Today's Thought - January

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January 1

Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world.

~Margaret Mead

We are on a path of change. None of us has become perfect, but we have made significant progress. We are less the victims of old obsessions and compulsions. We’re no longer weighed down by such low self-esteem. We have begun connecting to ourselves and our Higher Power. We’ve made worthy commitments. We’re learning to trust ourselves.

Today, we are freer to rock the boat. We do not have to accept the status quo, either in our own lives or in the community and world around us. We can begin to engage in the revolutionary act of becoming fully ourselves, living our values, accepting our own power to help in the creation of understanding, love, peace, light, and brotherhood and sisterhood in the world. We can cooperate with others who share our ideals.

There is hope for the world as long as each one of us knows that we’re capable of continuing to grow and change.

Today, I help to create positive change in myself and in my world.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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January 2

Staying Out of the Middle

“I don’t want to get in the middle, but…” is a sign that we may have just stepped into the middle.

We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people’s issues, problems, or communication. We can let others take responsibility for themselves in their relationships. We can let them work out their issues with each other.

Being a peacemaker does not mean we get in the middle. We are bearers of peace by staying peaceful ourselves and not harboring turmoil. We are peacemakers by not causing the extra chaos created when we get in the middle of other people’s affairs and relationships.

Don’t get in the middle unless you want to be there.

Today, I will refuse to accept any invitations to jump in the middle of others’ affairs, issues, and relationships. I will trust others to work out their own affairs, including the ideas and feelings they want to communicate to each other.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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January 3

The endeavor, in all branches of knowledge…to see the object as in itself it really is.

~Matthew Arnold

Often we can look right at something and not see it. Sometimes we see what we expect to see, sometimes we see what we want to see, and sometimes we just plain miss what’s right there in front of us. If the brain and the heart aren’t involved, an eyewitness account may be little better than a guess.

The acquaintance who walks right by us without a word may have lost her glasses. The attractive person we’d like to meet, while appearing conceited and aloof, may be desperately struggling with shyness and fear of rejection. The snippy salesclerk may be frantic about a teenager that didn’t come home last night. Our child’s sudden good grades may be the result of cheating. A tantrum may be a cry for help.

Things are not always what they appear to be. We need more than our eyes to get the picture.

I will endeavor to see beneath the surface appearance of people and events, withholding judgment until I have the facts.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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January 4

Nature has given us two ears, but only one mouth.

~Benjamin Disraeli

We’ve all heard that we should listen twice as much as we talk. That’s pretty good advice. Listening is how we learn what works for other people like us. Listening is how we hear the experience, strength, and hope that others share with us. If we don’t listen, we won’t know how to change and grow.

But we also need to talk. We need to share what we are thinking and doing each day, and how we are feeling. There are many good things we get from talking. For example, we get a chance to listen to ourselves, and that helps us know ourselves better. We also get care, attention, and understanding. This is how we make friends. And when we talk with others, they give us feedback that can improve our ideas.

In recovery, we listen and we share. We get and we give. We find that we learn something every time we agree or disagree with someone else’s ideas. Most important, we learn how it works for others and what we can try for ourselves.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen carefully and often today. And remind me to share my thoughts, too.
Today's Action

I will list ten helpful things I learned today by listening.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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January 5

We live each day with special gifts that are a part of our very being, and life is a process of discovering and developing these God-given gifts within each one of us.

~Jeanne Dixon

As our recovery progresses, we discover ways to share ourselves with other people. We feel the desire to act on things we’ve learned and to apply them in our relationships. This way we can pass on to others the awareness and knowledge we have been given.

This wonderful urge to take action should be followed, not resisted. A spiritual awakening is just that—an awakening of the spirit, which then seeks to be part of all life itself.

When we discover our talents, whatever they are, we will be true to them and look for opportunities to use them. The challenge of doing this lets such qualities as integrity, courage, self-discipline, and compassion rise to the surface, where they become part of our daily practice. The alignment of who we are on the outside with who we are on the inside is a priceless gift of recovery.

My recovery gives me great joy. I will share that joy with others today.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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January 6

One Day at a Time

Time ripens all things. No man’s born wise.

~Miguel de Cervantes

We come to understand time in a different way. Each day we discover that there is an order to life that is only revealed day-to-day. The moments when life forces us to reconsider our schedule are no longer met with anger and frustration. We begin to trust our Higher Power to actually dictate what will happen in our lives. We find ourselves staying close to people who have developed some measure of humility for they seem to have a better sense of timing.

We remember the times when we demanded, “I want what I want when I want it.” The funny thing was, we were usually disappointed when we got what we wanted.

We are even finding a new appreciation for the seasons of the year and for our lives. We find ourselves enjoying winter just as much as summer, our old age as much as our youth. Each new day deposits within us new wisdom.

Today I will remember that rather than fighting time, I will become time’s passenger.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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January 7

There is no area of personal challenge in your life that God’s love cannot solve.

~Mary Kupferle

We seem so certain at times that we alone must find the solution to a nagging, troubling situation. As we obsessively focus our attention on the problem, we feel even greater frustration when the solution eludes us.

Most of us have heard that we keep a problem a problem by giving our attention to it—by the power we give it. What we generally forget is that placing our focus on God instead, while believing in God’s love for us and God’s concern for our plight, will reveal the solution quite quickly.

God’s love is constant. God’s willingness to care for us, always, is there to be discovered. Our challenges offer us opportunities to remember God’s presence. All challenges, though painful on occasion, are really our invitations to walk a stronger spiritual path.

God’s love accompanies me everywhere today. I won’t stumble if I remember this.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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January 8

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.

~Erica Jong

There was a time when we didn't believe we had any talents. We couldn't imagine we had any purpose or any gift to give to the world. But it's true: We all have talents, many of them. If we each haven't yet discovered ours, we soon will. With time and the Steps and friends, we will be encouraged to recognize them, to celebrate them, to cultivate them, to dare to give them away.

Utilizing our talents fully, which is part of life's bigger plan, may lead us to new jobs, new friends, to places presently unknown. The prospect of new horizons may excite us. It may also elicit dread. We can trust that, just as we are given no problems too big to handle, we are given no talents too great to develop. The strength to move ahead will always be available if we have faith. And the program offers us faith.

I will look for my talents today. l will also look for talents in my friends. I can celebrate them, and soon the way to use them will become clear.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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January 9

We only have one person to blame, and that’s each other.

~Barry Beck, NHL player

Blame is not a word that works well for us. It is an attack word, a negative assault that fails to point toward anything better. Much better is the word responsible. When a man opens a door and accidentally knocks down a child on the other side, he is responsible for his action, and he reaches down to help the child up again. It is nothing to be ashamed of or blamed for. He isn’t a bad person for doing that. But he takes responsibility.

Blame and responsibility are difficult matters for us to separate. Many of us have felt blamed and shamed from our earliest memories. As a result, when we are responsible, we have a knee-jerk impulse to feel ashamed. But taking responsibility without shame is what a strong man does. We can learn to separate them, and as we do, our self-esteem rises.

Today, I will take responsibility for my actions and respect myself for doing so.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 10

AA Thought for the Day

Before we decide to quit drinking, most of us have to come up against a blank wall. We see that we’re licked, that we have to quit. But we don’t know which way to turn for help. There seems to be no door in that blank wall. AA opens the door that leads to sobriety. By encouraging us to honestly admit that we’re alcoholics and to realize that we can’t take even one drink, and by showing us which way to turn for help, AA opens the door in that blank wall. Have I gone through that door to sobriety?
Meditation for the Day

I must have a singleness of purpose to do my part in God’s work. I must not let material distractions interfere with my job of improving personal relationships. It is easy to become distracted by material affairs, so that I lose my singleness of purpose. I do not have time to be concerned about the multifarious concerns of the world. I must concentrate and specialize on what I can do best.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not become distracted by material affairs. I pray that I may concentrate on doing what I can do best.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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January 11

Come stand by my side where I'm going,
Take my hand if I stumble and fall
It's the strength that you share when you're growing
That gives me what I need most of all.

~Hoyt Axton

The bear cub was miserable. Her father, the leader of the pack, had left a month ago to find them winter shelter and had not yet returned. Everyone went on as if nothing had changed.

One evening the cub had a dream in which her father appeared and said, "Daughter, I know you grieve for me, but your burden is too heavy to carry alone. Share it with the others and let them comfort you. Sharing will only lighten your load, and if you can accept help now you will find it easier to give when others are in need."

The next morning the little cub woke with a much lighter heart. As it turns out, everyone in the pack shared the same dream. There was much hugging and crying and reaching out and healing.

We can easily lighten our loads by asking support from those who love us, knowing our turn to help will come.

What help can I ask for today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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January 12

This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing.

~Margaret Atwood

Men have often become victims by seeing themselves as saviors. We forgot that we have needs too. We thought if we gave enough, our needs would eventually be met. In the process, we became great controllers, not for the sake of power, but to make everything okay. We turn ourselves inside out to make our mates happy or to please our children or friends. But being a savior is a disrespectful role to play. When people became angry with us for it, we absorbed their anger and felt misunderstood.

No relationship is healthy for either person if one is a victim. We must do our loved ones the favor of letting them see our strength—let them bump up against it—even when that means we say a loud and strong no! After we have said no, our yes is much more believable.

Today, I will take responsibility for my own life and try not to be a savior for others. I won’t undermine my relationships by being a victim.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 13

Living today well

Our Higher Power’s will for us is always better than our own, but we cannot see this truth unless we let go enough to venture into the new areas to which we are being led. To experience growth, we must let go of old ideas. (Our old ideas fit only our drug-centered world.) Each day, well lived, moves us closer to what we are seeking. We must become more giving and more willing to use what we have today. Am I living today well?

Higher Power, help me accept your will for me today.

I will live today well by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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January 14

Reflection for the Day

If a person with a substance use disorder or an addiction wants to live a full life in recovery, the power a substance holds must be replaced with something else—preferably a positive force, but at least a neutral influence. It is important not to replace a negative with another negative. In Twelve Step programs, that is why we say to the agnostic newcomer: If you can’t believe in God, find a positive power that is as great as the power of your addiction, and give it the power and dependence you gave to your addiction. In the program, the agnostic is left free to find their Higher Power and can use the principles of the program and the therapy of the meetings to aid in rebuilding their life. Do I go out of my way to work with newcomers?
Today I Pray

May the Power of the program work its miracles. If newcomers are disturbed by the religiosity of the program, may I welcome them on their own spiritual terms. May I recognize that we are all spiritual beings.
Today I Will Remember

To each their own spirituality.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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January 15

Detachment is always possible.

We can take our feelings and our minds on a “mini-trip” every time the people in our lives get abusive or the circumstances in our lives get too demanding. But we don’t have to deny our emotions and let others control how we feel and what we do. For many of us, this is an astonishing revelation. We never understood how able we really were to decide what we would feel.

Detachment sounds more mysterious than it really is. At first we may think it means we can’t care about our loved ones anymore. Actually, letting others alone to do what they will and practicing acceptance are far more caring. Detaching is acknowledging that each of us is responsible for our own journey.

My journey will be what I make it today. I will detach with love.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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January 16

Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

~William Morris

When our homes and other environments in which we spend time reflect our sense of beauty and harmony, we feel pleasure and peacefulness. Similarly, when our actions and our connections with others embody our best sense of ourselves, our day is a source of satisfaction and serenity.

Just as we can eliminate clothes we no longer wear from our closets and objects from our homes that no longer reflect who we are, we can let go of behaviors and attitudes that no longer serve the needs of our spirit. Housecleaning, whether literal or figurative, comes from a state of mind that is willing to let go. The past is past. We can make room for the ways that we are healing, growing, and changing.

Instead of dreading to let go of what is no longer beautiful, we can feel exhilaration. We are clearing a space for the unexpected.

Today, I let go of the past and make room for new and unexpected beauty in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

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Jamuary 17

I have a dream!

~Martin Luther King Jr.

During our addiction, maybe we dreamed of joy and laughter with our family—only to find tears and anger. Maybe we dreamed of respect at our job—only to be fired. Our dreams began to feel like burdens. We had lost hope.

With recovery, the hope starts to return. We start to trust ourselves again. We start to trust others again. We start to trust in our Higher Power. Over time, we even dare to dream again. In our dreams, we are loving people. We have something to offer others. We are not scared. This is a sign that hope is returning. We fall in love again with the world, our Higher Power, and ourselves.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank You for giving back my future. Thank You for giving back my dreams.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll tell my dreams to a friend. Do my future dreams include improving myself through the program?

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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January 18

Perfectionism

Recovery from codependency is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems, and facing tough issues.

Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows this process; it puts us in a guilty and anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive; it makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth.

People are human and vulnerable, and that is wonderful. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in that codependent state of moral superiority. Expecting ourselves to be perfect makes us feel rigid and inferior.

We can let go of both ideas.

We do not need to go to the other extreme, tolerating anything people throw our way. We can still expect appropriate, responsible behavior from ourselves. But most of us can afford to loosen up a bit. And when we stop expecting others to be perfect, we may discover that they’re doing much better than we thought. When we stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, we’ll discover the beauty in ourselves.

Today, I will practice tolerance, acceptance, and love of others as they are, and myself as I am. I will strive for that balance between expecting too much and expecting too little from others and myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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January 19

Through our own recovered innocence, we discern the innocence of our neighbors.

~Henry David Thoreau

From time to time, we get tired of hearing the word “community.” Perhaps the word itself has been overused to the point of meaninglessness. Or perhaps deep inside we fear that the community will rob us of our individuality. But that just isn’t so. Both a community and a crowd are made up of individuals. The difference is in the way the individuals react to one another.

A mob is mindless—it doesn’t matter who its members are. A community, on the other hand, is authentic because it’s made up of separate, distinct people. Without the diverse relationships within the group, a would-be community could never get off the ground.

Within the growing community of adult children, all members are unique, valued, and accepted “as is.” We are one because we are many.

I am comforted by seeing the good within us all, because that means I am finding more worthwhile qualities within myself.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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January 20

I was as hollow and empty as the spaces between the stars.

~Raymond Chandler

As our illness progressed, we became empty and hollow. We humans need real connections with other people, our Higher Power, our values, and ourselves. Our illness leads us to betray all of these connections. Addiction gives us an illusion of connection as long as we stay in the trance. When the trance ends, the emptiness appears, and we get scared and run back to the high. The end result of addiction is total aloneness, total emptiness. Our addiction pushes away the things that feed our hearts and souls.

Recovery asks that we open up our hearts and souls to be filled again. But to do this, we must face the emptiness of our addiction and then ask for help. We need to ask others and our Higher Power to help and teach us how to be humans instead of addicts.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be open to the teachings, tasks, and gifts of recovery. Fill me with your presence.
Today's Action

Today I will make a list of ways that my drinking or drugging emptied my heart and soul. I will share my list with my sponsor or another recovery friend.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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January 21

Dedication

We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.

~Anonymous

The best thing for us to do in our Twelve Step program is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.

We can’t think for others, and they can’t think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. We often hear, “Take what you need and leave the rest.”

As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won’t be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people’s ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can’t be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them.

Am I dedicated to the beliefs that are best for me in my recovery?

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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January 22

Judge people by their questions rather than by their answers.

~Voltaire

Addicts tend to be talkative people. For some of us, it may be that we’ve spent too long alone and are dying for company. At other times, we may have things to hide and we talk to cover up. Talking nonstop is one good way to avoid asking the hard questions. It can also keep us from really listening and providing thoughtful answers. We all need to talk, but we also need to take time to be silent. In silence we can assess ourselves and our position in the world, and examine the things we want and need to know.

Our programs give us the opportunity to sit and be quiet with ourselves and listen to others. When someone is explaining a Step or telling their story, we can learn simply by listening and formulating the questions we need to ask during the discussion. A good question is worth a thousand thoughtless words.

I will take time this week to be silent and think about what I’ve learned about myself and the people around me. This will enhance my recovery and service to others.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

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January 23

I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience, most of them are trash.

~Sigmund Freud

The father of psychoanalysis sheds more light on himself, in the above comment, than he does on his fellow human beings. God doesn’t make trash, but coming from someone who spent his life probing the human psyche to find out why people do bad things, Freud’s comment may be understandable. He contributed much to understanding the workings of the human psyche, but little to the understanding of our worthiness.

Our program’s approach to recovery from illness stresses the good. We take a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, but we don’t dwell on our mistakes. We ask forgiveness, make amends, and put our mistakes behind us. Then we look for and find the expression of God in each other.

I put my mistakes behind me and ask God to bring out the good.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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January 24

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.

~Hebrews 13:2

Recovery is a very democratic thing. No matter how far down a man has fallen, no matter how bad his life choices have been or how much he has given up for his addiction and codependency, he deserves our basic human respect. We all are created in the image of God. There is something of God within everyone.

When we go to our meetings, we meet many kinds of people. Some of them we have more in common with than others. Some of them we will feel closer to than others. But we are all creatures of the universe, and we are all equally loved by God. We may feel critical of someone’s behavior, but ultimately we are called to respect everyone as fellow human beings seeking a path through life.

Today, I accept the love of God and pledge to show respect to everyone I meet.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 25

It seems to me that I have always been waiting for something better—sometimes to see the best I had snatched from me.

~Dorothy Reed Mendenhall

Gratitude for what is prepares us for the blessings just around the corner. What is so necessary to understand is that our wait for what's around the corner closes our eyes to the joys of the present moment.

We have only the 24 hours ahead of us. In fact, all we can be certain of having is the moment we are presently experiencing. And it is a gift to be enjoyed. There is no better gift just right for us than this moment, at this time.

We can, each of us, look back on former days, realizing that we learned too late the value of a friend or an experience. Both are now gone. With practice and a commitment to ourselves, we can learn to reap the benefits of today, hour by hour. When we detach from the present and wait for tomorrow, or next week, or look to next year, we are stunting our spiritual growth. Life can only bless us now, one breath at a time.

I can live in the present if I choose to. Gentle reminders are often necessary, however. I will step into my life, today. It can become a habit—one I will never want to break.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

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January 26

AA Thought for the Day

As I look back over my drinking career, have I learned that you take out of life what you put into it? When I put drinking into my life, did I take out a lot of bad things? Time in the hospital with the DTs? Jail sentences for drunken driving? Loss of job? Loss of home and family? When I put drinking into my life, was almost everything I took out bad?
Meditation for the Day

I should strive for a friendliness and helpfulness that may affect all who come near to me. I should try to see something to love in them. I should welcome them, bestow little courtesies and understandings on them, and help them if they ask for help. I must send no one away without a word of cheer, a feeling that I really care about them. God may have put the impulse in some despairing person’s mind to come to me. I must not fail God by repulsing that person. They may not want to communicate with me unless they are sure of a warm welcome.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may warmly welcome all who come to me for help. I pray that I may make them feel that I really care.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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January 27

I measure every grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes—
I wonder if it weighs like mine—
Or has an easier size.

~Emily Dickinson

How can we measure all the grief we feel, and how can we put up with it? Doesn't the Grief of Death weigh a ton or more? Doesn't it stretch out to a month, a year, or longer still? Is the Grief of Failure lighter than the Grief of Despair, but maybe longer? Isn't the Grief of Emptiness the heaviest of all?

Whether we try to ignore or make light of it, our grief, like a ton of feathers or a ton of rocks, is all the same to us. This much is sure: if we lock our grief in, it will weigh more on us and lengthen out; if we open our hearts with weeping and words, others will help carry it away.

What old sadness can I let go of by sharing it today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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January 28

It’s a simple formula: Do your best and somebody might like it.

~Dorothy Baker

Our program is a selfish program. It tells us to let go of what others think. We’re staying sober for ourselves, not for anyone else. Our body and our spirit are at stake. And we know what we need to do to stay sober. If we feel shaky about going to a party, we don’t go—no matter who gets upset. If our job makes it hard to stay sober, we get a different one—no matter who gets upset. It’s simple.

We must take good care of ourselves before we can be good to others. In doing this, we learn how to be a friend, a good parent, a good spouse. We have to care for ourselves to have good relationships. Do I believe it’s okay to be selfish when it comes to my program?
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me do what is best for my recovery, no matter what others think.
Action for the Day

I will remind myself that staying sober is simple. I don’t use substances. And I work the program.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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January 29

The universe is the primary revelation of the divine, the primary scripture, the primary focus of divine?human communion.

~Thomas Berry

In this program, we learn about being receptive. A man in search of conscious contact with a Higher Power can simply stand still and open his eyes and ears to creation. Forcing a spiritual awareness is mostly wasted effort. Learning theology doesn’t create a spiritual experience either. We only need to see and hear what is around us. This is a vast and marvelous universe, and it speaks for itself. It has always been there, and when we are ready to receive the message, we will.

It stirs our spirit to be at a meeting and hear another man describe the awakening of his spirituality. As we men become more receptive to the spiritual, we open a whole new realm in our lives.

May my growing ability to be a receptive man lead me to a deeper spiritual contact.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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January 30

Growing

We all perform on two stages: one public, one private. The public stage is what we do and say. The private stage is what we think and what we rehearse in our minds to do on the public stage. Even though we may never perform it, what we rehearse in our minds helps mold our characters and guide our actions.

Are we rehearsing anger, fights, and what we’re going to tell that annoying person next time? Are we rehearsing drug use, the old ways of living? If so, we are risking the recovery we have achieved.

To keep growing and to keep building character, we need to rehearse kindness, patience, and love. We need to practice awareness of our Higher Power in our lives.

Am I growing?

May I practice kindness, patience, and love in all my affairs today.

Today I will seek to grow by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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January 31

Real friends are those who, when you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel that you’ve done a permanent job.

~Erwin T. Randall

Friendship is one of the most important elements in a rich and joyful life. Good mental health requires that we not walk through life without one or two good friends. Many of us have been very lonely. We built invisible shields around ourselves that protected us from letting others know what we were thinking or doing, but they also separated us from the comfortable closeness of good friends. Many of us have a deep and abiding anxiety about being vulnerable to anyone, and many of us are especially guarded about getting close to other men.

In our growth as men, we are abandoning notions of perfection in ourselves and in others. We don’t expect perfection, and we can expect our friends to cut us some slack when they see our mistakes and our weaknesses. True friends see in each other a complex weaving of many qualities, many experiences, and a mixture of more and less attractive qualities.

Today, I will give my friendships the primary place they deserve.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*