Daily Practice - February

[bluidkiti]

February 1

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 92-93-
Ch- 7 Working With Others:
Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic. If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. Even though your protege may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.

-Tom- after Doing Steps 1-11 and reading the Directions for for Step 12, my sponsor said, because the BB said, it’s time to start taking other men through the steps, That is the 12th step. I said yeah, ok. I was afraid to sponsor guys, I thought I would hurt them more than help them, so I avoided it, and my sponsor knew what I was doing. So, he told me I was to share in every meeting and after the meeting go and spend time talking to newcomers. He knew I had what they needed; A Solution to untreated alcoholism, working knowledge of the 12 Steps and the BB. Eventually someone would ask me to sponsor them, I did, then my life really began to change.
I learned how to Love and take of my Family by first learning to love and take care of my Prospects.
Today I pray that I remember I must practice Steps 1 through 12 if I wish to remain Sober, Happy, Joyous and Free.

[bluidkiti]

February 2

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 84-85-
Ch 6- Into Action:
(Some of the 10th Step Promises)
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality-safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

-Tom- After Doing Steps 1 through 8 and all the amends I could in my 9th Step, my Sponsor and I read this paragraph together. As we read, he kept stopping and asking me, “is this true in your Life, Yes or no?” To my surprise, my answer was and is , yes.
In the 2nd Step I owned my insanity: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
After fully doing Steps 1-10, to the best of my ability, I received The Miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in the 10th Step Promise: “For by this time sanity will have returned.”
This was a Gift given to me by focusing on doing the work of each step. However there is a hook at the end: “That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
My job is to do the Work and leave the outcome of the Work to my Higher Power.
Today I pray that I remember that I can’t stay sober today, off of yesterday’s work.

[bluidkiti]

February 3

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 73-
Ch 6- Into Action:
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.
The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension-that makes for more drinking.

-Tom- before AA, at times when I was not drinking, I was a fairly decent person. Little rough around the edges but not too bad. I presented an image, to the outside world, I thought was pretty good and generally who I wanted to be. I did a lot of good things.
Inside my mind though, it sounded like this “they really wouldn’t love you if they knew you, you really are a piece of **** and don’t deserve anything good, you know this is just a show, you know you are going to screw this all up again, you know this isn’t true.......etc.
Then when I drank...the inside became the outside and all Hell would break loose.
Those 2 paragraphs describe my living Hell that is defined as: untreated Alcoholism.
Thank God we have a treatment for untreated alcoholism. It is called The Program and The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I pray that today I have the Courage to follow the treatment Programming of the 12 Steps and utilize The Power of The Fellowship, in my life.

[bluidkiti]

February 4

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 94-
Ch 7- Working With Others:
Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. Make it clear that he is not under any pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding,
you have perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hopeless he feels, the better. He will be more likely to follow your suggestions.

-Tom- One of the first questions my sponsor asked was “Do you want to feel better or do better?” Before I could answer him he said “your answer better be, you want to do better. Because you have been trying to feel better your whole life and look where that has gotten you.”
Ultimately, doing better is the Path to feeling better, not the other way around.
I can ask myself, am I really carrying the Message of AA to the new man, one on one?
If your answer is yes, then Continue to give that which was freely given to you and reap the rewards of those actions.
If your answer is no, then start today by taking the time and talking to a newcomer after the meeting.
I pray that today I remember what my sponsor said to me when I asked him
“ how could I ever repay you for all you have done for me?” He said,
“Give what I gave to you, to the next man in need”

[bluidkiti]

February 5

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 67-68-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Notice the word “fear” is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble.
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

-Tom- When I reviewed my fears in my 4th step inventory, I saw that I had been afraid my entire life. Some of my fears were legitimate, some were self created circumstances, some just in my head.
I didn’t like feeling afraid, so I turned it into anger and then into violence and then you would be afraid of me. So that was how I addressed fear prior to AA.
I can ask myself “what is my life and decisions driven by today, fear or love?”
If your answer is fear, then put them on paper and review them, through the process of the 4th Step, then Continue all the way to 12.
If your answer is Love, then Continue doing 10,11,12, living in the Solution, and giving freely of what you find.
I pray that today I remember, I may not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds it.

[bluidkiti]

February 6

Practice of the day-
BB pg 93-
Ch 7- Working With Others:
When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don’t raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.

-Tom- The AA practice of me developing my own conception of my Higher Power and being willing to believe in that Power, was and is the cornerstone of my sobriety. You don’t get to tell me who my God is, I get to tell you who my God is.
My sponsor taught me that AA is in the business of saving lives. Once our lives are saved from alcoholic death, then it’s up to me to choose how My Soul is saved. There are places for each, do not be confused. Keep it simple and practical.
I was taught to not talk about steps in church and don’t talk about church in AA. That just makes common sense doesn’t it? I had to learn to Be where I was and enjoy what was being offered where ever I was and if I didn’t like it to leave. Simple.
I pray that today I remember where I can find God; Within me, in the Now, where ever I am

[bluidkiti]

February 7

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 44-45-
Ch 4- We Agnostics:
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. It’s main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem...........

-Tom- after reading those paragraphs with my sponsor he asked me, “is it obvious to you that you need to find a Power greater than yourself in order to live?” I thought about it, to me it was a silly question because I had burned my life into the ground and destroyed the only people that I truly Loved, trying my best, on my own power. I said yes, it is obvious to me. He said ok, good, let’s keep reading.
I can ask myself, is it obvious to me that I need a Power Greater than myself, in order to Live. If the answer is yes, then Continue practicing the rest of the 12 steps. If the answer is no, then call your sponsor, that will begin the process.
I pray that today I realize the only problem in my life is staying connected to My Higher Power, then He solves my problems.

[bluidkiti]

February 8

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 86-
Ch 6-Into Action:
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

-Tom- This is the nightly inventory of the 11th Step. It is also a nightly After Action Review of how I lived, felt, thought and behaved during the day. It is one of the most incredible Tools in the steps that is the least used by many, especially those with years of sobriety.
We are taught to Trust in God, clean house and help others. This nightly inventory keeps my house clean, without it, I get messy.
Early in Sobriety, after going through the Steps with my sponsor , practicing 10,11, 12. My sponsor asked me if I had been doing my 11th step. I said, yes, I have been praying and living Spiritually. He said, “that’s great, but that is not what I asked you”. I thought uh oh, I’m in trouble and don’t know why. He said doing the 11th step is just like the rest of the steps . Follow the ****ing directions for the 11th step out of the BB every night and every morning. He said to remember how far my “good ideas” got me before because they will get me there again, no matter how long I have been sober.
I can ask myself, am I practicing the 11th step nightly inventory out of BB. If your answer is yes, then Continue. If your answer is no, well, remember where your good ideas got you before because you are headed in that direction.
I pray that today I am Given the ability to Keep it Simple and just follow GoodOrderlyDirection

[bluidkiti]

February 9

Practice of the Day-
BB pg xxx, xxxi-
Ch-The Doctors Opinion:
This immediately precipitates us into a seething cauldron of debate. Much has been written pro and con, but among physicians, the general opinion seems to be that most chronic alcoholics are doomed.
What is the solution? Perhaps I can best answer this by relating one of my experiences.
About one year prior to this experience a man was brought in to be treated for chronic alcoholism. He had but partially recovered from a gastric hemorrhage and seemed to be a case of pathological mental deterioration. He had lost everything worth while in life and was only living, one might say, to drink. He frankly admitted and believed that for him there was no hope. Following the elimination of alcohol, there was found to be no permanent brain injury. He accepted the plan outlined in this book.
One year later he called to see me, and I experienced a very strange sensation. I knew the man by name, and partly recognized his features, but there all resemblance ended. From a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance and contentment. I talked with him for some time, but was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before. To me he was a stranger, and so he left me. A long time has past with no return to alcohol.

-Tom- The first part of the 12th step says “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps...”
That means that if I do the steps 1-12, I am guaranteed to have a spiritual awakening sufficient to recover from alcoholism and drug addiction. If I don’t do them, steps 1-12, I will not.
Early in my relationship with my sponsor he told me there is only one thing I had to do. I said great, only one thing, what is it? He said “change your whole ****ing life”. I said I had been trying to do that and it hasn’t worked. He said well, let’s do these steps and see what happens.
I did/do the steps, 1-12 and my whole life changed. I didn’t change me, doing the steps changed me, and for that I am Eternally Grateful and will Continue, one day at a time,
With My Last Breath.
I pray that today I hear the cry of those in need and answer their call.

[bluidkiti]

February 10

Practice of the Day
BB pg XVii-
Foreword To Second Edition:

Hence the two men set to work almost frantically upon alcoholics arriving in the ward of the Akron City Hospital. Their very first case, a desperate one, recovered immediately and became A.A. number three. He never had another drink. This work at Akron continued through the summer of 1935. There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success. When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first A.A. group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time.

A second small group promptly took shape at New York, to be followed in 1937 with the start of a third at Cleveland. Besides these, there were scattered alcoholics who had picked up the basic ideas in Akron or New York who were trying to form groups in other cities. By late 1937, the number of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic.

-Tom- All my life I have wanted to be a “part of” something cool, powerful, bad ass and actual meant something.

The things that stopped me were: I wasn’t really qualified, I never felt a part of even when I tried to be in the group or the thought “if they really knew me, they wouldn’t want me around”. All that **** would not allow me to fully integrate into anything.

In AA, other than the negative “feelings” I would have at times, I found my Team.

I met the qualifications of being a real alcoholic/addict, I met the qualifications of being in recovery because I had a sponsor- was going through the Steps out of the BB with him and I participated in meetings regularly.
Also, when I told y’all my story and said exactly who I was and what I had done, you loved me even more.

Just like the paragraph above said “...a new Light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic” - that Light was y’all and the dark world of the alcoholic, was me.

I pray that today I may be Given the privilege of Being the Light to another alcoholic that is still in the dark world of untreated alcoholism and drug addiction

[bluidkiti]

February 11

Practice of the Day-
BB pg-84-
Ch -6- Into Action:
This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.

-Tom- my Sponsor and I spent a lot of time on this one paragraph. It contains the directions for how to live my Life once I finish with my 11th Step “upon awakening.....” .He told me many people think they know what the 10th Step means but there are actually 4 action items in this Step.
The 10th step, on the wall reads:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
However, as with all the Steps, there are more directions on how to actually do them.
Notice it says “when” these crop up, not “if”;
Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
When these occur, here are the actions within the 10th Step, it says to do:
1. Ask my God, at once to remove them
2. Discuss with someone immediately
3. Make amends quickly, if I have harmed someone
4. Resolutely turn my thoughts to someone we can help.
Cleaning my House is one thing (Steps 4 through 9)
Keeping it clean is another (Steps 10-11)
Today I pray that I continue to grow and learn in the Basics of our Design for Living.

[bluidkiti]

February 12

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 55-
Ch 4- We Agnostics
We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us.
We can only clear the ground a bit. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.

-Tom- for me, these are 2 of the most Powerful paragraphs in the BB.
They talk about the one place, I had never looked, to find My Higher Power:
Within myself.
My motivation was that I wanted to join them “on the Broad Highway “ stay sober and live differently.
However there are listed requirements I had to commit to:
-sweep away prejudice
-think honestly
-search diligently within myself
But they promised:
With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.
So I gave it a whole Hearted shot, and it worked. The consciousness of My Belief came to me for the first time in my Life.
Today I pray that I am given the Willingness to put in the Work, my sobriety requires.

[bluidkiti]

February 13

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 21
Ch 2-There is a Solution:
Here is the fellow that has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously
anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees........

-Tom- my sponsor would often stop and ask me if I could relate to the what we read. He said it was very important because if I could not relate to what we were reading and talking about, why would I continue?
Another reason why it is important for me to relate is because I suffer from
Terminal Uniqueness.
Terminal Uniqueness requires that I cannot relate to anyone and no one or nothing can relate to me. It sounds like this “you don’t know me, you don’t understand what I’ve been through, this will never work, you just don’t get it, I am different, my issues are different than yours, I’m just too damaged.......etc”
All my life, I had looked for the “differences”, and I found them.
Sobriety taught me to discard the differences and look for the “similarities”, and I found them.
Whatever I am “looking for”, I will find.
I pray that today I look for similarities and not just pick out the differences.

[bluidkiti]

February 14

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.
I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.
What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others.

[bluidkiti]

February 15

Practice for the day-
BB pg 62-63,
Ch 5- How it Works:
(some of the 3rd step promises)
“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
We were reborn.”

Tom- I can look at these promises and ask myself “are these occurring in my Life, right now?” If the answer is yes, then I Continue. If the answer is no, then I must stop and
re-position myself, do some work on me and my attitude, then Continue.
Salvation is Free, Sobriety is not- it must be worked for on a daily basis.
Today I pray for the Strength to Do my work in AA

[bluidkiti]

February 16

Practice of the day-
BB pg 164
Ch-A Vision For You:
Still you may say: “But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book.” We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.*
Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

-Tom- at certain times in my Path of Sobriety, they were very lonely and the fear of not being able to stay sober long term hovered in the corners of my mind. I held the words in these paragraphs close to my Heart and Continued to Trudge and chose blind faith that they were true. Through TIME ;
T- things
I- I
M- must
E- earn
I experienced that every word was true.
I have experienced great events for me and countless others, that brought me Joy. All I have to do is make sure my Relationship with My Higher Power is in order and follow Directions.
I can ask myself, “is my relationship Right between me and my Higher Power?”
If the answer is yes, then I Continue moving down my Path.
If the answer is no, or I don’t know, then I need to stop, write a Gratitude list, talk with my sponsor and get it right.
I pray that just for today, I keep it Simple and do The Deal

[bluidkiti]

February 17

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 86-
Ch- Into Action:
On awakening let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ or mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

-Tom- this is some of the morning directions for the 11th step. It is important to actually have done all the Work in steps 1-10 to receive and obtain the full benefits of this step.
It is only here, in the 11th that I am actually given permission to think again.
Steps 1-10 just give me precise clear cut instructions on what actions to take.
Many members, especially those that have been sober a bit, just start doing what they think is best now that they have been sober a while.
When the Gift of Desperation is gone, Discipline must show up, or Desperation will return.
I am Grateful that there is no scorecard, test to take, or deep understandings to decipher. I just have to continue to follow the Good Orderly Directions of the step I am on.
I can ask myself “am I following the directions for the 11th step out of the BB?”
If the answer is yes, then I can Continue.
If the answer is no, then stop and do it. Unless you are unwilling, that’s a 1st Step issue.
(Upon awakening only takes 6 minutes in case you were wondering how to fit this practice into your busy schedule)
I pray that today I just follow the directions and don’t buy into how smart I think I am.

[bluidkiti]

February 18

Practice of the Day-
-AA Responsibility Statement:
I am responsible...When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that:
I am Responsible.

-Tom- After I had been working with my sponsor for a week or so, one day he said “tell me what you are Grateful for” I said I had nothing to be grateful for, all I ever cared about in my life is gone. He said, well that’s a problem. I said, I agree. He said well there is always one thing you can be grateful for Tom. I said, oh really, so what is that? He said “ you can always be forever Grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous, because no one else would have your sorry a$$”
I wanted to punch him in the face, but I didn’t because it was True.
Before AA, there was only a Living Hell, jails, Institutions and Death if you were an alcoholic/addict. That was it. There was no recovery option.
I often think about, what if there was no one ready and willing to grab my hand when I finally reached out for help? I know the answer, jails, institutions, death and a living Hell.
My Higher Power and my Willingness to Do AA saved my Life, but I couldn’t have done it without my sponsor, I know that. I asked him one day, “how can I ever repay you for all you have taught me and all you have done for me?” He smiled and said “give to the next man, what I gave to you. That is the only way you can repay me”
If you are attempting to grab the hands that are reaching for help in AA, then you are on track for what was done for you. Continue.
If you are not, I suggest you re read the section above.
Today I pray that I Remember what was Freely Given to me, so that I will do same for another.

[bluidkiti]

February 19

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 93-
Ch-7- Working With Others:
.Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.
When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don't raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.

-Tom- For me, I will be Forever Grateful that my Sponsor followed these 2 paragraphs in “working with others” when he was working with me. He was following the directions in the BB and so was I. It’s called the dumb guy approach, just do what the book says to do, when it says to do it.
My sponsor was/is a Christian. He follows the teachings of Jesus Christ and went to church. However he Never imparted his beliefs onto me, he said, like the book said, I had to find my own God. The God of the Hopeless alcoholic that would help me personally.
The reason why that was important was my head was full of all kinds of prejudice, false information and failed attempts of connecting with God. For me, just mentioning theological terms brought up an emotional fury and I would shut down without even trying to.
My sponsor said let’s approach this from a practical sense: don’t talk about AA in church and don’t talk about church in AA. Practice being where you are not bringing one into the other. Keep it simple and enjoy both.
I pray that today I have the ability to keep it simple, be where I am, allow others to be where they are and enjoy all that Sobriety has Given me.

[bluidkiti]

February 20

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 101-102
Ch- Working With Others:
So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings and plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

-Tom- it is most important to note where this information is contained in the process. These are part of the directions for the 12th step, which means that I have completed my 9th step and attempting to live 10,11, 12, on a daily basis.
In early sobriety I was too afraid to walk into the gas station to buy Copenhagen because I had never walked by a beer cooler without getting some. Later in my sobriety I would find myself sitting in crack house that had drugs, booze and guns, reading the BB with a sponsee in a rough spot. Following the directions in the above paragraphs and double checking with my sponsor.
The point is that if I follow the directions of the 12 steps and information in the BB, I can walk this earth a Free man. That is what I always wanted and still desire most, Freedom. That is why I got Sober, to Live Free.
Today I pray that I live the Life my God wants me to Live: Happy, Joyous and Free

[bluidkiti]

February 21

Practice of the Day-
BB-pg 11-
Ch-1- Bill’s Story:
The wars which had been fought, the burnings and chicanery that religious dispute had facilitated, made me sick. I honestly doubted whether, on balance, the religions of mankind had done any good. Judging from what I had seen in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest. If there was a Devil, he seemed the Boss Universal, and he certainly had me.
But my friend sat before me, and he made the point-blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had, in effect, been raised from the dead, suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known!
Had this power originated in him? Obviously it had not. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at the minute; and this was none at all.

-Tom- I still remember the first time I ever read those paragraphs. It had such an impact on me because I could completely relate mentally and emotionally, with experiences I had in combat and just horrible living.
Then I could also relate to the other part because I had pipe hitting WWII, Korea and Vietnam vets sitting in front of me who had been sober for years.
I listened when they shared what it was like, what happened and what it was like now. It was real and they were real and I could not evade the fact that if they could do it, I could to.
I only had to be Willing to do The Work and follow directions. Then, I might have what they had, Sobriety.
I pray that today I remember what it was like when I was hopeless and Grateful I am not there anymore.

[bluidkiti]

February 22

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 25-
Ch-2- There Is A Solution:
There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.

-Tom- When I first met up with my sponsor he said to me “there is only one thing that you have to to change”
I said that’s great, what is the one thing I have to change?
He said “your whole Life”.
I said at times I had tried to do that and it never worked.
He said, “me too. How about we just follow these directions and see what happens?” I said, ok, I don’t have anything more to lose.
That first paragraph has a lot of hard core courageous stuff in it. Sounds like a lot more than just staying dry, going to meetings and hanging out with sober people.
Today I pray that I am Given the Courage and Willingness to follow the Directions of the Steps.

[bluidkiti]

February 23

Daily Practice
Big Book pg 84-85-
Ch 6- Into Action:
(Some of the 10th Step Promises)
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality-safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

-Tom- After Doing Steps 1 through 8 and all the amends I could in my 9th Step, my Sponsor and I read this paragraph together. As we read, he kept stopping and asking me, “is this true in your Life, Yes or no?” To my surprise, my answer was and is , yes.
In the 2nd Step I owned my insanity: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
After fully doing Steps 1-10, to the best of my ability, I received The Miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in the 10th Step Promise: “For by this time sanity will have returned.”
This was a Gift given to me by focusing on doing the work of each step. However there is a hook at the end: “That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
My job is to do the Work and leave the outcome of the Work to my Higher Power.
Today I pray that I remember that I can’t stay sober today, off of yesterday’s work.

[bluidkiti]

February 24

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 16-
Ch 1, Bills Story:
An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. One poor chap committed suicide in my home. He could not or would not see our way of life.
There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men.

-Tom- “an alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature”. For me, that is really churching it up. I was an absolute Monster. I brought to AA nothing but hate, anger, violence, aggressive attitude, rebellion and a bunch more not good stuff.
Y’all took me in and showed me the only thing could penetrate all those walls; human kindness and genuine unconditional Love.
Also, y’all did not accept unacceptable behavior. You didn’t kick me out or abandon me. You said,
”keep coming back” it was constant and baffling to me, and the only thing I did not have a defense against.
It broke me.
You see all the acts we do in AA; sweeping floors, making coffee, giving people rides, listening to someone share, greeting people at the door, cleaning the bathroom at the meeting hall, sponsorship, helping people move, cutting people’s grass, late night talks, etc
All of these and much more, are,
Acts of Love.
In AA, we do Love. We don’t talk about it, think about it or preach about it,
We Do it.
I can ask myself “am I doing acts of Love with those who’s space I occupy?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue to do your acts of Love and enjoy the Happiness and contentment those acts bring.
If your answer is no, then write a Gratitude list and do something for someone without them knowing who did it, and see what that experience feels like.

[bluidkiti]

February 25

Practice of the Day-
-AA Responsibility Statement:
I am responsible...When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that:
I am Responsible.

-Tom- After I had been working with my sponsor for a week or so, one day he said “tell me what you are Grateful for” I said I had nothing to be grateful for, all I ever cared about in my life is gone. He said, well that’s a problem. I said, I agree. He said well there is always one thing you can be grateful for Tom. I said, oh really, so what is that?
He said “ you can always be forever Grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous, because no one else would have your sorry ass”
I wanted to punch him in the face, but I didn’t because it was True.
Before AA, there was only a Living Hell, jails, Institutions and Death if you were an alcoholic/addict. That was it. There was no recovery option.
I often think about, what if there was no one ready and willing to grab my hand when I finally reached out for help?
My Higher Power and my Willingness to Do AA saved my Life, but I couldn’t have done it without my sponsor, I know that.
I asked him one day, “how can I ever repay you for all you have taught me and all you have done for me?” He smiled and said “give to the next man, what I gave to you. That is the only way you can repay me”
If you are attempting to grab the hands that are reaching for help in AA, then you are on track for what was done for you. Continue.
If you are not, I suggest you re read the section above.
Today I pray that I Remember what was Freely Given to me, so that I will do same for another.

[bluidkiti]

February 26

Practice of the day-
BB pg 46-
Ch- We Agnostics:
Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those that seek Him. To us, the Realm of the Spirit is Broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.

-Tom- when I first read that paragraph, it blew my mind. I had never heard anything like that before. Broad roomy, all inclusive, not hard terms, open to all. Never had I heard or thought that. I only heard/thought the opposite: narrow is the gate, if you think about it you may have well as done it, etc.
My sponsor told me to make contact with my Higher power, this is what my first approach sounded like: “ God, I ****ing hate you and you know it. I know you don’t think much of me either, with all I have done and your people I have hurt, but I’m needing to stay sober for sure, can’t do it on my own. Don’t know how we are going to work this out, pretty sure you don’t want to help me and if you don’t , well **** you too. Amen.”
As you can see with my Experience “God does not make to hard terms with those that seek Him”
I can ask myself “does my conception of my Higher Power fit with what I need to be Sober, Happy, Joyous and Free?” If the answer is yes, then Continue onto the 3rd step prayer.
If the answer is no, then stop and write down your own conception of your Higher Power.
AA is a place where a plumber can teach a priest, how to live.
I pray that today I remember how far I have come in my understanding and in conscious contact with My Higher Power.

[bluidkiti]

February 27

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 75,76
Ch- Into Action
Step 6-
Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from the shelf we turn to the page which contains the 12 steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we will walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?
If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all—every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.

-Tom- some steps take a lot of time to do, like 4,9,12. Steps 6 and 7 take one hour and a prayer.
One day in early sobriety (I had been through all the steps and was practicing 10,11,12 about 6 months sober)I sat in an A.A. meeting house writing; identifying and coming up with ways i was going to work on my character defects. For about 2 hours. An old
timer/friend, Pete N, came up and asked me what I was working on. I proudly showed him all my work and my plans. He said wow that’s a lot of work, I smiled and said thank you.
Then he said, “now Tom what I want you to do is throw all that waist of time in the garbage on your way to your truck.
Miss Mary still needs her grass cut, 5th steps need to be received out at the Colony and you need to speak at the prison tonight. Why don’t you try trusting in God, cleaning house and helping others first. Now get out of there and Live sober instead of pretending to be.”
I told him he was such an asshole, slammed the door on my way out, did what he said to do, and learned a lesson of a Lifetime, doing sober actions is what makes me sober.
I pray that today I have the Willingness to do sober actions.

[bluidkiti]

February 28

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 151-152-
Ch 11- A Vision For You:
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.

-Tom- My sponsor explained to me that Sobriety, AA and the 12 Steps were serious business. If I was not serious about getting sober, don’t waist my time or his with some half ass effort. He asked me if I could relate to that paragraph? I said yes.
At 62 days without drinking, only going to meetings and reading the BB by myself, I made it to my jumping-off place.
I truly did not want to drink anymore and I wanted a drink so bad I couldn’t stand it, so I jumped. I jumped 100% and then some, into The Program and Fellowship of AA.
That is the Only reason why, I am Sober today.
I can ask myself “am I happy about my sobriety?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue and help another Alcoholic to achieve sobriety.
If your answer is no, then realize you are in a dangerous spot. Write a Gratitude list, pray to your Higher Power, meet with your sponsor, do some Steps, go to a meeting and help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety. At the end of that, I guarantee you will be happy about your sobriety.
Today I pray for the Strength to practice these Principles in all of my affairs.