It Works Then It Doesn't

[roverl0616]

What a surprise I had when I first started to get drunk and high. I didn't necessarily care for the way both made me feel, but I loved the fact that I was relieved from the way I had always felt. It was the first time I just didn't care about myself or anyone else for that matter and this felt so good. Just like a big burden had been lifted off me. I would do just about anything to have more of that, and I did. I was off to the races. I became dependent on alcohol and drugs to solve my problems from addiction. It works then it doesn't. I became very confused as to why it stopped working. I thought maybe by using more it would work again. It did for a while but then it stopped working again I couldn't get enough. I later found this was because this never addresses the problems of addiction; it just temporarily masks them. For me this lasted for about 10 years after that the last 3 years of my drinking and drugging were total Hell. When I began recovery not only had I become alcohol and drug dependent I still had all the malfunctions that came from addiction that had never been treated or diagnosed in my entire life.