One Day At A Time - February

[yukonm]

February 1

~ Strategy ~

"Better shun the bait than struggle in the snare. "

John Dryden



Perhaps the most important strategy for beating temptation is to avoid it altogether. Temptation pits me head-on with my disease and all of its cunning and baffling ways. It's so much easier to stay out of its claws and devices than to try to free myself once caught in its web.

What ways do I bring temptation right into my house or provide access to temptation when I go out? Do I keep forbidden foods in my house? Have I ever asked other family members to go without those things because they are dangerous to me or my recovery? Do I go places or engage in activities that increase my desire to eat compulsively? Have I considered that, for now, I just can't go certain places because of the risk to my recovery? Have I considered that I might have to give up socializing with certain groups of people because they lead me into temptation? Does watching TV trigger compulsive eating? Does putting myself in the company of a certain individuals lead to self- defeating behavior of any kind? Do I continually expose myself to stressful situations or people that tempt me to eat compulsively? Do I continue doing the things that tempt me to eat to ease the feelings or emotions that come up over it?

Perhaps I am in an unwholesome relationship, or I overspend, or have another addiction or compulsion. What am I willing to do to recover? What am I willing to change to keep myself out of harm's way?

It is easy to pray for God to keep me from temptation, but I must do my part also.

One day at a time ...
I must remember to avoid the people, places and things that tempt me to eat compulsively and provide a way for the disease to touch me again.

~ Diane ~

[yukonm]

February 2

~ Love ~

The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.

Victor Hugo



All of my life I felt unloved. Deep in my soul I was also convinced that I was unworthy of love. Nonetheless I craved love deeply.

In a desperate attempt to feel OK, I forsook the God of my childhood and declared that there was no God. I spiralled further and further into the depths of despair, unable to feel or give love. In my downward spiral, I turned to food to block feelings of unworthiness.

I entered Program dying of addiction as well as the deep sorrow of the loveless. I thought I was different from everyone else, that no one could possibly understand me. I had no peers, no real friends.

However, once in Program I found others just like me! I started to belong and to develop true friendships. In my desire to belong, I worked the Twelve Steps as others did and found a God of My Understanding. GOMU is a loving God. This God supports and guides me while as helping me learn to give and receive love. Love has brought me back to life.

One day at a time ...
Hand-in-hand with my Higher Power, I love and am loved.

~ Michel ~

[yukonm]

February 3

~ Being Joyful ~

As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears.
Never let me become so indifferent that I will fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them forget,
at least momentarily, the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment, may I hear You whisper:
"When you made My people smile, you made Me smile."

A Clown's Prayer (Author Unknown)



I have made so many people angry with me, so many people cry, so many people worry and despair of me. So many people have been resentful of me. My disease dictated how I lived my life, if you could call it living.

Then I came to this program and I found a new way to live, and I found joy such as I have never found before, anywhere. The program taught me not to take life so seriously. The Big Book of AA tells me on page 132, "But we are not a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life." I need to remember that. I need to work my steps, stay in conscious contact with my Higher Power, but boy oh boy, do I ever need to remember that I need to learn that I am not a bad person getting good, just a sick person getting well. Even sick people have fun. I'm a sick person recovering on a daily basis from a terminal disease that was killing me, but recovery snatched me from the brink of death. Now I can't help but see the beauty of this crazy, wonderful world we live in.

One day at a time ...
I am warmed and my heart sings at the thought that today I have made someone smile. Please, dear God, let me continue to do so.

~ Marlene ~

[yukonm]

February 4

~ Laughter ~

Laughter can be more satisfying than honor;
more precious than money;
more heart-cleansing than prayer.

Harriet Rochlin



For as long as I can remember I've always been a serious person. I can't remember ever doing something just for fun or to have a laugh. There always had to be a purpose for what I did in my life, or else it was of no value. As for being able to laugh at myself, that wasn't even in my frame of reference. I was so super-sensitive that I'd get upset if someone made fun of me, as it would always make me feel "less than" or stupid.

So when I came into the doors of my first Twelve Step meeting, I was amazed that, even though all the people I met had problems around food, they were still able to look at their mistakes and realize that that didn't make them a bad person. But even more heartwarming was the fact that I heard laughter in those rooms. Before, I'd always thought that when someone laughed at what I said, they were laughing at me, and that would reinforce my feelings of inadequacy.

The lessons I'm learning here are not easy ones and there are still times when my old behaviors of being overly sensitive creep in, but I know that recovery is a process, and as I grow in the program, it will get better.



One day at a time ...
As I practice the program and work the steps, I am becoming more able to laugh at myself and not always look at the dark side of life. What a gift it has been to start enjoying life!

~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

February 5

~ SELF WORTH ~

Your worth is not established by teaching or learning.
Your worth is established by God.
Nothing you do or think or wish or make
is necessary to establish your worth.

Helen Schucman, scribe of "A Course in Miracles"



I have spent the last 30 years of my life wanting more, thinking that in proving myself I would be worthy of the love and affection I deserved and this would determine my value. I was always seeking the best path to take to show everyone what I could do and that I was worthy of more of their love and praises.

Turning my life and my will over to God has allowed me to see that, no matter what I may think, in God's eyes I am worth plenty, and this has given me so much peace. I now know that what others say or think about me is not going to make me worthy or worthless. Allowing God to run the show and doing the next right thing is all I need to do. I don't have to concern myself if I am of value to anyone; I am of value to God, and that is all that counts.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will continue to turn to God for my strength, knowing that I need not carry the burden of proof of what I'm worth.

~ Maureen ~

[yukonm]

February 6

~ ERRORS AND ASSETS ~

We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors
and convert them into assets.

The Big Book



I have had a paradigm shift in my life. This means that I have begun to see some of my most basic ideas about food and nourishment from a different angle. I never really thought these things through before this program nudged me to have a look at my life with rigorous honesty. Oh, I wanted to be thin, but I barely related that to my feelings about food.

I was on autopilot for years and now realize that my concept of food was reasoned out when I was still a child. I put that childish set of ideas in place and then just stopped thinking about it. That little child wanted the most she could get of everything there was. She wanted the most attention, the most love, the most toys . . . and the most food. And at that time it was exactly the right way to look at the world. When I was a child setting up the system that constantly demands more to calm or soothe or comfort or love, I turned to food because it is simple and I did not possess the skills to get my needs met in other ways. It was a victory really, because I coped, made it through to now. But, to stick with a plan set up by a little child reflects a lack of willingness to face a basic error in engaging the world and change my behavior.

Now I know that eating mass quantities of food isn't about love, or fun, or comfort. Now my adult mind knows that food is a fuel that, if chosen judiciously, helps my body to work efficiently and clears my mind for the task of being a responsible adult in a busy, troubled world. By shifting from "How much food do I get for me?" to "What must I eat today to be healthy?" I change my whole basis for choosing. I take an area of my life that has been a constant error and change it into an asset, one that nourishes me and helps me to do that next right thing.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am willing to face my flawed thinking about food and change the way I make food choices, meal by meal, so that food is an asset to me and not a liability.

~ Carol B. ~

[yukonm]

February 7

~ FELLOWSHIP ~

We may have all come on different ships,
but we're in the same boat now.

Martin Luther King Jr.



As a child I never had many friends and I was never one of the "in" crowd. I had many complexes and never thought I was good enough, or clever enough or thin enough. I didn't date much, nor did I often go to parties. Instead I lived in my perfect fantasy world, where I would one day be thin and beautiful and live happily ever after. As a result food became my best friend, and where friends would constantly disappoint me or leave me, food was always there to numb the pain of loneliness, rejection and loss. There was never anyone in whom I could confide the unbearable pain that I felt, and so I would bury myself in books and food, and thought that as long as I had enough food to soothe that great big hole in my soul, everything would be fine.

Finally, however, when the food was causing me more pain than the pain it was supposed to take away, in desperation I found the doors of this wonderful fellowship. The people in that first meeting were from all walks of life, and of all ages, with some being old enough to be my parents or young enough to be my children. Even though they initially appeared so different to me, I realized that in this motley group of people I had found the friends that I had always been looking for. The common bond we shared in our desire to stop eating compulsively and to heal our lives was the cement that keeps this wonderful fellowship going. These friends listened to me without judging me, they loved me even when I couldn't love myself, and they were there for me when I needed them. They have become my best friends and my family. It's a result of this fellowship with other compulsive overeaters, who share with me their experience, strength and hope, that I am constantly able to learn and grow.

One day at a time... One Day at a Time . . .
I will reach out in fellowship to my friends in the program, as they reach out to me, and in doing so I am empowered in ways that are truly miraculous.

~ Sharon S. ~

[bluidkiti]

February 8

DISCIPLINE AND FREEDOM

" Freedom to a dancer means discipline.
That is what technique is for ... liberation."
Martha Graham


I was thinking this morning that keeping in fit spiritual condition was like being a dancer. A dancer knows that without the discipline of frequent training and rehearsal, he or she will not be able to dance freely when called upon to do so. The dancer who is not in shape will look wrong, feel wrong and become injured trying to do something wild and free. The training may be dull, boring and repetitive at times, but when the performance is on, the dancer soars in the freedom of movement.

I try to look at my daily program tasks the way a dancer looks at training. I may not like every minute, but I have the continual blessing of freedom as I go about my day and the hope of great moments of breakthrough into new freedoms as I progress.

One day at a time ...
I will take each step of my recovery program with my great vision of freedom.


~ Q.

[yukonm]

February 8

~ BLESSINGS ~

There are no mistakes, no coincidences.
All events are blessings given to us to learn from.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross



I certainly never had a charmed life as a child, and when I was told to count my blessings, I never thought that I had that much to shout about. I was a shy and lonely child, always self-conscious about my shape and size, and everyone else seemed to be far better off than I was. When life started to deal out blows that were far more than I thought I could handle, I wondered why bad things always seemed to happen to me. I would hardly recover from one traumatic event when another one was upon me. I felt life was definitely unfair. Using food seemed to be the only way that I knew to cope.

I was looking for a solution, for some way to make my life a happier one. Fortunately, I was finally brought to my knees by the pain of my compulsive overeating. In working the Steps of this wonderful program, I have come to some amazing realizations. All the time I had railed against my misfortunes, I was being brought to some new understanding.

With the growing openness I now have, I can more clearly see why certain things in my life had to happen, and even why I became a compulsive overeater. Unlike the past, when I used to hate this disease, I now see it as a blessing, from which I can learn and grow. If it were not for this disease, I would not have needed to look at my life, nor would I have had to work at trying to make myself into a better person. I most certainly would not have needed to find a God of my understanding, nor would I have met so many wonderful new friends, who always love and support me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that the events in my life are not dealt out to me as a form of punishment, but rather as motivating factors in my life, that spur me on to grow and change as a person.

~ Sharon S. ~

[yukonm]

February 10

~ ATTITUDE ~

The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude.



Viktor Frankl



I have always found someone like Viktor Frankl to be an inspiration. His attitude to life totally amazes me, especially after suffering and losing all his family in the Nazi concentration camps. How could anyone come away from an experience like that and still find meaning in life, much less meaning in suffering? I certainly could never find any meaning in all the years of suffering through compulsive eating which caused me so much pain. Life didn't seem meaningful at the time, and I wondered if it ever could. But one of the things I have learned in the program is that I can allow myself to wallow in self pity, which I did many times, or I can take the lessons from my life's experiences and use them as opportunities for growth. That has not been an easy one for me in my journey, and there have been many times when life just seemed to be too hard. I wondered whether I had the same strength and positive attitude that Viktor Frankl did. Intellectually I know that attitude is a choice I make. There have been times when I've been depressed and full of self pity and I allowed myself to sink into that abyss of despair. But now, knowing that I have a choice, that I can pick myself up and "act as if," I can have a positive attitude. When I make the positive choice, miraculous things happen, and life somehow seems a lot easier.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will make a choice to think positive thoughts, and try to emulate people like Viktor Frankl and others who have battled enormous difficulties and yet kept a positive attitude. When I do that, I know my life will become infinitely better.


~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

February 11

FREEDOM

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”
Judy Garland



As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be like -- or act like -- someone else. I never allowed myself the freedom to be me. I was my parents' child, my husband's wife, and my children's mother. It wasn't until I came into program wearing all of my identities on my body -- 150 pounds’ worth -- that I was able to see how unhappy I really was.

I began my journey to recovery by slowly discovering the real me underneath all that extra weight. Working the Twelve Steps of recovery helped me to peel away the layers of fear that kept me stuck.


One Day at a Time . . .
I am free to be me ~
And I am enough.

~ Eileen

[yukonm]

February 12

~ POSITIVE THINKING ~

"We could accomplish many more things
if we did not think of them as impossible"

Jean-Jacques Rousseau
from his "Lettres à M. de Malesherbes



I have spent a lifetime dieting. My life can be easily separated into two sections: the dieting periods and the non-dieting, or bingeing, periods. When I first start losing weight, I am positive about it, to the point where, if I go clothes shopping, I even buy things in smaller sizes because soon I won't be as big as I am. This works fine while I'm losing weight, but when I reach a plateau and remain at the same weight level for a while, or even worse, gain a bit, I start to think that I'll never lose the weight I need to lose, that my sticking to a "diet" for the rest of my life is nigh to impossible.

Well, with stinking thinking like this, I'm defeated before I've even started. Through this program, I've learned that anything is possible. First of all, it's true that sticking to a diet for the rest of my life would be an impossible feat, but in program we don't "go on diets." We follow a sensible eating plan, and this plan should be flexible enough that it IS something we can follow indefinitely. Secondly, I have to correct my time spans. Instead of thinking of it as "the rest of my life," I have the option to think of it as "One Day at a Time," and we can do anything for just one day, can't we?

One day at a time ...
I remember that's all it takes...one day at a time.

Marjee

[yukonm]

February 13

ADMITTING MISTAKES

"A man should never be ashamed
to own he has been in the wrong,
which is but saying, in other words,
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."

Alexander Pope



Most of my life I had spent in blaming others for all the bad things that happened in my life, and I never learned to take responsibilty for my part in anything. I thought that life had treated me unfairly, but mostly it was because someone else had wronged me. I wallowed in self pity and justifiable anger, and not surprisingly, I found comfort in food so I could get through the pain of being treated so badly by others.

When I came into the program and began working the steps, I was horrified to learn that I was expected to do a searching and fearless inventory of my wrongdoings, for after all wasn't it others who had harmed me and not the other way around? Slowly I realised that I had a part to play in all the events in my life, and that only by clearing up the wreckage of my past and keeping my side of the street clean, did I have any hope of recovery. I had to swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong, and when I did that, miracles began to happen. Instead of feeling hard done by and bad about myself as I had thought I would, the exact opposite happened, and I started on a journey of growth and increasing self esteem that never ceases to surprise me. When I am able to admit that I'm wrong and apologise for my part in any conflict or misunderstanding, without expectation of anything back from the other person, I strengthen my recovery in this program.

One day at a time ...
I will admit my mistakes whether I believe that the fault is mine or not, because that is the way that I grow in my recovery.

Sharon

[yukonm]

February 14

OZ

"Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man
That he didn't, didn't already have."

Tin Man
Written by Dewey Bunnell, ©1974



These are simple words, and at first glance look like a song from the 'Wizard of Oz.’ However, to me they are complex and have deep meaning.

I have a body, a mind and a spirit; yet for the better part of my growing-up years I thought I had a flaw. I never felt complete and kept searching for whatever-it-was that would make me whole and fix me. I had no idea I was looking in the wrong places; but the real problem was I didn't know what I was looking for.

I never knew how to just 'be' without expecting some kind of negative feedback or teasing or criticism or uncertainty in return. Because I never felt good enough, I learned to 'not be' and to make myself invisible emotionally while eating, and in later years eating and purging.

Coming to OA was like surfacing for air after staying under water too long. People who didn’t know me understood and supported me. I slowly opened up and shared at meetings and did service and stopped hiding, and the void created with food and loneliness began to fill with hugs and support and recovery.

Today I have a Program with wonderful friends who reinforce I am OK as I am. God gave me and continues to give me what I need - physically (help with my food plan), emotionally and spiritually. The miracles in my life keep coming when I least expect them and only when I turn them over to God. Each new miracle and blessing nourishes me.

I began writing professionally again; writing is my passion, and my disease stole it from me. My spirit is happy, and I am grateful to my loving friend who had confidence and faith in me.

One day at a time ...
I am discovering my emerging identity was inside me all the time.

Janie

[yukonm]

February 15

SETTING EXAMPLES

"Don't worry that children never listen to you;
worry that they are always watching you.

Robert Fulgham



How many overweight people blame their size on genes? My whole family had weight problems. Everywhere I turn I see obese families. In my house we were taught that it is a sin to waste food. After all, there are starving people in the world. As if my cleaning my plate would really help a starving child. How many times was I rewarded with a sweet treat instead of a hug and a "Gee you did good - I'm really proud of you." A scraped knee always felt better if you put a candy on it. I could eat the treat after the pain was gone, so of course eating made you feel better fast. My parents didn't actually teach me that food would give me instant gratification in so many words, but I learned those lessons from observation. Food helped me get through some very difficult years. I never realized that there were tools that could help through them. Unfortunately, I only found OA after my children were grown up and had watched their coe mother make the same mistakes that her parents taught her. I am trying to set a better example now. I no longer have a pantry full of junk food and when I give my grandchildren treats, it's books, stickers, hairclips, toys, anything non-edible.

God, I realize that my parents unintentionally taught me bad eating habits and I forgive them. Please let my children forgive me for making the same mistakes. Help me to set a better example for the next generation. Please be with me when I buy groceries and let me bring only healthy food into my house. Help me to be satisfied with my abstinent meals so that I won't be tempted to binge and graze with little eyes upon me. I am so grateful for Your presence in my life, because I can't do this alone.

One day at a time . . .
Please remind me that there are tools I can use instead of slipping into my old eating habits and let me be an example of the miracles that come with abstinence.

Jeanette

[yukonm]

February 16

A TEENAGER'S PRAYER

"I felt as if angels were pushing."

Adolf Galland - on his first flight in a jet aircraft




A letter from a TRG Teenager . . . . .

Sometimes I feel I really can't take anymore, I really can't do it. I feel so alone. I feel no one cares. I just want to hide away and eat and eat until I am so sick I can't eat anymore.

A minute at a time I got through my day, and it was so hard. Didn't anyone understand how hard it is to get through school with the teachers giving me a hard time. The other kids laughing at me in a corner, I know they are, I can feel them. They don't know what it's like to be me. And when I get home, I get even more of a hard time.

But sometimes I feel so bad and I come here on my computer and share or I go to an online meeting, and I know I'm not alone after all. Someone cares, they really do.

I feel heaps better and I suddenly realize that angels had pushed me through the day. And even though the day had been hard, I HAD got through it! I had a whole day of abstinence!

Suddenly I feel so much better about myself, about you and about the world in general.

One day at a time ...
I will remember tonight. An angel walked with me today, and if I close my eyes and sleep, maybe, just maybe an angel will walk with me in my dreams.


Anonymous

[yukonm]

February 17

~ CHANGES ~

They always say time changes things,
but you actually have to change them yourself.

Andy Warhol



Time changes things – but what things? Can I wait for time to change those ways of coping that don’t serve me anymore? Can I wait for time to make me abstinent?

Yes, time will change things, but chances are that these will be the changes: my coping mechanisms will become even more entrenched and my eating even more destructive. I don’t really want to wait for that kind of change. When I joined OA, I started a new trend. I asked for the wisdom to understand which things I can change and then, armed with the tools of the program, I set about following my new trend of eating healthy and living a life where I don’t sit around waiting.

I will not wait idly for things to get better. I will ask my Higher Power to guide me to make necessary changes.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will not wait idly for things to get better. I will ask my Higher Power to guide me to make necessary changes.

~ Isabella M. ~

[yukonm]

February 18

SERENITY

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer



My life before abstinence was a fight in the dark to stabilize my world and protect myself from more pain. Too much suffering was endured by this child. She never understood that she could ever come back into the Light. But, the fog is lifting now ... there are days of clarity and joy. How could she have known? She was too little.

Circumstances change ... memories fade away ... I can be safe again ... I can allow myself to be me. I will work my program to secure the Light again in my world.

One day at a time . . .
I pray to understand that the stream of life keeps moving ... I will live in darkness no longer.

Margaret ~

[yukonm]

February 19

~ SELF KNOWLEDGE ~

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes
and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.

Tom Robbins



I always tried to do my best in everything I did. Studies, school, and managing my own family are some good examples. Being in control made it seem as though I always did as I was told, but I had a very difficult time Being on my own and thinking for myself. The talent I was born with gave me a good start at being an artist, but I couldn't seem to make a successful career out of it. I was scared and shy and didn't dare be on the forefront of making this talent into what I wanted it to be.

When I started on my path to Recovery, I found that I was being too much of a perfectionist. I was always told to do things perfectly and I tried and tried but never seemed to satisfy my parents or the god of my childhood. So when I grew up I was so hard on myself that I lost the creativity I was born with. Creativity can't thrive in a hostile environment.

One day while reading an author I liked, I read that I had to "get out of my own way". I was a dragon trying to do something creative and it didn't work. I have to learn to "rescue myself from myself" so I can do my art with the talents that are God-given.

One day at a time ... I realize that if I want to see myself as I really am,I cannot stand in my own shadow.

~ Myrlene ~

[yukonm]

February 20

Secrets

There were deep secrets hidden in my heart,
never said for fear others would scoff or sneer.
At last I can reveal my sufferings,
for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power.

Deidra Sarault



I've heard it said in program that we are only a sick as the secrets we keep. If that is the case, then I was very sick when desperation forced me through the doors of ths wonderful fellowship.

Not one of my friends or family knew what I was doing around food, as most of it was done in secret, and I was always careful to remove all the evidence. I couldn't believe that anyone would love me if they knew what I was doing around food, and felt that I was either really bad or totally crazy, or both. But for the first time ever, I was able to come clean about what I was doing around food, and I wasn't judged or frowned upon. The love and acceptance I have received here has been totally overwhelming, but in addition I found out that others had done the same or similar things to what I had done, and so for the first time ever, I felt that I wasn't alone. Not only have I been able to talk freely about my food and what I had been doing, as well as what it was doing to me, but in the fourth and fifth step, I was finally able to share with another person my darkest deepest secrets, that for years I'd thought had made me this terrible person. It was in fact in sharing all the things that I'd thought of as so bad, that I came to realise that it was only my magnifying mind that had made them appear so, and that in fact they really weren't bad at all. I would never have found that out, had I not been in this program, and I'm so grateful for the relief that sharing all these things has given me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to get honest and share with my sponsor and others in this program, all the things that are bothering me, whether it be food or other issues, so I can be relieved of the pain that all my secrets are causing me.

~ Sharon

[yukonm]

February 21

~ PROGRESS ~

" ... I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy."

Marie Curie



I have always been the queen of quick fix, so if I wanted something to happen, it had to happen today if not yesterday. So coming into the program was very hard for me, in that for the first time I have had to realise that recovery is not an overnight thing. For a perfectionist like me, that has been a very hard lesson to learn, in that I don't have to have perfect recovery. My journey in this program has been an up and down one, with many slips along the way, and everytime I have slipped, I have had to remember that I may think I'm a failure, but I'm only a failure if I fail to pick myself up. In the past if I made a mistake, I was a total and utter failure, but I know now that all I have to do each time is to pick myself up, dust myself off and start over.

The other thing I've learned in the program is that I also always need to remember where I came from, and when I look back, I can see the progress I have made. My self esteem is growing, and even though I still seem to slip back into the old character defects from time to time, they are nowhere near as bad as in the past. I am able to forgive people whom I thought I would never be able to forgive, and I make amends whenever the need arises, and as a result my relationships with people have improved dramatically.


One Day at a Time . . .
May I remember that in this program, it is always progress and not perfection that counts.
~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

February 22

~ CHILDLIKE ~

Anxiety is the rust of life,
destroying its brightness and weakening its power.
A childlike and abiding trust in Providence
is its best preventive and remedy.

Tyron Edwards



Like so many of us in OA, I grew up as a little adult. My parents didn't know better - treating me like an adult seemed a good way to them of both showing love to me and making their difficult post-war life easier. Providence was something that intervened once in a while, and in ways that were weighty and important. God was there - but God had to attend to serious matters.

There was little room in God's and my parents' life for the seemingly unimportant details of a child's world. I had no trouble internalizing that message. I learned very soon that no-one was going to take care of my "little" problems and anxieties, that I had to shove them out of the way, and that I could do that very well by daydreaming, by making sure I was the little adult my parents were so proud of - and by eating.

The trouble was that there were times when these coping mechanisms didn't work seamlessly and those anxieties would break through. Panic attacks were the result, and dogged attempts to do more of the insanity: more retreating from the world, more "adult" behaviour, more eating.

One of the things I'm learning in recovery is that paradoxically, in order to really grow up, I need to risk the vulnerability of being more childlike. I need to learn that my Higher Power is not too busy worrying about world peace to listen and deeply care about my little booboos. I need to, I WANT to develop an abiding trust that I am safe with and cared for by my Higher Power, like a baby in a mother's arms.

One day at a time ... I let go of the rust of anxiety so that like a child, I may marvel at and participate in the brightness and wonder of God's world.

~ Isabella ~

[yukonm]

February 23

HUMILITY

To the humble man, and to the humble man alone,
the sun is really a sun;
to the humble man, and to the humble man alone,
the sea is really a sea.
G.K. Chesterton



Before I started recovery, lack of clarity was all around me and within me. There was too much fear. I was unable to acknowledge: This is who I am, and this is what's going on, no more, and no less. I was afraid to name my husband's abusive behaviour. I was afraid to name my complicity in it. I was afraid to name who I was and what I wanted and needed, and I was afraid to name the behaviour of those around me who wanted me to fit into their mould. My husband was scared silly that one day the world would find out that we weren't the perfect family.

So I was not humble. I kept nurturing the fog that covered what was really going on. And boy, was I good at it. I kind of had an inkling that something wasn't right, so, semi-consciously, I made sure that my denial was watertight. I knew that if we pretended that we were a 100% perfect family, there might be suspicions. So I made sure I'd slip in a little problem here and there.

At one point, luckily, I allowed the bubble to burst. I started naming things, loud and clear. I named them to the police, I named them to my friends and family, I named them in my poetry. I started playing with another 12-step program.

But it took me another twelve years to name that I was an overeater. In those years I gained another 70 pounds (with some yoyo dieting thrown in, of course). Humbly admitting that, yes, really, I was an overeater, was the best thing I've done since ridding my family of my abusive spouse. I humbly admitted that I had been abusing myself with my eating behaviours. Now I can see clearly. (I can also see more clearly how wounded my ex spouse is, making it easier for me to work on forgiving him).

One day at a time ... I accept the gift of humility. I am not afraid anymore to look reality in the eye - and what I see is as right as the sun and the sea.

~ I.M.

[yukonm]

February 24

~ ANIMAL TEACHERS ~

For perhaps if the truth were known, we’re all a little blind,
a little deaf, a little handicapped, a little lonely, a little less than perfect.
And if we can learn to appreciate and utilize the dog’s full potential,
we will, together, make it in this life on earth.

Charlotte Schwartz



So many times it feels that what we are being asked is too great. We can barely care for ourselves so how can we possibly reach out our hand to another? How many times have we cried out for someone else to please “handle it” because we just weren't able?

There are so many lessons that come by working with animals. They know nothing of dishonesty. They can't lie. They force us to be honest with ourselves. They depend on us completely, even when we feel we have nothing to give. And our reward? Unconditional love. There is something extra special about a rescued animal. It is as though they know that their life was in darkest peril and they have been saved. The gratitude shows in their eyes, their kisses of devotion, their entire being. Any kindness shown is rewarded. I think this is no different than a member of OA, especially the new members. Any kindness, and the gratitude flows. These newbies know they too have been saved. So perhaps the next time you feel you have nothing to offer, and that what you have been asked is too great, take a moment to reflect on the moment you were ‘saved’. How did you feel the first time someone reached out to you?

One day at a time...
I can use the memory of my first encounters with OA to find the strength to reach out one more time. I know the rewards will be infinite.

~ Mary W. ~

[yukonm]

February 25

~ STARTING OVER ~

Vitality shows not only in the ability to persist,
but in the ability to start over.

F. Scott Fitzgerald



Before coming into this program I was, and probably still am to a certain extent, a perfectionist, so one of the things I really struggled with is being able make mistakes without feeling bad about myself. So when I came into the program, I decided that I was going to do this program perfectly, and proceeded to do just that. I followed a meal plan, lost weight and worked the steps, and I really thought I had it made. But I hadn't counted on the fact that this is a disease, and it is both cunning, baffling and powerful. So when I had my first slip, I was devastated and felt a real failure.

Fortunately for me, with the help of many loving sponsors over the years, I have realised that I am not a failure if I slip, but I am only one if I fail to get up. This program has enabled me to learn that when I make a mistake, I am not that mistake, and that all I need to do is to pick myself up and start over. In the old days if I failed at a diet, I would never have been able to pick myself up so soon, and it would always be an excuse to carry on eating and start the diet again on Monday. Now I know that my abstinence can even start at the end of the day, rather than waiting till tomorrow, next week or even next month. I am slowly starting to let go of the guilt I feel when I slip, and am also learning to love myself even when I do flounder, because with the love and support I am given in this program, I know I can always start over.

One day at a time...
I will remember that I can start afresh any time I like, and don't need to feel as if I have failed.

~ Sharon ~

[yukonm]

February 26

~ MEMORIES ~

Some memories are realities ...
and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.

Willa Cather

When one is young, the world is large and the thought of exploring it is exciting. Each year that we live we add to our memory chest ... and by middle age those memories are substantial. I have found as I have grown older that I remember more of the good things that have happened in my life than the bad. The good things seem to become sharper as time goes by ... and the bad seem less so. It's almost as though the memory has turned into a "feeling" rather than a specific event.

When I work on the fourth and the eighth Steps, my life flashes before me and, like one of those calendars from an old movie, time whizzes by and people who have been part of my life hurtle through space ... each triggering a memory.

Memories aren't made more poignant by time. One might think that a decade of recurring events might be remembered with more clarity than a year ... but I have found in the case of my own memories that it is the quality and intensity of time that produces the kind of memories Willa Cather talks about. A year or two or three, given the right circumstances, can produce the feelings we love our memories to trigger, more than those experienced during a lifetime. And a lifetime of memories can be dwindled into just moments.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will cherish my memories ~ Because I may never experience the reality of some of them again.

~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

February 27

~ FIGHTING ~

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone ...

The Big Book, page 84


When one goes through life at full speed ahead as I have done, it's hard to really step back and look at one's life. Everything is happening too fast and each day seems to blend into the next and, before you know it, the next segment of life seems to take over.

When I began my Twelve Step recovery program, I found myself slowing down ... examining my life ... observing those around me ... and reflecting on my past. I began to know who I was and I didn't like one of the things I discovered: I was a fighter. I didn't accept people, places or things unless and until they met my expectations of what they should be. I tried to control situations that I should have walked away from. I clung to people I should have distanced myself from. I tried to manipulate things that were toxic to me, and make them un-toxic ... and, in the process, did myself great harm.

When I first read those words from the AABB, "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone," I felt it didn't apply to me ... because at that point, I hadn't categorized myself as a fighter. It took living and working the Steps to realize that. And it took living and working the Steps to take the action necessary to stop being a fighter.

Life is calmer now. Relationships are smoother. I sometimes miss the excitement of going through like as though I were on a roller coaster ... but I won't go back there. Serenity means too much to me. Fighting is something I have put away forever.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will direct my thinking and doing to those things in my life which will contribute to a meaningful and pleasant journey.

~ Mari ~

[yukonm]

February 28

~ RECOVERY ~

The people who get on in the world are the people
who get up and look for the circumstances they want.

George Bernard Shaw



There was a time, not so long ago, that my life was much different than it is right now. My weight was skyrocketing because my eating compulsion was out of control. I couldn't walk very far without huffing and puffing. My lower back hurt because my stomach pulled my spine out of alignment. My feet and ankles were swollen, my knees hurt, just standing was painful. I was hot all the time because my fat acted as insulation, keeping my body temperature high. My wife was hounding me about losing the weight, my doctor was taking her side, and even the kids at my son's daycare were asking me why I was so big.

I didn't start the recovery process (and it IS a process!) until I got to the point where I was so uncomfortable with myself that I had to do something. It wasn't just that I was physically uncomfortable. I had to get past the comfort zone I had mentally and emotionally set up for myself; I had to get uncomfortable. I had to jump into the unknown, which was the most frightening thing I'd ever done.

Sitting around, moaning about my circumstances and suffering the physical consequences of my weight, didn't get me anywhere. It was only when I became ready to see my life change, mentally, emotionally AND physically, that I began the footwork of this Program. That was the key to the beginning of my recovery, the getting up and actually doing something about it. When I took that first Step, the miracle began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will take the necessary steps to maintain my
recovery from compulsive eating.

~ JAR ~

[bluidkiti]

February 29

One Day At A Time

~ Patience ~
There is no fruit which is not bitter
before it is ripe.
Publilius Syrus

There are some things in life you simply cannot rush. In the early stages of my disease, I went through life like a steam roller ... impatiently starting one project after another. If there was something in my life that depended on the actions of another for resolution, it was excruciating while waiting on the decision. As a result, sometimes decisions were forced. I have made many bad decisions because of lack of patience.

I have learned that sometimes we have to turn decisions over to others ... we have to let go and let others take control. We must wait it out and hope that our decision to let go was a good one. Many times it is. Sometimes it isn't.

I have become a very patient person ... and sometimes that is to my detriment. It can be hard to find a middle ground in the decision making process. Snap decisions aren't good. Neither are those we sit on forever.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will patiently wait on my Higher Power
to direct me ... to guide me ...
and to help me with the decisions I must make.
~ Mari ~