Today's Thought - May

[bluidkiti]

May 1

Hope and patience are two sovereign remedies for all, the surest reposals, the softest cushions to lean on in adversity.

~Robert Burton

It is just as easy to think “I can” as it is to think “I can’t.” Both attitudes are habitual orientations to life that can become automatic with practice. Neither attitude has as much to do with the task at hand as it does with the inner spirit of the person facing the task. In either case, the task is the same—only the attitude is different.

But what a difference! The “I can” people are the ones we want to spend time with and to use as models. These are the people who either have never lost, or have worked to regain the positive outlook we are all born with. It never occurs to a baby, for example, that all that staggering and falling means he or she will never learn to walk. Babies grow, move forward, succeed. They haven’t learned to hang back or fear defeat. Knee-jerk negativity is something we can all do without. Let’s backtrack to that time in our lives when all things were possible…because they still are.

Today, I will focus on my successes. “I can” is my credo.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

[bluidkiti]

May 2

It got to the point that I felt even my own shadow was against me.

~Anonymous

Often during our active addiction, we trusted no one. We felt everyone was out to get us, out to cheat us. We became the kings and queens of self-pity. The reality was, we were being cheated, but not by others. An illness called addiction cheated us out of our dignity and integrity. It brought out the worst in us. It was very unpleasant, and we became very unpleasant to be around.

Recovery asks us to step past the blaming and self-pity, and see our illness as the cheat. We do inventories in order to see past the denial and see the values we believe in. We work to better ourselves in order to have a pleasant life and be pleasant people. We stop seeing ourselves as entitled. Instead we see what needs to be done.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be of service and move past my self-pity.
Today's Action

Today I will list my favorite ways to feel sorry for myself. I will read this list to my group members and ask them to confront me if they see me using any of these.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

[bluidkiti]

May 3

The words “I am…” are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.

~A. L. Kitselman

Today is our chance to leave the past behind and live in the present. It doesn’t matter what we did as a practicing addict. If we’re abstinent today, if we’re working our program today, if we’re doing the best we can today, that’s all that counts.

It’s easy to live in the shame and negativity of the past without even realizing it. But those days are over—we don’t live that life anymore. We can forgive ourselves or someone else today, and let our changed life be our amends for the past.

Forgiveness, gratitude, intimacy, gentleness, honesty: these are the gifts we give to ourselves and others when we live in the present.

How do I feel right now? Do I feel serene, or is something bothering me? Being honest about what’s going on with me is a good way to live in the present.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

[bluidkiti]

May 4

By accepting God’s help we learn to think clearly, to play fairly, and to give generously.

~Bill P. & Fred H.

Our values change in recovery as we become less and less selfish. The value screen through which we see life is changed. We no longer ask what everyone can do for us; we ask what we can do for them. We no longer seek out situations that only comfort us; we discover ways to comfort. We find that we feel better about ourselves when we help others. We learn from our program that what we have been searching for our whole lives is wrapped up in service to others.

The valuable relationship is the one that creates a closer contact with our Higher Power, so we seek out situations and people that bring us into closer contact. The values we show in the work of recovery look different from the ones we once held. Every day brings a new chance to become a conductor of life.

My values no longer change with every passing fancy. My life is beginning to mean something and to count for things that are good.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

[bluidkiti]

May 5

We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves.

~C. S. Lewis

People today are taught at an early age to be self-sufficient. Independence is considered a strength, and dependence a weakness. As a result, we come to believe that we can make it on our own. And we can, but at what cost? Many of us fill our loneliness with chemical substances. Humans are social creatures; we need each other for physical and emotional support, and for a healthy exchange of ideas.

Even more, we need each other for spiritual development. God loves us equally and often speaks to us through one another. We truly learn about our spiritual nature in the loving acts we exchange.

I am never lonely when showing someone that I care.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

[bluidkiti]

May 6

Make yourself a blessing to someone. Your kind smile or pat on the back just might pull someone back from the edge.

~Carmelia Elliott

Someone will be helped today by our kindness. Compassionate attention assures others that they do matter, and every one of us needs that reassurance occasionally. The program has given us the vehicle for giving and seeking the help we need—it's sponsorship.

Not all of the people we encounter share our program, however. Sponsorship as we know it isn't a reality in their lives. Offering words of encouragement to them, or a willing ear, can be unexpected gifts. They will be deeply appreciated.

The real gift, though, is to ourselves. Helping someone in need benefits the helper even more. Our own closeness to God and thus assurance about our own being is strengthened each time we do God's work—each time we do what our hearts direct.

We are healed in our healing of others. God speaks to us through our words to others. Our own well-being is enhanced each time we put someone else's well-being first.

We're all on a trip, following different road maps, but to the same destination. I will be ready to lend a helping hand to a troubled traveler today. It will breathe new life into my own trip.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

[bluidkiti]

May 7

No man who sets out to achieve total masculinity can ever be man enough.

~Frank Pittman

Some people attack the whole idea of masculinity as a problem in the world. They claim it is the cause of wars, abuse, and the reckless pursuit of power. As grown-up men, we know that those people are speaking of masculinity that has not grown up. Boys trying to be men take the appearance of masculinity to extremes. They look at masculinity from the outside: they know they have not yet achieved it, so they try to imitate it.

As adult men, we have come to terms with ourselves and with life. We carry the values of strength and protection of those we love, and we value our virility for all its pleasures. We also know from life experience that all men are complex; we don’t need to hide our vulnerability in order to be strong. We don’t have to worry about our masculinity, because that is a given. We don’t have to prove it to ourselves or anyone else. From that grown-up perspective, we accept ourselves as both strong and gentle, capable both of fighting for what we believe in and yielding to others when that’s what’s called for.

Today, I accept that I have nothing to prove about being a man, and I can grow in all the ways any adult needs to continue to grow.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

May 8

When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”

~Sydney J. Harris

There is no question—life is hard at times. None of us escapes trials and challenges. And some of us truly seem to have more of them than others. So what are we to do with that realization? We cannot control most of what happens to us. We can only control how we respond to it. No two paths are the same. Self-pity is the response of someone who hasn’t yet learned to deal with adult life. Feeling sorry for ourselves is like having a hole in a bucket that allows our spirit and our strength to drain away.

Instead of reacting with self-pity, we remind ourselves that all things change and the difficulty we face today will also change. What is harder for us today will be easier tomorrow. We will have times of peace and satisfaction. Best of all, when we play a bad hand well, we have peace of mind, our inner strength grows, and we have something more in our bank of knowledge.

Today, I am grateful for life itself.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

May 9

…sparrow, your message is clear: it is not too late for my singing.

~Tess Gallagher

There was once a mother who loved to hang the laundry out on the clothesline in the backyard. Her baby crawled through the sheets and towels that almost touched the grass. The baby didn't talk yet, so nobody knew what she was thinking.

Ten years later, the baby, twelve years old, told her that her happiest memory of childhood was playing in her "playhouse" of laundry on the line. She remembered thinking that her mother hung the sheers out there just so she could play in the grass and wind and sun!

How wonderful to be living in a world where we can accidentally make people happy! This knowledge is a miraculous gift, and can give us reason to do every task well and with love, because it may be remembered for a lifetime by someone near to us.

What happy memory do I have of childhood?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

[bluidkiti]

May 10

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

~AA saying

Before recovery, we never thought we had enough alcohol or other drugs. More would make us feel better, we thought. Sometimes, we are like this in our recovery too. We know we need to change, so we want to do it all right now. If we can just change ourselves totally, we’ll feel better, we think.

But we can’t change all at once. If we ask our Higher Power to take charge of our lives, we’ll have the chance to change a little at a time. We’ll learn the right things when we need to know them.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me fix what needs fixing today.
Action for the Day

I’ll make a list of what is broken. Which things on my list can I fix today?

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

[bluidkiti]

May 11

The fir tree has no choice about starting its life in the crack of a rock. Yet at the top some twigs hold their green needles year after year, giving proof that misshapen, imperfect, scarred—the tree lives.

~Harriet Arrow

We often wish we had been born into better circumstances or blame our parents for our problems. Like the fir tree we could say, “If only I had taken sprout in a fertile meadow, life would be easier.” “If only I had had a better life as a boy” “If only I didn’t have my particular hardships”

By accepting the facts of our own lives, we mature into feelings of joy and pleasure alongside our griefs. Every man has to struggle with his own unique set of circumstances, even if they are not fair. Fairness is not an issue. Reality is what we have to deal with.

I will accept life on its own terms and rejoice in it.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

May 12

Turning it over

It is true that if we turn our wills and our lives over to our Higher Power, our problems will be lifted. It is easier to speak this truth than to live it.

Looking back, we see that following our own will has caused serious problems in our lives. Let’s give this truth a chance. Let’s pray, meditate, listen, and believe.

Am I turning it over?

Higher Power, help me to stop holding on so tight and to have faith.

Today I will turn my will over to my Higher Power by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

[bluidkiti]

May 13

Reflection for the Day

Why don’t I spend part of today thinking about my assets rather than my liabilities? Why not think about victories instead of defeats—about the ways in which I am gentle and kind? It’s always been my tendency to fall into a sort of cynical self-hypnosis, putting derogatory labels on practically everything I’ve done, said, or felt. Just for today, I’ll spend a quiet half hour trying to gain a more positive perspective on my life. Do I have the courage to change the things I can?
Today I Pray

Through quietness and a reassessment of myself, may I develop a more positive attitude. If I am part of something bigger than myself, created in the image of a Higher Power, there must be goodness in me. I will think about that goodness and the ways it manifests itself. I will stop putting myself down, even in my secret thoughts. I will respect what reflects my Higher Power. I will respect myself.
Today I Will Remember

Self-respect is respect for our Higher Power.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

[bluidkiti]

May 14

Alcoholics suffer from “self-will run riot.” We do too!

Being certain that we were right, that our way was the right way, was part of our old lives. Many of us fell into the habit of picking up the pieces when a spouse or other family member made a mess of some situation. And that fueled our belief that we knew best.

In regard to some circumstances, we probably do know best. After all, each of us is right some of the time. But learning to back off from a situation, even when it appears we are right, empowers us. Not having to be right gives us a new freedom. It lessens the tension between us and other people. It relieves us of the burden of trying to make outcomes match our expectations.

Our path through life will be easier to navigate if we try to be right only regarding ourselves.

Today I will only decide what’s right for me.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

[bluidkiti]

May 15

To be reliable means to show up and to be trustworthy. Bumper sticker wisdom reminds us: you must be present to win. For anything of any import to occur in any situation, we must first be in attendance, available with our time, energy, and talents. How many times did we get nothing—and contribute nothing—to group counseling sessions when we first started in recovery, because we were somewhere else in our hearts and in our heads?

So showing up is the first requirement, but then we must also be willing to honor our word and actually follow through. When we do this, we gradually learn the critical importance of doing what we said we would do, even if we encounter difficulties. This opens the door to other important lessons, including the value of asking for help while we are doing our best to stay true to our intent.

And being trustworthy also includes holding close anything confidential someone else shares with us—in or out of a Twelve Step program setting. When we put the concept of reliability into practice, we nurture many positive attributes: being present, asking for support, keeping our word, and following through with our actions.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

[bluidkiti]

May 16

Recognizing Choices

We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see. We may feel trapped in our relationships, our jobs, our life. We may feel locked into behaviors—such as caretaking or controlling.

Feeling trapped is a symptom of codependency. When we hear ourselves say, “I have to take care of this person.” “I have to say yes…” “I have to try to control that person.” “I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way…” we can know we are choosing not to see choices.

That sense of being trapped is an illusion. We are not controlled by circumstances, our past, the expectations of others, or our unhealthy expectations for ourselves. We can choose what feels right for us, without guilt. We have options.

Recovery is not about behaving perfectly or according to anyone else’s rules. More than anything else, recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose.

Today, I will open my thinking and myself to the choices available to me. I will make choices that are good for me.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

[bluidkiti]

May 17

Genuine self-love is the greatest protection against dependent relationships.

~Robert Coleman

Adult children meetings can help people who are struggling for emotional independence. As one woman shared, “I’ve taken any kind of treatment just to ‘have a man.’ To save my self-esteem, I’ve just ended a bad relationship. But it’s still hard. Sometimes I feel so terrified I just want to run to him—but I haven’t. Each day I stay put I count as a success.”

Like many before her, this woman is learning the difference between love and dependency. She is thinking new thoughts and coming up with better options. In working her program, she is focusing on her own needs rather than someone else’s. By acknowledging that she has always been accepted by her Higher Power, she is seeing her baby steps turn into a giant leap toward the independence of genuine self-worth.

I will learn to take care of myself, understanding that as I do so my vulnerability to dependent relationships lessens.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

[bluidkiti]

May 18

Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.

~George Eliot

Who are we, really? It seems like we are one person on the inside, and yet we often act like someone else. Can a good person do bad things? Can a bad person do good things? It’s pretty confusing, isn’t it?

Our recovery program teaches us that we can change who we are by changing the things we do. We can become the kind of person we want to be by acting as if we are already that person. For example, if we want to be sober, we can act as if we are a sober person; that is, don’t drink, and don’t hang out in places where people go to drink. If we want to be a caring person, we can do caring actions for others.

We are the person we feel like on the inside. We are also the person we act like on the outside. In recovery, we change how we think, feel, and act. We practice making changes in each of these areas, and every time we do well in one area, we help in the others, too.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me become the person I want to be by changing how I act, how I feel, and how I think. I am sick and tired of acting, feeling, and thinking like an addict.
Today's Action

Today I will watch how I think, feel, and act. I will remind myself to think, feel, and act like the person I want to be.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

[bluidkiti]

May 19

Sorrow you can hold, however desolating, if nobody speaks to you. If they speak, you break down.

~Bede Jarrett

Who among us has not known the loneliness of this addiction: the shame, the despair, the feeling of utter abandonment by other people, and the terror of being out of control? When calling an old lover or finding ourselves in the wrong part of town, we feel fearful, separate. We think, “I’m not like other people; they don’t do these things.” This is the message of our addiction. It says to us, “You are an outcast. You need me because you’re nothing without me. You’re worthless.”

As we recover, we discover that our addiction is a liar. We are not worthless, and we are not alone. We are a group of people recovering together, helping each other along.

And so, when you are in pain and unable to speak, I will be your voice. You will be my voice. I will be your heart. You will be my heart. We will hold each other up, and we, with the help of a Higher Power, will quite literally love each other into recovery.

God, I thank you for bringing me into recovery. Let me show you my gratitude by growing in my recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

[bluidkiti]

May 20

F.E.A.R. = Frustration, Ego, Anxiety, and Resentment

~Anonymous

We don’t want to return to the life we led before recovery, but fear should never be the reason why we don’t. Fear keeps us from being open to the program. If we’re only in the program because we’re afraid of the old way of life, we’ll never pay attention and open our souls to learn about the new. We’ll be too busy looking back over our shoulders to make sure the old life isn’t creeping up on us.

We have to want the program out of a desire for a new life, not out of a fear of the old. Positive thinking and behavior will be in charge if we are to make any character growth. Every fear encourages negative thinking that can destroy us. Guilt and shame come from the past, just like fear. If those feelings are what drive us, we will never grow.

I will make it a practice to take note of my fears. I will take an inventory of each fear until I understand what caused it. Then I will be able to find a way to work through them.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

[bluidkiti]

May 21

My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between I occupy myself as best I can.

~Cary Grant

We need balance in our life. Both quiet times for introspection and meaningful activities that take us outside of ourselves enhance our emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

Too much self-absorption and too little attention to other people can impoverish us emotionally. Likewise, always seeking distractions and having to constantly be in the thick of things can cut us off from our deeper spiritual resources.

The least stressful and most productive plan for our daily recovery is to strive for moderation in all our activities and simplicity in our self-analysis. Our inner wisdom will guide us when we acknowledge the direction from our Higher Power that emerges in the quiet places of our mind. Then we can give our attention to other people and better acknowledge, praise, and love them.

I will find time for both quiet meditation and involvement with others today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

[bluidkiti]

May 22

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.

~Anne Frank

We must take responsibility for ourselves, for who we become, for how we live each day. The temptation to blame others may be ever present. And much of our past adds up to wasted days or years perhaps, because we did blame someone else for the unhappiness in our lives.

We may have blamed our own parents for not loving us enough. We may have labeled our husbands the villains. Other people did affect us. That's true. However, we chose, you and I, to let them control us, overwhelm us, shame us. We always had other options, but we didn't choose them.

Today is a new day. Recovery has opened up our options. We are learning who we are and how we want to live our lives. How exhilarating to know that you and l can take today and put our own special flavor in it. We can meet our personal needs. We can, with anticipation, change our course. The days of passivity are over, if we choose to move ahead with this day.

l will look to this day. Every day is a new beginning.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

[bluidkiti]

May 23

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.

~Sally Koch

From its earliest days, the Twelve Step program began with the Twelfth Step. When a certain recovering man in Ohio was tentatively making his way into sobriety, day by day, he quickly realized that his progress depended on telling his story to other suffering alcoholics. He realized that by helping others, he was helping himself stay sober.

A fundamental rule of good mental health is to be helpful to others. We can do that by telling our story: where we were and how far we have come. But helpfulness is an attitude. We can cultivate this attitude, looking for ways to be helpful while not taking on a caretaking role. Generosity of spirit in all our dealings with others, without looking for anything in return, creates a feeling of connection with others. Helping others can also dispel depression and self-pity.

Today, I will look for ways to be helpful and generous to others.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

May 24

AA Thought for the Day

Over a period of drinking years, we’ve proved to ourselves and to everybody else that we can’t stop drinking by our own willpower. We have been proved helpless before the power of alcohol. So the only way we could stop drinking was by turning to a Power greater than ourselves. We call that Power God. The time that you really get this program is when you get down on your knees and surrender yourself to God, as you understand Him. Surrender means putting your life into God’s hands. Have I made a promise to God that I will try to live the way He wants me to live?
Meditation for the Day

Spirit-power comes from communication with God in prayer and times of quiet meditation. I must constantly seek spirit-communication with God. This is a matter directly between me and God. Those who seek it through the medium of the church do not always get the joy and the wonder of spirit-communication with God. From this communication comes life, joy, peace, and healing. Many people do not realize the power that can come to them from direct spirit-communication.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may feel that God’s power is mine. I pray that I may be able to face anything through that power.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

[bluidkiti]

May 25

Life deals more rigorously with some than others.

~Lewis F. Presnall

How often we think about a friend, He sure is lucky! And probably just as often we say to ourselves, why did that happen to me? It's not fair! The truth is, life isn't always fair. We don't all get the same experiences, the same lessons. But we each learn what we need to learn in order to fulfill our destiny.

We have to learn to trust. Maybe a bike gets stolen or a friend moves away. It's not easy to accept such things as these, but we must all learn to understand and accept losses in our lives.

Perhaps we fail a test. The lesson we learn from this may be to study harder or to consider a different course of study in school. There are always reasons for why things happen, but we don't have to know them.

Can I trust in the lessons of my failures today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

[bluidkiti]

May 26

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

~Oscar Wilde

We all change. We learn, and change, and grow. We once made alcohol or other drugs our Higher Power. Perhaps we had other Higher Powers too—like money, gambling, food, or sex. But it’s never too late to be in touch with a true Higher Power. Each day we do this, we deepen our recovery. Each day we follow a false higher power, we feed our disease.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me put my life and will in Your hands today. Help me be a saint, just for today.
Action for the Day

How have my ideas about saints and sinners changed since I got into a Twelve Step program? I’ll talk with my sponsor about it today.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

[bluidkiti]

May 27

No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in.

~Gail Sheehy

We usually think of children going through stages. If we talk about a man going through a stage, there is usually a tone of a put-down in it. But adults go through stages in their lives too. We have different drives and needs at 22 than we had at 16. Age 40 brings a different experience than 30. It would be sad to reach age 60 or 70 and have no more wisdom than we had twenty years earlier. An adult life crisis can come anytime. We may have grown out of a formerly comfortable job. Perhaps we feel new urgings for a more satisfactory relationship than we have settled for. From our recovery experience, we know that crisis can bring growth.

Courage is required of us from the cradle to the grave. Change continues throughout life. With courage, we can face our crises and the changes that come, and eventually we find the gift of new growth.

Help me find courage enough to live this day and meet the challenges it brings.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

May 28

Being sick and tired

We get sick and tired of blaming others for our faults. We get sick and tired of running the show. We get sick and tired of trying to impress people. We are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

We need only remember that when anything gets to be too much, when we get sick and tired of anything, our Higher Power is always ready to help to take it from us.

Am I feeling sick and tired about anything now?

Higher Power, help me turn things over to you before I get that sick and tired feeling.

Today I will ask my Higher Power to take over two problems. They are…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

[bluidkiti]

May 29

Reflection for the Day

What wonderful things could happen in my life if I could get rid of my natural impulse to justify my actions. Is honesty so deeply repressed under layers of guilt that I can’t release it to understand my motives? Being honest with ourselves isn’t easy. It’s difficult to search out why I had this or that impulse and, more importantly, why I acted upon it. Nothing makes us feel so vulnerable as to give up the crutch of “the alibi,” yet my willingness to be vulnerable will go a long way toward helping me grow in the program. Am I becoming more aware that self- deception multiplies my problems?
Today I Pray

May my Higher Power remove my urge to make excuses. Help me to face up to the realities that surface when I am honest with myself. Help me to know, as certainly as day follows sunrise, that my difficulties will be lessened if I can only trust my Higher Power’s will.
Today I Will Remember

I will be willing to do my Higher Power’s will.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

[bluidkiti]

May 30

Living the Twelve Step way is a twenty-four-hour-a-day opportunity.

Twelve Step programs expose us to ideas that seem foreign. It takes time to embrace a new value system we can live by every day. Absorbing and using these principles for every decision and action removes the worry from our lives.

Changing how we’ve thought and acted doesn’t happen overnight. Changing one thing at a time is enough at first. Perhaps we’ll give up our feeling of hopelessness. The Second Step tells us that God can free us from our insanity, our hopelessness. All we need do is ask for help, and hope will come. Maybe we decide the urge to take over someone else’s life must end. Doing the First Step numerous times a day will help us remember that we are powerless over everyone else. If discomfort from an old relationship keeps haunting us, maybe it’s time to make amends and get on with life.

Our value system shapes every part of our lives. Twelve Step philosophy simplifies our lives, particularly when the baggage of the past has been cleared away.

This isn’t a part-time program for me. I want to live by these principles every minute. My life will reflect how successfully I do it.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

[bluidkiti]

May 31

Given how much suffering there is in the world and in any given individual’s life, it is astounding that we are all not having a good cry at least once a week. Such regular cleansing is good for body, mind, and spirit. Many men have overcome the negative conditioning that prevents them from shedding healing tears.

When sadness is particularly prolonged, intense, and focused on a specific loss such as the death of a loved one, divorce, or loss of a job or significant functional ability through injury or illness, it transforms into the more complex brew of grief. Initially, grief always disorients and overwhelms. It represents an arduous transition from loss in some form to reintegration. One never “gets over” difficult experiences, but we can somehow fit them into the fabric of the big picture of our life.

Grief cycles and past losses may unexpectedly arise when least expected. A new sorrow may trigger memories of older ones. Grieving is more a marathon than a sprint. The more we feel our sadness and allow our grief, the more spontaneity and aliveness we will have.

Grieving well is a skill I can learn over time, and letting myself cry is good medicine.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery