Today's Thought -May

[bluidkiti]

May 1

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.

~Henry Ward Beecher

Once there was a boy who always looked on the bright side and always expected the best. He expected to like brussels sprouts before he had ever tasted them, for instance, and to like his teacher on the first day of school. Because he had such a sunny outlook on things, he was rarely disappointed.

One Christmas morning the boy and his brother awoke to find many presents. All except one small one were for the boy's brother. The brother opened his gifts with glee - a train set, a toy robot, a cowboy outfit, even his own TV.

Through all this, the boy smiled expectantly, confident the contents of his small box would equal the splendor of his brother's gifts. When it was his turn he ripped the box open to find only a pile of hay.

The boy clapped his hands with joy and ran immediately to the backyard. "Yippee!" he cried. "I got a pony."

If I expect the best, just for today, what wondrous things might happen?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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May 2

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.

~Sydney J. Harris

Relaxing is one of the little joys of life. We can learn to take time from our busy day to chat with a friend, take a hot bath, or spend a few moments sitting alone under a tree. The busier we are, the more we need to take time to relax.

When we rest, we stop fussing about the outside world. We find out how we're doing inside. While relaxing, we can best listen to our Higher Power. Our minds calm down. We put busy thoughts aside. Sometimes, we can almost hear our Higher Power say, "Stay quiet and listen! I have something to tell you!"
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, remind me to relax. My spirit needs rest and quiet so I can hear You.
Action for the Day

Today I'll list five ways I like to relax. I'll do one of them today.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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May 3

"Honesty" without compassion and understanding is not honest, but subtle hostility.

~Rose N. Franzblau

Any good thing can be used in hurtful or destructive ways. Our entire recovery is based on a fundamental premise of honesty. But our honesty becomes distorted and hurtful when we are not in tune with our motivations. A man who contradicts other group members to feel superior rather than to be helpful is being hostile. If we criticize people about things they cannot change, we are only hurting them. In making amends, we should not approach people who are better off without our contact, or who are better off without our confessions.

As we grow, we encounter more parts of ourselves that may be hurtful. We need to accept those parts too, not condemn ourselves for being human, not hide our destructive impulses from ourselves. Then our honesty with ourselves and with others will not be tainted by dishonest motives.

I pray for honesty with myself first so my honesty with others will be pure.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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May 4

Helping others

We have been given so much help in our addiction through countless other people who have searched for a solution. If others hadn't searched and found, who would have been there to offer us a helping hand? The ones who come after us can help us best by letting us help them.

Newcomers are a constant reminder and source of joy to us. We're on this path together, and we should never forget to be grateful for our fellow addicts.

Do I help others?

Higher Power, help me always to be grateful to the ones who have helped me, and help me offer my hand to others.

Today I will help my fellow addicts by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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May 5

Finding Your Spiritual Way

Today I surround myself with my spiritual recovery people. Some live near me, and I'm also the veteran liaison at a farm that has equine-assisted psychotherapy. The farm's founder is also in recovery, so I always have somebody I can check in with if I’m having a hard day. I’m not doing it alone, and I have a spiritual depth I never had before.

I used to live in fear of getting drunk. But I found that if I live the spiritual principles, live a life of service, look honestly at my own mistakes, and make amends when I need to, I can live a good life. A sober life. And I'm living a good life now.

I also do meditation and I journal. And I ask my Higher Power for help when I need to. I'm not as impulsive as I used to be. If I don't know what to do, I'll wait for an answer. And if I screw up, I can find a way to own my side of it and move on.

At long last, my insides finally match my outsides.

Today I will not live in fear, because I know I do not walk the recovery path alone.

~Deb L., U.S. Army, 1981–1996

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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May 6

Reflection for the Day

As I grow in recovery - sharing, caring, and becoming more and more active - I find that it's becoming easier to live in the Now. Even my vocabulary is changing. No longer is every other sentence salted with such well-used words as could've, should've, would've, might've. What's done is done, and what will be will be. The only time that really matters is Now. Am I gaining real pleasure and serenity and peace?
Today I Pray

I pray that I may collect all my scattered memories from the past and high-flown schemes and overblown fears for the future and compact them into the neater confines of Today. Only by living in the Now may I keep my balance, without bending backward to the past or tipping forward into the future. May I stop trying to get my arms around my whole unwieldy lifetime and carry it around with me wherever I go.
Today I Will Remember

Make room for today.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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May 7

Guilt keeps us stuck.

Who doesn't have some guilt? Surely no one we know has been "good" all the time. It's human to make mistakes and hurt others in the process. On occasion, we have even intentionally harmed someone. We can't undo the past. What's done is done. However, we can get free of the inhibiting shadow it casts over our lives today if we use the tools of this program of recovery.

The first step in shedding our guilt is to admit to ourselves that some of the things we have done are wrong. The next step is harder. We need to admit our wrongdoing to the one we have harmed and ask for his or her forgiveness. This can be made easier if we remember to bring along our Higher Power.

Why is all this necessary? As long as we have wounds in our relationships, we won't be able to see all the possibilities for growth and change that beckon us today. Our guilt keeps us stuck in the past, and it's the present that promises us the happiness we desire.

How are my relationships today? Do any feel tense because of my past behavior? If I really want to get the most from what today offers, I need to mend the past. With God's help I can.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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May 8

Once you'd get there you'd remember and love me - of course I'd be gone by then - I'd be far away.

~May Swenson

It's easy to feel inadequately loved by others if we're withholding love from ourselves. Yearning and waiting for understanding to come from outside sources can only bring disappointment. When we place ourselves in a dependent position, we perpetuate our feelings of helplessness and resentment. Having rejected ourselves, we're not surprised when we're rejected by others. And of course we find it hard to give others what we ourselves most crave. We're trapped in a cycle of scarcity and withholding.

It's wonderful to receive validation from others, but we need our own validation most of all. We need to become experts at showering ourselves with unconditional love. The more we love and approve of ourselves, the more we'll find our attitude mirrored by those around us. We'll be able to receive the abundance of love that has been here waiting for us all along.

Today, I offer myself the love I've been waiting for.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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May 9

Sometimes we'll take a few steps backward. That's okay too. Sometimes it's necessary. Sometimes it's part of going forward.

~Codependent No More

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She wants to help us learn. The lessons she wants to teach us are the ones we need to learn. Some say they are the lessons we chose to learn before we were born. Others say they are the lessons that were chosen for us.

It's frustrating to be in the midst of learning. It is like sitting in algebra class, listening to a teacher explain a subject beyond our comprehension. We do not understand, but the teacher takes the understanding for granted.

It may feel like someone is torturing us with messages that we shall never understand. We strain and strain. We become angry. Frustrated. Confused. Finally, in despair, we turn away, deciding that that formula will never be available to our mind.

Later, while taking a quiet walk, we break through. Quietly, the gift of understanding has reached that deepest place in us. We understand. We have learned. The next day in class, it’s hard for us to imagine not knowing. It is hard to remember the frustration and confusion of those who have not yet caught on. It seems so easy … now.

Life is a Gentle Teacher. She will keep repeating the lesson until we learn. It is okay to become frustrated. Confused. Angry. Sometimes it is okay to despair. Then, it is okay to walk away and allow the breakthrough to come. It shall.

Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because I'm learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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May 10

Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye nam'd not good.

~John Milton

Loneliness is a dominant fact of life for many people. It is also a consequence - it is caused. Regardless of the reasons behind our feelings and actions of loneliness and withdrawal, no matter how valid and compelling those reasons may be, if we give the loneliness ball a push, it's going to start rolling. If we withdraw from company or make it difficult for people to get to know us, that behavior will cause loneliness. If we habitually wear an aloof, unapproachable expression, we will not be approached. What we do (or don't do) determines what we get. And like any habit, behaviors that serve to isolate us come to feel normal, even inevitable, over time.

As long as we're alive, we're capable of building bridges between ourselves and others. Chronic loneliness doesn't have to be a fact of life. If we're willing to work at it, we can learn to reach out, make contact, and be comfortable in the company of our fellows.

Today, I will be the first to greet others and say a kind word.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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May 11

It's when we're given choice that we sit with the gods and design ourselves.

~Dorothy Gilman

Some of us addicts have dangerous ideas about freedom. Like everybody else, we want it. That is not the problem. The problem is that we don't really understand what freedom is and how it works.

Freedom means we can make choices about our own behavior. It doesn't mean we can control other people. It doesn't mean we can escape the consequences of our behavior. It doesn't mean that we can do whatever we want and things will turn out the way we want.

Our choices and our behaviors have consequences. That's the part we hated when we were using. When we make a choice, we are using our freedom, and we will get the consequences of that choice, whether we like it or not. Good choices usually result in good consequences. Bad choices usually result in bad consequences.

How can we use our freedom to get the good consequences in life? By working the Steps and listening to the advice of people who have what we want.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for the freedom I have had all my life. Thank you for the freedom I have now. Help me take your advice on how to use it.
Today's Action

Today I will think about my choices and their consequences.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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May 12

Come, Love! Sing on! Let me hear you sing this song - sing for joy and laugh.

~Mechthild of Magdeburg

We have all known people whose lightness of spirit was a delight to us. That quality of "lightness" was expressed by one recovering addict in a dream she had where she floated to the ceiling of her room like a balloon. Letting go of our will and ego is a spiritual process that happens gradually. It results in a lightness that brings freedom to our lives and joy to others.

We can know we have lightened up if we see the humor in life. If we feel serene and don't care about having things our own way, we live with ease. Another person expressed it like this: "I was outside blowing bubbles with my daughter when I said, 'Look how they catch the light. The light is already there, all around, but it needs the bubbles to be seen.'"

I am the bubble; God is the light. To have a light spirit is to have a transparency that enables the spiritual to become visible.

Where is my spirituality? Am I in the realm of light? Today I will let myself go to my Higher Power.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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May 13

Expect a Miracle

Don't quit five minutes before the miracle happens.

~Anonymous

When we came into the program, most of us had very little to show for our lives. We believed in nothing. We had experienced great disappointments. The greedy creditor that was our addiction had stripped away everything of meaning to us. We were left with nothing but pain and misery.

Now we hear incredible stories of recovery. People tell how, by following certain simple instructions and honestly working a program, they were freed from the grasp of their addiction.

Every once in a while we hear a story that sounds remarkably like our own. We are told that through work and the help of a Higher Power, we, too, can receive a miracle.

The most important miracle I can expect and count on each day is the freedom from my addiction. I can trust that if I stay close to the program, the miracle will be repeated, one day at a time.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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May 14

Two new beings are brought forth during childbirth: a newborn and a mother.

~Anne Marie Nelson

Whether or not we have given birth to a child, we can certainly appreciate the miracle. The opportunity that we now have to give birth to a new self through recovery is comparable.

It is empowering to realize that we can create, or rather re-create, ourselves through the help of this detailed yet simple program. Who could have imagined that we, while in the midst of a chaotic, drug-infested world, were capable of taking on a new persona, becoming a new woman? But here we are, charting a new course for our lives. Just as women need and deserve assistance in childbirth, we can rely on the help and guidance of other women who, like us, seek to sustain their rebirth. Together we will bring new women into this world, women who are eager to make a healthy difference in the lives of others.

I have the tools to create whoever I want to be. I am an artist at work.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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May 15

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

~Samuel Johnson

The Twelve Steps won't work for anyone unless they are practiced. That's why so many veterans of this program work the Steps over and over. It's a good habit, and good habits - just like bad ones - strengthen with use and time.

Prayer is an important part of this program that becomes as regular as habit, and it’s a habit worth getting into. Communing with God at a similar time, or times, every day brings us power for daily living and provides us with a spiritual reserve. Daily contact with our Higher Power gives us special insights into our own actions and helps us look with love on those around us.

Today I will strive to make prayer a habit.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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May 16

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.

~Annie Dillard

Today is our life. Even though we are drawn to live in the past or have fears and hopes for the future, we only exist in the present. This moment is all we have, and it is enough. There is no need to center our thoughts on how things will turn out in the future because we are alive right now, and this is our life. Our memories exist only in our minds; they enrich the present, but we have no opportunity to relive them.

As we live in this moment and center our awareness in this moment, we have a sense that we can deal with it. Feeling overwhelmed comes from trying to take too big of a bite of time. It's more than anyone can swallow. In this moment, as we sit in our place, we have sensations of sight and sound and touch. We can deal with this moment and that is all we need to do … ever. Centered in this very time and this very place, we regain our peace of mind and our ability to live well.

Today is all I need, for today is my life.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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May 17

AA Thought for the Day

In Twelfth-Step work, the fourth part is conversion. Conversion means change. Prospects must learn to change their way of thinking. Until now, everything they've done has been connected with drinking. Now they must face a new kind of life without liquor. They must see and admit that they cannot overcome drinking by their own willpower, so they must turn to a Higher Power for help. They must start each day by asking their Higher Power for the strength to stay sober. This conversion to belief in a Higher Power comes gradually, as they try it and find that it works. Do I care enough about other alcoholics to help them to make this conversion?
Meditation for the Day

Discipline of yourself is absolutely necessary before the power of God is given to you. When you see others manifesting the power of God, you probably have not seen the discipline that went before. They made themselves ready. All your life is a preparation for more good to be accomplished when God knows that you are ready for it. So keep disciplining yourself in the spiritual life every day. Learn so much of the spiritual laws that your life cannot again be a failure. Others will see the outward manifestation of the inward discipline in your daily living.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may manifest God's power in my daily living. I pray that I may discipline myself so as to be ready to meet every opportunity.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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May 18

Spring docs not ask an audience, but shapes each blossom perfectly, indifferent to applause.

~Joan Walsh Anglund

In the spring each blossom brings its own shape, color, and fragrance. The lilacs come early to spread their lavender splash. Apple trees burst into white, cherry blossoms into pink, and each weaves its unique and pleasant perfume.

They don't bloom because someone told them to, or because they will receive anything in return. They bloom for the pure joy of blooming. They bloom because that is what they are here to do.

Each one of us blooms in our own time, with our own color and fragrance. Every one of us is a special and important blossom, and we are all part of the tree of life.

How will my day today help me grow?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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May 19

Popcorn for breakfast! … It's like grits, but with high self-esteem.

~James Patterson

We need to lighten our step and believe in ourselves. We’re sober. We're honest. We're trustworthy. We're not making so many problems for other people anymore. We do our share. We can even help others sometimes.

We're glad that others help us. We thank our Higher Power every day. But we also give ourselves credit. We're working our program. We handle life as best we can. And as long as we ask our Higher Power to work through us, we can hold our heads high!
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me feel proud of the changes in my life.
Action for the Day

Today I'll talk with my sponsor about pride. What is good pride? What should I watch out for?

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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May 20

In music, in the sea, in a flower, in a leaf, in an act of kindness ... I see what people call God in all these things.

~Pablo Casals

The Third Step refers to "God as we understood Him." The pathways to meeting our Higher Power and to our spiritual awakening are all around. Every tree and every leaf on every tree, as it rustles in the wind, expresses God in our lives. When the little bird flies overhead or when it comes to visit the feeder, we are being visited by a spirit. When the sky boils with a storm, when lightning and thunder crash, we are witnesses to a Power greater than ourselves, a Power that predates human history. The beautiful works of art created by our fellow human travelers on this journey through life are expressions of their courage to reach out and create something. A line of music moves us, and we feel the spirit.

A child makes a drawing and gives it away. A neighbor helps you start your car. You treat the checkout cashier like a real person. Whatever word we use for God, if we decide to be open and receptive, we find God in the little details of our lives. Spiritual awakening is a wonderful daily occurrence.

God, open my senses to take in your presence more fully.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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May 21

Being humble

We are always simply servants of our groups, not presidents or authorities. We all take turns doing the fellowship's work. If we take on more than we can handle, chances are we'll feel martyred or we'll simply drop out. But this is not common when we share ourselves in the true spirit of service.

If we act in the true spirit of humility, cleaning up or putting away chairs will never be too low a task for us, and being a committee member will never be too exalted.

Am I developing humility?

Higher Power, help me to see how I might serve my group today in whatever capacity.

Today I will practice humility in serving my brothers and sisters by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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May 22

Stay Connected

The last time I relapsed, my spouse was in the hospital. I went home alone and had to release the stress somehow. I went back to what I knew - drinking. I didn't reach out for support and came to the realization: connection was a big part that was missing.

When I tried to attend meetings and be of service to others, I was told I needed more time before I could partake in any real service positions. Since I wasn't getting connected, I started looking around for other support systems in sobriety. Beyond receiving text messages, reading my literature, and attending an AA meeting - if I needed in-person connection right away, I learned there were a lot of recovery programs online. With my online community, I've received so much support from others I haven't seen in person yet.

When in doubt, get plugged in with a community.

~Jen O., U.S. Army, 1995–2019

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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May 23

Reflection for the Day

My courage must come each day, as does my desire to avoid a single drink, a single tranquilizer, a single addictive act. It must be a continuing courage, without deviations and procrastination, without rashness, and without fear of obstacles. This would seem like a large order indeed, were it not for the fact that it is confined to this one day, and that within this day much power is given to me. Do I extend the Serenity Prayer to my entire life?
Today I Pray

May each new morning offer me a supply of courage to last me the day. If my courage is renewed each day, and I know that I need just a day's worth, that courage will always be fresh and the supply will not run out. May I realize, as days pass, that what I feared during the earliest days of my recovery I no longer fear, that my daily courage is now helping me cope with bigger problems.
Today I Will Remember

Higher Power, give me courage - just for today.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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May 24

Taking a time-out will benefit everyone.

Reacting too quickly to any situation, grave or mundane, can lead us astray. Only by pausing first to hear God's suggestion can we be certain of doing the right thing or saying what's best. Somebody has to be willing to back away from an ugly conflict, or it can turn violent. Let's be the ones.

The program has given us the tools, and we'll gain in the process. We'd never have won the war anyway. Arguments are normal - healthy, even. We all see circumstances from unique perspectives; thus disagreements ensue. How we represent these perspectives is a sign of how much we have grown, and the opportunities for more growth will present themselves daily. Learning that we have the choice to back away is powerful information. It makes peace possible.

I'll be quiet rather than argumentative today. The change will feel wonderfully peaceful.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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May 25

Right now is the time to wake up from your sleepwalking through this life.

~Mel Ash

Some of us go through each day passively, as if we had no control over the direction of our experiences. We may think that luck or the actions of others are responsible for all that occurs. In fact, we have many choices. Awareness of our opportunities to choose and our use of that freedom are significant factors in shaping each day.

We can look searchingly at where we are and what we've contributed to our present situation. We can acknowledge and accept with compassion whoever we have been and whatever we have done in the past. We can empower ourselves to decide which attitudes and behaviors we would like to embrace and continue and which we'd like to change. We need not be stuck in passivity. We can choose new directions that foster healing and growth.

Today, I take actions that invite healing and positive change into my life.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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May 26

Feeling Good

Make yourself feel good.

It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.

We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, taking a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don't, we’re now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.

When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.

Let's stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.

Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If I'm uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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May 27

In dealing with other people, remember the three C's: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.

~Lorna P.

None of us lives in a vacuum. We all live in relational networks called systems. There are family systems, work systems, and church systems. We are constantly surrounded by and interacting with others. Some of those "others" have problems. Some of those closest to us have problems.

Adult children often display an exaggerated sense of responsibility - as if they’re responsible for those problems getting solved. With this in mind, we set out to "fix" the other. The fact is we didn't cause those problems, nor can we control the problems of another, and we surely can't cure them.

Recovery is an intensely personal matter - for us and for others. They will deal with their problems when they are ready and work as hard as they choose to overcome the problems they face.

Today, I will allow others the dignity of living as they wish to live.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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May 28

How unhappy is the person who cannot forgive himself or herself.

~Publilius Syrus

One of the most important things we do in recovery is to forgive ourselves. It is so important that it takes the first nine Steps to teach us to do it fully.

Our path to self-forgiveness is a difficult one. First we have to take a hard look at how we have lived and what we have done. Once we face the facts, we can decide to get well.

Why do we find it so hard to let go of blaming ourselves? Because our ego insists that we are in control and so we are to blame. We need to give up that idea and accept the facts. We have a disease that is stronger than we are.

Now we can face the damage, repair it, and move on with our lives. Now we can learn how to manage our disease - with help from our Higher Power and our program - and live a good and useful life.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I can't be free to do your will for me when I am bound up in ego and self-blame. Help me let go, accept my disease, and forgive myself.
Today's Action

Today I will call my sponsor and talk about the ways I am being responsible for dealing with my disease. Then I can talk about self-forgiveness.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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May 29

Letting Go and Trusting God

My treatment counselors had seen people like me before, and they suggested I see someone for my military issues. They made an appointment for me at the local veteran center. In July 1993, just six weeks sober, I went. On the walls were some memorabilia - pictures of military things.

By the time I got in to see the counselor, all these emotions were pretty close to the surface. He asked me to describe a couple of events I found troubling. When I did, I noticed he was crying. He happened to be a Vietnam vet who had twelve years of sobriety. By the time I ended my session, I had what he called a flooding experience. Everything stuffed deep down inside came back all at once. I was terrified, and more than anything I wanted another drink.

What I did instead, I stopped at the local Vietnam memorial on my way home. I got down on my knees and asked God for help. I decided to turn my will over to a God I had abandoned twenty-five years ago. And I didn't realize it immediately, but the compulsion to flee to alcohol and drugs was gone.

Even though I was sober, it took turning my will over to God for me to finally stop the automatic urge to drink or use drugs.

~Doc D., U.S. Army, 1968–1970

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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May 30

Friendship

Friendship of a kind that cannot easily be reversed tomorrow must have its roots in common interests and shared belief.

~Barbara W. Tuchman

We find the meaning of friendship in our fellowship. We no longer take hostages or allow ourselves to be hostages. We give and take freely in a spirit of good-natured affection. The friendship we find in our program is one where hidden agendas are left at the door. We relate to one another as human beings and fellow travelers.

We leave sharp, jealous attitudes in our old life, where they belong. We are careful to honor each individual. We remember that every person we meet has something to teach us. When we extend our hand to a person who is still suffering, we do not forget that it wasn’t so long ago someone extended a hand to us.

I find myself able to become friends with individuals I disliked at one time. They may not have changed, but I most certainly have. The world in general has become a much friendlier place.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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May 31

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

~Marie Curie

Fear usually comes from ignorance, and it paralyzes usually only as long as we remain in the dark. For addicts, fear is often free-floating anxiety that overtakes us inexplicably and pushes us toward unaccountable actions.

Anxiety and fear have causes, and if we are brave enough we can explore them and put the bogeymen to rest. We can't always do it alone, though, because we need to hear some reaction to our insights and hunches about where our fear comes from. We can often find our true selves in the shared struggles of another person or in the words given back to us as we tell others about our fears and hopes. Most of us have been alone too long with our feelings trapped inside.

We are striving toward understanding, however long and painful the journey may be. We need to remember as we go that we are accompanied by good and loyal companions. Every step we take can be a yard won back from fear as we become familiar with the new and uncharted territory.

I will think and speak my way out of ignorance and fear, accepting the companionship of others along the way.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart