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August 10

Step by Step

"I did not know that I had no power over alcohol, that I, alone and unaided, could not stop; that I was on a downgrade, tearing along at full speed with all my brakes gone, and that the end would be a total smash-up, death or insanity. I had already feared insanity for a long time ...I was not just drunk, I was crazy." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Stopped in Time," Ch. 13 ("Stars Don't Fall"), p 408.

Today, let me not forget that drinking propelled me not into mere drunkenness but into a blackened fog that defies any definition of responsible conduct. As such, my recovery hinges not only on total abstinence but also on spiritual and emotional repair of the dysfunctional thought and behavioral patterns that were either acquired by my drinking or worsened by it. And, even if I tell myself I am still unconvinced of a higher power, let me thank whatever force pulled me back from the "crazy" to find this program and let me not claim "credit" for finding it alone. Likewise, just as I did not come into the program on my own strength, let me accept that not drinking also cannot depend on my own strength. May I cling to whatever it was that rescued me so that I can progress in the program and in sobriety. Today, let me remember that I am doomed to repeat my past if I don't learn from it, and the most important lesson that I have is to continue trusting whatever force salvaged me from "crazy." And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

A SELFISH PROGRAM

A person shows their true self by how much they need other people.

~ Anonymous ~

What giving we have discovered in our Fellowship! From the very first meeting, we received an outstretched hand that offered us help. People gave freely and asked nothing in return. We, who had known so much taking, could hardly believe what we experienced. It just didn't seem real.

The reality is no put-on. There is a spirit of selfless fellowship in our Program. But the truth is that those who are giving are also keeping. The gem they are holding onto is their recovery. Only those who give what they have found away can keep it.

Every time we share with another human being, we add something to our spiritual bank account, allowing us to draw on it when extra demands are made upon our courage. In the measure in which we share our burdens, they become lighter.

Imagine people saving their lives by giving them away! Oh, that I can only be so selfish!

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds far divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.

~ Robert Anderson ~

What is the purpose of a loving partnership? It is to enjoy the relationship. We reach adulthood with only the tools and expectations we learned as children about close relationships. Those childhood experiences, good or bad, are what we unconsciously play out unless we continue to develop. The intensity of adult love and passion can carry us into deep water, beyond our ability to trust, honor, and partner with someone. When we look at what we are asking from our partner, it is often the thing we would ask of the perfect parent.

Now it is time to become adult and carry our share. Rather than focus on what we want in a partner, we need to learn to be the best partner we can be. Each partner sets the standards for a good relationship. We cannot allow ourselves to say, “I only act this way because my partner acts that way.” When we don’t give that excuse, when we expect the best of ourselves regardless of our partner, we set the standard that we seek, and the relationship changes.

Today I will be the best partner I can be, regardless of what my partner does.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life is short; eat dessert first.

~ Joy Sommers ~

Some say that attitude is everything. Many of us have endured abusive families, unreasonable bosses, and the uncertainty of illness. But not all of us carry the pain and fear of the past into the present. We have found new patterns of thinking and behaving now that we’ve come to this program for help. Here we cultivate the attitude that we each are doing the best we can with the knowledge we have. We can forgive ourselves for our transgressions.

When we decide to let go of experiences that can’t be changed, we find so much more joy in the present. The decision to seek joy and love now is like eating dessert first. The quickening pace of our lives as we age is reason enough to grasp every moment and savor its joy.

Being more light-hearted today promises me memories worth savoring.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to face my anxieties

I used to always think something bad was going to happen. It was less a thought than a general feeling. I wasn't aware of it all of the time—but it was there. I wanted to prevent it, but I didn't know how. I didn't really know what to prevent. Worrying like that made it harder for me to relax, harder for me to get anything done.

One day I finally got tired of worrying so much, realized I needed help, and contacted my counselor. First, she reassured me that many folks in recovery from addiction experience anxiety. She said it might subside over time, but that I could talk with a psychiatrist if I wanted to. Then she taught me a helpful relaxation exercise that I could practice at home, whether I consulted a doctor or not. Just acknowledging my anxiety helped me feel better that day-just as it does today.

I will make a list of what I am worried about today and trust that I can get help.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Forgiveness is better than revenge; for forgiveness is the sign of a gentle nature, but revenge the sign of a savage nature.

~ Epictetus ~

We remember how it felt when we plotted revenge against past enemies. If we are honest with ourselves we probably will remember feelings of anger, power, control, and frustration. If the actual vengeful act was carried out, we probably then experienced more anger, more frustration, and more pain.

These feelings have no place in a successful recovery. They inhibit our growth by keeping alive our past guilt, envy, and anger. Now that we have come to learn the wisdom of a Twelve Step approach to life, we can see the folly of revenge. This cannot be positive when our feelings are so destructive.

Forgiveness grants us a different kind of power. It gives us a chance to experience kindness, understanding, and humility. We become gentle in nature and more able to use our minds for positive change. We can recognize the destructive powers of vengeful thoughts, and work to change. We can understand why people have hurt us, and learn to forgive. In forgiveness, we heal, and we are healed.

Today let me build a friendship with forgiveness.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

To change one’s life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.

~ William James ~

Did you know that a mayfly, an aquatic insect, has a life span that ranges from thirty minutes to nearly a day? So when you hear people say, “Life is short,” it may seem to be a false statement when you compare the life span of a human being to other living creatures.

You may live for many more years, but each of these years is made up of precious moments. Squander these moments, put off doing something that needs immediate attention, or take for granted that you will have plenty of time to do what you need to do in the future, and you may find—at some point in your life—that you have wasted the time you had.

Strive to live each day as if it were your one and only beginning. Imagine that you are like the mayfly, with only a single twenty-four-hour period in which to fully appreciate your life and to take care of all of those things that need tending. Start now on your new beginning, and you will be that much farther down that road tomorrow.

I only have one today. How can I make it into a new beginning?

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

. . . We look upon Niagara and say, wonderful—thinking nothing of all that makes its glory and majesty possible. We look upon a man or woman of character; we are lost in admiration, but we omit to consider the thousand influences, conscious and unconscious, which have gone to make up the result.

~ Stephen S. Wise ~

We are molded and influenced by countless people, beginning with our parents. Relatives, friends, lovers, co-workers, and neighbors all play a role in making us who we are.

We may wish to blame others for who we are when we see only our negative sides. But we have positive sides, too, that may be admired. And just like our negative sides, people help shape our positive sides.

A lake at the base o[a mountain range gets its origin from the highest mountain, when its snowy cap is melted by the sun. This one trickle of melted snow expands into a stream, and then a river, by the countless trickles that feed into it. We, too, are like that lake. We are beautiful as we stand alone. Yet we must remember all the energy that contributed to our beauty.

Tonight I can be grateful for the people who have had a positive influence on me. I am beautiful because they showed me I am.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Adapting to the world

“Live only in today; don’t worry about to-morrow.” That’s a fine ambition, we may think, but what does it mean? “Living in today” means dealing only with what is at hand now and the available courses of action.

If we are worrying about matters in the past or future, or out of our realm, we can disengage ourselves from them. We cannot bend the world to our will.

Am I learning to fit myself to the world?

Higher Power, help me remember to conquer myself, not the world.

Today I will practice adapting myself to whatever happens by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Nursing her wrath to keep it warm . . .

~ ROBERT BURNS ~

Newcomer

A friend of mine treated me badly in the past. I feel uncomfortable whenever I think of her. Do I have to forgive her? Does she belong on my amends list?

Sponsor

Anger is a common human feeling; we can discharge it in a variety of ways that don't hurt us or anyone else, then move on. But grudges long and deeply held are something else. Obsession with what others have done poses a threat to our recovery.

Suppose we've taken an honest look at our own role and know that we ourselves did no harm. We may even have reviewed the conflict with a sponsor therapist, or spiritual adviser and are convinced that we're not deluding ourselves. We don't make amends to those we haven't harmed.

Relief comes only if we understand and accept that there are sick and suffering people, both in and out of recovery. We don't have to tolerate further harm, but we can choose not to pursue revenge or confrontation with those who are deluded, spiritually ill, or undeveloped. We can pray for their healing, as well as our own.

Today, I entrust the healing of all forms of sickness to my Higher Power.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

As it is almost impossible to remain entirely anonymous, our membership carries with it grave responsibility.

Once we were drunks and we “ain't any more.” All your friends and neighbors know it. Sooner or later they will ask you about it and if you answer them at all it is probable that you will have to admit your membership in our Fellowship.

We will be watched constantly thereafter, for AA is on trial with a hopeful yet sceptical world, and as we succeed or fail so will AA succeed or fail.

Guard your anonymity well, if you can, but, if you can’t—then guard AA well.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Surrender to God's Will

O Lord, You know what is best for me.
Let this or that be done as You please.
Give what You will,
How much You will,
When You will.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GOD'S ABUNDANCE FOR YOUR NEED

THE TENTH COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not covet . . . any thing that is thy neighbour's (Exodus 20:17).

There are several phrases concerning coveting, You are not to covet your neighbor's house, nor his wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is his. Much of the evil in the world is caused by wanting something to which one is not entitled. Moses knew what covetousness does to us in what we call today the unconscious or the subconscious.

Coveting affects the soul of man. Even if your coveting never leads you to take anything that does not belong to you, it undermines and ultimately rots your soul. It shuts you off from God. Why? Because to covet something means that you do not understand the Law of Being. You do not understand that whatever you are getting or lacking is the outpicturing and expression of your consciousness. Until you understand that you cannot be saved.

There is not anything in the world that you ever conceived of that God has not got in abundance. God's supply is infinite, and to envy someone else because he seems to have more is to deny your own contact with God.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Lord in the Tree

Pray as if all depends on God, and act as if all depends on you.

~ George Washington Carver ~

Two men were walking in a field when a bull charged them. One man scampered up a tree while the other stood defiantly in the bull's path. "Get up here, you idiot!" called the man in the branches.

"The Lord will protect me!" retorted the other man.

The bull butted the man vehemently and went on his way triumphantly, leaving the obstinate fellow dazed and confused. The first man came down from the tree to help his bruised friend.

“I thought for sure the Lord would help me!'' complained the injured man.

"He tried," answered his friend. "Didn't you hear Him calling you from the tree?"

A request for help from an unseen power often manifests itself through earthy channels. God's wonders are not restricted to supernatural miracles. Often miracles occur through people and tangible messages here on earth.

If you are looking for an answer to a question or problem, you may receive it through physical means. Someone may hand you a book, invite you to a lecture. Or speak a phrase that resonates within you. You may feel a tingling in your spine, get goose bumps, or simply feel a sense of clarity or fulfillment. Be sensitive to your feelings and energies when such a sign is presented. The word angel means "messenger,” and your message may come anytime through any means stay awake to listen!

Help me stay open to hear Your voice. Let me receive Your answer and act upon it.

I act upon the messages Spirit sends me.