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November 18

Step by Step

“We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. …We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), p 75.

Today, if I have approached the Fourth Step with reluctance and even fear because I see it as a laundry list of all my wrongs, let me understand that it also has a selfish and cathartic benefit. If I have hidden my wrongs, fears and dread in a dark and locked closet and I can muster the courage and honesty to unlock the door and confront them, I have given voice and identity to those defects. In doing that, I can see what remedy needs to be done. With faith and determination in doing what has to be done, I might even have enthusiasm to do whatever it takes. With that, I can give myself permission not to fear the wrongs of my life any longer, and that fear might be rendered powerless. And in overcoming my fear to face myself, then and now, I might understand for the first time what spiritual experience means. Today, I can begin the job of beginning. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CAME TO BELIEVE

Trust God, Clean House, Help Others!

~ Anonymous ~

We have never believed as we are now believing. The process of coming to believe was a restoration to sanity for us. The strength to move into action came from this belief. We needed to accept this Step to start us on the road to recovery. We nave made a trip from a dark, lost land to a place of light and beauty.

We were given a new insight and a different kind of knowledge. We came to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, higher than we were, and able to do for us what we couldn't do for ourselves. Once we got that far, a new world of freedom and choice was opened up to us.

When I came to believe in Step Two, I was introduced to the most transforming and loving Power I shall ever find. That Power showed me a way out of my crazy life.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Willingness to accept responsibility for one’s life is the source from which self-respect spring.

~ Joan Didion ~

We all know the struggle with shame and self-blame. It is a painful issue and has often been the source of many other bad choices. When we don’t think we are very important, we may dismiss relationships with others as meaningless; we disappear from them and cause great harm in the process. We make self-defeating choices because we feel that we don’t really matter anyway. It’s possible to remain in this state of low self-esteem for years, feeling mystified about how to gain a better self-image.

The truth is both quite simple and challenging. When we hold values and live by them, we respect ourselves. This doesn’t require perfection. It requires that when we make mistakes or fall short of our values, we admit it. By so doing we reaffirm our respect for our values even though, this time, our actions didn’t match them. In this way we remember that who we are is not the same as what we do.

Today I will take responsibility for my actions.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

When you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got. When I isolate, I get lonely. When I reach out, someone is there.

~ Mary Timberlake ~

How lucky we are to have this program and the Twelve Steps as a blueprint for living. We are building a new foundation, one that will help us handle situations more successfully than we did in years past. Habits are hard to change, but we can grow in positive ways. We can discard the old behaviors that hurt us. An inventory will show us that we already have outgrown some of them. We will change, given enough time and patience and willingness. Of this we can be certain.

Oftentimes we can clearly see positive changes in our friends. Taking note of their changes will help us see that we are changing too. For example, we feel less self-pity or “justifiable” anger today. We infrequently ruin an entire day because of crippling anxiety. If we pause occasionally and pay attention to who we are becoming, we will have many moments worthy of celebration.

Today I will choose not to stay stuck in the old but to grow and change in the new.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel better when I share my story

When I think about letting anyone know that I have a chemical or mental health problem, I'm afraid they won't understand or won't accept me. I'm afraid that they'll judge and abandon me.

Disclosing my struggle with a dual disorder is a risk. But my therapist is helping me by being a good example of a safe and trustworthy person. She respects me. She listens to me say what I need to say, in my own time. She shows me that I can still be accepted, no matter what I do or say. Through her, I am learning to let go and trust. When I talk about my story with her, I feel better.

I will try "letting go" in my Twelve Step meeting and share a little about my ongoing recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

God is not found in the soul by adding anything, but by a process of subtraction.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

When we meet someone new and they ask us about ourselves, we often answer by saying something like, “I’m a bricklayer,” or “I’m a housewife,” or “I’m a stockbroker.” Yet, we are much more than those things. That is merely what we do, not who we are. We are not car owners or home owners. We may own cars or homes, but this is only part of our real identity. In fact, these things have little to do with our real, spiritual lives.

In the days of our active addiction, we had little inner life except pain. We came into recovery stripped of any identity except as addicts suffering from a disease. We were bankrupt. But now, stripped of things that had no real value, we were able to find God.

When we subtract such things as false pride, envy, anxiety, anger, and self-pity from our inner lives, we let in the light we need to find God. The more negatives we take away, the more light comes into our lives. And it’s easy to do — all we need to do is turn our will and our lives over to God, as we understand Him. Our Higher Power will surely make His presence felt in our lives, and as we grow spiritually, we will see the results more and more clearly.

Today let me know the real me, and feel the presence of God inside.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

No man or woman is uniformly successful... we must all expect a rather high percentage of failure in the things we attempt.

~ Barnaby Keeney ~

Everyone in life experiences setbacks and failures. But when you focus solely on those times in which you have not succeeded, you may find it hard to build and strengthen your self-confidence.

Self-confidence can certainly be buoyed by great success, but it is not solely reliant upon your being a successful person. It is a feeling that, no matter what the outcome of any situation, you can survive and thrive. Without this feeling of trust in yourself, respect for your capabilities, and surety in who you are as a person, you may find il difficult to face even the smallest of challenges.

Before you tackle any challenge, find out everything you can about what it is you need to do. Just as studying before an exam can benefit your final score, empowering yourself with knowledge before you take action can help you feel better prepared. Rather than try to take on a huge task all at once, identify small, attainable goals that will decrease the size of the task and bring you closer to its achievement.

I will work on small things first so I can build the confidence I need to take on the big things in life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The past is our cradle, not our prison. . . . The past is for inspiration, not imitation; for continuation, not repetition.

~ Israel Zangwill ~

A history book informs us about the past. It gives us an objective picture of what life was like during particular time periods. With such a view, we can then see how far we've come. How do we apply our own histories to our present lives?

We can learn much from our past. It may tell us about some uninspiring things and some negative experiences. But it can also give us clues about our present behaviors, personalities, and mood swings. It can tell us about our dreams and desires, gifts and goals, talents and tastes.

We can use our past as a springboard for our present way of living. We can look away from the negatives of the past and choose not to imitate or perpetuate such negativity. We can then reflect upon the good parts of our past and use them to inspire our present work.

How can I use the good parts of my history for my best benefit?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Striving for progress

We are not perfect. And because we are not perfect, we cannot expect to work the pro-gram perfectly. We don’t benefit from sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves because we don’t work the Steps to perfection. We only divert energy from working the Steps better.

All that’s necessary is to make an honest effort at progress. Instead of feeling over-whelmed by all we have to do, we just have to be willing to do it. We are not perfect. We only strive for progress.

Am I still trying?

Higher Power, let me be satisfied with my progress and not expect perfection from an imperfect being.

I will strive to progress spiritually today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

True worship is not a petition to God: it is a sermon to ourselves.

~ ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL ~

Newcomer

I don't understand why, but prayer always seems to make my day go better. It doesn't matter so much what the prayer is; it's the act of doing it. It's beginning to feel more like a conversation, less like begging.

Sponsor

When we have the courage to connect with our deepest selves in meditation and prayer, we learn who we are. We become aware that we have a purpose in life. Letting go of active addiction was only the beginning.

Continuing the path of recovery requires us to take actions: attending meetings, working the Steps, giving service, and not picking up our addiction are becoming second nature. We pay attention to the requirements for maintaining the health of our bodies and minds. We are no longer afraid to sit still with our feelings. We experience sobriety in our relationships and work lives, showing up for things we find difficult as well as for what seems easy. We begin to address the particular needs of a self that we've neglected and numbed. We no longer deny our souls the nourishment they needs. Prayer can heal, strengthen, and lift our spirits.

Today, any difficulties I may experience are opportunities to turn to my Higher Power for guidance and strength. Prayer gives me courage as I go through the day.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Money is a medium of exchange and is as good as the things you can get with it.

If you have enough money in your pocket when you fall overboard it can drown you.

Love of money can make you the most despised of men, but love of mankind can make your money a blessing to you and to them.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Jumping-Off Place

O Lord, remind me of when I could not imagine life either with alcohol or without it. I knew loneliness such as few know. I was at the jumping-off place. I wished for the end.

The Program, the Fellowship, and my surrender to You has shown me how to get out from under. This new way of living has not consigned me to a life that is stupid, boring, and glum.

I have found a release from care, boredom, and worry. Life means something at last. My imagination has been fired. I believe the most satisfactory years of my existence lie ahead. Thank You, God.

~ Adapted from material in Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, page 152 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DIVINITY WITHIN

Perhaps the second best prayer ever written is the Scotsman's prayer—"Lord, give us a good conceit of ourselves." You cannot have too much respect for yourself. You cannot have too much confidence in yourself. You cannot claim too much for yourself. But remember that you must realize these things as being the expression of God in you and not independent qualities of your own. You must also accept them as being true for every other human being.

Nothing but failure can come of self-depreciation. Of course, it is true that stupid people can get the malady called "swelled head"— and this always ends in a fall but the realization of one's divine selfhood never gives swelled head. It gives wisdom, balance, poise, and steady progress. Think, talk, live your divine, glorious selfhood, and it will demonstrate itself in your life.

I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High (Psalm 82:6).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Scan Your Lines

Through your holy relationships, reborn and blessed...thousands will rise to heaven with You.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Every night while you sleep, the telephone company is examining your circuitry. The phone company runs a massive diagnostic scan of every phone line in its system to see if there are any faulty connections. If they discover a bad line, they will repair it at the company or come out to your house to fix it.

In the same way, we need to scan our relationships daily and see if there are any that need attention. Each day, sit in meditative prayer for a few minutes and feel if any of your relationships are out of harmony. Are you harboring any irritations you have not dealt with? Do you have any long-standing grudges? Is there someone you want to appreciate and acknowledge, but have not? Have you made any commitments you need to follow through on? Has someone made a commitment to you that you need to remind him or her to complete? Do you need to make any changes you are delaying acting on? Have you pushed anyone out of your heart? Is there someone you can serve better? Ask God to show you if you can bring any of your relationships into greater love and integrity. You don’t need to labor over the process; just relax your mind and see who pops into your awareness. If someone does, you are being called to bring that relationship into greater peace.

Jesus taught, “Before you bring your gift to the altar, settle with your brother.” We cannot be present with God if we are unhealed with our neighbor. Years ago, I had a conflict with someone and did not see him for a long time. Every time someone would talk about forgiveness, his face would pop into my mind. Finally, after 11 years, I wrote him a letter. The moment I dropped it in the mailbox, I felt free.

Our relationships were meant to bring us joy and empowerment. If anyone is not, Spirit is calling you to heal it. Then you can wake up in the morning and have all of your lines available.

Help me to heal my heart and be at peace with my brothers and sisters.

I enjoy harmony with all my relations.