New with 4 days clean!! Sick but grateful

[oxyfree]

Hi, I'm brand new to this forum and so thankful that I've found it!!!

I am on day 4 home detox off narcotics. I am very sick, but absolutely nothing like night 1 which was a nightmare. My boyfriend barricaded the doors and I got extremely violent withdrawal symptoms, screaming and crying that I was going to die and not make it through. Well guess what, I did :) :) having been able to get me through that night has given me so much hope that I can kick this awful habit!!

I have been consuming all my time with phone calls to people in recovery and close friends who can help as well as addictions nurses and detox lines to verify that a home detox is safe. My boyfriend has been a saint!! A solid NA member, he has guarded me for the first few days to prevent a quick relapse and nursed me through the W/D symptoms which were very ugly.

I need all the love and support I can get to get through this first week, and of course, thereafter. I've been to treatment 3 times already (for other substances), and I don't have another relapse or recovery left... the next time could very well be my last :( I want soooooo badly to be clean.

Housing, my job and my relationship are on the line now. My bf said last relapse I was out. Bless him he let me stay because I was so willing to just quit and not use alternatives.

Any prayers, advice, encouragement, suggestions, wisdom or hope I would truly be grateful for.

Last night I journaled about the first 36 hours and made a huge gratitude list - it helped me see so much; I will keep doing this.

Thank you and I apologize for my lengthy post!!

[eric]

Hi you need to get yourself to NA quickly.

[MajestyJo]

Welcome to the site. NA sounds good, but anywhere you go and can identify is good too. I could stop, but couldn't stay stopped. I was raised with religion, but until I found a spiritual way of life, I could not stay clean and sober.

I went to AA for my denial and to NA for identification. I went to CA because a boyfriend went there and could identify there, it wasn't the substance I used, it was how I reacted to it. I could not use safely, I chose to live. I am also an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and go to Al-Anon too.

Just for today, I choose not to use.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTEXOd3kxHxNUpA1VQtb-8BUTjEC_K-BPqJSHoA8su2f3MTzSJFIw

[oxyfree]

My goal is at least 4-5 meetings/week and maybe more if I can get the time off work right now. I have been in and out of recovery for 4 years (3 clean; 1 not) I love the NA fellowship in our community because it is so strong and I do very much relate to it. However, I entered recovery via AA and did my first few sets of steps in AA. My plan is to continue to attend both, including SMART recovery.

Thank you both for welcoming me!!

[MajestyJo]

Hope you will continue to come and share your journey with us. I was told that when you relapse you lose your dry date, but if you have had some time in the program it is still there waiting to be reinstated in your life.

I don't have a problem with alcohol or drugs, but I have to work on my emotional sobriety one day at a time, or it will take me back to where I came from. I am only an arm's length away from a drug if I don't have a strong spiritual foundation.

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT_Bp_KxppA7sX0cRuKfhjeCt3Xa_JJQ iZfDnCfg3Ipb1dQA0k5

[LookingOut]

Welcome to the site! You're not alone! :D

[dwmoeller]

Oxyfree,

:67:

Greeting from North Dakota!

I will pray for you.

[lorry 38]

Welcome oxyfree I too am also new. I pray you receive the serenity you need. I haven't been to rehab. I also cover up the mess UPS. After this last mess up I decided to try something new because nothing else works. I gave this battle to God. So congratulations this site will be a blessing to all of us.

[yukonm]

Welcome to our community!! I am so glad that you found us. It is good that you are considering going to NA. I feel like MJ, any support system that works for you as long as you find one.
I don't believe I could have done this on my own. Please keep coming and posting.

[mdmarlene]

Go to meetings...get a Big Book...get a sponsor and follow the suggestions. One day at a time. I suggest as suggested to me to work your steps with your sponsor. All of them. And slowly these steps and the principles behind them become part of us as we continue to take personal inventory and continue to seek and improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding. Go to meetings. Keep coming back.

[jfreeman]

IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN! I WAS TAKING 10 80mg OC A DAY. SOO I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. I HAD TO MEDICAL DETOX WITHDRAWAL WAS TO MUCH. I ALSO WENT ON SUBOXN ALONG WITH INTENSIVE OUT PATIENT THEN STANDARD AND AFTER CARE. MEETINGS,SPONSOR,STEP WORK AND A LOT OF PRAYER. CHANGE EVERYTHING,FRIENDS,PLACES,PLAY GROUNDS. YOU NEVER HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THIS AGAIN..DO NOT PICK UP...NO MATER WHAT..THE REAL WORK STARTS AFYER THE DETOX,BUT IT IS WORTH EVERY PAIN TO GAIN NEW LIFE. PRAYING FOR YOU