Today's Thought - February

[bluidkiti]

February 1

Learn what you are, and be such.

~Pindar

It’s difficult for some of us to take a compliment. When others respond favorably to us, we may wonder if they know who we really are; we may believe that if they knew the whole truth, they would think less highly of us.

We are not impostors; we’re complex people who are continuing to evolve. We may be competent, sober, generous, and successful and at the same time still have uncertainties and self-centered fears. We can give ourselves permission to be wherever we are in our process of development or recovery.

This means acknowledging not only our shortcomings but also our successes. We can value what we’ve worked to accomplish and become willing to accept others’ praise and congratulations without feeling fraudulent. Our progress is real. We can let it empower and nurture us.

Today, my image of myself is positive. I accept the reality of my progress.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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February 2

What If?

I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do.

“What if he doesn’t handle it very well?” I asked.

“Then,” my friend replied, “you’re going to have to handle it well.”

“What if’s” can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else’s hands. “What if’s” are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course.

“What if’s” are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what’s best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.

The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don’t have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don’t need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome—even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.

Today, I will not worry about other people’s reactions, or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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February 3

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

~William Shakespeare

Is the glass half full or half empty? Is the responsibility a privilege or a duty? Is the help we’ve been asked to give an opportunity or an obligation? Do we “get” to do it, or do we “have” to do it?

Attitude is everything. And luckily for us, our attitudes are a matter of choice. We can pick the attitudes we want much as we pick out our clothes or hairstyles. Nothing or no one in the past or present can dictate our attitudes. No one else deserves credit or blame for how we choose to process reality. For better or worse, our attitudes are ours alone.

We all have the same world to respond to. What we practice, we become. If we practice looking at each day as a new adventure, so it will be.

I will develop an attitude of gratitude each day, giving thanks for my many blessings.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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February 4

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

~Step Four of Alcoholics Anonymous

Who, exactly, are we? We have admitted in Step One that we are addicts, dependent on alcohol or drugs. We know that we are not exactly the same persons we were before this disease took hold of us; it has changed us.

Step Four suggests that we take a long hard look at ourselves. What are our values? Our feelings? Our behaviors? What can these things tell us about the persons we are inside? The Big Book or a Fourth Step guide can help us make this inventory.

Some of what we find will be good. A lot of what we find will be things we really don’t want to admit and take responsibility for. That’s because our disease has changed the way our brain works, making it harder to be true to ourselves. Step Four is strong medicine to help us get well.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be fearless and thorough in doing my Fourth Step. Help me remember that, although I may not like it, I need to do it in order to get well.
Today's Action

Have I taken my Fourth Step? If not, I will ask my sponsor to help me do a fearless and searching moral inventory. The sooner I do this work, the faster I will heal.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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February 5

All animals except man know that the ultimate point of life is to enjoy it.

~Samuel Butler

If we take time to watch animals, we see that they have a zest for life that seems to engage them totally in whatever they are doing. A cat chasing its tail, a dog going after a ball, a horse running through a pasture, a dolphin leaping and diving—all are actions that reveal energy and delight in simply being alive.

Life, we say, is to be enjoyed, but how many of us manage to put this theory into practice? We often associate pleasure with guilt, with acting out, or with hurting or being hurt, and so we stand back from the full enjoyment of our power to be really alive.

Letting go of our shame and feelings of unworthiness will help us to let go and live. If we can tap into the spontaneity that runs through the animal kingdom, we will rediscover the sheer joy of being alive.

I’ll try to take time to watch animals at play and learn from their vitality and enjoyment of the moment.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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February 6

Purpose in Life

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The same miracle that started our recovery from addiction gave us a chance for a second life. It also brought us a purpose in life. This was something we had lacked for years. This purpose for our life makes it possible to achieve a state of happiness and peace of mind.

This purpose is to help others. Unless our hearts are filled with the principles of our new way of life, we are not doing our best. The spiritual growth that comes from pursuing a purpose in life makes each day a joy for us and makes our existence worthwhile. Long-timers remind us, “Be as enthusiastic about your recovery as you were about your addiction.”

I never want to say, “This I must do.” I want to say, “This I want to do.” Serving a purpose in life is only a small repayment for the gift of recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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February 7

Discipline is the basis of a satisfying life.

~Katharine Hepburn

When trying to reach a goal, we may tire of the constant effort that is required of us, or we may rebel against the structure that’s necessary to keep us focused. We often long for what we remember as a freer, more spontaneous time in the past.

It’s helpful to remember that our goals come from our desire for change. We can see each yearning as God’s invitation for us to move in a new direction. And we can be sure that we have God as our helpmate throughout the journey wherever our destination may be.

Goals that inspire us to act bring meaning to our life. We make progress in moving toward them, and our feeling of satisfaction and renewed sense of purpose will motivate us to persevere to their completion.

The comfort of regular conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we seek always to align our goals with God’s will for us, will carry us to the fulfillment of our goals.

I will seek direction and strength from God while moving toward my goals today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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February 8

Many of us achieve only the semblance of communication with others; what we say is often not contingent on what the other has just said, and neither of us is aware that we are not communicating.

~Desy Safan-Gerard

When we don't listen fully to each other, when we don't revere the Spirit within others that's trying to talk to us, we destroy the connection that wants to be made between our Spirits. Our inner selves have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all. Our ego selves often keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives.

How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person. How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue—our own ongoing continual assessment of an* other's personhood at the very time our higher power is trying to reach us through them.

There really are no wasted words. Messages are everywhere. We can learn to listen.

I will hear just what I need to hear today. I will open myself fully to the words.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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February 9

Better to ask twice than to lose your way once.

~Danish saying

How many times have we heard that guys never want to stop and ask for directions? It is true that many of us would rather drive around searching for a place than stop and ask for help. Some of us say we enjoy solving the puzzle without asking for the answer. It’s a trait that many carry to extremes. We apply it to our lives with very serious consequences when we refuse to see a doctor for a medical condition, or we refuse to consult a therapist for personal problems, or we can’t bring ourselves to go to a Twelve Step group.

Fortunately, we don’t have to be permanently locked into those restrictions. We have now found the freedom and rich rewards that come from letting our guard down. The payoff for asking for help, and accepting it, has been far greater than the arrogance of doing everything without help.

Today, I will be open to all the help I can get.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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February 10

AA Thought for the Day

When we came into AA, we came to believe in a Power greater than ourselves. We came to believe in that Divine Principle in the universe, which we call God, to whom we can turn for help. Each morning we have a quiet time. We ask God for the power to stay sober for the next twenty-four hours. And each night we thank Him for helping us to keep sober that day. Do I believe that each person I see in AA is a demonstration of the power of God to change a human being from a drunkard to a sober person?
Meditation for the Day

I should pray for faith as a thirsty person prays for water in a desert. Do I know what it means to feel sure that God will never fail me? Am I sure of this as I am sure that I still breathe? I should pray daily and most diligently that my faith may increase. There is nothing lacking in my life because, really, all I need is mine, only I lack the faith to know it. I am like a rich person’s child who sits in rags when all around me are stores of all I could desire.
Prayer for the Day

I pray for the realization that God has everything I need. I pray that I may know that His power is always available.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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February 11

…there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.

~Booker T. Washington

It's not what we do for a job that counts, it's how we do it. It's not what our chores at home might be, it's how we do them. And it's not what grades we get in school, but rather how hard we try. Doing our best, whether it's making a bed, writing a report, or listening to a friend tell about an experience gives us a good feeling about ourselves.

Each of us is special to one another. And we are special to this very moment. Because what is past can't be repeated, let's remember to enjoy every moment as it comes. Let's pay close attention to each person, each activity that we encounter today. It's not what we do today, but how we do it that counts.

Can I do each thing well today, even the small things?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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February 12

Who is the bravest hero? He who turns his enemy into a friend.

~Hebrew proverb

In recovery we take our worst enemy, addiction, and turn it around. We were ashamed of our addiction. Over time we become proud of our recovery. We were our own worst enemy. Now we’re our own best friend. We are brave people.

Being brave is about facing our fears. Often we think brave people don’t get afraid, but this isn’t true. Brave people learn to stay put, even when their knees are shaking. Many times in recovery, we will want to run when we should stay put. We may even think about using substances again. We need to remember our bravery and how we turned our worst enemy into a friend.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, teach me when to run and when to stay put. Help me be brave.
Action for the Day

I will claim my bravery today. I’ll hold my head up high and be proud of how far I’ve come. I now have nothing to be ashamed of.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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February 13

If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.

~Isaac Bashevis Singer

Many of us have the habit of taking a negative outlook on whatever comes along. We don’t believe things will work out for us; we don’t think we will have a good day; we can’t accept our friends’ warm feelings. To follow this gloomy path is a strange distortion of faith—it is faith in the negative. Any forecast, whether hopeful or pessimistic, is a step into the unknown. So why do we choose the dark one?

We get a payoff for our pessimism, which keeps us hooked. It creates misery, but it serves our demand for control. There is more risk in being open to something positive because we cannot force positive things to occur. We can only be open to them and believe in the possibility. But when we predict the negative and expect only bad things, we squelch many good things or overlook them. Then we say, “I knew it would be this way,” and in our misery we satisfy our self-centered craving to be in charge. When we surrender our need to be in control, we are more open and welcoming of the good things that come our way.

Today, I will be open to the good that is around me.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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February 14

Expressing love

We can finally see that without a Higher Power, without love, we are powerless. It’s what we’ve been seeking for ages—and it’s been here all along; we just couldn’t see it.

We need a Higher Power. We need love. It is the answer to our problems; it can change everything. (But we have so much trouble with it!) We’re afraid of love, and we fail to give the love we have to give. Yet every expression of love is sacred, nurturing.

Am I expressing my love?

Higher Power, help me to see my best self, to express it, and to see the best in others.

I will express the love within me today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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February 15

Reflection for the Day

I will resolve to observe with new interest even the commonplace things that happen today. If I learn to see everything with a fresh eye, perhaps I’ll find I have countless reasons for contentment and gratitude. When I find myself trapped in the quicksand of my negative thoughts, I’ll turn away from them—and grab for the lifesaving strength of sharing with others in the program. Do I carry my weight as an all-important link in the worldwide chain of the program?
Today I Pray

I pray that my Higher Power will open my eyes to the smallest everyday wonders, that I may notice and list among my blessings things like just feeling good, being able to think clearly. Even when I make a simple, unimportant choice, like whether to order coffee or tea or a soft drink, may I be reminded that the power of choice is a gift.
Today I Will Remember

I am blessed with the freedom of choice.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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February 16

Good guidance comes from the right source.

Many times we have been anxious over what to do. In our youth we often followed the direction of friends. That often exaggerated our problems. As adults we looked to our peers too, but until we found our new circle of friends, we often failed to get guidance that lovingly addressed our circumstances.

It’s a treasured gift of our program to have a Higher Power who is always there with the guidance we need. But if we still feel uncertain of that guidance, we can turn to trusted friends who will share with us God’s wisdom in another way.

The anxiety that troubled us for so long seldom surfaces anymore. What a miracle that is! We thought we’d feel the tightness and the burning and the nausea for our whole life. Now when we get a twinge of it, we know the time has come to go within and ask God for the help we need.

I will get the direction, the comfort, or the answers I really need today if I ask for them from the right source. My Higher Power or my friends in the program can show me the way through my feelings.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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February 17

Doubt indulged soon becomes doubt realized.

~Frances Havergal

There is no faith without moments of doubt and deep discouragement. We may wonder whether we have chosen the right path, whether we have the courage needed to fulfill our dreams, or whether others in our lives can find the inner guidance we want for them. Perhaps we feel overwhelmed by difficulties and disappointments. We wonder what sort of Higher Power would burden us with more than we can handle.

At such times, instead of giving ourselves over to doubt or despair, we can expand our faith and envision a Higher Power that is larger than the limitations of our understanding and faith. We can envision infinite love and compassion, infinite wisdom, infinite patience and power to heal. As we affirm these qualities in our Higher Power, our own compassion, wisdom, patience, and gift for healing are fed and strengthened.

Today, I make my Higher Power larger than anything I have so far imagined.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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February 18

Saying Yes

Today let’s discuss an important word: Yes.

We can learn to say yes to things that feel good, to what we want—for ourselves and others.

We can learn to say yes to fun. Yes to meetings, to calling a friend, asking for help.

We can learn to say yes to healthy relationships, to people and activities that are good for us.

We can learn to say yes to ourselves, what we want and need, our instincts, and the leading of our Higher Power.

We can learn to say yes when it feels right to help someone. We can learn to say yes to our feelings. We can learn to identify when we need to take a walk, take a nap, have our back rubbed, or buy ourselves flowers.

We can learn to say yes to work that is right for us. We can learn to say yes to all that will nurture and nourish us. We can learn to say yes to the best life and love have to offer.

Today, I will say yes to all that feels good and right.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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February 19

The truth shall set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

~James A. Garfield

A young woman at a meeting said something that is often heard from newly recovering people: “Recovery created more problems than I had before.” The more likely reality, of course, for her and for all of us when we’re just starting out, is not that there are so many new problems, but that we are now able to see old problems that we never before saw.

Recovery creates insight—and with insight comes heightened awareness of the need for decisions. Those decisions can hurt. They can call from us the very strengths and skills we have the least of and fear the most.

Before recovery, we didn’t have to make decisions because we didn’t face our problems. After recovery begins, sure, there will be some painful decisions—but all the pain is growing pain.

I can look for ways to deal with my problems, rather than ways to avoid them.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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February 20

There’s a rhythm to flying, and it’s the rhythm of the universe.

~William Steig

Nature has a lot to teach us. One of these lessons is to stop trying to control everything and “Let go and let God.” Think of a flock of geese flying in a V-formation. What a beautiful sight! How do you think all those geese know what to do? It’s all in the rhythm of the universe.

How does a seed know when to sprout? How do our hearts know when to beat and our lungs know when to breathe? It’s all in the rhythm of the universe.

We each have a rhythm to our lives. We lost it somewhere along the way—perhaps in our active addiction, perhaps earlier. When we move too fast, we waste a lot of energy. When we move too slow, we miss out. But when we make the decision to put our life and our will into the care of our Higher Power, we will find the right rhythm for us. We just let go, and the timing will come to us as we practice listening to the rhythm of our spirit.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, teach me to live like the geese fly, with grace and direction and with my friends.

Today I will think of a time I tried to control things, when I had the timing all wrong. Then I will think of a time when everything went well, and the timing was perfect. What am I learning about rhythm and trust?

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February 21

Honesty

I hope I shall follow firmness of virtue enough to maintain that I consider the most enviable of all titles—the character of an honest man.

~George Washington

Happiness in recovery and in society depends on our honesty. We create pain for others, and ourselves, when we are dishonest. True honesty begins within each of us and flows out to touch those around us. If we are to be true to society, and to ourselves, we cannot feel one thing in our hearts and outwardly speak different views.

There is no such thing as too much honesty. When we practice honesty in all our affairs, we discover that the reason for being honest is not because it is expected of us, but because we find that honesty avoids problems and makes our life happier.

When I am honest with myself and others, I am making progress toward greatness of character.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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February 22

God delays but doesn’t forget.

~Spanish saying

It’s frustrating to get sick, lose a job, or encounter financial setbacks. We suddenly feel curtailed, with the rhythm of our lives changed in a way we never anticipated. But our Higher Power slows us down for a reason. There can be gifts in adversity. They can provide us with time alone, time to think. Being alone gives us the chance to find ourselves in a new way. We may be surprised to find inner resources we didn’t know we had. A period of waiting through adversity can also turn us to our Higher Power when the solace we need is beyond the capacity of people to give.

It’s challenging to do nothing when the world tells us that we must always take action. When action isn’t possible, accepting the circumstances of our lives enables us to experience the value of being, rather than doing.

When some part of my life is beyond my control, I can be patient and simply wait. Inaction is not necessarily inactivity.

*Meditations can be specific, but themes are universal: apply as needed on your personal journey.

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February 23

Conceit is God’s gift to little men.

~Bruce Barton

It’s easy to recognize shortcomings like conceit in others. It’s not always so easy to forgive them.

We easily love and accept people who are humble, people who show genuine concern for us and others. We’re naturally drawn to them as role models. We learn from them that positive, spiritually motivated behaviors are possible, even desirable.

But those men and women we turn away from because their unappealing behavior offends us, can teach us lessons that are perhaps even more important. Their efforts to get our attention are usually a distorted, confused cry for love and acceptance that even they might not understand. We are given an opportunity to learn tolerance, patience, forgiveness, and finally—with God’s help—genuine acceptance. Until we can learn love and acceptance for everyone, we won’t be able to fully and freely love and accept even the people we’re drawn to—or ourselves.

Today I will make a special effort to give honest and loving attention to those who are difficult for me to love.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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February 24

There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are interesting monologues, that is all.

~Rebecca West

How often we want to be heard, to be truly listened to by our spouse, our children, friends and co-workers. And we deserve to be fully attended to. So do the other persons in our lives who come to us to be heard. We let our minds wander in the midst of important messages. And we may miss the very phrase that we need to hear—the answer to a problem, perhaps. Our minds wander, randomly, looking for a place to light, unconsciously searching for peace, the serenity promised by the Twelve Steps.

Living fully in the present, soaking up all the responses of the life we are immersed in for the moment, is the closest we can get to our higher power, our God. Being there* fully—is conversation with God. How can we know all that God intends for us to know if we don't take advantage of God's many messages? Every moment of every day offers us information, divine information. Each time we turn our minds to self-centered thoughts, we're refusing the chance to grow.

As I come together with friends and family today, l will remember to listen for God's message. l will hear what I need to hear if I will but listen.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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February 25

I don’t want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.

~Henry James

When we don’t know ourselves very well, we may be desperate to have everyone like us. Sometimes we even notice more intently that one person who doesn’t seem to like us than the many who do. We are looking outward to verify that we are okay. Of course, it feels good to have someone else like and respect us. Until we begin to know and accept ourselves, we have an unquenchable, unselective thirst for more applause from others. In that condition, the search for others’ approval drives us like the need for survival.

It is amazing how our sense of ourselves grows as we live in the Twelve Step program. We get to know ourselves by working the Steps, and we develop into the kind of men we respect. Now, having others like us is no longer a survival need. It is a wonderful benefit of being part of the human community.

Today, I am grateful for the true friendships that I have in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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February 26

AA Thought for the Day

We’ve gotten rid of our false, drinking selves and found our real, sober selves. And we turn to God, our Father, for help, just as the prodigal son arose and went to his father. At the end of the story, the father of the prodigal son says: “He was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found.” We alcoholics who have found sobriety in AA were certainly dead and are alive again. We were lost and are found. Am I alive again?
Meditation for the Day

Gently breathe in God’s spirit, that spirit which, if not barred out by selfishness, will enable you to do good works. This means rather that God will be enabled to do good works through you. You can become a channel for God’s spirit to flow through you and into the lives of others. The works that you can do will only be limited by your spiritual development. Let your spirit be in harmony with God’s spirit and there is no limit to what you can do in the realm of human relationships.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may become a channel for God’s spirit. I pray that God’s spirit may flow through me into the lives of others.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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February 27

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

~Langston Hughes

Watching birds spread their wings and soar can remind us of the best in ourselves. In joyful moments we all feel our own desire to fly, to reach toward what we dream of doing.

Our dreams give us a direction to fly. Birds fly toward the light for joy, toward green leaves for shelter, to water and berries for food. In the same way, our dreams direct us to the course of our own joy, shelter, and nourishment.

Sometimes as we fly, we bump into disappointments. They may temporarily stun us or slow us down. But just like birds that are occasionally wounded, we can heal ourselves and fly again. We can choose to not let the hardships of life break our spirited wings. Rather, we can keep spreading our wings, soaring in the spirit of joy.

Am I flying today, or must I heal a wound first?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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February 28

I noticed my hopelessness was because I had lost my freedom of choice.

~Member of the AA fellowship

By doing a Fourth Step, we start to see ourselves more clearly. We see how we’ve acted against ourselves. Soon, we hear a little voice inside telling us to stop before we act. “Are you sure you want to say or do that?” the little voice asks. Then we make a choice: we do something the same old way, or we try a new way.

One part of us will always want to do things the old, sick way. This is natural. But we’re getting stronger every day. Our spirit wants to learn new ways so we can be honest and loving. Sometimes we don’t know how. But we still have a choice. We can ask for help.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen to the little voice inside that helps me see that I have choices.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll make a choice between old ways and new ways of acting. I will call my sponsor this evening to talk about my choices.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*