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- - Just for Today (https://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1950)

MajestyJo

07-06-2016 06:05 AM

Quote:

Just for Today
June 6

"I'm sorry"

Page 196

"The main thing [the Eighth Step] does for us is to help build awareness that, little by little, we are gaining new attitudes about ourselves and how we deal with other people."

Basic Text, p. 39

To say "I'm sorry" probably isn't such a foreign idea to most of us. In our active addiction, it may have been a very familiar phrase. We were always telling people how sorry we were, and were probably deeply surprised when someone, tired of our meaningless apologies, responded with, "You sure are. In fact, you're the sorriest excuse for..." That may have been our first clue that an "I'm sorry" didn't really make any difference to those we harmed, especially when we both knew that we'd just do the same thing again.

Many of us thought that making amends would be another "I'm sorry." However, the action we take in those steps is entirely different. Making amends means to make changes, and above all, to make the situation right. If we stole money, we don't just say "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again now that I'm clean." We pay the money back. If we neglected or abused our families, we don't just apologize. We begin to treat them with respect.

Amending our behavior and the way we treat ourselves and others is the whole purpose of working the steps. We're no longer just "sorry"; we're responsible.

Just for Today: I accept responsibility for myself and my recovery. Today, I will amend some particular thing I'm sorry for.

I'm sorry just doesn't cut it. We need to work on our issues so that we don't continue acting out in our disease. Me need to make an amend, which means changing our thoughts and our actions. It doesn't help to say, "I'm sorry!" and continue to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It is the insanity of our disease."

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MajestyJo

07-09-2016 11:58 PM

Quote:

Just For Today
September 9
Feet Of Clay

“One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on… others.”
Basic Text p.78

Many of us come into Narcotics Anonymous feeling pretty poorly about ourselves. By comparison, the recovering addicts we meet at meetings may seem almost superhumanly serene. These wise, loving people have many months, even years of living in accordance with spiritual principles, giving of themselves to others without expecting anything back. We trust them, allowing them to love us until we can love ourselves. We expect them to make everything alright again.

Then the glow of early recovery begins to fade, and we start to see the human side of our NA friends and sponsor. Perhaps a fellow member of our home group stands us up for a coffee date, or we see two old-timers bickering at a committee meeting, or we realize our sponsor has a defect of character or two. We’re crushed, disillusioned-these recovering addicts aren’t perfect after all! How can we possibly trust them anymore?

Somewhere between “the heroes of recovery” and “the lousy NA bums” lies the truth: Our fellow addicts are neither completely bad nor completely good. After all, if they were perfect, they wouldn’t need this program. Our friends and sponsor are ordinary recovering addicts, just like we are. We can relate to their ordinary recovery experience and use it in our own program.

Just for today: My friends and my sponsor are human, just like me-and I trust their experience all the more for that.

It was a hard lesson to learn, don't put someone or allow someone else put you on a pedastal, it is a hard way down when you fall.

I had a sponsor who listened with her ears and spoke with her mouth a lot of my business, that wasn't hers to tell. I generally didn't care, because I would have said what ever I had to say to someone's face. What you see is what you get. Ironically, I sponsored her when she was ill and dying. I got the feeling that she had aliannated just about everyone else. It was sad.

MajestyJo

07-12-2016 07:58 AM

Quote:

Just for Today
July 12

Patience

Page 202

"We were trapped by our need for the instant gratification that drugs gave us."

Basic Text, p. 25

"I want what I want, and I want it now!" That's about as patient as most of us ever got in our active addiction. The obsession and compulsion of our disease gave us a "one-track" way of thinking; when we wanted something, that's all we thought about. And the drugs we took taught us that instant gratification was never more than a dose away. It's no wonder that most of us came to Narcotics Anonymous with next to no patience.

The problem is, we can't always get what we want whenever we want it. Some of our wishes are pure fantasy; if we think about it, we'll realize we have no reason to believe those wishes will be fulfilled in our lifetimes. We probably can't even fulfill all our realistic desires; we certainly can't fulfill them all at once. In order to acquire or achieve some things, we will have to sacrifice others.

In our addiction we sought instant gratification, squandering our resources. In recovery we must learn to prioritize, sometimes denying the gratification of some desires in order to fulfill more important long-term goals. To do so requires patience. To find that patience, we practice our program of recovery, seeking the kind of full-bodied spiritual awakening that will allow us to live and enjoy life on life's terms.

Just for Today: Higher Power, help me discover what's most important in my life. Help me learn patience, so that I can devote my resources to the important things.

This is so important for me at the moment. My fibromyalgia had been making itself glaringly apparent lately and I have to have patience with myself. It begins with me, I have to have it within myself in order to be patient with others.

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MajestyJo

07-23-2016 08:25 AM

Quote:

Just for Today

Surrendering self-will

Page 213

"We want and demand that things always go our way. We should know from our past experience that our way of doing things did not work."

Basic Text, p. 93

All of us have ideas, plans, goals for our lives. There's nothing in the NA program that says we shouldn't think for ourselves, take initiative, and put responsible plans into action. It's when our lives are driven by self-will that we run into problems.

When we are living willfully, we go beyond thinking for ourselves-we think only of ourselves. We forget that we are but a part of the world and that whatever personal strength we have is drawn from a Higher Power. We might even go so far as to imagine that other people exist solely to do our bidding. Quickly, we find ourselves at odds with everyone and everything around us.

At this point, we have two choices. We can continue in our slavery to self-will, making unreasonable demands and becoming frustrated because the planet doesn't spin our way. Or we can surrender, relax, seek knowledge of God's will and the power to carry that out, and find our way back to a condition of peace with the world. Thinking, taking initiative, making responsible plans-there's nothing wrong with these things, so long as they serve God's will, not merely our own.

Just for Today: I will plan to do God's will, not mine. If I find myself at odds with everything around me, I will surrender self-will.

I must always remember to get out of my own way. My best thinking got me to the doors of recovery. My thinking is healthier in today, thanks to the program which I apply one day at a time. When I find myself slipping back into those old thoughts and patterns, I can pick up the recovery tools and stop my slide into a lapse of judgment, perception, and self-will run riot.

I must remember that, when I surrender, I am empowered to do what I need to do for my recovery in today.

MajestyJo

07-26-2016 07:48 PM

Quote:

July 26, 2016

Unconditional surrender

Page 216

"Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat. This can be frightening, but it is the foundation on which we have built our lives."

Basic Text, p. 22

Most of us have tried everything we can think of, exerted every ounce of force possible, to fill the spiritual hole inside us. Nothing-not drugs, not control and management, not sex, money, property, power, or prestige-has filled it. We are powerless; our lives are unmanageable, at least by ourselves alone. Our denial will not change that fact.

So we surrender; we ask a Higher Power to care for our will and our lives. Sometimes in surrendering, we don't know that a Power greater than ourselves exists which can restore us to wholeness. Sometimes we're not sure that the God of our understanding will care for our unmanageable lives. Our lack of certainty, though, does not affect the essential truth: We are powerless. Our lives are unmanageable. We must surrender. Only by doing so can we open ourselves wide-wide enough for our old ideas and past wreckage to be cleared, wide enough for a Higher Power to enter.

Just for Today: I will surrender unconditionally. I can make it as easy or as hard as I choose. Either way, I will do it.

I always looked at surrender as giving up and failure. It is far from it. It is about giving up my way and being honest, open minded, and willing to work the program and listen and learn from others.

When I surrender to the program and to my Higher Power, I am empowered as to what I need to do each day to stay clean and sober. Sober belongs in NA, just as much as it does in that OTHER fellowship. You don't get soundness of mind, when you take mind altering substances. Alcohol is a drug.

MajestyJo

08-01-2016 01:13 PM

August 01, 2016

Freedom from guilt

Page 223

"Our addiction enslaved us. We were prisoners of our own mind and were condemned by our own guilt."

Basic Text, p. 7

Guilt is one of the most commonly encountered stumbling blocks in recovery. One of the more notorious forms of guilt is the self-loathing that results when we try to forgive ourselves but don't feel forgiven.

How can we forgive ourselves so we feel it? First, we remember that guilt and failure are not links in an unbreakable chain. Honestly sharing with a sponsor and with other addicts shows this to be true. Often the result of such sharing is a more sensible awareness of the part we ourselves have played in our affairs. Sometimes we realize that our expectations have been too high. We increase our willingness to participate in the solutions rather than dwelling on the problems.

Somewhere along the way, we discover who we really are. We usually find that we are neither the totally perfect nor the totally imperfect beings we have imagined ourselves to be. We need not live up to or down to our illusions; we need only live in reality.

Just for Today: I am grateful for my assets and accept my liabilities. Through willingness and humility, I am freed to progress in my recovery and achieve freedom from guilt.

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MajestyJo

08-03-2016 02:17 PM

Quote:

August 03, 2016

Trusting people

Page 225

"Most of us would have had nowhere else to go if we could not have trusted NA groups and members."

Basic Text, p. 84

Trusting people is a risk. Human beings are notoriously forgetful, unreliable, and imperfect. Most of us come from backgrounds where betrayal and insensitivity among friends were common occurrences. Even our most reliable friends weren't very reliable. By the time we arrive at the doors of NA, most of us have hundreds of experiences bearing out our conviction that people are untrustworthy. Yet our recovery demands that we trust people. We are faced with this dilemma: People are not always trustworthy, yet we must trust them. How do we do that, given the evidence of our pasts?

First, we remind ourselves that the rules of active addiction don't apply in recovery. Most of our fellow members are doing their level best to live by the spiritual principles we learn in the program. Second, we remind ourselves that we aren't 100% reliable, either. We will surely disappoint someone in our lives, no matter how hard we try not to. Third, and most importantly, we realize that we need to trust our fellow members of NA. Our lives are at stake, and the only way we can stay clean is to trust these well-intentioned folks who, admittedly, aren't perfect.

Just for Today: I will trust my fellow members. Though certainly not perfect, they are my best hope.

My sponsor said you can learn two things in recovery, "How to work your program and how not to work your program. My spiritual advisor said just because they are in the rooms doesn't mean you have to trust them if they are not walking their talk. Remember they are as sick as you or they wouldn't be here. I know I was one of the really sick ones. A friend of mind use to say, "I'm a real alcoholic." He admitted to being an addict too. It sounds to me that it has as much truth as being a little bit pregnant." Either you are or you are not, and if you want to get better, trust the program. It works if you work for it. Until I went back to school and my health deteriated, I was doing 7-10 meetings a day for 10 years. Then when things got bad, *** was here for me, whether the members were not. Coming and posting here is my meeting when I can't get out. If there are no new posts, I go to look at the old ones, especially those I missed before and ones that speak to me in today.

MajestyJo

08-09-2016 01:09 AM

Quote:

August 08, 2016

Responsible recovery

Page 230

"...we accept responsibility for our problems and see that we're equally responsible for our solutions."

Basic Text, p. 97

Some of us, well accustomed to leaving our personal responsibilities to others, may attempt the same behavior in recovery. We quickly find out it doesn't work.

For instance, we are considering making a change in our lives, so we call our sponsor and ask what we should do. Under the guise of seeking direction, we are actually asking our sponsor to assume responsibility for making decisions about our life. Or maybe we've been short with someone at a meeting, so we ask that person's best friend to make our apologies for us. Perhaps we've imposed on a friend several times in the last month to cover our service commitment. Could it be that we've asked a friend to analyze our behavior and identify our shortcomings, rather than taking our own personal inventory?

Recovery is something that has to be worked for. It isn't going to be handed to us on a silver platter, nor can we expect our friends or our sponsor to be responsible for the work we must do ourselves. We recover by making our own decisions, doing our own service, and working our own steps. By doing it for ourselves, we receive the rewards.

Just for Today: I will accept responsibility for my life and my recovery.

Recovery is but a program of suggestion. I needed to find my own program and what would work for me. I found myself reflected in the Fellowship of Recovery.

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MajestyJo

08-28-2016 08:24 PM

Quote:

"As we approach this step, most of us are afraid that there is a monster inside of us that, if released, will destroy us."

Basic Text, p. 27

Most of us are terrified to look at ourselves, to probe our insides. We're afraid that if we examine our actions and motives, we'll find a bottomless black pit of selfishness and hatred. But as we take the Fourth Step, we'll find that those fears were unwarranted. We're human, just like everyone else-no more, no less.

We all have personality traits that we're not especially proud of. On a bad day, we may think that our faults are worse than anyone else's. We'll have moments of self-doubt. We'll question our motives. We may even question our very existence. But if we coould read the minds of our fellow members, we'd find the same struggles. We're no better or worse than anyone else.

We can only change what we acknowledge and understand. Rather than continuing in fear what's buried inside us, we can bring it out into the open. We'll no longer be frightened, and our recovery will flourish in the full light of self-awareness.

Just for today: I fear what I don't know. I will expose my fears and allow them to vanish.

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

When I brought the stuff from within out into the open, it allowed for more light to shine in my life. The more I got rid of the old, I made room for the new spiritual gifts and blessings of the program.

Posted this on another site in 2004

How can we know what to change if we don't know what is there. We have to recognize things for what they are and feel them, before we can truly let go of them.

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MajestyJo

08-30-2016 10:02 PM

Quote:

August 30, 2016

Doing good, feeling good

Page 252

"We examine our actions, reactions, and motives. We often find that we've been doing better than we've been feeling."

Basic Text, p.43

The way we treat others often reveals our own state of being. When we are at peace, we're most likely to treat others with respect and compassion. However, when we're feeling off center; we're likely to respond to others with intolerance and impatience. When we take regular inventory, we'll probably notice a pattern: We treat others badly when we feel bad about ourselves.

What might not be revealed in an inventory, however, is the other side of the coin: When we treat others well, we feel good about ourselves. When we add this positive truth to the negative facts we find about ourselves in our inventory, we begin to behave differently.

When we feel badly, we can pause to pray for guidance and strength. Then, we make a decision to treat those around us with kindness, gentleness, and the same concern we'd like to be shown. A decision to be kind may nurture and sustain the happiness and peace of mind we all wish for. And the joy we inspire may lift the spirits of those around us, in turn fostering our own spiritual well-being.

Just for Today: I will remember that if I change my actions, my thoughts will follow.

When I was with my friend in the grocery store today, the machine to pay by interact wasn't functioning properly. I told the cashier that I would take the juice and pay cash and leave our dinners from their buffet behind. The gentleman behind us told the cashier that he would pay, and I thought at first he was going to buy the food rather than let it go to waste. Instead he gave them to us, and it was an awesome thing to do. I am not sure he understood the circumstances, but it didn't matter, he had a very generous heart. As we walked out of the store past their cafe, he was sitting there eating his meal and I got the opportunity to thank him again.

I said to my friend, "God is very good to us." We need to thank Him as well as the gentleman he put in our path.

The whole thing gave me warm fuzzies. Certainly a change it attitude from what I had prior to recovery.

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MajestyJo

09-03-2016 12:20 AM

Quote:

Higher Powered

Page 256

"Daily practice of our Twelve Step program enables us to change from what we were to people guided by a Higher Power."

Basic Text, p.8

Who have we been, and who have we become? There are a couple of ways to answer this question. One is very simple: We came to Narcotics Anonymous as addicts, our addiction killing us. In NA, we've been freed from our obsession with drugs and our compulsion to use. And our lives have changed.

But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Who have we really been? In the past, we were people without power or direction. We felt like we had no purpose, no reason for living. Our lives didn't make any more sense to us than they did to our families, our friends, or our neighbors.

Who are we really becoming? Today, we are not merely clean addicts, but people with a sense of direction, a purpose, and a Power greater than ourselves. Through daily practice of the Twelve Steps, we've begun to understand how our addiction warped our feelings, motivations, and behavior. Gradually, the destructive force of our disease has been replaced by the life-giving force of our Higher Power.

Recovery means more than cleaning up-it means powering up. We have done more than shed some bad habits; we are becoming new people, guided by a Higher Power.

Just for Today: The guidance I need to become a new person is ready at hand. Today, I will draw further away from my old lack of direction and closer to my Higher Power.

Each time I go to a meeting, I get Good Orderly Direction from a group of drunks and drug addicts. Alcohol is a drug. I need to get rid of the old to make room for the new.

MajestyJo

09-03-2016 12:20 AM

Quote:

Each time I go to a meeting, I get Good Orderly Direction from a group of drunks and drug addicts. Alcohol is a drug. I need to get rid of the old to make room for the new.

MajestyJo

10-29-2016 10:14 AM

Quote:

October 29, 2016

Living in the now

Page 315

"Living just for today relieves the burden of the past and the fear of the future."

Basic Text, pp. 94

Thoughts of how bad it was-or could be-can consume our hopes for recovery. Fantasies of how wonderful it was-or could be-can divert us from taking action in the real world. That's why, in Narcotics Anonymous, we talk about living and recovering "just for today."

In NA, we know that we can change. We've come to believe that our Higher Power can restore the soundness of our minds and hearts. The wreckage of our past can be dealt with through the steps. By maintaining our recovery, just for today, we can avoid creating problems in the future.

Life in recovery is no fantasy. Daydreams of how great using was or how we can use successfully in the future, delusions of how great things could be, overblown expectations that set us up for disappointment and relapse-all are stripped of their power by the program. We seek God's will, not our own. We seek to serve others, not ourselves. Our self-centeredness and the importance of how great things could or should be for us disappears. In the light of recovery, we perceive the difference between fantasy and reality.

Just for Today: I am grateful for the principles of recovery and the new reality they've given me.

Today is a not so good day, it is so important to stay in the moment, in the now. I haven't had a migraine that has taken me back to bed since I quit smoking 18 years ago. Today just might be an exception. I find myself fighting it, yet then I ask myself why, and I get the answer, "Because you need to." The weather has a big part of it, so again the key is acceptance.

MajestyJo

11-08-2016 02:25 AM

Quote:

Acceptance And Change

"Freedom to change seems to come after acceptance of ourselves."

Basic Text pg. 56

Fear and denial are the opposites of acceptance. None of us are perfect, even in our own eyes; all of us have certain traits that, given the chance, we would like to change. We sometimes become overwhelmed when contemplating how far short we fall of our ideals, so overwhelmed that we fear there's no chance of becoming the people we'd like to be. That's when our defense mechanism of denial kicks in, taking us to the opposite extreme: nothing about ourselves needs changing, we tell ourselves, so why worry? Neither extreme gives us the freedom to change.

Whether we are long-time NA members or new to recovery, the freedom to change is acquired by working the Twelve Steps. When we admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives, we counteract the lie that says we don't have to change. In coming to believe that a Power greater than we are can help us, we lose our fear that we are damaged beyond repair; we come to believe we can change. We turn ourselves over to the care of the God of our understanding and tap the strength we need to make a thorough, honest examination of ourselves. We admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being what we've found. We accept the good and the bad in ourselves; with this acceptance, we become free to change.

Just for today: I want to change. By working the steps, I will counter fear and denial and find the acceptance needed to change.

pg. 371

I have to be willing to change. I often have to pray for the willingness to be willing to change.

Like the last line "...find the acceptance needed to change." Never thought that I too easily give in and accept things that are no longer working for me and I need to change my perception and my outlook.

Never thought of changing my acceptance, indeed, food for thought! At least not to my knowledge, although I might have in another context. Hmmmm!!!

MajestyJo

12-12-2016 02:13 AM

Quote:

December 11, 2016

Misery is optional

Page 361

"No one is forcing us to give up our misery."

Basic Text, p. 29

It's funny to remember how reluctant we once were to surrender to recovery. We seemed to think we had wonderful, fulfilling lives as using addicts and that giving up our drugs would be worse than serving a life sentence at hard labor. In reality, the opposite was true: Our lives were miserable, but we were afraid to trade that familiar misery for the uncertainties of recovery.

It's possible to be miserable in recovery, too, though it's not necessary. No one will force us to work the steps, go to meetings, or work with a sponsor. There is no NA militia that will force us to do the things that will free us from pain. But we do have a choice. We've already chosen to give up the misery of active addiction for the sanity of recovery. Now, if we're ready to exchange today's misery for even greater peace, we have a means to do just that-if we really want to.

Just for Today: I don't have to be miserable unless I really want to be. Today, I will trade in my misery for the benefits of recovery.

I am only as miserable as I make up my mind to be. I have freedom of choice as long as I don't pick up that first drug, what ever form it takes. A drug is a drug.

Substitution doesn't work. All I do is end up with two or more addictions.

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