationship that doesn’t feel right than to hold on to it and languish in feelings of anger or resentment. Moving on without struggle, on the other hand, can be the door that leads you to a more nurturing relationship in the future. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We come to know in The Program that there is no deeper satisfaction and no greater joy than in a Twelfth Step well done. To watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from darkness to light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, and above all to watch them awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives — these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry the message of The Program. Am I learning through Twelfth Step experiences that gratitude should go forward, rather than backward?

Today I Pray

May my Twelfth Steps be a wholehearted and as convincing and as constructive as others’ Twelfth-Stepping has been to me. May I realize that the might of The Program and its effectiveness for all of us come through “passing it on.” When I guide someone else to sobriety, my own sobriety is underlined and reinforced. I humbly ask God’s guidance before each Twelfth Step.

Today I Will Remember

To pass it on.

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One More Day

To struggle when hope is banished.
To live when life’s salt is gone!
To dwell in a dream that’s vanished –
To endure, and go calmly on!
– Ben Jonson

At times we all dwell in the mansions created by our own dreams. When dream rooms are the only ones we visit, however, reality will jar us back to the present. We then have only two choices: to move forward or to live continually in the past.

Just when it seems there is no future, that there is no chance to ever live a normal life again, a thread of hope surfaces, and we struggle onward. Recognition that we can — and are — still enduring gives rise to hope and helps us go calmly on.

Dreams are sacred to me, but I must live in the present so I can survive day to day.

[bluidkiti]

April 25

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Unused capacities atrophy, cease to be. --Tillie Olsen
Those of us who have suffered a broken bone and had to put up with a cast for several weeks know how hard it is to use muscles that have been inactive for so long. They have gotten weak from lack of use, and we have to begin to develop our strength all over again.
The same thing happens if we don't use our other capacities. If we don't constantly use our minds to think and learn, we become dull people, almost incapable of new thoughts and insights. If we don't use our hearts to love, we become uncaring and insensitive--much like Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. If we don't use our creative talents--to draw or write or sew, or whatever it is we're into--we lose the ability to do those things.
On the other hand, like our muscles, our other capacities can be strengthened and developed by daily use. We exercise our hearts by being kind and loving, our minds by thinking, our imaginations by being creative. In this way, we become spiritually powerful, a force for good in the world.
How can I exercise my assets today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The natural world is a spiritual house.... Man walks there through forests of physical things that are also spiritual things that watch him with affectionate looks. --Charles Baudelaire
As we live this program, we learn to see the spiritual in physical things. Whatever we see or hear, whatever happens in our lives may carry a spiritual message. Some of us will say, "God is telling me something." Others, whose understanding of God takes another form, will say, "There is a spiritual message in this if I can read it."
But many men, having had relationships that were abusive and painful, find it hard to imagine the spirit of things watching them with affection, and not hostility. Many of us have been used, and we have used others. We don't expect affectionate relationships, but could it be that the spiritual world loves us and we don't know it? Perhaps if we think about this for a while, we also will become more loving.
The generosity of God is expressed in all kinds of physical things. I will remember that the spiritual is affectionate toward me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. --Helen Keller
There is wonder in the moment, if we but look for it, let it touch us, believe in it. And with the recognition and celebration of the wonder comes the joy we desire and await.
Being wholly in tune with the present moment is how we'll come to know the spiritual essence that connects all of life. We search for peace, happiness, and contentment outside of ourselves. We need instead to discover it within us, now and always, in whatever we are experiencing.
We can let our experiences wash over us. Longing for a different time, a distant place, a new situation breeds discontent. It prevents us from the thrill, the gifts offered in this present moment. But they are there.
We can practice feeling joyful in the present, be thrilled with the realization that right now, all is well. All is always well. Life is full of mystery and wonder and each moment of our awareness adds to the wonder.
I am moving forward; we all are. I am on target. I am participating in a glorious, wonderful drama. Let me jump for joy. I have been specially blessed.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Finding Our Own Truth
We must each discover our own truth.
It does not help us if those we love find their truth. They cannot give it to us. It does not help if someone we love knows a particular truth in our life. We must discover our truth for ourselves.
We must each discover and stand in our own light.
We often need to struggle, fail, and be confused and frustrated. That's how we break through our struggle; that's how we learn what is true and right for ourselves.
We can share information with others. Others can tell us what may predictably happen if we pursue a particular course. But it will not mean anything until we integrate the message and it becomes our truth, our discovery, our knowledge.
There is no easy way to break through and find our truth.
But we can and will, if we want to.
We may want to make it easier. We may nervously run to friends, asking them to give us their truth or make our discovery easier. They cannot. Light will shed itself in its own time.
Each of us has our own share of truth, waiting to reveal itself to us. Each of us has our own share of the light, waiting for us to stand in it, to claim it as ours.
Encouragement helps. Support helps. A firm belief that each person has truth available - appropriate to each situation - is what will help.
Each experience, each frustration, each situation, has its own truth waiting to be revealed. Don't give up until you find it - for yourself.
We shall be guided into truth, if we are seeking it. We are not alone.
Today, I will search for my own truth, and I will allow others to do the same. I will place value on my vision and the vision of others. We are each on the journey, making our own discoveries - the ones that are right for us today.


Today I am practicing looking at all beings with the eyes of compassion. Not only do I feel good when I come from a place of love and understanding, I also feel useful and connected. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Connect with Peace

Om ah hum varja guru padma siddi hum. Om mani padme hum.
–A Buddhist Chant

Hail, Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary. Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
– A Catholic Petition

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
–A Non denominational Prayer

People have many ways of seeking and finding peace. Mantras– chants and prayers that align the mind with peaceful thoughts, with the river of peace that runs through our universe– are one way of returning to our center. Do you have a favorite prayer, a religious chant, or a saying that helps you? That puts you back on track? That takes you mind to that place of peace within your soul?

Value the mantras that touch and heal your mind, the sounds and thoughts that align you with peace. Find and value the words and prayers of your religion, the thoughts that work for you, that connect you to your center. These will help you discover your connection with the universe, the flow of life, the certainty that all is well. You and your life are on track. Know you’ll be given all the guidance and grace you need.

Find rituals that help you believe that peace is yours, rituals that connect you to the Divine in the universe. Ask for peace. Ask in a way that works for you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Be as clear as possible

Marcia doesn’t like to hurt other people’s feelings. So when she doesn’t want to date or see someone anymore, she doesn’t tell them that. She lies. But she calls it “being nice.” She either sets up some dramatic scene that justifies her getting mad and breaking up, or she gives them an excuse that leaves them hanging.

Let go of the drama. Tie up loose ends. If you know where you’re at with someone, you can be diplomatic, but be as clear as you can be.

Be clear with yourself,too. Watch the behavior of other people. Are they making excuses to you why they can’t be with you? Are you making excuses about why they don’t call? Some of us wait a long time for someone who’s not even thinking about us.

Stop telling others what they want to hear, when that’s not the truth. Stop telling yourself what you want to hear, when what you’re telling yourself isn’t true, either. Don’t leave other people hanging. Don’t put yourself on hold.

Be as clear as you can be, with other people and with yourself.

It’s ths compassionate thing to do.

God, help me know that I don’t have to create dramas to get what I want. Help me live my life from a place of centered, diplomatic honesty, even when that means I need to tell people something they’d rather not hear.

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In God’s Care

When we spiritually awaken, our whole life changes from being hard and painful to becoming easier and happier, more pleasant and pain-free.
~~Jerry Hirshfield

Most of us awaken spiritually very slowly. Looking back on our more dangerous times and our miraculous survival helps us to believe that at least something like a guardian angel must have never been far away. And yet, much of the time many of us still struggle with the day-to-day turmoil of our recovery, trying to manage outcomes that are not ours to manage.

We complicate most events by our need to control what is clearly up to God to control. When we let go the outcome is generally to our satisfaction. Always, in time, we see that the outcome benefits us generously. We can’t do what belongs to God to do. Our job is simply to move aside.

The pain of forcing open a door or pushing through a decision can be relinquished forever if we simply trust God.

Life is often only as hard and painful as we in our self-centeredness make it.

I will not try to do God’s work today.

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Shifting with the Tide
Energetic Motion

by Madisyn Taylor

With each moment, we are given opportunities to create change using nothing more than our awareness.


Since our lives are constantly in motion energetically, change is a constant element of our existence. As dynamic as that energy is, it is not random or haphazard in nature—the shifts in energy that are constantly taking place are the result of our choices. The formulation of intention, a change in perspective, or the creation of a goal can transform our lives in blink of an eye. We think positive thoughts and the world becomes a brighter place. Or we decide who we want to be and become that person. With each passing moment, we are given innumerable opportunities to create change using nothing more than our awareness.

In the span of a single second, our lives can change immeasurably because energy moves at a pace more rapid than anything we can consciously fathom. Though we may not at first be sensitive to the vibrational shifts taking place, our choices are ultimately at the heart of these transformations. We can typically recognize the consequences of key decisions because we anticipated the resultant energetic shifts. But many, if not most, of the choices we make each day are a product of instantaneous reactions, and these still have a significant impact on the energy of our existence. It is for this reason that we should learn to wield what control we can over these shifts. If we bear in mind that all we think and all we do will shape the existence we know, we can deliberately direct the energetic motion of our lives.

Each day, you make an infinite array of decisions that cause energy shifts in the world around you. In many cases, these transitions are almost imperceptible, while in others the change that takes place is palpable not only to you but also to those in your sphere of influence. Your awareness of the immediate energetic consequences of your thoughts and actions can guide you as you endeavor to make the most of the autonomy that defines you as an individual. The myriad choices you make from moment to moment, however inconsequential they may seem, represent your personal power, which sanctions you to transform the energetic tide of your existence with nothing more than your will. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I have much more to be grateful for than I realize. Too often, I don’t remember to give thought to all the things in my life that I could enjoy and appreciate. Perhaps I don’t take time for this important meditation because I’m too preoccupied with my own so-called woes. I allow my mind to overflow with grievances; the more I think about them, the more monumental they seem. Instead of surrendering to God and His goodness, I let myself be controlled by the negative thinking into which my thoughts are apt to stray unless I guide them firmly into brighter paths. Do I try to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude?”

Today I Pray

May god lead me away from my pile-up of negative thoughts, which make for detours in my path of personal growth. May I break the old poor-me habits of remembering the worst and expecting the most dire. May I turn my thoughts ahead to a whole new world out there. May I allow myself to envision the glory of God.

Today I Will Remember

Keep an attitude of gratitude.

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One More Day

Every tub must stand on its own bottom.
– Thomas Fuller

As we accomplish each goal in our lives, we feel a tremendous sense of pride. Whether from success at the job, in school, or in a volunteer capacity, achieving a goal is personally gratifying.

The challenge that chronic illness presents is to reorganize our goals so they are still practical and attainable. If we spend our time complaining rather than changing, we may never fear to live successfully with the illness. It’s not going to go away. Things will never be the same as before. Accepting this fact is a colossal challenge.

My faith in myself has waned with the onset of my illness. I am just realizing that I can still depend upon myself.

[bluidkiti]

April 26

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
"The horror of that moment," the King went on, "I shall never forget." "You will, though," the Queen said, "if you don't make a memorandum of it." --Lewis Carroll
Crises come in many forms. When we are in the middle of any kind of crisis, we may feel like we have fallen into a deep hole. We may see no way out, and begin to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by the size and darkness of the hole.
Yet we are not alone. An animal caught in a hole would cry out until someone came along and helped it out. We, too, can call out for help--to our Higher Power and to the important people in our lives. We can learn to trust that, with the help of our friends and our Higher Power, we will be able to crawl out of our holes.
With trust, we will climb out of our crises and be healed with the passage of time. Such holes are a part of our landscape, yet every time we will be able to climb out and walk, leaving the darkness behind us.
What help can I ask for today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I drink not from mere joy in wine nor to scoff at faith - no, only to forget myself for a moment, that only do I want of intoxication, that alone. --Omar Khayyam
What has been our drug of choice? It may be alcohol. It may be sugar or gambling or dependent relationships. Some men have used anger, sex, sports, or the accumulation of money. Growing in this program, we learn there is a great brotherhood among us. Our problems have not been only with a certain substance or a given behavior. We have been seduced and trapped by a ritual of forgetting ourselves. If we hadn't found one way, we may have found another. In giving one up, we often found ourselves drawn to a new substitute.
Now we are learning to accept ourselves and to forget ourselves in healthier ways. We all need to move beyond the bounds of an oppressive ego. In our old style, we could not learn healthy releases because we were hooked on unhealthy ones. Now we are learning meditation, making friends, helping others, and letting go as ways to forget ourselves.
I pray for help today in staying away from self-destructive intoxications so I am able to learn healthy releases.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . pain is the root of knowledge. --Simone Weil
We don't want pain in our lives. We dread the situations we anticipate will be painful. We probably even pray to be spared all painful experiences. But they come anyway, at times in profusion. And we not only survive the pain, we profit from it.
It seems that pain stretches us to our limits, generally forcing us to look for guidance from others, and it pushes us to consider new choices in our present situation. Pain is our common denominator as women, as members of the human family. It softens us to one another. It fosters empathy. It helps us to reach out and realize our need for one another.
New knowledge, new awareness, are additional benefits of accepting, rather than denying, the pain that accompanies life. This journey that we're on is moving us further and further along the path of enlightenment. We can consider that each problem, each crisis, is our necessary preparation for moving another step down the road.
I learn out of necessity. And when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Negativity
Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns.
Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if were struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide its okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves.
We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them.
Today, God, help me to know that I don't have to allow myself to be pulled into negativity - even around those I love. Help me set boundaries. Help me know its okay to take care of myself.


Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Change Is in the Air

Just as the world around us changes and evolves, so do the circumstances and situations in our lives. We live in a universe that is alive, vibrant, and constantly evolving. Change is the way nature, the universe, and the Divine move us through each period of our lives and into destiny. We are led to our next lesson, our next adventure. There’s no need to deny change, to fear it or fight against it. Change is inevitable. Just as the earth is constant motion and transformation, so are we.

Take your place in the universal dance, the universal rhythm. Allow change to happen. Work with it as your life unfolds. Sometimes change comes in one smashing moment like a volcanic eruption. Other times it happens more alowly, the way the winds and rain sculpt bridges out of canyons.

Learn to trust your body– its signs, signals, warnings, and excited proclamations. We let the gathering clouds warn us of impending storms, and we learn to study and predict tremors in the earth. In much the same way, our body can function as a barometer for our soul and its place in the constantly changing and evolving universe.

You are open now, more sensitive than you’ve been before. Change is coming. It’s here. You can feel it in the air. You can feel it in yourself.

Thank your body for helping you. Thank the universe for what it is about to do. Then thank God because change will bring you closer to love.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Practice diplomacy

Taking care of ourselves doesn’t give us the right to be mean. Just because we’re telling the truth, we don’t need to tear people apart. Sometimes when we start to own our power after years–maybe a lifetime– of being timid and weak, we become overly aggressive trying to get our point across.

We can be honest with other people without being mean. We can be diplomatic in whatever we need to say, at least most of the time. And we usually don’t have to scream and shout.

I’ve learned a little trick along the way. The weaker and more vulnerable I feel, the more I holler and the meaner I react. The more truly powerful, clear, and centered I am, the quieter, gentle, and more loving I speak.

The next time you feel threatened or start to scream and yell, stop yourself. Take a deep breath. Deliberately speak more softly than you normally would.

You can speak softly and still carry a great big stick.

God, help me be a diplomat. Teach me how to own my power in a gentle, peaceful way.

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In God’s Care

Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a fovor without doing other people a fovor, and vice versa.
~~ Dr. Karl Menninger

Self-love is not the same thing as egotism. As recovering people we hated ourselves for so long that we were crippled by it. Learning to love ourselves again becomes a form of therapy – and appreciation for God’s creation. And the delightful thing we learn is that we don’t love ourselves without loving others, and we can’t love others without loving ourselves. How wonderful!

We can’t begin to love ourselves, however, without other people. People are essential, and so is God from whom all love flows. We are thankful for God’s love and ask God to teach us how to love others. And the more we practice doing loving acts for others, the more love we feel for ourselves.

I will practice loving myself today by loving others.

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Universal Feelings
Everything is Relative

by Madisyn Taylor

Pain is pain and yours is not greater than or less than anybody else's pain and deserves to be acknowledged as such.


Every day we hear stories of personal suffering and loss that far exceed our own. When we compare our situations to those of people living in war-torn countries or those who have lost their homes and livelihoods to natural disasters, it is tempting to minimize our own experiences of suffering. We may feel that we don’t have a right to be upset about the breakup of a relationship, for example, because at least we have food to eat and a roof over our heads.

While awareness of the pain of others in the world can be a valuable way to keep our own struggles in perspective, it is not a legitimate reason to disregard our own pain. Disparaging your feelings as being less important than other people's emotions leads to denial and repression. Over time, an unwillingness to experience your own feelings leads to numbness. It is as if our internal systems become clogged with our unexpressed emotions. This in no way helps other people who are suffering in the world. In fact, it may do just the opposite because when we devalue our own sorrow, we become impervious to the sorrow in others.

Fully experiencing our own hurt is the gateway to compassion toward other human beings. Feelings of loss, abandonment, loneliness, and fear are universal, and, in that sense, all feelings are created equal. Regardless of what leads us to feel the way we do, our comprehension of what it means to be human is deepened by our own experiences. Our personal lives provide us with the material we need to become fully conscious. If we reject our emotions because we think our experiences are not dramatic or important enough, we are missing out on our own humanity. We honor and value the human condition when we fully inhabit our bodies so we can experience and feel life fully. Accepting our emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them connects us to all human beings. Then, when we hear the stories of other people’s suffering, our hearts can resonate with understanding and compassion—for all of us. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I first came to The Program, I was stunned by the constant sound of laughter. I realized today that cheerfulness and merriment make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into laughter over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn’t e laugh? We have recovered, and have helped others to recover. What greater cause could there be for rejoicing than this? Have I begun to regain my sense of humor?

Today I Pray

May God restore my sense of humor. May I appreciate the honest laughter that is the background music of our mutual rejoicing in our sobriety. May I laugh a lot, not the defensive ego-laugh which mocks another weakness, not the wry laugh of the self-put-down, but the healthy laugh that keeps situations in perspective. May I never regard this kind of laughter as irreverent. I have learned, instead, that it is irreverent to take myself too seriously.

Today I Will Remember

A sense of humor is a sigh of health.

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One More Day

Kindness can become its own motive. We are made kind by being kind.
– Eric Hoffer

Our own simple words to others can brighten our day. Too often we are caught up in the personal miseries of our lives, too involved to reach out to other people. We have forgotten that other people have the same needs we do. So many times, because we are ill or old or hurting, we expect others to come to us. That’s not fair to them, and it’s not good for us.

Kind words and actions toward others can help us through the hard times. We can smile at the elderly man all alone in the grocery check-out line. We can talk to neighbors, thank the young man who courteously holds a door open, and reach out in dozens of other ways to the people who even briefly touch our lives. It’s good for them — and for us.

I will make an extra effort to reach out in kindness to my neighbors and friends.

[bluidkiti]

April 27

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Crying only a little bit is no use. You must cry until your pillow is soaked. Then you can get up and laugh. . . . --Galway Kinnell
Many of us were raised to deny our feelings; that is, we might have been allowed to describe them politely, but we were not allowed to express feelings on the spot by wailing, jumping for joy, or dancing. This is often considered rude. In a proper home, we often hear, if people have feelings, they have them quietly. But many of us have suffered living this way.
We need a full and thorough expression of a feeling in order to know it, experience it, and move beyond it. This is the way we let go of sadness, for instance.
Feelings come and go. If we are not afraid to let them have their moment, we will not be afraid to express them.
What am I feeling right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Fine friendship requires duration rather than fitful intensity. --Aristotle
Once we have embarked upon this program, we find spiritual recovery through relationships more than any other single factor. We find it through relationships with other people, with ourselves, and with our Higher Power. But most men in recovery need to learn how to be in a relationship. We have to give up ideas that a friendship is an intense connection or a conflict-free blending of like minds.
A meaningful friendship is a long-term dialogue. If there is conflict or if we make a mistake or fail to do what our friend wants of us, we don't end the friendship. We simply have the next exchange to resolve the differences. Our dialogue continues over time, and time - along with many amends - builds the bond. With it develops a deepening sense of reliability and trusting one another. When we have lived with our friend through many experiences - or with our Higher Power - we gain a feeling that we really know him or her in a way we could never have in a brief intense connection.
Today, I will do what I need to do to be reliable in my friendships.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
So much to say. And so much not to say! Some things are better left unsaid. But so many unsaid things can become a burden. --Virginia Mae Axline
The occasions are many when we'd like to share a feeling, an observation, perhaps even a criticism with someone. The risk is great, however. She might be hurt, or he might walk away, leaving us alone.
Many times, we need not share our words directly. Weighing and measuring the probable outcome and asking for some inner guidance will help us decide when to speak up and when to leave things unsaid. But if our thoughts are seriously interfering with our relationships, we can't ignore them for long.
Clearing the air is necessary sometimes, and it freshens all relationships. When to take the risk creates consternation. But within our quiet spaces, we always know when we must speak up. And the direction will come. The right moment will present itself. And within those quiet spaces the right words can be found.
If I am uncomfortable with certain people, and the feelings don't leave, I will consider what might need to be said. I will open myself to the way and ask to be shown the steps to take. Then, I will be patient.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of the Need to Control
The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self enhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems. --Codependent No More
Letting go of our need to control can set others and us free. It can set our Higher Power free to send the best to us.
If we weren't trying to control someone or something, what would we be doing differently?
What would we do that were not letting ourselves do now? Where would we go? What would we say?
What decisions would we make?
What would we ask for? What boundaries would be set? When would we say no or yes?
If we weren't trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren't trying to control another persons behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now?
What haven't we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we've been doing that wed stop?
How would we treat ourselves differently?
Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better?
If we weren't trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, and then do it.
Today, I will ask myself what I would be doing differently if I weren't trying to control. When I hear the answer, I will do it. God, help me let go of my need to control. Help me set others and myself free.


Today I choose to accept live on life's terms...all of it. I am open to all I see, hear, think and feeling the moment, without resistance. I am opening to be fully alive and enjoying the adventure. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Love Sets Others Free

One of love’s most challenging lessons is freedom.

Much of my life I thought love meant restraint. I couldn’t do this if I loved you. You wouldn’t do that if you loved me. Certainly there are times when love asks us to make choices. But love doesn’t limit, it doesn’t confine, as I once believed.

Love brings with it the gift of freedom. Love teaches us to allow the person we love to do as he or she chooses. It teaches us to encourage the people we love to freely make their own choices, to seek their own path, to learn their lessons their way in their own time.

Love that restrains isn’t love. It’s insecurity. We may tell others how we feel about something they do or don’t do. We may make decisions as a reaction to others choices. That is our right and our responsibility. But to restrain another in the name of love doesn’t create love, it creates restraint.

Love means each person is free to follow his or her own heart, seek his or her own path. If we truly love, our choices will naturally and freely serve that love well. When we give freedom to another, we really give freedom to ourselves.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Stop reading between the lines

Chelsea dated Tom for five years. During the course of those years, Tom told Chelsea that he didn’t want a serious relationship, and she shouldn’t get serious about him. Chelsea didn’t like what she heard. She thought Tom must care about her, because their times together were so good and because he kept coming back to see her.

Whether Tom was being manipulative isn’t the issue. Whether he was keeping a door open for himself isn’t the issue. The issue is, Chelsea wasn’t believing what Tom said– until he left her for someone else.

Yes, sometimes people are coy. Yes, sometimes people are reluctant to get involved. But if people tell you they feel a certain way, don’t read between the lines. Take them at face value. Correct your behavior to match the reality of the situation, not the fantasies in your mind.

Take people at face value. Say what you mean in your dealings with others, so they can take you at face value,too.

God, help me make a practice out of facing, dealing with, and accepting the truth.

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In God’s Care

The presence of faith is no gaurantee of deliverance from times of distress and vicissitude but there can be a certainty that nothing will be encountered that is overwhelming.
~~William Barr Oglesby Jr.

We’ve all experienced times so seriously troubling that we feared for our sanity: the loss of a job, divorce, or the death of a loved one. And in each instance we learned that the more we relied on our Higher Power’s support, the less we stumbled and the more we could allow ourselves our grief and get on with our life, perhaps even stronger and wiser than before.

Facing our addictions and working our program won’t guarantee that our future will be free of struggles. Everyone has to live through difficult times, some of us more than others it seems. But we needn’t sacrifice our serenity and security through these times as long as we let God share them with us. It’s such a relief knowing that nothing has to overwhelm us as long as we remember to let God shoulder the burden we’re carrying.

Whatever happens today will trouble me less if I let God handle it.

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You Are Who You Are, Not What You Do
Becoming Your Wrong Decisions

Our perception of the traits and characteristics that make us who we are is often tightly intertwined with how we live our life. We define ourselves in terms of the roles we adopt, our actions and inactions, our triumphs, and what we think are failures. As a result it is easy to identify so strongly with a decision that has resulted in unexpected negative consequences that we actually become that "wrong" decision. The disappointment and shame we feel when we make what we perceive as a mistake grows until it becomes a dominant part of our identities. We rationalize our "poor" decisions by labeling ourselves incompetent decision-makers. However, your true identity cannot be defined by your choices. Your essence—what makes you a unique entity—exists independently of your decision-making process.

There are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to your development and are an integral part of your evolving existence yet they are still separate from the self. A decision that does not result in its intended outcome is in no way an illustration of character. Still, it can have dire effects on our ability to trust ourselves and our self-esteem. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a "bad decision" was just an experience, and next time you can choose differently. Try to avoid lingering in the past and mulling over the circumstances that led to your perceived error in judgment. Instead, adapt to the new circumstances you must face by considering how you can use your intelligence, inner strength, and intuition to aid you in moving forward more mindfully. Try not to entirely avoid thinking about the choices you have made, but reflect on the consequences of your decision from a rational rather than an emotional standpoint. Strive to under! stand why you made the choice you did, forgive yourself, and then move forward.

A perceived mistake becomes a valuable learning experience and is, in essence, a gift to learn and grow from. You are not a bad person and you are not your decisions; you are simply human. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Am I so sure I’m doing everything possible to make my new life a success? Am I using my capabilities well? Do I recognize and appreciate all I have to be grateful for? The Program and its Twelve Steps teach me that I am not the possessor of unlimited resources. The more I do with them, the more they will grow — to overshadow and cancel out the difficult and painful feelings that now get so much of my attention. Am I less sensitive today than when I first came to The Program?

Today I Pray

May I make the most of myself in all ways. May I begin to look outward to people and opportunities and wonderful resources around me. As I become less ingrown and understand myself better in relation to others, may I be less touchy and thin-skinned.l May I shrug off my old “the world-is-out-to-get-me” feeling and see that same world as my treasure-house, God-given and boundless.

Today I Will Remember

My resources are unlimited.

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One More Day

Solitude: A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
– Joan Billings

We probably recognize our need for solitude in our lives — private time when we can sit and think, or listen to music, or simply enjoy the quiet. When solitude becomes a way of life, however, it can lead to loneliness, and loneliness can lead to self-pity. This is a dangerous position.

We tread a real tightrope with our need for solitude. We need to be alone, but not isolated. In our solitude, we can find serenity through meditation and prayer. Once we are re energized, it will be easier for us to balance our lives by inviting a friend into our home or reaching out to another who is in pain. Solitude encourages us to turn our backs on loneliness and to reach out to others once again.

I will not impose a sentence of solitary confinement upon myself. I am still a valuable member of society.

[bluidkiti]

April 28

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions. --Lillian Hellman
Every fall there seems to be something new and different to get for school--a special folder, a new style of pants, or maybe a different haircut. These things change from year to year.
Sometimes we get carried away with the current trends. We start putting too much importance on such things. We may be tempted to join our friends in teasing someone who doesn't wear the "right" clothes, or avoid someone who doesn't say the "right" things. This is when we need God's help.
Perhaps we can become the leaders for the next trend--looking beyond appearances of others to the beauty inside them.
Will I see the true value in those around me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Indeed, this need of individuals to be right is so great that they are willing to sacrifice themselves, their relationships, and even love for it. --Reuel Howe
We may have an inner drive to be right - and even to prove we are right. We often have been expected to know about the world and how things work, as if our manhood were tied to knowing. So when we don't know the right answer, or when a person disagrees with us, we may get upset because we feel our masculine honor is in question.
We should always remember that our honor requires being honest, not being right. Our masculinity is being true to ourselves as men, not being invincible. Demanding that our opinions always be accepted as right is destructive to our relationships. It cuts us off from people we love, and becomes hostile and selfish. We are learning to allow room for differences; we can love and respect people we disagree with. And we all have a right to be wrong part of the time.
I don't have to have all the right answers. Today, my ideas are just one man's honest thoughts.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
. . . suffering . . . no matter how multiplied . . . is always individual. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Knowing that others have survived experiences equally devastating gives us hope, but it doesn't diminish our own personal suffering. Nor should it; out of suffering comes new understanding. Suffering also encourages our appreciation of the lighter, easier times. Pain experienced fully enhances the times of pleasure.
Our sufferings are singular, individual, and lonely. But our experiences with it can be shared, thereby lessening the power they have over us. Sharing our pain with another woman also helps her remember that her pain, too, is survivable.
Suffering softens us, helps us to feel more compassion and love toward another. Our sense of belonging to the human race, our recognition of the interdependence and kinship of us all, are the most cherished results of the gift of pain.
Each of our sufferings, sharing them as we do, strengthens me and heals my wounds of alienation.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Anger at Family Members
Many of us have anger toward certain members of our family. Some of us have much anger and rage - anger that seems to go on year after year.
For many of us, anger was the only way to break an unhealthy bondage or connection between a family member and ourselves. It was the force that kept us from being held captive - mentally, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually - by certain family members.
It is important to allow ourselves to feel - to accept - our anger toward family members without casting guilt or shame on ourselves. It is also important to examine our guilty feelings concerning family members as anger and guilt are often intertwined.
We can accept, even thank, our anger for protecting us. But we can also set another goal: taking our freedom.
Once we do, we will not need our anger. Once we do, we can achieve forgiveness.
Think loving thoughts; think healing thoughts toward family members. But let ourselves be as angry as we need to be.
At some point, strive to be done with the anger. But we need to be gentle with ourselves if the feelings surface from time to time.
Thank God for the feelings. Feel them. Release them. Ask God to bless and care for our families. Ask God to help us take freedom and take care of ourselves.
Let the golden light of healing shine upon all we love and upon all with whom we feel anger. Let the golden light of healing shine on us.
Trust that a healing is taking place, now.
Help me accept the potent emotions I may feel toward family members. Help me be grateful for the lesson they are teaching me. I accept the golden light of healing that is now shining on my family and me. I thank God that healing does not always come in a neat, tidy package.


Positive energy attracts positive energy. Today my Higher Power continues to guide my growth so that I am more and more open. I am becoming free and unblocked and am attracting all that is good and right in my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Reward Yourself

Take time to reward yourself. Let it become a deliberate and practiced habit.

Many of us grew up in families, or with people, who didn’t reward us. We weren’t rewarded for good behavior; we weren’t rewarded or loved unconditionally, just for being, and particularly for being us. Althought many of us may strive to change that behavior by rewarding the people around us, we may have neglected the importance of rewarding someone very important– ourselves.

It is one thing to mentally congratulate ourselves for a job well done. It is another to take the time to actually, deliberately, and specifically reward ourselves. How many years do we have to live before it’s time to treat ourselves? How much good do we have to do before it’s good enough to give ourselves a gift? Maybe it’s time right now–today– to begin practicing the habit of rewarding ourselves.

Our souls can become tired, very weary of striving to grow, to do things well, to do our best at life, love, and work if there is no reward. Our passion can wane if good is never good enough, and if the rewards and pleasure are always at bay–somewhere out in the distant future. If you find yourself beginning to resist working hard, doing well, striving for spiritual growth, maybe it’s because you’re neglecting to reward yourself for all you’ve already done. If you feel like the world offers no reward to you, maybe it’s because you’re not cooperating by rewarding yourself.

Stop punishing and depriving yourself. Don’t let others punish you for a job, a day, or a life well done. Instead, reward yourself. Take a break and do something especially nice for you, something that would make you happy. Buy yourself something. It can be a little gift. Or you can splurge. Take yourself somewhere you want to go– in your home town, or in another country. Do something fun, magical and exciting, something that makes your heart sing and your spirit soar. Reward yourself by allowing yourself to enjoy what you give yourself, or what you’re doing. Make rewarding yourself an attitude.

Reward yourself often. When you accomplish a particular task. When you’ve gone through a grueling part of your healing process. Reward yourself during those frustrating times, just for being so patient. Sometimes, reward yourself just for being you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what you did

“How do you think it went?” Rob, my flight instructor asked me after my one-hour flying lesson.

I was used to this part of the drill by now. After a skydive or after a flight lesson, the student usually takes the time to sit down with the instructor and review the session. I reviewed the takeoff and landing, the maneuvers I had done, and objecrively analyzed my fear and performance level. I critiqued where I needed improvement and what my goals were for the next session. Then came my favorite part. I had to pick out what I liked best about my flying that day.

I thought for a while. “I think I taxied really well,” I said. “I’m really getting the hang of it.”

Sometimes, in the busyness and exuberance of living our lives, it’s easy to forget to take time to debrief. By the time we fall into bed at night, we’re tired and done with the day.

Take an extra moment or two at night. Make room for a new habit in your life. The Twelve Step programs call it “taking an inventory.” Some people call it “debriefing.”

The purpose of an inventory isn’t to criticize. It’s to stay conscious and objectively analyze what happened. Go over the events of the day. What did you do? How do you feel about what you did? Where could you use improvement? What would you like to do tomorrow? And most important, what was your favorite part of the Day?

Don’t overanalyze. Don’t use debriefing as a self-torture session. Simply say what you did, where you’d like to see improvement, and what you mosr enjoyed. You might be surprised at the awareness and power this simple activity can bring.

God, help me take the time to debrief.

Activity: If you have a spouse or a roommate, making a regular ritual out of doing a debriefing together can be a great intimacy-building activity. You can encourage your children to learn to debrief from the day at a young age. Or, you can debrief with a friend, on the phone, at the end of the day. You’ll not only get to know yourself better, but will also become closer to the other person,too.

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In God’s Care

That was another mystery: it sometimes seemed to him that venial sins – impatience, an unimportant lie, pride, a neglected opportunity – cut you off from grace more completely than the worst sins of all.
~~Graham Greene

Our old negative ways of handling things – brooding, complaining, ignoring people – not only harm us, but they harm others as well. Evem more, they cut us off from God. And because the small wrongdoings often lead to bigger transgressions, perhaps that’s why they take on greater importance.

Fortunately, practicing the Tenth Step can bring us back to our senses. Taking an end-of-the-day inventory can stop a negative attitude that might have consumed us for days. And when we again make conscious contact with God, it is as if we had never taken our little detour. God’s love never strays.

When I am down, I need to take an inventory of my attitude.

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A Question Of Balance
One-Sided Relationships

One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more.

However, there are also relationships in which the balance has always felt one-sided. You may have a friend whom you like, but you have begun to notice that the conversation is always about their life and their problems and never about yours. You may also have a friend who seems to require an inordinate amount of support from you but who is unable or unwilling to give much in return. Over time, these relationships can be draining and unsatisfying. One option is simply to end the relationship, or let it fade out naturally. Another option is to communicate to your friend that you would like to create a more equal balance in which your concerns also get some airtime. They may be taken aback at first, but if they are able to hear you, your friendship will become that much more sincere. They may even thank you for revealing a pattern that is probably sabotaging more than one relationship in their life.

A third option is to simply accept the relationship as it is. There are many one-sided relationships that actually work. One example of this is a mentor relationship in which you are learning from someone. Another example is a relationship in which you are helping someone who is sick, disabled, or otherwise needy. In these instances, you can simply be grateful that you are able to help and be helped, trusting that the balance of give and take will even out in the big picture of your life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I will resolve to observe with new interest even the commonplace things that happen today. If I learn to see everything with a fresh eye, perhaps I’ll find I have countless reasons for contentment and gratitude. When I find myself trapped in the quicksand of my negative thoughts I’ll turn away from them — and grab for the lifesaving strength of sharing with others in The Program. Do I carry my weight as an all-important link in the worldwide chain of The Program?

Today I Pray

I pray that God will open my eyes to the smallest everyday wonders, that I may notice and list among my blessings things like just feeling good, being able to think clearly. Even when I make a simple, unimportant choice, like whether to order coffee or tea or a soft drink, may I be reminded that the power of choice is a gift from God.

Today I Will Remember

I am blessed with the freedom of choice.

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One More Day

Where there’s music, there can be no evil.
– Cervantes

So many of us spent part of our childhoods glued to the radio, ears alert for our favorite stories and songs. Listening to music filled large parts of our days. The joy of music need not ever dim.

We can let the song within our heart burst forth, unbidden, to warn the memories of our souls and the texture of the days. Bubbling to the surface of awareness, music can create a twinkly in the eyes and cause a smile to burst into full bloom even on the shiest person’s face.

We can use the magic of music to uplift a bad mood or dissipate our sadness. While listening to music, we can, for a while, forget our problems. Loving music is a special source of happiness we can carry with us wherever we go.

My warmest feelings can surface as I listen to or play music, and I can feel perfectly happy.

[bluidkiti]

April 29

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If there is a God, there must also be a Goddess. Neither is more important than the other, both are in balance, together they create a Whole. --Marion Weinstein
In the olden days, the Goddess was seen as a Trinity: the Maiden or Virgin, the Mother, and the Crone. The Virgin was one-in-herself, owned by no man. The Mother was the one in the fullness of her creative powers, whether creating children, works of art, or other work out in the world. The Crone was the wise old woman.
Both women and men connected with the Triple Goddess. To women, the Goddess was a symbol of their innermost selves and the beneficent, nurturing, liberating power within. The Crone, for example, showed them that all phases of life are sacred, that age is a blessing rather than a curse. To men, the Goddess represented their connection with their own hidden female selves.
We are all made up of aspects of both sexes. This is our balance. When we accept what we know to be truly ourselves, which is often much more than the old role models for men and women allow, we become complete men and women.
What male and female strengths do I have within me?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I've never started a fight, but I never pulled back from a fight either. --Billy Martin
Sometimes we walk around with chips on our shoulders. We're like a tightly wound spring ready to jump at the slightest trigger, when other times we would let the same event go unnoticed. We even say self-righteously, "I didn't start it." Now that we are becoming more responsible for ourselves, we are owning our part in relationships. Maybe we have a problem with being like a spring ready to jump. When we are like that, we are difficult to live with or be around.
We can change by getting in touch with our pain. We need to explore our feelings. Perhaps we need to be honest with ourselves about low self-esteem, about feelings of loneliness or fear. Then we must talk with another person or our group about our feelings and continue to talk about them. In this way we become reconciled to ourselves and to our friends around us.
God, help me accept my own pain, and help me be tolerant of my friends' mistakes.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Love between two people is such a precious thing. It is not a possession. I no longer need to possess to complete myself. True love becomes my freedom. --Angela L. Wozniak
Self-doubt fosters possessiveness. When we lack confidence in our own capabilities, when we fear we don't measure up as women, mothers, lovers, employees, we cling to old behavior, maybe to unhealthy habits, perhaps to another person. We can't find our completion in another person because that person changes and moves away from our center. Then we feel lost once again.
Completion of the self accompanies our spiritual progress. As our awareness of the reality of our higher power's caring role is heightened, we find peace. We trust that we are becoming all that we need to be. We need only have faith in our connection to that higher power. We can let that faith possess us, and we'll never need to possess someone else.
God's love is ours, every moment. Recognition is all that's asked of us. Acceptance of this ever-present love will make us whole, and self-doubt will diminish. Clinging to other people traps us as much as them, and all growth is hampered, ours and theirs.
Freedom to live, to grow, to experience my full capabilities is as close as my faith. I will cling only to that and discover the love that's truly in my heart and the hearts of my loved ones.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Initiating Relationships
Often, we can learn much about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted.
As we progress through recovery, we learn we can no longer form relationships solely on the basis of attraction. We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves to take into account important facts, and to process information about that person.
What we are striving for in recovery is a healthy attraction to people. We allow ourselves to be attracted to who people are, not to their potential or to what we hope they are.
The more we work through our family of origin issues, the less we will find ourselves needing to work through them with the people were attracted to. Finishing our business from the past helps us form new and healthier relationships.
The more we overcome our need to be excessive caretakers, the less we will find ourselves attracted to people who need to be constantly taken care of.
The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect.
This is a slow process. We need to be patient with ourselves. The type of people we find ourselves attracted to do not change overnight. Being attracted to dysfunctional people can linger long and well into recovery. That does not mean we need to allow it to control us. The fact is, we will initiate and maintain relationships with people we need to be with until we learn what it is we need to learn - no matter how long we've been recovering.
No matter who we find ourselves relating to, and what we discover happening in the relationship, the issue is still about us, and not about the other person. That is the heart, the hope, and the power of recovery.
We can learn to take care of ourselves during the process of initiating and forming relationships. We can learn to go slowly. We can learn to pay attention. We can allow ourselves to make mistakes, even when we know better.
We can stop blaming our relationships on God, and begin to take responsibility for them. We can learn to enjoy the healthy relationships, and remove ourselves more quickly from the dysfunctional ones.
We can learn to look for what's good for us, instead of what's good for the other person.
God, help me pay attention to my behaviors during the process of initiating relationships. Help me take responsibility for myself and learn what I need to learn. I will trust that the people I want and need will come into my life. I understand that if a relationship is not good for me, I have the right and ability to refuse to enter into it - even though the other person thinks it may be good for him or her. I will be open to the lessons I need to learn about me in relationships, so I am prepared for the best possible relationships with people.


It is exciting to know that my thoughts and my actions in the present moment condition the next moment. I am responsible for my future. Today I am bringing awareness to my self-talk and replacing all negative thoughts with positive thoughts as soon as they appear on my mindscape. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Comfort Makes Everything Better

With comfort comes nurturing, genuine acceptance, and love. Comfort doesn’t involve any expense. It comes from the heart. It goes right to the heart.

Look at how much better you feel when you receive comfort, when you comfort yourself, when you allow the universe to comfort you. Look at how those around you respond when you give comfort. A comforted person feels renewed. Healed. Genuinely okay. When you’re comforted, the pain and stress that has awakened you each morning dissipates. You open your eyes and feel happy to be here. Happy to be you. You know, really know, that all is well. Finally, you feel safe.

When many of us were young, we ran to our mother, grandmother, or aunt to make a skinned knee, a bruised ego better. Now we are grown, but there’s another mother who can do that,too. Some call her the nurturing, feminine side of God. She is all that is in the universe, and in each of us, that is loving, tender, and gentle. And her comfort really does make everything better.

Comfort heals. It brings joy to the spirit. Comfort renews power,vitality. Comfort opens you up like the sun unfolds the petals of a fragrant and beautiful flower. Simply put, comfort will make you and those around you happy.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Ask God what to do

I was in treatment for chemical dependency. All I wanted to do was get high, cop some dope,do what I’d done for the past twelve years–obliterate myself. As a last ditch, almost hopeless gesture, I looked at the ceiling in my stark room, the place I had been assigned to sleep. I prayed, God, if there is a program to help me stop using, please help me get it. Twelve days later, sobriety fell down upon me, changing me at the very core of my being, altering the entire course of my life.

I divorced my husband and took on the single-parenting and single-financing role, continuing to pursue my dream of being a writer. My kitchen cupboards were nearly bare of food. I’m not that hungry, but the children are, I prayed. “Don’t worry,” an angelic voice whispered in my ear. “Soon you’ll never have to worry about money again– unless you want to.” An immutable peace settled over me. No food or money fell from the sky. But the peace, a peace as tangible and thick as butter and as healing as the oils of heaven themselves, spread throughout my life.

Years later, my son was stapped to a hospital bed. I touched his foot, his hand. I knew, despite the whooshing of the breathing apparatus, that he was not in that shell anymore. Then the plug got pulled. “No hope, no hope, no hope,” are the only words I can remember. Now, the whooshing sound turns to silence. I say good-bye, walk out of the room, just put one foot in front and walk.

“Just pick me up, and get me some drugs,” I say to a friend, three days later. “I’ve got to have some relief from this pain.” Driving around in the car, hours later, I look at the fresh box of syringes on the seat next to me. “Tell me what you want to put in them,” he says. “Cocaine? Dilaudid? What?” His irritation is as obvious as my hopelessness. My mind runs through the routine. Dilaudid? A medical prescription. If I needed it, legitimately needed it, a doctor would prescribe it for me. No prayers. No hopes. Just simple words came out, this time. “Just take me home,” I said. “I don’t really want to get high.”

Prayer changes things. Prayer changes us. Prayer changes life. Sometimes an event has been manifested that needs to be stopped, midair. Don’t pray just when you’re in trouble. Pray every day. Surround yourself with prayer. You never know when you might need an extra miracle.

Today, if I’ve tried everything else, I’ll try prayer,too.

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In God’s Care

Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth try.
~~James A. Michener

The need to be an expert right away continues to cause many of us unnecessary pain. When we fail to do something perfectly on our first attempt, we often feel defeated and our self-esteem takes a dive.

Working a Twelve Step program has taught us to expect spiritual progress, not perfection. With patient attention and perseverance we will reach the level of attainment we’re meant to reach in whatever we try.

Lasting self-esteem comes when we remember to measure our worth by God’s unconditional love. We no longer have to prove anything to anyone. Each new day we seek God’s will for us; we accept our shortcomings; and we promptly admit when we’re wrong. We are thus free to enjoy our particular abilities and achievements as gifts from God.

I will measure my accomplishments today by how much I enjoy making my best effort at whatever I do. The rest, I’ll turn over to God.

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Enlightenment at Home
Right Where We Are

by Madisyn Taylor

Not everyone will feel the need to travel afar to become enlightened as that can happen right where you are.


Many spiritual seekers feel called to far-flung places across the globe in the interest of pursuing the path of their enlightenment. This may indeed be the right course of action for certain people, but it is by no means necessary to attaining an enlightened consciousness. Enlightenment can take root anywhere on earth, as long as the seeker is an open and ready vessel for higher consciousness. All we need is a powerful intention, and a willingness to do the work necessary to moving forward on our path.

In terms of spiritual practice, at this moment, there are more tools available to more people than at any other time in history. We have access to so much wisdom through the vehicles of books, magazines, the Internet, television, and film. In addition, the time-honored practice of meditation is free, and sitting quietly everyday, listening to the universe, is a great way to start the journey within. There is further inspiration in the fact that the greatest teachers we have are our own life experiences, and they come to us every day with new lessons and new opportunities to learn. If we look at the people around us, we may realize that we have a spiritual community already intact, and if we don’t, we can find one, if not in our own neighborhood, then on-line.

Meanwhile, if we feel called to travel in search of teachers and experiences, then by all means, we should. But if we can’t go to India, or Burma, or Indonesia, or if we don’t have the desire, this is not an obstacle in terms of our spiritual development. In fact, we may simply be aware that our time and energy is best spent in our own homes, with our meditation practice and all the complications and joys of our own lives. We can confidently stay in one place, knowing that everything that we need to attain enlightenment is always available right where we are. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

As I grow in The Program — sharing, caring, and becoming more and more active — I find that it’s becoming easier to live in the Now. Even my vocabulary is changing. No longer is every other sentence salted with such well-used phrases as “could’ve,” “should’ve,” “would’ve,” “might’ve.” What’s done is done and what will be will be The only time that really matters is Now. Am I gaining real pleasure and serenity and peace in The Program?

Today I Pray

That I may collect all my scattered memories from the past and high-flown schemes and overblown fears for future and compact them into the neater confines of Today. Only by living in the Now may I keep my balance, without bending backwards to the past or tipping forward into the future. May I stop trying to get my arms around my whole unwieldy lifetime and carry it around in a gunny sack with me wherever I go.

Today I Will Remember

Make room for today.

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One More Day

You grow up the day you have the first real laugh — at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore

If we are always serious and never see the funny side of life, there will be no respite from our illness. It takes fewer muscles to laugh than to cry. We’ll breathe easier and deeper, and we’ll be much more content when we laugh.

We can choose to pay attention to why other people are laughing and learn to laugh along with them. We can try everyday — even every hour — to find the positive or humorous side of life, for laughter helps us put things into perspective. It lends hope and meaning to life.

I will open my eyes to the funny side of life and laugh with others.

[bluidkiti]

April 30

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. --John Vance Cheney
If there were no rain, fields would become parched and brittle, and many creatures would die. If we could not cry, all our emotions would eventually dry up, too, and soon we would not laugh either. Our tears cleanse us. Our tears heal. They make us whole.
Tears are as important to our growth as rain is to a flower. They help release the pressure of sadness so we can feel better. After a storm, when the sun shines again through the clouds, a brightly colored rainbow appears. After our tears, our inner sun shines, and rainbows are formed from our pain.
How well can I accept my tears as part of my happiness today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action not reaction. --Rita Mae Brown
All men in recovery confront their reactive habits in relationships. Whether we came to recovery as a codependent or as an addict, we soon must face how much other people's behavior has been a cue for our own reactions. There is always a three-part process in any reaction first, the other person's behavior; second, a moment of choosing a response; and third, our reaction. But in our spiritual slavery, we don't notice the choice stage. It feels automatic. It may feel as though "the other person made me do it."
No amount of changing on someone else's part can change us. We are becoming more responsible for our own lives and for our own behavior regardless of others around us. There is liberation in noticing the choice stage. It is tough to follow through on our choices, but when we do, it is truly a sign of a grown man. Then a remarkable thing happens - our self-esteem rises.
Today, I will pause to notice the choices I have in the moment between someone's action and my reaction.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Accustomed as we are to change, or unaccustomed, we think of a change of heart, of clothes, of life, with some uncertainty. --Josephine Miles
Being used to a situation, even a painful one, carries with it a level of comfort. Moving away from the pain, changing the situation, be it job, home, or marriage, takes courage and support from other persons. But even more it takes faith that the change will benefit us. For most of us, the pain will need to worsen.
In retrospect, we wonder why it took us so long. We forget, from one instance to the next, that a new door cannot open until we've closed one behind us. The more important fact is that a new one will always open without fail. The pain of the old experience is trying to push us to new challenges, new opportunities, new growth. We can handle the change; we can handle the growth. We are never given more than we can handle, and we are always given just what we need.
Experience can't prepare us for the ramifications of a new change. But our trust in friends, and our faith in the spiritual process of life, can and will see us through whatever comes.
If a change of any kind is facing me today, I will know that I am not alone. Whatever I am facing is right for me and necessary to my well-being. Life is growth. The next stage of my life awaits me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Balance
The goal is balance.
We need balance between work and play. We need balance between giving and receiving. We need balance in thought and feelings. We need balance in caring for our physical self and our spiritual self.
A balanced life has harmony between a professional life and a personal life. There may be times when we need to climb mountains at work. There may be times when we put extra energy into our relationships. But the overall picture needs to balance.
Just as a balanced nutritional diet takes into account the realm of our nutritional needs to stay healthy, a balanced life takes into account all our needs: our need for friends, work, love, family, play, private time, recovery time, and spiritual time- -time with God. If we get out of balance, our inner voice will tell us. We need to listen.
Today, I will examine my life to see if the scales have swung too far in any area, or not far enough in some. I will work toward achieving balance.


As I start this day with quiet meditation, I feel myself becoming still and at peace. At any time during the day I can bring my mind back to this moment. I will bring my attention and awareness back to the peace that I have when I am with my breath and I know that my breath is with me at all times, whether I remember it or not. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Awaken Your Healing Powers

From the traditional to the alternative, healers and healing energy can take many forms. Masseuses. Hypnotists. Chiropractors. Medical doctors. Herbalists. Each may have a touch of healing to bring to us at just the right time and place. But the power to transmit healing energy isn’t limited to those who work in hospitals or have mastered the ancient Chinese art of acupuncture.

We each have the power to transmit healing energy to others and ourselves, regardless of our profession. We each have the ability to awaken that power and use it in the world around us through our chosen field of work. The man at the deli knows his customers’ names and the details of their lives, then greets them with a warm, sincere, and healing smile. The woman who decorates homes takes time to get to know enough about her clients so that the colors and objects in the home reflect where they are on their spiritual paths. Friends and family members heal by using their gifts of intuition and speech to gently encourage and empower, their gift of though to transmit healing messages, and their gift of touch to rub a stiff neck or sore shoulder.

There are many ways each of us can creatively figure out how to incorporate and channel our healing powers into our daily life. See your favorite healer when you need to. On your path, be open to discovering new healers and combinations of practices that work for you. But don’t limit who can bring healing into your life. Remember that you’re a healer,too.

Healing energy is the energy of love. Learn to let it flow through you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Use a gentle touch

There’s a force out there, whether you call it destiny or use some other words, that brings people together who are meant to be together. It’s the butterfly story.

If you hold a butterfly too tightly in your hands, you take all the oil off its wings and it can’t fly. You can have the butterfly that way, but the butterfly can’t be a butterfly.

If you really love a butterfly, you won’t rub all the oil off its wings just so you can clutch it in your hands. If you really love something or someone, don’t hold on too tightly. Let that person be free. Let people be who they are.

Don’t rub the oil off the butterfly’s wings. Let it fly back to you on its own.

God, help me learn to use a gentle touch with everyone I love.

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In God’s Care

Man must cease atributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will – his personal responsibility in the realm of faith and morals.
~~Albert Schweitzer

There’s a tendency to blame people, places, and things for our problems. After all, no one as smart as us could get into so much trouble without outside help.

We have to quit assessing blame and take responsibility for our own actions. Most of the trouble we get into is the result of ignoring the guidance of our Higher Power. Others may be ignoring their own inner guidance, but that’s their concern, not ours.

Because all people are equal in God’s eyes, when we blame others for our problems, we are really hurting ourselves. Looking for someone to blame for a problem only prolongs the solution and puts distance between us and God. Blame is a hindrance to our spiritual progress.

When things seem to be going wrong, I have no one to blame. I will make conscious cantact with God and, there, learn what to do.

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Protecting Your Flow
How Fear Blocks Creativity

by Madisyn Taylor

When we are feeling creatively blocked, it is usually our own fear that is creating that block.


To understand how fear blocks creativity, take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story. First, imagine telling the story to someone you love and who loves you. You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight. Now, imagine telling the same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable. The wonderful twists and turns, the fine points and colorful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves. Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will probably feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down. When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

Knowing this, we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. However, achieving this is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a powerful—and creative—antidote. Before you sit down to be creative, try casting a circle of protection around yourself. Visualize yourself inside a ring of light, protective fire, or angels. Imagine that this protective energy emanates unconditional love for you and wants to hear, see, and feel everything you have to express. Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We’re taught in The Program that “faith without works is dead.” How true this is for the addicted person. For if an addicted person fails to perfect or enlarge his or her spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, s/he can’t survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If s/he doesn’t work, s/he’ll surely return to his or her addiction; and if s/he returns to addiction, s/he’ll likely die. Then faith will be dead indeed. Do I believe, through my faith, that I can be uniquely useful to those who still suffer?

Today I Pray

May my faith in my Higher Power and in the influence of The Program be multiplied within me as I pass it along to others who are overcoming similar addictions. May I be certain that my helping others is not simply repaying my debts, but it is the only way I know to continue my spiritual growth and maintain my own sobriety.

Today I Will Remember

The more faith I can give, the more I will have.

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One More Day

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
–Helen Keller

It’s easy to become overwhelmed with day-to-day pain and annoyance of a chronic medical condition. We try hard, but every now and again our perspective gets knocked off center. We may begin to think only in terms of sickness and pain.

Sometimes it’s difficult to find a kind thought or a warm spot for ourselves. If we shadow our lives with pain, frustration, and scorn we will not be able to relax within the quiet confines of our days. Eachh day is new and fresh, and it’s up to us to welcome it with joy and gratitude. It’s up to us to overcome the obstacles to our happiness.

Today, I take the responsibility for my own happiness.