[bluidkiti]

November 13

Step by Step

” …(O)ur problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 7 (“Working With Others”), p 103.

Today, if alcohol is or was “only a symbol” or a symptom of some other “dis-ease” within me, abstinence alone is not enough to recover. If it were, there would be no use for AA. But they were written for a purpose, and the purpose is to treat my entire being and not only the symptoms that fueled my drinking. And, most likely, the root problem is my spiritual and emotional condition that I medicated with alcohol. Just as likely is that if I apply a band-aid of abstinence without treating the wound, the band-aid, like it always does, will lose its adhesiveness, and all my fight against temptation or craving will be for naught. The steps are the treatment of the disease: the Fourth Step to come to terms with the bankruptcy of my emotional and spiritual psyche, and the 10th step for maintenance of the Fourth; forgiving others if I expect them to forgive me; and, just as vital, service to others so that I not again become the focus of my world. Today, I look to the steps to treat my disease, not just its symptoms. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GOALS

One who fears, limits their activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more wisely begin again.

~ Henry Ford ~

In sharing with others, especially with our fellow members, we must never be timid about discussing goals, both for a lifetime and for short duration. When we are afraid of failure, we may take no action in setting goals. No one will be scornful of us if we fall short of a mark.

There is more worth in aiming at a target and missing than in shooting blindly. When others encourage us and refuse to let us be depressed by failures, we can take aim and try again. If our goals are realistic, we will reach them. If we tall short, we know we have at least made progress toward our target. The important thing is to aim for the things we need and do our best to get there.

I will set myself realistic goals and work to reach them, but I won't be let down and quit if I fall short. I'll just take better aim next time.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

We know what a person thinks, not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions.

~ Isaac Bashevis Singer ~

Until we gain enough self-awareness, we may mistake our words for the truth. Many of us have developed patterns of self-deception to serve our addictions and codependency. It’s as if we believe that if we can make it sound good, it must be true. And if we are good with words, we can make almost any choice or any action sound good, especially to ourselves. We also value the approval of others so we are tempted to say the “right” thing even if it doesn’t match what is in our hearts.

As we grow stronger, we value honesty with ourselves more deeply. We have greater self-esteem and we no longer betray or deceive ourselves. We learn to discern the difference between “just words” and the truth spoken from our hearts. Our words no longer cover our actions or substitute for them; our words help us better understand our actions. Words can now be used to express and clarify what we do.

Today my words will express and clarify my actions, not obscure them.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The more I wonder... the more I love.

~ Alice Walker ~

How often do we contemplate the miracles that surround us every moment of the day? Do we often stop to appreciate the evidence of these miracles? We have survived many harrowing experiences. But do we understand that our survival is one of God’s miracles?
God’s love for us is and has always been unconditional. No matter how bad we thought we were when we were drinking or using, God loved us. Realizing that God loves each of us equally gives us pause to wonder. Acknowledging this miracle enhances our willingness to love too.

Wonderment strengthens our humility. And from that grows love. We may have come into this recovery program believing it’s impossible to love ourselves and others, but the more we cultivate our appreciation for God’s intervention on behalf of us all, the easier our task.

Pausing to reflect on my good fortune today will make loving easier.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can handle problems while they are still small

Why am I so tired out these days? I come home at night and can hardly watch TV I thought my dual recovery was on track, but I feel irritable and unfriendly. I also think I'm eating more than I need to. What's going on?

Come to think about it, my spouse and I still haven't settled some money matters. Then there's my new boss at work. And the car needs a tune-up and a muffler. Maybe this is what's going on. Maybe I've got a lot on my mind and it's starting to affect me. It's time to pay attention to these relapse warning signs, ask my higher power for help, and start dealing with my problems.

I'll use my nightly Step Ten inventory to help monitor the stress in my life.

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Not what we give, but what toe share —
For the gift without the giver is bare....

~ James Russell Lowell ~

Alcoholism and other addictions are selfish diseases. In the past they caused us to think only of ourselves and never of others. “How do I get out of this jam?” “How do I get another drink or drug?” Addiction is an “I” disease.

Recovery begins with “we,” when we identify with others who have the illness and become willing to listen. Recovery works because it helps us out of ourselves: our self-pity, our self-centeredness, and our selfishness.

After we work a “we” program and gain a solid foundation for recovery, we begin to develop the ability to think of others and the “you” stage begins. “How are you doing?” “How can I help you?” “I am concerned about you.” “I care about you.”

This is a sign of true change, a sign that our lives are much more open and fulfilled. It is also a sign of our Higher Power’s love at work in our lives. We have begun to connect, not through want or need, but through willingness to give and share.

Today I pray that I may finally become able to love and care about others, that I may be able to reach out.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.

~ Brian Tracy ~

If you wanted to add an addition to your home, you would need to extend your home’s foundation and frame the room. You would need to match the roofline of your home to that of the addition. You would need to extend your electrical system and add heating and cooling elements. And you would need to paint or wallpaper the walls and add furniture and other decorations.

Similarly, your recovery is filled with abundant challenges. This addition to your life requires you to make many changes from how you once lived. You need to build a foundation of abstinence so you can reframe a new way of living. You need to create new goals so you can continue to take care of your needs and responsibilities. You need to cope with the pain of withdrawal and grieve the loss of your habit. You need to distance yourself from those who might lead you into temptation.

As you recover from your addiction, you will have more room in which to grow. You have also added a greater value to your life and enhanced the quality of day-to-day living.

I will challenge myself in my recovery so my life has greater value and inclining.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Some minds remain open long enough for truth not only to enter but to pass on through by way of a ready exit without pausing anywhere along the route.

~ Sister Elizabeth Kenny ~

Many times what someone says hurts us. If someone is pointing out a character defect or being critical of our work, we may find it difficult to listen. But before we react, we need to ask whether the person is being destructive or constructive in his or her speech. We can ignore destructive words by detaching, but we need to listen to constructive words. There is a reason to hear such words, even though they may hurt or make us feel defensive.

To become a total listener rather than a selective listener, we can let people finish what they need to say. Silence and an open mind can help us hear all their words. By truly listening and then responding maturely, we will grasp the message and perhaps see the love and caring with which it is delivered.

Tomorrow, I will not react to things said to me. I will truly listen and then respond maturely and gently.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing principles

Reading, discussing, studying, thinking, or any other form of intellectual pursuit may play a role in helping us find our Higher Power. But we don’t experience our Higher Power unless we put our principles into action. When we practice our principles, we set ourselves free so that our behavior does not stand between us and our Higher Power.

The insights we get from reading, dis-cussing, studying, thinking, and so on are healthy food for thought. To gain the freedom that comes from feeling our Higher Power, we practice the principles.

Have I stopped intellectualizing about God?

Higher Power, remind me that insight is not freedom and help me do what is necessary to find and to know you completely.

I will put my principles into action by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Luck is just a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.

~ OPRAH WINFREY ~

Newcomer

Nothing good is coming into my life right now. I feel stuck.

Sponsor

While we don't control what happens in our lives, we do have the ability to articulate our goals. We need to invite positive happenings by making room for them in our psyches and to recognize and acknowledge the positive when it does show up.

Prayer is one medium for acknowledging the gifts we already have and for affirming faith in the possibilities our lives hold. Writing—which might include making a gratitude list, writing about our current experience of one of the Twelve Steps, or writing down our goals so that they are clear to us—is another tool for cultivating positive attitudes that prepare us for success.

Visualization is another powerful tool. Visualization involves seeing in detail, in our mind's eye, exactly what we hope to accomplish. A writer I know began work on a book by visualizing the entire process of producing it: completing pages, mailing the manuscript, even holding the publisher's check in his hand. He visualized printing presses running, the binder gluing the cover, the distributor making shipments, readers buying the book. This process wasn't willful or magical; it was a tool for creating the mental conditions he needed to believe in himself and to complete his project. Visualization can change our mind-set and prepare us to recognize opportunity when we meet it.

Today, I rehearse the positive in my imagination, embracing it when it comes.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is one of the peculiar characteristics of the alcoholic that he almost invariably shows the worst side of his disposition to those people for whom he has the highest love and respect.

Many of us were Jolly Good Fellows in the bootleg joint but Hell on wheels at home and in our relationship with those we loved.

If your disposition is so lousy that it isn't fit to be brtiught out on the street, then it isn't worth house room.

Fortunately, sobriety usually cures this.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Sleepless Nights

Thank You, Father, that the longest night
ends in dawn and a new day.
Thank You, that Your mercies are new every morning.
Clear from my mind now all black thoughts of the
night and give me confidence as I face today.
Give me strength in my tiredness and the sure hope
that Your love will guard and keep me.

~ by Lancelot Andrewes ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

A DEPENDABLE RECIPE

When you make a cake, you know that whatever you put into your mixing bowl will appear in the cake itself, and, on the other hand, that unless a particular substance does go into the mixing bowl, it cannot appear in the finished article.

The thoughts and beliefs that fill our minds ultimately appear in the cake of experience, and to realize this is to save oneself a lot of trouble. No one puts kerosene in the mixing bowl because no one wants it in the cake, for everyone knows that, if it does enter the bowl, in the cake it will be.

. . . they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same (Job 4:8).

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Must Be Some Mistake

Miracles are examples of right thinking, aligning your perception with truth as God created it.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Kathi returned to her hotel room to spruce up before her evening meeting. As she stood in the bathroom brushing her teeth, she was shocked to see a tall burly man standing in her shower. Before she could say a word, he grabbed her and started to wrestle her to the floor. “Suddenly the whole scene went into slow motion, and I became an observer,” Kathi told me. “I started to scream, but it was as if I was watching myself from a distance. Then something came over me. I ceased to see myself as a victim of an attack, and my heart became filled with only love and compassion. All I could think was, there must be some mistake here. This man is my brother; there is no reason for him to do this.' All this happened in a flash, and in spite of the outer struggle that ensued, inside I felt at peace. Then something truly miraculous happened. Suddenly the man stopped and said, ‘There must be some mistake here; I’m in the wrong room. I have to go. I’m sorry.’ He ran out the door, and that quickly it was all over.”

A Course in Miracles reminds us that “miracles are natural. When they do not occur, something has gone wrong.” The laws of miracles reverse the laws of the world, which tell us that it is natural for life not to work, and when it does, it is an exception. But the universe was designed to work, and in spite of appearances, it does. All of life, from the tiniest amoeba to the trillions of stars, planets, and galaxies, operates with clockwork precision. Surely there is an intelligent force with an unfathomably creative mind and loving heart behind such magnificent perfection!

Success, harmony, and happiness are not mistakes; they are our natural state. When we remember that love is who we are, miracles occur continuously.

Help me remember that there is only love. Let me always be aware of Your comforting presence.

I am safe because love is the only reality.