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View Full Version : Weekly Spiritual Meditations - July 8


bluidkiti
07-04-2022, 11:11 AM
Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you. Psalm 25:4-5

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Jesus is always ready to relieve us of the burden of sin. We, in turn, can resolve to be faithful and let God work in us and through us so that we can find new life in God’s service.

God’s light is always shining.

Time spent waiting on the Lord is not wasted time. Waiting on the Lord can be productive. God has promised us strength to meet life’s challenges and to rise above difficulties (Isa. 40:31). The Lord is patiently standing by, ready to engage us. We must come and wait to experience God’s blessing.

As faithful followers of Christ, in times of despair we sometimes need consoling and a reminder that God’s promise to care for us is still real. God does hear us and respond to us.

God’s love and care for us never end. God sends love and care when we need it most.

We do not need to worry, for God’s word never loses its power.

We are all special creations of God whose love for each of us is unconditional. We are called to show that same love and acceptance to others, even to those who may be very different from us.

Each of us is unique in God’s eyes.

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Keep Your Eye on the Ball by Sally I. Kennedy
Keep your eyes on Jesus Hebrews 12:2
since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders… let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1-2
I the Lord do not change. Malachi 3:6
Sports has never been my strong suit but in our family we have some good athletes. While taking lessons over the years, one thing I did learn was to “keep your eye on the ball”. Whether you’re playing ping pong, golf, tennis, football, basketball…..whatever it is, it’s imperative you keep your eye on the ball. If you become distracted while playing, for example by someone coughing or calling out, you can lose momentum and focus.
You tend to go in the direction you are looking. If your focus is on your circumstances, that’s not going to get you very far. I heard a pastor once say he asked a fellow how he was doing, and the guy said, “Pretty good, under the circumstances”, to which the preacher replied. “Well what are you doing under there?!”
The wisdom of the Bible encourages us to keep our eyes on the Lord, not on circumstances. Circumstances change, but the Lord does not. That’s good news.

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Keep Waiting—God is at Work by Max Lucado
I’m convinced the Sabbath was created for frantic souls like me, people who need a weekly reminder that the world will not stop if I do.
In one of the most dramatic examples of waiting in the Bible, Daniel prays for people who had been oppressed for seventy years. He abstained from food and drink for twenty-one days, as he labored in prayer, persisted, pleaded, and agonized. No response. On the twenty-second day an angel of God appeared. He revealed to Daniel that his prayer had been heard on the first day.
From an earthly perspective, nothing was happening. But from a heavenly perspective a battle was raging in the heavens. God was working! What if Daniel had given up…lost faith…or walked away from God? Consider these better questions: What if you give up? Lose faith? Walk away? Don’t! God is at work. Keep waiting! From You’ll Get Through This

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The Gift Of Patience by Karen Abbott
This past couple of years has been a struggle for me. My rapidly deteriorating arthritic hips and knees have made it difficult for me to function as usual, and now, I have recently had a total right hip replacement. Instead of thanking God that there is an option to medically repair these joints, I am struggling with the fact that I am grounded for the next six weeks while the joint settles.
Imagine how annoyed God must be with me to see my lack of appreciation for what He has done for me!
Galatians 5:22-23a – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (NIV)
James 5:7-8,10 – Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. (NIV 2011)
As much as I pray for patience in this situation, my old self cries out, "It's not fair! How can I be a good witness when I'm stuck in the house?" One of the fruits of the Spirit is patience, and I seem to have misplaced mine of late!
However, with continued prayer and the help of the Comforter, I am working to receive God's incredible gift of patience. I do trust that He has a plan for all of this and will reveal it to me in His timing.
My burden is temporary, and I pray that God will give me patience, and enable me to be gracious in my inactivity and perhaps to be an example to you, my reader, or to someone like myself who has trouble sitting still.
Prayer: Most gracious Father, I pray that You will give me the grace to accept Your gift at Your time and trust that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28 KJV). Amen.

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WHERE ANGELS WALK by Joan Wester Anderson
Harold and Beulah Bassler, an elderly couple from Martinsburg, Pennsylvania, were enjoying their usual after-church Sunday drive. They were on a small country road, admiring the scenery, when suddenly a large car approached. The driver (who they later discovered was drunk) was aiming right for them. Harold swerved, but there was nowhere for their car to go except off the road. It bounced down an embankment and toppled into a gushing stream. Harold and Beulah both shouted for help.
Fortunately, within minutes, many people in the area ran to assist them. It was a small town, and just about everyone knew everyone else. As some of the men hung onto the car, and others grabbed the Basslers to keep them from being pulled away by the current, everyone saw a handsome blue-eyed stranger drive up and stop. "Here, let me help. They're going to be cold!" he said, grabbing two brand new sleeping bags from inside his spotless automobile.
As the neighbors pulled Harold and Beulah out of the water, they tore off their outer clothes, and laid each one inside a sleeping bag. When the ambulance arrived, the attendants left the couple in the warm bags while they drove them to Nason Hospital in Roaring Springs, PA.
Excitement over, everyone now looked around for the handsome stranger. But he was nowhere to be found. How could someone have driven off without anyone noticing? And why had he arrived on a little-traveled road with those comfortable sleeping bags---at just the right time?
Due to the warm bags preventing hypothermia, the Basslers survived their ordeal, and had several happy years together afterward. No one ever saw the stranger again. But there was one more peculiar postscript: Not only did the stranger disappear, the sleeping bags did too. Uncle Weldon Bassler attempted to retrieve them from the hospital, to have them cleaned and possibly returned to the mystery man. But he was greeted with blank looks from the emergency room staff. "Sleeping bags?" more than one replied. "I don't recall seeing them at all."

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“So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord…” 2 Timothy 1:8 NIV
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy: 3:16 NIV
“Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.” 2 Timothy 4:2 NIV
When my son was growing up, I was constantly in church teaching programs for children, sometimes two or three at once. I always prepared, and I always loved the children, but sometimes situations
were not favorable to inspired teaching. Young children have short attention spans, and some have difficulty with ideas and learning. Thankfully, children’s materials allow for this possibility, including
simple Bible stories, activities, crafts, and even games to illustrate the teaching.
While I enjoyed teaching, I was not always certain of the effectiveness of what I did or was doing. Another teacher, with Bible college training and much experience always encouraged her teacher friends. She pointed out that we should not be anxious about outcomes but “sow the seed” of the Bible Word and trust the Lord for outcomes (that is, for the “harvest.”) As I considered her words, I began to let go of worry, relax, and just simply enjoy the teaching experience. Letting go of possible negative self-evaluation was also liberating. I tried to keep my focus on Jesus and my love for the children.
Fear of failure, of embarrassment, of ineffectiveness can be the blockage of an attempt to share the Gospel or reach out to others with the good news of Jesus. Still later reading and Bible study
emphasized for me the idea that Scripture is effective in and of itself. Even if we are not the most supremely eloquent or dynamic, the Bible truth can stand on its own, with simple, sincere sharing by one person to another. The power of the Holy Spirit working through the Word brings positive outcomes that we might never anticipate.
God enables and blesses us with the power to make a difference in the lives of others if we rely on Him and His Word. Conscientious preparation and love of others go a long way in helping us to “gift”
others with God’s Word. There are so many ways to share that each of us should be able to find an appropriate way for our personality and style. So say a prayer, relax, and share the love of Jesus with someone today. by Mary-Ellen Grisham

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Not Forgotten: The Full Armor of God by Kenneth Bae, from Not Forgotten
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. — Ephesians 6:11
After what felt like the longest day of my life, six o’clock finally came. I had not achieved all I was supposed to achieve for the day. I had planted only a few rows…I went back to room number 3. I just wanted to collapse on my bed. My dinner, which consisted of basically the same thing I’d had every meal so far, was waiting for me…
I did not stir until the next morning around six. After a small breakfast I spent an hour reading my Bible, singing, and praying, before I was led back outside to spend another day working in the field. Just walking out there took all of my spiritual energy. My body ached, but my spirit ached even more. If I am going to survive this, I have to put on the full armor of God, I told myself.
When I reached the field, I took my hoe and started planting where I had left off the day before. While I dug I silently recited Ephesians 6:13-17. I went over each piece of God’s armor and felt myself place it over my spirit. The belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, and the shield of faith covered me. I looked at my hoe and imagined it to be the sword of the Spirit. As each piece went on, my strength grew. From that day on, I never left my room without first putting on the full armor of God to prepare me for the spiritual battles awaiting me.
My second day in the field was pretty much like my first, as was the third day and the fourth and on and on and on. The only exception was the day I spent spreading fertilizer instead of planting. I preferred planting.
The fertilizer consisted of pig manure mixed with dried leaves and cut with water. I hauled it out into the field on the A-frame, trying to balance two bucketfuls of this smelly mixture. I spilled more than made it into the field. Eventually the guards told me to carry one bucket at a time.
I cannot describe the smell. It reeked of the most awful stink I’ve ever experienced.
I started singing more and more as I worked. I found it lifted my spirits and made the time go by much faster. Most days I sang praise songs. One afternoon I got so caught up in worshiping my Lord that a huge smile broke out on my face. I was hot. My back ached. My knees were sore. But in my spirit I was in the presence of God. Finally one of the guards yelled over at me, “Hey, 103, if you are the prisoner, why do you look like you are enjoying this more than we do? Stop it.”
Your Turn: How often do we think of the full armor of God as something that we must put on every single day just to withstand the enemy and to prepare for the spiritual battles of the day ahead? Let’s read Ephesians 6:13-17 again and ask the Lord to remind us to be fully ready in this way for whatever lies ahead.

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Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns
You may have experienced a setback, but you must not allow isolated incidents to bring spiritual confusion. Your instinct is to exaggerate the significance of a personal affront instead of just taking it in stride. The world is not perfect, you are not perfect, and people around you are not perfect. Give yourself and others a break, says the Lord. Trust Me to bring you to a place of wholeness. Psalms 138:8 The LORD will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever; do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Position yourself to receive and walk in the new anointing that has just been released. It is available to you, but you must access it by faith. This anointing is for the purpose of making you more aware spiritually in order to fulfill more completely all that I have given you to accomplish, says the Lord. This anointing will cause you to be more effective in kingdom work. Romans 5:1-2 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

In a vision I saw a door across the room. It was shut, but there was such a bright light on the other side of the door that the cracks around the door framed it. It was very inviting. And, I heard the Lord say, "Open the door to bring light and life. Do not stay in the darkness of present circumstances. Allow My light to bring the next revelation and the wisdom that follows into your life in a more powerful way." Ephesians 5:13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.

Beloved, don't despise the process. There are still things I want to bring forth from your life that have not yet matured. Discern and refuse the temptation to be intolerant or impatient. This progression will take time to develop, so settle that factor as part of your pattern of advancement. Don't be in a hurry; savor the moments that bring revelation and spiritual growth, says the Lord. Your harvest is undeniable. Mark 4:26-29 And He said, "The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground, and should sleep by night and rise by day, and the seed should sprout and grow, he himself does not know how. For the earth yields crops by itself: first the blade, then the head, after that the full grain in the head. But when the grain ripens, immediately he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come."

Consider your vulnerabilities--those places in you that can be exploited. You must protect yourself to keep others from taking unrighteous advantage of you. You can do this by hiding yourself in Me, says the Lord. When you live in the Spirit, you will have the necessary discernment to see trouble before it comes. Ephesians 6:13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

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The Trumpet by Bill Burns
"Set the trumpet to your mouth!" Hosea 8:1
Above all activate your position of faith in Me. For, I am able to do the things in you that you cannot do, and I am able to lead you in the things you cannot see. I am able to speak to you and tell you the things you do not know, I am with you and for you. I will guide you through the maze and trouble of this life into the perfect will I have spoken over you. And, your destiny will be fulfilled if you will but believe in Me, lean on Me, and come forth in My power, says the Lord.

I prophesy to you, My people, that indeed it shall be that you shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Not only in the land of the living but the land in which you live. The space that you occupy in this earth belongs to you. It is yours to rule over. For, I have given you the power of My Spirit and by that power comes the dominion of the Holy One. So, rise up and take control. Remove the chaos in your lives. Establish the peace of God. Live and dwell in the joy of God. Understand that I am for you. I will not forsake you. I will not ever leave you without help in this land, says the Lord.

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Early Morning Thanks by Daniel Day - July 2001
Thank You Lord for everything
Thank you for the joy you bring
As I awaken to early morning light
And when my head lays down at night
You make living life a joy
I'm like a child with a toy
I write these words with peace to bring
Hope I have all will sing
As I look back along life's way
Sorrow and death have fallen away
Joy and peace have flooded in
I'm glad to know you as my friend
Should there be a mountain that I must climb
Lead the way I'll follow behind
Eyes wide open following you
Because I know my Lord, You'll see me through.

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"GOD KNOWS"
When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts...
God knows how hard you have tried.
When you've cried so long and your heart is in anguish...
God has counted your tears.
If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by...
God is waiting with you.
When you're lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call...
God is by your side.
When you think you've tried everything and don't know where to turn...
God has a solution.
When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated...
God has the answer.
If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope...
God has whispered to you.
When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for...
God has blessed you.
When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe...
God has smiled upon you.
When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow...
God has opened your eyes and called you by name.
Remember that wherever you are or whatever you're facing...
GOD KNOWS!! --Author Unknown

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The psalmist wrote, “Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation.” - Psalm 62:1

The Lord says, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” - Isaiah 43:1

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:3-10

Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you. Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you. Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my cry for mercy. In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me. Psalm 86:1-7

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

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Getting Down to Specifics by Jill Savage
For months my husband, Mark, and I had been saving up to get a third family car so that our daughter Anne would have something to drive when she turned 16. With four children, another car—and another driver—in the family would be a godsend.
Then came the bad news: Our well had dried up, and so did our savings when we drilled a new one. “I guess I’ll just have to pray for a car,” Anne said when we told her.
Anne wasn’t just being a good sport. She really prayed for that car.
“I’m praying specifically, just like you taught me,” she explained to me one evening while we were doing the dishes. “I asked God for automatic transmission because I don’t drive stick, four doors so my brothers and sister can climb in and out easily. And I asked that it be blue, because that’s my favorite color.”
“That’s a tall order,” I said.
Of course God could provide Anne with all those things, but that didn’t mean he would. “You could learn to drive stick, or deal with having only two doors,” I suggested, handing her a plate to dry. “And it doesn’t matter if the car’s blue, right?”
“I know,” Anne said. “But God says we should ask specifically for what we want, so that’s what I’m doing. I leave the rest to him.”
Later that night I confided in Mark. “I don’t mind her being disappointed by us, but I wouldn’t want her to ever feel disappointed by God.”
“Don’t worry so much,” Mark told me. “She knows that the prayer is more important sometimes than the answer.”
The next morning I climbed out of bed, got a cup of tea and checked my e-mail. On one message I recognized the name of a man I knew from church. He was buying a new car, and remembered that we had a daughter who had just turned 16. Would we like his old car—for free?
“It’s automatic transmission, four door, perfect for a young driver,” he wrote. “Oh, and I don’t know if it matters, but it’s blue.”
Little did he know how much it mattered.

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Gracious God, you hear the prayers of your children. Thank you for the privilege of bringing to you our needs and concerns. Help us always to look to you as the source of our help and hope, trusting in your love for us.

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Read Through The Bible
Jeremiah 31
1 At the same time, saith the Lord, will I be the God of all the families of Israel, and they shall be my people. 2 Thus saith the Lord, The people which were left of the sword found grace in the wilderness; even Israel, when I went to cause him to rest. 3 The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. 4 Again I will build thee, and thou shalt be built, O virgin of Israel: thou shalt again be adorned with thy tabrets, and shalt go forth in the dances of them that make merry. 5 Thou shalt yet plant vines upon the mountains of Samaria: the planters shall plant, and shall eat them as common things. 6 For there shall be a day, that the watchmen upon the mount Ephraim shall cry, Arise ye, and let us go up to Zion unto the Lord our God. 7 For thus saith the Lord; Sing with gladness for Jacob, and shout among the chief of the nations: publish ye, praise ye, and say, O Lord, save thy people, the remnant of Israel. 8 Behold, I will bring them from the north country, and gather them from the coasts of the earth, and with them the blind and the lame, the woman with child and her that travaileth with child together: a great company shall return thither. 9 They shall come with weeping, and with supplications will I lead them: I will cause them to walk by the rivers of waters in a straight way, wherein they shall not stumble: for I am a father to Israel, and Ephraim is my firstborn. 10 Hear the word of the Lord, O ye nations, and declare it in the isles afar off, and say, He that scattered Israel will gather him, and keep him, as a shepherd doth his flock. 11 For the Lord hath redeemed Jacob, and ransomed him from the hand of him that was stronger than he. 12 Therefore they shall come and sing in the height of Zion, and shall flow together to the goodness of the Lord, for wheat, and for wine, and for oil, and for the young of the flock and of the herd: and their soul shall be as a watered garden; and they shall not sorrow any more at all. 13 Then shall the virgin rejoice in the dance, both young men and old together: for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow. 14 And I will satiate the soul of the priests with fatness, and my people shall be satisfied with my goodness, saith the Lord. 15 Thus saith the Lord; A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, and bitter weeping; Rahel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not. 16 Thus saith the Lord; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the Lord; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy. 17 And there is hope in thine end, saith the Lord, that thy children shall come again to their own border. 18 I have surely heard Ephraim bemoaning himself thus; Thou hast chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke: turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the Lord my God. 19 Surely after that I was turned, I repented; and after that I was instructed, I smote upon my thigh: I was ashamed, yea, even confounded, because I did bear the reproach of my youth. 20 Is Ephraim my dear son? is he a pleasant child? for since I spake against him, I do earnestly remember him still: therefore my bowels are troubled for him; I will surely have mercy upon him, saith the Lord. 21 Set thee up waymarks, make thee high heaps: set thine heart toward the highway, even the way which thou wentest: turn again, O virgin of Israel, turn again to these thy cities. 22 How long wilt thou go about, O thou backsliding daughter? for the Lord hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man. 23 Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel; As yet they shall use this speech in the land of Judah and in the cities thereof, when I shall bring again their captivity; The Lord bless thee, O habitation of justice, and mountain of holiness. 24 And there shall dwell in Judah itself, and in all the cities thereof together, husbandmen, and they that go forth with flocks. 25 For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul. 26 Upon this I awaked, and beheld; and my sleep was sweet unto me. 27 Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will sow the house of Israel and the house of Judah with the seed of man, and with the seed of beast. 28 And it shall come to pass, that like as I have watched over them, to pluck up, and to break down, and to throw down, and to destroy, and to afflict; so will I watch over them, to build, and to plant, saith the Lord. 29 In those days they shall say no more, The fathers have eaten a sour grape, and the children's teeth are set on edge. 30 But every one shall die for his own iniquity: every man that eateth the sour grape, his teeth shall be set on edge. 31 Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel, and with the house of Judah: 32 Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt; which my covenant they brake, although I was an husband unto them, saith the Lord: 33 But this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the Lord, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people. 34 And they shall teach no more every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for they shall all know me, from the least of them unto the greatest of them, saith the Lord: for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. 35 Thus saith the Lord, which giveth the sun for a light by day, and the ordinances of the moon and of the stars for a light by night, which divideth the sea when the waves thereof roar; The Lord of hosts is his name: 36 If those ordinances depart from before me, saith the Lord, then the seed of Israel also shall cease from being a nation before me for ever. 37 Thus saith the Lord; If heaven above can be measured, and the foundations of the earth searched out beneath, I will also cast off all the seed of Israel for all that they have done, saith the Lord. 38 Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that the city shall be built to the Lord from the tower of Hananeel unto the gate of the corner. 39 And the measuring line shall yet go forth over against it upon the hill Gareb, and shall compass about to Goath. 40 And the whole valley of the dead bodies, and of the ashes, and all the fields unto the brook of Kidron, unto the corner of the horse gate toward the east, shall be holy unto the Lord; it shall not be plucked up, nor thrown down any more for ever.

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Thank you, Father, for walking with us as we journey through this life. Amen.

Wherever you are in life, whatever you've done, you can begin again. If you do not have Jesus in your life and wish to ask Jesus into your life please go to this link now to do so: https://bluidkiti.com/forums/showthread.php?t=130 .
Jesus is calling you to live a life that matters.