Quote:
NA Just For Today
Surrendering Self-Will
"We want and demand that things always go our way. We should know from our past experience that our way of doing things did not work."
Basic Text, p.78
All of us have ideas, plans, goals for our lives. There's nothing in the NA program that says we shouldn't think for ourselves, take initiative, and put responsible plans into action. It's when our lives are driven by self-will that we run into problems.
When we are living willfully, we go beyond thinking for ourselves - we think only of ourselves. We forget that we are but a part of the world and that whatever personal strength we have is drawn from a Higher Power. We might even go so far as to imagine that other people exist solely to do our bidding. Quickly, we find ourselves at odds with everyone and everything around us.
At this point, we have two choices. We can continue in our slavery to self-will, making unreasonable demands and becoming frustrated because the planet doesn't spin our way. Or we can surrender, relax, seek knowledge of God's will and the power to carry that out, and find our way back to a condition of peace with the world. Thinking, taking initiative, making responsible plans-there's nothing wrong with these things, so long as they serve God's will, not merely our own.
Just for today: I will plan to do God's will, not mine. If I find myself at odds with everything around me, I will surrender self-will.
pg. 213
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As I like to say, surrender isn't giving up, it is giving over to our Higher Power. My best thinking got me to the doors of recovery, why should I think it should do me in good stead without making changes in my life.
Every time a butterfly appears, it generally means transformation and change. I had two butterflies land on my dress today.