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Daily Recovery Readings - March
March 1
Daily Reflections IT WORKS It works -- it really does. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 88 When I got sober I initially had faith only in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Desperation and fear kept me sober (and maybe a caring and/or tough sponsor helped!). Faith in a Higher Power came much later. This faith came slowly at first, after I began listening to others share at meetings about their experiences -- experiences that I had never faced sober, but that they were facing with strength from a Higher Power. Out of their sharing came hope that I too would -- and could -- "get" a Higher Power. In time, I learned that a Higher Power -- a faith that works under all conditions -- is possible. Today this faith, plus the honesty, openmindedness and willingness to work the Steps of the program, gives me the serenity that I seek. It works -- it really does. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day When I find myself thinking about taking a drink, I say to myself. "Don't reach out and take that problem back. You've given it to God and there's nothing you can do about it." So I forget about the drink. One of the most important parts of the A.A. program is to give our drink problem to God honestly and fully and never to reach out and take the problem back to ourselves. If we let God have it and keep it for good and then cooperate with Him, we'll stay sober. Have I determined not to take the drink problem back to myself? Meditation For The Day Constant effort is necessary if I am to grow spiritually and develop my spiritual life. I must keep the spiritual rules persistently, perseveringly, lovingly, patiently, and hopefully. By keeping them, every mountain of difficulty shall be laid low, the rough places of poverty of spirit shall be made smooth, and all who know me shall know that God is the Lord of all my ways. To get close to the spirit of God is to find life and healing and strength. Prayer For The Day I pray that God's spirit may be everything to my soul. I pray that God's spirit may grow within me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Brain Power Alone?, p. 60 To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too smart for our own good. We loved to have people call us precocious. We used our education to blow ourselves up into prideful balloons, though we were careful to hide this from others. Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone. "Scientific progress told us there was nothing man couldn't do. Knowledge was all powerful. Intellect could conquer nature. Since we were brighter than most folks (so we thought), the spoils of victory would be ours for the thinking. The god of intellect displaced God of our fathers. "But John Barleycorn had other ideas. We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-time losers. We saw that we had to reconsider or die." 12 & 12, pp. 29-30 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Danger in excitement____Mood alterations The lure of excitement is hard to understand. While we may think of ourselves as sensible, practical people, the hard truth is that many alcoholics have a strong need to feel excited. This excitement can take many forms, and some of them are dangerous. One lure of excitement comes through the impulsive need for change. Some of us have had weird habits of suddenly quitting jobs and pulling up stakes for no reason other than being bored. An even more destructive attraction is the belief that a new romance can restore our zest for living and bring new joys and happiness. The sober truth is that nobody can live sensibly and sanely by seeking continuous excitement and stimulation. We are better off with steady growth in the patterns we know best than with seeking excitement that finally leads to destruction. At the same time, we should not belittle the pleasures and joys we get through ordinary living. If we earn those pleasures and joys through responsible actions, they will give us far more happiness than momentary feelings of excitement. In quietness and confidence is our strength. I do not need to be excited in any way today. I am more effective and more in control when I am not being swayed by feverish emotion that distorts my judgment. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Made the decision to turn our will and lives over to God as we understand Him.--Step Three Care. This is what turn our will and lives over to care of our Higher Power. What peace follows! We see our God as caring, as loving. We turn everything over to this Higher Power, who can take better care of us than we can by ourselves. Care can guide us. If we want to do something, we can ask ourselves, "Would my Higher Power see this as an act of care?" If the answer is yes, then we go ahead. If the answer is no, we don't it. If we can't be sure, we wait and talk it over with our friends and sponsor. We wait until we know whether it would be an act of care or not. What wonderful guidance! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I give to You my will. I give to you my life. I gladly jump into Your loving arms. Action for the day: Today, I'll care about others. I'll find as many as I can to care for others. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave. --Frances Marion Each experience we have plays its part in the total picture of our lives. The steps we have taken, the path we travel today, and our direction tomorrow are not by chance. There is a pattern. We each have a destiny. We may have veered off the path in the past, and we may veer off it again. But we'll be guided back, and our paths intersect. None of us is traveling alone. We have each other and the creative force that is at the helm. When we look around us and reflect on how our lives are influenced by the persons close to us, we become aware that our presence affects their lives as well. Most of us could never have predicted the events that have influenced us. Nor can we anticipate what the future may hold. We can be certain, however, that we are safe; a power greater than ourselves is orchestrating our affairs. There were times we feared we'd never survive an experience. Perhaps we still struggle with fears about new experiences. But every experience adds a necessary thread to the pattern our life is weaving. We have the gift of reflection. We can understand, today, the importance of particular events of the past. Next month, next year, we'll understand today. I shall enjoy the richness of today. My life is weaving an intricate, necessary pattern that is uniquely mine. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “In this frame of mind, I went about my business and for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about that. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. pp. 40-41 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Man Who Mastered Fear He spent eighteen years in running away, and then found he didn't have to run. So he started A.A. in Detroit. It is undoubtedly too soon for me to say how much of a success I shall be as a husband in time to come. I do feel, though, that the fact that I finally grew up to a point where I could even tackle such a job is the apex of the story of a man who spent eighteen years running away from life. p. 257 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Eight - "Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers." Perhaps the fear will always lurk in every A.A. heart that one day our name will be exploited by somebody for real cash. Even the suggestion of such a thing never fails to whip up a hurricane, and we have discovered that hurricanes have a way of mauling with equal severity both the just and the unjust. They are always unreasonable. p. 169 ************************************************** ********* Those who laugh...last. --Cited in BITS & PIECES Don't give up before the miracle happens. "When I dig another out of trouble, the hole from which I lift him is the place where I bury my own." --Chinese proverb "Winners do what they have to do and losers do what they want." Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind. --Bruce Lee "The spiritual journey, the path of recovery and personal growth, is a detoxification process in which we bring up and out the negative beliefs we have carried with us from the past and that now poison the present." --Marianne Williamson "The principles you live by create the world you live in; if you change the principles you live by, you will change your world." -- Blaine Lee Sometimes there are no answers, there are only examples. --Mark Kostew Part of intimacy with God is listening. --Lori Sweety ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation UNDERSTANDING "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, but believe that thou mayest understand." -- Saint Augustine Today I understand that God is love and that it makes more sense to live my life with love than with anger, resentment and despair. I know that the answer to life, with all the problems that may arise, is love. Not simply loving those people who love me, but beginning to love and understand those who dislike or hate me. Being imperfect people in an imperfect world produces enemies. Today I love my world by listening to my critics, changing unreasonable attitudes, growing in the humility that comes from silence. Change is part of God's blessing of love. This I believe. This I understand. And step by step it is beginning to work in my life. May my love for the world give me an understanding of self. ************************************************** ********* "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord." Psalm 31:24 "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Hebrews 12:15 "Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles." Isaiah 40:31. But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. Matthew 4:4 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you look for things that make you happy, those are the things that you'll find. Lord, help me remember how lucky I am to be alive and how much goodness surrounds me. Determination and faith will carry you through to your goals. Lord, You and I together can accomplish my dreams. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Anxiety Attack? "[The] Power that brought us to this program is still with us and will continue to guide us if we allow it." Basic Text, p. 26 Ever had a panic attack? Everywhere we turn, life's demands overwhelm us. We're paralyzed, and we don't know what to do about it. How do we break an anxiety attack? First, we stop. We can't deal with everything at once, so we stop for a moment to let things settle. Then we take a "spot inventory" of the things that are bothering us. We examine each item, asking ourselves this question: "How important is it, really?" In most cases, we'll find that most of our fears and concerns don't need our immediate attention. We can put those aside, and focus on the issues that really need to be resolved right away. Then we stop again and ask ourselves, "Who's in control here, anyway?" This helps remind us that our Higher Power is in control. We seek our Higher Power's will for the situation, whatever it is. We can do this in any number of ways: through prayer, talks with our sponsor or NA friends, or by attending a meeting and asking others to share their experience. When our Higher Power's will becomes clear to us, we pray for the ability to carry it out. Finally, we take action. Anxiety attacks need not paralyze us. We can utilize the resources of the NA program to deal with anything that comes our way. Just for today: My Higher Power has not brought me all this way in recovery only to abandon me! When anxiety strikes, I will take specific steps to seek God's continuing care and guidance. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next. --Ursula LeGuin The world around us changes constantly. Trees turn from green to beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and brown in the fall. Yet, even if we watched the trees carefully, every minute of the day, we could not actually see the colors change. Change requires time, preparation, and patience. To make the changes we want, we need to let go of unhealthy but comfortable patterns that we're stuck in, the way the trees let their colors change and finally let go of their leaves altogether. We can't have total change right now, no matter how much we want it. It's important to accept both who we are now and who we are becoming. Just as the tree trusts without question that its leaves will grow and lets go of them when the time comes, we can believe in our own power to grow and let go of our accomplishments when the time is right. When we do, we can be assured that our lives will blossom again, like trees in the spring coming to life after a cold winter. Do I have any new blossoms today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. As my fathers planted/or me, so do I plant for my children. --The Talmud The first seeds of this spiritual program were planted years ago by men who also were desperately in need. Rather than restrict their attention to their own painful circumstances, they broke through to a new creative idea - it is in helping others that we help ourselves. They reached out eagerly to help fellow men and women in need. In the process they carried the message to others and found new healing relationships for themselves. This program, which is saving our lives, is here because men before us were willing to reach out and pass it along. We inherit countless resources and teachings from both our biological and our "foster" fathers in this program. The gift of a spiritually full life inspires and requires us to do as they did - pass it on. We keep the benefits of our recovery, not by holding on to them, but by planting new seeds from our harvest for those who come after us. I will give freely of my time and resources because the giving enriches me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Letting Go of Anger In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, its an emotion were all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, its okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe. . .. Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. Its also a beneficial one if its not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish or abuse people. Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes, its the final burst of energy before letting go, or acceptance, settles in. And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesnt have to be justified. It usually cant be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle our energy or ourselves. We don't have to feel guilty whenever we expense anger. We dont have to feel guilty. Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for our behaviors. I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that appropriately and safely. Today I will feel good about myself and accept myself just the way I am. I am open and ready to discover all the miracles of this day. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************ Journey to the heart for March Find Healing and Magic Within Yourself She was an Osage shaman. Her land, next to Cathedral Rock in Sedona, Arizona, was landscaped with a totem pole, a fire pit, a bridge leading to her house, and a garden of flowers and rocks. A river ran across her property, singing to all who quieted themselves enough to listen. A teepee stood close by, one used to house the sweat lodge ceremonies. It was during one such ceremony I had met her. I returned later to talk with her for a while. She welcomed me back, welcomed all who visited her to return to her land. She didn’t call it her land, she called it the land. She said it belonged to us all. “You don’t have to take this journey,” she said. “You don’t have to travel around searching for spiritual spots. All the wisdom, the experiences, the spiritual places you seek on this quest are within you.” While it’s fun to go on a trip, and trips often coincide with going to new places in our personal lives, we don’t have to load up the car and hit the road to find what we’re looking for. The places of power we seek are within us. Places of comfort, joy, wisdom, silence, healing, peace. The places we visit often reflect those qualities, reinforce them, remind us that they’re there. But the places, the locations we visit, are only mirrors, extensions of ourselves. The healing and magic we seek are not someplace else. They are within each of us. ************************************************ More Language Of Letting Go Learn to say whatever “Do you have issues with drama addiction?” I asked my daughter one day, in a serious interviewer kind of voice. “Of course I do,” she said. “I’m the original drama queen.” “Can I interview you about it?” I asked. There was a long pause on the phone. “I’ve got a better suggestion,” she said. “Why don’t you interview yourself?” I’ve been addicted to many things this lifetime– alcohol, heroin, morphine, Dilaudid, cocaine, barbituates, Valium, and any other substance that physically or psychologically promised to change the way I feel. I’ve been addicted to caffeine, tobacco and nicotine– cigarettes and Cuban cigars– and opium and hashish,too. I’ve been caught up in other people’s addictions to these substances as well. Some people might say I have an addictive personality. I don’t know if I agree with the concept that we can become addicted to people, but if the folks say you can are right. I’ve probably been addicted to certain of those,too. But of all the addictions possible on this planet, I’ve found my addiction to drama absolutely the hardest to recognize, accept, deal with, and overcome. The rush of emotional energy I feel from drama at the theater, on television (small or big screen), in a book, and most preferably acted out in real life (mine) is the last legal, legitimate jones that society allows. It’s not politically correct to smoke, act out sexually, be a nonrecovering alcoholic, or shoot drugs. But despite all the evolution in consciousness that’s unfolded and gotten us to this point, drama addiction is more than politically correct. Drama addiction is in. Right now, for many people, it’s one of the only things giving meaning to life. Potential guests line up, volunteering to have their relationship and court battles– things which once were guarded secrets– broadcast on international cable and satellite TV. Our society can’t wait to peek and snoop into their lives. Broadcasting real-life soap operas guarantees the ratings will soar. In 1999, I wrote the above words in a chapter on drama addiction in my book called Playing It By Heart. But the concept of drama addiction, and transcending it, has been around for a long, long time. In 1937, author Emmet Fox wrote an essay in Find and Use Your Inner Power. The essay’s title was “Don’t Be a Tragedy Queen.” “Self pity, by making us feel sorry for ourselves, seems to provide an escape from responsibility, but it is a fatal drug nevertheless,” he wrote. “It confuses the feelings, blinds the reason, and puts us at the mercy of outer conditions. … Don’t be a tragedy queen– whether you are a man or a woman, for it is not a question of gender but of mental outlook. Absolutely repudiate a crown of martyrdom. If you cannot laugh at yourself (which is the best medicine of all), at least try to handle the difficulty in an objective way, as though it concerned somebody else.” Maybe the antithesis to being a drama king or queen has been around even longer than that. Three tiny Buddha statues sit before me on my writing desk. One is Serene. One is Smiling. One is Sorrowful, doubled over in compassion for the world. All you can see is the top of his head. “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you,” Jesus said. “Nirvana is a state of consciousness,” wrote Anne Bancroft, in an introduction to the Dhammapada, a book containing the teachings of Buddha. Enlightenment and paradise aren’t places we visit. They’re within our hearts and heads. Say, “It’s a nightmare,” if you must. Even say, “Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening, much less happening to me.” But whether you say the words with calmness and serenity, bursting with laughter or a mere giggle, or doubled over with compassion for the pain of the world, learning to speak the language of letting go in the days, months, and years of the millennium ahead means learning to say whatever,too. ************************************************ Decorating Life The World as Home by Madisyn Taylor Each day we choose to decorate our life just as we do our homes. There are few things more thrilling than having a new house or an empty room to decorate. Our imaginations soar as we consider the many possibilities. In the same way, our lives offer us the opportunity to express ourselves within various contexts, to ask ourselves questions about what we want to see as we move through our days and how we want things to flow. Some people do this instinctively, moving through the various environments they inhabit and shifting the energy with their presence. These people have a knack for decorating life. This can be as simple as the way they dress, the way they speak, or the fact that they always bring a bouquet of wildflowers when they come for a visit. As we move through the world, we make a statement, whether we intend to or not. We shift the energy one way when we enter a room dressed elegantly and simply, and another when we show up in bright, cheerful colors and a floppy hat. One is not better than the other. It is simply a question of the mood we wish to create. What we wear is just one choice we can focus on. The way we speak to people, or touch them, shifts the energy more profoundly than almost anything else. The words we speak and the tone in which we say them are the music we choose to play in the world that is our home. Some of us fill the space with passionate arias, others with healing hymns. Again, one is not better than the other. We are all called to contribute. Just as we consciously create an environment within our homes, we can consciously choose to decorate life itself with our particular energy. Ideally, in doing so, we express our deeper selves, so that the adornments we add to the world make it more meaningful, more beautiful, and as welcoming as a beloved home. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Now that we’re free and no longer chemically-dependent, we have so much more control over our thinking. More than anything, we’re able to alter our attitudes. Some members of Alcoholics Anonymous, in fact, choose to think of the letters AA as an abbreviation for “Altered Attitudes.” In the bad old days, I almost always responded to any optimistic or positive statement with “Yes, but…” Today, in contrast, I’m learning to eliminate that negative phrase from my vocabulary. Am I working to change my attitude? Am I determined to “accentuate the positive…”? Today I Pray May I find that healing and strength which God provides to those who stay near Him. May I keep to the spiritual guidelines of The Program. Considering the Steps, taking the Steps — one by one — then practicing them again and again. In this is my salvation. Today I Will Remember To practice at least one Step. ************************************************ One More Day There is no way to peace. Peace is the way. – A. J. Muste So often we look for the easy answers and quick remedies. We want to reach our goals — now. Whatever we’re looking for (peace, love, acceptance) we may be making the mistake of seeing these qualities as concrete, hold-in-my-hand goals. Gradually, we’re coming to the understanding that those qualities we seek are not destinations; they are paths and directions; we can consiously take. We can’t go out and find love, but we can choose to be loving. There is no path to peace or to acceptance or to understanding, but we can base our lives on these qualities, and by doing so we claim them. What I seek may already be within my soul. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ANONYMITY Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. Albert Camus When I first joined OA, the tool and tradition of Anonymity seemed a little strange to me. What’s wrong with people knowing what members do for work? I’m not ashamed of my career, why should I not talk about it? What’s with this cult-like behavior around initials for names? And what do they mean by Anonymity being the spiritual foundation of recovery? And then, bit by bit, it dawned on me. When we don’t talk about our jobs, when we don’t care about our last names, three very important things happen. First, we don’t get distracted. Second, it makes us all equal. Third, it starts us on the road of leaving judgment behind. An Elizabeth is just an Elizabeth, whether she’s a queen, a unemployed single mother or an actress. The equality that comes with that means that I am not more or less, not better or worse than you. This equality strengthens our unity. We are all in the same boat. And with this equality we can row in unity towards recovery. One day at a time ... I will remember that my fellow OA members are my equals, that I can let go of judgment, and that the freedom that comes with this helps me concentrate on recovery. ~ Isabella ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that's exactly what this book is about. It's main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. - Pg. 45 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote You transform into your own best ally as you face your fears. Humanity's greasiest fear is the fear of death, physiologists tell us. The death of your addiction is forcing you to confront how close you brushed by death and in this confrontation an equally potent force will rise up to meet your fear and demonstrate your courage. Even in the face of fear and death my true ally inside arises to demonstrate my courage. Healing Light I am surrounding myself with healing light. I am inviting a warm, yellow/white light to surround me. I breathe it in deeply into all parts of me and I breathe out any lingering fear or darkness. Healing energy is quietly pulsing in and around me, imbuing me with a feeling of well being. I allow this energy to fill each pore of my body. This healing energy has its own intelligence and I become one with it and direct it towards those parts of me that need healing. I rest in this vibrating yellow-white light and let it fill me, surround me and make me well. Even the act of allowing this lifts me up. I am filled with healing energy - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Even when it hurts like hell, hold fast. The pain is the arrow coming out, not the arrow going in. Faith is not about trusting a God who will rescue you from arrows but trusting in the process. Faith will center you, not rescue you. As the pain and fear pass, I hold fast. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you believe the Big Book, live it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will feel good about myself and accept myself just the way I am. I am open and ready to discover all the miracles of this day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It takes a whole lot of medicine darlin', for me to pretend I'm somebody else.- 'Guilty' Randy Newman. |
March 2
Daily Reflections HOPE Do not be discouraged. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 60 Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat. Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Over a period of drinking years, we've proved to ourselves and to everybody else that we can't stop drinking by our own willpower. We have been proved helpless before the power of alcohol. So the only way we could stop drinking was by turning to a Power greater than ourselves. We call that Power God. The time that you really get this program is when you get down on your knees and surrender yourself to God, as you understand Him. Surrender means putting your life into God's hands. Have I made a promise to God that I will try to live the way He wants me to live? Meditation For The Day Spirit-power comes from communication with God in prayer and times of quiet meditation. I must constantly seek spirit-communication with God. This is a matter directly between me and God. Those who seek it through the medium of the church do not always get the joy and the wonder of spirit communication with God. >From this communication comes life, joy, peace, and healing. Many people do not realize the power that can come to them from direct spirit-communication. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may feel that God's power is mine. I pray that I may be able to face anything through that power. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Resolving Fear, p. 61 Fear somehow touched about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve. But did we not often set the ball rolling ourselves? << << << >> >> >> The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain. Then we shall need to find both the courage and the grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 67-68 2. Grapevine, January 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Do we need some Fear? Courage It's easy to get into an argument about the role of fear in our lives. Some say that we need some fear…. It helps us get out of the path of an oncoming truck. Is that really true? If it is, it's still not like the fear that was present with alcoholism. This fear was more likely to make us freeze and lose all power of action in the face of a threat. It was the sort of fear that paralyzes us, making us unable to move out of the way when the truck is bearing down on us. Fear is even more destructive when it keeps us from doing the simple things we need to function in our lives. Fear certainly can't be helpful when it makes us unable to face a new customer or ride in an airplane for necessary business travel. Some people even put off medical exams simply because they fear bad news… and thus delay treatment, so that their condition becomes worse. We might not need to get rid of all fear, but we do need to dispose of the unhealthy kind that keeps us from necessary actions on our own behalf. A really strong sense of the program can help me deal with fear today. One good idea for coping with fear is to remember that if God is for us, nobody can really be against us. Keeping that thought in mind can help stabilize our feelings in the face of threatening situations. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Love conquers all; let us surrender to love.---Virgil In Step Three, we turn our lives over to God's care, God love. If we turn our lives over to a loving God, we can conquer all. If you need proof, look around at your next meeting. The room will be full of people who know that love conquers addiction. Like them, we've surrendered to love. Once we've done this, we can't use again. For us, using alcohol or others drugs is an act of hate, not love. To Face the hard things in life, we'll need a lot of love. We'll find love in our Higher Power, groups, and friends .We're all working at turning our lives over to love. Prayer for the Day: There was a time that love scared me. It still does, at times. Higher Power, help me see that You are love, and I must follow where love takes me. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. --Erica Jong There was a time when we didn't believe we had any talents. We couldn't imagine we had any purpose or any gift to give to the world. But it's true: We all have talents, many of them. If we each haven't yet discovered ours, we soon will. With time and the Steps and friends, we will be encouraged to recognize them, to celebrate them, to cultivate them, to dare to give them away. Utilizing our talents fully, which is part of life's bigger plan, may lead us to new jobs, new friends, to places presently unknown. The prospect of new horizons may excite us. It may also elicit dread. We can trust that, just as we are given no problems too big to handle, we are given no talents too great to develop. The strength to move ahead will always be available if we have faith. And the program offers us faith. I will look for my talents today. I will also look for talents in my friends. I can celebrate them, and soon the way to use them will become clear. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dinning room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail. After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. I remember having several more that night and plenty next morning. I have a shadowy recollection of being in a airplane bound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife. The driver escorted me for several days. I know little of where I went or what I said and did. Then came the hospital with the unbearable mental and physical suffering. p. 41 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. I grew up in a small town outside Akron, Ohio, where the life was typical of any average small town. I was very much interested in athletics, and because of this and parental influence, I didn't drink or smoke in either grade or high school. p. 258 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Eight - "Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers." No individuals have been more buffeted by such emotional gusts than those A.A.'s bold enough to accept employment with outside agencies dealing with the alcohol problem. A university wanted an A.A. member to educate the public on alcoholism. A corporation wanted a personnel man familiar with the subject. A state drunk farm wanted a manager who could really handle inebriates. A city wanted an experienced social worker who understood what alcohol could do to a family. A state alcohol commission wanted a paid researcher. These are only a few of the jobs which A.A. members as individuals have been asked to fill. Now and then, A.A. members have bought farms or rest homes where badly beat-up topers could find needed care. The question was--and sometimes still is--are such activities to be branded as professionalism under A.A. tradition? pp. 169-170 ************************************************** ********* The alcoholic is in no greater peril than when he takes sobriety for granted. God, help me remember that letting go is a powerful behavior, one that can change my life and impact the lives of others. Help me be patient with others and myself as letting go becomes a way of life. --Melody Beattie Laughter, like a drenching rain, settles the dust, cleans and brightens the world around us, and changes our whole perspective. --Jan Pishok A big part of my "conversion" has been full acceptance of myself, warts and all. --Mary Zink God is all around us, all the time. --Martha Leonard "Let us always be open to the miracle of the second chance." --Reverend David Stier ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation INTEGRITY "Men of integrity, by their very existence, rekindle the belief that as a people we can live above the level of moral squalor." -- John Gardner I understand integrity to be a willingness to make sacrifices for what we believe to be true. The living of a spiritual program must lead to integrity. Not so many years ago integrity was not an understood word in my vocabulary because of my unwillingness to make sacrifices. I was so selfishly preoccupied with my "wants" that I gave little thought to the needs of others. The more I lost myself in "self", the greater was the emotional pain. Today I live the paradox that it is only in giving that I truly receive. May I daily express the paradox of sacrifice in my life. ************************************************** ********* But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Of Him 1 Peter 2:9 "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalms 27:14 "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4 In quietness and in trust shall be your strength. Isaiah 30:15 [God] is not far from each of us. Acts 17:27 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Speak to God openly and honestly from your heart and then do not allow yourself to worry. Lord, You are my protection and my provider when I put my trust in you. Keep yourself young in spirit always by thinking new thoughts and getting rid of old habits. Lord, may my spirit never become frail and my abilities never become barren. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Success "Any form of success was frightening and unfamiliar." Basic Text, p. 14 Before coming to NA, few of us had much experience with success. Every attempt to stop using on our own had ended in failure. We had begun to give up hope of finding any relief from active addiction. We had grown accustomed to failure, expecting it, accepting it, thinking it was just part of our makeup. When we stay clean, we begin to experience success in our lives. We begin to take pride in our accomplishments. We start to take healthy risks. We may take some knocks in the process, but even these can be counted as successes if we learn from them. Sometimes when we fulfill a goal, we hesitate to "pat ourselves on the back" for fear that we will seem arrogant. But our Higher Power wants us to succeed, and wants us to share with our loved ones the pride we take in our accomplishments. When we share our successes with others in NA, they often begin to believe that they can achieve their goals as well. When we succeed, we help lay the groundwork for others who follow in our path. Just for today: I will take time to savor my successes. I will share my victories with an "attitude of gratitude." ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow. --William Blake We have a right to claim our own feelings. Sometimes we get angry, but hold it inside because we think it's wrong to feel it. If anger builds inside us, it expands like a balloon ready to burst. If not released, it can make us depressed, or even physically ill. When we give ourselves permission to feel anger, we are better able to get rid of it in a healthy way. Our inner voice can tell us how to let go of our anger. And once we've released it, we can easily get in touch with the feelings that caused it. When we recognize our anger for what it is--one feeling among many others that makes us unique--it loses its significance, and we can prevent it from consuming us. Indira Ghandi said, "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." When we let go of our anger we can honestly embrace each other with open arms. Am I carrying around anger which could be released today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The fir tree has no choice about starting its life in the crack of a rock.... What [nourishment] it finds is often meager, and above the ground appears a twisted trunk, grown in irregular spurts, marred by dead and broken branches, and bent far to one side by the battering winds. Yet at the top ... some twigs hold their green needles year after year, giving proof that - misshapen, imperfect, scarred - the tree lives. --Harriet Arrow We often wish we had been born into better circumstances or blame our parents for our problems. Like the fir tree we could say, "If only I had taken sprout in a fertile meadow, life would be easier." "If only I had had a better life as a boy . . ." "If only I didn't have my particular hardships . . ." By accepting the facts of our own lives, we mature into feelings of joy and pleasure alongside our griefs. Every man has to struggle with his own unique set of circumstances, even if they are not fair. Fairness is not an issue. Reality is what we have to deal with. I will accept life on its own terms and rejoice in it. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Feelings on the Job Im furious about my job. Another man got a promotion that I believe I deserve. Im so mad I feel like quitting. Now my wife says I should deal with my feelings. What good will that does? He still got the promotion. --Anonymous Our feelings at work are as important as our feelings in any other area of our life. Feelings are feelings - and wherever we incur them, dealing with them is what helps us move forward and grow. Not acknowledging our feelings is what keeps us stuck and gives us stomachaches, headaches, and heartburn. Yes, it can be a challenge to deal with feelings on the job. Sometimes, things can appear useless. One of our favorite tricks to avoid dealing with feelings is telling ourselves its useless. We want to give careful consideration to how we deal with our feelings on our job. It may be appropriate to take our intense feelings to someone not connected to our workplace and sort through them in a safe way. Once we've experienced the intensity of the feelings, we can figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves on the job. Sometimes, as in any area of our life, feelings are to be felt and accepted. Sometimes, they are pointing to a problem in us, or a problem we need to resolve with someone else. Sometimes, our feelings are helping to point us in a direction. Sometimes, they're connected to a message, or a fear: Ill never be successful. . .. Ill never get what I want. . .. Im not good enough. . . . Sometimes, the solution is a spiritual approach or remedy. Remember, whenever we bring a spiritual approach to any area of our life, we get the benefit. We wont know what the lesson is until we summon the courage to stand still and deal with our feelings. Today, I will consider my feelings at work as important as my feelings at home or anywhere else. I will find an appropriate way to deal with them. Today I am letting go of all energy that is resisting the truth about me. That energy is being replaced with positive and loving energy, and I am accepting that I am okay just the way that I am. I am now open to see the miracle of love in my life. --Ruth Fishel ************************************************ Journey to the Heart Value Your Past Value your past and all the lessons you have learned. How easy it is to diminish the importance of our past and look on our history with a critical eye. We see the mistakes, we see what we think we should have known, we see what we could have done better. What we forget is that the reason we are able to see so clearly is because of the past and because of what we have learned. Often, it is the very experiences we regret that have created this clear vision. Value what you’ve learned in your past. Each lesson has led to the next. Every person and event in each part of your life has been invaluable in shaping and forming you– in creating the person you are today. Each part of your past, each person who has come into your life and shared experiences with you has helped you to open your heart more to life, love, God, others, and yourself. Even those experiences you think of as wrong, or mistakes, have been an important and necessary part in creating you. Sometimes, those experiences formed the most important parts of you because they created in you compassion and understanding for others. Often the most painful events of your life are the ones that opened you to your ability to bring healing, help, and hope to others. Your past taught you to love– others and yourself. It has helped you become a channel for Divine love and a force for good in this world. When you look back at your past, look tenderly and gently at all you have been through. Look with the eyes of the soul. See that each experience was necessary to bring you home to your heart. ************************************************ More Language Of Letting Go Don’t stir the emotional pot “My bill collector called today,” a friend said to me one day. “I love it when she calls. Every time she does, we have a good fight. She tells me that I owe her company money. Then I say I know. She tells me that my balance is due. I tell her I know that,too. Then she asks why I haven’t sent a payment. I tell her that the reason I didn’t send a payment is because I told her last month I could send only twenty dollars a month and she said not to send it, because that wasn’t enough. That’s when the screaming starts. Then she yells at me to get a job. I scream back that I’m trying and she ought to get a better job herself. Then we both slam down the phone and don’t talk to each other until she calls again next month.” Some of us intentionally stir up drama to release emotions, get the pot brewing, and add a little energy to our lives. Sometimes we can cause trouble in areas where we’d be better off without it. Turning our home into a battleground doesn’t leave us a good place to live. Sometimes when we’re stressed, we just like to get those emotions out. And what better way to get them out than by engaging in a good, old-fashioned fight. Just make sure you’re not making an enemy out of someone whom you’d rather have as a friend. And check to see that you’re not taking your stress out on an innocent bystander, a lover, family, or friend. God, help me let go of my need for dysfunctional drama in my life. Help me make sure I’m not taking my stress out on the people I love. If I am, show me another way to release my emotions. ************************************************ That Which Sustains You Home and Land Meditation Just as we take care of our friends and families, our homes and Mother Earth take care of us. Our homes give us a place of refuge—a sanctuary that stands between us and the elements of nature and the rest of the world. The earth is an unselfish giver of life and the steward of our physical and spiritual needs. The earth’s bountiful plant life nourishes us, gives us air, and offers us cooling shade. Her waters quench our thirst, and her beauty stirs our souls. Yet it is easy to take both of these wonderful sources of our blessings for granted. Expressing the gratitude you feel toward your home and the earth for the blessings each provides you can help you stay conscious of where many of the gifts in your life come from. Each time you give thanks, you’ll be reminded of the importance of caring for your home and for Mother Earth. There is a simple and beautiful meditation you can perform to show your gratitude. Begin by finding a quiet place where you can be alone. Sit comforta! bly and breathe deeply until you feel relaxed and then read the following out loud: "Thank you, home, for allowing me to live within your walls. Thank you for giving me shelter, warmth, and security. Thank you for allowing me to live my life in your womb, for staying strong and sturdy, for supporting me, and for your beauty. Thank you, earth, for the land that I live on and for allowing me to steward life with you. Thank you for allowing me to walk upon your soil, cultivate you, and live in partnership with you. Thank you for supporting my home and my family. Thank you, plants, minerals, and animals that dwell on the land that I steward. Thank you for allowing me to experience your beauty, share in your wonderment of life, and for the honor of living with all of you on this earth. Thank you for the wisdom and joy you bring to humanity. I honor you." You can perform this meditation as often as you like and anytime you feel particularly thankful for the many blessings that you have received. Each time you do, you’ll reaffirm and strengthen your connection with all that protects, supports, and sustains you. Published with permission from Daily OM ************************************************ A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Why don’t I spend part of today thinking about my assets, rather than my liabilities? Why not think about victories, instead of defeats — about the ways in which I am gentle and kind? It’s always been my tendency to fall into a sort of cynical self-hypnosis, putting derogatory labels on practically everything I’ve done, said or felt. Just for today, I’ll spend a quiet half hour trying to gain a more positive perspective on my life. Do I have the courage to change the things I can? Today I Pray Through quietness and a reassessment of myself, may I develop a more positive attitude. If I am a child of God, created in His image, there must be goodness in me. I will think about that goodness, and the ways it manifest itself. I will stop putting myself down, even in my secret thoughts. I will respect what is God’s. I will respect myself. Today I Will Remember Self-Respect is Respect For God. ************************************************ One More Day Bitterness and anger seem to be very closely related and are interchangeable words for the same emotion. – Robert Lovering Why me? We may rage with anger or disbelief when we finally realize we may never fully regain good health. In the beginning, while we are still getting used to our new situation, this happens to most of us. And then we ask, “Why me?” Having a chronic medical condition is not as likely to create bitterness as much as making poor choices about how to respond to it. If we choose loneliness or a lifestyle which allows no room for laughter, we choose bitterness. By making healthier choices, we affirm our belief in ourselves, in the possibilities life has to offer. We feel more loving toward the people around us and in doing so, are more loving toward ourselves. I can learn to balance my negative feelings with contentment and happiness. I can gain strength from my illness. ***************************************** One Day At A Time EXPERIENCE "I'm not afraid of storms . . . for I'm learning how to sail my ship." Louisa May Alcott We spend our youth living and experiencing life. At some point our experiences become lessons. We who are compulsive eaters weren't aware of that when we began to eat out of control. Deep down, however, we were living and experiencing food issues. These issues later would become our lessons. I am so grateful that the Twelve Steps made it possible for me to look at my past experiences and see the reality they presented. If not, I may have continued life in denial. One Day at a Time . . . I will use the lessons I have learned to make the quality of my life better. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. - Pg. 19 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote During crisis, we must not act as isolated persons with nothing gained from fellowship. We stick together. If one of us pulls away, we pull them back. WE recover as WE, not as an I. As I walk this road of recovery, let me know I don't walk alone. In fact I march in an army of WE. Being Authentic I will stop fighting with myself and give my mind, body and heart the rest and inner quiet that they are craving. I'm not going to rush myself into wellness or force my thoughts into a phony sort of gaiety. I will accept myself as I am and feel what I feel. Thoughts and feelings won't kill me. Resisting the ones I don't want to experience puts me in a constant struggle with my own insides. My random thoughts and feelings are trying to tell me something. If I turn away and refuse to listen, I only hurt myself. Instead I will let the adult in me listen to those younger, fearful or anxious selves that are bubbling up inside of me just as a loving parent would allow a child who is hurt to pour out all of their feelings knowing that the simple act of pouring, it in itself, the cure. I am willing to know myself - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If people don't agree with you, so what? If people do agree with you, so what? Our program is one of suggestions, not conformity. I do not need to conform to be comfortable. 'Comfortable' is conscious contact, not conscious copycat. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Change your behavior to meet your goals, not your goals to meet your behavior. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am letting go of all energy that is resisting the truth about me. That energy is being replaced with positive and loving energy, and I am accepting that I am okay just the way I am. I am now open to see the miracle of love in my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote If everyone approached getting their driver's license like they approach the Twelve Steps, I'd have the highways to myself. - Ted H. |
March 3
Daily Reflections OVERCOMING SELF-WILL So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62 For so many years my life revolved solely around myself. I was consumed with self in all forms-- self-centeredness, self-pity, self-seeking, all of which stemmed from pride. Today I have been given the gift, through the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, of practicing the Steps and Traditions in my daily life, of my group and sponsor, and the capacity--if I so choose--to put my pride aside in all situations which arise in my life. Until I could honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem in many situations and react appropriately inside and out; until I could discard my expectations and understand that my serenity was directly proportional to them, I could not experience serenity and sound sobriety. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day After we've made a surrender, the drink problem is out of our hands and in the hands of God. The thing we have to do is to be sure that we never reach out and take the problem back into our own hands. Leave it in God's hands. Whenever I'm tempted to take a drink, I must say to myself: "I can't do that. I've made a bargain with God not to drink. I know God doesn't want me to drink and so I won't do it." At the same time I say a little prayer to God for the strength needed to keep the bargain with Him. Am I going to keep my bargain with God? Meditation For The Day I will try to grow in this new life. I will think of spiritual things often and unconsciously I will grow. The nearer I get to the new life, the more I will see my unfitness. My sense of failure is a sure sign that I am growing in the new life. It is only struggle that hurts. In sloth--physical, mental or spiritual--there is no sense of failure or discomfort. But with struggle and effort, I am conscious not of strength but of weakness, until I am really living the new life. But in the struggle, I can always rely on the power of God to help me. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may see signs of my growth in the new life. I pray that I may always keep trying to grow. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It A Different Swinging Door, p. 62 When a drunk shows up among us and says that he doesn't like the A.A. principles, people, or service management, when he declares that he can do better somewhere else--we are not worried. We simply say, "Maybe your case really is different. Why don't you try something else?" If an A.A. member says he doesn't like his own group, we are not disturbed. We simply say, "Why don't you try another one? Or start one of your own." To those who wish to secede from A.A. altogether, we extend a cheerful invitation to do just that. If they can do better by other means, we are glad. If after trial they cannot do better, we know they face a choice: They can go mad or die or they can return to A.A. The decision is wholly theirs. (As a matter of fact, most of them do come back.) Twelve Conceptions, p. 72 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places What will this change bring? ____ Change When facing change, it's not unusual to feel both apprehension and expectancy. We are apprehensive because we know that change includes risk. We feel expectancy, however, because we know that improvement can come only through some kind of change. The way to handle change is to see it as part of the higher plan working in our lives. If we believe that our lives are in the care and keeping of our Higher Power, we have to know that everything is in good hands. As change occurs, it is simply part of a plan that is unfolding in order to bring more good into our lives. We should not expect change without temporary disruptions or even surprises that appear to be setbacks. All that's necessary is to know that change is good if we maintain the right attitude toward it. It's also helpful to review the past changes that have been so important in our lives. Once change has occurred, we come to accept it as normal, forgetting that it involved a lot of anxiety at one time. So it is with any change that is unfolding now. It's part of a wonderful plan that cannot fail. I accept change without fear or superstition. Change is built into the nature of things, and will always be part of our lives. I accept it as readily as I accept change of the seasons. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple But the alcoholic . . . will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. Alcoholics Anonymous Our program says three things are more important than knowing ourselves: (1) admitting we have no control over our addiction, (2) believing in a Higher Power, and (3) turning our lives over to the care of that Higher Power. knowing ourselves makes our lives better in recovery. But it does not give us sobriety. Sobriety starts with surrender to our Higher Power. We now know we need faith and strength we get from a Higher Power. We also need the support of others in our program. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thanks you for my sobriety today. Teach me what I need to know about myself to do Your will today. Action for the Day: Today, I'll talk with my sponsor about the change in my spirit that keeps me sober. ************************************************** ********* Each Day A New Beginning Most kids hear what you say; some kids do what you say; but all kids do what you do. --Kathleen Casey Theisen We are role models for many people: our children, our co-workers, other women in the program. Step Twelve encourages us to set good examples for anyone who might be looking on. Living a principled life takes practice, and progress, not perfection, is hoped for. Abstinence has offered is a new set of tools for shaping our behavior. No longer must we regret what we did yesterday or last week. We are learning to monitor our actions, but even more importantly, we are defining our values. They, in turn, influence what we say and do. Thoughtful responses to the situations we encounter require conscious attention to those events. We need reminding, perhaps, that our behavior is continuously telling others who we are, what we value, and how we view people close to us. All of us, consciously or otherwise, imitate behavior patterns of persons we admire. Unfortunately, we sometimes mimic unfavorable behavior, too. There are those casting their attentions our way. The opportunity to model favorable behavior awaits us. People will follow my lead. I shall walk softly, humbly and lovingly. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went carefully over that evening in Washington. Not only had I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against the first drink. This time I had not thought of the consequences at all. I had commenced to drink as carelessly as thought the cocktails were ginger ale. I now remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they prophesied that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come—I would drink again. They had said that though I did raise a defense, it would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all. I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was the crushing blow. pp. 41-42 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. All of this changed when I went to college. I had to adapt to new associations and associates, and it seemed to be the smart thing to drink and smoke. I confined drinking to weekends, and drank normally in college and for several years thereafter. p. 258 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Eight - "Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers." We think the answer is "No. Members who select such full-time careers do not professionalize A.A.'s Twelfth Step." The road to this conclusion was long and rocky. At first, we couldn't see the real issue involved. In former days, the moment an A.A. hired out to such enterprises, he was immediately tempted to use the name Alcoholics Anonymous for publicity or money-raising purposes. Drunk farms, educational ventures, state legislatures, and commissions advertised the fact that A.A. members served them. Unthinkingly, A.A.'s so employed recklessly broke anonymity to thump the tub for their pet enterprise. For this reason, some very good causes and all connected with them suffered unjust criticism from A.A. groups. More often than not, these onslaughts were spearheaded by the cry "Professionalism! That guy is making money out of A.A.'s Twelfth Step work. The violation in these instances was not professionalism at all; it was breaking anonymity. A.A.'s sole purpose was being compromised, and the name of Alcoholics Anonymous was being misused. p. 170 ************************************************** ********* Let us always love the best in others - and never fear their worst. "In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth." --Mahatma Gandhi Whenever you fail or miss out on something you always have tomorrow. Every dawn is a symbol of renewal, telling you to get up, go out and try again. The night of fear has passed, the light of God defines my pathway. God, help me let go of my unreasonable fears, the ones that are preventing me from living my life. --Melody Beattie Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die. We surrender to win. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GENIUS "The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers." -- Arthur Koestler I need to remember that genius is often simplicity itself. The original thought need not be abstract, intellectual or technical; the thought exists to transmit the message. In the slogans "Keep it Simple", "One Day at a Time", and "Don't Pick up the First Drink", wisdom combines with simplicity to produce sobriety. God is at work outside of His church and the spiritual message always brings healing. A.A. is more than a "fellowship of genius", it is divinity set to a program. What began with a group of alcoholics will cross new frontiers into the healing of the world. Lord of Truth, let us always be open and receptive to Your voice. ************************************************** ********* The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Isaiah 57:1 "Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths." Psalms 25:4 Physical birth only gains us physical life. Spiritual life, the eternal life Christ promises to those who come to Him, is only gained through spiritual birth. John 3:36 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Know that you make a difference, so choose to make your contribution one of goodness. Lord, help me to touch my world in a positive manner. Each day has a new door. It is up to you to open it. Lord, help me to remember that my life is my choice. Bless me with wisdom and give me guidance as I make my choices. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Relapse "There will be times, however, when we really feel like using. We want to run, and we feel lousy We need to be reminded of where we came from and that it will be worse this time. This is when we need the program the most." Basic Text, p. 78 If we're contemplating a relapse, we should think our using through to the bitter ends. For many of us, those ends would include severe medical problems, imprisonment, or even death. How many of us have known people who relapsed after many years clean, only to die from their disease? But there is a death that accompanies a return to active addiction that may be worse than physical death. That is the spiritual death we experience when we are separated from our Higher Power. If we use, the spiritual relationship we have nurtured over the years will weaken and perhaps disappear. We will feel truly alone. There is no doubt that we have periods of darkness in our recovery. There is only one way we can make it through those troubling times: with faith. If we believe that our Higher Power is with us, then we know that all will be well. No matter how badly we may feel in our recovery, a relapse is never the answer. Together, we find recovery. If we stay clean, the darkness will lift and we will find a deeper connection to our Higher Power. Just for today: I thank my Higher Power for the gift of NA. I know that relapse is not the way out. Whatever challenges I face, I will face them with the God of my understanding. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly. --Thomas Jefferson Some of the necessary things we do are tiring and annoying. Many of these things we must do regardless of how we feel about them. Doing dishes day after day can be a tiresome job but, no matter how much we hate it, it must be done sooner or later. We might discover, if we look hard enough, how chores like this can actually be enjoyable, if we do them right. Perhaps dish washing is a time for listening to music and singing along, or an opportunity for conversation between family members as we help one another. Our willingness to look for the hidden treasure and opportunities in tasks we might otherwise consider dreary will never fail to reward us. What opportunity can I see in my next chore? You are reading from the book Touchstones. "Why are you rushing so much?" asked the rabbi. "I'm rushing after my livelihood," the man answered. "And how do you know," said the rabbi, "that your livelihood is running on before you, so that you have to rush after it? Perhaps it's behind you, and all you need to do is stand still." --Tale about Rabbi Ben Meir of Berdichev Most of us accept the standard ideas we were taught. "Men should be good providers." "We will get self-esteem from hard work." "It is a virtue to be productive." "It's better now to have too much time to think." A major crisis can quickly change our perspective. Perhaps someone close to us dies, and we are faced with how temporary life is. Or we have a health crisis, or a relationship crisis, or an addiction crisis. The standard ideas come crashing down. We look closely at the rush of our lives and ask deeper questions: Are we hurrying to a worthwhile goal? Or are we losing out in our great rush? These doubts can teach us personal things that society can never teach us. Wisdom comes out of pain and the willingness to learn from it. Today, I will allow some time to stand still and reflect. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Accepting Ourselves While driving one day, a woman's attention focused on the license plate of the car ahead. The license read: "B-WHO-UR." How can I? she thought. I don't know who I am! Some of us may have felt confused when people encouraged us to be ourselves. How could we know ourselves, or be who we are, when, for years, many of us submerged ourselves in the need of others? We do have a self. We're discovering more about ourselves daily. We're learning we're deserving of love. We're learning to accept ourselves, as we are for the present moment--to accept our feelings, thoughts, flaws, wants, needs, and desires. If our thoughts or feelings are confused, we accept that too. To be who we are means we accept our past--our history--exactly as is. To be ourselves means we are entitled to our opinions and beliefs--for the present moment and subject to change. We accept our limitations and our strengths. To be who we are means we accept our physical selves, as well as our mental, emotional, and spiritual selves, for now. Being who we are in recovery means we take that acceptance one step further. We can appreciate ourselves and our history. Being who we are, loving and accepting ourselves, is not a limiting attitude. Accepting and loving ourselves is how we enable growth and change. Today, I will be who I am. If I'm not yet certain who I am, I will affirm that I have a right to that exciting discovery, Today I am open to all the powers of the universe. I am letting them work for me and carry me to my next step...JOY! --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Treasure Your Experiences Gather experiences. Treat them as precious jewels. The purpose of the journey is not to guard and restrain yourself. The purpose is to learn. You do not teach and lead your soul. Your soul leads and teaches you. It takes you wading across streams, strolling through meadows, deep into valleys, and high onto mountaintops. It takes you down winding, narrow roads and long fast-moving four-lane highways. It takes you into tiny cafes, bustling cities, and out-of-the-way hostels where people break bread and tell what they have learned. Let yourself have all your experiences. Don’t limit or judge yourself or the adventure you have had. All were necessary, all were important, all have helped shape and form you. Your heart will lead you, guide you where you are to go. Don’t worry about getting lost or off track. Don’t worry about being wrong, or in the wrong place at the wrong time. Gather experiences. Go through them. Select the gems from each. Listen while others tell their stories, their adventures, and show you their jewels, the triths that they have learned. Then, when your friends break and sip soup with others, open your heart and joyfully share what has happened to you along the way. Having experiences is called living. Sharing experiences is called loving. Let yourself enjoy both. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t take storms personally Somewhere out in the Pacific, a storm brewed and swirled and thrashed and died without ever touching the land. Three days later, under a clear blue sky, the storm surge reached the California coast near Los Angeles. The sea threw rocks at my house, and the waves stacked up and crashed down against the pilings of the foundation. Farther up the street, the ocean ate the back porch of two houses. All night the shoreline trembled and shook from the power of the sea. The next morning the tide pulled back, the swells calmed, and the sky stayed blue. I walked down the beach, impressed at the way the ocean had littered it with huge chunks of driftwood and rocks. Then I walked back upstairs and drank my morning coffee. Sometimes, storms aren’t about us. Sometimes, friends or loved ones will attack us for no apparent reason. They’ll fuss, fume, and snap at us. When we ask them why, they’ll say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I had a bad day at work.” But we still feel hurt and upset. Hold people accountable for their behavior. Don’t let people treat you badly. But don’t take the storms in their lives personally. These storms may have nothing to do with you. Seek shelter if necessary. Get away from curt friends until they have time to calm down; then approach when it’s safe. If the storm isn’t about you, there’s nothing you need to do. Would you stop the ocean waves by standing in the surf with your arms outstetched? Say whatever. Let the storms blow through. God, help me not to take the storms in the lives of my friends and loved ones too personally. ****************************************** Quiet Please! Taming Monkey Mind In Meditation It’s been called the monkey mind – the endless chattering in your head as you jump in your mind from thought to thought while you daydream, analyze your relationships, or worry over the future. Eventually, you start to feel like your thoughts are spinning in circles and you’re left totally confused. One way to tame this wild creature in your head is through meditation – although the paradox is that when you clear your mind for meditation you actually invite the monkey in your mind to play. This is when you are given the opportunity to tame this mental beast by moving beyond thought – to become aware of a thought rather than thinking a thought. The difference is subtle, but significant. When you are aware of your thoughts, you can let your thoughts rise and float away without letting them pull you in different directions. Being able to concentrate is one of the tools that allows you to slow down your thought process and focus on observing your thoughts. To develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on the breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath. Fire can also be mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the color, shape, and movement of the flame, and try not to blink. Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head. Chanting, devotional singing, and mantras also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I’ve begun to better understand myself since I’ve come to The Program. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that opinions aren’t facts. Just because I feel that a thing is so doesn’t necessarily make it so. “Men are not worried by things,” wrote the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “but by their ideas about things. When we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves. That is: our ideas about things.” Do I believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned during my recovery? Today I Pray May I learn to sort out realities from my ideas about those realities. May I understand that situations, things, — even people — take on the colors and dimensions of my attitudes about them. Today I Will Remember To sort the real from the unreal. ****************************************** One More Day People, by and large, will relate to the image you project …. If you project the image of a sick, dependent person, that’s how you’ll be treated. – Chyatte Accepting chronic illness is not easy. Our whole lives are different. We can’t do all the things we used to do. We may feel changed and be afraid of the changes our illnesses will bring. But as we learn to project a strong, positive image, we feel better about ourselves. For the benefit of ourselves, we must act as if we are doing all right. When we act as if we are strong, our new behavior can become a new habit, and that habit can actually develop greater emotional strength within us. We can put illness into perspective as being just one of the changes that occur during a lifetime. Today, I will allow myself the right to change. I can survive my health change and live a worthwhile life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time A Disease? "Doc! What do you mean - nothing! What? An incurable disease? Doc, you're kidding me! You're trying to scare me into stopping! What's that you say? You wish you were? Why are there tears in your eyes, Doc?" The Big Book, The Unbeliever, Page 196 For a very long time I scoffed at those who said my overweight was because I had a disease. Yes, my body had doubled in size ... but it was because I ate more calories than my body burned. My doctor said so ... he didn't say I had a disease. His "treatment" was to tell me to go on a diet and join a gym. The diet lasted for a few months and I believe I used the gym about six or seven times. I know now without a single doubt that I have a disease ... a serious one. I know that it is incurable and that I will have to live with this disease for the rest of my life. Dieting made me fat. Somewhere along the way I didn't "get it." One day at a time... I will resist thinking that being a compulsive eater is not a disease. I will aggressively and tenaciously do the footwork necessarily to combat it. A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking -- 'What do I have to do?' It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done. - Pg. 20 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We have been known to think that dishonesty with others was OK as long as it didn't 'hurt' them. We really don't know what will hurt another or not. Being dishonest with other people deprives them of the information they need to run their own lives. Honesty is honesty. Let me understand that 'little' dishonesties are a disservice to others as well as myself. Accepting Caring from Others I will soak up any extra attention that I get while I'm not feeling up to par. Even if I don't need it at the moment, I will soak it into my pores and store it up for a time when I do need it. I will let the attention feel good. I will allow it to restore my faith in and affection for people. I enjoy the little things people are willing to do for me, going a bit out of their way, worrying about how I'm doing. It feels good if I let it. It restores me if I willing to feel good. Feeling grateful for what is coming my way has a healing power all its own. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote All of us chemical dependents have come from the same place, no where. We all enter the world of recovery by changing our place to now here. No Where to Now Here. It works. NOW is the working unit of my life. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You used to be good at being bad. Now you're going to get good a being good. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will stop and ask, 'How important is it?' When I find myself defending or trying to prove my point, I am in the process of learning to trust my own truth. When it feels right inside, I am seeing that it is all I need. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Alcoholics Anonymous has the best record for recovery from alcoholism in the world. Why not avail yourself of the best. - Bede. |
March 4
Daily Reflections WEEDING THE GARDEN The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 115 By the time I had reached Step Three I had been freed of my dependence on alcohol, but bitter experience has shown me that continuous sobriety requires continuous effort. Every now and then I pause to take a good look at my progress. More and more of my garden is weeded each time I look, but each time I also find new weeds sprouting where I thought I had made my final pass with the blade. As I head back to get the newly sprouted weed (it's easier when they are young), I take a moment to admire how lush the growing vegetables and flowers are, and my labors are rewarded. My sobriety grows and bears fruit. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Having surrendered our lives to God and put our drink problem in His Hands doesn't mean that we'll never be tempted to drink. So we must build up strength for the time when temptation will come. In this quiet time, we read and pray and get our minds in the right mood for the day. Starting the day right is a great help in keeping sober. As the days go by and we get used to the sober life, it gets easier and easier. We begin to develop a deep gratitude to God for saving us from that old life. And we begin to enjoy peace and serenity and real quiet happiness. Am I trying to live the way God wants me to live? Meditation For The Day The elimination of selfishness is the key to happiness and can only be accomplished with God's help. We start out with a spark of the Divine Spirit but a large amount of selfishness. As we grow and come in contact with other people, we can take one of two paths. We can become more and more selfish and practically extinguish the Divine Spark within us or we can become more unselfish and develop our spirituality until it becomes the most important thing in our lives. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may grow more and more unselfish, honest, pure and loving. I pray that I may take the right path every day. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Free Of Dependence, p. 63 I asked myself, "Why can't the Twelve Steps work to release me from this unbearable depression?" By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer: "It is better to comfort than to be comforted." Suddenly I realized what the answer might be. My basic flaw had always been dependence on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and confidence. Failing to get these things according to my perfectionists dreams and specifications, I fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my depression. Reinforced by what grace I could find in prayer, I had to exert every ounce of will and action to cut off these faulty emotional dependencies upon people and upon circumstances. Then only could I be free to love as Francis had loved. Grapevine, January 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Don't feed the Habit _____ Enhancing Sobriety We quickly learn that it's wrong to do anything that "feeds" a drinking habit. A recovering person would be foolish, for example, to spend time in a drinking environment simply to "be with friends." It's constructive to take that same approach toward other problems we'd like to get out of our lives. If gossip has been my problem, I should not feed it by listening to gossip or even by reading gossipy articles and books. IF I have accumulated debts through overspending, I should cut off window shopping and other practices that may bring on more unnecessary debt. And if I want to rid my life of self-pity, I should not spend a single moment brooding over the bad breaks I have had in the past. Bad habits have a life of their own. They are somewhat like rodents that have found their way into the house and have become star borders. One way to control rodents is to eliminate their food supply. That same principle applies to bad habits we want to eliminate from our own lives. I'll make a strong effort to cut off any line of thinking that feeds my bad habits, whatever they are. This might include avoiding practices that others see as harmless and trivial. However, nothing is harmless or trivial if it has become destructive in my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Better bend than break.-------Scottish proverb Our program is based on bending. We call it "surrender." We surrender our self-will to the care of God. We do what we believe our Higher Power want us to do. We learn this as an act of love. Many of us believed surrender was a sign of weakness. We tried to control everything. But we change as we're in the program longer and longer. We learn to bend. We start to see that what is important is learning. We learn to do what's best for us and others. To learn, we need an open mind. To bend, we must stay open. Love and care become the center of our lives. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me that strength comes from knowing how and when to bend. Action for the Day: Today, I'll check myself. How open am I? Do I bend when I need to? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end. --Ursula K. LeGuin Goals give direction to our lives. We need to know who we are and where we want to go. But the trip itself, the steps we travel, offer us daily satisfaction moment by moment--fulfillment, if we'd but realize it. Too often we keep our sights on the goal's completion, rather than the process--the day-to-day living that makes the completion possible. How often do we think, "When I finish college, I'll feel stronger." Or, "After the divorce is final, I can get back to work." Or even, "When I land that promotion, my troubles are over." Life will begin "when"--or so it seems in our minds. And when this attitude controls our thinking, we pass up our opportunity to live, altogether. Looking back on goals already completed in our lives, what so quickly follows the end of a job well done is a let-down. And how sad that the hours, the days, the weeks, maybe even the months we toiled are gone, with little sense of all they could have meant. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - First Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me. They grinned, which I didn’t like so much, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time. I had to concede both propositions. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was hopeless condition. They cited cases out of their own experience by the dozen. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself. p. 42 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. All of this changed when I went to college. I had to adapt to new associations and associates, and it seemed to be the smart thing to drink and smoke. I confined drinking to weekends, and drank normally in college and for several years thereafter. p. 258 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Eight - "Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers." It is significant, now that almost no A.A. in our Fellowship breaks anonymity at the public level, that nearly all these fears have subsided. We see that we have no right or need to discourage A.A.'s who wish to work as individuals in these wider fields. It would be actually antisocial were we to forbid them. We cannot declare A.A. such a closed corporation that we keep our knowledge and experience top secret. If an A.A. member acting as a citizen can become a better researcher, educator, personnel officer, then why not? Everybody gains, and we have lost nothing. True, some of the projects to which A.A.'s have attached themselves have been ill-conceived, but that makes not the slightest difference with the principle involved. p. 171 ************************************************** ********* God, help me find and create true joy and peace in my world. --Melody Beattie I have been given a quiet place in bright sunshine. It doesn't matter what we have done in the past. --Melody Beattie Learning and maturation in the life of the spirit cannot be hurried, and as in physical and intellectual development, a great deal depends on our readiness. --Mary McDermott Shideler God's will never takes me where his grace will not sustain me. --Ruth Humlecker Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to everlasting love. Antidote for stress: Take a deep breath and think of something that pleases you. An argument had with a spouse is a loving moment lost forever. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation HELL "The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those, who in time of great moral crises, maintain their neutrality." -- Dante Alighieri Each human being makes a personal hell here on earth. Often we do it not by what we perpetrate but in what we allow to happen. So much of the loneliness and isolation that many addicts and their families experience is caused by them remaining hidden and silent. The pretense that everything is okay is not only untrue but deadly. Silence and compliance kills more addicts than a thousand needles! Today I choose not to be neutral in my life. I speak about my alcoholism so that I can on a daily basis make war on the disease that nearly killed me. I speak out about the disease of addiction so that society cannot say that it did not know what was happening. I speak up for treatment and recovery because I know it can work in the vast majority of cases. I am not neutral when it comes to addiction because I am fighting for my life. God, give me the courage to speak up in the crowd; let me live the message I was privileged to receive. ************************************************** ********* "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 God is not unjust, he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped people and continue to help them. Hebrews 6:10 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Life isn't always fair, but don't let that stop you from making the world a better place every chance you get. Lord, help me to serve You where I am right now. The first and most powerful commandment is love. Through love we unite ourselves together with God and with each other and bring ourselves closer to our desired goal. Lord, I love You with all my heart and soul and mind. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Process "This program has become a part of me.... I understand more clearly the things that are happening in my life today I no longer fight the process." Basic Text, p. 78 In active addiction, things happened seemingly without rhyme or reason. We just "did things"; often without knowing why or what the results would be. Life had little value or meaning. The Twelve Step process gives meaning to our lives; in working the steps, we come to accept both the dark and the bright sides of ourselves. We strip away the denial that kept us from comprehending addiction's affect on us. We honestly examine ourselves, picking out the patterns in our thoughts, our feelings, and our behavior We gain humility and perspective by fully disclosing ourselves to another human being. In seeking to have our shortcomings removed, we develop a working appreciation of our own powerlessness and the strength provided by a Power greater than we are. With our enhanced understanding of ourselves, we gain greater insight into and acceptance of others. The Twelve Steps are the key to a process we call "life": In working the steps, they become a part of us—and we become a part of the life around us. Our world is no longer meaningless; we understand more about what happens in our lives today. We no longer fight the process. Today, in working the steps, we live it. Just for today: Life is a process; the Twelve Steps are the key. Today, I will use the steps to participate in that process, understanding and enjoying myself and my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume, you shall assume. --Walt Whitman Some of us may think Walt Whitman must have been terribly conceited to have written words like that. But he wasn't. He knew himself well, and accepted himself, even his darker side. He could laugh at himself and celebrate his humanness. And because he loved and accepted himself just as he was, others could do the same. That's difficult to understand sometimes, but it's true: no one else is going to love and accept us until we come to love and accept ourselves. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves, so perhaps it makes sense to apply a variation of the Golden Rule: "Do unto ourselves as we would have others do unto us." Can I allow my kindness to myself overflow to another person today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Heaven ne'er helps the men who will not act. --Sophocles Growing into masculine wholeness is a journey into greater responsibility for our lives. We have choices to make every day. Taking responsibility means choosing between the options we have and then accepting the consequences. Sometimes both choices are undesirable, but we have to choose anyway. Do I expect to be perfect in my choices? Do I demand that someone else take responsibility for me? Do I defiantly refuse to accept the options I have? This program seems like a paradox- the First Step asks us to accept our powerlessness, then we are expected to go on and stop being passive in our lives. The Serenity Prayer speaks to us about this dilemma. We ask for the serenity to accept what we cannot change and the courage to change what we can. Fully admitting our powerlessness sheds a burden and frees us to go on from there, actively doing what we can. If something is awaiting my action today, may I have the courage to move forward with it. Even small movement is progress. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Higher Power as a Source I've learned I can take care of myself, and what I cant do, God will do for me. --Al Anon member God, a Higher Power as we understand Him, is our source of guidance and positive change. This doesn't mean were not responsible for ourselves. We are. But we aren't in this alone. Recovery is not a do it yourself project. We don't have to become overly concerned about changing ourselves. We can do our part, relax, and trust that the changes well experience will be right for us. Recovery means we don't have to look to other people as our source to meet our needs. They can help us, but they are not the source. As we learn to trust the recovery process, we start to understand that a relationship with our Higher Power is no substitute for relationships with people. We don't need to hide behind religious beliefs or use our relationship with a Higher Power as an excuse to stop taking responsibility for ourselves and taking care of ourselves in relationships. But we can tap into and trust a Power greater than ourselves for the energy, wisdom, and guidance to do that. Today, I will look to my Higher Power as a source for all my needs, including the changes I want to make in my recovery. I will not forget that every moment of every day I can be God-centered and joyous. The goal I'm striving toward will carry with it a special gift; it will offer the growing person within me an extra thrill, if I've attended to the journey as much as its end. Today I will stop and ask, "How important is it?" When I find myself defending or trying to prove my point, I am in the process of learning to trust my own truth. When it feels right inside, I am seeing that is all that I need. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart One Step at a Time One step at a time. That’s all you can take, That’s all you have to take, Yes, you have visions you’ve created of where you want to go. But you don’t get there in one leap. You get there one step at a time. That’s how you receive your guidance. That’s how you respond to the guidance you’ve received. Let your faith be strong. Your faith will keep you going through those moments in between steps. When your faith is strong, you don’t look in fear at the journey ahead, wondering if you will get all the guidance you need, or if you will get to where you’re going. You know you will, so take the simple steps, one at a time, that lie ahead. You take them in joy, because you know you’re being guided. You have faith that the simple steps you are led to do will take you to your destination. One step at a time. That’s how you will get where you are going. You are being led, each step of the way. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Allow for differences He’s rational. He wants examples of the problem and wants to focus on and find a solution. She wants to talk about how she feels. He wants to sit in front of the television and click the remote control. She wants to cuddle on the couch and look into his eyes. He deals with his stress by playing basketball with his friends, tinkering with the car or going for a hike. She wants to go to a movie, preferably one that makes her cry. I spent much of my life thinking that men and women– and generally all people– should just be the same. It took me a long time to realize that while we have much in common with other people, we’re each unique. It took me even longer to realize that the practical application of this meant I had to learn to allow for differences between the people I loved and myself. Just because we have something in common with someone, and might even think we’re in love, doesn’t mean that each person is going to respond and be the same. So often in our relationships, we try to get the other person to behave the way we want. This forcing of our will on them will ultimately become a great strain. It can also block love. When we’re trying to change someone else, we overlook his or her gifts. We don’t value the parts of the person that are different from us, because we’re too busy trying to change the person into someone else. Allow for differences, but don’t just allow. Appreciate the differences. Value what each person has to offer and the gifts each person can bring. Learn to say whatever, with a spark of amusement and curiosity, when someone isn’t the same as you. Try getting a kick out of the unique way each person approaches life. God, help me understand the rich gifts that letting go of control will bring to my life. ****************************************** The Energy of an Embrace Hugs The need to touch and be touched is established early in our lives, as we develop and grow in the omnipresent embrace of our mother’s womb. Once we are born, separated from that sanctuary of connectivity, we begin to crave the physical embrace of our parents. As we age, we become more independent. Yet during times of triumph or trouble and during those moments when we are in need of reassurance, we can’t help but long for a hug. Because a hug requires two active participants, each individual taking part in the embrace experiences the pleasure of being embraced and the joy that comes from hugging someone. As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken. A heart hug is when you put your left arm over someone’s shoulder and your right arm around their waist. As they do the same to you, your hearts become aligned with one another other and loving, comforting energy flows between the two of you to flood your souls with feelings of love, caring, and compassion. A hug is a pleasurable way to share your feelings with someone who is important to you. Depending on your relationship with the other person and the kind of message you wish to send to them, a hug can communicate love, friendship, romance, congratulations, support, greeting, and any other sentiment you wish to convey. A hug communicates to others that you are there for them in a positive way. In an instant, a hug can reestablish a bond between long lost friends and comfort those in pain. The next time you hug someone, focus all of your energy into the embrace. You will create a profound connection that infuses your feelings and sentiments into a single beautiful gesture. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We may not know any specifics about the activities of today; we may not know whether we’ll be alone or with others. We may feel the day contains too much time — or not enough. We may be facing tasks we’re eager to complete, or tasks we’ve been resisting. Though the details of each person’s day differ, each person’s day does hold one similarity: We each have the opportunity to choose to thing positive thoughts. The choice depends less on our outside activities than on our inner commitment. Can I accept that I alone have the power to control my attitude? Today I Pray May I keep the fire of inner commitment alive through this whole, glorious day, whether my activities are a succession of workaday tasks or free-form and creative. May I choose to make this a good day for me, and for those around me. Today I Will Remember Keep the commitment. ****************************************** One More Day Whatever limits us, we call fate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson We like to plan ahead, but w cannot plan for the ravages of chronic illness. No one expects to travel down the winding road of an unhidden, unwanted trip. Unused to the whims of a chronic illness, we may at first try to chart, plan, and control its course. We may dwell too much on the medical conditions. We cannot change the course of illness, but we can influence its twists and turns by keeping a positive frame of mind. Rather than being obsessed with how our medical conditions are affecting us, we can focus on the many things we can still do. Can we enjoy a sunset? Watch a child smile? Can we listen to music or pursue a handcraft? Our angry, dour thoughts can be replaced so easily with pleasant dreams, fond memories, and hope for the future. I am feeling comfortable once again as I finally realize that I can still make choices in how I want to live my life. ***************************************** One Day At A Time March "March is the month of expectation, the things we do not know, The 'Persons of Prognostication' are coming now." ~ Emily Dickinson I'm not sure whether it's because I'm embroiled at the moment in working the Steps I love so much ... or whether the beginnings of Springtime are beginning to happen ... but there is a feeling that I have that "something" is beginning. The long winters of life have taken their toll on me and when I experience this awesome feeling of hope I am grateful. If there were doubts of the promises coming true, March overshadows them. If the Spring and Summer times of program loomed large in the distance, they are no longer. Just the smell of a new Spring morning is enough to know that hope for spiritual, emotional and physical wellness abounds. One day at a time ... I must forget the winters of my life and hold on to the promises of March ... and of my Twelve Step program. ~ A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. - Pg. 100-101 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Are we remembering the so-called 'good times' right now? How nice a 'high' would be? We use this hour to REALLY think about what got us to this fight for sobriety. It wasn't because we were having a lot of fun! Thank you, God, for the beautiful day I'm going to have if I can just get rid of my attitude. Recall a Pleasant Moment: Soothe the Heart and You Soothe the Self You can calm and nourish your heart by regularly meditating or praying. These activities produce the 'relaxation response' - a physiological state that is exactly the opposite of stress - a state that reduces blood pressure and increases blood flow to the heart. Many forms of meditation and prayer organically incorporate feelings of love, appreciation and forgiveness. Some traditional Buddhist practice use 'loving-kindness meditation,' during which they focus their attention on the heart and generate feelings of loving kindness for others and themselves. Not only does this create the feelings in your mind, but it creates them in the body as well. A form of such 'intentional heart focus' has been found by the HeartMath researchers to create greater coherence in the heart in as little as one minute. To experience the benefits of this 'intentional heart focus,' try the following next time you're feeling stressed: Take a break and mentally disengage from the situation. Bring your attention to the area of your heart. Recall an experience with a loved one in which you felt happiness, love or appreciation or just meditate for a moment on those kinds of thoughts and feelings. Re-experience these feelings while keeping your attention on your heart. Let your breathing be relaxed and regular. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote There are no victims, only volun-teers. When we cry, 'They did this to me. They did that to me.' what we are really saying, is I placed myself in a position for this or that to happen. I volunteered for it. I volunteer for sobriety today. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book What if there is no God? Believe anyway. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Where I am at this moment is perfect. My past is my friend today as I take the lessons that I can learn from it and say thank you. Everything that has brought me to this moment is a gift and I am a stronger and wiser person because of it. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote We're all here because we're not all there.- Fr Joe M. |
March 5
Daily Reflections A LIFELONG TASK "But just how, in these circumstances, does a fellow 'take it easy?' That's what I want to know." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26 I was never known for my patience. How many times have I asked, "Why should I wait, when I can have it all right now?" Indeed, when I was first presented the Twelve Steps, I was like the proverbial "kid in a candy store." I couldn't wait to get to Step Twelve; it was surely just a few months' work, or so I thought! I realize now that living the Twelve Steps of A.A. is a lifelong undertaking. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Sometimes we try too hard to get this program. It is better to relax and accept it. It will be given to us, with no effort on our part, if we stop trying too hard to get it. Sobriety can be a free gift of God, which he gives us by His grace when He knows we are ready for it. But we have to be ready. Then we must relax, take it easy, and accept the gift with gratitude and humility. We must put ourselves in God's hands. We must say to God: "Here I am and here are all my troubles. I've made a mess of things and can't do anything about it. You take me and all my troubles and do anything you want with me." Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself? Meditation For The Day Fear is the curse of the world. Many are our fears. Fear is everywhere. I must fight fear as I would a plague. I must turn it out of my life. There is no room for fear in the heart in which God dwells. Fear cannot exist where true love is or where faith abides. So I must have no fear. Fear is evil, but "perfect love casteth out all fear." Fear destroys hope and hope is necessary for all of humanity. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have no fear. I pray that I may cast all fear out of my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Search For Motives, p. 64 Some of us clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn't suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn't suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations didn't suffer, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man's fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies. This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can be changed only by a deep and honest search of our motives and actions. 12 & 12, p. 79 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places A vision for you___A Positive attitude One of the methods that helps in recovery is to see yourself as a sober person living a clean life. This is the "vision for you" that society's founders offered in AA's early days, and it's still powerful today. While being careful to avoid self-will, we can use this method with great success in living each day. Along with seeing ourselves sober, we can see ourselves living and working according to the best principles we know. We can see a business relationship improving. We can see some long-standing problems being solved. We can see a brighter side to negative situations that have persisted in spite of our best efforts to change them. One author also talked about "seeing God on both sides of the table in any business negotiation." We desire success, of course, but it's also important to know that any negotiation ought to be successful for both parties. If we're really practicing spiritual principles in all our affairs, there should be no desire to outmaneuver another person in any negotiation. There is always a price that is fair and satisfactory for both parties, and there are always terms suitable for both sides. I will go through this day visualizing it as I think it should be according to the highest and best principles I know. I will put aside self-will and see everybody benefiting fro any negotiations in which I am involved. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.---William Allen White Big changes are happening to us, but we can trust that changes will bring good things. After all, what have we got to lose? We have lived through the days and years of our addiction. Now, with the help of our Higher Power, the pain of those days has ended. We have no reason to worry. Yet, recovery won't make our lives perfect. Hard things still happened. But we never have to lose hope again. We never have to feel alone with our problems. What will come next? We don't know the details, but we can be sure the future will be good if we stay on our path of recovery. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I know life holds many new things for me. Help me and protect me as I live in Your care today. Action for the Day: Today, I'll trust that each day of my life will bring me good. I will share this idea with one friend. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Loving, like prayer, is a power as well as a process. It's curative. It is creative. --Zona Gale The expression of love softens us and the ones we love. It opens a channel between us. It invites an intimate response that closes the distance. It feels good to express love, whether through a smile, a touch, or a prayer. It heightens our sense of being alive. Acknowledging another's presence means that we, too, are acknowledged. Each of us is familiar with feeling forgotten, unnoticed, or taken for granted, and recognition assures us all that we haven't been overlooked. Knowing we are loved may be the key to our doing the things we fear. Love supports us to charge ahead, and we can support others to charge ahead. We know that if we fail, we have someone to turn to. Love heals. It strengthens, making us courageous both when we receive it and when we give it. Knowing we are loved makes our existence special. It affirms that we count in another's life. We need to honor our friends by assuring them of their specialness, too. I need others. I need to strengthen my supports, my connections to others for the security, even success, of each of us. I can express my love today, and assure my loved ones that they are needed. Then, they and I will surge ahead with new life. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be. p. 42 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. After I left school, I went to work in Akron, living at home with my parents. Home life was again a restraining influence. When I drank, I hid it from my folks out of respect for their feelings. This continued until was twenty-seven. Then I started traveling, with the the United States and Canada as my territory and with so much freedom and with an unlimited expense account, I was soon drinking every night and kidding myself that it was all part of the job. I know now that 60 percent of the time I drank alone without benefit of customers. p. 258 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Eight - "Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers." This is the exciting welter of events which has finally cast up A.A.'s Tradition of nonprofessionalism. Our Twelfth Step is never to be paid for, but those who labor in service for us are worthy of their hire. p. 171 ************************************************** ********* Today I will ignore "what might have been," and concentrate on "what is..." "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." -Jonathan Larson It is never too late to be what you might have been. --George Eliot God, help me welcome all the new experiences in my life. Give me the courage to calmly walk my path today, knowing I'm right where I need to be. --Melody Beattie When hate, anger, fear, attack, victimization is thrown at us, we find solace in returning to Spiritual sanity. These emotions only harm us if we embrace them, rather than embrace Gods love. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. --Eleanor Roosevelt The past and the future are great places to visit, but you don't want to live there. --Tom Payne ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DENTITY "Without freedom, no one really has a name." -- Milton Acorda Part of my identity involves my disease. I am an alcoholic and my name is . . . And with this recognition of who I am comes the liberty and freedom to live and create in God's world. Who I am involves what I am; in the fusion of the two is my spiritual identity. For years I ran from myself because I wanted to be different. I felt that I would not be acceptable or good enough for you. In running from me, I lost my identity; the seed of low self-esteem was sown. With the spiritual recognition that I can only be who I am came the freedom of existence and identity. I am what I am! Lord, You said once, "I am who I am." Well, so am I! ************************************************** ********* Turn your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding. Proverbs 2 : 2 "But surely, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life." Psalm 54:4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Shine and give praise and it will encourage others to do the same. Lord, may my actions show those in my life that I appreciate and love them. When we give in to fears and worries they will take charge of our lives. Lord, I place my trust in You so that I may experience every opportunity and not miss in life that which is meant for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today From Rude Awakening To Spiritual Awakening "When a need arises for us to admit our powerlessness, we may first look for ways to exert power against it. After exhausting these ways, we begin sharing with others and find hope." Basic Text, p. 79 We've sometimes heard it said in our meetings that "rude awakenings lead to spiritual awakenings." What kind of rude awakenings do we have in recovery? Such an awakening might occur when some undesirable bit of our behavior that we thought safely hidden away is suddenly revealed for all the world to see. Or our sponsor might provoke such an awakening by informing us that, just like everyone else, we have to work the steps if we expect to stay clean and recover. Most of us hate to have our covers pulled; we don't like being laid naked in full view. The experience delivers a strong dose of humility. Our first reaction to such a disclosure is usually shock and anger, yet we recognize the truth when we hear it. What we are having is a rude awakening. Such awakenings often disclose barriers that block us from making spiritual progress in our recovery. Once those barriers are exposed, we can work the steps to begin removing them from our lives. We can begin experiencing the healing and serenity which are the preludes to a renewed awakening of the spirit. Just for today: I will recognize the rude awakenings I have as opportunities to grow toward spiritual awakening. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The farmer may only be planting a seed, but if he opens his eyes he is feeding the whole world. --Omaha Bee A traveler journeying through a small village came upon some workers building an impressive structure. "What are you doing?" he asked. The first worker, a young, impatient man, replied in disgust, "I am making three dollars an hour and I'm getting very tired!" The visitor asked another man the same question. "I'm mixing concrete, as you can plainly see," came the sarcastic reply. Finally, a woman working nearby left her wheelbarrow full of bricks and approached the stranger. "We are building a hospital," she said with pride. "Now we will be able to care for all the region's people. Babies will be born here. Lives will be saved." The stranger looked at the woman with admiration and spoke directly to her. "I know, for this is my hospital. Only you hold the vision of what it is you are creating." The wealthy benefactor then put the woman in charge of construction so his hospital would be built by one who truly understood. Will I see the importance of even the small things I do today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. If not for the beast within us we would be castrated angels. --Hermann Hesse Let's not confuse the surrender, humility, and serenity of this program with the perfection of angels. Today we are more alive because we are no longer destroying ourselves, or numbing ourselves, or shaming ourselves. We are men with the strength we need to meet the problems and excitements of the day. We may also get ourselves into trouble by our shortsightedness or mistaken ideas. That is why we need to continue to take inventory of ourselves and continue to be accountable. We are on a spiritual path that leads toward fuller manhood. We accept the beast within. More than that, we like him and take pleasure in him. He has the same source as our spiritual strength. As we get better acquainted with him, he brings a sense of awe and mystery about the untamed parts of ourselves. He instills us with zest and vitality that we release as explosions of energy and power. He is in the music we love and in our dancing. He comes out in our daydreams and night dreams - in our labor and sweat. And he is in our trickery and humor. I am filled with gratitude for the beast within. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Be Who You Are When I meet people or get in a new relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on myself. I cant have my feelings. Cant have my wants and needs. Cant have my history. Cant do the things I want, feel the feelings Im feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed, perfectionistic robot, instead of being who I am: Me. --Anonymous Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself. Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else. The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are. We may think others wont like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think. But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. Were fun to be around. If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us? Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and its enough. Its fine. Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need. Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself. Today I will accept what I have and what I am and what I see in this moment. I will be fully alive in this moment and feel the joy of knowing that it is all that there is right now. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Operate from Desire, Not Will There are times when we need to force ourselves to put one foot in front of the other and do what needs to be done. But when we operate that way for too long, we can be separated from our heart, separated from our desres, instincts, and healthy inclinations. Separated from that part of us that lives and loves naturally. Separated from joy. After years of grieving the loss of my son, I needed to come back to life. To do that, I had to force myself through the motions of living, those acts that I knew would create a good life for myself and my daughter. I was operating from sheer will, and that will was struggling hard to overcome the desire to give up. After a time of doing that though, I noticed that forcing myself forward had come habitual. Somewhere along the journey, I had forgotten about relaxing, trusting my heart, trusting my desires to carry me through. I became tired. Tired of forcing myself. Tired of pushing through. I realized something else. It was safe to let go of willing my way through life. I had climbed the mountain. I was over the top. I was coming alive again. I had survived the toughest time. It was okay to relax and trust the guidance and desires of my heart. It was safe to relax and enjoy life again, to celebrate being alive. If you’ve been operating from will, that was probably what you needed to do at that point in your life. It helped you survive, learn the lessons, get to the place you are now. But it no longer fits, not on a journey of joy. Not on the journey to the heart. Let desire and inclination replace will. Let your heart and soul lead you forward. Then trust that they will, and trust where they lead. Let living from your heart’s desires reconnect you to joy. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t let anger run your life Cheryl’s husband was a tyrant. His anger controlled most of her moves. He didn’t get angry often, but when he did, he exploded in a rage. He broke things; he carried on. His rage terrified her. “I’ve never done well with anger,” Cheryl said, “either my own, or someone else’s. I spent my childhood walking on eggshells, trying not to annoy my dad. Then I married a man whom I allowed to completely control me by the mere threat of his rage.” Whether we call them rageholics, tyrants, or bullies, a lot of people in our world get their way by being mean. We may find ourselves instinctively walking on eggshells around these people, praying to God we don’t set them off. Anger is a powerful emotion. But we don’t have to let anybody else’s rage take control of our lives. If somebody you know or love is a bully or a tyrant, don’t take it on yourself. Stop walking on eggshells and letting their rage control your every step. Instead of taking on their problem, try something different. Give their problem with being a bully back to them. How do you deal with anger? Does somebody in your life use anger as a way of controlling you? It may be time to let go of your fear of setting off people. If you are in a dangerous situation, then by all means, get out. If you are just allowing yourself to be controlled by the fear of an emotional outburst, then learn to say whatever when someone spouts off. God, please don’t let anyone’s anger, including my own, be the master of my life. ****************************************** Positivity Revisited Keeping a Diary with Purpose by Madisyn Taylor A diary that is kept for a specific purpose can be a great way to focus on a specific issue that you want to work through. A diary can play many roles. It can be a confidant, a vehicle of self expression, a tool that facilitates clarity of thought, or a repository of dreams. A diary can also be a powerful source of comfort during challenging or traumatic periods. When you record those insights and incidents that clearly demonstrate you are on the right track, you can return to your words days, weeks, or months later and find uniquely soothing reassurance. A diary with a specific purpose can be a good tool for keeping track of experiences before the passage of time can skew your perception of events. It reflects the immediacy of your life and thus provides you with a landmark to return to when you begin to doubt yourself. If doubt does arise, simply open your diary to reaffirm your experiences. The confidence, surety, passion, and bravery you felt in a single moment is preserved, giving you a means to recapture those feelings in any place, at any time. Your diary serves as a repository of personalized encouragement. Since a diary is, by its very nature, as individual as you are, you should give some thought to the type of diary that will serve you best. A synchronicity-and-connections diary might describe those instances where seemingly random occurrences came together in a meaningful way, propelling you forward. Or you may find strength in the pages of a pride diary that makes note not only of those times you felt proud of yourself but also precisely why you were pleased with your efforts. And a cause-and-effect diary can help you become more decisive by reminding you of all the wise, life-affirming choices you have made. Your diary should be small enough to be readily portable and on hand whenever possible because the faster you put your thoughts down on paper, the more authentic your declarations are apt to be. Regardless of the type of focused diary you choose to keep, your recollections will create a positive feedback loop that helps you cope with doubt in a constructive way. Reading through your diary when life seems uncertain can show you that your misgivings are unfounded. As you draw consolation from your uplifting words, you will know without a doubt that you are indeed living your purpose and following the path that you committed to before birth. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Before I became sober in The Program, I blamed all my problems on other people, or on places and things. Now I’m learning to look squarely at each difficulty, not seeking whom to “blame,” but to discover how my attitude helped create my problem or aggravate it. I must also learn to face the consequences of my own actions and words, and to correct myself when I’m wrong. Do I practice the Tenth Step by continuing to take personal inventory? When I am wrong, do I promptly admit it? Today I Pray May I know the blessed relief and unburdening that comes when I admit I have done something wrong. May I learn — perhaps for the first time in my entire life — to take responsibility for my own actions and to face the consequences. May I learn again how to match actions with consequences. Today I Will Remember To take responsibility for my own actions. ****************************************** One More Day Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thoughts. – Percy Bysshe Shelley Our inner messages are much like tuning a radio; we choose what we want to hear. With a turn of the radio dial, the music changes from mellow and happy to sad and lonely and back again. The inner messages we choose to hear may fill our days with memories that are difficult to hear. But we can tune our minds to more positive thoughts, by noticing the beauty of our surroundings, by focusing on more pluses and on fewer minuses. We can, willingly, switch our minds to thoughts that are better for us and for our health. Why should we listen to the sad, lonely sounds when we have other choices? We can choose a daily program to suit our goals and needs, one that enhances desires and improves general well-being. Today, I will turn my personal dial to more positive messages. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ IMPULSIVENESS ~ "It is especially important not to make major life changes when you are guided by emotions. If you are emotionally excited (either in the positive or negative), wait until you calm down before taking action." Rabbi Zelig Pliskin When I first entered into recovery this was one of my main character defects. Since my life was out of control and spiraling downward, I acted impulsively and rarely did any thinking before acting. I wouldn't even admit that my actions were impulsive. I would get so mad at people if they said I was impulsive. Thanks to the steps I now have the tools that allow me to look at my actions in a new light - one of sanity and direction. Step One allowed me to admit that I was addicted to food and my life was unmanageable. Step Two allowed me to let others in to help with my problem. I was not in this alone. Step Three gave me a loving G-d to take care of growing me up and helping me with all my problems. Step Four brought things into perspective, Step Five brought healing from the shame of making those irreparable mistakes. Steps Six and Seven helped me look at what in me could be prayed about and improved. They taught me that this character defect was just a character asset being used improperly. Steps Eight and Nine brought me back into a right relationship with others. Step Ten keeps me focused in the now not the "what if's" or "you need to's" of the past. Sanity seemed to be coming from that awareness of living in today. Step Eleven gave me the gift of a G-d that is ever caring and always present to help me if I just do my side of the work. As a result I have a spirit of love today rather than a spirit of resentment and self-pity. Step Twelve might be the most important one because it is what keeps me in recovery and living a productive life. Today I do not have to react immediately to every thing that happens, I can even go to my sponsor and ask for guidance. If my sponsor doesn't have experience in that area I have a world full of people like me to go to who understand what I am experiencing. The tools give me a way to handle life on life's terms. One Day at a Time . . . I will chose to live and recover in the 12 steps. ~ Judith ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives , as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. - Pg. 19-20 - There Is A Solution Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The first few months are the hardest task we'll ever have to complete. Anyone who tells us how 'wonderful' it is, has lost touch with the pain and agony of beginning recovery. Although it is not wonderful in these first hours, first weeks, we can say, IT WILL BE WORTH IT. I sometimes feel this sucks, but grant me the ability to go clean and sober into the next hour. Inside My Mind I am changing, I can feel it. I am learning and growing just by being still. I am sensing more than I normally sense and feeling more than I normally feel. I am grateful to feel alive and to recognize that life is a spiritual journey. All my life circumstances are spiritual challenges, opportunities to see new sides of myself, new sides of life. Life surrounds me; it is inside, outside and everywhere. If I am open and still inside, life is there. If I am not lost in a million unnecessary distractions, life is there, spirit is there-waiting to be seen and felt. I allow my mind its freedom. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote He who laughs, lasts! 'But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered.' (P 132, AA Big Book) My laughter is good medicine. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Count your blessings so your blessings count. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will accept what I have and what I am and what I see in this moment. I will be fully alive in this moment and feel the joy of knowing that it is all that there is right now. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I look inside these bars and know that seconds and inches are between me and that girl sitting on that bar-stool, or that person vomiting on their shoes, or that one getting beat up around the corner. It's just seconds and inches. - Sharon B. |
March 6
Daily Reflections THE IDEA OF FAITH Do not let any prejudice you might have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47 The idea of faith is a very large chunk to swallow when fear, doubt and anger abound in and around me. Sometimes just the idea of doing something different, something I am not accustomed to doing, can eventually become an act of faith if I do it regularly, and do it without debating whether it's the right thing to do. When a bad day comes along and everything is going wrong, a meeting or a talk with another drunk often distracts me just enough to persuade me that everything is not quite as impossible, as overwhelming as I had thought. In the same way, going to a meeting or talking to a fellow alcoholic are acts of faith; I believe I'm arresting my disease. These are ways I slowly move toward faith in a Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A., we must surrender, give up, admit that we're helpless. We surrender our lives to God and ask Him for help. When He knows that we're ready, He gives us by His grace the free gift of sobriety. And we can't take any credit for having stopped drinking, because we didn't do it by our own willpower. There's no place for pride or boasting. We can only be grateful to God for doing for us what we could never do for ourselves. Do I believe that God has made me a free gift of the strength to stay sober? Meditation For The Day I must work for God, with God and through God's help. By doing all I can to bring about a true fellowship of human beings, I am working for God. I am also working with God, because this is the way God works, and He is with me when I am doing such work. I cannot do good work, however, without God's help. In the final analysis, it is through the grace of God that any real change in human personality takes place. I have to rely on God's power and anything I accomplish is through His help. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may work for God and with God. I pray that I may be used to change human personalities through God's help. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Growth By The Tenth Step, p. 65 In the years ahead A.A. will, of course, make mistakes. Experience has taught us that we need have no fear of doing this, providing that we always remain willing to admit our faults and to correct them promptly. Our growth as individuals has depended upon this healthy process of trial and error. So will our growth as a fellowship. Let us always remember that any society of men and women that cannot freely correct its own faults must surely fall into decay if not into collapse. Such is the universe penalty for the failure to go on growing. Just as each A.A. must continue to take his moral inventory and act upon it, so must our whole Society if we are to survive and if we are to serve usefully and well. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 231 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Example, not exception___Helping Others. It's always heady stuff when others congratulate us on our victory over alcohol. Fair-minded people will have considerable admiration for what appears to be a bootstrap effort to make a comeback from despair and defeat. We can accept this praise with grace and modesty. At some point, however, we should emphasize that our recovery was an example of spiritual principles at work and that thousands have been able to follow in the same path. Sober AA members are not exceptions; they are examples of what the program can do in people's lives. It is important to emphasize that we are ordinary people. The marvelous thing about the program is that it works for ordinary people like ourselves. Many people in the fellowship have great talent and ability, but those gifts have nothing to do with staying sober. The gifted person gets sober the same way anybody does..... by admitting powerlessness over alcohol and by accepting the program. We are also helped most by people who can serve as examples in our lives. It is always inspiring to know that we can follow in their paths and find what has been given to them. I want to provide a good example for others today. I will go through the day remembering that my sobriety is a gift that can be bestowed on anybody___it was not an exception just for me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck. Remember how we tried to make others think we were not in trouble? We walked and talked like addicts. We acted like addicts. Most everyone knew the truth but us. We were like ducks pretending to be eagles. We see ourselves as we really are. But sometimes we can't see ourselves that way. This is normal. That's why we need others to help us see what we can't. We were addicts. We are now recovering addicts. We need friends, sponsors, and family members to tell us when we may be acting like addicts again. It may save our lives. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, give my friends and family members the strength to tell me when I'm acting like an addict. Action for the Day: I'll go to people whom I trust and ask them to tell me when I'm acting like an addict. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Life is made up of desires that seem big and vital one minute, and little and absurd the next. I guess we get what's best for us in the end. --Alice Caldwell Rice It is often said that we will be granted our heart's "pure desires." When we have many unmet desires, maybe we should be grateful. Wants, ultimately not for our good, can open the way to many unneeded and painful experiences. How often we sit, wishing for a better job, a more loving relationship, a different weather forecast. How seldom we take positive advantage of what is at hand, not realizing that whatever is, right now, is the ticket to the next act in the drama of our lives. We have before us a very limited picture. We cannot possibly know just what we need to travel the distance that's in store for us. Our desires, when they are pure, will carry us to the right destination. They are inspired. But the desires that are motivated by our selfish egos will lead us astray. Many times in the past we did not give up those desires. And the painful memories linger. Desiring God's will is my most fruitful desire. It's also what is best for me; thus, what I need. All things are working for good when I let my higher power determine my desires. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM “Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.” pp. 42-43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. In 1930, I loved to Chicago. Shortly thereafter, aided by the Depression, I found that I had a great deal of spare time and that a little drink in the morning helped. By 1932, I was going on two- or three-day benders. That same year, my wife became fed up with my drinking around the house and called my dad in Akron to come and pick me up. She asked him to do something about me because she couldn't. She was thoroughly disgusted. pp. 258-259 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." WHEN Tradition Nine was first written, it said that "Alcoholics Anonymous needs that least possible organization." In years since then, we have changed our minds about that. Today, we are able to say with assurance that Alcoholics Anonymous--A.A. as a whole--should never be organized at all. Then, in seeming contradiction, we proceed to create special service boards and committees which in themselves are organized. How, then, can we have an unorganized movement which can and does create a service organization for itself? Scanning this puzzler, people say, "What do they mean, no organization?" p. 172 ************************************************** ********* We surrender to win. A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. --Basil (329-379 A.D.) "What we see depends mainly on what we look for." --John Lubbock "Age is a matter of feeling...not of years." --George William Curtis "The future comes one day at a time." --Dean Acheson Sharing love and life with someone is the one of the greatest gifts of all. Take the time to appreciate it and enjoy it. "Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside." --Dr. Melba Colgrove ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation HYPOCRISY "Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo." -- Ambrose Bierce As a religious person I could be such a hypocrite. I thought that my "goodness" was dependent upon my judging others to be inferior. I was always putting other people down so that I could appear terrific. But a part of me always knew this was wrong. I ignored the religious teaching that emphasized forgiveness and acceptance and instead focused on judgment and condemnation. It was all part of my sickness. Inside I was hurting and feeling guilty but I hid these feelings with a mask of hypocrisy and respectability. Today I do not need to do this. I have a religion that can accept the non-religious and rejoice in the different cultures and creeds. I do not fear those who are different, and I am slowly beginning to accept my many imperfections. You, who have loved me through forgiveness, help me to forgive. ************************************************** ********* "Put away your former way of life, your old self ... be renewed in the spirit of your minds ... according to the likeness of God." Ephesians 4:22-24 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13 Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:22-26 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Repeatedly remind yourself what a wonderful person you are. Lord, help me to believe in myself as You believe in me and focus on my goodness. God's plans for you are beyond your imagination. Lord, may I not limit myself to my past experiences, but be willing to accept new opportunities and challenges into my life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Rationalizing Away Our Recovery "As a result of the Twelve Steps, I'm not able to hold on to old ways of deceiving myself." Basic Text, pg. 176 We all rationalize. Sometimes we know we are rationalizing, admit we are rationalizing, yet continue to behave according to our rationalizations! Recovery can become very painful when we decide that, for one reason or another, the simple principals of the program don't apply to us. With the help of our sponsors and others in NA we can begin to look at the excuse we use for our behavior. Do we find that some principals just don't apply to us? Do we believe that we know more that everyone else in Narcotics Anonymous, even those who have been clean for many years? What makes us think that we're so special There is no doubt, we can successfully rationalize our way through part of our recovery. But, eventually, we must squarely face the truth and start acting accordingly. The principals in the Twelve Steps guide us to a new life in recovery. There is little room for rationalization there. Just for today: I cannot work the steps and also continue deceiving myself. I will examine my thinking for rationalizations, reveal them to my sponsor, and be rid of them. ************************************************** ********* This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow. --Hyemeyohsts Storm There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals. Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle." Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential. How can I look at things differently today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A boy must be initiated into the world of men. It doesn't happen by itself; it doesn't happen just because he eats Wheaties. And only men can do this work. --Robert Ely Many of us grew into manhood with a surface picture of what it means to be masculine. We had images of tough guys playing rough, but we weren't emotionally close enough to another man to really know him. Many of us never knew our fathers' strengths, passions, and weak points. It left us with a distorted picture of masculinity and not with an inner knowing. Getting close to other men is a new experience, and it may feel frightening or threatening. We can develop close friendships with other males and let them know us as we are, rather than as this picture we try to imitate. This kind of relationship in play and work and troubled times is a central part of our spiritual recovery. Close relationships with other men teach us confidence in ourselves and give us inner security. I will be aware today of men with whom 1 can develop a friendship and will take one small step toward them. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Peace Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, Ill worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying. Our best problem solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help. Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace. Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God. I am learning to trust my instincts and move away from unpleasant and stressful people, places and things. I no longer have to stay in situations that bring me unhappiness and pain. I am turning around today to see the joy. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Let Your Sexuality Be Connected to Your Heart He was a handsome man. An acotr. “Something happened to me lately,” he shared. “It’s about my sexuality. I used to be sexual when and where I felt like it. No more. And it’s not connected to fear of disease, although that’s certainly a concern. What happened to me is that my sexuality has become connected to my heart.” Let go of sexual shame. Embrace your sexuality. Value your senses, all of them– touch, smell, taste, seeing, and hearing. Value your other senses,too– your intuition, your spirituality, your spirit’s reaction to the world that dances around you. Open up to colors, textures, scents, and sounds. Open up to your energy, all of it, including your sexuality. Let yourself see that all expressions of your love and your being are beautiful. Let yourself learn to express and receive love in sensual ways, ways that work for you. Be done with sexual shame. Trust your body and what it likes. We aren’t disconnected parts. Open up. Discover your sexuality. Let it be connected to your heart. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Neutralize conflicts Unless you want a fight or an argument, don’t give people anything to push against. Here is a key to harmonizing with people who are upset or have a point of view different from your own. Stay so relaxed when you talk to them that you allow yourself to empathize with how they think and feel. That doesn’t mean that you give in to people’s every whim. It means, instead, that you are so clear and focused that you can genuinely let other people be who they are, too. It’s both naive and egotistical to think that everyone thinks and feels the same as us. It’s ridiculous to beliieve that everyone will agree with our point of view. One of the true signs of a person who is growing in consciousness is that he or she recognizes that each person has individual motives, desires, and feelings. “Instead of meeting a verbal attack with a verbal conterattack you respond first by coming around to your attacker’s point of view, seeing the situation from his or her viewpoint,” wrote George Leonard in the Way of Akido. He was talking about using a concept called “blending” to deal with verbal confromtations in our daily lives. “The response, whether physical or verbal, is quite disarming, leaving the attacker with no target to focus on. It’s a means by which you can multiply your options in responding to any kind of attack.” If the person espousing his or her point of view is just trying to get us to react or has no desire for reconciliation, we can still neutralize the conflict by staying relaxed, letting the other person be, and responding by saying “hmmmm.” It’s a polite way of saying whatever, when expressing your disagreement would only lead to a senseless fight. At the least, you’ll become a great conversationalist, a respectable art to be acquired. At best, you’ll bring about world peace, at least in your corner of the world. God, help me be so clear on who I am that I can generously afford to let other people be who they are,too. Help me to set aside my defensive behavior, and teach me to blend with other people and see their point of view while not relinquishing my own. ****************************************** Exploring an Alternate Universe What Makes People Tick? by Madisyn Taylor Interacting peacefully with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. All people have their own way of being in the world. It is easiest to comprehend this basic yet profound fact when we consider that every human being on the planet occupies a distinct role in the universe. We grow up in different environments, affected by a unique range of influences. The preferences, values, and beliefs we embrace are frequently related intimately to our origins. And the need to individualize our experiences is instinctive, as doing so enables us to cope when we must face challenges on our own. Consequently, each of us has developed a perspective that is uniquely ours. Interacting peacefully and constructively with people from all walks of life is a matter of first understanding where they are coming from. Then we can adjust our expectations so that we avoid making undue assumptions about what they are about. In the face of emerging interpersonal conflict, it is easy to assume that others are being difficult, unreasonable, or stubborn. We are apt to grow frustrated when someone in our environment does not share our opinions or feel compelled to support us in our endeavors. It is likely that the individual or individuals before us may simply possess differing notions with regard to what is and what is not important in this life. We can ease the tension that exists between us by reaffirming our belief in the fundamental right of all beings to determine their own destinies. To foster a harmonious relationship, we need to do our best to relate to the unique universes they inhabit. And as we discover what makes them tick, our ability to find a mode of interaction that is pleasing to both of us is enhanced. When there are barriers keeping you from connecting with someone else, think of questions you can ask them to gain a more thorough understanding of their point of view. You may discover that in addition to the differences in perspective dividing you, they are subject to insecurities and other personal issues that influence their way of seeing the world. It is likely that you will never fully grasp the myriad complexities embodied by humanity, but you can go a long way toward encouraging mutually satisfying relations by reaching out to others in the spirit of sympathetic comprehension. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day There is no advantage, no profit and certainly no growth when I deceive myself merely to escape the consequences of my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I’ll be making progress. “We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us,” wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is An Island. “But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we set it.” Am I true to myself? Today I Pray May I count on my Higher Power to help me carry out the truth as I see it. May I never duck a consequence again. Consequence-ducking became a parlor game for chemically addictive persons like me, until we lost all sense of relationship between action and outcome. Now that I am healing, please God, restore my balance. Today I Will Remember Match the Act with the consequence. ****************************************** One More Day The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones. –Somerset Maugham Old habits often die hard, especially bad ones. We may need to be tactfully silent when we become irritated with the behavior or habits of our loved ones. It may seem at times as though everyone around us is either nail biting, smoking, cussing, or overeating. When illness enters the scene, or any other stressor for that matter, bad habits tend to resurface. We may be less tolerant of others’ faults and even of their good health. It’s hard to put away old habits, especially the old pattern of being critical, but we can learn to let go. Even with extra stress in our lives we can begin to work on developing new habits. We can learn to recognize the growth we’ve achieved and to feel proud. I can begin today to develop strong, new habits and to hold on to my old, strong habits. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Scars "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." ~ Kahlil Gibran I’ve lived most of my life filled with bitterness towards people, God and myself. My mind, soul, and body were consumed by hatred, self-pity, pain, hopelessness, and a complete sense of powerlessness. I focused my energy on reviewing my scars. I counted them, checked them, nurtured them, and flaunted them. They were proof of all the wrongs I’d endured. They were my source of energy. They were my identity. They were my badge of sorrow. As I work my recovery, I am beginning to see everything from a new perspective. Gradually my head is lifted and my eyes are turned away from my once-beloved scars. The more I allow myself to accept that my powerlessness is not a prison of doom, the more I discover that it is my doorway to faith, surrender, and serenity. My scars are still here. There is no magic potion to remove them. What is magical, however, is that I see them so differently. I find that I have a choice to make every day: I can cherish my scars as proof of the pain I have suffered, or I can be thankful for them as evidence of things I have survived. Scar tissue forms and creates a stronger, thicker skin in its place. I can either pick at it and make it bleed, or I can welcome the lessons and endurance it has built into my life. One day at a time... I will choose to see my scars as proof of the difficulties I have survived. I will choose to appreciate them as evidence that God has brought me through suffering and has used all things to strengthen my faith in Him, my hope for tomorrow, and my serenity for today. Lisa A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote This fourth edition of 'Alcoholics Anonymous' came off the press in November 2001, at the start of a new millennium. Since the third edition was published in 1976, worldwide membership of A.A. has just about doubled, to an estimated two million or more, with nearly 100,800 groups meeting in approximately 150 countries around the world. - Pg. xxiii - Forward To Fourth Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Even in the confusion and chaos of beginning sobriety, a place exists for spiritual promise and character. Freud once remarked, gazing on a crystal, that the place where that crystal is broken is the very place where we can see its structure. The place where you are broken is the very place that reveals your character. I use my broken places to show what I am made of--integrity, courage, and determination. Prayer Prayer helps me to heal. Study after study scientifically prove that prayer is beneficial to my health. I will pray for my healing throughout my day when ever it occurs to me. I will accept and be grateful or the prayers of others knowing that they are being carried to me by unseen hands. Just as radio waves pulse through the air and become voices, prayers come to me in an inner voice. I will ask my body to hear the prayers that are coming toward me and to invite them into each and every cell. I accept the power of prayer to heal - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You certainly are not good at every aspect of service to your group. You may be good at opening meetings, emptying ash trays, remembering to contact people, or going out on Twelve Step calls. Maybe you are lousy at greeting people at the door, holding office, getting birthday cakes, or paying the rent. Whatever you lack skills for, others can pick up; whatever you are good at, recognize! For my shortcomings, I delegate; for my strengths, I congratulate. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book The smallest deed is better than the grandest intention. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am learning to trust my instincts and move away from unpleasant and stressful people, places and things. I no longer have to stay in situations that bring me unhappiness and pain. I am turning around today to see the joy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Being a speaker is not the measure of an alcoholic. Some of the finest speakers I've heard in AA died drunk. And some of the finest AA members I've ever known never spoke from podiums. - Gayle W. |
March 7
Daily Reflections THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35 The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all of my problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over my problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God's will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day There are two important things we have to do if we want to get sober and stay sober. First, having admitted that we are helpless before alcohol, we have to turn our alcoholic problem over to God and trust Him to take care of it for us. This means asking Him every morning for the strength to stay sober for that day and thanking Him every night. It means really leaving the problem in God's hands and not reaching out and getting the problem back to ourselves. Second, having given our drink problem to God, we must cooperate with Him by doing something about it ourselves. Am I doing these two things? Meditation For The Day I must prepare myself by doing each day what I can to develop spiritually and to help others to do so. God tests me and trains me and bends me to His will. If I am not properly trained, I cannot meet the test when it comes. I must want God's will for me above all else. I must expect to have what I am not prepared for. This preparation consists of quiet communion with God every day and gradually gaining the strength I need. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may really try to do God's will in all my affairs. I pray that I may do all I can to help others find God's will for them. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It For Emergencies Only?, p. 66 Whether we had been believers or unbelievers, we began to get over the idea that the Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning. 12 & 12, p. 75 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places First things First Order The struggle to bring order into our lives starts with lots of little things. One recovering person discovered that it was a good exercise simply to put the cap back on the toothpaste tube in the morning. This was a reminder that things should be put in their proper place, and the discipline helped later in organizing larger matters. It is very easy to overlook orderly procedures in the haste to get things done, or to avoid anything that seems unpleasant or demanding. But such oversight always carries a heavy price later on. When we don't return things to their proper place, for example, we lose them or waste hours looking for them. We may bungle a job simply because we were too lazy to look up the right information or to read directions. That's why "First things First" is much more than just a slogan. It's actually a principle for living, a guide that tells us there is an orderly approach to everything. If we can find that order without becoming slavishly compulsive about it, we'll find that it simplifies lots of things later on. I'll try to do things in an orderly manner today. When I find myself taking short cuts or becoming too hurried, I'll regain control by remembering to establish priorities. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple To make the world a friendly place One must show it a friendly face.---James Whitcomb Riley We are beginning to learn that we get what we expect. Why? If we believe that people are out to get us, we'll not treat them well. We will think it's okay to "get them" before they "get us." Then, they'll be angry and want to get even. And on it goes. It's great when we can meet the world with a balance. We are honest people. We can expect others to be fair with us. We get the faith, strength, and courage to do this because of our trust in our Higher Power. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I put my life in Your care. Use me to spread Your love to others. Action for the Day: Today, I'll spread friendliness. I will greet people with a smile. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. --Anne Frank We must take responsibility for ourselves, for who we become, for how we live each day. The temptation to blame others may be ever present. And much of our past adds up to wasted days or years perhaps, because we did blame someone else for the unhappiness in our lives. We may have blamed our own parents for not loving us enough. We may have labeled our husbands the villains. Other people did affect us. That's true. However, we chose, you and I, to let them control us, overwhelm us, shame us. We always had other options, but we didn't choose them. Today is a new day. Recovery has opened up our options. We are learning who we are and how we want to live our lives. How exhilarating to know that you and I can take today and put our own special flavor in it. We can meet our personal needs. We can, with anticipation, chart our course. The days of passivity are over, if we choose to move ahead with this day. I will look to this day. Every day is a new beginning. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Fred’s story speaks for itself. We hope it strikes home to thousands like him. He had felt only the first nip of the wringer. Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems. p. 43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. This was the beginning of five years of bouncing back and forth between my home in Chicago and Akron to sober up. It was a period of binges coming closer and closer together and being of longer duration. Once Dad came all the way to Florida to sober me up after a hotel manager called him and said that if he wanted to see me alive he'd better get there fast. My wife could not understand why I would sober up for Dad but not for her. They went into a huddle, and money away so that I could get no liquor and had to sober up. p. 259 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." Well, let's see. Did anyone ever hear of a nation, a church, a political party, even a benevolent association that had no membership rules? Did anyone ever hear of a society which couldn't somehow discipline its members and enforce obedience to necessary rules and regulations? Doesn't nearly every society on earth give authority to some of its members to impose obedience upon the rest and to punish or expel offenders? Therefore, every nation, in fact every form of society, has to be a government administered by human beings. Power to direct or govern is the essence of organization everywhere. p. 172 ************************************************** ********* "I used to say, 'I sure hope things will change.' Then I learned that the only way things are going to change for me is when I change." --Jim Rohn Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. --Henry Ward Beecher Expecting the world to be fair to you because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. Today I will do something I should have done yesterday. --Nelle Bruner Weddington It's so important to treat others like you would expect to be treated. It's a universal law that the hurt and pain you have caused on others will come back and affect you, but the love and joy you have inspired in others, will also inspire you. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation IDEALS "An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." -- H.L. Mencken The spiritual program teaches me to be an idealist with my feet on the ground. People will continue to hurt, get angry and tell lies; wrestling with imperfections is not just my problem. I need to accept that I live in an imperfect world and recovery involves reality, not illusion. My responsibility in recovery is for my life. I cannot change other people, events or relationships --- I can only change me. I am not God. Each time I forget this fact, I risk another hurt. Help me to aspire for ideals that are within my grasp. ************************************************** ********* "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalms 46:1 For the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezek 36:26 Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration It is not in the good times, but rather in the times of stress and misfortune, that our faith is tested. Lord, remove my doubts as they creep in and help me turn my times of turmoil into times of spiritual growth. No matter what you must confront today, know that God is with you. Lord, today is part of Your plan for me. I do not doubt You and therefore I will not doubt You within me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Priorities "The good times can also be a trap; the danger is that we may forget that our first priority is to stay clean." Basic Text, p. 42 Things can get really good in our recovery. Perhaps we've found our "soul mate" built a rewarding career, started a family. Maybe our relationships with our family members have healed. Things are going so well, we barely have time to attend meetings. Perhaps we begin to reintegrate into society so successfully that we forget that we don't always react to situations like others do. Maybe, just maybe, we've put some priorities ahead of themselves. Is meeting attendance still a priority with us? Do we still sponsor? Do we phone our sponsor? What step are we working? Are we still willing to drag ourselves out of bed at some ungodly hour for a Twelfth Step call? Do we remember to practice principles in all our affairs? If others in NA reach out to us, are we available? Do we remember where we came from, or have the "good times" allowed us to forget? To stay clean, we must remember that we are only one drug away from our past. We stay grateful for the good times, but we don't let them divert us from our continuing recovery in Narcotics Anonymous. Just for today: I'm grateful for the good times, but I've not forgotten from where I've come. Today, my first priority is staying clean and growing in my recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. He who distributes the milk of human kindness cannot help but spill a little on himself. --James Barrie We like ourselves best when we like those around us. When we smile at them, they smile back; when we ask them, they tell us about themselves. When we scowl at people, they'll frown back; when we ignore them, they'll walk away. It's true that we get back what we put into things, whether it's work, play, love, or gardening. We decide by the extent of our commitment how valuable or enjoyable or depressing an experience can be for us. Our actions toward others come right back to us. When we smile at people, they smile back, and we feel good. Sometimes feeling good about ourselves depends on feeling good about others. When we send out that smile of ours, those who get it pass it on, and we have added power to the happiness of the world. What can I do to show my fondness for others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life. There is no life without pain just as there is no art without submitting to chaos. --Rita Mae Brown It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as controlling ourselves or controlling how people respond to us. We may be worried about a loved one's behavior or safety, but not realize our hovering over that person is a controlling activity. We may be keenly aware of other people's controlling behavior with us, but unaware we have equaled their control by monitoring them and trying to change their behavior. What a moment of spiritual adventure it is to risk living through the pain! When we do not seek an escape or a quick fix but have patience with the process, new possibilities often do develop. We can only let go of our control - or turn it over to our Higher Power. And we will do it and forget, taking control back within minutes or within an hour. Then we let go again. Today, I will submit to the insecurity of a changing universe and have faith that 1 can live through the process and grow. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Fulfillment Everything I need shall be provided today. Everything. Say it, until you believe it. Say it at the beginning of the day. Say it throughout the day. Sometimes, it helps to know what we want and need. But if we don't, we can trust that God does. When we ask, trust, and believe that our needs will be met, our needs will be met. Sometimes God cares about the silliest little things, if we do. Today, I will affirm that my needs will be met. I will affirm that God cares and is the Source of my supply. Then I will let go and see that what I have risked to believe is the truth. It is exciting to know that my thoughts and my actions in the present moment condition the next moment. I am responsible for my future. Today I am bringing awareness to my self-talk and replacing all negative thoughts with positive thoughts as soon as they appear on my mindscape. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Redefine Service Service is a key, an important one. It’s a key to joy, to love. And a gold key to the journey. How long we thought service meant doing everything for everyone. How long we thought service had to be hard, taxing, boring– that it meant doing something we didn’t want to do to help someone who didn’t want to be helped. Now, we’re defining service differently. Service is joyful. It’s an attitude, a belief, a way of looking at ourselves and our lives. Our very life is service. Our being is service. Service arises and springs naturally out of self-love. It arises from being who we are and from doing the things we want to do and are led to do. The things that bring us the most joy will bring the most service to the world. Doing things we don’t want to do will leave us and the world around us cold, untouched, unmoved. Service is love and joy. Service is being who you are. Bask in self-love. Service will flow naturally from that. It will be freely given and freely received. And now what you do will really help. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Recognize manipulations Herein lies an irony: the person who is trying to manipulate you views you as having greater strength or power than he or she does. –George H. Green and Carolyn Cotter Stop Being Manipulated George Green and Carolyn Cotter describe manipulation as an encounter in which someone else attempts to control how you feel, behave, or think– without your permission– and it causes you discomfort as a result. Most of us use manipulation, from time to time, to get what we want. Sometimes our manipulations are harmless’ even cute. Both people know a low-grade manipulation is at hand. Both people basically want what the manipulator is working so hard to get– dinner out, a movie, a walk through the park. It’s not a big deal. Other times, the stakes are higher and the people involved don’t agree. That’s when manipulations can be harmful. When we don’t know what we want, when we’re not clear with others and ourselves about how we feel, a manipulation is in the air. Sometimes manipulationx are conscious and deliberate. Other times they’re unconscious, foggy attempts to get what we want. “Let’s simplify our definition of manipulation,” suggest Green and Cotter. “If an encounter leaves you feeling crummy, it probably involves manipulation of some sort.” Isn’t it ironic that sometimes the very feeling we’re trying to deny is exactly what we need to be feeling to take care of ourselves? Next time you’re faced with a situation that leaves you feeling crummy, take a moment to see if a manipulation was involved. Remember that whenever others try to manipulate you, they perceive you as having something they want and as being more powerful than they are. If you’re powerful enough to be a target for a manipulation, you’re powerful enough to take care of yourself. God, help me let go of my belief that I need to manipulate other people to get what I want. Help me stop letting others manipulate me. ****************************************** Letting Go of Understanding Deeper Meanings by Madisyn Taylor We don't always need to know the deeper meaning of everything that happens in our lives. All of us who seek to be conscious and aware regard our experiences as teachers, and we try to discern what lessons we are learning from the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes the lesson is very clear from the get-go, and other times we have to really search to understand the deeper meaning behind some event. While this search often yields results, there also comes a point in the search where what we really need to do is move forward. It is possible that we are not meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences. Answers may come later in our lives, or they may come as a result of letting go, or they may never come. We are all part of a complex system of being, and things work themselves out in the system as a whole. Sometimes we are just playing a necessary part in that process with a result larger than we can understand. It may have very little to do with us personally, and while that can be hard to understand, it can also free us from overthinking the matter. Sometimes it is best to see it in terms of karma, a past debt we have been able to repay in this way, or as the clearing of energy. We can simply thank the event for being part of our experience and let it go. This completes the process that the occurrence has made possible. To make this letting go official, we can perform a ritual, make a final journal entry on the subject, or sit in meditation with the intention of releasing the event from our consciousness. As we do so, we summon it one last time, honoring it with our attention, thanking it, and saying good-bye. We then let it go out the door, out the window, out the top of our heads, or into the earth through the bottoms of our feet, liberating ourselves from any burden we have carried in association with it. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day It’s time for me to realize that my attitude — toward the life I’m living and the people in it — can have a tangible, measurable and profound effect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to me. And If I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation, I know it will change all the circumstances of my life for the better, too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent on my spiritual condition? Today I Pray since my illness was spiritual — as well as physical and emotional — may I mend spiritually through daily communion with God. May I find a corner of quiet within me where I can spend a few moments with Him. May He make His will known to me. May I worship Him from that inner temple that is in myself. Today I will Remember To spend a quiet moment with God. ****************************************** One More Day Life if you will, is a work of art, and if we have paid loving attention to its details, we will be able to take pride in the finished product. – Harold Kushner Without even realizing it, we often do things that are good for us and make us happy. We do something that creates well-being, and we have a successful day. When we pay attention to actions that create well-being we can have a successful week. Taking good care of our homes makes us feel proud and so does helping a fellow human being in need. Making volunteer work a part of how we live, showing kindness to others and ourselves, reaching out — all these choices enhance our well-being. When we pay attention to those around us, a transformation occurs within our spiritual selves. Then we shall have given ourselves the gift of a meaningful life. I will pay loving attention to the details of my day. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Perseverance To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil on it. Mother Teresa As a child I can still remember being terribly stubborn, and would even have a temper tantrum if I didn't want to do something. As I grew up, the trait of stubbornness remained, and it would be hard to get me to budge if I had decided I didn't want to do something. After coming into the program, I realized that stubbornness is actually a character defect of mine, and whilst I am praying to be relieved of it in its negative form, I also know that that same character defect in its positive form has helped me tremendously in the program, especially seeing my journey has been one which has been characterized with many slips along the way. But one of the things that I've never stopped doing is coming back, and I know that it is this very character defect of stubbornness, turned into perseverance, that has made me keep working at the program, even when it would be easier to just give up. So I have kept coming to meetings, and working the steps and the tools even when I was struggling, because I know that it is only when I do that, I have a chance of recovery. It has been said that this is a program of action, and so I repeat on a daily basis the actions that have brought recovery to thousands. Some days it is harder than others, especially when the willingness is not there, and on those days my old pattern of wanting to block out the feelings with food resurfaces. But I also know that when I use the tools and work the steps, I can deal with the feelings without resorting to food, because my Higher Power will help me to get through the daily struggles when I turn them over to Him. So what I need to do on a daily basis is to ask for help from my Higher Power with my unmanageable life, instead of turning to food, and even on days where I'm struggling, I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and persevering with working the program. One Day at a Time . . . I will persevere with working the program, so that I can recover from this disease of compulsive overeating and be restored to sanity on a daily basis. ~ Sharon ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt -- and one more failure. - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Right now, whatever is bothering you, set it aside. Turn to the next person you see and smile. Tell them hi and wish them well for the moment. That is the first step to getting out of self. When I am tempted to obsess on myself, please show me the way to be kind to someone else. Letting My Body Speak I will let my body have a voice today and I will listen to what it's trying to say to me. If my body's voice has tears in it, I will allow those tears to come out. If my body is holding anger, I will allow myself to experience that anger so that it can dissolve and my cells no longer have to hold it for me. If my body wants to shiver and shake I will let it, knowing that it just needs to release something it doesn't want to hang onto any more. I allow my body to let go of the emotions it is holding - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Being angry at God won't hurt God, and neither will it provoke Him to take measures against us. If it makes us feel better to vent our anger at Him over a painful situation, we are free to do it. The only thing wrong with doing it is that what happened to us was not really God's fault.' -Harold S. Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People Usually, things don't happen TO make me angry; things happen THAT make me angry. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book You may be the only copy of the Big Book some people ever see. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I feel so good knowing that I am a power of example for future generations today as I walk on my new path of truth. I am making a difference not only in my own life but in the lives of those who follow me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I had an open mind; everything went right through. - Anon. |
March 8
Daily Reflections TURNING IT OVER Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn't it true that in all matters touching upon alcohol, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous? . . . Any willing newcomer feels sure A.A. is the only safe harbor for the foundering vessel he has become. Now if this is not turning one's will and life over to a newfound Providence, then what is it? TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 35 Submission to God was the first step to my recovery. I believe our Fellowship seeks a spirituality open to a new kinship with God. As I exert myself to follow the path of the Steps, I sense a freedom that gives me the ability to think for myself. My addiction confined me without any release and hindered my ability to be released from my self-confinement, but A.A. assures me of a way to go forward. Mutual sharing, concern and caring for others is our natural gift to each other and mine is strengthened as my attitude toward God changes. I learn to submit to God's will in my life, to have self-respect, and to keep both of these attitudes by giving away what I receive. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day A.A. Thought For The Day We must go to A.A. meetings regularly. We must learn to think differently. We must change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. We must reeducate our minds. We must try to help other alcoholics. We must cooperate with God by spending at least as much time and energy on the A.A. program as we did on drinking. We must follow the A.A. program to the best of our ability. Have I turned my alcoholic problem over to God and am I cooperating with Him? Meditation For The Day The joy of true fellowship shall be mine in full measure. I will revel in the joy of real fellowship. There will come back a wonderful joy, if I share in fellowship now. Fellowship among spiritually minded people is the embodiment of God's purpose for this world. To realize this will bring me a new life-joy. If I share in humanity's joy and travail, a great blessing will be mine. I can truly live a life not of earth, but a heaven-life here and now. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be helped and healed by true spiritual fellowship. I pray that I may sense His presence in spiritual fellowship with His children. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Thousands of "Founders", p. 67 "While I thank God that I was privileged to be an early member of A.A., I honestly wish that the word 'founder' could be eliminated from the A.A. vocabulary. "When you get right down to it, everyone who has done any amount of successful Twelfth Step work is bound to be the founder of a new life for other alcoholics." << << << >> >> >> "A.A. was not invented! Its basis were brought to us through the experience and wisdom of many great friends. We simply borrowed and adapted their ideas." << << << >> >> >> "Thankfully, we have accepted the devoted services of many nonalcoholics. We owe our very lives to the men and women of medicine and religion. And, speaking for Dr. Bob and myself, I gratefully declare that had it not been for our wives, Anne and Lois, neither of us could have lived to see A.A.'s beginning." 1. Letter, 1945 2. Letter, 1966 3. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places What Do I project? ___ Personal Relations. Were we ever told that our problems with other people really started within ourselves? If we have trouble getting along with another person, for example, is it because we are projecting mixed signals of fear and suspicion toward that person? We tend to reap what we sow----- we get back the attitudes we project. At the same time, however, we can't take total responsibility for the way others treat us or behave toward us. We cannot reform or control impossible people. When dealing with impossible people, we have control over our own feelings and responses. This helps us avoid potential trouble and enables us to deal with difficult situations. But the principle of sowing what we reap….. that is, getting back what we project… can really be proved by the person whose resentments and bitterness have driven away most of his or her friends. A simple change of attitude on our part can bring startling change for the better in there responses of others. With practice, the principle also applies to the broad area of human relations in many ways. For purposes of inventory, therefore, we should always look first at ourselves and our own thoughts and feelings when we find ourselves in a bad situation with others. …….I will take care today to see that my thoughts and feeling toward others reflect what I want in my own life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We lose the fear of making decisions, great and small, as we realize that should our choice prove wrong we can, if we will, learn from experience.---Bill W. As our disease grew, we often felt like any decision we made was wrong. We felt like wrong people. We lost self-respect, because deep inside we knew that, for us alcohol and other drugs was wrong. We went against our spirit. Now we go with our spirit. We follow what we think our Higher Power want for us. Now we learn from our mistakes. Another wonderful gift has been given back to us: the gift of learning. From that gift, we stop playing God. How free it feels! Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You have taken away my illness and replaced it with many wonderful gifts. I thank You for everything, even my mistakes. Action for the Day: Today, I'll share with a friend my mistakes of the past week. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning To create is to boggle the mind and alter the mood. Once the urge has surged, it maintains its own momentum. We may go along for the ride, but when we attempt to steer the course, the momentum dies. --Sue Atchley Ebaugh A sense of spiritual well-being warms us when we are selfless, when we step away from our obsessing egos, when we let our pure, unfettered desires direct our thoughts and our steps. Our egos may be keeping us caged in old behavior, old fears. Egos struggle for self-preservation; unfortunately, it's our old, unhealthy self the ego is preserving. The Steps make it possible for us to unload our baggage from earlier days, baggage that intrudes on our perceptions of today's events. The Steps clear the path so we can move responsibly forward. Living creatively is living in the thick of the flow, trusting the flow, spontaneously moving with the flow, not controlling the flow. We are Spirit-full when we let ourselves roll forward, resisting not, doubting not. And our greatest contributions will be discovered when our ego takes a rest. My creativity awaits my discovery. It's there. I will release it from the clutches of my ego. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: “What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholics’ plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.” p. 43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. One time my wife decided to try this too. After finding every bottle that I had hidden around the apartment, she took away my pants, my shoes, my money, and my keys, threw them under the bed in the back bedroom, and slip-locked our door. By one a.m. I was desperate. I found some wool stockings, some white flannels that had shrunk to my knees, and an old jacket. I jimmied the front door so that I could get back in, and walked out. I was hit by an icy blast. It was February with snow and ice on the ground, and I had a four-block walk to the nearest cab stand, but I made it. On my ride to the nearest bar, I sold the driver on how misunderstood I was by my wife and what an unreasonable person she was. By the time we reached the bar, he was willing to buy me a quart with his own money. Then when we got back to the apartment, he was willing to wait two or three days until I got my health back to be paid off for the liquor and fare. I was a good salesman. My wife could not understand the next morning why I was drunker than the night before, when she had taken my bottles. pp. 259-260 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." Yet Alcoholics Anonymous is an exception. It does not conform to this pattern. Neither its General Service Conference, its Foundation Board,* nor the humblest group committee can issue a single directive to an A.A. member and make it stick, let alone mete out any punishment. We've tried it lots of times, but utter failure is always the result. Groups have tried to expel members, but the banished have come back to sit in the meeting place, saying "This is life for us; you can't keep us out." Committees have instructed many an A.A. to stop working on a chronic backslider, only to be told: "How I do my Twelfth Step work is my business. Who are you to judge?" This doesn't mean an A.A. won't take advice or suggestions from more experienced members, but he surely won't take orders. Who is more unpopular than the old-time A.A., full of wisdom, who moves to another area and tries to tell the group there how to run its business? He and all like him who "view with alarm for the good of A.A." meet the most stubborn resistance or, worse still, laughter. *In 1954, the name of the Alcoholic Foundation Inc., was changed to the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous, Inc., and the Foundation office is now the General Service Office. p. 173 ************************************************** ********* There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. --John Andrew Holme Keeping hearts happy is a lot like keeping bodies happy. We need to feed our hearts well through reading, prayer, and meditation, and to exercise them by loving. --Jane Nakken The Twelve Steps have powerfully guided me from just surviving to living. --Elizabeth Farrell God's gifts are slowly revealed. --Michele Fedderly God is with us in every problem we face. --Naoko Ezaki ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DOUBT "Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance." -- Will Durant Spirituality is the art of knowing that we do not know. It is waking up in the morning with our eyes fully opened and awaiting the adventure of the new day. New things, new theories, new facts are being discovered every day and it makes for a glorious, confusing and exciting world. There was a time when I could not say this; a time when knowledge and facts were collected and regurgitated. I used knowledge to protect myself from the challenge and inconsistencies of life. God had to be not only a proven fact but evidenced in theories and dogmas --- the mystery was lost. Today I believe that God cannot be contained by dogma and rules. The doubts have become part of my faith. The state of "not knowing" becomes creative and stimulating. My relationship with God today is real. To "not know" is the beginning of wisdom. You, who have spoken through the wind and the fire, speak through my doubts. ************************************************** ********* God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5 The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Often times the happiness you seek is already near at hand. Lord, help me to appreciate what I already have because You never stop blessing me even when I don't notice. When you can't seem to be a shining example, at least twinkle a little. Lord, when I am weary, You are there. When I am weak, You are there. When I stumble, You are always ready to pick me up. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Learning To Love Ourselves "What we want most is to feel good about ourselves." Basic Text, p. 97 "We'll love you until you can learn to love yourself!" These words, heard so often in our meetings, promise a day we look forward to eagerly - the day when we'll know how to love ourselves. Self-esteem, we all want this elusive quality as soon as we hear about it. Some of us seem to stumble upon it accidentally, while others embark on a course of action complete with affirmations made to our reflections in the mirror. But fix-it-yourself techniques and trendy psychological cures can only take us so far. There are some definite, practical steps we can take to show love for ourselves, whether we "feel" that love or not. We can take care of our personal responsibilities. We can do nice things for ourselves, as we would for a lover or a friend. We can start paying attention to our own needs. We can even pay attention to the qualities that we cherish in our friends - qualities like intelligence and humor - and look for those same qualities in ourselves. We're sure to find that we really are lovable people, and once we do that, we're well on our way. Just for today: I will do something today that helps me recognize and feel love for myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Laughter by definition is healthy. --Doris Lessing A hearty laugh can warm a cold room and make our spirits soar. But many of us are afraid to laugh, especially when we make mistakes. We think we're supposed to be perfect, and we don't allow ourselves to make mistakes. However, we're not a mold punched out by a machine. We're human beings, with all our wonderful flaws. It is those flaws that make our lives interesting and surprising. Who knows when we might accidentally bump into a chair or catch our sweater on a doorknob? We needn't feel self-conscious, it happens to many of us. The ability to laugh at ourselves is a gift from God. All we need to do is grab it and use it. Then we will see how healthy and powerful laughter can be. Can I find the humor in my mistakes today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Before the rain stops we hear a bird. Even under the heavy snow we see snowdrops and some new growth. --Shunryu Suzuki The signals that new growth is underway are often very small at first. It's sometimes discouraging when we are trying to remake our lives and all we can see for our efforts is minor growth. That is how the natural world works, and we are part of this world. When the little sprouts of growth first develop under the snow in spring we don't even see them unless we search. Yet, they signal the beginnings of a total transformation. Time will bring vast changes, but only little signs are showing first. Today, we may search for signs of progress in our lives. The little things we see may signal bigger transformations yet to come. To be true to them in the long run we must accept them - even welcome them - as they are today. I will notice the subtle movements toward health and renewal in my life. Welcoming them will encourage them. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Surrender Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. --Step Three of Al Anon Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered. We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible. Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe. And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided. It will be good. Understand that it is good, now. Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none. Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered. Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours. Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power. I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive. With every breath that I take, healing is taking place. I relax safely in the knowledge that positive, healing energy is working in my life today. I am being renewed and refreshed and energized. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Your Dreams Are Important A woman told me about a dream she had, one that was bothering her deeply. “What do you think it means?” she asked. “I don’t know,” I replied. “Besides, it doesn’t matter what I think. The important thing is what you think. What’s it telling you?” We dream two kinds of dreams– waking dreams and sleeping dreams. Both are powerful forms of consciousness. Our sleeping dreams, the images that dance in our minds while we sleep, hold many clues to life, growth, the future, the past, healing, and our connections with others. They may reveal suppressed emotions. They may be bits and pieces of prophecy. They may be symbols of truths we’re about to learn. Our waking dreams are important,too. We go about daily with our expectations, wants, desires, hopes– our heart’s plan for the future. We may not express these dreams. We may not even realize we are superimposing them on our lives, much the same way we can forget what we dream when we sleep. There’s power in allowing ourselves to become conscious of our dreams. What are our dreams telling us about what we want, fear, hope for, desire? Expressing our dreams will connect us to our consciousness and a higher consciousness. Expressing them will connect us to the creative force. Tapping into our dreams helps us tap into creativity– creativity for our lives, creativity for projects, the powerful creative force of the universe. There’s power in dreaming, whether we’re asleep or awake. Take time to honor and express your dreams. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn to deal with manipulations Even if you understand and follow all of the rules for more effectively engaging manipulators, life with them is not likely to be easy. –George K. Simon Jr. Sometimes they want something. Sometimes they want someone. Sometimes they want someone to give them something or to feel a particular way. They want power, in some way, shape, or form. Manipulators prey on our weak spots. Obsession and guilt are weapons. Manipulators get us to use these weapons on ourselves. Sometimes we can disengage from manipulators– walk away, set a clear limit, be done with them. Other times, it’s not that easy. We may be at least temporarily stuck with a boss or authority figure who indulges in heavy manipulation. One of our children may be going through a relentlessly manipulative period. We may have a parent whom we care about deeply who has adapted manipulation as a way of life. Learn how to effectively deal with manipulators. Not everyone means what they say. People fling words about to hit our guilty, vain, or frightened spots. Recognize that tinge of guilt or coercion you feel when other people are trying to force you to do it their way. Learn to recognize when others are telling you what they believe you want to hear. Learn to not react, stay clear, practice nonresistence, and stay true to yourself. Be gentle with yourself, if you have a manipulator in your life. You’re not responsible for the other person’s attempts at manipulation. You’re responsible for staying clear. God, help me let go of the weak spots in myself that allow me to fall prey to manipulations. Help me stay clear of guilt and obsession so I can decide what’s best for me. ****************************************** Defense Mechanisms Beyond Behavior by Madisyn Taylor We can let go of our defense mechanisms when we are ready to be truly honest with ourselves. We all have defense mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviors that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. Such behavior is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because we are spiritual beings as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to work directly from that place of truth within us. Most of our defense mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realized crying would get us the attention we craved. Passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defenses can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us. When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, then we can connect our desires to the creative power of the spirit within us. Knowing that we are one with the energy of the universe allows us release any need for defense. Trusting that power, we know that we are exactly where we are meant to be, and that challenges bring gifts of growth and experience. When we can put down arms raised in defense, then we are free to use our hands, minds, hearts and spirits to mold and shape our abundant energy to create and live our lives. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Merely to change my behavior, and what I say and do, doesn’t prove there’s been a change in my actual inner attitude. I’m deceiving myself if I believe I can somehow completely disguise my true feelings. They’ll somehow come through, prolonging the difficulties in my relationships with others. I have to avoid half-measures in getting rid of the trouble-some emotions I’ve been trying to hide. Have I taken an honest inventory of myself? Today I Pray May I know that feelings will come out somehow — sometimes barely disguised as behavior that I cannot always understand. But that perhaps in more acceptable to me than the root emotion that caused it. May I be completely and vigilantly honest with myself. May I be given the insight that comes through depending upon a Higher Power. Today I Will Remember Feelings can come out “sideways.” ****************************************** One More Day We cannot learn without pain. – Aristotle It is said that pain and experience are life’s two greatest teachers. What good would it be if we felt pain each day but never learned from it? And what good would it be if we coasted through life without experiencing joy along with sorrow? There can be no depth of personality or depth of character if our lives have been perfect. Experience etches our hearts and souls, gives us depth, and deepens the horizon of our days. No individual has lived a life completely without pain, without sorrow. We can move beyond our pain and sorrow to grow in new directions. I can accept the lessons I am learning of tolerance to living a less-than-perfect life. These lessons help me grow. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FEELINGS ~ We honor ourselves and our friends when we can tell them how we feel. Theodore Isaac Rubin I always felt that if I didn't rob a bank or tell a lie that I was being honest. But when I began working the Twelve Steps, I learned what honesty really meant. Expressing my negative thoughts and feelings in the fast-moving world I found myself caused problems ... or I imagined it would. Therefore, I tried to pretend everything was wonderful and right and perfect. One of the great blessings of my life is to know that I can now "feel" my emotions, express them to others who understand and somehow always feel better for having done so. Of course, I am still selective in choosing to whom I express my deepest feelings, but I do not pretend anymore that things are right when they're wrong. I do not gloss over bad things and make them good. One day at a time... I feel my feelings and express them honestly, knowing that they're neither right nor wrong ... and I rejoice at the feeling of freedom I experience when I allow my emotions to flow from me. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. - Pg. 145 - To Employers Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Living life on life's terms,' just what does this mean to us? It doesn't mean we will get a brownie button for every day we stay abstinent. It simply means life can be tough and we can still stay sober if we chose to live by principle. Help me live life on life's terms by accepting the good along with bad realizing that 'realities' are not good excuses to use mind-affecting chemicals. My Feelings Have Force Today, even though I am feeling out of sorts I will take responsibility for what I am putting out to others. Am I appreciating the efforts people are making for me. Am I looking into and beyond their faces as they are looking into mine. Am I giving them half a chance to help me and am I giving myself half a chance to be helped? As I move through the experiences of my day, I will try to remain conscious of others efforts and well as my own. I will appreciate what is being done for me. I let good in - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Life begins right outside your comfort zone. Start changing. If I fail to change the person I was when I came in, that person will take me out! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Prayers that get answered are Prayers with feet. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I trust all that comes up for me today. I now know there is no value in hiding the truth from myself. I choose today to know everything about me and I am excited about this new adventure. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Serenity is being able to stand still and sit amidst the storms and conflicts of life - And we're going to have plenty. If we're not having storms and conflicts, we're not living. - Kate B. ( Quoting Fr. Barney. ) |
March 9
Daily Reflections SURRENDERING SELF-WILL Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 34 No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can one turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for the answer to this question, I became aware of the wisdom with which it was written: that this is a two-part Step. I could see many times where I should have died, or at least been injured, during my previous style of living, and it never happened. Someone, or something, was looking after me. I choose to believe my life has always been in God's care. He alone controls the number of days I will be granted until physical death. The matter of will (self-will or God's will) is the more difficult part of the Step for me. It is only when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God's will for my life. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line with God's will for me, there is peace within. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day If we had absolute faith in the power of God to keep us from drinking and if we turned our drink problem entirely over to God without reservations, we wouldn't have to do anything more about it. We'd be free from drink once and for all. But since our faith is apt to be weak, we have to strengthen and build up this faith. We do this in several ways. One way is by going to meetings and listening to others tell how they have found all the strength they need to overcome drink. Is my faith being strengthened by this personal witness of other alcoholics? Meditation For The Day It is the quality of my life that determines its value. In order to judge the value of a man's life, we must set up a standard. The most valuable life is one of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. All men's lives must be judged by this standard in order to determine their value to the world. By this standard, most of the so-called heroes of history were not great men. "What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, if he loseth his own soul?" Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be honest, pure, unselfish and loving. I pray that I may make the quality of my life good by these standards. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Renew Your Effort, p. 68 "Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please do not worry about a temporary loss of your inner peace. As calmly as you can, just renew your effort in the A.A. program, especially those parts of it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis. "Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is? Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine. But guilt--no. "Indeed, the slip could well have been brought about by unreasonable feelings of guilt because of other moral failures, so called. Surely, you ought to look into this possibility. Even here you should not blame yourself for failure; you can be penalized only for refusing to try for better things." Letter, 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places The Best outcome is just and equitable. Principle over personality. Looking ahead to this day, I may face a possible conflict with another person over a certain issue. How should I respond to this? If I'm to follow my principles, I should hold to the idea of seeking the best outcome for everybody concerned. It may be very harmful to look at these conflicts as a case of winning or losing. If I seem to win when I'm wrong, I will lose in the long run. If I seem to lose even when I'm right, I can know that there's just resolution of everything in time. I will always win, however, if I keep my thinking straight and take care to avoid resentment and bitterness. It's not surprising that the world is beset by conflicts. Millions of people have conditioned themselves to selfish ways of thinking and behaving that are bound to cause such conflicts. Much harm is done by people who are absolutely sure they are right at all times. As human beings, we cannot expect to be excluded from these conflicts simply because we have a Twelve Step program. We do, however, have a means of dealing with such conflicts effectively when we respond according to principle. This makes us privileged people in a way, but it is good to know that any person can have the same privileges by following the right principles. Unpleasant as any conflict may seem, it does give me an opportunity to learn and to grow. I will seek to benefit from any such conflict today. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.---Irish Proverb Each of us has been given recovery. Now it's up to each of us what we do with it. At times, we'll work hard to grow quickly. At other times, our growth will be slower. This is okay. We're not in a race. Our pace is not important. What is important is that we're always working on our recovery. We're all part of a fellowship, a caring group. We're one of many. But we're each important. Each of us will have a special way to work our programs through our readings, friends, meetings, and what we know of how life works. each of us puts together a miracle of recovery. We than take our miracle and share it with others, so they can build their miracle. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me work at growing. Help me be a person who is an important part of a group. Action for the Day: Today, I'll work at seeing myself as very important. I'll remind myself that other's recovery also depends on my recovery. I am needed. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I want to get you excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now. --Virginia Satir Deciding to recover was our first step. That decision meant we did want to go beyond where we were. We did want something better for ourselves. And at times, in fleeting moments, we have been excited about who we are and our prospects for a better life. The excitement and the inspiration come and go; they are seldom stationary. We can actively create the excitement and the inspiration. We need not wait for them to come to us. That's one of the choices we have as human beings, as women. Passively waiting for "the good life" is past behavior. Each day, this day, we can set our sights on reaching a goal--we can take a step, or two, toward that goal. Progress is there for the making--achievement is there for the taking. Whatever our hearts' pure desires, we can move toward that goal. We are what we need to be. We have what we need to move ahead. Today, I will let my excitement for life's possibilities spur me on. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. p. 43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. After a particular bad Christmas and New Year's holiday, Dad picked me up again early in January 0937 to go through the usual sobering up routine. This consisted of walking the floor for three or four days and nights until I could take nourishment. This time he had a suggestion to offer. He waited until I was completely sober, and on the day before I was to head back for Chicago, he told me of a small group of men in Akron who apparently had the same problem that I had but were doing something about it. He said they were sober, happy, and had their self-respect back, as well as the respect of their neighbors. He mentioned two of them who I had known through the years and suggested that I talk with them. But I had my health back, and besides, I reasoned, they were much worse than I would ever be. Why, even a year ago I had seen Howard, an ex-doctor, mooching a dime for a drink. I could not possibly be that bad. I would at least have asked for a quarter! So I told Dad that I would lick it on my own, that I would drink nothing for a month and after that only beer. p. 260 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." You might think A.A.'s headquarters in New York would be an exception. Surely, the people there would have to have some authority. But long ago, trustees and staff members alike found they could do no more than make suggestions, and very mild ones at that. They even had to coin a couple of sentences which still go into half the letters they write: "Of course, you are at perfect liberty to handle this matter any way you please. But the majority experience in A.A. does seem to suggest . . . " Now, that attitude is far removed from central government, isn't it? We recognize that alcoholics can't be dictated to--individually or collectively. pp. 173-174 ************************************************** ********* Speaking without thinking is shooting without aiming. --French Proverb Help your brother across the stream and you'll find yourself on the other side. "You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him." --Leo Aikman Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. --Leo Buscaglia Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody's heart. --Anthony J. D'Angelo Make the most of your life by choosing to enjoy everything you do. God, help me open my heart to the full potential of every moment in my life. --Melody Beattie "We aren't bodies at all; who we are is the love inside us, and it is that love alone that determines our value. When our minds are filled with light, there is no room for darkness." --Marianne Williamson Whether our sins are known or not, God offers us forgiveness. --Charles P. Axe ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GREED "Not he who has little, but he who wishes more, is poor." -- Seneca (4 B. C. -- A. D. 65) In my recovery I must still deal with that compulsive side of my nature that always wants more. I forget to be grateful for what I have. I ruin relationships because I have a code of behavior that I expect from others but not myself! I miss the fun of the moment because I am preoccupied with what I am missing elsewhere. I miss the comfort of my own home as I fantasize about country mansions owned by millionaires. Always I want more --- and yet in my own experience more has always been less. Today I work hard on a spiritual program of gratitude. I have a checklist of things I need to be grateful for; I work on my disease of greed by talking about it. Thank You for that part of me that must remain "poor". ************************************************** ********* "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted to the earth!" Psalms 46:10 God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. 1 John 1:5 Accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. Romans 15:7 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We all need time for ourselves and time to be with our friends in order to be joyful. Lord, help me to balance my day and renew my spirit. Keep yourself young in spirit always by thinking new thoughts and getting rid of old habits. Lord, may my spirit never become frail and my abilities never become barren. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Small Things "In the past, we made simple situations into problems; we made mountains out of molehills." Basic Text, p. 87 Making mountains out of molehills seems to be our specialty. Have you heard it said that to an addict, a flat tire is a traumatic event? Or how about those of us who forget all pretense of principle when confronted with a bad driver? And what about that can opener that won't work—you know, the one you just threw out the second story window? We can relate when we hear others share, "God, grant me patience right now!" No, it's not the major setbacks that drive us to distraction. The big things—divorce, death, serious illness, the loss of a job—will throw us, but we survive them. We've learned from experience that we must reach out to our Higher Power and others to make it through life's major crises. It's the small things, the constant day-to-day challenges of living life without the use of drugs, that seem to affect most addicts most strongly in recovery. When the little things get to us, the Serenity Prayer can help us regain our perspective. We can all remember that "turning over" these small matters to the care of our Higher Power results in peace of mind and a refreshed perspective on life. Just for today: I will work on patience. I will try to keep from blowing things out of proportion, and walk with my Higher Power through my day. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start. --Charles Baudelaire A big assignment can be scary to face. We may start to think that how we do on the assignment will determine if we're good or bad people. The more we think about it, the harder that task seems. The key to overcoming our negative feelings is to say to ourselves that we are capable of finishing our projects. We must say it over and over until we start believing it's true. Then we can attack the assignment with vitality and positive energy we didn't know we had. We can make up our minds to do our best and accept that from ourselves. We say Edison was a genius, but our light bulbs still burn out regularly. Even Einstein was wrong once in a while, and he knew it, but that didn't stop him from trying. When we feel afraid to start something because it seems too big a job, let's stop and think what the first step would be, and do each small step in its own time. What can I start that I've been putting off? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own shin. --Andre Berthiaume The masks men wear are as varied as those who wear them, but their purpose is quite simple. We wear masks to hide our real faces from those around us and even from ourselves. There are seductive masks, innocent masks, white knight masks, tough guy masks, black sheep masks, lone wolf masks, and many more. Sometimes we want to take on another identity so others won't see our insecurities. Or we think taking the form of someone else will give us power over others, or they will like us better, or we can escape ourselves. The cost of wearing a mask is not getting a chance to develop our real personalities. What masks are we attached to? Are we willing to give them up in the interest of our spiritual growth? May I have the courage to drop my phony masks in order to grow stronger in self knowledge. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Taking Care of Ourselves We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another persons feelings. Its impossible; the two acts contradict. What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries! Its good to care about other people and their feelings; its essential to care about ourselves too. Sometimes, to take good care of ourselves, we need to make a choice. Some of us live with a deeply ingrained message from our family, or from church, about never hurting other peoples feelings. We can replace that message with a new one; one that says its not okay to hurt ourselves. Sometimes, when we take care of ourselves, others will react with hurt feelings. That's okay. We will learn, grow, and benefit by the experience; they will too. The most powerful and positive impact we can have on other people is accomplished by taking responsibility for ourselves, and allows others to be responsible for themselves. Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two. Today, I will set the limits I need to set. I will let go of my need to take care of other peoples feelings and instead take care of my own. I will give myself permission to take care of myself, knowing its the best thing I can do for others and myself. Today I know that I am in charge of the quality of my life. I am growing in the ability to become aware of the thoughts that have been controlling me. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Let Your Visions Guide You Visions are different from dreams. A vision is a picture that comes from the soul and comes out through the heart. A vision is a small glimpse of light that shines and shows us our path. It is a quick flash of something that hasn’t happened yet. It may tell us something about today or ten years from now. Visions occur when our souls look at the map for our lives, get a sense of where we’re going, and tell our hearts how to find that place. The more conscious and clear and direct we are, the more we can tune into and help create the highest vision for our lives. What do you want? What would feel right? What do you see yourself doing? Be clear and concise, then let it go. Sometimes when we run out of dreams, we have to rely on our visions, these small glimpses of light, to lead the way. Learn to see the visions in your heart. Learn to trust them. Learn to help create them. Allow them to manifest themselves. When the path is dark, learn to be comfortable with these small bursts of light. Let your visions guide you home. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Know your limits While it’s good to be compassionate, we can become overly compassionate,too. Don’t work so hard at not judging other people that you forget to pay attention to what you don’t like. “I know what it feels like to be abandoned and left. I don’t like the feeling, so I’m not going to leave my boyfriend,” Clara says. She’s living with a man who abuses her, emotionally and physically. “I’m not going to judge her,” Ralph says about his new wife. She’s using cocaine and stealing money from him to get high. “She’s had a hard life, and I haven’t walked in her shoes.” “I need to be compassionate and nonjudgemental with my son,” Robert says about a child who’s driving him to distraction with his manipulations and lies. “He’s had a hard life. His mother died when he was three. And I’m the only person he’s got left.” You can set boundaries with someone, without judging that person. You can decide that behaviors are inappropriate and hurt you, without condemning that person. Don’t forget, you have a right to say “ouch.” We can say whatever with compassion and still take care of ourselves. God, help me set appropriate limits with the people in my life. ****************************************** Capturing Life’s Flavor Taking a Field Trip When we were children, few words were more exciting to hear than the phrase "field trip." Field trips were a break from schoolwork and an opportunity to go on an adventure with friends. Now that we are grown ups, taking a field trip can be just as fun and memorable – if only we were willing to sign our own permission slips so we could go on one. Allowing yourself to get stuck in your routine can make life seem boring. Adding a touch of variety to your life in the form of a field trip can break up the monotony of your days and lead you to adventure. Unlike the jaunts that were regulated by teachers or monitored by parents, taking a field trip as an adult can lead you anywhere you want. You can go on a daylong retreat or spend just a few hours at your destination. A field trip can be an opportunity to explore a new landscape or discover something about yourself. Taking a day trip to another town or visiting an unfamiliar spot in your neighborhood can be educational and fun. There is also much to be said for finding a beautiful spot under a tree where you can read a book. You can even go to one of your favorite spots and allow yourself to experience it as if you were visiting there for the first time. Going on a field trip is as much a state of mind as it is a change in the scenery. During a “grown up” field trip, schedules, clocks, and duties are put aside so you can focus wholeheartedly on mindfully enjoying yourself. Planning a field trip can be almost as fun as going on one. A field trip is an excursion to look forward to and an experience to be savored after the fact. Wherever you decide to go and whatever you decide to do, going on a field trip can add much pleasure and excitement to your life. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We learn in The Program and its Twelve Steps that as we grow spiritually, we find that our old attitudes toward our instinctual drives need to undergo drastic revisions. Our demands for emotional security and wealth,for personal prestige and power, all have to be tempered and redirected. We learn that the full satisfaction of these demands cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives. But when we’re willing to place spiritual growth first — then and only then do we have a real chance to grow in healthy awareness and mature love. Am I willing to place spiritual growth first? Today I Pray May my development as a spiritual person temper my habitual hankerings for materil security. May I understand that the only real security in life is spiritual. If I have faith in my Higher Power, these revisions in my attitudes will follow. May I grow first in spiritual awareness. Today I Will Remember Value the life of the spirit. ****************************************** One More Day Don’t waste today regretting yesterday instead of making a memory for tomorrow. – Laura Palmer Our youthful dreams were filled with grand expectations of our impact on the world. Some of those goals were reached; many were not. Now, it’s easier to accept that not all our plans will come to pass. In accepting that, we are able to set new goals that better reflect our dreams and ideals today. For a while it may seem as though we are “just surviving,” but we can have more. At our stage of life we are capable of making mature decisions, of setting more realistic goals. Each day we can reflect upon our accomplishments and upon the joy of family, friends, and job. Finally, we can feel comfortable with ourselves, and we can look forward to our tomorrows. Yesterday is gone and unchangeable, but today is real and is mine to use. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER ~ "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." Frank Herbert, Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune Recently in our meeting room we had a new ‘member’. He was HUGE – well, we thought so, but who are we to judge? He was hairy, well maybe we’re not perfect...He strode into the room like he owned the place. Well certainly he had as much right to be there as we all did. We shrieked. Maybe it was those 8 hairy legs, maybe it’s because he ran towards us like a streak of lightening, who knows. Whatever he must have thought watching us giants leaping around the room we can only guess. He certainly seemed far more scared of us than we of him. It got me thinking of the insanity of some fears. After all what could this fragile little hairy thing do to me? He didn’t have 8 giant slippers to hit ME on the head. I was the one with the power, yet, through my fear I was giving HIM the power he really didn’t have. Instead of using the Power to give myself more confidence and behave rationally, I was wasting it away, GIVING it away. So many times I seem to repeat this same pattern. Of course some fears are rational, but most aren’t. This program gives ME the freedom to ask my Higher Power to take away my shortcomings. To relax and step back and make a fresh start. I need never be afraid again of irrational things, not if I truly work the program. Itsy Bitsy Spider scuttled out of the meeting in rather a hurry that night. Was he trying to avoid participating in the 7th Tradition? Or did he have a genuine rational fear? Maybe he was quite simply restored to sanity. One Day at a Time . . . I will not be afraid ... I will not empower anything to cause me to be fearful. ~ Marlene ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. - Pg. 133 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Now is the time to get into action and into the solution and stop being a part of your problem! Do this by remembering your last high, your last run, your last hopeless desperation. Then share that story with the next person you see and tell them how it led you to this new path of sobriety. Show me the next person I am to share my story with. Giving My Body a Voice Today I will write in my journal as a part of my body. I might say something like, 'I am your back and I want to cry. I am tired o being silent and this is what I want you to hear. Or maybe I'll say, 'as your stomach I want to rebel. I want to relax, and let go of all this'..'Or I am your legs and I wish you appreciated me. I carry you all around the world but you are constantly wishing I were different.' I will let my body parts have a voice and scribble their thoughts onto paper them I will read what they have said to me and wonder about what they have told me. I will put pen to paper - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If you are not happy with what you have, what makes you think you would be happy with more? Happiness is not having what I want but wanting what I have. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you meet more than three assholes in one day, you need a meeting. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I know that I am in charge of the quality of my life. I am growing in the ability to become aware of the thoughts that have been controlling me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote God washed my eyes with tears until I could finally see. - Anon. |
March 10
Daily Reflections TODAY, IT'S MY CHOICE . . . we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.62 With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action--or inaction--whatever the consequences may be. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We also strengthen our faith by working with other alcoholics and finding that we can do nothing ourselves to help them, except to tell them our own story of how we found the way out. If the person is helped, it's by the grace of God and not by what we do or say. Our own faith is strengthened when we see another alcoholic find sobriety by turning to God. And finally we strengthen our faith by having quiet times every morning. Do I ask God in this quiet time for the strength to stay sober this day? Meditation For The Day My five senses are my means of communication with the material world. They are the links between my physical life and the material manifestations around me. But I must sever all connections with the material world when I wish to hold communion with the Great Spirit of the universe. I have to hush my mind and bid all my senses be still, before I can become attuned to receive the music of the heavenly spheres. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may get my spirit in tune with the Spirit of the universe. I pray that through faith and communion with Him I may receive the strength I need. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Giving Without Demand, p. 69 Watch any A.A. of six months working with a Twelfth Step prospect. If the newcomer says, "To the devil with you," the twelfth-stepper only smiles and finds another alcoholic to help. He doesn't feel frustrated or rejected. If his next drunk responds, and in turn starts to give love and attention to other sufferers, yet gives none back to him, the sponsor is happy about it anyway. He still doesn't feel rejected; instead he rejoices that his former prospect is sober and happy. And he well knows that his own life has been made richer, as an extra dividend of giving to another without any demand for a return. Grapevine, January 1958 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Ousting the Green Demon___Victory over Jealousy. We hear of successful people who drop their old friends after moving up the ladder. Maybe, however, it wasn't their choice. Maybe they were driven to do so because their friend's jealousy made the friendship unworkable. We have little trouble accepting a stranger's good fortune; it's a different feeling, however, when friends and co-workers move ahead of us. If the green demon of jealousy strikes during the day, we can come to terms with it in several ways. First, accept no guilt that it happens, because jealousy is part of the human condition. Next, depersonalize it by remembering that good fortune comes to all people in various ways. Then check your own gratitude level to make sure that it hasn't been sinking. This serves as a reminder that there's no shortage of the things that really make for happiness and personal well-being in life. We can easily tell when we've been able to oust the green demon. We'll be able to be relaxed and gracious while extending congratulations for another person's good fortune. And months down the road, we'll be genuinely sympathetic…. Not vindictive… if the other person's luck turns sour. While I don't expect to feel jealousy today, I accept the fact that it can happen. Should it appear, I'll work calmly to deal with it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Little things affect little minds.---Benjamin Disraeli Before recovery, we liked things our way. We thought every new thing we tired should go right the first time. Little problems could really upset us. We let little things spoil our day. We let little things affect big things---our entire lives. And our bad moods affected people around us. Funny how we have fewer of those problems now. The program is teaching us to let go. What a relief when we know we don't have to control every little thing. How nice when things get done without our "expert advice"! We are starting to see what's really important, and what's not. One promise of the program is coming true: we know how to handle situations better. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see what is really important for me today. Help me to stop worrying about what's not. Action for the Day: When I'm upset, I'll ask myself, Is this problem really so bad? If I can't change it. I'll let go. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning It is healthier to see the good points of others than to analyze our own bad ones. --Francoise Sagan Looking for the good in others is good for one's soul. Self-respect, self-love grows each time we openly acknowledge another's admirable qualities. Comparisons we make of ourselves with others, focusing on how we fail to measure up (another woman is prettier, thinner, more intelligent, has a better sense of humor, attracts people, and on and on) is a common experience. And we come away from the comparison feeling generally inadequate and unloving toward the other woman. It is a spiritual truth that our love for and praise of others will improve our own self-image. It will rub off on us, so-to-speak. An improved self-image diminishes whatever bad qualities one has imagined. Praise softens. Criticism hardens. We can become all that we want to become. We can draw the love of others to us as we more willingly offer love and praise. We have an opportunity to help one another as we help ourselves grow in the self-love that is so necessary to the successful living of each day. I will see the good points in others today. And I will give praise. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS IN THE PRECEDING chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. Several months later Dad was back in Chicago to pick me up again, but this time my attitude was entirely different. I could not wait to tell him that I wanted help, that if these men in Akron had anything, I wanted it and would do anything to get it. I was completely licked by alcohol. pp. 260-261 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." At this juncture, we can hear a churchman exclaim, "They are making disobedience a virtue!" He is joined by a psychiatrist who says, "Defiant brats! They won't grow up and conform to social usage!" The man in the street say, "I don't understand it. They must be nuts!" But all these observers have overlooked something unique in Alcoholics Anonymous. Unless each A.A. member follows to the best of his ability our suggested Twelve Steps to recovery, he almost certainly signs his own death warrant. His drunkenness and dissolution are not penalties inflicted by people in authority; they result from his personal disobedience to spiritual principles. p. 174 ************************************************** ********* We are prisoners of our own resentments. Forgiveness unlocks the door and sets us free. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. --Will Rogers H E A R T = Healing, Enjoying, And Recovering, Together. "The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." --Sydney J. Harris "The time is always right to do what is right." --Martin Luther King, Jr. A smile is your most magnetic and attractive characteristic. Wear one today and see how many people it draws to you. My doubts and fears, will drive me back into the wilderness. I must trust God. When God calls, God makes a way. --Lynn Sloan Barnes ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SCIENCE "We have to live today by what truth we can get today and be ready tomorrow to call it falsehood." -- William James To change is to be imperfect and to be imperfect is to be wrong --- at times! As an alcoholic I have a problem with ego; always wanting to be right, hating to say, "I am sorry", not wishing to appear out of control. In sobriety I must wrestle with my ego on a daily basis. However, although I find it difficult to accept that I am imperfect, I know that I am! I know that I need to make amends. I know that I produce most of the pain in my life. Today's facts are stepping stones to tomorrow's falsehoods --- and I grow with this knowledge. Spirituality is growing in the knowledge that I do not have all the answers. Let me experience joy and growth in the dilemmas of life. ************************************************** ********* "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act." Psalm 37:4-5 Accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. Romans 15:7 For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Proverbs 2 : 10 "And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers." Ephesians 4:11 Commit your way to the Lord; trusting Him, and He will act. Psalm 37:5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Home is a place where we can have a bit of heaven on earth. Lord, bless our home and help make it a place of love and kindness. It is you, not where you are or what you have, that makes the difference. Lord, may I always blossom where I am planted. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Our Own Recovery "The steps are our solution. They are our survival kit They are our defense against addiction, a deadly disease. Our steps are the principles that make our recovery possible." Basic Text, p. 19 There's lots to like in Narcotics Anonymous. The meetings, for one, are great. We get to see our friends, hear some inspiring stories, share some practical experience, maybe even hook up with our sponsor. The campouts, the conventions, the dances are all wonderful, clean fun in the company of other recovering addicts. But the heart of our recovery program is the Twelve Steps—in fact, they are the program! We've heard it said that we can't stay clean by osmosis—in other words, we can't just attend meetings, no matter how many, and expect to breathe recovery in through the pores of our skin. Recovery, as another saying goes, is an inside job. And the tools we use in working that "inside job" are the Twelve Steps. Hearing endlessly about acceptance is one thing; working the First Step for ourselves is something very different. Stories about making amends may be inspiring, yet nothing will give us the freedom from remorse that taking the Ninth Step ourselves will give. The same applies to all twelve steps. There's much to appreciate about NA, but to get the most from our recovery we must work the Twelve Steps for ourselves. Just for today: I want everything my personal program has to offer. I will work the steps for myself. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The older you get the more you realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness. --Lionel Barrymore Once in a while, we forget about the kind things people have done for us. Do we remember the next-door neighbor who helped us get our kite out of a tree, or the brother who helped us finish a project for school? If we think about these kindnesses, we will remember how happy we were to receive them. These people and others may need a kindness we can give. Our next-door neighbor may get sick and need us to go to the store, a brother or sister may need to borrow a radio, or the elderly person down the street may need the lawn mowed. Whenever we take the time to give a kindness, we will find that like the boomerang, it returns to us in the form of happiness. Will I be alert to my chances to give kindness today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. --Helen Keller The human race is a huge mixture of dignity and degradation and every man inherits the blend. We can respect the slave in us for his endurance and suffering. And the king in us earns our respect for his leadership and justice. Are we ashamed of who we are or where we have come from? Then we may have to look deeper and ask if we are really different from any other man. Do we believe we must conform to some mold of acceptability, some proper appearance? Are we so focused on the surface that we miss the deeper values of our humanness? Sometimes we take on a reverse smugness and become judgmental of the person who looks successful or speaks well. We think, "I can't like him, he's in a different class." We all need acceptance and respect, and in this program we are equals from the first day. God, grant me the self esteem to accept the whole mixture that comes together in me and in the people around me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Living with Families I was forty-six years old before I finally admitted to myself and someone else that my grandfather always managed to make me feel guilty, angry, and controlled. --Anonymous We may love and care about our family very much. Family members may love and care about us. But interacting with some members may be a real trigger to our codependency - sometimes to a deep abyss of shame, rage, anger, guilt, and helplessness. It can be difficult to achieve detachment, or an emotional level, with certain family members. It can be difficult to separate their issues from ours. It can be difficult to own our power. Difficult, but not impossible. The first step is awareness and acceptance - simple acknowledgment, without guilt, of our feelings and thoughts. We do not have to blame our family members. We do not have to blame or shame ourselves. Acceptance is the goal - acceptance and freedom to choose what we want and need to do to take care of ourselves with that person. We can become free of the patterns of the past. We are recovering. Progress is the goal. Today, Higher Power, help me be patient with myself as I learn how to apply recovery behaviors with family members. Help me strive today for awareness and acceptance. I am open and willing to take a step forward in a new direction. I am no longer allowing myself to stay stuck by old thoughts and feelings. This new place is exciting and energizing. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Beware of Gossip Gossip is a seductive pastime that can be harmful to others, harmful to ourselves. Some gossip is innocent.We chatter about the experiences of others lightly, joyfully, in a way that doesn’t hurt. Other gossip isn’t so innocent. It’s rooted in anger, jealousy, betrayal, and sometimes hatred. We feel deprived and cheated– hurt-so we want to hurt another. Would you stand and throw darts at someone? Would you pick up a knife and stab that person in the back? I think not. Yet, when we gossip, we do the same thing. Words, especially those coated with emotion, carry energy, sometimes potentially damaging energy. When we hurt another, we hurt ourselves. Both are injured. We need to deal with our feelings of anger, hurt, betrayal, or jealousy before they wound through gossip. While walking this journey, you must learn of the dangers. Gossip is one of them. Heal the feelings underneath so you can speak lightly with words of love. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let it be Life is a series of letting go’s– an “infinite” series of letting go’s. All things in life are given us on loan. Stand face-to-face with life, learn to let go, and whatever comes our way– success or failure, joy or sorrow, support or betrayal, light or darkness– it all blesses us. Once we have learned to let go, we are prepared for whatever life gives us. And death itself is nothing to be feared. –Matthew Fox For many years, I resisted the concept of letting go. I resisted mostly because I didn’t understand what people were talking about. I’d be loudly obsessing about something. “Just let go,” they’d say. “Okay,” I’d say. Then I’d walk away and wonder what they meant, and mostly how to do it. Soon, I caught on. If I didn’t want people harping on me about letting go, I needed to obsess silently. Privately. Or at least in the presence of someone who wouldn’t lecture me about letting go. As the years wore on, I was forced into letting go. Eventually I even wrote a book called The Language of Letting go. I thought it was the end of my need to practice letting go. When my son died, I learned that writing the book was only a prelude, an introductory course in letting go. Over the years that followed, I gradually began to learn a new respect for this behavior called letting go. Letting go is a behavior we can practice each day, whatever the circumstances in our lives. It’s a behavior that benefits relationships we want to work. It’s a helpful behavior in insane relationships, too. It’s a useful tool to use when we really want to bring something or someone into our lives, and in accomplishing our goals. It’s a helpful tool to use on outdated behaviors such as low self-esteem and manipulation. Letting go takes the emotional charge, the drama, out of things and restores us to a sense of balance, peace, and spiritual power. Letting go works well on the past and the future. It brings us into today. Paraphrasing the mystic writer Matthew Fox, everything that comes, comes to pass. Denystify letting go. It’s not as complicated as it sounds. Learning the art of letting go really means learning to calmly let things be. God, help me learn to let go. ****************************************** You Deserve To Have Your Dreams Come True Personal Power Many of us have do not understand what personal power means. We have been given the false notion that power is bad—that it is something we use to exert our will upon others. In fact, when our personal power is intact, we are neither overbearing nor meek. We have a clear sense of our strength and the impact we can have on others. This actually enables us to be more sensitive. Personal power is what permits us to work on behalf of our dreams and desires. It allows us to realize that we are worthy and deserve to be heard. In addition, our personal power lets us extend the respect we know that we deserve to the people around us. There is no reason to be afraid or ashamed of fully owning your power. In the chakra system, the solar plexus is the seat of personal power. One way to evaluate your sense of power is to breathe into this part of the body. If it feels tight or nervous, it is an indication that you may not be fully expressing your power. You can heal this imbalance by expanding the area of the solar plexus with your breath. You can also visualize a bright yellow sun in this part of your body. Allow its heat to melt any tension, and let its light dissolve any darkness or heaviness. Repeating this exercise on a regular basis can restore and rejuvenate your sense of power. Another way to nurture your personal power is to honor your dreams and desires by making concrete plans to manifest them in the world. Start by making a list of things you want, and let yourself think big. Choose one goal from the list and commit to bringing it to fruition. In addition, break the goal into tasks that you can work on each day. Know that you deserve to have your dreams come true and that you have the power to bring them into being. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day In a letter to a friend, AA’s co-founder Bill W. once wrote, “Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging an d abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped-for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left alone — either to grow up or to disintegrate.” We discover, in The Program, that the best possible source of emotional stability is our Higher Power. We find that dependence upon His Perfect justice, forgiveness and love is healthy, and that it works where nothing else will. Do I depend on my Higher Power? Today I Pray May I realize that I am a dependent person. I have depended upon chemicals to alter my moods and attitudes. I have also developed parasitic attachments for others. May I stop making unrealistic emotional demands on others, which only serve to choke off mature human relationships and to leave me bewildered and let down. Only God can provide the kind of whole-heated love which I, as a dependent person, seem to need. May I depend first upon God. Today I Will Remember God offers perfect love. ****************************************** One More Day You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him find it within Himself. – Galileo We can’t avoid the crises, large or small, that are a normal part of living. Automobile accidents, spending more money that we can afford, stubbed toes, rain on vacations — these things happen to everyone. No one is exempt. But we can learn from our negative experiences. We learn to be more careful, to hold our tongues, to be more responsible. No one can teach us how to live. We have to learn by ourselves. And eventually we’re better able to handle our own problems, sometimes even with grace and finesse. We can share what we have learned with others, we can help pave the way for them, but invariably they too will have to do it for themselves. Life hands me situations. I have the ability to make them into positive experiences. ***************************************** One Day At A Time THE WHOLE PICTURE “It should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture.” Big Book Alcoholics of Anonymous; Page 143 Looking around a gallery recently my friend and I were looking at a mosaic picture. We pondered on what we thought of it, and each of us had our own ideas. Then as we chatted a thought popped into my head. Now this doesn’t happen often, so make the most of it. The mosaic, of course, is made up of lots of tiny tiles, each one seemingly insignificant on it’s own. In fact if you found one in the street, you probably wouldn’t look at it twice, never mind pick it up. Yet together with all the other tiny tiles, pieced together it forms an unusual and beautiful work of art. I don’t expect that all of the tiles are perfect, but together they are whole. Together they appear to be as one in unison with each other. Then came the second thought (yes, two in one day). Some days for me are pretty awful. I feel sick, or saddened. I turn on the TV and the news is all depressing stuff, and I think, where is HP while all this is happening? A few years ago, I lost my baby and nearly my own life. Where was my HP then? Losing my nephew at age 8 a few years later, I really doubted that any God of anyone’s understanding could help me with a weight problem. But today I see the wonderful days, the glowing wonderful comforting days that make life worthwhile. Who am I to say that this life I’m living is good or bad? Only HP has the ‘whole mosaic’ picture of Life. Not just my life, but my life touching another life. The events happening in the world – again, only HP sees the whole picture. He has the lid of the jigsaw puzzle with the main picture on it; we only have one piece, just like the tile. After I lost the baby, HP helped the surgeons to heal me. I certainly didn’t feel worthy; in fact I felt at the time that I wasn’t even good enough to die. Yet HP has stuck by me and has given me so much. I doubt I’ll ever know whose life or lives I may have touched as a result of me being saved, but it doesn’t matter. HP knows. HP cares. One Day at a Time . . . I must remember that you and I are one in the eyes of our Creator. Not one of us is less than, or more than each other. Together we are one. Together we watch HP work miracles in our lives. Together, we are perfect as long as we are under HP’s direction. Mind boggling isn’t it? ~ Marlene ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. - Pg. 8 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Where you're at and where you're going are up to you. But if you want some peace in your spirit and freedom from the obsession to use, you are in the right place to begin. I know that there are no guarantees, but thank You for bringing me this far. Giving Today I give with both hands. Giving for its own sake is the spiritual way and actually releases the gift. When I give with one hand and take with the other, I give only half of what I have and receive only half of what might be given to me. I limit myself intwo ways. Somehow the universe responds to clear intention. When I fully release a gift, it goes to where it is supposed to go and what returns to me comes when and how it is right. I am able to give with both hands - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote One way to tell how well you are practicing the principles in all your affairs is to notice how you treat people who can be of no service to you. I go out of my way to be kind to the very next person I encounter, regardless of what they can or cannot do for me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you treat people badly today, you get to reap the benefits tomorrow. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I am open and willing to take a step forward in a new direction. I am no longer allowing myself to stay stuck by old thoughts and feelings. This new place is exciting and energizing. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'd drink to get relaxed but by the time I got relaxed enough I was unconscious - Dave. |
March 11
Daily Reflections GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us. To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 40 All I have to do is look back at my past to see where self-will has led me. I just don't know what's best for me and I believe my Higher Power does. G.O.D., which I define as "Good Orderly Direction," has never let me down, but I have let myself down quite often. Using my self-will in a situation usually has the same result as forcing the wrong piece into a jigsaw puzzle--exhaustion and frustration. Step Three opens the door to the rest of the program. When I ask God for guidance I know that whatever happens is the best possible situation, things are exactly as they are supposed to be, even if they aren't what I want or expect. God does for me what I cannot do for myself, if I let Him. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day By having quiet times each morning, we come to depend on God's help during the day, especially if we should be tempted to take a drink. And we can honestly thank Him each night for the strength He has given us. So our faith is strengthened by these quiet times of prayer. By listening to other members, by working with other alcoholics, by times of quiet meditation, our faith in God gradually becomes strong. Have I turned my drink problem entirely over to God, without reservations? Meditation For The Day It seems as though, when God wants to express to men what He is like, He makes a very beautiful character. Think of a personality as God's expression of character attributes. Be as fit an expression of Godlike character as you can. When the beauty of a person's character is impressed upon us, it leaves an image which in turn reflects through our own actions. So look for beauty of character in those around you. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may look at great beauty of souls until their beauty of character becomes a part of my soul. I pray that I may reflect this character in my own life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Truth, the Liberator, p. 70 How truth makes us free is something that we A.A.'s can well understand. It cut the shackles that once bound us to alcohol. It continues to release us from conflicts and miseries beyond reckoning; it banishes fear and isolation. The unity of our Fellowship, the love we cherish for each other, the esteem in which the world holds us--all of these are products of the truth which, under God, we have been privileged to perceive. << << << >> >> >> Just how and when we tell the truth--or keep silent--can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all. Step Nine emphatically cautions us against misusing the truth when it states: "We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." Because it points up the fact that the truth can be used to injure as well as to heal, this valuable principle certainly has a wide-ranging application to the problem of developing integrity. Grapevine, August 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Living with Bad Vibes____Human Relations Some of us are sensitive to the feelings we pick up from people in the immediate environment. The feelings we sense from the people around us can be as powerful as odors and sounds. We can feel tense in the presence of domineering people, and we can be uncomfortable around people who seem resentful. Acceptance and knowledge help us retain mastery of ourselves in these situations. But we don't have to tune in to another person's bad feelings, just as we wouldn't tune in to a radio station whose music bothers us. We can also detach from the situation in thought, just as Al-Anon trained spouses detach from alcoholics in a spirit of love and understanding. The less we try to resist such a situation, the less power it has to disturb us. And the less involved we become with such situations, the sooner they seem to change. People in Twelve Step programs sometimes report miraculous changes when they adjust their own feelings. One frequently hears of outcomes such as this: "I learned not to let this person bother me, and two weeks later he was transferred to another department." My own sensitivity makes me vulnerable to good or bad feelings in the atmosphere. Recognizing them for what they are, I'll enjoy the good feelings and refuse to e disturbed or upset by those that seem bad. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple If it ain't broke, don't fix it.---AA saying Before recovery, we never thought we had enough alcohol or other drugs. More would make us feel better, we thought. Sometimes, we are like this in recovery too. We know we need to change, so we want to do it all right now. If we can just change ourselves totally, we'll feel better, we think. But we can't change all at once. If we ask our Higher Power to take charge of our lives, we'll have the chance to change a little at a time. We'll learn the right things when we need to know them. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me fix what needs fixing today. Action for the Day: I'll make a list of what is broken. Which things on my list can I fix today? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The influence of a beautiful, helpful, hopeful character is contagious, and may revolutionize a whole town. --Eleanor H. Porter We have met certain people who inspired laughter, hope, or changes in us, or those close to us. We look forward to seeing them. We leave their presence believing in ourselves, aware that we can tackle whatever problems had us immobilized. That special gift to inspire is ours for the taking, too. The inspiration comes from God. We can look to God for the strength we need. It will come. We can look also to God for direction, for the steps we need to take today. And then wait. Those persons who inspire us have developed a secure connection to their God. And it's their connection that comes through them to inspire us. We can take some time today, before the demands overwhelm us, to weave our connection to our higher power. When that contact is secure, we won't have to await inspiration from another person to forge ahead with our plans. The inspiration will live within us, and it will beckon us onward. Our way will be illuminated. I shall meditate upon this. Conscious contact with God is only a prayer away. My life will be brightened. My burdens will be lifted. My hopes will become realities, whenever I look to God for the gift of inspiration. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. I can still remember very distinctly getting into Akron at eleven p. m. and routing this same Howard out of bed to do something about me. He spent two hours with me that night telling me his story. He said he had finally learned that drinking was a fatal illness made up of an allergy plus an obsession, and once the drinking had passed from habit to obsession, we were completely hopeless and could look forward only to spending the balance of our lives in mental institutions---or to death. p. 261 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." The same stern threat applies to the group itself. Unless there is approximate conformity to A.A.'s Twelve Traditions, the group, too, can deteriorate and die. So we of A.A. do obey spiritual principles, first because we must, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.'s disciplinarians; we need no others. p. 174 ************************************************** ********* Sometimes we are so eager to give our children what we didn't have that we forget to give them what we did have. If today offers a challenge, be grateful. Challenges are gifts of awareness and growth. The more faithfully you listen to the voice within you, the better you hear what is sounding outside of you. --Dag Hammarskjold Nothing hath separated us from God but our own will, or rather our own will is our separation from God. --William Law Never ask the question you don't want to know the answer to. Pureness in your heart will provide you with fullness in your life. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PROFIT "In freeing people . . . our country's blessing will also come; for profit follows righteousness." -- Senator Albert Beveridge Profit is more than financial benefit or material well-being. Profit, for the recovering alcoholic and drug addict, is being aware of life, feeling feelings and having the capacity for a relationship with God, self and others. But a financial benefit is also part of spirituality; the blessing of money and financial stability are part of God's love and trust. His gift of freedom involves our responsibility and stewardship of money. With money and profit we are not only able to have creative comforts, but we can also make the lives of others creative. A responsible use of money is part of my recovery program and has become one of the joys of the "spiritual awakening". Let Your blessing of money in life help me to bless others. ************************************************** ********* When I felt secure, I said, "I will never be shaken." Psalms 30:6 "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matthew 21:22 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Sometimes we search for God in the wrong places. To help someone in need is the quickest way to touch His hand. Lord, in my ordinary day in my ordinary ways may I come to know and understand You more. Our words are powerful tools and can influence even when we are not aware. Lord, help me to speak with kindness and sensitivity and to be a positive source of encouragement and support to others. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Lightening The Load "It will not make us better people to judge the faults of another It will make us feel better to clean up our lives." Basic Text, p. 37 Sometimes we need something tangible to help us understand what holding a resentment is doing to us. We may not be aware of how destructive resentments actually are. We think, "So what, I have a right to be angry;" or, "I might be nursing a grudge or two, but I don't see the harm." To see more clearly the effect that holding resentments is having in our lives, we might try imagining that we are carrying a rock for each resentment. A small grudge, such as anger at someone driving badly, might be represented by a pebble. Harboring ill will toward an entire group of people might be represented by a enormous boulder. If we actually had to carry stones for each resentment, we would surely tire of the weight. In fact, the more cumbersome our burden, the more sincere our efforts to unload it would be. The weight of our resentments hinders our spiritual development. If we truly desire freedom, we will seek to rid ourselves of as much extra weight as possible. As we lighten up, we'll notice an increased ability to forgive our fellow human beings for their mistakes, and to forgive ourselves for our own. We'll nourish our spirits with good thoughts, kind words, and service to others. Just for today: I will seek to have the burden of resentments removed from my spirit. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Being a healthy parent means being firm but nurturing, giving children a decent sense of the boundaries along with lots of unconditional love. --Karen Shaud In a healthy family, life goes along and everybody pitches in to do the housework. Some people wonder why housework is such a big deal. It is because people need to contribute to a group in order to feel they belong to it. Housework makes us part of the same group--our house, our family. We make our house comfortable so we can feel comfortable and safe in it. We show love for ourselves by making our surroundings likeable. And when we do physical work, we can do our inner housekeeping, letting go of negative feelings that pile up during the day. On days when life feels out of control, we feel good when we do one simple job: clean the messy desk, wash dirty dishes, shovel the snowy walk. In this way we regain control of our feelings as well as a perspective on those things within our control. What simple work do I need to do to feel better today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. One must not hold one's self so divine as to be unwilling occasionally to make improvements in one's creations. --Ludwig van Beethoven We addicted and codependent men too often feel ashamed of our mistakes. It pains us to admit there is room for improvement in what we have done. When we do see that our work can be improved, shame overwhelms us. Our oversensitivity to flaws puts us in a kind of competition with God. We are not yet resigned to letting ourselves be fully human - and letting God be God. Life is much calmer when we remember that who we are and what we do are not the same. We are deeper and richer than any object we create or any job we hold. A genius like Beethoven could see he needed to make occasional improvements in his composition, and we can follow his model. Allowing for imperfection, we are better prepared to deal with it, and we are liberated to do our jobs and live our lives more fully. I will be content to let God be God and accept my life with all its need/or improvements. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Letting Go of Confusion Sometimes, the way is not clear. Our minds get clouded, confused. We aren't certain what our next step should be, what it will look like, what direction we are headed. This is the time to stop, ask for guidance, and rest. That is the time to let go of fear. Wait. Feel the confusion and chaos, and then let it go. The path will show itself. The next step shall be revealed. We don't have to know now. We will know in time. Trust that. Let go and trust. Today, I will wait if the way is not clear. I will trust that out of the chaos will come clarity. Today I continue to let go of all thoughts that continue to pull me out of the present and bringing me to the past and the future. I am becoming more and more open to letting the power of good and love into my life. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Enjoy the Changing Scenery How easy it is to think, I will be feeling like this forever. But look at how quickly the scenery changes! In the space of a few hours while driving down the highway, we can see mountains, deserts, a petrified forest, and iron-rich mesas. In the space of a day we can see courage, faith, despair, desolation, anger, healing, and joy. If there’s one thing that’s true, it’s this: the universe is always changing. It is constant, continual evolution. The same holds true for the minutes, hours, and days of our lives. We are continually changing and shifting. Each emotion, attitude, and experience– each piece of scenery– leads into the next. Put them all together and what do you have? A grand journey– an exciting trip that leads to someplace worth going and someplace worth being, each moment you are here. Look at how quickly the scenery changes. Learn to enjoy the view. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting God Things happen A healthy friend dies participating in a sport she loves. A husband works hard on his marriage only to come home one day and find his wife in bed with another man. A knock at the door, and a starving family opens it to find bags of groceries piled anonymously on the porch. A large order comes in just as a company is getting ready to close its doors, and the owner’s dream is given new life. Sometimes life twists. Sometimes it goes the other way,too. Things happen. Sometimes we label these events good, sometimes bad. We cannot always see the reason or purpose in them, but most of us choose to believe there’s a Divine plan. I don’t know why I’ve received some of the blessings I’ve been given. I don’t know why some of the sorrow has come my way. All I can do is trust that whatever comes my way, there’s a lesson at hand. Are you focusing on the circumstances of your life instead of the lessons? The circumstances are the tools. Be involved in them. Feel the pain of loss and the elation of victory. Let compassion work its way into your soul. Learn caring and kindness for others and yourself,too. Instead of asking why, learn to ask what the lesson is. The moment you become ready to accept it, the lesson will become clear. God, help me accept all the twists and turns along my way. Help me learn to say whatever to the good and the unfortunate incidents that come my way. ****************************************** Set Yourself Free Letting Go of Perfection It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead. This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness. In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Since I came to The Program, I’ve begun to recognize my previous inability to form a true partnership with another person. It seems that my egomania created two disastrous pitfalls. Either I insisted upon dominating the people I knew, or I depended on them far too much. My friends in The Program have taught me that my dependence meant demand — a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me. Do I still try to find emotional security either by dominating or being dependent on others? Today I Pray May I turn first to God to satisfy my love-hunger, knowing that all He asks from me is my faith in Him. May I no longer cast emotional nets over those I excessively dependent upon them — which is just another form of domination. May I give others the room they need to be themselves. May God show me the way to mature human relationships. Today I Will Remember To havve faith is His Love. ****************************************** One More Day The hopeful man sees success where others see failure, sunshine where others see shadows and storm. – O.S. Marden Once in a while we lose sight of the world around us and get caught up in how miserably we are feeling. We may be in physical or emotional pain and become self-absorded. Or we may be unhappy because things are not going exactly the way we want. But we can imagine, just for a moment, a beautiful watercolor picture of a sunrise — the promise of a brand-new day. The hues are gentle pastels. The colors blend together subtly, gently, with no perceptible break from one section to another. We can relax in the beauty and serenity of the scene. We can enjoy it with no other motive than pleasure. Positive imagery can help us enhance the beauty of the moment. I am overwhelmed by nature’s beauty and by the great joy I feel. I can call back these same feelings by visualizing them in my mind. ***************************************** One Day At A Time INSANITY "Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ..... Albert Einstein (1879-1955) Everyday I get up and fight the fight of 'I am not good enough.' Nevertheless, I know I am who I am and that's what counts. I may never be what others expect me to be and many times those expectations were so great that I used to beat myself up over my failures. That is the insanity of the compulsion that I am being healed from. I now have a mirror in my bedroom! I now can go without cleaning my house compulsively for those who visit me and now I can stand up for myself. Why? Because I love ME! Program has given me back who I am. The person I love. My welfare comes first! Above all I am grateful for my sponsor, my Higher Power and this program. I am also grateful to the many men and women who have inspired my life because if it were not for all of these, I would still be in that insanity. One day at a time ... I will not require everyone's approval; I will not continually beat myself up when I expect more of myself than I can give; I will continue to love ME and all the good things about me. ~ Rosehips ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. - Pg. 44 - We Agnostics Note: It doesn't say 'may' or 'could' conquer. Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Stick with the winners and hang with the gods' and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sticking with the winners means to only associate with clean and sober people in the program and going to meetings is hanging with the gods. Grant me the good sense to go to a meeting every day for 90 days and socialize with people on the path of recovery. Co-Creation I live in a world of possibilities. I live in a world in which my imagination walks ahead of me. What I can see in my mind's eye can manifest. First, I have to see it, feel it, experience it as real. Then I open a door within me through which my vision can manifest in God's time. I am limited only by what I am willing to accept as possible. Life is a creative process in which I am the co-creator. God and I work together to make this world a better place to be. I co-create a beautiful world. If not now, when? If not you, who? If not here, where? - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote It is our experience in recovery that a Power greater then ourselves places the answers before us that we need to hear when we need to hear them. Often we don't like the answers and practice self-will by trying to force our solution. Forcing solutions is the same as ignoring Step Three. When I force the solution, the solution becomes the problem. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Ya gotta wanna. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I continue to let go of all thoughts that continue to pull me out of the present and bringing me to the past and the future. I am becoming more and more open to letting the power of good and love enter my life. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote You may be the only copy of the AA Big Book that someone ever reads. - Unknown origin. |
March 12
Daily Reflections A DAY'S PLAN On awakening let us think of the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86 Every day I ask God to kindle within me the fire of His love, so that love, burning bright and clear, will illuminate my thinking and permit me to better do His will. Throughout the day, as I allow outside circumstances to dampen my spirits, I ask God to sear my consciousness with the awareness that I can start my day over any time I choose; a hundred times, if necessary. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The Prodigal Son "took his journey into a far country and wasted his substance on riotous living." That's what we alcoholics do. We waste our substance with riotous living. "When he came to himself, he said: I will arise and go to my father." That's what an alcoholic does in A.A. He comes to himself. His alcoholic self is not his real self. His sane, sober, respectable self is his real self. That's why we're so happy in A.A. Have I come to myself? Meditation For The Day Simplicity is the keynote of a good life. Choose the simple things always. Life can become complicated if you let it be so. You can be swamped by difficulties if you let them take up too much of your time. Every difficulty can be either solved or ignored and something better substituted for it. Love the humble things of life. Reverence the simple things. Your standard must never be the world's standard of wealth and power. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may love the simple things of life. I pray that I may keep my life uncomplicated and free. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It "How Can You Roll With A Punch?", p. 71 On the day that the calamity of Pearl Harbor fell upon our country, a great friend of A.A. was walking along a St. Louis street. Father Edward Dowling was not an alcoholic, but he had been one of the founders of the struggling A.A. group in his city. Because many of his usually sober friends had already taken to their bottles that they might blot out the implications of the Pearl Harbor disaster, Father Ed was anguished by the thought that his cherished A.A. group would probably do the same. Then a member, sober less than a year, stepped alongside and engaged Father Ed in a spirited conversation--mostly about A.A. Father Ed saw, with relief, that his companion was perfectly sober. "How is it that you have nothing to say about Pearl Harbor? How can you roll with a punch like that?" "Well," replied the yearling, "each of us in A.A. has already had his own private Pearl Harbor. So why should we drunks crack up over this one?" Grapevine, January 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Popular Gossip____Higher Thinking The newsstands are full of publications that seem to delight in exposing the sins and foibles of celebrities and prominent officials. Think of the excitement that's been generated just over the sexual misadventures of important people running for public office. While some of these disclosures may be true, we don't help ourselves by reveling in them or reading them. We may even harm ourselves if we get secret enjoyment over the fall of a celebrity. It's never beneficial to find ourselves thinking, "it serves him right." Reading such trash, even in the daily newspapers, is a form of gossip. We can use our time in better ways if we wish to enhance our sobriety. If this sounds a little too stringent, we should remind ourselves that growth in sobriety calls for better management of our thinking and attitudes. Nobody ever got drunk simply because he or she read gossipy trash. But neither did that person make progress over the general problem of gossip. I'll have no interest in the weaknesses or shortcomings of those who might be in the news. Popular gossip can be just as harmful as personal gossip. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The Twelve Step program is spiritual, based on action coming from love . . . Martha Cleveland To be spiritual means to be an active person. It means spending time with others. It means sharing love. It means looking for ways to be more loving to others. It means looking for ways to make the world a better place. Step Three helps us to look at the world better. We turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power. So Lets allow care to direct our lives. Let's always be asking ourselves, "Is what I'm doing something that shows care?" Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, let me be active in a loving, caring way. Let the love in my heart be my guide. Action for the Day: Today, I'll do something good for someone and keep it a secret. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Love is not getting, but giving. It is sacrifice. And sacrifice is glorious! --Joanna Field How easily we mistake attention for love. Even more easily, we trick ourselves into thinking our ability to control someone signifies love - especially theirs for us. But love is something far different from either attention or control. Far different. Love frees others from our grasp--and lets them return on their own. Love is placing another's personal needs above our own, without regret. Love is selfless, yet it exhilarates the self. Giving love softens our edges, completes us, and connects us to the people with whom we are fulfilling our destinies. Wanting love is a normal human desire, not one we should deny. And we shall receive love, the less our emphasis is on getting it, the more on giving it. We invite love when we freely and honestly give it. Another invitation for love comes from loving ourselves; self-hatred, which trapped many of us for years, hampers us no longer. Love inspires--ourselves and those we give it to. It brightens our way, lessens our burdens, makes possible our rightful unfolding. I won't look for love today. I will just give it. It will bless me tenfold. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS But it isn’t so difficult. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life—or else. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. But cheer up, something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. He laid great stress on the progression of his attitude toward life and people, and most of his attitudes had been very similar to mine. I thought at times that he was telling my story! I had thought that I was completely different from other people, that I was beginning to become a little balmy, even to the point of withdrawing more and more from society and wanting to be alone with my bottle. p. 261 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." It is clear now that we ought never to name boards to govern us, but it is equally clear that we shall always need to authorize workers to serve us. It is the difference between the spirit of vested authority and the spirit of service, two concepts which are sometimes poles apart. It is in this spirit of service that we elect the A.A. group's informal rotating committee, the intergroup association for the area, and the General Service Conferences of Alcoholics Anonymous for A.A. as a whole. Even our Foundation, once an independent board, is today directly accountable to our Fellowship. Its trustees are the caretakers and expediters of our world services. pp. 174-175 ************************************************** ********* "Take time for solitude. How else can you contemplate the blessings of recovery," --Abby Warman "What we must realize is that we cannot see everything. We do not know everything. More important, we must understand that it is impossible for us to control anything. The process of life is a spiritual one, governed by invisible, intangible spiritual laws and principles." --Iyanla Vanzant "Everyone who has been mistreated by another has mistreated others at one time or another." --Paul Ferrini "Deep faith eliminates fear." --Lech Walesa It's not the burdens of everyday that drive men mad. It is the regret of yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today. --Unknown I completely, and whole heartedly trust Gods love, it will never fail me. --SweetyZee God's grace can turn pain into joy and blessing. --Isabelle Zeigler Ross ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation DREAMS "I have learned this at least by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." -- Henry David Thoreau Drugs brought me nightmares, never dreams. For years I lived in fear. In the night I imagined horrible shapes, strange colors and sounds, experienced unspeakable tortures and awake in tension and sweat. Today in sobriety my dreams are serene and tranquil; I remember friends and loved ones and those I most admire. I imagine God in the beauty of His creation. He breathes His love through me. My dreams are part of my wellness. God, who created men to dream their dreams, help me to live mine. ************************************************** ********* Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5, 6 "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer." Psalms 19:14 I sought the Lord , and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:4-5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you count your blessings and answered prayers, there is less time for grumbling and complaining. Lord, may I always appreciate the wonders of my life and celebrate Your presence in it. You cannot be discouraged for long if you are close to our Heavenly Father, the giver of all hope and blessings. Lord, I will spend time daily with You and strengthen my faith. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Getting Out Of The Rut "Many times in our recovery, the old bugaboos will haunt us. Life may again become meaningless, monotonous, and boring." Basic Text, p. 75 Sometimes it seems as though nothing changes. We get up and go to the same job every day. We eat dinner at the same time every night. We attend the same meetings each week. This morning's rituals were identical to the ones we performed yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. After the hell of our addiction and the roller-coaster craziness of early recovery, the stable life may have some appeal—for a while. But, eventually, we realize we want something more. Sooner or later, we become turned off to the creeping monotony and boredom in our lives. There are sure to be times when we feel vaguely dissatisfied with our recovery. We feel as though we're missing something for some reason, but we don't know what or why. We draw up our gratitude lists and find literally hundreds of things to be grateful for. All our needs are being met; our lives are fuller than we had ever hoped they'd be. So what's up? Maybe it's time to stretch our potential to its fullest. Our possibilities are only limited by what we can dream. We can learn something new, set a new goal, help another newcomer, or make a new friend. We're sure to find something challenging if we look hard enough, and life will again become meaningful, varied, and fulfilling. Just for today: I'll take a break from the routine and stretch my potential to its fullest. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Gentleness is not a quality exclusive to women. --Helen Reddy Each of us has our soft side: maybe it's when we're petting a kitten, caring for a baby robin with an injured wing, or soothing a crying child who is afraid. Behaving in a gentle way toward others gives us warm feelings inside. It also encourages others to treat us gently, too. We don't always feel like being gentle. If we're sad or worried about school or a friend, we might not even notice the people around us who need our gentleness. But when we remember gentleness, it lifts our spirits. Two people will always be happier when we're gentle--the person we've been gentle to and ourselves. Who can I share my gentleness with today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in. --Gail Sheehy We usually think of children going through stages. If we talk about a man going through a stage, there is usually a tone of a put down in it. But adults go through stages in their lives too. We have different drives and needs at 22 than we had at 16. Age 40 brings a different experience than 30. It would be sad to reach age 60 or 70 and have no more wisdom than we had twenty years earlier. An adult life crisis can come anytime. We may have grown out of a formerly comfortable job. Perhaps we feel new urgings for a more satisfactory relationship than we have settled for. From our recovery experience we know that crisis can bring growth. Courage is required of us from the cradle to the grave. Change continues throughout life With courage, we can face our crises and the changes that come, and eventually we find the gift of new growth. Help me find courage enough to live this day and meet the challenges it brings. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Love is not getting, but giving. It is sacrifice. And sacrifice is glorious! --Joanna Field How easily we mistake attention for love. Even more easily, we trick ourselves into thinking our ability to control someone signifies love - especially theirs for us. But love is something far different from either attention or control. Far different. Love frees others from our grasp--and lets them return on their own. Love is placing another's personal needs above our own, without regret. Love is selfless, yet it exhilarates the self. Giving love softens our edges, completes us, and connects us to the people with whom we are fulfilling our destinies. Wanting love is a normal human desire, not one we should deny. And we shall receive love, the less our emphasis is on getting it, the more on giving it. We invite love when we freely and honestly give it. Another invitation for love comes from loving ourselves; self-hatred, which trapped many of us for years, hampers us no longer. Love inspires--ourselves and those we give it to. It brightens our way, lessens our burdens, makes possible our rightful unfolding. I won't look for love today. I will just give it. It will bless me tenfold. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Timing If we could untangle the mysteries of life and unravel the energies, which run through the world; if we could evaluate correctly the significance of passing events; if we could measure the struggles, dilemmas, and aspirations of mankind, we could find that nothing is born out of time. Everything comes at its appointed moment. --Joseph R. Sizoo Timing can be frustrating. We can wait and wait for something to happen, and it seems to be forever until it comes to pass. Or, suddenly, an event or circumstance is thrust upon us, catching us by surprise. Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect. Today, I will trust and work with Divine Order. I will accept the timing in my life today and in my past as being perfect. I can be centered and at peace inside when the world is going my way, as well as when things are happening that are not my choice. I am learning to focus on this newly found inner peace, especially at times of confusion and stress. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** In God’s Care God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. ~~Isaak Dinesen When our addictive behaviors had control of us, we probably would have laughed if someone told us we would be in a Twelve Step program someday. We spent a lot of our time trying to control and predict the future, and we fought anything that threatened the delusion that we could. When we were ready, our program was there. We discovered that this is a daily program, that by letting God unfold our life twenty-four hours at a time we are released from our obsession to control everything. One of the best gifts of our program is discovering that our Higher Power is in charge of every situation. And as a result, our obsessive need to control no longer controls us. So now we are free to fully experience this moment. We can trust we will benefit somehow because each moment is a gift from God. Whatever God wants me to know today is sufficient. ****************************************** Journey to the Heart You Have the Power to Redefine Your World One power we gain on our journey to the heart is the ability to redefine what we believe. We learn to see things in a new way. We usually have a definition for most areas of our lives, particularly important areas such as work, love, money, and ourselves, but we’re not always conscious of it. The experiences we go through can help our definitions surface, help us see more clearly how we define these areas. That’s called growth. This growth, this process of redefining, will happen naturally on our path. But we can also consciously, actively work on our definitions. Ask yourself if you’re defining something or someone right now in a way that you’d like to change. Perhaps a work relationship, a love relationship, a project, or an issue is causing you distress. You may find you have the power to redefine this area in a way that minimizes or reduces your pain. A healing professional and friend once taught me a technique that can be used on any subject you’re trying to define. On a sheet of paper write down everything you currently believe, including and especially everything negative, about the subject or issue. Include all the “I Can’t's” and the “Wny Nots.” That’s your current definition. On a clean sheet of paper write down how you want to redefine this area, and your involvment in it. Write down everything you want it to be, what you wish for it, what you think the highest truth possible about this subject could be. Burn the paper with the old definitions. Let the smoke clear away from your eyes. Save your new definition. Then watch how the new definition comes to life and take shape. You don’t have to let past definitions of life, love, God, and yourself limit you anymore. You are free to redefine and help create the life you choose; you’re free to see life in a new way. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Don’t cut yourself on your gifts Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or by the handle. –James Russel Lowell Success rains down for no apparent reason. Tragedy strikes like a freight train. We’re left to deal with the results. We can allow our egos to swell over our sudden good fortune, or we can humbly accept the fruit of our labor and continue to better ourselves. We can lie down and give up after a tragedy, or we can grieve, get up, and begin taking steps to move on with our lives. Look at the situations in your life. Have you been given success? Are you learning the lessons of loss? Perhaps yours is the gift of the ordinary. Don’t walk too boastfully through your successes, nor remain too long in your grief. And don’t sleep through an ordinary life. You’ll lose your sense of wonder and awe, and when it ends, you won’t know where you’ve been. We cannot always control what will happen to us. We need to let go of any false thoughts that we can. We can choose how we’ll handle the situation just like we choose how we’ll pick up a knife– by grabbing the handle or the blade. Watch out for the cutting edge. What you do with what you have been given is important. God, thank you for what I’ve been given. ****************************************** Cause, Effect, and Transformation Feeling Depleted by Madisyn Taylor If you are feeling depleted, your body is asking you to take time to make some real changes in your life. There are times in our lives when it seems our bodies are running on empty. We are not sick, nor are we necessarily pushing ourselves to the limit—rather, the energy we typical enjoy has mysteriously dissipated, leaving only fatigue. Many people grow accustomed to feeling this way because they do not know that it is possible to exist in any other state. The body’s natural state, however, is one of energy, clarity, and balance. Cultivating these virtues in our own bodies so that we can combat feelings of depletion is a matter of developing a refined awareness of the self and then making changes based on our observations. A few scant moments of focused self-examination in which you assess your recent schedule, diet, and general health may help you zero in on the factors causing your depletion. If you are struggling to cope with an overfull agenda, prioritization can provide you with more time to sleep and otherwise refresh yourself. Switching to a diet containing plenty of nutritious foods may serve to restore your vigor, especially when augmented by supplements like B vitamins or ginseng. Consider, too, that a visit to a healer or homeopath will likely provide you with wonderful insights into your tiredness. But identifying the source of your exhaustion will occasionally be more complicated than spotting a void in your lifestyle and filling it with some form of literal nourishment. Since your earthly and ethereal forms are so intimately entwined, matters of the mind and heart can take their toll on your physical self. Intense emotions such as anger, sadness, jealousy, and regret need fuel to! manifest in your consciousness, and this fuel is more often than not corporeal energy. Conversely, a lack of mental and emotional stimulation may leave you feeling listless and lethargic. Coping with and healing physical depletion will be easier when you accept that the underlying cause might be more complex than you at first imagined. A harried lifestyle or a diet low in vital nutrients can represent only one part of a larger issue affecting your mood, stamina, and energy levels. When you believe that you are ultimately in control of how you feel, you will be empowered to transform yourself and your day-to-day life so that lasting fatigue can no longer gain a foothold in your existence. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If we examine every disturbance we haved, great or small, we’ll find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its cnsequent unhealthy demand. So let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these crippling liabilities. Then we cna be set free to live and love. W may then be able to Stwlfth-Step ourselves, as well as others, into emotional sobriety. Do I try to carry the message of The Program? Today I Pray Ma I first get my emotional and spiritual house in order before I seek to carry out serious commitments in human relationships. May I look long and thoroughly at “dependency” — upon alcohol or other drugs or upon other human beings — and recognize it as the source of my unrest. May I transfer my dependency to God, as I understand Him. Today I Will Remember I am God-dependent. ****************************************** One More Day Never bend your head. . . Look at the world straight in the face. – Helen Keller Pride is elusive when we’re hurting emotionally. We may act and feel overwhelmed. It is very difficult to be mindful of all we can accomplish and we may focus on what is out of our reach. Or we may tend to hide from our problems by withdrawing from social gatherings or by isolating ourselves emotionally. feeling ashamed that we are hurting makes asking for help very hard. Now, as we hide less often from our feelings we find it easier to face the world straight on. We may not have made this transition easily or even by ourselves, but we are making it with the help of loving friends. Increasingly we accept our limitations, make the effort to do what we can, and ask for help when we must. And with this, we raise our heads with pride. I need not be ashamed when I must ask others for help. ***************************************** One Day At A Time SEASONS OF OUR SOUL "You will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither and whatever you do prospers." ..... Psalms 1:3 For much of my life I have felt rootless, insecure, lost, ineffectual, and scattered by the seemingly-unforgiving winds of chaos, confusion, change, and pain in my life. I certainly do not feel the sense of strength, stability, and solidity that I imagine I’d feel as a “firmly planted tree.” Many of my choices and behaviors add to the storms and fruitlessness of my life…yet I consider again the Tree. The Tree bears its fruit “in its season”. The Tree participates in the work of its Creator by patiently standing strong through the winds, snow, and barrenness of winter…and the Tree knows that winter is only for a Season. The Tree does not rail against God, nor demand that it produce fruit in its season of barrenness; rather, the Tree patiently rests and knows that Spring will return, as it always does and always will. Working our program calls us to trust God – to believe that which we might not yet see, feel, or experience. We can choose to accept with Serenity the seasons of our lives. One day at a time ... I will choose to believe that my Higher Power is at work in me through every season of my life. I will remember that He brings the Life of Spring after the “death” of winter. In trusting Him, I will be stable and fruitful, even when I feel overwhelmed by the winds of life. ~ Lisa ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Unmindful of his welfare, I thought only of recapturing the spirit of other days. There was that time we had chartered an airplane to complete a jag! His coming was an oasis in this dreary desert of futility. The very thing -- an oasis! Drinkers are like that. - Pg. 9 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Nothing comes easy for us right now. A lot of energy goes into just staying put and accepting this new way of life. We say that when the going gets tough, we hang tough! We know that it will pass, we make that promise to you. But it will be in God's time, not yours. Guide my faith, in this program and in You, my Spiritual Source. Staying with Myself Today, I see that taking care of myself begins inside of me. It is not just a function of what I do, but the attitude with which I move through my day. Having my own life is about checking in with myself to see how I'm doing. It's wearing a sweater if I'm cold and taking a break if I'm tired. It's making sure that I'm having enough fun in my life, paying attention to what I enjoy doing, doing more of that and finding ways of reducing what doesn't feel good. Having a life that is well suited to me is letting myself have my own unique likes and dislikes, and acting on them in constructive ways. It is not organizing my life so that it is good enough for everyone else, forgetting that it needs to be good enough for me as well. I occupy the center of my own life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Whatever spiritual values you adopt are unique to you. You may adopt a strong religious stance or a more intimate spiritual philosophy from within. In any case, the spiritual path you seek is up to you and not those around you. Be comfortable with your spiritual choices and don't try to please others. The more I have on the inside, the less I need on the outside. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Detach, don't desert Time for Joy - Book - Quote I can be centered and at peace inside when the world is going my way, as well as when things are happening that are not my choice. I am learning to focus on this newly found inner peace, especially at times of confusion and stress. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's clean and sober across the board. I don't get to take chips in AA for 60. or 90 days or a year, if I'm smoking pot or doing a little social heroin between meetings. Even if pot wasn't my drug of choice. - - Earl H. |
March 13
Daily Reflections A WORLD OF THE SPIRIT We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 The word "entered" . . . and the phrase "entered into the world of the Spirit" are very significant. They imply action, a beginning, getting into, a prerequisite to maintaining my spiritual growth, the "Spirit" being the immaterial part of me. Barriers to my spiritual growth are self-centeredness and a materialistic focus on worldly things. Spirituality means devotion to spiritual rather than worldly things, it means obedience to God's will for me. I understand spiritual things to be: unconditional love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and humility. Any time I allow selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear to be a part of me, I block out spiritual things. As I maintain my sobriety, growing spiritually becomes a lifelong process. My goal is spiritual growth, accepting that I'll never have spiritual perfection. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We've got rid of our false, drinking selves and found our real, sober selves. And we turn to God, our Father, for help, just as the Prodigal Son arose and went to his father. At the end of the story, the father of the Prodigal Son says: "He was dead and is alive again, he was lost and he is found." We alcoholics who have found sobriety in A.A. were certainly dead and are alive again. We were lost and are found. Am I alive again? Meditation For The Day Gently breathe in God's spirit, that spirit which, if not barred out of selfishness, will enable you to do good works. This means rather that God will be enabled to do good works through you. You can become a channel for God's spirit to flow through you and into the lives of others. The works that you can do will only be limited by your spiritual development. Let your spirit be in harmony with God's spirit and there is no limit to what you can do in the realm of human relationships. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may become a channel for God's spirit. I pray that God's spirit may flow through me and into the lives of others. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Dependence--Unhealthy or Healthy, p. 72 "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped-for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left alone--either to grow up or to disintegrate." << << << >> >> >> We discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn't very well play God to our fellows, nor would we feel the urge to rely wholly on human protection and care. 1. Letter, 1966 2. 12 & 12, p. 116 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Believing In Justice____Justice "What goes around, comes around," is a popular saying. It's often used to suggest that certain arrogant, unprincipled people will eventually receive their comeuppance. It conveys the idea that there's a hidden justice at work in human affairs that assures all injustice will eventually be punished. But if it works to punish, this hidden justice also rewards right actions, and this is more important in our working of the program. If we act from good motives, we'll always find that our work is rewarded in some way. No alcoholic who performs a service in the fellowship goes unrewarded. Quite often the reward is simply a personal sense of well-being and growth in character, but these may be more important than money or recognition. Justice is one of the cardinal virtues--a Godlike attribute that human beings strive to understand. Believing in justice is believing in the Hidden Power that orders justice in all things. I'll view my world today as something that is controlled and ordered by a Just Power. Reward and retribution are built into the scheme of things, but I'll focus more on actions that bring the right kind of rewards. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple God loves the world through us---Mother Teresa In Step Three, we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. How do we feel God's care, God's love? We feel God's care and love through how people treat us. Our Higher Power works through people who love us back to life. With time, we begin returning this care and love to others. We feel this warm love flow right through us and out to others. We're kind without trying to be. We smile at others for no reason. We comfort those who hurt just by holding them. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, use me to make Your love real to someone today. Action for the Day: Fear sometimes keeps me from loving. I'll list three things I'm afraid will happen if I'm "to loving." I'll share these fears with my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more. --Margaret Collier Graham Life is not without pain and travail. They are necessary to new awareness which prompts growth. And the gift of growth is joy. Pain and joy are thus intertwined. It is possible to feel only the burden of pain and not the exhilaration of joy, however. Before seeking help to change our lives, many of us were heavily burdened by pain. But we were unable to open ourselves to the knowledge made possible by that pain. We were on a treadmill, accumulating painful experiences at every step, unable to capture the joy that was ever present. We can have hope. Joy does await each of us today. We must open our eyes to it, just as we must open our hearts to one another. We must be willing to peel away the layers of pain to expose the core, the seedling of joy. And we need joy in our lives, just as surely as we need rest and a good diet. We need the light heart that joy fosters for a better perspective on the many experiences we'll face today, and every day. Recovery has given me this new option. It guarantees me that every hurdle will be lightened. The knowledge that joy is inherent, within every experience, is mine, now and forever. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. pp. 44-45 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. Here was a man with essentially the same outlook on life, except that he had done something about it. He was happy, getting a kick out of life and people, and beginning to get his medical practice back again. As I look back on that first evening, I realize that I began to hope, then, for the first time, and I felt that if he could regain these things, perhaps it would be possible for me too. p. 261 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." Just as the aim of each A.A. member is personal sobriety, the aim of our services is to bring sobriety within reach of all who want it. If nobody does the group's chores, if the area's telephone rings unanswered, if we do not reply to our mail, then A.A. as we know it would stop. Our communications lines with those who need our help would be broken. p. 175 ************************************************** ********* The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual. You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. --Jim Rohn "Happiness is not in our circumstances, but in ourselves." --John B. Sheerin "Nothing is worth more than this day." --Goethe "It is a sign of strength, not of weakness, to admit that you don't know all the answers." --John P. Lougbrane ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BALANCE "There are two ways to slide easily through life: To believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking." -- Alfred Korzybski This statement is so true for me. I was so compulsive and obsessive not only about the things that I believed in but also about the things I didn't believe in. I was extreme. Everything I did was exaggerated. I either raced through life at ten thousand miles an hour or was in neutral. Balance was absent. Today I am developing balance in my life, more patience and more tolerance. I have discovered that my extremism was a mask by which I hid from life; I did not have to think, consider or ponder --- I simply reacted. Now I know that to believe in everything is to believe nothing; and to doubt everything is not to think. Life is "a many splendored thing" but it has a variety of options. God of the many, help me to discover You in the myriad of thoughts that life produces. ************************************************** ********* "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another." John 15:9-17 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Take care of your own emotional and spiritual needs first and it will become natural to reach out lovingly to others. Lord, I depend on Your help in every situation. Delighting in the happiness of others will make your heart too big for your body. Lord, help me set aside my jealousies and celebrate the blessings of others. Their blessings will then be a blessing for me too. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today That One Special Person "A sponsor is not necessarily a friend, but may be someone in whom we confide. We can share things with our sponsor that we might not be comfortable sharing in a meeting." IP No. 11, "Sponsorship, Revised" We've asked someone to sponsor us, and the reasons we have for asking that particular person are as many as the grains of sand on a beach. Perhaps we heard them share at a speaker meeting and thought they were funny or inspiring. Perhaps we thought they had a great car and we would get one by working the same program they work. Or maybe we live in a small town and they were the only person who had the time available to help. Whatever our initial reasons for getting the sponsor we have, we're sure to find that our reasons for keeping them are quite different. Suddenly they'll amaze us with some stunning insight, making us wonder whether they've been sneaking peeks at our Fourth Step. Or maybe we're going through some sort of life crisis, and their experience with the same problem helps us in ways we never dreamed possible. We call them in pain, and they come up with a special combination of caring words that provide genuine comfort. None of these remarkable feats on the part of our sponsor are mere coincidence. They've simply walked the same path before us. A Higher Power has placed that one special person in our lives, and we are grateful for their presence. Just for today: I will appreciate that one special person in my life — my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I never dreamed of so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling. --Hans Christian Andersen The ugly duckling was not really ugly at all, he was just different. The other ducks teased and pecked and even bit him until the ugly duckling flew away. He wandered around for a year, and was treated as an outcast everywhere. In the spring, he saw a group of swans on a lake, and wanted very much to join them. As he swam out toward them, he was astounded to notice his reflection in the water--he was a swan! The other swans welcomed him warmly, and found him to be beautiful. Most of us go through times when we feel different from those around us. These are painful and lonely times, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us. Like the ugly duckling, we will come into a time when we will be loved. All the pain and loneliness we have felt will help us fully appreciate the acceptance when we find it. How can I treasure the ways I am different from others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later win a little more. --Louis L'Amour How much fuller each day feels when we can be patient and accept the inches we have progressed. Yet, we are aware of large problems which require miles of progress. We may want others in our lives to change quickly, we may be impatient with a work situation, or we may feel angry about an addiction. Perhaps the spiritual message to us is we need to surrender to time. We are on the road moving in the direction of recovery. The forces of progress are at work. Our growth now may come in learning patience and trusting this process. Looking back we might see a mile of progress. It was made an inch at a time. Today, I will accept my progress. There are many rewards already. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. People need joy. Quite as much as clothing. Some of them need it far more. --Margaret Collier Graham Life is not without pain and travail. They are necessary to new awareness which prompts growth. And the gift of growth is joy. Pain and joy are thus intertwined. It is possible to feel only the burden of pain and not the exhilaration of joy, however. Before seeking help to change our lives, many of us were heavily burdened by pain. But we were unable to open ourselves to the knowledge made possible by that pain. We were on a treadmill, accumulating painful experiences at every step, unable to capture the joy that was ever present. We can have hope. Joy does await each of us today. We must open our eyes to it, just as we must open our hearts to one another. We must be willing to peel away the layers of pain to expose the core, the seedling of joy. And we need joy in our lives, just as surely as we need rest and a good diet. We need the light heart that joy fosters for a better perspective on the many experiences we'll face today, and every day. Recovery has given me this new option. It guarantees me that every hurdle will be lightened. The knowledge that joy is inherent, within every experience, is mine, now and forever. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Clarity and direction In spite of our best efforts to work our programs and lean on Gods guidance, we sometimes don't understand what's going on in our life. We trust, wait, pray, listen to people, listen to ourselves, and the answer still does not come. During those times, we need to understand that we are right where we need to be, even though that place may feel awkward and uncomfortable. Our life does have purpose and direction. We are being changed, healed, and transformed at levels deeper than we can imagine. Good things, beyond our capacity to imagine, are being prepared and brought to us. We are being led and guided. We can become peaceful. We do not have to act in haste or urgency just to relieve our discomfort, just to get an answer. We can wait until our mind is peaceful. We can wait for clear direction. Clarity will come. The answer will come, and it will be good for us and those around us. Today, God, help me know I am being guided into what's good about life, especially when I feel confused and without direction. Help me trust enough to wait until my mind and vision are clear and consistent. Help me know that clarity will come. I have a purpose today. As I let go and let God, This purpose is becoming more and more clear. My heart is full of joy and love as I move towards God's Will for me. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Connect to Creativity The more open and connected you are to the world around you, the more creative you will become. You will become more creative in your own growth and in how you live your life. You will be more creative in problem solving in work and play. You’ll be more willing to try new things– whether it’s learning to play a flute, build a stone fence, ride a horse, or create a Japanese garden in your front yard. You’ll find yourself more open in solving problems with loved ones, trying less traditional approaches than you might have considered in the past. You’ll find yourself gaining insights, information, and healing from sources you may have previously overlooked. Your participation in all your activities will be less controlled and more spontaneous. You will hear the universe prompting you more. You will imagine more. You will recognize the quiet voice of intuition, the voice of your heart. You will see possibilities. And because you are open to your heart, the guidance of your inner voice, you will know what to do, and when to do it. The more connected you are to the universe, to life, to yourself, the more creative you will be. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Say whatever when it’s out of your hands We cannot control everything that happens to us. But we can control our response to those things. We cannot control the feelings of others– their fear, their power trips, their issues. All that we can choose is how we want to respond. Maybe you have been wronged. Maybe you have had a dream taken from you due to the actions of another. What are you going to do about it? You can give up and give in, or you can make the best of the situation, move on if you can, or make a life where you are. Say whatever. Learn to live and let live. You can start over, again and again, if necessary. God, give me the strength to stand up when the actions or thoughts of others drag me down. Help me practice right thought and right action. Help me walk the path that is set before me, no matter what it may bring. ****************************************** The Question of Worthiness Shifting into Gratitude by Madisyn Taylor When we question whether or not we are worthy of something it is important at that time to shift into gratitude. We all know what it’s like to finally get something we want, only to find ourselves feeling as if we don’t deserve it. Whether it’s a car, a new job, or a date with someone wonderful, we suddenly feel as if we are not up to it. Something in us wants to reject this gift from the universe, perhaps because it requires that we think of ourselves in a new way or makes us question why we should have something that others don’t have. If these feelings of unworthiness are not consciously acknowledged, they can lead us to sabotage ourselves out of the gift being offered. Perhaps the best way to avoid rejection and sabotage is to simply shift into a state of gratitude, bypassing the question of worthiness altogether. The question of whether we or anyone else deserves something is not really in our jurisdiction. These themes play themselves out in ways we can’t fully comprehend—on the level of the soul, over the course of many lifetimes. What we do know is that the universe has its own way of shifting the balance over the course of time so that all things are ultimately fair. We can trust in this process and understand that when a gift comes our way, it is because we are meant to have it. Otherwise, it would not be available to us. Accepting the gift with gratitude and using it to the best of our ability is true humility. When we receive a gift and find that feelings of unworthiness crop up, we can simply acknowledge the feelings and then remind ourselves that they are beside the point. We might say to ourselves, “I am meant to have this.” As we allow ourselves to accept the gift, we might feel tenderness in our hearts that naturally shifts into a deep feeling of gratitude. As we sit for a moment, consciously holding the gift in our hands or in our hearts, we say “yes” to the universe’s many blessings, and we also say “thank you.” Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day All my life, I looked to others for comfort, security and all the other things that add up to what I now call serenity. But I’ve come to realize that I was always looking in the wrong place. The source of serenity is not outside, but within myself. The kingdom is within me, and I already have the key. All I have to do is to be wiling to use it. Am I using the tools of The Program on a daily basis? Am I Willing? Today I Pray God gave me the courage to seek out the kingdom inside myself, to find that well-spring within me which has its source in the never-ending, life-giving river of God. May my soul be restored there. May I find the serenity I seek. Today I Will Remember To seek the inner Kingdom. ****************************************** One More Day The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. –Frank Lloyd Wright When we were younger, day and night were two separate entities. Day was when we played and night was when we slept. The distinction is not that sharp as we get older, especially if we have any problems with disturb our sleep. Worry and pain have a tendency to make nights much longer — and lonelier. What looked hopeless the night before can take on a whole new light in the morning. It would be wonderful if we could learn to treat each new day with the same freshness we had as children. We can learn, once again, to experience and to savor each each moment. Once we separate the more likely we are to allow ourselves wonderful days again. My expectations are that I will achieve the best of reach day has to offer. ****************************************** In God’s Care Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. ~~Brendan Francis God speaks to us in many ways at many times. If we are spiritually alert, we will know it when it happens. A stray thought occurs; we overhear a bit of conversation; a passage in something we are reading suddenly stands out–and we know we have connected. A feeling of assurance and peace comes over us. The trouble is that we might acknowledge this contact only briefly, and then it slips away. The time to act passes. The favor we could have done; the advice of support we could have offered; the help we could have given or received–all are missed opportunities. When God speaks, we must do more than listen. Today I will act when inspired. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Love "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu As we explore our twelve step program and peel away the onion that is us, we find many parts of ourselves that we had never known before. Those parts have always been there ... we just weren't aware of the importance of them. Suddenly, as though it were a light bulb flashing, it hits us full in the face and we find ourselves seeing what our deepest need in life is. It took practically a lifetime to realize that my deepest need was to love and to be loved. How could I have lived so long and not realized that before? I am grateful that the twelve step program gave me the ability to feel love, perhaps for the very first time. I am also grateful that this beautiful way of living also gave me the ability to give love. One day at a time ... I will keep my heart open for opportunities to love ... and quietly but expectantly to be loved. ~ A TRG Member ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote This seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no nonalcoholic could. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery. - Pg. xvi - xvii - 4th. Edition - Forward To Second Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Some people's missionary zeal in helping us is quite annoying. They tell us what to do, know what's best for us, get preachy. We, however, can be charitable as we know: they preach best what THEY most need to learn! My Spiritual Source helps me tolerate the 'preachers' of the program, as one day I may act like that too! Forgiveness I forgive myself for being less than perfect, that's how I will love myself and others today. Perfection is that myth that I carry around in my head to beat myself up with and to make it seem others fall short. That celluloid image against which I measure myself and come out feeling lacking, that yard stick with which I hit my own back side. Today, I will see perfection and beauty in what is. I will have an attitude of forgiveness toward myself and others for being other than what is expected. We're all just bumbling along mostly doing the best we can, sometimes worse than we should, sometimes better. Just for today, I won't get hung up on imperfection. I forgive imperfection - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Prayer does not change what you are praying about. Prayer changes you. I learn to 'hit' it with a prayer, not a chair and I change! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I have a purpose today. As I let go and let God, this purpose is becoming more and more clear. My heart is full of joy and love as I move more towards God's Will for me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I didn't think my sponsor could read for the first six months. I'd say; 'John, I need a better paying job.' and he'd say: 'Read page 127, what does it say on page 127?' I'm expecting to find a credit card application there or something, and it says; 'Material well-being always follows spiritual progress, it never preceded. - Chris C. |
March 14
Daily Reflections THE KEYSTONE He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62 A keystone is the wedge-shaped piece at the highest part of an arch that locks the other pieces in place. The "other pieces" are Steps One, Two, and Four through Twelve. In one sense this sounds like Step Three is the most important Step, that the other eleven depend on the third for support. In reality however, Step Three is just one of twelve. It is the keystone, but without eleven other stones to build the base and the arms, keystone or not, there will be no arch. Through working of all Twelve Steps, I find that triumphant arch waiting for me to pass through to another day of freedom. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Can I get well? If I mean: "Can I ever drink normally again," the answer is no. But if I mean, "Can I stay sober?" the answer is definitely yes. I can get well by turning my drink problem over to a Power greater than myself, that Divine Principle in the universe which we call God, and by asking that Power each morning to give me the strength to stay sober for the next twenty-four hours. I know from the experience of thousands of people that if I honestly want to get well, I can get well. Am I faithfully following the A.A. program? Meditation For The Day Persevere in all that God's guidance moves you to do. The persistent carrying out of what seems right and good will bring you to that place where you would be. If you look back over God's guidance, you will see that His leading has been very gradual and that only as you have carried out His wishes, as far as you can understand them, has God been able to give you more clear and definite leading. Man is led by God's touch on a quickened responsive mind. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may persevere in what seems right. I pray that I may carry out all of God's leading, as far as I can understand it. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Two-Way Tolerance, p. 73 "Your point of view was once mine. Fortunately, A.A. is constructed so that we need not debate the existence of God; but for best results, most of us must depend upon a Higher Power, and no right-minded A.A. would challenge your privilege to believe precisely that way. We should all be glad that good recoveries can be made even on this limited basis. "But turnabout is fair play. If you would expect tolerance for your point of view, I am sure you would be willing to reciprocate. I try to remember that, down through the centuries, lots of brighter people than I have been found on both sides of this debate about belief. For myself, of late years, I am finding it much easier to believe that God made man, than that man made God." Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places Living with depression___Mood management Getting sober is often only a first small step in getting well. Many recovering alcoholics must also face an underlying depression that seems to mock their efforts to attain real serenity. But sobriety does not cause the depression. It simply lays bare a condition that was present all along, but had been masked by repeated binges. It's probably true, too, that many of us used alcohol partly as a drug to combat depression because it temporarily lifted our mood and relieved our pain. One fact about depression is that it comes and goes; we can endure it partly by knowing that "this too shall pass." Another fact is that physical activity helps in copying with it. AA co-founder Bill W., victimized by profound depression even in his sober years, found that walking provided some relief, though he had to force himself to do it at times. A third fact about depression is that we can usually alleviate its effects by helping others and by staying close to AA circles, even when we're too depressed to contribute much. It's also helpful to discuss the problem with understanding friends and sponsors, or a therapist, if necessary. I'll believe today that I can maintain a good mood level that continues to build as I carry out my responsibilities and make AA first in my life. Depression may challenge me, but I don't have to give in to it. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Archie doesn't know how to worry without getting upset. --- Edith Bunker Most us are like Edith's television husband, Archie. When we worry, we get upset. Problems seem too big for us. We get afraid. We feel powerless. What does the program tell us to do when we feel powerless and our life is upset? We look at the problem honestly . Than we ask our Higher Power to help us with the problem. We take it One Day at a Time. We believe our Higher Power will take care of us and help. We'll have problems. That's life! But we can get through them with care and support. We don't have to get crazy. We don't have to make things worst. We can be kind to ourselves and live through problems just fine---with our Higher Powers help. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me do what I can today about my problems. Help me stop worrying. Action for the Day: If I have problems today, I'll do what I can---and leave the outcome to my Higher Power. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The child is an almost universal symbol for the soul's transformation. The child is whole, not yet divided. . .when we would heal the mind. . .we ask this child to speak to us. --Susan Griffin Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps, "the child" is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance. "I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent," writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses, we give them too much important, too much power. Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Lack of power, that was our dilemma. we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. p. 45 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. The next afternoon and evening, two other men visited me, and each told me his tory and the things that they were doing to try to recovery from this tragic illness. They had that certain something that seemed to glow, a peace, a serenity combined with happiness. In the next two or three days the balance of this handful of men contacted me, encouraged me, and told me how they were trying to live this program of recovery and the fun they were having doing it. pp. 261-262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Nine - "A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." A.A. has to function, but at the same time it must avoid those dangers of great wealth, prestige, and entrenched power which necessarily tempt other societies. Though Tradition Nine at first sight seems to deal with a purely practical matter, in its actual operation it discloses a society without organization, animated only by the spirit of service--a true fellowship. p. 175 ************************************************** ********* "Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." --Anon. Courage can't see around corners, but goes around them anyway. --Mignon McLaughlin I have a capacity in my soul for taking in God entirely. I am as sure as I live that nothing is so near to me as God. God is nearer to me than I am to myself; my existence depends on the nearness and the presence of God. --Meister Eckhart Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive injury. --Edwin Hubbel Chapin The gift of the Spirit is that we are God's children. --Rita Jorgensen ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation WINE "Wine that maketh glad the heart of man." -- Psalm 104:15 Every good thing can be abused and alcohol is no exception. Although most people are able to enjoy the fruits of the grape and the quality of their lives are enriched by good wine, not a few are destroyed by wine! Millions of people in this world are alcoholic. They did not want to be alcoholic but they are. Their lives and relationships are destroyed by alcohol. They need to stop drinking if they are to find "gladness" in their lives. Alcoholism is a disease that cannot be cured, but it can be arrested by giving up the grape! God can be appreciated in the grape, but He can also be experienced in the soda. We need to find new ways to be happy. Thank You for the precious gift of choice. ************************************************** ********* "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me." Psalms 50:15 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalms 51:10 Every word of God is pure: He is a shield unto them that put their trust in Him. Proverbs 30:5 "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Treat your family as you would treat a best friend. Lord, help me to treasure my family with all of their imperfections as well as my own and cherish the time we have together. Do not act as though you are watching a parade because we are each one of the marchers. Lord, things change so quickly. Help me to celebrate the constant newness of my life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Relationships "Also, our inventories usually include material on relationships." Basic Text p. 29 What an understatement this is! Especially in later recovery, entire inventories may focus on our relationships with others. Our lives have been filled with relationships with lovers, friends, parents, co-workers, children, and others with whom we come in contact. A look at these associations can tell us much about our essential character. Often our inventories catalog the resentments that arise from our day-to-day interactions with others. We strive to look at our part in these frictions. Are we placing unrealistic expectations on other people? Do we impose our standards on others? Are we sometimes downright intolerant? Often just the writing of our inventory will release some of the pressure that a troubled relationship can produce. But we must also share this inventory with another human being. That way, we get some needed perspective on our part in the problem and how we can work toward a solution. The inventory is a tool that allows us to begin healing our relationships. We learn that today, with the help of an inventory, we can start to enjoy our relationships with others. Just for today: I will inventory the part I play in my relationships. I will seek to play a richer, more responsible part in those relationships. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Each man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. --Mark Twain What does it mean to be different? How does it feel? Is it okay to act or look or be different from everyone else at times? Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, it feels safer to blend into the crowd. We don't want to stick out like a sore thumb. But sometimes it's when we are different that we discover new things no one has ever thought of or done before. We don't want to spend our whole lives doing only what others do. And there are times when we must take a stand if what others are doing is wrong. Perhaps it's good practice to try to do some little things differently once in a while, to stand out from the crowd, just to get use to it. After all, if no one ever dares to be different, how would our world ever change for the better? What little thing can I do to stand out from the crowd today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing. --Margaret Atwood Men have often become victims by seeing themselves as saviors. We forgot that we have needs too. We thought if we gave enough, our needs would eventually be met. In the process we became great controllers, not for the sake of power, but to make everything okay. We turn ourselves inside out to make our mates happy or to please our children or friends. But being a savior is a disrespectful role to play. When people became angry with us for it, we absorbed their anger and felt misunderstood. No relationship is healthy for either person if one is victim. We must do our loved ones the favor of letting them see our strength--let them bump up against it--even when that means we say a loud and strong no! After we have said no, our yes is much more believable. Today. I will take responsibility for my own life and try not to be a savior for others. I won't undermine my relationships by being a victim. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The child is an almost universal symbol for the soul's transformation. The child is whole, not yet divided. . .when we would heal the mind. . .we ask this child to speak to us. --Susan Griffin Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps, "the child" is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance. "I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent," writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses, we give them too much important, too much power. Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Trusting Ourselves Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery. Who do we trust? For what? The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that's happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn't trust ourselves. There will be some who tell us we cannot trust ourselves, we are off base and out of whack. There are those who would benefit by our mistrusting ourselves. Fear and doubt are our enemies. Panic is our enemy. Confusion is our opposition. Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves. How do we acquire it? We learn it. What do we do about our mistakes, about those times we thought we could trust ourselves but were wrong? We accept them, and trust ourselves anyway. We know what is best for us. We know what is right for us. If we are wrong, if we need to change our mind, we will be guided into that--but only by trusting where we are today. We can look for others for support and reinforcement, but trust in ourselves is essential. Do not trust fear. Do not trust panic. We can trust ourselves, stand in our own truth, stand in our own light. We have it now. Already. We have all the light we need for today. And tomorrow's light shall be given to us then. Trust ourselves, and we will know whom to trust. Trust ourselves, and we will know what to do. When we feel we absolutely cannot trust ourselves, trust that God will guide us into truth. God, help me to let go of fear, doubt, and confusion--the enemies of self-trust. Help me go forward in peace and confidence. Help me grown in trust for myself and You, one day at a time, one experience at a time. I will value myself today both for my perfections and especially for my imperfections. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Observe Yourself Watch yourself. That’s not a grim admonition. It’s a call to observe yourself and is a helpful tool on the journey. When you get stuck in a behavior, stuck in a pattern, stuck in a place, a thought, a feeling, a job, or a relationship and you don’t know how to get unstuck, watch yourself. When you’ve tried everything you know and your feelings and old ways of reacting still come to the fore– even when you don’t want them to and especially when you’ve made an effort to do things differently– watch yourself. When it feels hopeless, when it seems things will never change or shift, when you can’t help yourself and it doesn’t look like those around you can either, look at yourself. The act of watching ourselves, neutrally observing ourselves without judgement or reproach, can be a powerful tool for change. If you’ve tried and tried to change but it hasn’t worked, then watch yourself. Watch what you say, what you think, how you feel, how you act, how you react. Don’t try to stop yourself. Don’t judge. Just observe. Do it as long as you need to, although it may not take long. Watch yourself. Then watch how you grow and change. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn something new about yourself Wildfires scorch large chunks of the Western United States every summer. It’s part of the natural cycle of things. After a while, nature decides that it’s time to start over and a patch of the woods goes up in smoke. This year, one fire burned near Mesa Verde National Park in southwesten Colorado. I read the news wires with interest, hoping that the archeological sites there wouldn’t be destroyed. The crews worked on the fires, and though there was damage in the area, the main ruins were left unharmed. While the fires had burned thousands of acres around the park, they had also done something else– they had burned away the undergrowth that had sprung up around twelve perviously undiscovered sites. Sometimes life sends fires raging through our lives,too. Those fires are also part of the natural cycle of things. Life, nature, our Higher Power says it’s time to start over again. Use misfortune as an opportunity. Who knows? That fire rampaging through your life just might clear away the brush of the past. Keep your heart open and stay aware. You might learn something new and previously undiscovered about yourself. God, help me stay alert to the lessons of today. ****************************************** In God’s Care We are all special cases. ~~Albert Camus We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others and far too frequently end up feeling inferior. Perhaps someone at work is more articulate than we are or an acquaintance always seems more striking and self-assured. And most of you know couples who seem to have the perfect relationship while we continue to struggle in ours or have no significant other. On occasion we might even feel superior to some people–like the gruff man in line ahead of us at the bank or the rude cashier at the grocery store. But in all cases, the moment we compare and thus create a separation between ourselves and others, we deny the blessing of God’s all-encompassing plan for each of us. We are all one in God. When we realize our connection to one another, we learn our task is to care for each other rather than artificially set ourselves apart. I will look around me carefully today and notice how I’m connected to others rather than how I’m separate. ****************************************** Giving Your Gifts to the World Being Happy with Your Job In our search to define ourselves, we often look to our job to show us our worth. Society does not judge all professions equally, however, and it is not uncommon for the individuals who hold what others may consider to be ordinary or menial jobs to feel that they themselves are ordinary or menial. Yet, in truth, many wonderful and wise people throughout history have held what have typically been perceived as ordinary jobs, and this in no way has had any bearing on whether or not they have managed to contribute their skills and talents to the world. Whether you work in business, education, medicine, retail, or another profession, you worth is inherent to who you are and not what you do for a living. A job that you enjoy, lets you meet your needs, and allows you to live in accordance with your values will always be more gratifying than a high-status job that you dislike. But while experiencing professional satisfaction can be a vital part of being fulfilled by your work, it is important to remember that it is possible to find happiness in any job. This is because what you do is often less important than how you do it. Your attitude and intention can turn a mediocre job into work that fulfills you because of the way that you approach it. If you do your job well and what you do benefits others, then you are doing work that is making this world a better place. If you are happy in your current line of work and feel that it allows you to be yourself and live authentically while meeting your emotional and physical needs and allowing time for you to enjoy the fruits of your labor, then you have found a job that adds value to your life. If you are a waitress, then be the best waitress you can, take pride in your work and others will notice your passion. You can contribute your talents and skills to this world while doing any job. It is not the kind of work you do that allows you to be of service. It is you who must choose to be of service through the work that you do. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day One thing that keeps me on the right track today is a feeling of loyalty to other members of The Program, no matter where they may be. We depend on each other. I know, for example, that I’d be letting them down if I ever took a drink. When I came into The Program, I found a group of people who were not only helping each other to stay sober, but who were loyal to each other by staying sober themselves. Am I loyal to my group and to my friends in The Program? Today I Pray I thank God for the loyalty and fellowship of the group and for the mutuality of commitment that binds us together. May I give to the group in the same proportion that I take from it. Having been a taker during so many of my years, my giving used to be no more than a commodity, for which I expected to be paid in approval or love or favors. May I learn the joy of pure giving, with no strings attached, no expectations of reward. Today I Will Remember A perfect gift asks nothing in return. ****************************************** One More Day A cheerful face is nearly as good for an invalid as healthy eather. –Benjamin Franklin Health changes, like other changes in life circumstances, cna undermine friendships. When we are dealing with chronic pain or discomfort or when we have become impaired with illness, some friends just aren’t sure how t act under the new circumstances. People who love us want to help us; they want to be with us. The hard part for u is how to let them. Visits won’t be easy for us or them at first because our lives and relationships are changed by illness. But soon we realize that we still care for and need these special people and that we want to show our affection, during the trying times as well as during the better times. I can find comfort and stability by maintaining my friendships. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Cease Striving "Cease Striving – Let Go, Relax – And Know that I Am God” . . . . Psalms 46:10 I can count on one hand the times in my life in which I’ve been able to feel truly relaxed. Our disease is often driven by our efforts to control our lives: we labor to control our emotions, our relationships, our image, and our “masks” which we wear in a valiant effort to control how other people see and respond to us. This effort to control ourselves and our lives is a ruthless taskmaster and a double-edged sword. It cuts like a knife through our very souls and requires that we forsake who we are in a misguided – and fruitless – attempt to be who we believe we “should be.” I have worked so hard at trying to mold myself into an Acceptable Person that I have lost who I truly Am. All of my ceaseless efforts to mold myself into who I thought I Should Be have cost me my very sense of Self, and has been a painful eroding of my own Identity – it is a tragic self-imposed suicide of my Soul. Like many of us, in order to enter recovery I had to come to the End of Myself and lose any sense of Control I had over my life. This was terrifying for me – I believed that even without a false sense of control, my life would implode and leave only ruined remnants in its place. But I have not imploded. I have not been destroyed. With the crumbling of my masks and my frantic efforts to control everything, I have found a surprising sense of peace and safety – even in the midst of the chaos in my life. I am convinced that had God not brought me to the end of my own efforts, I would not be in a place in which I can hear His Voice. My ears would have remained deaf to His promise to never forsake me. Had He not firmly – yet gently – gotten my attention, my unsettled Mind would have continued to shout warnings and commands into my withered soul. Hitting Bottom is the best thing that could have happened to me, for I landed not in destruction, but in His eternal loving arms. One Day at a Time . . . I will choose to cease my own striving and efforts to control my life. I will practice being still and knowing that my Higher Power is with me at all times, in every circumstance of my life ~ Lisa ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. - Pg. 35 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Don't jump ship five minutes before the miracle is going to happen in your life. Stick around long enough to see that miracle grow for you day by day. Right now you are a champion of sobriety and we see you as a miracle. Soon you will see the miracle yourself. I can only do my best. Please God, as I understand You, do the rest. Today I will live in the present grateful to be alive and in this radiant world for one more day. Living in the present brings its own perspective. What is not worth getting preoccupied about falls away while what is truly meaningful and important rises up and into focus. I am here to appreciate and live life, to grow, to share my heart and soul with those around me. If I miss today, I will not get it back. If I allow it to work its beauty inside of me, it will fertilize tomorrow's garden. Today is what I know I have. All of life is here, woven into the atoms of the world that surrounds me. If I am with this day, I am with all of life. I am part of an alive universe. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote All our suggestions are free. The ones you don't take are the ones you end up paying for. When all else fails, I take the suggestions. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Maybe you didn't die because of H & I. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I will value myself today both for my perfections and especially for my imperfections. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I hear some say that their best thinking got them into AA. My best thinking didn't get me here - A power greater than myself did. - Al A. |
March 15
Daily Reflections THE GOD IDEA When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52 Like a blind man gradually being restored to sight, I slowly groped my way to the Third Step. Having realized that only a Power greater than myself could rescue me from the hopeless abyss I was in, I knew that this was a Power that I had to grasp, and that it would be my anchor in the midst of a sea of woes. Even though my faith at that time was minuscule, it was big enough to make me see that it was time for me to discard my reliance on my prideful ego and replace it with the steadying strength that could only come from a Power far greater than myself. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We alcoholics were on a merry-go-round, going round and round, and we couldn't get off. That merry-go-round is a kind of hell on earth. In A.A. I got off that merry-go-round by learning to stay sober. I pray to that Higher Power every morning to help me to keep sober. And I get the strength from that Power to do what I could never do with my own strength. I do not doubt the existence of that Power. We're not speaking into a vacuum when we pray. That Power is there, if we will use it. Am I off the merry-go-round of drinking for good? Meditation For The Day I must remember that in spiritual matters I am only an instrument. It is not mine to decide how or when I am to act. God plans all spiritual matters. It is up to me to make myself fit to do God's work. All that hinders my spiritual activity must be eliminated. I can depend on God for all the strength I need to overcome those faults which are blocks. I must keep myself fit, so that God can use me as a channel for His spirit. Prayer For The Day I pray that my selfishness may not hinder my progress in spiritual matters. I pray that I may be a good instrument for God to work with. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Breach The Walls Of Ego, p. 74 People who are driven by pride of self unconsciously blind themselves to their liabilities. Newcomers of this sort scarcely need comforting. The problem is to help them discover a chink in the walls their ego has built, through which the light of reason can shine. << << << >> >> >> The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each A.A.'s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. Nearly all A.A.'s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required just for sobriety, they still haven't much chance of becoming truly happy. Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency. 12 & 12 1. p. 46 2. p. 70 ************************************************** ********* Walk in Dry Places The Secret of Detachment___Dealing with others. "Detaching with love" is what those close to alcoholics do when they realize they can't change them. The same principle should apply to any distressing situation, but how does it work? How can I detach from people who really bother me____ especially fellow workers, or perhaps a boss or customer? The secret of detachment is expressed in the biblical charge, "Resist not evil." We don't fight or resist the other person, or even try to change their behavior. We stop believing that the other person's behavior can really control us in the future. We become impersonal about something that was once highly charged with resentment and bitterness. At no point, however, do we say that the others' wrong behavior is all right, nor do we lie to ourselves about what the other is doing. Detachment does not mean that the outcome will be recovery or change for the other person. That sometimes happens, and we're grateful when it does. If we detach in the right way, however, the outcome will always be better than anything we could bring about by fighting the situation. We have to count an outcome favorable if we stay sober and under control in the midst of an insane situation. I will detach myself from conflicts with others if they arise today. I am not going to fight anything or anybody, and I know this will bring me closer to the ideal of living at peace with everybody. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple I never loved another person the way I loved myself.---Mae West This sums up how we used to live. We were in love with ourselves. We had to be on center stage. Our self-will ran riot. Recovery pulls us out of that world. We learn to focus on others. We learn to reach out to them with love. This is the best way to love ourselves. This doesn't mean that we live our lives through others. It means we invite others into our lives. It also means we ask to be invited into their lives. Recovery breaks down our self-will. It makes room for others in our lives. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I give You my self-will. I know You'll do better with it than me. Action for the Day: I'll list three ways my self-will has messed up my life. How am I doing at turning over these things to my Higher Power? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Flattery is so necessary to all of us that we flatter one another just to be flattered in return. --Marjorie Bowen We are all deserving of unconditional love and acceptance. And all the people in our lives, past and present, deserve our unconditional love and acceptance, too. However, it's doubtful that we either feel it all of the time from others or give it away. It's human of us to find fault--to have expectations that are too high. But for this we pay a price. Instead of experiencing our lives serenely, contentedly, flowing with what is, we often criticize, judge, and feel generally disgruntled throughout the day. What a waste! We do have another choice, fortunately. We can let go and let God, and live and let live. Also we can recall, today and every day, that we are all special individuals in this world who are loved, fully, by our Creator. The greatest contribution we can make to the lives of others is to be affirming. We can let our spouse, children, and friends know we care about them. That we love and accept them. The love that we also long for will come back to us. We thrill at being affirmed. And we will thrill at affirming. It feels good to help another feel appreciated. Love and acceptance is my lifeline, from God around us all. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word “God” brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism, We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, “Who, then, make all this?” There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. pp. 45-46 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories He Sold Himself Short But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago. Then and then only, after a thorough indoctrination by eight or nine individuals, was I allowed to attend my first meeting. This first meeting was held in the living room of a home and was led by Bill D., the first man that Bill W. and Dr. Bob had worked with successfully. p. 262 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Ten - "Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy." NEVER since it began has Alcoholics Anonymous been divided by a major controversial issue. Nor has our Fellowship ever publicly taken sides on any question in an embattled world. This, however, has been no earned virtue. It could almost be said that we were born with it, for, as one old-timer recently declared, "Practically never have I heard a heated religious, political, or reform argument among A.A. members. So long as we don't argue these matters privately, it's a cinch we never shall publicly." p. 176 ************************************************** ********* Joy isn't the absence of pain - it's the presence of God. I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself. --Walter Anderson "Remember the difference between a boss and a leader; a boss says 'Go!' - a leader says 'Let's go!'" --E.M. Kelly God backs me up, there is no greater power. I am safe. --SweetyZee If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don't know the answer, I'll tell them I don't know. --Bill Cosby ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation THOUGHT "By thought I embrace the universal." -- Blaise Pascal My ability to think and communicate enables me not only to live in this world, but also to understand this world. Relationships are dependent upon me understanding my responsibilities --- and when I do not think, I am usually very irresponsible. Alcohol stopped me from thinking and behaving responsibly and created dishonesty in my life. Instead of feeling I belonged, I felt I was on the outside; instead of enjoying relationships, I was forever fighting and involved in bitter disputes; instead of enjoying the peace that comes from being a "child of God", I felt like an abandoned creature. My problem was alcohol, and I needed to do something about it. I did --- I stopped taking the first drink. Today I am alive in my life, alive in God's world and enjoying this universe. When I think clearly, I know I belong. ************************************************** ********* He [God] Himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." I Corinthians 10:13 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 1:4 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration To be rich is to have good friends, good health, and the energy to experience the many things that life offers. Lord, I rejoice in the true and most meaningful riches of my life. God will give you strength because He gives of Himself. Lord, bless us, deliver us from all evil, and bring us to everlasting life. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Feeling A "Part Of" "The get-togethers after our meetings are good opportunities to share things that we didn't get to discuss during the meeting." Basic Text p. 29 Active addiction set us apart from society, isolating us. Fear was at the core of that alienation. We believed that if we let others get to know us, they would only find out how terribly flawed we were. Rejection would be only a short step away. When we come to our first NA meeting, we are usually impressed by the familiarity and friendliness we see other recovering addicts share. We, too, can quickly become a part of this fellowship, if we allow ourselves to. One way to start is by tagging along to the local coffee shop after the meeting. At these gatherings, we can let down the walls that separate us from others and discover things about ourselves and other NA members. One on one, we can sometimes disclose things that we may be reluctant to share at the group level. We learn to make small talk at many of these late-night gatherings and forge deep, strong friendships as well. With our newfound friends in NA, we no longer have to live lives of isolation. We can become a part of the greater whole, the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous. Just for today: I will break free of isolation. I will strive to feel a part of the NA Fellowship. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The difficulty in life is the choice. --George Moore How we choose to spend our time says much about what is important to us. If we have no goals, we may try to kill time. If we have too many goals, there may not be enough time in the day to do all we set out to do. We must make some choices based on our values. We may need to take more time for some things, and let go of others. For example, this year will we try to learn to play the guitar? Perhaps we have finally decided to drop out of that club which seems to have little purpose. Will we give more time to work, or less time? With each of these choices, we shape our lives. We can do it with the touch of an artist if we pay attention to the choices we are making. What is truly important to me today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. --Antoine de Saint Exupery It has been said that intuition is a talent of women, but in this program we, as men, are learning to listen to our own inner feelings. This is a strength which has nothing to do with gender. Many times we have a quiet inner knowing of something, but in the past we developed insensitivity to these messages. Our growing self respect includes the ability to stand up for what simply feels right. We don't have to prove anything to ourselves. If we dismiss our own private feelings, all we have left to go on is someone else's idea of reality. This realm of inner feeling is the realm of wisdom. It is the creative part, the mysterious part, the spiritual part. It is the foundation of honesty with ourselves. In these quiet moments, we are more able to perceive what we know in our hearts. As we grow, we respect and trust it more. Help me respect my private messages from within. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Flattery is so necessary to all of us that we flatter one another just to be flattered in return. --Marjorie Bowen We are all deserving of unconditional love and acceptance. And all the people in our lives, past and present, deserve our unconditional love and acceptance, too. However, it's doubtful that we either feel it all of the time from others or give it away. It's human of us to find fault--to have expectations that are too high. But for this we pay a price. Instead of experiencing our lives serenely, contentedly, flowing with what is, we often criticize, judge, and feel generally disgruntled throughout the day. What a waste! We do have another choice, fortunately. We can let go and let God, and live and let live. Also we can recall, today and every day, that we are all special individuals in this world who are loved, fully, by our Creator. The greatest contribution we can make to the lives of others is to be affirming. We can let our spouse, children, and friends know we care about them. That we love and accept them. The love that we also long for will come back to us. We thrill at being affirmed. And we will thrill at affirming. It feels good to help another feel appreciated. Love and acceptance is my lifeline, from God around us all. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Removing the Victim Dont others see how much Im hurting? Cant they see I need help? Dont they care? The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, its because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had. It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change. Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself. My Higher Power guides me in directions that fills positive needs in my life today. I have grown to see that my true needs are love and peace and joy. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Learn to Say Good-Bye Sometimes we need to say good-bye. Some good-byes come suddenly, without warning. Others are anticipated. Sometimes they’re a relief. And sometimes they hurt deeply. We say good-bye to things, people, and places. We say good-bye to beliefs and behaviors that become outdated. Occasionally along the journey we need to say good-bye to something else,too– our dreams. Dreams are precious. They become embedded in our minds and our hearts. When they die, it can be painful to let go of them. But if we’re not careful, dead dreams we haven’t released can sabotage our lives and hearts. We will continue to try to place people and things in the vacant roles in our dreams. Our dead dreams will, in fact, be controlling our lives and blocking our hearts. Living with dreams that are dead closes the door to finding new visions and creating new dreams. If you can’t see today or tomorrow clearly because of yesterday’s dreams, it may be time for a funeral. Tenderly take your dearest dreams, your highest hopes and aims– the ones from yesterday that are now never to be– and place them gently in the ground. Tell them how dear they were, and are. But tell them also, it’s time to say good-bye. Cover them up. Dry your eyes. And open yourself to the new hopes and dreams of today. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of the controls “You have the controls,” my fllight instructor says. “No, you have the controls,” I say back. “No I don’t,” he says. “You do.” My banter with my flight instructor can be amusing at times. It’s not so funny when we fight about issues of power and control in our lives. And usually it goes the other way. We don’t want to give the controls to someone else; we want those reins ourselves. We want to get our way. And we get upset when things don’t work out. Sometimes, after we’ve been working on ourselves and our control issues for a while, we begin to get complacent. Because we’ve been so effectively using and directing our power, we rarely get in battles we can’t win. Things work out smoothly. We mostly get our way, because we’re not trying to control what we can’t. That’s when it’s easy to think we’re more powerful than we are. Are you engaged in a power struggle with someone or something you can’t change? Spend a moment thinking about it. Is that really the way you want to use your energy and power, trying to do the impossible, creating rifts, and fighting battles you can’t win? When we try to control someone else or events beyond the scope of our power, we lose. When we learn to discern the difference between what we can change and what we can’t, we usually have an easier time expressing our power in our lives. Because we’re not wasting all our energy using our power to change things we can’t, we have a lot of energy left over to live our lives. Learn to say whatever when you don’t get what you want. Learn to let things be the way they are. God, help me let go of my need to control and to be open to the flow of the universe. ****************************************** In God’s Care You should practice humility first toward man, and only then toward God. He who despises men has no respect for God. ~~Paracelsus It is easier for us to be humble before God than before people. When we have to admit we need help, we are swallowing a a dose of humility, but if it’s just between us and God, it’s not as hard to take. Being humble with our fellow human beings is different. An act of humility before a visible, breathing, thinking witness may be frightening. The witness, after all, could be judgmental. Are we afraid to be vulnerable? More importantly, can we afford not to be? When we can face fellow suffers and admit the need for help, recovery begins. Humbling ourselves in this way is our introduction to Divine power: through the compassion our brothers and sisters show for us, we come to know the love of God. I receive help for all my spiritual needs by being open, first to my brothers and sisters. and then to God. ****************************************** The Valley of Despair Seeds of Light by Madisyn Taylor Even in our darkest times, there are seeds of light within ourselves, we need only call them forward. Anyone who has walked through the valley of despair and come out the other side knows that even in that darkness, seeds of light can be found. Often their tendrils reach out of the gloom and into the daylight alongside the journeyer who emerges from that deep sorrow. When we find ourselves in a place of despair, it can help us to know this, so that we don’t give up. We can stop, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves that we will find ourselves on the other side of this troubled time, and that we may even emerge with something new to offer. It seems that despair has been around for as long as humans have been able to express themselves, and many of the great artists, teachers, and visionaries have labored through times of depression and hopelessness. Their words, images, and lives can serve as beacons in the darkness, even if they can’t always immediately lead us out. In the end, we must find our own way, and this is why despair often overwhelms us when it comes; we doubt that we have the resources to contend with such a formidable presence all by ourselves. This is when we must come to our own aid and know in our hearts that we have what it takes to keep moving forward in the general direction of the light. Even though we must ultimately rely on ourselves, this doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help. Our friends and families can help us, as can our inner guides and helping spirits. They can serve the purpose of a fire that burns throughout the night, keeping us warm, and providing a light by which we might see the changes we may need to make in order to move forward. In addition, there truly are seeds of light inside us, however small, waiting to unfurl their green shoots, if only we will give them the time. Published with permission from Daily OM ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day There have been days during my recovery when just about everything seemed bleak and even hopeless. I allowed myself to become depressed and angry. I see now that it doesn’t matter what I think, and it doesn’t matter how I feel. It’s what I do that counts. So when I become anxious or upset, I try to get into action by going to meetings, participating, and working with others in The Program. If God seems far away, who moved? Today I Pray May I not be immobilized by sadness or anger to the point of despair. May I look for the roots of despair in my tangle of emotions, sort out the tangle, pulll out there culprit feelings, acknowledge that they belong to me. Only then can I get into gear,m take action,m begin to accomplish. May I learn to make use of the energy generated by anger to strengthen my will and achieve my goals. Today I Will Remember To sort out my feelings. ****************************************** One More Day A man without a plan for the day is lost before he starts. – Levis K. Bendele Some mornings we are tempted, especially when we are having more than our usual share of pain, to resist the demands and responsibilities of the day before us. We are enticed by the thought5 of making a cup of coffee, climbing back into bed with the newspaper, and hiding from the world. Although emptying, this is usually not a good plan for us, and what we need is a plan that encourages us to live the day fully. We may actually have to contrive a plan to push us into action. Personal care, chores needing to be done, letters or phone calls to friends, a trip to the store for groceries — these emphasize our importance and the importance of the day. Without a plan, we risk wasting twenty-four hours in loneliness and self-pity. I and this day are important, and my plan reflects this. ***************************************** One Day At A Time LOYALTY “We are all in the same boat, in a stormy sea, and we owe each other our loyalty." ~ G. K. Chesterton As is often typical of a compulsive overeater, the more I struggled to be loyal in my relationships with others, God, and myself, the more I found myself to be capable of loyalty only to food, shame, hiding my secrets, and despairing of any hope for recovery. It was my shame that drove me to ineffectual attempts at loyalty – and shame breeds loyalty only to shame. My relationships were in chaos, my mind was my enemy, and my emotions were tumultuous. When my pain overcame my attempts to be loyal, and my addiction to shame led to broken relationships, I had to finally admit that my efforts to control my life were fruitless – and would remain fruitless – unless I sought help. When I entered recovery I feared the honesty and transparency that loyalty to self, others, God, and the truth would require of me. Among others who struggled with the same disease, however, I found that there can be no loyalty without taking a fearless inventory of my life and making a faithful accounting of my legacy. I found that I must surrender my loyalty to my disease, and place my loyalty in the hands of my Higher Power and in the open sharing of my reality. Only then could I cultivate loyalty in my relationships. One day at a time ... I will choose loyalty to healthy relationships with others, God, and myself – and I will resist the temptation to be loyal to my disease. Lisa ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else? - Pg. 37 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It is easy to 'beat ourselves up' when we are lonely, scared, and feeling rejected by those we love. But if we go to meetings every day, find a sponsor and use him/her, read our literature, and follow the suggestions being give to us now, we really don't have much time to dwell on 'lonely, scared, and rejected.' Show me right now what I need to do to live this hour through, clean and sober. Opening to the New Each new day is a gift. Today I will open the day slowly, like a present that's wrapped in hours. I will be open to what my world offers me. The world comes to greet me like an old friend each morning. My daily habits comfort and ground me. The thought of moving into my day pleases me. Life unfolds one second at a time and today I will be present to witness it. How much of my life do I let pass by unnoticed? How many of my feelings go unfelt? Today I will recognize that my time on earth is limited. I choose to value my life a day at a time and embrace it while I have it. I am open to life. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We find that the winners do what they have to do and the losers do what they want to do. The winners are stuck with me. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Denial is not a river in Egypt, but you can drown in it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My Higher Power guides me in directions that fills positive needs in my life today. I have grown to see that my true needs are love and peace and joy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I was a functioning alcoholic; I had a wife who worked. - Sean A. |
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