Today's Thought - October

[bluidkiti]

October 1

Sharing what worked for us is far better than giving advice.

Everybody loves giving advice, but no one really loves getting it. Advice often sounds like control, and we want to be free to make our own decisions. However, we can appreciate hearing what worked for other people, and we aren’t intimidated by shared experiences. It behooves us to remember this when we are about to give advice to newcomers.

Remembering how it was for us when we first came to meetings will help us know how to approach others who are hurting as we were hurting when we first sought help. Confusion, hopelessness, and fear haunt every newcomer. The way others enfolded us in their hope when we had none made it possible to survive one day at a time. It’s our turn now to pass on that hope to others. The real gift in telling about our experiences rather than giving advice is that we too are strengthened each time we remember how far we have come.

I will be available to help a friend today. My experiences are all I really know, but that’s quite enough.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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October 2

Society … as a rule … forbids any move which might bring human beings closer to each other.

~Jacques Lusseyran

Perhaps we’ve learned that we cannot fix others and have resolved to let go of our codependency, keeping the focus on what we can do to heal our own lives. In the process, we may have forgotten that who we are and what we do touches the lives of others. Detachment doesn’t mean cutting ourselves off from the rest of the human family. It doesn’t mean forgetting that love is an active verb.

We can acknowledge the impact of past actions on others and make amends where appropriate. We may have experience, strength, and hope to offer. By accepting the things we cannot change, we can offer compassion and moral support to the sick or to those seeking to transform their lives.

Today, I take responsibility for my actions toward others. I serve others with love and humility.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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October 3

Healing

Let healing energy flow through your body.

The healing energy of God, the Universe, life, and recovery surrounds us. It is available, waiting for us to draw on it, waiting for us to draw it in. It’s waiting at our meetings or groups, on the words of a whispered prayer, in a gentle touch, a positive word, a positive thought. Healing energy is in the sun, the wind, the rain, in all that is good.

Let healing energy come. Attract it. Accept it. Let it soak in. Breathe in the golden light. Exhale. Let go of fear, anger, hurt, doubt. Let healing energy flow to you, through you.

It is yours for the asking, for the believing.

Today, I will ask for, and accept, the healing energy from God and the Universe. I will let it flow to me, through me, and back out to others. I am part of, and at one with, the continuous cycle of healing.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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October 4

The easiest person to deceive is one’s own self.

~Edward Bulwer-Lytton

How much can we afford to lose? Of all the investments we might make, the most important and riskiest by far are in our personal relationships. Important because such investments put so much of our feelings, sense of self-worth, and serenity on the line. It is risky because the success of the relationship is so dependent on the other person’s willingness and ability to play fair.

No matter how committed we are to making it work, if our partners don’t have or won’t do what it takes—we are out of luck. The quality of a relationship simply cannot be healthier than both of the parties involved.

It isn’t cold or calculating to consider well the implications and ramifications of an important investment. It is fulfilling a primary responsibility to ourselves, to our partners, and to our Higher Power.

Today, I will examine my delusions about myself and the people I love: What’s really going on here?

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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October 5

Out of difficulties grow miracles.

~Jean de la Bruyère

We in recovery know a lot about miracles. We go to meetings and sit among the miracles of our fellow recovering addicts. A meeting is a miracle in progress. Next time we go to a meeting we should take time to study the miracles around us. Where were these people before they received the miracle of sobriety?

We in recovery know the elements that make up a good miracle: willingness, honesty, openness to change, spiritual principles, laughter, tears, Higher Power, fellowship, and large amounts of action. When we throw these elements at our difficulties, miracles happen—sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly. We then are to give thanks for these miracles. Miracles are our Higher Power and others doing for us what we couldn’t do for ourselves. Miracles are gifts given and received. We should ask ourselves, “Am I willing to give up my difficulties—my old ways—and allow myself to be changed into a miracle?”
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, take my problems, issues, and bad attitudes, and use them to make a miracle. Today I will work with you and not against you.
Today's Action

When I go to my next meeting, I will listen to the miracles that surround me and give thanks for the miracle of these changed people.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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October 6

Then through the thunderous silence, we may be able to hear a still, small voice, and words will be born anew.

~Madeleine L’Engle

A recovering addict described his isolation like this: “I used to walk into my apartment at the end of the day and be acutely aware that no one was there. I wanted to cry because I felt so lonely. It never occurred to me that I wasn’t alone—because I was there.”

There’s a difference between being alone and being isolated. Learning how to be alone is a risk, but it’s worth taking. When we are content with what we’re doing, solitude restores us. Looking out the window at a tree or a cloud is productive if it nurtures us.

We find out who we are by spending time alone. It gives us the chance to think, to dream, to talk with our Higher Power. It enables us to know the wonder of who we are. Alone, we can experience self-acceptance, direction, wisdom, and peace. Alone, we can be created anew. But to isolate is to risk self-destruction. Which will it be today?

I will take time for myself today. I need not fear being alone because I never am.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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October 7

Making Progress

Bring the body, the mind will follow.

~Anonymous

Progress is a word of action, but for us it must never be hurried. We are told, “the idea is to make improvement, not finish first at a destination.” There’s no need to rush. We can take time to think about the direction we’re going. Sometimes spiritual progress may seem slow to us, but if we honestly work the program, that progress is sure.

We can also take the time to examine the progress we have made. When we realize how far we have come, it makes it possible for us to continue. Practicing the Eleventh Step will help us slow down and calm our urgent need to always be rushing around.

I must never stand still. Even when I stop and look at my progress, that is an action that gives me the courage to continue.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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October 8

My life is unmanageable whenever I take control.

~Anonymous

A spiritual paradox: When we give up control of our life, we gain it; when we hold on to control, we lose it. This idea goes against the grain. Even in the depths of our addiction, having suffered defeat time after time, we clung desperately to the idea that we were still in control, that we were still self-sufficient. When at last we saw the unmanageability of our life and surrendered to a Higher Power, we discovered that control was restored and life manageable.

The choice is always ours. We can lose control anytime we decide to run things. Or we can maintain control of our life by making a daily decision to turn it over to God.

Today I ask for the manageability that comes only from giving up control.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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October 9

Most of us spend our energy seeking the highs in an effort to avoid the lows. Unfortunately, these false highs are not really nourishing.

~Niro Asistent

Emotional highs energize us. All of us experience them. Most of us crave them, but unfortunately they are short-lived. When external circumstances elevate our mood, their absence brings us back down. Highs like these set us up for disappointment.

Recovery can change this aspect of our lives. Using the Twelve Steps, we are able to experience highs as a natural response to our interior activity. Feeling as good as we want to feel, every day, is possible when we decide to use the Steps: to look to our Higher Power for knowledge of what to do on a daily basis, to seek comfort when we are filled with fear, to receive courage when amends are in order. Our emotions will reflect how consistently we use the Steps. We can be energized by highs every day if we so desire.

I can feel a nourishing high today if I use the tools of the program to guide me.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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October 10

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

~Will Rogers

When we are in the midst of our worst problems, we often behave stubbornly, trying harder to gain control of what is out of control. Because we feel alone, or because we insist on doing things our own way, we repeatedly apply the same solutions that repeatedly produce the same problems. We forget that as human beings we require the help of others to live happy and healthy lives. We need all the help we can get. Without the input and wisdom of others, we are stuck with our limited or mistaken ideas.

Perhaps today we are faced with problems that have no clear solutions. We can’t see an obvious way around them, and we can’t see a new answer. The sooner we accept our true nature and bring others into our questions, the sooner we will be able to consider new ideas and take in the wisdom of our friends.

Today, I resolve to talk to my friends about what is weighing on my mind.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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October 11

AA Thought for the Day

“Who are you to say there is no God? This challenge comes to all of us. Are we capable of denying that there is a design and purpose in all of life as we know it? Or are we willing to admit that faith in some kind of Divine Principle is a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend? We find a Great Reality deep down within us, if we face ourselves as we really are. In the last analysis, it is only there that God may be found. When we find this Reality within us, we are restored to our right minds.” Have I found the Great Reality?
Meditation for the Day

“Behold, I make all things new.” When you change to a new way of life, you leave many things behind you. It is only the earth-bound spirit that cannot soar. Loosen somewhat the strands that tie you to the earth. It is only the earthly desires that bind you. Your new freedom will depend on your ability to rise above earthly things. Clipped wings can grow again. Broken wings can regain a strength and beauty unknown before. If you will, you can be released and free.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be freed from things that hold me down. I pray that my spirit may soar in freedom.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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October 12

No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves today.

~Brendan Francis

We often find ourselves yearning for tomorrow. We get carried away thinking about the next day's big game or camping trip. We find ourselves daydreaming about how much fun we'll have with friends or what animals we'll see in the park.

The next day comes and perhaps the excitement about the game diminishes because our friends can't make it or the camping trip is cancelled because of bad weather. We feel cheated and begin regretting the missed opportunities of yesterday.

When we find ourselves concentrating only on tomorrow, we need to stop and look around. We'll begin to notice the joke a friend is telling, or the bird flying overhead. We will begin appreciating the joys of the moment.

When we live in the moment, we have no expectations about the next moment, and without expectations, we can't be disappointed, only surprised.

What is delightful about this moment right now?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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October 13

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

~Franklin Jones

Before recovery, anger, self-pity, and sadness often filled our hearts. The world went on. We came to hate the ride. In recovery, love fills our hearts. We begin to love life. Love is really caring about what happens to other people.

Love is what makes the ride worth it.

We find much love in our program. People really matter to us. We really matter to others. For many of us, we learn how to love in our meetings. The program teaches love because the program is love.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I’ll welcome love into my heart and others into my life. Love brings me closer to my Higher Power.
Action for the Day

I’ll list all the people I love and why they matter to me.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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October 14

We all carry it within us; supreme strength, the fullness of wisdom, unquenchable joy. It is never thwarted and cannot be destroyed. But it is hidden deep, which is what makes life a problem.

~Huston Smith

How does a man lose touch with his strength, his wisdom, his joy? Perhaps it is in the nature of humanity. Our most profound qualities are hidden deep. They never go away, but we cannot always find them. There may be nothing wrong with ourselves as men when we lose touch. It doesn’t have to mean that we are “bad guys” for getting depressed or for feeling inadequate. Who doesn’t have that problem? It is the nature of life that we sometimes feel this way. This program helps us unearth the resources hidden within us.

When we cannot find those reassuring feelings of strength and wisdom and joy, we may think they are gone forever. We even doubt we ever had them or could have them again. But they are still there. They cannot be destroyed. And when we regain contact we know they have been with us all along.

I will have faith that the innermost places in me can never be destroyed.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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October 15

Being cured

Friends and associates may see us as people who are super-sober: they think we have the problem licked, that we’re cured. They’re uneasy when we say, “I am an alcoholic; I am an addict.” They would prefer us to say, “I was.”

We would like to believe them, but in our hearts we know that it’s not possible for us to drink or use any longer. By saying we are addicted, we remind ourselves of who we are and where we came from.

Am I grateful for being sober, even though I can never be cured?

Higher Power, grant me the acceptance to understand that I am not cured. Relieve my temptation to believe those well-meaning people who are convinced that I am no longer an addict.

Today I will enjoy being clean and sober by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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October 16

Military Tools versus Sobriety Tools

The military taught me to anticipate problems, to react, and to solve problems. But with recovery, it wasn’t a slam dunk. Getting sober is complicated.

I graduated from West Point. As time goes on, I’ve noticed that I’m not the only person from my alma mater who has struggled with addiction. There are many who have fought an arduous battle with alcohol or other substances.

Even though the military teaches us how to solve problems, addiction is often more difficult to solve and requires different tools than the ones we get from military training.

But there are always people around who have gotten this recovery thing. Instead of using military tools, we can look around us and get help from those who have gotten sober—who have gained new tools from living a life without alcohol. I needed help from someone who had been in the same addiction battle that I was in at that moment.

Reaching out to fellow addiction survivors gives me the tools to embrace a sober life.

~Terry F., U.S. Army, 1986–1994

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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October 17

Reflection for the Day

My progress in recovery depends in large measure on my attitude, and my attitude is up to me. It’s the way I decide to look at things. Nobody can force an attitude on me. For me, a good attitude is a point of view unclouded by self-pity and resentments. There will be stumbling blocks in my path, without a doubt. But the program has taught me that stumbling blocks can be turned into stepping-stones for growth. Do I believe, as Tennyson put it, “that men may rise on stepping-stones of their dead selves to higher things”?
Today I Pray

May my Higher Power help me cultivate a healthy attitude toward myself, the program, and other people. Higher Power, keep me from losing my spiritual stabilizers, which keep me level in purpose and outlook. Let me ignore self-pity, discouragement, and my tendency to overdramatize. Let no dead-weight burden throw me out of balance.
Today I Will Remember

I can’t be discouraged with my Higher Power on my side.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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October 18

Anger doesn’t win battles.

It’s common to be angry by the time we discover Al-Anon or other Twelve Step programs for family members. We tried everything imaginable to get other people to stop their destructive behavior. We failed but all along felt certain we were right.

Now we’re learning that we can’t possibly know what’s right for someone else. Other people’s paths are being defined by them and their Higher Power; our path is being defined by us and our Higher Power. The program is helping us to make this distinction and focus solely on our path.

We don’t shed our anger overnight, but the stories others tell at meetings give us new perspective and ultimately a willingness to consider giving it up. We are coming to understand how unproductive anger is. It has kept us from pursuing far more worthy goals.

If I begin to feel angry today, I’ll remember that it helps no one and actually harms me. I’ll give it up.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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October 19

If you assume that there’s no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope.

~Noam Chomsky

At times our prospects look bleak. Whether what concerns us is a loved one’s health, a work problem, or conflict in a relationship, we may be convinced that the future will bring only disappointment.

What we’ve forgotten is that we’ve already survived many of life’s ups and downs. We’ve lived through some of our worst times and now can use our experience to gain a new perspective.

Surprisingly often, life rewards us with more good than we expected. Even loss and grief are followed in time by the opening of our hearts, gratitude for what we’ve been privileged to experience, and pleasure in renewed aliveness. All we need concern ourselves with is this day. Though we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, we can trust that our Higher Power and the process of life itself have gifts in store for us, if we’re open to them.

Today, hope illuminates my day.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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October 20

I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people’s lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.

~Anonymous

We each have a life to live, one that has purpose and meaning. We can help our Higher Power give direction and purpose to our life by setting goals.

We can set goals annually, monthly, or daily in times of crisis. Goals create direction and pace; goals help us achieve a manageable life that is directed in the course we choose for ourselves.

We can help give our lives direction by setting goals.

Today, I will pay attention to setting a course of action for my life, rather than letting others control my life and affairs.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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October 21

The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong.

~From Ecclesiastes 9:11

Overwhelming firepower doesn’t win most battles—especially battles of the inner kind—but patience and persistence do.

We adult children have many battles to fight. Battles with negative thinking, codependency, fear of abandonment, shame, and guilt. We often feel weak, unsure, and powerless against such terrifying and constant forces.

When we think we can’t put up a fight one more day, we need to remember that we learned these attitudes one day at a time, event by event, thought by thought. And that’s the only way we can beat them—one blow at a time.

Patience and persistence must be our secret weapons. Homely and undramatic as they are, these two inner soldiers will advance the struggle far more than an exhausting frontal assault that may rage momentarily and then die out.

I am confident that patience and persistence will win out in the long run. And I am grateful for that insight.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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October 22

It is greed to do all the talking and not to want to listen at all.

~Democritus

Sometimes at meetings, we see people who are in love with their own voice. They smile as they quote sayings and pages. We see them being happy at how clever and smart they are. This is life. This is ego, and as the above quote says, it is greed. They may be taking time away from the newcomer who needs to speak and whom we need to hear.

Ours is more of a program of listening than talking. We always need to be listening to the newly sober. It is their stories, pain, and fears that need to be heard. Their speaking helps them heal and reminds older members to be grateful and not greedy. We can’t afford to become smug and self-righteous. All of us are just one drink or pill away from relapse. We should ask ourselves, “Am I someone who enjoys listening to the newcomers or just someone who enjoys listening to my own voice?”
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, open my ears and my heart, especially to the newcomer. Help me to be of service to others, sometimes just by listening.
Today's Action

Today I will go to my meeting and ask the newest member to tell me his or her story. Then I will listen and learn.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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October 23

Kindness it is that brings forth kindness always.

~Sophocles

Why are people sharp with me? Why does everyone look gloomy today? What’s wrong with the world?

Why do we blame the world when we are out of sorts? Life, after all, is neutral. It is our moods and attitudes that affect our view of things and the responses we receive. If we are seeing life through the dark glasses of melancholy, then we can’t blame the world for seeming grim.

When we are at ease with ourselves and feel at home in our lives, other people will seem friendly and serene. A smile will prompt a smile; a greeting will bring a friendly response. And when I am considerate with my neighbor, it sets good deeds in motion. Kindness, like laughter, is contagious.

I really do believe that kindness and love make the world a brighter, better place.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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October 24

Optimism

The program works if you want it to work.

~Anonymous

Rarely do climbers stare up to see how far away the top still is. Instead, when they rest, they look down toward the starting point of their journey. The view they see assures them that they have already come a long, long way.

Like the climbers, we need to keep our eyes on where we are and where we’ve been, not on where we’re going. When we become discouraged with the progress of our recovery, we only need to look back over how far we have come. The rewarding “view” gives us courage to continue. Many of us recall times when we lived without hope and the sense of impending doom. Now we look forward to life with confidence.

Today I will remember to face my climb with optimism. Even if my progress sometimes seems slow to me, it’s still a long way from where I once was.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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October 25

The heretic is a man who loves his truth more than truth itself. He prefers the half-truth that he has found to the whole truth which humanity has found.

~G. K. Chesterton

Newcomers to our program often find it wanting in some respect; they feel obligated to point out our errors and rewrite our literature. Such efforts are greeted indulgently by old-timers. Newcomers tend to become more tolerant as time passes and they see what the program does for them. “It works if you work it.”

The spiritual principles of our program have withstood the test of time. The help we get from our Higher Power never changes.

I can have confidence in our spiritual principles because they have worked for millions.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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October 26

There is no healing without forgiveness. I love the peace I feel with forgiveness.

~Helen Casey

The program is helping us understand that when we feel resentful or angry, we are hindering our own recovery as well as our Higher Power’s plan for us. We cannot receive God’s full message if we are trapped by our hateful feelings.

Why would we want to continue our agitation toward someone else, particularly when it means we can feel no peace? The answer lies in our struggle to be “right” in every situation. Being right rather than peaceful remains too important to us. But observing women who are serene will enlighten us about the possibilities for change the program promises. These possibilities can be ours if we change our attitude, develop the willingness to let go of past hurts, and live in a forgiving present.

It may sound difficult to live in a forgiving present, but it’s not. We make the decision and then ask God to help us. Our hearts will heal and our resentments will be gone. Peace can become our permanent companion.

Serenity is my goal today; forgiveness of others is the way I can achieve my goal.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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October 27

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.

~Doug Larson

We win admiration for work, achievement, and competitiveness. We are told that a good man is a good provider. These are external rewards, but the rewards of relaxing, of rest and quiet solitude, of recreation are not external. We feel those rewards internally. They are the rewards of personal growth. Work addiction is a tempting mistake for us recovering men. We had big problems in the past, and it feels wonderful to know that we can be competent in our work. We lived in crisis, and our lives were out of control. That memory can haunt us for a lifetime, so work may now provide a welcome structure. But too much work can be another distraction from the important things.

Sometimes we may need to schedule some free time with our families and with our friends, time simply for loafing. Taking a half hour each day for quiet thought and reflection, with no external sign of accomplishment, helps us to become better men.

Today, I will lighten my focus on work and make time for play.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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October 28

AA Thought for the Day

“Be careful not to brand new prospects as alcoholics. Let them draw their own conclusion. But talk to them about the hopelessness of alcoholism. Tell them exactly what happened to you and how you recovered. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If they are agnostics or atheists, make it emphatic that they do not have to agree with your conception of God. They can choose any conception they like, provided it makes sense to them. The main thing is that they be willing to believe in a Power greater than themselves and that they live by spiritual principles.” Do I hold back too much in speaking of the spiritual principles of the program?
Meditation for the Day

“I will never leave nor forsake thee.” Down through the centuries, thousands have believed in God’s constant, untiring, and unfailing love. God has love. Then forever you are sure of His love. God has power. Then forever you are sure, in every difficulty and temptation, of His strength. God has patience. Then always there is One who can never tire. God has understanding. Then always you will understand and be understood. Unless you want Him to go, God will never leave you. He is always ready with power.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may feel that God’s love will never fail. I pray that I may have confidence in His unfailing power.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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October 29

Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.

~Søren Kirkegaard

Once, in a small village, there was a huge fire. The blaze spread and several homes and businesses were burned to the ground. After a long while, the fire was brought under control and put out. Villagers banded together to rebuild their town, but one quite persistent young man insisted on searching the rubble for the cause of the fire. Impatient townspeople scolded him, saying, "Why waste time searching for causes? Knowing them won't put out the blaze or repair the damage." "I know," replied the young man, "but knowing why might prevent other fires."

Sometimes we have to look at painful past experiences in order to prevent their recurrence. When we understand ourselves better, we can move beyond the past and walk toward the future with surer, safer steps.

How well can I use my past today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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October 30

A liar needs a good memory.

~Quintilian

Many of us wasted a lot of energy trying to keep track of whom we had told what. For example, we’d tell our boss one story and our family another. Then we’d work hard to make sure they never met.

How wonderful to be done with that way of life! We now have a life based on honesty. We can now be ourselves wherever we go.

Our program tells us that to get sober, we must live a life of strict honesty. Honesty is our first rule to get and stay sober. Life is much more simple this way. We can relax and think of the happy details of life.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to live honestly. Being honest brings me closer to You. Help me become closer to You.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll read the first three pages of chapter 5 in Alcoholics Anonymous. Here I’ll learn why honesty is so important to my recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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October 31

Friendship and community are, first of all, inner qualities.

~Henri J. M. Nouwen

Many of us mistakenly search outside ourselves for answers. We feel small inside and not very powerful. Many of us men have tried to change our lives by affecting the people around us. Naturally, when we think of making friends, we assume we would start by getting a friend. But such beginnings often don’t lead very far.

Friendship begins as an inward attitude or feeling before it is expressed outwardly. Perhaps we could first notice whom we feel friendly toward. Whom do we admire? Whom do we feel an affinity with? Let that friendliness exist within, and it will begin to express itself. Are we grasping for acceptance or response? Let us remain with our own goodwill and not return to old attempts to get someone else to change. Friendship exists as a feeling of admiration, of love, of fellowship, without demand. And when we are another man’s friend, let us accept his friendship and enjoy it without trying to change it or him.

Today, I will simply notice my friendly feelings toward others.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*