My drug of choice is more....

More of what you are having, more of what I am having, and more of anything else that comes my way.

Anything that takes me out of self.

Anything that takes me out of the reality of the moment.

Anything that takes away the responsibility of coping with today.

Anything that takes away the feeling of being alone with me.

Anything that takes away my feelings,

Anything that is in front of me.

I am glad that the anything that is in front of me is the program of recovery and the Twelve Steps which allow me to walk this road clean and sober today.

http://www.angelwinks.net/images/angel226.jpg

When I came into recovery, I was told "We don't do this forever. We do it one day at a time." When we project into tomorrow worrying about staying clean and sober, we lose out on today.

When I stay in today, I have one day's feelings, one day's thoughts, one day's denials, one day's events and situations.

If I look at the whole picture, I get overwhelmed. Some days it is simply staying in the moment. I had a sponsor who told me for her it was three seconds because she was prone to seizures.

For me it has been doing what ever it takes to stay clean and sober, just for today. I can't, God (group of drunks) can, and just for today I choose to let Him/Her show me the way to sobriety (soundness of mind).

I think I posted this elsewhere but can`t remember where. Posted on another site in 2009

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Snow Flakes,the kind you don't have to shovel. We had snow flurries today.

Many hours were spent as a child cutting out paper snowflakes and pasting them to the windows to decorate for the holidays.

http://www.papersnowflakes.com/instructions

http://www.highhopes.com/snowflakes.html

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This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew, "presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."

These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper.

If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it!
That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. "

But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics: 1. They were wise. 2. They were men.

Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it off. This is not just my opinion: This is a scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I know.

One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a gift is "if it's such a poor gift that I don't want to be there when the person opens it."

The other is Gene, who told me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never takes more than 15 seconds per gift. "No one ever had to wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas," Gene said. "They were the ones that looked like enormous spitballs."

I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I camouflage this sector with a marking pen.)

If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by Scotch tape.

On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife, like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife would wrap each individual volt.

My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like having babies that come more naturally to women than to men. That is why today I am presenting:
GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN:

* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.

* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning:

YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?
YOU: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!

YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It's a leaf blower.
YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!

YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.
YOU: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.

--Male Author Unknown (more likely, not among the living any longer)

P.S. Santa didn't wrap gifts either in the good old day. He just placed them under the tree. Ah, but that was Christmas Eve. In today's Walmart world, gifts start appearing under the tree as early as Thanksgiving.

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Found this post I made on another site in 2004.

The program says a God our Understanding. To cover all perception of members, it is suggest that you use the term "Higher Power."

I found it to be funny, but it put a perspective on how, we all come to believe, but we don't always believe the same thing.

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To make the world a friendly place One must show it a friendly face.

-James Whitcomb Riley

We are beginning to learn that we get what we expect. Why? If we believe that people are out to get us, we'll not treat them well. We will think it's okay to "get them" before they "get us." Then, they'll be angry and want to get even. And on it goes. It's great when we can meet the world with a balance. We are now honest people. We can expect others to be fair with us. We get the faith, strength, and courage to do this because of our trust in our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, I put my life in Your care. Use me to spread Your love to others.

Action for the Day
Today, I'll spread friendliness. I will greet people with a smile.

- Keep It Simple May 7th

My sponsor told me that if I have recovery, it was my responsibility to show it. You may be the only Big Book someone may see. What kind of message are you carrying?

http://angelwinks.net/images/iq/qcangel436.jpg

THE MASK I WEAR

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
masks that I'm afraid to take off
and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me
but don't be fooled,
for God's sake, don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name
and coolness my game,
that the water's calm
and I'm in command,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my
weaknesses
and fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks
to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades
to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that
knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only salvation,
and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
and if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
from my own self-built prison walls

I dislike hiding, honestly
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh
and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,
that I'm just no good
and you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a facade of assurance without,
And a trembling child within.
So begins the parade of masks,

The glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear
what I'm not saying
Hear what I'd like to say
but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you,
long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me
the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
you wonder who I am
you shouldn't
for I am every man
and every woman
who wears a mask.
Don't be fooled by me.
At least not by the face I wear.

-----author unknown

http://www.angelwinks.net/images/icq...ipgoodwill.jpg