Today's Thought - August

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August 1

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

~Charles A. Beard

We human beings seem to prefer to be in the light. Most of us rely on the daylight to move around safely and do our work. In the light we feel like we have more control. At night, when the world is dark, we feel less in control. We do two things: we turn on the lights so we can continue our daytime activity, or we go to sleep.

But darkness has gifts for us—different gifts than we get from light. Darkness changes how we see things. In the dark we see less, but we pay better attention. As we let go of our fears and let our eyes adjust to the dark, we find that we can see more than we first thought. We can see enough to take the next step. There are some things, like the stars, that we can see better in the dark.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, let me learn the lessons of loving the dark. Let me learn to really see the gifts that surround and support me, and the beautiful possibilities that life holds for me.
Today's Action

Tonight as I get ready for bed, I will get a different view of my surroundings. I will sit up in the dark for a few minutes. I will feel the floor or bed supporting me, and I will let my eyes adjust to the dark.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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August 2

Love your self’s self where it lives.

~Anne Sexton

How often have we wished we were someone else, anyone else, rather than who we are? If we’re intense, have we longed to be calmer? If we’re introverted, have we dreamed of being extroverted? And, of course, being an addict, have we wished we were “normal”?

The truth is that there is no such thing as “normal.” Each of us is special; we have the potential within to realize our unique destiny. The infinite growth of which we’re capable comes from qualities we now possess. We can change ourselves, but we can never put within us what simply isn’t there. To try to do so is perfectionistic and will focus our energy outside ourselves, which can trigger our addiction.

Instead, we can learn to be directed by what is inside of us. We can appreciate and love ourselves as we are and choose people in our life who do the same.

The more I appreciate the mystery of who I am, the less I’ll wish I were someone else.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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August 3

Moderation

Stay right-size.

~Anonymous

Today our target for a proper living pace is moderation. We know how easy it is to magnify, exaggerate, accent, and overindulge. The dependency and compulsion from which we are steadily recovering puts us among the world’s excessive people. Every day we need to tell ourselves that more is not necessarily better.

We also need to guard against unrestraint, greed, and envy. But we can adapt even dangerous instincts like fear and anger into self-improving assets if we can maintain moderation.

In our desire for perfection, however, we also need to practice moderation. We can’t want more than we are capable of achieving. We could destroy ourselves by trying to be perfect. In this, above all else, we need to practice moderation, for we will never be perfect.

When I create impossible dreams, they backfire and blow up and leave me with negative feelings. I want to practice moderation in all things, even the good things in life.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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August 4

A weed is but an unloved flower.

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We nurture each other’s special beauty by our loving actions. We all need to know we’re truly appreciated. We may already believe that our life is purposeful, and we may already appreciate our unique talents. And the contribution we’re making at a particular time may be evident to our friends or co-workers. Even so, our fears of not being lovable can still haunt us at times.

These fears are easily put to rest when we help someone else feel special. All it takes is a moment of thoughtfulness, perhaps the simple decision to offer a smile or a loving touch. Offering words of encouragement to friends who are feeling helpless, or simply taking time to listen when they need to talk, will assure them that they matter and that we care. Our Higher Power needs us as emissaries of love in the world.

I will help a friend blossom today, and I will grow as well.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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August 5

It takes time, love, and support to find peace with the restless one.

~Deidra Sarault

Restlessness is born of frustration. Perhaps we want to move ahead with our lives more quickly. Does a job have us trapped? Do past troubles haunt us still? Maybe perfectionism tarnishes every attempt to achieve. We can learn from our restlessness, if we let it guide us to our inner reservoir of peace and spiritual support.

The search for serenity often takes us farther from it. We mistakenly think a different job or home or relationship will answer all our needs. But we find that our restlessness has accompanied us to our new surroundings. Peace has its home within. And prayer opens the door to it. In the stillness of our patience, we are privy to its blessing.

Restlessness indicates our distance from our higher power. It may be time for a change in our lives. Change is good; however, our relationship with God will vouchsafe any needed changes. Restlessness is self-centered and will only hamper the steps we may need to take.

Restlessness is a barometer that reveals my spiritual health. Perhaps prayer is called for today.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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August 6

Next time you’re feeling at odds with yourself, make a list of your good qualities…things like generosity and patience and thrift. It will surprise you to discover how nice you really are.

~Audrey Corn

Some days we just feel out of sorts and down on ourselves. In this program, we place great importance on self-inventories. We confront our defects and our wrongs, and we make lists of them to hold ourselves responsible. Any good inventory counts both assets and liabilities. On a day when we feel burdened with guilt or weakness, we ought to remind ourselves of the best of who we are. Remember good deeds that we have done. Remember what we do well, and don’t minimize those assets. If we are going to build on our strengths, we have to see them for what they are.

Our attitude toward ourselves and toward life is partly a matter of mental discipline. It does no good for anyone if we sit passively in our negativity. We can learn to affirm that we are children of creation, and we have a right to be here. In spite of our imperfections, we are a force for good.

Today, I will carry in my thoughts some of my good qualities.'

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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August 7

AA Thought for the Day

When I find myself thinking about taking a drink, I say to myself: “Don’t reach out and take that problem back. You’ve given it to God and there’s nothing you can do about it.” So I forget about the drink. One of the most important parts of the AA program is to give our drinking problem to God honestly and fully, and never to reach out and take the problem back to ourselves. If we let God have it and keep it for good and then cooperate with Him, we’ll stay sober. Have I determined not to take the drinking problem back to myself?
Meditation for the Day

Constant effort is necessary if I am to grow spiritually and develop my spiritual life. I must keep the spiritual rules persistently, perseveringly, lovingly, patiently, and hopefully. By keeping them, every mountain of difficulty shall be laid low, the rough places of poverty of spirit shall be made smooth, and all who know me shall know that God is the Lord of all my ways. To get close to the spirit of God is to find life and healing and strength.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that God’s spirit may be everything to my soul. I pray that God’s spirit may grow within me.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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August 8

Love is always open arms.

~Leo Buscaglia

There is a story about a boy who left home and dishonored his father by spending a large amount of money on fast and reckless living. When the boy's money ran out, he was faced with the prospect of re* turning home to face his father, knowing the father had every reason to be disappointed in him. Filled with fear and shame he approached his home, his mind racing with words of apology. Before the boy could say a word, his father rushed to him with open arms and hugged his lost son in joy and love.

Have we done this? Have we found it in our hearts to approve whatever a loved one does, even if we would have wanted something different?

Love like this is the highest kind of love. It finds joy in others no matter what, because it recognizes the freedom of those we love, and doesn't chain them to our own wants. It is the same kind of love God has for us.

Are my arms open today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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August 9

I thank God for my handicaps, for through them, I have found myself, my work and my God.

~Helen Keller

None of us ever wanted to be addicts. Many see addiction as an obstacle that slows us down and holds us back; while that might be the case, in recovery we learn that our disease can give us a new level of understanding. Now that we are sober, we are blessed to be open to others and patient with ourselves. Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf, told of how her problems became her biggest gift. Through them, she found true meaning in her life.

We can accept our handicap—our addiction—and learn from it. The truth is, we’re all handicapped in some way. Recovery is about facing our addiction and learning to live with it. When we come face to face with our handicaps and our obstacles, we discover our need for our Higher Power.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me see myself as I really am. Give to me the serenity that comes from accepting my handicaps.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll list all the ways I am handicapped. I’ll ask myself, “What gift does each of these hold for me?”

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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August 10

The readiness is all.

~William Shakespeare

Our concept of control was flawed. This program leads us into a new world. Here we meet the fact that we are powerless to change some aspects of ourselves. But we can become ready to be changed. That makes all the difference. When we accept this truth, we are already changed and we are more in line with nature and the universe.

We can’t make ourselves less perfectionistic, but we can become ready to let go of our demand for perfection. We can’t force family harmony into our lives, but we can become more ready to be harmonious. We can’t make a lasting love appear for us on command—but we can become ready for such a relationship when the opportunities appear. Do we yearn for some change? How might we ready ourselves to receive it?

Today, I will try to become ready for the help and change I most need in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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August 11

Being different

Some of us feel so different that we think no person or group could help us or even understand us. We feel alone and isolated. Whatever these differences are, they can be lessened by concentrating on the purpose common to us all—we are learning to live a life free of alcohol or other drugs by connecting with a power greater than ourselves.

Our Higher Power does not want us to be alone. We are all more alike than different. We must recognize the love that is available to us. Are we looking for what we have in common, or are we looking for ways to be alone and different?

Do I realize that our common purpose can outweigh all differences?

Higher Power, help me feel connected by looking for what I share with my fellow members.

Today I will overlook all differences or look for what we share in…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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August 12

Reflection for the Day

The program and my friends in the fellowship have provided me with a whole new set of tools for living. Even the slogans that once seemed so trite and corny are now becoming an important part of my daily life: “Easy does it”; “First things first”; “This too will pass.” If I use all of my tools regularly and well, they’ll also help rid me of such negative feelings as guilt, anxiety, rebellion, and pride. When I’m feeling depressed, do I use the tools that have been proven effective? Or do I grit my teeth and suffer in painful silence?
Today I Pray

I praise my wonder-working Higher Power for giving me the tools for recovery, once I admitted I was powerless over my addiction and gave myself over to the will of my Higher Power—as I’ve conceived of it. I give thanks for the Twelve Steps and for the fellowship of the group, which can help me see myself honestly. I give thanks for those words and phrases that become, as we understand them more completely, banners in our celebration of sobriety.
Today I Will Remember

Pass on the passwords to recovery.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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August 13

Strengthening assets minimizes defects.

Step Six asks us to become entirely ready to let God have our defects. What does that mean? None of us wants troublesome defects. And yet some of them served as survival skills in the past; thus today we may fear parting with them. Listening to sponsors and other program winners helps us see that every defect, in time, turns on us. While it might have helped us cope at one time, it now is killing our spirit, our hope, our relationships. It’s not easy to give up a defect to God. The void this leaves needs filling.

Fortunately, sponsors and other people suggest how to fill the void. And that’s where our assets come in. No matter how low our self-worth, regardless of how inadequate we feel, we all have special positive qualities too. We can take any one of them and demonstrate it in our lives, every day, or even many times a day. We’ll feel empowered, hopeful, and far less encumbered by the traits that have caused us so much pain.

I will focus on my assets today, and I’ll let others see them at work too.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

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August 14

All feelings are okay, but not all behaviors are. This is the basic guiding principle for our emotional lives. “Emotional fluency” is the ability to be in touch with whatever we are feeling inside and able to communicate those sensations to ourselves—and others—in ways that are life enhancing rather than destructive.

We develop this capacity for emotional fluency gradually, starting in childhood, as we learn to identify and name certain bodily sensations. We then expand the vocabulary we use to express the continuum of each core feeling. Using “I” statements, followed by a feeling word, helps us refine our ability to take responsibility and make these internal sensations our own. I feel scared when I see you drinking so much. I feel upset and angry with myself when I mess up.

Mood storms teach us about the ever-changing tempestuous nature of our emotional life. We all go through times when our emotions seem to have us in their grasp, more than we are having them. Through all these developmental phases, we learn to experience, recognize, name, and then express our internal experience to others. Addictions commonly interrupt this growth and tend to leave us with less mature skills in identifying and revealing our inner states. Sobriety allows us reclaim what we have been missing.

Whatever I am feeling is valid; how I choose to express it needs healthy boundaries.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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August 15

Gratitude

Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. We barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We’re feeling great in the morning, but we’re submerged in misery by nightfall. Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappointments. Often when we’re feeling overwhelmed, we can’t see the lessons in these experiences.

One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It’s called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don’t like this experience, but thank you anyway.

Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.

Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today’s pain into tomorrow’s joy.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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August 16

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

~Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous

Accepting powerlessness is a prerequisite of recovery. As adult children, the very idea may seem puzzling or even laughable. Haven’t we felt powerless all along? Shouldn’t we be trying to move away from powerlessness and toward power?

But in the program, we’ve found “powerless” to have a different meaning. We see how we have exhausted all the nonproductive, ineffective ways to deal with our situation. Powerlessness here means we’re giving up on willpower, force, and intellectualizing because they just didn’t work.

When we admit we are powerless, we are saying that we are through trying to do it on our own—finished with attempts at recovery that are centered around our own strength or cunning. To lay down our old failed powers is not much different, after all, from laying down a broken old bike with two flat tires. It was better than nothing, but now we have a new means of moving on our way.

Today, I am relieved and grateful to unburden myself of unrealistic expectations.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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August 17

Each thing she learned became part of herself, to be used over and over in new adventures.

~Kate Seredy

We started working our recovery program for one reason—to stop our disease from controlling our life. Once we recover our ability to live in a sane way, a funny thing happens—we discover that we’re learning so much.

First we learn we have a disease that we can recover from. Then we learn about ourselves—our strengths and weaknesses, and our values. Next we learn how to live better. Then we learn how to have healthy relationships. Finally we have a spiritual awakening.

These are huge changes. We learn things in recovery that we will use in all areas of our life. We now have the skills and courage to follow the lead of our Higher Power into new adventures as we develop our relationships and our talents, and find a way to make a difference in our own corner of the world.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me learn what you want me to know and to be who you want me to be. Then help me do what you want me to do with my life. I’m getting ready for the adventure.
Today's Action

I will think about the limits I put on myself in the past because I didn’t know any better. I will talk with my sponsor or a recovery friend about how my horizons are broadening already.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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August 18

True hope is swift, and flies with swallow’s wings.

~William Shakespeare

When we read the words restore us to sanity in Step Two, we can believe absolutely that somewhere within us, we are sane. Restoration means returning to us what we already possess—wholeness. Through this Step we find the beginnings of reconciliation; we are reconciled with ourselves and our Higher Power, and we have the hope of being reconciled with other people.

Working this Step takes patience because it is a process, sometimes a long one. “Coming to believe” doesn’t mean embracing a body of intellectual beliefs; it means beginning to find faith, which is entirely different from intellectual belief. Before we can have faith, we must have hope. This Step provides that.

Like a child, I take one Step at a time. I believe that today my life is being restored to me.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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August 19

Boredom

Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?

~Friedrich Nietzsche

Boredom is a form of conceit. When we are bored we are saying, “Okay, life, you are not doing your job of keeping me entertained.” To think that life or those around us or the world itself is here primarily to keep us amused and entertained is “Stinking thinking.”

This thinking can screw up our attitude and take us back to the point where our addiction seems like the only way out of that boredom. We may be miserable, but at least we aren’t bored, we think.

Those who learn to work the program find that life is far from boring. Each day brings many quiet moments of joy, compassion, and insight. Rich serenity replaces the empty landscape of boredom.

I am not in recovery just to be abstinent; I am living to learn, to help others, and to keep busy through positive action.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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August 20

Happiness in the older years of life, like happiness in every year of life, is a matter of choice—your choice for yourself.

~Harold Azine

We empower ourselves every time we accept responsibility for choosing the thoughts and feelings we act on. Choosing behavior that encourages happiness is often as easy as any other choice, and the rewards are certainly greater than when we act out of fear or resentment. Events we had expected to be troubling, and relationships where we had predicted conflict, are more likely to turn out surprisingly smooth when we come to them with a happy attitude. We will feel better about ourselves when we are able to respond to other people with encouragement and hope.

We complicate our life unnecessarily when we choose to act out of meanness, self-centeredness, or self-pity. Actions arising from negative attitudes eventually lower our self-esteem and block our connection to God. Happiness is often as simple as making the decision to take charge of who we are now, as we rely on God’s will for us.

I will choose happiness today as I rely on God’s will for me.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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August 21

I can't help it…that's what we all say when we don't want to exert ourselves.

~Eva Lathbury

Irresponsible behavior is not unfamiliar to us. Passivity is equally familiar. In the past, excusing ourselves of all responsibility prevented us from being blamed. We have learned that it also prevented us from feeling worthy, from fulfilling our potential, from feeling the excitement that comes with achievement.

Our fear of failure helped us to be irresponsible. We may still fear failure, but the program offers us an antidote. We can't fail if we have turned our lives over to our higher power. We will be shown the way to proceed. Our fellow travelers have messages for us that will smooth our path.

I have chosen recovery. I have already said, “I can help it." I will celebrate that I am taking responsibility for my life today.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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August 22

Listen, or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.

~Native American proverb

Much of what we learn on this path comes from others also making their way. We go to meetings and listen to their reflections and their stories and we think, “That’s like me.” When neighbors or friends at work tell us about their lives, we often gain insight about our own. Sometimes we think, “I guess I didn’t have it so bad.” By being a good listener, we may get encouragement to stay on the path.

It’s an honor to have others disclose to us what they have been through. And it’s a trust that we ought to respect. Listening with an open heart isn’t always easy. It doesn’t mean that we simply sit there while others talk. It means that we engage actively to perceive what they are telling us and to understand how they came to feel and think as they do. When we put our ego aside, we stop thinking about what we will say in response; we stop trying to offer helpful advice or a better answer. We just take in what they are trying to tell us.

Today, I will actively engage as a good listener.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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August 23

AA Thought for the Day

What a load wasting money puts on your shoulders! They say that members of AA have paid the highest initiation fee of any club members in the world, because we’ve wasted so much money on liquor. We’ll never be able to figure out how much it was. We not only wasted our own money, but also the money we should have spent on our families. When you come into AA, that terrible load of wasted money falls off your shoulders. We alcoholics were getting round-shouldered from carrying all those loads that drinking put on our shoulders. But when we come into AA, we get a wonderful feeling of release and freedom. Can I throw back my shoulders and look the whole world in the face again?
Meditation for the Day

I believe that the future is in the hands of God. He knows better than I what the future holds for me. I am not at the mercy of fate or buffeted about by life. I am being led in a very definite way, as I try to rebuild my life. I am the builder, but God is the architect. It is mine to build as best I can, under His guidance.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may depend on God, since He has planned my life. I pray that I may live my life as I believe God wants me to live it.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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August 24

The farmer may only be planting a seed, but if he opens his eyes he is feeding the whole world.

~Omaha Bee

A traveler journeying through a small village came upon some workers building an impressive structure. "What is it you are doing?" he asked. The first worker, a young, impatient man, replied in disgust, "I am making three dollars an hour and I'm getting very tired!" The visitor asked another man the same question. "I'm mixing concrete, as you can plainly see," came the sarcastic reply.

Finally, a woman working nearby left her wheelbarrow full of bricks and approached the stranger. "We are building a hospital," she said with pride. "Now we will be able to care for all the region's people. Babies will be born here. Lives will be saved." The stranger looked at the woman with admiration and spoke directly to her. "I know, for this is my hospital. Only you hold the vision of what it is you are creating." The wealthy benefactor then put the woman in charge of construction so his hospital would be built by one who truly understood.

Will I see the importance of even the small things I do today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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August 25

We are always the same age inside.

~Gertrude Stein

Deep inside, each of us has a child’s spirit. We still have many of the feelings we had when we were young. Some of us have a hurting child inside. There’s sadness, fear, or anger that hasn’t gone away. We’re still lonely, no matter how many people care about us.

Our inner child needs special help to heal. We can be good parents to our inner child. We do this by being gentle and caring with ourselves. In time, this child can be a happy center in our hearts.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please heal the child inside me a little more each day. Help my inner child be alive, free, and full of joy.
Action for the Day

Right now, I’ll close my eyes for a minute. I’ll think kind thoughts about myself. Today I’ll find a way to show my inner child love and care.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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August 26

Heaven ne’er helps the men who will not act.

~Sophocles

Growing into masculine wholeness is a journey into greater responsibility for our lives. We have choices to make every day. Taking responsibility means choosing between the options we have and then accepting the consequences. Sometimes both choices are undesirable, but we have to choose anyway. Do I expect to be perfect in my choices? Do I demand that someone else take responsibility for me? Do I defiantly refuse to accept the options I have?

This program seems like a paradox—the First Step asks us to accept our powerlessness, then we are expected to go on and stop being passive in our lives. The Serenity Prayer speaks to us about this dilemma. We ask for the serenity to accept what we cannot change and the courage to change what we can. Fully admitting our powerlessness sheds a burden and frees us to go on from there, actively doing what we can.

If something is awaiting my action today, may I have the courage to move forward with it. Even small movement is progress.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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August 27

Passing it on

Before we can help others, we must first help ourselves. If we acknowledge our addiction and seek to change, we are growing. In growing, we have something to offer others.

As those before us have helped us grow, we in turn can help others grow. We can pass it on.

Am I growing and passing it on?

Higher Power, help me realize that as I grow through your love, others grow through my love for them.

Today I will share my love and growth with…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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August 28

Reflection for the Day

I once heard it said that “the mind is the slayer of the real.” Looking back at the insanity of those days when I was actively addicted, I know precisely what that phrase means. One of recovery’s important fringe benefits for me today is an increasing awareness of the world around me, so I can see and enjoy reality. This alone helps diminish the difficulties I so often magnify, creating my own misery in the process. Am I acquiring the sense of reality that is absolutely essential to serenity?
Today I Pray

May I be revived by a sharpened sense of reality, excited to see—for the first time since the blur of my worst moments—the wonders and opportunities in my world. Emerging from the don’t?care haze of addiction, I see objects and faces coming into focus again, colors brightening. May I take delight in this newfound brightness.
Today I Will Remember

To focus on my realities.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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August 29

Feeling equal to other people is a learned behavior.

We compare ourselves to others so automatically that we’re seldom conscious of it. It’s how we measure our worth. Feeling superior or inferior to others might be how we were raised to see the world, but there is another way. From the program we are learning that it’s possible to recognize everyone’s worth, to honor the equality of us all.

Practicing this new perception until it becomes automatic will have a profound impact on every circumstance in our lives. When we feel equal to others, they will no longer intimidate us and we will no longer try to shame them. Conflict will subside. Anxiety will recede. When we acknowledge them and ourselves as valuable, necessary, equal, contributing members of society, we will discover a world far different from the one we have known. And we will feel a peace, a joy, that visited us but rarely.

If I want to be at peace today, I need to remember that I am equal to everyone else.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

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August 30

Successfully being in an intimate partnership with another human requires a dynamic toolbox of communication skills. Whenever we are emotionally triggered by something our loved one has said or done, the first step is to actually notice that we have become upset, so that we can pause before reacting. We can take a moment to center ourselves and communicate to the other person that we have been triggered. Before engaging in a conversation with our partner, we need to first inquire within what our upset might be about, especially as it relates to earlier wounding.

By self-calming in the moment, we optimize the chances of not falling down the rabbit hole of unskillful responses. This is challenging, difficult work, but ultimately it is what will free us from conditioned and habitual responses with each other—reactions that only keep us stuck and in conflict. Clarifying, listening, making requests rather than demands, taking a time-out, or expressing affection even in the midst of turmoil are all ways that keep us moving forward. The pull of our past patterns of using substances to escape when triggered may be strong, but we now know better and can call on our support systems when situations with a partner are particularly demanding.

Conflict and getting triggered are normal in any close relationship, and I need to respond skillfully.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

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August 31

We are responsible for ourselves financially.

What a frightening, grown-up thought that is for many of us—taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade-off in our relationships.

Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we’re seeking in recovery.

Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?

Taxes…savings plans…appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility…

Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.

Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.

God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Show me the lessons I need to learn about money.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency