Today's Thought - February

[bluidkiti]

February 1

Reflection for the Day

For a good part of my life, I saw things mostly in negative terms. Everything was serious, heavy, or just plain awful. Perhaps now I can truly change my attitude, searching out people in recovery who have learned how to live comfortably in the real world—without numbing their brains with mood-altering substances. If things get rough today, can I take a quiet moment and say to myself, as the philosopher Homer once said, “Bear patiently, my heart—for you have suffered heavier things”?
Today I Pray

May peace fill the place within me that once harbored my despair. May an appreciation for living—even for life’s trials—cancel out my former negative attitudes. During heart-heavy moments, help me remember that my heart was once much heavier still.
Today I Will Remember

I, too, am healing and living comfortably.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time

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February 2

Believing in a Higher Power changes our perspective.

Gone are the long days of feeling adrift, days we had no hope or direction. For too long we agonized over the circumstances of our lives, tormented by the drinking and lying of our loved ones. Our attempts to control didn’t work. They still won’t. Yet some days we try anyway.

Most days, though, we use the principles of the program, relying on the wisdom of the first three Steps to take our focus off the person we’re trying to control. Accepting that we are powerless, coming to believe in a Power that is greater than we are, letting it guide the behavior of the other person and ourselves—these things give us clarity and peace about the actions we need to take. We aren’t adrift today.

I am so lucky that I have a greater Power that I can call on today. I can be certain that I’ll be taken care of.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own

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February 3

When we bring awareness to any difficult situation, we can choose to do things differently so that we don’t react in habitual ways that fit us like a worn-out shoe. They may be familiar, but ultimately they don’t help us get where we want to go.

Recovery teaches us to be mindful of what triggers our strong desire to escape, to grab our addiction of choice and run for the hills. It is not about judging these impulses or making oneself wrong for having them; it is about noticing them as they arise, even playfully naming them. “Oh, there is Ira, impulsive again” or “Here comes escaping Eddie.”

It’s time to just take a deep breath and do our best to stay present, allowing ourselves to feel what we desperately want to avoid. We can become aware of what our body is trying to tell us, where we are holding the tension. Such mindfulness requires that we pause before we act or react.

We need to take a moment to sense what is really happening inside before we change what goes on outside. When we just stop and allow whatever feelings are there to percolate through us, we taste a bit of freedom.

When I want to run is when I most need to stay present and aware.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones

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February 4

Once I accept things as they are, I can create things as they might be.

~Mike O.

Nothing so ties us to the past as regret. Think about it. It is almost impossible to venture forth while facing backward.

But today’s reality is what we must accept and work with. What was is gone. All we can do in the here and now is to accept it as it is without rage or blame, without regret or resentment. All the voting has already been done that made today be what today is.

Ah, but the future! Tomorrow! That’s quite a different matter. Today, we vote for what tomorrow will be. Today’s seeds are tomorrow’s harvest; today’s struggle is tomorrow’s victory.

When we accept today as it is without regret, we shuck off the terrible burden of self-pity with all its “shoulds,” “if onlys,” and “what ifs.” A thousand “ifs” don’t equal a single “is.” When we build on accepted reality, we build on solid rock.

Now I choose. From this day forward, the choice is mine!

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy

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February 5

Your talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.

~Leo Buscaglia

Every one of us has a special gift deep in our soul. Some of us have already found it. But some of us don’t yet see the gift that makes us special. Maybe it’s time to find it. When we were in our active addiction, all our best energy went into the wrong goal—getting high. Now that we are sober and have a life that is more sane, we have energy for good things. The time is right. We can put some of that extra energy into finding our talent.

Our program has taught us how to look at ourselves in Step Four, Step Eight, and Step Ten. We have learned to listen to feedback to improve ourselves in Step Five and Step Eleven. We can use these skills to find our talent.

It’s scary to be special. It means being different. But that is why the world needs all of us—we each bring something different. And now we have the energy, we have the skills, and we have people who care about us who will help guide us. Isn’t it exciting?
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I have made a decision to turn over my life and my will to your care. Please show me how to use my talent.
Today's Action

Today I will find one thing I’m good at. I will talk with my sponsor and a friend about how I can use this talent.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me

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February 6

She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She doesn’t dare to be herself.

~Anaïs Nin

Do I know myself only in the image of what others make of me? Do I exist only in the gaze of others? What would happen if there was nobody to see me, to make me up? Would I simply disappear and cease to exist?

If we lack a sense of ourselves as people changing, on the move, in a process of growth, then it is easy to let ourselves become fixed, defined, static, lifeless. Other people will always be happy to do the work of defining us if we are unwilling to find out who we are ourselves. Of course we need to be seen and noticed and valued by others—but not at the expense of ourselves. We must dare to be. We must take the risk of creating ourselves and get to know and like ourselves—this strange and wonderful creature.

I am going to dare to be myself and welcome change and growth.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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February 7

Seeking Wisdom

He who knows and knows he knows, he is wise—Follow him!

~Arabian saying

In the beginning of practicing the principles of our program, a complete understanding of them and knowing why they work is not really important. Sponsors usually tell a newcomer, “Just do it!” and “Fake it ’til you make it!” Analyzing “why” may become important later. But in the beginning, we accept advice blindly because the friends who teach us are, themselves, examples of why the principles work.

The program we follow is a simple one. All we need to do is know that the Steps work, and follow that knowledge. Those who find comfortable recovery know that what they’ve learned has been basically simple facts about themselves and their obsessive illness.

Learning the simple facts of my illness and practicing the principles of my program will lead to wisdom and lasting recovery.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It

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February 8

Love doesn’t grow on the trees like apples in Eden—it’s something you have to make.

~Joyce Carey

There probably aren’t many of us who feel we’re loved enough. The paradox is that looking for love is not the way to find it. Abundant love will find us when we make the decision to attentively and unconditionally give it to all the people God has invited to share our life.

Our primary purpose today is to know and give love. Most of us turned to alcohol and other drugs in part because we felt unloved, unworthy, without purpose. This new life we’ve been graced with—a life filled with opportunities to experience positive ways of thinking, meaningful endeavors, and a family of loving friends—hasn’t come to us accidentally or coincidentally. It has been God’s will throughout our life that we know love, and be able to openly and freely offer it to others.

God is the caring guide who will help me know love as a result of my willingness to love.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care

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February 9

The way we see the problem is the problem.

~Stephen R. Covey

Many of us have a mind-set that keeps us on a treadmill. It’s not for lack of effort that our lives reel out of control. We struggle to move forward. We work hard to manage the unmanageable. But with all our busy efforts, we can’t see that we are continuously recycling the same problem over and over.

The solution we need may be right before our eyes. Our denial is confusing us; we don’t even know we are denying anything. We cannot solve our problems alone—or even see the problems clearly from the inside. That’s what friends do for us. They reflect back to us what we are missing. That’s why we need to have good talks with others who have walked the same path that we are on. The strongest, most powerful men have wise advisers who show them things they don’t know. They accept the role of seeker and learner because that is the way they enhance themselves.

Today, I will be open to seeing my problems in ways I couldn’t imagine on my own.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones

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February 10

AA Thought for the Day

Alcoholics who are living in a blind alley refuse to be really honest with themselves or with other people. They’re running away from life and won’t face things as they are. They won’t give up their resentments. They’re too sensitive and too easily hurt. They refuse to try to be unselfish. They still want everything for themselves. And no matter how many disastrous experiences they have had with drinking, they still do it over and over again. There’s only one way to get out of that blind-alley way of living and that’s to change your thinking. Have I changed my thinking?
Meditation for the Day

I know that the vision and power that I receive from God are limitless, as far as spiritual things are concerned. But in temporal and material things, I must submit to limitations. I know that I cannot see the road ahead. I must go just one step at a time, because God does not grant me a longer view. I am in uncharted waters, limited by my temporal and spatial life, but unlimited in my spiritual life.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that, in spite of my material limitations, I may follow God’s way. I pray I may learn that trying to do His will is perfect freedom.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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February 11

If anything, we have tended to be people who wanted it all now. To hope is not to demand.

~Anonymous

Maybe we were a bit demanding. Maybe we were a bit impatient. Maybe that’s why we had such little hope.

Hope is believing good will come, even in bad times. Hope is knowing that “this, too, shall pass.” Hope is knowing that no matter how afraid we are, our Higher Power will be with us. Hope is knowing we never have to be alone again. It is knowing that time is on our side. Hope is giving up control. Hope is knowing we never had control in the first place. Hope is believing in ourselves. Hope is what our program is all about.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, in our program we share our experiences, our strengths, and our hopes. Thank You for giving all three of these to me to share.
Action for the Day

I will share my hope for the future with myself, my Higher Power, and my friends. I also will share this with someone who has lost hope.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple

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February 12

Destiny’s Ladder

What a gift it would be if, while I was working on being the best person I could be—the person I was meant to become when I was planted on this earth—you were working on the same thing. What a wonderful gift it would be, from me to you and you to me. I would know that you’ll be okay, that you’re doing the things you need to do to be happy and healthy, and you would know the same things about me. We could each live life to the fullest. I wouldn’t have to worry about you, and you wouldn’t have to worry about me.

What a gift it would be if we each grabbed the life we’ve been given—if we each climbed our own destiny’s ladder—and worked hard on rising to the top. You see, I can’t climb yours for you, and you can’t climb mine for me. One of us would be stuck at the bottom, having gotten no* where at all, looking up with regret.

What a gift it would be if, side by side, we could bask in the joy, the peace, the pride of watching each other—and our own selves—progress.

The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, “If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.” Now I say, “I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.”

~Jim Rohn

Today's reading is from the book Tending Dandelions

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February 13

We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.

~André Berthiaume

The masks men wear are as varied as those who wear them, but their purpose is quite simple. We wear masks to hide our real faces from those around us and even from ourselves. There are seductive masks, innocent masks, white knight masks, tough guy masks, black sheep masks, lone wolf masks, and many more. Sometimes we want to take on another identity so others won’t see our insecurities. Or we think taking the form of someone else will give us power over others, or they will like us better, or we can escape ourselves.

The cost of wearing a mask is not getting a chance to develop our real personalities. What masks are we attached to? Are we willing to give them up in the interest of our spiritual growth?

May I have the courage to drop my phony masks in order to grow stronger in self-knowledge.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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February 14

Handling the little things

Is it really the crises that damage our quality of life—or is it more the daily irritations? There is some recognition for handling the big crises, but who notices how we handle the little things?

There is no recognition for handling irritations, but instead, there is peace and serenity. When peace and serenity dominate our lives daily, we begin to appreciate the real gift of this program, the gift of daily living.

Am I learning to handle the little things?

Higher Power, grant me patience and perspective as I practice dealing with all the little things.

I will change how I handle irritations today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day

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February 15

Reflection for the Day

All my life, I looked to others for comfort, security, and all the other things that add up to what I now call serenity. But I’ve come to realize that I was always looking in the wrong place. The source of serenity is not outside, but within myself. The kingdom is within me, and I already have the key. All I have to do is to be willing to use it. Am I using the tools of the program on a daily basis? Am I willing?
Today I Pray

My Higher Power gave me the courage to seek out the kingdom inside myself, to find that wellspring within me that has its source in the never-ending, life-giving receiver of all that is good. May my soul be restored there. May I find the serenity I seek.
Today I Will Remember

To seek the inner kingdom.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time

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February 16

Our purpose is not to get people sober.

Twelve Step recovery initially appealed to us because we wanted someone close to get sober. We thought that if we could do our part right, the other person would get sober. And we are learning our part: We have made concrete changes in how we think and what we do. However, the drinker may still be drinking. Recovery can change only us, not them.

Living according to Twelve Step principles gives us a fresh perspective on life. Very few situations baffle us now. We have learned how to get quiet so we can hear our inner guide. We have learned to trust sponsors whose programs we admire. We have learned that it’s not up to us to take charge of anyone else’s life. Best of all, we have learned that all is well. No longer do we feel overwhelming hopelessness. Having hope for our lives makes each day full of promise.

I can be certain that every moment of this day will bless me in some way. Twelve Step principles will help me gain a fresh perspective.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own

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February 17

The word discipline has its origins in two Latin terms, whose literal translation means to learn and comprehend what is good for one by taking it apart. Self-discipline has as its foundation the concept of teaching. It is not built upon a flimsy platform of have to, ought to, or should.

Rather, it evolves from consistently doing what we have come to know is good for us, on every level, including the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. It is an incredibly powerful ally on our path to discovering and manifesting our best self. Many conceive of it as some form of self-deprivation, as in eating less ice cream, spending less time on enjoyable video gaming, or even in not succumbing to the allure of a pleasurable drug.

Self-discipline is actually less about what we have to do without and is more focused on specific, empowering qualities we are enhancing. It takes self-discipline to get the most out of working out, eating nutritiously, processing our emotions, and taming our negative mindtalk. It is grounded in a big yes, rather than a no, allowing us to move our big visions forward and enhance our daily lives in a multitude of positive ways.

Self-discipline reminds me to keep being my best.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones

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February 18

I have something important to share with you.

~Cliff G.

A man at a meeting asked the group if he could share a major victory in his life. When he was encouraged to do so, he cleared his throat and said quietly, “Something special happened today. The telephone book came out. And for the first time in my life, I have my name and a number listed. I’m very proud of that.”

The group was silent for a moment, not knowing how to respond. Then the young man went on to explain that he was the only child of a military family—an alcoholic military family. One of his adult responses to these powerful early influences was to keep moving—physically, emotionally, and in his career. By refusing to stay put, he hoped to escape the quiet, obedient, desperate little boy inside who never knew why he couldn’t make the grade.

But no more. At least not as much. No matter how much his demons pulled on his coat—he was staying put. He now has a phone, a phone number, and a listing in the book! Recovery comes from such heroic feats.

Today, I thank my friends in the fellowship for sharing their victories as well as their defeats. Their joy is my joy.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy

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February 19

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

~Joseph Campbell

Over and over we tried to drink or use in ways that wouldn’t hurt us or those we loved. The harder we tried, the more out of control we became.

Recovery asks us to surrender and accept. We surrender to the reality that we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives were unmanageable. In order to step into our new life, we have to let go of the life we had wanted and the life we had planned. We step into a life our Higher Power has waiting for us. We must accept that there is nothing back there for us. We must look forward with anticipation.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me live the life you want for me. Help me to surrender my will and life over to your care.
Today's Action

I will spend some time today reflecting on what type of life my Higher Power wants for me. I will then ask myself, “Am I working with my Higher Power or against my Higher Power’s plan for me?”

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me

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February 20

Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment.

~Napoleon Bonaparte

Courage never operates in a vacuum; we are always courageous about something. And we need to believe that there will be some consequence to our acts of bravery. We are looking at the long term for some kind of salvation for ourselves and for others.

Love, too, needs a sense of future, time to develop and flower. Only passion lives for the moment, and passion, like the flame-red rose, often doesn’t last out the year.

So love and courage are similar and often work together for our own good and the good of others. In our program we prize love and courage as we gain more wisdom and serenity. We come to believe in the long term and in things that endure. We know we can’t change in a day, but with love and courage, and the hope on which they depend, we can do wonders.

I believe in my courage to change day by day.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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February 21

The First Promise

We will know a new freedom and happiness.

~Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

A new freedom and happiness for us is an almost unbelievable promise. Before recovery, we had little choice and less freedom. Everything we did had to be set up to meet the demands of our compulsion. Try as hard as we possibly could, we could never prevent the consuming urge of our addiction. A powerful compulsion took over all our waking hours.

Our lives were controlled by our desires. There was a constant need to bow to the demands of our addiction. It made all our decisions for us. There was no freedom and only a small bit of happiness at the very best. We always had to “pay the piper,” and we knew it. We were slaves, like it or not. When freedom came with abstinence, so came joy, gratitude, and love for others and ourselves.

I once believed that I could control my addiction. When I found it wasn’t possible, I felt deep depression, guilt, shame, and remorse. I felt I no longer had freedom. Recovery finally gave me a choice. Promises do come true.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It

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February 22

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action.

~Brendan Francis

God speaks to us in many ways at many times. If we are spiritually alert, we will know it when it happens. A stray thought occurs; we overhear a bit of conversation; a passage in something we are reading suddenly stands out—and we know we have connected. A feeling of assurance and peace comes over us.

The trouble is that we might acknowledge this contact only briefly, and then it slips away. The time to act passes. The favor we could have done; the advice or support we could have offered; the help we could have given or received—all are missed opportunities.

When God speaks, we must do more than listen.

Today I will act when inspired.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care

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February 23

Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.

~Christina Baldwin

Many men use daily notes in a private journal as a method of meditation. It is a means to learn about themselves as they reflect with pen in hand and put uncensored thoughts down on paper. It can take many forms. Some days, a person might just make a list. It might be a prayer list: all the people he loves and all the people he is concerned about. It might be a list of the day’s tasks, with notations on the spirit with which to approach them. Some guys draw pictures in their journals and say it helps them quiet their minds and deepen their understanding of a situation. Some simply record the events of the day and then reflect on how they feel about them and what they mean.

Every man in spiritual development needs a daily pattern of meditation and reflection. It should be a gentle means to respect himself, be honest with himself, and hold himself responsible for his life.

Today, I will make notes on paper and use my notes to interact with my thoughts.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones

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February 24

AA Thought for the Day

I have more peace and contentment. Life has fallen into place. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle have found their correct position. Life is whole, all of one piece. I am not cast hither and yon on every wind of circumstance or fancy. I am no longer a dry leaf cast up and away by the breeze. I have found my place of rest, my place where I belong. I am content. I do not vainly wish for things I cannot have. I have “the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” Have I found contentment in AA?
Meditation for the Day

In all of us there is an inner consciousness that tells of God, an inner voice that speaks to our hearts. It is a voice that speaks to us intimately, personally, in a time of quiet meditation. It is like a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. We can reach out into the darkness and figuratively touch the hand of God. As the Big Book puts it: “Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. We can find the Great Reality deep down within us. And when we find it, it changes our whole attitude toward life.”
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may follow the leading of the inner voice. I pray that I may not turn a deaf ear to the urging of my conscience.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

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February 25

To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves.

~Virginia Woolf

Freedom is a funny thing. In a way, it makes life harder. We are free to do what we want, but every choice makes a difference in our lives. Some choices make us happy, and some bring trouble.

We can make good choices. We can control our actions. We can start by having control in little ways: follow the law, pay the rent, make the bed every day. These choices put order in our lives. Eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep. These choices make us strong enough to live each day to the fullest. These kinds of choices set us free.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, when I was drinking and drugging, I couldn’t enjoy my freedom. I had no control over the little things in my life. Help me stay sober today.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll be grateful for having some control. I will list five ways I am more free because I can control my actions.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple

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February 26

Giving and Receiving

They say it’s better to give than to receive. And that’s true, to a point. But I think what they really mean is that it’s better to give than to take, which is a more grabby sort of action. A completely different sort.

It feels wonderful to be the one who does the giving, the one to hand out gifts of help. But receiving is a gift too. For everyone involved. When I gracefully accept what someone else has to offer—be it help or a gift of any kind—they get to feel the wonderfulness of giving. The goal is for all the giving and receiving to flow freely and to naturally balance out.

Asking for—or accepting—help is not a sign of weakness—just as not asking for help isn’t a badge-worthy sign of pride. Asking for—or accepting—help is a sign of empathy and trust, which is what a loving community is all about.

“I need your help.”

Most people will leap into action upon hearing those words—moved from the bottom of their hearts.

She was always available to help others. Now it was time for her to discover how to let others help her. It was a gift that went both ways.

Today's reading is from the book Tending Dandelions

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February 27

Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you’re a man, you take it.

~Malcolm X

It does little good to complain about our spouse, lover, or parents. We only accentuate our role as victims when we say, “I would be happier if she were different,” or “If he would just get off my back, I would act better.” At times, we may have a knee-jerk loyalty to the victim within. Some of us take comfort in acting helpless and being taken care of; some of us relish the power of being catered to; some of us wallow in self-pity. These patterns of thought hinder our recovery and put a drag on our relationships. When we decide that we aren’t willing to live this way any longer, we are ready to assert our independence.

Real emancipation can’t come at someone else’s initiative or as a gift. It can only begin from within, by saying, “I will take my independence.” Then we begin to be responsible men because we own it on the inside.

Today, I will not wait for others to set me free. I will do what is within my own power to be a free man.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

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February 28

Awakening spiritually

Many of us have had spiritual experiences and spiritual awakenings as a result of this program. Some people had them before they arrived, some when they first arrived, some years after. But before we come to realize a power greater than ourselves or our addiction, we don’t need to hear voices or see visions.

The spiritual experience most of us have is a quiet realization that we are alive, here on Earth. What greater experience can we ask for?

Have I had a spiritual awakening?

Higher Power, help me remain grateful for the gift of my life.

I will practice my spiritual aliveness today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day

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February 29

Reflection for the Day

When I first read the Serenity Prayer, the word serenity itself seemed like an impossibility. At the time, the word conjured up images of lethargy, apathy, resignation, or grim-faced endurance; it hardly seemed a desirable goal. But I’ve since found that serenity means none of those things. Serenity for me today is simply a clear-eyed and realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength. My favorite definition is “Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us.” Is that a state of mind worth aiming for?
Today I Pray

May I notice that serenity comes first, ahead of courage and wisdom, in the sequence of the Serenity Prayer. May I believe that serenity must also come first in my life. I must have the balance, realistic outlook, and acceptance that is part of this blessing of serenity before I can go on to the kind of action and decision-making that will bring order to my existence.
Today I Will Remember

Serenity comes first.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time