bluidkiti
04-22-2023, 08:29 AM
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine, be done.
April 23
Daily Reflections
A.A. IS NOT A CURE-ALL
It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all,
even for alcoholism.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 285
In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was
the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly
was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over
twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings,
sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I
found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health
was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found
sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I
had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may
not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Men and women keep coming into A.A., licked by alcohol, often given
up by doctors as hopeless cases, they themselves admitting they're
helpless to stop drinking. When I see these men and women get sober
and stay sober over a period of months and years, I know that A.A.
works. The change I see in people who come into A.A. not only
convinces me that A.A. works, but it also convinces me that there
must be a Power greater than ourselves which helps us to make that
change. Am I convinced that a Higher Power can help me to change?
Meditation For The Day
Cooperation with God is the great necessity for our lives. All else
follows naturally. Cooperation with God is the result of our
consciousness of His presence. Guidance is bound to come to us as we
live more and more with God, as our consciousness becomes more and
more attuned to the great Consciousness of the universe. We must
have many quiet times when we not so much ask to be shown and led
by God, as to feel and realize His presence. New spiritual growth
comes naturally from cooperation with God.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that God may supply me with strength and show me the
direction in which He wants me to grow. I pray that these things may
come naturally from my cooperation with Him.
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As Bill Sees It
No Personal Power, p. 114
"At first, the remedy for my personal difficulties seemed so obvious
that I could not imagine any alcoholic turning the proposition down
were it properly presented to him. Believing so firmly that Christ can
do anything, I had the unconscious conceit to suppose that He would
do everything through me--right then and in the manner I chose.
After six long months, I had to admit that not a soul had surely laid
hold of the Master--not excepting myself.
"This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were
plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal
power--that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with
alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much
else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God."
Letter, 1940
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Walk in Dry Places
When am I manipulative?
Personal relations.
Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don't really feel…. Giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we're likely to do because of our jealousy.
Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. IT is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.
The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence others' actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honest. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.
I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid.
The door to the human heart can only be opened from the INSIDE.
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Keep It Simple
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. --- Ernest Hemingway
It's hard to listen in a complete way. Often we listen, but we're still thinking about ourselves. We wonder, "How do their words relate to me? Do I have anything to add?" Often, fear is behind these questions. We fear saying the wrong thing. We fear looking stupid. Good listeners know how to let go of their fears. To listen completely, we step outside ourselves, and we're totally there for someone else. Sometimes we listen for only a few moments. Sometimes we don't even agree with the people we're listening to. But we let them know that they count. What a gift we give when we listen in a complete way!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to listen in a complete way. Teach me to step outside myself and be their for others.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll listen to what the person says.
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Each Day a New Beginning
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. --Eleanor Roosevelt
We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending.
Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us.
To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other--we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.
We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.
What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today!
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Foreword to First Edition
This is the Foreword as it appeared in the first printing of the first edition in 1939
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person. And besides, we are sure that our way of living had its advantages for all.
p. xiii
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
EMPTY ON THE INSIDE - She grew up around A.A. and had all the answers--except when it came to her own life.
By the time a month passed, my feet were firmly planted in Alcoholics Anonymous. And I kept coming back. I cannot begin to list all the wonderful things that have happened in my years here. My kids were four and six when I got sober, and they have "grown up" in A.A. I brought them to open meetings, and the people there gave them what I couldn't in the early days--love and attention. Gradually they became part of my life again, and today I have custody of my children.
p. 520
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. These were the new attitudes that finally brought many of us an inner strength and peace that could not be deeply shaken by the shortcomings of others or by any calamity not of our own making.
p. 116
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All I have is today, this moment, now. I can spend this moment making
it the best moment yet with fearlessness, trust, courage, confidence,
faith and love or I can waste it with doubt, anxiety, worry, regret,
anger, fear, distress and hurt. Knowing that whichever way I choose
determines the experiences I will have, I choose to use the opportunity
of each moment to live my life to the fullest, always choosing love.
--Carol A James
Those who enjoy the greatest lives are not extraordinary people, or
even ordinary people with something added. They are not necessarily
the wealthiest or most professionally acclaimed. Those who sparkle
with aliveness are ordinary people with nothing taken away. They
have not lost their wonder of the moment. They cherish the presence
of a friend; they marvel when a child takes their hand. They find a gift
in each moment of living.
--Mary Manin Morrissey
I choose to love others, as God would. This means no severe judging,
no resentments, no malicious gossip, no destructive criticism.
--SweetyZee
Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom,
while discouragement often nips it in the bud. Any of us will put out
more and better ideas if our efforts are appreciated.
--Alexander F. Osborn
Forgiveness is a not a gift we give to the other person, rather, God's gift to us.
God goes ahead of us, preparing the way.
--Jean A Samples
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
DIVINITY
"To say that a man is made up of
certain chemical elements is a
satisfactory description only for
those who intend to use him as a
fertilizer."
--Herbert J. Muller
Man is more than chemicals. Man is more than an animal. Man is a
human being, carrying the image of God, the imprint of Divinity, the
power of the creative God.
As an addict I doubted myself, only adding to my "powerlessness" and
"unmanageability". I internally said, "I can't" before I tried. My low
self-esteem was evident long before I took a drink. I was always trying
to get my "outsides" to match what I imagined your "insides" to be
like.
When I accepted my alcoholism I was able to discover God in my life.
Today I am able to create through Him and in Him. Spirituality comes
with the awareness of our God-given divinity.
May I never cease to see You in my life.
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"Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the
test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to
those who love him."
James 1:12
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Matthew 6:12
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:25-34
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9
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Daily Inspiration
We have the ability to influence those around us and therefore it is necessary to think of ourselves as the center of peace so that we may bring calm to those who need it. Lord, may I bring Your peace to everyone I am with today.
God promises His forgiveness to those who repent. Lord, I am sorry for all that I have done wrong this day and all the days of my life.
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NA Just For Today
A God Of Our Own Understanding
"Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps us clean."
Basic Text, p. 25
Some of us enter recovery with a working understanding of a Higher Power. For a lot of us, however, "God" is a troublesome word. We may doubt the existence of any sort of Power greater than ourselves. Or we may remember uncomfortable experiences with religion and shy away from "the God stuff."
Starting over in recovery means we can start over in our spiritual life, too. If we're not comfortable with what we learned when we were growing up, we can try a different approach to our spirituality. We don't have to understand everything all at once or find the answers to all our questions right away. Sometimes it's enough just to know that other NA members believe and that their belief helps keep them clean.
Just for today: All I have to know right now about my Higher Power is that it is the Power that helps keep me clean.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear. --Mark Twain
It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid. Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we're not as good because we know how often we feel afraid. This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear. Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do.
We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can. To go ahead in the face of fear is courage.
What am I afraid of?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
In recovery, perhaps first we make peace with ourselves, and not until later do we become our own friends. We have been at war with ourselves and in turmoil with our families, even while feeling like victims. This program lays out Twelve Steps we can follow to become friends with ourselves. In recovery we may still feel self-hate when we constantly monitor our every action, when we react to our mistakes by berating ourselves, and when we dwell on past offenses. Would we put a friend through that?
A true friend will accept you as you are. He doesn't put you down or call you derogatory names. He'll give you honest feedback and won't put on a false front. He'll support you when you're in trouble. Being our own friend means doing these things for ourselves. Perhaps we can even embrace and be kind to the part of ourselves that is addicted and codependent.
Today, I will be a friend to my whole self - even the parts of me I have rejected.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. --Eleanor Roosevelt
We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending.
Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us.
To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other--we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.
We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.
What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today!
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Opening Ourselves to Love
Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.
At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?
We will learn. The starting point is surrendering - to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.
We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.
We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.
Today I feel my entire body energized by my powerful positive, thoughts. I feel alive and full of joy as I feed myself with loving and positive energy. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Give Yourself a Break
Learn to appreciate yourself and others.
Knowing we desire growth and improvement is one thing. Constantly driving ourselves and others is another. Maybe the answer isn’t that we need to do better, try harder, push more. Maybe the answer is recognizing and appreciating how well we already do things. How hard we try. How much we have done. How well others are doing,too.
Pushing ourselves can become so habitual that we deny ourselves any feeling of satisfaction. No matter how well or how much we do, the urge to try harder, do better, do more keeps pushing us on. It doesn’t let us rest. We still feel it isn’t quite good enough.
If you’ve been pushing yourself that hard, you may need more than a coffee break. Take a real break. Give yourself permission to put that drive aside. Quiet that part of you that wants to do more, be more, accomplish more. Learn to value how well you do things, even if no one else sees or appreciates your efforts. Applaud your own efforts and the efforts of those you love. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from yourself, tell yourself how well you’ve done. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from those around you, tell them that they are doing well,too.
Tell yourself how well you do. You may discover you’re doing better than you thought.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Say what your intentions are
Have you ever done anything deliberately to hurt someone, to get even with that person, or to gain revenge? Have you ever done anything subconsciously with intentions that weren’t noble?
“I dated a woman for three months,” Kent said. “It took me that long to realize that I was simply getting even with my last girlfriend, who had broken up with me. I used this woman as a tool for revenge and a way to get even with my ex. I felt horrible when I realized what I had done. But when I looked more deeply, I saw that my relationships were a series of attempts at getting revenge and retribution. I never took time out to feel and clear my anger from the last relationship that hadn’t worked.
Intentions are a powerful force. They combine desire, emotion, and will. They’re stronger and more powerful than wishes or simple desires. They can be a profound force in our lives and in the lives of people we touch.
Take a moment before entering a situation. Examine what your true intentions are. Do you have a motive, an agenda, a strong expectation involved? Have you been as clear as possible with yourself, and with whomever else is involved, about what you really expect and want? Or are you operating with a hidden agenda, hoping that if you force your will long enough, you’ll get your way?
Ask God to show you the intentions of the people you’re involved with. Sometimes they don’t know, themselves. Sometimes they do, but they’re not telling you. In those circumstances, you’re being set up for a manipulation and possibly some pain.
Be clear on your intentions. And stay as clear as possible on what other people want from you.
God, bring to light my intentions and motives, and the intentions and motives of those with whom I interact.
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In God’s Care
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
~~Friedrich Engels
Overplanning, overthinking, and too much talking often hinder the actions that can bring real growth. We know this, and yet we still get trapped, usually by our fears that we’ll not proceed perfectly.
Life is the process of making progress. We learn by doing, not just by thinking. We can make our forward steps more easily when we ask God to share the journey, but we have to put one foot in front of the other. And that usually leads us to someone else in need.
How many times have we felt stuck or depressed or obsessively fearful, only to discover our head clearing and our heart calming when we got out of the house, out of ourselves, and focused on someone else?
Helpful actions energize us and give us hope. They connect us to our Higher Power and make all the difference in our daily spiritual progress.
I will not sit and obsess today. I’ll go out and find someone in need.
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Permanently Parents
The Changing Nest
by Madisyn Taylor
Being a parent never ends, it only transitions throughout our lives together assuming new and exciting roles.
Once individuals become parents, they are parents forevermore. Their identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates them mom or dad. Yet the role they undertake when they welcome children into their lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of kindergarten or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way.
As children earn greater levels of independence, their parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mom or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honoring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honor a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support.
An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honor their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future. Published with permission from Daily OM
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
No matte what it is that seems to be our need or problem, we can find something to rejoice in, something for which to give thanks. It is not God who needs to be thanked, but we who need to be thankful. Thankfulness opens new doors to good in our life. Thankfulness creates a new heart and a new spirit in us. Do I keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them?
Today I Pray
May God fill me with a spirit of thankfulness. When I express my thanks, however fumbling, to God or to another human being, I am not ony being gracious to Him or that other person for helping me, but I am also giving myself the greatest reward of all — a thankful heart. May I not forget either the transitive “to thank,” directed at someone else, or the intransitive “giving thanks,” which fills my own great need.
Today I Will Remember
Thank and give thanks.
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One More Day
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
– Ecclesiastics 3:1
All time and places in our lives have meaning and value. Regardless of what we have done in the past, whether we are proud or ashamed of our past actions, the only time over which we have any control is now. If we have no sense of direction in life, if we have no daily power or purpose, we may wander aimlessly through this new time in our lives, unaware of where we are going.
The reality of our lives is this: our health has changed. We are the only ones who can choose how to deal with this reality. We can wistfully look back to another time and place, or we can live in the here and now by making the best of a less than ideal situation. The choice is ours, but only the second choice provides our lives with meaning and purpose.
I won’t squander today by living in the past.
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Food For Thought
Wisdom
The longer we live this Twelve Step program, the more we realize that we do not have all the answers. Our finite knowledge is very limited, and we need all the help we can get.
Acknowledging our limitations and our powerlessness is the beginning of wisdom. Conceding that we cannot manage our own lives puts us in a position whereby we may humbly ask for the wisdom that comes from our Higher Power.
If we are to grow in wisdom and learn which things to accept and which to change, we need to conscientiously devote time each day to the OA program. We need to read and re-read the literature. We need to examine our motives and our deeds. We need to act according to the promptings of our Higher Power.
Wisdom is not acquired overnight. The more patient we are and the more humble, the better able we are to learn from the mistakes we make.
May I stay close to You, the source of wisdom.
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One Day At A Time
~ BIRTHRIGHT ~
I've continued to recognize the power individuals have
to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant.
I've learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us,
merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright.
Anthony Robbins
I have divine origins because I am part of my Higher Power. Whether I see my Higher Power as a male, female or neither; no matter if I experience my Higher Power as a Heavenly Parent, a Divine Friend, or a Great Spirit; whether I find my Higher Power in a temple, in the mountains, or in my child's eyes ... I am connected to something greater than myself, my problems, and my fears. The who, what, where, when, and how of my Higher Power are not important. I don't have to completely understand HP because my HP understands me.
I have been endowed with all the things I need to be successful in recovery and in life. All I have to do is step up and claim them. I have intellect, I have emotion, and I have a spirit. All of those things have a direct line to my Higher Power. What I can't yet access is given to me as a gift when I claim my divine birthright by simply saying, "I can't. You can. I think I'll let You." What greater power is there than to give our power to our Higher Power? Knowing when I can't do it alone is a gift!
One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember I come from royalty. I will remember my divine birthright and step up to claim it. Today I will not sell my divine birthright for a mess of pottage.
~ Sandee ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that! - Pg. 153 - A Vision For You
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
You are allowed to use a concept of God to rant and rave at, to vent frustrations. If you believe in a Higher Power or you don't, it doesn't matter. If you rant at god and there is none, no harm done. IF you rant at god and God exists, no harm done. A loving God understands and absorbs your pain. This is better then ranting at those around you, who may not care to absorb your pain!
I vent my frustrations toward a Universal Intelligence, not others who may be unable to bear my suffering.
Silver Linings
I search for silver linings, for the deeper meaning of events in my life. I will look for the lesson. When life offers up its inevitable challenges, I will try to understand what I am meant to see that I am not seeing, what I am meant to hear that I am not hearing. There is always a silver lining if I look for it. Even if I don't see it readily, I trust that it is there and that it will reveal itself to me over time. Life isn't simple. One of the ways that I can have a better experience is to see what is positive, about a given situation, to look for the silver lining. I can grow in joy and in pain. It doesn't need to be one or the other because pain can transform into joy. It can be the fire that clears the the field for new and tender growth.
There is always a silver lining
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
'Smile facts: It is 2.5 times easier to smile than to frown. It takes 43 muscles to frown, but only 17 to smile. Smiling stimulates our nervous system to produce 'cerebral morphine.' This hormone give us a pleasant feeling and it has an anesthetic effect. ~Karlynn Baker Scharlau, A Thoughtful Moment
When I meet someone today who isn't wearing a smile, I give them mine.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
From Narcotic's Obvious to Narcotic's Anonymous.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I hate 12 Step calls. I complain all the way to the house.. I hate every minute of it. Until the door opens and I look in the eyes and see the pain, the fear, the degradation and the incomprehensible demoralization. I see what was in my eyes when I walked through the doors of AA. And I look in the eyes and it becomes the greatest gift you've ever given me; the ability to give a little bit of my dark, sleazy past and turn it into the greatest gift that I have to give to another human being. - Patti O.
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AA Thought for the Day
April 23
Step Four
"Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves."
Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover
what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. . .
Without a willing and persistent effort to do this,
there can be little sobriety or contentment for us.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 42-43
Thought to Ponder . . .
I am responsible for the effort -- not the outcome.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
W H O = Willingness, Honesty, Open-mindedness.
~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
Gratitude
"One exercise that I practice
is to try for a full inventory of my blessings
and then for a right acceptance
of the many gifts that are mine--
both temporal and spiritual.
Here I try to achieve a state of joyful gratitude.
When such a brand of gratitude
is repeatedly affirmed and pondered,
it can finally displace the natural tendency to
congratulate myself on whatever progress
I may have been enabled to make
in certain areas of living.
I try hard to hold fast to the truth
that a full and thankful heart
cannot entertain great conceits.
When brimming with gratitude,
one's heartbeat must surely result
in outgoing love,
the finest emotion that we can ever know."
Bill W., Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, March 1962
As Bill Sees It, p. 37
Thought to Consider . . .
It's a pity we can't forget our troubles
the same way we forget our blessings.
*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
GIFTS
Getting It From The Steps
*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*
Progress
From "Gutter Bravado":
"Still very impatient, I wanted the whole deal right away. That's why I related so well to the story about a wide-eyed new
person and an oldtimer. When the newcomer approached the oldtimer, envying his accomplishments and many years
of sobriety, the oldtimer slapped down his hand like a gavel and said, 'I'll trade you even! My thirty years to your thirty
days right now!' He knew what the newcomer had yet to find out: that true happiness is found in the journey, not the destination."
2001 AAWS, Inc., Fourth Edition; Alcoholics Anonymous, pgs. 510-11
*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*
"Love mediates faith to others -- by caring what happens to them, by patience, by persistence, by humor."
Rev. Samuel Shoemaker, Friend of AA, September 1948
"And So from My Heart I Say"
AA Grapevine
~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*
"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to
Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give
freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the
Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you
trudge the Road of Happy Destiny."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 164
"...we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved,
there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of
spiritual tools laid at our feet."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, Page 25~
We shall look for progress, not for perfection.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 91
Misc. AA Literature - Quote
To Be Fair-Minded
Too often, I think, we have deprecated and even derided projects of our friends in the field of alcoholism just because
we do not always see eye to eye with them.
We should very seriously ask ourselves how many alcoholics have gone on drinking simply because we have failed to
cooperate in good spirit with these many agencies--whether they be good, bad, or indifferent. No alcoholic should go
mad or die merely because he did not come straight to A.A. at the beginning.
Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top-priority rating. When we speak or act
hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot.
1. GRAPEVINE, JULY 1965
2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 91
Prayer For The Day: Dear Lord, allow me to help others and show them kindness. Help me not to take things personally and show kindness even when I am not shown kindness in return.
Ask and you shall receive,
Seek and ye shall find,
Knock and it shall be opened unto you.
Matthew 7:7
Courage to change the things I can;
and Wisdom to know the difference.
Thy will, not mine, be done.
April 23
Daily Reflections
A.A. IS NOT A CURE-ALL
It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all,
even for alcoholism.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 285
In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was
the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly
was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over
twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings,
sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I
found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health
was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found
sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I
had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may
not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
A.A. Thought For The Day
Men and women keep coming into A.A., licked by alcohol, often given
up by doctors as hopeless cases, they themselves admitting they're
helpless to stop drinking. When I see these men and women get sober
and stay sober over a period of months and years, I know that A.A.
works. The change I see in people who come into A.A. not only
convinces me that A.A. works, but it also convinces me that there
must be a Power greater than ourselves which helps us to make that
change. Am I convinced that a Higher Power can help me to change?
Meditation For The Day
Cooperation with God is the great necessity for our lives. All else
follows naturally. Cooperation with God is the result of our
consciousness of His presence. Guidance is bound to come to us as we
live more and more with God, as our consciousness becomes more and
more attuned to the great Consciousness of the universe. We must
have many quiet times when we not so much ask to be shown and led
by God, as to feel and realize His presence. New spiritual growth
comes naturally from cooperation with God.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that God may supply me with strength and show me the
direction in which He wants me to grow. I pray that these things may
come naturally from my cooperation with Him.
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As Bill Sees It
No Personal Power, p. 114
"At first, the remedy for my personal difficulties seemed so obvious
that I could not imagine any alcoholic turning the proposition down
were it properly presented to him. Believing so firmly that Christ can
do anything, I had the unconscious conceit to suppose that He would
do everything through me--right then and in the manner I chose.
After six long months, I had to admit that not a soul had surely laid
hold of the Master--not excepting myself.
"This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were
plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal
power--that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with
alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much
else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God."
Letter, 1940
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Walk in Dry Places
When am I manipulative?
Personal relations.
Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don't really feel…. Giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we're likely to do because of our jealousy.
Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. IT is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.
The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence others' actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honest. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.
I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid.
The door to the human heart can only be opened from the INSIDE.
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Keep It Simple
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. --- Ernest Hemingway
It's hard to listen in a complete way. Often we listen, but we're still thinking about ourselves. We wonder, "How do their words relate to me? Do I have anything to add?" Often, fear is behind these questions. We fear saying the wrong thing. We fear looking stupid. Good listeners know how to let go of their fears. To listen completely, we step outside ourselves, and we're totally there for someone else. Sometimes we listen for only a few moments. Sometimes we don't even agree with the people we're listening to. But we let them know that they count. What a gift we give when we listen in a complete way!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to listen in a complete way. Teach me to step outside myself and be their for others.
Action for the Day: Today, I'll listen to what the person says.
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Each Day a New Beginning
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. --Eleanor Roosevelt
We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending.
Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us.
To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other--we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.
We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.
What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today!
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition
Foreword to First Edition
This is the Foreword as it appeared in the first printing of the first edition in 1939
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic. Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person. And besides, we are sure that our way of living had its advantages for all.
p. xiii
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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories
EMPTY ON THE INSIDE - She grew up around A.A. and had all the answers--except when it came to her own life.
By the time a month passed, my feet were firmly planted in Alcoholics Anonymous. And I kept coming back. I cannot begin to list all the wonderful things that have happened in my years here. My kids were four and six when I got sober, and they have "grown up" in A.A. I brought them to open meetings, and the people there gave them what I couldn't in the early days--love and attention. Gradually they became part of my life again, and today I have custody of my children.
p. 520
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care. These were the new attitudes that finally brought many of us an inner strength and peace that could not be deeply shaken by the shortcomings of others or by any calamity not of our own making.
p. 116
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All I have is today, this moment, now. I can spend this moment making
it the best moment yet with fearlessness, trust, courage, confidence,
faith and love or I can waste it with doubt, anxiety, worry, regret,
anger, fear, distress and hurt. Knowing that whichever way I choose
determines the experiences I will have, I choose to use the opportunity
of each moment to live my life to the fullest, always choosing love.
--Carol A James
Those who enjoy the greatest lives are not extraordinary people, or
even ordinary people with something added. They are not necessarily
the wealthiest or most professionally acclaimed. Those who sparkle
with aliveness are ordinary people with nothing taken away. They
have not lost their wonder of the moment. They cherish the presence
of a friend; they marvel when a child takes their hand. They find a gift
in each moment of living.
--Mary Manin Morrissey
I choose to love others, as God would. This means no severe judging,
no resentments, no malicious gossip, no destructive criticism.
--SweetyZee
Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom,
while discouragement often nips it in the bud. Any of us will put out
more and better ideas if our efforts are appreciated.
--Alexander F. Osborn
Forgiveness is a not a gift we give to the other person, rather, God's gift to us.
God goes ahead of us, preparing the way.
--Jean A Samples
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation
DIVINITY
"To say that a man is made up of
certain chemical elements is a
satisfactory description only for
those who intend to use him as a
fertilizer."
--Herbert J. Muller
Man is more than chemicals. Man is more than an animal. Man is a
human being, carrying the image of God, the imprint of Divinity, the
power of the creative God.
As an addict I doubted myself, only adding to my "powerlessness" and
"unmanageability". I internally said, "I can't" before I tried. My low
self-esteem was evident long before I took a drink. I was always trying
to get my "outsides" to match what I imagined your "insides" to be
like.
When I accepted my alcoholism I was able to discover God in my life.
Today I am able to create through Him and in Him. Spirituality comes
with the awareness of our God-given divinity.
May I never cease to see You in my life.
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"Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the
test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to
those who love him."
James 1:12
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Matthew 6:12
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:25-34
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:4-9
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Daily Inspiration
We have the ability to influence those around us and therefore it is necessary to think of ourselves as the center of peace so that we may bring calm to those who need it. Lord, may I bring Your peace to everyone I am with today.
God promises His forgiveness to those who repent. Lord, I am sorry for all that I have done wrong this day and all the days of my life.
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NA Just For Today
A God Of Our Own Understanding
"Many of us understand God to be simply whatever force keeps us clean."
Basic Text, p. 25
Some of us enter recovery with a working understanding of a Higher Power. For a lot of us, however, "God" is a troublesome word. We may doubt the existence of any sort of Power greater than ourselves. Or we may remember uncomfortable experiences with religion and shy away from "the God stuff."
Starting over in recovery means we can start over in our spiritual life, too. If we're not comfortable with what we learned when we were growing up, we can try a different approach to our spirituality. We don't have to understand everything all at once or find the answers to all our questions right away. Sometimes it's enough just to know that other NA members believe and that their belief helps keep them clean.
Just for today: All I have to know right now about my Higher Power is that it is the Power that helps keep me clean.
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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear. --Mark Twain
It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid. Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we're not as good because we know how often we feel afraid. This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear. Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do.
We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can. To go ahead in the face of fear is courage.
What am I afraid of?
You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
In recovery, perhaps first we make peace with ourselves, and not until later do we become our own friends. We have been at war with ourselves and in turmoil with our families, even while feeling like victims. This program lays out Twelve Steps we can follow to become friends with ourselves. In recovery we may still feel self-hate when we constantly monitor our every action, when we react to our mistakes by berating ourselves, and when we dwell on past offenses. Would we put a friend through that?
A true friend will accept you as you are. He doesn't put you down or call you derogatory names. He'll give you honest feedback and won't put on a false front. He'll support you when you're in trouble. Being our own friend means doing these things for ourselves. Perhaps we can even embrace and be kind to the part of ourselves that is addicted and codependent.
Today, I will be a friend to my whole self - even the parts of me I have rejected.
You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die. --Eleanor Roosevelt
We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life's flow are unending.
Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another's daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God's path to us and through us.
To live means sharing one another's space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other--we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.
We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.
What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today!
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Opening Ourselves to Love
Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.
At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn't? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?
We will learn. The starting point is surrendering - to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.
We may need to get angry first - angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don't want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.
We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.
Today I feel my entire body energized by my powerful positive, thoughts. I feel alive and full of joy as I feed myself with loving and positive energy. --Ruth Fishel
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Journey To The Heart
Give Yourself a Break
Learn to appreciate yourself and others.
Knowing we desire growth and improvement is one thing. Constantly driving ourselves and others is another. Maybe the answer isn’t that we need to do better, try harder, push more. Maybe the answer is recognizing and appreciating how well we already do things. How hard we try. How much we have done. How well others are doing,too.
Pushing ourselves can become so habitual that we deny ourselves any feeling of satisfaction. No matter how well or how much we do, the urge to try harder, do better, do more keeps pushing us on. It doesn’t let us rest. We still feel it isn’t quite good enough.
If you’ve been pushing yourself that hard, you may need more than a coffee break. Take a real break. Give yourself permission to put that drive aside. Quiet that part of you that wants to do more, be more, accomplish more. Learn to value how well you do things, even if no one else sees or appreciates your efforts. Applaud your own efforts and the efforts of those you love. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from yourself, tell yourself how well you’ve done. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from those around you, tell them that they are doing well,too.
Tell yourself how well you do. You may discover you’re doing better than you thought.
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More Language Of Letting Go
Say what your intentions are
Have you ever done anything deliberately to hurt someone, to get even with that person, or to gain revenge? Have you ever done anything subconsciously with intentions that weren’t noble?
“I dated a woman for three months,” Kent said. “It took me that long to realize that I was simply getting even with my last girlfriend, who had broken up with me. I used this woman as a tool for revenge and a way to get even with my ex. I felt horrible when I realized what I had done. But when I looked more deeply, I saw that my relationships were a series of attempts at getting revenge and retribution. I never took time out to feel and clear my anger from the last relationship that hadn’t worked.
Intentions are a powerful force. They combine desire, emotion, and will. They’re stronger and more powerful than wishes or simple desires. They can be a profound force in our lives and in the lives of people we touch.
Take a moment before entering a situation. Examine what your true intentions are. Do you have a motive, an agenda, a strong expectation involved? Have you been as clear as possible with yourself, and with whomever else is involved, about what you really expect and want? Or are you operating with a hidden agenda, hoping that if you force your will long enough, you’ll get your way?
Ask God to show you the intentions of the people you’re involved with. Sometimes they don’t know, themselves. Sometimes they do, but they’re not telling you. In those circumstances, you’re being set up for a manipulation and possibly some pain.
Be clear on your intentions. And stay as clear as possible on what other people want from you.
God, bring to light my intentions and motives, and the intentions and motives of those with whom I interact.
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In God’s Care
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
~~Friedrich Engels
Overplanning, overthinking, and too much talking often hinder the actions that can bring real growth. We know this, and yet we still get trapped, usually by our fears that we’ll not proceed perfectly.
Life is the process of making progress. We learn by doing, not just by thinking. We can make our forward steps more easily when we ask God to share the journey, but we have to put one foot in front of the other. And that usually leads us to someone else in need.
How many times have we felt stuck or depressed or obsessively fearful, only to discover our head clearing and our heart calming when we got out of the house, out of ourselves, and focused on someone else?
Helpful actions energize us and give us hope. They connect us to our Higher Power and make all the difference in our daily spiritual progress.
I will not sit and obsess today. I’ll go out and find someone in need.
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Permanently Parents
The Changing Nest
by Madisyn Taylor
Being a parent never ends, it only transitions throughout our lives together assuming new and exciting roles.
Once individuals become parents, they are parents forevermore. Their identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates them mom or dad. Yet the role they undertake when they welcome children into their lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of kindergarten or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way.
As children earn greater levels of independence, their parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mom or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honoring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honor a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support.
An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honor their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future. Published with permission from Daily OM
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A Day At A Time
Reflection For The Day
No matte what it is that seems to be our need or problem, we can find something to rejoice in, something for which to give thanks. It is not God who needs to be thanked, but we who need to be thankful. Thankfulness opens new doors to good in our life. Thankfulness creates a new heart and a new spirit in us. Do I keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them?
Today I Pray
May God fill me with a spirit of thankfulness. When I express my thanks, however fumbling, to God or to another human being, I am not ony being gracious to Him or that other person for helping me, but I am also giving myself the greatest reward of all — a thankful heart. May I not forget either the transitive “to thank,” directed at someone else, or the intransitive “giving thanks,” which fills my own great need.
Today I Will Remember
Thank and give thanks.
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One More Day
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
– Ecclesiastics 3:1
All time and places in our lives have meaning and value. Regardless of what we have done in the past, whether we are proud or ashamed of our past actions, the only time over which we have any control is now. If we have no sense of direction in life, if we have no daily power or purpose, we may wander aimlessly through this new time in our lives, unaware of where we are going.
The reality of our lives is this: our health has changed. We are the only ones who can choose how to deal with this reality. We can wistfully look back to another time and place, or we can live in the here and now by making the best of a less than ideal situation. The choice is ours, but only the second choice provides our lives with meaning and purpose.
I won’t squander today by living in the past.
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Food For Thought
Wisdom
The longer we live this Twelve Step program, the more we realize that we do not have all the answers. Our finite knowledge is very limited, and we need all the help we can get.
Acknowledging our limitations and our powerlessness is the beginning of wisdom. Conceding that we cannot manage our own lives puts us in a position whereby we may humbly ask for the wisdom that comes from our Higher Power.
If we are to grow in wisdom and learn which things to accept and which to change, we need to conscientiously devote time each day to the OA program. We need to read and re-read the literature. We need to examine our motives and our deeds. We need to act according to the promptings of our Higher Power.
Wisdom is not acquired overnight. The more patient we are and the more humble, the better able we are to learn from the mistakes we make.
May I stay close to You, the source of wisdom.
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One Day At A Time
~ BIRTHRIGHT ~
I've continued to recognize the power individuals have
to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant.
I've learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us,
merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright.
Anthony Robbins
I have divine origins because I am part of my Higher Power. Whether I see my Higher Power as a male, female or neither; no matter if I experience my Higher Power as a Heavenly Parent, a Divine Friend, or a Great Spirit; whether I find my Higher Power in a temple, in the mountains, or in my child's eyes ... I am connected to something greater than myself, my problems, and my fears. The who, what, where, when, and how of my Higher Power are not important. I don't have to completely understand HP because my HP understands me.
I have been endowed with all the things I need to be successful in recovery and in life. All I have to do is step up and claim them. I have intellect, I have emotion, and I have a spirit. All of those things have a direct line to my Higher Power. What I can't yet access is given to me as a gift when I claim my divine birthright by simply saying, "I can't. You can. I think I'll let You." What greater power is there than to give our power to our Higher Power? Knowing when I can't do it alone is a gift!
One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember I come from royalty. I will remember my divine birthright and step up to claim it. Today I will not sell my divine birthright for a mess of pottage.
~ Sandee ~
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AA 'Big Book' - Quote
The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that! - Pg. 153 - A Vision For You
Hour To Hour - Book - Quote
You are allowed to use a concept of God to rant and rave at, to vent frustrations. If you believe in a Higher Power or you don't, it doesn't matter. If you rant at god and there is none, no harm done. IF you rant at god and God exists, no harm done. A loving God understands and absorbs your pain. This is better then ranting at those around you, who may not care to absorb your pain!
I vent my frustrations toward a Universal Intelligence, not others who may be unable to bear my suffering.
Silver Linings
I search for silver linings, for the deeper meaning of events in my life. I will look for the lesson. When life offers up its inevitable challenges, I will try to understand what I am meant to see that I am not seeing, what I am meant to hear that I am not hearing. There is always a silver lining if I look for it. Even if I don't see it readily, I trust that it is there and that it will reveal itself to me over time. Life isn't simple. One of the ways that I can have a better experience is to see what is positive, about a given situation, to look for the silver lining. I can grow in joy and in pain. It doesn't need to be one or the other because pain can transform into joy. It can be the fire that clears the the field for new and tender growth.
There is always a silver lining
- Tian Dayton PhD
Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote
'Smile facts: It is 2.5 times easier to smile than to frown. It takes 43 muscles to frown, but only 17 to smile. Smiling stimulates our nervous system to produce 'cerebral morphine.' This hormone give us a pleasant feeling and it has an anesthetic effect. ~Karlynn Baker Scharlau, A Thoughtful Moment
When I meet someone today who isn't wearing a smile, I give them mine.
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book
From Narcotic's Obvious to Narcotic's Anonymous.
Time for Joy - Book - Quote
Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment.
Alkiespeak - Book - Quote
I hate 12 Step calls. I complain all the way to the house.. I hate every minute of it. Until the door opens and I look in the eyes and see the pain, the fear, the degradation and the incomprehensible demoralization. I see what was in my eyes when I walked through the doors of AA. And I look in the eyes and it becomes the greatest gift you've ever given me; the ability to give a little bit of my dark, sleazy past and turn it into the greatest gift that I have to give to another human being. - Patti O.
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AA Thought for the Day
April 23
Step Four
"Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves."
Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover
what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. . .
Without a willing and persistent effort to do this,
there can be little sobriety or contentment for us.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 42-43
Thought to Ponder . . .
I am responsible for the effort -- not the outcome.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
W H O = Willingness, Honesty, Open-mindedness.
~*~A.A. Thoughts For The Day~*~
Gratitude
"One exercise that I practice
is to try for a full inventory of my blessings
and then for a right acceptance
of the many gifts that are mine--
both temporal and spiritual.
Here I try to achieve a state of joyful gratitude.
When such a brand of gratitude
is repeatedly affirmed and pondered,
it can finally displace the natural tendency to
congratulate myself on whatever progress
I may have been enabled to make
in certain areas of living.
I try hard to hold fast to the truth
that a full and thankful heart
cannot entertain great conceits.
When brimming with gratitude,
one's heartbeat must surely result
in outgoing love,
the finest emotion that we can ever know."
Bill W., Box 1980: The AA Grapevine, March 1962
As Bill Sees It, p. 37
Thought to Consider . . .
It's a pity we can't forget our troubles
the same way we forget our blessings.
*~*~*AACRONYMS*~*~*
GIFTS
Getting It From The Steps
*~*~*~*~*^Just For Today!^*~*~*~*~*
Progress
From "Gutter Bravado":
"Still very impatient, I wanted the whole deal right away. That's why I related so well to the story about a wide-eyed new
person and an oldtimer. When the newcomer approached the oldtimer, envying his accomplishments and many years
of sobriety, the oldtimer slapped down his hand like a gavel and said, 'I'll trade you even! My thirty years to your thirty
days right now!' He knew what the newcomer had yet to find out: that true happiness is found in the journey, not the destination."
2001 AAWS, Inc., Fourth Edition; Alcoholics Anonymous, pgs. 510-11
*~*~*~*~*^ Grapevine Quote ^*~*~*~*~*
"Love mediates faith to others -- by caring what happens to them, by patience, by persistence, by humor."
Rev. Samuel Shoemaker, Friend of AA, September 1948
"And So from My Heart I Say"
AA Grapevine
~*~*~*~*^ Big Book & Twelve N' Twelve Quotes of the Day ^*~*~*~*~*
"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to
Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give
freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the
Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you
trudge the Road of Happy Destiny."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 164
"...we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved,
there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of
spiritual tools laid at our feet."
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, Page 25~
We shall look for progress, not for perfection.
-Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions p. 91
Misc. AA Literature - Quote
To Be Fair-Minded
Too often, I think, we have deprecated and even derided projects of our friends in the field of alcoholism just because
we do not always see eye to eye with them.
We should very seriously ask ourselves how many alcoholics have gone on drinking simply because we have failed to
cooperate in good spirit with these many agencies--whether they be good, bad, or indifferent. No alcoholic should go
mad or die merely because he did not come straight to A.A. at the beginning.
Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top-priority rating. When we speak or act
hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot.
1. GRAPEVINE, JULY 1965
2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 91
Prayer For The Day: Dear Lord, allow me to help others and show them kindness. Help me not to take things personally and show kindness even when I am not shown kindness in return.
Ask and you shall receive,
Seek and ye shall find,
Knock and it shall be opened unto you.
Matthew 7:7